#rin angst

[dreamlessimp]

— poster

itoshi rin x reader | 0.9k

you go to his game, and he gets mad

your notifications for football games had gone from a necessity, to a minor inconvenience. at first, they allowed you to watch many of rin’s games. it was a way to get closer, and worked well enough.

when he left though, the alerts began to sting in a way that was ever so dull.

still, eventually, you were the fortunate receiver of a welcome surprise—rin would be playing near your house.

disappointing as it was that he hadn’t told you, you were already used to it. you’d begun to speak less and less as time quickly passed, so it served no surprise. still, you tried to cling to the hope that you’d grow closer yet again.

not long after receiving the game notice, you decided to make a sign, a poster of sorts. something to cheer his name, and remind him of yours.

after acquiring poster paper, you pulled open a marker and began the meticulous job of outlining his given name.

resisting the urge to add heats, stars, anything to take up space, you elected to simply adorn the still-white paper with words of wished luck and victory.

though, you quickly fell to the urges and the once crisp white paper was turned into a rainbow you weren’t exactly proud of, but were happy to look at.

the day of his game, you happily grabbed your poster and made your way into the stadium. your seat was close enough to the field that you hoped your probably-just-friend would be able to spare you a glance.

the minutes after his game proved a bigger surprise than you could have possibly considered. not only did rin exclusively seek you out—but he was mad. at you.

you blinked back your shock. “what?”

rin’s eyes widened and he scowled. “i asked why the hell you came.” his voice was far too cold for comfort.

“i’ve come to so many of your games rin.” you choked out. 

“so? i’m asking you why.” he spat.

you were dejected. there was no sense or reason in his anger. it was so nonsensical that there was truly no point in clapping back.

“dammit rin.” you spoke quietly before turning around to leave, eyes as blank as rin’s were cold.

on the way back to your home, you throw away the sign. it’s just a coincidence that you chose the garbage bin outside of the home of itoshi rin.

hours later, rin texts you. ‘i’m sorry.’ he says. you’d have been shocked to find how much he meant it.

he hated his performance in the game. sure, he had scored, but it wasn’t the kind of goal that he wanted to score, the conditions were all wrong and it wasn’t right.

though, he despised his stupid anger at you even more. you had attended his game—which he’d never even told you about—with a sign. one that was obviously homemade no less, so clearly made by you and you alone unlike the so many printed signs he’d seen even that game alone.

he was, horribly stupid.

‘i’m sorry.’ you read from your phone. scoffing, you shut off the phone to sit on your bed, once again staring at the ceiling as you’d been doing for who knows how long.

whether you blamed yourself or rin, whether he had the right to be mad or you did, your mind was too thick to determine. what you knew though, was that you missed the rin you used to know so well.

soon, rin had a vague thought that he needed to stop his lonely pity party, and gathered up his garbage to throw away.

he absolutely did not expect to see that damned sign you made inside of his own garbage bin.

at the sight, the outside of his eyes filled with an unexpected liquid prompting him to instinctively reach up to scratch the pointless sensation.

in a haze, he threw in his trash and carefully picked up the largely undamaged sign. with it held carefully in his undeserving hands, he took it home.

rin took it into his room, where he propped it up on his dresser. from his position at his desk, he could just see it fall from the corner of his eye.

he walked back to once again prop it up, and stood as it wavered, and then fell once again. 

realizing it would not stand on his own, with a glance at your large writing proclaiming his own name, he walked over to the side of his bed and propped up your colorful sign with the soft plushie of a character he did not recognize, that you had once given to him.

it truly made sense that the few sources of color in his room came from you. 

allowing himself to dramatically fall back onto his bed, he gazed at his boring ceiling and waited for the minutes to tick by and for the dread to dissipate from his tired body.

you were wondering for possibly the thousandth time whether or not to respond to rin, when, yet again, you received another call.

letting it ring out, you finally decided to turn off your phone.

with your phone off, you missed the text he instantly regretted sending, but was entirely set on carrying out; ‘i’m coming over.’

#ssimpfics #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi x reader #rin x reader #itoshi rin angst #rin angst #blue lock itoshi rin #blue lock rin #blue lock #blue lock angst #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk itoshi rin #bllk rin #bllk angst

[moominsuki]

✎ᝰ ITOSHI RIN ; — he promised he would never make you sad. even new promises can be born out of broken ones.

࿄ ! warnings — gn!reader except for the usage of ‘girl’, angst & lots of comfort. sfw! / note. my first time writing for rin so go easy on me :,} he makes my heart so warm. enjoy lovies <3

arguments with rin were akin to a battlefield. it hurts more than anything when he spits venom in your face, relaying words that should never be said by a man to his woman.

perhaps it’s the fact that you know him so deeply that reassures a hopeful part of you - a part of you that loves the dark, teal-hued haired man. it’s so tumultuous the way rin can go from zero to a hundred in seconds and suddenly, you’re walking on egg shells around him.

this time though, he knows for certain he’s fucked up. he can see it in the way fat tears run down the softness of your pink cheeks, and in the way that you relinquish all your weaponry, baring only a white flag and your soul:

“you’re right, rin. what do i know?”

it’s been a day and half and rin feels like hot garbage. he’s taking advantage of every half time to see if you’d message him first and his fingers always hover and twitch over the keyboard before the screen inevitably turns dark at his lack of activity and all he can see is his own tired and regretful face staring right back at him.

it was always you who'd reach out and, while he would seldom admit this to anyone, you were a constant in his life, the one person who understood him better than even himself. and now, he could feel you slipping out of his grasp, feeling a sense of despair creeping in.

he’s moving like he’s on auto pilot for the tedious remainder of his practice and he’s realised that you both haven’t gone this long without speaking in a long while and it sucks. why wouldn’t you understand that he’s a working man? he - you both knew that this was complicated. he was a professional footballer now - on the precipice of surpassing his older brother, and could you truly understand all the pressures and expectations that came with it?

rin doesn’t even know the answer to that anymore. though, what he does know is that he’s treated a good girl bad. and he’d be damned if he let his inferiority get in the way of loving you like you deserve.

“rin? you good, bro? you look like shit.” says isagi and rin scoffs before grabbing the black haired man by his shirt and pulling him close.

“what the fu-?!”

“tell coach i’ll be right back. something’s come up.”

rin speeds out the building before anyone can protest, taking nothing but his desire for you. he just hopes he gets there on time.

but it’s not like you’re doing anything particularly profound yourself. having called sick from university for a second day in the row, you’re eating leftover curry from the nights before... the nights when you and rin were cuddled up and you were spoon feeding him this exact meal.

you couldn’t stop the tears from dribbling down your face and right into your bowl. you hate that idiot. you hate that your heart beats for him and him only, even though he makes you feel like this on the bad days.

‘but there shouldn’t be any bad days,’ you think and the wrists of your sweater mop up any salty tears and snot from your face.

you can’t help but wonder if this was a sign from the universe - if you were destined to go your separate ways, to become nothing more than distant memories of a simpler time, a time in which rin would’ve ate glass if it meant he’d never see you cry again.

“you don’t have to do that, idiot,” you giggle, “though it would be a good punishment. are you manifesting that for yourself?”

rin shakes his head that’s kneading against your bare tummy, your t-shirt having been ridden up so he could press his cheek against the warm skin of your belly.

“just shut up… i would do a lot of things so that you’d never cry,” he grumbles cutely, ears red and you run your fingers through his hair as he lets out a puff of air.

“i’ll hold you to that, rinnie.”

three hard knocks against your front door throws you out of your reminiscing and you quickly wipe and pat at your face as hard as you can to brush away any remnants of a sadness-fuelled crying session before padding away to open at the door.

“hi - oh.”

you don’t know why you’re so surprised to see him but to see him like this? all sweated up, out of breath and pink in the face were all symptoms that were reserved for his football practice. the rin you knew would never sacrifice his prime training hours just to see you-

“just give me a minute. you - you don’t have to let me in. but i just wanted to say i love you, y/n. and you deserve better than - than, i don’t even want to say it,” rambles rin, who’s short of breath and he doesn’t know if it’s from running all the way over to see you or if it’s from trying not to get distracted by how devastatingly gorgeous you look, even when he’s the reason for your heartbreak. you’re wearing the sweater that he got you and your eyes are all doe-eyed and glassy and your plump lips are pursed together.

“but i’ll say it anyway because it needs to come from me. you deserve better than me. and i’ll still want you regardless, even though i don’t deserve you. and i’m sorry. i’d still eat glass even if you want me to but it still wouldn’t be enough. i’m sorry.”

rin exhales loudly and closes his eyes for a moment so he doesn’t have to see the hurt on your face but all it does it prevent the anticipation of seeing your arms fly over his waist.

“you’re such an idiot, rin,” you sob, face stuffed in his jersey and he all but wraps two strong arms around and rests his face into your hair, wanting - needing to be engulfed by everything that you are.

“i still hate you for making me sad,” you say, all muffled and sniffly and he breathes out a little harshly at that, wincing but he knows he deserves more than a few pointed words from you.

“i hate myself for making you sad,” he murmurs and you sniffle even more.

“you should definitely eat glass after this,” you mumble and rin presses his lips into the crown of your head and hums.

“as long as it’s made by you.”

“shut up… you should, sniff, go back to practice,” you whisper after pulling your face from the comfort of your boyfriend’s warm and toned body.

“you’re sure you don’t want me to stay?” rin frowns and for the first time in almost three days does he see a beautiful grin take up your face and he has to stop himself crumbling into the floor while you nod fervently.

“seriously, you should go. i don’t want to be the reason why bachira and isagi start going off on you,” you giggle and rin’s lips upturn slightly and he lets out a half chuckle.

“yeah, you’re right. but i won’t be too long so… wait for me?”

“…ok,” you bite your bottom lip and rin holds back the dire urge to kiss you but given the circumstances, he decides not to overstep, already elated that you still want him in spite of his behaviour.

he nods again and goes to leave the vestibule of your home when you pull his arm back.

the dark haired man turns to look at you in confusion, “what-” but he is merely interrupted by your hands that grab at his neck and the push of your lips onto his own.

the way rin kisses back in reciprocity is almost instantaneous and too wild for you to keep up as his hands splay themselves across the small of your back to your waist. your mouth tastes like a faint hue of katsu curry and even so, rin can’t help but slot his lips over yours. you eventually throw your arms around his neck to get impossibly closer to the man and even though he’s smells vaguely sweaty, you can’t help but be addicted to the scent anyway. especially when he holds you like he can’t get enough of you and it makes a fire rumble in the pits of your belly.

“i don’t hate you by the way,” you say when you break apart the kiss to whisper on his lips and he hums, all placant and appeased from being in your arms.

“i know,” and rin leans down to kiss at you one last time and you push him away playfully.

“you should definitely go now. they’re gonna be on you when you come back,” you twinkle and rin can’t help but mirror the soft expression that sits on your face.

“i’ll see you later, y/n,” he nods, taking your knuckles to his mouth, and the action makes you roll your eyes and he smirks this time around.

“okay, okay, i’m gone.”

when you finally get to shut the door behind you, you saunter off to the couch to see a notification light up your phone.

rinnie <3: on my way back. i love you.

a salty droplet hits your phone screen but this time, it’s not a cause of sadness; more so, a cause of adoration for the idiot. your idiot.

you: i love you too, rinnie :) have a good rest of your practice!

the striker has missed approximately 30 minutes of practice by the time he languidly strolls through to the pitch and multiple sharp eyes land on him - despite his attempt at blending in to make it seem like he never left.

to say that the guys on the team lambasted him would be an understatement. rin makes a mental promise to never induce sadness in you again, lest he face the wrath of his annoying teammates. though he doesn’t really care what those idiots think.

he’d run out of a million more games if it meant he needed to make things right with you.

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © moominsuki. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.

#blue lock #not proofread hehe #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin x reader #rin angst #rin fluff #itoshi rin x reader #bllk fluff #bllk angst #✎𓂃stamped: (blue lock)。°˖⌕ #༝˚૮ .♡ rin

[yooils]

everything i know about love. itoshi brothers (seperately!) x reader. bittersweet. fluff & angst. unrequited love.

☆彡– but really, how can he mourn for something he’s never had ?/ or, reasons why they’ll never love.

a/n: i’m so sorry for the way i delayed all my writings!! the rin thing took so long.

