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#rewatching this many times already still laughing
bitethehnd · 2 days
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omg i’ve had the biggest brainrot over ur naomi & taylor!reader & rewatching the eras tour i have 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ thoughts
i can imagine reader! having a chat w naomi when they’re ready to make it official and actually tell everyone they’re together (god knows everyone’s figured it out but shh let them have their moment) & reader! asks if they can make it official during the show but doesn’t tell Naomi how,, they’re just like trust me it’ll be good and naomi is like ok !! anything for u !! & during karma reader! sings “karma is my baby on the screen, coming straight home to me!” & they somehow get naomi’s live reaction on the big screen megatron thing of reader fully making it official to everyone mid show and they’re just in AWE
& in the same show when reader! sings “you’re in love” they do a lil speech about how this song was written for someone else completely and after everything that went down, they hated this songs because it brought back so many bad memories (or something) but now they have someone who makes them feel like this song is the reason for existence again and it just cuts to lil naomi sobbing aAAA i truly love that fic so much i still have so many thoughts about it thank u thank u thank u
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⊹ ‧₊˚ ౨ৎ you are in love
pairing : naomi mcpherson x popstar!reader
a/n : ANON I LOVE YOUR BRAIN KISS KISS
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at this point during your eras tour, the two of you are already together. you think you’re all sneaky but literally everyone knows… naomi looks at you like you gave them the moon so it’s quite obvious, but everyone lets you two have your fun!
the first people you told were obviously katie and jo. they both had fake surprised looks on their faces but said the two of you deserved to be happy. then ensue the countless jokes and comments from jo.
the boys were thrilled too! since phoebe had also opened for you, she had taken a guess that you two had a thing for each other and then her suspicions were confirmed. julien fist pumped naomi and lucy gave you a big hug!! you guys are adorable fr.
next came telling the world about the relationship. you two held off for a few months, wanting privacy, but it seemed twitter was already aware of it. everyone had their theories and some were so outrageous that you just wanted to tell everyone yourself.
you told naomi your feelings on the matter and they immediately agreed, no questions asked. they were ready to show you off and not have to hide. you suggested doing it during your next show, and like anon said, naomi is just like “whatever my princess wants, she gets!!! anything for her!!”
you quickly put your plan into motion. you decided your surprise song for the next show would be “you are in love” from 1989. it perfectly described how you felt about naomi. you came up with some ideas for the speech you would give before hand and it went something like this…
“the next song that i’m going to play is one that i haven’t performed in so long. i wrote it about someone who i thought was going to be my forever, but it just didn’t end up that way and it left me with some sad memories. i have never felt the need to play this song since then, but now everything has changed. even if i originally wrote this about someone else, my partner renewed it into something so pure and now has a reason to exist again. i love you.”
the camera doesn’t pan to naomi just yet, since you wanted to build suspense. for dramatic effect, of course. but jo and katie make sure to get their reaction on video. it’s just naomi basically happy crying and laughing with tears under their eyes. even when you guys are a whole stadium apart, the invisible string between you is there.
when it was finally time for the last era of songs, from midnights, you were planning to do a lyric swap in “karma.” the actual lyric was “karma is my girlfriend,” but obviously naomi was not a girl and the song originally wasn’t written about them, you planned to change it to something that made you happier. when the time came to sing “karma,” you looked right into the vip section where naomi was and sang “karma is my baby on the screen, coming straight home to me!” cut to the camera panning to naomi and they’re just giddy, laughing and crying all at the same time. when you told them you were going to make it official, this is definitely not how they imagined it, but they weren’t complaining.
you just wanted to show the world your love for them and honestly didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. the two of you just existed in your own little bubble, feeling like you were just singing to them.
after the show was over and naomi practically sprinted backstage, their beaming smile lit up the room as they saw you. they pulled you in for a fierce hug and pressed gentle kisses to your forehead.
“that was the sweetest thing in the entire world, baby. i love you so much.”
“so you liked it? it wasn’t too much?”
“never. that was, like, magical. can’t believe you did all that for me.”
“i’d do anything for you, nom.”
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© bitethehnd
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ressonancee · 3 months
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I THINK WE MARRIED IN VEGAS
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✷ You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.
✷ genre: comedy (?), angst, smut (minors don't interact)
✷ word count: 28.244
✷ featuring: Yoon Ttoram, Choi Seungcheol, Lee Seokmin, Kim Mingyu as the unnamed satan-spit roommate one night stand, and Xu Minghao as the gothic impasto painter guy. 
✷ thea’s note: hey y’all this is my longest fic yet so I’m weirdly proud. I had fun writing this and trying to figure out how to build this Jeonghan and yes I did rewatched the birth of Ttoram while writing this. By the way - love you guys but the whole credit/debt/buying a house is just for plot I do not know how any of this works in America (and it is mainly set in America because I needed Vegas lol) <3 So bear with it. Also thanks to @wongyuuu for keeping me company in this nanowimo challenge, and thaks to @toruro Mika you are the best <3 thank you for reading this 
✷ Smut warnings under the read more ✷
✷ smut count: lost count of how many times Jeonghan thought he was going to cum on his pant, 1 dick sucked, teenagers level of horniness, non penetrative sex still sex, a lot of kissing, a 3 second of cumplay still a cumplay i guess. 
"Should we do it?" you hear Jeonghan ask, his face focused on something outside the car’s window. The lights of all the neon signs dance on his face and features—like a scene from a movie. He looks tired and overworked even though you are somewhat on vacation.
"Do what?" you ask, trying to understand what he meant. Maybe he was talking about a hotel spa and you missed the beginning of the sentence because you were too lost in your own thoughts? Yeah, a message would be a lifesaver right now.
"That," he says, pointing at one of the hundreds of little chapels in Las Vegas. This one has a deal sign in big and bold letters—an Elvis Presley priest, a bouquet, a professional photographer, and a bottle of champagne for half the price. Well, you never thought about off-season in Vegas, but maybe business was a little rough at this time of the year, but to be quite honest that did seem like a great deal—the shopaholic in you would fall for it if it didn’t involve marriage.
"Are you drunk already?" you ask. Even though you have known the man for years, you still can’t read Jeonghan properly.
Sometimes you think about how he is a book that is written in a different language, and you couldn’t have access to him without a dictionary on the side. Jeonghan does look like a classic—he is well put together, he is fancy, and he would be one of those books that have an embellished spine—the prettiest book on your bookshelf. But at the same time, he is one of those books that need commentaries on every page because somehow the author didn't care about giving enough context or didn't think his work would survive so many years. And one that the storylines end up being totally fucked up, so basically a Russian classical.
"No, I'm painfully sober," Jeonghan says while leaning his head on the window of the car. It almost makes you laugh when you hear the loud sound of him bumping his head, even the Uber driver who didn’t utter a word turns his head back. "It's just," he starts again, "I heard Seungcheol talking about it, and it seems nice to be married."
"What are you talking about?” you say in disbelief,  “Seungcheol is not married yet, he is having a bachelor party in Vegas. He is drinking his weight in alcohol and spending the college tuition of his firstborn in the casino. You and him know about the same thing about marriage, which equals barely anything."
“Yeah but he did talk about all the perks—Oh thank you,” he notices that the Uber finally arrived at the hotel feat casino and all the Vegas shenanigans. Jeonghan holds the car door for you, like a true gentleman—you almost scoff. “What I was trying to say is, Seungcheol did talk to me about being married, it doesn’t feel like a bad deal at all.” Again, he holds the door for you.
“So we should just get married in Vegas because Seungcheol said it is a great deal?” you ask Jeonghan like he said the stupidest thing ever, which is partially true. It was one of the stupidest things he’d ever said to you, and you’ve known the man for years—you’ve witnessed a fair  amount of his stupidity, all laced with his all-knowing smile. Every time you tried to understand what he was talking about it always left you feeling like this man was insane.
“I mean? What would you lose?” Jeonghan asked, crossing his arms after pushing the elevator buttons—one for your room, the other one so the door closes faster (he is one of those people).
“A lot?” you say almost laughing. What the fuck? It resonates in your mind, almost like the words are bumping the walls of your cranium, like the old Windows 98 screensaver logo.
“Yeah? Like what?” Jeonghan asks and the ping of the elevator makes sure both of you know that it arrived before opening the door.
“Freedom,” you say, trying to stay normal and not succumb to Jeonghan—you both hear someone saying,“Hold!” across the hall. Jeonghan just smiles and clicks the button to close the door. Maniac really, without basic education. To be fair though, it was a frat dude with another frat dude who could wait for the next elevator without dying, but still.
“Come on, you are a book editor. You love everything that has nothing to do with freedom, you love rules and everything that shackles you.” You scoff hearing Jeonghan’s words.
You want to argue, you want to kick and scream and pick a fight because is he basically calling you boring right? He is totally calling you the most boring person he’s ever met, and you are in Vegas - and still, somehow, you are the boring girl. But he is right about it—you do not leave your comfort zone, you do not do crazy very well, and you don’t even drink that much because losing control of situations makes you slightly insane. And Jeonghan is right because he is one of your closest friends, and you talked about it with him, he even knows how this is a recurrent topic in your therapy. Asshole.
“Well, still don’t give me the urge to marry you, your sales points are awful—how do you hold your job?” You ask side eyeing your friend, well, if you wanted to marry someone calling them boring is not the right way to do it.
“I do a better job when I need to sell to investors, I’m not giving my all right now since you are not paying me,” Jeonghan says, leaving the elevator and looking back at you. Well, not giving your all when you are asking someone for marriage - number two mistake.
“I’d hope so, otherwise your name would be number one in the next layoff,” you say rolling your eyes.
“Come on,” Jeonghan scoffs. “You didn’t hear Seungcheol talking about the benefits," he says, opening the door to your shared hotel door. The deal was to sleep in a weird hotel that may have bedbugs or share a room and a bed with Jeonghan in a more upscale hotel whose bathroom didn’t look like a crime scene. Not a difficult decision, to be quite honest.
“Is Seungcheol now a pro-marriage coach?” you ask, taking off your shoes and leaving your bag on the nearest chair.
“Probably, I mean, the side money would be crazy,” he says, taking off his watch and leaning against the table, again crossing his arms. “What I meant is did you ever think about the tax deduction, health insurance benefits, leave benefits? Also, Seungcheol did remind me that the bank raises the chance of getting approved credits if the spouse has a great credit history.” 
“Yet he is the one marrying because he loves his girlfriend,” you remind Jeonghan, because apparently he is forgetting one the key ingredients of marriage in contemporary societies - love, affection, and a dose of “I love you but leaving with you every time you forget the toothpaste open is making me thinking about how life in hell would look like.”
“Right,” Jeonghan scoffs, making you even more curious.
“What would you need credits for?” you ask. Jeonghan is an unmarried and childless man, who works on investments, travels twice a year, and has a car. You on the other hand work in a crumbling industry - books, who reads books? - don’t travel a lot and your car is like twelve years old.
“Marry me and I tell you,” Jeonghan answered without letting the ball drop, quick on his feet like always, you could never catch this man.
“Tell me and I will think about it,” You try to pry.
“A house.” He says earnestly.
Again - you know Jeonghan, and you know your friend is a lunatic, but you also know when he is being completely honest with you. The man did want that house, which was completely weird. Jeonghan was a city guy, he was living in a rented apartment sure, but it was a great apartment, it even had a view. He worked downtown, why would he need a house?
“A house?” You try again, trying to get more details of what the heck is making your friend go crazy out of a sudden.
“Yeah, a house.” He says shrugging like it is the most common thing ever, maybe it is a well-known scheme of marrying for taxes and credits that you don’t know, maybe you are late. Maybe you are outdated putting together marriage and love in the same sentence, maybe, the world has changed. “Will you marry me?” Jeonghan asks you in his dullest voice ever like he is tired and completely bored.
“No.” You deadpan.
“Come on, at least pretend that you are thinking about it,” Jeonghan says, lying on the bed horizontally, his face is now closer to you and his legs are too big so they hang out of the bed, like a kid almost. “It has four bedrooms so you can move and say fuck you to Laurel the accountability girl.”
Well, that makes you think about it. He should have started with that. Maybe if he just proposed a new roommate scheme you would’ve said yes in the uber.
“I don't hate her that much,” you lied through your teeth, you hated that girl. You blamed the real state crisis because the rent was crazy, sharing the apartment was a good deal on paper, and half of the rent money went to your savings account so you could live in peace - Jeonghan actually advised you on how to save and where to invest if you wanted to retire quickly, but you never really thought about buying shares and selling shares and the whole ordeal.
“Fuck you,” He laughs, “every week I have to hear you complain how she lets food go bad and how it leaves your fridge stinky enough to make you almost puke, and that only happens when she doesn't food go bad on the kitchen counter or wait, do you remember when she forgets to lock the door two times last week?”
“Well, I am sorry if I have listened to true crimes podcast enough to be actually aware of the horrors of being a woman and how serial killers are out there just waiting for you to sleep with the fucking door open,” you say like you are the most reasonable person ever.
“And you are right, what I am saying is that I would lock the door so no one can enter the house, I would be a better roommate.”  
“Sure we do not have to marry to be roommates we can look for suitable places in our price range,”
“Look at this,” Yoon Jeonghan says, fiddling with his phone, “It has four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, the kitchen is great, it has a backyard and a solarium.”
“Fuck-”  You say, sitting on the bed, your thigh close enough to his arm that you feel the warmth of his skin, “that’s, that's crazy.” 
“I know,” he says turning on the bed and closing his hand on his stomach like he is dead, just staring at the ceiling, “The price is not bad either, one of my clients is trying to sell so he can invest in a new startup so it is not actually in the market right now but will be in a few weeks so-”
“Did you try to get the loan?”  You ask, finger still going on his phone looking at different pics of this completely perfect house. All the rooms were big, and with natural light - crazy. The Solarium looked like a thing out of this world. And you could see yourself living there, if you had enough money you could live the dream, but that house was just out of your price range. God, with that garden you could have a dog. Damn.
“I don't want to pay interest to a bank,” Jeonghan almost whines, because he knows how this whole thing works and how he would have to pay the loan and half of the loan because banks are greedy bastards.
“Can I have two bedrooms?”
“What do you need two bedrooms for?” Jeonghan asks, finally looking at you and dropping his i-am-almost-dead act.
“My room, one office,” you explain. You know the office would be the one with two larger windows facing the garden. Oh what a joy - to build a life you would never live, it was indeed one of your favorite hobbies, maybe that’s why you love books so much.
“Ok, I guess. I can make something out of the basement.” Jeonghan replies nonchalantly making you laugh.
Maybe that’s why you two were friends, you had a great time speaking nonsense to one another. You both just kept feeding into whatever fantasy you built, like reality could not touch everything. You and Jeonghan had this weird pattern of just sitting, eating and talking for hours and hours about whatever that had nothing to do with the truth. What would you do if you won the lottery? What would you do when you retire? What would you do if you woke up on a desert island? What would you do if your boss was imprisoned for embezzlement? Ok not the last one, scratch that, this one actually happened.
“I can give you 5% of the price tag, and we can share the loan if it matches my current rent price range, but we need to actually draft something with a lawyer later so we can only sell the house to ourselves, I don’t trust you enough to buy this house without a lawyer on my side.”
“Dude-” Jeonghan jerks on the bed, he sits and turns his body to face you. “Wait, do you hate Laurel that much?”
“Yoon Jeonghan, do you want a marriage to up your credit score or what? I paid my student loans in record time, the banks love me.” 
“I don’t know if you are joking or not,” He tells you. 
"Can you call room service?" You ask heading to the bathroom, while you tie your hair - like you are preparing yourself for a dire work task - maybe talk to a translator about a deadline, they are worse than writers, "I think we will need more alcohol." 
"Wait," you hear Jeonghan's voice echo through the door, "are we actually gonna do it?" 
You are joking. 
And you know Jeonghan was too. With the years of knowing him, you knew that the majority of things that left Jeonghan's mouth had a shock value purpose. Induce distress first, we talk about truth later - or never. That made you 100% sure that you would never marry that man. You knew him enough - twelve years, since high school. He knew you as well - he knew all your teenage traumas, all of your romance fiasco, and he met all of your exes. 
You would never, never, marry that man.
Right?
Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
When you open your eyes and the white ceiling greets you, you can hear yourself groaning almost involuntarily. Your head aches. You know you will regret everything that happened the night before, even though you don't know what actually happened, and what you need to hold yourself accountable for. But you know the taste of a life-changing hangover that has a side dish of regret and a cup of shame to go. But it couldn’t possibly be so bad right?
Ok, maybe moving your body was not the very first thing to do. You try to open your eyes again. Well, at least you were in your own hotel room. Jeonghan is by your side, his arm across your stomach and somehow his face is near your armpit. You try to sniffle yourself, but so far doesn't like you are actually stinky. Your deodorant was doing a great job so far, maybe it actually has a 24-hour action or something like that.
You try to lift yourself up, sitting in the bed, head in hand because everything spins. Oh God help you. Besides the headache you feel sticky and sweaty, and all gross. You can't believe you didn't shower, and if you didn't shower you didn't take your makeup off, and if you didn't take your makeup off you totally threw your 43-day steak of doing your skincare routine. Fuck. Maybe you could just delete the app, or pretend that yesterday never happened. Deal with the blank day that screams how bad you fucked up was not an option though, it would never happen.
“What the fuck did we drink?” You hear Jeonghan's hoarse voice. You take the hands off your eyes, the clarity feels like punching your cornea and brain, and Jeonghan's state is not very different from yours, his shirt is open and ruffled, his arms are shielding his eyes from the light entering the room, his hair is messy and he looks like he needed four days of sleep.
“Fuel? Petrol? Satan spit in a cup?” You answer dropping yourself on the bed again, every joint of your body aches. It is ridiculous how you feel trapped in a 90 years old body, and like that is not enough you feel nauseated beyond words. And every time you can feel and hear Jeonghan breathing it feels like it is piercing your skull, would be rude to ask your friend to stop breathing and just stay completely still? He would understand, right?
“Do you think room service can get us some painkillers?” He groans lifting himself up this time, “Or maybe a gun?”
“Can you call them? I think I will puke if I sit for more than half a minute,” you say, your hand going into your mouth as if it would actually help if the worst-case scenario happened.
“I think I can, the problem is that you need to get me the phone,” Jeonghan tells you groaning between words. His hand points to the object and there is no way in hell you are moving to get that, that would mean you getting up and turning and being alive altogether.
“I can't I told you I gonna puke,” you try to explain how serious your condition - also known as hangover - is.
“It is by your side of the bed" He groans again and yet he sounds just like a petulant child, maybe it is a gift.
“I can't I will puke on the carpet it only makes things worse,” you try again, “or worse I can puke on the bed, you included in the radio of the vomit you know it splashes.”
“Ok, stand still,” Jeonghan says, “don't kick me, I'm doing it for both of us”
And you do as you are told because being still right now is the only thing you can do - even moving your eyeballs seems too much right. So Jeonghan just dropped his body on top of yours, he is also sweaty, and he reeks of alcohol. Damn, he actually smells like gasoline. He picks up the phone and presses a few buttons. His body is still above yours, pressing into you.
“Be quick you are pressing my blade," you say after the surprise of having him against you fazes out.
“What the fuck do you need to pee or vomit? Ah yes, hello,” He says changing his voice in the middle of the sentence from something that says intimacy is a disease to his customer service voice without pausing, “hm do you guys have room service that includes painkillers?” He waits, nodding his head as he hears something before he remembers his on the telephone. “Oh okay, thank you, can you send it? Oh yeah great, yes if you can do that, yes, pancakes, toasts with poached eggs and avocado, coffee hmm” he thinks about it, looks at you, thinks about a second or two, and then adds, “Can you send us four cups of coffee? Thank you.”
Jeonghan finishes the call with a groan leaving his mouth, he places the phone on its holder. But when you think he will get himself off of you he only plops down, his body weight getting heavier. His bones poking your body, what the fuck he was doing with your elbow on your ribcage?
“Jeonghan what the fuck-" You complain, trying to kick your legs in a vain attempt to make your friend move.
“I got us painkillers and food, let me recharge for a bit stop complaining,” Jeonghan says in a dead tone of voice, almost like he is dealing with a kid throwing some type of tantrum - the only thing is that, in this occasion, the child is you and somehow you want to kick his shin, because you are the one right in this situation, and you could totally just plop down in a mall disgusting floor if Yoon Jeonghan was your father too.
“You are heavy!” You try again but somehow Jeonghan is stronger than you think and his body is still over yours like nothing is happening, maybe you are just dehydrated and fucking muscle-less, maybe the yoga wasn’t doing much when you almost killed your liver.
“I am not,” Jeonghan says, now he is the one being the moody child in the supermarket, maybe he will go off without parental supervision. Oh wait, this was Yoon Jeonghan he actually did wander away when he was out about with his parent and ended up three blocks away just because he saw an ice cream truck. Jeonghan was the easiest kid to be kidnapped, you ask yourself how he ended up being safe and sound, and in one piece.
“Just because you are skinny it doesn’t mean you aren’t heavy.” You try again pushing on Jeonghan bony shoulder, even that is pointy. “bones are heavy too, get off of me!”
“You kind of stink," Jeonghan says, his head still lodged in the space between your neck and shoulder.
“Well you asshole you are not better yourself, and you are stinky too and sticky like you showered in bear or something.”
“Maybe I did, I don’t know I can't actually think,” He groans finally trying to lift himself up, “We should shower,” he says sitting on the bed and looking down at you.
“You go first,” both of you say at the same time
You end up going first. Mainly because you needed to pee and you think that once you are up you may as well just use the opportunity to shower otherwise you would just drop dead on the floor and never get up again - you will be stinky and gross forever. Also, you think that if hell breaks loose and Jeonghan actually pukes you at least already used the shower. Back in college, he puked on the sink because it was the closest thing to the door, or whatever poor excuse he came up with, and that scene still haunts you, because somehow the sink was clogged. Ew, you think, finishing peeing and wiping yourself up. You wash your hands and say thank you for your past self because your necessaire is splayed on the counter, you pick up your face wash and head to the shower. Ok, let's deal with it. You need to wash your hair too. You open the register, letting the water hit your foot in an attempt to get just the perfect temperature.
You close and open the registers a few times - to fix the temperature, but you not gonna lie, to make up your mind too. But when you let the water hit your face - in an almost drowning attempt, you know you made the right decision, shower first was the only option. You let the water wash away for a few minutes until you are ready to really start your shower. First step - wash your face. Well, you needed to buy a new face wash this one was in its last few stages of life, you close your eyes and start to rub against your skin, normal, until you few something slightly different on your hand - almost like scratching the skin, you open your eyes and you finally notice, a band on your finger.
You turn your hand and it finally hits you.
It is a ring.
With a big rock.
In your ring finger.
A big damn rock on your ring finger.
“Yoon Jeonghan” you scream in horror.
On the other side of that door, Jeonghan just hears you scream. He actually picks himself up in record time and room towards the bathroom, oh shit did you just fall and hit your head? Did you break the glass of the fancy hotel shower? Are you dying? So without thinking much Jeonghan opens the bathroom door and he just finds you - completely naked and seemly okay, just staring at your own hand.
“What happened?” He asks trying to catch his own breath, maybe he does need to start working out man, he didn’t feel this horrible when he was hitting the gym after shifts, but also he didn’t feel that great either the whole gym rat thing was not his ordeal.
“What did we do?” You ask still in complete horror, not even thinking about how this is the first time Yoon Jeonghan, your friend is seeing you completely naked. 10/10 would not recommend this experience. Not even to Laurel, her satan spit roommate.
“What? Are you going crazy? I thought you fell and opened your skull or something,”
You just look at Jeonghan, dead in his eyes, like the reality is worse than falling in the bathroom, opening your skull and calling the paramedics naked. You just turn your hand to him - like it is enough to make him understand what a dire situation it is. And you swear to god you can almost see the little flakes of light on the bathroom floor, the rock is big enough to shine across the room.
“Did you call me to show me your ring? Couldn’t you wait until you put your clothes on?” Jeonghan asks leaning into the doorway.
“Jeonghan did we-” you say but you feel your own throat closing around itself, it can’t be right?
“Hm?” he asks without a blink of an eye.
“Oh we did, we totally did," you sighed, more to yourself than to Jeonghan.
“No, you are not that crazy,” he claimed. What is that even was supposed to mean? He was crazy enough for it but you the two goody shoes wasn’t?
“Jeonghan check your bank receipt,” you demanded, trying to connect the dots in a way, trying to find a physical proof, maybe you just bought a way too expensive ring for yourself, or maybe it was just impulse buying.
Before you can move Jeonghan almost runs towards the room, you try your best to keep up with him but you are a little behind because for the first time, you actually are aware of how naked you are. You pick up the fluffy bathroom robe - yeah the fancy hotel had its perks.
“Oh fuck” you can hear Jeonghan before you can see him, his phone it’s on his lap, his head is on his head - he is a man defeated.
“Did we?” You try to probe, but your voice sounds weird in your own ears - almost small, and the reality hits you, you are kinda scared. The reality of maybe having fucked up hits you like a trunk, you always been a nice girl, you never fucked up - at least not that bad, what would you mean if you married on a drunk whim?
“I think,” Jeonghan says, his hand on his greasy hair, fuck he needed a shower. “I think we fucked up real bad.”
You sit beside Jeonghan, you both staring at the wall ahead of you in disbelief. You are still gross, but now your damp hair is actually dropping on the bed and you can’t bring yourself to care. The fact that Jeonghan is motionless by your side without uttering a word is what freaks you out more. Jeonghan is not someone who is fazed so easily - his mouth is agape and his eyebrows furred, the ‘i-am-utterly-stressed’ Jeonghan feature is what freaks you out really.
“Ok Hannie,” you breathe softly. “That’s what we are going to do, I am going to shower, then you are going to shower, we gonna eat breakfast, then we are going to return this ring, then we are going to call Joshua, he is a lawyer, right? He probably will know what to do.”
“Joshua is a real estate lawyer,” Jeonghan mutters without blinking.
“Jeonghan focus!” You say getting out of bed, “divorce is a thing we don’t need to stay married.”
You take one of the longest showers in human history. You needed a good shower, but, the majority of the time under the shower you think about how the hell you got so drunk to marry Jeonghan. Some flashes of memory blink on the forefront of your mind every time you blink; a vegas chapel, not an Elvis but an Elton John in front of you, Jeonghan picking one of the most expensive ring in a fancy story. How the fuck fancy jewelry runs for twenty four hours?
Every flash comes with a sharp pain, the fucking headache.
When you get out of the bathroom the breakfast is already in the room. You take a bit of egg and toast just so you can shove coffee down your throat without having to deal with the stomach pain. You search the ring case and don’t find anywhere, maybe it is safe on Jeonghan’s thing, maybe he kept it safe, or you hope so. When you sit on the bed you stare down the ring, it is a beautiful ring and you are pretty sure it is something Jeonghan chose, it is beautiful, but at the same time, it is just too much.
You need to return it, no doubt about it.
You try to take the ring one and somehow it doesn’t even budge. You scoff, what a tricky little thing. So you try again, and again the thing doesn’t move. You can feel the drop in your blood pressure, what the heck? You lost track of the time when Jeonghan opened the bathroom door and you looked at him in shock, you look down at your red and bloated finger.
“This shit is stuck in my finger?” You say trying to take off one final time before just breaking your finger.
“Well, I think this is a good time to tell you,” he starts his voice all weird and over the place, “I kinda fucked up.”
“Jeonghan we are apparently married I already know we fucked everything up.”
“No, I-” Jeonghan begins, his hands now going through his washed hair, still wet and dripping on the floor, “I found a shred receipt and an invoice.”
“What the fuck?” You almost yell in pure knee-jerk reaction.
“I think it is yours now?” Jeonghan shrugs, like it is not a big deal even though you know that this ring is expensive, it must be, it has a giant rock and even though you know close to nothing about jewelry it looks expensive.
“What happened to us?” You question.
“You ask me? You don't remember anything?" Jeonghan says sincerely, and you know it is true. Jeonghan was kind of a prankster, he kinda did push people to its limit, but part of it was just doing fun things but also harmless shit. Like entering the beach at night, or hiding someone’s phone and pretending they did leave in the hotel so they can enjoy the trip without being bombarded by their special someone - read Seungcheol yesterday at lunch.
“Can we call Joshua?”
“I think we can do that later,” Jeonghan checks his watch, “I think it would be wiser just to show up to Seungcheol’s lunch and pretend that mini golf is fun, it would bring suspicious otherwise.”
“Jeonghan we married we didn’t commit a crime,” you say looking at him in disbelief.
“Do you want to deal with Seungcheol’s monologue about us getting married? I don’t think I want to deal with that with a killer hangover after a wedding walk of shame in fucking Las Vegas,” he drops. And God, that really sounds like a nightmare.
“Yeah,” you say looking at the big rock on your thing, “you are right, but we should probably still call Joshua,”
“I told you he is a real state lawyer didn’t I?” He says almost rudely to you, and you want to say that if you two are married both of you said yes it is not like you are the only one responsible for it but you try not to push his buttons.
“And what is your option Jeonghan?”
“I’m thinking about just getting drunk again so I can forget everything that is happening right now.”
What a fucking great idea.
Seungcheol is one of Jeonghan’s closest friends from college. Seungcheol just became your friend because you and Jeonghan were weirdly bound at the hip. You both shared your high school years, and when you two enrolled at the same university you only had two options, pretend you two didn’t know each other, or become conjoined twins. Jeonghan was a business major, you were enrolled in every class that had literature, poetry, or the name of a dead guy on it. But still, you and Seungcheol became great friends even though he is a finance guy. And Seungcheol was the reason you two were on a Vegas trip, the last trip of his life as an unmarried man, he had to make a sketchy deal with his fiancé in order to it to happen but still, according to him, it was worthy.
“Nice shot!” You hear Seungcheol's voice loud, bringing you back to reality. He is clapping as Seokmin - one of his other friends from work hits the ball down the hole.
Seungcheol’s voice, loud and clear, brings you back to reality.
