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#rm x reader
lavienjin · 2 days ago
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bothered (teaser) | knj
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PUBLISHING: September 27th
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synopsis: namjoon has tried so hard to bury his attraction for you, especially upon discovering that his youngest brother feels the same way. but you just had to make it difficult by showing up in a dress much too short and tight for your figure as you innocently beg for him to lend his body for practice.
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pairing: architect!namjoon x reader
wc: 472 (for the teaser)
genre/au/rating: 18+ | brother's best friend, love triangle | smut, angst
warnings: none (for the teaser)
author's note: huge thanks to @knjsnoona for the lovely banner. please give amelia some love <33 reply to this post/send an ask if you'd like to be tagged, unless you're already part of my permanent taglist! got some thoughts? i'd love to hear them!
m.list
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“I’m going to ask her out.”
Namjoon spits his coffee back into the mug, hissing at his scalded tongue. Pulling a handkerchief from his suit jacket, he dabs the corners of his lips as he glares at the youngest Kim. “What are you talking about?”
At the mention of your name, Namjoon blinks, hands frozen in place while his brother’s words stab like arrows into his speeding heart.
“Next week, for her birthday, I planned this romantic dinner for the both of us in her favourite restaurant. I rented the entire place out and even hired a string quartet to serenade us while we eat.” Taehyung tugs at the ends of his bangs as he grins sheepishly.
“Wow! Taehyung! That’s, um, great! I’m sure she’ll love it.” There’s a disquiet in Namjoon’s stomach and his cheeks hurt from maintaining the plastic smile; his face frozen in place after hearing the revelation. He wants nothing more than to run, especially since the oxygen around him seems too thin, definitely the reason for his hitched breathing, yet his feet remain firmly glued to the carpet flooring of his office. Clearing his throat in hopes that his voice doesn’t break, Namjoon continues, “Uh… I didn’t know you liked her. I could’ve sworn I had to pull you away from her so she wouldn’t bite your pinky off.”
“Oh my god, that was when we were babies.” With a hearty chuckle, Taehyung rolls his eyes before he looks wistfully at the portrait of the three of you hanging on the wall. “Honestly, I also couldn’t believe that we used to hate each other. It took us moving to a different city for college and not knowing each anyone else for us to become friends… And now, I don’t think I can live without her.”
Neither could I. But Namjoon swallows the words alongside a long sip of coffee.
He’s unable to look at Taehyung’s smiling face – at the hope and excitement that resides in the obsidian irises that’s identical to his own.
A small beeping noise breaks the boys from their thoughts and Taehyung glances at his phone with a smile Namjoon knows all too well.
Because it’s the same smile he wears when he receives a text from you.
“Speak of the angel,” he chuckles as he types quickly into his phone. “I gotta go. Looks like my presence is needed elsewhere.”
Taehyung finishes the last of his coffee and places it on the saucer with a loud clink. As he stands and heads to the oak doors leading out of Namjoon’s office, he turns back and waves. “Wish me luck, won’t you?”
And though Namjoon replies with a strained, but cheerful “yeah” just before Taehyung disappears, what he hopes is for his youngest sibling’s plans to crash and burn into a million tiny flames.
321 notes · View notes
yoonia · a month ago
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once upon an us [m] | knj
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❥ Summary | You have spent years building a life of your own until you find yourself living a life that every little girl could have ever dreamed of. With a promising career and an expensive apartment in the big city, the only thing left is the fairytale wedding that you had wished for since you were a little girl. When the one you believe to be your prince charming finally comes into your life, you start to believe that dreams do come true. But you also know that things aren’t always as simple as it seems, when there is still a piece of your past that is still tethering you back from reaching for it.
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❥ Title | Once Upon an Us
❥ Pairings | Kim Namjoon x female reader
⤑ Genre | Past Lovers!au, Exes to Lovers!au, Established relationship, Angst, Rom-com, Fluff, Smut
⤑ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature
⤑ Warnings | Mentions of miscarriage, grief, characters making bad decisions, fake relationship(-ish) trope, Namjoon as a (former) basketball player, some cliche scenes as part to romcoms (sharing a bed, lots of arguments), technically involves infidelity, sexual tension, lots of kissing, dry humping, outdoor foreplay, public sex, breast play, clothed foreplay, clothed sex, denied orgasm, hair pulling, fingering (female), oral sex (female, including clit play, implied biting), unprotected sex, rough sex, mention of multiple orgasms, implied creampie.
⤑ Word count | 47k words (I am so sorry!!!)
⤑ Cross Post | AO3 | Inkitt 
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❥ Author’s Note | This story is written as a part of the ‘Christmas in July’ project, for the ‘Winter Wedding Season’ category, an event hosted by @kookdiaries, @kithtaehyung, and @xiaokoo. This fic is loosely inspired by the movie Sweet Home Alabama (2002) | Thank you @theodea for reading through this on such a short notice (I love you, bub!) and for my sprint mates and fellow camp nano-ers who kept hyping me up in this journey @softyoongiionly @randombtsprincessa @yeoldontknow 
❥ Song Companion | Sabrina Claudio - Belong To You (feat. 6lack) ● Daughter - Landfill ● ORKID - Only If You Want To ● Jutes - We Good ● Standing Egg - Ironic
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There is always something to be said about little girls and their big dreams.
The way their innocence allows them to conjure imaginations that are beyond any adult mind could comprehend. To have their minds going places without any worries of facing the reality of life, without any barriers or limits to how far their extensive imagination would go as they create all the scenarios involving their whole life—starting with the paths where they want to go in life, the person they imagine they would become, the people they want to meet, and everything that they want to achieve.
For a lot of people who had known you since you were a little girl, this is exactly how they had seen you and has continued to remember you with. A dreamer. The little girl who would paint a big picture inside your head that you would often get stuck in your own world, oftentimes too stubborn to look at the present or the world around you and to simply follow the course that your life was taking you into.
The little girl in you had dreamt of becoming your own princess, just like the ones you have read in the storybooks that your parents used to read you before bed. You dreamt about living in a castle somewhere at the top of the mountains—just like the mountains that you had always seen growing up at home. You dreamt about having all the fancy things that princesses would acquire and being spoiled with the pleasure of the admiration and praises from all the people that you would surround yourself with.
As you grew older, your dreams began to manifest into something more real. When you knew that, in reality, it would be impossible for you to build your own castle, you began to turn your dreams and use them to build a plan of uprooting your life. From the small-town girl that everyone knew into someone who has a lot more, achieving everything through an elaborate plan that you had concocted so perfectly for yourself—to move into the big city, to have your own place, switching from living in the old brick house in your family’s property to affording a fancy apartment which looked similar to those you have seen in the movies, and to have a great career, something that would be enough to allow you to buy your own fancy things the way you couldn’t afford to as a child.
Soon, you would learn that the journey to fulfilling your dreams would not be as easy as how you had pictured it as a child. If there is something for you to learn as an adult, is that there is also always something to be said about life, about its twists and turns, the surprises and the secrets looming in every corner, and how easy it would be for someone like you to get caught drifting in the tide if you are not prepared for it.
It had taken you far and through a tumultuous course of life to be in this moment, to find yourself living in the big city, with a good job and a rising career that had put a roof over your head—specifically the two-bedroom apartment located in the heart of the city which would have costed a living if you hadn’t been lucky enough to have the kind of income that you earn from your fancy job.
Sometimes, it still feels unbelievable to think that you had somewhat managed to bring your dreams into reality, though the years of hard work to make it all happen have managed to keep your foot on the ground, keeping you humble despite everything that you had gone through. The journey started the day you left the small town where you were born and raised, stepping out of your comfort zone to begin your own adventure. It was all followed by the years you spent studying in law school, then building up your career while constantly proving yourself against the people who had once looked down on you along with all the vicious male competitors at work for you to become the person that you are today.
Looking back at your journey and at everything that you had accomplished for the past seven years, to see for yourself just how you had managed to survive all the tides that fate had thrown at you should be able to make you feel happy and content. The life that you had built up to today has gone beyond whatever you had imagined and there is no chance in hell you would ever trade it for anything else.
Not even for a fraction of a memory that you had to sacrifice many years ago.
But sometimes, you still find it hard to savour everything. Not when you still constantly feel like you are missing something, as if there is a piece of you that had been mislaid, lost, perhaps forgotten in the midst of walking down your path to finding your happy ending.
And the void has only been getting stronger because you know that the little girl inside you is still refusing to give up on her fairy tale ending and has always been so demanding that she wants to have it just the way the old storybooks that she had read as a child had been telling them.
In the fairy tales that you had once adored as a child, each of their stories had always ended with the Princesses meeting their Prince Charming, to have them falling in love, and have their union defeat all the bad until there is nothing left but the good. Just like everything else that you have acquired in life, this had also been a part of the dream that you had manifested in your mind as a little girl. To finally end your story by finding someone who could sweep you off of your feet the same way you read them in those storybooks, before riding into the sunset to mark the end of your lone journey and the start of your journey together with the one you love.
There had been many years of waiting, of picturing how it should be when the moment would finally come. But despite all the scenarios that you had planned and played out in your head each time you wondered about it in the past, never once had you imagined that it would be something like this.
“Babe?”
You snap out of it when his voice comes to your senses, shaking you out of your wandering thoughts and pulling you back to the present. Back to the man who is still down on the floor, resting on one knee right before you. He is now wearing a nervous smile on his face while his eyes carry a ton of questions, no doubt for having you falling silent instead of jumping up and down in joy after what he had initially asked of you. Your eyes fall on his hands. The same hands that have been holding out a small box with a glowing diamond ring sitting at its center, and you immediately remember what had just happened before time suddenly stopped still for you to send your mind wandering off to the past.
“M-Matthew—” your voice comes out small when you finally manage to speak, though the words still seem to refuse to come out.
“What do you say, babe? Will you marry me?” he asks again, as if you hadn’t heard him the first time, and you can see his gaze flickering, looking vulnerable when you have yet to give him an answer.
A hush comes from around you as the people who have been witnessing this moment unfolding are beginning to whisper. Some talking with curiosity while others seem to be growing more impatient on Matthew’s behalf.
‘She’s still in shock,’ says one voice. ’I think he’s made her speechless,’ says another. You don’t even make any effort to look around to see who is speaking and who is probably sneering at you, still too stunned into silence at the sight of the man before you. You can feel their gazes on you even without looking over, though you try not to let their presence intimidate and haunt you, letting them fade into the background while you focus on steadying your breath.
The words are there on the tip of your tongue, but your racing heartbeat makes it hard for you to find your voice to speak it out loud. Despite the fact that you had known for quite some time that he had been planning for this, having heard him talking and insinuating for this moment to finally happen, you never expected for him to do this here and definitely not right at this moment. Right in the middle of the important office event, everyone has gathered for the night to celebrate his promotion as a partner. He was supposed to be the one who is standing in the limelight, the one who is supposed to become the main part of the event, and he certainly was not supposed to pull you with him under that spotlight which now seems to be pointing straight at you.
But perhaps this is his fairy tale ending too. Something that he had planned to happen right at the same time he finally acquired his goal, putting an end to his lone journey to start a new one with you. As the thought occurs to you, the answer comes to you pretty easily.
“Yes,” you finally give your answer out loud, and your pounding heartbeat intensifies just as your joy begins to take over, coming out in waves, eliminating all the doubts that had been weighing inside your chest. “Yes, Matthew. The answer is yes. I’ll marry you.”
While everyone around you cheers to celebrate, Matthew jumps onto his feet and wraps you in his arms. As someone who always appears so calm and composed whether he is in the courtroom or within the conference meeting rooms, Matthew has never had any hesitation in showing his feelings for you whenever he is in public. And you have grown used to it by now that you simply laugh with him as he envelopes you with his big arms, lifting you up and spinning you around with him, before taking your lips in his in a quick celebratory kiss and then finally letting you go.
Your head is still spinning and your mind still feels slightly fuzzy when he takes your hand and gently slides the beautiful ring onto your finger. Everything seems so surreal that you are almost convinced that you are dreaming, that nothing about this is actually happening. But then Matthew helps you feel everything once again, bringing your senses back alive and your mind back to focus as he pulls you in his arms once more so he can capture your lips, giving you a kiss that is much deeper in his joy.
This is it, you wonder to yourself as you slowly give in, wrapping your arms around his neck as you return his kiss and lean into his embrace.
The happy ending of your own fairy tale. Your Prince Charming.
The feeling of his heart beating against your chest makes his presence more real. To allow you to realise that this is all happening. But the moment he lets you go, giving you a chance to pull away from the kiss and look at his face, the reality of your life and of what had just transpired finally begin to sink in.
The happiness you are feeling now should have you feeling ecstatic, to be able to cheer just as loud as the guests in the office party who had become the witnesses to this wondrous moment and to savour it with a smile on your face which should be just as wide as Matthew’s as he looks at you with wonders in his eyes.
“I love you,” he whispers, keeping his forehead resting on yours as he keeps holding you in his arms, swaying you gently with him as he moves from side to side to enjoy the faint hum of the music playing from the speakers while everyone else returns to the enjoy their drinks.
You look up at him, returning his smile when you whisper, “Love you too,” making his smile grow wider as he savours the words you have given him before he pulls you back against his chest. You enjoy making him smile, and you revel in the joy brewing inside you knowing that you make him happy. And yet you can still feel the sinking feeling that comes to you in the form of the shadow from your past, reminding you of the reason why you are still unable to fall freely into this joy, to savour it the way you are supposed to. And you hate not being able to enjoy this moment when deep down you know that you deserve every bit of the happy ending now being offered to you.
Wrapping your arms around Matthew’s waist, you close your eyes and bask in his warmth. It pains you to know just how happy he is about this moment while you are filled with a dreadful pang of guilt pinching at your chest.
As you let him continue to guide you into a slow dance right in the middle of the dance floor, you begin to silently write a new elaborate plan inside your head, writing another scenario that would allow you to finally embrace the happiness being gifted to you, starting from going back home to face the shadows of your past and the life that you had left behind when you began writing your own story.
Because something is tethering you back into that life still, a secret that would be enough to shatter the life that you have built for yourself, your future, and perhaps any happiness that is waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.
And you know that it is time for you to set everything loose for once and for all. All for the sake of moving on and for you to embrace your new beginning.
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Your flight home had never felt this long before. Not for a trip that was supposed to have been a quick one. It isn’t as if your hometown is somewhere across the globe or even all the way across the country. It just didn’t help that you had been anxious all through the trip that it simply felt as if the plane had been crawling in the air, making it appear as if time simply stood still while you were up there. With your stomach constantly churning, you couldn’t even indulge yourself in the alcohol drinks they were offering on the flight to help you pass the time.
Stepping out of the plane has not done much to ease the anxiety you felt, and yet you simply force yourself to hold it back down and act as if you still have control over everything. You have even chosen to grab a rental car from the airport instead of taking the cab home, hoping that driving the car would help clear your head a little and perhaps force you to focus instead of letting your mind constantly wandering out of control.
Once you start driving away from the airport, you soon find that you were right, after all. The action has your mind focusing that it leaves no space for your anxiety to take over. Though it doesn’t stop other emotions to come through you. Watching the scenery as you drive the car slowly down the road, you relish on the feeling of melancholy that suddenly overwhelms you. And yet, at the same time, you still find it hard to just relax and give in to the moment. But only because everything that you are looking out on as you drive past the town road and its old buildings all seem odd to you, and somewhat foreign.
It had been seven years ago when you left this town for the first time. Leaving behind the heartache, the grief, the physical pain that had been a part of you, a reminder of what you had lost, and you had done it all simply to continue on living.
Up until three years ago, you had been coming home often, either it was to spend the holidays with your family or to simply visit your parents on their birthdays or on the weekends where you would be free with a chance for a long break. But then things changed, when everything fell apart all so suddenly and you no longer had any reason to come back when the last string of hope that you were still holding on to for you to survive was ripped away from you.
It was not too long after when you got the permanent position in the law firm you are working at, and while work had always been so rough and so busy even around the holidays, it had helped give you the escape you had needed to stay away. It might have been unfair for you to use your job as your excuse to keep your distance, and for you to use it as a reason not to come home as often as you had wanted, but it was a small sacrifice to what you had wanted to gain. Ever since then the only way you could ever celebrate Christmas with your family had only been done through video calls instead of being there in person. Though your heart kept telling you that it wasn’t enough, you simply had to make do, and your parents had no other choice but to understand and to let it continue on for a while.
Being here now, looking out the window to watch the town as you drive right by, you can feel a nagging feeling inside you that tells you how much you no longer belong in this place. Especially now, when you are about to embark a new journey that doesn’t involve any part of your past.
Thinking about the recent events happening in your life, specifically on the one that is about to change the entire course of your life, only brings your mind back to Matthew.
You have always been a terrible liar, and the guilt of lying to Matthew about this abrupt homecoming is still clawing at you in the chest. Rubbing your palm against the source of the painful pinch you are feeling, you recall the day when you had to tell him about coming home to see your parents in order to send them the news of your engagement.
And that you would need to do it without him.
Having only started dating each other for 8 months, Matthew had never gotten a chance to get to know the side of you that you had left behind. He had only known you as the woman who would always come early every morning and the last one to leave the office at night. And then last year, after facing a case that had gotten you stuck with him in the office on the night before Christmas, it had been the side of you that you had painted for everyone around you to see—the hardworking city girl with no baggage or secrets, and perhaps not even a personal life—that had managed to catch his attention first. He had never known you as the small-town girl who had once think highly of the holiday tradition that you had with your family, who would stay up all night to set up all the Christmas decorations to light up the whole house when you weren’t stuck in the kitchen helping your mother with her Christmas meal or when you weren’t helping your brother wrap up all the gifts until blisters would start growing on the tip of your fingers from working with all the glues and tapes.
So the moment you got a strong reaction from Matthew about you seeing your parents without him and that you would be staying with them for the holidays, you had been ready for it. Though it had needed a lot of convincing on your part still to make sure that he wouldn’t insist on tagging along and ruining your whole plan.
“How long will you be gone?” he asked you the morning he was driving you off to the airport, once he was open to the idea of letting you travel home on your own.
“Just one week, only until the day after Christmas, then I’ll come back as soon as I can so I can spend New Year’s Eve with you. I promise,” you had answered him then, appeasing him by giving him what he had wanted to hear while silently repeating it inside your head as a promise to yourself, setting up a time limit as you set out to clear out the final hurdle getting in the way of your new beginning with your fiancé.
It wouldn’t be easy. Even as you were thinking about doing this and way before you even decided to fly all the way here to make this happen, you had known that this would not be an easy task. But it needs to be done, and it needs to happen soon, and the last thing you would ever let yourself do is to get swayed away from your goal the moment you take action, just like it had happened before.
But you cannot afford for it to happen again. Not now, not ever, and especially not after all sacrifices that you had made the day you left this town for good three years ago.
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Not too many changes had been done to the house that you grew up in since the last time you were home.
The wallpapers and the floorboards had been changed, and you also know that your Dad had done some renovating over the years that you were mostly gone, but he kept a lot of part from the old house to make it look all the same. You can still breathe in the faint scent of stale paint and glue and must from old wood lingering in the air, though everything feels muted when they are mixed with the scent of fresh paint and freshly cut wood that still remains after the past renovations.
All the mixed fragrances are soon masked away with a set of new ones, as the delectable aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the meat dish cooking in the oven continue wafting in the air as your mother makes her way back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room to set up dinner. Your mother had made it obvious that your arrival had been a surprising one, when she screamed at the top of her lungs the moment she opened the front door to see you standing there on the other side. Especially since you had no chance to let her know about your sudden visit, an afterthought that had only occurred to you the moment you were knocking on the door. But she was quick to recover from her shock, replacing it with excitement and had instantly taken action in preparing a large dinner to welcome you even if your Dad and your brother have yet to arrive home.
“How was your flight? Did they serve you one of those snack boxes like the one I got when I came home from seeing you last time? Unless you got on the first class flight. They still serve you a full course meal for those expensive tickets they’re selling, don’t they?” Your mother keeps throwing random questions as she is busy preparing the meal, while she keeps insisting that you simply remain in your seat instead of helping her with her tasks. You only respond to her questions with one short answer at a time while trying to sneak in some lending hand whenever she isn’t looking—from checking on the oven’s heat to stirring the pot of meatball sauce while she has her hands full with the other.
“Have you gone to see anyone yet since you landed? Have you heard from Missy? Did you hear that she’s pregnant with her third child? Third!” your mother keeps rambling on, waving her spatula at you while speaking louder with her voice rising with each sentence. You have no idea whether she is completely hyped over the fact that your childhood best friend is having another little one on the way or if she is just happy to have you home this year after your long absence in the house. Even better, that you had arrived a lot earlier and with almost a week to spare before Christmas would arrive.
Her joy is somehow contagious that you cannot help but laugh just as she accidentally splatters some sauce anywhere but the pot where the fresh sauce is boiling.
“Mom, slow down. You’re tossing that tomato sauce all over the kitchen,” you tell her while pointing at her spatula and the sauce dripping from it before she tosses it back to the pot where her special meatball dish is currently cooking. “And no, I haven’t gone to see anyone yet. I drove straight here and avoided going through downtown—”
To avoid having people seeing me around before I can at least prepare myself to deal with them and all their questions, you silently add.
“I haven’t even called Missy yet. Maybe I will in the morning or I can go the her family’s diner a bit later to pay a visit.”
Your mother shakes her head. “You must be exhausted. Look at those bags under your eyes, and have you been eating properly?” she keeps asking you while pinching at your cheeks. “You always work so hard and I know that you’d be skipping meals if I don’t call you everyday to remind you of it.”
“I’m fine, Mom. It’s probably just the jet-lag,” you simply answer her before she would go ranting about the way you have been living in the big city. She had always been giving you the same lecture after she had caught you red-handed tossing away a week worth of takeout boxes out of your apartment when she made a sudden visit to see you. Then, as if your body agrees with you, you suddenly feel your shoulders dropping and you find yourself yawning.
“Oh, look at you,” your mother comments right as she sees it. “There will be no more of you going around town tonight. We’re going to sit down for dinner and then you’re going to go upstairs to sleep it off.”
You open your mouth to protest, only to have your mother shaking her head and pushing you away from the frying pan that you have been fiddling with. “Now, go sit back down! Don’t you dare think that I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing. Now, shoo!”
You laugh softly as you let her kick you out of the kitchen while muttering, “Yes, mother.”
Not long after, your mother sits with you at the dining table as she tries to feed you every single meal on the table while asking about how your life has been. Your father is still out at work, giving the two of you a chance to catch up more freely and for you to gently bring up the real reason why you had returned home without the intense way your father would be reading through your lies if he had been home already.
You had tossed the engagement ring into your purse when you first arrived, keeping it hidden from your mother’s eyes. Despite the fact that you have only had it on for a few weeks, you still feel like there is something missing as you raise your left hand up. You can barely ignore the indentation on your ring finger that you keep rubbing your thumb over it, brushing against the odd feeling of void that the ring had left behind.
All through dinner, your mother keeps you updated on the rumour mills, letting you know about how the neighbourhood has been changing and everything there is to know about the people in town. You listen halfheartedly, responding with the usual murmurs of yes and no or ask her more about what she is telling you, even if you are slowly feeling the weight of your news looming, pushing you to the edge to make you want to just spill everything in the open.
You look at your mother and see that she seems to be holding back too. Not in the way she is talking about the town, however, but from asking you the questions that you can see lingering in her eyes each time she gives you her quick glances.
Once you are done with the first course of the meatball dish and your mother stands up from her seat to give you a second offering, you can no longer take it anymore.
“I’m going to see him,” you finally tell your mother, still feeling a bit tense about admitting it, though you feel good for finally voicing it out.
Your mother only looks at you for a moment before releasing a deep sigh and returning to her seat. “So that’s why you came home, huh? I was wondering if there’s something more going on,” she says, sounding a bit regretful as a sad smile comes to her face. “I thought that might be the case, but I kept telling myself—” she stops only to shake her head. “It’s been so many years.”
“That’s the point. It’s been years too long,” you answer your mother with a solemn nod. “I need to settle the things going on between us for good.”
Your mother purses her lips together. “Can’t you guys just talk about it like decent adults first? You know, maybe you can find a middle ground and work on—”
At her question, and whatever it is that she has going on in her thoughts, you can only sigh and shake your head. “I tried, Mom. Things wouldn’t have turned out this way if not for him suddenly turning away from me before actually giving a chance for us to talk about it like two adults,” you tell her, explaining to her for the umpteenth time already, just like how you would always do every year when this topic comes up.
“Why now? After all these years, why have you suddenly decided that you want to see him in person now?”
You open your mouth to answer but find yourself unable to speak. How are you supposed to explain the fact that you had somehow agreed to marry someone that your parents don’t really know anything about? And while this hurdle had been getting in your way for too long already, it wasn’t until the moment you put on Matthew’s ring and have the images of your future flashing in your eyes when you realise that you can no longer let it hold you back from moving on.
You know that no matter how well you can find a way to explain it, neither one of your parents is going to be happy to know what is going on or to understand the reason why you are taking an action after years of being silent.
“I can’t tell you why just yet, I just—” you begin to speak, shaking your head again before looking at her. “It’s time, Mom. Don’t you think?”
Your mother looks completely somber when she nods. There is a voice in the back of your mind that is telling you that perhaps your mother knows that something is up. But you refuse to admit it, hoping that she simply thinks of this as a way for you to make things right.
“You’re right. I think you really should talk to him,” she says to you, finally, keeping her voice soft as she speaks before pointing a finger at you as she adds, “And I mean really talk to him properly without screaming at each other.”
Her comment reminds you back to three years ago, when you were much younger and you still had lack control of your emotions that you had allowed the townspeople to witness it when you were fighting with him in public. It was catastrophic, and there is no doubt that people still remembers that day, perhaps even better than what your memory had served you. Chuckling sheepishly to yourself, you raise your hand up and look at your mother with a sly grin. “You know I can’t promise you anything yet, but I’ll do my best to reign down my anger.”
“As you both should,” she says, only to stop briefly and glance over to the empty seat where your father would usually sit during dinner. Except for tonight, as he was stuck dealing with a little problem at work. “And, um—I need you to do me a favour,” your mother speaks to you softly, almost to whisper before turning to look at you. “Don’t let your Dad know what you might decide to do about all of this until it’s time, you hear me?”
For a moment there, you are left speechless, wondering if your mother had found out about what is truly going on. But looking at her doesn’t give you an answer, not when she isn’t giving you much of it when she keeps her face blank, only filled with the firm look in her eyes as she waits for you to agree with her.
“I won’t tell him anything until I’ve handled things.”
Your answer seems to please her, enough to bring back her smile. Your mother pats gently on your left hand, showing her gratitude without so much of a word before she leaves her seat to finally get you that second serving of her homemade meatball dish. As she leaves, your eyes find your hand, focusing on the empty ring finger that suddenly feels heavy with an invisible weight, carried by the secret that you simply cannot wait to let go of.
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“How does it feel to be back home?”
Listening to Matthew’s voice on the phone makes you want to close your eyes and exhale a deep sigh. In fact, that is just what you do as you lean against the side of your rented city car, basking in the rumbles of Matthew’s deep voice that you have started to miss a lot despite the fact that you had just spent time with him last weekend.
“It feels—good, and odd at the same time,” you answer him with a chuckle, opening your eyes to look around you and take in the sight of the beautiful town where you grew up in.
There is a whole lot of truth in your words when you talk about being home. Being here feels good. Everything about it feels right—the fresh air, the clean roads and sidewalks, the artsy walls and the old buildings, the familiar scents, and all the places that remind you of your childhood and all the years you spent causing trouble and trying to find yourself through your teen years.
But it is certainly different here compared to the big city. In the city, you are nearly invisible. Surrounded by all the people who only care about their own personal businesses, on living it through the day and following the quick pace of the city life that you have become a part of for the past nearly seven years. Everything here appears in brighter colours, slightly muted compared to the colours you see in the city, where everything seems more vibrant and bold and awfully loud. Everyone here moves at a slower pace, as if they are savouring every second of their day as they go about it town, finishing their personal businesses without so much of a rush, sometimes even stopping just to have a chat with anyone they come across. It has been a sight that is completely unlike what you have grown used to seeing back in the city, where people would rush to get from one spot to another as soon as they can without even bother paying attention to the people they come across as they continue to live and move along to follow the constant ripple pulsing within the city
You almost forgot that you had once been a part of this town.
And you have just been reminded that everyone in this town knows each other.
There is no doubt that the news of your arrival may have already reached him. There is nothing you can do to escape it when you came across Ruth, the gossip girl of the town, when you dropped by at the bank in town this morning. Not to mention the fact that your uncle may have gone to see him early morning when you know that they are still doing their morning runs together. Funny how life changes over the years and yet some things just remain the same.
Everything—and everyone—in this town seems to remain completely the same.
And that is when you start questioning just where do you fit in all of this. Or if you still fit here at all.
“Baby? Is everything okay?” you hear Matthew’s voice from the phone still pressed to your ear, snapping you from your wandering thoughts, and only then do you realise that he has been saying stuff on the phone which you have obviously missed.
“Yes,” you quickly answer him while chastising yourself for it. “I’m sorry, I got distracted. You were saying?”
Matthew lets out a soft chuckle through the phone, as if he already knows your antics, and that he had grown used to noticing you spacing out so randomly when you are not focusing completely the way you would when you are working. “I was saying how sorry I am that I can’t be there. You know, it would’ve been better if I had joined you to meet your family if you’re going to let them know about our engagement, don’t you think? I should’ve been there with you to do it. I have to meet them at some point, right?”
“Right,” you answer him with a small voice while you feel your breath getting caught in your throat. You had gone through all of this before, having him question why he isn’t here with you and you had always tried to explain the best you could about why you have to do this alone. With him constantly bringing it up on each phone call, you are not completely sure just how much longer you can keep going with this ruse and how soon the truth will come out.
You are thankful for the fact that he is unable to see you this way, but you still try your best to recover and answer him lightly, “But you know, you also have that family thing this Christmas and the gala. I feel like I have to do this on my own—”
Because your Dad’s heart might not be able to survive it if you had brought a man into your parents’ home and your Mom would blow a torch once she drops her gaze on Matthew.
And then there’s the gossip.
Oh, what would people say if you had come home with Matthew instead of coming here alone? Once again, the weight of the engagement ring that you have kept inside your purse feels heavy. This time, it feels heavier than the tightness in your chest that you have to press your free hand harder against the side of your purse as if the tiny little thing is pulsing from within and everyone in town might be able to sense its presence from a mile away.
“—because you know, I already told you that my parents might be a bit old-fashioned about this, yet I feel like I need to send the news to them lightly.”
“Yeah, I get it. I mean, I don’t think I can escape this charity gala even if I’d wanted to,” he says, and you feel even more guilty for lying when you can hear the smile in his voice.
Not lying, omitting the truth, as you have told yourself time and time again.
“But—” he adds, “At least you’re going to be back here for New Year’s Eve, right? My parents have been going on and on about the family dinner and the gathering. Don’t worry, I kept my promise not to tell them about the engagement until then, but they still ask about you a lot, wondering if you’re going to be here.”
“I’ll be there,” you quickly answer him, just when you hear the sound of a door opening. “Listen, Matthew honey. I have to go. Can I call you back later tonight?”
“Of course,” he says. “I have to stop by at the office briefly before heading to the gym and then I’m off to see my Dad for lunch right after my workout. You take care over there, alright? I love you.”
“Me too.”
Ending the call, you toss the phone into your purse and push yourself away from the car. You begin to walk carefully on the gravel-covered pathway heading to the old building in front of you—the old place that you had once remembered as the old wooden barn turned into the town’s farmers’ tavern which, at some point, had come near of being torn down.
The place had once called the Spinning Horse Pub, where you would see drunken old men hanging out there at night after spending all day doing labour work, tossing glasses and passing around the local beer while singing old folksongs completely out of tune and with all the wrong lyrics, the sight which ended up leaving kids scarred and slightly traumatised at the sight of adulthood.
Today, the place is called the Moonlit Bar, standing pristine with a mix of brick walls and polished wooden floors, stained glass windows, and blues music humming faintly from inside just as the front door swings open.
After years of not seeing him in person, you had thought that you would have a problem finding him. But it had turned out that he had been keeping contact with your parents, especially your Dad—in extension of him spending his free time with your uncle—and you had found out just where to ambush him without creating so much of a hassle or to attract the attention that you obviously have no time or energy to deal with.
Your heels sink between the gravels as you continue to walk closer towards the bar. The sounds of men talking are heard as you grow closer, followed by a series of laughter coming with the voice that you have known for a long time. Even before you can see him, as the talking men are still concealed behind the truck that is parked right in front of the bar, your heartbeat has already started picking up, pounding rapidly the closer you are to get to him. And with each pound of your heartbeat, you can feel the ominous throb coming from the ring inside your purse, further intensifying all the tension you currently have running through your body.
And then, finally, you are there, right where you need to be after walking around the parked truck to be able to have a clear view of the bar’s own front door, only to stumble right the moment you find him.
Standing on the front porch, looking all gloriously in his presence is Kim Namjoon, the man and the devil himself, whose wide smile that he shared with his friend falls for a brief moment at the sight of you coming over to him before his lips curl up to a sly grin.
Namjoon waves at his friend who knows not to stay and is already hopping away to his parked car in the lot before he turns to you. “Well, look at what the cat dragged in,” he says, leaning back against a column on the front porch with his arms crossed as he takes you in. His eyes are glowing with mirth, though you can sense him holding something back, using his haughtiness against you to hold it back in.
You stop on your tracks, staying just a few steps away from the porch’s stairs as you cross your own arms. “I thought you were allergic to cats.”
Namjoon shrugs. “Still am,” he says, dragging his words while he drags his gaze, looking at you from the top of your head and down to your fancy heels. His intense gaze makes you feel self-conscious, while your skin begins to flush not only for the way he is looking at you, but also at the sight of him.
With the years that had gone by, you have never expected to see him changing this much. He has always been so tall, but the last time you had seen him, he was still his lanky old self, completely careless to the way he looked or how he presented himself.
Today, he is standing there with his flannel shirt, the short sleeves folded up all the way to his shoulders, exposing his strong arms, muscles grown from the years that he had no doubt been spending working out and out on runs, all flexed tightly for your eyes to see as he keeps his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. And then there is his chest, looking all buff and strong, unlike the way he used to be back then, when he had looked way smaller compared to your massive built uncle who had insisted to have him join his exercises and workouts, when he appeared frail that it made you worry a lot whenever he had to deal with his carpentry and especially when he had taken the job at his father’s construction business.
All of a sudden, you feel the urge to clench your hands, only because a flash of memory comes into your head. You still remember how it felt to run your hands down his skin, how he would shudder under your touch when you pressed your palms on his chest. And then your mind wanders yet again, only to imagine what it would feel like if you would run your palms down to his chest today, to trace his tight muscles, to feel the heat of his skin, and—
“So what are you doing here, stranger? Did you get lost? Forgot your way back to the big city?” he begins questioning you, snapping you right out of your trance. You look up to see his eyes, noticing the way they are glinting with amusement, as if he had caught on to you ogling at him.
“No, actually. I’m here looking for you,” you respond to him while averting your gaze, shaking your head to shake off the blunder that has suddenly gotten into you and get your mind out of the gutter.
“Oh, really?” he asks, sounding intrigued. “Mind if I ask why?”
Again, your heartbeat picks up, and you swallow deeply to stop yourself from throwing up out of nerves. Pressing your lips together, you reach into your purse to pull out a brown envelope that contains the papers that you had prepared prior to coming here. Taking it in your hand, you take a few steps closer to him and hand it out for him to grab.
“I’m here for this,” you tell him, keeping your voice calm and steady as you continue, “I want you to sign the divorce papers. And I’m going to need you to do it now.”
His eyes fall on the envelope that you are handing out to him, a flicker of his surprise and his emotions that you cannot really read from him appear in his gaze for a brief moment before they disappear, replaced by a look of astonishment that comes together with his smile.
“No,” is all that he says to you.
“What?” you simply gasp out your reaction while your courage simply shatters into pieces.
“I said no. I’m not signing that.”
