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jinkookspencil · 7 months

Text

like couples do | knj

you run out of period products at dawn, and there's only one person who's up....

description/tags: namjoon drabble / fwb to lovers / fluff / but mentions the fact that namjoon and reader had unprotected sex (don't do this) and reader is relieved to get her period afterwards / so obviously mentions of period and blood / maybe a bit angsty? / been busy and been working on a request! but it's been a while since i wrote namjoon and, gosh, i love writing for him even though whatever comes to me for him is usually the most random bursts and ideas, like this one i thought of last night / let me know what you think <3

wc: ~1.6k words

Your gasp pulls you from heaven to hell.

Extracted from your dream, you’re out of the covers in a flash, dazed as you try to meet your reality. The room was sweltering despite autumn settling in and the fan whizzing away in your room as it always did. The sound you’d grown so accustomed to only made it harder to think, but you didn’t have to. The wet pools at your back and around your body suddenly made themselves known, with your black pajama top sticking to your sweaty skin. With a quick change into a tank top and a sip of cold water, you were ready to escape into a dreamland, far from the hellhole that had been your bedroom...

Only to be met with a small pool of a different kind when you pull away the blanket.

Fuck.

Quickly feeling between your thighs confirmed it - you bled through your shorts.

Well, at least it’s here, you think, your heart settling after days worrying about the sudden delay in your cycle. After all, Namjoon hadn’t used any protection…

It was hard to put away the mental image of him once you were in the bathroom, remembering that one time he had you propped up on the cabinet, but looking through it now, the panic returns. You were all out of pads and tampons.

This is why people have roommates. Or stupidly organized Virgo boyfriends, you think, cursing yourself while rummaging through every drawer, cupboard, and overnight bag without finding a single tampon for the evening.

The minutes spent on your phone were quick to squash any more of your hopes - the delivery service app had been shut down for the night after some seemingly catastrophic bug on their end, and your female friends who lived nearby hadn't answered your texts and calls, as expected at this time of day.

Reading the time on your phone, you knew one person who would definitely be up. The person who always showed up. The man worked ridiculous hours, following his ‘late-night creativity’… unless the universe really wanted to torture you and, for the very first time, he’d be asleep as well.

You consider running to the convenience store, double layering your bottoms with black fabrics, and taking a scooter... only for a stinging cramp to shock you at your lower back.

He had to answer.

to: joon 🌒[3:58am] - hi are you up?

to: joon🌒 [3:58am] - text asap please it’s urgent

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - yes i’m up. are you okay y/n?

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - i’m finally done with work for the night.

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - are you okay? i’ll call as soon as i’m out of the building.

to: joon🌒 [4:02am] - don’t call i’m embarrassed to say this to you out loud plus i'm in pain

to: joon 🌒 [4:02am] - can you get me some pads and tampons? i got my period (aka the pain) and i’m all out so….

to: joon🌒 [4:02am] - i need em and i can’t get em

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - y/n of course. phew i thought this was going in literally the complete opposite way considering…

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - anyways, aren’t we past embarrassment? never feel that when it comes to me please.

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - safe space just for us, remember?

to: joon🌒 [4:04am] - yes :) thanks joon

to: y/n🍀 [4:04am] - :) getting on my bike now. i’ll be there in 10.

to: y/n🍀 [4:04am] - the sky’s starting to change colors. look outside, pretty :) (1 image attached)

The knock, though expected, jolts you enough for your new bedsheet to spring away from your grasp once again. Frustrated, a groan escapes you as you walk to your front door, tightening the robe that covered your body and stained shorts.

“Sorry I’m late,” Namjoon giggles at the door, seeing your furrowed expression. “Oh, you’re most definitely on your period, huh?”

“Get in here and shut up,” you groan once more, letting him in. All too familiar with your place, he unpacks one of the bags in his hand, carefully displaying an array of period products on the nearest table.

“I’m surprised you didn’t send a photo and ask me to choose one,” you say, grabbing one of the boxes.

“I… I grabbed everything in the aisle without thinking. Shit, I should’ve sent a photo, right? Are these not good enough? Are they the wrong size? Will they fit your....? I can go to another convenience store,” he murmurs, head tilted down as he surveys the products before you.

“No, Namjoon, honey, the photo is just a thing boyfriends tend to do when they’re asked to get period products. You asked the same size and fit question, though,” you laugh before quickly realizing you compared his actions to that of a boyfriend. Something he most definitely was not.

“I lived in a dorm full of boys, how was I supposed to know?” he says, scratching his head.

“These are perfect, and I’m stocked for at least the next three months. Thank you, Joonie,” you say, squeezing his arm.

“Anytime, Y/N,” he replies quietly, pulling you closer to him so he can kiss your forehead. It only hits you both when your hand is rubbing at his back in his embrace, and it takes even longer to break away than it did to realize the situation.

Something shifts in Namjoon’s gaze when he sees you emerge from the bathroom in new pyjama shorts. “Cute PJ’s. I’m not used to seeing them on you for more than five seconds.”

“Enjoy the show, then,” you quip, plopping down next to him on the couch and extending your legs over his lap. You hadn’t really meant it as a command, but can’t help but smile catching the fact that Namjoon had obeyed. His fingers draw mindless circles at your ankles as his gaze travels upwards. Minutes are spent in silence, eyeing your thighs with intent before his eyes rest on your exposed clavicle. His circles stop, gripping your ankle and noting the undeniable rise and fall of your breathing and breasts, swollen and tender against your thin cotton tank top.

“Oh,” he finally says with a cough, breaking the silence and raising his brows. “I almost forgot. I thought you might need these.”

Leaning forward, Namjoon dumps the entire contents of the second plastic bag onto your hard coffee table. Small, colorful circles bounce off of it and onto the floor, long bars land with a thud, and instantly recognizable plastic packages are cushioned by its contents.

“Oh, Joon. I do. I do fucking need this,” you let out, almost as a moan. “You already know what I want.”

Smiling, he tears open a plastic packet of your favorite chocolate-flavored bread and another for himself. The time spent biting and savoring the pillowy snack was heavenly in the comfortable silence -save for the birds that begin to chirp from somewhere outside your window.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten the sticker,” you say, handing Namjoon the tiny square envelope in your now-empty plastic packaging. He’s quick to grab it from your hands, giddy to see whatever Pokemon character was inside.

"Take mine, too," he says, handing you his square, with an illustration of a pink, deer-like creature - not at all like the Pokemon he usually mentioned.

"Oh, she’s pretty!”

"Exactly..." he says. "Deerling, that's her name. She's a new favorite of mine, actually. Her colors change based on the different seasons in the year... and when she evolves, her deer form's antlers are basically how branches are decorated in nature: budding flowers and leaves for spring, greenery for summer, you get the picture. She's the only one that truly encapsulates the beauty of our world..."

"All that for a Pokemon? I'm jealous," you tease, but he doesn't laugh, quietly opening the envelope you'd handed to him.

“Yes!” he cheers. “I don’t have this one yet - Moltres. Ah, you really are my good luck charm, huh?"

"Am I? I guess you should keep me around, then, huh?" you say, leaning back on the couch and poking his shoulder.

"That's the plan," Namjoon says, his eyes still thoughtfully fixated on the sticker he fiddled with, but only for a moment. “Uhm… I… we… should probably get some sleep, huh? I should probably…go. Uhm, should I?”

“Do you want to go?” you ask, feeling a tightening in your chest at the thought. Just like all those nights in bed, it was too comfortable to remember that this wasn't your entire reality but stolen, secret time. Always, one found themselves reminding the other to snap back to reality. It was beautifully torturous, just as you two had liked it for so long… until it began to sink in that the beauty could stand on its own…. if only one of you had the courage.

“….No. No I don’t really want to go, Y/N. But if you want me to….”

“I don’t want you to,” you interrupt, nudging his fingertip with yours right over your knees until your hands are intertwined. “I mean someone has to help me fit that stupid sheet onto the bed... and you're quite familiar with my sheets."

“I am,” he smiles, nodding to himself and squeezing your hand with his.

“Then we can get in… and just go to sleep… or cuddle,” you wonder, feeling Namjoon's soft hand under yours.

“Like couples do?” Namjoon asks, finally meeting your gaze for the first time that night.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m thinking like couples do,” you whisper, your breath hitching on the words that spoke your once unthinkable, far-fetched desire while looking at it right in the eyes.

“Me too,” he smiles, bringing your hand up to kiss it and rest it at his dimples. “Like couples it is then.”

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raplinesprince · 7 months

Text

Slow Dancing | KNJ

Pairing: Boyfriend!Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Unspecified

Synopsis: A simple slow dance with your favourite human.

WC: 718

Posted: 15 September 2023

You sleepily rub your eyes still dazed from sleep, snuggling further into your boyfriends arms who was still wide awake finishing a book ‘he just couldn’t put down’.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He asks in his rough honey tone.

"I had a thought today and it's playing on my mind."

"Go on.."

“I want to slow dance.”

His lips curl into a small smile, chuckling softly. "You can't sleep because you want to slow dance?"

“Yup.” You flutter your eyelashes with a soft pout on your lips. It always gets you what you want from Joon.

A smile breaks out on his face, his eyes softly looking back at you, “What time is it?”

You glance at your phone, suddenly feeling guilty realising the time and your odd request.

“It’s 12:09.”

“What song?”

"You know that song It's Been A Long Long Time?"

“Aish, from Endgame? You've been spending to much time with JK.”

"Would you prefer me to ask him?"

He instantly bolts up out of bed, book flying across the bedroom, offering you his hand, “Can I have this dance?”

You can’t help the giant smile that grows on your face, literally jumping out of bed and grab his hand. Namjoon pulls you into his arms, one hand intertwining with yours, bringing in close to his chest, the other resting on the small of your back. You slip your free arm around his waist while smooshing your face into his pillow like peck. The two of you gently sway to the music, in solitude in each others arms, the world around you completely melting away, the whole world at a stand still except the two of you.

You look up to Namjoon who was already looking down at you with a soft smile on his lips, disbelief washing over you that this man is yours. Feeling so incredibly lucky that he choose you. Was lucky even the right word? You didn't know if it was enough to express how incredibly surreal it felt that you got to call him yours. No words feel adequate enough to express your love and gratitude.

If only you knew he was thinking the exact same thing. His love, his baby, his everything. Absolutely, undeniably, unequivocally in love with you.

‘It's good practice’ He whispers as softly as he could before he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, nose then lips, letting his lips linger before turning to rest his face on top your head as you leaned yours back against his chest.

Too peaceful in that moment to realise the full extent of what he'd just implied, you softly hum in response, getting lost in the sound of his steady heartbeat and warmth of his bare chest.

The song started to fade and you felt Namjoon shift, reaching for his phone to pick another song, you presumed. You were beyond lost in your own world at this point to even care what was happening around you.

K. by Cigarettes After Sex started playing.

The melody made you feel sleepy, so you held him that little bit tighter and he followed suit, lifting you gently onto his feet so you could still dance with him but he was doing most.. well... all of the work. Not that he minded. He was enjoying the moment more than he ever thought he would. Having you practically molded to him, letting the music take you both far away from the busy life's you both lead. It was in moments you shared like this he knew he found the right one. His forever.

"And I'm kissing you lying in my room, holding you until you fall asleep and it's just as good as I knew it would be stay with me, I don't want you to leave" He sang in a soft whisper, just loud enough for you to hear.

Your heart flutters and butterflies fill your stomach, a smile pulling on the corners of your lips, enjoying the rare moment that Namjoon sings, without acting like he can't.

Love didn't get any better than this.

At least, not yet.

Authors Note: In honour of Namjoon saying it's his favourite song from Layover. Thank you @lifeinakpopbubble for proof reading and helping me with song ideas!

Tagging: @sopebubbles-reads

#kim namjoon #namjoon fic #rm fic #rm fanfiction #namjoon fanfic #bts fanfic #bts #namjoon #RM #Boyfriend!Namjoon #Namjoon fluff #Namjoon drabble #raplinesprince writes

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bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year

Text

Daddy/ 2

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 1.4k

Includes- Stepdad Namjoon, "Dumb/naive" reader, reader name not used- instead called "baby", all are of consenting age, corruption, oral, clit sucking, tongue fucking, face riding, cum eating, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @nctzennikki09 @mrcarrots @yoonallthetime @namjooningera @quinsly @kendranicole1996 @jacobhey @wolfgurl2600-blog @mrskimjoon @svnbangtansworld

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Namjoon POV

The door to my office opens, baby coming inside

Looking over at her, I stop working, "Hi baby. Do you need something?"

She nods, coming to me, "It hurts"

I raise my eyebrow, "What hurts?"

"Down here", she says, touching her pussy

I hold back a smirk

"Ok. And what do you want daddy to do?"

"I want your mouth daddy. I want your tongue to lick me. Please", she whines

I nod, not passing up this opportunity

"Take your bottom clothes off"

I watch her scramble to get everything off, so eager to orgasm

"Stand right here baby", I tell her once her clothes are discarded and she moves in front of me

I reach out and touch her cunt, finding her already so wet

"Hmm baby wants daddy's tongue this much huh?"

She nods, "Please daddy. I can't stop thinking about your mouth"

Inside I'm giddy

She's associating me with orgasms and she came to me on her own this time

This is good

After this, I may be able to fuck her next time

"Legs together", I demand and she obeys

Spreading her lips apart, I lick her swollen, throbbing clit

"Daddy", she moans, her eyes closing

"Open your eyes baby. Watch daddy eat your pretty cunt", I demand

Her eyes fly open, looking down at me

"Good girl"

I slowly lick her clit again, using my whole tongue and sliding up until I flick it with the tip of my tongue

Her legs shake and I just smirk at how easy it is to pleasure her

Increasing my speed as I lick her pulsing bump, she cries out loudly, her eyes still on mine

Such a good girl

"Please daddy", she whimpers

"What do you want baby?"

"Suck daddy. Please"

"Where?", I ask, sucking her clit once, "Here?"

"Yes daddy, please please please", she moans, her hand gripping into my shoulder tightly

"Anything for my baby girl"

Wrapping my lips around her swollen pulsing clit, I start sucking, going harder with every move

"Oh god daddy", she cries

Moving my hands to her hips, I pull her as close to me as she can get, sucking and playing with her hard

Her screams are music to my ears and I find that I'm enjoying sucking on her

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!", she yells as she orgasms, her whole body shaking, her legs buckling

I hold her up, sucking her through her orgasm until she starts pushing my head back

Letting go, I tell her to open her legs

She does, her creamy cum all over her inner thighs

Without thinking, I lean forward and lick some of it up

Her delicious taste hits my taste buds and I need more

As I clean her thighs, I can't help but moan at how good she is

It figures, sweet pussy, sweet cum

And all for me

When I finish, I lick along her cunt to get any more cum off her

"Ddd...daddy", she whispers

"Yeah baby?"