Oh the joys of playing mini golf before lunch, you could spend days and days talking about how much you loved the idea and how every hole seems like a fucking nightmare but you are a married woman. Needless to say this whole situation wasn’t in your 2023 bingo card. You don’t pay attention when it is Jeonghan or Seungcheol’s turn, you wait until you have to put the ball in the hole, it probably takes you double the time, and then it starts again, ad infinitum. At least they are kind enough to not pressure you to perform like Tiger Woods or something.
You think about Jeonghan though. Somehow, he hasn’t changed. Jeonghan was the same Jeonghan you met in high school, of course, he matured and the years turned into baggage, but Jeonghan was still your friend who was playful enough to get married on a whim. Jeonghan was everything you weren’t in a way, somewhat playful and carefree, and still a very practical human being. Jeonghan was mischievous, but yet, not even once, he pushed you until you couldn’t take it, and that makes you think that somehow, with an unknown reason, in your drunk stupor, you wanted to marry Jeonghan, because hell can break loose, the skies can fall, but Jeonghan would never make you do something you did not want to do.
While Jeonghan and Seungcheol are busy hitting those tiny balls Seokmin stops by your side. You like Seokmin, Seokmin is kind, and you constantly think about how he is surviving the finance world, he doesn’t seem cut to it, but somehow he manages to stay alive against the monsters of capitalism, or, worse, he stays alive feed the monsters of capitalism. Ew. Seokmin’s face though seems focused on another thing, he looks in shock and happy at the same time, he probably did the whole hole in less than three shots you think.
“Oh my god,” He almost screams making you jolt in place, in all truth that was pretty much a common occurrence when your day to day involved Seokmin.
“Hm?” You question puzzled, looking at him trying to find a clue of something behind his feature when Jeonghan and Seungcheol finally join the two of you on the sideline.
“What is that?” Seokmin asks and you still without a fucking clue of what he is talking about. “Damn,” he says with his big smile across his face, making the tip of his nose get even more pronounced, “are you guys planning a surprise and I just ruined it?” His face changes in a blink of an eye.
“What surprise?” Jeonghan questions taking a drink of his gatorade like he was in the middle of an excruciating sport and not fucking mini golf after an unsafe amount of alcohol.
“That thing!” Seokmin cheered, and then it downs on you - the big ass ring on your hand, propped on the golf putter, and before you can hide it or chop your hand off the three man in your sight is eying the big damn rock that you forgot about,
“The what?” Seungcheol blurted.
“This is an engagement ring right?” Seokmin asks and you think about an ostrich, putting its head on the ground, you think you can do the same in one of the circuit's holes.
“No, it isn’t, how the hell they are engaged when they aren’t dating?” Seungcheol scoffs, acting like Seokmin is saying something that doesn't make sense, something that happened numerous times before, it could be happening again. It was happening again, at least to Seungcheol.
“We saw that one when we were looking for your fiancée present though,” Seokmin says all pouty and confused, and you think you almost try to defend his point of view as you always do, just because he is cute.
“It isn’t an engagement right?” Seungcheol asks
“It would be weird to be an engagement ring,” Jeonghan acknowledged the absurdity that envelopes the situation that you two are in, you want to try to take off the ring and just throw it across the field of mini golf, but a) it looked extra expensive, b) the three guys didn't even blink looking at your hand.
“Did you buy for aesthetic proposal?” Seokmin asks, "A girl that works with the human resources team did buy one just because she thought it was pretty."
“Of course,” Seungcheol claps, “I mean fashion was never your strong suit,” He says and it almost feels like a jab, “I almost brought that one, Jeonghan was dead set on this, saying it was the ring, but it was a bit on the expensive side”
“How expensive are we talking about?” You try to pry your body from reacting physically to the fact that Jeonghan shredded a fucking invoice and receipt, and the fact that even Seungcheol - the guy who buys twelves tumblers just because it was cute and ends up giving them away finds that expensive sets a new parameter of money waste.
“You didn’t check the price?" Seokmin asks, when you remain silent he continues, “Wow be you must be nice, balling and shit."
“How expensive are we talking about Seungcheol?” You try again, "Seokmin?" If you can’t return this damn thing at least you can try to sell it later. If you can’t find someone who can buy this you can sell for those weird and sketchy stores but you need to know how much you are actually losing on the deal, well, not you, Jeonghan but still, if you know the man he will just accept his fate and never move a muscle to deal with this ring situation.
“You really didn't check the price hun?” Seungcheol questions raising his eyebrow, like he always did when he couldn’t quite believe in you and it always made you feel angry with him. It was a tale almost, even when you were telling the truth he always raised that eyebrow questioning you, making you explain yourself.
“I brought the ring,” Jeonghan says nonchalantly like he is saying that he brought the bread on his way home. Jeonghan had this thing, a completely loath to let other people know his truest feelings. Even if he was one step away from a panic attack he would not tell you.
“Why would you do that?” Seungcheol asks again his voice is two tones higher, and you feel like he is questioning the two of you, and in his own mind he is the bad cop in the situation - Seungcheol liked that type of shit, and you think that maybe he is so into that because Jeonghan is his polar opposite, never giving Seungcheol a reaction.
“I told you I thought it was a beautiful ring man,” Jeonghan deadpans and take his fingers to move his bangs out of his eyes - making him look like a fucking prick, looking down at everyone else, and you know that just tickles something in Seungcheol. “What I am trying to say,” Jeonghan tries again, “is that the ring It is not an engagement ring because I didn’t ask her to marry me yet,” Jeonghan says walking by your side and enveloping your shoulder in an awkward hug. “I just confessed my feelings, it might be over the top a bit but you guys know I just had my eye on the ring.”
“Dude! Finally!” Seokmin says hugging Jeonghan, and you almost feel yourself choking on air.
When Jeonghan is free he whispers against your ear, his breath on your skin making you shrink, “Just bear with it.”
“What?” Seungcheol asks “Out of nowhere, you confessed your feelings? With an engagement ring?”
“Not an engagement ring Seungcheol we won't crash your wedding, relax,” Jeonghan says again, rolling his eyes.
“How much it was?” You try again dead set on finding out how much that was, apparently a new hyper-fixation.
“Babe,” Jeonghan says looking at you with a mischievous smile across his face, “it is not polite to talk about the price tag”
“What the hell I am watching right now?” Seungcheol bristled, more in anger than in frustration.
“It was long overdue really,” Seokmin gushed, in a terrible contrast to Seungcheol’s features, his voice is loud and his big smile stretches across his face, “I thought it was so fucking weird you two sharing a hotel room with the excuse of saving money, like we know Jeonghan has money,” Seokmin points to the ring, making your skin crawl.
“We are returning this,” you tell Jeonghan, your voice low while elbowing his ribs.
“Baby I told you,” Jeonghan appealed, grabbing your shoulder “We can’t do that”
“Like I personally found you guys always so weird like, I think I even asked Seungcheol if you guys were married in the past because you guys are really,” he moves his hands in a weird move in a way to mean how close you always had been, “like truly crazy and then I asked Seungcheol and he was like it is never gonna happen and I was like-"
And Seokmin goes on for about a good five minutes about how he thought the two of you were a couple, and in a way, you were so used to it that it didn't even startle you. The problem was that Seokmin truly believed Jeonghan’s lies, one thing was to think that you two were in a relationship - everyone had this basic reaction since the two were in college, even one of Jeonghan’s ex-girlfriend thought of, one of your coworkers too, Jeonghan’s door to door neighbors too, almost every single soul you two met. That alone was something you began to understand, yeah you and Jeonghan had a weird level of intimacy.
 If you mash together your college years you can sum up in - of course, we do not date, of course, you can go ahead and kiss him in this horrible pub, oh yeas I am living in his dorm at ungodly hours just because we decided to binge watch a docuseries, oh if I am wearing Jeonghan's clothes? Haha He saved my ass because I doped the coffee on my clothes - ps. The coffee didn't exist, and his girlfriend did break things up a week later, Jeonghan swore it wasn't because of you. Once one guy broke up with you because when he smelled you he could recognize Jeonghan's smell on you, Jeonghan toke as his duty to just fuck up with that guy's mind for a whole month. He told you over and over again that the guy was wrong and basically called you a cheater, so you might as well plant enough evidence to give them the mental image - Jeonghan planted underwear on said guy's returning box, a note with his own handwriting with meet me in secret at the library, and even brought you a small dog plushie to put in the box and when you asked why he said 'he will think another guy gave you a present'.
Knowing Jeonghan and the fact that he loved shocking people this whole act today didn't really shock you, in the end, you were the only that understand Jeonghan, because you would never ever fall for this weird ass act. Your default reaction to anything Jeonghan related was a fair amount of mistrust.
“What are you two doing?” Seungcheol asks again, his voice is laced with suspicion and mistrust.
“Doing what?” Jeonghan asks, his hand going to your hair and placing it behind your ear.
“Whatever you guys are doing,” Seungcheol says pointing his fingers at the both of you, and you think it is dumb to even pretend something to Seungcheol, he knows you, he knows Jeonghan he knows nothing like that would even happen and you still don't know why Jeonghan is even trying to lie to him. 
“Jeonghan-” you whine, marrying in Vegas is indeed something that brings you shame and regret but lying to your friends is even worse, how would you deal with that later?
You think you would prefer listening to Seungcheol’s monologue about how both of you are completely crazy, unreasonable, and unreliable, all of that rings true now. And it was Seungcheol, he would end up knowing somehow, even if you didn’t tell him now, you both would end up telling him. This whole scheme would fall like a house of cards somehow. You couldn't knock on Seungcheol door and say haha we were kidding, but Jeonghan could, you would make him do it.
“Seungcheol that’s actually-”
“What are we supposed to believe that after what? A decade you just woke up brought a ring and confessed your feelings?” Seungcheol asks, raising his voice enough to make you look around the damn mini golf to see if anyone is insane enough to care about this damn scene, “When you are a commitment phobe who has been on my ass for the past several months?”
“Look man, can you just drop it?” Jeonghan asks again - in the same aloof way he uses when he wants to piss you off, almost like he is flirting with the idea of being a patronizing prick. 
“Of course not, what the hell,” Seungcheol says, his tone still on the angrier side  “You didn’t even remotely tell us about this."
“Yeah well some people can actually keep secret,” Jeonghan says bitterly.
“What was that supposed to mean?” Seungcheol questions and just by the tone of his voice you know that shit is going down, you have seen countless fights between the two to know that Seungcheol was on the edge.
“It means that I can actually keep my individuality as a human being because I don’t have a crazy girlfriend who has trust issues so I need to overshare everyone’s personal life because she thinks you can cheat on her every monday to friday man,” Jeonghan quipped. He was not the one who loved to fight, Jeonghan was actually someone who would just shrug and resolve the situation later when it came back to bite his ass, but damn when he wanted to fight he was ready for it.
“Damn,” Seokmin breathed.
“What the fuck Jeonghan,” You and Seungcheol say at the same time, both in disbelief.
“It is the truth, isn't it?” Jeonghan chastised, “Dude you are traveling with friends and somehow the whole lunch was about how your girlfriend was pissed that you actually brought a ring to placate how angry she was."
“Jeonghan stop talking.” you plead, holding his arms trying to get his attention, to make him stop before things end up in a point of no return. 
“Why?” Jeonghan asks you this time, eyes focused on you and not Seungcheol.
“Because you are being a fucking asshole now,” you say “This is Seungcheol bachelor’s party the man is getting married,” you try again like Seungcheol is not in the room.
“Oh you think I don’t know about that?" He says exasperated, "We are in Vegas and this motherfucker drink one beer and told us to go to our own hotel yesterday so we needed to get drunk and-”
“Jeonghan,” you say again almost like a kid tugging Jeonghan's by his shirt sleeve.
“We are in fucking Vegas and we didn’t visit one strip club and we are playing mini golf that something off about this whole trip,” Jeonghan says loudly chuckling at his own words.
“Are you seriously right now? You are going on a tirade against your friend because he doesn’t take you to strip clubs?” It is your time to act in disbelief - strip club? Seriously?
“Maybe if we were at a strip club yesterday,” Jeonghan says eying you.
“You know what?” Seungcheol speaks up. “Fuck you, you are uninvited by the way, you go on and on about how you don’t think I should marry, well, then you don’t need to show up.”
You and Jeonghan are left side by side on the mini golf field. Standing there while the world still moving around. You want to break out in laughter, you want to just laugh at how the two of your friends seem to wake up on the wrong foot, you want to knock Jeonghan's head off his shoulder, but you end up just walking to return to the damn golf club. 
The whole way to the hotel you and Jeonghan spend in complete silence, not one uttering a single word.
And apparently - now you are the one that wants to start a fight out of nowhere. You are the one that wants to scream about how Jeonghan was being an unreasonable asshole. You try to wrap your head around his reasons, about why he would act like that and nothing that comes up in your own brain seems right.
So when you both are back in the hotel room - now with new sheets thank god, and less alcohol smell you just ask in the most nonsubtle way you can, you hold your own waist and ask like he was a teenager throwing a rude tantrum, “What was that?”
“What?” Jeonghan asks taking his time to take off his jewelry, watch the first thing, and later necklace, if he had any bracelet would be the third step of his routine.
“The whole Seungcheol marriage thing?”
“Well, you don’t have to deal with him drunk every Friday night telling you how overwhelmed and how he feels trapped since they set the wedding date,” Jeonghan says shrugging. 
“You told me he was going on and on about how great marriage is,” you say sitting on the bed, trying to understand all the things you apparently didn't know about Jeonghan and Seungcheol.
“Yeah, he has his own list of cons in his note app," Jeonghan huffs, "every time he thinks about calling it off, I think I just memorized it because he reads more than once a day”
“Fuck,” you say in a breath. In your own mind, Seungcheol not even once doubted his choice to get married, not even once seemed unsure of his decision.
“I was the one that said Vegas," Jeonghan says sitting on your side, both of you looking at the widow that faces a fucking parking lot, "I thought that he would get drunk enough to actually mess everything up because he can’t do sober, and by mess everything up I mean breaking up with his crazy girlfriend."
“Yeah, still, you didn’t need to be a fucking asshole,” you say seriously this time trying to face him.
“Well, I panicked ok?" Jeonghan finally breaks, "I wasn’t going to tell that man who is having a daily mental breakdown that we married in fucking Vegas.”
“I mean, I don't know about you but I think your friendship with Seungcheol is more important than being lectured because you married in Vegas, Hannie,” you tell him softly, patting his thigh.
“Well,” Jeonghan says, letting his hand on top of yours, “I guess I can't be gracious always,” he says with a sad smile.
“I know you are stressed out," You say calmly, "but you lashed out at Seungcheol and it wasn't great,”
“The fuck you are defending him for?” Jeonghan says standing up and pretending he is searching for something in that damn room.
“Are you serious?”
“What?" Jeonghan chuckles, "he can go on and on about how I am a commitment-phobe type of guy who is fucked up enough to not have a fiancée like him and it is all good and fun and games? But when I call out his fucking weird relationship I am the bad guy?”
“Jeonghan,” You try but before you can even finish he cuts you.
“No, don't Jeonghan me, the fuck,” he retorted, “you have the excuse of not knowing because I don't tell you, you could think I am an asshole and a horrible boyfriend because every time someone breaks up with me even though I am a great catch,” he laughs bitterly, “You can do that, Seungcheol can't do that, he doesn't have an excuse, he knows why.”
“I never ever think about you like that,” you say sincerely because it is the truth, never once have you thought about Jeonghan being afraid of commitment or being a shit asshole. You always thought about how every girlfriend of his always looked and sounded more in love with him than the other way around, but that wasn't exactly a character flaw.
“I know,” he says already sounding exhausted.
“No I don't think you do,” you say sternly, “like it never crossed my mind really, I always thought about how they were crazy for letting you go, so what you don't want to marry someone? the fuck you can still have a great life and a great relationship with someone without a ring, and I know you are capable of it," and to your own ears you sound almost bitter, how they could be so dumb? To have a chance to have Jeonghan and let him go? “You have always been there for me, you never once wavered, I have no reason to ever think of you in that light and I don't think Seungcheol is being fair, he wasn't, but he is getting married in three weeks Han.”
“Yeah and I am telling him his girlfriend has been a freak since week two when she threw a fit because she was jealous of you,” Jeonghan says shocking you, "because according to her own crazy brain, you are way too close to men so who knows what you will do when she turns her back."
“Of me?” You say pointing at yourself, “Damn, she is crazy."
“That’s what I am trying to tell him, and he isn't fuck listening I guess.”
The whole afternoon you think about Jeonghan.
You think about him when he is lying in the bed on his cellphone, and you continuously think about him when you find him napping in the same bed. You think about everything you don't know about your friend, and you think about everything he doesn’t share with you, that he chooses not to. And you know every single human has secrets, and there are things Jeonghan doesn't know about you too. But knowing that it is one thing, dealing with the emotions that come with it is another thing altogether. Why he would not tell you? Why he would tell Seungcheol?
Those questions live in your brain, rattling and making sounds every time they crash against your skull. You think about your friendship as well. Jeonghan was always there for you. He was there when you had your first heartbreak in the third year of high school, he was there when Mark broke up with you in college, and he was there every step of the way. He was there when you were sick, he was there when your favorite auntie died, he was there when you were panicking before your first job interview, he was there. You just couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that someone would call a man like that a commitment phobe or break up with him.
And what he said was true in some way, Jeonghan never broke up with anyone, he was always the one who was dumped and weirdly okay with it. Every time you talked about someone who didn't know Jeonghan you always painted him as the perfect guy, and it was true - he had a great job and his bank account was crazy even though he worked to the capital devil, he was someone who ha they shit together too, he helped his parent, he helped his friend, his house was never messy.
Every time you broke up with someone you talked about how you wanted a guy just like Jeonghan, nice and fun, but also low maintenance in a way, someone you could just comfortable be being with, without having to try too hard and do too much. And every time you met someone new, you always trusted Jeonghan's opinion, if he vetoed someone he had his reasons, like the weird guy that two months later was on the news because he emptied someone's bank account because they let their bank account info saved on the computer or something like that.
If you thought about it - really being married to Jeonghan was not even close to the worst thing that happened to you. Founding a dead rat once in the subway was worse, or that time when you found out that your roommate left the door open for weeks before you just never went to sleep before her just so you could make sure to close the door, and 95% of the time she didn't close the fucking door, that was worse than being married to Jeonghan.
“The fuck?” Jeonghan groans.
“What?”
“Apparently I messaged my account manager our marriage certificate asking if he could officialize the house-buying proposal, and apparently the bank green flaged it? The owner needs to accept the proposal of course, and it may take a while but-" Jeonghan stops halfway, almost like zooming out, staring at the wall ahead of him.
“I guess you are soon to be a house owner?” You question bringing Jeonghan back to reality.
“No, no-"
“Seriously if it is something that is helping you I don't mind, we can come back to Vegas a few weeks after the deal to annul it I looked up online it is not that hard we just need the documentation and the wedding certificate so," and it was true - you did research how to deal with the whole thing, it seemed easy, maybe that's why they actually let people marry crazy drunk, so they can pay to annul it and the city double the revenue, apparently crazy amount of drinking and casinos were not paying the bill.
“About that,” Jeonghan says, his hands tugging the sides of his hair.
“About what?” You ask.
"The wedding certificate,” he says, finally looking at you, his eyes big and still puffy because of his nap, “I think, I mean- I am pretty sure it is shredded with the receipt and invoice."
“What the fuck Jeonghan?” You shout, oh man, you are going to kill this man. The image is already on your head - jumping on that very same bed like a crazy woman and kicking him before you just kill him with your bare hands.
“I know,” he says almost in a grunt, laying down like a starfish.
“Why did you shred everything up for god's sake," you say almost stopping on the floor.
“I don't know okay?" Jeonghan says, sitting on the bed now, his cellphone forgotten, "Why did we marry? Can you answer that?”
“OOh," you huff, "We did get married, but I am soon to be a window if I don't kill in the next five minutes I swear to god”
“Wait, what changed if it is helping me?” Jeonghan says, back to his mischievous self, with a small smile across his face almost finding endearing the way that you try to threaten his life.
“You are making everything argh-” You are losing your damn mind and if you end up crazy it is Jeonghan's fault, now that he is indeed your husband has another tingle to you like a thriller movie, but you are afraid you are in your own Cameron Diaz Ashton Kutcher low budget 00's movie. Maybe you should take the whole thriller movie, it seems, weirdly, less weird. "First we cannot return this ring now I have to find someone who wants to buy it without documentation so everyone will think this shit is totally fake, I mean I would too, don't get me wrong I wouldn't trust myself either with this jewelry," you go off - almost missing the point, rambling really, before you get back to the point, "now we need to find a second copy of this certificate I swear to god we could just go to the nearest courtroom and annul the wedding I googled it." 
"I already told you you can keep the ring," Jeonghan says - voice low in contrast to your high-pitched complaints.
"Why would I keep this ring Jeonghan?" You question, it sounds weird in your own ears.
The truth is, you did love the ring, it is a beautiful ring but the truth is - you can't keep it. It shouldn't be yours to keep. It should go to someone Jeonghan wants to actually marry, even though you can't bring yourself to take it off your finger, even though you didn't even try to take it off after this morning.
And a breath almost gets locked in your throat. Why? You think, and deep down you know you have your answer but you just shove everything down when you hear Jeonghan's voice, "Well If you sell it I won't take the money."
"I can just pour it into my savings accounts," you say petulantly.
"The fuck," Jeonghan bites back.
"What? You said you didn't want it so I can keep the money," You try your best to sound even close to someone somewhat rational in this matter.
"It is a present you can't sell a present," Jeonghan though, never has a problem looking like he is saying the most rational thing ever even when it doesn't make any sense.
"I totally can," you bite back trying to hold your ground just out of pure spite. He didn't accept that cursed ring which is not even supposed to be yours why the hell he is making such a big deal of you selling or throwing it in the sea?
"You can't," Jeonghan says again, and you think back to your friendship and a lot of times it was like that - a lot of things without proper explanations.
"Why not?" So you just hold your ground - again, he will not win this one, this time he will have to explain.
"Because it is a present I picked up for you. I actually thought about it, I mean before drinking buying apparently, but I thought it would suit you" Jeonghan says, "Just don't sell, if you don't want to use it okay fine but just, just don't sell it, don't hurt a man's pride like that,"
You want to try again - to say you will sell this damn ring if you go to the store and it can't be returned, and you want to say you will throw it on the nearest river because Las Vegas is indeed very far from the sea. You want to push him until he says okay I take the damn ring and I will hold onto it and pass it through generations. But when Jeonghan speaks and he sounds so tired and so hurt you just give up and lock yourself in the bathroom pretending to take a shower before leaving this hellhole of a place.
You look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how the hell everything happened in such a short amount of time. A marriage, a fight, a ring that makes you go crazy. Maybe you are closer to having a breakdown, maybe it is the time to face things that you are trying to keep hidden under the rug. You think that maybe it is time to just downpour everything.
But like always, you don't. You bottle everything up and pretend that everything is fine.
The last few days in Vegas have been less eventful, thanks God. Jeonghan and you go to weird restaurants and for a walk around the town, and you think about how you got married in the city of Sins.
At least it is fitting to think that pride and wrath have something to do with your own stay in this city.
You often think about Seungcheol, sending him and Seokmin a message or two, or a total of 15. Seokmin answers you, Seungcheol doesn't. And you need to hold yourself back when you type down a fuck you but don't send. You try to pry on Jeonghan's end too, but after the third time that he just doesn't answer you with words but just a cold stare you just let it go. Maybe that's why Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends for so long - pieces of the same cloth.
The flight back is not that tricky but at the same time when Jeonghan drops you out at your door, you are ready for a 30 minutes shower and drop dead for a whole week. When you open the door you are glad that your roommate at least remembered to close and lock the door. Character development you think, maybe she is getting better, maybe you don't need to actually move into Jeonghan's house as a safety precaution. But something doesn't seem quite right - there is a new sofa in the living room, which isn't exactly a problem, really, your sofa kinda sucked. But when you look again, you understand what is missing.
No, she didn't, she would not be that crazy. You refuse to believe that. You left all your luggage in the middle of the living room and ran to your bed, maybe she put the side table there, of course, maybe she just moved because the new sofa seems bigger. But there is nothing that resembles the side table in your room, so you try again - her room now, still nothing.
You send a message.
You try to call.
So you try the next best thing - call Jeonghan so he can calm you down. He doesn't pick up.  You sit on the floor, right beside your luggage, and you refuse to sit down on that sofa, it is pretty it seems comfortable but now is the object that you hate the most. You would prefer, I don't know, to take part in a scientific experiment that might fuck up your brain function than sit down on that thing.
The concept of time and space is a funny thing you think when you lose count of how many minutes or hours you have been staring at the door, it has been probably a long time. Until your roommate opens the door with a big guy by her side, great, all that you needed was an audience for your lash out.
"Oh," she says, big guy with his big hands on her hips and he knows he is not getting laid today, because he sees you and he gets so upright he seems like a fucking power pole, "I didn't know you would be back today."
"Laurel, darling, where is my side table?" You ask without beating around the bush.
"Oh right," she says letting her keys on the counter without fucking locking the door you have never been closer to a have a fucking stroke, you can feel your blood pressure rising, "the sofa was a bit bigger, you know I told you I was thinking about changing and this was on discount, but the table didn't really had a place in the room anymore so I put on marketplace a cute girl come up to pick in the same day, great right?"
You blink once, twice, and the words don't even come, you are so astonished that you are left speechless. Maybe you could get over the unsaid desire of getting murdered by a serial killer, and maybe you could get over the leftover food on the counter, and you could even get over the whole singing in the shower when you are fucking tone-deaf really.
But that. That was one thing you could never get over.
"Are you fucking insane? Are you fucking crazy?" You ask, the big guy taking a step back, "Or do you just have fun being the most self-centered bitch in this part of the country?"
"What the fuck?" She says, and oh god, you want to jump on her bones, you want to leave this woman bald.
"Did you ask Laurel?" You ask again, remaining sitting on the floor because if you pick yourself up you are probably no longer be a first-time offender. "Did you ever think about asking if you could sell, give or even create a fucking bonfire with the wood of my deceased auntie's side table? Did you fucking asked?"
"Oh I didn't know," she says simply. You feel the tears streaming down your face and you don't actually know if it is because of sadness or anger.
"So funny Laurel because I don't even fucking know how you function like a human being because your brain is so fucking empty of common sense really," you bristled, finally getting up and picking up your big backup, "Look I don't know how I don't care really, it is up to you, but you get my table back in perfect state, and you will pay this month rent fully because I am not living with you I would prefer Satan as my roommate really, and you may as well find another roommate because I will not move a muscle to put someone inside this apartment," You say moving past Laurel and the crazy big guy, "and by the way Laurel? I would fucking lock the door today you don't really think about how many insane people leave in this world."
You say finally get out of the apartment.
You don't really stop walking because you are afraid you will just fall on the ground, crying in the middle of the street in the fetal position, not really a pretty picture. You know Jeonghan's house is not really far, a twenty minute walk. You wish you had an epiphany when you see yourself at his door, a moment to say 'wow why am I here?'. But you know yourself enough to know why, you know Jeonghan enough to know why you are at his door.
You know Jeonghan will open the door for you, and you hope deep down that he will hunt Laurel-the-sattan-spit-roommate down.
When Jeonghan opens the door, he looks puzzled, his face shows that he is trying to understand what is happening. You are sure he was ready to say that he didn't order something and to check on his neighbor.
"What happened?" Jeonghan asks when he sees you on his door instead of a lost delivery guy.
"Laurel," you say, and before having the chance to say anything else, you already feel the pain, you don't want to cry but you end up doing that nonetheless. You even hiccup once or twice before you feel Jeonghan's arms against you, enveloping you, making you feel safe.
"What did she do?" Jeonghan tries again, one of his hands still around you, while the other cradles your head, his hand softly stroking your head.
"She sold my side table," you say, still hiccuping your way through the sentence and you feel so fucking dumb, crying in Jeonghan's arms, and you feel Jeonghan's body goes completely rigid before he holds your face in his hands and you almost flinch because you cannot face that man in this state, and second, his hands are cold.
"She sold your side table?" He asks and you just nod, it is the only thing you can do, "The side table?" He tries again just to receive the same reaction, his hands wrap around you, but this time he hugs you tighter, your head smashed against his chest and somehow you find a resemblance of comfort.
Jeonghan takes you to the kitchen, and when you feel his arms release you, you just sink to the ground, your back to the cabinets. Jeonghan hands you a cup of water, and hugs you again, his hands rubbing your back like you are some kind of a toddler, and that alone makes you sniff even more. That motion alone takes you back to your college days when you went back home to your auntie's funeral - Jeonghan drove the whole way, and the only sound inside the car was you crying. Back then you didn't know that Jeonghan lost an important exam so he could drive you back home, later when he was pilled with an ungodly amount of work and told you he needed to do an extra project so he didn't fluke his class you cried all over again - part of it because you felt guilty, part of it was because it was Jeonghan, and you could count on him for anything.
And here he was, years later taking care of you again. You never doubt he would, that alone - the certainty that Jeonghan is in your life should scare you, but it never did. Not now, and not even back in college when Seungcheol joked about every time a new girl showed up alongside Jeonghan. Somehow you knew that Jeonghan would be there if you needed him, if you ever shouted that man would run leaps. The thing was, Jeonghan never told you anything remotely close to make you believe that, he never promised you anything, but Jeonghan actions always reassured you that no matter what, he would be there if you needed him the most.
You think about it how - weirdly - you were never in that position, how you never once was that person to Jeonghan, the person that reassure Jeonghan or be someone he could lean on. There is a deep down desire that you don't quite acknowledge over the years - that you want to be someone important to Jeonghan. Someone as important as Jeonghan is to you.
When you feel you can finally breathe you get out of Jeonghan's hold to go to the bathroom, in a way searching a way to escape your own feelings and thoughts, pretending you just need to wash your face. When you return to the kitchen, Jeonghan is in the same place, sitting on the floor staring at his own hands. Now, calmer, you take the whole scene of the kitchen; the single glass of wine on the counter, the open bottle, Jeonghan's cellphone, and his notebook.