Rage comes boiling in your blood and you lower your hand roughly that the envelope brushes against your thigh with a loud slap. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not signing.”
“Why? What’s the point?” you try to protest. Stopping only to take a deep breath to calm yourself down before levelling your voice, keeping it down when you continue to speak, “Namjoon, we’ve been separated for a long time. We never even talked nor have we seen each other since I left town, much less living like a normal pair of husband and wife. Do you really want us to get stuck in this—this, whatever this is, until we both grow old, despising one another while we’re rotting to death?”
Namjoon’s gaze turns hard as he lowers his arms. “I’m not signing because I can’t.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” you hiss at him, though it doesn’t seem that getting emotional is doing much to help you in this matter.
Namjoon exhales a deep sigh and looks around him. He keeps his eyes looking far away and over your shoulder, staring at the shadows that aren’t exactly present when he speaks, “Why don’t you come inside so we can talk properly without worrying about people listening in? I know that I owe you at least a drink or two.” His eyes find you again before he gives you a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, the same eyes that are still giving you a hard gaze. “What do you say, city girl? Or are you too fancy now to try out the local brews?”
You keep staring at him with disbelief as he turns around and makes his way back into the tavern without waiting for your response. Deep down, you know that he is right. It would be better to be talking about this inside, away from any prying eyes and curious ears listening in. God knows what the rumour mill is already spreading about the connection between your return and your visit to Namjoon’s bar while you are standing out here for everyone to see. And you are also curious to hear about what he is about to tell you. After taking a quick look around you, you slip the envelope back into your purse and dust off your skirt from the invisible dust before stepping up onto the porch.
Namjoon is still standing by the entrance, waiting for you to follow as he holds the door open for you. His smile doesn’t seem at all welcoming when you look at him, but feels more like a taunt. Despite knowing that you would be caught in a place where he holds all control, you don’t stop yourself from going around him and walk through the door. “Let’s get this over with,” you tell him as you walk past, only to have him responding to you with a deep chuckle as you sense him following you in.
“Oh, Sweet Cheeks, you have no idea. I haven’t even started yet.”
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Stepping into his bar feels like stepping into a completely different world from what you had outside.
Even in the daytime, the bar had been kept slightly dark, with only a few probe lights illuminating the room from the corners of the seating area, some lights are spread around the bar, and some of the brightest are set around the empty stage in the center of the room, highlighting the music instruments placed there to be ready for use. You can feel Namjoon’s warmth as he follows close, right until the moment you come to a halt at the center of the room and he walks around you to make his way towards the bar counter.
He says nothing as he looks over his shoulder to meet your gaze, but the look in his eyes is enough to have you following him towards the bar. You can see that a few patrons are present as you walk across the room, and neither of them are looking your way. Some of them are enjoying their meal, while some are simply there to chat with each other while enjoying their beer and the light music playing from the old jukebox across the room. The silly device looks awfully too bright against the darker room around it, catching your attention so easily. Judging from the looks of it and how old it seems, you wonder just how that thing is still running.
Namjoon stops at a seating booth nearby the bar counter, quite hidden from the rest of the place. Simply perfect to finally have the talk. He watches you coming closer and gives you his sweet and charming smile that you have grown used to know, added with a pinch of his smugness, then motions for you to take the seat right across from him.
“You seem to be doing well. And I have to admit that this place looks nice,” you say to him after a beat of silence. You find it almost awkward to be sitting here with him and not saying anything. But you have found a long time ago that both you and Namjoon had always managed to find comfort in your silence.
Except that part of your life had ended a long time ago, and you barely know the man who is sitting right in front of you today.
Namjoon’s lips curl up to a smile, and you can tell that he is pleased to hear your compliment and he takes a lot of pride in bringing this place together. You can obviously see it when he leans back, taking a good look at the place with a look of wonder in his eyes. And you cannot help but admit that you share the same pride inside you for seeing how far he had gone since you left.
“How did you find me?” he suddenly asks you before his eyes find you again.
You keep your eyes on him for a moment, studying the look he is giving you only to give up when you find nothing. Giving him a shrug, you answer him with a small smile. “Small town. Everyone talks. Just ask the right question to the right people and they all come pointing their fingers to help me find you.”
Namjoon grins. “Your uncle told you about this place, didn’t he? Did he specifically told you that you can find me here today?”
A chuckle escapes you as you nod. “He came to the house to barge into our dinner last night the moment he heard from Dad that I was home. Couldn’t stop talking about you and how you managed to pick this place back up and keeping it from falling to the ground. Said you re-built everything with your own two hands.”
Namjoon simply gives you nothing but silence instead of confirming what your uncle had told you last night. And he did more than just to let you know where you can find and perhaps corner Namjoon into talking to you.
You had thought that your uncle may have been exaggerating things when he talked about Namjoon and about all the things that the man had done for the town ever since you left. But seeing this place now and how he carries himself around the bar and around you is beginning to make you wonder just how much things have truly changed since then. There is a glint in his eyes that is hard for you to decipher, though it makes you feel like he is able to look through you without so much of saying a word. You open your mouth to speak again, to strike a conversation, to say anything, just to keep the ball rolling and to start getting straight to the point where he would provide some answers, only to be interrupted by a waitress who comes sidling to the side of the booth.
You turn to the girl, expecting her to ask for your orders just so you can quickly send her away, only to realise that she doesn’t even have her eyes on you. The waitress simply stands there with her hips popped to the side, keeping one arm pressed around the underside of her boobs to practically push the girls up and making them look bigger as the peak of the mound come peeking from over her low cut shirt and her other hand is nowhere close to holding her notes. To you, she appears to be a bit—ditzy, as she tries to gain Namjoon’s attention, but her presence amuses you too much to make a comment out of it.
“What are you having, Joonie?” she asks with a voice slightly whining to make herself sound cute for your dear husband, and yet Namjoon pays her no attention, giving her not even a glance as he keeps his eyes on you.
Amused at this development, you lean back in your seat and cross your arms over your chest to taunt him. “Yes, what are we having, Joonie?”
Namjoon’s lips twitch for a brief moment, as if he is holding back a smile. Yet he keeps his eyes locked on your face when he finally answers, “I’ll have the beer from the tap, and tell Bernie to make my wife here a glass of Manhattan.”
You glance over as the poor waitress stiffens. Her eyes grow wide as she glances back and forth between you and her employer before she stutters, “Y-your wife?”
Leaning forward, you address the girl with a sly grin. “You heard the man. And yes, I’m his dear old wife. Please make sure that Bernie makes mine a little sweet, will you?” you ask her, making her look even more flustered before nodding. “Thank you, darling,” you call out to her with a teasing wink right as she starts scrambling off towards the bar where Bernie—your father’s old fishing mate who is also Namjoon’s second cousin—is tending the bar.
The sound of Namjoon’s deep chuckle pulls your attention back to him. You remember how that sound used to make your stomach twist with butterflies fluttering inside you, and you hate to admit that it is still giving you the same effect, albeit a bit muted due to the fact that everything between you had turned into shambles. You simply doubt that you can escape from feeling all the pain coming back to you again each time you think of the past, so you suppress the sensation happening inside your belly, ignoring it the best you can as you begin to push him into talking.
“Why won’t you sign the divorce papers, Namjoon? I’ve been sending them to you so we can get things over with without us having to go through the court and all the unnecessary legal battles you know waiting for us. All you had to do was sign them. I thought you wanted this? Why do you keep sending them back to me?”
Namjoon says nothing, but keeps his eyes looking down on the table while he rubs his hand over his rugged face. The moment his gaze finds yours again, it looks terribly guarded, as if there is a wall standing between you and he has chosen to hide behind it.
“Don’t you want to move on, maybe get lucky with little miss sweet thing right there?” you ask him with a tilt of your head aimed at the waitress who still seems a bit frazzled as she talks rapidly with another girl. The disbelief on their faces seems almost comical, though it brings an odd feeling into your chest to know that there are girls like them, other women, that he could pick from. Women who seem to adore him the way that waitress does.
While you are suddenly left wondering about this, the question that you have given him finally draws a reaction from him, even if it only comes in the form of a scoff. His eyes soften for a brief moment when he holds back another smile, before they both disappear the moment he notices you watching, soon to be replaced with a faked mirth when he shrugs. “She’s not my type. Frankly, I’m not that big into dating when I legally still have a wife. Even if she’s busy trying to conquer the world, leaving me in this town to rescue old buildings from falling into the ground.”
This time, you are the one giving him a scoff. “Don’t tell me you haven’t been with anyone else since we separated.”
Namjoon doesn’t answer you right away, but falls silent instead. Leaning forward, he crosses his arms and rests them on the table as he levels his gaze on you. His eyes are intense, piercing through you just enough to make you shudder, that you nearly miss it when he answers you with, “I haven’t.”
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“When Daisy told me that Namjoon’s wife is here, I just had to come and deliver these drinks myself.”
Bernie’s large figure fills the space around you just by standing at the side of the booth. He drops the large-sized tankard filled with beer with a loud thump on the table for Namjoon while he sets down your martini cocktail gently for you. Seeing him there and listening to his boastful laugh makes your heart feel warn that you cannot resist sliding out of the booth to wrap your arms around him.
“Bernie, it’s good to see you,” you hum softly as you embrace the man who had become more like a second father to you at some point in your life.
“You look awfully good for a city girl,” Bernie says after patting gently on your back and releasing you. He crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze looking up and down as he takes you in. You have no idea what he sees in you, but you can see pride coming out of his gaze. “Heard from your uncle this morning that you’re home. Didn’t expect to see you hanging around this side of town, much less to visit here. The drink’s on the house, my treat to welcome you home,” he says, nodding at your untouched glass while Namjoon gives him a light scoff. The big guy turns to your soon-to-be ex-husband and raises his eyebrows. “What? You can just cut it off my pay.”
“There’s no need, big guy. He already said he’s paying for this,” you say to him before Namjoon can say a thing.
Bernie raises his brows once more. “Really, now? Then the second glass will be my treat,” he says, before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulls you in to whisper, “Just don’t tell your Dad I gave you more than a glass.”
His sly comment makes you laugh. “You know I’ve passed being twenty-one a long time ago, Bernie. Dad should know that I can handle my drinks just fine.”
“Oh, but you’ll always be your Dad’s baby girl even if you’ve made it big in the city. You know that, don’t ya?” Bernie says with a shake of his head, and then he follows your eyes as you take a good look around, noticing some of the areas that you had failed to pay attention to when you first came in. “See what he did to the place, Pumpkin? Joon here did all of this by himself—with a lot of our help, of course. Said he did it all for—”
“Bernie,” Namjoon quickly cuts him off before Bernie can say anything else. The bartender looks over with a questioning gaze while Namjoon simply stays calm. “You got some customers coming.”
You raise a questioning brow at him, wondering just what Bernie may have been trying to tell you before he was cut off. But Namjoon tilts his chin up towards the bar’s entrance and both you and Bernie turn to look. Sure enough, a group of young men walk past the front door just then, almost too conveniently, letting Bernie know that it is time for him to get back on the job. The big man looks over his shoulder to you and shrugs.
“Right. Well, I’ll catch up with you a little later, Pumpkin,” he says as he playfully messes with your hair before turning back to the bar.
“Take care, big Bernie,” you call out to him then return to your seat, facing Namjoon once again. You avert your eyes when you find him still watching you, taking your time as you taste the drink that had been made for you with a few small sips while letting it run down your throat to calm your nerves.
“So, where were we?” you ask him while leaning back in your seat.
Namjoon remains calm when he answers, “The papers.”
You nod. “And you were telling me why you’re still not signing.”
Once again, Namjoon gives you nothing but silence. He takes a few big gulps from his drink, making you wait until he sets the glass down and leans forward. “Why do you want to get out of this marriage so bad?” he finally asks you, looking awfully curious as he studies your face. Neither of you says a thing until the glint of mirth in his eyes dims down and his smile falls, bringing a painful pinch into your chest upon seeing his reaction. And the pinch brings even more pain when he mutters softly, “You’ve found someone.”
You frown at your hands, unable to look at him. “I’m just trying to move on, Joon.”
Namjoon nods with a blank expression on his face. “And I already told you that I can’t sign it.”
You raise your head and frown at him. “And why is that, exactly?”
Suddenly, his face turns a little sour, though you can see a flash of sadness coming across his face. “Winny.”
Your breath gets caught in your throat while you can feel your heart plummeting down your stomach at the mention of her name. Winny, Namjoon’s grandmother and—legally still—your grandmother-in-law. Though Winny is not exactly her real name, the name that toddler Namjoon had officially given her when he couldn’t specifically call her as ’grandma’ nor that he could pronounce her name properly at such a young age. The name had stuck with your grandmother-in-law ever since, and she had always let both you and Namjoon continue using the name to address her while growing up together, and it had even lasted until you both have grown into adults.
“Did you know that Winny got a heart attack early this year?” Namjoon asks you, and you are beginning to see just where this is all going.
Nodding your head, you take your glass in your hand, taking one swipe of a drink before you can talk about it. “Your Mom called to tell me about it when it just happened. I called your grandmother after she woke up from it and we talked through the phone for a long time,” you begin to tell him, sighing deeply as you recall about the phone conversation that you had with her at the time. A frown comes to you when you recall how the conversation went, how she reacted to your voice, and sympathy comes when you remember everything that she said to you then, “She seemed confused, asking me why I’m not back for the term break yet and if I’ll be home for the holidays. She kept talking as if I hadn’t finished law school or even had the job in the firm yet, and it sounded like she believed that we’re still together.”
Namjoon studies your face for a moment. “And yet you still didn’t question it, nor did you correct her to remind her that we are no longer happily married, or that you had graduated from school years ago.”
Slowly, you only shake your head. “I had to play along cause I didn’t want to upset her.”
Namjoon takes another drink. You can see the sadness in his eyes returning to him full force and it has you doing everything you can to hold back from reaching out to him and hold his hands to give him some comfort. Ever since he was a little boy, Namjoon had always been close to Winny. His grandmother had always been strict to all of her grandchildren, but the woman had treated him a bit special back when he was growing up while at the same time, treated him as if he was her own child, giving him advices that had eventually helped guide Namjoon up to a point where he started making his own mess. That was how the two of them formed a bond with each other when Namjoon was entering adulthood. A tight bond that had always been so strong that you know it would have been hard for Namjoon to deal with her illness.
“She called me this morning, said she heard that you came back home. I’m not sure how she found out, but she was asking a lot of questions about you. She specifically wanted to know why I haven’t taken you to see her yet and if there’s any specific food she should cook for you to welcome you back. Though she might be asking my Mom for help on that,” Namjoon says with a low chuckle, shaking his head. “That was how I found out that you were back in town.”
Hearing this, you can only sigh. You hate to think of the strong-willed woman having trouble with her memories and dealing with her regular days. “What did you say to her?”
Namjoon only shrugs. “I just told her that you might still be exhausted from the trip, and that you would call her once you have gotten some time settling in. You know, all of that. Even if I had no idea how to make that happen. Just like Bernie said, neither of us really expected you’d be coming here on your own.”
You look down on your hands, wondering how things seem to suddenly be on your way. It seems like fate is trying to test you. Just like how it did years ago when you were younger, when you were too hot-headed to play along and had ended up leaving.
Namjoon leans in, whispering softly just so you can be the only one to hear it when he says, “She’s still confused, ______. Her memory is still stuck in the past after that heart attack.”
“I realised that much when I talked to her. I was hoping that it would gradually get better in time. I guess that was a bit too much to hope for,” you answer him, nodding your head solemnly. Deep down, you really do feel sad for her. Winny had always been larger than life, easy and fun to be with, and had always been the wise voice that you listened to when you were still together with Namjoon. The situation makes you feel bad about it. And yet, it doesn’t stop you from wondering, “What does signing the divorce papers have to do with Winny’s condition?”
Namjoon pinches his lips together and clenches his jaw for a moment. “The old Winny before the heart attack had known that we were separated. And though she kept trying to get us to reconcile, she was starting to accept the fact that we may never get back together,” he says, lowering his voice as he speaks, even if there is no one getting close enough to listen in. “Present-day Winny still thinks that you are returning next year after finishing law school and that we are still going to run her old office once my dad and uncle retire.”
Sighing, you murmur softly to yourself when you finally understand, “She still thinks that we’re together and still happily married.”
Namjoon’s jaw tightens when he nods his head. “That’s not the only problem,” he whispers, sounding nearly like a groan when he is speaking while letting out an exasperated sigh. “Do you remember our deal, when we first got into this marriage?”
Your mind instantly flies back to the past. To the moment when you had just graduated from high school, when you were both had been so young and lost after making one of the biggest mistakes of your lives and receiving a blessing that had come at the worst period of time, and how both your family and Namjoon’s had cornered you both to the point that you had almost agreed to Namjoon’s suggestion of running away and eloping just to escape their wrath. That had been a messy time of your lives until Winny swooped in, playing devil’s advocate as she tried to diffuse the situation in her own way before all hell would break loose.
Then you are reminded of the one crucial part of the entire ordeal that had changed everything.
The trust fund.
The account that Winny had set up for your small growing family, all to ease the tension running through both families upon finding out their high school graduates kids were expecting a baby instead of college acceptance letters, and to reassure both you and Namjoon that you would be taken care of no matter what your fathers had tried to punish you both with. It was the part of the deal that had you agreeing to legally marry each other before the baby would come along and to have it occurring right in front of your entire family and about a half part of the town attending the ceremony as witnesses.
How you had forgotten about all of this is beyond you. It feels like such a long time ago, a distant memory of your past that had somehow gotten buried almost completely in the back of your mind. And yet, you can feel the same dread and grief that you haven’t felt for a long time rolling through you at the thought of it.
“After we lost our—” Namjoon’s voice breaks before he could say it out loud, and he clears his throat before he can continue. “She still kept the trust fund, telling my Dad that she would one day hand everything to both of us if we ever get back together.”
Your eyes grow wide upon hearing this. Though you have always known what Winny had been planning to do, you had never thought that she would actually keep her words. And that she would have waited for this long to keep the account running despite seeing no other possibilities that you and Namjoon would come back together.
Rubbing a hand over his face, Namjoon looks at you with a mix of hope and depletion in his eyes, before he finally gets to the point. “I have—some plans. Big plans. And I won’t lie to you, I’m going to need that money. I thought that perhaps I could just borrow it so I can have things running and then I would return them once everything pulls through. Just as long as she doesn’t go and donate the funds someplace else first. That’s what she said to us, by the way. That she’d rather hand the money to someone else that would actually care about it than let it sit in her account with nowhere to go because we’re too stubborn to—you know.”
Surprised to hear this new development, on what sounds more like a threat that—you do have to admit—does sound like something Winny would say, you cannot help but laugh. “Would she really do something like that?”
Namjoon’s lips curl to a small smile. “She may have implied a few times—almost at least twice each year—that she would do it one day. That was before she got sick,” he says with a sigh, and you can only shake your head in wonder.
“So how are we supposed to do this? How are the legal work and the papers play a role in this?”
Namjoon ponders about it for a moment before speaking with a low voice, “I’ll sign the papers, if you really want me to, but I’m going to need your help first. My parents have been talking about having a family retreat, rent a cottage up in the mountains for a quiet Christmas family outing so Winny can get the break she needs. Initially, it would have been just us, the immediate family. But Winny already knows that you’re in town and she sounded terribly excited to see you and to spend time with you while you’re here, so I figured that this might be a good chance.”
And too much of a coincidence, you wonder to yourself. But you say nothing. Because Namjoon has no way to arrange all of this just when you are coming back just to sever the ties. Once again, you curse at fate, hating the way you are forced to play its game yet again.
“Come with me, join us, stay a bit longer in town, just until after we’ve shown Winny that we’re doing okay. You know that she adores you so much, so maybe having you with her would help her get better,” Namjoon continues, sounding almost pleading when he shares his ideas. “Unfortunately, playing a role and acting like a regular married couple in front of her won’t be enough. We need to make sure that we’re still legally married while we’re doing all of that act together, just in case she goes out of her way and checks everything out.”
Chuckling softly, you cannot help but smile. “Knowing Winny, I suppose that we do have to prepare for something like that to happen. As long as she finds a way, she’d be digging everything out to expose us for deceiving her,” you murmur softly as you think of Winny and her antics.
Namjoon laughs. “Don’t forget that she has her own lawyers. Might not be as big as you guys in the big city, but these people would do anything that Winny asks them to. I don’t think my Dad or uncle would be able to do anything to cover it up once the divorce is legalised before I can get my hands on the money.”
Laughing at this, you know that he is absolutely right. Your mind flies back to another period of time in the past where Winny had gone and send out her lawyers to handle the mess that her grandchildren had created all over town. Once, she had even sent out the same lawyers to investigate the tenant of a new apartment building where Namjoon’s sister lived, accusing them of trying to con the poor girl by setting up some shady deals when she was trying to extend her rent for another year.
Winny had always been protective of her family, and she had always managed to find a way, no matter how extensive, to make sure everyone is safe.
“How important is it to you to pull this through? How badly do you want—no, need it, that you have to go this far?”
Namjoon smiles at your question. “You tell me. You are the one who has always had big dreams to chase,” he says, and you can sense a sudden change in his voice. Something that sounds wistful, while at the same time, a bit envious, even. But then his expression turns a bit solemn. “But I also want to see Winny get better. We’ve tried everything. We’ve turned to different doctors, hospitals, specialists, and we even got her through a bunch of therapies that did no good but left her feeling tired all the time that we had to stop everything before things would go from bad to worse. You are pretty much our only hope at this point.”
And mine.
Those were the words that he didn’t say out loud, but you can see it in his eyes. The desperate need to make sure that things will go in his way. It makes you curious to know what he has planned, perhaps something to do with his project on restoring old places and bringing this town back up—just like what your uncle said about something that Namjoon seems to want.
There is a mix of different feelings running inside you after listening to him speak. Starting with a punch in the gut when he mentioned your ‘dreams’, feeling like he was taunting you about it. Then there is the same pinch of sympathy and dread when you think about the woman that you had looked up to for a long time having such a hard time. Suddenly, you just want to be there for her, to help her and her family for one last time before you would walk away from all of this for good, just like the way she had been helping you through one of the toughest times of your life then.
And perhaps, in the process, you can help Namjoon too. For old time sake.
“Fine, I’ll stay for the charade. I’ll help you, as long as you promise to sign the divorce papers before I leave town,” you say this to Namjoon, keeping your eyes looking straight into his. “But I’ll only stay until after the family retreat, and not a day longer.”
The expression Namjoon is giving you is still unreadable, and you are starting to hate just how you are unable to read through him when you used to know him better than you knew yourself. But there is also something in his eyes that you manage to catch on to before it fades. A feeling of relief, as if you had just given him hope, no matter how small it is compared to what he truly needs. Though he is quick to mask it all away, hiding his emotions much better than you ever could have when he nods and answers you with,
“Understood.”
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Coming home from meeting Namjoon has left you feeling more lost than resolved.
You had known that it wouldn’t be easy to get through to him and you had gone to see him without so much of a hope to return with the result that you had wanted on your first try. You had known all along that Namjoon may have something up his sleeve because you have been sending the divorce papers repeatedly for the past year only to have him sending them back to you.
You had drafted the divorce papers ever since the day you realised that there was no way you were going to get back together when neither of you even bothered to make any effort of communicating with each other during the time you were apart. Not the same way you and Namjoon did it when you had simply gone away to law school. And after what had happened three years ago, you had thought that everything had officially ended.
You had always wondered why Namjoon had been so adamant in keeping this marriage together when there had been nothing left to fight for. But seeing him today and listening to his side of the story had given you a new perspective on the matter.
Had Winny always been a part of it?
You have had a lot of theories on why Namjoon would deny you the divorce when he had made it seem like he wanted nothing to do with you, not after the big fight you had that had sent you packing up and leave. But it had never crossed your mind that perhaps he had simply done it to be able to claim the trust fund from Winny.
But would that have been the case at all?
And if it was, then why does it make you feel—disappointed to hear it, when you had never even considered about the possibilities that he may still have some hopes to turn things around. No, you are not going there, you shake your head and scold yourself for even letting your mind stray to a place that you had not let yourself venture into for a long time. A place in your mind that you had pushed so far back by living your life away from the memories—burying all thoughts of your past by working the long hours, taking in the big cases that had left you too exhausted to think at the end of the day to remember him at all, making new acquaintances that had no knowledge of your past back home.
Starting a new relationship.
You had never intended to seek a new chance in a relationship with another man, nor have you ever expected to have Matthew, the junior associate that had only joined the law firm last year to somehow show any interest in you as soon as you met him and to have him pursuit you so publicly until you finally agreed to start going out with him. You had thought it would only turn out to be a fling or that he would have given up on you as soon as he recognised the walls you had put around you to guard your heart. But he had always been so insistent, and never once had he wavered no matter how much you tried to push him away.
And you certainly had never expected that he would ask you to marry him this soon, or ever, before you had any chance to deal with your past.
The sounds of laughter filling the room completely snaps you out of it, taking you back to your family who has gathered in the dining room for what would be the second family dinner where everyone is present. And it is not even Christmas night yet.
Sitting at the end of the table is your Dad, who is telling jokes from his workplace with the help of his brother, your uncle who had taken the seat on the other end. Your mother sits right across from you, forcing your brother to sit separately from his wife as he takes the seat right next to your Mom while your sister in law chooses to sit by your side.
Looking at your family together, you feel warmth surging inside your chest. Your arrival at home had become some kind of a momentous affair and everyone, who had rarely come to join your parents for dinner, had agreed to come just to spend time with you while you are home. For the past few nights since your return, the house has already felt a bit more festive, and it already feels like Christmas even if you still have a few more days to go.
Being here with them and seeing them gathering like this makes you realise that your departure from the town may have caused more heartaches than you had thought. That you might have not only broken off your marriage with Namjoon when you left, but had somehow created a complete mess in the family dynamics when you broke their hearts by leaving them as well.
You try to join the conversation as much as you can to ease the guilt, but your mind keeps going back to the conversation that you had with Namjoon today, replaying every word in your head until you can almost hear his voice all over again.
“You’ve found someone.”
You recall how he had said those words, the odd look on his face and the low tone of voice that he had when he spoke. Had it been hurt that you saw in his eyes?
You had no idea whether or not to believe him when he said that he had never been with anyone else even after you had parted ways. It suddenly seemed unfair to think about it, though you don’t really have the interest to worry about him the way you used to. Not anymore.
You had spent too many years doing so in the past and look at where it got you. The small voice in your head is always there to remind you of the heartache that you had carried with you when you left town back then each time you begin to dwell too far into the past.
Focus on the future, you hear the same voice whispering to you once again, and your thumb easily slides to find the empty ring finger to brush against the indentation left by your engagement ring.
A regretful sigh escapes you when you think about the gorgeous diamond ring, of how you have kept it hidden in your purse still, never once putting it on ever since you had gotten here. You had been wearing it with pride since the day of the proposal, and yet, just thinking about the ring alone simply gives you a sense of shame as you sit there in the middle of your family with your secrets hidden too deep for them to see it.
You know that you would eventually have to reveal to your family and have them know that you had gotten engaged to someone else. You know that you cannot possibly hide it any longer, but there is no way your parents would take the news lightly, not while you are still legally married to Namjoon. Not until once the divorce is finalised and the ties between you and Namjoon would officially be severed through a simple exchange of signatures. Not while your parents are still following their old, conservative ways, and the news certainly would not make it easy to share with the kind of past that you have.
After all, it was only seven years ago when you came to your parents, straight out of high school, admitting to them that you had gotten pregnant because both you and Namjoon had been irresponsible and reckless about it. Not to mention the occasional events where you had gotten caught doing the naughties while you were both still dating each other all through high school to basically give your parents some clue of just how careless you had been then.
Thinking about it now, you suddenly cringe at the memory of your father coming home early from work to find you riding Namjoon’s lap on the wooden bench that he had built for your mother on the back porch.
It had happened during your senior year of high school, about a year after you began dating Namjoon and only weeks after losing your virginity to him. The night had ended with your father giving Namjoon ’the talk’ while keeping hold of him in the living room while your mother kept you in the dining room to have a long conversation about the birds and the bees. Not that it had done any good at the end.
Knowing what they had perceived you with your wanton ways as a teenage girl, there is no doubt where their mind would venture into had they known you have been having a relationship with another man. And they are not the only ones whose thoughts on it matter to you, you soon realise.
“I haven’t.”
You remember Namjoon admitting to you when you had thought that he might have been finding other women to spend his time with after you were gone. An admission that had made you feel relieved and yet guilty at the same time of what he might have been thinking when you implied to him about finding someone new. That he might imagine you sleeping with another man while you still hold the title of being his wife—even if they had only been nothing but in written papers.
There is no way for you to let him know the truth. That even when you let yourself open your heart to allow Matthew in, even if you had allowed yourself to feel love again, never once had you gone so far with Matthew to even sleep on the same bed with him, much less to make love to him. Not when the ties you still had with Namjoon had always held you back, stopping you from getting too far. Not when you would feel guilty and would think of yourself like a traitor to even receive something so simple like a kiss.
“I haven’t.”
His words continue to echo inside your head, while you silently admit the painful truth that you couldn’t give him then.
Neither have I.
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Three years ago…
You had once thought that you have had everything figured out. By the time you were in senior high school, you had everything planned out perfectly, all the possible ways that you could go through to achieve your goals written down from start to finish—starting from how you were going to leave town, then to study in a good university that could later bring you to places and lead you closer towards your dream. You had envisioned yourself to be someone who was more, someone who could go far and do bigger things in life, instead of being stuck in this small town for the rest of your life just like all the others.
Namjoon had always been in the picture since way before you had even started painting all these visions in your head.
When you were little, Namjoon had been the only one who was willing to listen to you rambling about your dreams, the only one who wouldn’t look at you funny over your obsession with your princess stories and on finding your own fairy tale ending. It had always been easy to share these things with Namjoon simply because he also had his own big dreams to share.
Just like you, Namjoon had always wanted to leave town, to venture out to new places, and he had found his own way to reach it as he joined the basketball team at school and had been playing while keeping his eyes on the sports scholarship as his ticket for his upcoming adventure. Together, you had written out all the details, planned out all the steps, and you had both been nothing but confident in achieving them as long as you had each other.
It took you rewriting your entire life story and the scenarios that you had envisioned since you were a young girl to finally understand that life could never be that simple.
No matter what your parents had called it, you would have never looked at it as a mistake. Having an unplanned pregnancy when you were still too young had been completely terrifying, a surprise that had come uninvited but had always been welcomed, and you still managed to adjust with all the changes, rewriting all the plans to fit the baby into your lives.
All of a sudden, you had no choice but to forget about all the universities you had been applying to and to set your mind in preparing for the baby, in learning and practising on how to become good parents, and building your small family with Namjoon. Your life suddenly expanded so rapidly that you had to shrink down your dreams. You had ended up having more reasons to stay in town, where you would have more people helping you, your families standing by your sides to guide you all the way through. The magical wedding you had envisioned many years ago became something more simple, more intimate, all to save up enough money to buy cribs, to afford to buy the small cabin near the lake where you could have your privacy and enough space for the nursery, and to save up enough funds for you to apply for the community college so you could still earn your degree.
Once again, you were all set up for another adventure, and Namjoon was always there with you to share the journey. It was the two of you against the world as you anticipated for your little one to come, until once again, fate played a twisted game by sending you to another turning point where you had to walk through a different course in life.
An entire ordeal sent your world tilting off its axis, sending you to a new, empty path where there was no more baby, no more chance of having the small beautiful family that you had envisioned, and the only thing that was left had been your dreams, coloured with the sorrow of your loss and the crumbling hope of ever getting a little break.
The loss and grief had been so great, but you used those emotions to continue on moving, ignoring the pity look everyone was giving you as you carried on with your classes and exams and pushed yourself until you could figure out how to be able to get out of the town that had become even more suffocating with the memory of what you had lost. Slowly, you began rewriting a new story of your own, using the last bit of hope you had left to find your new happy ending.
The only thing you had never expected was to find yourself going down this new path on your own, while Namjoon remained stuck in the moment of grief.
You had somehow managed to excel through community college and was heading out to law school when you made a deal with Namjoon that he would soon join you. He had let go of the scholarship that he had gotten through basketball when he had his mind set on staying behind to build a family with you before giving up on basketball and chasing his dream entirely. But you gave him all the time and space he needed, choosing to wait instead of pushing him to run. You had gone to the big city on your own to attend law school, feeling confident enough to survive the temporary long-distance relationship until he would be ready to join you. Even if you were the one who had to make the effort of keeping the relationship last—from being the one to come to visit the town and spend time with him to set everything up for your future together for the day he would be ready for it.
It wasn’t until during the final visit that you made right before you were graduating from law school when you realised that Namjoon had never made an effort to move on and had completely given up—on everything.
“Is it so wrong to want more?”
That was the question that you had asked him then, when he had fought against every effort that you had put through to be able to continue on living and to push him into getting back on his feet so he could give his own dreams another chance.
“Is it so wrong for me to continue on living? For me to want you to live instead of—” you were too emotional to even form any word and had been waving your arms around instead, pointing at the messy bedroom in the cabin where he had been holed up in while you were away. “This has been going on for too long, Joon. You can’t put your life on hold like this, not this long.”
You had hoped that you could get through him somehow, change his mindset so he could try again and do it together with you. But the more you spoke, it kept getting clearer that nothing you said could get through to him. You might as well had been talking to a brick wall with the way he kept being obstinate, too stubborn for his own good, and it was getting too tiring to even try. But you had to, if not for his sake, then for the sake of saving your marriage. Even if you could feel the last sliver of hope you had was slowly chipping away the more you spoke to him.
“What’s the point? I won’t get drafted anywhere by now. That chance has been lost for me.” His eyes were hard as he said this, and it was obvious that he had made his own mind about it. A flash of depletion came flashing out of his eyes when he finally returned your gaze after he kept avoiding your eyes the entire time, before the hardness returned and you saw nothing but lost hope. “Perhaps it’s just not meant to be,” he muttered, and it was both disheartening, enough to make you feel hurt inside, while at the same time it made your blood start boiling with your devastation.
“So what? You’re just going to hole up here for the rest of your life doing nothing?” you scoffed at him, finally snapping at him. “Haven’t you thought about how it could possibly be your second chance? That maybe it’s a sign for you to try again?”
When all he could give you was silence, the only thing you could do was shake your head, still refusing to accept this. “All I’m asking you is for you to try. With me. We can do this together.”
Namjoon clenched his jaw for a moment. “What if it’s not something that I want?” he said then. “I don’t have big dreams like you do.”
The painful pinch inside your chest almost made it impossible for you to speak. “You used to have dreams.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, but look at where it got me. Look at where it got us. You wouldn’t have gotten a miscarriage if it wasn’t for—” His voice was strangled with emotions that he simply stopped, the clench of his jaw tightened as he tried to hold back from saying anything more, from talking about him—the baby boy that had once hold your entire world while he was still living inside your womb.
For some reason, you had expected this. The loss had been too great for both of you and you were both had been too young to deal with the grief. It had taken a lot for you to finally be able to move on, to leave the town where you had buried your unborn child. You could see the grief in his eyes, appearing just as strongly as how you had felt it. You understood fully well the pain that he felt. Hell, you were the one who carried the child for almost nine months before he suddenly stopped moving inside your belly.
No more brain activity, they said, reassuring you that the exhaustion that you had from splitting your days between classes, working on your part-time job, and supporting Namjoon in his games had nothing to do with it. But it was harder to convince Namjoon about it when his guilt had been planted too deep in his mind, when he still blamed himself for letting you join him on his away game and getting you sick days before it happened.
“It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just happened!” you nearly screamed as you tried to make him see this, but then you took a deep breath and decided to try a different angle. “Look, I’ve gotten things figured out. I’m graduating in a few months and I’ve applied for a job at a law firm so that I can—”
“Good for you, then. I’ve always known that you would make it,” he cut you off before you could even begin to lay out your plans, everything that you had envisioned for when he would finally join you in the city. Namjoon had a smile on his face when he said this, and something in your head was telling you that nothing about it was right.