"I....I"

"What sweetie? What do you want? Tell daddy", I urge her

"Want...I want to have sex with your tongue again"

I smirk at her, her face so red from asking

"Oh yeah? You like daddy's tongue inside your messy hole, fucking you good?"

She nods rapidly, "Can I have it daddy? Please"

"Well since you're asking so nicely and you came so good for daddy, I'll do it"

She nods, her thighs pressing together

God she's so horny

It'll be easy to get her to fuck me soon

"C'mon baby girl", I say, taking her hand and leading her to the leather couch in my office

I lay down, motioning for her to come closer

"Climb on daddy's face baby"

"What?", she gasps

"You have to sit on daddy face sweetheart. I'm gonna tongue fuck you but you're gonna ride me face at the same time

"Ride?"

I nod, "Come. I'll show you"

I help her get over my face and she hovers over my mouth

Glancing up, I admire her pussy

So pink, lips swollen, hole clenching around nothing

She's so wet, she's dripping on my face

"Now baby, daddy is going to put his tongue inside you and you have to bounce on daddy's tongue"

"I don't...know how"

"Daddy will show you but then you have to do it by yourself"

"Ok daddy. I'll try"

"Good baby"

Moving my arms around her thighs, I lower her to my mouth, licking along her slit, tasting her juice

So good

Poking into her hole with the tip of my tongue, I push her down, my tongue engulfed in her throbbing cunt

"Daddy! Yes"

Each throb sends pleasure straight to my cock, making me hard

I'm so gonna have to jerk off after this

I don't think she's ready to see my cock yet

It's only the second time I'm doing this to her

Soon though

Soon I'm gonna have her mouth wrapped around me, have her pussy around me

I'm patient

I can wait

Gripping her hips, I move her up my tongue to the tip then pull her back down, her cunt taking as much as of my tongue as I can shove inside her

I help her bounce a few times, getting her going, then I let go of her

She keeps the momentum going, taking my tongue inside her pulsing cunt over and over again

God she's such a good little slut

She leans over me, her hands besides my head as she rides my tongue

Her juice leaks into my mouth and I swallow, drinking whatever her pussy gives me

"Daddy!", she pants, "Gonna cum daddy"

"Mmm" I moan, squeezing her thighs tightly

"Daddy! Oh god daddy!", she cries, shaking above my head, her thick cream sliding down my tongue into my mouth and swallowing her delicious taste, over and over

"Please daddy, more. I need your tongue daddy", she begs

Pulling my tongue out, I swallow the rest of her cream then tell her, "One more sweetie. You can't be greedy ok?"

"Ok daddy", she whimpers

"Daddy's gonna stick his tongue out and you have to rub your cunt on it"

"But...but-"

"No baby girl. You want to cum again, you have to work for it"

She nods, "Ok"

"Good girl"

Opening my mouth, I lay my tongue out and pull her pussy against it

Her hips start moving, rubbing her sweet cunt against my mouth

I watch her from between her legs and I have to say she's pretty

Pleasure all over her face, her little mouth open and panting hard as she rolls her hips into my mouth

She knows how to move, I'll give her that and I can't wait to see her move on my cock

She moves her hips in a way that lets her clit run along my tongue, moaning so loudly

And she goes crazy, moving so fast, her pulsing clit rubbing hard on my tongue

I resists the urge I have to lick and just let her play

She needs to learn to bring herself to an orgasm because when she's ready for my dick, I'm sure as hell not going to be focused on making her cum

She wants to cum, she better do it before I do

Her cunt soaks my face, my mouth and neck so much I'm almost drowning in her

"Daddy", she murmurs, moving faster and faster, "Daddy"

I know she's gonna cum

Good thing because my jaw is starting to hurt

"Fuck daddy!", she groans, her body shaking above me as she creams in my mouth

"Mmmm", I grunt, swallowing every drop

When she finishes, I move her off me, sitting up and putting her next to me on the couch

"Good girl baby", I tell her, wiping my mouth on my arm

"I did good daddy?"

"Yeah baby. Really good. Feel better?"

She nods

"Good baby. Pussy doesn't hurt anymore?"

She shakes her head, "Daddy's tongue made it better"

"Good girl. Daddy has to go change his shirt. I got your cream and juice all over"

"Sorry daddy"

"Don't be sorry baby. Daddy likes your messy pussy"

Her cheeks turn pink in a blush

"Don't be embarrassed baby. Daddy likes your cunt. Be happy about that"

She nods, "Ok daddy"

I stand up, leading her out of my office, "I'm gonna go change before your mom gets home ok"

"Ok daddy"

"And baby. Don't forget. Don't tell anyone"

"I won't daddy. I promise"

Smiling, I say, "Good girl", then head to my room to change, wash her cum off my face and jerk off

#daddy fic #bts namjoon smut #namjoon smut #kim namjoon smut #bts rm smut #rm smut #bts namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfic #bts rm fanfic #rm fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts smut

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joheunsaram · 2 years

Text

Discord Discourse (knj)

summary- Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server... dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?

word count- 2.8k

pairing- idol!Namjoon x fanfic writer!Reader

rating- PG15

genre- internet relationships, s2(maybe)lovers, angst, fluff, slightly smutty

warnings- pretty angsty, a little sexting but not actual sexting, superficial conversations portrayed as deep (lol im sorry I didn’t want to make this too long), infatuation, open ending, talks of a daddy kink

a.n.- this was not supposed to Joon’s bday drabble but it somehow ended up so lol. this is for all my fic writers out there. please don’t hate me for what the reader did... there may or may not be another part in the works oops lol

Thanks to the beautiful @raplinesmoon for helping me brainstorm, beta and fix the ending!!

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

- Kim Namjoon had a bad habit.

It wasn’t like watching too much porn, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t googling himself to read comments on his videos, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t talking to his fans incognito, although it was exactly like that.

Sitting in his room, in his boxers, he had all the lights off. His eyes were fixated on his screen, two fingers hovering over the touchpad of his laptop as he scrolled periodically. He pushed his glasses back, his face luminated by the blue light of his screen and swallowed, ignoring the way his stomach knotted and his face heated.

Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. And it all started when he joined a random discord server named after his studio. Of course he never revealed himself. To the unsuspecting largely female members, he was John, an autocorrect happenstance that granted him his anonymity. Not that anyone would believe he was him anyway. Not in these circles.

He thought it would be cute to interact with his fans when his new solo song came out, a way to practice his English. He wanted to know their reactions and their criticisms without the love. Little did he know that all he would get was affection and that affection would not only feed his dwindling ego but give him a dopamine rush that had become so addictive it had his heart racing every time a notification popped on his phone.

monolover: omgggggg did you see joon in the new mv???? I’m fucking dying! moonchild: yes I want to lick his whole body! GODDAMN HES PERFECT!!! joonsbicycle: honestly if he’s not getting every inch of his body worshipped rn whats even the point of life? moonlover: I volunteer as tribute! God the things I would let that man do to me!!!

He chuckled at the thread, lower lip caught between his teeth and looked around his dark room. The silence in the air was deafening. He liked his home. He was proud of his collection, making it look like an art museum, beautiful and untouchable. The wooden accents and the plush furniture was comforting but they felt cold.

There was no one there to worship his body. There was no one even there to kiss him. Which is why this was a bad habit. He shouldn’t be getting happy sucked into this small world of eight women who had somehow unlocked more kinks in him than should be possible. And he really shouldn’t be holding his breath when your name showed that you were typing.

It was unhealthy to be almost in love with someone who he didn’t even know. Yet when your message popped up, his heart skipped a beat and his boxers got tighter.

yn: if namjoons sitting alone rn it’s a crime!!! I would be on my knees in front of him marking those thighs fuckkk. yn: speaking of! new super smutty fic is out reblog for good skin lol I really hope he never finds my blog he would be traumatized.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Namjoon whispered as he stared into the dark abyss in front of him, imagining you crawling towards him, your lips travelling up his legs, your teeth leaving indentations between the muscles.

When he first joined the server, he had been immediately drawn to you. Perhaps it was because he had joined right after he posted about his plans for opening a gallery and the first thing he saw was your in depth analysis on an artist you admired but he had never heard of. It made him eager to post about art too and gave him the push to step away from his nerves and talk. He expected to be told that he was boring and that nobody cared. He was used to that. But the server was inviting, asking questions and letting him soliloquize about paint strokes and abstractions. They welcomed him with open arms without knowing who he was, especially you.

You asked him probing questions that made him think, re-evaluate his stances, and then you turned out to be something out of his wet dreams. The more time he spent on the server, he realized it wasn’t just a place to discuss his and his team’s music and accomplishments. It was a place where they also discussed how attractive he was. In full uncensored detail.

After only a month, he had read every single work of fiction you had created, all of them featuring him. The other members of the server were writers too, but somehow he only found your works alluring. The first thing he read was a whopping ninety thousand word story about heartbreak and love and perseverance. It had him tearing up with his character, a broken man who worked a dead end job.

He had praised it and the moment you told him it was supposed to be an anti capitalist piece, he read it all over again. This time he caught the nuances and critiques of a system he hated and was a part of — just like the Namjoon in the story. You had never met him, yet his fictional self made all the decisions he would make, felt the things he would feel, and after a really long time, he felt like he was seen. His fictional self wasn’t an idol, he wasn’t famous or beloved. He was just himself and it made his longing for a normal life seem… well, normal.

With time, he used your stories to teleport himself into worlds he wouldn’t experience, into situations he would never be in, and he felt alive. Seeing himself from your eyes made him feel incredible, invincible, even if you were practically a stranger.

So without any further ado, he clicked the link you sent and lost himself in a new world. A world where he was apparently a sex god that could make you cum six times in a row. He was hard by the time he finished the short story, and then he read it again, wanting to memorize the moves you so desired. He knew he would never meet you in real life. He had been lucky but he would never get that lucky. Yet he did it, stroking himself as he imagined how you would sound. Your female characters always whimpered when teased and moaned his name breathily. Would he ever get to hear you whimper?

As if reading his mind, you sent him a message.

yn: don’t get too turned on reading the new story. I want you to figure out the hidden meaning 🤪 john: what hidden message is in jisoo calling Namjoon daddy? yn: john we all know you love when I call Namjoon daddy in my fics lol but look deeper 👀 john: it’s only cause it seems like your characters love saying daddy. Anything you wanna confess babe? yn: ughhhhh I hate that you all know my kinks because of this!!! tell me when you see it

Namjoon read the piece again, ignoring how turned on he was to find nuances, and then he read the description of the room, a description he had skimmed over to get to the good parts. How did he miss that?

john: theyre fucking in prison?! john: WHY IS NAMJOON IN PRISON?! john: I thought you said he would be a good guy! He’s always a good guy in your fics!!! yn: don’t get all emo on me. He could be falsely imprisoned lol yn: but nah I put him in prison as an allegory. Like how life can feel like you’re caged in but you forget about that feeling if you have someone you love by your side. yn: ugh I hate explaining stuff makes me feel like a belong on r/verydeep HAHAHHA john: that’s actually fucking profound. Who knew porn could be art? 😝 yn: sex with me is always art thank you very much john: yeah I bet it is, baby. I wouldn’t mind you calling me daddy anytime.

Namjoon blinked as soon as he registered what he had sent, his heart pounding in panic. He had always had these thoughts about you. He never thought he would tell you any of them. What was fucking wrong with him?! Did he really think a few flirting comments from you gave him free reign to sext! God he was like the terrible men on Tinder, just a testosterone filled Neanderthal focused on sex. Fuck!

yn: as hot as I find out intellectual discourse I really wouldn’t sext with a stranger. you could be like twelve for all I know

Namjoon perked up at the message. You technically didn’t say you didn’t want to, just that you wouldn’t. Perhaps he stood a semblance of a chance when it came to you. Perhaps all the texting and subtle flirting made you like him too.

john: as a matter of fact I turned 28 today. so I’m definitely not twelve yn: ha you’ve been reading too many of my fics your bday really the same as Joons?

Oh… he hadn’t thought through about this piece of information. Of course you knew when your favourite celebrity’s birthday was! But hey a lot of people have birthdays at the same time.

john: virgins unite baby john: VIRGOS! I MEANT VIRGOS! yn: lmfao not helping your case john: how do I prove I’m of age yn: honestly idk yn: guess no sexting for us. rip. john: well… what if we do a voice chat? john: not that I just want to sext you! john: it’ll just be nice to hear your voice and get to know you better yn: ha I’m not going to sext you daddy 🤣 yn: but sure I like talking to you (yn calling)

Namjoon’s eyes widened at the screen, his throat dry. He hasn’t expected this easy acquiescence. He thought you would just blow him off, but after months of daily chats he should’ve anticipated that you’d be comfortable enough to chat with him. Taking a deep breath, he clicked the little green phone to pick up.

“Hello.”

“Hey! Wow, your voice is really deep. Somehow even though your name is John I expected a girl,” you giggled and it was a rush of endorphins tapped right into his veins. Your voice was nothing like he imagined. Where he thought of you to have a high pitched, slightly princess-ey tone, your real voice was lower, an alto with a rasp that made him weak. He wanted to listen to it everyday.

“So does this prove I’m not a twelve year old?” he teased, hiding his nerves with a confident bravado you preferred in the fictional Namjoon.

“Nah. But I really want to talk about this book I’m reading because it’s so funny and dumb in the best way and I could care less how old you were,” you replied. He chuckled as you launched into a rant about this romance series you were reading about a group of men who read romance to solve their romantic problems. Namjoon lost himself a little in the similarities between himself and the plot. Wasn’t he also reading romance to mold himself into a perfect man, albeit he was trying to woo the author herself, but still. However as you continued, he thought about how exceptionally stupid it was for him to even attempt to seek out something other than friendship with you.

It wasn’t as if he could just ask you out and take you on a date. He couldn’t hold your hand or kiss you under the lamplight of a rain soaked street. He only knew your first name and if your accent was any indication, you most likely didn’t live anywhere near him. Should he really try to start something if he knew for a fact that he couldn’t give you the romance that he knew you wished for?

Decision made, his nerves eased and he listened to your rants, discussing the novel he had never read. He couldn’t let his heart get involved. If you love someone, set them free, isn’t that what they said? Well he would set you free to meet the guy of your dreams. You didn’t actually like him, you had mentioned to him time and time again that the Namjoon in your stories wasn’t based of off the real one, and other than light teasing, you had made no indication that you thought his alter ego ‘John’ was up to your standards either. No matter which persona he was, he didn’t fit you, so for the sake of the only freeing friendship he had, he decided it was better not to complicate things.

At least until you said your next words.

“Want to hear about my next story? I think I’m going to write my first idol fic. Something about the loneliness of fame, of how isolating it seems,” you pondered out loud, and Namjoon hated how much he already related to the story.

“Tell me about it. Fame fucking sucks,” he commented, momentarily forgetting his disguise.

“Are you famous, John?” you asked, a teasing grin visible over the line, making Namjoon contemplate whether to come clean. At 3am, his impulsivity was at an all time high so without any forethought of consequences, he hit the camera icon.

