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#rhys is probably like Az tbh
prythianpages · 2 months
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Lay All Your Love On Me | Cassian x Reader
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summary: Cassian is your best friend and best friend’s don’t thirst after one another. Best friends don’t get jealous. Best friends also don’t fall in love with one another. But you did.
warnings: mild angst; smut at the end; basically, mutual jealousy
a/n: this was inspired by ABBA's song. I'm working on a series where I dedicate a song to each of the ACOTAR men and you can find the masterlist here. I feel like this is borderline crack at some points tbh and probably the longest one shot I've ever written. Also, the amount of times I've rewritten this is insane so I hope you like this final version ❤
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Adrenaline courses through your veins. The wind becomes your companion, offering a resistance that you always find yourself craving. It caresses your skin, leaving a bittersweet ache. Running is the closest feeling to flying. Though your wings, tucked behind you, remain, they are rendered useless and forever will be. Those sick Illyrian males, paid off by your own brother, made sure of that.
Sometimes, you wish they would’ve just sloughed them off. An Illyrian with no wings is a tragedy but an Illyrian with useless wings is a devastating tragedy. A fate that, unfortunately, all Illyrian females have to endure.
Heated frustration surges within you, spurred on by the luminous blue hues radiating from the siphons encircling your wrists. You shake your head and take deep breaths because you can not let those triggering thoughts win. You can’t let them win. The primal thud of your heart urges you to push forward and–
“Fuck, marry, kill.”
“Cassian,” you nearly hiss, though the flutter in your chest betrays you. 
“Come on,” he says, a grin playing on his lips as he matches your pace. “Me, Az, and Rhys. Go!”
You slow down your pace to shoot him a sidelong glance and pivot, turning to run the opposite direction. Heat rises to your cheeks. You blame it on your exercise. 
“We played this last night.”
Undeterred, Cassian picks up his pace to stay ahead of you, running backwards with ease. “And you didn’t answer me.”
As you both rounded a corner, someone bumped into you. Your steps faltered slightly before you caught your own balance. 
“Oops. Sorry, didn’t–”
The Illyrian male who collided with you didn’t even have time to finish his apology, as insincere as it was. Cassian shoved him, sending the male plummeting to the ground with a growl. You swear you hear him choke on dirt.
“Watch it, asshole.”
When Cassian turns back to you, you arch a brow at him and he gives you a nonchalant shrug. You both know that male intentionally bumped into you. As one of the few Illyrian females who has defied tradition and trained extensively, the disrespect constantly thrown at you is no surprise. Though you’re no longer fazed by it, you can’t say the same for Cassian.
His gaze softens and grin returns, the wind tousling his dark hair as he maintains his backward stride. “Now, where were we?”
“Fine,” you say with a huff.
It’s not in Cassian’s nature to give up. You’ve played this game multiple times, introduced by Mor, with the inner circle on drunken nights. You were always quick with your answers but not this time. Not when your options were three of your close friends and among them, there was one you secretly or maybe not so secretly harbored feelings for.  That and the lack of liquid courage you usually have at your side when playing.
“Fuck Azriel.”
Cassian’s steps come to a stop and so do yours, albeit reluctantly. There’s a glint in his hazel eyes as he looks at you. “I’m going to tell him.”
“Go ahead,” you reply because you don’t care if the Shadowsingers knows. He’s the safest choice of them all and he wouldn’t let this stupid game get to his head unlike Cassian. “You know that’d be your answer too.”
Both you and Cassian share a look because you’re not wrong.
Then, you both are turning your heads to find the Shadowsinger. Azriel stands at the far end of the training grounds, engaged in the rhythmic lifting of weights. Shirtless. The distance between you two and him is vast, rendering any audible communication impossible. However, the subtle play of shadows around his ears catches your attention, and as if sensing your gazes, he turns, narrowing his eyes at both you and Cassian with an uncanny perceptiveness.
Caught red-handed, both you and Cassian turn your heads away. He looks at you again. “So,” he starts once more and you bite back the urge to groan. At this moment, you’re almost inclined to reveal that you’d like to do all three to the Illyrian male in front of you.
 “Who will you be marrying? Me or Rhys?”
It’s as if he heard his name being called. Rhysand prods gently at the shields of your mind and when you allow him in, you know he relayed the same message to Cassian and Azriel. You both head over to the sparring grounds, where Azriel is already waiting for you. He throws a sword to you and then to Cassian.
Cassian wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively and you slap his arm. He pinches your side in retaliation, a reminder that you’re not going to live this one down. He moves into position and you mirror him.
He lifts his sword, feigning a lunge that you counter with a swift parry. Your movements are both graceful and calculated, a testament to the years of training under his guidance. Meanwhile, Azriel circles around you both, a silent spectator.
Cassian’s strikes intensify, growing more precise every time. Your swords clash, ringing in the air. But despite your skill, Cassian is stronger, more experienced. Seizing an opportune moment, he lunges with a force that sends you stumbling backward. Your sword clatters to the ground as you find yourself seated on the training grounds.
"Did I serve?" Cassian smirks, offering a mock salute, his muscles flexing in a playful display. "Or did I serve?"
He twirls his sword with a flourish, unaware of the glare you shoot his way. With a determined huff, you gather yourself, reaching for your fallen weapon and swiftly rising to your feet. In a strategic move, you deliver a swift kick, sweeping Cassian off his feet and onto his back.
With a triumphant grin, you step forward, placing a boot on his chest to keep him on the ground. You press your weight on him teasingly, knowing that Azriel is not the only one watching you two anymore. Hazel eyes sparkle back at you with a mixture of pride and a subtle undertone, a hint of something more lingering beneath the surface, as your sword hovers just above his neck. It brings forth an unspoken tension between you both and if you hadn’t blinked, you wouldn’t have missed the way Cassian licks his lips as he looks up at you.
"You got served."
Cassian laughs as you drop your sword and lift your boot. You don’t bother to offer him a hand, wanting to bask in your victory as much as possible but much to your dismay, Azriel helps him up.
Thank you for humbling him.
You turn around to see Rhysand. His lips purse, suppressing his amusement. His eyes become unreadable as he dons his High Lord mask. A palpable aura of immense power radiates from him. 
Beside him, stands another male, whose presence commands just as much attention as Rhysand. His skin is a rich brown and hair white. You’ve never met him before but you know who he is as Rhysand had informed you of his visit. It’s why you were conveniently training in Windhaven, despite your preference for the training grounds atop the House of Wind.
The three of you greet Rhysand first before bowing your heads in respect to the High Lord of the Summer Court.
“This is Cassian, general commander of my armies. This is y/n, one of our great Illyrian warriors and this is Azriel, my spymaster. They are all well equipped and are looking forward to working with your soldiers for the next two weeks.”
**
You’ve rarely traveled outside of the Night Court. You weren't a high fae like Mor or Rhysand so you couldn’t winnow and after the clipping of your wings, you couldn’t fly like Cassian or Azriel. So your friends were your main means of transportation and you were looking forward to working with High Lord Nostrus’s soldiers as it was a means for you to get to explore another one of Prythian’s lovely courts.
But now that you’re here, in their training grounds, you’re no longer looking forward to being here for the next two weeks.
Not when one particularly strikingly beautiful female soldier has set her eyes on Cassian and certainly not when there’s an unfamiliar burning resentment in your chest too strong to ignore. It flares every time her gaze or touch lingers too long. By the Cauldron, since when did every woman you see become a potential threat with Cassian? He is your friend.
A reminder that stings as much as the intensity of the burning feeling coursing through you. Though, you’ve never felt this way before, you realize that you’ve been more sensitive in anything Cassian these past couple of months–since starfall. It’s as if he casted a spell on you, one where you can only think about him. He’s your every waking thought and lingers as your final thought before sleep.
The feeling in your chest flares to a blazing fire when you overhear him praise the female soldier and the wooden sword splinters in your grasp, falling to the ground. 
This is going to be a long two weeks.
“Are you jealous?” Azriel muses beside you.
“Me?” You say with a huff, kicking the evidence of the broken sword away. Of course it doesn’t go unnoticed by Azriel, the skilled spymaster. The corner of his lips quirk up but you insist. “Jealous? Never.”
You send an amused Azriel a glare before picking up another practice sword. Determined to not let your jealousy get in the way, you engage yourself in training the small group assigned to you. You were here for a reason and you’d give the soldiers under your command your all.
**
After a full afternoon of training, you were eager to clean the dirt and sweat off your skin. You were also eager to distance yourself as much from Cassian and that female before you did something you’d regret. Your bath worked wonders to ease every tense muscle. If you hadn’t been invited by High Lord Nostrus to dinner, you would’ve basked in the warmth of the water a little longer. The sound of waves crashing soothes you as you make your way to your bed, ruffling your damp hair with a towel.
Nestled adjacent to Cassian's and Azriel's quarters, your room stands vast and breathtaking. It’s also missing an entire wall. In its place, vines adorned with blooming dahlias weave along the room's edges, seamlessly bridging the gap between the interior and the great sea outdoors. 
Your attention gravitates towards the bed, adorned in the softest silks, a sanctuary you can’t wait to sink into. Atop it rests a box, concealing an invitation to dinner and an outfit that differs greatly from your Illyrian leathers.
You find a dress. A pale blue masterpiece with a daring plunging neckline and high slits. You’ve never worn anything like it. The fabric is soft and weightless, its wispy texture feels like a gentle sea breeze caressing your skin with every step. You appreciate that it was backless to accommodate your wings.
Sitting down at the vanity, the jewelry that was in the box sparkles back up at you. You're touched by the High Lord’s gesture but you’re also wary of all his gifts. You settle on the most simplest of jewelry–diamond earrings and a sapphire necklace that reminds you of the siphons you wear. You have three in total but the one wrapped around your wrist is the only one you keep with you at all times. You save the other two for when you’re training or fighting to help you control your power.
As you step out of your room, Cassian and Azriel's eyes are drawn to you. You smile at them in greeting. Cassian's gaze lingers, a silent appreciation etched in every curve and contour he not so discreetly takes in. Warmth prickles at your skin, and an inexplicable spark ignites within your chest in response.
Azriel clears his throat, amused eyes dancing between you two. “Shall we?”
Cassian, as if emerging from a trance, regains his composure and grins at you. He extends his arm and you gratefully hook yours through his as he leads the way down the hall. You notice that he also switched his leathers into something more befitting the Summer court’s warmth. He wears dark navy linen pants that match Azriel’s but unlike the dark shirt the Shadowsinger wears, he chose a lighter colored one. The fabric is nearly see through, offering a teasing peek at the tattoos embellishing his chest and the defined muscles that lie beneath.
You feel his gaze on you as you walk beside him that prompts you to look up at him in question. He takes a moment to respond and finally with a sheepish smile says, “you smell nice.”
“Oh, thanks. I used coconut soap that was left in my bathroom,” you respond, a tinge of confusion and subtle disappointment coloring your words. At least it was an actual compliment unlike last starfall when all he said was “you look different.” Yet, it embarrassingly still had the same effect, leaving you blushing. 
Azriel, walking behind you, can't help but let out a snort. Idiots, he thinks to himself. His shadows agree.
**
There’s a wide assortment of delicious food laid out for you all. Your lips quirk up when you catch the way Cassian’s eyes light up at the sight. You take the seat next to him and Azriel the seat across from you. High Lord Nostrus sits at the head of the table, gesturing for you all to dive in. With a snap of his fingers, the golden chalices in front of you fill with a sweet wine.
“I appreciate you all for your efforts in helping strengthen my armies.”
Cassian’s mouth was full of food and Azriel brought his drink to his lips, not keen on the idea of making small talk with the High Lord. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes at your male companions, you muster a smile and turn to Nostrus instead.
“I believe we should be the ones thanking you for being such a gracious host. As emissaries of our esteemed High Lord, it is our sincere desire that our efforts not only strengthen your armies but also fortify the bonds of alliance between the courts of Summer and Night.”
“Of course.” Nostrus's turquoise eyes study you, and you can feel the weight of his gaze settling on your wings. The instinct to protectively tuck them in tighter behind you flares, a vulnerable self-consciousness settling in. "From my understanding, it is not common for an Illyrian female to train and fight. Am I right?"
“Yes, you are correct. But I am working closely with my High Lord to rectify that.”
Cassian, sensing your unease, swallows his food, and a reassuring hand finds its place on your thigh, offering a comforting squeeze. You're familiar with Cassian's expressive and caring nature through touch. However, his simple and sweet gestures, such as the way he’s touching your thigh right now, sends your heart racing instead.
"I watched you from afar this afternoon. You took down some of my best soldiers with ease," Nostrus remarks, and a gentle breeze from the nearby sea courses through the open dining room, sending a shudder through your wings. His perceptive eyes catch the movement. "Your wings are different."
The hand on your thigh tightens, mirroring the constriction in your throat.
"High Lord–" Cassian begins, a subtle warning threaded through his otherwise light tone.
Nostrus raises his hand. "I mean no harm. Truly." 
His gaze remains fixed on you as he continues, "As you see, we pride ourselves on every soldier, regardless of gender. Anyone who swears loyalty to this court is held in great esteem. I protect them as much as they would protect my court. While I do not know your story, I now know your worth, and if the Night Court is not able to appreciate you, then–"
"The Night Court appreciates her just fine," Cassian interrupts, a protective edge slicing through his words. He hates Nostrus’s accusatory tone and ignores the warning look Azriel sends his way.