“I want you to be there with me. I’ve been waiting for the moment that you would finally come with me so we can make it together,” you said to him with a small voice while Namjoon only kept shaking his head.
“I can’t join you.”
You began moving your head from side to side. You hated the thought of giving him an ultimatum, but you knew that you could no longer put your life on hold for him. “I can’t wait for you until you change your mind on your own.”
The way Namjoon was looking at you made your heart stop, before you could feel a crack building when he said, “Then we’re at an impasse.”
“I suppose we are,” was the only thing you could say to him, though you could barely get the words out when your throat was caught, both with pain and anger. “I’ve spent days, weeks, worrying about you, planning and preparing for everything so you can join me—”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
Your heart was pounding so hard at this point that you could barely hear your own voice. “What do you mean?” you asked him, your voice almost strangled with the pain hurting you from within. You could almost hear it when your heart was starting to break apart, but you needed to be sure. “Are you saying—”
His eyes softened when he looked at you, even if you could see the hardness in them when he gave you a smile, giving you a false sense of sincerity when he said. “I’m saying that it’s not worth it. I’ll always love you, _____. But I don’t think this is going to work anymore. It’s obvious that we’re both walking in two different paths now. We’ll end up hurting each other if we continue doing this, you know that.”
You were too lost for words to speak, too broken to respond to him. Tears began to form in your eyes, but you refused to cry right in front of him. Breathing in deeply, you swallow all the pain down, letting your rage take its place.
“Fuck you, Namjoon. You’re right. It’s not worth it. I’m sorry I even wasted my time with you.”
That was the last thing you ever said to him before turning away, not giving him another glance when you walked away from him, leaving him and the town behind for good as you silently accepted the fact that you would never find your happy ending in this place. Not anymore.
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Present day…
[from Matthew] I’m sorry about what I said on the phone last night. I was feeling disappointed that I won’t get to see you this weekend and I unintentionally took it out on you. I hope you’re having a great time with your family. Please call me back.
You barely finish reading the whole text before shutting the app off and tossing the cellphone into your purse with a deep sigh. You turn away to look out the window, watching the trees and the hills passing by as Namjoon keeps on driving up the mountain roads, hoping that the silence and the sight of the scenery—even though you have them all covered under a blanket of snow—can calm you down before getting into the whole charade.
But nothing seems to go past Namjoon’s attention, when he only gives you a brief moment of silence before asking, “Is there something wrong?”
Pressing your lips together, you silently contemplate your answer. What are you supposed to tell him? That you had a fight last night through the phone call with your fiancé after letting him know that you will be staying a bit longer, that it is still unnerving to you just how mad your fiancé got after hearing that you are having an extended Christmas celebration with your family instead of coming home the next morning after Christmas dinner like you had promised him you would? Or should you tell him how upset your fiancé had been when you had accidentally sent him a photo of yourself at home while you weren’t wearing the engagement ring? That would surely start quite an interesting conversation with your husband—even if the title that he still carries would only last until the moment all of this charade is over.
“Nothing,” you finally answer him before turning to look at his face. Sometimes you still feel like you are dreaming when you see him driving this fancy four-wheel truck by himself. He used to hate driving through town, choosing to either ride with his friends or hitch a ride with your brother in his truck whenever he had to go to places that would have needed quite a drive from home. He seems to be a lot calmer and more collected now as he leads the truck up the tricky roads, knowing exactly where to go without so much of a fuss. Unlike back then when he had sat right by your side when you first learned how to drive.
“It’s just nerves,” you quickly add as soon as you notice that Namjoon is still expecting for you to explain. “I suppose it’s finally getting to me that we’re going to be holed up in one place, together with two families and a very attentive grandmother. And we’ll be coming in as an estranged married couple in the middle of it. Oh, let’s add the fact that I haven’t been in town for three years to know everything that’s been going on so I’m not completely sure just how we are supposed to pass Winny’s test with flying colours.”
Namjoon chuckles softly as he keeps his eyes on the road. “If you put it that way, I guess I’d be nervous about it too,” he says, suddenly reaching out to grab your hand and give it a little squeeze. “Don’t worry, we got this. We already had our stories lined up and I’m sure that she wouldn’t notice how detached you have been with the family and the whole town. She still thinks you’ve been away in school, after all.”
The touch that Namjoon gives you makes your chest stir a little. It has you growing rigid in your seat when your body seems to be reacting to him and yet you try your best to hide it. But the moment he pulls away, you immediately feel the loss. Your eyes follow his hand as he grips the steering wheel while you clench your hands on your lap, already missing his light touch and wishing to have his hand resting on yours again.
Grabbing your empty left hand with your right one, you clutch them together tightly to stop yourself from reaching out to him just as you respond to him, “That is true. But we need to make sure to remind my Mom not to talk about Missy’s pregnancy with her third child since it wouldn’t line up with the timeline.” You almost roll your eyes when you say this, since it is the only thing that your mother had been talking about during family dinners. Especially since your best friend had specifically asked your mother if she would be available to watch over the other two little ones when the time would come for the baby to arrive.
You almost grimace when you think about this. It’s not that you are not happy with Missy’s good news. But being near a pregnant woman had always made you feel uncomfortable, much less to hear it being talked about constantly. It doesn’t matter if she is your best friend and that she had been there during your own pregnancy and your loss, but being reminded of that phase in your life had been extremely hard for you to deal with.
“Dutifully noted,” Namjoon responds to you with a smile, unaware of where your mind had wandered off to. “How are your parents taking this, though? I know that this situation isn’t quite ideal and it doesn’t seem fair to get them all involved.”
You release a sigh. “It sure isn’t, but they try to understand. They both care about Winny, after all, so they didn’t question it too much. I think the prospect of getting to enjoy the holiday break outside of the house became their top priority to think about so they really don’t think much about everything else.”
Your parents had been surprised when you told them about your plans to join Namjoon and his family on their trip to the mountains. Whatever they had expected when you announced that you were going to see Namjoon and to have one of the most life-changing conversations of all, it was probably nowhere close to this, and neither of you could imagine it would end up this way. But then Namjoon extended his invitation to have your parents come along on the trip, and they simply stopped questioning it. Even if it has become pretty obvious that your father is still feeling a bit wary about the whole thing.
As the drive continues and the air grows denser, you are relieved that there is only the two of you in this ride, with your families traveling separately as they all left early at dawn to beat the bad weather. While Namjoon’s parents had gone to the mountain cottage first with Winny and his sister, you had convinced your parents and your dear uncle to join Bernie in his truck so that you can have some more time with Namjoon to plan things out properly. It had also been his idea to come together as a unit, showing a front that would please Winny by coming together in the same car as if you had been staying in the same old cabin that you had lived in with Namjoon since you came back.
“How do your parents feel about all of this?” you ask him in the middle of the conversation, just as you are reminded of his mother, who had treated you like a second daughter since you got married to Namjoon. You have grown so close to each other that she had even gone to the city with your parents to attend your graduation from law school three years ago.
“Just as I told you before, all we really want is for Winny to get better. No matter at what cost. They, uh—they know what we’re planning to do, but only to the point that we are going to be there together to indulge Winny. I can definitely say that the news had pretty much surprised my parents when I told them about you coming on this trip, but I think they’re just happy to know that you’re going to be there for her. That, and because we can finally have you joining our family this year.”
You nod your head, ignoring the feeling of longing blooming in your chest at the thought of meeting his family again. “How’s your Mom doing?”
Namjoon’s smile grows. “She’s doing great. She’s been busy with her shop downtown, but overall, I think she’s having the best time of her life with it,” he says, his eyes flickering between you and the road while his smile widens when he sees you smiling back.
“I’m glad to hear that. She had always wanted to do her own thing.”
“She’s also been helping me out at the bar. You know that she’s acting as the head manager, right? Practically Bernie’s boss and she gets to boss see around, even if I own the fucking place,” he says with a chuckle that rises up to a series of laughter after seeing your reaction to what he had just told you. “I’m serious! She was the first person to support me when I told everyone I was going to buy the property and rebuild the place. Then she got all excited when the place was coming together that she simply offered to get involved. She began by tending the bar with Bernie, making sure to help me run the whole thing once I officially had it open for business. She usually bartends during the day while serving lunch. You just happened to come during the days when she took a break and let Bernie work all day.”
Picturing yourself entering the bar with your mother-in-law standing behind the counter has you laughing amusedly. “I would have probably shocked her pants off if she had been there when I first came by.”
He gives you a small smile before he turns back to the road. “Especially with those papers in your hand,” you hear him muttering softly, though the rumbling sound of his truck drowns the words that you are not completely sure if you had heard him correctly. And he gives you no chance to question it when he makes a sudden turn, leaving the main road to drive through a long gravel-covered road until a fenced property comes to sight.
“We’re here,” he says as he drives through the wide opened front gate, slowing the truck down until a rather spacious plane of snow and a frozen pond appear, and the cottage—that does not fit its title at all—rises to view. The cottage, as Namjoon has called it, is a three-story mountain lodging with red brick walls, massive stone columns protruding on its sides. Large windows with rustic wood frames fill the sides of the lodge, overlooking the beautiful scenery of the snow covered mountains and trees, while the open balcony on the upper floor seems to be enough to fit the entire family to hang out on if anyone wants to stay out in the cold.
“This place looks amazing,” you find yourself muttering softly as you marvel at the beautiful sight of the building, while Namjoon remains silent as he drives his fancy truck to the side, finding the empty spot between Bernie’s fancy truck and your uncle’s older one that has already gotten covered with a thin veil of snow.
Namjoon sets the truck to a park before leaning back in his seat. Then he turns to you just as you look at him, a smile on his face when he says, “Thank you.”
It takes you a moment before you finally understand what he is trying to say.
“You built it,” you tell him rather than asking him for confirmation, and Namjoon gives you nothing but a smile to respond. “I thought you said your family is renting the place?”
Namjoon nods. “It belongs to the Mayor. But I was the one who helped build it, renovated it from the old hunting cabin that he inherited from his father to look the way it is now. All I did was added more floors and built bigger rooms inside to fit a whole family. It did make it easier for us to get a cheap price to stay here through Christmas because of that. The man is also an old friend of Winny’s from school, so I think that’s also the reason why he’s letting us use the place for as long as we want to.”
You open your mouth to make a comment, but find yourself unable to find the right words. You don’t even give the lodge another look, too amused at your husband. You have been hearing different things about him from the people around you—how much he has changed, how far he had turned his life around after you were gone, and you are beginning to see him in a different light.
In a way, it amuses you just how far he can go once he put his mind on it. On the other hand, it makes you feel—jealous, betrayed, dejected, because this is exactly what you had wanted from him years ago. This is the side of him that you had wanted to see, and all he did then was defy you, constantly refusing your help and support while not being able to see how much you wanted to help him become the person he is today. And it is somehow hurting you to find out that he had only chosen to start trying again once you were out of the picture, and only once you were no longer a part of his life.
Which only shows that he surely had not been doing all of this for you.
“Shall we come in? I have a feeling that everyone would have been waiting for us.” Namjoon glances towards the lodging before looking at you, keeping a smile on his face as he is still unaware of how you have your mind wandering off to the past or to even notice the hurt you are feeling in your chest.
Suddenly, not only does he appear to you like a new person, you only see him as a stranger. Perhaps he was right, after all, when he said that the two of you had been walking in different paths. That maybe it was not meant to be. That you had always meant to walk another path without him by your side. Somehow, keeping this thought only helps seal your mind into getting things done as soon as possible and return to the life waiting for you once this is all over.
“Alright, let’s get things rolling.”
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If you had been mesmerised by its outer skin, you find yourself getting more amused and astounded as Namjoon takes you inside the lodge.
His mother welcomes you at the front door with a big hug, lingering for a moment to squeeze you in her arms as if you are still the young girl she used to watch over when your parents were away. “It’s so good to see you again, ______,” she whispers to you, lowering her voice so that you would be the only one to hear her.
“I’m happy to see you again too,” you respond to her before you part ways, and you nearly tear up with emotions when you find her still smiling at you with her glossy eyes taking you in.
“Come say hi to everyone else.”
Letting Namjoon takes your hand in his, you walk hand-in-hand to enter the main living room where everyone is gathering, sitting and lounging on the loveseats with warm drinks and snacks that fill the air with their wonderful fragrance, no doubt Winny’s creation straight from her own kitchen. You linger briefly near the foyer to talk with your in-laws first, before greeting your parents who are joined by your uncle and Bernie near the fireplace. Right across the room, sitting close to the massive Christmas tree—one that appears to have been cut straight from the mountain forest before it was placed inside the room—together with Namjoon’s sister is Winny, who is looking straight at you with wide eyes and her smile hidden behind the cup she is holding up as she takes dainty sips of her drink.
Namjoon pulls you to his side as you walk away from your parents, brushing his lips across your temple as he whispers, “Don’t be nervous.”
“Got it,” you whisper back to him, giving him a smile as he pulls back. You let him guide you to grab a drink from the nearest table where the refreshments have been set up before walking over to greet Winny.
However, right before you can make it to the table and grab the hot chocolate drink that seems to be calling your name, Winny stops both you and Namjoon from moving across the room when she suddenly calls out,
“Stop. Hold it right there!”
Both you and Namjoon stop moving at the same time and your heartbeat begins to rise. You are practically clutching his hand tightly in yours and almost clinging onto his arm completely just to keep yourself from crumbling on the floor. Feeling completely scrutinised under Winny’s gaze, your nerves begin spiking up that you are too afraid to make a move. Just as you are beginning to feel the blood draining from your face, wondering if you had somehow shown a tell to blow this whole charade before it has any chance to start, a bright smile grows on Winny’s face, while her eyes are filled with mirth and joy and something else that you cannot truly decipher.
Suddenly, she raises a hand and points up, aiming right above your heads and says, “Look, you are standing right below a mistletoe. You know it’s a bad omen to step away from it without a kiss.”
Your heart drops, while Winny looks too adorably excited that you find no way to deny her. So you turn to your husband, meeting his wide eyes that are looking at you with pure confusion and doubt, before his gaze shows a silent understanding when he pulls you closer and wraps his arm around your waist. He gives you a small smile as his head dips, the mask that he has been wearing around you slipping from his face for the briefest moment before his lips are suddenly on yours, giving you a chaste kiss that feels too good and yet ends too soon. The kiss feels brief, and yet it is enough to set your whole body to come alive, to bring warmth rolling in waves from where he is kissing and touching you and all the way down to the tip of your toes.
And for some strange reason, you refuse to let this feeling fade away too soon. He tries to pull away once he ends the kiss, but you immediately wrap your arms around his neck to keep him close.
“Need to make it believable, remember?” you whisper against his lips, before pushing yourself up to your tiptoes so you can press your lips on his, starting with a chaste kiss that feels just as innocent as the one he gave you. Only that instead of pulling away, you press harder, moulding your lips with his to let it linger.
Namjoon grows stiff at first, before his hold on your body tightens, pulling you further into his chest as he begins to return the kiss with the same fervour, his tongue slipping out sneakily as he devours your lips to have a taste, and it has your body lighting up as if he had set up a flame somewhere deep within you.
A soft sigh escapes from your throat and it snaps you right out of it, clearing out your muddled brain to remind you of where you are. Ever so gently, you pull away, keeping your arms around him still when you open your eyes, finding him watching you with dilated eyes that are slowly filled with a hint of shock. Though you can easily see that there is also warmth in his gaze, a hint of longing that has your heart pinching tightly in your chest.
“Oh, that’s what I’ve been waiting to see, my favourite couple being full of love the way they always do,” Winny exclaims with a soft clap. Everyone in the room gives a burst of nervous laughter—except for Bernie who is standing in the corner with a knowing smile on his face and Namjoon’s mother who is watching you with a pair of glossy eyes that she quickly hides by turning to grab her glass from the table—but Winny doesn’t seem to notice this as she rises from her seat and makes her way towards the two of you.
“Look at you,” she says, taking your face in her palms just as Namjoon releases you from his hold. “You’ve become an elegant woman already. Oh, why did time have to move so fast? I used to be able to watch you grow and suddenly you are looking so mature it feels like time has completely slipped right out of me. ”
Guilt slowly seeps in, but you force a smile to your face when you answer her, “It’s good to see you again, Winny. I’m sorry I’ve been away.”
For a moment, the only thing that Winny does is to look at you, her gaze studying you closely with an intense look that you cannot possibly read even as you are looking at her closely. “I’ve missed you too, kiddo. But I’m glad to see you two back here together again,” she says, giving you an odd look on her face as she speaks, making you start questioning things silently and feeling your doubt brewing inside your head. Before you can think too much of it, Winny turns her gaze to Namjoon and smiles gently. “Joon must have felt relieved to see you back home.”
“Oh, I’m not so sure about that,” you try to lighten things up with a joke, though you still find it hard to hide the nervous chuckle bubbling from inside you. Noticing this, Namjoon wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you back to him, pressing you to his side.
“Don’t listen to her, Winny. Of course it makes me happy to have her home with me,” he says, once again planting a kiss on the top of your head.
Seeing this, Winny simply nods her head. “Well, I better let you kids go to your room and rest. I know it was a long drive. Go on, grab some hot chocolate and snacks or take your time to get settled in and come back down to have a drink with me once you’re ready.”
Once the short encounter is done, you part ways with Winny, giving her another hug before leaving the room. Namjoon takes you upstairs, leading you to the bedroom that you would be sharing with each other during your stay. He keeps holding your hand even when nobody is looking and he only lets you go once you are in the room.
“This is it. I hope it’s okay that we’re going to be holed up here for a while,” Namjoon smiles sheepishly while you turn your eyes away to find the king-sized bed in the middle of the room. All of a sudden, your body feels warm just thinking about sharing the room and perhaps split the bed with him. But then you hear Namjoon clearing his throat, possibly seeing the look on your face as discomfort and then points at the sofa bench placed in the corner of the room. “You can take the bed, and I can take the bench if that would make you feel more comfortable.”
You take a good look at the sofa that doesn’t exactly look comfortable to sleep on and simply cannot imagine him sleeping all night on that thing. But you say nothing about it. As if he takes your silence as a yes, Namjoon only smiles and nods at you. “Alright, I’ll leave you to change and unpack, maybe lie down for a moment. I know you might want to chill a little before going back out there. I’ll go down and grab the rest of our bags.”
He catches your gaze as you look up at him again, and his smile softens to whatever he sees in your eyes. “I won’t be long. I promise.”
“Okay.”
Namjoon closes the door gently behind him as he leaves the room, while you take a seat on the edge of the bed just as your knees are beginning to feel weak. Only then do you finally realise that your legs have been trembling for a while now, and the only reason why you even managed to keep on standing was simply because you had been holding tightly onto Namjoon’s arms the whole time.
You release a deep sigh as you are trying to wrap your head around everything. You have to admit, that you have been feeling as if you are walking in the clouds and it has been this way ever since you walked past the front door. It is not so much because of the ruse that you are feeling this way, but for everything around it. And for the most part, it is all because of Namjoon.
You had known that you would need to play your part in this whole thing, and you have been preparing for it for the past few days before coming here. The only thing that you had not expected was to have your whole mind and body reacting this way over a simple kiss.
The kiss that you shared with Namjoon had only been a show, one that had been completely unplanned—when neither of you had expected that Winny would be asking for such request only moments after you arrived—but you cannot deny and say that your body is only reacting to it now as a part of your scheme and it is left you questioning things when you are supposed to keep a clear head while getting into this.
This wouldn’t be the first time that Namjoon has affected you when you are with him.
For the purpose of planning the ruse and getting used to being with him again without feeling all the awkwardness and to stop you from acting like strangers with one another, you had been seeing him constantly—from going out on lunch dates with him and coming to the bar to see him at night—and while all those meetings have been nothing but friendly encounters, you cannot deny the way he has been making you feel.
At first, it had taken you a while to stop feeling uneasy for being around him and appearing in town together with him, but then the need to get used to each other’s presence again had been stronger than your past resentment to one another that you slowly got used to it. Until you soon found yourself easing into things as if everything around you had gotten back to the way they were.
The comfortable silence that would fall between you had seemed like a warm blanket more than it gave you the awkwardness that you had feared to find when you had first thought about spending time with him. The light touches that he had given you—the ones that you let him do while telling yourself that it had to be done as practice—kept giving your body all the odd tingles that had been surprising but was never unwelcome.
Sitting here alone while thinking about all of this, you also notice how it suddenly feels like there is a void inside your chest that has been growing since the moment he walked out the door, as if you had grown so used to his presence that you had been clinging to it for comfort. The silence that accompanies you in his absence is not only making you feel the presence of the void even more, but it is giving you a chance to think, to look back into the past few days while wondering why the light tremors that his kiss had ignited in you have yet to fade.
A part of you seems to be telling you that perhaps being with him has awakened the feelings that you had felt for him but left buried for years. But you ignore the voices, denying that you may still have a lingering feeling for him left. Perhaps you still do care about him, perhaps you always have, but you are not quite sure if this feeling is anything close to the fierce, burning love that you used to have for him.
Perhaps what you have for him is nothing more but an infatuation, and it is building up inside you only because you are seeing him as a different person and not as the man that you had left behind.
Yes, that is simply what this is and nothing more, you keep convincing yourself even as you press your fingers on your lips, tracing the lingering sparks that have been left there from his kiss.
Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath to gather your resolve back, reminding yourself the reason why you had come here in the first place. Soon, everything will be over, and you will be free to move on, to leave all of this behind without any regret. Whatever Namjoon makes you feel would be temporary, and you have no doubt that it all stems from the memory that you had together in the past, the nostalgia that still remains in your head and not because you simply still love him or care about him the way you used to be in the past.
As you wait for Namjoon to return, you keep repeating this to yourself, refusing to give in to the illusions carried by your old, buried feelings, while convincing yourself to be stronger, hoping that your words alone would be enough to get you through this charade in one piece.
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The moment dinner time arrives in the evening, you only find that none of the things you kept telling yourself all day even mattered, or if any of them truly worked. Not when your mind keeps bringing you back to the kiss that you shared with Namjoon even as you are sitting among the others at the dinner table. And with Namjoon sitting right beside you, his presence serves as both the comfort that you need and, at the same time, the catalyst, when he ignites every spark, every reaction, and—every time you would look at him and your eyes would find his lips again—every flash of memory from the kiss.
No matter what you have done to try and get that moment out of your head, there is no stopping you from rewinding it again to yourself. There is no denying that—even if you keep telling yourself that it didn’t matter—the kiss still rattles you in a way that your body continues to react so easily to him. Your body shudders to each brush of his hand through dinner or whenever he leans closer to speak. Your skin would tingle when he is pressing to your side as he eats his meal. The fact that you are simply unable to avoid every gesture he is openly showing to the others at the table to play his part as the dotting husband only makes you feel more hyperaware of his presence. And it is certainly giving you quite a challenge, when you need to constantly hold back and hide all the shudders he brings forth within you, preventing it from showing out for everyone else who is present to see.
“You know how proud I am to hear about how well you’re doing in school, don’t you? I’ve told this to Joon time and time again since you started school again, but we all have hopes for you to make it big,” Winny says, turning to you after you saw her talking to your mother.
Feeling all the attention that seems to be drawn to you all so suddenly, you can only chuckle nervously while shifting in your seat, barely realising that you would lean a bit closer to Namjoon when this happens. “I don’t know about reaching anything big, but—” You turn to glance at Namjoon, gauging at his reaction and using his smile the encouragement that you need to keep on talking. “I do enjoy being in school, and I can’t wait to graduate soon and see where it leads me.”
The lie feels bitter on your tongue, but it is nothing compared to the guilt you feel in your chest for deceiving your grandmother-in-law.
Meanwhile, Winny simply nods, completely unaware of the turmoil that you are having.“Namjoon has also been making me proud. I think he wants to prove to himself and to the family that he can keep up with you. He’s shown me this bar he’s been working on and I think he’s doing quite a great job on it.”
The pride in her eyes is contagious, and you find yourself smiling proudly as you turn to Namjoon. “Well, he sure has been surprising me with a lot of what he’s been doing. I’ve been spending my time at the bar with him since I got back and I love seeing what he had done to the place.”
To your pleasure, Namjoon appears embarrassed to hear your compliment. A shy smile appears on his face and he dips his head to hide the blush forming on his skin. But then he reaches out to grab your hand gently in his and starts running his thumb absentmindedly on your knuckles when he speaks again, “I’m glad to hear that, coming from you. You have been my inspiration behind everything that I’ve been doing, after all.”
He looks straight into your eyes as he says those words, and a shiver instantly runs down your spine when you can clearly see the sincerity in the way he is looking at you. As if those words were real. Then you look away just as your face grows hot, finding Bernie sitting at the end of the table while giving you a knowing look. Everything that he said to you from the other day rings inside your head, and your heartbeat picks up.
“Joon here did all of this by himself—with a lot of our help, of course. Said he did it all for—”
There is no way, you tell yourself, refusing to let your mind go anywhere that you really have no right to venture into. But you keep these thoughts to yourself, forcing a smile to your face and holding it together as Namjoon brings your hand up and presses a kiss on the back of your hand. The gesture instantly sparks a reaction through your body, a delightful spark that you haven’t felt for a long time comes shooting through your skin, and you find yourself unable to look away, completely hypnotised by his warm gaze that keeps drawing you closer to him, and the touch that seems to bring back all the emotions that you had once thought had been lost.
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The rest of the dinner simply flew by like a fleeting dream. Though it didn’t stop you from slipping away from the others only an hour after dinner has been wrapped up to find a place to hide.
You had managed to hold yourself together through the rest of the dinner without so much of a blunder even with the continuous moments you find yourself getting too lost inside your head for all the feelings that Namjoon had brought up in you.
And he was not the only one who had made you feel these things.
Sitting outside the lodge, you can hear the voices coming from inside. You can tell that everyone is currently doing their own thing to enjoy the night. You can hear the sound of your parents laughing from the seating lounge as they are keeping Winny company near the fireplace while Namjoon’s parents are no doubt enjoying their drinking party with Bernie in the kitchen pantry. The last time you saw Namjoon was right before you stepped out onto the porch, catching the sight of him having an intense conversation with his sister in the living room and away from the others.
Being around everyone, having both families joined together and sharing this moment have been enjoyable, and it was surprising to see just how easy it has been for you to dive right back in despite how long you have been away from them. Watching everyone interact and enjoy their dinner left you swamped with emotions, just the way it did during your family dinner the other night when everyone was present, laughing and chatting as if the time when you were gone had been non-existent. You felt exactly the same way earlier, and it had made you somewhat uneasy, when it felt both like coming home while making you feel like a fraud at the same time.
As if you no longer deserved to be sitting here among them, indulging in the warmth of their companion and acting like a member of the family when you haven’t been one for a long time.
It had become too overwhelming when you still couldn’t shake the feeling off even after dinner had ended that you simply had to get away, and that was the reason why you have found yourself here, sitting on the long wooden bench—one that looks a bit too similar to the old wooden bench you have back at home—to find solace and perhaps have your peace with the silence as your companion. You were also hoping that being out here would give you a chance to clear your head before heading up to your room to end the night, but your mind keeps wandering all over the place, taking you back to the events happening throughout the day and sometimes way back to the past where everything had seemed to be perfectly in control, before it had gone into a complete mess.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
You nearly jump at Namjoon’s deep voice as he appears at the door, smiling amusedly at you. “God, you scared me,” you mutter softly while pressing a hand over your heart, hoping that it would calm back down.
“Sorry,” he chuckles at you as he leans against the wooden doorframe. “What are you doing out here in the cold?”
You press your lips together, wondering just what to say to him, though you immediately realise what a mistake it would be to hide these things from him. Not when he is the only one currently on your side.
“I just need to do some thinking on my own,” you finally tell him with a shrug, and his gaze softens. “Where’s everyone?” you ask him when you realise that the voices coming from inside have gone down.
Namjoon glances over his shoulders and takes a look inside through the open door briefly before turning back to you. “Most of them have gone up to their rooms, including Winny. Our Dads are planning to go to the shop early in the morning for the barbecue lunch tomorrow so they’re settling down early. The only ones left are Bernie and your uncle who are trying to work on finishing that bottle of whiskey I brought them earlier,” he says, chuckling softly before his warm gaze returns. “And then there’s us.”
“And then there’s us,” you mutter softly, mirroring his words with a small voice.
You bite your lips, hating how powerless you are against the flutters forming inside you and how surprisingly good it feels. The warmth in your belly feels comforting, but it makes you grow wary to let it linger for far too long. You should be standing up and start to make your leave, and then hide in the bedroom instead of sitting here under his gaze and enjoying the way he is making you feel. Suddenly, you feel like a teenager again, the same way you felt when you hid away with him during one of the parties that your school friends were holding at the time and he had ended up giving you your first kiss.
“Mind if I join you?” he asks you gently while his eyes never once stray away from you, and you find yourself unable to refuse.
You should say no to him and walk away, the small voice inside your head whispers to you, telling you to retreat for the night and walk away from him. It would be much safer, the voice speaks, and you can swear that you can hear it trembling, filled with the fear of having the wounds that you had once carried inside you returning. But the pounding in your heart becomes stronger, drowning the voices that keep sending you all the warning signs, and the words simply slip out before you can stop them,
“No, go ahead.”
A smile of relief comes to his face and he walks over to take the empty seat next to you while you slide away to give him space. You still haven’t gotten used to the new muscular built he is now sporting that you almost forget that he wouldn’t fit easily to your side so you cannot escape it when he brushes against you. The bench groans a little as he drops himself right next to you while he instantly engulfs you with his warmth. Goosebumps begin to form on your skin even without him touching you directly that you just lean back, trying your best not to make it obvious by rubbing your hands on your arms to hide it.
“It’s quite a lot to take in, isn’t it?” he suddenly asks you, keeping his voice low enough that you almost miss it. You turn to him to find him smiling at you while you have no idea how to respond. “I’m sorry for putting you through this.”
Swallowing hard, you can only nod your head slowly. “I wouldn’t say you are solely responsible in all of this. We wouldn’t have been in this spot if I hadn’t come to rush you into—”
Signing the divorce papers.
Shoot. For a while there you had almost forgotten the real reason why you are here in the first place and why you had agreed to become a part of this whole ruse. There is an icy prick poking in your chest when you are reminded that this whole thing has a time limit, and it surprises you to feel this way. There is no way you would want this whole thing to carry on, not when you have another life waiting for you. Another story for you to live through.
Another man who is waiting for you to return.
You shake your head, still cannot believe how easily you find yourself straying away from what you are meant to do. You should have expected this, when you knew what you were getting into by joining this trip. But it had somehow slipped your mind completely to prepare yourself against this, to remember that Namjoon would not be the only one that would be able to draw out all the memories and to stir your heart. Regardless of all the lies, the secrets that you are still keeping from everyone, and the horrible charade you are playing, you cannot deny how it makes you feel like you are finally home.
For years, you had thought that being here would only bring back all the hurt, that you would be constantly reminded of your painful past when all of the elements are present together. But it had turned out that the only things that have been brought back up while you are with everyone who are dear to your heart are the memory of the love that you had shared with them, the good times, and the comfort of coming home.
And for some reason, there is a part of you that doesn’t mind being here, to forget the world outside of this bubble and the life where this warm feeling doesn’t exist. Letting this thought linger inside your head, you find yourself admitting it loudly to Namjoon about it before you can stop it.
“I have to admit that I’ve missed all of this. To be around the family, to hear Bernie’s dirty jokes. And most importantly, being around Winny,” you mutter softly, turning to him with a smile just as you stop yourself from admitting how much you have missed the part of your life which you had once shared with him, only because you would have to admit that you have been missing him too. “I was nervous about meeting them all at once, but everyone was enjoying themselves that I just got into the festive mood pretty easily.”
“I think we both did pretty well for the first round,” Namjoon says, nodding his head.
“I’ll say,” you chuckle softly at him. “Though, I do admit—being around Winny for too long makes me nervous. Sometimes I’ll find myself talking to her and then the moment she brings up something from three years ago as if they had just happened, I’ll feel so guilty that I just want to admit everything.” You look back with a sigh. “Especially when she brought up the candy apple. I probably would’ve bawled my eyes out and told her that the last fair we went to together happened 4 years ago and not last year if you hadn’t come to change the topic.”
Namjoon laughs softly as he recalls that moment, when he came to the rescue at the perfect time while you were stuttering in front of Winny while she was reminiscing about the old town’s fair that you had gone to together. “All I did was look at your eyes and I knew you were panicking. I did what I had to do.”
“My saviour,” you whisper to him with a teasing tone in your voice, making him smile.
“That’s what teammates do, be there for each other,” he says, speaking in a low voice that warms your skin. He falls silent for a moment when your gazes meet each other, and the playfulness in his eyes fades. “We used to make a great team, you and I.”
We certainly did, the small voice in your head responds to him, just as a painful twist appears in your chest. The betrayal that you had felt before when you thought about his changes comes stabbing deeper into your chest, and it grows even deeper when you remind yourself that you are no longer a part of his life, just as much as he is no longer a part of yours.
“Don’t do that,” you say to him as you look away, avoiding his gaze that suddenly feels so intense that it nearly burns you just by looking back at him. “Let’s not go there, Namjoon.”
The way he is looking at you makes you feel exposed, that no matter what you do to shield yourself and hide from him, he can still make you feel as if you are holding out your heart, that you are baring your soul for him to see. So you keep your eyes looking away, focusing on the trees around the lodge instead of letting him see through your facade.
“Why not?” he whispers, and you realise that in your effort of trying to avoid him and to push him away, Namjoon has shifted closer. You can feel his arm resting on the backrest behind you while his warmth comes pressing to your side. “Can’t I talk about the good old past? We were sharing all the great memories from when we were kids and we even acted like how we used to be in the past. Is it not okay to just talk about it, for old time sake?”
“That—that’s different and you know it,” you respond to him with a voice barely a whisper. And you hate the way your body is truly reacting to him, as your skin grows hot when you feel his warm breath falls against you, brushing softly right where the top of your sweater falls over from your shoulders. A faint scent of whisky wafts between you and you lift your eyes to him. “Are you drunk? Is that why you’re not making sense right now? Or did you hit your head on your way out here?”
Namjoon laughs and shakes his head. “You know I barely had any alcohol through dinner. Neither of us did since we promised to stay sober while we’re around Winny, remember?” he says with a chuckle, and you begin to regret turning to look at him. You have failed to realise how much closer he is to you now, that he is basically leaning over you and keeping you trapped against the bench with nowhere to escape. His eyes are dark, and there is something in his gaze that you have not seen for a long time as he keeps looking at you. His presence feels intimidating, intense, leaving you completely entranced that you can barely hold back from leaning closer and letting yourself be drawn to him.
“I only took a shot of whiskey from Bernie and your uncle before I walked out here to find you, but my head is still as clear as day. I’m only curious, are you saying that you didn’t feel a thing when we kissed? Do I not make your heart race anymore?”
Your mouth falls open, both in shock and for finding yourself almost giving him the answer that he seems to be searching for.
Because the answer is yes.
Yes, you did feel something—a lot of things—when you kissed him under the mistletoe and right in front of your families who knew nothing about the deal you have made with each other.
Yes, he makes your heart race, just the way he is doing it now, simply by being so close, for having his face leaning close to yours that you clench your hands tightly to stop yourself from reaching out and pulling his head so you can devour his lips again.
And yes, your heart is still racing, not only because of his presence, but also because of the way he is looking at you as if you are a mystery for him to unfold. The curiosity, the astonishment, the wonder—you can see it all, all the emotions dancing in his eyes, and you wonder if you are showing him all the same thing when you return his gaze while your face is burning under his gaze.
But you take a deep breath, willing your body to stop reacting to him and swallow hard. “Everything is in the past, Joon. Right where we left it. And we’ve moved on from it.”
Namjoon clenches his jaw, though there is a glint of his amusement in his eyes when he says, “We did leave all of that behind, didn’t we?” His voice comes out so soft that it almost seems like he is questioning himself rather than expecting an answer from you. Then his sly grin returns when he lifts his hand, brushing against your forearm that shows under the sleeves of your sweater, his fingers tracing gently on your skin before he begins trailing them upwards ever so slowly, all the way to your shoulder.