SAE ITOSHI can’t love. (at least, that’s what everyone believes, and what he tells himself.)

he doesn’t love. he criticises, observes, scorns it, but he doesn’t know how to love.

maybe that ability was lost a long time ago– along with his naive passion. maybe it was never there to begin with– a fitting explanation, it seems, for a heartless being like him.

sae itoshi doesn’t love. sae itoshi doesn’t allow himself to indulge in such luxuries. (after all, isn’t football supposed to be his only passion?)

but when he meets you, he feels like his world’s been thrown into turmoil.

you’re leagues above him, he thinks.

you’re more than he deserves; more than what he’s signed up for when he chose his future at the age of 13. there was no love included in the contract. there was only a sponsored one-way trip to spain.

(if anything, he could probably learn to love you.)

you’re kind. you’re so pretty to him that his heart aches when you smile at him. your accidental caresses to his skin makes it feel like it’s burning incessantly, permanently scarring where you touched him. your jokes are so bad sometimes a smile creeps out from his stoic face– but vanishes before you can point it out.

he likes you, but he’ll never love you.

not in this life.

(“you’ve probably noticed, but i do like you as more than a friend, sae.”

sae’s breath hitches. he wants, so desperately, to say yes.

he doesn’t.

your understanding smile lingers with him for days.)

it's no surprise when you start to draw away from him, really. but why does his heart ache when he thinks about a world of soccer– without you?

sae itoshi doesn't love, but now he'll be forever haunted by the whispers of what could have been.

RIN ITOSHI has a warped perception of love.

(after all, he's been hurt before. he knows of the horrors that the ephemeral feeling of love comes with. he knows how this story will end. but while sae itoshi cannot love, rin doesn't need it. he's given up on it, really; the very fabric of love having fallen into his category of 'lukewarm' even when he was a teenager who didn't know better.)

yet through the number of lenses you've seen him through over the years, you wonder if he truly is incapable of loving.

the flame in your heart grows bigger, despite the torrents of mental warnings in your head.

exhibit 1.

for someone who exhibits such emotionless behaviour, he really likes stupid dating sims. and he denies it vehemently, when asked.

“it’s not a matter of the romance. it’s so stupid that it takes my mind off things.” rin deadpans, raising an eyebrow at your sudden question.

exhibit 2.

cutely enough, he has an emo, teenager romance playlist.

(when you point it out, he disagrees that it’s angsty. "it's just for homework. i work better with songs i don't care about as white noise."

–the blatant lie that slips out of his mouth makes you question the very foundation your long standing friendship with rin. was he really that intent on lying about something so amusing?)

exhibit 3.

you've been rin's self proclaimed best friend for as long as you can remember. maybe preschool, or even before.

you know how hard it was for him to keep up with his prodigy brother. you know the lengths he's gone through to earn rank #1 on japan's top 300 footballers. you know rin itoshi, the boy behind the stoic and calculated facade. the boy who says he doesn’t cry, but sometimes finds himself tearing up over sentimental pet movies.

(it’s better this way, you know. it’s better to conceal the fact that you’ve been totally in love with him for almost a decade, from you were both angsty pre-teenagers in middle school until now, in your early twenties, when he’s becoming a rapidly-growing football celebrity and you’re still right where he left you, five years ago.)

there’s no happy ending to this story. there was never meant to be one.

exhibit 4. (the disaster)

it was a mistake.

okay, maybe it was less of a mistake, and more of an impulse decision, considering how little he regretted it the morning after.

he should regret it, shouldn’t he? it’s normal to not regret sleeping with the only person he trusts with his life, right? even if his feelings towards you were only platonic..?

he’s been enchanted by the illusions of love underneath the sheets. now he doesn’t know what to do– when he’s so wrapped up in thoughts of you, you, only you.

does he want to like you? no, heavens, no.

(does he like you, realistically, in an ideal world? yes. so much– maybe he would even sacrifice his career for you in another life.)

love is a curse. love ends everything. love is what fuels his hatred.

does he love you?

even if he does, it’ll be astronomically less than how much you love him, wouldn’t it? does it matter? when he’ll never be enough– when you deserve more?

his rejection– blunt, cold, hits you like a truck.

of course it does.

summary

a part of you will always like rin, you think.

rin is childish– rin, at his twenties– still doesn’t know the true extent of how much you actually like him. you don’t think you’ll ever tell him, either.

maybe you should move on.

how can you, when you’ve been in love with the same person for a decade–? how can you, when he was- is everything to you?

(how could he move on as well– when he’s completely ruined the only person who ever liked him genuinely– without any sort of obligation to do so? how could he, when he was the only one who could be blamed?)

maybe, in ten years, he’ll regret it.

11.22.2023

#blue lock #bllk fluff #blue lock x reader #blue lock angst #bllk angst #log– works #blue lock imagines #rin angst #rin itoshi angst #rin itoshi imagines #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #sae itoshi angst #sae itoshi x reader #sae blue lock #sae imagines #sae itoshi #rin itoshi #blue lock sae #blue lock rin

[rewh0re]

— LOVE, TENDERLY ; ITOSHI RIN

-1.2k, hurt/comfort, fight with parents mentioned, reader wants to pursue a literary career, insecurities and second guessing about choices in life, crying reader and gentle rin

a/n- I saw a reel on insta where the bf was wiping his gf's mascara and it was so cute that I was fuelled to write this. I'm literally writing after 2 months so pls spare me. Also I love rin. REBLOGS + INTERACTIONS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!

you could always count on your lover to support your decisions. Rin was your biggest admirer, he was all you could ask for and more.

When the doorbell of his apartment rang approximately at around 10:41 in the night, Rin scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion.

He was not expecting anyone this late. He looked up at the door in suspicion when the doorbell rang again.

Taking his reading glasses off and putting his book down on the coffee table, he uttered a 'coming' before walking off to open the door.

His eyes widened in shock, concern and a little bit of fear at what he saw.

There you were, standing on the other side, arms wrapped around yourself as you sniffled. You were supposed to be at a family dinner. But you were standing in front of him, mascara and eyeliner running down your very glossy and very red eyes, staining your cheeks black.

The sight in front of him, made Rin's heart drop as a sense of unpleasantness and worry consumed him whole.

"Hi," you croaked out, wiping the fresh tear that streamed down your face which  in turn smudged the black makeup residues.

"I'm sorry, I..I just didn't know where to go. I didn't want to be alone. Can I come in?" Your arms tightened around yourself as you looked at him hopefully.

Your words broke his chain of thoughts as he pulled you inside and locked his door.

He sat you down on the sofa and gave you some water which you gratefully drank. You didn't quite realise how scratchy and dry your throat had been until you drank the water.

"Thank you," you offered him a gentle smile.

"Wait here," with that he seemed to disappear somewhere only coming back with a packet of wet wipes.

He sat down and took your face in his hands, inspecting it thoroughly before taking out a wet wipe.

"Dinner went south? Mhm?" He asked, voice gentle like the cool breeze of an autumn's day. It soothed you a bit.

"Yea..." You replied in a murmur, feeling the damp wipe against your already tear dampened face.

Rin's hands worked skillfully as he gently wiped off the runny mascara from around your eyes and cheeks. There was a shared silence between you two that was comfortable, welcomed even.

"I want you to look up for me," he said and you obliged. "Want to tell me what happened?"

"Got into a fight with my mum. She said stuff about me trying to pursue a literary career," you felt your chest tighten as the earlier fight with your mum, who you thought would support your decisions, replayed in your brain.

Rin only hummed, urging you to continue as he slowly went to wipe the other side of your face.

"She said it's not a promising career, would not sustain my life and who knows if it could work out. She said it's better as a hobby, something that I do in my free time. She's so sure I'll fail Rin, I'm scared," your voice broke as a fresh stream of tears fell down your eyes. You bit your lip to suppress any sound from coming out.

"I was so sure that I wanted to do this and now...now I'm second guessing. I mean, what am I even doing with my life? What if she's correct and nothing works out?" You inhaled, exhaling shakily from your mouth. Your breaths were heavy and Rin was livid that someone could break you this badly.

He remembered all the days and nights you spent working on your unfinished debut novel draft, scraping, editing and doing it all over again till you believed it to be perfect. He was there through your writing blocks and how you felt helpless when it happened. He would read your work for you, smiling at you proudly because that's what he was. He was always so proud of you. He always provided you with comfort whenever you needed it. You need it now more than ever.

He kept the wipe down as he finished removing your makeup and wiped away your tears with his hands. He rested his hand on your cheek then. Calloused as they were due to years of football training, they blossomed in you a feeling of solace. A much needed one. You closed your eyes, leaning into his hands as you took it in.

"I think you are wonderful," he rubbed his thumb against your cheek in a comforting motion.

"I think you're wonderful and absolutely brilliant at what you do. Your writing is splendid y/n and never ever let anyone make you think or feel otherwise," you let out a breathy laugh at his words as you opened your eyes to look at him.

"Oh no no don't laugh. I'm dead serious right now," and he was. He was absolutely focussed on your face and he spoke from his heart, with all his heart.

"You have a way with words and you execute them brilliantly. As far as not knowing if it will work out goes, really, of how many things are we absolutely sure about? Life is unpredictable. What if it does work out? That's a fair possibility isn't it?" He tilted his head as he smiled at you, bringing a small smile to your own lips. You didn't even notice but your sniffling and your tears had stopped.

"I know that but it's just so aggravating you know? She just gave me this reality check. She said everything I sometimes feel so insecure about like I don't know, voicing out my worst fears or something," you sighed as you flopped back on the sofa pillow sighing.

"Tell me about having a shitty family," he pushed back his fringes — which messily fell over his eyes again — as he fell beside you, putting his legs up on the coffee table.

"Tell me something Rin," you rested your head against his shoulder, snuggling against his muscular body, his arms engulfing your figure and bringing you closer.

"How do I know everything will be worth it?"

"You don't and that's the beauty of it," he looked down at your face, placing a kiss on your temple.

"You know I never knew if football would be right for me. I knew I was skilled but there were these thoughts in the crevices of my mind that would crawl up to the surface sometimes and I would worry. It took practice, a whole lot of shaping and belief."

"You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe in your dreams. Keep writing, no matter who says what, no matter what happens. You are skilled, you are smart and you have so much potential. Sometimes the thoughts will crawl up but you've got to push them down okay? And when you're the biggest author out there with bestseller books and millions of fans around the world, remember I was your first fan. Also, always your biggest one," He placed another kiss on your forehead as you were left in awe of the words he spoke. You could only grin at his softly smiling visage.

"What?" He whispered.

"I never knew you had a way with words," you took his face in your hands, looking up at him with adoration and love.

He mimicked the look on your face as he slowly wrapped his hand around your wrist, leaving a chaste kiss on your fingers.

"Eh. I try. Gotta watch out for my love now don't I?"

#itoshi rin #rin x reader #itoshi rin x you #rin x you #rin fluff #bllk #bllk fluff #blue lock #blue lock fluff #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #bllk x y/n #bllk rin #rin angst #itoshi rin angst #rin imagines #itoshi rin x reader #—storytelling🌙

[stellayuta]

Rin doing Yoga in the anime had me bawlinggg idk why It also put the image of Yoga Sex with Rin in my mind and now I can't stop thinking about ittt

How about writing something about that?

thanks for putting the image in my head too

mdni, 18+ only

★Rin Itoshi - Yoga S*x☆

The 'R' in Rin stood for routine. He was awake by 5 AM and done with his early morning strength training and jog by 7 AM. To ease the pain of exhausting his stamina and muscles at dawn, he chose Yoga as a means to stretch his body out and soothe the soreness. The upkeep of being a pro footballer was not a regular man's deal after all.

You had never seen his routine ever before because you loved your sleep more than Rin did. In fact, you only knew about his routine in detail because his sports manager scolded him because he refused to take a break from working out even during his off time from the football season. You on the other hand, if there wasn't a reason to wake up before 8:00 AM, you won't. That was the law. Usually, you'd just join a freshly rejuvenated Rin for a hearty breakfast with a yawn and kickstart your day.