You place a hand over Cassian’s but keep your eyes on Nostrus. “You flatter me, High Lord,” you manage to say with a smile. “Though my scars may say otherwise, I can assure you that my High Lord treats me well. In fact, High Lord Rhysand is working on banning the practice of clipping wings so our future generations will not know the horrors enacted under previous rulers…”
**
Your wings, draped behind you, bear the burden of your trauma–the betrayal of your brother. You hate how sensitive you are at the mere mention of them. You wipe hastily at your eyes. Cassian, who refused to part ways with you at your door, stands silently beside you. Your haunting memories store themselves back into the depths of your mind as his movements catch your attention. It’s strange but comforting, the way he always knows when you don’t want to talk and are in need of a distraction instead.
But your cheeks heat up because you’re unsure if this distraction is a good idea. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Cassian grins at you as he continues stripping himself of his clothes. “I’m going for a swim.”
He winks at you as he kicks his pants off, leaving him in only his boxer briefs that are clinging to him in a way that makes your mouth nearly water. You pull your gaze away, hating the way your mind wants to drift to devious thoughts because you know what lies underneath. You’ve seen him in his full glory far too many times than you’d like to admit–each one of them on accident.
Your heart flutters madly against the fragile cage of your chest and you press a hand against it as if that would do anything to ease your racing heart. Because Cassian is your best friend and best friend’s don’t thirst after one another. Best friends also don’t fall in love with one another. 
But you did.
He was your mentor before he became your friend and each passing year since then seemed to usher in a quiet surrender. Almost as if every step was an unspoken agreement with your heart, blurring in between the fine line of friendship and something else. You navigated the staircase of emotions, unaware, until you stood near the bottom. Instead of gracefully reaching the last step, the sudden realization of your feelings felt like a forceful tumble, leaving you to hit the ground and boy did you hit it hard.
The sound of a joyful splash resonates through the air, harmonizing with the playful melody of droplets that dance against your bare legs. You shoot a glare Cassian’s way, even though you didn’t mind, and you can’t bring yourself to care when he flicks a middle finger at you in response. You’re far too used to them to be bothered. Realizing that the water felt nice and warm, you nestle yourself on the edge of the floor. You hike your dress up and then dip your legs into the soothing waters.
Bathed in the ethereal glow of moonlight, Cassian floats on his back, allowing his wings to carry him through the soft waves. Your gaze lingers on him, tracing the moonlit contours of his muscles. Another splash pulls you out of your trance and this time, the droplets reach the thin fabric of your dress.
“Come on, bibble!” Cassian exclaims.
Your glare returns, irritation flickering in your eyes. “I told you to stop calling me that!”
His grin widens, undeterred. “Won’t you join me?”
You respond with a swift kick, creating a splash that dances towards him. Regret settles in immediately as his eyes light up in the moonlight, holding mischief, as he swims toward you.
“Bibble’,” he nearly purrs, somehow making the stupid nickname sound downright sinful. He braces his hands on either side of you, the muscles of his arms flexing. His chest brushes against your legs and all you can think about is how nice he feels so close to you. “Why won’t you join me?”
You’re looking anywhere but him. “I don’t feel like it.”
Cassian hums, his thoughtful gaze lingering for a moment longer than you'd expect. You release a breath you didn't realize you were holding when he turns his head. It’s a short lived moment of relief because in a heartbeat, he pulls your legs from underneath you and drags you into the water with him. You’re splashing and writhing and like an idiot, your mouth opens in panic.
Cassian's strong arms swiftly encircle you, pulling you up from the water's depths. As you resurface, you're coughing and sputtering, water droplets cascading down your face. He chuckles while you hit his chest. 
"I can't swim, you idiot!" 
"Relax," Cassian laughs, his hands holding your hips firmly to keep you afloat with him. His expression, though soft, morphs into something more serious. "I’ve got you. I always will.”
His words unrattle something deep within you and you can’t move, can’t think properly. You can only feel. Your mind goes blank and eyes grow distant as you’re brought back to the night he first said those words. Right after he found you laying in a pool of your own blood. It was the night your wings were clipped. A hand reaches out to caress your face and his fingers rest on your chin, directing your focus to him. 
Tears threaten the corners of your eyes. The desire to avert your gaze is strong, but he doesn't permit it. He needs you to answer him. "You know that, right?"
A breath catches in your throat before you finally manage to whisper, "Yeah."
Cassian's lips form a rare, softer smile. He draws you closer until you can feel his breath, sense his warmth. He kisses your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment longer and when he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. A thumb brushes gently against your cheek. His gaze dips to your lips and absentmindedly, his thumb slowly traces along your bottom lip. There’s a faraway look in his eyes as he’s lost in contemplation.
Your heart is roaring in your ears and there’s something singing madly in your chest because he’s never touched you like this before. Tell him. Your breath is shaky when you speak. "Cas?"
He holds his gaze to your lips, allowing the soft rocking of a wave to push him closer to you. "Yes?"
Suddenly, the night sky bursts into a kaleidoscope of colors. The unexpected spectacle and the resonating boom startles you, and on instinct, you find refuge in the safety of Cassian's embrace. If he weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment, he would’ve teased you for the way you are clinging madly onto him, legs and arms wrapped tightly around him.
"Wow," you exhale, the initial shock giving way to a relaxed sense of awe.
The fireworks continue to bloom overhead, their vibrant hues reflecting in your wonderstruck eyes. You gradually unwrap your legs from around Cassian, and your arms loosen their hold around his neck. Yet, he maintains a firm grip on your hips.
“Beautiful.”
You hum in agreement, and when you turn back to Cassian, you realize his gaze has never wavered from you throughout the entire display. "What were you going to say?"
"What?"
"What were you going to say earlier…"
"Oh, that," you stammer, panic subtly seeping in, eyebrows furrowing slightly. The courage you once possessed to voice your feelings has dissipated in the wake of the unexpected interruption. “Um, can you teach me how to swim?”
His gaze lingers on you. It’s as if he knows those were not the words you were going to say but he doesn’t push you on it. “Sure,” he says instead and clears his throat, looking away. “But maybe another night?”
“Why?”
You regret your question as soon as you ask it, eyes widening when you feel why. There’s something hard poking at your stomach. You freeze up, not knowing what to do, inadvertently making matters worse. Though the night is dark, the moon glows bright enough for you both to notice your peaked nipples as the thin light fabric of your dress is completely see through in the water.
“Stop staring!” You cry out, using one of your hands to splash water onto him. If he weren’t your lifeline, the only thing keeping you afloat in these deep waters, you would’ve shoved him under water.
Cassian snaps out of it with a flinch, blinking away the salty droplets of water that splashed into his eyes. “I was looking respectfully!”
“Respectfully my ass!”
“I mean, I could look at that too.”
You shoot him a glare, hating the way his words have your insides in a frenzy. He doesn’t seem to care about his obvious arousal poking at you and you don’t have it in you to tease him as you’re desperately trying to hide yours, praying that the vast sea surrounding you is enough to mask your scent. Your hands are grasping out for the vines that run along the edge of the tiles as soon as you can reach them, using them to guide you back into the safety of your room.
You pause before you hoist yourself back up, turning to look at a clearly amused Cassian. 
“Turn around.”
“Oh, come on,” he chuckles but saves you further embarrassment by doing as you asked. You wait until his back is fully turned to you, wings flaring out behind him and spraying you with sea water on purpose, to hoist yourself up into your room. Once you’re on your feet, you pull at one of the many sheets on your bed, wrapping it snug around your exposed body.
“You can turn back around now.” 
“You can look as much as you want, bibble.” He tells you though your gaze remains fixed on the seashell painting on one of your walls. Your mind is racing and if he asked you what colors were on the painting, you would fail miserably in answering him.  “Disrespectfully too.”
You can hear his agonizingly slow footsteps as he makes his way to the door, not bothering to pick up the clothes he left sprawled all over your floor.  “Get out,” you nearly growl at him, not caring anymore, as you turn around and shove at his back. Because if he doesn’t leave soon, you’re sure you’ll lose your self control.
“Mother’s tits, y/n! I’m going!” He exclaims in protest with a grin evident in his tone.
“Well, go faster!” You huff at him, hands still pressing against his back. “I’m.Tired.”
Tired of holding back your emotions, more like it. As soon as he steps out your door, you’re slamming it shut before he can catch a glimpse of your flustered face.
“Sweet dreams, bibble.”
Leaning against the door, you take a moment to catch your breath as Cassian's deep laughter echoes through the halls. You close your eyes, attempting to rein in the whirlwind of emotions surging within you. It’s not the first time Cassian’s teased you and it won’t be the last and you’re certainly not the only one he flirts with. The female soldier from earlier being a prime example of that.
You know he means no harm by it. Yet, his teasing stings. Because you want it to be real, for him to mean every flirtatious gesture and word. You want him to like you and only you.
**
Nostrus's attempts to entice you into staying in his court become increasingly overt with each passing day. Every evening unveils a new gown adorned with matching jewelry and shoes. Precisely at the stroke of ten, the night sky ignites in a display of vibrant fireworks dedicated to the three of you but when you commented the red ones were your favorite, you note more shades of reds lighting up the night skies. Each morning, a charming arrangement of summer flowers graces your presence. Even the soldiers in your training group can't help but notice the High Lord's watchful gaze whenever he deigns to join them.
Azriel finds the spectacle amusing, always the silent observer to any unfolding drama. However, Cassian is less entertained. During your nightly debriefs with Rhysand, he consistently raises the issue and you’ve noticed that during training, he sticks closer to you. 
None of you bring up the heated moment you shared on your first night in Summer. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen at all and you’re not surprised. While it meant something to you, you know it meant nothing to him.
The female soldier, Olianna, you reluctantly learned her name, is as persistent with him as Nostrus is to you. You’re nearing the end of your first week when the female soldier and a couple of others join your nightly dinner with Nostrus and tonight, in her ruby red dress, she looks devastatingly beautiful. She takes the seat beside Cassian. Your unassigned but assigned spot. You begrudgingly sit beside Azriel instead, who is quick to raise a brow at you.
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he replies and when you kick his leg under the table, there’s the faintest of a coy smile on his lips.
You barely even touch your plate. There’s a bitter taste in your mouth and it’s not from the food. Cassian has barely even looked at you, engrossed in what appears to be a hilarious conversation with Olianna. You’re thankful when Nostrus excuses you all from dinner, quick to rise from your seat.
“Y/N, may I have a word?” Nostrus calls to you with a smile and when Cassian’s head perks up, finally sparing you a second of his attention, he adds: “In private.”
**
As you make your way back to your room, after a pointless conversation with Nostrus, your steps come abruptly to a halt. Your heart quickens and stomach tightens as you spot Cassian and Olianna down the hall.
Olianna’s hands rest on Cassian’s arms as she looks up at him. Her back is pressed against the wall. He leans down to whisper something that you can’t discern from your distance. It has her giggling and the sound is like a painful stab to your heart. They’re so, so close. That familiar ache settles in your chest, pushing down on you so harshly you can barely breathe. 
How desperately you wish to trade places with her and maybe that could’ve been you, if you had given in to his teasing the other night. While he’d give his body to you, you know his heart would not fall so easily such as the way yours did. Cassian is a true heartthrob, a man who effortlessly captivates the hearts of many but never the one to give his. Why would you be an exception?
You try to push away your unease but fail miserably when they walk further down the hall and disappear around a corner. Doubt begins to creep in, seeping into your bones with a terrifying chilling fear. Maybe, just maybe, there is something more between them and you had lost a battle only you were aware of fighting.
Tears burn at your eyes and as you hear the door shut behind him, you feel your heart shatter at the images that flood your mind. Of him kissing her, touching her and–Stop! 
You’re running blindly to your room, too caught up in your emotions to realize your mistake. Azriel blinks at your sudden entrance, seated on his bed. However, the distress etched across your face propels him to throw his book aside and jump to his feet. Shadows flit towards you, brushing against your exposed skin and he lets out a small exhale in relief when they report no injuries.
"Should I get Cas?" Azriel offers, eyes widening slightly as concern etches its way onto his features.
Your hand reaches out, stopping him before he can leave the room. "No."
He looks at you helplessly. He’s seen you cry before but Cassian was always there in those moments. Yes, Azriel regards you as a good friend–you’ve trained with him for many years alongside Cassian. He’d happily tend to your physical injuries because it was something he was capable of but the depth of your current pain is something he is unsure how to navigate. Something only Cassian uniquely understands.
"Okay," Azriel says slowly, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "What do you need?"
Frustration colors your attempt to wipe away the tears, and a sniffle escapes you. You’ve never felt so small, so fragile and as Azriel watches you break in front of him, realization dawns on him. Something must’ve happened between you and Cassian and his mouth parts to ask but you beat him to it.
"I need you to teach me how to swim." 
**
The next morning you can’t bring yourself to meet Cassian’s gaze. Images of him with Oliana flood your mind every time you cast a glance in his direction and the ache in your chest resurfaces. It’s irrational, you know. He’s not at fault for your feelings. After all, you’re just a friend to him. You have no claim to his affection, even though every fiber of your being yearns for it.