The screen split into two, the left side showing his dark room before he clicked on his bedside lamp. The bright light blinded him momentarily, his hand automatically rubbing his eye before he sheepishly looked at the camera. He heard nothing from you but could see your icon showing you were still on the call.

“Hi… umm I guess I’m kinda famous,” he said, laughing uncomfortably. The longer the silence went on, the more his nerves clawed at him, making him flush so deeply, he wished he could turn back time.

“What… the… fuck?”

He heard you whisper before the call disconnected. Staring at the chat, he tried to overcome the sudden wave of dejection at your rejection. It was a logical response. You had said multiple times you wished he never read your works, of course you were taken aback to learn about him, about who he really was. He should give you some time to catch up.

But patience was never Namjoon’s strong suit, so he messaged almost immediately.

john: please say something

You didn’t reply for an hour even when your icon had a tiny green circle next to it, indicating that you were still there.

yn: I am really really sorry about all the fics and the rude comments. I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I apologize if these conversations were creepy or disturbing. Just know that you are a great source of inspiration for me and I hope you keep making amazing music for me and other fans. Thank you so much for your hard work. I will delete my blog if you like and I won’t bother you again, john. yn: I mean Namjoon. yn: really sorry again. yn: also happy birthday!

Namjoon stared at his screen cursing at himself for ruining almost a year long friendship for a moment of loneliness. You had said you made him uncomfortable but he was sure that if anyone was uncomfortable it was you. Bracing himself, he decided to answer the only way he knew how. Honestly.

john: Please don’t apologize. You have never made me uncomfortable Y/N. Please believe me. I really do enjoy your stories and talking to you. I would consider us friends if you’d have me.

As soon as he pressed enter he got a response. Only it wasn’t one he was expecting.

Your message could not be delivered. This is usually because you don't share a server with the recipient or the recipient is only accepting direct messages from friends. You can see the full list of reasons here: https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360060145013

His hands shook as he wrote another message only to get the same message in return. After a year of friendship it seemed that he should’ve just hid his true self after all. Shutting his laptop, fell onto his back on the bed, lying to himself that he was okay and that it didn’t hurt.

Opening your blog on his phone, he was relieved to see it still up. Heart pounding in a last ditch effort, he raced to send you a message. Copy pasting his earlier words from discord, he hoped that this time they reached you.

He was ecstatic when the script under his text changed from delivered to seen, his heart soaring in the effervescence of hope. You never replied back, at least not till his eyes were scratchy from staring at the screen and his lids were heavy from sleep.

Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. But if he could salvage his friendship with you, he had no intentions of breaking it.

taglist - @awhnamjoon @alpacaseoks @raplinesmoon @codeinebelle @aislinnstanaka@miscelunaaa @moonchild1 @shydestinyyouth @itsjaneeet @piecesofapril11@yoontaethings @jeonyreads @pb-n-juju @everythingaboutfangirling @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997

Thank you for reading this fic! If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback!

Please reblog and check out more stories on my masterlist <3

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emerald-notes · 8 months

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Singularity

Fandom: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon × Reader

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“Shit!” I huffed out as I had to climb the stairs up to the third floor and my poor lungs wouldn’t want to cooperate as always, “I forgot my water bottle at home again.”

“You can have mine, no problem!” a boy handed me his half filled plastic bottle.

I usually follow one rule while drinking water from other people’s bottles. I ask them if they touch their lips to the bottles opening while drinking and usually refuse to drink from the same bottle if they do.

That day, however, I didn’t have the mind to do that as I straight up uncapped the bottle to finish the whole thing in one go. When I looked up to say ‘thanks’ and ‘sorry’, he was already gone. As it was almost time for the next class, I supposed he hurried to get to his. I remembered the boy’s name to be Namjoon.

Namjoon was a boy I would often see in between classes. Sometimes we would nod, ask when the next class was or simply smile at each other. And then, we’d go our separate ways. I knew him just like that. I didn’t remember ever having a full conversation with him.

I didn’t see him again after that day. But I heard some rumors about him around the campus not long after. He was accused of saying something that sparked controversy. Since I didn’t know him in person I never expressed my opinion on the matter. But I had a lingering wish to meet him again, to return his empty plastic bottle that I still carry in my bag.

That wish came true when I finally saw him again.

He was having lunch at an empty table at the corner of the cafeteria. There was no one around so I walked up to him right away.

“I’m so sorry I could not return your bottle that day!” I had told him.

“What bottle?” He looked at me with genuine confusion.

I took out the said bottle from my bag to put on the table. Namjoon let out a chuckle at its sight. “You wanted to return this?”

“I know, it might not be a huge deal to you. But I literally can’t sleep in peace until I return what I borrow from someone else. Be it a pen or book or whatever.” I explained myself clearly to which Namjoon nodded and took the empty bottle off the table.

“I’ll take it back then.” He said, “Hope it gives you some peace.”

He shook his head slightly and laughed. For some reason, I felt overwhelmed seeing him laugh like that. His eyes completely vanished behind the wrinkles as he laughed. He looked so unreal. I couldn’t make up my mind why I was feeling that way at such a small act of someone I barely knew. But I had a feeling that it was a moment I would never witness again. I felt the need to capture it in a picture so that I could look at it whenever I wanted to.

However, I didn't take his picture that day. Instead I stood there for a while, enjoying the moment as it was. He didn’t invite me to sit next to him. I wished he did.

The next time I heard about Namjoon was from a group of friends talking about college in general. I wasn't minding their gossip until I heard them speak about him.

"Good grades aren't everything, you see!" One of them said, "you need to have a better character to not be kicked out of school like that."

I was shocked to find what happened to Namjoon regarding those rumors. As much as I wanted to interrupt their conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Yet my heart couldn't believe a word of the dirty talks I heard around. Even though I wasn't a friend of his, neither was I an acquaintance, in my heart, I still pictured him as the smiling boy who had helped me at the time I needed it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: Inspired by a dream...

My Masterlist

#bts #bts ff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #namjoon #namjoon ff #namjoon fanfic #kim Namjoon #kim namjoon ff #knj fic #bts rm #rm ff #bts rm fanfic #rm fanfiction #namjoon drabble #rm drabble #namjoon fluff

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vminizzle · 1 year

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𝔑𝔞𝔪𝔧𝔬𝔬𝔫 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

✑ all my works and writings are purely works of fiction! do not copy and translate without my permission!

(s) : smut (f) : fluff (a) : angst (sg) : suggestive

let me take my time || (sg) 0.4k

expensive girl || (s) COMING SOON

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sunshinebarbie · 7 months

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y’all i have truly entered my namjoon era 😭😩 i been wanting all the fics! all the blurbs! all the imagines! angst, fluff…etc! with namjoon 😭😭😭

i am low key cheesed off that when i look up namjoon fics all i get are JK, or V, or Jimin like i love them too no doubt (hello my ultimate bias is V) but right now i want namjoon!

send me namjoon content!!

#kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #rm imagine #namjoon imagine #rm angst #namjoon angst #rm fluff #namjoon fluff #namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #rm fanfiction

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coupsie-daisies · 2 years

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Between The Minutes | Kim Namjoon

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x GN!Reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Summary: Kim Namjoon is a busy man, but never too busy for downtime with you

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Alcohol mentions (they’re drinking wine)

A/N: This is just a fluffy little something for Namjoon’s birthday. It’s barely edited, but hopefully you like it anyway. Let me know what you think!

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @sunnytaes // @wooyussy // @burningupp // @bunnypig18 // @chrswolfie // @ferrethyun

This fanfiction and the header attached are property of @/hobi-is-golden, reposting on any platform without explicit permission is prohibited

The evening had been peaceful all in all. Namjoon had only recently gotten back from tour, and the boys had been given a chance to take some time off before moving on with yet another new project. You were giddy at the moments you were getting to share with your fiance, having not seen him for more than a night every now and then while he was away. And even then you still spent most of the night at his shows, and with the other boys.

This was different, however. This was just the two of you, sat at opposite ends of your couch with your legs intertwined in the middle, each of you reading your respective books and sipping at your glasses of wine. It was heavenly, just hearing his quiet breaths, and the little hums he let out when he’d read a particularly moving line. Sometimes, in the moments where you were the luckiest, he’d read you a passage, and you’d listen to him talk about just why it was so moving. You liked hearing the thoughts that went on his mind. And, when you ran across nice lines in your own book, you’d nudge your toes against his thigh and read it aloud, waiting for him to think them over and give you what was always a riveting response.

There was quiet music playing from the record player in the corner, an anniversary gift from Taehyung. He said he’d found it and thought it would suit you and Namjoon’s relationship perfectly; simple, beautiful, classic. You had never been the record type before, but now you loved it.

A jazz singer crooned from the record that Namjoon had put on for the two of you, the lights dimmed just low enough to allow you to read without ruining the mood. You hummed along to the song quietly as you flipped the page. You looked up when Namjoon moved, untangling his legs from yours and marking his spot with the bookmark you’d bought him for his birthday. You gave him a questioning smile as he took your glass from you, setting it on the little stand that sat at the end of the couch. He took your hand in his instead, guiding you to your feet. You laughed as he pulled you close.

For someone so clumsy, he had a way of finding his grace when it was set to music. His large palm rested on your waist, the other holding your own as he drew you into a close embrace, swaying you to the sound of the song filling your living room.

You watched his eyes crinkle with a grin, his dimples marking his cheeks. The two of you swayed, and you nuzzled your nose against his jaw, inhaling the warm scent of him, spicy and dark. You could hear the sound of his humming as it rumbled through his chest, and your fingers found the hair at the nape of his neck. You played with it there, pulling your head back far enough to meet his eye.

He looked beautiful in this light, though you thought he looked beautiful in any light. You were the luckiest person on the face of the earth, you’d believe that until the day you died. Namjoon nudged at your waist, and you spun to the song, your head tipped back in a giggle. And you didn’t know it, but at that moment Namjoon was thinking the very same thing you had been thinking.

This was oh so reminiscent of the moment he knew he’d fallen in love with you. That evening you’d spent together, after visiting one of his favorite museums in the area, and you’d convinced him to get ice cream and sit at the fountain with you. He’d watched as you sat at the end of it, watching the water cascade into its pool with a smile on your face. He’d asked what you’d thought of the date, and you’d giggled. You’d told him that it was nice, that you didn’t care much for museums, but it was worth it to see him so entirely in his element. Then you’d cracked a joke about how he belonged in those exhibits he loved, filled with works of art and priceless artifacts just like him. And you’d laughed, with your head thrown back and your eyes shut just like you were laughing now.

You looked back up to him as he tugged your hand to pull you back into his chest. You collided with him, nearly sending both of you stumbling backward. His arm wrapped around you, and you pressed yourself close to him. He rested his chin on your head, and you listened to his heartbeat instead of the music, hearing the way it picked up when your fingers traced the line of his shoulder.

Namjoon let go of your hand, bringing his hand to caress your cheek, then tucking his finger under your chin and guiding your lips to his for a sweet kiss. You could taste the wine on his lips, and the lingering sweetness from the dessert you’d shared after dinner. The kiss was sweet and innocent, lasting only a moment as the song slowed to an end.

“I love you,” He said finally. You smiled brighter than before.

“I love you more.” You insisted. He just chuckled, keeping his arms wrapped around you and walking you backwards back to your spot on the couch where he let you sit down, taking his own place back and picking up his book. The music continued, and you both settled back down into the seats you’d been in before.

You looked at him, your lips curled into an affectionate smile as he flipped the page in his book. You’d gotten so lucky, and you were grateful for the downtime you got to spend with him. After all, he was busy every minute of every day, but he shared his moments with you in between the minutes.

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randomtasteinfandoms · 1 year

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marry me| kim namjoon

summary| at the fear of namjoon’s enlistment you hastily pop the question (foreigner!reader)

“I think we should get married.”

Namjoon almost choked on his drink, that was not the response he was expecting when he asked you what was on your mind.

It didn’t take a mind reader to tell something heavy was weighing on your mind, and it only took Namjoon not even a glance in your direction to tell your brain was running on overdrive. Even in the dim lighting of the restaurant, Namjoon could see the distraught look on your face.

“Come again?”

He wanted to double check that he heard you correctly.

“I think we should get married.”

You stated again with a cold stare across the table. Fiddling with the napkin on the table in front of you.

“Why?” Namjoon automatically tries to take it back when he sees your face drop. He starts to panic. “That’s not what I meant, I mean, why right now?” You shrug your shoulders at him.

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.” “No, Y/N-” “Namjoon I said forget it!”

The car ride home was painfully silent. One thing Namjoon loved most about you was how naturally intelligent conversation flowed between you two, this seemed wrong. Namjoon had a pit in his stomach. You know that feeling when you know you’re whole life is about to change, yeah, it was that feeling. For possibly the first time in your relationship, he didn’t know what do say next. He practically made it sound like he didn’t want to marry you, which wasn’t true at all. Namjoon dreams of the day he gets down on one knee and asks you to be his wife. He wants you, and only you. He wants to marry you and announce it to the world. But why tonight? What was going on in that pretty little brain of yours that made you ask him to marry you tonight?

The driver barely had the car in park when you pushed the door open and practically flew into the lobby doors of the apartment where you and Namjoon live. If he had blinked he would’ve missed you entirely. By the time he’s made it up to the apartment, you were already in the kitchen. Your back was to Namjoon, as you leaning against the counter, taking off your heels and leaving them discarded on the floor. “Y/N, please talk to me. What is going on?” “Namjoon, drop it!” It looked ridiculous when Namjoon jumped back at the loud noise that was Y/N yelling. Namjoon was physically much stronger and he towered over you, but still, your loud booming voice made him jump. It was then when you finally faced him for the first time since the restaurant, only now did he notice the tears streaming down your face. Tinting your pale skin red. It was in this moment his heart completely dropped from his chest. He really messed up.

“Y/N, baby, you need to talk to me. Please.” You sobbed at his plead, you’ve lost it and now it’s affecting him. You look at him, everything is silent for a moment as you debate on how to word the million thoughts running through your head. “You’re leaving Namjoon.” And suddenly everything clicked in that moment. His military enlistment.

the dreaded 2 year required military service

It was a topic that weighed heavily on your mind since the moment you met Namjoon. It scared the living daylights out of you.

“You’re leaving and it scares the crap out of me.” Your reaction was scaring him. Seeing you break wasn’t a normal thing. You were always so strong and cold stone on the surface. You didn’t let people in easily. If this was making you break like it, then it was serious. “Y/N, I’m not leaving yet-” “But you will be, and now the whole world knows.” The trigger. The recent statement HYBE had made was the trigger to this break down. The statement made everything real.

This wasn’t the first break down you’ve had revolving the military enlistment. You’ve had multiple, but the first and only other time Namjoon has been witness to it had been when photo came out of Shinee’s Minho in the military. You remember seeing the photos of him in uniform with a gun and it sent you spiraling. That was going to be Namjoon at some point. What if a war broke out? What if Namjoon left and never came back? Back then, it was just a ‘what if’ but now, it’s real. He’s enlisting and you can’t do anything.