“Do you really not feel anything anymore? Not even when I touch you like this?” Then he stops, only for a brief moment, before you feel his fingers moving to brush your hair away, exposing the nape of your neck, where he then runs a featherlight touch with his long fingers until he draws a shudder through your body. ”Not even when I do this?” he whispers, keeping his eyes on you the entire time to watch your reaction, no doubt catching the way your eyes are dilating to his touch or the way your breath hitches right when the tip of his fingers brush against the sensitive spot beneath your ear.
“No,” you answer him, but even you know that your answer holds no truth when you are trembling against him, and your voice has come out breathless, almost to a sigh, when the shudders running through your body is still existent and you can no longer fight against it.
Namjoon must have caught on to how your body is truly reacting to him no matter how much you try to hide it, because he only seems to keep leaning closer, his head dipping lower, coming so close that you are suddenly feeling his lips ghosting over yours, just a hairbreadth away from yours when he finally stops himself.
“And you won’t feel a thing if I kiss you right now? A real kiss, not a part of a show where we have audiences watching and expecting us to perform for them?” he whispers against your lips. “There is only you and me out here, Baby Doll. Nobody else but us.”
He looks down at you for a long, silent moment before he dips his head, placing a chaste kiss on your lips. He pulls away right after, just far enough to what you imagine as a way for him to gauge your reaction. He looks at you for another beat of a moment before he does the same thing. He dips his head, giving you a brief, closed-mouthed kiss, lingering for a moment longer this time, before he slowly pulls away again.
This time, you are the one searching for his eyes. Deep down, you both know just how wrong this is. How this cannot happen. And most importantly, why this should never happen. But right now, it doesn’t seem to matter. The pull between the two of you which you had once thought had somehow vanished right before you left is still there and you cannot seem to shake it off. Not when he is this close, with his warmth rolling between you and the shadow of his touches still ripples on your skin.
Maybe it is due to the fact that you are stuck in this place together. Maybe the entire night of reminiscing the past and having his grandmother doting you as if you had never left makes you feel like you are right where you belong. Maybe it is the melancholy, knowing that this would be the last time, that you would have to let him go for good once everything is over, no matter what history you have had together and what you still feel for each other. But there is a strong feeling of need inside you that makes you want him more now in a way that you haven’t felt before. And it is taking over you to the point that you can no longer hold back.
When he dips his head toward you again, only after noticing how you no longer have your guards up against him, you slide your hands up his chest, grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him into you. You part your lips, almost begging him to deepen the kiss, and he happily obliges, sliding his tongue against yours before he trails it over your bottom lip.
You can taste the bite of alcohol on his tongue and you pull him even closer. The move seems to snap him out of his final restraint, and he is suddenly reaching out for you, no longer holding back. His hand slides up your back, fisting into your hair as he moves the other to start fumbling with your knitted sweater. He somehow manages to slide his hand inside, then wraps the same hand around your waist to pull you even closer, almost lifting you onto his lap.
You gasp softly against his lips as his hand reaches behind you, finding the zipper of the dress you have been wearing underneath the sweater and starts sliding it down. You must have been so distracted by his kiss that you fail to realise how your cardigan had slipped right off your shoulders, giving him more leeway in doing the same with the strap of your dress, and he pulls back just as the front of your dress falls over, exposing your covered breasts to his eyes.
A soft groan slips out of Namjoon’s lips when his gaze falls on your heaving chest, while pure hunger appears in his eyes, dark and intense, making you grow hot just by having him rake his gaze all over you. He wastes no more time as his hand finds your breast, touching you gently while he uses his other hand to slip behind you, unfastening your bra so easily as if he has done this to you many times before. You think nothing of it when you simply lean forward, pressing your lips on the nape of his neck while he makes a quick work on your clothes—unhooking your bra with what seems to be a flick of his wrist before sliding his hand underneath, trailing his fingers across your skin all the way from your back and then coming around to find your breast. He slides the straps of your bra off your shoulders, his fingers finding the sensitive skin around your nipple, making its tip harden before he finally rubs a thumb across the nub.
His lips suddenly find yours again just as the touch draws a gasp right out of you, though he doesn’t stop you from moaning into his mouth as he begins to devour your lips with more heat and hunger while he keeps touching you, sending surges of pleasure all through your body with the light traces of his long fingers. You hear a soft grunt coming out of his throat, but you continue kissing him, refusing to let him stop or to let any drop of doubt fall between you. While his touches remain on your skin, you reach out to him and begin to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, suddenly having the urge to feel his skin, to bask in his warmth, and to feel him shudder under your touch the same way he is doing it to you.
Just as you tug on his shirt, a deep groan rumbles from his chest again and his grip on your waist tightens just as he pulls you up to his lap. The move happens so suddenly that you can barely stop yourself from falling against his chest with a soft gasp. Then his lips are quick to return to yours, capturing the rest of the sounds you are making both in your shock and as you are drowning in the heat of the moment as he devours your mouth, pouring his desire more freely now that you are reacting and reciprocating his actions.
Your hands are trembling as you blindly release the buttons of his shirt, taking them off one and a time with your eyes closed and his kisses distracting you just as his hands are pressing on your curves, touching you wherever he can reach. You can only faintly hear the sound of him clearing his throat through your muddled senses, and yet he makes no move to pull away and you continue on pressing your lips on his, arching your chest to him, letting your body melt against his as your hips begin to sway, rolling over his lap as you press down against his groin.
The sound that you heard comes back, growing louder, and it takes you a while before you realise that the sound is coming from somewhere else and it wasn’t Namjoon who has been clearing his throat in the middle of kissing you. Both of you instantly pull away from each other as you realise this and Namjoon finally notices the sound. The soft cough returns again and you turn to look at the door just as Namjoon instantly pulls you to his chest to hide your exposed chest for your intruder to see, and your heart plunges in your chest when you see Bernie standing there, looking overly intoxicated after his drinking game with your uncle with a sick grin showing up on his face.
“Ah, sorry to interrupt. Didn’t see you two out here. Was checking to see if the door’s locked and there you are,” he says, slurring a little as he points between the door and the outer side of the porch. Meanwhile, you can feel your face burning hot with shame, though you are glad that Namjoon managed to snap right out of it a bit faster to cover your body from Bernie’s eyes, though you aren’t even quite sure if he can see either of you that well through the dark while he is being so heavily drunk.
As if he notices the way Namjoon is hiding you from him—and most probably only realising now that both you and Namjoon are looking like little deers caught in headlights—Bernie raises his hands in surrender and says, “Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. Scout’s honour.”
While you are still left speechless in your shock, Namjoon chuckles softly. “You go on up and head to bed, Bernie. We’ll make sure to lock the doors up before we come up.”
“Sure thing, Joonie,” Bernie says, nodding like a child before he clumsily turns around and makes his way back through the door. His large frame keeps brushing harshly against the doorframe before he manages to slip right in. You are just beginning to breathe a sigh of relief and are telling yourself that perhaps he really did see nothing, when Bernie suddenly looks over his shoulder and asks, “Don’t you kids think it would be better to do it in your room? It’s freezing out here.”
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“So—how are we going to do this?”
Namjoon lifts his brows at your question and you can see the humour painting his gaze. “Simple. We sleep. I’ll take the sofa and you can keep the whole bed.”
You hold back the urge to roll your eyes at him and sigh, keeping your eyes on him as he stands right beside the bed while you stand on the other side. The heated moment that you shared with him at the porch had been instantly ruined when Bernie caught you both and things had only grown awkward and tense between you since. You could barely look at him when you were both fixing up your clothes and took your time to cool down. Then, once he had made sure that the coast was clear, Namjoon pulled you inside, locking the doors behind you before taking you all the way to the bedroom. Only to once again find yourselves surrounded with an air filled with tension once you were both secured in the confinement of your bedroom.
Your face still feels warm after what had happened downstairs—including the part where you had gotten caught right in the midst of it. As your mind flies back to that moment, your skin tingles right where he was touching you. Your breasts instantly grow hot and tight at the memory of his hands and fingers touching and brushing across your nipples that are now beginning to grow hard beneath your nightshirt. Afraid that he can see it through the thin fabric of your shirt, you cross your arms around your chest, pressing all the delicate tingles down while hiding the way your body is still reacting to him. Though it doesn’t stop you from running your gaze on him, noticing how the material of his shirt seems to cling onto his broad chest and wide shoulders so perfectly well that it barely serves its purpose in covering his body.
At least he is wearing something, you inwardly sigh.
After getting into the bedroom earlier, you had practically run and gone to hide in the bathroom to avoid him. After taking your sweet time washing up and getting yourself ready to bed, you had then returned to the bedroom to find him standing there only in his boxers. The way you had completely forgotten that Namjoon had always slept in the nude when you were still together almost had you screaming. Telling him to put a shirt on and making him promise to at least keep his boxers on had been the first few things that you said to him, much to his amusement. At least it had been entertaining enough for him to do exactly what you asked him to.
You look away before he would notice you staring at his chest. When your eyes fall on the sofa bench which Namjoon keeps insisting to sleep on, you simply grimace, unable to imagine him fitting his hard body on top of the small-sized furniture the way he keeps claiming he would. “No, that won’t do,” you find yourself muttering as you wonder about this. Hearing this, Namjoon tilts his head.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m talking about you, sleeping there,” you point out between him and the sofa before shaking your head. “When there is a perfectly good sized bed right here.”
Namjoon raises his brows and barely holds back his amused smile when he teases you, “Are you trying to seduce me into joining you in bed, Baby Doll?”
“You know what I mean,” you say to him, narrowing your eyes. “I’m only saying that instead of letting me have this whole bed while you torture yourself into that tiny thing, why don’t we just—use the bed?” You stop for a brief moment, trying to ignore the way your cheeks are heating up before adding with a small voice, “Together.”
Namjoon’s eyes are glowing with glee when he questions you about it. “So you have nothing untoward planned for me? We’re just going to—sleep?”
“Funny. That would be the last thing I’d ever do. And we’re not just going to split the space by pointing between us to decide which of us gets which side,” you continue by pointing at his side to your side. “You can take that side and I’ll take this side. And then—” Giving him a sweet smile, you pull a thick pillow from the pile of them resting against the bed’s headboard, fluffing it in your hands a few times before placing it in the middle and add, “These pillows, the ones that we won’t be using to sleep, will be here in the middle.”
Namjoon’s eyes fall onto the pillow and his smile falls as you continue to add more pillows right in the middle of the bed and make it look like a fort. “You’re making a barrier?”
“Yep.”
“You’re creating a line with pillows.”
“Exactly. And it’s a fort, actually.”
Namjoon looks up and raises his eyebrows at you. “Let me guess, we’re not allowed to trespass each other’s territory?”
Clapping your hands, you make a sound like he had just the grand prize in a big quiz. “That’s right. No crossing over to this area if you don’t want to get your balls kicked.”
He looks at you, looking genuinely surprised, before he starts laughing. “Alright, Baby Doll. Whatever you say.”
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Warmth comes trickling as the morning slowly sneaks in, brushing against your skin like delicate fingers teasing you to wake up, coaxing you to embrace the morning for a fresh start. As you slowly come awake, you breathe in deeply, inhaling the familiar musky scent that feels like home, wrapping you alongside the two gentle arms that are keeping you comfortable and safe in a loving embrace. And then the sound of a steady heartbeat begins to pick up, slowly rising, sounding clearer and clearer, inviting, mesmerising, and you snuggle against it, embracing the warmth that comes with it, only to notice that you are no longer snuggling against the soft pillows that you had been resting on all night.
It takes you another moment before you are finally pulled out of your slumber completely, before finding yourself resting on something solid, that there is a warm surface present under your palm. The smooth texture of Namjoon’s shirt appears to your bleary eyes when you slowly open them, letting you know that you have somehow gone over the pillow fort, and had landed on top of his hard chest instead. With your head right on top of his beating heart, your palm resting over his abdomen, and your legs entwined together, it simply appears as if you had locked onto one another in your sleep.
Namjoon’s breathing is still steady, even if he has one of his arms resting around your waist. Trying to relax as not to startle him awake, you begin to rake your brain to find a way to slip right out of his clutch without waking him up. The first thing you do is to slip your legs out of his, before gently peeling yourself from him, only to have his arm tightening around you to stop you from moving away.
“Where are you going?” His voice sounds deep and hoarse with sleep, but it stirs something deep inside you like a flame licking from within. It has you clenching your thighs together, your body going stiff against him before giving in to his embrace and simply remain to lie motionless on top of his chest.
“I—I’m sorry, I have no idea how—”
Namjoon’s chest rumbles as he chuckles softly. “Did I say I mind it?” he asks you, keeping his eyes closed while he is moving his fingers absentmindedly up and down your upper arm, while the palm that is pressing on your waist is still ever-present, holding you against him while he is caressing you gently. You look up just as he slowly opens his eyes, looking down on your face with something intense in his gaze, making you want to melt against him instead of pushing yourself off of him.
“This shouldn’t have happened,” you whisper softly, only realising now just how close your face is to his.
Namjoon’s lips twitch, forming a small grin. “I’m not the one who went over the fort that you built,” he says to you teasingly. You should be angry at his words, at whatever it is he seems to be accusing you of, but it is hard to think clearly when you have his lips brushing against your temple and when your heartbeat begins to race with the rising heat burning inside your belly.
“It’s still wrong,” you whisper with a sigh, closing your eyes when Namjoon tugs you up against his chest and continues to run his gentle kisses on your face.
“I’m not the one making the rules.”
You slowly push yourself up and he plants a kiss right at the tip of your nose, drawing a gasp out of you. “I should get up and—”
“And?” he asks, though he doesn’t make any move to let you go. He simply lies there beneath you, keeping his eyes on your face to gauge at your reaction, waiting, with his lips hovering so close that all you have to do is push yourself upward so your lips can touch.
But you do nothing as such, letting him hold you to his chest, unable to look away. You feel like you are getting drawn further into him, the pull that has been present now making itself known. One moment, you are simply there, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat that nearly matches yours. You have no idea who makes the first move, but his lips are suddenly on yours, brushing gently just as you lightly press your lips against him in return. A soft sound slips out of you when he gently takes your bottom lip and gives a light suck, and that is when the remaining restraint you have between you simply snaps.
With a light pull, he tugs you until you are on top of him, your legs resting on either side of him while you straddle his hips, pressing your pulsing center right on top of his covered hard-on. Your hands are clutching tightly on his shirt while you mould your lips together. He slides his tongue right at the seam of your lips, making his way in to deepen the kiss. Everything becomes a blur of heated desire with your tongues clashing against one another, his hands running up and down your curves while you slip your fingers through the hem of his shirt, slipping beneath the fabric, desperate to feel his skin.
While your fingers begin tracing blindly on the hard ridges of his abs, your hips begin to move, swivelling and rolling against him to rub your pulsing core against his covered cock, feeling him hardening and growing stiff under the heat of your desire. A deep groan comes rumbling from his chest before he gives one tight grip on your waist, holding you right in place as he moves his hips, reciprocating every motion you make while his other hand slides under your nightshirt, finding it easy to slide right in when its hem has hiked up to your hips as you continue riding on his groin. It doesn’t take much for him to find your breasts, continuing where he left off last night without any bra present as a barrier this time as you had opted to sleep without it. His palm feels warm against your mound, and he waits no longer before he begins fondling on your soft flesh, kneading and tugging while his fingers find your hardened nipple and gives you a light pinch.
You release a cry into his mouth, letting his kiss drown your voice. Your body trembles at the way he is playing with your body, the way he seems to find the right rhythm to draw out the delightful sparks of pleasure rising from deep within your core. With your nails buried on his chest, you keep on grinding against his covered cock and pressing hard right where it makes you feel good. You continue to ride the waves, letting them build up and continue to rise until you can feel yourself reaching to the edge, getting closer and closer, already losing balance as your legs are trembling around him.
Feeling how close you are to climax, Namjoon slides his other hand down your shirt, cupping your other breast with his palm and begins to do the same as he did the other. As you press down harder against him, he sucks on your lips harder, giving your nipples a rough pinch to draw your cries, and you can start feeling yourself plunging, flowing over the edge and—
The sound of someone banging on the door makes you both jump. For a moment, everything is spinning and you nearly come tumbling down from on top of him. But Namjoon is quick to catch you. His hands are still hidden beneath your shirt, but he is now holding you by the waist, keeping you still while you are both breathless. You are still feeling terribly flushed and your heartbeat seems to take forever to settle down, even if you can still clearly see the burning need in his eyes when you look at him. His own skin still looks flushed and his lips are swollen after all the biting and sucking you did while devouring them in the heated moment.
Neither of you says a thing to each other, or to even try and respond to whoever is on the other side of the door, until the banging sound returns.
“Joonie, you’re up?” Your father-in-law calls for him from outside, and Namjoon releases a groan. Closing his eyes, he lets his head fall back to the pillows.
“I’m up!”
“Good, I’m driving down to the nearest store to buy some supplies for the grill. You coming? Your dad-in-law is driving.”
Namjoon lets out another groan and pulls you down. He buries one hand in your hair as he holds you to him, pressing his lips on yours for a brief kiss before he whispers, “I have to go. He won’t shut up if I’m not up to help him.”
You open your mouth, but your head is still muddled and everything seems so fuzzy for you to even say much. “Okay,” you simply whisper, nodding your head before letting him help you lie back down on the bed.
“Get some more rest,” he says, brushing his lips against yours as he hovers on top of you. “We’ll continue this once I’m back.”
With those words, Namjoon presses a gentle kiss on your lips, before pushing himself up and leaves the bed. He quickly grabs his pants, getting ready to go just as his Dad comes banging on the door once more. “I’m coming,” he shouts back, though he makes another stop to kiss the top of your head before he makes his way out, keeping the door from opening too wide to hide your flustered state from his father when he slides out the door.
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The moment Namjoon is gone, the entire warmth that you have felt since the moment you woke up just seems to have been sucked dry along with his departure. The silence that falls after also feels too deafening and you find it hard to process everything and understand what had just happened. It feels like you have been dreaming, that nothing is real, and it gets even harder to think clearly and to snap right out of the remaining fog of your desire when you can still breathe in his scent which has been plastered all around you—the pillows, the sheets, even on your hair and skin.
Deciding that it would only get you nowhere if you simply remain there and wallow in your loneliness, you run to the bathroom, hoping that a long hot shower might help clear your head a little before going through with the day. You stay under the shower for a bit longer than you probably should, relishing the running water that does its best to wash away the grime, the remnants of his scent that you still carry with you, and the shadow of his touches on your skin. You feel it slowly washing away the fog that is still muddling your head and the rush of pleasure that seems to linger inside you. Only when your skin begins to wrinkle and the hot water slowly turns cold when you finally step out of the shower, wrapping the fuzzy towel that you find on the sink counter before walking out of the bathroom just in time for your phone to start blaring loudly.
You reach for it and pull it out of your purse, and your heart instantly falls.
Your hand is shaking as you bring the phone up to your ear, knowing that you cannot possibly ignore his calls. Not if you want to have a whole day safe from any interruption. Because you know that he would only continue calling again, and again, until he can get through you. That is just how relentless you know Matthew is as a man and a lover.
You take a deep breath and slowly lowers yourself to sit on the edge of the bed, afraid that you might fall if you don’t. “Hello—?” you can barely get your voice out as you answer the call, but you manage to anyway. A shuffling sound is heard from the other end before you hear him speak.
“Good morning, babe. How was your sleep?”
Matthew’s voice rumbles deep from the phone and your chest twists with guilt. “Morning. It was okay. Really good, actually,” you answer him, before a rush of heat flows to your face at the memory of your sleep—or, better yet, the memory of how you had woken up this morning. The surge of pleasure that you had just washed off suddenly runs through you when you remember how you were riding your husband’s lap, the heat in your body returning full force with need, and you try to shake it off as you focus on your fiancé’s voice.
“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing. “You know I’m glad to see you taking a long break after the past busy month. You’ve worked so hard lately so you needed this break. It must be the fresh air, isn’t it? You’ve always had trouble sleeping for as long as I can remember.”
Letting out a bitter chuckle, your voice grows small when you answer him, “Yes, the fresh air, that could be it.”
Matthew hums into the phone for a moment before he speaks again. “Look, baby. I’m just calling to say I’m sorry. Again. You, uh—you never called me back, so I was wondering if everything is okay.”
No, everything is not okay, the voice in your head sneers at you, making you grimace to think that he had been waiting for you to call him back when he barely crossed your mind. “Right, I’m sorry. I’ve been around my family—” and in-laws, you add inwardly before you continue, “—so things have been overwhelming. I just couldn’t find the right time to call you and talk.”
Once again, your tongue feels bitter with all the lies. Though a part of your excuse isn’t a complete lie this time, when you have been surrounded by your family since you arrived yesterday and Namjoon had almost never left your side. And you obviously could never slip away from Winny to make any phone call in the middle of the family reunion without raising questions. Not even if you would try to make a silly excuse to say that you were to make a call about work.
But there is also a part of you that had been intentionally avoiding him, for reasons that you could barely understand.
Looking back to it now, and then recalling everything that has happened since last night, you wonder if this whole ruse has had something to do with it. Perhaps you had gotten too deep in playing the role as the dotted wife who is returning for the holiday week to be with her husband. Perhaps a part of you enjoyed reliving this part of your life without any disturbance from the real world and from any part of your present life, and you just weren’t ready to wake up from that illusion too soon.
You close your eyes and sigh, barely catching on to what he is saying on the phone with your mind drifting away while he keeps on talking. “—I didn’t want to interrupt your time with your family, but I just need to know if you’re still mad at me. I don’t want us to fight while we’re apart, especially when it’s Christmas.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I was just a bit—busy. But I’m not mad at you, I promise.”
A deep sigh is heard from his side, and he mutters softly, “Good, that’s good,” while you grow tense as you anticipate what he is about to say next. “So—have you had the talk with your parents yet?”
You begin pulling on your towel as you try to think of an excuse. “No, baby. We just got here, remember? Everyone was busy preparing for this trip and then we got caught up in catching up, I could barely share anything and update them about what’s going on with my life aside from stories coming from work. And I told you, my grandmother has been sick, so I didn’t want to steal the stoplight too much from everyone.”
He remains silent as you ramble on, until he finally says, “Maybe I can help.”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I fly there so I can join you? Meet your family while everyone is there? All the preparation for my parents’ Christmas gala is done already and I won’t even have too much to do before the New Year’s Eve party. I think I can slip away a day or two and join you there. That way we can share the news together, what do you say?” He speaks so fast that you can barely catch up to what he is saying, and the moment you do, you can feel your heart pushing its way up to your throat.
“You want to come here?” you ask him, almost stuttering.
“Yes, why not? My family’s jet is available since everyone will be staying here for the event and we can fly back together right after seeing your family. We’ll save up on plane tickets that way, won’t we?”
The more excited he sounds, the more anxious you feel about it. To imagine him coming here, to not only expose your secret past with Namjoon but to also ruin the ruse—you can feel your blood draining while you can barely breathe. You can’t even stay seated with your anxiety rising up. Your head begins to pound as you stand up and begin pacing back and forth in the bedroom.
“Fly—here?” you ask again, wishing that he would start laughing and tell you that he is simply joking. But the only answer you get to hear is, “Yes! I can have it arranged soon. I can fly out there on Christmas morning, and—”
“No, Matthew don’t. You can’t do that.” In your panic, the words simply slip right out of you before you can do anything to stop it, surprising yourself and—judging from the silence that falls from his side—him as well.
“Why can’t I?” he asks you after a beat of silence, the tone of his voice filled with suspicions and you feel the urge to pull your hair out.
Still pacing on the floor, you try to find the best excuse that you can think of to erase every thought he could have about flying here to see you. “Just—this is a private event and my family isn’t as big or as open as yours.”
Lies, lies, all nothing but lies, when you know for sure how welcoming your parents have been to your friends in the past. But how are you supposed to explain to him that he barely exists to your parents? And how the hell would you explain to your family if Matthew just randomly shows up, introducing himself as your fiancé, when they are probably thinking that you are trying to reconcile with Namjoon through this trip? And what about Winny?
All these thoughts keep running in your head while Matthew simply grows silent. You don’t have to see him to know the gears in his head are turning at the same time, and you suddenly despise the fact that you are somehow engaged to a lawyer. And a damn talented one at that, you have to admit, when you have witnessed him time and time again exposing frauds and terrible liars in courts.
“Is there something wrong about me seeing your parents?” he questions you, sending chills down your spine with the accusing tone latching onto his voice. “We’re getting married anyway, aren’t we? I’d eventually have to meet them and introduce myself.”
“Yes, I know, but—” You close your eyes and try your best to control your breath. Remember, he can expose your lies and pick up on an uneven tone so easily, you remind yourself as you try to calm your nerves and make sure to stay collected as you speak to him. “Can’t we do it next time? Maybe when it’s not the holidays or on any other private occasion. I just don’t want to overwhelm my parents or my grandmother with so much going on already.”
A faint sound of someone talking is heard passing right in front of your door and you briefly stop, moving further from the door before you can continue.
“It’s not that I don’t want to introduce you to everyone, it’s just—The timing wouldn’t be right. I just—I need to ease this thing to my parents.”
“Is that so?” he asks you, and it is obvious that he isn’t buying it. “There’s always something, isn’t it?” His voice sounds harsh as he says this, making you flinch at his tone, knowing that you have made him grow angry at you again. “Seriously, what is the matter with you? Is there something going on that I need to know about? Did you meet someone and suddenly have a change of heart? Because you’ve been acting strange and distant since you went back home and it’s like I can’t talk with you so I don’t know what to think!”
Shaking under his wrath, and to how close he had come to the truth, you reach out to grab the backrest of the nearest chair and hold on tight. “I’m sorry. Things are just too complicated right now, and I can’t really tell you anything.”
“Right, of course,” he says with a sneer. “Well, you know how to contact me when you’re done being so—so aloof and when you’re ready to tell me what the fuck is going on with you.”
With those last words, Matthew ends the phone call. The sound of the final click makes you flinch and it makes your breath hitch at the finality of his words and the way he ended the call. You have grown used to seeing him getting emotional, letting his anger and frustration show, but it feels different when you are on the other end of it.
And it makes it even harder for you not to crumble because you are the guilty party.
Dropping down on the chair, you place the phone away with shaking hands. All so suddenly, you feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath you and there is nothing stopping you from falling. There is nothing stopping you from being pulled and awakened from the illusions that you had let yourself drown in.
Dropping your head into your hands, you chastise yourself and let all the dread of guilt wash over you.
You shouldn’t have agreed to be a part of this ruse. Or, at least, you should have kept your head firmly on your shoulder instead of getting drawn into the moment. You should have said the hell with it and insisted harder on Namjoon to sign the divorce papers so you wouldn’t have to worry about getting your secrets exposed if—and when—Matthew decides to register your marriage legally.
Your mind flies back to what had happened between you and Namjoon last night, and what had occurred this morning, only less than an hour ago, and you feel like you need to smack your own head so you could get your act together.
What were you thinking, making out with Namjoon like that after all the talk about letting go and moving on? How can you let yourself lost in his touch when you had sworn to yourself that you would never fall for his charms and that you would never forget what you had come all the way back here for?
Taking a deep breath, you muster every will to snap your head back into place and out of the illusion of the life that you had let go of a long time ago. This part of your life had been lost, and whatever you had thought you felt with Namjoon since you had gotten back had been nothing but a broken piece of your memory forcing itself back into your mind, nothing but an illusion.
Perhaps you have grown too comfortable in this situation, letting yourself get tempted to the alluring part of your past that you had wished you still have, but now it is time to face reality and to get your focus back on track, to remember your purpose.
Finish the whole charade, keep Winny happy for a little while longer, and then have Namjoon sign the papers so you can be free, you remind yourself, repeating those words in your head until they sink in. Because there is nothing left for you here but a fleeting dream, while you have your entire life waiting for you, away from this place, and—most certainly—far away from him.
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For the rest of the day, you try your best to avoid being alone with Namjoon.
You still play your part for as much as you need to whenever you are among the others, though you let Namjoon run the show as he openly shows his affection, giving you light touches and kisses while mingling with the rest of the family. But the moment the act is done, you will try to put a distance between you, always evading him whenever he tries to come close without anyone watching and finding excuses to slip away whenever he is trying to pull you aside.
It had taken you nearly all morning to get your act together, and it helped that he was gone for a long time as he went to join the rest of the men on their shopping trip to the nearest store. Then everyone’s excitement during the outdoor barbecue feast had managed to give you the escape you needed, when Namjoon kept being pulled away to help tend the grill while Winny kept insisting that you would stay with her the entire time.
It isn’t until after dinner when he finally manages to catch up with you just when you are about to slip away to find shelter out on the porch, thinking that perhaps you can wait out there until Namjoon would fall asleep before you can return to your bedroom to avoid anything untoward to ever happen between you. But you should have known that it hadn’t slipped his attention that you have been steering clear of him the whole day and is just about to try to escape him yet again.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” is the first thing he says when he catches you moments after you slip out of the door. “Is there something wrong? What happened?”
Nothing.
Everything.
Not expecting to have him ruining your escape plan and finding yourself somehow out here all alone with him, the words simply die down on your tongue. You open your mouth, ready to launch some random excuses to slip away from him when Namjoon comes approaching you with a determined look in his eyes. There is also something else in his eyes that makes you stop before you even try to evade him—a mix of wariness, curiosity, and a hint of despair—as if having you slipping away all day and giving him cold shoulders have been affecting him more than you had thought it would.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” is the only thing you can say to him, though it is clear that there is no use of you to act so aloof about it when he simply responds with a scoff.
“Right,” he says with a bitter chuckle. “Don’t play dumb with me. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”
Namjoon has come so close that he is looming over you, keeping his voice low enough only for you to hear. His looming presence and his deep rumbling voice make you feel so little, cornered, and you lean back to the railing on the edge of the porch to hold on, trying to make yourself tall as you return his intense gaze with your own. “What is going on inside that brilliant head of yours, Baby Doll? What game are you playing with me?” he slowly questions you, and his words snap something inside you.
“There is no game,” you hiss at him just as you hear the sound of laughter ringing from inside the lodge. Looking over his shoulders, you make sure that there is nobody passing by this area to find the two of you having this face off. God knows what would cross their minds if they should ever find you out here together like this.
“You must have thought you have been so slick to avoid me and that nobody would notice. But even Winny caught on to your act and she’s been asking me if you’re feeling okay,” Namjoon says with a sneer, while you grimace, realising just how terrible you have been at pretending after all.
With a frown on your face, you look up, finding Namjoon looking at you, no longer with the sneer or annoyance on his face, but more of a concern. “Something happened while I was gone, hasn’t it?”
“Nothing happened. It’s just—” Your mind flies back to the phone call that you had with Matthew, to being the receiving end of his anger, and you pull back just when Namjoon lifts his hand to touch you. “Maybe I just realised that this—whatever it is that’s been going on between us—is wrong.” Shaking your head, you look up into his eyes and plead, “We just can’t—I just can’t have it happening again. I can’t allow it.”
Namjoon scoffs. “You won’t allow it? Always have to be the one to make the rules, don’t you?”
The condescending tone in his voice feels like a knife piercing through your chest. You can barely hold back from pushing him off when you lift your chin up to respond to him. “I thought all we had to do was play a role? To act only when we have audiences watching us? Not to do something like—” You stop just as the image of you kissing him, touching him, letting him bring pleasure through your body comes flashing through your head and your whole skin flushes, and it is somehow making you feel even angrier that you had even let yourself lost in that moment in time that your voice comes out as a hiss when you continue, “Not to act on it while we’re alone. Not to lose control when we’re—”
When we’re not supposed to. When we have a time limit.
The words simply remain inside your head when it suddenly feels too painful for you to say them out loud.
“Lose control? Is that all it ever was?” he questions you, though it sounds more like he is wondering these words out loud. Placing his hands on either side of you, he leans closer, caging you against the wooden railing behind you as he lowers himself, getting close to your face.
“I’m going to ask you again, what the hell happened with you? Why all the sudden change? One minute you were okay with everything and it was obvious that you wanted it to happen, and then you suddenly act like you just can’t get away from me fast enough and now you’re off rambling on as if you didn’t want me too.” Namjoon asks you, before he lifts one hand, reaching up to brush away the hair that has fallen on your face when you were getting too emotional. He moves his fingers ever so gently, and yet you can still feel his knuckles brushing gently across your skin. The featherlight touch brings a shudder through your body, and it doesn’t slip Namjoon’s attention when he could feel it, even if it only happens for such a brief moment.
“Tell me you feel nothing when I touch you like this,” he whispers to you as he brings the tip of his fingers down, tracing an invisible path down the nape of your neck.
Almost instantly, your body comes to life. The light touch he is giving you simply lights up your senses, the shudders feel so delightful, and the pull between you simply strengthen itself that it would be so easy for you to simply give in to it and let go.
But this is wrong, your conscience speaks, snapping you out of it that it helps you muster enough strength to grab him by the wrist and stop him before he can go on.
“No, we can’t do this. You need to remember why I came here in the first place and why we’re doing this,” you whisper as you push him away while shaking your head. While your reaction and your words seem to light something else inside him that his eyes only grow hard, and his words—that had been enough to draw you to him and had managed to break the walls that you had built between you—now suddenly sounds vindictive, taunting, coming at you like a jab to your gut when he says,
“You can’t or you won’t? Tell me what you feel when you’re with me. Tell me you feel nothing.”
In an instant, everything that you feel for him changes. It feels as if he had just ripped the band-aid that has been present to hide your wounds and what comes out of it is vicious, filled with all the pain that you had buried, laid almost forgotten, and now coming awake just as strongly as the desire that you have felt for him ever since he had first brought it back up from your cold heart, and it gives you enough strength to push him away, severing the pull that has kept you blinded from all the painful memories that were left from the moment he had stomped all your dreams and your heart into nothing.
“Fuck you, Namjoon. You don’t get to say these things to me or even had the audacity of asking me about my feelings when you were the one who pushed me away and broke us apart,” you cry out as you keep pushing against his chest in your anger. The sudden burst of your rage renders him speechless at first, before he snaps,
“Are we going to talk about that now? About what happened years ago? Is that it?” He begins seething with anger, though you can see the hurt in his eyes. “Well, let me remind you that I wasn’t the one who left and gave up on us,” he says, pointing at you. “You were the one who walked away.”
His words feel like a slap right on your face and you can no longer hold everything back. “You broke up with me,” you nearly scream to his face, not even caring if there is anyone inside the lodge that can hear you as you continue to face him, letting the hurt inside you reveal itself for him to see. “You were the one who said that there was no point for us to even try to go on, that it would be better for me to just go and leave you behind. That was what you said to me!”
“I thought that was what you wanted…!”
“What I wanted was for the man that I loved with every-fucking-thing that I had to fucking fight for me!”
This time, Namjoon is the one who looks as if your words had slapped him right on his face. The moment he speaks again, his voice sounds small, and broken, as he can only whisper, “I never gave up on you.”
The fight simply leaves you after hearing his words and once you are done pouring out everything that you have kept to yourself for a long time. Except that it only leaves you with one simple question that you have yet to find the answers to.
“Why did you keep sending me back the divorce papers?”
Say it. Please, say it. Tell me that you have been waiting for me. You silently beg, and beg, only realising now that these are the exact words that you have been waiting for him to say to you.
But Namjoon remains silent, keeping his eyes away from you still. Instead, all he does is clench his jaw and he begins shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter,” is the only thing that Namjoon says to you. His eyes no longer hold the same warmth and longing that you had seen in them merely moments before when he looks at you, as if he is withdrawing from you again. You can feel him putting up a barrier as he protects himself from the tremors coming from the pull that is still tethering you together.
“I’ll sign the papers. You’ll be leaving this weekend, right? I’ll give them back to you in the morning.”
With that, Namjoon turns away and goes back inside, leaving you standing there all alone on the porch, with your heart still bleeding out from the pain that he had ripped open and your tears still running down your face. He never returns for the night to sleep in your shared bedroom, while having your heart torn out has left you exhausted, completely drained that you easily fall asleep the moment you find solace in your bedroom.