You are the problem.
When he reaches out, his hand lightly grasping your arm, you muster only a feeble greeting. You hear the concern in his voice as he asks what's wrong.
"Nothing," you reply, forcing a smile. "I'm just tired."
You feel the weight of his gaze burning into you as you head over to your group. He casts a glance toward Azriel in silent questioning but the Shadowsinger simply shakes his head. 
**
The sun bathes Summer’s training grounds in a warm glow and sweat clings to your skin as you show one of your soldiers a delicate maneuver with your sword that Illyrians favor during battle.
As your gaze lifts with your sword, you catch a glimpse of Cassian and Oliana sparring. Your chest tightens when you can’t help but notice their proximity to one another. The sweet sound of her laughter follows shortly after and the tightening in your chest is replaced with a burning fire.
“I don’t think I’m doing it right. Can you teach me again?”
“Of course.”
Cassian's gaze briefly meets yours, and a sudden rush of emotion courses through you. You’re quickly averting your eyes, attempting to feign disinterest. You tell yourself you're no longer watching them, but deep down, your mind is painting vivid pictures, imprinting scenes of Cassian with her. 
However, this time, it's not sadness that simmers within. It’s a burning anger and your siphons flare. Cassian is free to do whatever he pleases in his spare time but during training? When you’re working and glaringly right in front of you?
Olianna’s laughter rings out again, the sound mingling with the clash of steel. Another pang of envy stabs through your chest, sharper than the blade in your hand. 
“Like this?”
“Yeah, you got it, sweetheart.”
Your blood runs cold, sending shivers down your spine yet, there’s an undeniable blaze burning fiercely within your chest. It’s a possessive fire, a primal instinct screaming “mine” in the depths of your very being. Why does she get a sweet nickname and you a stupid one? Why is he so gentle in training her when he was harsh with you?
“That’s it,” you hiss under your breath, looking back at your group. “I’m going to show you how a fight is won.”
Tightening your grip on your sword, you nearly stomp your way to Cassian. Azriel’s head perks up from where he stands, eyes widening for a fleeting moment as he catches the glow of your siphons. “Y/n, what are–”
“Stay out of it!” You exclaim, pointing your sword at him. The sharp blade teases at his throat and he falters. His shadows whisper to him in warning and he holds his hands up in surrender, catching something flickering in your eyes.
Cassian and Oliana turn their heads at the commotion. She instinctively takes a step behind Cassian and your jaw clenches at the sight. He doesn’t seem to notice it though, attention solely focused on you.
 “What’s the matter, bibble?”
 You point your sword at him. “You.”
“Me?” He responds, a bewildered expression crossing his face. However, he remains unfazed as your sword points directly at his chest. 
“You’ve gone soft, General.” you tell him, inclining your head towards Oliana and you can’t bring yourself to care if your emotions seep out. The envy is coursing through you like an unrelenting fire. “How is she to hone in her skills when she spends most of her training laughing and batting her pretty eyelashes at you?”
Cassian lets out a chuckle. It’s been years since you’ve referred to him by his title. His hazel eyes take you in, sparkling at you with something you can’t discern. He can read the challenge in your eyes and when he finally spares a glance to the female behind him, he turns back to you. His fingers grasp at your blade carefully, lowering your sword so he can take a step forward. 
“She’s not ready to be challenged.”
You smirk at him, standing your ground. “A soldier is never fully prepared for battle.”
Cassian takes another step forward and though your sword lowers further, your grip on the hilt tightens. “And a General knows when it’s best for their soldiers to refrain from entering the battlefield.”
You take pleasure in the way Oliana huffs out indignantly from behind him.
You arch an eyebrow at him in challenge. Deep down, you’re aware nothing good is going to come from this but your Illyrian blood craves an outlet for the pent-up emotions that have been brewing for many years. 
“You fight me then,” you demand and you can feel the simmering fire between you intensifying. You welcome it, almost seeking the chaos it promises. "And don't you dare go soft on me."
His pupils flare and a sly smirk curls upon his lips. “I don’t think you can handle me.”
“Lay it all on me.”
**
Two blood rubies, sinister in their crimson glow, glisten back at you, creating a dance of hues that pulse and flicker with an inner fire. One for Cassian. One for you. Your heart sinks to your stomach and you want to cry.
This is all your doing. Your fault. 
Cassian, however, does not regard the rubies sent from the Summer Court with the same gravity. "Might as well put these beauties to use. I’m sure it would look stunning on a necklace. Maybe, even a ring,” he quips as he picks his up, hazel eyes sparkling with mirth.
You immediately sense that nothing good is going to come from this–the same way you did before the two of you accidentally destroyed a building. He turns to you and gets down on one knee. There’s a mischievous grin playing on his lips as he looks up at you.
“Marry me?" 
A rush of heat floods your face, and your eyes instinctively seek out Rhysand, finding him far from amused. He's fuming with a quiet rage, his gaze icy and piercing. You quickly avert your eyes, shifting your attention back to the Illyrian male now kneeling before you. You nudge his knee with your leg, ignoring the twinge of hurt at the expense of his joke.
"Get up, Cas.”
"Say yes.”
"Get up.”
“You think this is funny??”
You flinch at the sharpness of Rhysand’s tone and Cassian stands with a sigh. His hand brushes against yours but you don’t dare take it. You don’t deserve it. It’s only been hours since your abrupt return from Summer–since your heated fight sent an entire building crumbling into rubble. If Azriel hadn’t used his shadows to return you home immediately after, you’re not sure you’d be alive right now.
“I’m so sorry, Rhys,” you say,  lowering your head and Rhysand’s gaze softens at the nervous fidgeting of your hands. “It’s all my fault.” 
“No, it’s mine.” Cassian steps forward, hand resting on your waist to gently push you back behind him as he takes full responsibility. “I got caught up in the heat of the moment.”
“Cas, I’m the one who challenged you.”
He ignores you. “It was my blast that sent that building, as weak as it already was, to crumble down.”
Rhysand lets out a deep sigh. He leans back into his seat, fingers rubbing at his forehead at the images Azriel provides. He finds that you both are equally at fault. They’re complete wreck less idiots,  Rhysand groans into the Shadowsinger’s mind.
I know.  There’s a hint of amusement in Azriel’s response.
Running a hand down his face in exhaustion, Rhysand looks at both you and Cassian. 
You stand there, still behind Cassian, anxious as you await your impending punishment and he can literally hear your mind racing without having to intrude. Meanwhile, Cassian, seemingly unfazed, hums a carefree tune to himself, earning an incredulous glance from you. 
“Well I can kiss my alliance with the Summer Court goodbye but I will not have a High Lord from another court seeking vengeance on two of my closest friends. You each are going to write your most heartfelt apologies to Nostrus, beg if you must, and let us all pray to the Cauldron that he finds it in his heart to forgive you.”
Parchment, ink and quills appear at the desk before you. With a flick of his wrist, Rhysand uses his magic to bring forth two chairs, gesturing for you and Cassian to sit. “You two are not allowed to leave this room until those letters are finished.”
Rhysand then turns to Azriel. “I need you to watch them. Make sure they don’t destroy any of my buildings.”
A low, almost melodramatic groan escapes Azriel’s lips. “Why do I always have to babysit them?”
“Azriel.”
“Fine.”
Once Rhysand leaves, you slump into one of the chairs with a small sigh of relief. You pick up a quill, dipping it in ink and stare at the blank parchment. Cassian does the same. Azriel picks up a book from one of the shelves. He then seats himself at Rhysand’s chair, right across from you both.
“Please make this quick,” his voice almost pleads, eyes darting between you both.
“You write it for me then.” Cassian rips a piece of paper, crumbling it into a tiny ball before flicking it at his friend. Azriel rolls his eyes, his loyal shadows catching the piece of paper midair and sending it back to Cassian, hitting his forehead with a tiny “whoosh.”
Your eyebrows furrow in an attempt to focus, all the while trying to ignore the distracting bounce of Cassian's leg. Slowly but surely, you’re scribbling words onto the parchment and before you know it, you’re crafting the most sincere apology to High Lord Nostrus. 
Cassian picks up on your deep concentration. He leans in closer, warm breath tickling your ear. “Whatcha writing there, bibble?”
“An apology,” you respond dryly, shooting him a sideways glance. You take note that his paper is still blank. “Something you should be doing too if you want us to make it to dinner.”
“I am. I’m just brainstorming,” he retorts in a ‘duh’ tone. “Let me see yours!”
You’re sliding your parchment away from his prying eyes. “No. Use your own brain!”
Ever the persistent one, Cassian leans in even closer, his head now practically resting on your shoulder as your hands hover over your paper, careful not to smear the fresh ink. “Come on, just a peek. I promise not to steal your most heartfelt words.”
With an exasperated sigh, you relent, allowing him a quick glimpse. His eyes are skimming through the words with an appreciative tilt of his head. “I like it. But maybe add a bit more details and drama, you know? Tug at his heartstrings a little more, he seemed to like you a lot.”
“We’re not trying to craft a masterpiece to win an award, Cassian,” you hiss at him, snatching your letter away from him.
“But you are trying to free yourself of a death sentence.” Azriel remarks, peering over his book at you as he reminds you that receiving a blood ruby from the Summer Court is not something to be taken lightly.
“See? Az gets it.” Cassian chuckles.
“Shut up and get to writing.” Azriel snaps at the busybody beside you, a stern edge in his tone.
“Yes, sir!”
**
Fortunately, the three of you arrive just in time for dinner. Unfortunately, the predominant topic at the table centers around the destruction of the building in the Summer Court. Rhysand, having taken the time to cool down, is noticeably calmer. While he remains upset that you and Cassian veered off course from your assigned mission, there's also a hint of happiness in having his friends back home and safe.
Cassian casually drapes his arm over the back of your chair, and the room is filled with the melody of his laughter in response to something Mor said. Something you should’ve caught as you’re seated right across from her but it’s the rich scent of sandalwood that captivates all your senses, causing your stomach to flutter. You barely manage to swallow your food without choking–a fact not lost on Azriel. He, however, chooses not to comment, sparing you from further embarrassment and grinning into his glass of wine instead.
 Rhysand glares at Mor and you get a sense of what had been said when he says: “Please don’t encourage these architects of chaos.”
You groan, leaning back into your seat. The regret is instant as the edge of your wing brushes against Cassian’s arm. It sends a slight shiver down your spine and you’re mustering all your strength to keep it from causing your sensitive wings to twitch. You’re down bad.
“Can we please talk about something else?”
“Sure, but before we do…” Amren begins, a devious smile playing on her lips as she glances at you from across the table. “Can I keep the rubies?”
“Yeah and you can even keep the threat that comes with it too.”
The rest of dinner is, for the most part, uneventful. Rhysand excuses himself early to finish on some paperwork and before he leaves, he lets you and Cassian know that High Lord Nostrus should be receiving your written apologies by tomorrow morning. Amren leaves shortly after, eager to return to the quiet peace of her home. Just in time, too, as she manages to avoid a pointless argument between Cassian and Azriel over who has the best technique in training.
Not wanting to be dragged into it, you rise from your seat, grabbing a hold of the two remaining unopened wine bottles that Rhysand forgot to take back with him. You turn to Mor and you laugh when you don’t even have to say anything. She’s already standing from her seat, gesturing for you to lead the way.
The two of you end up in one of the living rooms and you’re touched when you find that the sentient house has a delicious assortment of desserts waiting for you on the coffee table. You sink into the comfort of the couch, feeling like you’re sitting on a cloud. Mor seats herself beside you, doing the honors of pouring you a glass of wine.
It doesn’t take long before the two of you are immersed into the dirtiest of gossip and catch up with one another. You move to pour yourself another glass only to find the second wine bottle empty, so you set your empty glass down on the coffee table. Leaning back into the comfort of the plush couch, you let out a sigh.
“I don’t know what he’s done to me,” you confess quietly, exhaustion taking over your features. “I’ve known him for years and all of sudden, I’m a possessive jealous mess? It doesn’t make sense to me.”
Mor raises a brow, as if it makes perfect sense to her. She then hums in contemplation, swirling the last drops of wine in her glass. “Maybe we should go out, have some fun, find a little distraction for you.”
“Or you can tell Cassian how you feel.”
The deep voice startles you both, causing Mor to gasp. Her glass falls from her grasps as Azriel emerges from the shadows. She regards the small specks of red tainting the white carpet with a frown before lifting her gaze to scowl at the Shadowsinger while you shoot him a mortified look.
“How dare you give her a reasonable option?” Mor chides him, waving her hands dramatically in the air.
“Stop with that nonsense, Az,” you say, a slight slur to your words. A frown settles onto your face, heart aching as your mind forces you to think of Cassian and Olianna. “He doesn’t feel the same for me as I do for him. I’ll only ruin our friendship if I do.”
Azriel’s eyes travel throughout the room. He takes in the empty bottles of wine, your hazy eyes and Mor’s flushed face. He looks like he wants to tell you something, on the verge of sharing a secret. Yet, whatever words linger on the tip of his tongue remain unspoken. He decides it’s best to turn around and leave, the inked wing on his arm burning further into his skin.
“Fine but don’t call me for help when you destroy another building.”
"Oh, fuck you."
