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Thought I’d share my little vid of some of the work on Tyler’s portrait. Of course, quality is kind crap on here -major irritated eye twitch going on- but anyway. I still think this has been one of my most enjoyable portraits I’ve ever done! (I mean Hoechs gorgeous!)

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Yeah, it’s been a while without your face

But I saw your picture on the wall the other day

Too much distance, too much space

You need to come back home and run along, yeah

This song hits the feelings so damn hard

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Prime? Hang on a second. Angus in its own right is fantastic meat. I think it’s good steak. I wouldn’t like that in my mind as much as someone who cooks it a lot. I’m only 18 years old or so. I just like to eat it. I like the fact that it’s a good quality, a really interesting flavour.

On a very, really positive front, I’ve never seen a lot of meat or meat items made with pork.

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i never knew that Self Doubt was was going to be such a problem but now I know that it will ruin everything i will ever made if I can’t keep myself from wanting to just giving up but I know that I am just a idiot and that can’t talk to people, can’t make a genuine connection because I fear that I am just being clingy and weird because it’s just now that I find people who can I relate to right now and that share the same interest as me but I fear that I am just being a self centered moron and that they are just putting up with me because I am just so pitiful and why did I have to born on this fucking hell hole of a family why did I have to be born neurodivergent why do I put of with this fucking life why just why

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Of Art and Spectrums of Gender

Every one is capable of art and of interpreting it. Just because greater part of the men that we’ve know of and heard of are crap doesn’t mean that they actually are so as a whole. The spectrum of gender doesn’t apply in art. Because, we have seen even more women bringing things down and stomping all over it. Maybe because you’ve not read it as intently as you should have because you’ve seen that the artist is a man and you subconscious had gotten the better of your judgement. I have felt intense things while reading Joyce and Conrad… Even Pope and Shakespeare and Marvell. Trust me. Forget that these people are men and re read their works over and over again. I felt things I didn’t know I could feel when reading Keats’ nightingale, a few of Neruda poems and oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot, Paulo Coelho… O Henry? I used to judge art based on the creators’ gender and there was teenage blood coursing through my veins and I saw a very dissatisfying similarity of hatred I felt every time I learnt of a male artist, especially in paintings and poetries… Until things changed and my heart got mangled by the essence that I had chosen to turn a blind eye to all those years. It it not wrong to assume the man made spectrum of gender and associate it with the concerned art? We need to see the art as a whole. As the sole object of focus in that point of time. Regardless of its creator. The art is the major concern. Not the artist.

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You how handshakes are awkward because you don’t know what the other person’s style is? A lot of interactions are like that. The best thing to do is do what you feel is right, and then ‘correct’ it should it go wrong, and then next time you know, ‘hey, this person does this style handshake instead of that’ and the other person knows that you do what you do. You’ll either come to an agreement via using one version, or come up with something entirely different. Maybe even a secret handshake, if you get to know the person well enough. Maybe you greet each other with a hug. Maybe they weren’t too keen on touching others anyways, and so you say hello with a wave or a smile. It’s very personal to the person, so it’s not like it’s something you learn once and apply everywhere, but you do learn just a bit about that one person. Don’t deny what kind of person you are for the sake of avoiding clashing ideas, but be open to those that aren’t your own. Keep your own handshake until you and the other person involved agree on what your (both of you) handshake is. It couldn’t be more simple. It makes you more confident and less flapping everywhere, even if the end result, a failure, is still the same. Who knows, maybe you both had the same idea all along.

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First thing I’m going to do after this mess is over is getting a tattoo.

I’m going to call it my post quarantine tattoo so I will have 1. my first tattoo, 2. my well thought expensive tattoo, 3. my anxiety was super high i needed to do something so I didn’t though the tattoo very well tattoo, and now my post quarentine tattoo

4 in total

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I could really give less of a damn about politics at this stage in life but can we just get humble and down to earth people in office? Or do good folk naturally not seek office and leave it for the vermin of humanity to infest and corrupt?

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Ann Gelder
Isn’t it interesting that the religious right, who claim to have so much meaning in their lives in the form of God and Jesus and the unwavering certainty of their own goodness–that these are the people who scream loudest for war, whenever the possibility even faintly appears?
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Tommy Orange
No one even talks about Jesus anymore. The end of the world came and went too many times and Jesus failed to show, or it was because science proved to be right about climate change, and had always stood diametrically opposed to religion. Or we lost the need or ability to have faith. I don’t really know.
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okay over the course of re-reading the trilogy is has come to my attention and is downright ALARMING how many times Nikolai mentions “a hero’s death” or “dying like heroes” (I’m halfway through R&R and have counted three separate references) and I swear to god Leigh Bardugo if this is some kind of sick foreshadowing for kos2 I simply will not have it

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