“Were you drinking?” You ask after a while, sitting on his sides and copying his positions - legs stretched and back flushed against the cabinets. The hiccups are still there but they’re less frequent now, and you can finally breathe on your own.
“Yeah I was,” Jeonghan says, stretching his legs and looking at his feet cladded with old socks.
Jeonghan thinks about the minutes before you arrived, how he was just scrolling on his phone and drinking alone because his mood was so dreadful that he didn't want to make anyone suffer in his company. The only person he would subject to a vent session was Seungcheol, so drinking alone was the only answer. The truth is plain and simple really - Jeonghan has been feeling miserable for quite some time now, mainly because even though it pays extremely well his job sucks. He works for and with shitty people, but it pays well, so that should be enough - why it isn't? But all of that seems so fucking small against the feeling of you losing the last physical thing of someone you loved, someone who was so important to you.
“Why were you drinking alone Jeonghan?” You ask, giving his thigh little taps but still looking ahead - you see yourself in the mirror, you are so swollen you can't face the man like that.
“I,” Jeonghan ponders, thinking about if it is the right time to just go on a tangent about how he works sucks, how his best friend isn't talking to him, and how he wants to go back to his high schooler self and just start everything over, even if he fucks everything over is way better than this gray area that he is stuck on. “We can talk about me another time,”
“Just," You breathe deeply, your head almost knocking against the counter door, "do it for me then,” you tell him softly, almost pleading, “tell me so I can take my mind off this shit.”
“I think,” Jeonghan says, “no, scratch that,” he laughs dryly, “I am sure that I am fucking miserable,” he looks at you waiting for your reaction, “and I’ve been miserable for a while, I just fucking hate everything,”
“Han-” you try to say, and you almost feel like you don't have tears anymore, but if you could physically cry you would.
“I am not depressed, don’t worry, I just,” he trails off, “I hate that fucking job and if I have to spend another year there I would probably kill a rich guy, I have a few investments, and I have savings, and I-”
“You should buy the house,” You blurt out, remembering Jeonghan's eyes looking at the pictures of the house.
“What?” Jeonghan says almost choking on nothing.
“You should buy the house, just give me one room and I will pay rent, we can share utilities and food, and then you can quit,” you declared like it was something people just do on a whim, like you are not even having a stroke just thinking about the process of ending your lease contract, but the sky can open you are not sharing another day in that apartment.
“Not a great deal when I have a fucking loan on my name,” Jeonghan bemused, almost laughing at your non-sense.
“Just don’t tell the bank,” you shrug.
“Well,” Jeonghan says, almost like he is trying to assess the situation, see how everything could plan out from different angles.
“Come on, tell me,” You say finally caving into your curiosity, poking Jeonghan with your elbow.
“Tell you what?” Jeonghan asks but you can feel the playful tone in his voice, almost a childlike wonder of being caught doing something he shouldn't do.
“What is the plan?” You whisper - you don't know why but this whole thing seems like a secret, like something Jeonghan doesn't want to see the light of day yet, something he has been keeping under wraps.
“What plan?”
“I know you Jeonghan," You say finally looking at him, a small smile still stretched across his face, "I have known you for quite a while, come on, don’t underestimate me,”
“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan says playing the fool but the smile is still there, making you probe a little bit more.
“I know you, you would never think about quitting without a black plan besides having a few savings and weird investments, tell me,” You almost pleaded, turning your body to him, your hands on his thighs supporting your own weight on him. And you know you need to bring out the big guns - the begging eyes, almost laughing at yourself.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan laughs at you, his head tilting back and all, like you are the most amusing creature ever.
“Come on,” you urge, using your hands on his leg to almost shake him.
“It is not a plan, it is a desire,” he begins, “I’m thinking about sitting down and doing a few design classes, it can be online but,”
“No-” You say surprised, your smile big across your face because you know where this is going.
“Maybe,” he says still leaning on the counter, eyes closed and that infuriating smile still on.
“You can totally do it,” you tell him almost jumping on your place.
“It is not a plan yet,” he explains, in a vain attempt to make you tone down your excitement, but every time he looks at you he thinks he can give you that, soothe your pain with his dreams and hopes that won't really get out of paper. At least today he can do that for you.
“I can help you,” you say, finally changing positions and sitting almost by his feet, facing him, Jeonghan's hand on your ankle.
“How can you help me?” He asks you, squeezing your ankle and you pretend you are going to kick him, but he just holds your ankle and puts it on his lap.
“We can do it,” you say completely seriously because you truly believe he can do it, achieving his teenage dream job. “You know me, I am an army general, I have discipline, and I love a good worksheet, I am an editor,"
“What you being an editor has to do with it?” Jeonghan says while he tickles your feet, making you almost jerk.
"Stop that," you say using your other to nudge him, "I did a few children's books mind you,” you say, using your free hand to pinch Jeonghan's feet in the form of a threat, “I know how to promote things, I know how to deal with due dates and with manufacturers, you just need to sit down after lunch watch your boring ass class like a college student and hand your resignation letter,”
“It is not something that will actually work and be profitable,” Jeonghan huffs.
“Jeonghan, be honest with me,” you say, this time in a more serious tone.
“Okay,” He says, hands leaving your feet and closing together on his stomach.
“Would you ever take that leap with you couldn’t live till 90 years old with the money you have on the back?” You joke, breaking him in half, his laughter resonating in the kitchen.
“No?” He jokes back.
“We are doing it,” you say like his opinion in his own laugh and plans don't actually matter that much, but Jeonghan just smiles back at you - sometimes, he thinks about how you are the only one who can actually match his insanity, the only one that goes with his plan, or come up with even weird ones.
And Jeonghan knows he is fucked, because every time he thinks he can’t love you more you show him that love grows and expands beyond borders. Lately, Jeonghan favorite song is My Love Mine All Mine, and when he looks at you, in his kitchen, face still swollen and red from crying Mitski sings in his ear - Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine Nothing in the world is mine for free But my love, mine, all mine, all mine. It resonates with him, the fact that his love for you is his to carry. And this alone makes Jeonghan happy in a weird way, because he knows how much love you deserve, and he is happy that he is the one that loves you, and he loves you for free.
Even though Jeonghan knows you don’t love him like he does love you he thinks about how you are the only person that is always there for him. Everyone that he knows would make Jeonghan just let it go. Why the fuck he would build a business around children’s toys? Why would he resign and leave a great career that gives enough money and intel to just go around and draw a few rabbits and frogs on a page? Just because of joy? Jeonghan always knew that joy alone could not make you survive on this earth.
But yet you were doing just that. Telling him to drop everything and just try to be happy. Right now Jeonghan could drop on his knee and ask you to marry him if you weren’t legally married and if he wasn’t a fucking coward. Sometimes he hates himself for that, the way he holds onto something he knows it is not quite enough but it is the only thing he can have.
Jeonghan thinks about- everything really, but mostly how joyful you are in your own way. How you would buy sweet treats just for the sake of it, how you had every single first copy of the books you worked on even if they were beaten in the process and almost unreadable. He thinks about the first time you showed up on his door, a big book in hands and a smile across your face, buzzing full of pride because it was your first fucking book and your boss give you one in the very first batch - back then you were just the one that did the toughest job, reviewing everything.
Jeonghan knows he loves you, he knows for quite a while.
Jeonghan knew before the first girlfriend dumped him because he was jealous of you. When his third girlfriend asked him if he liked you he couldn’t even lie, when his fifth girlfriend broke up and for the fifth time, the reason was you he just stopped trying dates altogether.
Jeonghan doesn't remember much of the marriage itself, he remembers bits and pieces of an Elton John in a 70's costume and how the chapel was way hotter, making Jeonghan's armpits wet, not a great look for a groom. But he remembers everything before that - in a less hazed lens. He remembers telling you in the hotel bar how he loved you for quite a while now, and how you looked so shocked - telling him he should quit lying. He swore on his first dog's grave, weirdly that made you believe him. He told you how he hated Mark - your college boyfriend that literature guy who gave you poems that you still keep as presents, he remembers you saying how you would keep every post-it note if Jeonghan wrote them in the future. It was a promise, you said holding your pinkie finger out for him. He remembers buying you the ring, you outside the store because he knew you would think that the chosen ring was too much, too big, too expensive, any ring will do it you told him before letting him inside, but he couldn't do it, he could only choose the prettiest ring for the prettiest girl. 
Jeonghan remembers his vow, promising he would take care of you, that he would write love letters for the rest of his life on every special date because you hated presents. And Jeonghan remembers how you two kissed in the chapel, on the uber back to the hotel, in the hotel room - more than you should have, because now it is the only thing he can think about it and you don't fuck remember. Jeonghan thought about running, about changing cities and even country - investments were pretty much the same everywhere in the world really. But the reality was that even if he moved, his love was still his to keep, and he would do that heartedly. He was a coward, but he still had his pride, and if that was the price to pay, then, be It.
“Hey, come here,” He says, finally lifting himself off the ground.
“What?” You ask, looking at him still sitting on the floor.
“Come here,” He says again, giving his hands so you can get up.
“What? You are weird what is going on,” you say finally getting up on your feet.
“Come here,” Jeonghan says and before you approach him his arms are already by your side, enveloping you in a thigh hug. “Thank you,” he says softly, “thank you for everything really,”
“Are you drunk Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, your own voice muffled by the tight embrace.
“No,” Jeonghan laughs, and you can feel his whole body move, “I’m serious, thank you for being there for me even when you have shit on your own to deal with,” He says, his chin on top of your head, “and thank you for not thinking I am a commitment phobic asshole.”
“You are still on that? I told you I never saw you like that stop being dumb."
“I know, I am just-” Jeonghan doesn't finish his sentence, his arms still around you, his heart beating by your ear.
“Look you are drunk, at least there is nothing much we can fuck up being drunk together after getting married in Vegas," you say and Jeonghan feels a pang, almost like when he stubs his little finger on the corner of random furniture, but he doesn't say anything, "give me a sip of your wine you asshole,” you say getting free of his embrace and holding the bottle of wine
“Come on! Don’t drink it straight from the bottle, there is a glass right there!” Jeonghan protested.
“Come on Yoon Jeonghan, I know you, I know you since you didn’t have enough cups in your first kitchen, don't play the proper guy with me,” you say like basic manners don't exist, and sitting on his counter.
“I grow up I am an adult now,” Jeonghan says, but he doesn't really move a muscle to pick another glass of wine for you, he thinks it is his biggest flaw - the fact that you can walk over him countless times and Yoon Jeonghan will just let you do whatever you want even if he pretends that it is against his will.
“Oh, totally,” You look at him, and even though the phrase itself has a bite to it your voice is honest, “Not to go back to sappy times, but you really did Hannie, you are really growing so much, and I am so proud of you,”
"Shhhh-” Jeonghan murmurs trying to shut you up and you know it is mainly because he is so fucking shy that you almost laugh.
“By the way,” You say taking another sip from the bottle. “I’m so moving in with you and I can even deal with only one room if you don’t sell any of my stuff.”
“Shut up,” Jeonghan says kissing the top of your head, “you can have the whole house, just don’t set it on fire.”
Ultimately, that actually happens.
You actually move with Jeonghan into his dream house. The house is 98% bare, without the furniture of the last owner besides the utilities. But a) it is better than living with your satan-spit roommate, b) Jeonghan has been sleeping on his own couch for over two weeks now because even though you say it is okay you can't spend that time in your own apartment he refuses to let you near Laurel.
But somehow, Jeonghan and you make a home out of the new house. You take the bookshelves on the left, all the books you edited in your lifetime on a special shelf right in your point of view. Jeonghan takes the bookshelves on the right, a lot of the books you edited and gifted him are scattered across it because he doesn’t really care about arranging his shelves in a particular order.
Every time Jeonghan sees a nice piece of furniture he sends you a picture of it, and you two chat about if it fits the room, and the colors would clash. In a weird way your collection of cups and mugs triples the size, indeed you are engrossed with buying new ones, but the thing is - you always pick two of them now. Jeonghan’s favorite is a weird bunny mug that you never actually use because it ears always make drinking anything impractical.
You two also build a weirdly oiled routine. You two eat breakfast together, Jeonghan wakes up early and when he is just arriving for his morning run you are already scrabbling eggs. When Jeonghan is ready for work you are ready for your own run. When Jeonghan arrives from work you still have one hour to go, so in the end he is the one to always cook dinner. After you two share the dishes and eat something sweet as the dessert the kitchen counter - previously used as a dinner table, now acts an officer table.
While Jeonghan looks up some designer classes, you search manufacturers. When he draws a cute rabbit girl that he named Ttoram, you try to understand how a business works, how you file taxes for it? Sometimes Jeonghan does the dirty work himself after he finishes a new version so you get your pink glittery pen and write in post-it what you think about the new product; ‘what is this material arrow-drawing pointing to a specific part of a squish toy’, ‘her head seems big are you sure she won't flop head first in someone’s bed?’, ‘are you sure? I think lamps are quite expensive.
The house gets filled with new art supplies, sometimes Jeonghan orders a bunch of them online, and sometimes you are the one that brings back a single pen or a new colored pencil that you pick up in arts stories every time you go to a meeting. The house is filled with paper and drawings, your favorite ones is always the first drafts - the ones that Jeonghan does on the non-quality paper, the ones that he does on pieces of paper, the ones that look less refined and to you are filled with children-like joy.
Another curious thing is how somehow you and Jeonghan seemed very addicted to post-it. Besides the practical use in the drawing drafts because Jeonghan was an old soul who couldn’t do his work on an Ipad like a normal human being in this day and age, you also used to communicate - ‘please buy eggs!’ you wrote and left on the kitchen door, ‘already set a reminder on my phone so i don’t forget to stop at the market!’ jeonghan replied. “Didn’t see u before I left :( don’t forget to take breaks” he wrote, somehow the post-it ended up in your office, and you glued it on the computer screen beside one green post-it with a frog with a raincoat on.
Every time the fridge was out of space for new ones you took them off one by one, with a smile on your face, and kept them in a box, safely stored. You always noticed one or two missing but you always thought the wind knocked them out and Jeonghan, that traitor, threw them in the garbage. In short, everything stayed the same with a daily dose of domestic life. The problem was - that it didn’t stay the same for very long.
And as hard as it was to admit, it was your fault.
There was no way around it.
It weirdly began every time you saw Jeonghan around the stove. The fact that Jeonghan was beautiful-handsome-pretty was not news to you. You, and every human being that laid eyes on him, always reached the point where you acknowledged how pretty Jeonghan was. In college it was a fucking nightmare, guys and girls banging on his dorm room when you two were watching a movie just because they thought Jeonghan was alone - the fact that he didn’t have a roommate because he bribed someone (one of the most Jeonghan acts that you ever witnessed, but that was beside the point - really) only added to the fact that 87% of his course thought he was down to bang anytime. The truth was that you always knew that Jeonghan was someone objectively good-looking, but there was a catch, even though Jeonghan was beautiful you didn’t really feel attracted to him and he knew that. Countless times you told him he was too pretty for his own good along with the lines that he wasn’t your type, ‘what the fuck that supposed to mean’ he answered the first time you said that, back in high school. With time it turned out to be your standard answer to every girl that was attracted to him and wanted a shot with him but somehow thought he was your boyfriend.
You know that Jeonghan is good-looking, and you know that for fucking years so why are you going a little insane every time you get in the kitchen and the man is cutting some onions? Truly it happens in the weirdest hours, out of nowhere, your brain reminds you how hot Jeonghan is - and that is even scarier because you knew that the man was handsome, but hot? That’s a new development. Once he arrived from his morning run, his hair a little damp, sweat dripping down his neck, and only with a thigh shirt because he already removed his go-to wind-breaker and you almost collapsed on the kitchen floor. That alone was mind-blowing.
The horrors begin when you just couldn’t deal with his touch without your mind going to the fucking gutter. When he touched your hips to make your move because he wanted to open a drawer, or when he dropped down on the sofa without leaving space between your bodies, his hand tapping your thigh. Out of nowhere, you are combusting because his hand feels hot against your skin, goosebumps appearing across your skin Jeonghan asks you if you are cold. And the fact that Jeonghan is touching you isn't necessarily super weird, he always did that, but somehow you feel that his touches changed and you can't quite pinpoint how besides the fact that you are reacting differently.
It doesn't really help your case that Jeonghan develops a weird habit of wrapping his arm around your neck. It happens everywhere, even in public and every time you can feel yourself grow a little hotter. You were supposed to pay attention to Minghao’s new paintings, a designer slash illustrator slash painter whom you worked with for a few book covers, and somehow in the middle of the opening of his new exposition, you can’t even think about the impasto on his oil paintings because Jeonghan hands feels heavy on your neck, his fingers touching the lateral of it almost rubbing. Every time you take a step to try to see the paintings up close Jeonghan doesn’t let you leave his hold, his body close enough to be pressed against your back, half of your back feeling hot because of his presence, half of it feeling cold because of his absence.
“Hao!” You say when you finally see the man of the hour, black hair on black coats, his hands behind his back looking around all the people that came just to appreciate his work.
“Hey,” He says opening his arms for you.
“Congratulations,” you say feeling the arms of Minghao around your back, your body though prefer to pay attention to the weight of Jeonghan’s eyes on you, “everything is mind blowing,” you say to the man - his hands still on your body, yours on his shoulder, until you hear Jeonghan clearing his throat in order to get you to notice his existence, and you almost laugh, “Hao this is Jeonghan, Jeonghan this is Minghao.”
“Great job man,” Jeonghan says in a weird tone, giving Minghao two little pats on the back and taking a step by your side, his hand on your waist.
“Thank you,” Minghao says politely, like he always does, “It is a pleasure to meet you, you are in the book industry too?” Minghao asks with his hands in his pocket,
“No,” Jeonghan almost scoffs, him? and books? God forbid, “I work with investment these type of things,”
“Oh, so you are not in the art business then,” Minghao acknowledges and you know his interest peaked even though you don't know why, maybe because you know Jeonghan so well you don't have much to unfold, while Minghao just seems weirded out by the fact that you have a Wall Street dude by your side.
“Oh Hao you always flatter me when you include me in the art business,” you say jokingly, reminiscing one of the many conversations you had with Minghao over a bottle of wine.
“I told you," a sly smile across his face, "books are a matter of passion.”
“You did,” you say somewhat reminiscing of the talk you two had back then. It was after calling him up for his second cover, after a meeting where he made you go through the book's motifs and ideas so he could have a feeling of what he should focus on.
“You should come to the after party,” Minghao says, “we could catch up,”
“Yeah I don’t think we can,” Jeonghan says while he checks his watch, he knows the question wasn't directed to him, he isn't stupid and he has two eyes, but he also is a stubborn motherfucker and now he just wants to ruin Minghao's night, and he is not about to Banksy this place up with shredded art pieces - because he is afraid his bank account can't take the lawsuit. “I have a work meeting tomorrow morning” Jeonghan reminds you, his fingers still on your waist.
“Still,” Minghao says, looking puzzled by you two, “you can stay right?”
“I’m afraid I can’t,” you say sorry “Han is driving us back so-”
“Is your phone number still the same?” Minghao asks without dropping a beat, and Jeonghan can give him that, he doesn't know Minghao but the guy just doesn't quit - he knows a stubborn guy when he sees one.
“Yeah, I didn’t change, but if you need you can e-mail me and-” You say before someone calls Minghao, it is his opening after all, a guy in the suit makes a gesture to him when the three of you look to see who was the owner of the voice.
“Sorry, I have to go, but I will call you," He says before giving you a kiss on the cheeks and walking to the guy who just called him.
Jeonghan snorts, really, what was that? He shouldn't find it so funny but it is. He takes a step back, his hands leaving you, while he looks at the painting. You know he is just pretending to analyze everything.
“What?” You ask him - missing his hand on your waist, on your neck, missing his presence around you.
“Nothing,” he says shaking his head, he is biting back a smile - laughter really, and you want to know what it is so funny, you are curious about what is going on in his head.
“It can’t be nothing come on,” you press on, your hand on his shoulder in a way to get some sort of touch from him, to regain some sort of proximity.
“Just-” Jeonghan stops, in front of another painting, his hand going back to your waist, and at the same time you think you can finally breathe again, your breath feels trapped in your throat, making you swallow on nothing, “You didn’t tell me it was an opening night to your ex-fling," he says. Eyes almost tinkling under the light and you know where this is going.
“Hao isn’t my ex fling what are you talking about?” You pretend, trying to get out of this situation because you know somehow Jeonghan will pry on, and he knows how to push your buttons enough just so you can spill everything he wants to know.
“Not fling then," Jeonghan says, hand still on your waist when he starts walking around the gallery with you by his side, until another painting that he really doesn't really care about, "an one night stand.”
“He is a friend," almost rolling your eyes at him, "I told you, I know him because of work,”
“So you are telling me you guys didn’t fuck?” And even though his words my seem harsh his tone is still light - he was truly a jerk but why are you smiling at him?
“Jeonghan, what the fuck?” You yelped, making Jeonghan's sly smile appear again.
“What?” He asks eyes still on you when you pretend to pay attention to the orange painting in front of you.
“Keep your voice low,” you mouthed, “we didn’t fuck,” you tell him again, and it was the truth, but somehow Jeonghan knew how to read between your words.
“Well,” he began, still looking at you even when he tilted his head to the side, a sly smile still on his face like he could see through you like you couldn't keep anything under wraps, and you could feel the goosebumps on the nape of your neck, your whole body tingling, “I am pretty sure it wasn’t for lacking trying on his part.”
“It would be too messy,” you finally blurt it out.
“Ah of course," Jeonghan laughs again and it almost sounds bitter to you, "so he did try, it was after or before saying the book and passion line?”
“After,” you say, your time to laugh, even though you feel the heat on your skin, a crazy addition to new feels because you are not one to actually feel shy around Jeonghan.
“And you laid him down too gently,” he acknowledges, eyes moving through the room again. You follow his gaze, seeing Minghao watching the both of you across the room, you just greet him with a smile.
“What is that supposed to mean?” You ask him, pressing your body on his sides until his arms are back on you.
“Well," Jeonghan breathes, his eyes still rummaging around the room, "I know you can break a guy's heart but apparently you lost your touch with that one because he is still down to fuck.”
“Jeonghan!” You gasped, “No he isn’t you are seeing things like you always do.” You tell him, Jeonghan had this weird superpower that he tuned in college - he could tell a guy was somehow interested in you from miles away, the first few times you actually made a bet on it; fifteen dollars, to pay him for a meal, to go with him to a frat party that his friend Soonyoung was hosting. After the fifth time, you just learned that was better to trust his judgment on it.
“Oh yeah, it truly takes a mind reader to see a guy ogling you across the room and telling you to show up at the after party even tho you have a guy on your arm," Jeonghan almost scoffs, then he leans down, his mouth close to your ear, "truly, his intention was indeed to talk about the impasto or the lighting or the shadow of his hard-on,”
“Jeonghan” you accuse again slapping his arm playfully, laughing at his antics “If I trusted you my ego would be in the clouds because every walking human being apparently wants to fuck me according to you.”
“Not everyone but a great part of it, sure." He deadpans.
“Sure, apparently you are the only exception who else?”
“I’m not,” Jeonghan deadpans again, just shrugging. Because it is not actually something he tried to hide over the years, it is nothing something that he is ashamed of either. And he is pretty sure it is something you already know since college so he doesn't have to lie about it. Jeonghan might be a coward, but he isn't really a liar.
“What?”
“I tried to get in your pants my whole high school years," He says, his eyes still on the painting, or everything that catches his attention, his eyes are everywhere really but on you. "I just gave up after the few first months of college”
“What the hell?” You try again. Everything feels kind of abnormal in your head. The way that Jeonghan says those words - like he is saying that you two should buy soap the next time you both go do groceries, it freaks you out. How can he be so normal about all of that?
And how could you be so clueless? Everything shifts in your brain - like the earth just changed its axes. He never told you anything closer to this, you are sure of it. You never suspected that Jeonghan liked you back then, or scratch that, that he tried to get in your pants. It seems something so unreal that you are having a hard time wrapping your mind around it - around the idea of a teenager and younger Jeonghan wanting something from you that you never really saw happening.
“What the hell what?” Jeonghan stopped dead on his track, finally looking at you, “You didn’t know that?”
“Of course not,” you say exasperated.
“Oh, I thought you were laying me down gently too,” he added, in the most neutral tone possible, making your head spin a little.
“No, I had no idea,” and it is true. You remember everyone from college who thought you and Jeonghan were a couple back then, everyone who found it weird when you two answered that you were just friends. You remember Seokmin, and you think about Seungcheol's words in Vegas and everything is hazed, a little out of focus. “Why did you give up tho?” You ask him.
“I just,” he says still looking forward and avoiding your eyes like the plague, “I mean, besides the fact that you got into he is not my type phase I would never kiss that man, the fact that I tried for four years and it didn’t happen led me to believe that never would, so...”
“I needed to make clear to every girl that was falling and tripping over you that I was not your girlfriend, they were pretty sure we were high school sweethearts back then”
“I think everyone we know somehow ends up thinking we are in a relationship,” he says, “I mean, clearly not goth impasto guy because that would be crazy, hitting on a woman with her husband on her side but”
“You need to pick up your husband's game,” you say kidding, while walking around the gallery with him, “I was indeed mistaken to be a single woman today.”
“I should have bought a bigger ring,” Jeonghan groaned, making you laugh, weirdly you still have the big ring on your finger.
“That’s not the answer,” you groaned because the man truly had this weird obsession with this ring and big rocks. You could tell him over and over again how you didn’t care about the ring or the rocks and he still found a way to make sure you were wearing the ring.
“And what is? If I try to be more territorial within the touch department we would be in jail for public indecency,” Jeonghan says low on your ear, his voice mischievously, while his hand presses on your hips, “Should we just go to jail?” Jeonghan asks, his hands trying to go lower heading towards your butt.
“Jeonghan, don’t test me,” you say seriously, your hand holding his and bringing up on your body. Why the fuck didn’t Jeonghan behave like a proper human being? Why your heart is racing against your ribcage? Why you are enjoying this whole thing?
The whole night you can feel Jeonghan’s hand on you in some way, or on your lower back, your neck, fingers on your shoulder, making his presence known somehow. And every time you think you are starting to understand what happened - what Jeonghan said, what that meant, he touches you again and everything gets a bit hazed, taking you to the start again.  Should you read into everything that he said to you? Would you be able to deal with it?
Those questions are still going around your brain in the car back home. Home, that alone was something that didn't make sense either. The air in the car is so thick that you think you can't breathe, the fact that Jeonghan's hand is splayed against your thigh doesn't help with the issue. The curiosity gets the best of you - you want to know all the unsaid things, you want to get under his skin and discover everything Jeonghan even wanted.
He doesn't move his hand, he doesn't stroke your skin, his hand is just there. Again, a reminder of some sort, and you almost laugh - silly of him to think that his presence could go unnoticed by you. Jeonghan has always been there on your mind, and lately even more. It makes your mouth go dry. The feeling is back on the pit of your stomach again. What if? You ask yourself, what would have happened if Jeonghan said those things back then? Would the present be different? Would that have washed away all the curiosity about Jeonghan?
Arriving home you go straight to the sofa and plop down in the middle seat, taking your time to take off your high heels, you don’t know why but you still buy pairs with ankle ties - the bane of your existence when it is three hours later and you have a thigh dress on, maybe that’s why you think you hate those types of event, even though you had a great time, saw a few friends and enjoyed the night with Jeonghan, you always ended up tired with a few blisters on your feet. You can hear Jeonghan’s footsteps around the house while you massage your feet and try to ease the tension.
You turn your body so you can stretch your legs on the sofa, the pain on your calves is killing you. You don’t even turn when you feel Jeonghan entering the room, his perfume and the sound of his slippers are enough to make his presence known. It was always like that? Did Jeonghan's presence always engulf you? Did it always make you unable to focus on anything else? Did it always make you question your own sanity? He sits down on the sofa, in the same direction as you, his legs around yours, his front pressed on your back and you hold yourself back because you almost whimper when you feel your body melting against his.
“You’re tense,” Jeonghan says his voice low, his hands pressing the knots on your shoulders.
“I am always tense and stressed out,” you say, and it is the truth. Jeonghan doesn’t need to know that for the last few weeks the fact that he is the number one reason. You almost rub yourself against him, feeling a little bit crazy and hot all over - oh no.
“Hm,” Jeonghan acknowledges. When his fingers close around your neck you almost jump on your seat, his thumbs traveling across the knots of your spine, and you are not strong enough to not whimper this time, “there’s a lot of things you could do to distress.”
“Like what? A guided meditation?” You joke, trying to get away with it, trying to downplay every reaction of your body.
“Fuck those apps,” he mutters under his breath, he is so close you can feel his breath against your nape.
“Yeah right there,” You say when his thumb presses down in a particular knock on your back.
“This one?” You just nod, don’t trust yourself enough to utter a word that doesn’t sound like a humiliated noise. Since when did you turn into a mess in Jeonghan’s hand? But you just accept your fate, feeling how soft your body feels against his. “Can I open this?” Jeonghan asks, his voice so low you barely hear, but he is so close to you that your ears catch his question.
And you still don’t trust yourself, so you nod again. Jeonghan drops the zipper of your dress and takes his time to gather your hair in his hands, and taking them out of his way, letting your locks rest on your shoulder. His fingertips trails the collar of your dress again, and you can feel the goosebumps across your skin and you know Jeonghan can see them as well.
You can feel the way that Jeonghan’s fingertips travel down your spine as he opens the zipper of your dress. And you close your arms around your chest, in order to maintain the dress in place because you can feel how loose the fabric feels against your body after the zip is down. But apparently, Jeonghan is not even close to satisfied because his fingers are tugging the straps of your dress down your arms.
Jeonghan’s fingertips are still on your skin, stroking your arms when you feel his lips against your shoulder. Before you can think about anything your own body reacts before you, giving space so Jeonghan can continue kissing the column of your neck. Everything feels a little surreal, a blur, you can't quite grasp-
Then, your cellphone starts to ring bringing you back to reality.