He doesn't bother to turn around as he returns the gesture, a small chuckle escaping from him as he disappears into his shadows.
“So,” you turn back to Mor. “How about that distraction?” 
**
“By the Cauldron, you look absolutely ravishing.” Mor whistles, stepping back to appreciate her work and as you look at your reflection in the mirror, you can’t help but agree.
After asking Rhysand to fly you both down, Mor winnowed you both to the townhouse, where she kept most of her going out clothes as it was a shorter distance to Rita’s. Insisting on glamming you up, she took charge of your hair and makeup, even providing you with a choice from her wardrobe. Considering the wings, your options were limited, but your gaze was drawn to a striking red satin dress. It had an alluring lace-up open back and a daring slit hem.
After scouring the dance floor for an hour from your seat at the bar, you finally find someone who catches your interest and as you approach him, you’re happy to find that he isn't intimidated by the sight of your wings. Despite your determination to keep a low profile in Velaris, it becomes challenging to go unnoticed when your friends all possess such great reputations, especially when Cassian is by your side. Mor wishes you good luck, sending you a wink as you depart from her side. 
The male, who is named Felix, slings an arm around your waist, pulling you flush to him as you dance and you find yourself missing the scent of sandalwood immensely. He grins at you, intentions as clear as yours. “You’re so beautiful,” he says, drinking you under the neon lights of Rita’s. He licks his lips and glances over at your wings. “I’ve heard Illyrians can be very sensitive when it comes to their wings. Can I touch?”
Your mind immediately brings an image forward, of your wings being softly caressed, and heat pools down to your stomach. But in your head, it’s not the male in front of you. It’s Cassian’s.  
“Don’t you dare fucking touch her!”
By the Cauldron, your mind is playing tricks on you as you can even hear his voice too.
You feel the loss of warmth from the male and you open your eyes just in time to see Felix sent stumbling to the floor. Your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you. Cassian is standing in front of you, chest heaving. The people who had stopped to stare quickly avert their gazes at his heated stare.
Felix gets up to his feet. He doesn’t even spare you a glance or a word as he disappears into the crowd. You’re immediately leaving the dance floor, not bothering to grab your coat before you exit the club with Cassian hot on your heels.
You pivot and Cassian nearly bumps into you. “What the fuck Cassian?”
“Yeah,” he agrees, returning your glare. “What the fuck?”
“Why are you even here?”
“I don’t know. Something didn't feel right." Cassian confesses, placing a hand over his chest as if to settle a pain.
You turn back around, knowing the towering Illyrian male was already planning to follow you. You begin to make your way to your place–a small apartment that Rhysand had gifted you on your first solstice in Velaris. You seldom used it, preferring to stay at either the house of wind or townhouse, but Rhysand insisted you have a place of your own in case you ever need space.
“And that gave you the right to ruin my night?” you huff over your shoulder.
“Ruin your night? I just saved you!”
“From what?” You laugh with sarcasm, grateful that the walk from your apartment and Rita’s was short. Pulling your key out from your bra, you hastily unlock your door.  “An orgasm? Gee, thanks. Love you for that,” and then under your breath mutter: “I didn’t stop you from yours in Summer.”
As soon as you step through your door, you turn and shut it behind you. A boot stops you from doing so and Cassian pushes against you and the door, allowing himself in. “What are you talking about?”
“You mean to tell me nothing happened between you and Olianna?”
“Yes, because nothing happened! She asked me to help her with a move after dinner so I did and…” His voice trails off, and then a heavy silence descends as realization washes over him. He looks at you, and you instinctively avert your gaze.
Without bothering to slip off your heels, you dart straight to your room, desperate to put as much distance between the two of you. You’re not ready to have this conversation. Relief mingles with embarrassment, both emotions flooding you and sending blood rushing to your face. But Cassian is determined. He follows after you.
“Were you jealous?”
Arms crossed over your chest, you keep your back to him, wings curled around you. “No.”
Cassian chuckles, and before you know it, he's spinning you around to face him. One hand presses against your lower back, the other at your face. A smirk plays on his lips as he reads the defiant expression on your face. He knows you’re lying.
“You were jealous.”
“So were you,” you manage to say back.
Cassian hums in what can only be agreement. A thumb reaches out to brush your lower lip, the same way he did your first night in Summer, and then he’s replacing his thumb with his lips. The way he wanted to that night. His kiss is anything but gentle. It’s pure heated desire–one that has been simmering for years. You kiss him back, matching his urgency and he groans, allowing both of his hands to cup your face as his lips mold perfectly against yours.
He pulls away, his hands still cradling your face as his gaze burns into yours. “You want to orgasm tonight? I can give it to you.”
A thrill runs down your spine and your wings shudder. You should push him away. Cassian is your friend. A friend… who is offering to give you an orgasm with a very promising look at this very moment. Though your heart tells you not to, that you might end up hurt after this, there’s that singing in your chest again. Give in.
“You sound so confident.”
His eyes darken as his legs push against yours, walking you both to your bed. The back of your knees meet your bed and you give in, allowing yourself to fall onto the soft sheets behind you. You land on your elbows and push yourself even further up on your bed until your back meets your headrest.
“Don’t test me, baby,” he purrs, watching the way your thighs clench in response to the new nickname. It makes his cock harden in his pants. “I can have you screaming all night long.”
“Lay it all on me,” you reply, heart be damned.
Cassian wastes no time in stripping himself of his clothes, lust filled eyes fixated on you. His hard cock springs free and your eyes widen because yes, you’ve seen him before but not like this. Not when he’s hard and leaking and it’s all for you. He pumps himself, licking his lips, as your arousal floods his senses before easing himself onto the bed.
He slips your heels off and discards them. His hands caress their way up your legs and the roughness of his hands, weathered by many battles and challenges, feels heavenly against you. As his hands make their way higher, they begin kneading at the soft flesh of your thighs, dragging your dress up along with his movements. He groans at the thin lace that greets him, pressing his lips against your clothed core.
“You’re so fucking wet.”
“Well, you did catch me in the middle of something promising earlier…”
Cassian growls at your words, a wave of possessiveness taking over him. “Yeah? Well, by the time I’m done with you, it will be my cum dripping out of this pretty pussy.”
He’s tugging at your underwear, hastily dragging it down your legs. With a devious smirk, he grasps your hands and places them over his hair. “Hold on tight, baby.”
It’s the only warning he gives you before diving right in and setting you alight with his mouth. His nose brushes against your clit as he begins to fuck you with his tongue. “Do you know how often I thought of this? Of tasting you.”
You want to tell him you’ve thought of this too but you’re too lost in the pleasure of his mouth. All you can do is moan and it spurs him on, urging him to bring you closer to your release.  “I can only imagine how good I’ll feel inside you.”
His words, a promise of what is to come, is your undoing. You’re squirming beneath him, back arching off the bed as you thread your fingers through his hair. A string of curses leaves your lips when he presses multiple kisses to your clit, overwhelming you in such a delightful way.
Cassian pulls away, mouth glistening with your release as he grins and your heart flutters. He crawls his way up your body, replacing his tongue with his fingers, reveling in the way they easily slide in. His lips slot over yours in a sloppy and heated kiss. When he slips another finger into you, you’re moaning into his mouth. His tongue dances with yours, wrestling for dominance that you ardently submit to.
“Please, Cassian,” you’re begging when his lips leave yours and his cock twitches at the pretty sounds that follow after. Another wave of white hot pleasure crashes over you and he groans, loving the way you're clenching so tightly around his fingers. “I need you.”
Cassian slips his fingers out of you, placing his hands at your hips to flip the both of you over. He adjusts you to straddle his lap, gaze burning into you with need. “Show me.”
“But let’s get rid of this first.” His fingers toy with the slit of your dress. “I need to see all of you.”
You nod, fingers reaching behind to undo the laces of your dress. The sound of fabric ripping reaches your ears before you can undo the first knot and cool air caresses against the newly exposed skin. 
“Cassian!”
“That’s my name, baby,” he grins at you, expertly unclasping your bra and throwing it behind you along with the torn dress.
“That wasn’t my dre–oh.” Your protest dies at your throat, eyes fluttering shut as he takes your breasts in his hands, kneading the soft flesh and pressing them together. The torn dress you borrowed from Mor is long forgotten, stored away in the back of your mind. The same way you stored away all your reservations. The desire that’s been consuming you is too much for you to think through reasonably so you succumb completely into it, knowing there will be consequences to deal with later.
**
It’s almost embarrassing how much Cassian has thought about this, especially after the tease you gave him in Summer. His desires had gone beyond wanting to kiss you that night. He wanted to see, feel and taste every part of you. To hear you moaning and screaming just for him. Now, that you’re completely bare before him, he can look, feel and taste all he wants. And he plans to bask in every second of your warmth.
 “So fucking beautiful,” he breathes, leaning in to take a breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around your hardening nipple with burning hunger. Your hands find purchase in his hair again as you arch yourself further, grinding against him. Lewd moans escape from both of you when the tip of his cock brushes against your sensitive clit. Cassian dives for your neck next, pressing hot open mouthed kisses everywhere he can. 
“Come on, baby girl. Show me how much you need me and ride me.”
Aligning yourself with him, you slowly sink down onto his cock, savoring the burn from the stretch. His fingers run up and down your sides before settling onto your hips. Eyes fluttering shut at the sheer intensity of your warmth, he can’t help but thrust up into you, fully sheathing himself inside you. His head tilts back when you begin to move and he releases a deep groan.
It’s when your thighs start to tremble and wings flare out that he takes over. He hugs you tightly, arm wrapped around your waist while his other hand rubs at your clit. While he pants and groans against your neck, you’re crying and screaming out his name. He plants his feet on the bed and thrusts ruthlessly up into you over and over again until you both reach your high, wings flaring out. 
**
As Cassian stirs in bed, a cool emptiness greets him, replacing the warmth he expected. Blinking his eyes open, he finds the spot beside him empty. You're gone. The lingering trace of your sweet scent is the only evidence of what transpired between you both. Fuck. Apprehension weighs down on his mind in your absence, threatening to sicken his stomach. He needs to talk to you. 
After freshening up and slipping into the spare clothes he keeps at your place, his determination to find you takes hold. It's as if he can sense the storm of emotions within you—guilt, anxiety, and fear. There’s an inkling in his mind as to where you are. He knows you so well. A soft smile graces his lips when he spots you on the training grounds of the house of wind, unleashing powerful strikes on a punching bag.
Your hair is gathered into a carefree bun, and today, you've traded your usual leathers for leggings and a sports bra. You’re a vision of strength and beauty and as loose strands of your hair dance in the breeze, Cassian finds himself lost in the realization of just how deeply in love with you he is. 
He lands softly, fighting the urge to frown when he notices the immediate tension in your body from his presence. He hesitates, his throat bobbing as he looks at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. "Can we—"
"No, let me talk first," you interrupt with a deep sigh as you turn to face him.
"But I had something to say first," he insists with a slight shake of his head.
“I have something more important to say."
Cassian crosses his arms, challenging your claim. "My something is more important than your something."
“I love you.”
The words hang in the air and as the weight of your confession sinks in, a wave of fear grips you. You're certain you've just shattered any hopes of a remaining friendship with him. Because after last night, there's no way you can keep going on as a friend when you want to be so much more. The silence becomes maddening, and suddenly, you can't hold it any longer.
“I love you so much it hurts,” you admit with a trembling breath, tears welling in your eyes. “Because I want your every smile, your every laugh, but above all, I want your heart and–and I’m sorry for–”
“Oh, y/n,” Cassian interrupts with a chuckle.
The sound makes you go weak and you’re absolutely mortified. He rarely ever calls you by your name. He’s about to break your heart, the very thing you’ve been fearing since the realization of your feelings. The urge to run away grips you, but your feet remain planted. You lack the strength to escape the moment. Tears flow freely down your face, and your wings sag behind you, unable to bear the weight of vulnerability.
“You’ve had my heart from the start.”
Slowly, you lift your gaze. Hazel eyes bore into yours, the golden flecks glimmering at you. “What?”
He steps closer to you until he's standing right in front of you. His hands cradle your face as he wipes at your tears. “I’ve loved you for years. I thought I made it pretty obvious, especially after last night.”
“Not obvious enough,” you remark with a huff but there’s a playful and affectionate undertone in your voice.
“I could remind you again?”
"Please."
A radiant smile breaks onto Cassian’s face, and the warmth in his eyes washes away any doubt that may have lingered in your heart. Something within you flutters madly against your ribs. All these years…the teasing, the flirting, the lingering touches. They all meant something to him, the same way it did for you. You’ve loved him and he loved you back. So many years wasted, yearning and pining for one another. As you gaze into each other’s eyes, so many unspoken words are said and there’s a shared understanding that you’re not wasting another moment.
**
Rhysand raises his cup of coffee to his lips, the rich aroma swirling around him as he catches a glimpse of Cassian, carrying you over his shoulder, with an eagerness he’s familiar with. He then glances over the rim of his mug at Azriel, seated across from him at the breakfast table.
"Do you think they know?"
Azriel snorts in response. "Doubt it. I think you should tell them."
“No.” Rhysand's lips curve into a smirk. "Let's see how long it takes them to realize that their mating bond has snapped into place."
“We should probably head out.”
“Good idea,” Rhysand replies with a nod of his head.