One fine morning though, you were forced awake by the sheer heat of the house. It was the middle of the harshest summer Japan had to offer as of late, and you were hoping that for whatever reason the AC was off, it'd better be a good one. You got out of the bed, kicking the musty sheets away from you and swiped at the sweat forming on your forehead. You were melting away even when you were only in a pair of skimpy shorts and a paper-thin tank top. You checked the time before you made your way out of your bedroom - 7:00 AM. The rest of the house was a degree cooler than your oven-like bedroom, but it was enough for you to forget where the thermostat was. That's when you remember that it was Rin who usually handled the thermostat. Maybe it was him who switched the AC off? But... why?

You make your way to the living room to locate the thermostat and are greeted by the most astonishing and unexpected sight right in front of you.

Rin Itoshi's bare back is facing you as he stretches himself out into complicated poses on his yoga mat while soaking in the radiant sun seeping in from the open windows. There is not a single item of clothing on his body. He sighs as he skillfully changes positions and focuses on the left side of his body, balancing himself on the mat. You gawk at his marvelous form as Rin's body shines lusciously under the sunlight, as if lathered by coconut oil and Epsom salts and his own sweat - which it probably is.

"Rin?" you call out without meaning to, making the Itoshi jerk his head up in confusion and smiling when he sees you.

"You up early?" he asks as if he isn't laid out in front of you like a whole meal ready to be ravished.

"Well, the AC woke me up." you say honestly, approaching him as he seats himself on his mat in a lotus pose. You stare at how his limp member and ball sack hang, tucked inside his folded thighs. That's all you can stare at or pay attention to now as you feel a shiver creep up your core and you press your legs together.

"That was my bad. I'm sorry, I usually do this out on the balcony but the neighbors are doing garden-work and obviously, I don't want them to see." he says. Foolish Rin...

"Have you been out on the balcony doing yoga butt naked everyday?" you exclaim. "Rin! People other than the neighbors can see you too you idiot!"

"Are you worried someone might click pictures?" he asks coyly, holding out his hand to entrap yours. It is all slick and sticky with oil and heats up your body even more.

"Have you seen yourself? Anyone would." You say, playing with the hem of your shorts with your other hand. Things are getting sticky inside your body too now.

"Want to try it?" Rin asks, already sliding your shorts down your bare thighs. You don't sleep with underwear on when wearing those pair of shorts. "Oh, look at that." Rin says, cocking his head at the bare delta of your womanhood.

"Come here." he says, kissing your mound generously making you whimper. You grab at his green hair and try to stop yourself from crumbling.

"Y/N. Position your knee like this." he says, folding you knee and pressing your foot to the thigh of your other leg.

"Hands up and palms together." he demands and you follow, keenly trying to balance on one leg. "That's the tree pose." he tells you and you nod. "Great position for what I'm about to do." he says with a smirk, inching closer, his lower lashes hitting your thighs.

The way Rin ravages you over the next few minutes has you praying you don't fall over. The position gives Rin enough freedom to hit some of the most stubborn and well-hidden bundles of nerve inside you with relative ease. His tongue is as flexible as his body was a while ago. You are left croaking as Rin digs his nails into the sides of thighs, shamelessly making slurping noises as he eats you out. Soon enough, you let your hands free from the pose and start rolling your hips onto his face, eyeing him from the top - his reactions, the way his brows tense up, the way he looks up at you occasionally. You force him to hit your most sensitive innards as you finally come undone on his tongue and face without asking. Unbeknownst to you, the lewdness of the whole situation and Rin's skill made you come a LOT. As your eyes are shut and you are unable to process anything around you, Rin is collecting your plentiful essence in his palms. When you finally come to and regain your usual breathing rhythm you find Rin playing with the sticky substance in his hands.

"R-rin?" you ask, eyelids half closed. "What are you doing with that, wipe it off!"

"Nah." Rin says, keeping his eyes on your cum in his hands. "I was in a dilemma since I ran out of oil for you, but you solved my problem." he says and it takes a second for you to understand what he's about to do.

He takes his palms and rubs them all over your body. Your chest, your hips, your navel and your thighs.

"Feel good?" he asks, pressing your back to make you lay on the ground on all fours. "Feels good to be covered in your own slick?"

"Anything for you, Rinnie." you say, wondering why he is pulling one of your legs horizontally. "You're so weird you know."

"I know." he admits. "Balancing Table Pose."

"Wha-?" Before you can finish your question though, Rin rams full force into you from behind. "Keep you other hand up, pretty please. I don't like it when the form is incorrect."

you sniff as your muscles hurt from maintaining the pose. Yet still, after a few seconds your body gets used to it and the pleasure doubles as one each of your arms and legs is up in the air while Rin's pace increases. He presses his chest against your back and keeps the rhythm going, pounding in and out savagely. His angle is so unpredictable, his length is going left and right and top and bottom inside of you, making you scream his name in pleasure. You feel the head of his member in full intensity with one leg up and you feel it's bulbous shape ebb at your cervix with how long Rin is. You so want to see how red his tip is, how angrily it must be leaking out pre-cum right now.

"Ah, just a bit more." he says next to your ear, huffing and puffing as he increases the power of his thrust as you feel your eyes roll back into your head.

"Ah, There. Yes!" Rin scrunches up his face. "Yes!" his tongue lolls out - an occurrence when he is at peak pleasure.

He empties himself inside of you as you feel your abdomen fill up with his sticky liquid.

"There we go." he says, gasping and pulling himself out of you as you drip all over onto his mat, sinking to your knees.

"Session Complete." he says, bringing his towel to your hole.

#blue lock #bllk #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin x reader #rin x y #rin x you #bllk rin #blue lock fanart #rin smut #rin fluff #rin angst #itoshi sae #shidou ryusei #kunigami rensuke #michael kaiser #chigiri hyoma #isagi yoichi #oliver aiku #rin itoshi drabbles #rin itoshi imagines #rin itoshi fanfiction

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ GARDEN SONG . . . ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ブルーロック ; itoshi rin x fem reader (6.8k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ rin's never been in love. he's never had the right to fall in love. so when sae is betrothed to a foreign princess, he doesn't bat an eye. you're just like every other girl who's attempted to marry his half-brother; yet, for some odd reason, he can't seem to shake you off. his heart aches thinking of you, despite how heated you make his head. he hates you. no. he loves you. no. rin doesn't know what he feels.

contains; royalty au, e2l, sfw, bastard prince!rin, princess!reader, reader is betrothed to sae, slowburn, rin calls reader names (like lowkey sexist sometimes), lots and lots of worldbuilding (bear with me please), forbidden love, swearing?, some sexual innuendos, kind of like...medieval dialogue??, tw rin literally calls reader a breeding ground like..., reader is very princess kaguya coded, some princess kaguya references near the end author's note; literally dropping this out of nowhere sorry lol :3 i think this is my best piece of writing i've like ever produced so pls give it a chance n enjoy it! i rewrote the whole thing today in present tense,, so there might be tense errors

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀this part of the fic is about 2 1/2 years old ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀originally a keiji akaashi fic,, lmk any name errors ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀extremely descriptive worldbuilding writing,, (heads up) if it's not ur thing then u likely won't enjoy reading this ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀will have a second part titled swan song in the future!

It’s humorous to Rin— the perception that titles and notability have complete control over one’s life, obligations, and status. The pure and blind belief that every problem or issue can be solved with a man on the throne; a man whose birthright has always stated that that is where he belongs. Where he’ll rule and live out his days, utterly unhappy and self-sacrificing all for the benefit of people, his people, that he doesn’t even know. Strangers. Where he’ll wear a weighted crown encrusted in sapphires and jade, bound to strands of hair that’ll be ripped out if he dare defy his solemn promise to protect his kingdom. The crown must always be worn with pride and honor— the two things in the unspoken king’s code that every man of status is expected to follow— two simple things that seem impossible in Rin’s eyes. 

Yes, he’s been raised according to the precept of manners and fulfillment of duties, but there’s something of the way his own father seems so distant and disconnected from the world around him— from the connections and relationships that he should be closer with— that makes the idea of being emperor completely disheartening. It’s completely and utterly horrid to Rin when he compares a life of golden chains to his dreams of travel and adventure. 

It’s for the best that he’s nothing but a bastard child, then.

Prince Rin of the Itoshi family is nothing if not a black sheep. He’s a man who gentlemen aren’t envious of and whom women never lust for. He’s simply a royal with no drive, no meaning to motives or dreams, and no purpose to carry him onwards. Fortune and prosperity have never and will never be the necessary materials for his happy ending— but freedom and individualism, two contrasting colors amidst blocks of the same shade, speak his language. For in his situation, there’s no point in slaving away his natural qualities in hopes of gaining an ounce of respect from his parents. 

The second born bastard child is but a shadow of a man when he stands behind the true heir—his half brother, Sae. The golden child, the pure-bred son of the true royal bloodline coming from their shared father’s genes. Sae, the future Emperor of Japan. 

An emperor who’s bound to be married off to an unsuspecting princess who’s just recently come of age, and live happily ever after with their countless children. It sounds positively dreadful, doesn’t it? A life that’s been bestowed upon all of the men that have come before Sae— a life void of real love and connection, one that pleasures the theory of bountiful rulings in retrospect to genuine happiness. A life that Rin has never wanted for himself, and has been lucky enough to avoid. 

But as his brother stands opposite to him, with his head held high as he’s about to meet his betrothed for the very first time, Rin feels pity.

It’s a sorrowful sight for Sae and the predicament that he’s been cornered into, but Rin knows his brother does not want his comfort. Their broken bond has been laced with new threads of sadness after years and years of competition— yet, everyone still deserves a choice in their future, in their loved ones, and that choice is being taken away from the crowned prince with every second ticking by. 

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The time is now. 

As the courtroom doors burst open, gold and silver accents vanish from sight. Five guests gracefully enter the palace— that of two guards, a handmaiden, a king, and the most important arrival…you. You, the princess of the neighboring royal family from the South. The royal family that will be merging with Rin’s father’s in a legal binding between you and Sae— the infamous royal wedding of the century. 

“What an honor it is.” Emperor Itoshi greets your father with a firm stare.

The two men analyze one another, squaring out in a power strike before stepping forwards for a decisive handshake. As their palms clap together, Rin can see that this king is much different than his father— seemingly gentle, showcasing a non-plastic smile that’s true and bright whilst his daughter stands behind him— and Emperor Itoshi smiles back. “It’s truly spectacular to finally meet you; well, you and the princess, of course.” 

At his words, your father grins and extends his arm out to you, encouraging you to step away from your trusted handmaiden and towards your future father-in-law— the man who’s retiring his lifelong title in a mere two months for the sake of passage that’s occurred for centuries. A sacred passage between fathers and sons, full blooded fathers and sons. 

“Your majesty,” you bow your head.

As you curtsy in respect, your skirt drapes to the floor— the gown’s extravagance dusting the marble tiles, shimmering beneath the dense candlelight, and reflecting off the mirror and shined surfaces scattered across the ballroom. Despite the perception of beauty and grace that his father and brother seem to share for you, Rin peaks through the cracks of your facade. He can tell this regal persona you’re displaying is nothing but an act. Your stoic expression speaks all he needs to know, that everything about you is princess protocol and lacking personality, and proper folk have never been his usual cup of tea.

While he’s been ordered to entertain ladies of the court and women in the social ring for years-on-years, there wasn’t one occurrence where he actually obeyed his father’s demands— rather string along every maiden sent his way and bid them farewell after a night or two of endless, droning conversation; that and perhaps a few turns in and out of his bed chambers, which is a fact that is infamous among the palace staff. Rin disregards them, though. Tuning others out is his speciality. He uses it in daily conversation, diplomatic meetings, as well as other important matters such as the one happening now, right in front of him. Just a few feet away. 

This is pointless. 

Why is he being forced to be here? 

It’s not like you're his bride.

Rin doesn’t even bother to tune into the presumptuous meeting of you and Sae. They don’t involve him in any way nor does he care for either of you. Typically, most others don’t give him the time of day, so who’s to say that they deserve it from him? The only thing he owes to others is his mere existence as the kingdom’s greatest mistake— all to remind the ton that there is a good and gracious prince, and they should be grateful that he is to be their ruler and not Rin. 

Rin, whose birthright is to stand still and respond to his father’s wishes with no choice other than to agree.