Namjoon didn’t know what to do in that moment. He watched as you stood before him, crying and shaking with your arms wrapped around yourself as some sort of protection. Protection from the realities of the world around you. You couldn’t stand seeing Namjoon’s face breaking, you quickly turn your back to him, facing the white kitchen wall. “When I met you this damn enlistment was up in the air, no one knew if you guys were actually going to do it and now suddenly it feels like there was no other reality then you leaving.” The only noise in the room came from your breathing and Namjoon’s footsteps as he approached you from behind. His arms slid themselves around you waist, hugging you from behind. The second his arms had you, your legs seemingly stopped working as you collapsed. Namjoon held tighter, holding you against his chest, letting you cry as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Y/N, I love you so much.” This sentence shouldn’t have made you cry even harder than before but it did. You knew he loved you, and that made this pill even harder to swallow. “And I would never leave you, 2 years is nothing compared to what we’ve been through. Keeping this, us, private, is so much harder than this enlistment is going to be. I promise.” You shake your head at him, covering your face with your hands. “I’m so selfish.” “You’re not selfish, you’re scared.” “No Namjoon! I’m selfish-” You remove yourself from his grasp to face him again. “Here you are wanting to go and serve your country and I’m here trying to force you to marry me solely so you don’t have to. I’m horrible.” “I’m the selfish one Y/N, you’ve had to give up everything just to be with me.” The break in his voices takes the air out of your lungs. Both of your emotions are running high at this moment and you had the feeling that everything is about to come up right here right now.

“You left your friends and family behind, moved to a whole other country, learned a new language, gave up the chance of living a normal life, just to be with me. You deserve so much better.” “Kim Namjoon, don’t you dare go there.” “It’s true Y/N, you’ve done everything for me and the one thing you want I can’t give you, do you know how that makes me feel?”

Let’s take another shot at this.

“Then let’s get married. We can move to America and you can work on your solo project while BTS is on hiatus, we can live a somewhat normal life.” “I don’t want to marry you!” A pin drop could be heard in that moment. At the look on your face, Namjoon signs, moving to come close to you once again but you back up. “Don’t fucking come near me.” “Y/N, listen to me-” Namjoon listens and stays put. “I want to marry you, okay? I want to marry you so badly, but I do not want this stupid enlistment to be the reason for it.” Stupid Enlistment. “Are you scared?” All this time, you were so concerned with yourself that you forgot to think about him... he was going into the military, he has to be terrified. “I’ve known about this since the second I knew what the military was, I’ve gotten over it.”

“Let’s make a deal-” Namjoon moves closer, he lifts you to be seated on top of the counter behind you. He leans on his hands on either side of you. “Until the second that I leave, we’re spending every second together. This time is for us only. And after enlistment then I will propose and we will get married and we can go live anywhere you want, please just put up with 2 more years of my shit.” You laugh at him. “That all sounds good but I really don’t want to live in America, that was a last ditch effort.” You joke and he laughs, in the moment, you remember why you uprooted your life in the first place. For him and his fucking beautiful laugh.

#namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon blurb #kim namjoon blurbs #rm #rm fanfiction #bts #bts fanfiction

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breadoffoxy · 2 years

Text

Study Buddies

Summary: The I know bodies let me teach you anatomy with a twist!

Pairing: Namjoon x n. Reader

Genre: Humor, College AU

Rating: R

Warnings: Bondage, thigh riding, implied hand job, implied sex, dom!Reader, sub!Namjoon, language Word Count: 3,666

A/N: The latest fic to ever fic for @jinpanman! I’m so sorry for how late this is, but I sincerely hope you enjoy it. I tried writing this in a different style so I also hope it is ok!

It was early, too early, but you have a report to finish this morning and you stayed up too late studying… and catching up on My Hero Academia, but alas that’s not the point! The point is that it is too early and it sucks balls. If only you liked this fabled magical coffee. To you, it’s gross and you never understand how your classmates can gulp it down as if it’s water. Now water, that stuff is great!

The only coffee you can stand is from the little gas station off of university and whatever that other street is. Floyd or Lloyd?? They were back to back, literally the worst possible street planning ever, but anywho, the little gas station. It was a pretty standard run of the ordinary gas station. Nothing special except it’s on the way to your building on campus and that it has far cheaper coffee than any coffee shop ever, at least that you’ve heard of. You’re a college student, despite what capitalism thinks, you have no money.

Dragging yourself inside, you make a beeline towards the coffee counter. The student worker at the counter doesn’t even bother to look up at your entrance, eyes glued on their phone. Even still, you angle yourself so your back blocks their view of you pumping extra shots of French Vanilla creamer into your little cappuccino cup. You take a test sip of the overly sweet drink and quickly add one more pump. Perfect.

The card reader is fussy when you check out and have to reinsert your card. You shift your weight impatiently as the system slowly finishes ringing up. You stare awkwardly in silence at the card reader as the worker stares awkwardly in silence at the register…

…

“Would you like your receipt with that?”

Oh, thank God. “Nope, thanks!” and your zombie feet quickly carry you out of the store.

At least the weather is nice today, not too cold before winter comes in full force. As you walk down the empty campus sidewalks, you start to feel quite refreshed. Usually, you have to dodge bikers going way too fast or get stuck behind a group of students too busy talking or looking at their phones to notice you and scoot to the side like considerate people. Giddily, or maybe it’s all the coffee sugar in your system, you spread your arms wide as a nice breeze flows past you. The sound of leaves rustling, the wind in your hair, your hand smacking hard into something.

A man screams.

You scream. What the fuck!?

Quickly, you turn to see a man bent over slightly with his hands covering his face. Wow, would you look at the size of his arms and those pecs? That sleeveless training shirt should be banned because wooooow. Oh my god, how could you miss those thighs peeking out of his shorts? Who is this hunk of a man peeking over his fingers at you now? You take a sip of your drink, oh yeah, words.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Your hand comes to cover your mouth in a very delayed show of embarrassment and concern. “Are you ok?”

“Ah, yeah.” The man lowers his hands, though one does experimentally poke at his nose. He flinches but you sigh in relief that at least there’s no blood gushing out of his nose. That would have been horrific. “I’ll live.”

“That’s good to hear. It would be a tragedy if the world lost someone so hot.”

The man gawks at your blunt words and you hurriedly take a sip of your coffee. Wasn’t this stuff supposed to help your brain!? If it wasn’t so early you’d be mortified. The feeling is sure to hit you later in full force and you’ll spend the rest of the day sighing in a ball of gloom. For now though, “I really need to get to the library, I’m so so sorry! I totally owe you one ok!”

The man is as still as a statue as he stares where you just were. You dashed off before he could say a word. You were a whirlwind knocking him off balance, quick to leave as soon as you came. Or he came? Since he was the one doing his jog and was trying to pass you. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his short hair. What a weird morning.

A few days pass and your walk through campus was quite uneventful as you head to your anatomy class. Thank goodness, you keep cringing at the embarrassing scenario that happened. It’s a shame you never saw hot jogging man again but you are quite glad as you feel like you’d just melt into a puddle of embarrassment.

The large theater room where the seminar class takes place is freezing as per usual. You rub your arms as you skip down the steps towards the middle of the room. Not too far to where you can still see the projector clearly but far away enough if you doze off no one will notice or care. The professor is smart and obviously talented, but his teaching method could use some work.

You plop down in your normal spot and take out your notebook, flipping through pages of colorful notes and doodles. Once reaching a blank page, you start scribbling something in a corner boredly until you feel that heavy feeling of someone staring at you. You glance up, worried the professor came in and is calling on you, not that he even knows who you are with all the students he has, but the front of the auditorium is still empty, the professor yet to show up. Instead, a few rows down and a little to the left you see a man staring at you, squinting behind thick rimmed glasses. A very familiar looking man.

Oh, shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

It is hot jogging dude!

Anxiety freezes your insides as you stare back at the man you assaulted with your hand the other day. You were slow to recognize him because of his glasses and the bulky hoodie covering his buff form. He looked so soft that you would have no idea that he was hiding those glorious pecs under that hoodie if you didn’t see him in that tight tank top. Oh shit-

You slide down in your seat, but there’s no point in hiding now that he obviously knows you’re there. So you send him a little awkward wave and then point at your nose, mouthing the word ‘sorry’.

He returns your little wave and then moves. You sigh in relief, but then have the urge to run when you notice him walking back across the row. Is he leaving because he was so embarrassed about the other day too? Oh, nope, looks like he’s heading down your row. Aw crap.

You bend your head down, pretending not to notice, and focus very hard on your doodle. You’re not even sure what you’re doodling, just doing the best you can to distract yourself, but the sound of a bag hitting the floor and cloth rusting has you looking up, right into the hot jogger man’s eyes.

“Hi.”

You blink your eyes as your brain reboots. His eyes are too pretty up close. Now he’s smiling at you. “Um…hi?” Why did it come out like a question!?

Rubbing the back of your neck, you hastily apologize again. “I’m so sorry for what happened the other day. Your nose is fine, right?”

He taps his nose without a flinch. “Told you I would live.”

“And I told you I owed you. Name your price.” You sit up, trying to show you were seriously sorry.

The man grins, nearly smirking, and adds “You also said I was hot.”

You instantly slouch down in your chair and hide your face in your hands. “I said I’m sorry! Please don’t torture me hot jogging man.”

The man laughs, a comforting sound that makes you peel your hands away to look upon his smile. He holds his hand out to you. “I’m Namjoon, though I guess hot jogging man works too.”

You take his hand, “Hello Namjoon, I’m bad with mornings and put my foot in my mouth.” You give Namjoon your name and try your best not to swoon when he repeats it back to you with a smile.

The lights dim and the professor, who you didn’t even notice had arrived and set up, starts the class. Namjoon sends you a flirty wink and drops your hand to attentively take notes. Your mind’s a blur the whole class and you can barely focus. Well you are focused, just not on the projector you are staring blankly at. All your attention is intently aimed at the man beside you.

You fidget with the pen between your fingers and all too suddenly the lights seem to come back on. Class is over already? You stare at your blank notebook and then turn to see Namjoon’s pages filled out with messy but detailed notes. Crap.

“You really aren’t great with mornings.” Namjoon took notice of your blank notebook too.

“Yep, I’m awful with mornings and nothing else. No other reason to be distracted during this exhilarating class.”

Namjoon laughs at your sarcasm and turns his notebook towards you. “Write down your number and I can send you a picture of my notes.”

You could just take a picture with your phone now, but you decide to humor him. Plus, it’s not every day you give a person who is both hot and studious your number. “I owe you two times now,” you write your number in one of your colorful pens on top of the page along with your name. “Seriously, if you need anything, let me know.”

“It’s fine, I really don’t mind.” Namjoon waves off your worries. “I could use a running partner though?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. You really are trying to kill me.” You can’t help but snicker as you pack up your things. “I have to get headed to the other side of campus for another class, but I’ll see you around hot jogger dude.”

“See you, cutie who’s bad with mornings.”

Ok, yeah, you are absolutely sure this man was trying to kill you.

Exam season is in full spring and the library of course is crammed with exhausted students, holding their heads in their hands in defeat over textbooks and over expensive coffee. Well, not you!

One, because you have your water bottle and school hasn’t killed off your tastebuds completely yet. Though, that is now in question from the odd chicken nuggets you were able to scrounge in the dining hall the other night…

Reason number two! There’s no good spot in the library, or any spot open unless you want to sit on the floor, which you don’t want to do. It’s a fire hazard and you just know your butt would get numb. So, you may have seen a librarian make someone else move who was camping out on the floor due to it being a fire hazard. You picked up your bag and moved on to…

Reason number three! You are smart. Instead of being in an overheated and overstuffed library filled with the silent cry of students in agony, you found a much better spot. The science building next door was blessedly empty and silent, though almost a little too cold. Not one to be picky, you spend time finding the perfect spot, an empty open lab with long bench like tables. You spread your notebooks and textbooks over the large surface haphazardly, though careful of the empty test tubes left out. Now you weren’t squished sharing a small corner of an unbalanced table. Genius!

Your only company is the large analog clock going tick, tick, tick, tick, counting your misery as you stare at your notes. The sound seems impossibly loud. Propping up your textbook, you stare at the anatomy diagram, the names literally in latin, seem unreadable. You’re much more of a kinesthetic learner than visual, so anatomy, which just seems like a lot of memorization for the class you’re in, is rather difficult. You shall overcome!

…tick, tick, tick…

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here.”

Your head shoots up at the voice and whirl around, though you are relieved to see it’s only Namjoon leaning against the doorway. Hah, only Namjoon, the hot runner dude you developed a tiny crush on over the course of the semester ever since he sat next to you in class, or maybe since you backhanded his nose. He straightens and takes curious steps towards your table.

He’s in one of his bulky hoodies and sweatpants, the highlights of student fashion during exams. The fluorescent lighting gleams off Namjoon’s glasses as he adjusts them and peers over your shoulder. “Trying to study anatomy through osmosis?”

You rub at your forehead and cheeks, hoping the book didn’t leave any marks on your face. “I was just about to figure out how to soak the words off the page and into my brain until you interrupted,” you grin tiredly at him, “I’m much more of a hands-on learner so all this memorization is difficult.”

Namjoon freezes for a minute and you can tell he has an idea floating around his head. His lips though remain tightly closed.

Glaring at him, you prod, “What, tell me.”

Namjoon thinks for a moment before nodding to himself, as if trying to encourage himself this was a good idea. He moves beside you so you can see him better. “Well, you see, you need help with,” his arms waves over you, “bodies. And I,” the same arm is placed smoothly on the edge of the table, “know bodies.” His hand slips and then there’s the sound of tinkering glass.

A hand comes up to cover your shock, from not only Namjoon’s constant clumsiness but also his words, and can only watch helplessly as Namjoon fumbles dangerously with the test tubes after his arm neary shoved them off the table. Once the fragile equipment is safe, you can’t help but snort behind your hand at just what happened. The thought of how cute he is runs through your mind and you grin.

“Are you propositioning me, Namjoon?”

Eyes intently focused on the test tubes shift to shyly look up at you. Seeing your grin, he smiles back, “I figured since osmosis was out, a more ‘hands on' method as you mentioned might work out better.” When he sees you bite your lip, his face morphs into a more serious expression. “No pressure though if you don’t want to, of course. I can just step right on out and pretend this never happened.”

He takes a few steps back, but you reach out and grab his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. “I mean, if you want to help me study so badly, how could I say no? Though I do have to ask if this is a one of a kind special tudor session you have in mind or,” you trail off to bite at your lip again, “a long term kinda partnership thing?”

Namjoon blinks at you wordlessly for a moment, taking in your words. His wrist moves out of your hold and your heart falls. Before it can hit rock bottom, long fingers smoothly interlace with your own, and your heart rises, nearly bursting out of your chest. Your emotions are in a whirlwind as Namjoon pulls you up from the lab bench.