In the blink of an eye, the sentient house packs the remnants of their breakfast for them to enjoy elsewhere. Without a moment's delay, they make their way to one of the balconies. Their wings gracefully unfurl behind them, catching the morning sunlight that bathes them in a golden glow.
As they soar away, you and Cassian remain blissfully unaware of the invisible thread that has silently bound your souls together for years.
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tagging: @historiaxvanserra
a/n: I always wanted to write a fic where a mating bond has snapped but neither of them have a clue because they already loved each other, might be a bit unrealistic but 🤷‍♀️ I came across this bibble meme while writing this and it reminded me of both reader and Cas in some aspects. Since I couldn't think of an embarrassing nickname, I went with Bibble and so now the cute little character is canon in Prythian in this lol.
if you want more background info on reader and cas: click here
Other things that I included in this part:
This scene from Vampire Diaries.
also, this tiktok.
689 notes · View notes
bettdraws · 1 month
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Genuine question but if elain and azriel weren’t going to have some romantic relationship, why did SJM even write that first half of the bonus chapter? Elucien are already mates, she could’ve written a scene with them or not mentioned azriel and elain at all.
I’m not saying that gwynriel half of the bonus chapter was meaningless, they DID have good banter and the language used was eyebrow-raising at the very least, like something is def hinted there but I’m just confused about it. Like if she’s going in gwynriel direction, she could’ve JUST written the second half of the scene. We didn’t even KNOW elain and azriel were interacting before. Like why write a scene with Az + elain and then wreck them in the same chapter?
It’s so weird?? It could’ve easily been a set up for elucien and gwynriel but now it looks more like she was setting up for a love triangle between Az Gwyn and Elain.
I don’t know what to make of this 🤷🏻‍♀️ it just felt unnecessary lol bc if the next book IS azriel, I really don’t think she is going to have him move on from Mor to Elain, then Elain to Gwyn over the course of one chapter that didn’t even make it in the book?
It makes me so annoyed to think about that stupid BC. She should’ve never released it bc whether it’s gwynriel or elriel, that bonus chapter doesn’t make sense.
Like yeah yeah, we see how toxic elriel could’ve been and we see how they would never work - but like… tbh I didn’t think anything was happening between elain and azriel UNTIL the bonus chapter. I literally read that and was like HUH when did they—??? And then he was like “this was a mistake” and they went their separate ways and he ended the chapter with Gwyn. If SJM is going for Gwynriel endgame, it would’ve been so much better if she just didn’t even include the first part of the bonus chapter?? And vice versa.
If she hadn’t written the first part, I wouldn’t think elriel was a thing. If she hadn’t written the second part I wouldn’t think gwynriel was a thing.
I don’t think she did it just for drama either so I literally dunno what purpose it serves.
Hey!! That’s a great question, let me dive into it…
I think the bonus chapter has three parts, one with Elain, one with Rhys, one with Gwyn, not only to cement Gwynriel but also to give an end to Elriel. This also while deep diving into Azriel’s thoughts and motivations.
I for one, never really considered Elriel as strongly as their shippers do, but I could tell there was something going on there, in Acowar we got some winks at Elain being comfortable with Azriel (even if kind of in a childish, innocent way) and in Acofas we got the beginning of them acting awkward with eachother, Elain showing Azriel her plans etc, I remember thinking it was at best cute and Elain obviously had a crush on Az (but he was still pretty much still hung up with Mor and she was still mourning her fiance). When I read the BC I was so shocked and uncomfortable with Azriel’s purely sexual thoughts about Elain, it was deliberate, to show the reader Azriel is probably confusing lust with romantic feelings. That’s I think why you say the BC was the first time you saw them as a couple, but this shock to me was more in the way Azriel himself actually viewed Elain, until then we all at least agreed it was in a more tender way, and this was absolutely crushed with his pov (and we actually see this tenderness in the way he thinks about Gwyn instead).
Now to your main question: Why add Elain in his chapter? And to that we first need to answer why SJM wrote Elriel at all.
As an Elucien I can’t come here and say Elriel never existed because it did, but the reason SJM wrote it is not to lead them as endgame, but to add layers and tension to these characters. Firstly, Elriel for me was there to add some will-they-won’t-they to Elucien’s mating bond. Look, with no other couple did we have a mating bond snapped and proclaimed even before the two characters even spoke to each-other. This the first time we have this scenario, and things need to go one way for the tension to be there.
If Elain was just mourning Graysen (which relationship was ended in the same book Elucien gained traction) then it would have been too given that they would inevitably find their way to eachother. So she adds Azriel to the mix, who at that point had only ever been interested in Mor for 500 years, with absolutely zero possibility of her ever mirroring his interest. It just makes sense for his character to also find that fixation on Elain, another unattainable female. This was another way Azriel continued his self sabotage behavior, and so we had the first real stepping stone into what his character arc will be when he gets his book.
But we can agree Elriel started (to act as a red herring for Elucien, add character tension, give Az an arc), gained traction in Acofas, and when Sarah introduced us to Gwyn and had the realization she was perfect for Azriel, she had to close the Elriel thread. So here comes the BC.
As readers we needed to see with our own eyes why exactly these two characters weren’t good together, just like she did this with Tamlin in a more dramatic way before Feyre could see Rhys in a romantic way, Sarah gave us all the clues in the way Azriel thought about Elain hyper sexually, how he called their encounter a mistake, how he focused too much in her mating bond, even in ACOSF we got winks of him limiting Elain when she clearly wanted to help, because she should not be exposed to darkness. Then comes Rhys, asking Azriel the questions we as readers were asking him: what about Mor? No answer. Do you think you deserve Elain? Diverting the answer to say Lucien doesn’t (showing us his possible insecurity towards him). And then we have the Gwyn part, in which we see Azriel’s character actually shine, even if he still can’t see this is actually the way, not the doomed self sabotage relationship he was entertaining with Elain.
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The thing is it IS a set up for Elucien and Gwynriel:
Elucien: Lucien was there in the same house when the almost kiss happened, this is a calculated thing, the chapter could have happened a day after and it would have worked perfectly, but no, Lucien was there too. Something tells me Lucien knows what transpired, he probably could feel it, hear it, smell it or at least have some perception of it. And this just adds more angst to what Elain and him are going to go through.
Gwynriel: the obvious banter, exact opposite of Azriel’s and Elain’s interaction (for the better), and the hints of their potential mating bond.
To sum it up, Elriel was a thing before the bonus chapter, thats for sure, but Sarah needed to end it before she could continue, however small and insignificant their relationship actually was. And I don’t agree that this set up a love triangle between Elain/Az/Gwyn, when Azriel said “this was a mistake” Sarah ended any possibility of that, Elain gave him back the necklace she was at first eager to receive, Lucien was there and probably knows something happened, Azriel thought he had been right to stay away, and it ended with him thinking about Gwyn’s glowing eyes and smiling about her.
I hope this answers your question, I actually think the bonus chapter was masterfully written to tell us everything we need to know about what was actually happening inside Azriels head, and give us a hint of his future and the future of the other characters.
If she hadn’t written the first part, then we could’ve never gotten those rich pieces of information into Azriel’s trauma, red flags, jealousy and thought process that will play a part in his own book (because they’re far from resolved). By having both we could see how Elain brings up the worse in him, while Gwyn calms the restlessness inside of him instantly.
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danikamariewrites · 8 months
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do you mind doing another short reader! headcanons, but instead of the reader being with one of the bat boys, the reader is shipped with/mated to all three?
you don't have to do it if you don't want to!! especially if it's gonna be too similar to your previous headcanons. so feel free to ignore, my feelings won't be hurt 💜💜
also love the work you're doing so far!!
Poly!Bat Boys x short!reader headcanon
A/n: I’ve been dying to write poly!bat boys so thank you for requesting this and thank you, you’re so sweet. This low key kind of turned out to be poly!bat boys x reader haha but I liked where this ended up tbh
Warnings: none
Of course they all tower over you
You always have to look up at them
Sometimes you like to be taller than them especially when you fight so you stand on a chair or table
One time they were arguing so you stomped onto the table to make them stop
The three of them had to tilt their heads back to look at you, “Stop. This is stupid because all three of you are wrong.” And for once they listened
You liked the commanding feeling that came with your new trick. One time it backfired on you when you stood on a shorter coffee table to try and win a fight with Rhys
“Oh.” “Yeah, didn’t work out huh?” “No this was not my desired height.” After staring at each other for a few moments you burst out laughing and he picked you up and plopped you down on the floor, ruffling your hair
You feel very safe around them, they are your mates after all and they’d do anything to keep you safe
You like to try and spend equal time with each of them
But sometimes one will be busy, or away, or off being grumpy somewhere in the house
Sometimes one of the boys needs comfort more than the other
You love when one of the boys just picks you up, hugs you real tight, and you cuddle on the couch
Cassian gives the best hugs. You also love how he can just pick you up with one arm
Rhys is the best at being emotionally available with you. You can talk to him about anything and he gives the best advice especially when it comes to Cassian and Azriel
Azriel is the most attentive one. He knows everything about you and probably spends most of his time with you
Az is very touch/attention starved so you try to spend extra time with him. He’s probably the most over protective of you given that you’re short
He’s always the first to take you away from a situation that he thinks will end in a fight or wrap you in his wings
After a particularly bad meeting with the Autumn and Day courts you decided it was time that you learn how to fight
They seemed hesitant at first, especially Cassian since he’d be training you
“I won’t go easy on you doll. We need you to be able to protect yourself if we’re not there so it’s going to be tough.” “I can handle it Cass.” Cassian was afraid you wouldn’t spend time with him or want to be around him
Truthfully, you liked the commanding side of him. It was the total opposite of how he usually was with all of you and it was hot
Once you were proficient in hand-to-hand combat and at swinging a sword Cassian’s new nickname for you was “little badass”
The first time you went flying with one of them it was with Rhys. You had a fear of heights you wanted to get over since you always joked about how close to the ground you were
Flying back from Windhaven one day you were in Cassian’s arms
He and Devlon got into a nasty argument and he just wanted to hold you to remind himself that he wasn’t a brute and could handle something small and delicate (that’s just how he saw you bc of your shortness)
Halfway back he was muttering to himself under his breath. You wanted to ask him if he wanted to talk but his grip was slipping as he kept getting distracted
Before you knew it you had slipped from his arms and free falling
All you could do was scream
Cassian and Rhys dove for you but Azriel was closest and you reached for him
You didn’t have long limbs, you couldn’t reach and you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to grab Azriel’s arm but he grabbed you first
Azriel cradled you to his chest and you cling to him. Shaking with tears silently rolling down your cheeks
When you got home Rhys took Cassian to calm down in his room since he was freaking out
Azriel took you to your room giving you his hoodie and sweatpants and cuddling you
“This was always a fear of mine but I don’t blame Cassian.” You said more to reassure yourself. “I know baby, I know.”
Cassian had avoid one-one-one or group time, slept in his own room, and passed your training off to Azriel for a while
One night you got sick of him feeling sorry for himself you just dragged him to bed. You slept on his chest that night leaving Azriel and Rhys to sleep on the other side of the bed
Speaking of sleeping arrangements, after you were mated the four of you decided you wanted to sleep in the same bed. You still had your own rooms in case one of you needed space or wanted to be alone
You liked being in the middle of them since it was easier being the little spoon
Sometimes you’d be on the outside and the big spoon if you wanted to wrap yourself around one of the boys (they’re all side sleepers unless you’re cuddled up to them)
You steal something from each of them. Usually it’s Rhys’s hoodie, Cassian’s shirt, and Azriel’s sweatpants
If two are all of them are gone the bed feels too empty and you can’t sleep
You get the most time with Rhys since Az and Cass go away sometimes and that’s when you and Rhys switch to your bedroom but it still doesn’t feel the same. You both feel like pieces of you are missing
If your injured they freak out
It was your first time fighting alongside them and you decided to take on a soldier that was bigger than Cassian
Of course the male beat you up pretty bad but in the end you reached a dagger and got him right in the throat
As you got patched up by a healer in your tent Rhys, Cass, and Az come storming in
They we’re obviously told what happened but they wanted to hear it from you, and see you
They cringed when they saw your injuries
Telling them what happened Az sat next to you gently holding one of your bandaged hands, Rhys sat across from you in an armchair, and Cassian was pacing so hard you thought he was going to make a hole in the floor
Once you were done Cassian kneeled in front of you taking your free hand in his, “Please never do that again. I know your strong and skilled, but please, never ever do that again. We were terrified when we heard what happened.” You nod, a lump forming in your throat
Rhys comes to sit next to you and kisses your head, “We love you so much, darling.”
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stargirlie25 · 2 months
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something that I find interesting is that all acotar couples have some kind of slogan going on which resembles the connection between them.
Feysand: To the Stars who listen and to the dreams that are answered.
This obviously resembles how they are both dreamers and how feyre loved the stars her whole life.
Nessian: keep reaching out your hand.
This is cassian telling Nesta so long as she keeps reaching out her hand, she will find peace and that he is always on the other end to hold her
Now the controversial ones
Gwynriel: your the new ribbon az
This is when nesta told az he is gwyns new ribbon. As in, her new challenge. Something she plans to break free and uncover. Nes said that remember when gwyn was WITH the ribbon and now az is the new one. It could be the fact that while Az heals,She would be with him every step of the way kind of dynamic. We know rhys and cassian don't bother with az about himself but Gwyn could considering we figured out small details in th BC.