So, as the decadence concludes with the bowing of heads and nods of approval dispersing amongst royals and servants, Rin thinks nothing of the way you and Sae stand beside one another in light conversation.

It’s desperate. The sight of you attempting to find a sliver of mutual interest or some sort of connection that binds the two of you other than royalty, makes him look in disdain. He’s grateful that he won’t be the one spending the rest of his already grey life with you, ruling the kingdom.

You aren’t really his type.

“Rin!” Sae’s voice rings through the courtroom, his eyebrows raise in expectancy as he ushers his half-brother towards his bride-to-be, wanting to introduce the two that’re going to be living in close proximity for the weeks to come. “Do come close, I’d like you to meet my bride. Perhaps you’ll find something in common and make a friend for once, for this girl can’t be another one of your whores.”

Typical Sae.

Whether the dig was intentional or unintentional, Rin grimaces at his brother’s words—pursing his lips into a tight smile and closing his eyes in an attempt to disguise his disdain with faint exhaustion.

“Apologies, my brother. I’m afraid I’m rather tired and would prefer to return to my quarters.” Rin nods towards the two of you in respect. “Do enjoy her company, yourself. I’m sure the two of you will be sharing personal physical matters in the near future— best to be comfortable.”

With a quick turn of his heel, he carries on, making his way towards the exit of the throne room, to his grand living quarters— quarters that are fit for a bastard prince such as himself. However, his rancid suggestions aren’t left unanswered, instead contemplated by you as he hears your light voice speak to his brother. Rin hates first impressions. Not because he gets anxious or worried about being disliked; but because he already knows whoever he’s speaking to already knows his history. They know the truth of his bloodline, and they’re never afraid to step on his already small ego. You’re no different. 

“So the rumors are true then?” 

You speak aloud in a low tone, deciding the best words to use, and phrasing your statements in the most respectful manner you can muster— not wanting to offend Sae in any way, shape, or form while you address his little brother. 

“Your brother is not the royal he’s made out to be?” As your voice trails off, regret immediately overcomes you as the subject of conversation stops dead in his tracks.

A scoff escapes his lips, head tilting to the left as your remark settles beneath his skin— hitting that special little spot that enrages every buried emotion, feeling, and reaction in his heart. 

Rin spins on his heel with a manic look on his face as he analyzes the regret hidden in your weary posture; which is in great contrast to the confidence and poise you’d displayed a mere seconds before— poise that appears to be only a facade, a mystery that he’d gladly uncover if he actually cared just an ounce about your wellbeing. Taking long strides towards you, ignoring the words of concern from his half-brother, he stops to a halt at your feet— giving you nowhere to avert your eyes, gaze being forced to rest on his anger and distaste only. The rage bubbling in the pit of his stomach is like an over-boiling copper pot, scorching water taunting the brink of the lid, causing it to fly off and wreak havoc elsewhere.

“Tell me, princess.” He ponders mockingly, finding great humor in how tense he was able to make you with three simple words. 

“What is it that you make me out to be?”

There’s a shit-eating grin at the tip of his tongue, a taunting aura to his spite. Perhaps there’s a part of him that hopes your response will be genuine, positive to the darkness that’s held to his head on a daily basis— but no matter. He already knows what your misconceptions contain. He knows that you’d already filed him away in the troublesome cabinet at the back of your brain. It’s almost like he’s looking at an average cavern girl with great beauty. You’d be nothing without the small tiara on your head, that’s clear after determining the lack of assertiveness you assume. 

…but perhaps, for once, Rin is wrong.

Not a single response emits from your mouth, the silent stare down between glaring eyes being intimidating enough; there’s absolutely no way you were going to anger the bastard prince any further. Yes, he’s considered to be nothing but a brute, but there’s something in his sparks of blue that makes you believe otherwise. 

This man is an underestimated enigma, and you sure as hell aren’t going to be one of those common fools who blindly thinks otherwise.

“Your brother tells me you are a good man.” you speak enunciating each word to ensure that it gives its intended effect, that being of a derogative nature masked with falsified kindness and fortitude. “He says that your people adore you, that you are one in the same. Grounded. Of level head.” Bullshit. 

Sae would never say those things.

The people would never say those things.

Rin scoffs, listening to the meaningless and unoriginal acclamations being brought to his attention, tired of having to hear them day after day by not only his fellow royals, but staff and peasants— and every other person who’s ever been fortunate enough to cross paths with the royal family, always being disappointed that he is the one to be met.

As he steps closer, wanting to see just an ounce of fear in your eyes, a frown is brought to his beautiful features. What?

In no way are you intimidated by his presence. There’s no shudder, no wince, no flinching whilst his steps grow closer and closer to your position. Just a blank stare of nothingness at his furrowed brows. You aren’t reacting like the other princesses that’ve come to attempt to wed Sae; all princesses who have come and gone due to Rin’s dark intimidation. You have spirit, a fire that’s not willing to be doused by his ocean of hatred.

“Are these your words?” he interrogates.

One of his hands reaches out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your right ear, noticing the tomato red of your cheeks. Smirking, he thinks to himself how dismantled you likely are beneath your stoney stance. “Or are these all of the things my brother has told you? Do you have any thoughts of your own, princess?”

“No need to answer that. I already know what you think of me.” Continuing on, deaf to the attempted precautions from Sae, he leans in— his lips just ghosting over yours, and whispers his final remarks. 

“You’re an open book, beautiful— and I can’t say that I'd ever want to read you.”

So, as Prince Itoshi Rin’s steps recede, the distance between you two grows with every second; and you feel a bright, red, rage bubbling deep within your heart. It’s a hot and heavy anger simmering within your soul for the sly man with dark hair— knowing full well that he will be one of the many, if not the biggest, challenge you’ll face in your newfound kingdom.

And never before, have you felt more ready to take on a challenge.

Annoyance is the most prominent emotion Rin has felt in the past two weeks. 

Utter disdain at the sight of you and Sae conversing through the courtyard, picking flowers in the rose garden, and taking romantic boat rides in the nearby lake. It’s one thing to fall in love, feel your heart begin to swell at the physical presence of that one special person— but it’s another to have to witness first-hand with no relation to the budding romance at all. Having no need to be involved in the newfound relationship, yet still being forced to interact as a third party member. It’s absolute madness.

He’s somewhat happy for Sae, he truly is. There’s a sense of pride in his soul at the sight of his half-brother stepping up to the position that he’s been in preparation for for all of his life— but with that promotion comes you.

With the rise of power comes your completely lethargic presence. 

Oh how he cannot stand you.

You’re just insufferable. You’re unapologetically and unequivocally insufferable to his mind. The mere sound of your voice sends him into a downward spiral. The mere thought of your existence ruins his day with ease. The slightest mention of your life-lasting role in the kingdom he’d grown up in ignites the most powerful feeling of disgust he’s ever known. The weight of his conscience burns with every snarky remark, dig, and insult that flies from your throat; your trained grace never falling scarce in melody, although your words could be considered crude by any proper lady. Words that allow you to terrorize his brain in the midst of night, keeping him awake whilst the moon becomes one with the sun.

He fully believes that you were created to be the bane of his existence…the hell to his heaven…the demon behind all corners in the everlasting game that he has the misfortune of living. 

“You’re looking a little grey today, Rin.”

Oh no…

“Perhaps it’d be wise to freshen up a bit!”

Please, just shut up.

“I’m sure the servants won’t mind spending a few hours by your side in an attempt to make you look handsome!”

He hates that damn sound.

There it is. The dreadful sound of your sing-song voice ringing through the hallowed halls, emptying the painfulness of your personality in the wake of the morning dew— as for some god awful reason, you always insist on being the first person to the dining hall, wanting to mark each new day with a classic and large Japanese breakfast.

“As I’ve said many-a-times before, princess.” His head swivels to face you, eyes rolling at the skip in your step. “You are to refer to me as Prince Rin, it is what I prefer.”

“Is it your honored title or is it what you personally enjoy?” you challenge, looking over your shoulder with a mocking pout, having the knowledge that he has certainly come to despise you in the short time you’ve known one another. “Greatest apologies, my liege; but it wouldn’t be proper of me, a woman, to call you, a man, a name that isn’t of great decadence.”

“Surely you can see where my true intentions lie?”

A pained grin comes to shine on his features, shooing away the rain clouds and allowing sparse rays of phony sunshine to shower you. His teeth bite his bottom lip as he struggles to keep his curses imprisoned between his heart and his tongue. You had to have been born of a despicable nature. In no world that is right, in no paradise would anyone deserve the punishment of having to know you— as Rin believes all tyrants belong with the street rats. Not to insinuate you’re a tyrant, but to express that you’re equivalent to a sickly rodent. 

“I’m not a fool, you know.” he spits, striding towards your retreating figure and grabbing you by the forearm and stopping you in your tracks. Rin smirks as his touch forces you to become overwhelmed in shock. “I see you, princess. I see through your poise and ladylike mannerisms. I can see what a lonesome and sorrowful shadow you’ll inevitably become. No wonder you’re going to be nothing but an objectified woman, an accessory to Sae’s power— a dull little doll of a woman who perhaps had moxie in her past— yet still became a lifeless puppet beneath a bejeweled tiara, stuck with the hands of judgment up her arse.”

You’re a fool to go toe-to-toe with him, of all people. 

Rin doesn’t think he’s ever seen such fire behind your eyes. Fire that burns hot, raging with seething anger and humiliation. If the world were to be supernatural, there’s no doubt in his mind that you’d have set it aflame in response to his vile predictions; the castle crumbling in ash with you standing alone in its wake atop his lifeless corpse that’s burnt to a crisp.

“You are entirely incorrect, never have I shown servitude for the sake of reputation—”

“Really?” his snarling voice interrupts you, refusing to let you get a single word in amidst his long-winded attack. “Then what is it that you’re doing right now, at this very moment. No princess with a functioning brain would ever find herself working with kitchen servants to prepare breakfast for two royal families. She’d simply order them to do it on their own. Every single thing you do is in order to gain likability from those who shouldn’t ever matter. If you had a backbone of any sort, you’d understand that— and you’d understand that titles are of nothing. They’re of no relation to any true purpose or meaning.”

“Then what are you?” you retaliate, ending the lengthy trail of hurtful words and confessions spewing from his mouth. “What are you but a sorry excuse of a prince…of a son?”

“You say titles are rubbish, yet you continue to wear that horrendous crown atop your hair. You choose to take it off of your placid vanity and wear it with honor; although you aren’t much of an honorable man, are you? If you were, then perhaps you’d have a grain of respect from your people. Perhaps you would spend your days in the throne room, being in the advisory alongside your brother— your splendid and valiant brother who has done nothing but serve for the greater good— instead of dallying away with mundane and useless tasks that no one cares to notice! As why would anyone bat an eye at a mistake, when they could be focused on someone like Sae. Someone of the sun’s decadence?”

The face opposite to yours is almost unrecognizable; with his red skin, flared nostrils, and dead-set eyes, Rin looks as if he’s just murdered a man out of spite and grief. He looks as if he’s just induced a homicide and is preparing to start anew, find another victim…that victim undoubtedly being you. 

He tips his head downwards, breath grazing against your upper hairline whilst his dark crown shifts in his hair— nearly falling off the front of his forehead, the large arches seem ominous and unwelcoming along with the deadly ocean depths of his eyes. The usual gem-like blues holding a more dangerous tone than a tsunami. 

Rin knows he’s frightening…

…and he’s enjoying it.

“You speak on things you know nothing of.” Rin fakes a straight toothed smile; his outside appearance looking completely opposite to the growing pit at the bottom of his stomach. If the peasant’s freak show has come to the kingdom, he’ll be the opening act—a fraudulent performer behind a mask of stoney emotions. “I have freedom and opportunity. If I so wanted, I could order a horse to be prepared, ride through those gates, and never look back. There is nothing holding me here— not my father, my brother, or the people. When will you realize how little your beliefs matter to me.” 

He’s boiling with rage, as are you whilst his words ring truer than you’d like to admit; each one hitting the most insecure corners of your heart. “Your meaningless and unimportant opinions in relation to my kingdom— when in reality, you’re simply another black plague that’s washed upon its shores. Another person who’s crawled out of the local sewers and weaseled their way into the generous hands of the royal family. It’s just so unfortunate...”