Completely on your own.
Only to wake up the next morning to find the divorce papers resting on his cold pillows, marked with his signature right at the bottom of the page.
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The rest of the day simply floats by. Though you cannot really say that things are going smoothly as they had been for the past two days. It feels more as if you are walking through a thick pool of gelatine, wading heavily through the surface as much as you can without being swallowed down to the bottom.
At the same time, your body seems to be moving on autopilot, and it helps you to play your role well despite the numbness you are feeling within. You can still find a way to smile, to laugh at any random jokes, to nod whenever you need to, though you can barely listen to what people have to say.
When you finally saw Namjoon again during breakfast, he had managed to act out as if nothing has changed, so you were determined to play your part the way he could. Even if it takes a lot for you not to grimace at his touch or to flinch whenever he kisses you or when he presses his lips on your temple the way he always would in the middle of a conversation with Winny.
You are having so much trouble keeping it up together that it barely registers to you that tonight would be the highly eventful Christmas dinner. The night where you are supposed to be filled with joy. Where you are supposed to embrace the moment while being surrounded by the people that mean to you the most—and yes, that obviously includes Namjoon—and yet, you can barely feel a thing when it feels like every part of you is slowly crumbling. That for some reason, you are left as nothing but a shell, present but completely meaningless, as if it wouldn’t matter if you are no longer a part of this picture-perfect moment.
You do, however, take as much time as you can get to record all of this into your memory. Taking in everyone’s presence, their expressions, their stories, keeping this night as something that you will cherish for the rest of your life. Watching everyone sharing all the love and the bond that has been there for years, you realise what you have missed out on for a long time. You know that there is no use to dwell on the past, but you try your best to picture this as something that you can possibly reach again in the future.
One day, perhaps, after all of this ends.
And only if everyone would forgive you for what you are about to do.
It isn’t until in the middle of the dessert, when your uncle suddenly stands at the end of the table with his best friend, Bernie, and they both start belting out the Christmas Carol when you reach out to grab Namjoon’s hand, surprising him for a moment when you give him a squeeze until you turn to smile at him. His eyes are wide when he sees how relaxed you are, not seeing the way your mind is working hard to plan out just how you are going to give this story an end. And then you start to join the duo, keeping the smile on your face as you look at him, encouraging him to join in as everyone else are singing along.
You can feel Winny’s eyes on you as she sits right on your other side, and you find her watching you with glossy eyes. So you reach out, grabbing her hand with your free one, creating a bond between the three of you to share this moment. Even if it is only for one last time.
You return to an empty bedroom once dinner is long over, everyone has retreated to their rooms earlier after their bellies are full with the sweet desserts that Winny and your mother had made and all the alcohol that was present on the table.
Once again, Namjoon has chosen not to join you in your room, disappearing somewhere in another part of the lodge as he tries to avoid you.
This time, you find it hard to go to sleep. Not that you ever plan to do so anyway. And not when you can still feel his presence on the empty side of the bed, as his scent still lingers even when the sheets have grown cold.
Each time you close your eyes, you can still see those moments inside your head. You have tried so hard to deny it before, but being with him did make you feel everything. The comfort, the desire, the raw carnal need that you had never felt with anyone else the way you did with him. And now that your mind and body remember perfectly well what it is like to be with him, to be in his arms and to feel his love, you know that there is no turning back.
Being with Namjoon after going through all the pain many years ago now feels dangerous. Disastrous—that would be the only way to describe it, because why else would you end up losing control like that when you are together, or to be acting like teenagers who are completely helpless against the desire coursing through your body. It makes you completely reckless—just like how he managed to pull you onto his lap after dinner at the back porch, going completely out of bounds as you kept going at each other, practically clawing each other skin in the process of tearing out your clothes without any care of your surroundings. Or just like the other morning, when you were riding him without a care as if it had been something that you had always done.
The tension coming from those short, heated moments still lingers in your body, making your skin feel hot and tight even when you are far away from him and when he is no longer in sight. Rubbing your hands up and down your bare arms, you take a seat right on the edge of the bed, trying to find solace until the tremors in your body would start to subside.
Except that you quickly realise that it would be impossible for it to happen when you realise that the tremors are coming from deep within your chest.
“I’ll sign the papers.”
If it had been years ago, if it had happened before you joined him on this trip, perhaps you would have felt relieved, pleased to finally have what you have been waiting for. To have your freedom. To finally have your life back. To gain a chance to decide on your future without constantly being haunted by him and the memory of your history together.
But as you wrap your arms around yourself, the only feeling that you have now is nothing but agony, despair, sadness, and it takes you a while before you realise that what you are feeling is your heart breaking into pieces, realising only now that the shackles that you had thought to be the one holding you back from your happiness had in fact been the only thing that has been holding you up and keeping you together from falling apart. Now that you are about to become free from it, there is nothing stopping it from having your entire world and the life that you had created for yourself from falling apart.
Realising all of this, you find yourself determined to start working on your plan. Rising from the bed, you walk around the bag that you have packed earlier this afternoon and reach out to find your phone, setting it up on the table near the windows so you can have better reception.
It takes a while for the call to come through, and then suddenly his face comes to the screen.
“Hey there, stranger,” Matthew’s smile comes beaming from the other end, and it brings a similar smile to your face.
“Hey, just calling to say Merry Christmas before you get too tired.”
He chuckles softly when he hears this, before answering you softly, “Merry Christmas, babe. How was the family dinner?”
“It was great,” you answer him. “It was amazing, but it probably wasn’t any close to yours. Did the Christmas Gala go on well?”
Matthew nods, and pride comes to his face when he begins sharing with you about his wonderful night with his family and the important people that had been invited to the event. It appears that a lot of people had come from every part of the city just to attend the night. Something that isn’t too surprising knowing how important his family is to the city. With his parents being high ranked politicians while he and his siblings have slowly become successful lawyers following on their tracks. Had that been the reason why you were so drawn to him? The alluring world and the glamorous life that he could offer you that had somehow seemed to be the answers to your dreams?
You can see him still wearing his tuxedo for the night, and you admire his handsome look, even if you had seen it when he sent a photo of him wearing the tux before the gala had started. Seeing that he has yet to change, it shows that the event had only ended not too long ago and he had just returned to his penthouse.
“That sounds marvellous. Are you exhausted? You seem like you’re still glowing for some reason.”
Matthew laughs. “Just the Christmas spirit, babe. I just feel sorry that you weren’t here with me. You would’ve looked amazing if you had come with me in your pretty dress.”
His words make you smile, before you feel your guilt rising slowly, reminding you of what you need to do to make things right. “Seeing that you’re now home, I was wondering if we can talk?” Your heart starts to pound even before you can say anything, but you know that you need to get through this. That you need to do this now before it would be too late. “There’s something that I need to—say. A lot of them, actually.”
“Right, right,” Matthew says, nodding his head with a knowing look on his face, just as his beaming smile slowly fades. You can see him taking a seat, resting back on the sofa that you have grown familiar with after spending many nights there with him. He rubs his palm down his face with a sigh, before looking back at you through the screen again with an intense look in his eyes and says,
“Perhaps you can start by explaining to me about the request you made through our affiliates, Jeon and Partners, before you had to leave, when you had them draft a divorce statement for you, listed under your name.”
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It feels like forever before midnight comes to pass.
Throughout the night as everyone in the lodge descends into their slumber, retreating to their rooms one person at a time with the anticipation of waking up to the bright Christmas morning, you remain in your room, waiting, until the only thing you can sense beyond that door is silence. It doesn’t take much for you to sneak into your uncle’s room and use the drunken state that he is in to coax him into lending his truck. With the keys clutched in one hand and your packed overnight bag on the other, you move carefully through the night, making your way downstairs without making so much of a noise that could possibly wake everyone up and ruin your plans.
As you continue to make your escape and slip out through the side door heading to the parked vehicles, the conversation you had with Matthew earlier continues to replay itself in your head. After the last fight you had with him, he had grown so curious to figure out why you have been acting so strange that he had gone digging around to find what you had been secretly hiding from him.
The moment he revealed to you that he had found out that you had filed for divorce to someone else through an affiliate law firm, your heart had instantly plummeted. But then as you finally told him everything, making him understand your situation and why you had to do what you are about to do, the only thing you feel after was—relief. It had been the first sign that showed you that you were on the right track. That you are doing the right thing.
The only thing for you to do left is to walk away from this. Because you can no longer lie to everyone and there is absolutely no place for you here. Not anymore. At least, not until you can—
“So that’s it? You’re going to leave again?”
You are only a few steps away to reach your uncle’s truck when you hear his voice. For a moment, the thought that perhaps you are imagining it comes across your head. But then you turn around, finding him standing there on the side porch while keeping its lights turned off.
As if he had been waiting, lurking in the dark.
As if he had predicted this.
“Namjoon—”
He remains silent as he makes his way to you, walking in slow, long strides with his head held high and his eyes locked on you. Stopping only two steps away from you, his eyes fall on the overnight bag you are carrying in your hand and his jaw clenches tight.
“You’re really leaving,” he says, before his eyes find yours.
“I—I have to,” you can barely choke out the words, suddenly feeling so small under the scrutiny of his gaze. Shaking your head, you dare yourself to look at him in the eyes to plead to him. “I’ve made a mess of things and I’ve only made it worse by coming here. You know I can’t stay. I’m so sorry.”
You turn away just then, only to have him stopping you. Catching you by the wrist, Namjoon pulls you back so that you are facing him. The hardness in his eyes is no longer present when you look up at him, though you still have no idea how to read the expression he is wearing.
He says nothing for a moment, just taking you in, then he pulls you closer to him ever so gently while murmuring, “Don’t go.” His request catches you by surprise, but it is nothing compared to what he says next. “You asked me to fight for you?” he asks, taking your other wrist into his hand as he gently peels the car keys out of your clutch. “Here I am. Don’t go. Don’t leave.”
Startled, your head falls back as you release a bitter laugh. “Oh, God. Namjoon—” You blink away the tears that are threatening to fall. You have been hoping that you could have a chance to keep it together until you can reach the town, or perhaps once you are back home, before you can have your breakdown. So much for your plans, you wonder while shaking your head.
“I can’t stay. You know I can’t,” you finally tell him. “I can no longer look into Winny’s eyes and not feel guilty for pretending to be someone I’m not, to play a role of the person who has no place here.”
Namjoon lifts your chin up with his gentle fingers, and he makes you look up to meet his gaze before he speaks. “That’s not what I saw when you were sitting there at the dinner table with us, singing along with Bernie and your uncle no matter how out of tune they were and laughing at my Dad’s corny jokes,” he says with his lips curling to a small smile. You are lost in the depth of his gaze to realise that he has not only stolen the keys away from you but he has also pulled your bag away, throwing it to the ground before he takes your hand in his.
“That’s not what I saw when you were holding my hand or when you are with Winny, tending to her needs and listening to her stories,” he says, bringing your hand to his lips. “This is where you belong, _______. You are home. You belong here with us. With me.”
He lowers his head as he says this, but instead of brushing his lips on your face or lips, he presses a kiss on the top of your head. At this point, you are slowly losing every bit of resolve that you still have, already forgetting everything that you had been planning to do.
His words serve like an enchantment, filling your head so easily to replace every thought, every doubt, and it becomes so easy for you to simply lean into it and embrace the way his request is making you feel when you have been waiting to hear those exact words to come from him for years. It had taken you so long to admit this, but you had never truly stopped waiting. You had done all you could to relinquish the hope you ever had for finding your way back to him again, only to have the memory of your broken heart stopping you from ever trying to reach out to him again.
“Stay,” he whispers softly as he buries his nose between the strands of your hair. “Don’t go.”
As you lean into him, he flattens one hand on your back, letting it drift slowly upward until his palm comes to the base of your neck. He continues to brush his nose gently across your hair, breathing through the strands while pressing his mouth to kiss your hair, with each kiss drawing a shiver through your body.
Your hand grips onto his shirt then, though you are not quite sure whether you want to stop him or to urge him to carry on. “Namjoon—”
“Sshh—” he murmurs against your hair, then his fingers find your chin, lifting your head gently to look at him again just when you try to avoid his gaze and pull away. He pulls your face towards him, letting his lips dance over yours ever so gently with a hesitant kiss.
For a brief moment, you make no move to return the kiss, still too stunned and still feeling too vulnerable against the turmoil happening inside you. As always, Namjoon manages to bring back all the emotions within you, and it takes you a moment to be able to process them all together, to let the last bit of your restraint crumble, and you begin to press against him, kissing him back gently until you both begin to let go.
He hums his approval as he kisses your lips before he pulls back. With his hooded eyes on you, he grips the back of your neck and tilts your head back. The hold he has on you feels firm, and yet he remains gentle as he is pressing his mouth on your furrowed brows, your temple, and then on your eyelids as your eyes are beginning to flutter close to his gentle kisses, before finally dipping down to find your lips.
Your fingers tighten on his shirt, and your mouth falls open against his to welcome him. And almost instantly, the kiss goes from a soft and gentle caress to a dominating one, growing hot and needy in less than a second, and you can feel his hunger taking over him as he slides his tongue into your mouth. As you are submitting to him, opening yourself up to the searing kiss and the touches of his fingers on your body, your own hands come reaching up to start clawing on his shirt, wishing it gone so you can feel the connection that you have with him through every delicate touch of your skin against his.
You have no idea what is happening to you. It is hard to explain why you cannot seem to keep your head on straight when you are in his arms. It feels like your body simply comes alive while also losing its will to run when he is holding you like this. It should be wrong to relish on this delightful feeling, when you had only come here in the first place in order to end this instead of coming back to it. But there is also something so right to be with him again. All the things that he makes you feel and everything that you share with him feel completely different from anything else that you had ever experienced. Though it is not as if you have truly experienced a lot when it comes to relationships and men.
Namjoon had always been the only one. From the only boy that you had ever loved to the only man that you have ever been with. Even if you have made up your mind to move on, to be with someone else, you have slowly realised that whatever you had with Matthew could never compare to what you and Namjoon have shared for years. And every memory of what you felt when you were with him is definitely worlds apart from the kind of feelings that Namjoon is able to ignite in you so easily with his touches.
Namjoon bites your bottom lip in the middle of the kiss, snapping you right out of it and makes you both pull back from the heated kiss. Both of you are breathless, the air between you curling with a thin veil of white fog, and there is no doubt that both of your bodies are burning with need. But neither of you make a move to come apart any further, keeping your hands on each others’ bodies to hold on and your mouths are still hovering against one another.
“Tell me you’re staying,” he whispers against your lips. As if the way you are kissing him has yet to serve as the answer that he needs to hear. And he simply needs to hear it, to have you say the words out loud.
But you find it hard for you to speak. Both from being so breathless still and for feeling the fear that you might be giving the wrong answer. Suddenly, you are no longer sure just where you are leaning into. A part of you still wants to flee, to protect yourself from the past heartache and the possibility of having to go through all of it all over again. While another part of you finds home in his embrace, and there is nothing that your soul wants more than to return to a place where you truly belong.
“I can’t—” you begin to answer, only to stop when you have no idea what to say. You simply cannot decide which path to take as of this moment, when everything seems to be crumbling just the way it did the day you left this town 3 years ago. But then you reach up, resting your palm on his face as you look straight into his eyes, finding the love that had been the reason for you to live, coming from the man who had once been your strength and your weakness, and everything inside you breaks apart. “Namjoon—”
You know that he can see it in your eyes as it happens, when he can see the pain in your eyes that is too stubborn to leave. Then he is suddenly looming over you, pushing you back towards your uncle’s truck until you can feel the hard ridges from the vehicle pressing against your back. You cannot really tell whether it is coming from his rage for seeing your inability to let go of the past or simply a part of his presence, but he sets your body on fire without even laying a single touch of his hand.
“You don’t have to leave,” he whispers, suddenly pressing so close to you as he pins you back against the truck that you can feel his chest vibrating with his deep voice.
“I have to,” you choke out, though you are starting to feel yourself giving in.
“No one said that you should.”
You continue to shake your head. “It won’t be right if I stay any longer,” you mutter softly, more to yourself than to him, but Namjoon takes it as something that you are throwing at him just to have a reason to walk away.
“Says who?”
“Namjoon, I—” You stop and look at him. Your eyes find his, finding the pain emitting from within their depths, and it is enough to make you question things. But you need to get things out of your chest and make him see it. “What we’ve done, what we’ve been doing—That kiss under the mistletoe, that was a part of an act, a show, but everything else that came after—” you shake your head at him. “It was wrong. We were wrong. We shouldn’t have let things gone so far.”
“Why not?”
“Because—” Your breath hitches just as the twist in your chest returns. “Namjoon, I said yes. I was already engaged to someone else.” You bite your tongue to avoid telling him the truth, that even if you leave today, you may not have anything to come back to. Not after that last conversation that you had with Matthew and how he had reacted to the news.
But instead of yelling at you, Namjoon simply looks at you with a deep gaze that has yet to waver. “You’re still my wife,” he says, with a tone that you can barely decipher, though you can still feel him laying claim on you with those words.
“Do you love him?”
His question surprises you. You open your mouth, only to close it again when you cannot find the answer. Do you really love him? Have you ever truly felt anything for Matthew? Or do you simply love the idea of having someone admiring you, loving you, chasing you to the end of the earth with a promise of forever?
The promise that Namjoon had once given you, and apparently he had kept without you knowing any of it. All of a sudden this thought comes into your head, sneaking in when least expected. It may have gotten inside your head ever since you started seeing this new part of him, to know all the things that he had been working on and the reason behind all of it.
But you still have to return, you remind yourself that you would still need to resolve things with Matthew face to face, to be able to have an actual conversation that a simple video call couldn’t provide so you can explain yourself properly. And you also have your job. The career that you have built for many years, waiting for you to return. Even if you know that things would certainly change now, because there is no way you could possibly return to work in the same place with Matthew. Not after what you did.
“One day,” he says, stopping you before you can say anything. “Just stay here with me one more day, and you can decide tomorrow if you still want to leave or if you want to stay for another.” He stops to take a deep breath, before adding with a small voice, “If not for me, then—”
You grimace when you suddenly remember.
Winny.
Your eyes flutter close when a pinch of guilt comes to your chest. Would you really have done it to Winny, to just walk away and leave without saying goodbye? After everything that she had done for you?
You open your eyes again. And the first thing that you see when you look at him nearly knocks the air out of your chest. In his eyes, you see something that he had never truly shown you before. Something that you cannot remember ever seeing before.
You see his vulnerability. You see his pain. And suddenly, you question yourself if there is really something true in the words that he had given you before.
“Did you mean it? What you said before—?”
He frowns. “About what?”
“That you—” You stop, not sure how to approach this without having him pulling away from you again. Not sure how much it will break you if he isn’t giving you the answer that you want to hear. “That you never—”
“I never gave up,” he immediately answers before you can question him properly. “Never really did.” His deep gaze softens as he releases a deep sigh. Then you can see his guilt as he looks at you, before he covers it by resting his forehead on yours. “I wanted to race out there and fight for you the moment I realised that I was nothing without you and that I shouldn’t have pushed you away. But I knew that it wouldn’t be right for me if I had simply begged you to come back when you were finally getting everything you wanted.”
Once he stops talking, you find yourself exhaling a relieved sigh. Hearing his words doesn’t erase the pain that you had gotten from the past, but it does make your heart swell. And it changes the way you are seeing him even further. He is still silent as he gives you a chance to process this, making no move to touch you or to walk away, until you push yourself up on your tiptoes and press your lips on his.
“One day,” you whisper softly, finally agreeing. The logical part of your mind is telling you that you are simply agreeing to stay simply because it is late, and there is no way you could possibly drive all the way back to town in the darkness and through the route down the mountains that you can barely remember.
But the other part of your mind is telling you something else. Insisting that you would stay solely because of him. Because you want to see another glimpse of Namjoon that you haven’t seen and all that you have missed ever since you left. And you can tell that you are opening up to him, and opening up to chances, finally giving in to this moment, no matter how hard you have been trying to fight it. And you let him know this when you tilt your face up toward his once again, as if giving yourself to him, but also giving him a chance to take the olive branch that you are handing out to him.
Namjoon seems hesitant at first, not completely sure if you are truly giving things a chance or if you are seconds away from challenging him again. But as you remain defiant, keeping your chin up as he dips his head lower, and then lower, and you make no move to look away or to push him back, Namjoon no longer holds himself back.
You feel like you are in a daze when you feel his lips on yours, still barely recovering after all the revelation that he had just given you. He kisses you gently at first, brushing his lips lightly against yours once, twice, and then pressing slightly harder when he comes for the third. It sure feels like he is still holding himself back, as if he simply refuses to give in entirely. Not when you still refuse to let him see what his kisses and his touches do to you.
As you close your eyes, the pained look that you saw from him earlier comes back to you, reminding you of the pain that you had felt years ago when you walked away from this old town, and it brings back the pain that you felt from losing him then. Just as you lean further against him, you realise that you have yet to heal from that old wound, which explains the need that you keep feeling to protect yourself from having too much hope. You also realise that you have come so close to losing him again tonight, and you would have probably been nursing the opened wound if he hadn’t chased you out from running.
The moment these thoughts fill your head, your body simply reacts. Your chest arches against him while your hands move to reach out to him, fingers tightening on his shirt, pulling him closer and tethering him to you as you take his bottom lip between your mouth and give him a light bite. The pain that you ignite in him snaps him out of it. And all so suddenly, Namjoon loses all control, and he simply lets himself go.
The moment his mouth meets yours again, a growl slips out of him and he pushes you firmly against the side of the truck, pressing his hard body against yours to pin you harder in place so that there is no more chance for you to escape. As his kiss becomes deeper, with him spilling all his need into it, his hands move around you, with one of them resting at the back of your head to hold you still against him while the other comes wrapping around your waist to press you to his chest. You simply melt against him, feeling his heartbeat pacing against yours and your body heat searing hot between you that it could have melted the snow around you if you would let them.
“We need to get inside. Can’t have you out here, you’ll be freezing cold,” he murmurs against your lips, his breath already growing ragged with need, while his touches are growing hot on your skin that not even your sweater can keep you from feeling it.
“Okay,” you whisper against his lips, though there is something in his eyes that keeps telling you that it wouldn’t simply be an act of sheltering you from the cold if you ever let him take you back inside. That he has something else in mind and the moment he can get you someplace safe, to get you to a place that is warm and comfortable, letting you rest would be the last thing in his mind.
You can also feel it in the way he is grabbing your hand and pulling you with him back into the lodge. How he is walking with long, impatient strides, keeping his shoulders straight, it becomes more obvious that he is moving with a goal set in mind. And then he quickly proves to you that you are right when he makes a turn as soon as you are both inside the lodge, moving towards the other side of the ground floor and away from the stairs, before opening a door that he finds downstairs. The next thing you know, he is pulling you into a bedroom that seems to have been left vacant as everyone had chosen all the bedrooms available on the upper floors.
Once you are both inside, Namjoon wastes no time to turn you around and push you against the door right after he closes and locks it behind him. Then his mouth quickly returns to yours, pressing a searing kiss that no longer holds any apprehension, showing you nothing more but lust and temptation and the pure hunger that he has more than once shown you before. What happens next is a flurry of clashing tongues and teeth and lips moulding to one another. His fingers come up to the back of your head, clutching tightly on your hair to hold you in place as he continues to devour your mouth, drawing soft moans from your throat and light shudders all over your body.
With his other hand, he follows the surge of pleasure running down your body, tracing his fingers down your curves while pressing down on your sensitive spots as he makes his way down. Your chest arches as he brushes his thumb over your covered nipple, pressing down hard over the nub that the sweater you are wearing barely feels present. Then he grabs tightly on your waist, pulling you to him and pressing against the small of your back until your hips are connected to his, allowing him to rub the evidence of his desire right against your abdomen, showing you without so much of a word just what you have been doing to him while claiming you as his.
This.
This is everything that you remember of him. The way he takes without any shred of guilt when he presses his lips on yours and his hands are gripping you possessively without giving you any chance to slip away. How he devours your lips with pure hunger, swallowing your gasps, drowning the sound of your moans, and drinking the sounds of your breath until you are nothing but a bundle of flames, burning from deep within with your desire that continues to build up stronger as he lets you feel his own. The way he fists on your hair, entangling his long fingers through each curl and pulling your head back to make you submit to him, giving him access to trail his mouth down the column of your throat and giving him a full reign to control your body. The way he is rolling his hips, pressing the bulge of his arousal against the center of your pulsing need while his mouth continues to devour you.
Namjoon grunts against your skin as he nips at the sensitive spot under your ear, as he has recognised every part of your body that would be able to respond so easily to his touches. Then he slides one hand—the one that isn’t holding you up against him—to reach beneath your sweater, climbing back up the moment he meets your bare skin underneath, and then keeps moving up, until his fingers meet your bra and he swiftly grabs on to it, pulling it down, giving him full access to your breasts.
His hand comes back up, taking one mound into his palm, sending a wave of pleasure down your body as he begins to work on the soft flesh and the hardened nub with his palm and fingers. The wave continues to ripple inside you, rising steadily, moving from where he is touching you towards your pulsing core.
For every single time you are lost in bliss under his talented hands, you keep telling yourself how wrong it would be to give in. Even if he had been right when he reminded you that you are still legally his wedded wife, but years have passed and you still have something left unresolved waiting for you back in the city. But as he continues kissing you, his mouth pressing at the right places along the column of your throat then coming back up to find your lips, his hands touching everywhere while igniting the flame within you, you keep finding it hard to convince yourself to stop, to admit that this is something that you shouldn’t be doing.
How is this wrong, when it is your husband who is touching you? The man who you are still legally married to, both in the papers and under the legitimacy of your vows? And how can you possibly say that this is a mistake, when your heart still beats for him the way it did the day you said ’I do’, and when your whole body would only come awake under his touch?
When his hands are on your waist, pressing and kneading the way he would do it back then while rising you up against the wooden door behind you, you finally realise the reason why it had always felt as if your skin was crawling whenever Matthew touched you. The reason why your body seemed to scream ’this is wrong!’ whenever you tried to make love to another man.
Because both your heart and soul had only been searching for the one they have always meant to be with, and that person is the man who is now lifting you in his arms, carrying you to the bed that is placed right at the center of the room.
With his mouth no longer latching onto yours, you finally allow yourself to look around. The room is dark, with only the soft gleam from the moonlight illuminating the room, but you can still see Namjoon’s desire in his eyes as he gently sets you down on your back, right on top of the plushy bed that has grown cold for being neglected for days.
Under his gaze, your whole body thrums with a sort of carnal desperation. Something that you are beginning to see as a feeling that he might be experiencing as well, when you watch his eyes glinting with lust and pain when he rakes down your body with his gaze, when his chest heaves with all the pent up desire that he seems to have kept buried for a long time, and when his hands seem to unable to stay away, already reaching out to you and touching you with his gentle caress as if he wants to make sure that you are real.
When your hands reach for him, you realise that you share the same desperate need to feel him, to touch and connect to him. All the pain that you felt from the past is beginning to simmer, but it is still present, reminding you how painful it would be to lose him again and how close you had been to let it happen.
As his touches grow bolder, you feel that you are getting just as eager. Your hands begin to tug at his clothes while your mouth keeps meeting his with a passion that you haven’t felt for a long time and matches terribly to his own. Namjoon slips your sweater off of your shoulders, tossing it away to the nearest chair, before tossing his own jacket away to join it. He returns to you in a matter of seconds, then slides his fingers beneath your shirt with a sense of starvation and need to touch your bare skin. You can feel his hunger when his body vibrates right when you are shuddering under his touch, and you can hear it when he lets out a deep grunt while his breath grows ragged the moment your skin connected to each other.
The sound that he keeps making is causing you to grow more impatient, and you begin to tug and pull at his shirt, not even caring about it when you pop out the buttons in your desperate need to take his shirt right off of his body. Namjoon seems to share the same feeling, when it seems like the only concern that he has at the moment is to get you out of your clothes. He keeps tugging impatiently at your shirt while giving you his kisses so recklessly that you can feel your lips bruising with each pressure of his lips on yours. But you care nothing of it, only returning the kiss with your own need, while you do the same as you continue to tug at his clothes until his chest is left bare right at the same time he manages to toss your shirt away.
His eyes instantly fall onto your chest when you come apart, eyes dilating at the sight of your breasts spilling out of your bra after the mess that he had created in the heat of the moment, and the sight carries on to entice him further as your chest keeps rising and falling with your ragged breath. It sends him into some kind of a hungry daze, as his hands absentmindedly reach out for you, all while muttering under his breath, “Beautiful,” before he dips his head, capturing your mouth while his hands continue to mesh, knead, pressing onto your soft flesh and pinching at your nipples until you arch your body against him, feeling the pleasure moving rapidly inside you like sparks of flame licking at your center.
His hands trail down to your waist, cursing under his breath when he finds the waistband of your pants getting in the way. Instinctively, you also curse along with him at your decision to wear them. Though it had been undeniably the perfect decision for you to take before running out into the cold, you hate to admit that if only you had been wearing a skirt, or perhaps the same dress that you had worn during dinner, he would already find his way to be inside of you, to be touching you right where you are pulsing with need.
He doesn’t even try to pull away from the kiss even as he tugs at the zipper on your pants with one hand while he tries to work on his own zipper with the other, all while his tongue keeps dancing and teasing against yours in a way which sends magnificent jolts of need all the way down to your toes.
He stops the kiss as he shoves your pants down to your hips and you help as much as you could—by tearing your flimsy bra and kicking the damn pants and underthings the rest of the way until they are all gone, fallen to the floor before Namjoon climbs back on top of you. By then, you are nearly blinded with desire, and it intensifies the moment he slips his fingers between your legs, finding out just how ready you are for him. The touch of his fingers dancing around your heat draws a soft moan right out of your lips, while he breathes out a sigh of relief, as if your readiness serves as the answer to his prayers.
Instead of taking the chance to continue devouring you, Namjoon pulls back, his fingers retreating from your pulsing heat to shove his own pants down, releasing his cock as he kicks everything away. His pants and boxers fall onto the floor with a heap of a mess, and his hand comes down to wrap his hard length, stroking himself a few times as he bends down on the bed, his mouth finding your bare neck where he presses a kiss onto. At the sound of your whimper, his free hand reaches down between your legs, finding your heat once more. This time, his fingers move rather gentle and slow as he circles around your folds, moving in a steady rhythm as he slowly finds the center, then he dips the tips in, pressing right where your arousal keeps dripping out.
“Ah—Namjoon!”
He hums against the nape of your neck as he slowly pushes his way in, dipping his fingers into your heat all the way to his knuckles and grunts as he feels your body shuddering against him. “Fuck, you’re tightening around me, Baby Doll,” he groans deeply, growing nearly breathless as he relishes on the way you are pulsing around his fingers while he continues to stroke himself gently, you can feel him moving against your hips and you raise yourself, inviting him to push himself into you.
Instead, he simply moves his fingers, sliding them in and out of you and rubbing the digits against your pulsing walls while his thumb finds your clit, pressing and circling until the pleasure comes rolling upward and you are left trashing on the bed with the need for release. You can feel the pleasure rising, reaching its peak, but also not quite there. Namjoon can probably feel this too as he gives you a quick peck on the lips before pulling back, suddenly rising and then climbing down the bed. He still has his fingers playing with your cunt, slowly picking up their pace as he thrusts them deeper, pressing right at your sweet spot, before he pulls his thumb away and his mouth latches on in its place.
Everything falls into another flurry of sinful bliss while your body becomes nothing but a bundle of nerve ending as he plays with your body so fluidly—his fingers continue pumping in and out of you, his mouth and tongue taking turns to tease and torture at your swollen clit, sucking and lapping while sometimes he would get his teeth into the mix and brush against the pulsing flesh until you are left trashing and crying with pleasure. There are tears in your eyes at how good he is making you feel and how quickly you are coming over the edge. With your hands clutching on his head, you press your hips down against his face, riding his mouth and hand with a matching pace to the rising pulse of your climax, chasing it with the help of his coaxing words, until you are finally there, as your orgasm comes rolling so intensely there is nothing stopping you from falling over the edge.
Your whole body continues to pulse with the spasms of your climax even as he slowly pulls back, releasing you from his mouth while his fingers are still moving gently around your folds to help you ride it down. Moving ever so slowly, Namjoon climbs his way back up, pressing his hand onto the bed beside you to prop himself over you. He stays there for a moment, watching you closely as you try to control your breath, your eyes slowly opening to him with pure love and lust looking back at him right at the same time you are seeing them coming from his own eyes.
“You can stop me,” he whispers hoarsely. “If you don’t want to do this. If you still want to—”
Go.
The words die down on his tongue, and yet you can still see the fear and doubt in his eyes without him ever having to say them out loud. You reach out to him, trembling hands cupping his face, your thumbs brushing to wipe away the remnants of your release that are still coating his mouth and chin even after he had tried to brush them all clean. “Make love to me, Namjoon,” you whisper to him. “Make me feel alive again. You’re the only one who can make me feel.”
There is a hint of relief and a glint of hope in his eyes when he hears your words. With a smile on his face, he turns to kiss your palm, pressing his mouth on one side before turning to do the same to the other. His gentle hands come up, catching your wrists as he begins kissing down on them, then he brings your hands down to rest them above your heads, pressing them down to the pillows before he lowers himself on top of you and quickly catches your mouth in his once again.
“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time, Baby Doll. I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers against your lips, drawing your tears out when you realise that you have been feeling the exact same way.
One of his hands comes down, before you can feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your slit. He takes a moment to coat his shaft with your arousal, moving it up and down and then around your clit, making your legs tremble around him, until you feel the fat tip of his cock pressing and nudging at your entrance.
With his mouth pressing down on yours, he swallows the soft cries you are making as he sinks into you, groaning deeply as he feels your wet heat engulfing him, wrapping around his girth. He waits for a moment, only until he can feel the intense pulsing of your walls around him slowly wane down, until your body relaxes beneath him, until his own heartbeat steadies and he no longer has to worry about coming too soon to the pleasure of being buried inside you again after so long.
You throw your head back against the pillows as he begins to move, gently and slowly at first, his deep groans turning into whimpers as he relishes the wonderful feeling of his cock brushing against your walls. He thrusts, and thrusts, moving in and out with a steady pace, and you reach out to him just as he finally releases you so he can hold your hips up to him, your hands clinging onto him, urging him on as your need continues to boil hotter from the depth of your core. The sweet and soft sounds you are making soon becomes the encouragement that he needs, along with the way your nails are beginning to clutch and bury themselves into his skin. He leans forward, kissing you again as your hips begin to rock against each other. The old bed creaks beneath you, but nothing can stop either one of you from rolling your hips, chasing and drowning yourself in the pleasure of his lovemaking, pushing up when he presses down, slowly increasing the pace as the need to chase for climax begins to grow stronger on both of you.
Namjoon continues pounding and thrusting his cock rapidly into your heat while you reciprocate by moving your hips, lifting yourself up to meet each of his thrusts. The emotions piling up from the past few days that you have spent with him are all coming to a head, leaving you both clinging desperately to each other as you try to ease the tension that are still carried by both your bodies and your broken hearts. With a deep groan, Namjoon raises his hands, gripping the wooden headrest right above your head as he keeps on bringing you over to the edge of your bliss, picking up his pace as he puts more force into his thrusts, sending you both jostling on top of the bed. And yet his cock keeps hitting you deep to a point that you are feeling the mix of pain and pleasure meshed together in one delightful bliss.
Soon enough, the waves of your orgasm begin to build up once more, coming to you stronger and faster without giving you a chance to hold back. Your breath begins to come out shorter, the cries of pleasure keeps getting caught in your throat at the force of his pounding, before it comes out higher when the pain slowly descends, leaving nothing but pleasure in its place.
“I love you,” he rasps between his thrusts, wanting you to hear it. And you can see his need to let you know this when he never once looks away as he buries himself deep inside you. “I’ve always loved you and I still do. I never stopped, damn it.”
Your gaze turns up and finds his, only to grow blurry and hazy at the mix of your tears and the rising bliss just as you scream out, “I love you too, Namjoon. Always have.”
And always will.