“Don’t pick up,” Jeonghan tells you, almost like a whisper against your ear, his hands still around your waist - but then your phone rings again and again and reality comes crashing again and again.
And you want to say that you are ok with almost being undressed on Jeonghan’s lap, that it is ok the way his thighs cage you, that it is ok how his hands feel hot against your body and how his lips feel against your neck. But your phone rings again and it must be important so you stretch yourself and try to find your phone inside your bag by feel. When you finally can reach the phone dies, and you can feel Jeonghan’s smile across your skin - like he just won. But before you can drop the phone you feel it ringing again, and when you pick up the big font appears on the screen ‘seungcheol is the best’. You can feel Jeonghan’s hand freeze against your body, the way he just goes rigid.
“Don’t pick up,” He says again but now something is different - his voice is not low.
“It must be something important,” you reasoned, because it is true. You have been trying to get a hold of Seungcheol since before leaving Vegas and yet the man didn't answer you once.
“Just-” Jeonghan tries, and you can feel his squeezing your shoulders again, almost in a silent plea.
“I haven’t talked to him since Vegas, it must be something important,” You say, your own hands going to his in an effort to show him that you understand what he is trying to say.
“Are you truly doing this right now?” Jeonghan asks and when you don't answer him he already knows.
You look at him but Jeonghan just gets up and off the sofa and leaves the room, in the end, you choose to just pick up your phone and answer it with a low “Hey cheol,” so low that Seungcheol asks if you were sleeping.
Seungcheol tells you he wants to meet, to talk about things. And you say yes because why not? You pick yourself up and close your dress. Before going to your room you stop at Jeonghan's door and before you lose all the courage that you have in your body you knock on the door, nothing, and you try again just to hear the sound of the shower across the room when you glue your ear against the door.
When you lie on your bed you don't really can close your eyes. You feel restless, your mind wavering, and you can't stop thinking about Jeonghan.
What would that mean?
If you took that leap would Jeonghan be there if everything fell apart? A shiver runs down your spine because it is the first that the answer would be a no. You ask yourself why now. What made Jeonghan change?
And you can't even look back anymore - you can't even think about your friendship with Jeonghan without it being tinted, his words echoing in your brain, "I just gave up". You play the whole conversation back in your head, almost like an old VHS tape - rewinding and pressing play, trying to see everything in another angle, rewinding, asking yourself what that meant, rewinding, thinking back, rewinding and pressing play - unfolding all the touches, and the times Jeonghan's hand lingered on your body.
You rewind until the sleep gets the best of you when it is already bright outside.
You wake up to the sound of your phone, Seungcheol calling you because he will run a little late, of course, you say while he just laughs because it is so clear that you were sleeping. When you run down the stairs, almost falling on it because your brain isn't functioning yet, you don't find Jeonghan anywhere. When you look at the fridge and there are no new notes, your heart breaks a little.
The coffee that Seungcheol chooses is pretty, and not very crowded, and even though Seungcheol is late is not a big deal, you use the time to go over a few manuscripts and spreadsheets with a cup of coffee on your side. Or at least you try to, but the truth is that you send Jeonghan a few messages and every time your phone pings you need to check if he is the one answering you - it isn't.
When Seungcheol arrives, you see him first, still from afar, his hair is shorter now. You almost laugh because that is definitely not a Seungcheol's choice, nor a haircut. His hair screamed his fiancée's name.
"Hey stranger," he says sitting across from you.
"Hey yourself," you greet him back, almost laughing at how awkward this whole thing is. Seungcheol and you walking around eggshells. Neither you nor Seungcheol wants to start talking about the whole elephant in the room - Yoon Jeonghan.
You ask him about the wedding preparation, it is going nice he says, he was late because he needed one last fit on his suit. His mother nagged over and over about how he shouldn't wear a navy blue suit, his future wife nagged about how it couldn't be black because the whole vibe of the afternoon wedding was different from a night wedding.
"I'm just happy that you guys worked everything out," Seungcheol says after a while, sipping on his coffee.
"Cheol," You try your heart already tugging on your inside.
"No really," he smiles at you, the way he always does - with a fondness you can't quite handle, like after all those years he still sees you like the kid you once were. Someone who didn't really have hold of her life and in a way, after all those years you feel like that again. "I did a lot of thinking," Seungcheol chuckles, "I think that I always have been envious of Jeonghan in a way," he breathes loudly, almost trying to gather up courage, "here I was, with my wedding date set up and still having doubts about how I feel and if I should go on with it." Seungcheol scratches her head almost like he is ashamed to tell you the truth, "And there is my friend, right? I think that the thing I always admired about Jeonghan was how consistent he was, you know me, in that way, we are alike right? We see shine things and we run towards them, a new project, a thing we like, don't even say anything about the golf gear I swear to god," he says abruptly making you laugh, and it was true in that sense you and Seungcheol were very much the same. "But Jeonghan is consistent, that man's mind is a fucking rock," Seungcheol says like a jab and you can understand why, "and yet he is more sure about you than I am about my fiancée really. And he has been sure for years, I still don't know what made him make a move-, he didn't talk to me prior to that, but I am truly happy that you guys figured it out, it took you long enough."
"I don't even know what to say," you breathe, looking at Seungcheol. You can't blurt out the words - physically unable to tell him. You think about what you should say, you should tell him -'we are not together', 'we didn't figure it out'. You want to tell the truth, you want to come clean, but you just can't. "But yeah, he has always been there for me" you laugh a little soulless. It is not a lie either, but it is not the whole truth, Yoon Jeonghan has always been there for you, but now all the other pieces of the puzzle are coming together. "I think the only thing that hurt him was you going on and on about his commitment issues or whatever.
"It's-" Seungcheol breathes, "it wasn't like that. I mean, sure, he can't commit to anyone who isn't you," he shrugs, "I think it was back when you were going out with that lit kid right? god" Seungcheol laughs, shaking his head like he just found a memory in his treasure box, "Jeonghan was so jealous back then," Seungcheol continues, reminiscing,  "he would get furious every time that guy would give you a letter, a poem, anything really. I don't know how you didn't catch up on how much he hated that guy's gut if he dissed the poor kid."
"I just thought-" you stop to think about it, "I don't even know what I was thinking back then, but I never once thought it was because of jealousy, he was dating like 3 girls at the same time back then," you tell, felling the bittersweet taste on your mouth.
"Well," Seungcheol takes another sip, "you know Yoon Jeonghan, when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to fuck everything up and push himself to do shit just out of spite. His high school crush and love of his life found her first boyfriend, how do you think he would handle that? What he could do about that? Try to write poems better than Mark? He tried to believe they were all shitty, trying to forget you was the last thing he could do for himself, even that didn't actually work."
And you feel like you are about to go into overdrive.
It is one of your flaws really, you were never one who would react quickly - your brain always trying to assess and digest everything before being able to take a leap. The problem was that you needed to unpack more than ten years, to go through every file of your life with Jeonghan and try to find a new meaning, trying to find a clue, in search of something you don't know yet, but that could make you understand, or realize.
You spend the whole day feeling a weird taste in your mouth.
The thing is, you can't quite pinpoint what are you feeling, you can't really name it. It somehow resembles feeling betrayed, you think, that you have a cheating boyfriend and everyone knows his secret but nobody has the courage to tell you, and when you actually find out you are the last one to know.
You take your time walking around town and even figure out the longest route to Jeonghan's house.
Even that sounded weird rolling off your tongue.
You try again - picking random memories to try to see if you can find a hiding meaning somewhere, a clue, evidence of Jeonghan's feelings. A crush you could understand, something small like an affection with an expiration date you could understand. You could understand the curiosity that grew in the past month.
But Seungcheol's words didn't point to that, Seungcheol's words were actually pointing in the opposite direction of that.
And if you were being honest with yourself, that made you afraid.
“I talked with Seungcheol,” you blurt out when Jeonghan finally arrives.
“Yeah, we are not going there,” Jeonghan says seriously, without looking at you - avoiding you at every cost. It is a tell, a clue that he doesn't want to talk about it. You don't want either, if you could you would never go there again, but you need to, because living things like they are right now, messy and all over the place aren't working.
“Jeonghan,” you groan, “we need to talk about everything that happened in Vegas, his wedding is in a few weeks."
“I think you were there when he said I wasn't invited so I am not really following right now," Jeonghan says his voice stuffy because his head is inside the fridge in search of something, maybe he is just trying to not look at you.
"He told me you are not answering his calls," You tell him, and before Jeonghan says anything he just scoffs and closes the fridge door without taking anything out. He doesn't actually move, but he doesn't look at you either, his head is hanging off his shoulders, and you know Jeonghan so well that you know that nothing will make him move. You know you are not going to win, but yet you press it on, because you are tired of things being left unsaid, of Jeonghan bottling everything out and things ending up being your fault.
"Why are you being so fucking stubborn about this?" You ask watching Jeonghan just shake his head, "he is your best friend."
“Yeah like Seungcheol’s is flawless,” he bites back.
“Jeonghan this is not the point right now-" You start before he cuts you off.
“It is never the point right?” He asks you, finally looking at you, still holding his weight on the counter, "Is never the point, is never the right time, is never them it is always me fucking it up because it is Jeonghan he is not serious, he can take it, you guys can go on and on and god forbid if someone doesn't wanna take more bullshit from you."
“Come one don’t get angry with me,” you plead.
“Of course, right, I can't even get angry," Jeonghan says before he heads to walk out of the kitchen.
"Jeonghan," You almost beg making him stop and look at you, "we really need to talk about everything."
"Talk about everything or for you to be Seungcheol's spokesperson?" He says, and when you don't answer he completes, "Then no, we are not talking”
“Of course, because that will solve everything," you say almost groaning, "he is your best friend for god's sake, he still thinks we are in a somewhat relationship, he wants to talk to you, he feels guilty for being an asshole. He is sorry." You try almost stomping your feet at every word.
"Well, good for him," Jeonghan says like words don't have enough weight to make him care.
"Come on Jeonghan I'm trying here," you whine.
"Trying to do what exactly?" He asks, "Did you ever think about what actually happened since Vegas?" He says finally looking at you, and you feel even worse. He almost laughs when you don't answer. "Okay, I did, I spent every single second thinking about it and I am really fucking tired of thinking about it. I tried to put it through a different lens, I tried to put myself in other people's shoes, I tried to be reasonable and understand everyone, look I really did, and I did a great job understanding that you forgot the whole damn thing, of course, you can forget me telling you that I am head over hills for you sure, you can forget that you were the one who kissed me back then sure, of course it happens, I mean," Jeonghan scoffs, "I understand for years what is a few more months right?"
"Jeonghan-"
"No, let me finish this because somehow it will be my fault again so let me make everything clear," he says - back again looking at every corner around the kitchen but not laying an eye on you; "Seungcheol knows, he always knew about everything, he knows how many girlfriends gave me fucking ultimatum and I always choose you. He knows how many women broke up with me because they knew I was in love with you, sure, everyone in my fucking life knew but you - I understand that too sure," he stops, breathing loudly and you feel the lump around your throat way to thigh, "and he fucking knows that if I could I would've got over this sooner, so yeah, maybe I was too fucking sensitive when my friend act like I was a fucking coward who has commitment issues and would never do anything about it sure, it's my fault great, I can be responsible for that. I can take that sure, I can take Seungcheol, what I can't take is you playing dumb after last night, that I can't take it, and to be fair I don't want to, I don't have to, and you don't have a lot of excuses this time, I guess you remember right? And I think that time I made myself pretty clear so this time you must know right?"
You have been building your life around Jeonghan's for years. In a way, Jeonghan's life and yours were beautifully intricate, to the point that you weren't quite sure where one ended and one began. You think about how would your life be without Jeonghan's presence, and how would your future look like. And that scared the shit out of you.
"And that took you how many years Jeonghan?"
"Don't do that," he says and his voice feels almost small.
"Sure, I am sorry if I'm being fucking selfish right now, but you had your own time to think about everything, right? You have had years to come to your own terms? I'm freaking out here, do you think that's easy for me? Do you think it is easy to think about the aftermath if this goes wrong Jeonghan? Sure I understand that maybe that is your tipping point great, I understand that, but you are my friend and I don't fucking know how we will go on if we fuck everything up," you laugh, "I think we already passed that apparently."
"We didn't fuck it up," Jeonghan says, "Why can't you trust me for once?"
"I do," You say, and it is the truth, you trust Jeonghan with your life, "I do, I am just scared. You took your time to figure everything out, but every time I look back now I think about everything you didn't tell me,"
"I told you everything," Jeonghan says and you can almost feel his desperation, "I was sincere about everything,"
"Now you are just telling lies," you say laughing dryly.
"Sure I didn't tell you everything, but the things I haven't told you are small in comparison."
"The fact that you like me isn't small Jeonghan," you say, and it finally downs on you, that this - his feelings are a huge thing that you can't quite hide.
"What I am trying to say is-" Jeonghan says, finally taking steps and getting closer to you, "I will not go anywhere," you hear him - even though it feels like he is whispering, "even if we fuck up, even if this doesn't work out, I will not go anywhere, if that's what you are afraid of then you have nothing to be afraid. I won't go anywhere because that would kill me more than would hurt you, and even though everyone around me thinks I am a masochist I would prefer not to die."
"I would rather not hurt you," you say and you feel like you could cry, "I am sorry if I ever did."
"You did," Jeonghan says, taking your hand, and holding it firmly like that act alone can show you how serious he is, "but nothing I couldn't take, even If you hurt me again, I can take it, I will take it." 
Even if both of you don't want to, things stay a little weird between the two of you for some time. Like both of you are back to being so conscious of each other presence that it is just weird to jump right back at it, or, actually, take a step in another direction. But things fall back into place - more because of Jeonghan’s attitude than yours. He is the one that calls you for dinner, and he is the one that hugs you when you enter the kitchen.
He is the one that is trying to make things not weird. And you love him for it, you just love him, heatedly.
And the thing is, you always loved Jeonghan, but somehow, this kind of love and appreciation feels new and it is so scary, it makes you realize how everything is so fragile. But, at the same time - it makes you curious, it makes you wonder, it makes you act first just to see Jeonghan’s reaction.
Like when Jeonghan’s is whining about something and how he wants to quit his work so bad and you just hug him - almost melting against his back, placing your chin against his should and you can see Jeonghan freeze for a few seconds before he starts to pay attention on the food again.
Or when you start to watch a movie together and Jeonghan just melts in your lap, falling asleep while your hand goes through his hair. The next day when you whine about it he sweats to God he didn't sleep, he was paying attention to the movie, if you want to he can say the whole movie plot and all.
When the first Ttoram prototype arrives you are so excited that when you both place the little bunny on the dinner table, when she flops down - face diving because her head is too big - you are so happy for him that you just hold his face and place a quick kiss on his lips. Jeonghan looking at you wide-eyed. You almost start to laugh before you mutter:
“I told you, her head is too big,” you say trying to place Ttoram upright again.
“It is her charm, her brain is so big that she is dumb,” He says his voice weirdly fond, hands on your body pulling you into him.
“Yoon Jeonghan,” You stare at him - that weird mischievous smile on his lips, “what is that supposed to mean?”
“You should be honored,” Jeonghan says, holding your face almost making you yelp because his hands are so freaking cold, “You are my muse after all.”
And you almost curse him. But the thing is Jeonghan is cute, so will let it pass.
The thing is most of the time you are giggling and kicking your feet at everything Jeonghan does - that crush is so weird because you used to be stronger than that, now you are just falling in all of his antics, and boy doesn't he love it.
He just says the weirdest things out of nowhere just so he can hear your laugh. He holds you every time he has a chance, just pulling you close to hug you. But his favorite part of this new thing is how movie night now is just the two of you starting a movie to just act like a horny teenager.
Jeonghan is always the one who initiates it in a way. Sometimes is just caressing your arm before you start kissing him and licking against his mouth. Sometimes he feels bold enough and places his hand under your hoodie. The details always change but he always ends up with a hard-on and feeling like his younger self.
And it is happening again, his cock is hard, and he can barely hear the movie that is playing on the tv because you are kissing him and he can feel himself melting against the bed, like his whole body is going limp.
It is stronger than him, really. He wants to stay calm and collected but before he knows it he is already a whimpering mess, fingers digging in on your waist, his hips moving on their own, searching for some kind of pressure.
It is such a weird feeling, feeling so boneless and yet, feeling like he is a string - being pulled thigh enough he is about to snap at any minute.
When you break the kiss Jeonghan almost whines but before he can say anything you are already kissing his jaw so he just breathes loudly - accepting everything you want to give him.
“Can I suck you off?” You ask low on Jeonghan’s ears and he almost drop dead right there, like a fucking high schooler, like a teenager who just cum on his pant and drop dead when see a woman naked. And that would be fucking humiliating. He waited for so long he can't just burst a fucking nut in his own pants.
Jeonghan wants to answer you, he wants to say yes and maybe even mutter a please and thank you but somehow his brain is not even working properly, he is beyond dumb. But his dick is hard against his pants and he cannot even think properly - his brain is working overcapacity right now to try to take everything in.
So he does the only thing he can do in the moment - he pulls you into a kiss, and it is messy but Jeonghan doesn’t really care, focusing on the way you taste against his tongue. Jeonghan feels your cold hand against his stomach and he almost jumps at the spot, but you just whimper against his mouth when he does the same thing.
Jeonghan thinks the two of you are beyond niceties - you just told him you want his dick in your mouth, so he lets his desires win, while one of his hands is holding your waist under your shirt, the other one he uses to grope your ass. He squeezes your ass and at the same time, he tries to get your body even closer. You end up with your leg over him, across his hips, Jeonghan with his last functioning neuron takes the chance to shove his hand under your shorts too.
“Han,” you say when you come up for air, hand still splayed across Jeonghan’s body. “Come on,” you try again whining.
“Hm?” Jeonghan questions, his eyes almost closed and his head bent.
“You don’t want to?” You ask, voice low, taking the time that he uses to think about an answer to trail your lips across his neck, sucking at his skin, “I really want to but if you don't that's okay?”
“Hm?” Jeonghan mumbles - for a second he has no idea what are you talking about, his mind focused on how you feel against his hands, the weight of your body against him, how every curve of your body is pressed against his, how you smell and you taste.
“Suck you off,” you say again against his neck, almost petulantly like Jeonghan isn't paying attention, and he really isn't, but you shouldn't blame a man.
“Fuck,” he says almost whimpering.
Jeonghan was never like this - in his life nor in bed. He was never a mess, not to this point. Jeonghan always pretended to be somewhat collected, holding the strings of his life tight enough he could make his own choices, but it was never like that when the topic was you. So when the feeling pools on his belly, a reaction to how your fingers feel against his throat, taking matters into your hands when you grab Jeonghan's chin and maneuver his face in an angle so you can have access to more of his skin.
Jeonghan thinks he can die like this - almost dry-humping your leg. But apparently, you have other plans, your hand tugging at his joggers. Jeonghan's only reaction is to lift his hips, trying to help. It doesn't help much, but it is enough for you to shove your hands under his underwear, making Jeonghan shiver. When your hand finally finds his dick he almost melts, the tip of your things trying to map out everything before you apply pressure on it. He moans softly before closing his eyes.
He wants to be patient and wants to take whatever you give him, but the truth is he can't quite hold back anymore. His hands left your body so he can get hold of your face, kissing you. "Want to see you," he tells you, using all his strength to take one of the straps of your pajamas down. Kissing your shoulders, trying to map your collarbones with his mouth.
When Jeonghan tries to move the strap down your arm you don't budge, shaking your head telling him no, "don't want to stop touching you," and Jeonghan almost short circuit when your hand wraps around him and give his dick a few tugs.
"I know baby," Jeonghan coos, almost delirious out of his mind, his hand holds your wrist and takes out of his cock and the way that you just whine makes him even more desperate. His whole body is limp, almost melting. Jeonghan thinks he might die if he doesn't get naked, but he is too entertained with the view of your boobs in his face.
He knows there is an easier way to do this but fuck it, he is not in his right mind. Instead of taking out your flimsy excuse of a pajama Jeonghan just shoves It down, tugging at the end of the fabric while he kisses your chest. The way that you hold his head is so delicate that makes Jeonghan feel weirdly treasured even if he is completely debauched lapping at your skin. And Jeonghan takes his time, appreciating every inch of your skin
He could spend hours like this, he thinks - almost melting against you, kissing your chest lazily. He drags his tongue across your skin until he can reach your nipple, his hands come up your body until he can grab your boob so he can angle just right before his mouth is back to your body. Jeonghan thinks he can die like that, it would be a good way to go - your fucking tits on his face, your body pressed on his, his hard-on against your thigh, everything feels dizzy. When you shove your chest on Jeonghan's face, holding his face against you, he just takes it because he is so down and so horny that taking it is the only thing he can do.
"Hannie," you call and Jeonghan really just has enough strength to look up at you, without his mouth leaving your chest, "Just let me-" you try to say without much control of your own situation.
It is not like you are in your right mind either. Jeonghan's hands feels warm on your skin, and he holds you so tight that you think about the aftermath of his grip - you should make a mental note to check for marks after this, and that alone makes you tremble. You can only think about how Jeonghan's body feels against yours, how his mouth is still on you, and you want to cry because it is just so good but not enough. You feel you might cry. Or worse, die.
You press Jeonghan down until his back is pressed down on the mattress. And God he is so pretty, it makes you almost feel delirious.
When you sit down on Jeonghan's hips he feels like he is almost dying. Everyone he ever wanted felting very pale in comparison when he lay his eyes on you - hair already a mess, lips red from kissing him, flimsy shirt pooling at your waist. Your hands sneak under his shirt, and he almost laughs, damn he must be looking so dumb right now - feeling and behaving like a fucking virgin while his crush is on his lap, taking her time with him. You lift Jeonghan's shirt, dragging your hands underneath it, almost whining and frustrated when the shirt doesn't stay around his neck. Cute - he thinks, when you pout Jeonghan realizes he said that out loud.
"Just take it off," you whine again, tugging at his shirt.
Jeonghan just nods, holding your hips for leverage until he is sitting upright, holding the back of his shirt and taking it off in record time, before Jeonghan lies down again he feels your hand on his chin, holding him so you can kiss him again. Damn, he is lucky. But before he can think another thought you are pushing him back on the bad again, his hand on your hips.
Your hands travel on his body, caressing him - making him feel so close to losing his mind it is almost ridiculous. When Jeonghan's feels your fingers graze his neck he feels almost delirious, when your hand palms his chest and your digits press against his nipples it Is his time to whine, he almost feels like it is just too much, maybe he is closer than a step away from coming in his pants.
One of your hands is splayed against Jeonghan's stomach when the other one tugs  the waistline of his pants, pulling the elastic band and letting it hit against Jeonghan's skin. You shuffle around his hips, sitting on his thighs now and Jeonghan is ready to complain when you tug on his pants again, this time actually getting the cloth to move and get it stopped by Jeonghan's hard-on.
"Baby," Jeonghan mumbles, "that's too much," he tries again, but apparently there is nothing he can say to make you stop - and in all honestly he doesn't want you to.
Jeonghan thinks he will die if he doesn’t get his dick free. Even though he doesn’t want to he takes the hand off your ass so he can take down his joggers, shoving his underwear down at the same time, his other hand still firm on your waist.
When your fingers close against Jeonghan’s shaft he almost sees stars. You give him a few experimental tugs. He feels so breathless, how is that even possible?
You almost scoff, looking at how even his dick is pretty - really, you should complain because it is so unfair. You press your finger on his slit, collecting the drop of precum, and the way that his dick twitch it makes your mouth water, but before you can even complete your thoughts Jeonghan’s hand is holding your face and bringing it down to another kiss.
If it was up to Jeonghan he would kiss you the whole night, but you had other ideas, using one hand to shove him until he is lying again when the other one is still on his dick. He is pretty sure he can feel your taste against your mouth but yet he feels parched. When you start to press kisses on his body, the only thing Jeonghan can do is take it.
Jeonghan thinks you want to wreck him. He feels you press your lips against his nipples, his hips buckling on its own, and you stroke his dick a little bit harder. Jeonghan can barely breathe, yet, without wasting a second you are doing it again - pressing your lips to his other nipple and licking it.
Before he can even wrap his mind around that you start to lick his belly and Jeonghan almost sees stars. He just feels everything, and apparently, your tongue dragging against his skin goes straight to his dick. Jeonghan doesn't know how, but he lifts himself up on his elbows, the view alone could make him cum - you still kissing him, lips on his hips, pressing Jeonghan's dick against his tummy, fingers rubbing his frenulum and he is just so sensitive that he groans before he can hold your hand making you stop.
"Too sensitive?" You ask and why the fuck do you sound so out of it when Jeonghan is being pulled and pushed around the edge?
"A little," Jeonghan answers breathlessly, his tongue dry against his mouth.
"Ok, noted," you say before doing something even worse - placing your lips on the same place before kissing the tip of his dick.
You wrap your lips around Jeonghan can't really control himself, he just pushes his hips slightly so you can take more of him, and god when you moan around him almost makes Jeonghan forget every trace of decency and good bed etiquette. But damn you just look so beautiful sucking his dick, one of your hands digging on his thigh and the other one still wrapped around his dick that it is physically impossible to not thrust his hips up.
"God," Jeonghan says and he sounds so defeated against his own ears, "fuck, you are so pretty," he tries again, looking at you and when he sees you looking up at him, eyes almost twinkling with the praise. And his mind almost snaps - oh, you felt that didn't you? The joy of discovering something every time Jeonghan's hips snapped. He gets it now. It is almost like a power trip. "So pretty, taking my cock," Jeonghan tries again and he almost can feel your moan against his dick before he can hear it.
Every word that Jeonghan mutters makes you take more of his dick into your mouth until he is hitting the back of your throat, god and how he can take that? Your lips around him, your tongue dancing around his dick, the hollowing of yours checks each time you suck him. He is delirious and out of his mind. He tries his best, he really does, but his hips have a mind of its own, and before he knows it he is thrusting up again making you gag around him.
Then your mouth leaves his dick and Jeonghan feels like he is about to collapse, everything just feels so much - the sound, the spit trail, the way your breath is irregular, fanning against his skin - and yet the intensity of feeling nothing makes him mind spin a little bit.
"Come here," Jeonghan mutters trying to catch his own breath. You crawl up his body and Jeonghan can only focus on how messy you look, lips glossy and pink, and he can see the faintest trail of spit on the corner of your lips, he presses his lips there before he drags his fingers on your lips, "I let you suck my cock, can I fuck you now?"
"Please?" You ask back and Jeonghan can feel his dick twitching.
"How do you want me?" Jeonghan says tugging at the bottom of your shorts and he almost laughs when you just shove everything down at once - and he could laugh really, at your desperation but first, he is way worse than you, second you are so pretty that he can't wrap his mind around the fact that everything he conjured up in his mind every time he thought about you when he was lazily stroking himself didn't do you justice.
"You can stay like that," you say, and before Jeonghan can mutter an answer you are already placing your knees on the sides of his hips, his hands automatically going to your waist, his mouth pressing against your collar bones.
One of your hands goes to Jeonghan's jaw, just holding slightly, while the other one wraps around Jeonghan's dick again - and he swears he would say something but his mind goes completely blank when you press your pussy on his dick. Your hips moving to make his cock disappear between your folds, making it drag against your clit, Jeonghan can feel how wet you are and god everything just feels so hot - he feels tight all over, like his muscles are contracting, even the ones he didn't know he had.
"Are you getting off like this?" Jeonghan questions and his only answer is a whine and your hips buckling against him, "Come on baby," Jeonghan tries again, hand now holding your hip, guiding your movements, "I can-" Jeonghan breathes, he doesn't want to say it but, "If you keep going like that, pussy so pretty against my cock, I will cum before I-"
"God," you groan against his shoulder, "can you really?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan almost laugh, his hand grabbing your ass. Of course, he can, he could've come already, but he is dragging this off, he is holding himself back. "Babe," Jeonghan calls you, mouth hot against your neck, "I could've come on your mouth, I'm so hard it is almost painful,"
"Can we-" You almost hiccup, "can we like that" you mumble again, "you can fuck me later," you say and Jeonghan almost sees white.
God, he could cum like that this wasn't even a question, the question was could you? The fact that you were over the edge like him was enough to drive him crazy.
Every time you drag your hips against him Jeonghan's let out a little moan, and he feels so wrecked that he just plants his lips on your neck, sucking at your skin. Jeonghan does not know if it is a reaction or is just because he is losing his mind but he can tell you are getting faster, the rhythm getting a little off, the way you breathe against him, everything just seems too much, and Jeonghan can't take it anymore.
The world stops spinning for a bit - everything just stays still.
Jeonghan is out of it until the sound of your breath brings him back. You are almost pouting. "Did you?" Jeonghan asks, himself breathless too.
"No," You whine and you feel so frustrated that Jeonghan pities you a little bit.
"It's okay," he says - because it is he will take care of it, it's not a problem.
But when Jeonghan looks down he almost cums again. It is so messy. Why there is so much cum? God, he blinks at the view - trying to take everything but mainly you, hovering on his lap.
"Han," You call and Jeonghan is brought back to reality.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he says, and it is not like he is in control anymore, his mind Is just gone, he just drops his hand - scooping his own cum and placing it own your pussy. You moan so loudly and Jeonghan can feel your desperation, pressing his digits more firmly against your clit, "Like that?" He questions and you can only nod your head, words falling. Jeonghan holds you close to him, your chest against his, your hand still going between your legs, his other hand holding your waits, "Fuck how can you be so hot," he starts going making you feel a light-headed, "I will eat you later okay?" Jeonghan says, "Don't worry, I will eat you out and I will let you fuck me, you just need to tell me what you need."
"Just," You hiccup, "Just like that."
Jeonghan listens to you, even though the position is not the best to his wrist and he could do so much better - but you just keep babbling on and on about how you are almost there, how he just needs to stay like that, how you are feeling so good that he listens to you, how could he not when you are almost coming undone against his fingers?