Elucien: I can hear you're heart.
As a elucien shipper I firmly believe once Elain opens up to lucien fully, he will Hear her heart. We see in velaris Cass finds elain to be out of place in the NC, az is prominent about staying away and avoiding her like a plague. Feyre said she prefers mo and amren and wouldn't Idealy go to elan for advice. Nesta is now closer to the valkyries. Then their is lucien. Silently waiting for her. Even if he ant hear her heart I believe they can hear each other like they understand the struggle of feeling left out. Like home is a person dynamic.
Jassa: vassa and jurian are two sides of the same coin
This is really just makes me giggle tbh. But like also, without much similarities I bet they'd understand each other so well and would probably be the couple with the most easy going nature.
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fieldofdaisiies · 1 year
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Hey Gorgeous Daisy! 🌼
Loving the headcanons, especially modern Az! I couldn't make my mind up between my two headcanons asks.
1. Batboys growing up - I love when we get all three boys together and how we have heard about some of their antics growing up, and I do hope we learn more, but what did they get up to after Windhaven, what havoc did they wreck upon Velaris and the rest of the Night Court?
2. Adult Modern Nyx - This headcanons ask is a bit left field but your modern Az got me thinking...??
Please don't feel you need to do both, or either if they don't speak to you. Hope you have had a lovely day. 💗💗
hiiiiiiii, oh I love both. here we go
batboys growing up headcanons
boy, did they get drunk many times, completely shit-faced toppling over each other on their way home from Rita's
"you stepped on my fucking foot, Az."
"you hit my fricking arm, Cass"
and Rhys throwing up over the bridge somewhere in the background
crushing on the same girl, sorry but I can so see them spotting one pretty girl and all deciding that they want to be her boyfriend
and they would make complete fools out of themselves
Rhys would try to make his charm work, saying the cringiest things
"your eyes are like the sun burning down on us, like flames, you know. fire."
Cass would be flexing his muscles, removing his shirt when she is around, just because
and Az, would steal shy glances at her, and then quickly look away, blushing bright red
also I think they would be quite competitive, who can fly the widest? the highest? for the longest?
wingspan measuring
"you are cheating, Cass."
"am no, just because mine is the biggest."
"isn't, now hold your wings still"
Azriel cackling in the background
that is probably for earlier but those three had terrible voice cracks when in puberty, this is a fact
of course they were playboys
and remember that line in acosf – they did it in one room
not their finest moment, but they were closer after this than ever before haha
Cass and Az annoying and distracting Rhys when he had to study for becoming a high lord
they would mock him constantly "look at the little geek, bent over his books the whole day."
"so cute, little high lord, Rhysie."
the two idiots would also playfully poke him with his sword until he has enough, slams his books shut and joins them
at the same time the would also help and support Rhys all the way
and many nights they would spend with him, bent over books
and obviously, they would help him control his powers
letting him take out his anger when everything gets to much on them, sparring with him until the early morning hours
modern adult! Nyx
that is such an interesting request tbh
he would be a little cocky
even in a modern world Rhys and Feyre would be like majors of big cities and quite influential and obviously that make young Nyx a little arrogant at times
but he has inherited his good heart from his parents, so sometimes he just needs a reminder to be humble and then he is grounded
Nyx would be the one who immediately wants a car and motorbike like Az when he is old enough
"look at how cool, uncle Az is!"
so this is what he will get for his eighteenth birthday
and Nyx speeds and Feyre is worried as hell, Rhys as well
but he is also careful
he becomes a social media influencer, yes, posting about art and clothing
family before everything – even when no longer living with his parents he would still spend time with them most days of the week
a very close relationship with his whole family
having a hard time finding a girlfriend, because who really loves him and who just wants him for fame and attention
going to sports games with Cass, watching basketball or hockey
painting and drawing a lot in his free time, hoping to one day be able to sell his art
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bookofmirth · 1 year
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I was wondering if you would be willing to take on an analysis of Cassian and Nesta’s relationship. I’m a sucker for romance and when I first read acosf I was so excited and happy for all the nessian although there were parts I felt so angry with Cassian because I felt were extremely unnecessary, like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration, telling her he’s shackled and not getting a decent reconciliation, to name a few. I feel like the story has this imbalance between the two characters because everyone already sees Cassian as this funny, mistreated by society, handsome huge cuddle bear in Feyre’s pov and we see Nesta as this unnecessary asshole in her pov. That, paired with Nesta’s self loathing, is why I can see why some readers are led to believe Nesta is awful to Cassian and might even go as far as agree that she needs to be worthy of him (which is why I have feelings about Mor who is an NC leader and one of her job titles is to help abused women but that’s another topic) then to read it explicitly in Nesta’s pov at the ending of acosf is what made me abandon the ship almost completely. which is a problem because we’ve agreed in previous posts just as Nesta’s pov is subjective by that same logic so is Feyre’s.
I loved reading your thoughts about Nesta and her father since that also didn’t make sense to me. I always figured Nesta’s trauma stemmed from the matriarchal side of her family and it’s helping me come to a certain understanding. I was just hoping maybe your perspective might give nessian a fresh angle I’m missing.
Hello! I will do my best. I assume we probably won't agree 100% but I am very much in the mood to lend some nuance to Nesta's character since the fandom is either intensely anti her or pro her, and both stances distort her character (and tbh some of the takes I've seen COMPLETELY missed the point of her entire character and of acosf, not to mention they are super vitriolic and antagonistic towards other people in the fandom. Calm the fuck down, y'all. No you op, just... the fandom.)
I take nessian as being a very different type of ship than any of sjm's others. Her other ships have tension that usually stops short of cruelty, but nessian are very aggressive as a couple and that energy turns antagonistic sometimes. Their dynamic is what made sjm make them mates, because Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and Cassian is not only strong enough to be with her and give it back, but he doesn't turn away from her either, when so many people in her life have stopped trying (Amren, Elain, Feyre to an extent).
I put the rest of this under the cut because it got very long!
Honestly, it confuses me when people get mad at Cassian for being mean to Nesta because that street goes both ways. They both say horrible things to each other that they know will wound, though Nesta does it first and more often. She calls him a brute and a bastard, when we know that that's one of his major insecurities. And this starts in Wings and Embers!
Her brows flattened. “Leader of the High Lord’s armies, and yet the brute remains. You cannot cow me with words, so you seek to intimidate me through your hulking size.”
Rhys, Az, and Cassian all call each other bastards on occasion but with them it's Bastard (affectionate). When Nesta calls Cassian a bastard/brute, she does it à la Beron and Eris. I honestly can't include all the times that she insults him that way. He lets it go at first, but then we know that, in his POV, this is actually an insult that gets under his skin and something he thinks about himself - much in the same way that Nesta thinks negative things about herself:
They were all staring. Cassian rolled his tensed shoulders, stretching out his wings. He’d revealed too much. Like a stupid brute, he’d let them all see too much, learn too much.
And someone else who uses that against him is Eris:
Cassian clenched his jaw. “So you’re to be my ally whether I wish it or not?” “The brute understands at last.” Cassian ignored the barb.
“It’s the ugliness of his fucking soul that riles me. I don’t care if he calls me a mongrel bastard.” Eris had called him such things today, she realized. Rage rippled through her. “It’s just that, ally or not, I hate him. He’s so slick and unruffled and … I can’t stand him.” He set down his fork and stared toward the window behind her. “Eris and his twisted word games and politics are an enemy I don’t know how to handle. Every time I meet with him, I feel like he’s got the upper hand. Like I can only catch up to him, and he sees through my every fumbling attempt at being clever. Maybe that makes me a stupid brute after all.”
And it's ironic to me that Nesta gets angry at how Eris insulted Cassian in that way, because she has done the exact same thing. So she knows that her blows are landing. In fact, that's why she does it. Nesta has identified a weakness and exploits it in order to push Cassian away, so I'm not surprised that it worked and he snaps. That's the reaction she's going for and that's the kind of behavior she needs to change because she's constantly pushing people away and then getting angry/sad when they leave.
The reason that I am emphasizing the things that Nesta has done here is not to say any of this is her fault, but that they both dish it out, and if we read the whole scenes, it usually starts with Nesta because that's just where she's at in her life right now. I dislike the arguments that because Cassian is older, he should know better or whatever, because 1) Nesta is an adult, and 2) as an Elder Millennial lol I know that age doesn't mean anything when it comes to maturity. In fact, I've lost my fucks with increasing frequency over the past few years. I know 20 year olds who are more mature than 40 year olds. It's just not that simple!
To go back to my initial point about their relationship, I think that even once the intention to harm is gone, now that some reconciliation has happened and they accept the mating bond, they will continue to be that aggressive couple. Feysand are leaders, nessian are warriors, and in the future I see elucien as co-conspirators and gwynriel as competitors. Nesta and Cassian both fight for what they care about, in the literal fighting sense, so it seems natural that that bleeds into their relationship a bit when they are still butting heads and trying to figure out how they work.
There are a couple of things you pointed out that I've noticed other people mention, so I wanted to discuss them!
like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration
I personally don't have an issue with the hike as a whole (I have another ask where I'll touch on it), but I did read this thing where Nesta passed out from dehydration as being both of their faults. Cassian just isn't paying attention, he forgets that Nesta isn't a hundreds of years old Illyrian tough guy and she *had barely gotten to the bottom of the stairs at the HoW (edit because I forgot she did that just before these shenanigans). Nesta is a grown adult, he's not her babysitter, she could have said something but instead she just suffered. (I wonder if that was also in line with her self-destructive behavior in acofas?) They're basically both being dumb here.
telling her he’s shackled
While he is doing this to hurt Nesta in that scene, all of the acotar mates thus far have said that about their mate. Lucien said it about Elain and Rhys about Feyre, though theirs were in more self-deprecating ways. To me, it just goes back to the push and pull that Nesta and Cassian have. I think the conflict in that scene is that they are essentially talking about two different things - for Cassian, Nesta rejecting the mating bond is her rejecting him. But for Nesta, the mating bond has nothing to do with Cassian and everything to do with her lost humanity. Cassian is taking her reaction personally (and why wouldn't he, when she has spent so much time picking at his insecurities?) and she is thinking of how the Cauldron and being Made affected her (and why wouldn't she, when she is still grappling with her trauma?) They are basically both thinking of themselves! And not considering how the other one feels.
and not getting a decent reconciliation
I think *fingers crossed* that we will see them in a much better place in future books. SJM said that Nesta's story will continue, so I'm just going to be optimistic here. Since the narration won't follow either of their perspectives anymore (we assume) we probably won't get an in-depth exploration of it. In fact, I was surprised when I got towards the end of acosf that I only had 30 more pages because I knew that so much still needed to happen. The end was very rushed but that's a whole different issue 😂
I am curious what you think of them after this! They aren't my favorite acotar ship; that's reserved for feysand and elucien, at least in canon. But I really love Cassian's character for his combination of strength and vulnerability, and Nesta is probably the most complex and interesting thus far, so I enjoy them from that standpoint.
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azsazz · 4 months
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okay, replying to the long anon message this way so i can put it under the cut for spoilers :)
if it wasn't for fanfics of acotar i would have dropped it in acowar tbh, there were too many inconsistencies with the plot and characters and so many things that happened so the story moved forward but had no reason to happen, like it was out of nowhere and she prioritized romance over plot more and more each book and then prioritized smut in acosf over her own characters. i know ppl like that book but that was a shit characterization of nesta and cass and everyone that showed up almost and what for? to have a bunch of smut scenes that didn't actual help anything with nesta's development or the plot (i think it didnt even help with them getting together bc i would have prefered they actually started getting closer organically and then the tension starting after that) and she actually had a good idea with the valkyries but then the blood rite kinda cheapened it in my opinion bc they literally won with the power of friendship when sjm could have just skipped more time ahead (since they're immortal) and then when the 3 of them were realistically ready they could have won, and since the 3 bat boys winning was such an important thing i think if she really had to have that parallel than she could have wrote it better
i absolutely agree with this. and there's amazing examples of fantasy books where the smut hasn't ruined the plot and it's flow is great. but like, she's just cranking these books out with little thought i swear. and she can brag that she wrote cc3 in whatever like 6 weeks or some shit and then scrapped the whole thing. but like? sounds like a rush job to me? and how does she keep up with all these fucking characters because i can't. cc3 will make me lose my mind i swear. cass/ness had so much potential tbh i was here for it but acosf was a complete whirlwind of fuckery. and i get that it was no longer feyres pov or whatever but what the hell, that's not my cassian.
im glad you mentioned the bryce and az chapter bc i havent read that series and i dont want to but sjm is crossing them over to get people to read it (which makes me want to read it even less lol) and its just one more storyline she probably can't keep up with. like it's crazy how we still don't know so much about the acotar world or the characters, even rhys we still don't know how far his powers go or so much about his backstory and why? bc sjm doesn't care about building a character, i know it's a romance book but you can't just ignore every other aspect of the book
literally the only reason i read it was for the crossover. it was one of the worst books ive ever read and long as fuck too. did not need to be that long. i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in it to be honest besides the fact that literally every man bryce came across had to make sure to mention how beautiful she is. fuck off with that shit fr.