“I’m thinking more of a long term kinda partnership thing sounds nice…if that’s what you want?”

You nod enthusiastically, “Yeah, I think I’d like that a lot. Like, a lot, a lot.”

You wish you could smack yourself in the head right now. This moment should have been more romantic but exams turned your brain to ash. Best to put what you fail with words into action. Tilting your head, you move so your lips brush against Namjoon’s jaw line. His skin warms beneath your touch and you can almost feel his pulse flapping like a pair of butterfly wings.

Cute.

Lips turning into a devilish smirk, your mouth trails a hot path down his neck to where you feel his pulse beats fastest. A shiver runs through Namjoon when you find where he’s most sensitive and you feel his other hand place itself on your waist tightly. He practically melts when you suckle on his skin.

“Do you think-” Namjoon gulps as your tongue starts to lavish his skin with languid strokes, “we should go a little more private?”

After nipping at his neck, you regretfully pull away. Namjoon lets out a startled noise and you rub your thumb soothingly over the reddening spot on his neck. “I suppose that’s for the best, I’d hate for someone hearing you teach me so well that they would want to steal you away.”

Namjoon flusters even more and you feel his skin heating under your touch. “That, or someone reports us and gets us in trouble.”

You back away from Namjoon, hands slowly slipping through his, and you immediately miss it. “Just let me pack up my things and we can head to my place. Good?”

It’s time for your heart to flutter this time at the sweet smile Namjoon gives you, though the lustful look in his eyes sends the feeling straight down to your core.“Good.”

You never packed up your study notes so fast in your life.

It’s clear to see that the study session isn’t going how Namjoon thought it would, but he’s not complaining.

“Please, I-ngh.”

Begging is more like it.

As soon as the two of you made it to your apartment, the door barely closed before your hands were on each other, lips hungrily devouring the other. You fumble your way and Namjoon as you guide him back into your room. Namjoon’s knees buckle slightly as he backs into the bed, and you give him a helpful little push the rest of the way down. He falls back and his large frame sinks deliciously into your mattress.

“Take off your shirt and I’ll be right back.” You wink at him and watch as he grabs the end of his shirt to pull it smoothly over his head in one motion. You’re practically drooling as Namjoon leans back, flexing and smirking your way.

Namjoon licks his lips, “Don’t you have to get something?”

“Yeah…,” you trail off, giving a longing look at Namjoon’s toned body before turning around. “...Going.”

Heading into your closet, you crouch down over a large bag in the corner and quickly open it and pull out what you need. Both you and Namjoon are surprised at each other when you dash back out of your closet.

Him because of the cables or long rope in your hands.

You because he stripped himself of his pants and holy fucking god, his thighs.

“What’s that for?” Namjoon nods towards the rope and has to repeat your name to break the trance of you staring at his thighs.

“Oh, this,” you wave the rope around as if it’s nothing out of the ordinary. “Since I need to study, I figured it would be best if we didn’t get too distracted y’know?”

And that’s how Namjoon found himself tied to your bed, hands tied above his head to the bedpost with his legs spread and tied to the bottom corners of your bed frame. Your naked heat slowly grinds down on his thick thigh, smearing a trail of your arousal to shine across his skin. His head is cloudy with lust as your fingers trail over his chest.

“Please, I-ngh.”

You lean forward, pressing more into him, to enclose a nipple into your mouth. You suck around it hard and bite down, enjoying his sharp intake of breath and how his body pulls at the restraints underneath you. Your hips grind down harder down on his thigh in reaction before you pull up.

“Now, even I know that’s not the name of that.” Your nails trail over his skin, watching as his muscles twitch under you. “It starts with an ‘s’ right?”

“S-serratus anterior muscle,” Namjoon answers, his jaw clenching together in strain.

“Ah, that's it! Thanks. So we got deltoid muscles here,” your hands skim over his body to trace over the tops of his arms just under his shoulder. You then splay your hands out greedily over his chest again. “Pectoralis major muscles here.” This time you move your whole body down as you recite, “Serraus anterior muscle, external intercoastal muscles, mmmm rectus abdominis muscle,” and your tongue dips down to run between Namjoon’s abs, “ and linea alba.”

“Mmhmm, perfect score.”

You leave a soft kiss over Namjoon’s abs as your eyes look up across the expanse of his body laid before you. “Told you I was a hands-on learner.”

Namjoon pulls weakly at his restraints and sighs in frustration. “Think you’re up to skipping ahead a couple of chapters?”

You lift yourself up to sit back on Namjoon’s thighs. “I wouldn’t mind getting ahead a little bit and getting a good handle,” your hand grasps around Namjoon’s hard, erect cock, appreciating the weight of it in your hand and the way he gasps, “on the subject.” Your voice lowers and becomes husky as you start to grind yourself slowly on Namjoon’s thigh again. “Teach me everything, and tell me how it feels.”

Namjoon’s head hits the pillow hard as a long deep moan escapes his parted lips, finally getting touched where he wants after endless amounts of teasing. Any thoughts of science fly out of the window, but his bodily reactions and moans tell you exactly how he feels.

You never enjoyed studying so much, and you don’t want to stop until you learn every single inch of the man beneath you.

#kvanity #btsghostie #namjoon fanfiction #rm fanfiction #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #my writing #study buddies

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jinkookspencil · 1 year

Text

unlucky in love

Your best friend Namjoon proposes a surprising, prolonged backup plan for the decades to come……

“Would….Would it be so bad?”

“You and me. You and me stuck with each other.”

tags/description: ~6k words / namjoon x (f) reader / angst / fluff / friends to lovers(?) / pining / no smut but alludes to sex possibly happening at one point / no triggers or warnings, except swearing / happy ending / slow burn within their timelines since this takes years…. / jane austen references, title is a reference to p&p but fair warning i might just change it to 'unlucky' in the future / three ‘chapters’ / age of namjoon in each chapter: 1: ~27, 2:~32, 3: ~36 / chapters are separated by little ✣ ’s / feedback always welcome!

author’s note: every time i say I’ll upload my jin fics another fic pops into and out of my head - this namjoon fic came out of nowhere and i just thought to upload it to celebrate the release of indigo. the jin ones are coming very soon though. </3 proud of this though, besides the jin wip series, this is my first longer work!

Namjoon was a catch. An ideal man. The perfect man, really. It wasn’t hard for you, one of his best friends, to see why practically every woman on the planet fell for him. It wasn’t just the people who knew him, either. You could see it in the barista’s eyes when you grabbed coffee together. You heard your friends’ countless gushes over him, even the ones that were taken. And you couldn’t blame them…. He was smart, a little goofy, respectful, manly, sometimes endearing, and he was pretty easy on the eyes too. Every woman’s dream. Practically a Jane Austen character come to life.

You could see it, understand it….you just never…. felt it. Namjoon was a close friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

You always had to dismiss people who thought otherwise or thought that that’s how you knew each other. Work had made your paths cross a few years ago when you were both in your early twenties and taking your first steps into the world of art. When he walked into your job at the film institute one morning, he had wanted to find out more about the artistry of film, the one realm of art he didn’t explore as thoroughly as paintings, sculptures, and literature, which you had always thought of studying as well. A quick conversation about film turned into an hour-long discussion on art and passion; the rest was history. Whenever Namjoon came back to learn about film, you took the opportunity to ask him about literature and art, whenever he brought it up, and before you knew it a friendship formed. He was the only one that got you, on your passions, art, and, as you’d later find out, in life.

Movie nights at his place and your place were common, as were trips to libraries and bookstores to pick out different reads, which you’d begin at coffee shops over cronuts and pies, but you enjoyed your regular late-night therapy sessions just as much, talking about life and its complexities, sharing ideas and personal philosophies… He was the only one that ever cared about that sort of thing…. And even when it got to discussions on love, everything remained respectful - especially when the other was in a relationship. Boyfriends came and went, with only one ever getting “worried” about Namjoon, whose girlfriends came and went over the years as well.

You understood art, you understood each other, you just never understood love.

It was the main topic of conversation on your cold, December walk, trying to figure it out as you always did.

“Why are we just so unlucky?” you complained. “Do you think there’s something wrong with us? Are we attracting these weirdos?”

He giggles. “I wouldn’t say that. We’re just ourselves, aren’t we? And don’t be mean. People just play a role and live fake lives because they don’t know any better. What did that guy tell you once? Didn’t he say that he was an author but it turns out he paid someone to write some fake short story about a cloud or some shit? Didn’t they even write the good morning texts he sent you?”

“Oh god, don’t remind me of that lazy ass, Joon,” you shake your head. “As if you didn’t date that girl who said she was an art curator but couldn’t pronounce Monet.”

“Ay,” he sighs. “I just wish people were honest to themselves, you know. So what, if you can’t pronounce Monet and didn’t like art? That girl was fine, she was just a compulsive liar. I can’t have that.”

“Sincerity is dying, Kim Namjoon. It lives in you and me only. And in, let’s hope, a lovely man out there who proves me wrong. And in someone for you, too.”

“Let’s hope. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck with each other.”

“Oof, can’t have that,” you laugh, but a couple of steps later you notice that Namjoon had stopped walking, the bite of the hotteok he had taken from the dessert in your hands lingering in his mouth for a moment too long before he swallowed it.

Eyes squinted in a far off-gaze, with his head tiled, you knew Namjoon was in thought. As always, you stopped and stared at him until he came back to Earth, not to interrupt his train of thought.

“Would….Would it be so bad?” he finally speaks.

“Would what be so bad?”

“You and me. You and me stuck with each other.”

W- all of a sudden?!

“Namjoon?!”

“Listen, I know we’re friends. Just friends, right? For all these years? And even right now… like sorry, Y/N, but I don’t know if I feel so attracted to you… I think I know too much and we’re too alike but that’s not the point. Just… Would it be so bad?” he asks, but he goes on. “I guess you’re right, we’ve both just been so…. unlucky. I like to think there’s someone out there for me and for you but… I can’t deny that I’m losing hope, at least for myself. You are, too, you just admitted it. The new year is starting soon and I've been thinking about what I want in life... And… I want a wife. I want kids. And..”

“Namjoon, what the fuck are you saying?!,” you yell in the middle of the snowy park. “Kids?!”

“Not now!” he explains. “Of course not now. But… look they always say ‘marry your best friend’, right? Well, you’re my only ‘best friend’ that’s a girl. It’s not like I can ask Yoongi to marry me.”

You feel your head spin at the words spewing out of Namjoon’s mouth.

“Kim Namjoon! A wife, marriage, kids, what the fuck are you saying?”

He takes a deep breath and grabs your elbow, leading you to sit on a nearby park bench.

“Breathe, Y/N. I thought this through and we can scrap the idea and pretend like I never said anything, but just hear me out for a moment, with a calm mind.”

Looking at Namjoon, still confused, you take a couple of deep breaths before you nod at him to continue talking.

“I’m not saying this for right now. What I’m saying is… in years, if we’re still friends, if we’re still single, if we’re still unlucky in love, if we still get each other…. If, and if, and if…. Why don’t we… why don’t we give this a shot? Just as a backup? We can either try a relationship - but that might be too weird because you know,” he tilts his head, “As I said, I think you’re not… and I am not… at least right now, anyway… Anyway! We can do that or we can just… get married regardless. Maybe have kids some way or the other. I know you want that in life but not right now, and I feel the same. And who knows? Our ‘wants’ can easily change…. But if…. It’ll be nice to share my life with my best friend.”

You stare at Namjoon, taking in his… proposal. “When?”

“When should we do this?” he assumes is your question, staring up at the sky while he figures out an answer. “When I’m around 35, 36, 37? That seems good for both of us. That gives us plenty of time to find someone else, if that happens and…”

“No, I mean… when did you come up with this idea?”, you ask.

“Oh, just right now when we were walking over there,” he says, pointing to the place he froze.

“And you’re so ready to make this offer?!”

“You’re my best friend!” he exclaims. “Wasn’t this always a safe space for us to just say what’s on our minds?”

His tone couldn’t be more serious, even with the gentle expression on his face.

“Look, it’s just an idea. It’s just a backup. And hey if in the future you or I feel like this conversation was a bad idea we can forget it ever happened. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend our nights watching films everyone thinks is too pretentious, talking about life, then in the mornings visiting libraries and galleries, with hotteoks and coffee? And not have to worry about lovers who never gave a shit about all of that? It’s about more than that but…,” he pauses. “We can still do it as friends, but…. just in case we don’t find that with someone else….”

You stare at Namjoon. He was your best friend. He understood you more than any lover, or any friend, ever had. Would it be so bad? To marry your best friend?

“And what about the issue of attraction, Joon? We both think that’s important. I hate to break it to you, bestie, but I’m not attracted to you, either.”

“That’ll resolve itself,” he laughs. “We’ll probably be too old to care. Or.. we’ll see…. There are so many ‘if’s’ for this to happen and I don’t know what future Namjoon will think. It’s just an offer.”

You had plenty of time. Sure, you’d find someone…. Sure, he would too - if given the chance, hundreds of girls would line up just for the chance to date him. OF course, you’ll both find other people…. But for now…. Would it hurt to not completely disregard your best friend?

“I’m living every girl’s dream… getting proposed to under conditions, with the guy telling her she’s unattractive and saying he’ll be stuck with me.”

“Sorry, just think of yourself as a modern-day Elizabeth Bennett,” he smiles.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself by insinuating that you’re a Darcy,” you say, making him laugh.

“So… when you’re 35?” you ask after a moment of silence, looking at Namjoon through your eyelashes, picking at the paper packaging of your shared dessert in your hands, his twiddling with the strings on his hoodie.

“Around?”, he answers.

You nod, smiling at your best friend.

“Okay. That gives me plenty of time to find an actual Mr. Darcy.”

“I’m sure he’ll bewitch you, you idiot….”

✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣

“Finally, it’s been too long.”

Those are the words you’d greeted Namjoon with the moment you spotted him waiting for you outside the cafe. It had been too long. Over the years, you kept in touch as best as you could, but with hectic work schedules and different careers, it was hard to see each other as often as you used to in your twenties.

“It has,” he smiles, wrapping an arm around you in a hug. “What has it been like 5, 6 months? How’ve you been?”

You catch up for the next hour over coffee and pastries, talking about life, the world, and art, as you always had, as if you’d just seen each other the other day. But, as the sun began to set and the cafe got too busy to relax in, you were reminded that your long-anticipated hangout day was slowly coming to an end.

“I don’t know if it’s our age or if that croissant ruined it, but how is this iced latte so sweet?” he wonders, taking a sip of the extra coffee he ordered to go as you watched the summer sky change colors in the park.

“Let’s switch,” you offer, handing Namjoon your iced americano. “You never liked coconut milk, anyway, why would you order it with your coffee? Dairy is still bad for you, huh?”

“Yep. I can’t power through the intolerance anymore,” he laughs. “Could it be possible that my girlfriend’s dairy intolerance made me even more intolerant?”