“...that in the end, you’re nothing but a breeding ground for my brother.”

On instinct, without a coherent thought in your mind, you feel your arm swing out— open palm flying through the air, only to land against the dark prince’s swelling cheeks— leaving not only a bright, red mark, but also an expression of identical shock on both of your faces.

Taking a step back, he reaches upwards to cup the bruise only to realize that you’ve done far more damage than a measly purple wound. You’ve managed to produce a cut, one that seeps through his scarlet blossoms and runs from the corner of his eye to the bottom of his chin; displaying the path of your anger whilst your ring-studded hand has directed itself across his face. 

Raindrops of ruby pour from the injury as you stare in horror at your blood splattered engagement ring.

The shimmering diamond turns dark as the tide of rouge rolls in, encasing the notion of property beneath your outspoken and unintentional hatred for Rin; and before you’re given a chance to respond, a second to apologize, the man has already stalked off towards his living quarters— not wanting to see the look of expected satisfaction on your face at the sight of his uncontrollable winces. You don’t deserve to smug as he rests in pain— despite how you are, in truth, regretful of what you’ve done.

Though, not that he’ll ever come to that conclusion.

As why would you, someone in the same likable ranks as a weathered gargoyle have any intent of remorse. Why would you, a woman who would soon have all the power in the world to hold over his head, care about a lasting scratch; no matter how deep. 

You’re a tyrant, and oh-how he loathes a tyrant.

A garden of statues would perhaps have more purpose than Rin in his current predicament— standing between his father and half-brother, listening in on the up-and-coming preparations for the royal wedding; whilst even the breaths he takes are ignored, lost in a sea of ignorance and invisibility. Emperor Itoshi gleams with pride, his mindset focused on the change of power— the crown on his head that will soon be worn by his eldest son, the one of pure royal blood. Yet, with the happiness in his heart, his smile only reaches so far; never shedding light on the tundra that consumes his bastard child. 

“Rin!” The man hollers beside him as he grasps Sae’s shoulder in a love-bound strength; his god-given touch of a father being miles-on-miles away from the fragile prince who needs it most. “Look at the life your brother’s going to make for himself! Witnessing him amidst the coronation will be splendid—”

“Remind me again, father.” Rin interrupts, not wanting to hear a minute more of the relentless doting. It’s night and day, a never ending string of praise and compliments, all for the great, Sae. “Where is it that I am to be for the duration of these wondrous festivities? I don’t believe I’ve heard spoken word of that as of yet.”

A wave of ignorance acts upon itself through his father’s careless hand, dismissing the trivial concerns of his youngest son; his heart only having enough room for one soul other than himself. “I suppose you’ll stand with the castle staff, it’s likely we have a limited space at the head of the church due to the size of our friends' traveling blood.”

The castle staff?

He’s to stand with lowly servants?

Rin doesn’t know why he feels so shocked, after all, he should’ve been expecting to be cast aside with those of low status. While his title associates himself with the royal lineage, he’ll never truly be accepted into the upper class— that divide has always been inflicted upon him by his own father. 

“So, I am not to be in our primary aisle? I am not to have a sliver of sight at Sae’s crowning?”

There’s a hint of spite in his tone, a spite that was usually hidden from the eardrums of others, revealing itself to the people who’d known it was lurking for decades. While Sae simply disconnects himself from the conversation, a privilege that he’s lucky to have, refusing to meet his younger brother’s eyes— their father pushes further. He’s well aware of the growing insecurities his bastard child has, but he also knows how to obliterate the subject in its entirety.

“You aren’t pure.” His voice is stoney and directed at Rin whilst gesturing to Sae, as he shakes his head at his least favorite son. “I can’t possibly have you, a boy I conceived with a gutter whore, stand at the equal sides of neighboring royalty. It would be seen as disgraceful.”

This isn’t the first time Rin’s heard these words.

“You are a disgrace.”

His father tells him these things often.

“All you are is a physical representation of my shame, boy. You’ve already embraced the darkness—it’s about time you allow the shadows to consume you whole.”

That doesn’t lessen the pain, though.

With that, Kyohei turns away and grasps Sae’s arm, leading him towards their higher chambers; ones that Rin has never been honored to walk upon. There are no glances, no solemn, not a single look back by his father to perhaps ensure that his son is somewhat okay or devastatingly upset— though, neither one is true. The only emotion racing through the thick blood in his veins is emptiness. Just the familiar feeling of being worth absolutely nothing in the eyes of the man who should see him as the world. From the beloved emperor that cares for nameless peasants and civil servants, his father is seen as just and valiant— his true nature of disdain and cruelty only being known by his immediate family.

So as he walks alone, with no council weighing down on his heart, no angel on his shoulder, and no devil in the ranks— Rin is blind to the world around him. He chooses to maintain blindness in relation to any matter that seems regal and of importance. Since, after all, who is he to state a claim on that significance…

…when he, himself, has no significance at all?

His feet move on autopilot, like a white pawn at the match’s first mark. As if there’s a knife at his throat, forcing him to play down the chessboard— across the bi-colored tiles and towards the blackened queen. Him being a simple sacrifice; one of many to ensure a victory, no matter the underlying consequences. No matter the fact of how he’ll never hear the final calling, the call of wind inducing the fallen king and victorious player— as he’ll be far too acquainted with death to rise back from the shattered stone. A small sense of relief overcomes him as he steps into the courtyard. His soul is satisfied and alleviated at the location his muscle memory has taken him. While the twilight moon is nearing, his mind is awake; fully conscious and stormy of his own self-doubt and insecurities. Two things that can typically only be dissolved by his favorite location on the castle grounds.

The secluded lake amidst the willow trees. It shimmers and glistens beneath the draping branches, and acts as a hub of life and growth. His secret spot is possibly the most beautiful feature in the kingdom, at least Rin feels so; with its evening flowers and low-light critters, the soft grass and blossoming lily pads, and the perfect view of Andromeda— it’s his safe haven.

A safe haven that he prefers to keep to himself. 

A place that no other person has stepped foot in for as long as he’d known of its existence.

A place that has just now been infiltrated by the disguised cockroach that is you.

“You torment me day and night within the walls of my own home; yet you still find it necessary to follow me as if you’re a lost duckling during ungodly hours.” he deadpans, shaking his head at the sight of your furrowed brows and taking a seat at the bay. Rin sighs deeply as his calloused skin comes in contact with the grassy fibers. “A proper princess would be in her chambers by the time midnight struck. It’s nearly 12:30, princess.”

Why are you looking at him like that?

The strange look on your face is laced with some sort of emotion that he’s never seen before. It's buried beneath the layers of organic makeup and skin. He can only assume it’s something similar to discomfort, and despite your intentional mask being well kept— he can see through anyone. He has the rare ability to understand the thickest of thieves, as he, himself, is the biggest phony of them all. 

The sparse shadows soften your usually antagonized features in his mind, a more human appearance alleviating in its wake; and Rin swears he sees a tear drip from your right eye, swimming down your cheeks, and dropping off at your chin into the dewey land— becoming one with nature’s true beauty. The earth embraces your unexplained sadness with open arms, blowing the willow branches around your body. In a strange way, Rin thinks this is the first time he’s truly seen you as what you are. A princess. You’re beautiful beneath the moonlight, but perhaps it isn’t your physical beauty that’s catching his eye…but your emotional vulnerability.

“Dearest apologies, my liege.” you mutter, voice droning on with not a sliver of spite in your tone; only exhaustion. “I’m afraid that I’m not much of a proper princess, tonight. If you’d prefer it, I’d be more than welcome to leave you be— perhaps I’d regain some of my lost dignity in doing so.”

He studies you for a moment, his eyes grazing your posture, the physical habits you display on the daily are missing beneath the moon’s kisses. All that’s left in its disappearance is a small-spoken and sadness-consumed girl. A girl that’s tired and painstakingly sick of the expectations and predecessors that she’s been forced to live up to by birth…and as much as he hates to admit it, even just to himself, he’s found a similar identity in you. A familiarity he’s never quite noticed before.

“Stay.” His voice is so faint that even he is surprised at his statement. 

“Perhaps we’ll both freeze to death.” he continues on, feigning the annoyance he typically spits in your direction. “I’d quite enjoy seeing your ghastly face covered in ice.”

While Rin believes his offering to be nothing out of the ordinary, your expression tells otherwise. It’s clear that you’re able to read through the misconceptions he’s trying to give you; looking straight into his eyes with an amused gleam and giggling softly in response. He’s never made a princess laugh before— usually the only girls he spends one-on-one time with are the tavern girls who wish to sleep with a prince— and he’d be a liar to say he didn’t like the sound. You have a beautiful laugh and Rin hangs onto every second it continues to carry through the wind. Perhaps he’s been misjudging you just as you misjudged him. Perhaps you’re not like the others.

“I’m sure you would, Rin.” you smile, sitting down next to him on the plush comfort of uncut grass. “But I have had such an awful day, that I don’t think there’s anything you can say to me that will make it worse.” An awful day?

“May I ask what happened?” Why does he suddenly care?

“Yes, you may.” Why do you want to tell him?

A sigh breathes out of your lips, whistling in the wind and getting lost in the space of stars. “I’m a lousy princess.”

He chuckles, shaking his head and nudging your shoulder. There’s no way that you, little miss prim and proper, are a bad princess. You’re practically the model that every father bases his daughter on when raising her in a royal setting; he knows because he’s met his fair share of truly lousy princesses. “No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.” you’re not looking at him anymore, rather at the constellation ceiling above you. The stars reflect themselves in your eyes, and if you weren’t a princess on earth, Rin would think you were a gift from the moon himself. “I could barely keep up with Prince Sae today. We had dance rehearsals for the wedding, and our instructor is so strict that I can barely breathe around her without being reprimanded. I couldn’t even memorize the basic steps, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have practically been training for this duty for my entire life and I can’t remember a few dances? I’m not fit to be a queen. I just turned eighteen, I’ve barely lived at all. How can I protect an entire kingdom, when I cannot even fend for myself?”

“Prince Sae is perfect. He’s amazing. I can’t possibly be enough to be his wife. I can’t live up to those standards. It’s impossible.”

Suddenly, all of the broken pieces seem to come together. They’re swept by a broom, one that the moon king holds above the two of you, as your shattered stars of insecurities collide into one pile of stardust. Rin sees himself in you. He sees himself from a perspective that he’s never known before. Never in his life has he met someone who understands and agrees that royal duties are impossible; usually common folk and other royals tell him what an honor it is to be of a royal bloodline. They don’t care or consider his feelings on having to be held to a higher standard, while also being at a disadvantage as a bastard child. You are different. He knows you won’t judge him for these fears he has; a small part of him trusts you now. 

“My brother is a golden boy.” Rin smiles at you, and it’s the first genuine smile he’s ever given someone. “Please do not take it too personally if you cannot live up to his excellence.”

You gaze at him in appreciation, scooting slightly closer while keeping a healthy balance that wouldn’t ensue romantic implications. “Thank you. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for you, though. How do you handle all of this? I can barely keep my head above water.”

Wow…you’re the first person who’s ever asked how he feels. 

“It’s difficult,” he explains, “but manageable. I’ve only ever known this life, so I’m quite used to being at the end of the line so-to-speak. My brother— I’m not sure why I even call him that, he’s not my brother, I’m sorry. My half-brother is the kingdom’s blessing. He’s my father’s blessing. He’s perfect like you said; but his destiny isn’t his own. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Your head shakes in confusion, not quite understanding where his story is going.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never spoken of these feelings before; at least not out loud to someone other than my own mirror.” His human instinct shuffles himself closer to you, wanting that physical comfort whilst knowing that he can never have it. “I’m not unhappy that I am not the one to be emperor. I would rather be a bastard, because at least I have freedom to run away one day without worrying about feeding the masses and avoiding war. I can leave this kingdom and not have to think about my father or Sae ever again. That’s the one luxury I have always had— and it’s the one thing that I look forward to. I’m so sorry that you don’t have that same privilege.”

Nothing comes as a response and Rin feels a little concerned, that is until your soft voice reaches his ears. 

“I’m sorry for being so difficult towards you.”

You’re apologizing?

“I don’t regret anything, though.”

That makes more sense.