And then you bring Jeonghan's face up to a kiss, his mind was too focused on his fingers disappearing against your folds to catch on earlier, but you don't seem to mind when you lick against his mouth and finally cum. Jeonghan holds you against his body for a few seconds when he finally hears you groan.
"God I am so sticky," you complain and he finally laughs.
Jeonghan though, keeps his promise and he eats you out after that, and he fucks you too, and then, he just forgets he has his own room.
It is weird how much you two fit each other. And how seamlessly you two turn into boyfriend-girlfriend situations, or legally, husband-wife, but who cares about silly papers really?
Everything is normal really - Jeonghan keeps saying he need just a better Ttoram version before you two start promoting on social media. You two keep sharing dinners, and Jeonghan even makes a point about how the two of you need to go on a date. You bribe him, telling him he needs to call Cheol before the wedding - and he just shrugs and picks his phone up calling his best friend, you almost scream, it was that easy?
You two share everything, you don't know why but Jeonghan just chooses your bed to sleep in, you question him saying you want to sleep on his bed too - it just smells like you, is nice - he says before making a weird noise after face planting one of your pillows. 
It comes to the point that you get weirded out when you wake up and he is not on your bed. When you pick yourself up and finally drag your body out of the bed - something weird happens, an unknown voice resonates in your house - okay not yours, Jeonghan's but...
You find Jeonghan in the kitchen, back facing you, sipping a cup of tea with another woman. A very gentle elderly lady, her hair is almost all white, and everything about her screams grandma. She sees you before you can say anything,
"Hi dear," even her voice is gentle.
"Han?" You ask when Jeonghan stares at you, eyes fondly taking up your sleepy self.
"Hey baby, come here," He says opening his arms, "come here Iris was talking about how she was visiting her third grandson can you believe that?"
You could, sure, everything about her screamed grandma in uppercase letters, but what was happening?
"Yes," the old lady answers, "where was I?" she claps before she picks back up again, "See like I was telling you, Aroon's mom is my youngest daughter, and her pregnancy hadn't been the easiest so that's why I couldn't bring the table back," she says and you neck almost snaps, looking at Jeonghan's, he is so proud of himself that you almost scream. "So I'm sorry dear, your husband told me how much it meant to you but I was out of town so-"
God, he looks so proud and so full of himself, he couldn't be happier right now. God, you are so deeply in love with him. You could marry him all over again.
[BONUS SCENE ONE - THE WEDDING}
“Are we doing this for real?” You ask and the world is kinda spinning a little bit, by your side, Jeonghan holds your hand. You both stare at this little chapel, the Elton John one because you said that you would prefer to be married with don't go breaking my heart, Tiny Dancer or even Berry and the Jets as a soundtrack than any of the Elvis’s songs and of course Jeonghan listened, he listened to everything you said. What a fucker, how could you not be in love with this guy? What? Wait-
“Of course, we are doing this, we made a bet,” Jeonghan says still staring at the chapel.
“Only because we made a bet,” you say looking at him. When Jeonghan turns his head to look at you something inside you sings a bit - like a doll with something in the inside broke and jiggling inside.
“Of course darling, only because we made a bet,” Jeonghan says, holding your hand firmly, he smiles at you, and out of nowhere he is running inside the building and you follow him around because why not?
It seemed like a fucking great idea, and you both did lose the bet, even though right now you can't really think straight - how does a bet work? Can both people lose a bet at the same time? You are not totally sure but you guess Jeonghan is right, it can happen.
[BONUS SCENE TWO - BIOGRAPHY]
When Jeonghan finally opens the hotel door you almost fall in the room, but before you fall face flat on the floor Jeonghan's hands save you from breaking your nose.
“Wow, what a gentlemanly husband I have,” You say, tapping his chest.
“Sure, sure, perfect husband material right here,” Jeonghan says pointing at himself the door still open.
“You are,” you gushed, hands on his shoulders searching for some kind of balance, using these high heels shows was so wrong, but you knew at least you would be pretty in your wedding pics, and in the end, that’s all that matters - the pictures for your own autobiography that you will make for your grandchildren. You always told Jeonghan that you would make one for him too, with every single thing he gave you as a safe keep and the collection of pictures you have of him in different times of his life. You have pictures of Jeonghan with his long hair, with his short hair, the time he died it was almost white because he thought it would be so so cool and ended up hating how it fucked up his scalp. You had the material, you had the story, and you could do his biography, the funny thing now it is that his grandchildren could be yours too.
“What are you laughing at?” Jeonghan says, kneeling at your feet and taking your shoes off, wow, a life-saver.
“I just thought about grandchildren,” you squealed in a high-pitched voice that you didn’t know you had until Jeonghan’s hand found your hips.
“Grandchildren?”He asks you softly.
“The biographies,” you say and Jeonghan nods, “I was thinking about how I always pictured us together when we were gray and old in a nursing home together all that jazz, but know that I thought about it, your family will be my family so the grandchild will be the same kids, I won’t do your biography for your grandchildren I will do your biography for my grandchildren as well that changes a lot of things,”
“Like what?” He asks amused
“I don’t know if I want to tell them about the time you were sure to have gonorrhea or something like that”
“I do think we can let this story die with us,”
“wait, now that I am thinking about it like we only have one family," You say, a pouting on your lips, and Jeonghan almost melts, "that means only one visit in the nursing home because like when our family as separate entities we would have two families so two visit yours and mine now that I think about it I think we should divorce
“We are not divorcing," Jeonghan says.
“We can annul It,” you try again.
“We won't do it,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head like you are talking nonsense.
“But two visits are better than one,” You say showing him your fingers and trying to make him understand that two are indeed better than one, boys like girls even sang about this, was Jeonghan dumb?
“I won't have a family if it isn't your family,” Jeonghan says plopping down on the bed.
“Of course you can have a family,” you are sure of it Jeonghan is amazing there is nothing stopping him.
“But I don't want to,” Jeonghan whines looking at you and you get it, you finally get it.
“Damn boy you are crazy about me,” you say laughing, laying on his side.
“Now you are catching up,” Jeonghan says while his arms close around you.
“Still think two is a bigger number”
[BONUS SCENE - SHOULD WE?]
Jeonghan, your husband of three years, is eating on the kitchen counter and you can almost hear the gears in his brain turning and twisting. Sometimes, you think that maybe, Jeonghan is like a toy that he built the week prior, if you pick him up and shake him around you can hear loose parts of him rattling inside of himself.
“What are you thinking about?” You ask while opening the fridge.
“Should we go to Vegas again?” He asks taking a bit of his breakfast.
“Vegas?” you say - your head peaking and your body stretched so you can face him while the fridge door is open. 
“I was thinking we should renew our vows,” he says like he is thinking about buying lunch because he cannot bring himself to cook, “you know, I want you to actually remember our wedding.”
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im-poe-dameron · 3 months
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THE HEART OF A SHIP
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a/n: this fic is a result of wine and rewatching the force awakens. honestly my brain always short circuits whenever oscar isaac comes on screen. so i had to do something. it was meant to be small, but i literally couldn't stop writing so it became this. it's an idea that has been lingering in my head for awhile, i just had to let it simmer for a bit. and now it's fully cooked.
summary: you and poe were inevitable. two asteroids set on a course to crash into one another. a celestial event that would happen whether you wanted it or not. you just never expected it to happen so soon.
word count: 3.4k+
pairing: poe dameron x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, alcohol consumption, love confessions sort of??, poe being romantic as fuck, p in v sex, guided masturbation, biting, sex in an x-wing, sex in a public place, unedited but we live and die by the fucking pen.
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Intoxicating.
That was the only way you’d describe him. The only word that ever did him justice. He was the human embodiment of an Antakarian Fire Dancer. You got hammered on it one year after two glasses of the amber liquid, proceeding to forget half the night yet eager for more. Nothing could describe the man before you better. It simply wouldn’t do him justice. He was the itch beneath your skin that you could never satisfy, the reason you stood there now.
A glass of that amber liquid in both hands.
He’d disappeared from the celebration. An hour in from congratulations and happy faces, you watched him leave when no one was looking. And you did nothing to stop it. You knew he wasn’t one to relish in the joys of battle well done. Always intent on focusing towards the next thing—the next fight. It’s how you knew Leia would make him General, why he was so good at leading, at keeping the people he loved safe.
“Leaving without saying goodbye is rude, you know.”
He jumped slightly where he stood, his back to you, a holopad in one hand and a tool in the other. Of course he’d be here, fixing his X-Wing in silence. His own little ritual. You couldn’t count how many times you found him here after a fight, finalizing the last few checks before he caught some sleep. If he slept at all. Poe always seemed to be on the move no matter the time of day—a constant in the Resistance even when everyone else seemed to have lost faith.
“I said goodbye,” he joked, head turning slightly to see you come around, the holopad getting traded for a glass. “Just couldn’t see you in the crowd.”
You smiled. “You’re a shit liar Dameron.”
“I know.” He took a sip, winced, and laughed—the sound practically lighting you up inside. Igniting you like a fucking lightsaber.
“What’s the damage report?” 
“Nothing I can’t fix.” He glanced back at the scraped up hunk of metal he loved more than anything. The amount of care he put into keeping her going was admirable—if a little insane at times.
But he was right. The damage was nothing he couldn’t fix.
“Are you sure you don’t need help?” The smile still played on your lips, eyes alight and aiming to start something you wanted him to finish.
Poe caught onto it quicker than you expected. He could see it before you followed him out of the celebration. A promise that lingered in the air from months of longing looks and timid words. Something inevitable and real. So much so that you were willing to bet everything that he felt exactly the same way you did.
You wanted each other. That was clear from day one. But doing something about it became difficult when war was a constant and lives were put in peril on the daily. Poe didn’t want to leave you broken beyond repair if he never made it back. Just as you didn’t want to do the same to him.
The fucked up thing about it though was Poe would mourn you either way. He’d live his life half a man if you never graced him with your presence again. If you weren’t around to smile at him from across rooms and laugh at his shitty jokes. He was pretty sure he’d already started. Being away from you was like a poison he constantly had to take, a pain he didn’t want to endure. And if it were up to him…he’d choose you every time.
No matter the consequences.
“You ever been in an X-Wing before?” he asked, trying to see past the bits and pieces of the ache that hurt you both.
You rolled your eyes and Poe felt his chest tighten. “You know I haven’t. I’m not pilot material.”
“Sounds like bantha shit to me starlight.”
The name you’d heard so many times before echoed differently to you now. You wanted to break through its meaning and find the promise within. The antidote to this fucking ache that stuck to your chest. You wanted to rip it out and grind it up. You wanted to finally take what you desired, relish in the feel of calling him yours without the pain of knowing what came next. The both of you were trying to save your emotions—protect yourselves—but there was no use.
Poe had found a home in your heart and he was there to stay.
“Come with me.”
When it came to him you had no choice but to listen, following dutifully behind in a haze of want. He climbed up the ladder on the side of his ship, plopping down into the seat with the grace of a pilot who’d done it a million times before. The movement now muscle memory at this point. Whereas you clambered up—buzzed on one drink—nearly falling into the cockpit. He grabbed your arm at the last minute, helping you slowly maneuver your way in, until you were perched on this lap.
The seat was barely big enough to fit him let alone you as well. And yet…you’d never felt more comfortable. He pulled you back slightly, hands pressed to your hips, chest snugly placed against your back. With every intake and exhale of breath, you felt him move. Felt his body shift. If you focused, you knew you would be able to feel his heartbeat. The rhythmic thump you’d grown accustomed to.
“Now—“ He precariously balanced his glass on the dash. “Your hands go here.” Covering your hands with his, he showed you how he’d position himself if he were flying. The cold touch of the buttons and knobs beneath your fingers sent electricity up your spine. “These are to shoot.” Another shift. “And this is to aim.”
You sucked in a breath. “Seems complicated.”
“Not at all.” His fingers slid up your arm, chin coming to rest on your shoulder. You tried to remember how to take a single breath. “You just have to understand how the ship works. How she moves, what she likes.”
Your breath hitched, body leaning into him more, and finally you felt it. The wall holding both of you back crumbled to the ground. All that remained now was the will to finally do something about it. So you let his hands guide you, watching in anticipation as they moved to your own body, pressing your palms into your stomach.
“There’s always a heart of a ship,” he murmured, moving your hand down. “A pilot guiding the way.”
“Poe…”
"After all, we've got to guide the ship back home." A soft whimper left your lips, your nails digging into the meat of your thighs to contain yourself. If the cockpit of his ship wasn't so fucking small, you had no doubt you'd be spread on his lap, lips connected to his already.
He grinned, his lips brushing across the back of your neck. “For me…” He stopped right above the hem of your pants, your fingers aching to finally delve down further. “That’s always been you.”
The alcohol had all but burned out of your system from how warm you were. His touch guiding yours seemed to have lit something in the base of your stomach, causing it to spread outwards. And you needed more. Your head fell back against his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed your hand beneath the coarse fabric of your pants. The feeling of him cupping your mound—using you all the while—sent a jolt across your body; a soft moan falling free past your lips.
“Maker starlight,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire. “You’re so fucking wet.”
He wasn't wrong. You could feel yourself dripping the longer he spoke, his words affecting you more than you anticipated. Ever since you first met, Poe always held a power over you. A reminder that no matter how many times you tried to rid yourself of him, no matter what you did...he would remain burned into your soul. He'd be part of you until you drew your final breath in this galaxy.
"It's cause of you," you gasped, your fingers and his sliding through your slick. Running along the lips of your cunt, skimming past your clit entirely. "Oh—"
The scrape of his teeth along your neck nearly did you in entirely, the plea hanging off the tip of your tongue in anticipation. He was toying with you. Playing you like a fucking instrument and listening to your melody. Drowning in the sounds you made—the ones he dreamed of. If there was a life after this, a fated place he could go to rest, he'd want it to be here. Crammed into this cockpit with you on his lap, the feel of you sliding through his fingers and the echo of your voice breathing his name sweeter than the alcohol you had handed him earlier.
Poe would do whatever he could to make this moment last just a minute longer.
"Need you."
He kissed the junction where your neck and shoulder met, fingers still guiding yours through your own heat. "I know you do starlight. But you're gonna cum for me like this first." Your sweet little gasp ripped him a part. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to stave off nearly coming in his pants. "Let me guide you."
You nodded and spread your legs as wide as they could go in the cramped space. It wasn't very far, nor did it give him space to do what he really wanted to do to you, but it would have to do for now. The noise of the celebration in the distance only grew louder as people consumed more alcohol, the joy bleeding into the air. But you couldn't give a shit at that moment about why they were happy, or even what occurred before today.
You were lost to the depths that Poe pulled you into.
Heat spilled between your fingertips, a sticky mess starting between the two of you, but that seemed to only drive him forward. He pressed down, sliding your fingers into you with ease, his delving in right beside you—stretching you in a way that had your back arching. Wrapped his arm around your waist, he kept you still, his chin set on your shoulder and chest heaving with controlled breaths. A way for him to keep the last bits of his sanity as he felt your walls clamp around his fingers.
"Fuck baby," he grit between clenched teeth. "You really did need me huh?"
Nodding, you felt him press even further, fingers searching for something.
"You're gonna make a mess on me." Pumping his hand, he felt your body shudder—your mouth falling open as a ragged moan echoed in the ship. "Gonna take me so easily. I'll slip right in."
You burned from the inside out. A searing heat pulling tight across your body until you could nothing but fall into it. There was no fighting against that aching bliss, no running from what you wanted, what you dreamed of. Poe was intent on breaking you apart right there on his lap, and he'd watch with a smile on his face as you spilled yourself between the rough pads of his fingers. As you made a fucking mess on his lap.
"C'mon baby," he muttered, curling his fingers forward and nudging against something blinding. You cried out, hand grasping at his wrist to either pull him away or keep him right there. You couldn't tell at this point. And he smiled. "Is that it?" Rubbing against the spongy patch along your walls, he felt your entire body lock up, a whimpered sob breaking from your chest. "Yeah. That's fucking it."
You tried to warn him, his name a garbled echo of nonsensical letters on your tongue. But he already knew. His hand sped up, practically pushing your fingers out of the way as he gave you everything you wanted. Poe was certain that he wanted this more than you, that deep down he needed to know that you came because of him. That he was capable of turning you into a sobbing mess.
The echo of his pained grunt was loud in your ears, his hips pressing up into you to relieve the pressure of need he felt, and that's what did it. The knowledge that he was as gone as you were. That he had always wanted you.
Your walls fluttered around his fingers, a splintered moan falling past your parted lips as the pleasure spilled over. And he buried his face into your neck, a broken sound of his own muffled by your warm skin. He fought against finishing, biting into your shoulder as he worked you through your release. Adamant to make this last for you—to drag you to the Maker and back with a sated smile on your face.
Eventually you couldn't take it anymore, pleasure bleeding into pain, and you dragged his hand away. A breathless sigh of his name shooting right to his cock.
Without knowing it you had broken him for anyone else. Obliterated his ability to ever see someone the way he saw you.
You and your beauty. Your ability to render him speechless, breathless, and at your fucking mercy. For so long he was the ship lost in space with no sense of direction to lead him back to something real, a purpose. But then you settled into his heart. You became his pilot, guiding him through the never-ending void of space. You kept him afloat even as the weight of the galaxy threatened to drag him down, happy to watch him crash and burn in as so many others had done before.
"That was new," you giggled, hand reaching back to run through his hair.
He smiled, his heart twisting in his chest and fingers still covered in your slick coming to grip at your hips. "To think..." Pressing your ass down against his hard cock, he felt the breath hitch in your chest. "We could have been doing this the whole time."
"W-What a loss," you breathed, that now familiar all encompassing need filling your veins once more.
As if he knew your body so well already, he began to pull at your pants, helping you strip yourself to the best of your ability. The soft clinking of his belt echoed loudly in the cockpit and for a moment you were sure that people in the distance could hear it. But that thought quickly left your mind the second you felt the hot skin of his cock pressing against your lower back—his precum wet and sticky now smeared against your skin. Saliva filled your mouth, the ache pulling at your chest, clawing its way to the surface.
You didn't simply want him. That was too small of a word to explain the feeling in your body. You breathed for him. You lived for him. Poe was the blood that streamed in your veins, the reason your heart beat the way it did. Because it beat for him.
"Say you want this," he grunted, grinding against your skin, his fingers digging in harder than before. Until blood nearly pricked at the surface.
"Yes." The word was out of your mouth before he could even finish speaking. "Maker, I've wanted this for so long."
A growl hit your ears, his nose pressed into your back as he lifted you slightly, and you felt like you would rip to shreds if he didn't hurry. The head of his cock pressed against your entrance, sliding into you with slippery ease. And you pressed back against him, desperate to feel him sink into you fully. To be stretched out around his cock. Poe choked on his breath when your warm heat encompassed his throbbing length so suddenly, nearly throwing him off the edge entirely.
"Fuck starlight. You're gonna have to give me a second."
Your lips curled up into a grin. "Yes, General."
For a moment Poe could only process the breaths he took, the word entering his already blank mind. It wasn't until a searing heat shot up his spine at the sound of his title leaving your lips, did he fully understand. His hips pushed up into you, forcing him to sink just a bit deeper. You clutched at the side of the ship, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. The position had him pressing right along your walls, the underside of his cock grinding blissfully against you.
"I used to think you had no idea." He pushed you up slightly until his cock was halfway out and he glanced down, moaning at the sight of him covered in your slick. Only to pull you back down hard. Your choked cry was like music to his ears. "Didn't know what you do to me. How my whole fucking body belonged to you."
"Poe—"
He repeated the movement, smiling at the noises that came free. "But I was wrong."
A pressure quickly built in the base of your stomach, threatening to destroy you. And you chased it. Meeting his thrusts, you fucked yourself on his cock, hands pressed to the dash in front of you and back arched to find the perfect angle that made your toes curl in your boots. Ragged breaths filled the space, accompanied by broken moans and stunted grunts. Each one louder than the last as you both took and took and took, until the very edge of bliss mounted in your bodies.
He gripped the back of your neck, hand fisting at your hair as he pulled you back roughly against his chest. And you fell into it. Whining his name when he grinded up slowly, your walls clamped down around his cock. You could barely see straight through the burn of tears that glazed your eyes, a fucked out expression painted perfectly on your face. And Poe wished he could see you from where he was, catch a glimpse of the way your eyes rolled back, neck on display for him to bite.
"You know exactly what you do to me, starlight." His mouth fell open in a silent moan when his balls drew up painfully, cock throbbing along your walls. He quickly shoved his hand into your slick, fingers locating your clit with ease.
"Maker—" You heard him bite out your name like a prayer he couldn't get out fast enough. A plea for you to give him everything you had, everything that made you who you were. "I'm— Fuck I-I'm—"
"Yes," he groaned, using his other hand to cup your chin and pull your lips to his. Finally kissing you after years of dreaming it would happen. "Fucking give it to me baby."
His tongue licked into your mouth, swallowing every sound you made with ease. The feel of his lips against yours shoved you towards your release. A muffled cry of his name echoing in his mouth as your body went taut, thighs quaking as you gushed on his cock. He choked, mouth open and panting against yours, following you instantly and spilling into your cunt—filling you until you were sure it was dripping out of you and gathering at the base of him.
"Yours," he sighed against your lips, thumb running along the top of your cheek. "'M yours."
The twist of your heart brought you down from your high, your eyes fluttering open as he stared at your kiss swollen lips, the way his spit smeared along your bottom one. You expected him to take it back once he slipped out of you. Surely this was nothing but a dream, a moment in time that may never happen again. But in his eyes you saw devotion. You saw the inevitable future that was always bound to happen.
"Me too."
He smiled, nose brushing against yours. "Guess we're stuck with each other starlight."
"That doesn't sound too bad to me, General."
He tsked under his breath, fingers coming to grip your chin—brown eyes flashing up to meet your gaze. "You're causing trouble."
You grinned, grinding on his softened cock that was still buried deep in you. "And if I am?"
The feeling of his cock twitching inside you, slowly growing hard with interest. "Hands on the controls baby." He nipped at your bottom lip. "You know what to do."
A soft flutter filled your stomach as you followed his direction. Taking the lead in a dance that you were now familiar with. With Poe everything came with ease, as if you'd gone through it with him hundreds of times over. And guiding him home was just the beginning.
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whateverisbeautiful · 2 months
Text
♥️ Ranking Richonne
#22: He Needs You (S4E11)
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Rick and Michonne are two highly competent individuals and yet they still have this beautiful need for each other. In every sense. It was clear early in their relationship when Michonne told Rick, "Either way you need me" during the season 3 msf. It was clear in No Way Out, the iconic episode just before Richonne became canon, when Michonne saw Rick walk out into that horde and urgently said he needs my help. And it was made especially clear that Rick and Michonne need each other in this season 4 moment right here...
In those two s3 and s6 examples, it was Michonne being aware that Rick needs her, but in this beautiful scene in the great episode that is Claimed, it’s Rick revealing he too is aware of how much he needs Michonne.
And he needs her in the most vulnerable and important way because, even as early as season 4, Rick knew he needed Michonne when it came to his most cherished connection in the world - his son. 
Now, this scene holds a lot of personal significance to me in my own journey of falling in love with Richonne because when I finally emerged from the sunken place and realized Rick and Michonne had actually been falling in love for seasons, this was the first pre-canon scene I went back and rewatched post-canon. And truly my eyes were just wide open to the fact that this romantic relationship was a long time coming. 
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All I had to do was see this scene to be a believer that Richonne was in the works early and that these two didn’t just love and respect each other but also were very clearly physically attracted to each other and drawn to each other in a special way.
This moment is so important because it’s Rick and Michonne acknowledging their need for each other and essentially agreeing to parent together from here on out. 
So I already love seeing the scene beforehand with Carl and Michonne bonding at the table and laughing over stories of soy milk. And then seeing them both saddened by the mention of Judith is heartbreaking. But I’m so glad Michonne and Carl had each other to relate to and process with, as they do so movingly throughout this entire episode. 
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And I’m not the only one glad Michonne and Carl have each other - cuz in the next scene, Rick expresses exactly that. 
Michonne enters the kitchen where Rick is going through drawers, and one thing that lovely man is always going to do is thank Michonne so the first thing he says is "thank you." I love that Rick is so willing to express gratitude for Michonne’s presence in his and Carl's life.
After Rick and Carl’s hard times in the After episode, it was feeling like those boys might need divine intervention to truly heal…cue the ever-so-divine Michonne reentering their lives. 😌
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Rick is such a good dad for real, and I love that he’s thanking her for getting Carl to laugh and then gets vulnerable that he almost forgot what that sounded like. It's one of those early ways of Rick letting Michonne see a more human side of himself. And truly to be able to give a kid joy in that world - I know Rick feels like Michonne is invaluable for many reasons, but for that especially. 
Also it's sad seeing how absolutely bruised and battered Rick is after that brawl with the Governor. And the crazy thing is he'd be looking worse than this or straight up dead had Michonne not saved his life and killed the Governor. That's another reason why it's fitting for the first thing Rick says to Michonne post-prison to be "thank you." In a lot of ways, he's still here because of her. And the way Rick and Carl bring Michonne back to herself, she's still here because of them too. 🥰
Also watching this back…the way Michonne is reacting as she listens to him tho. 🤭 I just have to note again - Sis likes him, y’all. Like this is truly the crush era for both of them cuz her energy in this scene is giving “he gives me butterflies” a bit idk. Like she’s always composed of course, but Rick brings out a different subtle nervous energy to her. And she brings out the same in him, and I love to see it in this phase of their relationship. 
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Rick continues to be very honest with Michonne when he tells her that he can’t be Carl's father and best friend. And then the best part is Rick outright telling Michonne, "He needs you." Carl needs Michonne. 🥹 It's true tho. And Carl's dad, who knows his son best, knows this to be true.
This moment already was so moving but packs an even bigger punch now that we know Carl will so sincerely tell Michonne that she’s his best friend on his deathbed. And she'll confirm that he's hers too. 😭
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And I love that, even here in season 4, just one season after meeting her - Rick knows not just that Carl enjoys Michonne but really needs Michonne. It’s another huge moment of one being vulnerable with her and also entrusting her with this knowledge that she’s super important both to Carl and to him. Because really if Carl needs her, then Rick absolutely knows he himself needs her too, and I love that he didn’t shy away from telling her this.
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It’s cool that this time last season they were strangers, and now here Rick and Michonne are in this house looking like a whole family and talking about needing each other. And it’s also great how this is the two of them talking in the early stages of parenting their kids when they will later go on to have a baby too. What a journey. 🥰
I love that Michonne gets to tap back into her mother side with Carl back in her life. She tried to shut that part of herself off after losing little Andre but it’s still so clearly in her, and it’s beautiful the way Carl (and Judith in that moving scene when Michonne cries holding baby Judith in the prison) brought that out of her again.
It’s also really sweet that Rick acknowledges that’s a lot to throw at her. Rick was thrown into being a single dad so suddenly in season 3, and while going through his own trauma and pain, he still tries so hard to be a good dad to Carl. And even knowing he needs Michonne in Carl's life, he still doesn’t want to overwhelm her with it, especially cuz he knows she’s the independent go-out-on-my-own-to-hunt-down-crazy-governors type.
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I noticed that even early pre-canon Rick seemed to be mindful of what Michonne wanted and needed, especially because deep down he didn’t want to lose her.  And I love that as Rick and Michonne's love story continued to unfold, he'd learn he never has to worry about losing her because she's with him always. 😊
So Rick says, "if you ever feel like you need a break..." but Michonne makes it clear that she’s here to stay when she speaks for the first time in the scene and assuredly says, "I’m done taking breaks."
I love how even tho Michonne didn’t talk a ton in the early seasons whenever she did speak it was just powerful and impactful. And you know she means it when she says this. She loves these Grimes boys and she’s not leaving them anymore.
This really is the season they become family and parents together without ever looking back. I love that Michonne gets this confirmation that she’s needed and valued and gets to give Rick this confirmation that so is he, and she's in it with them for the long haul.
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Rick nods and then they have those signature lingering looks. Then Michonne asks what the plan is and if this place is home. That’s always very telling to me because it shows she’d be willing to establish a long-term home with them. #family.
I really feel like if both of them had found different members of tf they might be thinking more urgently about finding others, but when the three of them found each other, they found who they most needed and who they could really stop and build a fulfilling life with if they wanted.
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Rick says, "Let’s just stay here while we figure it out," and then they have this quiet long moment of just staring at each other again. That clear sexual tension makes them fidgety a little bit. 😋 And like, why are these stares between them always so long? 🤭 #HereForIt.
I love this era where Rick and Michonne so clearly make each other feel a type of way in a way no one else could and they think they're being subtle about it when they're not lol. Like I know the direct quote from both their minds in this house is, “You’re about as fine as can be and now I’m really out here in an apocalypse catching feelings.” Lol, they just be mesmerized with each other and can’t help it.
Tell me both their expressions in this scene aren't a little bit or a lotta bit giving...
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And also I think Rick knows that he’s suggesting he wants her to stay put with them for an indefinite amount of time and is a little nervous about if Michonne would be willing to do that with them, hence his expression. 
Michonne shows she is willing to settle in here with them when she nods and says she’ll get the supplies they need with Carl, and Rick quickly offers to go. You know these Get Things Done Grimes are always willing to go get things done. Rick and Michonne have always had that in common.
But they’ve also always had it in common to look out for the other, and so Michonne reminds Rick that he was unconscious the other day, which 😢. Like hearing that made me think dang Rick was really fighting for his life with these injuries and still trying to be a good dad and thoughtful toward Michonne while even in and out of consciousness. Real one.
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Rick says, "I'm awake today" as if being full unconscious the day before is old news lol. He's like...
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But Michonne then expresses her and Carl's need for Rick when she says, "We need you strong." Again I love that they need each other, and they know it and voice it.
And I especially love that Michonne so soothingly tells him to "Just rest. One more day." Cuz truly resting is a rare luxury in that world, but Michonne really can give Rick that luxury.