“The model, right?” you ask.

“Yep. She’s…alright. And hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you…. how’s that guy you’ve been seeing? How long has it been now? A year?”

“A year and a half,” you nod. “That’s actually the reason I’ve been rushing to see you…

I…uh.. I’m engaged.”

Namjoon’s pace slows. “Oh.”

Oh?

“Uhm, congratulations,” he says sternly.

“Thanks….” you murmur, side-eyeing Namjoon who just stares at his feet as you both continue to walk.

“Do you like him?”

“….Of course, I like him, Namjoon. Why else would I accept? Why else would I date him for a year and a half of my life?”, you snap.

But Namjoon remains quiet, merely nodding in the silence.

“I thought you’d be happy for me,” you say.

“I would be…. If you were happy.”

“I am happy,” you say, stopping him and standing your ground.

“Then where the fuck is your ring?”

You quickly hide your hands in your pockets in a feeble attempt at concealing the truth he just spat out. He had given you a ring. A diamond ring with a gold band. One he said reminded him of you. Even though you told him you hated diamonds, and only wore silver. It was the thought that counts, right? The gift…. The proposal. It didn’t matter that he didn’t bother getting one that fit either, it was too big and too…. not you. As he said, you should be grateful that he finally popped the question…..

“It was too big,” you say meekly, and Namjoon scoffs.

“Even so, why didn’t he get it resized? Why isn’t it on a chain around your neck? Is it fucking gold?!”

“I…”

“To this day… even if we don’t see each other as often, I’d still consider you my best friend,” he interrupts you softly. “I know you more than anyone, Y/N. If this is the same guy you talked to me about a year ago….,” he sighs. “I know the movies you find romantic, the books and characters you fawn over, the tropes you like, the art that affected you… and I know he isn’t.. he wouldn’t… He wouldn’t do all the things you wanted, all the things you deserved, Y/N. What happened to that hope you always had, even whenever we called ourselves unlucky? Where is my best friend? The Y/N I knew, who looked for a Darcy or a Knightley or whatever the fuck? That Y/N? She wouldn’t settle for someone like that.”

“I woke up. I was delusional. I realized that I don’t live in a fucking Jane Austen novel, Namjoon. There’s no one else, okay?”

He shakes his head. It stings more than anything, seeing the disappointment and…. hurt…. in his eyes. “Your reason for marrying a guy is ‘there’s no one else’? Y/N….”

“Don’t bring up that stupid ass deal now, Namjoon.”

“Did I?!”, he asks, and it’s the first time you sense anger in his voice. You rarely could… even over the years.

“Fuck the deal. Look at the guy you’re marrying,” he spits the words out, the last word escaping like venom, before rubbing the space between his brows. “How many times did you come to me because he never got you, huh? Because he never made any effort to do so?

I just want to see you happy, Y/N.”

“Well, open your eyes, Namjoon because that’s what you’ll see.”

But you walk away the moment he looks at you, knowing you’d be unable to hide another lie, nor the tears forming in your eyes.

He knew you too well.

✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣ ✣

“Did you hear who’s here?”

Looking up from your notebook, you see the excitement in your co-partner’s eyes… under all that blue mascara and funky makeup.

“Put that thing away! It’s a party. Guess who’s here?”

“Who?” you resign, putting your tiny notepad and pen in your purse.

“Only your FAVORITE film director, AND he’s looking to fund the film institute, AND he’s newly single.”

You contain your excitement, but she’d never realize it was there. “You talk like a teenager when we need to get down to business, ‘partner’. Is he really here and looking to fund it?”

“And he’s single,” she reiterates. “Oh, and the Kim Namjoon is here.”

…..Oh.

“He's so handsome, isn't he? And on top of all that talent? I think he’s looking to put together some pieces for an upcoming exhibition in his gallery… And word on the street is he's looking to get into film, too. Actually….," she pauses, "you two seem like a good fit. I’m sure you’ll work together one day.”

The thought of seeing Namjoon made your heart race, but really there was no reason for you to be surprised. The both of you had become prominent people in the art industry… It was more surprising that you hadn’t bumped into each other in all these years, dancing within the same circles. And you always promised yourself…

Still, you were there for work, you reminded yourself quickly. Sure, it was a party, but everyone networked at these things. And you had a film institute that needed funding….

The night went well, you mixed and mingled with so many people that were interested in film and the institute, and you can’t help but feel a rush when receiving your favorite director’s business card, complete with his personal phone number…. Where that’d go, you couldn’t tell, but his brief mention of funding and a collaboration idea was more than enough. Lost in the adrenaline, you forgot about Namjoon entirely….

“Y/N, there you are!,” you hear from behind you,. It was a partygoer you had just met….a familiar, looming figure was talking to someone else behind her. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere! Have you met Mr. Kim Namjoon?”

Of course. This was it.

The all-too-familiar figure turns towards you, his glaring eyes fixated on yours for a moment so long you missed the partygoer’s unnecessary introductions.

“….Miss Y/N here is a leading figure in the world of film,” you hear, “which I know you expressed interest in delving into, Mr. Kim.”

“You don’t need to introduce Miss. Y/N L/N to me. It’s good to see you,” he says with a smile, eyes still locked onto yours, but you don’t miss his fingers twitching around the glass in his hand before he outstretches his other arm.

“It’s good to see you too,” you reply, shaking his hand. Just as soft and big as you remember it to be.

“Oh! Have you… met?” the elderly lady asks from somewhere in your peripheral vision.

“We have,” you simply respond with a nod, but Namjoon elaborates.

“We… now.. we now know of each other.”

“Oh…. Well… why haven’t you collaborated yet?! I’ll leave you to it, figure it out and make it happen,” you hear the woman insist and briefly see her figure disappear into the crowd.

“It really is good to see you, Y/N,” he says, finally breaking the silence between you in the otherwise noise-filled room.

“Same to you, Namjoon….”

“I’m proud of you and all that you’ve done. I never got the chance to say that.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of you, too… ‘Mr. Kim’,” you laugh.

“Oh,” he winces with a chuckle, “It sounds even weirder coming from you. At this age and I still haven’t gotten used to it, to all of…. this,” he says, waving around to the party behind him and taking a sip of his drink.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like a good party, Kim Namjoon, I know you too well.”

“You do, you do…..,” he says, nodding. “And I do, like a good party. But you know just as well as I do that this isn’t a party. This is just… networking and business.”

“Yeah… and you’re interested in film, all of a sudden….”

“Not all of a sudden, Y/N, you know that, but it is time for my foundation to step into film. We've neglected it for far too long, but… fuck I don’t want to talk about that…” he waves off. “You’re the only one here I can have a normal conversation with…”

You had both begun to hear distant calls of ‘Mr. Kim Namjoon!’

“….Can we step out for a while?”

Just around the corner from the gallery the event was held at, was a quaint yet artsy bookstore and bakery hybrid that was surprisingly still open at this hour. But at the employees’ silent acknowledgment of Namjoon, you suspected he was a regular… or the more obvious answer, they recognized him as famed writer and art philanthropist, Kim Namjoon.

“Sit, I’ll get us some stuff,” he says, before returning to you with two coffees and two pastries. “A lemon flavor and a dark chocolate one… Because we’ve gotten so old.”

You chuckle, taking a bite of the bittersweet dark chocolate pastry, the perfect cup of coffee in your hands, the beautiful bookstore you were in and wondering how you never found it, but most of all you were taking in the moment… Taking in the fact that you were sitting opposite Namjoon again. Taking him in. With his eyes wandering around in thought, and a smile on his face. Already, it was as if no time had passed at all. Except, age looked good a bit too good on him.

“Coffee, desserts, bookstores, and probably late-night conversations with Kim Namjoon… Takes me back.”

“Yeah…..” he thinks aloud, eyes still scanning above and below as he does…. “Yeah, I missed this.”

“…So have I…. I’m sorry I never reached out, Namjoon.”

“Don’t be,” he says, looking at you through his brows and taking a slow sip from his coffee. “I never reached out either.”

And…,” he starts, rubbing his hands together before continuing, “ I don’t know if I can take another year,” he says, breaking the silence. “Friends again?”

You don’t even have to think about it. “Friends again.”

“Good,” he sighs with a wide smile, his eyes still forming little crescent moons when he did so. “Phew. Finally, I’ll have someone that gets me. Maybe we both changed over the years, but even so, I’m just glad I’ll have someone to talk to about books and art again. Someone that doesn’t want something out of me or isn’t bored out of their mind when I do so like Yoongi. I made the funniest joke the other day and he just ignored me like I hadn’t said anything.”

“What was the joke?”

“What do you get if you cross a painter with a heavyweight boxer? ….Muhammad Dali.”

You scoff. “Seems like Seokjin rubbed off on you. Kim Namjoon, you haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you,” he says. “I saw you with your little notebook. Who brings a notebook to a party?”

“I was writing down information I knew I’d forget! Do you know how many people introduced themselves? I need to differentiate the flirting guy from the ‘kid faking that he’s in the industry’ from ‘serious collaboration potential’! They’re all in that sacred notebook, with a description of each person!”

“The flirting guy, huh? In addition to that too-good director? I saw him give you his number...” Namjoon chuckles, before going silent. “Whatever happened with… to the engagement?”

Despite having no contact with Namjoon over the past couple of years, there’s no way word wouldn’t have gotten to him. Despite everything, if you had made that mistake, he still would’ve been invited to the wedding.

“You know, Namjoon.”

He nods. He knows. He probably knows that he’s the one who woke you up from that nightmare too. But nothing needs to be said.

“Yeah,” you roll your eyes. “Whatever happened to that model by the way?”

“…Which one?” he smirks.

“Fuck off, Kim Namjoon,” you throw a flimsy napkin in his way, laughing while he explodes into his hearty, hyena laugh - the one he rarely lets out.

“Oh, it’s been ages since I heard that,” you say, pretending to wince at the noise.

“It’s been ages since it came out of me.....”

“Why? Seokjin’s not around? Too busy with his wife and kids?”, you ask.

“He’s around, still as funny, but… I don’t know, you make me laugh…differently…”

“It was your joke! You basically made yourself laugh, Joon,” you giggle.

“Oh, fuck,” he says. “…'Joon’…”

You search his face, trying to sense what he was feeling but you couldn’t tell what it was…

“No one called you that? Over the years? It seems like a… common, easy nickname for you….” you say calmly, wondering why no girlfriend or lover ever used the soft as summer nickname for the man who was the same.

“People tried to,” he shakes his head. “I never let them.”

“Why?” you ask, eyes narrowing. “Why, Namjoon?”

“Y/N…. I know I don’t have to explain sentimentality to you.” His gaze shifts from the paper cup he toyed with to your eyes, and again, you just sit in silence.

It was time.

“You know, Namjoon, I did a lot of thinking…. over the years… About myself, the world…. You know, we called ourselves unlucky but we’re really quite stupid.”

“I know,” he nods. “We are, but… go on.“

“It was stupid of us to attribute it all to luck and the world. Especially because… all these years, I don’t think either of us really knew what we were searching for. We chased the empty label of ‘love’ without defining how that’d look like to us. And that’s what I’ve been working on.”

“And?”

“And…. After countless movies, books, art, and a lot of self-reflection….. I finally have an idea.” Your eyes wandered as you talked, but you were determined to keep them on him, who listened intently, as you continued.

“I have an idea… of what love looks like to me. Whenever I thought about what I wanted, what I had and experienced… I realized that what I wanted was what we had. That friendship, that support, that empathy, respect, trust, honesty, and understanding… that… love.

I loved you, Namjoon. I love you.”

“And I loved you…and love you. I always did and always will,” he says immediately, calmly. “But…. what exactly are you saying?”

You knew he meant it as you did. You didn't need to define what type or over-analyze it and sub-categorize it as you would have when you were younger. It was love. Deep, true love. And it’s now or never...

“Is that offer still on the table?”

A chuckle escapes him, as well as the smile he tried so hard to contain.

“You needed to rewatch all those movies and reread all those books to figure it out? I could’ve painted you a picture years ago. But… you never even asked if I was single.”

“Are you?” you ask, hoping the quiet chuckle you let out concealed the bubbling feeling of regret in your chest. “Or is there another model? Some artistic muse? What did you call that one from years ago? ‘Alright’? ”

“The model, the curator, the.. whatever, they were all… alright but… wrong. No one ever… got me,” he admits, raising his eyebrows when he sees you nodding at his use of your words. You were on the same page. “I stopped searching for someone who did…. and then I went to that party.

I always wanted that for you, Y/N, but I never realized I needed it too…”

Namjoon was at his most vulnerable, and so were you, laying your honest truth out to the person who knew you best…. But it was easier to see it in his eyes. It’s something you hadn’t seen in him since your twenties, but he seemed more sure of himself than ever. So ready to be vulnerable, so ready to be honest, so…

“So…." you say, partly thinking aloud, partly hoping Namjoon could continue the conversation.

“So, you finally get why I made that offer, way back when?” he asks.

“How did you know? We were in our twenties… Wait… did you come up with this because you had feelings for me all along?!”, you say, mouth agape in shock and amusement. You’d never doubt your friendship was a sham, but what if…

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not the Knightley to your Emma, idiot, I wasn’t attracted to you then. It was just…. something that felt right. It still does. I didn’t know… much.”

“So, the offer is still on the table?”, you ask after a moment of silence.

“Of course it is.”

“Are you 35?”

“A little older,” he winces. "All this time and you're still bad at math, huh?"

You roll your eyes. “Well, you said ‘around 35’.... so, we’re right on schedule. And I still need to be wooed, Kim Namjoon. I know you have it in you,” you smile, feeling confidence return to your bloodstream like a rush of adrenaline after years without it.

“You finally know what you deserve,” he says softly. “You are getting bewitched, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

“Bewitched and hitched?” you laugh.

“Hey, don’t come for my job. Or actually, a joint poetry book or short film shit would be nice, we should do that,” he thinks, “but yes…. bewitched and hitched.”

Staring at the man you knew so well sitting opposite you, you couldn’t wait.

“‘When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible,’” you quote quietly.

“When Harry Met Sally…,” Namjoon nods. “You loved that film.”

“I do…” you nod. “so with that in mind, how soon can we make the wedding?”

He laughs, his hand reaching for yours across the table before he stands up and envelops you in a warm, soft embrace. Taking in his familiar scent of coffee and cologne, you don’t want to let go. In any way. But he does, only to kiss you on the cheek and giggle when you tip-toe to reciprocate.

“And if we fight?”, you suddenly ask Namjoon, your demons briefly popping in to ruin the moment.

“We used to. As couples do,” he shrugs, taking your hands in his. “All those ‘if’s’ worked out in our favor, didn’t they? It didn’t seem like they did….until today.”

He brushes a hair away from your face, fingers grazing your jawline. Amidst all the familiarity of the night, this was new…. His lips slowly meet yours in a kiss as soft as summer and sweeter than the chocolate you could taste on him.