also! this one is kinda me being picky maybe but the jokes about feyre having canned food in this setting with no other modern stuff is actually bad world building imo, i mean there were no signs of industry in the book and then a can of soup shows up out of nowhere? before other more basic stuff than would have to have shown up already? idk what that was about. that and the leggings, im not saying it's not possible for them to be there but to this day my mom calls them tights bc that's what they were called until a few years ago so seeing the word in the fantasy setting sjm had set up literally pulled me out of the book
OMG you're so right i never thought much of the soup can but you're so rightttt im actually dying that's so funny. yeah, leggings was stupid as fuck too, you're telling me they have synthetic stretchy fabric? be so fr rn
maybe im in a mood today too lol but i really just much prefer fanfiction over the books, in fact i only finished them bc since i was getting spoilers from fics and thought i might as well read them
i feel this so hard 💙
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tadpolesonalgae · 5 months
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i like that we finally got to see reader with the ic but it always leaves me feeling even worse for her because they are overlooking her like crazy. i like that nesta came back to invite her to day court with her but the fact that eris knew about the trip before she did? i get that she doesn't really ask or care much for what they do (i think it's more she doesn't think she deserves to know which is even worse) but i mean at this point it's safe to say she barely knows what's happening with her family and even if she likes to isolate herself and all that it's not a good thing. i like the way she was thinking during the dinner because i have that problem too even with family so it really felt realistic but im sorry to go in on the ic again but mor was the only one who tried getting her to talk and mor is also one of the ones that isn't really related to her. it's also a bit weird that rhys doesn't really try talking with her because one thing about rhysand he likes the sound of his own voice, also cass especially when nesta was talking to her, cass is the friendliest one so even him kinda ignoring her is a bit.. all i'm getting is they don't trust her, whether because they don't think much of her or think she'd fuck things up or even they just genuinely don't.
and i mean the part with eris was nice but it just shows even more how out of it she is at home and doesn't really leave any indication that she should stay there. like she was dreading being with her family but she was excited to speak to the dude she barely knows and is kind of an asshole and that part "I don’t get to spend my days simply lying around to pester the only person who’ll give me a scrap of attention." like he's right and it sucks tbh. her family really doesn't give her any attention. and even how he already has her figured out by a couple interactions and no one in the ic even knows shit about her like i get that eris is very observant but so is literally everyone else in the ic and you can kinda see az starting to observe her and try to figure her out (he was observing her way too closely like i love him dearly but i know for a fact mr spymaster over there can be less obvious to the point she has to tell him to stop staring and he doesnt). idk i just wish the ic didn't treat her like a child that can feed herself so they don't even have to check on. and as mean as eris was being he's right so many times like this part "It’s a little embarrassing that you don’t already know. What are they teaching you over there? How to be an emotional burden?" too like it was so mean but it's true, they're not teaching her literally anything and it is embarrassing to watch like i just want her to speak up for herself. i get that she doesn't want to be like nesta probably because she was on the end of her sharp words way too often but it's so frustrating seeing her hide herself like that and i refuse to believe no one in the ic noticed she's holding back, unless they're really not even giving her a single thought or maybe they don't care enough to try to get her out, i dont know which one is worse
also this is still before the 2 weeks were up i'm guessing? so they still don't know about her powers? that's probably going to be a shitshow but i can't wait for her to stop trying to do everything herself at the risk of her own health and mental stability at this point. i'm also guessing after that she won't get overlooked as much because they could see her being useful but then it would leave a bitter taste to see them only care about her after thinking she could help them instead of being because they genuinely care about her, which i can't really see from that many people here i'm sorry, elain and her are the only ones who actually look like they like each other, feyre and even nesta just look kinda tentative (is that a word) with her like they don't want anything bad for her but as long as she's breathing and healthy i guess they don't look like they care and the rest of the ic probably can't even tell if she's there on most days or not, shoutout to mor for trying again though. really can't wait for her to stop pretending and just let her emotions out and tell them she's been feeling like a burden and it's their fault for not giving a fuck about her. i hope she gets her little trip with eris too because 2 weeks with eris and she'd get her claws all the way out but idk how she would manage to go to autumn in a peaceful way like as much as i'm going in on the ic, i still want them to fix things with her because like i said before if the endgame here is her getting together with azriel and staying in the night court a lot of things have to change and it's not just with azriel
is this going to be a really long series? because since it's chapter 8 and reader still honestly hasn't had much of a development i'm guessing it's going to be long right? i mean i kinda hope so because the more the better lol
also i'm glad mor is taking her shopping because the white cotton nightgown that goes down to her ankles told me everything i needed to know about her style and i'm glad she's getting an upgrade
i feel like this was mostly me rambling about the ic but it's really frustrating to watch her making herself look dull like eris said and pretend everything is always okay so she's not a burden but it's also frustrating that no one even cares enough to realize that she's quite literally a mess mentally or pretend they don't see it - 🧶
‘i get that she doesn't really ask or care much for what they do (i think it's more she doesn't think she deserves to know which is even worse)’
We love a low self-esteem girlie 🫶
But yeah, arguably part of the whole problem links back to her not wanting to bother anyone, so it comes across as blatant disinterest which perpetuates the issue :/
‘i like the way she was thinking during the dinner because i have that problem too even with family’
On a separate note, I’m so glad you have this problem too (that sounds so mean 😭, I’m glad it’s not an isolated issue) because it’s honestly so bizarre? Like all you need to do is say something like “hey, would you mind passing the [Dish X], thanks!” And you’re basically golden but it’s so difficult for absolutely no reason.
Anyway reader has that fun little struggle too, which someone’s taking a notice of🍜
‘it's also a bit weird that rhys doesn't really try talking with her because one thing about rhysand he likes the sound of his own voice,’
😭😭😭 Poor Rhys
I think that point (as well as the Cassian one) is more an insufficiency on my part—I just didn’t want to write a conversation involving the whole table one, because I couldn’t think of a way to make it seem organic and two, I think reader would have genuinely had a mental breakdown right then and there if she had to be involved in a full-scale conversation 😭 (kinda funny, kinda not but oh well)
‘all i'm getting is they don't trust her, whether because they don't think much of her or think she'd fuck things up or even they just genuinely don't.’
So, I’ve already started on Part 9 (since there was something near a whole month between part 7 and 8, oops and sorry) and a while ago someone suggested writing something from Azriel’s pov so at least his actions might be understandable? Also since reader’s perspective on things is slightly skewed by her poor perception of herself 😬
Anyway, hopefully in Part 9 you’re going to get to see things from the IC’s view point which might clear somethings up and make it more believable? Idk, I like having some of the confusion of not knowing what’s going on but I suppose after a certain point it might become a little deus ex machina? I like miscommunication but I think it would be a bit of a stretch to put everything on “hey they didn’t know”, so I’m going to begin sorting that out :)
‘and is kind of an asshole and that part "I don’t get to spend my days simply lying around to pester the only person who’ll give me a scrap of attention." like he's right and it sucks tbh’
I think part of the appeal of Eris for reader is that while what he says is sometimes hurtful, he does treat her like an adult and doesn’t really pull his punches at all? 😭
But then obviously there are moments like in part 8 where he strikes a raw nerve which triggers a bit of overthinking (only a bit)
‘(he was observing her way too closely like i love him dearly but i know for a fact mr spymaster over there can be less obvious to the point she has to tell him to stop staring and he doesnt)’
I’m going to expand on this part later (maybe in Part 9 if I get the plot together) but he was connecting some dots in that moment (bless him 🫂)
‘like i just want her to speak up for herself.’
Personally kinda scared for that moment but you do you—I’m sure she’ll manage to express herself in a totally calm and concise manner 😌
‘also this is still before the 2 weeks were up i'm guessing? so they still don't know about her powers? that's probably going to be a shitshow’
Yeah I realised I didn’t put that in at all, but part 9 is set about a week after that initial agreement is settled on, so halfway to the end!
‘i'm also guessing after that she won't get overlooked as much’
Something along those lines… 👀
I mean, it would be a bit bizarre if they ignored that mess?
‘is this going to be a really long series? because since it's chapter 8 and reader still honestly hasn't had much of a development i'm guessing it's going to be long right?’
I’m awful at guess series length but I’d say we’re coming up to the halfway point? Maybe another three or four chapters then we’ll be halfway through? There’s still a lot of stuff to happen and a lot to be resolved, so yeah, it’s going to be a while—hope that’s okay 🧡💛
‘also i'm glad mor is taking her shopping because the white cotton nightgown that goes down to her ankles told me everything i needed to know about her style and i'm glad she's getting an upgrade’
Yeah, Erie was completed right when he made the comment about readers fashion sense—there’s a lot to be desired 😭
Also, the shopping trip might happen in part 9 but I don’t yet know if it will fit in so we’ll see what happens and where it goes :)
Hopefully Mor will work some of her magic with reader and get her to be a little more comfortable around Velaris :)
‘i feel like this was mostly me rambling about the ic’
I think your little rambles are one of the things I’ve missed most about updating CBMTHY 😭
It’s so enjoyable reading through these and it also helps me know what needs to be mentioned in future chapters 🧡💛🫂
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lalacliffthorne · 6 months
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Question about roommate!universe: are Rhys and Feyre / Cassian and Nesta a thing or are our bat boys also pining??? (I had a daydream Cassian was asking reader about "what nesta's deal was"/wanting to know if she was single)
hi babes! lol I feel honored you're (day-)dreaming about all of this. 💕
the boys definitely meet Feyre only after reader becomes their roommate, so there aren't any relationships yet. I'm probably gonna change that at some point of the timeline, bc Feyre is reader's best friend and so she's gonna end up having more contact with the boys as well, so there'll definitely be some lil appearences of her and Rhys. *wiggly brows*
tbh, bc my focus is on the platonic relationship between reader and the boys/later a romantic one with Az, I haven't given any other relationships that much thought up until now lol 🙈 but if they do exist at some point, they'll be likely dropped as lil easter eggs here and there or like lil guest appearences. 😌💞
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redbleedingrose · 1 year
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What’s your thoughts on Elain? 👀
OMG I think I could go on for hours tbh!!! This is such an interesting topic for me because I get such strong feelings and I am not sure why!!!! This is gonna be a whole essay, so you totally do not need to read all of this! 
I honestly do not like Elain! I don’t like her character, I DONT like her and Az together. and I do NOT like the way she treats Lucien. I have talked to my friends about this and I just cannot get over the fact that everyone in the IC treats Elain like a flower. She was def traumatized, but I feel like a lot of the IC (Rhys) shifts blame onto Nesta about how Feyre needed to hunt for their family. Elain didn’t do much to help Feyre, and from what I remember, was extremely close with Nesta before being introduced to the IC. I don’t think she was held accountable like she should have been.
I also think she lacks any character tbh, there is just not enough about her besides she likes gardening and is a see’er (or however you spell it) 
AND, I absolutely HATE that she treats Lucien like SHIT and then puts Azriel on a pedestal. I feel like Lucien has been through so much and I just feel so bad for him, like my heart aches. 
THE EXTRA CHAPTER FROM ACOSF HAD ME FUCKING SICK!!!! I FRL WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH!!! OMG AND I THINK THE SOLSTICE SCENE IN ACOSF HAD ME SICK TOO!!!!! Frl she just brushed Lucien off so easily, BUT THEN in the extra chapter, was thirsting after Azriel so hard. Especially when Lucien was upstairs sleeping or probably upset about Elain rejecting his gift like last solstice!!!
I read this one fanfic that was Lucien speaking to Elain and he goes, “You didn’t even give me the chance,” and idk who wrote it, but I totally agree. 
Maybe I say this out of jealousy, but I truly do not like Elain and Az together. I think Elucien should be endgame, and I think if SJM gave them the chance, they could be really really good together. I personally think that Az and Gwyn are meant to be. 
Anyway, sorry for this essay!!! But I love talking about this and you totally do not need to read this whole thing. Also if you don’t agree with me, that is totally okay!!!! I am just a jealous hoe who wants Az for myself!!!! 
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acourtofthought · 1 year
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I feel like SJM missed an opportunity by not making Az’s mate an illyrian (if his mate is Gwyn). Or at least half illyrian. Not Emerie since their personalities just wouldn’t mesh well together. We really could have gotten deep into the conflict + have a pro-illyrian pov. Because Az is pretty much avoiding all illyrians and I feel like having an illyrian mate (who doesn’t hate that she’s illyrian) would make Az want to get involved.
Tbh the whole illyrian situation pisses me off. Rhys and Cass have “hopes” for their people but don’t see the issue that for centuries said people have been fighting and dying to protect Velaris - a city they didn’t even know existed and can’t set a foot in. And let’s face it… I love Rhys, but he’s protecting Velaris, not the Night Court. The whole idea of him being High King is ridiculous - he’s literally the only High Lord whose court is divided in three and he only gives a fuck about one third of it.
Maybe I’m biased but the only character I can see as a potential High King is Lucien. Especially since his mate is Elain. They’re both strong and will probably grow in power (love your theory about Elain having goddess-like powers btw!!) but they’re much more compassionate than Feysand.
I think you made a lot of excellent points.