Another laugh bubbles up from the pits of his soul, setting off the volcano of amusement that’s been dormant for so long. “You’re a tyrant princess, my kingdom should be more weary of you.”

You giggle beside him, “Tyrant princess sounds more fun than disciplined empress.”

Maybe he’s gone mad or maybe the chilling breeze has gotten to his brain and made him delusional, but Rin feels his heart pounding— and not in the familiar way of anger and aggression. This rapid heartbeat is something warmer…fonder…gentler. If he’s not mistaken, he believes it to be the warmth that comes with falling in love; something that he’s only read about and wished for when he does eventually run away from home. However, he never believed he’d find that feeling within the palace walls— especially with you, whom he despised prior to this night. He promised himself he’d never fall for another royal, but his destiny is shaping itself in ways that are unpredictable.

He should thank the man in the moon.

Rin stands, dusting off his pants, before offering you a hand. It’s an earnest gesture, one that you cannot ignore, and he’s vulnerable with his sincerity. “I can’t promise that I hold any skills near to my brother, but I swear on my soul that I won’t push you into that lake if you give me one dance.”

“Just one?” your tone is teasing, yet you accept his offer. The feeling of your hand in his sparks flickers of jealousy in Rin’s mind. Why is Sae the one who gets to hold you? It isn’t fair. “If you push me in that filthy water, I’ll give you a matching scar…”

“...right there.”

One of your fingers softly grazes his cheek, the spot underneath his right eye and flicks upwards, brushing against his thick eyelashes, before you lace your hands around his neck. You sway together, with the moonlight showering its stars down upon you, blessing you with well-wishes from the galaxy— and drift away from the worries of royalty and betrothals. Rin is miles from the anger that nestled itself inside of his heart, freezing it and shrinking it until he no longer knew what the emotion felt like. You’ve melted that ice. You’ve found a crack and broken the cycle of rage he’s so accustomed to…and he’s grateful. 

For this is the first time he’s ever felt loved…

…if only you were his…

…but you aren’t.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀thank you for reading! reblogs are greatly appreciated! ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀will have a second part titled swan song in the future!

#this fic is finally seeing the light of day #literally been buried in my archives for years now LOL #hope u enjoy it <3 #angelshubnetwork #i.e. garden song #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin x reader #rin x you #rin x y/n #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x reader #rin ff #rin fanfiction #rin fanfic #rin angst #rin fluff #itoshi rin fanfiction #itoshi rin fanfic #itoshi rin x y/n #rin itoshi x you #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin hc #itoshi rin hcs #itoshi rin angst #rin itoshi fluff #rin itoshi angst #bllk #blue lock

[itoshiexx]

behold: the end of the world is near.

synopsis: rin feels you slipping through his fingertips every time you fight, and he's sure he won't survive the heartbreak when you inevitably leave.

pairing: itoshi rin x gn!reader | words: 532 | warnings: established relationship, angst, rin is overthinking and hating himself, this is 100% self indulgent and honestly just word vomit

notes: it’s 3 am, i’ve just cried like a madman and spilled all my pain in this drabble. wrote on my phone so sorry for any mistakes and lack of format. will edit soon.

fighting with you always felt like the end of the world to rin.

when the little daily arguments started to gather into a huge snowball and ultimately become a serious conversation, with some accusations, some screaming and throwing some stuff on each other’s faces, all rin could think of was: this is it. this is the moment they leave forever.

he was no stranger to being left. he was no stranger to the piercing pain that came along with it, too; but somehow, rin knew that it would be a thousand times worse when it came to you.

he knew that if you left, he would never be able to recover from the heartbreak. the love he harbored for you in his strongly guarded heart would spill and consume everything inside of him like a scorching flame, until there was nothing left but the bitter taste of ashes.

he would never breathe the same. he wouldn’t see the world in its full colors, hues and brightness. there would be no point for him anymore, because itoshi rin was certain that the sole purpose of his soul was to love and be loved by yours — and although his love would be eternal no matter what, he knew damn well yours could end at any minute.

in those stupid fights, you could see all of his flaws and idiot mistakes. all of the things he could have — should have — done; all of the ways he should have tried harder and been better. in every word traded between you two, his imperfections would show, and make way to the abnormal abyss inside of him that always devoured any chance of happiness he could possibly have.

he wasn’t meant to be happy. rin knew he was way too broken to live a content life with a love as beautiful as yours. and every bone in his body ached with the awareness that being by your side was a paradise he didn’t deserve.

and no matter how much he tried, he could hardly understand what he felt, why he acted the way he did and how he could fix everything wrong in him to match with your perfection.

one day, you would see just how wrong itoshi rin was for you — or anyone, for that matter, because in this lifetime and the next there would only ever be you for him. and when this day came, you would leave without looking back, grateful for getting rid of such a burden like him, who was holding you back from giving your love to someone that could retribute like you deserved.

and on this dreadful day, the song of the apocalypse would play on repeat in his head until his ears bled and his skin became dust without your love flowing through his veins. amongst the burning sensation of being left behind, once again, because he was too much and not enough at the same time, despair would swallow him whole until he was just a pile of sorrow and regret.

itoshi rin was no stranger to loneliness, but being without you would mean being alone with no one but himself. and that would be the end for him.

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

#bllk imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock drabbles #blue lock fanfiction #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x y/n #itoshi rin x you #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #bllk rin #rin itoshi x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock rin #rin angst #blue lock x you #itoshi rin x y/n

[okkotsuus]

break my heart again (rin i.) !

features: rin i.

contents: sae and rin's past spoilers. string language. childhood friends to lovers. angst. hurt no comfort. fluff at the beginning. crying. lowk the one that got away. 3.2k words.

pt.2

you knew your time with itoshi rin was limited. but, for him, you’d take the pain again and again just to see his turquoise eyes.

professional athletes are infamous for trouble with relationships. whether it’s cheating, publicity, or just flat out being too busy. but you couldn’t help it. you were unable to allow your logical mind to resist the charm of rin.

you first meet him during one of his brother’s soccer matches, back when the both of you weren’t tall enough to see without standing on the bleachers. his chubby face turned to you when you stood next to him, you swear that was the moment that you first fell in love with him.

at the tender age of seven, your heart was already claimed by rin itoshi. it would stay that way for the rest of your life, no matter how many times he would throw it aside: it had always been his and his alone.

you just smiled at him, watching as his sparkly eyes widened, his pale cheeks flushing. he looked away, a pout on his tender face. “who’s your favorite?” the question he asked had your grin widening, excited to blab mindlessly (as seven year olds do).

“number eleven! he’s so cool, i think he’ll be the best in the whole world one day!” that was the moment rin itoshi noticed you, the moment that set everything into motion.

he was so excited as he began to talk about him, number eleven: his beloved older brother. “isn’t he?? he’s my older brother, and he will become the best in the whole-wide world!” his eyes sparkled like gems while the both of you began to chatter, commenting on every single thing that happened in the game. you cheered whenever sae scored, jumping on the bleachers beside each other. this was when rin claims he fell in love with you.

when the game had ended, rin held your hand in his as he led you to the sidelines. you looked down at your interconnected hands, cheeks heating up. the smile on your face was a lot more pure now, genuine in its whole.

“big brother, big brother! you’re so cool !!” sae turned to look at rin, then his eyes flickered over to you, making you slide behind the younger boy’s back. you couldn’t tell if it was shyness from meeting your favorite local player, or if it was from meeting the most important person to the boy who was still holding your hand.

“thank you, rin. who’s your friend here?” sae was now looking dead at you with a muffled curiosity in his eyes. rin didn’t get along with most people, he was quiet and tended to avoid kids his age; favoring his brother and kids sae’s age. but here he was holding your hand, while your face was hidden in his back. sae also did not fail to muss the rosy hues on his younger brother’s chubby cheeks.

“this is y/n! they’re a fan ‘f yours too, they’re so awesome aren’t they?” rin pulled you from behind him resting his hands on your shoulders as he presented you like a prize. your eyes widened as you were forced to meet the gaze of the older boy, weakly waving. you began to stutter out a greeting but stopped yourself, not wanting to risk embarrassment. your little hands reached down to fiddle with the end of your shirt as heat crept up the back of your neck in anxiety.

what if sae didn’t like you? what if he thought you were just some lame little kid? what if that made rin hate you?

your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the boy with light red hair, he placed a hand on your head and gently ruffled your hair. your eyes gleamed as you looked up at him, watching as he turned to rin, whispering about something.

suddenly, rin let out a shout as his face went bright red, sae looking at him with a smug grin. at the time, you had no clue what was going on. but now, you know it was sae helping push along the future, unintentionally. 

“y/n, you wanna come over for dinner?” sae said it so nonchalantly while rin was off to the side with his face buried in his palms. you couldn’t help but nod, not a word slipping past your lips. maybe you were still starstruck, but more likely it was due to the flushed boy who walked beside you while taking you hand in his.

ever since, you and rin were inseparable. you were there just about every moment he could recall in his childhood, the same could be said for you with him. 

when rin too began to play soccer, you were with him all the way. whether it be helping him practice, bringing him snacks when he stayed out a little too late, and cheering him on. it wasn’t as fun without rin holding your hand when you watched the game, but you didn’t care. he was so happy playing with his brother that any sadness melted away.

and when sae left to pursue his career in spain, you were right next to rin. you cried with him, crystalline tears dripped down your cheeks while you cupped his face to wipe his. 

“y/n, promise you’ll never leave me.” his hands reached to hold your shoulders, so he could look at you. tears unshed laid along his waterline, kept in by his long lashes. his eyes were like polished gemstones.

“not for the world, rinnie!” your mouth displayed a wobbly grin as your palms still rested against his cheeks. on this day, when you and rin were reaching towards twelve years old: was the first time he told you he loved you.

“i love you, so never go, okay?” you were sure you had the most dumbstruck look on your face then, tears welling again; this time in happiness. the wobbly grin became a beaming smile as your hands left his face, opting to wrap your arms around his neck instead. the sudden weight imbalance sent rin tumbling to the ground beneath you, but you didn’t care. his arms wound around your back as his face buried in your neck.

“i love you too rinnie!” this time, him holding your hand as he dragged you around had a lot more meaning. watching him play soccer had a lot more meaning. his turquoise eyes held a lot more meaning.

two years later, rin played in the finals for his prefectural soccer tournament. the score was currently 2-1, in his team's favor. rin was racing towards the goal, ball in his possession. he effortlessly dribbled around defender after defender.

despite his teammates practically begging for him to pass, rin would not, he didn’t need to. ever since sae had left, rin became his replacement. playing the soccer of two brothers alone, and pulling it off nearly seamlessly.

if it was up to rin, he didn’t need a team. he would only ever truly play with one person: his brother. 

rin bluffed a shot, grinning as the goalie jumped for a ball that wasn’t there. he reeled his leg back and fired like a cannon, the ball sinking deep into the center of the net.

the crowd went wild, everyone cheered as the game ended, rin’s team won 3-1, all goals being scored by him. cameras flashed, rin’s face split in a bright grin as he shouted, being swamped by his teammates. rin ran past them to the sidelines, where you stood, waiting with nothing but pure admiration in your eyes.

he wiped his face with his sleeve as he came to a stop in front of you, heavy breaths fanning across your face. you cupped his face and smiled, feeling the warmth of his skin against your fingertips.

“good job rinnie, ‘m so proud of you.”

rin’s eyes widened as a flush overtook his face, one from something other than exertion. his eyes softened as one of his hands cupped your own cheek, smiling softly as you leaned into his touch; like how a flower leans towards the light.

“love you, so so much…” rin’s gaze had your heart filled with butterflies, your face growing hot as you mumbled out a soft ‘love you too’.

his face inched closer, none brushing against yours. your hands slipped off his cheeks to rest against his chest: which rose and fell rapidly beneath his jersey. he stilled, breath fanning against your lips as his eyes studied your face.

when you and rin were just fourteen years old, he kissed you for the very first time.