Breaking away, his hand instantly finds his stomach. You don’t need to theorize what it means, but you can’t hide the shock you’re feeling. He could be so innocent at times, you remember thinking, whenever you saw him rub his belly button every time he got butterflies from a girl.

“Wow, do people our age still get butterflies in their stomachs?” You giggle, placing your hand on his. This was definitely new ground. “And to think I caused this.”

“I hate how I could never control it, it feels like a tickle," he smiles. "Doesn’t help that I haven’t felt this in a while, though... I wish my 'tell' was as subtle as yours.”

“I have a tell?!!,” you yell, immediately wondering if anything gave away that you were feeling the same way.

“You do. Not to bring him up but I never saw it with what’s-his-face and that's when I knew… But anyways, I think I’ll keep it a secret. So you don’t make a note of it,” he says while you roll your eyes, but in doing so a book behind Namjoon catches your eye and suddenly, you remembered your surroundings.

“Anyways, is this beautiful place magically open for us to have this moment?”

“Well, if you’d say that, then I’m the wizard.”

“What?” you laugh.

“Sweetie, I own this place.”

You momentarily ignore another ‘first’ in your life, Namjoon calling you a pet name, to take in the fact that he owned the most beautiful place you’d ever seen in your life.

“You OWN this place?! And you never told me about it? This is what I feel most betrayed about, Joon,” you huff, looking around. Of course it was his. Every inch of this placed screamed his name. No wonder you loved it so much.

“I guess I have to explain this one to you, don’t I? I saved this place from going bankrupt and completely revamped it. I thought of you every step of the way and… you know, I’m a romantic. I liked to believe one day you’d find this place by chance and just get that it was mine…. And that that’s how we’d meet. There’s even a screening room upstairs, beside the mini gallery, so I’m surprised you hadn’t found this place yet. There’s even a DVD section because you went on about the importance of physical media, which I now get. You didn’t even notice the name, huh?”

You look around, finding the minimalistic lettering and logo of the place on the far wall. “Unlucky - Art. Books. Coffee.”

“I love it, Namjoon,” you say, looking around in wonder… “And let me guess, you called it ‘Unlucky’ to defy the word itself?”

He nods, smiling as he walks over to you. “We were never unlucky. We were lucky… because we had each other.”

“‘Had’… I hate that we wasted those years in between,” you whisper.

“Don’t be. The years got us here. To when we could finally have each other… again. It’s not too late if it’s the right way, the right time....”

“Let’s go back to that party,, hmm?” he says after another hug, “I’m already excited to introduce you as my fiancé.”

“And then we'll leave and talk some more. I’m not wasting a single moment of my life from now on, Kim Namjoon.”

“Of course…,” he smiles. “We’ll leave and… talk. The talking that results in the other thing we said would come with this deal.”

You pinch Namjoon’s still squishy yet firm arm before taking it in your hands as you walked back to the party, anticipating what came next.

Whether it was talking, Namjoon’s new definition of talking, hearing him introduce you as his fiancé, working with him, or even just the next minute by his side. It was the rest of your life. He was the rest of your life.

And neither of you could ever let this go. This was the love you’d both been searching for.

179 notes · View notes

insfiringyou · 2 years

Text

BTS - A Conversation by Candlelight (RM x Ji-eun)

Set two years following his release from the military, after ‘Setting a Date’, Namjoon addresses his fears about the future of his career.

*Potential trigger warning for allusions to disordered eating*

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook & our full masterlist of fanart and fanfictions can be found here

If you wish to follow all member’s storylines in chronological order from the beginning, you can find them listed here.

Content below the cut

The candlelight was kind to her features; hiding some of the dark shadows beneath her eyes and making her eyes sparkle in a way that reminded him of when they first started dating. Her hand moved to the glass of water with reassuring smoothless and Namjoon found himself relaxing further into his chair, suddenly glad he had made the reservation. It was nice to see her dressed up. At home, her clothes were increasingly casual as she worked into the long hours of the night. He was often not awake when she rose for work; donning the sharp, well-fitting suits he had come to expect. It seemed to him that he used to get up not long after her; enough time to join her for a morning tea and kiss her goodbye before she left for the day, but increasingly, the sun was high in the sky by the time he finally made it into the kitchen. He couldn’t pretend she hadn’t noticed as well…

“I’m glad that was over…”

Her voice shook him from his thoughts and he looked up, thinking for a moment she was reading his mind. The sensation was a little eerie, but seeing the downward slope of her shoulders as she sat back, taking a few, careful sips of water, made him realise his error.

“It was a difficult case…” He replied, not really a question, and she nodded slowly.

“The hardest I can remember…” She paused, a smile tugging the edges of her painted lips. “Except the Jung case.” Setting the glass back on the table, her hands folded neatly above her napkin. “That one really took it out of me.”

He remembered vividly. Not long before his enlistment; her being called into the office after midnight. The seemingly simple libel case ending with a surprise murder twist. Her phone conversations in the following weeks had been hushed; frantic. She had shown him after a single grey strand above her hairline; the result of five weeks worth of stress and worry. Although she had grown no more, at least that he could tell, it seemed to him that the true onset of ageing had happened after. Perhaps as recent as the past year. Still, he wasn’t as young as he once was.

“I’m sure they are all very proud of you.” He reassured her, taking a sip of his own water. He himself had been proud of her when the waiter asked for their order as she shooed away the wine menu. Although he had found an empty bottle half-tucked behind the picture frame in her study the previous week, it seemed to be a one-off. He hadn’t actually seen her drink for over a month.

She shook her head modestly. “It was a blip. The case really shouldn’t have taken as long as it did, but someone in the London office fucked up the paperwork.” Looking up, she took his hand in hers. “The next case seems more simple. I’ve been promised a break.”

He squeezed gently, feeling the outline of her knuckles as he did so. They protruded a little more than usual and his stomach sank for the first time that evening. Had she been eating? He hadn’t paid enough attention. Her office door was often closed; the rapid sound of typing drifting through the crack beneath the only signal of her presence. In bed, he was often asleep by the time she joined him. If her ribcage and hips were more visible, would he even notice?

“That’s good…” He murmured, barely even hearing himself. His mind was elsewhere, but the waiter’s presence behind his shoulder brought him back as they ordered food. He found himself hanging onto her every word as she read off the main menu, ordering a starter as well as a main. That was good, he thought. Her appetite hadn’t been abolished after all. Whether she would finish it all was another matter, but it was a start. Perhaps she was forgetting to eat. He could relate to that at least, though not for a while. Back when he was making music, the hours in the studio would sometimes fly by and the evening would come and go before he even thought about food. He himself ordered the same. Subconsciously knowing he would be able to tell if she left the plate whether it had genuinely been too much food to handle, or if her taste for it was truly dulled. Perhaps it was to do with the drink too. He had heard some people lose weight when they stop, though others tend to gain…He hated when his mind raced this way.

“I’m glad you booked the table.” Ji-eun whispered, almost sultrily, once the waiter had left them alone, and he felt her fingers caress the back of his hand. “It’s been too long…”

“I know.” Namjoon replied, honestly, feeling guilty. He sighed. “I didn’t want to disturb your work. I know how important this case was for you.”

“Mm. Maybe you should disturb it a little more often..” Her response surprised him, and he looked at her directly. The glimmer in her eye was back, and this time he was sure it wasn’t just the candlelight. Her eyebrow twitched and he felt his stomach grow warm. Her fingers tightened around his and his mind turned back to another tidbit of the previous week. The important news he had relayed to her one evening, making sure her laptop was closed for the night and she was settled in the living room, reading a book rather than paperwork. His stomach had been flipping incessantly, starkly unpleasant, though the news should have been good. He felt nervous, on edge, though he wanted to be the one to tell her. It wouldn’t do to have her find out another way. The news would break to the media sooner or later, and not telling her in advance would only make things worse. In truth, he too had been surprised. If any of them were going to fall pregnant, he would have guessed someone who had married. He knew Jin wanted another. Yoongi, he wasn’t sure about, but he seemed happy enough with Jeong-sun.

Ji-eun, however, had reacted calmly, passing on her congratulations without barely looking from her book. He tried to read the title from where he stood, across the room, but her long fingers obscured it from view. He had hovered, realising after he was waiting for some kind of outburst; a delayed reaction once the news set in, but none had come and he had been glad. Quietly relieved, he had texted the younger member from them both, making a mental note to call him back once he himself had processed the fact. He would make a good father, he had no doubt, but his own feelings on the matter were jumbled, confused. Namjoon wanted children; always had, but the past few years had made him uneasy. Ji-eun’s desperation only serving to widen the gap between this deep, rudimentary desire and the logical part of his brain which told him the timing wasn’t right. He knew it was harder for her, as it was for all women. Their bodies could only take so much and for so long; the window of opportunity still very much open, but not for much longer. The more they waited, the harder it might be, and would she ever forgive him for that? Still, he knew whatever he was waiting for; some cosmic message that now was the time, had not yet happened, and that night he had found himself wondering if it had been so simple for the younger member. Had he known the time was right, or had it happened anyway? His girlfriend pregnant with twins…two more children than Namjoon could envision in his own life.

“I’m sorry…” Namjoon murmured, realising some time had passed without a response. He smiled, a little sheepishly. “I was lost for a second…”

Slowly, carefully, she pulled back from his hand, just in time for the starters to arrive. He watched her eat from the corner of his eye, glad to see her clearing her plate with an appetite that was seemingly lost on him all of a sudden.

“I worry about you sometimes…” She spoke, not raising her eyes from the plate as she cut up the last few pieces of pork. Perhaps it was easier this way. “I think maybe you should go back to work. It would give you something to do.”

He found himself pulling back from the plate, now watching her fully. He hadn’t expected her to say this. His own anxieties for her had consumed everything; his whole brain, over the past few months. The possibility of her feeling the same towards him hadn’t even occurred to him. “I’ve been curating…” He argued gently, knowing as he said it that the charity work for the Leeum had been a distraction; a red-herring to cover up the emptiness he sometimes felt when alone at home, the studio seeming barren, like a worn-torn wasteland in his own mind.

“I know.” She smiled, a little emptily. “And you enjoy it.” She finally looked up, setting down her cutlery. “But you enjoy making music more, or at least you used to…”

It felt almost accusatory, though he knew there was no malice in her words. He picked at his food unappetisingly, moving it around with his chopsticks before eating a few mouthfulls. “Jungkook’s the only one who's had any real success…” He shrugged, knowing as he said it that it was a defunct excuse. “And for how much longer…” Looking up, he backtracked, avoiding the topic. “I’m not sure I can…” He sighed, finally admitting the truth. Ji-eun smiled, though it seemed sad. He wondered just how much this thought had plagued her. How much she had noticed the absence in the studio since he had returned from his duty, over two years before. He knew how relationships worked, or at least how they were supposed to work, but still, it seemed to hit him suddenly how their concern for each other worked both ways. How she loved him, just as he did her. How his troubles, as subdued as they sometimes were, troubled her as well.

“I know you can.” Her smile finally set in, feeling genuine and she once more reached for his hand across the table. “Maybe not with the others…at least not for now. But you could try writing. Producing…”

The thought was met with a kind of fear; a deep, carnal anxiety that gripped his stomach irrationally, though she seemed to coax him through it, her hand warm against his. He hadn’t realised before just how deep, how buried, his musical impotence had been. How worrying about her was sometimes easier than thinking of himself.

“You’ve always produced music, you told me…” She murmured convincely and he realised at once she could sense his fear; could feel it within him just as strongly as he felt it himself. “And you will again. You don’t have to give up the museum if you don’t want to…”

He opened his mouth to reply but found his voice stuck, though he wouldn’t know what to say even if he was able to. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, the waiter coming with the main dishes, though the man seemed to hesitate, sensing the importance of the moment. Ji-eun, seeming fully in control of her own emotions in a way he hadn’t observed for a while, gently let go of his hand and sat back in her chair, providing the opportunity for the food to be served. The waiter looked relieved but hid his thanks, instead setting the plates down quickly.

“We don’t have to talk about it now.” Ji-eun continued once they were alone. “But I’d like you to talk about it, maybe to someone else, but also to me.” She left a pregnant pause, keeping her hands to herself now the food had arrived, steaming with warmth, but he felt her sincerity along with something else. A connection, perhaps, that had been somewhat lost along the way, reforming between them.

He nodded at once, gulping to clear his throat; an unexpected bulge having formed in his windpipe. He wasn’t one to cry or get overly emotional. It had happened, once or twice, during the course of their relationship, but never enough for him to be seen by her as someone who couldn’t control himself. Now, however, he felt the dam threatening. Perhaps it would come fully later on, once they were back at home, and the usual desire to retreat would undoubtedly be at the forefront of his mind, but he wouldn’t let it. For once, he wouldn’t allow himself to hide from her; it would do no good. Instead, he picked up his chopsticks, unable to help the slight tremor in his hand as he lowered them to his bowl; knowing she would have seen and trying not to let it bother him. He had seen her tremor more than once; had grown to almost expect it earlier in the evening, and wasn’t that her being vulnerable in front of him? Whether she liked it or not. His mind conjured up a strange image in that moment, a cadaver laid open on a mortuary table; contents bare for all to witness. He had seen a painting once, a Rembrandt, that showed such a scene; the gory body surrounded by an audience. Maybe that was what being in a relationship was really like, after a while at least. Revealing your guts; as horrific as it might seem.

His hand stopped shaking as he plucked the rice and meat between the chopsticks, raising it to his lips. Opposite him, Ji-eun was eating heartily, head tucked down with purpose, and he felt glad. For a moment, his own troubles seemed far away, lost in his love for her, and he felt his stomach grumble hungrily.

***

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bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year

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Take My Picture~ Namjoon 2

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 1k

Includes- sex, riding, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @borntowalkaway @kjqueen05

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Take My Picture Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝 BTS Masterlist 📝 Namjoon Masterlist

Gif source- @namchyoon

J POV

I'm gonna kill him

He moves across the stage, rapping and having fun

And he's so fucking hot

His shirt clinging to him with sweat

His hair drenched

The camera is so close to his face, I can see droplets running down his neck and face

His gorgeous smile

My baby is the sexiest man alive

And he's turning me on, panties drenched and clinging to my pussy

It's not fair

I'm always horny during concerts because he looks so good with sweat all over him

I hate having to wait until we get home to fuck him

But I will and when we get home, he's gonna pay for making me suffer like this

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

Namjoon POV

Stepping off the stage, I walk to the back while some of the guys do their solos

I have a little bit of time to spend with my baby now

I spot her and as I walk towards her, I see her legs clenching together

She's horny and that fact just turned me on

Getting to her, I take her hand and drag her away with me, going further backstage to the dressing room and into the first room that's empty

As soon as the door closes, my lips are on hers

Her arms go around my neck while she kisses me back

Her hands move lower and she drops my pants and boxers down

"You're so fucking hot Joonie"

I smirk, "Yeah baby? I'm all sweaty though"

She scoffs, "You know I don't care about that. You know I think it's hot"

I know she does

It's crazy but she really doesn't care if I'm sweaty

I pull her with me to the chair in the room and sit down with her standing in front of me and I reach up her skirt

Thank God she listened to me and wore one

"No more panties when we're at a concert", I growl, pulling and snapping the strings, ripping them off, "I want you bare and ready all the time"

She bites her lip and nods

Her lip biting fucking kills me

Everytime

I love it

"Get on my cock and ride me fucking hard", I order

She immediately climbs on me and takes me inside her, sliding down my length until she's sitting on my legs

"Fuck baby, you feel so fucking good", I moan, "So goddamn tight"

"Mm baby, you're so big. Love having your cock stretch me open"

I know she loves it

She's on my dick all the time

She starts moving slowly, up and down, pleasure filling my body

She starts squeezing my cock with her pussy, making herself tighter and holy shit the pleasure becomes so intense

She knows I love when she does that

"Like it baby?", she whispers in my ear, "You like the way I fuck you?"