As much as Rick and Michonne are go-getters, they’ve also shown they're good at reminding the other to take a break, and that’s so refreshing, needed, and important. We got us a balanced couple, y'all. 👌🏽
Michonne speaks to Rick so compassionately, it reminds me of how she speaks and looks at him when she tells him he gets a few more days in their honeymoon ep Say Yes. (Also, this s4 scene shows they’ve been giving each other the heart eyes for the longest.) And you know Rick is going to listen and agree after she tells him to rest.
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Michonne walks out of the kitchen, and seeing Rick turn and watch her go...that was my first moment of realizing oh he’s been checking her out for seasons. It’s great. (and it made his hand placement at the end of their canon ep make a lot of sense lol)
Lingering on this shot of him watching her walk gives such an indicator of attraction to me. Cuz yes Rick has an overall appreciation for her, of course, but he could’ve been appreciative while continuing to look out the window like he just was lol. That turn around and attentively watching her go was cuz Rick likes what he’s seeing. Always has. 😌
And I bet Michonne's walk would be on the list of things Rick loves about her, just like Rick’s walk is on the list of things she loves about him. 
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Both of their energy in this season 4 scene just screams that whatever they have between them is not just platonic. And they’re just such parents in this ep. I love that the next scene is Rick again sending Carl out on a run alone with Michonne. He seriously trusts her to have done this twice now so early in their relationship, both in this ep and in Clear.
And when Rick says, "follow her lead" to Carl, and Michonne winks at Rick, letting him know she’ll make sure their kid is taken care of and gets something to eat on their run - issa whole mom and dad. 🤗
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Rick, Michonne, and Carl really did find their truest home within each other, and in this ep, you can see how true that is. So I love this episode for really establishing Richonne as parents together and solidifying the lovely Grimes 2.0.
And it's great how Rick and Michonne’s deep need for each other so beautifully evolved into deep romantic love for each other too, as their family tree grew even more with the adorable addition of RJ. 🤗
Richonne's journey from Rick telling Michonne their son Carl needs her in season 4 to them having a son of their own in season 9, just goes to show we stan a ship with an abundance of riches. Boundlessly blessed, y'all. 😌
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valentine-writes · 7 months
Note
Hello!! I absolutely adore your spot HC!
I was wondering if you could write something pre-collider accident? When he was working for alchemax ^^
I would adore more content about him and reader being coworkers, maybe this is way too self indulgent, but I crave some good enemies/rivals to lovers with this man. I think the dynamic would be so fun ^^
competitive
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「 tws + notes: possibly ooc, no tws, unedited, rivals to lovers (which i hope i do justice), pre-collider johnathan ohnn, reader and johnathan are petty,,, can u tell i like writing him mildly bitchy, plz forgive any conflicts w/ canon i researched but im like 99.9% sure there r still errors 」
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「 gn!reader, romantic relationship <3 」
↳ ft. johnathan ohnn/the spot
author's note: ouughh i love this sooo much,,, thank u AUDHEWUFHEW o((>ω< ))o !!! im so excited to write more of pre-collider him,, ignore me as i feverishly research every bit of canon info i can get cuz i haven't been able 2 rewatch the movie yet i hope this is to ur liking! enemies to lovers is not my strong suit,, but OHOUWHUDHEWH RIVALS TO LOVERS!!! UNDERUTILIZED!!! might hafta make a part two tho,,, locked in on the rivals part,,, lovers part in progress. ok no more of my rambles
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▸ ever since you had arrived at alchemax, you and johnathan just couldn't seem to get along. not a particularly useful thing, considering you both worked for the same research company where teamwork was vital though, you insisted you had no real spite for him, the second you had gotten the job, you just seemed to one-up him in every single way.
every. single. way.
▸ when given a deadline, you'd finish in half the time it took him. when completing research, you have the information compiled when he was just starting to organize his.
hell, you even succeeded in being more proficient socially. how had you made so many friends already?
▸ he had to admit you were terribly charming too– a trait he was particularly envious of– and from the few times he's seen you get coffee with one or two of the other scientists, he knew that everyone seemed to think the same
not like he was paying that much attention to you as he saw you laughing with another coworker through the cafe window. foam party? sounds boring anyways, whatever
▸ he wasn't mad because he was lonely, or saw himself as inferior to you. johnathan had friends and honestly didn't consider himself particularly bad at making them. johnathan knew he was intelligent and that with his work, he could accomplish something big.
no, this problem had nothing to do with him. it was you. besides you, all the things he worked hard for was just second nature.
how annoying.
▸ your sworn rivalry had been one-sided for the longest of time to any witnesses. grumbling under his breath while he passed you, making a great effort to speak curtly with you, and was certainly not beyond intentionally knocking his shoulder into yours when he passed the look you shot at him for doing this was enough to make him wither on the spot– unintentional joke. my bad.
but he knew you were just as competitive as he was. the way you acted just had to be intentional. some of your remarks towards him were too pointed to ignore– your smiles and your friendliness nothing more than keeping it as civil as possible in a workplace setting.
professionalism, masking a deeper intention: to outdo him.
▸ and once you had figured that your feigned innocence would no longer keep you afloat, that's when the true rivalry began. an ambition-fuelled climb to the top to be better than the other.
it manifested more childishly than you two cared to admit.
"you know, chewing on pens isn't great for your enamel." johnathan practically jumps out of his seat, your words effectively snapping him out of his completely focused state.
he grumbles, looking over at you while lowering the pen away from his mouth a habit that i have too... guys look away itz not projecting...
you only shrug your shoulders. "just saying, johnny."
"don't call me that." he retorts, trying not to roll his eyes. "are you here just to bother me with unsolicited comments about my habits and dental advice?"
you laugh and he feels his face heat up in annoyance. you and your stupid laugh. he's heard enough of it around the workplace while you chatted amongst the others. it was a sound he could live without.
"so hostile. we work together, y'know?" you grin. there's a glimmer of amusement in your eyes. you were getting on his nerves and you knew it.
"anyways, i just came to ask if you had a pen i could borrow. preferably not one with teeth marks." the last part is tacked on so briefly that johnathan didn't even have time to be offended about it before he replied.
he looks at you dead in the face. "sorry. i don't have an extra pen on me."
you glance at the completely untouched, unused, ballpoint pen on his desk and then back at him. he says nothing, staring at you silently, before you get the hint decide to go ask someone else.
▸ it gets pettier.
imagine johnathan eying up a coworker, getting all blushy and stumbling over his words around them.
and within a week, you've got their number– and he passes by the two of out in that STUPID FUCKING HIPSTER CAFE GODDAMMIT–
it's not that serious to him. he can move on from a workplace crush. he however, can't move on from the fact you swooped in before he even got a chance. you never care to bring up that on your little coffee date with that person ended up being a disaster– maybe it was for the better they stayed away from him
▸ of course, he was able to outdo you too. his biggest success?
"so," johnathan flinched away, about to walk out the glass doors of alchemax and head home for the day– only to find you with your back leaning against the frame, arms crossed. "heard you got put in charge over something pretty important."
he curses under his breath. "you can't just sneak up on people like that."
"i was literally standing here in plain sight the entire time."
"were you waiting for me or something?" he asks sarcastically. johnathan seems somewhat surprised when you don't respond, awkwardly averting your gaze from him for a moment hm. guess that's a "yes"...
"doesn't matter." you reply, shoving your hands in your pockets. "so... you're working on a portal thingy?"
"i'm one of the people overseeing it, yes." he huffs, trying to answer your questions quickly and just get the hell home. but as you figured, he had all the time in the world when it came to correcting you.
"and– the word portal is inaccurate."
you raise an eyebrow. "yeah?"
"it's a particle accelerator. you should know what that means. the goal of this project is to essentially create a passageway– a bridge, if you will– between two separate dimen–"
"so, a portal." you interrupt.
he glares at you and you swear his eye twitches.
"just wanted to know. congrats, ohnn." you say casually, before exiting out the door.
the next time he sees you, he discovers that head scientist, olivia octavius who just so happens to be fond enough of your work to hear you out when you asked her decided it would be a good idea to have you work on the project as well.
even though johnathan was still technically still ahead of you– he kicked himself for how quickly you were beginning to catch up. you flashed him a grin from your desk as you began to help out on the project– he forced one back through gritted teeth.
▸ after tirelessly working on the project together as a team still trying your very best to outdo one another he figures this feud of yours is getting nowhere.
you've both spent sleepless nights on this project you both equally cared for,, it was time to just give up and be normal coworkers. an odd conclusion for johnathan to reach as a notorious grudge holder. maybe the lack of rest was getting to him, too exhausted to even deal with you anymore. or maybe, he was satisfied where he was right now– on the verge of a huge breakthrough with him being one of the main contributors– he no longer needed the pleasure of being better than you.
"how did you even get this number?" you ask, recognizing his voice through the phone as he greeted you.
"well, funny thing actually. alchemax has all the employee information on files, so i just–"
the realization hits you. "snooped through mine to get my phone number?! you're insane!"
he's desperate to explain, just trying to get to his point without getting a headache from you. "no, no, no– wait, i didn't come to fight or anything–"
"then what do you want, johnathan? a little medal? a trophy or somethin? you're probably getting that anyways after this whole thing– so,, so– what? what is it?!" you snap.
this is the only blatant hostility you've ever shown him. both ends of the call fall silent.
"wow uh– that was a lot." he mumbles awkwardly.
"...'m sorry." the shame makes your ears burn up. it is getting childish. you can't deny it.
he blinks at his phone, before bringing it back up to his ear. "did you just apologize? have i got the right person?"
it's your turn to groan. "are you trying to get me to take it back?"
"no! no, no, no– sorry." he replies quickly, stuttering as he tries to get back on track. "i just wanted to talk...."
the words hang in the air for much longer than needed.
"just spit it out already." you inturrupt.
"we should truce." he blurts out. "you know... maybe we should calm down. start over."
johnathan pauses for a moment, waiting for a reaction from you. you give him absolutely nothing. he takes a deep breath before speaking up again.
"i just thought it'd be better this way. this is getting ridiculous. and i think we're both mature enough to move past it so–"
"no, thank you."
he falters momentarily, processing what you had just said. "i'm– i'm sorry, i think misheard you."
"no, you heard me," you repeat, your smile clear as day in your voice, "no. thank. you."
"i like what we've got going on. keeps me motivated." the sweetness in your tone makes him cringe.
"you can't be serious." he rubs the bridge of his nose, fighting off the urge to lose his mind.
"oh, but i am." you lean into your phone's mic, voice dropping to a whisper. "just give me time. i'll catch up with you eventually."
your stubborness was truly something else.
"nope. can't do this, not today, nope–"
you laugh to yourself, hearing him hang up. you secretly hoped he'd at least keep talking to you a little longer. probably just a result of being a tad sleep deprived too.
▸ the collider is almost finished. ever since the phone call, you and johnathan hadn't talked for days.
and now, there you were, at his desk.
"need a pen?" he asks, looking up at you, expecting you to bother him again.
you shake your head. "actually, i came to ask for something else. i've been thinking about what you said..."
the words catch in your throat. you stare at the ground, the humiliation of what you're about to say causing you to fidget with your hands. he's never seen you like this– timid and anxious in his presence rather than smug and confident. it's a sight that he thought would bring him joy– but he's far beyond that now. instead, he looks at you curiously, not unlike the way he observes specimens.
"go on..." he says, leaning in slightly.
you meet his gaze sheepishly. "yeah. maybe a truce doesn't sound so bad."
he smiles back, cautious but hopeful. "you mean it?"
"this isn't me surrendering." you're quick to say, though your defensiveness falls flat, only causing his smile to fade for a moment. "i'm growing bored of it. we can just move on." it's not what he had in mind– but he'll take it.
"okay. sounds... good?" he replies awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
"mhm. so, you still have my phone number, right?"
he freezes. "yes... but– um– i can just delete it from my contacts now if– if you want. that was weird of me to do. really sorry 'bout that. just wanted to talk."
"nah. keep it." you say with a slight shrug of your shoulders. he tilts his head slightly at your reaction.
"i'll text you when work's done so we can grab a coffee or somethin." there's that smile he's grown so familiar with. this time it has no undertones of aggression– something which he finds more unnerving somehow. he can't tell what you're up to.
"i– uh– what–" he stammers.
you await the rejection.
"i mean– sure... but... you want that?" he asks, his tone careful, like he expects this to just be a scheme of yours. never in a million years would he think that you'd want to actually resolve whatever conflict you had going on. much less, spend time with him outside of work.
" i mean, i just offered, didn't i?"
"right– ...so uh– after work then. okay. it's a date."
he mentally kicks himself for the last part. "i– not like– a date, date, but–"
you don't give him time to stumble over his words and make a fool of himself.
"great." you turn to leave, but glance over your shoulder before walking away. "see you later, johnny."
▸ you failed to acknowledge this earlier, and maybe he had too– but over the course of your mutual rivalry, you found that you admired him. his brain, his work, his sheer tenacity– and he admired you too.
perhaps you didn't have to be better than one another.
"here's to new beginnings." you mutter to yourself, shooting him a text while waiting at the cafe.
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madwomansapologist · 9 months
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Please make more chapters for you look like you've seen a ghost I'm dying for more. It's too good to just be a one shot 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
you look like you've seen a ghost | Part 2
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Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | First Part | AO3
synopsis: You love the ability to see colors, but you love your boyfriends more.
warnings: soulmate!au. slasher themes. fluff. estabilished relationship. just a peace of their future.
note: your wish is my command. I hope you like it!
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You're obsessed with TV. Not with horror movies, or movies in general, or any kind of sitcom. You're obsessed with TV. The device. How can a metal tub display so many images? How something can be aired by a TV channel and make half way through the world until your home? And if you press a buton... it changes. It just changes.
Don't matter how much science evolves, somethings are better when explained by magic. Just like lightning. There was a time when people would tell stories about Zeus to a kid who questioned why it's lightning, and now, because of science, people have to admit that they don't fucking know.
But you don't really care about how a TV works. What you really care, the reason for you to spend so much time in front of it, its the colors. Oh, the colors. Before you started seeing them, you convinced yourself that they weren't that big of a deal. People were exagerating. But they weren't.
Northem lights. Emeralds. The starry sky. Monarchy butterfly. Blur view in front of a traffic light. Pomegranates. Sparks flying. Fireworks. Red lipstick. Vincent van Gogh.
It took you some time to understand that your reality changed, your favorite movie turned into your life, and for a time it was scary as hell. But then you meet them. You saw colors. And maybe, just maybe, that was the universe being generous. Because to let you see all those things, feel all that love, can only be an act of compassion.
"You look like a child", Stu threw himself on the sofa, making you bounce. "What's so excited about Clueless? That's the millionth time you watch it."
"Everything about Clueless is perfect", you yawned. Straightening your posture, you rubbed your eyes. You haven't blinked in a while. "It's so colorful."
You thought Stu would laugh, but he didn't. "I'm rewatching every Nightmare on Elm Street because I love the red tone of Freddy's blouse."
"Seven movies?" Stu agreed. "You don't have time to watch a single episode of Kenan & Kel with me, but have time to rewatch seven movies?"
Stu pulled you closer, almost causing you to drop the popcorn on the floor. It still surprises you how strong he really is. He slipped his fingers inside your shirt, icy fingers ruffling your hips. Stu tried to kiss you, but you stuffed your mouth with popcorn.
"Oh... That's how it is then? Ok." Stu filled his hand with popcorn stuffed it on his mouth. He chewed a bit before saying something that sounded almost like: "This is a game for two."
Before you could react, Stu kissed you. It was the most disgusting thing that have ever happened to you. Drooling popcorn fall out of both of your mouths because it was impossible to not laugh. You coughed, choking on a grain, and all the excess popcorn flew right into his face.
"Can someone remind me why i'm with you two?"
It was Billy who was speaking, but that wasn't his voice. As you turned toward the door, Ghostface was leaning against the frame. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest at the sight of blood glistening on the black fabric.
"Fate", that probably was what Stu were trying to say. He laughed, and coughed the rest of popcorn on his mouth into the plastic bucket. "Luck. Chance."
"Are you okay?" You were trying to be serious, but the popcorn got in your way. "Someone hurted you?"
Billy threw the voice modulator away, and walked towards you in silence. You had already swallowed the rest of the popcorn when he bent down to your height. Billy braced his hands on the couch, each on either side of your head, and you could picture him smirking inside that fantasy.
"Don't I look fine, my love?" You could smell the blood. Billy carressed your cheek with his gloved hand, his thumb bumped into your lips. You kissed it. "Do you think someone can hurt me?"
"I can!" Stu shouted.
"Shut up, Shaggy." You snapped. Looking back to Billy, you pouted. "You're late."
Billy carressed you bottom lip a last time before moving away from you both. "Clueless? Again?" Billy took the mask off. He was fine. Billy was safe and sound. "You will never get tired of it?"
"It's colorfull", Stu explained, filling more popcorn on his mouth. When he realized why it was wet, he spat and put the bucket on the floor.
"Do you have room for me there?" Billy pointed to the couch.
"Of course we do", Stu took the control without you noticing. "Movie marathon? I vote on Hannibal."
"I hate that I'll have to wait until 2005 to watch Pride & Prejudice", you complained. You noticed Billy taking the fantasy off. "You better take a shower. You won't stain my couch."
"We'll see about that."
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GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
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analogwriting · 4 months
Text
quick disclaimer, this is the first fic I've written in YEARS but it's been consuming my brain. this was a series of dreams i had when i was rewatching one piece and i just kind of stitched them together. it's gonna be an agonizing slowburn too bc i love to torture myself and others frfr. I'm going to try to make this as gender neutral as possible.
It Comes in Waves
Prologue: Deep Water Waves
Trafalgar Law x gn!reader word count: 1.9k next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re actually the first person who hasn’t treated him like a monster.” A weak laugh came from a young man whose face resembles somewhat of a jester type and a feathery, dark coat. He shook his head, patting the head of the small boy in the hospital bed. The small child said nothing, just stared at the window. Despite the somewhat gloomy atmosphere around the child, it was a bright and sunny day. As it typically was on this particular island.
They had turned up on this island by chance, the young man having misplaced the map they did have. The weather and ambiance was tropical, the land itself - small. The people were as warm as its atmosphere. It was also an island that wasn’t exactly on the map. The young man traveling with the child just happened upon it anyhow. He had misplaced his map and they ended up just sailing to the next island they saw. It wasn’t until they arrived that they realized it was an uncharted island.
The people were surprised to see them. The young child stuck close with the man he was with. And this man was tall. Easily towered over everyone in the village almost two times. They all seemed more weary of him than the child with spots. Despite all that, they were still greeted warmly and without prejudice. They were quickly led to the island’s hospital which wasn’t as much a hospital as it was just a small hut. It consisted of only one doctor, after all.
“Well, everyone deserves a chance, don’t you think? Besides, it’s my duty as our island’s doctor to aid anyone who needs it.” Another man spoke. He was on the older side, graying hair pulled into a bun on the top of his head. Glasses donned the edge of his nose. “Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can really do. We hardly get support from the outside world as is, so whatever research that’s been made about the disease hasn’t made its way to us. Even if it did, our medicine isn’t as far advanced as some other places.  All I can do is lend some local mixtures and medicines to lessen the pain.” A long sigh came from the doctor. It hurt him to not be able to help the pair more. It was obvious he cared about each of his patients, no matter if they were from the island or not.
“Anything you have would be of great help, doctor.” The younger man smiled and nodded, patting the head of the child who was sitting on the bed. 
“Keiki.” A small squeak came from outside of the door, causing the two guests to turn their heads towards the source of the noise. The doctor sighed, chuckling. “I knew you were eavesdropping, my child.” A young child, about the age of the one currently in the hospital bed, peeked from around the corner. The doctor turned to the two guests. “I apologize for my child. They wish  to also be a doctor when they grow older, so I frequently catch them eavesdropping.” He looked at them and they immediately looked to the floor, inclining their head.
“Sorry, papa.” The child frowned, their cheeks turning pink as they looked down at their shoes, unable to make eye contact.
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
Another small squeak came from the child, who quickly bowed to the two visitors. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” 
The young man couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head. “No need. Children are curious.” He was honestly just relieved that the people on this island were so kind. They had been to so many places that treated the child in the bed like he was some kind of monster. He had started to lose his hope in humanity. More than he already had. 
“Alright, run along now, keiki. And I mean it. No more eavesdropping.”
“Yes sir!” The child bowed and turned to run off before the young man spoke up. “Hold on.” 
The child turned back around, looking at him with wide eyes, somewhat worried about what was to come. They knew it wouldn’t be that easy to get away. There was probably going to be some kind of punishment, right? They already knew that their father was going to scold them later. It happened every time. But they couldn’t help it! How could they learn if they didn’t know everything!
However, the young man wasn’t looking at them, but to the one on the bed. “Why don’t you go with them? I have more to discuss with the doctor and I’m sure you don’t want to hear this.” The small child near the doorway blinked, confused on the request. They nodded, not about to argue. Could’ve been worse, honestly. The small boy on the bed opened his mouth as if to argue before the man cut him off. “Go.”
The small boy grumbled but obeyed, following the other child out of the door as the two adults resumed their conversation.
Outside, the sun was shining and the air was warm, accompanied by a nice, cool ocean breeze. The doctor’s child was tending to the garden, pulling some weeds as the other child finally joined them. They sat on the edge of the porch, watching them. “What are you doing?”
“I’m pulling all the weeds out!” A large, warm smile came from the child de-weeding the garden and the boy on the porch felt a weird feeling in his chest. “Why are you doing that? Aren’t they all just plants?” He couldn’t see why it mattered.
“Well, if you don’t get rid of the weeds, they can overpower the flowers and kill them.” They put a handful of weeds in the bucket not far from them. “Like a disease?” The boy looked at them, watching their movements.
The child paused, looking at him. “I…suppose so. Like a disease. You have to take out the bad so that it doesn’t get worse and hurt what’s healthy.” They shrugged, going back to what they were doing.
Silence fell upon the two of them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. All that was heard was the sound of weeds being ripped out of the ground and the breeze through the trees. The hospital was further from the center of town, so there weren’t many people around.
The doctor’s child finished up their task, setting the bucket next to the house to be disposed of later. They tugged off the gloves and moved to the porch, sitting next to the visitor. The boy watched their every movement, leaning away as they sat next to him. Before they could ask what they were doing, the other spoke up. “So, what’s your name?”
“What you didn’t find out when you were eavesdropping?” A roll of the eyes.
“Well, I missed that part of the conversation.” They didn’t seem ashamed in the slightest that they had been caught listening - completely different from how they were acting before.
The boy looked at them for a long moment, a frown on his face. Then he scoffed and looked away. “What does it matter anyway? I’ll be dead and gone soon enough anyway.” It was clear he didn’t have high hopes on his health. He didn’t see the point in making friends when he was getting ready to leave anyway. And probably dying soon enough.
“Who is supposed to remember you when you’re gone?”
“What?” The boy looked at her with confusion. What did that have to do with anything?
“Here on our island, we believe that no one truly dies until they’re forgotten. We keep photos and mementos of those departed to keep them alive in our memories. They continue to live in our hearts.” They shrugged as if it was the most common of knowledge. 
The boy looked at them incredulously, stunned into silence. Then he scoffed once more, grumbling. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re an idiot for believing it.” The child shrugged, unbothered by what he said. “No one really knows what happens after we die, so why not think that something so warm happens?” He looked at them again, unable to think of what to even say.
“So?” The boy looked at the other child as they spoke. “So what?”
“Who is going to remember you when you’re gone?”
The boy blinked but he couldn’t help but think for a moment. All of his family and friends were dead. The pirate crew he was with was more than happy to forget him. That just left…
“Corazon…” His name left his lips before he even thought about it. Then his face warmed up, pale flesh turning pink.
“Is that the name of the man you’re with?” The child asked, looking at him.
“Uh…” He looked uneasy, as if he wasn’t supposed to say it.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” The child winked, smiling at him once more. Again, the boy felt something weird stir within him. He squirmed, looking away.
“Now, I just need your name.” Another wide smile and another weird feeling.
“Why do you need my name so bad? You gonna forget that easily?”
“Well, not exactly. It’s not every day we get visitors. Especially not someone as tall as Corazon or as grumpy as you.” The boy’s jaw dropped open and he sputtered, trying to find something to say. The child next to him just laughed, filling the air around them with warmth. “I’m just messing with you, geez.” 
“You’re stupid,” he mumbled, folding his arms once more and staring at the flowers below. Silence overcame them again; once more, not an uncomfortable one. It wasn’t long before sniffles could be heard. They were coming from the boy. 
The other looked at him. “Hey, are you alright?” They scooted closer and the boy looked away, wiping his face. “I-I’m fine. Just something in my eye is all.” He sniffled again. “Don’t lie to me. It’s okay to cry. You’re not exactly going through something easy.” The boy looked at the other child with him, his eyes wide. Sure, he heard Corazon say that but it was different when he heard someone else say it. 
It was like a damn broke loose. He just started crying and couldn’t seem to be able to stop. The other child took him in their arms, holding him while he let it all out. They didn’t judge him or think anything else of it. All they saw was someone going through a lot and it was finally bubbling over. They rubbed his back, letting him cry as much as he needed.
Some time later, the crying died down, becoming just sniffles once more. He wiped his eyes, looking at the other. “I-I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry, it’s not your mistake.”
The boy blinked, looking at them in confusion. Not his mistake? What did that even mean?
The other smiled wide. “Want to go into town? There should be an open market today! They have the coolest stuff.” They stood up, heading off the porch, acting as if what had just happened didn’t happen. 
“W-Wait!” The boy stood up, running to catch up. “I need to let Corazon know where I’m going.” He headed back to the hut, turning around. “By the way, my name is-”
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indigovigilance · 1 month
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Hi there! :) What are some Good Omens moments that still make you laugh no matter how many times you've seen them?
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What, me? Laughing at Michael putting his entire Sheenussy into ogling David Tennant on camera?
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Or this gay-as-a-three-dollar-bill smirk?
Honestly maybe I'm just easy to please but there is lots of stuff that will make me laugh no matter how many times I rewatch this dorky little show, I love it so much.
I'm not above rewatching the whole thing (up to and not including the final 15) to see where I laugh and give you a proper answer to this question but this is what I already had in my GIFs folder.
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basu-shokikita · 4 months
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Your skwistok duel rants have actually made me ship them. I've been rewatching the series and I'm starting to see more sparks than I did on my first couple watches. Any other big series moments that have you seeing more of their compatibility?
ahhh really?? that's so nice to hear ;o; i love my silly boys
hmm well, tbh skwisgaar accepting toki into the band was what sold me out on skwistok for good. but it's exactly because it explained EVERYTHING for me. before watching dsr i liked skwistok but i was convinced it was a one-sided deal on toki's part. but once that we were shown that it was skwisgaar who welcomed him into dethklok, that it was skwisgaar and skwisgaar only who wanted him in it i was like oh shit...he loves him back....
so rewatching the series with this origin story in mind, made me see them under a new light, particularly when it came to skwisgaar. whereas before i saw skwisgaar being uncaring of toki, i was now realizing that he did care, he just had a shitty way of showing it. he's a tough love kinda guy. yet, he's still a bit possessive of him and pretty protective for his cold bitch standards.
but anyway for skwistok moments that i find important in no order:
skwisgaar's weird jealous tantrum when he walks into toki and his guitar teacher in dethlessons. it's fucking hysterical but i'm also fascinated with the way it's framed like toki is cheating on skwisgaar. which skwisgaar definitely thought, by the way. yes, he was worried about toki becoming better than him but imo he was also upset about toki having a guitar bond with anyone that wasn't him. and hey, after the duel? it makes total sense.
skwistok drunk driving and shooting at the beginning of dethrace. i've already talked about how funny it is to me that skwisgaar was doing that with toki but mostly i think it speaks miles about the both of them that they chose each other to go fuck around and break the law. like, these guys are actually close???
in the same vein, skwistok pranking murderface in prankklok. the way toki lies in skwisgaar's bed so comfortably, like he's been there soo many times that it's essentially his room too. his two little feet dangling in the air, silly laugh while listening to skwisgaar on the phone. it's so fucking cute they love each other's company so much
the infamous 'stop copies me' from dethcarraldo. not only does it send me to tears everytime but it showcases their competitive nature in a way that i find both endearing and cute. i mean, toki repeating everything skwisgaar says and refusing to acknowledge it??? and skwisgaar acting like an offended child about it?? these guys share the braincell, how can you ever separate them?
toki dressing up as skwisgaar in the dethklok tribute band. stealing his clothes. acting stupid when skwisgaar pointed it out. looking absolutely elated when he was called skwisgaar skwigelf in that shitty club. shit out of a fanfic i swear. and then not only that but skwisgaar being fine with being toki in the tribute band?? you guys get a room my god
toki hitting skwisgaar the most in doublebookedklok* considering charles said toki was hitting his bandmates cause he wanted their attention...does it mean he wants skwisgaar's attention the most? look, it might be obvious by this point but having the narrative acknowledge that toki not only idolizes skwisgaar but wants his attention...
the unforgettable, the iconic 'i'll sees you in vallhaska' scene from the s1 finale. i feel like it truly bares skwistok's dynamic to its core. skwisgaar unable to say goodbye properly, so he tells him he'll see him again. toki unable to admit how he really feels about skwisgaar so he says he hates him. skwisgaar smiling because he KNOWS that's not what toki really meant. peak romance right here
skwisgaar actually trying to save toki in bookklok. it's played for the laughs but i can't stop thinking of how skwisgaar genuinely thought toki was going to die and, despite toki essentially ruining his life, he didn't hesitate to run and try to save him. 'comes back to me toki' lives rent free in my mind like what the hell was that. what in the WORLD. was that. jesus christ. how could they end the ep like this really
the entirety of the staresdown. skwistok canon, i'm afraid
last but not least i'd say the entirety of army of the doomstar tbh. it might not be focused on skwistok but the skwistok moments we got out of it were GOLDEN. narrative wise i give a special shoutout to toki carrying skwisgaar on his back + giving him his guitar cause he knew skwis needed it. the amount of love and concern in here. that's his beautiful guitarist wife that he adores.
these are the big moments of the top off my head but really it is about the details with them. a lot of nuances in their relationship are kinda lost to the background because it's not their dynamic that carries the plot, so you just gotta focus on them haha. for example one of my subtle faves is toki going catatonic in dethfam and skwisgaar going 'what?? you're not talking to me??' because like. damn this bitch can't handle his little guy not talking to him for 5 seconds. talk about being codependent
anyway, i hope i answered your question somehow anon ✌️
*upon rewatching doublebookedklok, i've realized toki hits murderface just as much as he does skwisgaar but my point still stands. at the very least skwisgaar is one of the members toki wants the most attention from
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utilitycaster · 5 months
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Unpopular opinion: the tower conversation between Caleb and Essek was a define-the-relationship conversation on a 20+ intelligence level and with the context that defining a relationship does not inherently mean "we have decided whether or not we are dating from this point onward with the only options being a static yes or no," and if more of the fandom read it that way, there would be significantly less equivocating over their relationship and how often Essek is mentioned in regards to existing and potential post-canon content
This is very funny to me bc if you were not off anon I'd be like "man what does Megs say about it, she'd know more!" Anyway, after this one I'll be taking a break bc I do need to do a bit of D&D prep and this is going to be a slightly long one. To that point, it's below the cut.