At the exchange of your words, something within you snaps, and with one single thrust, he pushes you over to the edge, sending you tumbling over to the peak of your pleasure with a loud cry of his name. Your climax comes through you in an intense wave, vibrating from deep inside you and wrapping tightly around him to send him to his own release. A deep groan continues to rumble from his chest as he keeps on thrusting, the movement of his cock turns rapid and messy and filled with the desperate need to reach his end before you feel him swelling, tightening inside you, then he pushes forward and going so deep one last time as he releases himself inside you, filling you up with his cum.
The moment everything stops, Namjoon drops down beside you and pulls you to his chest. He continues to hold you tight between his strong arms, letting you feel his heartbeat without minding the thin veil of sweat building between you. As the remaining spasms of your release begin to wind down, your eyes slowly flutter to close, relishing on the mixture of emotions and the feelings running through your body—the warmth of his embrace, the wet heat coming from his release that is still dripping out of your pulsing core, and the feeling of love fluttering inside your heart.
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Your whole body feels incredibly relaxed, while at the same time, completely sore, by the time dawn comes peeking through the window. And yet, you find there is no need to complain about it when your body is also humming with pure pleasure as you open your eyes and stretch your limbs out beside him.
For the rest of the night after your rigorous lovemaking, Namjoon has shown you just how insatiable he could be when he is with you.
For hours, he had taken you in every position possible for a man to take you. With you on top, riding him while facing him and then facing the other way. With him on top of you, taking you hard and gentle and then with a lazy roll of his hips until you were sent into a slow rising bliss. With you in all fours, as he took you from behind, not even caring how the bed kept making loud noises as it kept on banging against the wall with how hard he was pounding his cock into you until your whole body was trembling with your intense climax. You have lost count on how many times he had made you cum, as he simply kept on going, only giving you a short amount of time for breaks each time before taking you again, as if he was making up for lost time the best he could, showing you what three years of exercising and working out while working hard labour had done to his body and stamina.
As if he had been doing it to prepare for this moment, just to please you like nobody could.
“I did some thinking. You know, after our fight 3 years ago,” he murmurs softly after kissing the top of your head. You have your head resting on his shoulder, while he has his arm around your shoulders, his fingers running up and down your arm absentmindedly to enjoy the silence that had fallen between you. “I knew you were right all along, but I guess I was too stubborn to see it then. Then I went to your graduation, watching you from far away since I had too much pride to join my Mom to sit with your family then. But I was still there to see you taking that step onto the life that you had always wanted, and that was when it truly hit me.”
You instantly look up at his face as you listen to him. It surprises you to hear that he had been there for your graduation, when you had spent the entire night after the ceremony crying over his absence. But you say nothing about this, only staying silent as you continue to listen.
“It took me a long time, but I also realised that just because we lost—” he chokes out as he always does whenever he talks about this, so you rub your hand gently over his chest, soothing him so that he could go on. “It didn’t mean that I—that we had lost a chance to still build our family.”
Sighing, you are filled with both relief and despair to know that it has taken him so long to get to this point. To realise all of this. But you are also glad that he is finally there. “That was what I kept trying to tell you,” you murmur to him while trying your best to keep your tears at bay. “But I had to understand. Our reason to believe that we could be a family at all was because of—of him, our little peanut,” you chuckle softly at the short memory of being a young mother. “So it was hard for both of us to look past that and to see us having a life without him with us. At one point, I couldn’t see it. But all I ever wanted was for us to heal together.”
Namjoon closes his eyes briefly and sighs. And then you can see the regret in his eyes when he looks at you again. “I just didn’t want to hold you back. When I finally realised that I could no longer put my life on hold, I also knew that the only way for me to change things up was to start from the beginning rather than for me to chase your shadow. I reapplied for college once I got back home, finished early, started working with my Dad to learn the ropes, and did everything I could to build everything from the ground up, both literally and figuratively, starting with my own life first, stopping it from crumbling to the ground before I started doing the same to the old buildings in town.”
You push yourself up. “Why didn’t I know any of this?”
Namjoon doesn’t answer you right away, but chooses to bring up your question instead. “You asked me why I kept sending the papers back.”
Hesitantly, you nod your head.
“I wanted to win you back,” he says, his smile never leaving his face. “But first, I wanted to become someone who you can rely on, and I knew I had to prove to myself, to you, to everyone, that I can be someone that you can depend on when the only thing people saw from me was how much I had failed you.”
With a sigh, he lets his head fall back. His eyes looking up to the ceiling but his gaze seems further away as he looks back to the past. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I still blame myself for what happened with—” Again, he chokes, but the pain is no longer there when he looks at you. “But I blame myself more for being stuck inside my head while I was grieving that I completely neglected you, completely disregarded my part as your husband, and as the man who vowed to take care of you.”
He lifts his hand, brushing your hair and tucking it behind your ear gently. “I’m sorry it took me a long time to realise it. I should’ve fought harder. I should’ve done it sooner,” he says, keeping his eyes on yours. “I should’ve been there for you and fought my way back up together with you.”
“You could’ve told me. I would have—” you try to speak, “I wouldn’t have—”
Namjoon stops you by pressing a light peck on the tip of your nose. “It doesn’t matter now anyway, right?”
And then it dawns on you, just as you are reminded of how your Mom had sat you down on that first night you arrived, before everyone came by to join dinner, when she asked you gently to have a proper conversation with Namjoon before deciding to do anything. When she asked you to listen to him. “My parents knew about this.”
Namjoon slowly nods. “They had always been the ones to give me their full support. And Bernie wasn’t lying when he said they all helped. Bernie and your uncle, specifically, have been great partners in expanding my construction business.”
It sure takes a lot to take in. There have been so many changes happening while you were gone, so many things that you have missed. Perhaps you were wrong after all when you had thought that life would simply stop in this place, that it would be impossible for you to expand your life in such a small town where there were so many barriers, so many limitations, and not enough room to grow.
But when you had managed to prove to everyone and the world that it was possible for you to have big dreams and to reach for them by leaving, Namjoon had shown that it was possible to have them all by staying.
“I signed the papers,” he murmurs softly, reminding you about the predicament that you have found yourself in. You close your eyes as your heart pinches under the memory of waking up to find those damn papers.
“I saw.” You open your eyes to look at him and sigh. “I haven’t put down my signature yet.”
“Why?” he asks, and then his vulnerability shines bright in his eyes. “Are you going to sign it?”
“I don’t know anymore,” you find yourself answering him, before the pain in your chest increases and you simply drop down on top of his chest to hold him tight. “I won’t. No, never. I’m going to burn those papers once the sun comes up.” Namjoon’s chest rumbles with a chuckle, though you can still feel him sighing with relief when he presses his mouth on your temple. “I ended it. The engagement,” you whisper to him while keeping your face pressed to his bare chest, afraid of what you might find when you look at him.
Namjoon says nothing at first before you feel him nodding. “I know,” he whispers as he buries his nose into your hair, breathing you in before he sighs in relief.
You raise your head to look up. “What? How?”
He hums softly. “I just—I can tell. And I overheard a little bit of your argument while you were on the video call earlier. I was standing right outside the bedroom,” he admits to you sheepishly. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” you say to him after reading the expression on his face, finding more relief and pride present there instead of remorse. “You’re definitely not sorry.”
A slow smile grows on his face as he dips his head, capturing your lips in his with a whisper, “No. No, I’m not.”
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Epilogue…
There was a saying that you read a long time ago. One that said how time flies over everyone, but leaves its shadow behind.
Months have passed since you were reunited with Namjoon. Ever since the holiday week that you spent with him where you were given the chance to revisit your past and to have another look at the life that you had at that moment to find what you had been missing.
The summer breeze comes flowing through, making your dress dance around you as you slowly walk down the path between the guests, surrounded by the familiar faces of your family and friends who have arrived to become a part of this moment.
You make a quick glance over to the seats, your eyes meeting Winny’s, finding her beaming with a smile as she watches you with pride in her eyes. The trip in the winter had done a lot to help her recover, and she had become one of the first people around you to support this day to happen. Everything else had simply fallen in place since—the bar had been expanded to have its own bed and breakfast, Namjoon’s business has risen even faster than what he had ever predicted, as the Mayor’s testimony of his work had spread so fast to the neighbouring town that he had gained even more work, saved even more buildings, and there is nothing stopping him now from blossoming.
And then there is you.
It is certainly funny how life works, how it had chosen to send you into different paths and different kinds of adventures before it finally leads you towards your fairy tale ending.
When you came back home all those months ago, you had thought that you would return to the big city with closure, with a chance to move on with a fairy tale ending. Never once you had ever thought that you would find yourself instead.
Instead of closure, you had found a new beginning, a second chance, and to finally open your eyes to realise that you had already found your fairy tale ending, and you never had to look far to see it. And now you are here, walking towards the happy ending that you had dreamed of for a long time, in the magical moment that you had pictured in your head ever since you were a little girl—a white wedding at the top of the cliff, overlooking the town and the canyons below, with you wearing an ivory dress that sparkles beautifully under the bright sun above.
You look ahead, meeting Namjoon’s gaze as he waited for you at the end of the path, standing not too far away from the edge of the cliff that serves as your final stage. Right beside him is the Mayor, acting as the officiant for this ceremony, a surprise gift that he had offered after finding out about your plans for renewing your marriage vows with Namjoon. The fact that he had offered his service only months after you had officially become his legal advisor was almost too good to be true, but the man had claimed that he owed so much to Namjoon, and then now to you, to take the pleasure of becoming a part of this moment.
You look at Namjoon and smile at him. There are tears in his eyes when you finally reach him. His hands are trembling when he takes yours in his, but the moment your hands touch each other, the only thing you both feel is a wave of calmness, as the bond between you takes over to eliminate all the nerves.
You barely pay attention as the Mayor reads out the written vows that you had prepared for each other, only until the moment he gives you the final question, of promising a forever with Namjoon, both in happiness and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and nothing can ever set you apart.
You raise your head, looking straight into the eyes of the man who had always been there as a part of your journey, whether or not he was constantly present in every page of your tale. Your husband. Your Prince Charming.
And as you look out beyond the cliff, into the sight of nothingness that also offers you a wide-open space with a thousand of possibilities for your future, you feel as if you are free falling into your new beginning, and you simply take it, knowing full well that he would be there to catch your fall.
Always.
“I do.”
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Extra: honourable mention - BM (Matthew) from Kard
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❥ Author’s note 2.0 | Thank you for reading!
❥ Taglist | @hearteuforjoonie — @blue1928 — @jeonmisha — @smitssharon02 — @mini-coop25​ — @sumzysworld — @namjooningelsewhere — @nyamnomnamujoon — @rrrrap-monster — @moonchild1 — @onlythehobi — @secretlypg95 — @girlsforgloss — @kpopstudybee — @mynameis-kim​
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sugasbabiie · 12 days ago
Text
Before You Drag Me To Hell || KNJ
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Summary: It’s no secret; those who worship black magic will never see the light. You sell your soul for your abilities, and the new owner will come to collect. You had five years to enjoy your freedom, but you wasted your time chasing after a relationship that simply could not be. Now, the demon is here, ready to collect your tarnished soul and drag you to damnation. However, before he takes you away, you make one final request. Will the demon fulfill it? Or will you spend the rest of eternity in the dark? 
Unsure of what it feels like for someone to have as much love for you as you do for them.
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↣ Pairing: Demon!Namjoon x Witch!Female Reader
↣ Genre: supernatural, fantasy, magic, heavy angst, smut, horror, slight unrequited love, a drop of fluff, a hint of romance, strangers to lovers trope, demon au
↣ Word Count: 13k
↣ Rating: R & only intended for mature audiences
↣ Warnings: (dark themes, bdsm themes, and hard kinks ahead.) mild violence, blood, a small bit of mild gore(nothing too bad), arson, a hint religious themes, pining and unrequited love, injuries, demonic/Satanic themes, witchcraft, black magic, minor character death(no one we will miss), shunning/exile, kissing, rough sex, unproctected sex, Dom!Namjoon/Sub!Reader, impact play, anal, anal play, multiple orgasms, controlled orgasms, temperature play, creampie, deep throating, face fucking, slight double penetration, biting/scratching/marking, branding, degradation/humiliation, corruption kink, oral sex(m & f receiving), fingering, Namjoon has a demon dick that I personally adore, hot semen(because he’s a demon), pet names, dirty talk and name calling, breath play/choking, invisible restraints(it’s magic), crying, begging, doggystyle, missionary, kitchen sex, implied cockwarming, impreg kink, spit play, size kink, intense orgasms, pain kink, squirting, praise kink, Namjoon has a split tongue, Sir kink, nipple play, bulge kink, belly inflation, pregnancy, revenge served at its coldest, possessive sex, suggestive language, mind games, a happy ending per host’s request lol
↣ A/N: I would first like to give a big shoutout to @jamaisjoons​ for not only hosting this amazing Namkook Moonrise Masquerade collab, but for also making this beautiful banner. Thank you for being a great host and making this event fun and interesting!  My next shoutout goes to the lovely sweetheart @bangtanhome​ you have no idea how much I appreciate you. Thank you so much for beta reading this for me on a short notice. I swear this story would be nothing without you. Please check out the rest of the participants, and also tell me what you think of this story. I’d really love some feedback. Thanks! Please enjoy!
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“Satan has you by the throat, girl. Your services are no longer needed here. Get out; before you are thrown out of this holy place. From this day forward, you are considered shunned from this town…go back to the hills where you came from and await whatever fate the devil has set out for you. For those who serve magic shall never see the light. I would pray that God has mercy on your soul, but it’d be impossible because you no longer have one.  Now leave!...before the beast enters this sacred land in search of you. You’ve done this town enough harm; we will need cleansing.”
No more than a second after the mayor announced those gut wrenching words, the chilling howl of a hellhound ripples through the autumn night. Your eyes desperately scope out the people around you, all members of the board. You seek any sign of mercy, remorse, pity, but the only thing you’re met with is disgust and scowls.
 He stands among the onlookers, the man you fell deeply for, but instead of standing by your side when you admitted to your mistakes, he exposed you to the town’s leaders and played a part in deciding your punishment. He denied his relationship with you, dismissed the encounters you had, and  he even claimed to not know about your pact with the demon. The man knew of it all, including your feelings for him, but in the end, he chose religion and labeled you a liar.
After everything you’ve done for him and his family, the only thing you receive in return is humiliation and a broken heart. It all started when you started leaving your village to assist the town’s medics. The sweet boy would always stop by the hospital and bring you a meal for lunch. You chatted and talked about things that weren’t allowed to be discussed in the presence of the religious townsfolk. But one day, he didn’t show up, and your curious mind began to wander. You discovered where he lived, and you also found out his mother was gravely ill. That is when you told him your secret, your abilities.
You used your magic to heal his mother, but back then, you were only capable of producing small amounts of magic at a time. You spent most of your time reviving plants and flowers. But the sweet boy turned into a greedy savage; the more you gave, the more he wanted—until you had nothing left to give.
After his mother was better, he started seeing others but still maintaining the status of someone holy. He’d only approach you for two things, a touch of your magic and a night with your body. You wanted more than that; he always promised more. But more never came. That’s why you did it. That’s why you sold your soul; to please the man you thought would do the same for you. But unfortunately, the man probably wouldn’t even spit on you if you were set ablaze.
Five years.
Five years was all he could spare when you offered him your soul. “Use them wisely,” is what the demon told you before he disappeared into the night. If only you had listened. If only you weren’t such a stupid girl back then…if only you weren’t a silly girl now.
Even after being humiliated and betrayed by him, you weren’t angry. You learned your lesson—the hard way. But you thought he’d at least look back at you as you made your way out of the church. You didn’t want to plead for your life or pity…you only wanted to say, ‘I love you’ one last time, knowing he’d never return the feelings. He never did, not even after you admitted to selling your soul for him.
Though it happened five years ago, you’ll never forget how you cried yourself to sleep, wondering why the man could never love you the way you loved him. Back then, the wound was still fresh but now, not so much. You’ve grown a lot, but you still have a lot to learn about self-worth—too bad you’ll never get to discover what that is. If only you would have loved yourself enough to know that a man was not worth your freedom…if only.
You were only twenty when you summoned the malicious beast that now holds your contract. Desperate to have even an ounce of his love, you asked the other witches of your village how they gained their strength, and they informed you that they called upon a particular demon and sold their souls for it. They didn’t know his name or what he looked like, only the spell to reach him. And when you called, he came, but he didn’t give you the same offer as the other women. He only gave you a mere fraction, and stupidly, you took it.
You remember just how chilling those glowing bloodshot eyes were, staring back at you in the pitch black of night.
“Why can’t I see what you look like?” you ask curiously.
“Because you’ll forget what you came here for if I allow you to.” The deep demonic voice answers from only feet away. “How can I assist you tonight, angel? You seem…upset? Did you break something when you fell from heaven?” he mocked carelessly, his amused tone making your heart break ten times more.
 You must look like the biggest fool for miles, and you’d bet a stack of gold that you definitely are.
 “I-” you hiccup, making the faceless being laugh again. Your body begins to tremble, and the last brick keeping you upright crumbles to pieces. You fall face first onto the ground, and heavy sobs escape your throat as your tears seep into the already damp soil.
 The demon sighs, seemingly taking pity on your fragile state. “Ahh, get up. If you want something from me, you need to be a tough soldier. I’m not one of these scavengers that go looking for anything they can find. I am one of the oldest, and I don’t make deals with the weak; those souls get me nowhere.” He proclaims. “So get up, angel. Wipe that pretty little face, and tell me how I can make you smile.” He adds.
 You somehow find the strength to rise to your feet. You have no choice but to do what he says if you want to be powerful enough to please your lover. This is your only shot at true love, and you don’t want to waste it. The spell will not work again.
 “I…” you hesitate for a moment but ultimately find your words, blurting them out into the cool eerie night. “I just want the man I love to love me back.” You inform, voice shaky with nervousness. It isn’t every day that you’re in the presence of something this ominous.
He whistles.
“Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming, sweetheart. But can you answer this question for me?” he inquires.
 A scratching noise is heard a few feet away, about where he is standing, so you assume he’s tapping against a nearby tree. Although the sound resembles more of what a sharp instrument would make, not fingernails, it causes you to wonder about the size of this beast.
 He is large, that’s for sure, over a foot taller than you. His eyes are more feral-like than human; they illuminate without any reflection of light and are overly dilated.  However, that’s about the only thing you know about his appearance. The demon’s voice is deep and surprisingly smooth and inviting. But maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be—to lure people in.
You nod but then opt to give a verbal response because it’s impossible to see in the woods at night, especially since he made you put out your lantern. However, the demon speaks before you have a chance to answer.
“You are…afraid of me, no? But you want something from me. How does that work?” he questions.
“I-I’m not sure.” You reply in a small voice. It’s true; you are afraid, but love makes you do crazy things. “I guess I’m just determined to make this work. It hurts to love someone so much, and they show you nothing in return. Maybe loneliness makes you desperate.”
“Hm, humans are so complicated.” He chuckles. “But ooh, so interesting.”
There is a pause in the conversation, a moment where you stare at one another. You feel as if he’s examining you inside and out, trying to discover your anatomy. You feel exposed, naked under his intense gaze.
“I can’t help you with love, angel.” He finally says, making your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. “I don’t know what that is or how to conjure it.”
It’s like your entire world caves in with those very words. The witches told you he could give you anything you wanted, so why are you being denied? It isn’t fair.
“But I can give you the power to make any man…or woman grovel at your feet.” He continues, bringing the pending sobs to a halt. “For one small soul, of course.”
“Yes! You can have it!... if I have to live like this, I don’t want it anyway.” You state, and the demon hisses.
“Yeah, don’t speak those things, angel. I don’t like that.”
You lower your head, not wanting to upset the one who is doing you this favor. “As you wish, sir.”
A low growl erupts around you, making the ground shake.
“Easy,” he warns, but you aren’t sure why. All you know is that you don’t want to mess this up, so if the demon tells you not to do something, you certainly won’t be doing it.
“So, how will it work?” you inquire, a bit too eager to give away your freedom.
The demon sighs. “Sweetheart, do you know what happens to your soul when you willingly give it to someone like me? Do you know where it goes?”
You respond with a yes, and the creature before you only stares. “I’ve already received my one-way ticket when I decided to serve magic; there is no light in my future, only an eternity of darkness. I’m going to hell whether it’s a hundred years from now or tomorrow; there’s no question about it. So please, while I have this opportunity, allow me to feel some form of happiness before I leave.” You plead.
“Fine…as you wish, angel.” He finally agrees. “When you wake up tomorrow, you will have the magic you find in those little books of yours at the tips of your fingers. You could destroy an entire town in under a minute, have an army of followers by the next sunset…that’s how powerful you’ll be.” The demon informs.
 You shake your head. “But I don’t–”
“DO NOT EVER DENY ME OR WHAT I GIVE YOU!” he roars, and you can hear the nearby critters scattering away.
You’re left trembling in your shoes, terrified by the demon’s violent outburst. He’s been so calm this entire time; the sound startled you greatly. But surprisingly, he apologizes for scaring you. “Sorry, my angel. But please do not ever reject my gifts to you. I simply could have walked away and left you hopeless.”
“I apologize. It will not happen again.” You promise. He hums in agreement.
 “Oh, I know it won’t. You don’t want me to collect early, do you?” he taunts, and you shake your head in protest.
 “No, not at all.”
 As you’re finishing your sentence, one important question pops into your mind. “So how do we…?”
“How do we what, angel?” he questions.
“You know…seal the deal? I guess.” You inquire curiously, remembering the stories your elders told you about their encounters.
This draws another laugh from the creature, one that’s genuine and less sinister.
“Let me guess. Those whores in that village told you that I was going to bend you over and fuck you out here like an animal.” He cackles, making heat creep up your neck. You couldn’t imagine anyone but the man you love seeing you naked, but something within you is slightly curious about what that would be like.
“I’m not treating you like that, angel. Believe it or not, you are much different from those dumbbells. If you were one of them, I’d already have you on your knees catching a mouth full. I only tell them that because I know they’re easy, and I like playing with my food before eating it. The blood seekers add to the offering is more than enough to seal any deal.” The demon informs, turning his attention towards the night sky before continuing. “Besides, I have a strong feeling that you’ll be the one asking me to give it to you by the end of our duration together. Oh, and speaking of time….”
 Your eyebrows raise in curiosity.
 “I can only give you a fraction of what I’ve offered anyone else.” He states.
“A fraction?...H-How long is a fraction?”
“Five years, angel.” The beast says.
“W-What!? But you–”
“Tsk. Tsk, angel. No arguing with the hand that feeds you. I’m making you an offer no one has ever gotten from me; it’s a pity you’re too blinded by emotion to see its potential. I will give you five years for the power of a goddess; take it or leave, sweetheart. But know this, you will never find another offer like it, and once I pull it from the table, it’s gone.”
Your mind runs a mile a minute after he says those words. How were you just supposed to decide on something like this so quickly? Five years isn’t time at all; it’ll be up before you blink. But spending it alone will feel like an eternity, and you’d probably die of a broken heart before the year is over. If you’re going to die, you want to die knowing that love exists for you and that you are deserving of it.
“Then I’ll accept it. I’ll accept your offer in exchange for my soul. Ahh!” Suddenly, the skin between your breasts begins to burn, not like a case of heartburn; it feels like someone is literally burning your flesh. You wince in pain, placing your palm over the area to soothe it. “W-What?-What’s happening?”
You look towards the demon for answers, figuring he has something to do with this, and you are correct.
“It won’t last long, sweetheart. I was only claiming my property.” He states calmly.
“What did you do?” you ask, peeking inside your blouse. Your skin seems fine; not even a scratch is left behind. Even the pain has subsided; you’re confused.
“It’s only set in place, so you don’t try to run away from me, angel—nothing to worry about. It’ll appear exactly 24hours before I come to collect what’s mine. You’ll get that same feeling, and your branding will be visible. It’s a tracking spell, an old one, so don’t try to remove it; it’ll fuck with you in ways unimaginable.”
“I won’t try to run. I promise. A deal’s a deal, and I will pay my part. Thank you for helping me; I won’t take this for granted.” You assure.
The beast chuckles softly, his voice sending vibrations throughout the wooded forest.
“We’ll see about that, baby. You just make sure I don’t have to chase you down when that time comes, okay. And remember, you only have five years with that magic; use them wisely. Go home, get some rest, and tomorrow you’ll be brand new. Enjoy the rest of your life while you can because the next meeting we have will be to end it. Goodbye for now, angel. I’ll see you soon.” The demon voice trails off into the night, but you’d like to ask him one more thing before he departs.
“Wait! I didn’t get your…name.”
But it’s too late, and instead of being met with a pair of glowing red eyes, the only thing you can see is darkness.
And the demon kept his promise, but unfortunately, you did not. When you awoke the following morning, the magic literally sizzled at your fingertips. You were thrilled, and the first thing you did was go out and plant the garden you always wanted. The village’s soil lost its touch a long time ago, and growing anything there was impossible until that day. You spent the entire day reviving surrounding vegetation, but when it came down to hexing and solving your problems with your unrequited love, you never had the heart to follow through.
You tried, you really did, but every time you thought about forcing him into that situation, it made you sick to your stomach. One more thing occurred to you as well; whenever the demon returned to take you away, your lover would be left to live life without you—alone and heartbroken, like you are now. You wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, especially someone you love, so in the end, you did the exact opposite of what the demon advised; you let your five years waste away.
The demon would visit you in your dreams nearly every night for the past five years. His voice would constantly whisper filthy unholy things in your ear, trying to get you to do things to hurt the man you loved. Sometimes you’d be so lonely that you’d play his wicked games then immediately feel guilty as your pleasure faded away. The truth is, you have always been weak, and you don’t know why you thought acquiring powers could change anything.
Now, as you’re leaving town, you watch as the thick clouds slowly cover the moon. You’re left to finish your commute in the dark, alone and sorrowful, as you replay the last moments with the man you love. Your mind begins to venture off into ‘what-ifs.’ What if you’d gotten married? Had children?... Moved away from here. Those are some of the things you wanted, and you could have had them if it weren’t for your stupidity.
 It makes you very angry, and it isn’t long before you’ve worked yourself up to tears. Why couldn’t you just be strong enough to put yourself first? Why did you have to let him walk all over you? You deserve everything you have coming to you; you deserve to be dragged to hell.
You’re so emotional that you don’t even hear the soft whimpers until the sound is a couple of feet in front of you. You stop in your tracks to observe the sight. It’s a large animal, maybe a bear. No, wait. “Is that a dog?” you whisper to yourself.
You look around in search of an owner, but you see no one. Besides, who on Earth would have a dog this size? You didn’t even know a dog could grow this big. Its head looks as if it weighs more than your entire body.
“Hey, pup.” You greet, getting closer. You crouch carefully, doing your best not to startle the furry creature. “Are you hurt? I’m not here to harm you, okay; just let me have a little peek. I can probably make it better.” You coo as the whimpers continue.
When the animal rolls over, its eyes open slightly, and you nearly hop out of your skin. A pair of blood-red eyes peek out from behind the dog’s lids; it’s a hellhound—the hellhound. “Oh–my–ahh…!”
The creature springs to life, almost pouncing on you had you not moved in a split second. You hop on your feet, fleeing but not before it has the chance to drag its thick talons down your right thigh. You scream and wail in pain but never stop moving, running as fast as you can in the direction of your home. However, the hellhound is right on your tail, and you can hear its vicious snarls as it closes in on you. You have to think fast if you don’t want to be ripped apart.
So for the first time in your five years with your gift, you use it to cause harm.
“I’m so sorry, puppy.” You sob, using your powers to send a neighboring tree crashing down on him. The pain in your chest intensifies when you realize the heavy thuds of the beast running are no longer heard. The tears blind you, but still, you keep moving, not stopping until you are in your little adobe and you close the final latch on the door. “Fuck.” You whisper, voice trembling with pain.
You examine your wound and become queasy when you notice the deep gashes and the large amounts of blood gushing out of it. “Goddamn it…” you groan, resting your head against the door.
“I knew you had a filthy mouth hiding in there somewhere, angel.” A familiar voice says from the other side of the door. You recognize it easily. It’s him. It’s the demon. “Open up so I can help you. Don’t try to do it yourself; you’ll bleed to death. Your magic won’t fix those wounds. Nor will they work on me, so don’t try anything…and open up before I let myself in.”
You look at the floor and discover a small pool of your own blood has already appeared. You quickly unlock the door and open it wide to let in the beast. However, you aren’t met with a beast at all. It’s a man.
He is tall and handsome, with silver hair and lips that seem as soft as pillows—his physique is broad, muscular biceps strain against his black shirt. The man’s chest and stomach also appear firm and toned; he resembles a god. Or maybe not.
“You look good too, angel. Considering.”
This is not a man; it’s the demon. The proof is provided when his eyes flash red suddenly, reminding you of the night you met. He then smiles, two perfect dimples appearing on each of his cheeks when he does. The demon is breathtaking, and you can understand why he did not want you to see him initially; you would have been very distracted. He’s like nothing you’ve ever seen.
He steps inside, looking around before he turns his attention to you. Your head tilts upward so that you can take in his features. He’s so close, and all you want to do is touch him and see if he’s real.
“Take off your dress.” He requests abruptly, making your eyes widen. “Hurry up!” he shouts when you take too long to obey.
Despite being unsure of this request, you do as he says but struggle to unzip the back. The demon is behind you in a flash, mumbling words about moving too slowly and not wanting you to pass out. A large hand is placed on your shoulder. One glimpse at your shoulder reveals a set of sharp black claws that protrude from his nail bed. You nearly gasp, wide eyes snapping straight ahead as you feel the tip of those talons scrapping your back lightly as he helps you out of your dress.
“I need to look at your wounds, sweetheart. So I can heal them properly.” He says as your dress falls to the floor. Your body shakes with nervousness, the thought of him seeing you in nothing but your tattered underwear only adds to your worries. Your arms instinctively wrap around your body in an attempt to shield yourself from his gaze. “Don't worry, you have nothing to fear. I prefer to take my women with consent.” He assures.
You nod, unsure of why he’s doing this because he’s about to kill you anyway. Maybe your soul is only valuable if he is the one to end your life. A wound from his pet just won’t do. Although speaking of his pet…
“Is your dog okay?” you inquire, concerned about his well being. You don’t see him anymore, and you hope that tree didn’t do any permanent damage. You already feel terrible for hurting the animal.
The demon scoffs. “Is my dog okay?” he repeats with a chuckle, running his palm over your torn flesh, healing everything in its touch. The area tingles and burns slightly, making you wince. “Try to stay still. I’m almost done.”
You try your best not to move, but it’s hard when you can feel him behind you. His breath hitting the back of your neck makes tiny goosebumps rise on your skin, his chest bumping into you slightly when he moves, and every time he speaks, that deep rich voice fills your ears like smooth jazz. It is intoxicating and not helping in your already hazy state.
“I don’t have a dog…I was only fucking around with you.” The collector of your soul admits, making your brows furrow.
“W-What? But–”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, though.” He tells you, turning your body slightly to face him. “I thought you’d move much faster. I’m sor-ss….” The demon clears his throat, trying to conjure up his response but seems to be having trouble with the words.
“It’s fine.” You help him out, knowing an apology must be hard to give when you could care less.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“How do you know my name?” you ask him.
“I know everything about you; I own your soul, remember?” He reminds you, searching your body for any more abrasions. “I’ll give you twenty minutes to clean up and get dressed, but that is all. Don’t try to run away again.” He says as he turns away to look out of the window.
“I only ran because I thought I was going to be ripped apart. You scared me; you never told me that would happen initially. My mind was joggled; I’ve had a rough couple of days.” You argue.
“Fair enough, then. I assume that means you wasted your time on Earth.” The demon proposes, and you have to agree. It’s the truth.
“He wouldn’t even look at me as I was leaving, and he knew I was going to die tonight.” You mumble, causing the demon to grip the nearby chair tightly.
“Go get ready, angel. You have fifteen minutes.” He snarls, and you quickly make your way to your bedroom. You have no idea why he’s healing your wounds or allowing you to clean up only to kill you, but the sound of the same chair he had a death grip on being violently slammed against the floor tells you not to ask.
Whatever the reason is, you won’t have any complaints about it. Instead of thinking about someone who doesn’t care about you, you should use your last moments of freedom, reminiscing over the good times in your life.
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It only takes you a few minutes to bathe the dried blood from your body. While examining your skin in the mirror after, you did not find any evidence of being mauled by the demon. You spent most of your time crying once you realized you had no happy memories to think back on. You’ve always been that abandoned child that the village looked after out of pity, you had no friends, and your adult life was spent chasing after an unrequited love. 
You have no idea what it feels like to be loved, and now you never will.
“Are you ready to go?” The demon calls from the kitchen, and you turn in that direction, making your way to the area before answering him.
“Yeah, but may I ask where we are going? Couldn’t you just do it here?” you question and the beast rises from his seat. It’s dark in the kitchen, the only light is from the moon, but it does not cast in his direction, making it impossible to see his features.
However, those glowing red eyes are clear as day, and it brings back those memories from five years ago once again. He approaches you with slow strides, his heavy boots padding over the creaky floor until he stops right in front of you and the moonlight is shining upon his honey kissed skin. The demon appears more human in the light with brown irises that you’d lose yourself in if you aren’t careful.
“Things like this have to be done a certain way, angel. So if you are ready, then let’s go.” He says, holding out his hand. You hesitantly place yours in his, and he gives you a small nod.
The demon then turns towards the empty wall across the room, murmuring words to himself before a black opening on the surface appears. Inside there is nothing, but you can hear what seems like thousands of distant screams and wails of agony. “Are they…?”
“Souls. Mine actually. The ones I own.” He states, and the gulp you take is heard throughout the kitchen. “I’ve been doing this a long time, angel.” He says, turning back to look at you. “Too long.” He whispers, but you don’t care about that part because he’s already turned in the other direction when he says it.
The demon sighs and begins taking strides towards the rift. Your smaller legs struggle to keep up, but it seems as if you’re still moving too fast. Panic sets in, and just before the demon can jump into the abyss with you in tow, you grab his arm tightly with your free hand and yell for him to stop.
“WAIT!!!”
The demon abruptly comes to a halt, making you crash into his body. You almost fall backward from the impact, but his quick reflexes help him spin around and prevent you from hitting the floor.
“What!?” he seethes, anger radiating from his body. “You said you weren’t going to protest, angel! What happened to keeping your word?”
“I-”
You what?... Realized what the hell is happening, and now you’ve changed your mind? 
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that’s too damn bad, sweetheart! It’s over; you’re coming with me. Time to see what hell looks like!” The demon roars, yanking you along until you wiggle out of his grasp. He whips around, red eyes and nose flaring.
“Please! I swear I’m not begging for my life…I only would like just one more favor! Please…just one, and I’ll go willingly.”
The demon’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. He’s furious but somehow finds the strength to calm himself. “I gave you everything. The world was at your fingertips, Y/N. You chose to waste it, so what could you possibly want right now? And I swear if you bring him up, I will throw your ass into hell without a second thought.”
You shake your head. “No, it isn’t him, I promise. But if it’s too much to ask, I understand. You know what… never mind, I’m sorry for wasting your time. Let’s just go.” You say defeated.
“No. Because I’m both amused and curious now as to why you are going back on your promise, I want you to tell me. What’s on that pretty little mind of yours? Want a few more days with that incompetent church boy so he can read you scriptures while you suck him off?” The demon chuckles, and embarrassment creeps up your neck.
“No, I don’t. I know he doesn’t love me now, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” You admit as tears roll down your cheeks. You feel so pathetic, but if you don’t take this leap, you’ll break your promise to yourself.
While you were washing away the memories of today, you started thinking about if you would have just gone away and found someone who appreciated you. Surely, it couldn’t have been that hard. There’s a whole world full of people looking for love, and instead of being one of them, you chased after something that caused you pain.
There’s nothing you can do about the past, but with the ounce of future you have left, you’ll make the most of it. This last bit will be dedicated to you, not anyone else.
“Then what, Y/N? Speak up.” He encourages.