“jus’ kiss me already rin…”

he did so, pressing his lips softly against yours as your eyes fluttered shut. his hand felt the warmth that seeped from your cheek, he was so close you could feel his lashes flutter against your skin.

when you two separated, you ignored the flashing and clicking of camera shutters. the shouts of the crowd and the teases of his teammates fell on deaf ears. all you knew was rin itoshi at that moment, and all he knew was y/n l/n.

but your time with itoshi rin was limited, and yet again, things were set in motion by itoshi sae.

two more years later, you sit against the turf as rin shoots off some strikes. the fake grass slid between your fingers as you babbled about how cool his game-winning goal was that day.

snow began to gently fall from the sky, you shivered and watched as your breath fanned in front of you.

as rin shot again, you noticed the man that stood behind the two of you. sae.

“wasn't that shot a bit shoddy?” sae came into view as a shiver crawled up your spine, he looked so dead. rin spun around with a smile to greet his brother, only to pause for the same reason. 

you rose to your feet to stand beside rin, your hand clasping his. you didn’t know what had happened, but you could tell that something was incredibly off with sae. what had happened in spain?

the brothers began to idly chat, but your unease just grew with every word that came out of the older itoshi’s mouth.

“instead of becoming the best striker, i will become the best midfielder in the world.” rin’s eyes went blank as his hand tightened around yours, his being shook for a moment. you felt your brows furrow as you stared at sae, confused.

“huh… what’re you? you’re a striker right? what’s the point of becoming the best at something other than that..?” rin’s breath fanned in plumes in front of him, sweat dripping down the side of his cheeks despite the biting cold.

“..shut up. you’re only saying that because you don’t know the world.”

rin’s teeth grit as his jaw ticked. he let go of your hand, letting it fall; cold nipping as soon as it left his own gloved one. his eyes were wide in shock, you felt your lips purse as you watched the contortion of his pained expression.

“what the hell… don’t just decide on your own like that! you sae we were going to fight together, right…? you told me to become the best after you!”

you didn’t hear what sae had answered, too focused on the heartbreak that displayed in those turquoise eyes you loved so deeply.

“i don’t want that! i’m the younger brother of the world’s best striker!” rin shouted, he poured his heart out to sae’s cold gaze. 

the flurried snow began to feel a lot colder. 

“did you come back here to spout those pathetic things?! i didn’t want to see you like this! you…”

“rinnie, stop.” you tugged on his sleeve, but he didn’t notice. you knew he was about to say something he’d regret. something that would ruin their relationship. sae was the most important person in rin’s life, this you knew.

“you’re not the same brother… i shared a dream with !!” sae’s eyes had some life returned to them for the briefest moment. for the smallest moment you saw regret in those cold eyes, but then it was all gone.

“how lukewarm.” you stepped back as sae took a ball, feeling tears well in your eyes. 

you had known the itoshi brothers for the last eight years of your life. never once did they fight, sure they argued and bantered, but this was a falling-out. this was a family matter, one you did not dare to intervene in, lest you make it worse. you had stopped listening, only tuning back in now.

“but if i win… your and my dream ends right here.”

rin’s gaze hardened at the acclaim that his brother made. “what the heck? our dream will be over if i lose? you can’t just decide that on your own, big brother…”

“that’s why, all you have to do is win, and then i’ll believe in it again.”

“don’t joke around! that’s…”

“let’s go rin.”

sae’s eyes were dead, you wondered when the light in him had died. but as he charged forwards you knew that rin would be overcome. in a way, there was no way he could win. rin respected sae far too much to truly be able to fight against him. even though he said that this wasn’t the same sae earlier, in his heart he was still his beloved big brother. and in his heart, his beloved big brother is the best striker in the whole-wide world.

“rin, in the four years i’ve been away, what have you been doing here?” your eyes widened as just like that the ball was secured deep into the net, rin now on his knees.

“wait… big brother. after you went away i… i did my best… to become the best in japan/// and then get scouted like you did.” 

you sunk down next to rin, not touching him. you sat and listened as he desperately begged for sae to reconsider. your cheeks were wet as you watched the despondency of the boy you had loved since the tender age of eight.

“then fucking quit. you’re lukewarm. did you want me to console you or something? dumbass.” 

your mouth fell open as sae looked down at rin like he was scum on the bottom of his shoe. the ringing in your ears loudened, only able to hear your rapid heartbeat as you watched your childhood idol tear into the one person you loved in this world, like it was nothing.

“but to me, you’re just an eyesore of an annoying younger brother. and you’re wasting your time with y/n, they’ll hold you back from your dreams.” now, your tears were flowing freely down your cheeks as he looked at you too with such disgust.

this pain that curled in the core of your being was nothing compared to the heart-shattering grief that coursed through rin’s veins as he watched his beloved big brother walk away; suitcase in tow.

“get lost rin. you’re not necessary in my life anymore.”

“big… brother…”

rin’s lip wobbled as he just at there, staring down at the ground. tears began to fall down his cheeks as you sniffled next to him. maybe sae was right, you probably were a waste of rin’s time.

you and rin went back to his house, sitting silently on his bed as the tv displayed sae. he clicked it off immediately, bringing his knees closer to his chest.

suddenly he began to tear apart his room, destroying every trophy and picture of him and sae. you just watched blankly, not wanting to overstep. he was so incredibly angry and you couldn’t blame him. his teeth grit as he stared ahead with such pure, undistilled rage that it made you fearful.

rin itoshi was never the same after his brother broke his heart.

soon, he received a letter in the mail, for some sort of training camp called blue lock. you knew he was going, without hesitation.

“congratulations, rinnie.” his eyes flickered to you, that turquoise that you had loved for eight years now were hollow. eerily similar to sae’s on the day that he broke his younger brother. rin was never the same.

“it’s expected, this place better not be lukewarm.”

“i’ll miss ya, y’know”

he didn’t answer, just clicking his tongue as looking away. that was the first time that itoshi rin broke your heart. at the age of sixteen, he left you too, despite making you swear that you wouldn’t leave him.

not much longer later, rin itoshi broke your heart for a second time, after the match between blue lock and the japanese u-20 team. after the game, you went to see him in the locker rooms. you came in and saw him sitting silently with a towel over his head.

when you sat beside him, he didn’t acknowledge you. you silently rested your head on his shoulder, just happy to be near him after being apart for so long.

“you did great, ‘m so proud of you rinnie.”

“you’re lukewarm, don’t give me worthless praise for a shoddy performance. even now… i couldn’t beat him.”

your eyes widened, feeling tears begin to well up in your eyes. you blinked them away, knowing that he was hurting. you sighed and remained next to him. you knew that he didn’t mean it.

rin was freed from blue lock for two weeks after that, of which; you only saw him once. that was the third and final time rin itoshi broke your heart.

you invited him to come to a cafe with you, wanting just to see him. he agreed, now sitting in front of you while you talked about something that you forgot. you didn’t remember much about what had happened prior, only the pain you felt.

“let’s break up,” his words were so sudden, taking you completely off guard. 

“w-what… rin, what?”

“you’re holding me back, i need to leave you to progress in soccer.”

in that moment, you were drawn back to the day that sae broke rin’s heart, the day he said words that were echoing now in your mind. tears flowed freely down your cheeks as rin stood and left.

now you know the pain rin felt that day, when his world died. but unlike him, you weren’t angry. you had come to peace with this future when sae uttered it, knowing that one day it would become an inevitable truth.

because rin itoshi was always following in his beloved big brother’s footsteps, even if he knew it or not.

okkotsuus 23

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk angst #blue lock angst #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #bllk rin #blue lock rin #itoshi rin angst #rin angst #itoshi #sae #itoshi sae

[koiir]

All too well

In which he ends the relationship for the better

Pairing: Rin itoshi x gn!reader

Genre: angst with no comfort

Cw: crying, mild swearing, not proofread, rushed, break ups

The rain made it’s presence known by disturbing his sleep, Rin couldn’t be at peace. Now or ever. It’s been over an hour of him trying to rest, yet his thoughts kept him up. It’s been this way for weeks, every since he last saw his brother. When his dream, his hope, was crushed by the one who he thought would stay by his side.

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up

It’s over. His mindset stayed like that, no context needed for him to know what that meant. History would repeat itself, by one getting hurt and the other moving on. With a dream. Rin always thought that in the end, it would be you and him. But he knew he was ruining the chances of that becoming a reality. Rin had always held a spot for you in heart, which is why he kept going. Even when his brother left he still had you by his side, his one and only. The one he loved unlike anything else. Which is why he knows that the relationship is only going to hurt you, more if he hasn’t already.

Running scared, I was there I remember it all too well

It’s his fault, Rin knows that. He’s been more blunt and more distant, mumbling short responses to you, not paying you the attention you need, it’s all because he’s become broken. He became the problem. Rin has always been fragile, which is why you gave it your all the love him. Gave everything you had, in order to heal him. And it worked, until sad shattered what you had fixed. Now rin was experiencing the aftermath of it, you could try again, to fix what had been broken, but that would be a waste. A waste of your time, trying to heal someone who wouldn’t give in. Even if Rin loved you, he knew he would only break your heart as time went on. Which is why he had to end it. In order to keep you safe from his heartbreak later on.

You awake?

He sent the text knowing in fact you would be awake, reading or up on your phone or not being able to fall asleep peacefully. Rin knows that recently it’s been hard falling asleep, he would often try to help. Now he would only be adding to the problem.

Yea, reading as a matter of fact

Can’t sleep either rin? Something up?

His heart thumped, his fingers soon trembling realizing this would be the last time you two talked. The last words he would tell you before he pushed you away.

I’m breaking up with you [name]

Once he hit send, rin pushed his phone away not daring to see what you would say next. He could see the scene playing in his mind, you seeing the text, staring at it wondering what was real. You would stare at it, thoughts consuming your mind until tears started to fall.

And you call me up just to break me like a promise

Rin?

Why? Why all the sudden?

Rin, please can we talk this out? If it’s space you need I’ll give it to you. I know it’s been hard recently for you, but please one last chance for us to talk?

He saw the light from his phone, a notification from you. He knew that, which is why he didn’t grab his phone. He wanted to escape. He wanted to run away from this reality. The feeling ate rin alive, he couldn’t handle it even for a minute. He checked your messages, wishing he hadn’t.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, rin couldn’t handle this. He wondered if things would have gone different if he had told you in person. He knew it would. Which is why he didn’t, he wanted to hide his feelings through the screen in front of him. He knew you were better off with someone who could thoroughly communicate with you, someone who wouldn’t chain you down. He knew you were trying, so hard for him. He knew that if he didn’t end this you would be broken by the end of it.

We’re over name

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

He didn’t have to say more, he knew you would understand. This fact hurt him, tears threatening to spill. He sat up, he couldn’t bear to stay in the confines of his room any longer. Rin looked out the window, the rain still there. Falling down his window, Mimicking the way tears fell down the face of the once lovers.

Cause I remember it all, all, all, too well

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk angst #blue lock angst #bllk rin #rin itoshi #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #bllk fanfic #bllk imagines #bllk scenarios #rin imagines #rin angst #blue lock rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi angst #rin itoshi x y/n #rin itoshi x you #itoshi rin angst #rin x reader #rin x you #rin x y/n #koiir writes

[diluxama]

itoshi rin

angst

fem reader - she/her prns

song insp heather by conan gray

idea insp by operation: true love

cw: cheating

"rin, this isn't gonna worrkkk," she said as she trailed behind him and whining, walking through the empty school halls. "isagi isn't even batting an eye at me anymore!"

rin stopped himself as she bumped into his back, "ow! at least tell me you were gonna stop!" rin turned around and gave her a look, "keep down a bit, would you?"

she looks up at him and grimaced. rin let out a huff and pulled her into an empty classroom. the same classroom where she overheard isagi's conversation about not ever wanting to kiss her. the same classroom where she caught isagi and her best friend kissing.

she looked at rin, "what's this for?"

rin said nothing and slowly make an advance towards her. in response, she retreated slowly until she felt a table behind her.

rin put his hands on both her sides, caging her and leaning in. she started to feel nervous, "h-hey, what are you doing..?"

rin tucked a hair strand behind her ear and leaned in, "what was it that you heard isagi say to your friend here?"

she avoids eye contact with him and stuttered, "t-that he'll never kiss me.. and anyone wouldn't want to kiss someone like me..." her face was beet red at this point.

he smiled, "i can change that."

he leaned in and closed the gap between himself and her.