It definitely looks as if SJM has made Gwyn and Az very compatible, but I think it would have been meaningful if she had been Illyrian. I appreciate that SJM writes diversity in her main pairings (mating canonically white characters with those that are POC) rather than making both characters of the same race but in Az's case, I think him falling for an Illyrian would have made a lot of sense and it would be nice to have two POC main characters ending up together.
I love that though Lucien originally had prejudices against humans, he ended up living in the Human Lands with human friends which will make him more sensitive to why Elain struggled so much with the loss of her humanity. We've witnessed those prejudices disappear in the way he speaks about Jurian and Vassa.
Az has very strong (negative) emotions about the Illyrians regardless of the fact that his best friend is Illyrian (and the other is half Illyrian). Obviously that's not been enough to change his mentality. But falling for a female who felt a true connection to their culture (I imagine there has to be some female who appreciates it while also acknowledging that changes need to be made) would force him to see things in a way that being mated to a non-Illyrian never will. Even if he makes his peace with the Illyrians, he can always keep one foot in / one foot out with them.
And I do think Rhys would not make sense as High King. It's not that he wouldn't be capable because he actually would. But it's going to take more than a couple of years of Rhys taking off his mask for everyone to believe he is who he says he is. There would still be too many suspicions surrounding him and his court for others to feel comfortable following him.
But Lucien.....
I have no doubt Day would follow him, especially after he and Helion learn of what they are to one another. Spring for sure, especially if Elain has any say in it after her book. Rhys doesn't want the position and Lucien has repeatedly shown he's trustworthy. I think Eris would be a bid in to support Lucien. Not only does he seem to want to make amends over the past but he grew up with Lucien and is aware of how intelligent he is. That leaves Winter, Dawn, and Summer. We don't know what they think of Lucien but we do know he has contacts in all courts and I really don't know of anyone outside Beron (and the sons) and maybe Az who has any real issue with Lucien. Not to mention Lucien will now have strong connections to the Human Lands through Queen Vassa and maaayyyyybe someday King Jurian. He's a fighter when necessary but spent his youth learning the ways of not only his court but others through the friendships he'd made.
If SJM goes the High King route, there really is no other character who is canonically more in a position than Lucien. And if he and Elain end up together, I don't think her ability to "convince people to do anything with a few smiles" is going to hurt the publics perception of the duo.
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writingsbychlo · 1 year
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I’m the same anon that sent in the whole Mor & Elriel ask. Thank you for answering! I definitely feel like Azriel purposely sets himself up, because of how unworthy he thinks he is and that he doesn’t deserve love. I know there are some who say Mor and Azriel are mates and since she likes females he thinks it was a mistake to have them as mates, which is why he asks Rhys if the cauldron made a mistake with Elain and Lucien. I really like Elain, but I really don’t like the idea of her and Azriel. I don’t like the three sisters and three brothers. It irks me tbh. I like the idea of Elain and Lucien taking down Koschei + helping Vassa with her curse. Lucien could give Elain so much. Take her traveling, give her freedom. They would be beautiful together. I feel like the next book in the ACOTAR series will probably be Azriel and I hope we get to see into more of his childhood, trauma, his hate for his own kind and maybe the Valkyrie’s will play a role since the participated in the blood rite. Thank you for taking the time to respond! I’m looking forward to Under The Mistletoe!❤️
SORRY!! I only just saw this it got buried under some other asks 😅 but yes, I am rooting for Elucien too! I think the next book will be elain’s story, so we’re likely to get some form of elain & az content in it but hopefully it’s just not a lot, because it actually makes me uncomfortable to read, lol. I want elain to have an exciting book, I really do, I don’t want it to be all about ‘az or lucien?’. she has her powers to develop, as you say she could help vassa, she deserves an adventure and an equally exciting storyline as nesta and feyre got and i hope she gets it.
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autumnshighlady · 6 months
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ugh ialtpwf is so fucking good omg, can't wait to read more!!!! neris is a combination i love, and it's regretful that it isn't approached more, i didn't like the ic either, but man truly hate the ic now, because the way you've described them does hold up realistically. they were so fucking horrible in a way that's like barely addressed, and not to be a bitch but feyre just isn't a equal in the story? she's constantly used the way rhys want to, and it's kind of disgusting. cass and az def seem like misguided supporters of rhys, hopefully they realize their wrongdoings?? maybe kill rhys and lead the court themselves or something?? really want a reader-azriel relationship too tbh, not necessarily a romantic/sexual one, like a mentor-mentee/good friends. feel like reader will be sympathetic towards him and i want them to like be friends??? idm if that isn't the case, though, love your writing the way it is. i think az and nes have a good-ish relationship in acosf so that wld be interesting too,,,, and we all know about azris, cmon hot!. idk. now i'm thinking of eris x nesta x reader x azriel which uh. damn. hot. i want sjm to go thru that same approach you did but i do unfortunately think that she likes the ic the way they are and will probably give eris a true insight into his tragic lifestory, change him and pretend like everything's just fine, with a hint of disdain towards him or something, like lucien lol. can't wait to see eris-nesta-reader interactions, love the interactions they have alr, but together. ugh i can't wait to read them flirting and comforting each other, and the smut lol. anyway i love your fics, can't believe it took me this long to get around to reading it, truly did not dissapoint. sorry about the hate comments you apparently get for no reason? like the fics you write aren't even extreme lmao, sorry about the thing w guys my age. anyway hope you're having a good day!! and agood week! and a good month. byee!!! sorry for this being long hsoikfzjslifdg
i just saw this after a gruelling 13 hour shift and oh my god:.. honey…. my heart is swelling right now at this message PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG MESSAGE I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW I LOVE LONG MESSAGES LIKE THIS! i love getting asks but most of them are requests which is a bit boring ngl i love talking with you guys and hearing your thoughts and opinions. the fact you read my massive ass fic and took the time to write all this means more to me than i know how to express in the english language.
and yeah feyre doesn’t have much autonomy in my story. the reason for this is while i don’t like her a whole lot, i feel like lots of her actions and behaviour in the books is the consequence of being so influenced by rhys and the bond. therefore i didn’t really want to make her the “villain” so she kinda just… doesn’t do anything. my main beef is w rhys, not her.
you’ll definitely see more of reader and Az as well as nesta and Az because i agree i did like nesta and Az in ACOSF. you’ve given me ideas with adding azriel into the neris/reader mix…. hehe
you’ll see much more of the reader and eris. i have so much planned out for them and Nesta, and it’ll be a rollercoaster! i promise you will love what i’ve got planned <3 this fic has endless possibilities and tbh i don’t think it’ll ever truly be finished.
again, thank you for this message. i cried with happiness when i read it
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highqueenmorrigan · 2 years
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Sarah wants to write a bond rejection she said, maybe eris will be mor’s mate and they’ll reject eachother instead of lucien and elain? And do you think Elain and Az will have Forbidden romance trope and fool around? Their book is about to have so much romantic drama….if lucien or gwyn finds out. I’m excited for it all 😂
Hmmm while I do want to see a bond rejection, I'm very not on board with Eris and Mor being mates 😂 I get it, they're both probably queer and they've got their history, but I just hope sjm would do better for Mor than have her mate be a man, much less...Eris 🥴. Personally, I wonder if Elain or Lucien will reject the bond but they'll still get together! Idk how that works, or if you can accept a bond that's been rejected, but then it would be the best of both worlds!
I don't really see a forbidden romance happening for Elain and Azriel just because there's no stakes. I wouldn't be opposed to them kissing or sleeping together and then realizing it won't work, but tbh I don't think there's enough time in the book. I feel like the bonus chapter set up the possibility for Gwyn and Azriel and lowered the possibility for Elain and Azriel nicely. Rhys told Azriel to stay away from Elain, and he did, and Elain returned the necklace🤷🏻‍♀️ they're definitely not in love already so it seems like their little attraction could have plausibly been left in the past.
I'm just ready for Sarah to announce the next mc at this point, I'm so excited for the wildness that's about to ensue
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thelov3lybookworm · 6 months
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I know this is like really really random but you're the only skz acotar fan I know and I have to tell someone. So. SKZ HYUNG LINES SOOOO BAT BOYS CODED?? Minho is lichrally azriel in a shorter body and chan is rhys and changbin is cass (but I also feel like jisung could be cass and binnie could be az? Idk)
And hyunjin is mor, lix is elain. Tbh idk who Seungmin and jeongin would be
Omg loool that made me laugh soo much 😂
I love you soo much anon 🥹❣️
Now that you've said it, they really are like the acotar males 💀
Minho is azriel for sure and no one can convince me otherwise 😌
Chan being rhys is so accurate as well as binnie being cassian. Jisung could be cassian too, he's just so babygurl 🤔(also because i wanna wrap the both of them in a blanket and keep them in my basement and feed them soup)
Changbin could also be Nesta because of the feisty nature and random outbursts. Or maybe minho could be Nesta because both pretend not to care.
Changbin also fits amren perfectly (especially because of the height, but don't tell him that 🤫)
I feel like hyunjin could also be feyre, what with his painting skills and jeongin could be mor because of his fashion sense.
And lix and elain both bake stuff, so that fits.
And seungmin would be that annoying ex of azriel 😂
Felix could also be the secret child of minho(azzie) and seungmin(annoying ex). Probably one azzie doesn't know about👀
I also think that if we look at the characters out of the inner circle, chan could also be Helion. Lix would be tarquin, and minho could be Eris.
So, in conclusion, who I think skz fit the most in acotar world:
Chan – Rhys, Helion
Minho – Azriel, Nesta, Eris
Changbin – Cassian, Amren 😂
Hyunjin – Feyre, lucien(just a lil bit)
Han – Cassian
Felix – Elain, Tarquin
Seungmin – azzies ex, one of the nicer vanserra brothers, Lucien
Jeongin – Mor, Nyx (mostly because both are babies)
(I'll add more to it if I remember any more characters)
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bookofmirth · 2 years
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lele!
I saw the ask you answered a few days back about Feysand and Elriel being real similar, and so I was wondering if you see gwynriel as having the same problem at all? Mostly in terms of aesthetics, considering both seem to have a similar light/dark aesthetic
Hello! Sorry this response is probably a mess 🤣
(Here is the post we are talking about, for anyone reading this hehe)
So re: the light/dark aesthetic, I agreed with the previous anon that the feysand and e*riel stories would be too similar, based on what people suppose the one story would look like. But, I don't think the aesthetic is in reality similar. IMO it's just that people are taking a lot of creative liberties with Elain's character, given that we have never had her POV and we arguably know less about her than many other characters.
Regarding the art, we just honestly don't know enough about Elain to set her apart from the other sisters, visually. In that post I mentioned facial expressions, body language, clothing, objects, scenery or context. When I see art of Feyre or Nesta, I know it's art of them because I recognize Nesta's facial expression as representing the way that Nesta looks at the world, or Feyre's creativity, or the way Feyre embraces the dark. This is why I detest the whole "flower" thing with Elain. It's a crutch until we learn more about her personality. There's a reason that "flowers" are nowhere to be seen on the prompt list for elucien week 😂
So yeah anyway, I think that Feyre painting the night sky on her dresser drawer and thinking about different types of darkness, and feeling much more comfortable in the NC than in Spring lean more towards her not really "having" the light aesthetic. She's been killing to survive since she was 14, and Rhys says she is a huntress, his salvation.
Elain isn't "light" either; she needs light, she isn't light personified though. That would be her mate. The similarities, to me, are all about the plot for e*riel being too similar to what feysand have already had. Like anon pointed out the Hades/Persephone thing that... already belongs to feysand. The anon also said this, which yeah I see it too: "Elain does the same job as Azriel. Azriel saves her from the "abuser" Lucien and Azriel will let her choose, she finds her voice, and then Elain finds out Azriel is her actual mate, etc…" which would lead to their interactions being similar.
Okay but you asked about gwynriel asldjaklsjdakd
I think that gwynriel are more dark/light aesthetic than either feysand or e*riel, especially if it ends up being a shadowsinger/lightsinger thing (*finger guns* iykyk). I think that gwynriel would also be a very different relationship from feysand, or nessian, or elucien, because there is more emphasis on there being mutual healing, but where the guy needs a wake-up call. Rhys had trauma, Cassian had insecurities, but Az needs to go on a whole journey where he heals and reconciles with his past and his feelings towards his family. (NOT that he has to say a word to anyone who abused him, but I can see people willfully misinterpreting this anyway so why am I bothering. For my stalkers, I suppose. Hey besties!)
Feyre is pragmatic and cautious. Rhys is also pragmatic and can be cautious because his actions have implications for his whole court. They are both self-sacrificial and have served as the heads of their respective households before they were ready to do so.
Az has an intense sense of responsibility (indebtedness, even) coupled with a need for control and tbh love. Imo he also has a fascination with people who are very unlike him - see: The Morrigan. Gwyn is plucky, optimistic, curious, and determined. If you want a light/dark or grumpy/sunshine aesthetic, it's gwynriel. But either way, their plot/journey looks very different from any of the three canon ships, in addition to having an "aesthetic" that doesn't match the others. (elucien = mates = canon in sjm world)
To finish this rambly ramble up, I basically wouldn't hang my hat on a coatrack made of aesthetics. There are a lot more things that make a fictional ship appealing to readers (and more likely in canon), and aesthetics are just one piece of a complex puzzle!
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