“I was wondering if you could do one last thing for me. I know you said you didn’t do love, but I was just wondering if you could try, only for a moment. I just…I want to know what it feels like, you know. I just want one happy thing to hold onto after I go, and I’d like for it to be that feeling.” You tell him, using the backs of your hands to wipe away your tears.
“Love you?” he scoffs. A bit of shame washes over you at the thought of begging a demon to show you any type of emotion. However, the idea of dying without ever knowing what it feels like to be cared for is a greater burden. “Baby, there have been grown men on their knees pleading for a little more time, and you’re asking me to pretend that I love you? Exactly how much did this world fuck you over because this is insane.”
“I just...No one in my life has ever loved me. My parents or ‘parent’ left me to die in the woods. The village only uses me for my powers and often threatens to throw me out when I won’t use them to hurt people, and the only man I ever loved played me like a fool. So I’d say the world doesn’t even care if I lived or died.” You conclude, playing with the fabric of your dress.
You aren’t looking at him; your gaze is fixated on the wooden floor. You don’t know what to expect when you look at his face—amusement, annoyance, disgust. Although your curiosity is victorious, and you look up to take a peek at the beast.
He’s staring out of the window again, at the trees and hills off in the distance. But when he feels you watching him, he turns to you. The demon seems agitated, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek like he’s fighting the urge to say something. Not wanting to piss him off when he’s given you this long to speak before he takes you, you attempt to retract your request.
“I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I asked that of you. I must seem very ungrateful, but I assure you that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I won’t waste any more of your time. You may take me now; I’m ready.” You state, clenching your fist to prepare for whatever comes next. You couldn’t even mask the disappointment in your voice.
The unholy creature simply shakes his head, appearing even more displeased than before. Your heart begins to race with fear and nervousness; he seems like he just wants to rip you apart right now.
“If I make you feel good, will you stop thinking about that sack of shit and forget he ever existed?” The demon inquires, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow at you.
You can’t help but notice the thick, sharp talons he has for nails again. Though they are black and terrifying, they also look clean and manicured. His entire appearance seems well-kept, but you know it is only a disguise to walk amongst the living. Your mind wonders about what his real face looks like.
“I can try. No. I can; I definitely can.” You lie, trying to appear confident so you can persuade the demon. You know he can see right through you; you can tell by the way he smirks. But it was worth a try.
“Good.” He plays along, uncrossing his toned arms, and moving closer to you. He brings his left arm around your waist, and his right hand lifts your thigh--picking you up and placing you on the kitchen counter. You almost squeak in surprise, but it gets trapped in your throat when the demon’s lips come within a hairs-length from yours. “...because I don’t want you thinking about anyone else while I’m devouring this sweet cunt.” He concludes, moving closer and kissing your lips.
At first, he only keeps his lips on yours, but as you sink into his touch, you both begin to move slowly in sync. You kiss him back but allow him to lead since you don’t know his boundaries. Hell, you didn’t know a demon could even kiss, especially this well. The feeling sweeps you off the ground, defying gravity at all odds. It’s like you’re floating right now, and in the midst of it all, it’s so quick to get carried away. The only the keeping you grounded is the large hand splayed out on your mid-back, heating your entire body and comforting you in unimaginable ways.
The hand resting on your thigh travels to the back of your head. His fingers entangled in your hair, nails scraping gently against your scalp. It draws a moan from you, and your hands resting on your lap have the urge to touch him. Although you stop yourself, unsure of whether or not you are allowed to.
Seeing your hesitation, the demon unwraps his arms from around you and grabs both your hands, placing them on his shoulder, giving you silent permission to do as you please. He then pulls you closer, and you can feel a slight bulge pressing against your center. You are learning more and more about demon anatomy with every passing second. You let your fingers run wild, exploring his firm chest and muscular biceps while observing how his muscles flex beneath your touch. Is he enjoying this too? Or is this all an illusion to feed into your desire? Unfortunately, it’s hard to tell.
Realizing you probably need some air, his lips part from yours and allow you to take a breath. You didn’t even realize how deprived of oxygen you were until you inhaled with a loud gasp. The demon gives you a minute to calm yourself before he speaks.
“If you’re breathless now, just wait until I’m done - really done; I’ll have to teach you how to breathe after that.” He states, pushing up your dress and sliding your panties down.
You surprise yourself when you voluntarily lift your hips to assist him in doing so; you’ve only had sex with one man before, and instead of being nervous, you’re actually eager to experience a touch of another.
Once they’ve made it to your ankles, the demon drops to his knees, making you curious about what he’s doing. However, you get your answer when he first takes a big whiff of the fabric then tosses it behind him. He pulls you to the edge and throws your left leg over his shoulder, looking up at you with a devilish smirk.
“If you taste as good as you smell, then you really are a gift from heaven.” He states before spreading your folds and placing his tongue between them. A slow torturous stripe is licked from bottom to top, and when he gets to your clit he swirls it around the throbbing bud.
Your mouth falls wide open. No one has ever done this to you before. As far as you know, performing those acts is prohibited by the word of God—well, that is what your past lover said. But you assume that goes out the door when you are fucking the unholy. It feels filthy, dirty, and you love every bit of it.
“I knew you’d like the way my tongue feels on this pretty pussy. I could stay here all night and have you grind on my face.” He tells you before quickening his pace. You notice that his tongue does not resemble one of a human; it’s longer, thicker, and forklike.
He uses it to rut against your clit repeatedly. The feeling is new but so, so good, and you already can’t get enough of having his mouth on you. You reach out and grip his hair with your left hand, using the right as leverage to help yourself get off. Two fingers prod at your entrance, and you beg him to fill you with them. “Please…I need more.” You whine, and he gives it to you with no hesitation.
His digits sink into your heat, using the sleekness of your juices to enter without any difficulty. You moan and bite your lip, working desperately to achieve a release. The demon inserts another finger and continues to pump in and out of you at the same speed as your hips. Your body works overtime to reach your orgasm, but still, you need a little more to help you get there.
“More…please.” You say through labored breaths, and the demon’s tongue abandons your clit. You open your mouth to protest, but he then does the unthinkable.
The beast uses his fingers to open you up to stretch and prep your walls, making accommodations for himself. “I need to get you to relax.” He says before sliding his wet appendage into your center.
Your eyes widen in shock, unable to comprehend what is really happening. It’s unbelievable how he stretches you, and makes a way for himself. You have no idea how he’s doing it, but you have no complaints.
You struggle to hold onto the table, and the demon lifts your other leg to place your foot on the surface, spreading your legs wider for him. His fingers and tongue continue fuck you until you're literally begging to come. He mumbles the words ‘go ahead’ as best as he could, and before he can finish speaking, you’re letting go, coming all over his tongue and fingers as if you were made to do such a thing.
“Shit! I’m coming!” you cry, body shaking and contorting above him. The vibrations from his low chuckle send you further overboard, and another orgasm is quick to follow. The demon fucks you through them, using his tongue and fingers to rub against your sweet spot. His nose teases your clit, and when your high fades away, you have to pry his head away from you due to the overstimulation.
The demon removes his tongue and moves up to slurp and suck your sensitive bud before he reluctantly pulls his fingers out of you and rises to his feet.
“Come here.” He whispers, pulling you closer and kissing you feverishly.
His forklike tongue invades your mouth, exploring and leaving the taste of your arousal in every place it touches. You moan into the kiss, and he reaches behind you to cup your ass. Your legs wrap around his waist, holding onto his strong body for dear life. When your lungs begin to burn too much, you pull away slightly. A string of saliva connects your lips, and his tongue darts out to lick it up. You look at each other for what seems like an eternity before he finally speaks, his tone a bit softer than before.
“Did that make you feel better?” He asks you, cupping your cheek. His forehead rests against yours as he allows you to catch your breath before speaking.
You nod as best as you can, “It did, but….”
“But what, angel?” He inquires, thumb caressing your skin and wiping away a fallen tear.
“I-I…I want more.” You request as more tears begin to fall. The way he just made you feel was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You’re so worked up and in need to be filled that you don’t even realize how greedy you’re being.
The demon sighs. “Well, I’m not going to give you what you want, angel.” He admits, making your heart drop. “But I am going to give you what you need. We already have seen what happens whenever I give you what you want. So…until you learn what you’re worth, I’m going to treat you like the whore you wish to be.”
Confusion washes over your already dazed state. You want to scream, protest…but you never get the chance. The demon once again captures your undivided attention.
“And you can either comply or get dragged to the pit, sweetheart. It’s your choice.” He whispers, kissing your cheek and wrapping his strong arms around your waist. The demon pins you with his eyes, a slight amusement in his red irises. "So, what do you say? Ready for me to break you out of that shell?"
You pull away slightly to stare into his bloodshot eyes, taking in his handsome appearance one final time before you do the unthinkable and give yourself to him. What more do you have to lose? He already owns your soul.
“Okay…I’ll be yours.” You respond finally a bit nervous about what comes next, but you are adamant in your answer.
“Are you sure?” He searches your face for any uncertainty and finds none.
“Positive. I just want to be desired…that’s all.” You assure, lowering your head.
The demon hooks his index finger under your chin and makes you look at him again. “Very well then.” He sighs, tilting his head slightly. There’s a pause, but he speaks after a few seconds.
“On your knees.” He commands, lifting you off the counter and placing your feet on the floor. Your legs tremble from your previous orgasm, making it hard to stay steady.
He grips your hips firmly, not letting go until you have found your balance. Once planted to the ground, the demon watches you expectantly, and you obediently fall to your knees as he requested, staring up at him as you await further instructions.
“Well, it won’t suck itself. Get to it, whore.” He berates, placing a hand on his hip.
Your hands spring into action, excited to see what lies underneath the black trousers. You’ve never done this before, but you’ve always wanted to. You've never done this before, but you've always wanted to. What you lack in experience, you'll make up for in your willingness to learn instead. When his dick is released from its confinements, it springs out freely, and you gasp at the sight in front of you. 
It’s large, bigger than you’ve ever seen. Your mouth and pussy both quiver with neediness and want. The tip is an angry red, swollen and desperate for some relief. You’re thankful for the little bit of lighting you have; otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to see the masterpiece before you.
It’s beautiful too; the head is smooth and round, but the shaft is ribbed and textured. It probably feels amazing during intercourse, and you can only hope he'll allow you to feel it inside of you. When your hand touches it, the first thing you feel is how warm it is. He’s burning up, and all you want to do is provide him with some comfort.
“You’re hot…” you state, stroking his cock with both of your tiny hands. Both of them only make up half his size, and you realize you have your work cut out for you. His precum seeps from his tip, and your tongue darts out to have a taste. The sticky substance makes your tongue tingle; it’s like a minty flavor hitting your taste buds, and it makes you moan for more. “Fuck…let me cool you off.”
If the demon wants you to use your powers, you might as well use them on him.
You use your abilities to make yourself exhale cold air instead of warm, and when you blow onto the demon’s member, he has to clutch the table to brace himself. One hand pumps whatever your mouth can’t reach, and the other caresses his balls, massaging them in your palm delicately for a bit of extra stimulation.
“What the…Goddamn it, slut. How are you doing this?” he says through gritted teeth. You hum around him, and his hips thrust upward, shoving his dick deep into your throat.  “FUCK!”
The demon can’t even control himself as he begins to take over. He grabs each side of your head, and your hands naturally fall to your sides to make room. He starts fucking your face mercilessly, and you have to quickly learn how to relax your mouth and take it. Your eyes stay glued to his face, admiring the way his expression contorts between neediness and dominance.
He’s ruining you, but he’s thrusting as if his life depends on it. He’s close; his cock is throbbing inside of your mouth. Gurgling and disgusting gagging noises can be heard through the quiet kitchen. Your cunt is dripping wet due to the obscene noises and the degrading words the demon is saying to you.
“Every hole you own is going to be leaking with my cum. I’m going to fill every single one of them, and you’re going to enjoy it, aren’t you?” You hum in agreement, and the demon growls when the vibrations travel up his shaft. “Fuck yeah, my little cum whore likes when I fill her up, doesn’t she?”
You give the same affirmative, and the creature grabs a fist full of your hair, locking you in place so he can destroy your throat as he pleases. His hips snap into you violently, making his pants drop to his ankles. Your tears and drool roll down his thick thighs, and your nails have to dig into his flesh to keep your balance. He’s fucking you ruthless, and the harder he goes, the more you enjoy it.
Without warning, the demon ruts into the back of your throat, stilling for only a moment before loads of his seed fill your mouth. He tastes so good, and you don’t even mind choking on the rich taste. A satisfied moan escapes you, but the blissfulness is short-lived.
“Get up!” He growls, pulling out abruptly and snatching you up. He bends you over the table and lifts your dress, dipping into your heat before you are even done gasping from the sudden intake of air. “Fucking hell, you are tight!” he groans, trying his best to give you time to adjust.
His cock is still thick, throbbing, and hard as a rock; your cunt quivers for it, and then he begins to move, slapping your ass to loosen you up a bit. You’re still struggling to take him, but as the rugged pattern along his shaft begins to move against your walls, your body slowly becomes addicted.
“Did that boy even fuck you, hm? Did he fill this pussy up like this? Or was this cunt too filthy for a pretty boy like him?” He asks, slapping your ass again. You cry in pleasure every time his hot palm comes crashing into your skin, leaving an area of scalded flesh behind. The pain strings initially but radiates pleasure through your whole body. “Answer me!”
“NO! Fuck! He didn’t…He couldn’t! He can’t fuck me like this!” you sob, gripping onto the counter for support.
The demon grabs your hair again and pulls you up so he can speak into your ear.
“No one can, slut!” He says in an impossibly deep voice. He pushes your head back onto the table and holds his hand there to keep you in place.
The beast toys with your back entrance, gathering your arousal to lubricate his fingers. The digits then travel to your rim, teasing and probing it before one slides into it. The next one soon follows, and you grit your teeth until the burning of the stretch subsides. The demon fucks you with both his fingers and his dick until he eventually pulls out of your pussy.
You whine but are told to shut up immediately. He spreads your ass cheeks and spits between them, lubricating you some more before he stretches your hole with his fingers. “I bet he never filled this hole either.” He chuckles darkly before shoving his cock into your rear.
Strong arms pull you up, and he quickly finds your clit, massaging it gently until you relax into his touch. He calls you a dirty bitch, and you become just that, eager to make him feel as good as he’s making you feel. Your back arches, and you grind back onto him, moaning from the feeling of being so full. The demon slaps your cunt with his hand repeatedly, and it only gives you the strength to continue.
“Look at you dripping from every single one of these tight cum buckets. You were made to take all this cum, weren’t you? Once I’m done filling up your ass, I’m going to see how much cum your pussy can take before your fucking belly swells, slut.”
His words have you clenching involuntarily, and your eyes roll back when his teeth bite your neck, surely leaving marks in his wake. You can hear him whispering ‘mine’ under his breath, but you’re too far gone to process it. “Fuck yourself on my dick if you want my cum then, whore.” He whispers in your ear.
You bend over and start circling your hips. The demon watches in astoundment as your ass bounces and jiggles every time you come crashing down on his cock. You get bold, courageous and begin talking back to him, giving your own dirty words of encouragement.
“You feel so fucking good.” You purr, looking back at him with lustful eyes.
“Yeah? Tell me about it. How good do I feel to you, baby?” he responds, and you hum.
“Mmhmm, you do. So fucking good…the best I’ve ever had. So big, so hard. Please fuck me back; I want you to use me like the little whore I am. I want your cum dripping out of me every time I move.” You beg the red-eyed demon.
“Shit!” he curses, grabbing your waist and plowing into you. Your moans turn into screams within seconds as a blinding white light clouds your vision. He grabs your wrists and pulls them behind you, using them to help him pound into you harder and faster.
You grit your teeth as the intense feeling washes over you. All you can hear is the demon’s sharp hisses as he releases his seed inside of you and the sound of your juices squirting all over the floor.
He flips you over at the speed of light and hoists you up on the kitchen counter, spreading your legs wide. He uses his cock to slap your center, prompting another wave of pleasure to hit you. You look down and watch both your arousals seeping onto the table as they leak from your spent holes.
His hot cum soothes your aching center; you whimper when his thumb grazes your sensitive swollen bud, and the tall, handsome devil kisses you softly. “You might be a dirty bitch, but you’re my dirty bitch.” He says, leaving hot wet kisses up your neck until he reaches your ear.
“I’ve wanted you since the night I saw you in those woods, but you weren’t ready for me then, and that was okay because good things come to those who wait, angel. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on…I want you in ways you haven’t even heard of, sweetheart.” He continues.
“You already have me, so do as you please.” You answer breathlessly.
“I have your soul, but I want more than that. You’ve given damn near everything to the pathetic creatures of this Earth when you could have given yourself to greatness. I know deep down you wanted to; you wanted me to come and take you away. I could feel your body yearning for me. Every time you were fucking him, you were thinking of me. At night, you’d toss and turn, wishing to hear my voice again, and unlike that sorry sack of shit, I was there.” The demon whispers.
“You were?” you gasp as his hand wraps snugly around your throat. He pulls away from your neck and applies more pressure, limiting your air supply for a few seconds before he slowly allows you to breathe again.
“Yes, I was. I’m always around when you need me. I always will be.” He tells you, and your heart skips a beat. You know he doesn’t mean it, and it’s only an act, but you allow yourself to bask in that feeling. This is as good as it’ll ever get for you.
You’re so turned on by the things he’s doing to you that you don’t realize how your fingers rub your clit absentmindedly until the demon curses.
 “Fuck, that’s sexy. Keep doing it.” He encourages, giving you a moment to breathe before the pressure is applied once more. “Just like that; don’t stop, okay.”
You try your best to nod or speak but can’t do your position. He aligns himself with your center, sliding in until he’s buried inside of you. You wince from the sensitivity, but the stimulation to your clit helps you fight through it. Your watch as the demon grabs the top of your dress and rip it apart, the second time he’s torn your clothes tonight. Although this time, he does the same to himself, releasing your neck from his grasp and tearing his own clothing off.
Your mouth falls open when his muscular frame comes into view, and he winks at you when he catches you ogling.
“Why serve a man when you could stand next to a king, angel?” he asks, pulling you closer and spreading your legs as wide as he can. “Are you going to be mine, hm? Are you going to let me in and allow me to show you how powerful you really are? You’re so good, so obedient…but I want you to for me, and only me. Can you do that?”
The demon pulls out and snaps back into you, the impact making your body jolt. Your fingers continue to make quick circles at you, bud. Your eyes squeeze shut as the urge to come approaches, but it’s swiftly ripped away when the demon uses his powers to grab your wrists and pin them to the wall behind you. He forces your eyes open and slams his fist into the hard countertop, breaking a piece of it without even flinching.
“KEEP YOUR FUCKING EYES ON ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU, WHORE!” he roars, shaking the entire house. Your eyes widen, and your walls tighten around him, the dominance of his voice turning you on even more. To your disadvantage, he stops fucking you, and your face pleads with him to keep going. “I asked you a question. If you want to get fucked like a slut then you answer it like one.” He growls while staring directly into your eyes, he’s so much larger and intimidating this close, but you don’t back down.
“Ruin me, Sir.” You whisper, and something sinister flashes in his eyes.
He lifts your legs and brings them behind your head, folding you up like the thinnest piece of paper. “Don’t squirm, don’t move, take my dick like it’s the only thing you know how to do. And don’t you dare come; hold it this time.”
You don’t even get the chance to reply because he’s ramming himself into you rapidly, leaving you breathless and gasping for air. His balls repeatedly smack your ass, adding to the pleasure. The demon’s words become more filthy with every passing second, and you should be ashamed of yourself for being aroused by it. You’re drooling, sobbing, and your juices are squelching and spilling everywhere. Every time the beast's hips part from yours, thick strings of sticky arousal are seen between you.
“You feel so good, so big!” You mewl, trying to hold off the feeling bubbling inside of you. You know he isn’t going to let you come, so you try your best to hold it off. The demon continues fucking you without an ounce of mercy, and you’re sure the entire village can hear your screams.
“You take me well, slut. I thought I’d rip you apart, but like a good little whore you opened up for me. Fuck, look at how this pussy swallows me up. I’m going to feed you so well; you’ll be stuffed for weeks…or maybe months.” He chuckles, bringing your legs down.
His hand slides up your stomach, stilling, and press firmly. You can see how his dick pounds deep into you, and the demon seems mesmerized with just how far he’s inside of you. His other hand comes up, and then both grab your waist. “I wonder how much cum this body can take before you’re nice, round, and pregnant.” He murmurs, picking up the pace.
“You wanna find out? Would you like to have my little demon seeds? Let me breed you and fill you up every night? Fuck, you’d look so sexy walking around all swollen and heavy for me. I’d fuck your pregnant cunt wide open and prepare you for the next one. Shit, you just got so fucking tight. You want that, don’t you? You want me to breed you?”
“Oh fuck! Yes, please! I want you to…please don’t stop! I need to come; I can’t–”
“You will! Because I told you to. You obey me. Understand?” he chides, and you try to nod but cannot move your head. He’s so deep, so far inside of you that you can only cry and moan in ecstasy.
It’s like nothing you ever felt before, and in this state, you’re just a puppet being pulled by its strings.
“Yes, I understand.” You sob. He leans forward and grabs your breast, sucking each one at a time while flicking your buds with his huge tongue. He releases you from his grasp and allows you to wrap your limbs around him.
The demon picks you up and walks you over to the table, laying you on your back carefully. He never loses his rhythm, and when you look up at him, he speaks. “I’m about to give it to you like no one ever has, but if it becomes too much, just tell me.”
You don’t understand why he’s being so nice, or he’s taking his time with you, but right now, it doesn’t even matter. You feel good, wanted, cared for, and that’s all you ever wanted.
“You wanted me to love you, right? Well, I’m about to try. I’m going to fuck you so good that you’ll forget your own name…the only name you’ll remember is mine.” He states, fucking you slow and deep.
“What is your name?” you rasp, nails digging into his back. He doesn’t even bat an eyelash as they penetrate his skin.
“I think you know that answer already…think about it. Think about who has you this wet, this hot, and who’s deeper than anyone has ever been. I’ve told you my name while you were dreaming of me eating you like my last meal; you just need to remember.” He says, grabbing your arms and pinning them down. “Let me show you something.”
You squirm beneath him, trying to escape the pressure his lower body has on your clit. He grinds himself into you, knowing good and well what kind of torture he’s administering. Your chest begins to burn where he branded you five years ago and when you look down, a symbol you’ve never seen before appears. “Tell me what that says; it’s the oldest language there is, but I’ve told you what that means…I think about it, baby, and when you give me the correct answer, I’ll let you make you come and fill you to the brim.”
You stare at the mysterious symbol, watching as it glows in the darkness. It burns, but you’re too blinded by hot pleasure for it to phase you. “Come on, baby. Say my name. Scream it, and let everyone know who you really belong to.” He coaxes, hips snapping into you, deliberately hitting your sweet spot.
Your mind struggles to focus when the only thing you can think about is chasing your high. “I’m trying…” you moan, and he latches onto your right nipple. Your back arches, and he releases it with a pop.
“Didn’t that feel good? I should do it to the other one, huh?” he suggests.
“No…” you gasp, wrapping your fingers around his. “I’ll come; I can’t take it.” You whine, voice hoarse and needy.
“Well, you better think fast.” He says before attacking your other breast. Your arousal begins to pool beneath you, and you shake your head in protest. You nearly lose hope, but when you look into his blood-red eyes, you suddenly remember everything, and his name flies from your mouth instantly.
“Namjoon!” you gasp, unknowingly unleashing the beast. He stiffens before his back muscles begin to contort. His body changes before your eyes, and when he raises his head, you see the demon’s true identity.
Your mouth opens in surprise, and Namjoon chuckles, throwing his head back.
“What’s the matter, angel? You scared now?” he teases.
You shake your head, asking him to let go of your wrist, and he does. He doesn’t believe you, especially when he notices how your hands shake as they come up to cup his face. Your fingers trace his rough exterior, thumb swiping the sharp end of his fangs. They travel to his body, large and twice your size. You admire his battle wounds and tattoos covering his body. You’d love to explore some more, but you know he’s waiting for you to speak.
“You can be yourself when you’re with me. You deserve to feel good too. I still want you…more than anything.” You answer truthfully, and you watch how his features soften.
You’re such an idiot. This whole time Namjoon has been trying to give you what you’ve been craving, but you denied him. In your dreams, if you cried, he’d hold you. When you wanted to give up, he persuaded you not to. No matter what you were going through, he was there. But only because you are his property and he doesn’t like damaged goods.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with a look of concern.
You push all the negative thoughts behind you and focus on your last night on Earth. He’s doing his part, so you have to do yours.
“Nothing.” You lie, giving your best smile. You bring him closer, hugging him tightly so he can’t see your tears. “Keep going.”
“But–”
“Namjoon, please just keep going. I need you to keep going.” You insist, urging him to move by circling your hips. The demon reluctantly complies, and soon you’re both panting and needing relief.
The table slides with each hard thrust of Namjoon’s hips and quickly moves you to the floor before it moves from under you and you fall. He flips you over, bringing your ass in the air and slapping it harshly.
“You don’t fucking listen! And I’m fucking sick of it!” he growls, pounding into you and making your eyes roll back. He grabs your hair and pulls you up, forcing you to look at him. “You’re going to do as I say, and when I tell you to cum, you better scream my name as loud as you can.”
You nod, and he proceeds. Honestly, you’re glad he decided to change the mood. Slow sex only produces feelings you can’t feel right now…not for him.
“It’s like the only time I can get through to you is when I’m using you like a whore. Now, this is my final time repeating this…You are fucking mine! You hear me? And I don’t want anyone weak. I’m going to bring the bitch out of you one way or another, and you’re going to watch me destroy the piece of shit and everyone else in that town. You’re a good girl for me, but I need you to be bad tonight, baby. I’m going to fuck you until you’re nice and swollen with my seed, and we’re going to go out and have some fun, then I’m going to take you home and fuck you some more. We good on that? Or are you still afraid of the big bad wolf, little girl? Those powers too much for you to handle, baby?”
His hand finds your neck again easily, and you suddenly are back to being the feral woman only the demon can drive out.
“Fuck, no.” You tell him, placing your hand on the back of his head and kissing him before he can say another word.
Your lips move together sloppily while he slams into your center. The sound of skin slapping feels the room, and you mewl into his mouth when the ridges of his cock slide over your g-spot. “Namjoon…” you whine, breaking the kiss.
“I know, angel.” He coos, finding your throbbing clit. His pace quickens, and he squeezes tighter around your throat. Your body feels lighter and lighter with every thrust, and when he slaps your sensitive bud, your body shivers. “Come, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Namjoon.” You whimper as your body shudders in his arms. The demon growls when your walls enclose around him, and his nails dig into your skin, causing tiny nicks along your neck.
“Shit!” he curses, barely able to move in and out of you due to the tightness of your cunt. His dick pulsates inside of you, and you know he’s also reached his orgasm when hot semen begins to fill your womb.
“Namjoon!” you cry into the night, and the demon can only grunt and howl your name as he continues to take you from behind. You squirt all over the floor…body trembling as you struggle to say upright. Namjoon keeps you up and helps you through it with words of praise. “Good job, angel. You’re amazing, so beautiful, and all mine. You were made for me.” He groans, still filling you up with loads of cum.
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After what seems like hours of being pumped with Namjoon’s seed, he finally brought you to your bedroom. He spoons you while his large hand rubs over your swollen belly as you lay in your bed. He tries his best to soothe your aching body, but being fucked senselessly by a demon isn’t easy to recover from. You feel so secure in his strong arms, and you wonder what you did to deserve this. You’re sure no one else has ever experienced a little extra time.
“Namjoon?” you call, and he answers, wiping away your stray tears. “Why do you call me angel when I’m everything but?”
“Because even though you’ve been to hell and back, you still find it in you to do good. It takes strength to be that way. You must be the light and the end of the darkness, the way I see it. That’s the way I felt when I first saw you.” He admits, resting his chin on top of your head.
It amazes you how Namjoon is so caring and kind when all he has to do is take you away now. Although, this may just be a trick to get you to trust him, and just when you’re vulnerable enough, he’ll sink his teeth in you. You can’t lie and say that a little part of you doesn’t want to believe him, though. Because deep down, you are a bit hopeful.
“You don’t have to pretend anymore. You can take me now; I won’t fight,” you assure, but the demon only sighs.
“I will, Y/N. Just…sleep first, and when you awake, I’ll do as I promised, okay.” He tells you.
Tired, with no strength to argue, you shut your eyes and allow yourself to slip off into sleep. You have no idea what tomorrow holds, but tonight you feel good, desired…loved. Someone is putting you first, and that someone isn’t human at all. It’s a demon. An evil entity that has shown you more compassion than any mortal ever has. You’ll stand beside him, loyal and willingly, serve him like no one ever has. You owe him that much; he’s given you everything you never had. And you will do the same.
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Namjoon stares at you in awe as he makes his way up the hill, your battered ex-lover crawling not too far behind. You look stunning, beautiful, your belly already growing with his unborn child. You can’t see or feel anything yet, but he can. Things are different with a demon offspring; the father will have a closer connection than the mother, but he won’t dare fill its brain with evil thoughts. No, he wants better for his child, better than the both of you have ever had.  
He wants to say that he wishes he’d met you before this scum behind him did, but Namjoon was horrible back then. He would have destroyed you in more ways than one and still snatched your soul for the keeping. The demon’s been around for a very long time and didn’t acquire his status in the pit by playing the nice guy. Namjoon has done enough damage over the centuries and would like to fix something for a change—starting with you. 
His angel with the broken wings.
He’ll fix them and give them a new look if it’s the last thing he does; then, you’ll live the rest of your life here on Earth. He doesn’t want your soul; he never has. It’s always been you who he’s wanted; he just didn’t understand why until you spoke to him about wanting to be loved. He started feeling things he didn’t know he could feel.
You are a kind and caring person; how can no one here see that? The things you do for others don’t match what they do for you. Even when you were about to be dragged to hell, you found time to stop and show pity to a wild animal. And all while running for your life, you still were concerned for the beast. He’s intrigued by your selflessness. But Namjoon can no longer stand to see you hurting; he wants to make you as happy as you make him when he sees you caring for those withered plants and sickly mortals.
You opened a heart he didn’t know he had, and he knew that night that he had fallen for you. And no matter what he does to show you, you always dismiss the fact. You don’t believe him; you don’t believe that anyone else can love you other than the man who showed you he didn’t care. The amount of rage that Namjoon showed earlier wasn’t directed towards you; it was meant for the coward trailing behind him.
It pisses Namjoon off, and he wants nothing more than to drag the bastard to the darkest chamber and make him pay. But it is not his place, and he must allow you to fight your own battles. He can’t decide for you, but he can support you.
Which is why he set the whole town into flames, with your permission of course. However, you did have one request that was hard to fulfill. “Leave him alive” is what you told Namjoon, and reluctantly he complied. That is the only reason he’d be caught dragging a piece of shit up a hill—you. He’d do anything for you.
You’re his pride and joy; the only love he’s ever had. Namjoon knows you’ll need time, and he’ll give you as much as you need. He knows you want to be by his side; even now your body is begging for his touch, but your heart is trapped in the grasp of the one who you loved before, and Namjoon is confident you have the strength to take it back. So yeah, he’ll leave the son of bitch alive for a little bit longer.
“He’s all yours, angel.” Namjoon calls out as he approaches you. He stands in front of you, observing your features, only because he just can’t get enough of being in your presence. “I’ll be standing right over here if you need me.” He whispers, kissing your cheek.
When the bloodied face of your past lover appears, you gasp loudly, your hand clutching your chest. Namjoon scoffs. “You said to bring him up here alive. I didn’t hear you say I couldn’t have a little fun on the way.” He chuckles, and you just stare at him for a moment. You look so angelic standing before him, and the flames from the burning town below highlights your beauty well. “You have five minutes with him, dear. We have somewhere to be after this.”
You turn your attention to the bruised and beaten man in front of you. He’s kneeling before you as he fucking should be. Namjoon made sure of it when he broke his legs. The demon watches as your hands come out to touch his face, and when he calls your name, a small sob escapes your lips.
“You don’t deserve this.” You cry as the tears begin to flow. Namjoon bites his tongue the best he can. How are you still able to show pity after you’ve been stepped on for so long? This isn’t the process of moving on; it’s stupidity. “I need to fix this. I’ve been hurting for too long.”
When he overhears those words, he fears the worst. You're pregnant with his child, and you’re about to give yourself to another man. You’re denying his love, but still chasing after something that isn’t real? The demon panics; he needs to express his feelings before it’s too late. If it’s not already too late. 
Maybe if he pours it all out right now it’ll make you see how much he cares, but just as he marches towards you, he sees you lean in, your lips centimeters away from the man’s face. However, instead of kissing him, you mumble something that even the demon can’t hear.
After that moment, where time seems to stop for Namjoon, you simply walk away like nothing happened, leaving the demon puzzled and confused.
“I’m ready now, Namjoon. We can go.” You inform, stepping beside him. Namjoon grabs your arm and makes you look at him, wanting answers for what just transpired. But before he can get a response, he hears the man calling out for you.
“Y/N?....Y/N!! My love? Where are you?... I need you. I love you.”
When you hear those words, you spin around angrily. Namjoon tries to stop you, but you’re too quick. “Angel, think about the baby!” he reminds you, but you ignore him. You approach your ex-lover, and he grovels, clutching onto your leg. Namjoon moves to intervene and tell him not to touch you, but you hold up your hand.
“Baby, I can’t live without you. Please…don’t go. I love you so much.” The blood-drenched male cries.
“Well, that’s–too–fucking–bad.” You reply through gritted teeth, and Namjoon smiles happily for the first time in who knows when.
You lift your dress and kick the man who broke your heart right in his gut, sending him rolling down the hill, calling out for you in vain. A satisfied smirk graces the demon’s face; now, he can focus on making you happy and treating you like you deserve to be treated. His heartfelt confession will come later, when he’s ready. He only needs to gather the right words.
“That wasn’t the punishment I had in mind, but that was beautiful, angel.” Namjoon compliments and applauds.
You shrug. “If I have to rot and waste away, then so does he. It’s only fair, right?”
The demon sighs yet again and grabs your hand, kissing it softly before speaking.
“Baby, I’ve told you countless times that I’m not about to take you to hell, especially right now.” Namjoon explains for the thousandth time. It’s frustrating how you refuse to believe him.
“And I told you that you don’t have to pretend that you love me anymore. I’ve accepted my fate.” You argue.
Namjoon can only look into your dark brown irises and allow you to believe what you want for the time being. His own tears begin to shed when he thinks about the road ahead of you. You aren’t the only one who needs some work, so does he. 
He’s prepared to do whatever it takes to make your relationship as healthy as it can be. You’ll all be happy; he’ll make sure of it. You and his child are his world, and he’ll protect you at all costs. No matter what, he’s going to make you happy. You deserve it.
He can’t promise you an afterlife in heaven, but he can treat you like a queen during your time on Earth and actually make you one when you join him in hell. But the demon needs to earn your trust first and he’s more than willing to do so.
“I’m not pretending, angel. And I’ll prove it.” He assures, opening another portal in the Earth. You look at him questionably, and Namjoon explains. “I’m going to take you somewhere, and I know you’ll love it. Trust me.” He promises, guiding you to the opening.
“Thank you for all of this, Namjoon. It really means a lot to me.” You say, still not believing the demon’s promises of paradise.
Instead of arguing, Namjoon turns to you and smiles. “Anything to keep you shining brightly, my little light.” He jokes, making you giggle, and it’s the sweetest thing Namjoon ever heard. That was his first time hearing you laugh, and it warms his heart. He’d like to hear it some more when you get to where you’re going.  “Are you ready to go, angel?”
When you nod, the demon holds your hand securely and proceeds to enter the pit of darkness with you in tow. You clutch onto him in fear as he jumps inside, expecting an eternity of pain and suffering. But what is really lying on the other side is a life of peace and happiness for you. Along with an entire world waiting for you to discover it, just as Namjoon promised.
You no longer have to search for love...love has found you.
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  Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this story please consider liking, reblogging or leaving feedback. Also, feel free check out my masterlist, here.