♪♪♪ —

she should've known. it was only out of pity. she should've known that rin didn't actually like her. deep in his heart, he still loves her best friend. he was merely kissing her for show; to win back the heart of the girl he likes.

isagi is now nowhere to be seen, and she's watching rin and her best friend kissing at a playground. she doesn't like this. she doesn't want this. she turned around and took off with tears in her eyes.

'why would he ever kiss me?'

#blue lock angst #blue lock x reader #bllk angst #bllk x reader #rin #itoshi rin #rin angst #itoshi rin angst #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi angst #i still don't know what i'm writing pls be nice #[kay's writing !!!]

[k1yamaluvskaiser]

rin itoshi angst drabble ── 1:06PM ; 05.09.23

rin itoshi angst where he breaks up with you a little after the U-20 vs BLLK match because he's completely thrown any concern for anything else other than beating sae and isagi out the window

once the players have their month off and away from blue lock, you're ready to welcome him back home, but he pays you no mind and instead completely ignores your existence to isolate in his room and silently play soccer alone in his backyard

you stay patient and give him space, but once you notice that he's starting to overwork himself, that's when you decide to step in

a nasty argument instigates when you confront rin and gently remind him to take it easy now that he's finally gotten a break from blue lock, but he completely snaps

rin tells you that he doesn't need you— that you're just a mere pest in his life and that he wished he hadn't wasted his precious time that he could've spent training to surpass his brother, on you

── lord, i love angst so much.

#blue lock #bllk #rin #rin itoshi #angst #rin angst #rin itoshi angst #sae itoshi angst #rin itoshi blue lock #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi x reader angst

[mitsuyaya]

[ denouement ] itoshi rin

♡ contains: 717 words. angst, breakup

♡ summary: it's foolish to think that everything could last because everything has an end, just like your relationship with rin.

listen :) | triple treat masterlist

your relationship with rin hasn't always been this frustrating.

it wasn't always shrouded with anger, silence, indifference, exhaustion–it wasn't like an abandoned home. the relationship you had before reminds you of a glasshouse, filled with delicate flowers, lively trees, embellished with such fancy decorations.

but the longer you stare, at him, at the house you shared, the harder it is to find that very glasshouse.

at times, you feel like the center of everyone's attention, compliments were thrown from all directions, a paragon of a picture perfect couple that could withstand even the deadliest of calamity.

and naively, you believe them. you believe that in every argument, a little comfort could mend it. in every misunderstanding, an apology could fix it. and in every agonizing word, swallowing it would be the best possible solution.

there were moments you couldn't forget, times where rin would show you just how much he loves you. greets you when he gets home, places a loving kiss on your lips as he bids you goodbye, whispers sweet words of confession as he drifts off to sleep—but it all crumbles, lost within the pits of the past.

as the relationship gradually reaches its ending, you could feel the change in his aura.

his usual affectionate demeanor was nowhere to be seen, morphed into something aching to an uncaring stranger. the warmth in his embrace disappeared, it feels like the gush of wind during the winter season, cold, frigid.

the sparks in his eyes that used to be blooming with love and delight were gone, no matter how long you search for it, it's futile—he's already gone, the rin you used to love is gone.

the delicate glasshouse you used to cherish becomes old, rundown, filled with pests and withering plants—a sign that it's insoluble. still, you hold on to its entrance, you hold on to rin’s heart despite seeing the obvious look on his face.

your heart pounds; in anger, sorrow, desperation, eyes fixated on his figure. you watched with glassy eyes as his jaw clenched, one hand massaging his temples—it's a look that he's about to lose every single fiber of his patience, with this relationship, with you. at this point you should've been quiet.

“what happened? why did you change rin?”

but the words just easily slipped out of your lips, wanting to break free and be answered. the question lingers in the air, and with every passing second it makes you regret even asking him, it becomes much worse the moment you search for his reaction, his response.

“i fell out of love” it stings, like acid permeating your skin. “I just- I don't know, it's just one day I realized that I'm not in love with you like I used to.” it becomes more unbearable with every syllable he speaks.

it's difficult to remain standing at this point, like your knees would give up any second, but it's even harder to look at the face of the man you love with all of your heart. you turned your back, swallowing the excruciating lump in your throat before you spoke up one last time.

“let’s break up” rin freezes in his spot, lets you leave the apartment, lets you leave the glasshouse that was once your relationship, it was the last thing you saw, a lukewarm expression–something that didn't surprise you.

you would've told him a lot of things, cursed him to satiate your anger, asked him for explanations but you couldn't, you don't want to. it's not like asking him would change anything; it's not like his answers could fix your already broken relationship.

escaping from this heartbreaking situation is the only option you have.

the outdoor breeze didn't faze you, not when the only thing you could register is the shattering of your heart, the moments during the breakup replaying in your mind and the tears that cascaded in your cheeks as you trudge your feet further away from the house you both shared.

you were wrong to think that the love he has for you would remain for the longest of time, to think that your relationship is as resilient as they make it out to be.

because now, like how the glasshouse you used to treasure crumbles, your relationship with rin, has finally reached its ending.

#🍫. triple treat #bllk angst #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk imagines #bllk scenarios #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock angst #blue lock imagines #blue lock scenarios #itoshi x reader #itoshi angst #itoshi scenarios #itoshi imagines #rin x reader #rin angst #rin imagines #rin scenarios #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin angst #itoshi rin imagines #itoshi rin scenarios

[hitorinorin]

The sun hung low on the horizon, painting the beach in a warm, golden hue. As gentle waves kissed the shore, you sat together on a cozy picnic blanket, while Rin strummed his acoustic guitar. Although you both stood on the precipice of adulthood, teenagers on the verge of assuming life's weighty responsibilities, in this moment, you and Rin were nothing more than carefree kids.

Building sandcastles, serenading each other with songs, laughing at the tiniest of things, and declaring your love every five minutes—this slice of time felt perfect and eternal.

Yet, the relentless march of adulthood loomed, reminding you of life's fleeting nature. You watched Rin, lost in thought as he stared at the sunset. Bathed in the sun's warm, golden glow, his silhouette etched against the fading light, he appeared almost otherworldly. The world itself seemed to pause, acknowledging the transient beauty of the scene—a poignant reminder that even the most enchanting moments must yield to the passage of time.

"What are you looking at, idiot?" the young Itoshi asked.

"Nothing, don't mind me. I'm just… savoring this moment while it lasts," you replied.

You anticipated Rin would shift his gaze and dismiss your sentiment. However, you were taken aback when you noticed glistening tears in your lover's eyes. He wasn't one to openly display emotion, but your words had stirred within him an awareness of the limited time you had left together.

Upon learning of your impending move to another country, Rin had initially reacted with anger, but beneath that anger simmered fear and sadness. It was as if something raged within his heart, and the storm clouds of uncertainty threatened to overshadow your profound love for each other. Unable to alter your decision, he bottled up these futile feelings until they became too much. He cried in front of you.

He wept in front of the person he loved and cherished deeply—a vulnerability he seldom revealed. In that moment, he allowed his true emotions to surface without restraint.

"Rin, I'm sorry," you said, tears streaming down your face.

"Don't be. It's too late. Just do me a favor, okay?" he responded.

"Chase your dreams for me, and I'll chase mine for you. This won't be the last time we meet, I promise. I'll find you, even if you've disappeared from the face of the Earth. My heart will always find its way back to you. So please, just be happy, even if it's without me."

"Rin, be happy for me too, please. I don't care if it's with another woman, as long as she makes you feel happy and free. I'm okay with that. Find a good woman for me; I love you."

"That's nonsense," he thought.

Why were you telling him to find someone else when that person was right in front of him? But the words remained unspoken, lost in a sea of unexpressed desires and unshed tears, as the sun dipped below the horizon, marking the end of a perfect yet bittersweet day.

Your summers together might have temporarily come to an end, but the magical hymn of your voice remains echoing inside his heart. You will come back to him, and his heart will come back to you. As the day comes to an end, he himself knows that his ultimate freedom will forever be found in your arms.

© hitorinorin | do not plagiarize!

#itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin x reader #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #itoshi rin x you #rin itoshi x you #bllk x you #itoshi fluff #rin angst #bllk x f!reader #rin itoshi angst #bllk angst #blue lock angst #vyn's vinyls 📼

[luvingshidou]

SAE U FUCKING BASTARDDADDAD FUCK UUUUU HES UR BROTHER LIKEEE WAHT WRONG WITH U 😒😒😒 YOU HEARTLESS DICKKK

(i bawled my eyes out when I read this chapter for the first time🙁🙁🙁 ik like spain changed sae and shit but man fuck u sae☹️☹️)

#rants!! #bllk #blue lock #bllk sae #sae itoshi #bllk rin #rin itoshi #rin angst #sae angst #bllk angst #fuck u sae u dickhead

[lovemaiyo-main]

2 . while i’m still standing at the exit | r. itoshi

adressed. my part of "the exit" collab with @itoshyui. warnings. angst no comfort, mentions of terminal illness at the end.

rin itoshi wasn't perfect. he knew at least that much. he knew that he would always be second to his brother. he would always be sae itoshi's brother, never rin itoshi. never the rin itoshi that had feelings or had dreams, never the rin who liked to birdwatch and have picnics, never the rinnie who only held one person so, so close to his heart.

maybe when he was younger he would've been mad. he would've been mad to have been remembered as the football prodigy's younger brother, not the football prodigy himself. but now he had you. something that finally, finally his brother didn't have. and when it came to that, he was proud to be known as your lover.

because you had promised him forever. you had promised him the heavens and the skies beneath. of all the things in the world, you preferred the simple earthly pleasures of just lying beside him, admiring him, listening to him talk, talking to him. and maybe that was why. was it because he took, he took and took but never gave? that couldn't be the case, he dedicated every walking living breathing moment to you.

were you tired? were you tired of him?

why did you go back on your word? what happened to the hushed late night talks of happily married life and gardens and children and dogs and cats and bakeries and cafes? he knew something was wrong from the way you looked at him. the spark in your eyes had faded, replaced by a long forgone look that he couldn't understand. why? you had been so happy together, once upon a time, your love a bright flame and him a moth, drawn to you. but now, it seemed as though that flame had been extinguished, leaving behind only the smoldering ashes of what your love for him used to be.

and rin itoshi couldn't lose the one thing he ever even had. so he tried. he tried to reach out, to pull you back. you were just like a daydream, just out of reach. he rememered the way you would smile at him. so genuinely sweet, like you were happy to see him. HIM, not rin itoshi, but rinnie. you still smile, but it's a sad, tired smile, disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther.

oh no, please don't smile at him like that. it kills him, it kills him every single time. do you not want to be near him? your touch, once filled with all the longing in the world, was now distant and cool, as if you was already halfway gone, as if the only thing he had ever come to love, the only thing in his life that had ever come to stay, was already gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

days passed, nights became colder and longer, and still rin itoshi couldn't understand what had gone wrong. was it something he had said? something he had done? had he not been enough for you, somehow? he didn't know how to let you go, how to walk away from the only love he had ever known.

but it seemed like you didn't care. was he just a passing moment in your life? maybe one day, when you had your own children, as you sit on a couch and read them a story, you would remember of your first love and how on a couch just as similar as this one, once many years ago, you had watched countless movies and shared countless kisses, and one day when you picked up a cake for your child in a bakery, you would remember, how under the covers, you and rin itoshi had shared dreams with eachother, and he had promised, one day, when you got married he would build you a little bakery in the corner of a nameless town and you would start anew, away from all the expectations of football and your schoolwork and everything else. and when you buy a house for the first time, he hopes you'll remember sketching a little cottage with a garden with him, describing and planning your dream house instead of doing your homework.

but it didn't seem like you cared, so that's why he didn't tell you how, one day at practice, he had collapsed randomly. he didn't tell you how, when he sat in that chair across from his doctor, her expression solemn, rin itoshi felt nothing.

maybe it was his fault. to fill your head up with these dreams of having a little family and moving to an unnamed town in the middle of nowhere, he started to believe it himself. he started to believe he could have nice things and the ghosts of his brother and his past wouldn't loom around him.

but alas, time is the most unforgiving of fires, and everything, every luxury, every sorrow he and you shared will come to pass.

and maybe, just maybe, by letting him go yourself, you were doing him and yourself a big favour.

#⛸ collab #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #bllk #itoshi rin #rin bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin angst #rin itoshi angst #blue lock angst