"Yyyy....yes...oh god yes", I moan

Sex with her is the best I ever had

She knows what to do to my body to get me off

And she always gives me what I want

I glance up at her, her eyes closed as she moves harder on me and she's fucking biting her lower lip again

I pull her to me and kiss her, my tongue against hers

I love the feeling I get when I kiss her, like everything in me comes alive, like she was meant for me

Because she was meant for me and I was meant for her

She kisses me back, bouncing harder

When she comes back down, I thrust up and hit her exactly where I want to, right into her spot

"Fuck", she cries, her hands burying in the back of my hair and pulling tightly

I love that spot inside her that causes intense pleasure

I know where it is and I always give it to her hard right there

The orgasms she get from there are so fucking powerful and I love to watch her

Love to feel them

I slam there again and once more, then she cums hard, screaming my name

"Namjoon, Namjoon!"

I love hearing her scream my name

God she feels so good, her body shivering and holding on me so tightly as pure pleasure runs through my body

"Again baby girl. Give it to me again", I whisper, slamming into her again, over and over

"Yes Joonie, God Namjoon!"

She explodes again in seconds, her pussy creaming my cock so much

I know I'm running out of time but I want more

"One more baby", I demand, moving her along my cock as I bury deep inside her

I thrust up as hard as I can and her body slams into mine when her back arches and she cums so fucking intensely

"Namjoon", she screams at the top of her lungs.

It feels incredible and I cum so goddamn hard, screaming her name

"Joanne baby girl, Joanne, fuck!!!"

"Joonie", she sighs softly, taking all my cum deep inside her

I pull her to me in a kiss as I finish, arms around each other

All too soon we have to pull away

I do have a concert to finish

I'll kiss her everywhere later when we get home

We get dressed quickly, then she takes my hand pulling me out of the room

"Hurry Joonie", she says, "You gotta change then go on"

I just smile at her worry

They can't go on without me so they have to wait

We weren't long anyway

Right before we get backstage, I stop her and spin her to me

"I love you"

"I love you too Joonie", she smiles

I kiss her soft lips, so grateful I have her

The kiss ends and we continue walking, where I'm immediately pulled into wardrobe

I glance back at her and she smiles giving me a thumbs up

After getting dressed, I go back on stage, exited for the night I have planned for my baby

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joheunsaram · 2 years

Text

Discord Discourse (knj) - 2

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summary- Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server... dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?

word count- 1.2k

pairing- idol!Namjoon x fanfic writer!Reader

rating- PG15

genre- internet relationships, s2f2(maybe)lovers, angst, fluff

warnings- none

a.n.- well once again my dumbass turned a story into a series. enjoy this part! more to come <3

Thanks to the beautiful @raplinesmoon for helping me brainstorm, and @oftenderweapons and @jeonspub for beta reading!

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

Namjoon is live: Birthday!!

You stared at the notification on your phone, your heart racing. Your legs felt numb just like your fingers – a chill going through your body. This was probably not a normal reaction to finding out that one of the people you considered your close friends was a world famous celebrity. But you couldn’t help the way your entire body wanted to cringe, throwing you back into the moment where an innocent voice chat turned into a life changing reveal.

You were a bit hesitant accepting the video chat initially, afraid that the nice guy you had a bizarre number of things in common with and flirted with occasionally would turn out to be a creep masturbating. Who knew what you saw on the screen was far more traumatizing?

It was fanfic fodder, a storyline life handed to you neatly tied with a bow. You were the main characters you wrote about, that thousands, if not millions, hoped to be. Yet, all you could have was a visceral reaction to the sheer embarrassment of your conversations with him. You had even sent him pictures of him while talking to him about all the depraved things you wanted to do. Not to mention that he had read almost all of your fics, some bordering on so explicit that you hoped no one you knew ever read them. Perhaps that’s why you were so open with him. He provided you with an outlet that your real life friends didn’t. He was safe, a faceless Dragonite icon that shared your love of philosophy and loved to read in too deep on every piece of media you encountered.

Until he was the last person you ever thought he’d be – the subject of your 3 am horny ravings, Kim Namjoon.

Perhaps if you were cooler, more confident, you would’ve turned on the camera as well, chatted with him all nonchalant like a real fanfic protagonist, but instead you blocked him after a half hearted apology. Oh god. You wondered if the rest of the band knew about your stories and if you were now going to be banned as a stalker. Would you even be able to attend one of his concerts again?

But even as you thought of those scenarios, you knew that the John you had been talking to wasn’t like that. Even the Namjoon that you knew from the vlogs and the documentaries didn’t seem like that. The message he had sent you last night on your blog proved that he still wanted to be friends.

Your earlier conversations, however, were still something you couldn’t wrap your head around. John wasn’t someone you talked to occasionally. You talked to him almost daily, about his life, his struggles. The two of you never shared many identifying details with each other, but you knew when he went to the gym, what his favourite food was, how much he hated travelling on planes, and even his kinks! Merging the image of John with Namjoon was not only difficult, it seemed impossible. How could the guy who had once sent you porn to help inspire your next smut scene be the same guy who was on the framed poster next to your bookshelf?

Clicking on the notification, you braced yourself as the video stream popped up to show the subject of your cognitive dissonance. Dressed in a grey hoodie, he spoke in Korean, showing off the art on his walls. You couldn’t help how the blood rushed to your cheeks, how your palms became clammy.

You were never one of those fans who looked out for how idols were feeling, or read too much into their expressions. But as you looked at him through the screen you wondered why he was alone last night, chatting with you for hours. His eyes seemed sunken, his dark circles visible even behind whatever filter he was using. He seemed tired and your conversations with John flooded your mind.

I wish I could just stop being me sometimes. I love my job and all the work I’ve done but sometimes it’d be nice to just disappear.

He had sent you that out of the blue on a random morning and you had assumed he was being hyperbolic. He had told you his job was draining and you had assumed he was under pressure from his boss. It was jarring to see the man who had confessed that to you and you felt a pang of empathy dissipate through your body.

Namjoon on the screen showed off his cake, his raspy voice singing happy birthday to himself and breaking you out of your reverie. For the first time, you saw him as a friend and not a celebrity. A friend sitting alone in his house singing to himself because his job required him to do so.

You sighed. What were you doing by blocking him? It wasn’t his fault that he was who he was. Other than not telling you his identity, you had no doubt that the year of conversations you had with him were genuine. He was kind and sincere, and a cloud of guilt rose inside you. You were a terrible friend. He didn’t know anything about you either.

“I have to go soon but thank you for being here with me and celebrating my birthday. I love you guys,” Namjoon said through the screen, his phone now held in his hand as he leaned back in his chair. His eyes locked onto the camera and your mouth ran dry when he smiled his perfectly dimpled smile.

“Before I go I just wanna say thank you for liking the stuff I make. I write all of these songs and lyrics for you and sometimes I can’t believe that I get to share a part of me with you all. Some of you guys have said I inspire you and you have no idea how much that means to me. So please if anything I have ever made or said or done inspires you to create something new, please, please don’t stop. Because you’re an inspiration to me too.”

Namjoon rarely spoke in English at length during his livestreams and the fact that he did now made a glimmer of hope spark inside you. Perhaps you didn’t have to lose your friendship to humiliation. Perhaps you could salvage this and be brave for once.

With shaking hands you went into discord, typing a message into your chat with Namjoon, and when you hit send you got to witness his reaction in real time for the first time ever.

On your screen you heard the loud buzz of his phone, his eyes trailing to the top of his phone before he broke into a huge grin. Your lips moved automatically, mirroring his smile.

He ended his livestream with a few finger hearts and a goodbye, and ten seconds later you had a new message.

yn: I would love to be friends if you’ll have me still john: thank god! you have no idea how happy this makes me

As you read his message, your smile grew and you forgot why you were embarrassed in the first place. Kim Namjoon was your friend, and you had never felt luckier than in that moment.

Thank you for reading this fic! If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback!

Please reblog and check out more stories on my masterlist <3

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emerald-notes · 2 years

Text

True Self - Part 3 (Final)

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Idol!Namjoon x Female Reader Genre: Fluff and Angst Warning: None I hope so... Word Count: 1k Words Note: Please bear it in mind that it’s totally fictional. I tried my best to include some of the aspects of Namjoon in here. Personally I think, Namjoon is one of the best men to ever exist. Wish I could do him justice.

Summary: When everything seemed like they’re falling apart, you figure out Namjoon’s true self, making you fall in love with him...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

*************************************************

We were finally having the vacation on our own as Namjoon had promised. I was relieved to be seemingly far away from the world, Namjoon by my side without anyone to interfere, relaxing peacefully after some stressful days.

I was sleeping better being cuddled up with Namjoon at night. Waking up next to him was the most comforting experience. Just watching him sleep with his mouth slightly open could make my day better.

I realized I was noticing his very small habits and I found them adorable. One of them, which I was absolutely in love with, was seeing him read. Every morning he would read for at least an hour and sometimes more. I would occasionally accompany him and read too. Sometimes I would sit beside and watch him read for hours.

We would go to art museums together and interpreted them in our own ways. Once we became so passionate about our views that we ended up having a heated discussion. But we made up at night when I bought him gummy bears.

We would watch dramas or movies together at night. Usually he would let me pick up my favorite movies to watch. Even there, we wouldn’t shut up about putting forward our theories and analyzing characters.

This creative and liberal way of thinking was something I appreciated the most in him. I was glad he didn’t think of me as crazy because I was always too obsessed over fictional worlds. Sometimes, I scared myself thinking that everything was a dream and one day I would wake up to find out that there was no existence of him and all of it were actually my imagination.

But we surely had our differences. Even though it might sound petty, a huge incident took place due to this. And it was hilarious.

Namjoon had planned to surprise me by taking me blindfolded to the seaside where there were a lot of crabs. And let me get this straight; he absolutely loved crabs while I absolutely hated them.

As soon as the blindfold was taken off, I was screaming and jumping as if my feet was on fire. Namjoon was too confused for a whole minute until he realized I was screaming in fear and not because I was excited to see them. Finally Namjoon had to give me a piggy ride from the seashore back to the hotel.

*************************************************

We were sitting at the beach waiting for the sunset. I was a little upset since it was our last day of the vacation. I wasn't ready to go back just then.

"What are you thinking about, darling?" Namjoon asked as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"About how life is going to be like once we go back." I sighed.

He placed his hand on my head softly, caressing my hair, "you worry a little too much about the future."

"Can't help it." I shrugged my shoulder.

"I have a proposal to make." He sat straight facing me, "I want you to hear me out."

I nodded, letting him know that he had my full attention.

"I did a little thinking," He said, "not little, a lot of thinking actually."

"About what?"

"About us." He took my hands in his, "I will make it official."

"What?" My eyes were wide in shock.

"Yeah," He said rather calmly, "I know my fans. They will always support me. No matter what!"

I was silent, unable to believe what I was hearing. My heart was beating fast. I was afraid. Afraid because I feared I would lose him.

"Now, here's my real proposal." He squeezed my hands softly, "Will you come stay with me?"

"Are you sure about all these?" I asked.

"Of course, darling. It's about time we made our decisions for our sakes. I don't want to hide away anymore. Let's face it together."

I nodded again. "But I don't want to lose you." I couldn't hold it back.

"Why are you worried about losing me, darling?"

I shrugged my shoulders again. We remained silent for some time.

"Look!" He pointed at the sky, "The sun's setting already. So, shall we kiss, now?"

I laughed out at this. Then, he cupped my face in his huge hands and leaned to kiss me.

When he let go, I said, "Yes, I will stay with you."

*************************************************

At first I was overwhelmed by all the attention from the media and my surrounding as well. My friends who were out of touch for a long time started to check on me, asking me all sorts of questions regarding Namjoon and other members.

But like Namjoon had said, I got used to it eventually. I started to receive lots of love from his fans too. They started to appreciate Namjoon’s decision and respected our privacy.

Now, I had moved to live with him on his house. It wasn’t very far away from mine. So that, my mother and sister would occasionally come to pay us a visit and I could go back too.

The wildest experience I had in my entire life was going to the tour with Namjoon. It was so exciting and exhausting at the same time. I got closer to the other members too. Seeing them from up close, I was really fascinated by the strong bond they share.

I saw the emotions that filled Namjoon up every time after a performance. He loved his fans very much and they meant a lot to him. I considered myself very lucky to get to know this side of him.

Namjoon always liked to work on his music alone. So, I would always let him be and didn’t bother him in any ways. But one day, he asked me to accompany him while he worked.

I said, “But I thought you like working alone.”

“Yeah,” he said, “But sometimes it gets a little lonely in there. I want you by my side for the new song I’m working on.”

“Why?” I asked, “Is it about me?”

“Don’t worry,” Namjoon smiled and said, “You’ll be the first to know.”

*************************************************

“It’s so hot,” I said, breathing heavily, “Let’s go back.”

“C’mon,” Namjoon pouted, “A few more hours, please.”

“A few more hours?” I gasped, “I’m gonna pass out anytime now.”

Namjoon stopped his bike in front of a store. We both got down and went inside to get some cold drinks and ice creams. It was a rather hot summer day. Namjoon had planned to take me to a bike ride to nowhere since he took some time off work after a long time.

“Mint chocolate!” he exclaimed in disgust, “I can’t believe you like this flavor.”

“Thank God I tried it with Hobi,” I said sarcastically, “it’s my favorite one now.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes and said, “I hope our children don’t get your taste in foods.”

“What did you say?” I stopped licking my ice cream.

“You heard me.” He stood up, “Now let’s get moving.”

Once again we were back on the road. Namjoon riding aimlessly forward, speeding up by the time. I hugged him tighter from behind. The wind was rushing towards my face blowing my hair which were sticking out from the helmet. At that moment I had a sudden urge to say it to Namjoon.

“I love you.” I said.

“What?” he was shouting through the sound of the blowing wind, “Did you say something? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said,” I screamed at the top of my lungs, “I LOVE YOU KIM NAMJOON.”

Yes. It was my first time confessing to him.

*************************************************

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