Anyway, thank you, because I very much enjoy Shadowgast but I don't know if I've made as much of a study of it as others have, or as I have for other ships, but this led me to rewatch/reread the transcript for this speech (2x133, btw, starting around 3:26:00 for those wondering) and: yes.
I think this is definitely the 20+ INT level version; it is entirely about theory, and the arcane, and everything is subtext. But it's not unprecedented. If I were to do the mathematical thing, and I will, and reduce it to a problem I already know, this is akin to Fjord and Jester's conversation in episode 2x72. Compare:
LAURA: Would you do anything to get them back?
TRAVIS: No. No, but, I feel like I knew what I was doing, and I realized I have no idea.
to
MATT: "You spoke once of intent, lot of fortunes have changed since. What is your goal? Ultimately?"
LIAM: I think my priorities have mostly shifted since we last spoke about things like this. I think what's going on right now is more important than my petty, earthly grievances. Still very much fascinated with and attracted to ability and skill. And it's not fashionable to say, but to power. Who doesn't feel the tug of such a thing? But, uh-- yeah, I said it knowing what your reaction was going to be. I see you outside. (laughs) But it doesn't matter. There are bigger things than you and I.
MATT: "I think that's the key. The pursuit of magic, in the ways that we know it, in the ways that we've been disparately, but in some ways similarly raised and studied. At a certain point, it becomes about the self. It becomes about what I can do. And it's impressive that you've deviated at your skill level. I just hope it holds."
LIAM: That's the key, isn't it? Because if you were to put the very thing that I have wondered about for so many years in front of me, I'm really not sure what my reaction would be.
It is, as you say, a definition of the relationship. It's not "we are now dating;" it's them figuring out if they want similar things; if they will be not just compatible but good for each other. It's foundation laying and setting boundaries for something that won't come to fruition for some time yet, but it's undeniably something more serious than mere friendship.
I think the tower conversation is also uniquely important because it's Caleb's first romantic overture after meeting with Trent. He volunteers the information about his past not just willingly, but specifically in order to connect with Essek rather than to protect him or push him away. They are even able to laugh about it together, and that's really it. This is the point where romance becomes an option.
There's more - I think that Essek admiring Caleb's ability to set aside himself despite his rapid progression as a wizard is absolutely a flirtation, as is Caleb saying he's attracted to "ability and skill" - but really in the end it's them saying "this is my condition, and you have met it." I think the relationships that lack some kind of condition and stakes like this - and to be clear, it's okay if, as with several relationships I don't cover here, those stakes and boundaries are set not through a clear conversation that serves as a turning point but rather more implicitly/through actions - end up feeling fundamentally empty and lacking in possibility because there isn't that tension and that recognition of each other.
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icarus-star · 5 months
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sub!charlie x male!ghostface!reader??
this came out super nasty. a little knife play, a little degradation, hair pulling, stalking(?), some of ghostfaces iconic lines too. !not proofread!
(ooc charlie, turned him into a giant slut :/)
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charlie has always been a big fan of horror films, especially the stab franchise. so once killings that had been suspected to be by another ghostface, he was ecstatic. even to the point of rewatching all 7 in one night. maybe it was odd, but nonetheless, it excited him.
but one night, when he was left home all alone for a weekend, nice and comfortable on his bed, rewatching some of his other favorite horror films. his phone rang. over his phone screen flashed the caller ID, 'unknown'.
curious as to who would be calling him so late at night, he answered. bringing his phone to his ear, he spoke; "hello?" his voice was a little sleepy from how focused he was on the screen in front of him, yet confused due to the unknown caller.
for a moment, you stayed quiet on the other end. your breathing silenced by the mask covering your face. "hello, charlie." you breathed out, your voice obscured by the voice changer inside of your mask. "how's the movie?" you asked, seeing his face contort in confusion. as you had silent been creeping, standing right outside of his bedroom window.
quickly, he looked back at his television screen. "wh- what movie?" he questioned, testing the waters. he had quickly started to suspect that you were the one who had started up the killings again.
"friday the 13th." you soon spoke back, somewhat snarky as you saw charlie worrying ever so slightly. "good choice, charlie." you began to tease, feeling that you had the upper hand with your voice changer and such.
charlie seemed to worry a little more, turning off the television and speaking into the phone. "who are you anyways?" he asked, already knowing all too well who you are and what he wanted. but for some reason, he hadn't put in any thought to the fact that you'd probably kill him.
at that, you stifled a laugh. "ohhh, charlie, you already know the answer to that.." you cooed. "i'm the last person you'll ever see..alive." and like anyone else would, you spat the words cruelly. even though you knew what you truly planned to do to him.
and instead of being scared, charlie felt a pang of excitement go through him. he recognized the line you used, he'd heard it oh so many times in the past from movies. but there was something so..thrilling, about having someone threaten him like that.
he let out a breath, grinning a little. "yeah? you are?" he quipped back, enjoying this situation a little more than anybody should. he felt like he was in one of the movies that he adored so very much.
"where are you anyways?" he asked, knowing you must have been around since you somehow knew what film he had been watching.
"right here." you replied vaguely, still watching his every move from behind his bedroom window. he glanced around the room, trying to spot you out. but even if you were inside of his room, he wouldn't spot you easily. you would blend right in with all of the merchandise and memorabilia of the stab franchise that he'd collected over the years.
he grinned sheepishly, wondering if you were really there. "well, i don't see you anywhere.." he replied, biting his lower lip in slight excitement. but just a moment after asking, his bedroom window began sliding open. his head shot over and watched as your cloaked figure entered his room.
finally, he began to feel some kind of fear chewing at him. he watched as you made your way closer to him, he didn't even move. he didn't know what to think. he felt like he was in one of his favorite movies, but that meant he'd die. before he knew it, your gloved hands were bringing your hooked knife to his throat.
he looked up at you, his big blue eyes filled with fright as he pleaded. "w- wait! wait.. please don't.. don't kill me?" his voice cracking as he stared at your masked face, the mask he'd looked at so many times before.
but with your free hand, you ran your fingers through his hair, as if to sooth him. he was confused. and despite his fear, he started to enjoy this situation again. with the hand in his hair, you tugged a bit, eliciting a little whine from him. you tilted your head to the side, pulling again curiously. another soft whimper erupted from his throat.
you chuckled, the voice modifier still masking how you really sounded. you moved your hand down, pushing your thumb through his pretty plump lips. he quickly caught on, biting down on the cloth glove. you pulled your hand away, leaving the glove hanging out of charlies mouth. you took it, dropping it on the floor and pushing your bare thumb back into his mouth. he swirled his tongue around it, staring up at you.
he let out a soft hum, definitely starting to enjoy this even more. but after a moment, you pulled your thumb away, a string of his spit following. you moved your hands down, underneath your cloak... unbuckling your belt.. unzipping and unbuttoning your jeans.. and pulling them down.
he watched, intrigued. he didn't expect it to go this way, he thought he'd be dead by now. but no, he was hornier than ever. and slowly, you pulled out your hard cock. right in front of charlies face. he looked at it, swallowing back a little anxiously, he'd never done this before.
but before could do a single thing, you gripped at the back of his head and thrusted your dick into his mouth,hitting the back of his throat. he gagged around you, tears pricking at his eyes.
"be a good boy for me, charlie. if you are, i promise not to kill you..~" you hummed softly, still holding your knife against his throat as you began thrusting hard. his big, teary puppy dog eyes stared up at you, his throat making the nastiest sounds of him gagging and whining.
his lips were so pretty around your cock, already covered in drool. but slowly, he got into it. he started bobbing his head as you thrusted. "you're so fucking nasty.. nobody would've ever thought of you to be such a cockslut, would they?" you spoke harshly, pulling at his hair and brushing the blaid of your knife against his throat.
he drooled around your cock, slurping as your precum began to bubble up. at this point, his hot tears started to fall down his face. he looked up at you, so adorable as you abused his poor throat. but he loved it. every second of it.
you felt yourself about to cum soon, your balls tightened and your cock throbbed. shoving charlies face all the way down, absolutely balls deep down his throat. he yelped, gagging more. his face all red and wet from you fucking his face. a second later, you shot your hot ropes of sticky cum into his mouth. he swallowed it all up, except the bit that dribbles down his chin.
and without another word, you pat the top of his head softly, tucked your dick away, and hopped outta his window. :3
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rhoorl · 4 months
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Week in Review: Nov. 26 | The Week Esquire Broke My Brain...Again
This week was one to give thanks for so many things - my family, my friends, my little corner of Tumblr … and the team at Esquire (we’ll get to that). I also realized this week I reached another milestone on here and while I don’t like to harp on the numbers, it really continues to floor me that anyone reads anything of mine. So I want to say thank you. I’ll spare you another sappy rambling post, but it has meant a lot to me to be here. 
With that being said, I wanted to do something fun to say thank you, but I can’t think of anything! What do others do? I’m looking around at a few ask games, but if you have one you really like, send it my way! That’s probably what I have the capacity for at the moment - because I really need to get some chapters out.
Fics I read this week:
This week I spent some time in the car, which allowed me to read a bit more than usual. Be sure to take a look at the warnings and summaries for all of my recs, just because I like it doesn’t mean everyone will.
Frankie Morales
Candy Cane by @cerridwen007 - Frankie and reader have some fun with a candy cane. Also, Frankie is still the 😺 👑
My Way by @goodwithcheese - Megan’s Frankie always does something to me and this was no exception. 
Javier Peña
Snowed In - Javier's version by @avastrasposts This one-shot was 🔥 the OFC took charge and held her own against our favorite DEA agent!
Joel Miller
Gun Cleaning by @avastrasposts - A little smutty one-shot that was oh so hot!
Dieter Bravo
Back Alley Bang by @morallyinept I really have no words for this one, just thots.
Tim Rockford
Hold Tight by @sin-djarin Tim Rockford and holsters. That's all. Oh and a brilliant use of repetition! 
Pause by @trulybetty I am really in my Tim era and this was 🔥 I want to know more about this couple and I really enjoy their dynamic.
Undercover by @secretelephanttattoo New series alert! I'm already hooked from the first chapter!
Marcus Pike
White Wine by @something-tofightfor Marcus is just the most thoughtful, ugh I love this man.
Ezra
Hue by @goodwithcheese - I don’t read a lot of Ezra compared to some of the other Pedro boys, but my goodness this was amazing. It was sweet and comforting, but Ezra is also a bit of a menace. 
Current Compulsory Series:
I Like the Way You (Frankie) by @undercoverpena
These are the series I am keeping up with at the moment.
Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie) by @linzels-blog 
Destiny & Deliverance (Dieter) by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings
Paranoid Heat (Javi P) by @goodwithcheese
It’s Never Too Late (Javi P) by @javierpena-inatacvest I finally caught up!!
OTHER CHARACTERS
Benny Miller / Mitch Keller
La Primera Fiesta by @marvelousmermaid Benny attends a family party for his girlfriend's family. I related to this so much as a Latina who married a tall, lanky white guy 😆 this was too cute and Benny was adorable.
Somebody's Someone by @dameronscopilot I finished Tulsa King this week and this was the first Mitch Keller story I came across and I loved it!
Pete Dunham
Like My Dreams by @laurfilijames I recently rewatched Green Street Hooligans - I feel like the last time I saw it I was in high school, maybe college, which was a while ago. Anyways, I loved Charlie Hunnam’s character Pete and I’m excited to check out Laur’s series. 
Posts from the week:
The Pedro boys celebrated Thanksgiving with @morallyinept and things of course were chaotic but hilarious. This post from @pedrostories was so helpful as someone who consumes fanfic and attempts to write it as well!
In case you missed it, a fun writing challenge popped up that I think is pretty cool! Do I know what I’m writing yet? No. But an idea will come to me I’m sure.
Feral corner:
You know … every week I think, you know, this will be the week where I’m going to be chill and not a thirsty ass mess - ha sorry, I couldn’t finish that without laughing. I can’t help it, blame Pedro (but don’t blame him, we need to thank this man).
So, we’ve all seen the recent Esquire photos right?! The thots were thotting and I am still processing. Will you probably see me reblog this countless times over the next few weeks? Probably. Am I going to shoehorn this photoshoot into the Working Title universe?! Definitely.
Can we just acknowledge the duality of this man? How he just walk around being such a ray of sunshine and so adorable but then turn into an absolute menace? 
Things I watched:
I spent most of the week away, but I did manage to start and finish Tulsa King, which I think is a pretty big feat. Garrett has a small role in it, but 🫠 I am here for it. I did manage to pay attention to the rest of the plot, shocking I know, and I really enjoyed this story.
Personal Stuff
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Spent time traveling this week so I had a lot of car time and then family time. I went to Buc-ee’s, which is always a highlight of our road trips. If you haven’t been or know what it is, picture a gas station/convenience store/general store and then multiply that by 100. Is it a bit overwhelming and overstimulating? Yes. But I guess I’m a glutton for punishment because I have to go to one every time I pass by.
The holidays caused a bit of a blip in my health journey. I’m trying to reframe my thinking about it. My initial reaction would have been to write “ugh I was so bad this week and ate so many bad foods” but instead I’m just going to acknowledge that it was a holiday and indulged a bit. But a couple of days isn’t going to completely derail the last four weeks. This time of the year can be really tough when it comes to my relationship with food, but I’m trying to give myself some grace.
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Fic updates:
I got a really fun ask about how the Triple Frontier boys would celebrate Thanksgiving. It was fun to think about the guys and yes, eventually we will get to Thanksgiving in Delta Landscaping.
I’ve gotten a couple of comments and messages about Working Title and Delta Landscaping and I promise I’m working on both (I think about them both at least once daily). I have a couple of PTO days in the next couple of weeks and I’m planning on dedicating some time to both so hopefully, I can get ahead and publish a bit more frequently.
Ok, I think that’s it for this week. I hope you have a great one. Drink water, get some sleep, and have some thots.
Masterlist
Working Title (Dieter, series, ongoing) | AO3 
Delta Landscaping (Triple Frontier, series, ongoing) | AO3
Turbulence (Frankie, one-shot) | AO3
Are You on Mute? (Benny Miller, one-shot) | AO3
Are You on Mute? Part Two
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laundrybiscuits · 1 year
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(wait for the season to come back to me tag)
“We still on for dinner this Thursday, or are you gonna reschedule again? Because I swear to god, Steve, I will break into your apartment and set up camp if I have to. It’s been years. Centuries.”
“It’s been a month, Henderson.”
“I barely remember who you are anymore. What’s your name again? How do I know you? We’re actually very happy with our current cable provider, thanks.”
God, that kid is such an asshole. Steve loves the shit out of him.
“Listen, I’ll see you on Thursday and explain everything, okay? Actually, uh—I’m kinda calling to give you a heads-up. Got some big news, so you should, like…brace yourself.”
Dustin’s quiet for a long, worrying moment.
“Steve. You have got to know that that’s the least helpful thing you could possibly say. You’re not even gonna give me a hint, man?”
“Wish I could. It’s not a bad thing, okay? Just big. Like…Upside Down big.”
“Okay, for my own peace of mind, I’m going to pretend you’re completely overreacting about the fact that you, like, got a dog or something.”
“I’m not—”
“Peace of mind, Steve! See you Thursday at my place! Don’t cancel or I’ll kill you!”
Steve’s left laughing into the dial tone. Honestly, he’d mostly called so Dustin couldn’t complain afterwards about not getting an advance warning. There’s just no way to hint at the whole Eddie thing without Eddie being present and accounted for; it would be the worst kind of cruel.
Steve can’t imagine what he’d have done to anyone who tried to tell him Eddie was alive without any kind of proof. It wouldn’t have been good.
“So we’re telling Henderson on Thursday?” Eddie jostles Steve’s shoulder. Steve thinks he’s been doing that a lot more lately.
“Seems like,” says Steve.
———
They take the train to Dustin’s place in Wilmette as soon as it gets dark out. Eddie’s bundled up in a nondescript hoodie and one of Steve’s denim jackets, looking like every other Chicagoan braced against the cool evening air.
They haven’t been going out all that much. Robin keeps asking if Eddie wants to do any tourist stuff, maybe the museums or something, but he always shrugs off the offers. Steve would’ve maybe expected him to want to get out and explore, now that he’s not cooped up anymore, but Eddie mostly seems to want to sleep, read, and watch TV.
Robin’s been on a campaign to educate Eddie about the ten years of pop culture he missed. “It’s essential for rehabilitation,” she says. Steve is pretty sure it’s just an excuse to make them rewatch all of Robin’s favorite movies, because some of the stuff she brings home was definitely already out in 1986.
Eddie draws the line at letting Robin show him music, though: “Nope, nuh-uh, no freaking way. I wouldn’t have listened to that shimmery synth shit if I’d been alive and free every single day of the last decade, and I’m not gonna listen to it now.”
Steve does have a few metal cassettes, but he feels weird about bringing them out. It feels like he’s crossing a line, somehow—admitting to something. So instead, they’d all traipsed over to the Tower Records a few blocks over, and let Eddie roam around sampling things.
To Steve’s surprise, Eddie hadn’t actually picked up that many metal albums. He'd grabbed the new Accept and some Alice in Chains, sure, but he also picked up Nirvana and Soundgarden. He had gotten into a conversation with a very helpful clerk that ended with the clerk scribbling a number on a business card and handing it over with a grin and a promise to make Eddie try some local act called Wilco next time.
Obviously Steve’s happy that Eddie’s making friends and charming people. He’s legitimately fucking thrilled that other people are finally seeing how great Eddie is, because Eddie deserves that. Eddie deserves the world, and if he wants to date some random clerk, he should get to.
It’s just that if Eddie Munson comes back from the dead to start dating some random clerk, Steve is going to have to go live at the bottom of Lake Michigan. That’s all.
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floralseokjin · 1 year
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⤑ 9 months to fall in love 22.
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It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.
Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.
Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…
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pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 5,057
warnings/includes (!) IT’S TIME! GLOB IS COMING!!!! 
⟶ ao3 link
*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’
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note; The Astronaut is 1000% playing while they have their little slow dance during the party 🤧 Also, for visuals: here is the inspo for the photoshoot outfit and here’s inspo for the tux! 
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↪︎ series index
SEASON THREE ⇤ previous | next ⇥
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The next few weeks flew by. 
It took a while for you to stop feeling so shaken up by the accident, and even now, you still felt slightly nervous being inside a car. You knew you couldn’t let the irrational fear consume you, especially with your life soon to take on a new importance, so you tried hard to work past it, talking it through with your therapist during the online sessions you were still having. The collision had purely been an accident, a split-second mistake made by the other driver, a lapse in his judgment. You couldn’t give it the chance to control you. You were stronger than that. Plus, you had so many better things to concentrate on. Seokjin, your friends, your bettering relationship with your family. Your daughter. 
At first, being on maternity leave was jarring. You’d worked fulltime ever since you’d graduated university, so having countless days and days to yourself took some getting used to. Seokjin joked that you needed to make the most of it, because once Sarang got here you both wouldn’t know peace again. It was a strange thought, but not disagreeable. She might have been the surprise you’d never known you wanted, but you’d been practically ready and eager from the start. Seokjin, too. 
You busied yourself with some more decorating of the house at first. Minor decorating. You couldn’t do much, but dotting a few art pieces or photos around, placing a vase on an end table, and laying out a few rugs here and there didn’t use much energy. Until it did. It felt like you were getting heavier and heavier by the day, the weight of Glob weighing you down and warping your axis of balance. You tried your best to keep active, going into the centre of the city a couple of times, and when you couldn’t manage that – not that you managed it well pre-pregnancy – you settled on small walks around your new neighbourhood. Seokjin joined you in the evenings sometimes, but mostly on the weekend. He was still working himself silly ready for his paternity leave, which meant that you were both in bed by 9pm most nights. 
In fact, as well as going to bed early, you liked a nap in the middle of the day too, falling asleep on the couch, where you spent most of the day watching boxset upon boxset. You’d already completed a rewatch of one of your favourite shows, finding it even funnier than the first time a couple of years ago. Now, you were starting something new. A sitcom. You found laughing was the way to go in these trying times, but it also weakened your bladder even more. You’d also started playing BT21 – your bump was a great rest for the handheld console. You’d never been into gaming, but you were becoming mildly addicted slash emotionally unstable, crying at how cute all the animal characters were. 
On the weekends, you and Seokjin bulk cooked meals to freeze. What started off as a fun domesticated activity soon turned into a bind. The good news was that you now had enough food to last at least three months and had stocked up on enough dried goods to avoid starving during a zombie apocalypse. But hopefully that didn’t happen now that you were so close to giving birth. 
The nursery was complete, the beautiful crib the main feature. You kept finding any old excuse to step inside and gaze around – not that you needed an excuse. You spent quite a few hours organising and reorganising Sarang’s chest of drawers, folding and refolding all her little onesies and cute outfits. You made sure to dust and wipe down surfaces often, wanting everything to be squeaky clean for her arrival. Your hospital bag had long been packed, on countdown inside your bedroom. Before long, there wasn’t very long to wait at all! 
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One of the worst things to deal with, now that you were in such a late stage of pregnancy, were the nights. Maybe that’s why you were napping so much in the day. No position was comfortable – and positions were limited in the first place. Your bump had reached its limits, you couldn’t go any bigger you were certain. You tried to help yourself by wedging pillows under your bump and between your legs to ease the pressure. It worked to a certain extent, but then leg cramps would set in and you had to move around, trying to get comfy all over again. Then you needed to pee, so it was back and forth to the bathroom. Then Sarang decided she wanted to wiggle. 
It was no wonder you were a little irritable these days, all things considered. Tonight, you and Seokjin had gone to bed not talking to one another after you’d snapped at him over making dinner. He’d come home later than usual to find you in the kitchen, instantly ordering you out. When you’d refused, the exasperated look on his face made you see red. You didn’t expect him to come home after a long day of work and start dinner immediately. You were pregnant, not decrepit, and making a simple stir fry wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility. 
You’d made the stupid stir fry in the end, and then the both of you had eaten in stony silence across from one another. You rarely argued, but you were both fans of the silent treatment when you did. Both stubborn too, it was impossible to know who would break first. As it were, Seokjin was the one to fold tonight. 
“____, what’s wrong?” he asked into the darkness, voice thick with sleep but prickled with concern. 
It wasn’t a surprise that you’d managed to wake him up. You’d already been to the bathroom twice, readjusted your pillows five times, and thrown your head back in frustration maybe ten. 
“Nothing,” you mumbled. Which was a lie. As well as being horrifically uncomfortable, you felt guilty for earlier, which was only marginally overshadowing your annoyance over Seokjin being able to sleep soundly while you tossed and turned. 
Seokjin shifted onto his side, one hand reaching for you and grazing your hip. “Can’t get to sleep?” 
“No.” Mortified, the word sobbed from you, and just like that you were crying. 
“Hey,” he said softly, gathering you in his arms as best he could. You were still uncomfortable but feeling him hold you made it better. “You’re okay.” He rubbed your back soothingly. 
“I’m being stupid,” you sniffed into his chest, getting his pyjama shirt wet. 
Moving your hair off your forehead, he kissed a spot he could reach. “You’re not. You’re tired and uncomfortable.” His palm felt really good stroking between your shoulder blades. “Close your eyes and think of something relaxing.”  
“All I have to think about is the impending horrors of childbirth.” 
Seokjin didn’t reply, probably realising there was nothing he could say to that. He’d seen the videos too. 
“I’m sorry about earlier,” you added.
“I’m sorry too,” he sighed softly. “I had a stressful day.” You hated that he was working so hard while simultaneously knowing you would be beyond happy and grateful once your daughter was born. You were ready to tag team Sarang’s first month in this world. 
“If you can’t sleep, neither will I,” Seokjin announced a few moments later. 
“Now you’re the one being stupid.” 
He barked a laugh, loud in the middle of the night. Then, fondly, “I love you.” 
You smiled against him. You would never get sick of hearing that. It was just three small words, but you knew Seokjin meant them deeply every time. And so did you. “I love you, too.”
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A couple of weeks ago, Seokjin got the front page on one of the most well-known business magazines. You didn’t know who had been more excited, you or everyone else who adored him. Definitely not him anyway. Seokjin handled it with his usual Seokjin modesty, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. You had a copy on your nightstand and another on the coffee table in the best living room. Yeonja even bought a copy for her coffee table, and Mari too! She messaged you a picture on the day it came out. Seokjin had a lot of fans. It was no wonder when you saw his photoshoot. Fashionable in his beige turtleneck and grey suit, he looked objectively handsome. There was no issue of being biased, your man seriously was that good looking! And wonderful. You’d read the part where they mentioned you and Sarang (not by name) in his interview at least a dozen times, and it never failed to put a massive grin on your face (and shed a tear or two.) Plus, reading the interviewer praise him made you inexplicably happy. 
Having taken up most of his twenties and half of his thirties, Alpaca Gaming Studios has been his life, but it’s time to concentrate on more personal matters. After falling in love earlier this year, there’s a baby on the way, and Seokjin is ready to gradually take a step back from work. “She’s the most amazing person I know,” he says about his partner, sounding smitten. “I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I can’t wait to become a father.” He’s unable to fight the grin on his face. 
Staunchly private, he won’t reveal much about his relationship, but his beaming face is proof of how in love he is. His company still means the world to him, but he is very aware that it could shine just as hard without him – his words, not mine! I am inclined to disagree. AGS has obviously become what it is because of the man sat in front of me. Politely spoken and painfully modest, it seems almost impossible that he is CEO of one of the world’s most popular video game companies. Not to mention, Kim is quite unnervingly handsome. It’s practically unfair. He laughs when I tell him this, turning red. 
“Nothing like that,” he’s quick to correct, when I ask him if he plans on stepping down. Then jokes, “I’ll give everyone I know a heart attack if they read this. I can’t see myself stepping down any time soon.”  
It’s another one of his charms. To be serious and subsequently dilute it with a joke. Not everyone could pull it off, and Seokjin does so numerous times during this interview. His charisma is something else! 
“We’re a team at AGS, a family” he continues, “and they are way more talented than I could ever be.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly, somehow making it attractive. “I have no doubt that if I ever did decide to retire, they’d do just fine without me. There’s my second in command, after all.” 
He’s mentioned his secretary slash best friend Jung Hoseok numerous times throughout this interview and insists he wouldn’t be here now without him. In fact, he wouldn’t be here now without a number of people. It’s obvious that he genuinely believes that. There is nothing false about Kim Seokjin. His gratitude and humility are two more admirable qualities that make this man hard to judge or criticise. 
The mention of Seokjin stepping down from CEO one day had shocked you at first. Making plans for his month-long paternity leave was one thing, but to talk about gradually distancing himself from his role was something he’d never even mentioned. He was quick to reassure you that he wasn’t seriously thinking any of that, his mouth just had a habit of running away from him during nerve-wracking situations like a global magazine interview. It was true that he wanted to take more time for you and Sarang, not work such long hours, and to have stress-free weekends, but he wasn’t ready to leave everything he still loved so much. At least not right now. Who knows what the future holds, he told you. Maybe five years from now we’ll have Glob No.2 and I won’t want to step into the office ever again.
You liked thinking of the future these days. Of your future with him and Sarang…and Glob No.2. (But no No.3 like he’d also suggested!) Before the future never used to cross your mind, but you had so many new things to look forward to now. Your relationship, your baby, Yuna and Jimin’s wedding! Life was exciting and constantly changing, filled with things that had never crossed your mind this time last year. It was a great feeling, even when you struggled to stand on your feet for more than ten minutes right now…
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As Seokjin’s 35th birthday was going to be overshadowed by Sarang’s arrival into this world, his parents insisted on celebrating early. It was a multitude of celebrations to tell the truth: Jin’s birthday, his interview, Sarang’s imminent arrival, the last hoorah before said arrival. 
Seokjin knew about it of course, he didn’t very much like surprises, and Mikyung had kept you updated every step of the way because you were too exhausted to help organise a thing. In fact, you were probably too exhausted to even attend the party. You were 39 weeks pregnant and hadn’t done much movement in over a week. You moved from the bedroom to the sofa, to the kitchen, to the sofa, to the bedroom again at the end of the day. It wasn’t a very fun existence, so with cutthroat determination, you were attending your man’s birthday party. Even if you sat down for most of the night and begged to go home by 8pm. 
Yuna did your hair and make-up, and even your nails. If the last few weeks of pregnancy had taught you anything, it was that you could get used to the kind of life where people did everything for you. You were due for a harsh reality check in ten days’ time, because your role was going to be well and truly reversed. You’d folded yourself into a grey velvet wrap dress, complete with chunky socks, before sliding your swollen feet into a trusty pair of Crocs – black this time. Fashion was the last thing on your mind at the moment, which was heart-breaking for the likes of you, but if you were being honest, it had taken a backseat a long time ago. 
The venue was stunning. Mikyung really had pulled out all the stops for her Seokjinie, the theme winter wonderland-esque in gold and creams. There was even an outdoor area decorated much the same, with the gazebo draped in string lights that twinkled in the dark. You wouldn’t be caught outside in mid-November weather, but each to their own. While the party was in the development stages, it had been a toss-up between a three-course meal or a buffet. In the end, down to a committee vote, buffet had won, which you were ecstatic about because you loved a good ol’ buffet. Jungkook was chuffed too and sat next to you munching on two plates piled high with every option available. 
The guest list wasn’t excessive, but it did include a few family members and friends you hadn’t met yet, and Seokjin introduced you to them with a very loving “this is my ____.” It made you beam and feel almost drunk, which you were most definitely not. Somewhere along the line you lost him, but you were in no condition to go and find him. Instead, you sat down at the corner table you’d nabbed for your own, and watched everyone having fun, amused and quietly laughing to yourself. It made you happy that there were so many people here celebrating Seokjin. 
Your brother was poking around what was left of the buffet, and your father and Yeonja were slow dancing together in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song changed abruptly, you watched them break apart awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. Your sister was sat on the opposite side of the room, on her phone, but occasionally you caught her glancing up and watching Hoseok who was now busting out some moves while Kang struggled to keep up. (Fun fact: Hoseok was a trained street dancer. You’d found out tonight.) Ah, not only was he way too old for her, but he was also gay. Maybe she’d realise both on her own, if not you’d let her down gently later. Jungkook was dancing with Haram. She was laughing as he spun her around. They both looked like they were having fun, which was nice to witness. It was a far cry from their behaviour at your dinner party all those weeks ago. 
Seokjin’s brother and wife were dancing with Taeoh and Jiu. His parents must be outside – crazy people. Namjoon and Yeeun were sat on a table; he whispered in her ear and made her giggle. Mari walked over, unintentionally interrupting them. Yuna and Jimin were nowhere to be seen. 
While deep in concentration, a figure suddenly leaned over you, blocking your view, and you looked up to see a joyful looking Seokjin. His face was flushed and his eyes shiny, but he wasn’t drunk. Now that you were close to the end, he refused to touch even a drop of alcohol. Just in case. 
He held out his hand. “Care to dance with me, my beautiful lady?” 
“How about a shuffle?” 
He chuckled. “I would want nothing more than to shuffle with you.” 
With a grin, you took his hand, and he helped your stiff body up. You needed to dance at least once, or just get on the dancefloor. Thankfully, the song changed as you got there, something slow and meaningful again. You looped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist and started to sway slowly. He looked hot in a tux. If you had the energy, you’d rough it up later tonight. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case. 
“Happy early birthday,” you said, kissing him. 
One of Seokjin’s palms slid to your bump as he smiled against your mouth. He pulled back slightly. “I’m looking forward to my early gift.” 
“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” You didn’t know what it was, possibly the lyrics in the song you were dancing to, but the love you felt for him seemed to want to burst out of you. 
“I do know that,” he replied, his smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I love you more, though.” 
Laughing at how ridiculous he was, you gazed into one another’s eyes and continued to slow dance, Sarang in the middle. Even when the song shifted. Neither of you cared that you weren’t in time to the music. But before long, Yuna appeared at your side, tugging your arm. 
“I’m stealing your woman,” she told Seokjin, who knew not to put up too much of a fight. She dragged you into the centre of the room. “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the floor all night!” 
Well, she best make the most of it because she had exactly three more minutes before you gave out. You weren’t even moving your feet as she held your hands and moved your arms up and down, but you were both having fun, laughing and making noise. You span her around at one point, then felt a throb in your lower back. That was it. 
“Yuna, I can’t do anymore,” you shouted over the music, one hand clutching the offending area. 
“Party pooper!” she yelled, but she was grinning as she said it, kissing your cheek before you hobbled off, your feet killing you. 
You made your way back to your corner, flopping down on the chair with a groan. Seokjin had disappeared again, but you didn’t mind. You needed five. Unless your bladder decided it wanted to be emptied again. You’d spent enough of your time in the restroom already. As you were sending a silent prayer to your bladder, you felt a twinge low in your stomach. You didn’t think much of it as you’d been experiencing similar things for a few days anyway. At your last doctor’s appointment, it had been confirmed that your bump had dropped, and Dr. Choi had said you might start experiencing some aches and twinges here and there as labour drew closer. 
However, that twinge did feel a lot stronger, and your back was burning, but maybe it was because you’d been more active tonight than you had been for days – weeks even. As you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your lower back continued to throb. Your pain was interrupted by Kang coming over. He was breathing hard and sweat was beading from his hairline. The chair scraped across the floor as he threw himself down. “Not feeling it either?” you asked through gritted teeth. 
“Hoseok doesn’t even know I’m gone,” he laughed weakly, then furrowed his brow when he took you in. “You okay?” 
“I think I’ve hit my limit tonight,” you admitted, rubbing the underside of your bump. Maybe you should go find Seokjin and tell him you were going home. He could stay here, you didn’t mind, and you didn’t want to ruin his night. You were sure your dad could take you back, he hadn’t been drinking either because he had to drive back to the hotel he, Yeonja and your siblings were staying at for the night. 
“Should I ask one of the waiting staff for some water?” Kang asked, sounding concerned. 
You shook your head. “I’m fine.” Then belatedly remembered your manners. “Thank you.” 
Kang didn’t look like he believed you. 
“THERE YOU ARE!” Hoseok’s screech of a voice made you both jump, and you winced. Shit, your back felt as if it was on fire. “Don’t think you can sneak away from me, lover,” he told Kang, pulling at his hands. “Come dance again!” He noticed you then. “Hey, ____!” Then noticed your expression, instantly worried. “What’s wrong?” 
You sucked in a breath. “Nothing.” 
“It’s not nothing,” Kang said. He leaned over, brows knitted together. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look like you’re in pain.” 
You felt another—something. “I just—it’s just twinges.” They both saw your grimace. This wasn’t just a twinge. It was going on for a little longer, something inside you clenching. Stomach muscles maybe, or something else… “I should find Seokjin.” You jumped up with a buoyancy you didn’t know you had anymore, panic and pain driving your body. 
“Maybe he stepped outside. Let me—” 
Kang stopped abruptly when the sound of liquid splashed on the floor. There wasn’t much of it, and it was a similar sound to when you had a mug of tea filled too full and some slid over the brim and onto the floor as you walked. Only it was coming from between your legs, so it wasn’t tea. And you weren’t holding a mug. 
“Is that…?” The colour drained from Hoseok’s face, which did nothing for your nerves. You stared wide-eyed at Kang. You needed him right now. He was a nurse. He could make sense of the situation. Had you peed yourself? It wouldn’t be the first time. 
“____, don’t panic,” Kang began calmly, “but I think you might be in labour.” 
“I can’t be.” You shook your head, adamant. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t be going into labour here. Surrounded by your family and friends and even some people you didn’t know. “I’m not due yet. My doctor said I might feel some—things but I—” 
“____, your waters have broken,” Kang interrupted. Firmer this time. 
“Oh God, not here.” You crumbled, heart starting to race ninety to the dozen.
“Sit back down,” he ordered softly, getting you back down into the chair. You felt damp between your legs and your socks felt slightly wet and gross. “Hoseok, go and find Jin – as discreetly as possible,” he added, looking around. 
Good. The last thing you wanted to do was gain attention. But for how long that would be possible, you had no idea. You were in labour in the middle of a party. 
“On it,” Hoseok nodded purposefully and disappearing. 
No sooner had he gone, Jungkook was appearing in his place. “What’s going on here?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “ ____, wanna dance?” 
“I don’t think she’s up to it right now,” Kang replied, his hand on your back. 
Jungkook’s eyes widened as he took you in, and got wider when he noticed the floor. “Oh shit. Are you having the baby?” 
“She’s in labour, yes,” Kang answered for you. 
“Where’s Jin?” 
“Hobi went to find him.” He tugged on Jungkook’s suit jacket. “Come here, crowd a little so people don’t realise what’s going on.” 
Obliging, he hid you from view, the front of his shoe in your amniotic fluid! You made a strangled noise, but he didn’t seem to care. “Are you okay?” he asked, and he sounded panicked. 
“Sort of,” you winced, moving a little because of your back. “I’m a little mortified if anything.” 
In truth, you couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Surely you would have realised earlier? And surely you should be in more pain? You mean, yes, you were in pain right now, but shouldn’t it be worse? Or maybe it just hadn’t kicked in properly yet. Oh God, the thought made you nervous. Your hand was shaking as you brought it over your mouth, breathing out slowly. 
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jungkook insisted. “I guess Sarang wanted to be a part of the fun too.” 
You managed a smile, grateful he was trying to make a joke. “Fuck, I really hope she won’t be born right here right now.” 
“You have a good few hours yet,” Kang reassured, still rubbing your back. “Don’t worry—” 
“____!” Seokjin exclaimed, racing towards you, shoes skidding on the floor. There was nothing discreet about the father of your baby. Not that you cared right now, you just wanted him. 
You reached out for him in panic, gripping his hand as he got closer. “Seokjin, she’s coming!” 
Kang moved so Seokjin could take his seat. “This suddenly?” he asked, taking over rubbing your back. You knew what he was thinking. He’d only seen you twenty minutes ago. His eyes were wide, his breathing coming out in loud puffs. 
“My back’s been aching more than usual today,” you started babbling. “I didn’t realise at first, I just thought it was—” You stopped when you felt another tightening sensation and looked up at Kang. “Are these contractions?” 
He nodded. “You’ve probably been in latent labour for a few hours.” 
Seokjin let out a shaky sigh. “We need to get to the birthing centre.” 
“Call first,” Kang advised. “You might get there just to be sent home otherwise.” 
“But she’s in labour!” Jungkook cried, then immediately clamped is jaw shut. Kang looked around but there was no one near your corner. Most people were on the dancefloor or outside. 
“Let’s go somewhere quieter at least,” Seokjin said, stroking some of your hair. “Yeah?” he murmured, kissing your cheek. 
You nodded, thankful. You didn’t want to be inside here one second longer. “Where are our parents?” 
“They’re all sat in the gazebo. Jiu’s running around like Road Runner out there. She’s even tiring Taeoh out.” 
Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of you. Jiu was getting confident on her tiny, little feet now. She was turning into a terror. 
“I’ll go let them know. You go,” Hoseok said. 
Seokjin smiled. “Thanks, Hobi.” He helped you up carefully. “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll call the centre from there.” Leaning on him, he kissed your temple. “You’re okay,” he murmured.
“I’m okay,” you confirmed, psyching yourself up more than anything. You could do this. You had this. 
Kang stayed behind to wait for Hoseok while Jungkook followed you both as you tried to make a quick and undiscovered exit. You made it out the room successfully before you remembered something – no wait, someone. You clutched Seokjin’s arm. “Wait, where’s Yuna? I need her.” You needed your best friend. 
Jungkook looked back into the party. “I’ll go find her.” 
It was cold outside, but it was nice. You felt as if you’d been boiling up inside. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Seokjin’s car with the door open as he crouched in front of you, stroking up and down your thighs. 
“____! Oh my God,” Yuna cried, bursting out of the building, Jimin and Kang at her heels. The latter had your coat. 
“Yuna, a bit quieter,” Seokjin hissed, standing up. 
“Sorry,” she panted, her handbag gripped in her fingers. “Oh my God.” She got down low on the floor, replacing Seokjin. “Glob is coming!”
“I’m aware.” You felt another twinge—no, contraction—and held yourself rigid. 
She fussed over you a minute while Seokjin paced behind her. Jimin and Kang were talking quietly among themselves. “Did your waters break?” she asked. They didn’t for some, and you’d both been wondering if it would happen for you. 
“Yes. Oh shit, the floor!” Your neck snapped up and you stared over at Kang. 
“Jungkook asked someone for a mop and bucket, don’t worry. He said it was champagne.” 
Before you could squawk in horror – although, you had to admit that was very sweet of him to do that for you to avoid mortification – Seokjin’s phone started ringing. As he moved closer to you, you heard his mom’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make anything out. 
“It’s fine, mom. Everything’s fine,” Seokjin told her evenly, shooting calmness through your veins. If he could stay in one piece, so could you. Maybe. 
“I’m going to call the centre to see if we can check in. I’ll call you when I know more, all right?” His mother responded with something and he chuckled. “I will, don’t worry… Tell Minsoo and Yeonja she’s doing okay, please… Thank you. I better go. Bye.” 
Seokjin immediately got up the contact for the birth centre but made sure to check on you before he hit call, even as Yuna buzzed between you both. You squeezed his hand, trying to stay calm despite everything. The time had finally come, you were going to have your baby.  
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Written 2022 - 2023. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2023
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lyomeii · 6 months
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WIRELESS -> chapter three
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» chapter three; team evaluation
» SYNOPSIS: a little of chaos for [l.name] and friends :)
» NOTICES:
↳ short, because I wanted to release the chapter. the next one is going to be large, I promise.
↳ choi wongil isn’t part of the group, because I say so.
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IN A CALM AND NICE neighborhood, the local family’s store is closed for today for special reasons. The owners, a lovely couple, decided to not open (despite being Friday which is always full of clients) and to spend the day at home with their beloved son, all three anxious to see the Music Bomb of this week.
“[name]!” mother is already sitting next to father, the popcorn inside a large bowl. “It’s almost starting!”
“I’m coming!” you took a seat on the floor, resting your back against the couch as father quickly messes your hair. “Dad!”
The old man laughed, “Stay calm, kid.” like he is the one with the hair all messed up. “You should be smiling, aren’t you happy to show up at tv?”
“I’m nervous, actually…”
“Don’t worry, your mother and I know you are going to be amazing on the screen.”
Those words aren’t enough to calm down, still you smile at him as the program begins. The two hosts are talking about the return of the infamous Idol Inc. and how the shareholders will be taking an important place this season, being able to choose the members, the number of members that will debut, and even the group’s name.
“They are actually apologizing.” both father and mother are quite surprised by the words coming from the representative of Idol Inc. “It’s so unexpected. Right, my dear?”
“Yes, mother.” you agreed with her. “Let's see what they have for this time…”
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As the program ended, you decided to clean the dishes as mother and father went to bed to rest for the night. Having them working so much in the recent weeks means so much for you, they are the ones supporting your dreams, so the bare minimum is helping them around the house and the family’s shop.
Thinking about them always brings you memories, especially those that involve them watching you perform in front of the tv once you were just a little boy. Mother recorded all of those little shows, sometimes even rewatching with Father when they don’t have anything else to do and of course, it’s a little embarrassing seeing how much tuneless you were back then.
With the dishes finally clean and back to their rightful places at the cabinets, you settled down at the couch to check the internet since you are quite curious to see how the public is reacting to the program and if the netizens are saying that about you. Despite ranking gold like many others, which is a great thing, there is a chance that some of the viewers might hate you for no reason. It happens a lot and could it happen to you, the thought only already gives you chill.
“Stay calm, [name].” you took a deep breath before opening a forum. “The worse case scenario is that people barely remember your existence...”
With the phone in hands, you switch between the many forums available in the most popular site in recent times. Most of them are discussing those who ranked platinum, every single of them having personal photos that make them easier to be noticeable to the public. You can’t deny, there is a small envy inside your heart seeing them, yet seeing Moondae and Chungwoo in their best make you happy for them. One day, you will reach them and stand up next to both.
After navigating through the most popular sites, you found a small thread with hundreds like and some reblogs that contains some brief information about those who didn’t rank platinum, but did rank gold, meaning you might be included in that one or at least you hope so.
GOLDEN GRADE BOYS THAT STOLEN THE SPOTLIGHT (and my heart)
The title being self explanatory, made you open it rapidly to check the thread made by the user and of course, it didn’t disappoint you. Alongside many familiar faces of Ahyeon, Sejin B, there is you. A clear screenshot of you in the Idol Inc. uniform while posing with some other contestants of the same rank and a small clip of you performing on the first day at the studio. And all of the comments in the post are so positive, complimenting both your looks and vocals, saying they are more than willing to buy your stocks.
You can’t deny, it brings you a calm sensation seeing how some people are willingly to support your journey at the program, but it’s a little worrying too. A great number of viewers, who barely know anything about you other than what the camera shows, are going to buy your stocks without thinking much of it…Why do you feel guilty of it instead of happiness? Those people are truly angels, you won’t ever forget that. Next week, you will do your best to thank every single one of them!
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“Alright, let’s start the formation of the first of the first team evaluation!” the remaining contestants all pay attention to the host who is on the stage alongside a small box next to him. “Before that, all participants please come forward in order of rank and pick a ball from the box.”
After a few days of doing nothing but resting, you are finally back to the studio alongside the others and there are already things to do in order to stay on the program. And it’s quite nice to see the familiar faces of fellow participants.
“[L.Name].” Sejin B calls you from behind, his large stature and energetic personality manage to bring a smile from your lips. “It’s just me or Moondae looks brighter?”
Brighter? Your eyes move towards Moondae to realize that something is indeed different about him. It’s like there are sparkles all over the black haired man that seems to attract your full attention to him only, what did he make to look like this? It’s probably his skincare routine and you are definitely going to ask him about it later.
“Now that you said it, I can see that something is different about him.” you whisper back to brunet who nodded. “But are you sure of it? I mean, Ahyeon is standing next to him.”
He muffled his mouth to prevent the laugh to be heard, but his body shakes a little because of that as Sejin B places one of his hands on your shoulder. Did you say something funny? On another hand, Moondae stares at the two of you with his classical monotonous face.
“Did I say something wrong?” tilting your head, a small smile grows on your face in order to gain an answer from him. “Moondae?”
The dark haired man just stares at you, despite the noticeable displeasure in his face, he sighs off and smiles at you. “It’s okay. You just said what is inside your head.” with the host calling his name, he walked to the stage to grab a small ball and once Moondae made his way back to the group, it’s your turn.
In the stage, you smile to be the host before putting your hand inside the box for a few seconds and then, a ball with a number is on your hand now. Resulting in the host smiling directly at you.
“[L.NAME] [NAME]’S NUMBER IS NUMBER THREE!”
Your heart starts beating faster with the host’s words. Is this number a good thing? It’s a lower one compared to Moondae’s Twelve, yet there is something off about it and the big smile on the host’s face is a way to confirm your suspicions as he starts to speak up to the contestants. A performance in a group.
Choosing between the few agencies and performing a hit song of the group’s belonging to them sounds a good deal, right? In theory, yes. But knowing that someone from a high rank can easily take you out of the agency you choose or the possibility of someone else creating discord in the group is making you already think of the song you will have to perform. That’s why you choose to join Leti, where familiar faces make their way to meet up with you again, but also new faces.
“Hello, [L.Name]!” two golden ranks introduced themself as both approached you with big smiles on their faces, Ha Iljun and Keon Heesung. They are way more energetic and smiley compared to Moondae who joined the team, now the two are a great contrast to the brunet’s stoic personality. And they keep ‘bothering’ him til Lee Sejin A enters the team, making both gold suddenly quiet. Then, Sein Ahyeon (number 33), Ryu Jeongwoo (number 59) and Lee Sejin B (number 62) enter the group, finally closing the Leti group.
“NOW THE AGENCIES ARE DIVIDED INTO TEAM A AND TEAM B, ACCORDING TO THE SHUFFLE RESULT!”
One of the screens shows everyone the agency separated into two different groups of seven, and you are part of team A along with the others. Iljun and Heesung are celebrating being in the same group while you watch your new teammates talking steps closer, including Sejin A who is now standing next to you and everyone else is just a little curious of how comfortable he is around your presence, an unexpected scene for the other members.
“So who is going to choose the song?” you asked, hoping one of the members would step in front of the monitor to be the responsible one to do it. You can’t deny you are a little too nervous to do it, what if you choose a bad song? Or one that no one knows? You would be hated.
“Don’t fear, [L.Name]!” IlJun stepped forward and pressed the monitor’s screen. “I will choose a good song for us!”
He didn’t choose a good one.
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@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost
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canary3d-obsessed · 10 months
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 37 part one
(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)
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Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
Never Trust a Big Butt and Smile (Poison)
Wei Wuxian has gathered all the juniors together in the paper-offerings shop run by the corpse lady, and asks for volunteers to help him in the kitchen. 
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Teacher's pet Sizhui jumps forward, abandoning Jingyi and leaving the field clear for Ouyang Zizhen to make his move.
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He tells the other kids to stay put, but Jin Ling follows along to go make a nuisance of himself.
DLWJLF (Dad Lan Wangji would Like to Fuck)
Now we get to see Wei Wuxian in a new dad mode; not entertaining and protecting young A-Yuan, but guiding teenager Jin Ling to be less of a prat. On one level he is talking to him forcefully and generally not having patience for his crap, but on another level he is carefully teaching him.
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Wei Wuxian explains that glutinous rice (aka sticky rice, aka sweet rice) can cure corpse poisoning, and proceeds to cook it up with every kind of pepper he can find in the kitchen, in a sequence that has got to be an intentional parody (full gifset here) of the lovingly-filmed food porn that shows up in so many Asian dramas (for example).
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(More behind the cut!)
While the rice is cooking, Jin Ling finally explains what brought them here; they all came following a trail of hideously murdered "cats." The show avoids having to put an explanatory note on the screen saying "this is a digital cat and no actual cats were harmed" by showing us this ridiculously bad stuffed toy cat. 
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On this occasion I genuinely appreciate the department of dubious practical effects, since I don't really want to see a realistic dead cat. But wow, this is super bad. It doesn’t even have paws, just weird stubby peg feet. It is probably made from leftover bits of whatever they used to make Wen Chao’s dog. Also, the MEOW noise happens right when Jin Ling opens the door, when the cat is clearly already dead. Maybe the cat's ghost is doing the meowing.
During Jin Ling's flashback, we get to see Fairy in action. Fairy is a special, extra smart, spiritually attuned dog. 
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His powers include barking at the door when someone stands directly outside the door stringing up a dead cat from the rafters. I feel like maybe Fairy needs to aim a little higher in life.
Wei Wuxian thinks about the cat-murdering, and reflects that it's horrifying, but that whoever did it "didn't actually cause any harm."
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Ghosts of a whole lot of deceased cats: easy for you to say, asshole
I'm still a little unclear on who actually did the cat murders. I think it was Xue Yang? since he wanted to lure the Yiling Laozu to Yi City, and couldn't rely on the qiankun bag of plot convenience to get him there.  Possibly he also wanted to kill and eat the juniors, like the clown in IT. I've seen people saying it was Nie Huaisang, but I don't think he had a motive to get the juniors to go there, given that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were already headed that way because of the spirit thingy.
When the rice is ready Wei Wuxian sends the kids to deliver it to their poisoned buddies. Wei Wuxian pauses to give Jin Ling a little more uncleing.
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Jingyi tries the rice, which is absolutely loaded with spice, and asks if Wei Wuxian is trying to poison them some more. 
Wei Wuxian has the audacity to think "could it be that I accidentally spilled pepper powder in there?" Bitch, we just watched you dump a whole bowl of red pepper flakes AND a bowl of black pepper AND several whole-ass red chilies in there. Your memory isn't that bad.
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Sizhui tries it and does a nice spit-take; then he says that the taste is familiar. I think this is the first instance of him remembering something from his time with Wei Wuxian, and I love that the trigger for his eventual cascade of recovered memory is Wei Wuxian's terrible cooking.
Wei Wuxian makes them eat it anyway, and then laughs to himself about it.
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Young Miss Jump-Scare
Wei Wuxian hears A-Qing's stick in the lane outside, and goes to a hole in the wall to look at her. Once he's had a look he says "wow! she's amazing!" to lure the kids into looking. 
Jin Ling goes to look and A-Qing obligingly sticks her face right into the camera for a jump scare. 
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Camera Operator: Damn, warn a guy, will you?
Next Jin Ling lures Sizhui to look, and A-Qing provides another jump scare, this time drooling blood out of her mouth. Then she goes back to walking in circles in the street while the boys all check her out, mostly platonically, except for Ouyang Zizhen, who is in love with literally everybody so can’t do platonic.
Wei Wuxian, fully in Wei-Laoshi mode at this point, tells the kids that they should look at A-Qing precisely because they are scared; as cultivators, they need to look past their fear and be able to identify things correctly. 
Sizhui, Jin Ling, and Ouyang Zizhen all take turns looking and all make different observations about her, and receive feedback from Wei Wuxian about the quality of their observations. 
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Itty-bitty Lan Sizhui, hilariously, says that she’s only as tall as his chest. According to wiki.d-addicts, he is a whopping 7 centimeters taller than she is in real life. He has doomed himself to having to stand on a box any time he is next to her. Which, you know, he mostly won't be, because of all the death.
Conveniently, the window has a whole bunch of strategically-placed rips in it, so several of them can look out at the same time, like the Joke Wall on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in. No I am not that old, but the reruns were inescapable when I was a child. 
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Do these knuckleheads think they are hiding? Very subtle, guys.
A-Qing wanders around and bleeds for a bit, but then she hears someone coming and skedaddles. The someone who arrives is Xiao Xingchen, wearing a ribbon/bandage over his eyes, no guan, and dark robes. 
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Wei Wuxian recognizes him anyway, because Xiao Xingchen is famously pretty no matter how he's styled. Also he has his sword and waves it around conspicuously.
Wei Wuxian immediately decides to rescue him, over the objections of Jin Ling, but has to move quickly to avoid being poisoned by the AfterEffects volumetric fog that covers the street. 
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He also has to do a hella cool spell, with a mix of light-talisman drawing and poetry reciting, which impresses all of the youngsters.
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 For some reason it also causes a bunch of mild squib explosions on the outside of the wall. He comes back in, super-quick, with Xiao Xingchen clutched against his side, warning the kids not to come near because "even skin-to-skin contact will poison you." 
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Dude, we weren't planning on getting naked with your uncle, chill out.
He sets him down and whispers to him, calling him Xiao Shi Shu,小师叔 which is how he would address his father's martial younger brother, not his mother's, according to my deep Google-translated knowledge of Chinese forms of address. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Wei Wuxian knows the subtleties of this sort of thing better than I do. 
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ANYhoo, Wei Wuxian lets Xiao Xingchen know who he is, without actually saying his name, since some of these kids might have good hearing. He tells Sizhui to get a bowl of congee. Jin Ling objects to helping XXC, because he might be a bad guy, and Jingyi vigorously defends him, saying that he was being attacked by corpses, so is definitely a good guy. That...is not how zombie attacks work, but ok. He also cites Lan rules about helping the dying, which is a rare instance of Jingyi giving a fuck about the rules.
After bringing the congee, Sizhui looks at Xiao Xingchen's sword and immediately recognizes it as Shuanghua, announcing it to the other juniors, who come racing over to look. 
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The kids instantly figure out that the guy is Xiao Xingchen. They don't recognize him, mind you, just his sword. Sword fans, amirite? All of these kids are active members of the spiritual-sword fandom and can recognize swords they've never seen, but only heard about on Tumblr.
Zombie Stroll
A bunch of zombies start walking down the street at this point in a thoroughly un-menacing fashion, including one disturbingly hot zombie who looks into the window. 
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This is to prepare us for the arrival of the #1 Hot Zombie, Song Lan. 
Before that, though, Wei Wuxian is going to do another spell to lock the door, so he slices his fingers open *before* asking the kids if they have any talisman paper. 
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This is like when I start cooking the green onions for my protein-obsessed teenage son's omelet that I make every goddamn morning in a bid to always do the exact opposite of my own mother's shitty parenting before I check to see if I have any eggs. Crack the eggs first, Wei Wuxian.
All of the kids offer up their blood, which he doesn't need, but don't have any blank talisman paper. Why does he need paper when he drew the other spell in the middle of the air? Never mind, never mind.
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He is unfairly annoyed at this, considering that he didn't bring any paper either. He overwrites an Already-Been-Chewed one that Jin Ling produces and uses it to seal the door, which totally astonishes all of the junior cultivators, like they haven't seen magic before.
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Immediately after he seals the door, Song Lan drops in through a hole in the ceiling, that Wei Wuxian really should have thought about when sealing the room up.  
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Song Lan strikes a sexy pose--oh, who am I kidding, all of his poses are sexy--and stands there being admired for a bit, before half-heartedly swinging a sword toward Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian responds by verrrry sloooowly booting up his flute and playing something, while all of the kids lunge toward Song Lan at the same time, and all get deflected and knocked down. 
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The flute playing does seem to stop Song Lan from actually killing anyone, and they are able to tie him up with their magic shibari rope.
A note about how Wei Wuxian's powers appear to work, for those who find his abilities confusing. As I understand it, any skilled cultivator can make use of ambient energy from the world around them. This allows the use of talismans without needing a golden core. With a golden core, a person can store qi in their body instead of relying on ambient energy.
Wei Wuxian, as the inventor of Demonic cultivation Xue Chonghai? We don’t know him. is able to pull on ambient *resentful* energy from the dead folks around him and use it to do stuff. But he can't store it in his body very well, which is why he creates the Yin Tiger Seal. It's already pre-loaded with Yin energy and he dumps more into it to get it out of his own body. At least, he stops farting big clouds of resentment smoke after he refines the tiger seal. 
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Episode 21: That’s-a spicy meatball
So, Wei Wuxian in Yi City doesn't have the yin tiger seal to draw on, but the place is chock full of ambient yin energy for him to use. Also the tiger seal 2.0 is in the room with him right now, although he's not aware of that. Is it weird that he can’t sense that his supposed uncle is carrying a giant chunk of yin metal? Never mind, never mind.
When Wei Wuxian sees that Song Lan is wearing the same black contact lenses that Wen Ning had before --well, probably not the same exact ones, the budget wasn't THAT low--he remembers about the nails in Wen Nings head, and pulls a similar nail out of Song Lan's head. 
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Unfortunately he only remembered one of the two nails he extracted from Wen Ning, because he doesn't check Song Lan for a second nail, and Song Lan's contact lenses remain stubbornly in place.
Soundtrack: 1.Bel Biv Devoe, Poison 2. Coolio, Fantastic Journey
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