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taesinferno · a month ago
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>> THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY WHORE : DILF!NAMJOON
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✦ SUMMARY your boyfriend's family buys you a car for your birthday. how generous!
✦ PAIRING married dilf!namjoon × younger(legal)!reader
✦ WARNINGS 18+, infidelity, age gap, unprotected penetrative sex, daddy kink, kinda corruption kink (if u squint), size kink, car sex (unprotected), oral f!recieving, clit slaps, unedited
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♡ prev
"Daddy!"
You coo, throwing yourself onto the spanking new car that shone in the light. "It's beautiful! Is it really mine?"
"Of course, sweetheart." He engulfed you in his big arms, pulling you into his side with a kiss on your forehead. "All yours. Baby needs a new ride if you're gonna get around easy."
Your eyes shone with admiration and wonderment as you stared up at him, squealing and throwing your arms around his neck and chanting 'thank you!!"
Your birthday present sat with a giant bow in his garage. Your own boyfriend hadn't even matched his father's level of gift-giving. It was clear by the way he haphazardly threw together a few candles and a generic card that he'd forgotten your birthday until his own father reminded him. Subtly, of course. Namjoon must've mentioned something about how your birthday, his girlfriend of three years, was coming up and Gaeul's empty head clicked. Running to the store after breakfast and into the first store he saw at the mall. He wasn't even going to take you out to dinner tonight until you had hinted very hard at a new restaurant you'd wanted to try.
Namjoon, noticing the dilemma, being the extremely attentive man he was, immediately relayed his concerns to his wife. Clicking his jaw at their son, and feigning pity about "oh, poor girl. puts up with gaeul and he wont even get her a proper present." His wife was quick to jump to their son's defense. Of course. Noting that you should be so lucky to be with a boy like her son. But she couldn't deny the lack of consideration and romantic treatment you were shown. She turned her nose up and made a few comments about your social status when Namjoon suggested that the whole family get you a present. A car no less. But she begrudgingly agreed in the end. She wasn't going to argue with her husband over such trivial matters, such as a poor girl's transportation means. If he wanted to buy you a car, let him. Maybe then you'd drive somewhere far away and leave her darling son to someone worthy.
For all the lack of attention and care from Gaeul, you still loved him. You knew he didn't do it on purpose. It was just a side effect of being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. And you accepted him like that, just as he accepted you. He was kind when he needed to be, always offering to drive and pick you up whenever you needed. At your beck and call when you got off work, or had to run to a store across town. Your dependency on his chaffeuring you around one of the reasons Namjoon thought to get you your own car in the first place.
Of course, when his father ran the idea by Gaeul, he was all for it. Not a single doubt in his head as his dad, once again, sweeped in to clean up his mess.
You sent a quick text to Gaeul, knowing he wouldn't respond for a few hours until it was time for your dinner date as he was currently occupied with "the championships, babe! we've been planning this for months!"
"On my birthday, Gaeul?! You know I'd want to spend the day with you!"
"It'll only be a few hours. I promise. Then I'm all yours." Nevermind what you wanted.
His mother was at the salon, or some high-end restaurant with her friends, or someplace where she could avoid the whole gift-giving of your brand new car. Though it was technically from the whole family, she had nothing to do with it, and she wanted you to know it.
"Wanna look inside?" Namjoon offered, opening the door for you look inside. Your eyes were wide with excitement as you took the interiors. It was everything you'd ever dreamed of.
You threw yourself onto Namjoon as soon as you turned around, finding his mouth instantly to show your gratitude. He leaned you against the open car as he returned your fervor. "You deserve it, baby."
"Mm, what else do I deserve?" Your giggled surreptitiously as you backed into the passenger seat of the car, carefully unzipping your shorts and discarding them. Namjoon's sharp eyes followed your every move, large imposing figure towering over you and your car with a hungry gaze as you exposed your glistening cunt. "Let me help you break in the new car."
You squeaked as he tackled you back into the console, lifting your legs up to rest one on the open car door and one on the other side. "It's your birthday, but I'm getting the treat." He shone his canines at you before diving into your pussy, lewdly licking and slurping at your core.
"' know you're not cumming tonight, so here's one more gift." You whined and tugged at his hair as he ate you out, somehow fitting his whole body in between your legs. He had you spread out all across your new car, ready to be fucked in it. How else were you going to break it in?
Namjoon latched onto your clit vivaciously, humming with the slight desperate movements of your hips into his mouth. You tasted so sweet. And if he were a better man, he wouldn't notice that younger pussy was better than anything his wife ever offered him. Maybe that's why he hadn't touched her properly in years. But was on his knees in the garage for you. At your beck and call, though his older knees weren't taking too well to the cold concrete. If he were a better man, he would repent and abstain from you, for both your sakes. Too bad he wasn't.
He thumbed at your clit as he stood, holding back just enough to have you mewling and wriggling under his touch. "Ready, princess?" He lined his cock up with your entrance. You watched the way he stood up, slightly wobbling as he gripped the car door for balance. And for the first time found yourself wondering just how old he really was. Was it too much for him? Would he be okay?
Those thoughts flew out of your mind when he pushed in, his thick cock bullying its way into your tight hole. Another benefit of fucking younger girls, he thought crudely. Your walls quivering around him as he thrust into your hole. Every worry you had being replaced with pure pleasure and dumbification as he fucked ruthlessly into you. Your head leaning back against the console, Namjoon large and imposing, trapping you in the small space with his giant body as he shoved his cock in where he could fit it. He seemed even bigger with his head thrown back as he grunted animalistically. The sight of your smaller figure, at his mercy. Cute little cunt being abused and toyed with. By an older man. Just how you liked it. How you needed it.
"Say my name, princess." He landed a few quick slaps to your clit, tapping it lightly before delivering harsher strikes. "Who's making you feel this good? Is it Gaeul?"
"G-Gae--who? Daddy, it's you. Only you." You're sobbing, mind in a haze, on the verge of teetering over the edge and he was talking about something... You don't even know. You forgot your own name. All you knew was Daddy. Brainless cockslut whore as he fucked into you so brutally he sent you into another plane of existence.
Namjoon's heart swelled at the sight. His son's little girlfriend. Such a sweet thing. Being fucked properly, the way you deserved, on your birthday. He buried his face into the valley of your perky tits as you clenched tightly around him, noticing how much nicer they were than his wife's. (Heck, he noticed that the first moment he'd met you) Pulling you and holding you close as your clutched him like a baby koala. "Happy birthday, princess."
You sniffed as you came down from your high, slowly detaching yourself from his body, sweat making it stickier. You slid down the side of the car, down onto your knees. Holding your breasts together, you looked up at him with big, watery eyes. Tears from being fucked so good. Ready to take whatever he gave you. "Thank you, daddy."
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dreamescapeswriting · a month ago
Text
Hen (I) Do ~ KNJ [M] [Request]
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WORD COUNT: 22.7K
PAIRING: Namjoon x reader
GENRE: Non idol, smut, fake engagement, tiktok inspired, did start as a drabble and then….whoopsies it turned into a 22.7K fic hehe, strangers to lovers, happy ending, fluffy.
SMUT WARNINGS: Thigh riding, teasing, sexual tension, public sex, face riding, oral (both m/f recieving) pool teasing, ruined orgasms, creampie, possiessive, talks of “mine” “who owns you”
A/N: Hen Do - Bachelorette party 
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The whole restaurant was empty besides your table and yet it felt as though it was completely full. The girls you were all with seemed to be making enough noise for a crowd full of people, despite there only being seven of you in the place. It was so loud you could barely decide who was saying what and what on earth they were talking about. 
Jae-ah was sitting closest to you, the whole reason you were sitting in a restaurant in Vegas in the first place. She had been one of your best friends since middle school and it was finally almost time for her to get married.
You could practically see the excitement bouncing off of her body as she sat there sipping on her wine. There was something bothering her though but you didn't know what. All afternoon she had been avoiding telling you something and you wanted to find out what it was. It was her party week, after all, she was supposed to be the happiest person in vegas.
Watching her closely you tried to sense what it was that was bothering her but she just flicked her long brown hair over her shoulder and turned to look at you. Flashing that giant perfect smile at you as she realised you had been staring at her. 
She had flown you and most of her family out from Seoul to come to Vegas for her wedding. A week-long partying session for the bride and groom's side of the wedding. Each side wanting to outdo the other and although you had been maid of honour you weren't in charge of a single thing. Jae-Ah had insisted on taking charge of this so that she could plan everything out for everyone else to enjoy.
"Cheer up babe, this is meant to be fun." She teased you as she poured the both of you a glass of champagne. Nudging your side playfully as she noticed you weren't being as overly excited as everyone else. 
You wanted to be as happy as she was about all of this but you couldn't. All this was doing was setting into your mind how single you were. Reminding you that while all of your friends were going out and getting married. You were still trying to progress in life and lived in a small apartment in Seoul.
Jae-Ah had always been ahead on things though, she was the first to graduate college, the first to get a job and now the first to get married. You were happy for her, extremely happy and proud of how far your friend had come but this just set your mind into overdrive. 
"Come on," Jae-Ah handed you one of the sashes everyone was wearing only yours was different. It was "Maid of honour," written in black ink on the front of it. Bright pink to make it stand out in a crowd. As if the fake crowns and penis straws weren't enough to say that this was a hen party.
A whole week of spending time with married or to-be-married friends was supposed to be fun but you couldn't help but dread what was to come. 
"Here! I propose an idea!" Everyone turned to look at Jae-ah as she stood up at the table, tapping a fork against her glass softly as she gained everyone's attention. Each of the girls turned to look at her, smiling just as big as the next.
"I can't do all of my hen party, I have emergencies I need to attend to," Jae-ah explained as she looked down at you, smirking a little. You hated that smirk, that was the smirk she used whenever she was planning something in that evil brain of hers.
"So I say we have a fake hen-do...For you," She looked at you and then all eyes turned to look at you. Rose and Jihyo exchanging a smirk while nodding their heads. It would be the perfect opportunity for you to get out there and have some fun.
"For me? A fake hen-do?" You practically coughed the champagne back into the glass as you stared at Jae. What was she even thinking? How could any of this sound fun when it wasn't you that was really getting married? All of this was supposed to be for her.
"Sure! It'll be fun!" She yelled out, the other girls all agreeing with her. Practically begging for you to do it. This was going to be their chance to finally let loose and have fun in a whole other country. If Jae-ah didn't do it and you wouldn't, you guys would be bored for the week.
"I can't do it because we have every emergency happening with the wedding. So why waste a perfectly good week on something I can't do?" Her eyes were beginning to tear up as she used the puppy look on you. The one thing you could never say no to whenever she did it.
"I'll do it if Y/n doesn't want to!" Lia yelled as she blushed a little, realising how needy she sounded. But Lia hadn't gotten a hen-do when she got married. Mostly because it was a shotgun wedding and she wasn't allowed to drink.
"No. Y/n will do it," Jae-ah glared at the friend playfully and looked back at you. Clearly wanting you to do this because she didn't want you to be bored. At least this way you could experience the fun first person. Everything that was supposed to be the best thing in Vegas. This must have been the thing playing on Jae-ah's mind all day.
"You can take my place! You can do all of the partying for me," She laughed as she sat back down and squeezed your hand softly. 
"You know I hate clubs anyway," She whispered in your ear so that no one else could hear, kissing your cheek softly as she looked back at you. It was obvious that she really wanted you to do this for her and who knows? It could be fun.
"Y/n everything is booked, just...As my maid of honour...Do this for me?" You scoffed as she pulled out the maid of honour card. The one thing she had been using against you since the moment she got engaged.
"You can't play that card!" You cried out as you shook your head. 
"I just did," You sighed, rolled your eyes before finally agreeing to do it.
"Fine"
"YES! The party is on!" Lia screamed out as she began clapping her hands together, downing the glass of wine in front of her.
"We can go shopping tomorrow morning! Find you some dresses, some new sashes! We should find some fake ring too!" Rose yelled out excitedly as she got up from her chair and began clapping her hands together, ordering some more food for you all. They all seemed more excited about this than Jae-ah having the party. 
"We can get strippers, we can do whatever you want...It'll be fun!" Rose sounded like she was trying to convince you even though you had agreed so you nodded.
What was the big deal? Letting your hair down while you were in vegas didn't seem like a big deal. It wasn't as if you knew anybody there. No one was going to know it wasn't your wedding party.
No one knew you. 
It was going to be perfect.
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The next night you were ready to go through with it, spending most of the day trying to hype yourself up in your own head.
"First things first, we're going to need a name," Lia said as you walked through the streets towards where most of the clubs were. Glancing at her you frowned a little. Why wouldn't you just use the names already on lists?
"We can just use Jae-ah and Josh?" You suggested but she shook her head, that was going to be boring. You at least needed to use your name for this. That and the girls wanted this to be a brand new thing, you needed a new fiancé and a new life. A whole new story made up for your imaginary wedding. 
"We put a bunch into a generator we thought would be a good fit for you," Rose said as she began straightening her dress out. It was a bright red dress that honestly clung to her tiny body perfectly. It went along well with her blonde hair which she had been pulling off the dress. 
All of them were dressed up to the heavens looking as though they had stepped out of a fashion magazine. Meanwhile, you were wearing a white knee-length dress because they wanted you to stand out. Each of you had your fake tiara's one with your sashes Jae-ah had given to you all. You, of course, wearing the bride-to-be one.
"This is going to be fun, they have no idea who you are they're not going to care," Yiren reassured you as she could see just how unsure you were about all of this. All morning long you had been debating giving the opportunity to Lia but you stuck it out. Convincing yourself that what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.
"Fine, gimmie the app." You mumbled as Jihyo passed you her phone, sliding onto the app you pushed spin. Watching as a small animated wheel began to spin and tell you who your "husband" was going to be. You wondered if you were going to have to come up with some fake story as to where he was. The girls had already decided that for you, your fiancé was going to be out with his friends doing his own partying. There was no reason for someone not to believe you. Both bridal parties having separate parties wasn't unheard of. 
"Namjoon." You breathed out as you looked at the screen. Humming a little at the sound of his name. It sounded like someone you would meet in a museum back home, someone sweet and kind. 
"Sounds cute and smart...I like it," The girls laughed softly before heading toward the bars. All of you on the hunt for a well-needed drink after the long morning of shopping you all had. Meanwhile, you needed a drink to unwind a little and get into the role of a bride-to-be.
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"Hey! Y/n!" You glanced over your shoulder as you saw Lisa walking towards you. She had a giant smirked plastered across her face but you turned back to watch Rose who downed her shot and your own.
"Meet your husband," Lisa called out as she pushed a shy looking guy out in front of you and you smiled at him. It had only been a matter of time before the girls had gone looking for someone to play the role. 
The man in front of you was taller than you and extremely handsome. It was a wonder they had even convinced him to get involved with all of this. Sporting black jeans with a white dress shirt, he matched it all together with a blue denim jacket. 
"Hi, you're roped into this too?" You questioned as you ordered you both some drinks and smiled up at him. At least he didn't seem like a complete creep. Lia had brought a guy over who began grabbing you all inappropriately. Lisa had quickly put him back in his place by giving him a slap across the cheek.
"Yeah, my friends said it would be fun." He explained as he thanked you for the drink, taking it with him as you both began to head over to your seats inside of the club. 
You wondered how you could hear him so clearly over the blasting music and yelling of people around you. The club was practically crammed with people but luckily you guys had a VIP section to go and sit inside of. 
"What about you?" He questioned as he stood just outside the seating section. Waiting for you to lead the way in.
"My friend Jae-ah was supposed to be the one doing this. It's her wedding next week but she had an emergency come up." You weren't going to go into details with him about everything. He was only there for the partying after all, he didn't need a full life story.
"Ah, at least you guys can still have all of the fun though, saves it all going to waste." You smiled before moving the small velvet rope and climbing up one step into the white seated area. There was four sofa's surrounding a glass coffee table. Covered in empty glasses and spilt drinks. 
"We have a week of plans! We have cute things to do as well as a lot of fun!" Lia cried out as you all sat down together, placing your drinks down onto the table and smiling at Lia. She had almost gone all out on making sure you had a lot to do while you were there. Wanting you to experience everything that you could. 
In her words she "wasn't sure you would ever get to do the real thing," so this was going to be worth the while.
"We have a full night of partying and tomorrow..." Yiren reached into her clutch bag and pulled out a small box. While you all had been looking at dresses she found something a lot better. Something that would bring a lot of fun into the evenings for you.
"I found these while we were shopping," She began showing you different cards while you read the box. "Big-box if Vegas Dares,"
"Vegas dares?" You questioned, a little hesitant as to where she could have picked them up and what they could have been. She nodded at you and pulled out a random card to show it to you.
"Some of them are cute, like taking photos in front of landmarks, going for a romantic meal. It'll be fun if you're both okay with it." She showed you the card she had pulled, "Go for a couples massage,". Nothing seemed as though it was going to be too extreme so you looked up at your fake fiancé. Exchanging a look with him you raised your eyebrows. Everything had to be okay with him too, you weren't going to pressure some dude on his holiday into this. He nods his head at you, he saw nothing wrong with any of this. It was all going to be some kind of harmless fun and you seemed pretty nice about everything.
"I'm down if you are, I didn't have much planned," He told you as he looked at you and to his drink. What could be better than spending his time with someone so beautiful and nice? 
"I've got nothing better to do," He chuckled as he took out his phone to let his friends know what he was going to be doing that week. Texting them that he had plans figured out for himself instead of tagging along with them.
"We should do some tonight!" Rose yelled, a little drunk from the wine and shots she had been taking most of the night. Out of all of the girls you had no idea she would be the one to get almost completely toasted on the first night. She was going to be a nightmare in the morning.
"We should?" You looked at Rose and to your fiancé who seemed to be blushing a little at the thought of doing a dare right away. 
"What shall we do for the night?" You questioned sensing that there was something bothering him with doing dares right away. Neither of you knew each other enough to jump right into anything right now, especially since everyone had been drinking.
"I think we have to establish our fake relationship. Come up with a story in case people ask questions." Rose scoffed out that the idea of it was boring and you shook your head at her before turning to your fiancé and nodding. 
"That's a good idea, tomorrow we can do all of the dares we want." You nodded in agreement, sipping on the glass of wine in front of you. 
Together you and your fiancé seemed to be the soberest out of everyone with you so you sat closer to him. Wanting to speak to him as much as you could since you were going to spend time together. You were going to have to get to know one another at some point.
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"We were high school lovers?" You questioned as you looked to your fiancé who nodded his head. Sipping his drink before shrugging his shoulders, his story idea was that you had been sweethearts your whole life. 
"Sure! I mean it's a classic one, no one has to know any different." He explained as you nodded along with him watching in horror as Rose got up to go and pole dance with some of the other dancers. She had been telling you she was going to do it and now she was. Lia followed after her, camera at the ready since she was never going to remember it the next day.
"We can just make it up as we go along, but there's a problem." Your fiancé explained as he looked down at your hand, it was completely ringless.
"You don't have a ring," You gasped before reaching in your clutch to pull out the fake diamond ring you had gotten earlier that morning. Something you had gotten from a random party store you had all been in that morning,
"Mina picked it out," You laughed turning it over to show him the plastic band that held the fake diamond. Although it was completely fake it looked real in the low lighting which was going to work in your favour.
"Looks almost real." He laughed as he shook his head at you, holding the ring up to his eyes so he could see it better. That was when it hit him, neither of you had introduced yourselves to one another since meeting him and he wanted to know your name,
"My name! By the way, is-" A hand covered his mouth as Yiren began shaking her head. Tutting at the both of you as she slurred over her words,
"No! No names! You're Namjoon and she's Y/n." You laughed a little remembering the name and looking to your fiancé. The fake name kind of suited him to be honest so you smiled and held out your hand. 
"Namjoon, it's a pleasure to be engaged to you." You laughed softly as he did too. Namjoon couldn't believe that you had randomly picked his name out of a generator and that it was actually his name. It almost felt like fate.
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The two of you had enough of the loud music and screaming so you began walking back to your hotel together. There you found out you were staying in the same hotel only a floor away from each other. Stepping into the elevator you pushed your floor and glanced to Namjoon.
"So what brings you to vegas?" You quizzed as you stood in the elevator together, watching the numbers as you rode up. It was finally quiet enough now so you could have a decent conversation with him without screaming at one another.
"Work break but it seems as though all my friends want to do is gamble away their payday...I'm more of casual drinks and maybe seeing the sights." You laughed softly and nodded your head in agreement. The idea of going out to get smashed every night wasn't exactly your idea of a good time either.
"Me too! I had planned to go sightseeing all week long but it looks like it's fake fiance fun now," Namjoon shook his head at you. The two of you could still do all of the things you wanted to but with one another, it wasn't as though it would be the end of the world. 
Namjoon thought it would be rather nice to have someone by his side while he did all of the "boring" stuff his friends didn't want to do.
"We can still sight-see...We can go as fiancé's and see just how far we can push the free stuff," Smirking at him you nodded liking the way his mind worked. If people thought you were recently engaged and acted all cute with one another the free stuff would never stop coming.
"I like the way you think," You winked as you got to your floor, both of you stepping out and wandering in the direction of your door. 
"You sure your friends will be okay?" He questioned when he remembered they were still out partying. You thought back on the last time you saw them, Mina had begun sobering up since she hated going to bed drunk.
"I'm positive. Mina will never let them get too drunk." You laughed softly as you unlocked the door to your room, looking back at him to go over plans for the next day. 
"I'll meet you in the lobby? Tomorrow morning?" You nodded at him, genuinely feeling excited about going out to see him again tomorrow. There was a fluttering in your chest at the prospect of going out to have fun with someone you'd never known before.
"Sure, I'll meet you with some breakfast around 10?" He nodded at you this time as you glanced at the time. 10 seemed reasonable since it was almost 1 am now. 
"Bring the cards, we can see what we can get up to," He told you as you remembered the cards the girls insisted on you taking home with you. Smiling and nodding at him you disappeared into your room leaning against the door as you grinned to yourself. This had been the most you smiled in the longest time but you couldn't help it, you felt as though you were genuinely having fun.
This trip was going to be more fun than you had imagined. With a handsome new fiancé joining you. 
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The next morning you made sure to be down in the lobby for 10. You'd been woken up by rose at 4 that morning when the girls all stumbled inside. You got up to help them get into bed before crashing on the sofa in your room.
"Here," Namjoon said as he walked over to you, carrying two take-out cups and a bag. Breakfast had been running early and you missed out on getting you both something so he did it for you. He was dressed in some black sweats with a plain white t-shirt and the same jacket as the night before. 
"Lifesaver," You mumbled before eating the bagel he'd gotten for you and began walking toward the exit. Even in the morning light, Namjoon was still handsome to you, you had no idea why he would have agreed to something like this. With someone, he barely knew.
"What's the plan?" You questioned as you threw the rubbish from your food into the bin and glanced to Namjoon who stood just outside the doors of the hotel. Looking around as he tried to come up with something that you could do for the day. 
"I say we pick a dare...Start the morning off right." Namjoon said as he looked at the box you had in your bag. You smiled taking it out before randomly pulling out a card and hoping it wasn't some obscene card that had been put into the box. 
"Take pictures in front of landmarks." Namjoon read as you pulled it from the box, humming as you thought about what was around your hotel. There were a few landmarks around and close to you so you could get those done.
"I think we're pretty close to the strip and high roller." You announced as you began walking down the street to where you believed the direction was. You were just following street signs everywhere,
"We can cab around to all the other places too," Namjoon suggested as he walked side by side with you. Watching the way your brows would furrow together whenever you looked at a street sign or were trying to find your way around.
"Did you get some decent sleep?" You asked as you began walking in the direction of the High Roller, remembering that his friends had gone out the night before as well. 
"Jimin and Taehyung came back early and I ended up switching rooms when Jungkook came in." He laughed softly as he remembered Jungkook coming into the room slurring and stumbling all over the room. 
"Why?" You laughed softly as you turned to look up at him. Namjoon sighed before shaking his head. Jungkook was one of the worst drunks in the world, all he would do was laugh and speak all night.
"He was drunk, I didn't want to be woken up when I had something exciting to do today," Raising your eyebrows you looked at him wondering what was exciting for him.
"I'm the something exciting?" You teased playfully as you began to wait in line for the ride. Looking up at him and smiling, for some reason it sent a flutter in your heart to hear you were something exciting for him. 
"More exciting than staying in our room to read alone or going to do all of this alone." You smiled as you stepped up towards the till. 
"Are they all hungover?" You questioned as you looked up at him, he paid for the ride and smiled at you. There was no way he was going to let you pay for yourself.
"Very much, how about the girls?" He raised his eyebrows and chuckled softly. Your thoughts instantly went back to the night before when you had been helping the girls.
"The last I saw of Rose she was throwing up in the toilet, Lia was passed out on top of Yiren and Mina was doing her nails." Laughing together as you got into one of the carriages you shook your head. It was super spacious and empty thanks to it being pretty early in the morning. For las vegas at least. No one was around besides a few old couples that weren't interested in the High Roller.
The doors shut and you looked at Namjoon, remembering what he had been saying what his day would have been filled with.
"What would you have been reading?" He chuckled before looking into his side bag pulling out a copy of "IQ84," You smiled, it had been something you'd wanted to read for ages. On the top of your "to buy" list.
"It's on my to-buy list," Namjoon smiled brightly, he never would have taken you for the reading type.
"You read too? That's great, maybe we can hit up some book shops on our way back to the hotel." You agreed and turned to look out of the windows at the huge view of Vegas. 
The view was breathtakingly beautiful as you stared out at everything through the window. It was almost unbelievable that you were doing this right now.
To think you would have been locked up in the hotel room all day. This was so much better. Everyone looked so tiny from up on the ride. 
"Would you come here if it wasn't for the girls?" Namjoon asked referring to being here in Vegas.
"Would you come here if it wasn't for the boys?" You countered as you sat down on some of the seats. Shrugging your shoulders as you thought on it, Vegas was never something you had thought about before.
"I'm not sure...I mean...I love Jae-ah but partying and all of this isn't my thing. Even back home."
"Home?" Namjoon knew nothing about you and you knew nothing about him. It wasn't as though you had time to speak about anything important the night before even then, Yerin wanted you to keep it all a mystery.
"I live in Seoul, I teach English in one of the schools to kids," Smiling to himself Nmajoon deciding to hold back that he was from Seoul too.
"What do you do?" You questioned noticing him smiling so much about the mention of you being a teacher.
"I'm a music teacher, I teach kids how to produce music or write songs..." Everything he did sounded interesting to you. A music teacher who came to Vegas to sight-see? Almost too good to be true.
"Do you write your own?" You questioned as he sat down beside you. Watching the way you looked out of the window and then turned back to him.
"I do,"
"Can I hear some?" You questioned as he shook his head at you over and over again.
"Never," He chuckled as the ride began to move again. He didn't want his personal music to be heard by people yet, all of it was stored up on his laptop. Never to be seen by anyone.
"Quick, we need a photo." He stood you in front of the glass window and told you to pose. Laughing as you began to pull funny faces at the camera while he snapped photos.
"Arm up with one hand on your hip?" He questioned as he snapped a bunch of photos on your phone and then his own,
"Your turn." You whined so you could switch places getting photos of him against the wall in different poses.
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Dragging him by the hand you laughed as you headed towards the fountains of Bellagio. Something that was always splashed all over social media for years, everyone you knew who had been to Vegas had the generic photograph.
"One thing I've always wanted." He looked at you wondering what you were doing when you suddenly took him by the hand and began walking to the railings.
"A generic photo of me against the walls of the fountain, with the water behind us." You laughed looking around for someone who could take a photo of the two of you together. Finding someone and asking them sweetly. All-day long you had been getting people to take your photo together since the dare was supposed to be for the two of you but none of it felt forced. The day flowed naturally between you and you didn't feel as though you didn't know Namjoon. Everything felt good.
Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist and smiled into the camera, the two of you looking like a happy couple. The elderly lady took as many as she could of you both, in different positions as you held onto one another.
"Your engaged?!" The woman who had taken the photo asked when she saw the ring on your finger. Glancing down at the ring and up to her face, you nodded.
"Just recently." You lied as you smiled up at her. There was a giant smile on her face as she began to congratulate you both. Telling you how lovely you looked with one another.
"Congratulations! You're in for a wonderful and happy marriage," Giggling you walked back to Namjoon and showed him the photographs of you both. Going over everything from that day and smiling as you looked like a real couple, not someone who was faking their time together. 
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"You're telling me you did all of this in one day? You're not bored?" Mina whined as she looked through the camera, checking out all of the photographs you had taken that day. Not just of you and Namjoon but from the different places you had visited. There was a photograph of Namjoon in some random bookshop you had found. Sitting on the smallest chair you had ever seen in your life, he almost looked as though he could be a giant.
"You went to Paris Las Vegas?!" Rose screamed as she saw a photo of you both standing under the "Effiel tower" together. Namjoons hand on your waist as you looked up at one another lovingly.
"You look like a real couple," Lia mentioned as she watched you looking over their shoulders at all of the images. Feeling your body heat up when you heard Lia's words, looking at her shyly as she smirked back at you. 
"Do you get along well?" Yerin questioned as she glanced over at Namjoon who was getting everyone drinks at the bar. All of you were inside the hotel Casino thanks to one of the cards that Rose had pulled for you. 
"We do...We haven't run out of anything to talk about all day...We have so much in common too." You smiled unknowingly as you thought about Namjoon. All though all of this was fake and would soon go away you wanted to live it up as much as you could with him.
"I see something happening...Do you like him?" Rose jabbed Jiyho in the side and shook her head at her. You kept silent as you watched Lia jumping up and down on the spot. 
Namjoon was standing beside you and handed you a glass of water, letting you sip it before placing it onto the table in front of you all.
"Here! My turn!" Lia yelled as she picked out a card from the box for you. Namjoon chuckled from beside you when he noticed how excited Lia seemed to be about pulling a random card out for you both. 
"Go and get married in the chapels." You stared at the card and then at Namjoon. Married? But this was all supposed to be fake and a little bit of fun. Mina looked at you as she realised the two of you weren't okay with the sound of it.
"We put a twist on it!" Mina announced as she moved closer to you all, Yiren smirking as she came up with an idea too. There was no reason for the wedding to go ahead, it could all be just a little game for the group of you.
"You're about to get married when one of us comes in and claim he slept with us! You guys have a fight!" Yerin seemed excited about it as you and Namjoon exchanged glances with one another. Clearly still not sure if it was a good idea to go through with something like this.
"This isn't a drama-" You were about to say but you were cut off by Jihyo.
"No, it'll be fun! We'll all seem so shocked! You can storm out and never have to marry Namjoon," She told you as she took your hand in her right hand and Namjoon's in her left. 
"The two of you can be the stars of the show..." Namjoon laughed from beside you and nodded. There was no reason any of this had to be a huge deal, it wasn't as though you were going to actually marry one another. Besides, he had been having so much fun with you all day he never wanted it to end. If getting a fake marriage that night meant he could spend more time with you then he was down for that.
"I'm down," Shrugging his shoulders he glanced to you as he waited for you to agree to it as well.
"Me too," Lia said as she downed her glass of wine and began clapping her hands together eagerly.
"I'll be the one he slept with," Rose giggled as she walked over to you, more like stumbled as she leant against the table for support.
"You're too drunk, let Jihyo do it." Mina whispered as they all agreed and you looked at them nervously. The only white dress you owned was the one from last night and Namjoon wasn't dressed for it either.
"There's a problem...Neither of us is exactly dressed for a wedding..." You told Jiyho as she shook her head at you, throwing her hands up at you. 
"You can rent your clothes out, it's cheap! You can rent flowers too." She said as she began leading you towards the chapels just down the road from the hotel you were staying inside of. Both you and Namjoon laughing as you followed behind the group of friends. Ready to fake marry, your fake fiancé.
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Standing in front of Namjoon at the chapel in front of Elvis wasn't how you had pictured the night going but it was funny nonetheless. Dressed in a knee-length wedding dress that puffed out like a huge princess gown you stared at Namjoon. He was wearing a black tux with a bow tie to match. The outfits you had rented for a week for some strange reason. Lia had convinced you that it would be a cute idea, to get photos of you both all over Vegas in your wedding outfits. 
A bouquet of red roses in your hands as you stared at one another nervously. Part of you feared that Jiyho would never walk through the door and you would end up actually being married. But another part of you wanted that. You wanted to keep Namjoon around but you shook the feeling away.
"Do you Y/n take Namjoon to be your-" The Elvis impersonater stopped speaking when the doors burst open and Jihyo stood there. Mascara running down her face as she sobbed, good to know the drama lessons were working. Sniffling to herself she began to walk down the aisle holding something in her hand.
"You!" She screamed at Namjoon storming over to him as he did his best not to laugh, he had to at least seem as though this was all real.
"You cheating scumbag!" She threw something down onto the ground, you couldn't tell what it was at first. Not until she began yelling out loudly.
"I'm home pregnant with your kid! And you go off and marry some slag from Vegas!" Namjoon bit his lip as you both stared down at the positive sticks that were sitting on the ground and staring up at you. Where had she even got them?
"I can't do this! I don't love you." Namjoon cried out at her, turning to face her as you stared at them both. Doing your best to seem completely shocked at what was being said.
"You don't love anyone, all you care about is yourself!" Jiyho scoffed as she poked his chest a little harshly. None of this had been prepared beforehand, the two of them were going on the spot with one another.
"Oh please! As if the baby is mine!" Everyone in the room gasped and Elvis took a step back holding his hand over his chest. You bit on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing.
"He's mine now." You cried out but Jihyo scoffed, "slapping" you across the face before storming out of the chapel. You clutched onto your cheek as if she had actually come into contact with your skin. 
"Y/n,...Let me explain." Namjoon begged as you began walk down the steps of the altar,
"Explain what?! That you're some low life who goes around cheating on people he's "in love with"?!" You cried out as you threw the bouquet of flowers against his chest. Hiking up the rented dress and running out of the chapel dramatically.
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The two of you met up back inside the hotel, dressed in the rented clothes you had and laughed about everything. He was explaining what had happened after you left,
"You should have seen Elvis, he picked up the pregnancy tests and handed them to me." Namjoon groaned as he looked at you, remembering the look on your face when you heard he was "cheating" on you.  
"You're a good actress," He complimented as he pulled you close to him. Ignoring the looks you were getting from other people in the hotel as they watched you both together. Probably wondering what two people in wedding outfits were doing in the middle of the bar.
"You're a good actor, have you thought about teaching drama?" You laughed as he ordered you both a drink at the bar. The bartender smiling at you as he began to pour you both a glass of water.
"Newlyweds?" The barkeep asked, raising his eyebrows when he saw the outfits you were standing in. As you went to say no Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist, the feeling sending a flutter to your chest and you looked up at him. Feeling your heart hammering against your chest as he nodded,
"We are." The barman cheered and clapped his hands together loudly, gaining the attention of some other people who began clapping. Coming out from behind the bar and walking you over to the reception desk he continued to congratulate you both on a happy married together.
"We have newlyweds!" He cried out as he looked at you both to the woman on the front desk. The blonde looked as though she was bored but the moment she heard the word "Newlyweds" her head sprung up like a jack in the box.
"Newlyweds?" She glanced at you both and you smiled at her trying to seem convincing that all of this was real. You snuggled your head into Namjoon's chest, almost gasping when you heard how fast his heart was racing. 
"Here," She began typing away on the computer before giving you a key with a giant smile on her face. This must have been something that they were used to, a bunch of happily married people coming into the hotel.
"A room upgrade for you both, we hope you enjoy your honeymoon here in Sunny las Vegas." You blinked at her before staring at the key. It had a love-heart shaped key ring on the chain and you were being led toward the elevators by the bartender who smiled at you both.
"We get a lot of couples begging for room upgrades when they get married in the chapels, it's nice to see a couple who truly love one another come in." You stared at the barkeep and then to Namjoon who seemed to be smiling and nodding along to everything he was saying.
"Go and get your things from your old rooms and you can head straight up to your new one...Would you like a bath drawn?" You shook your head as you looked from the key to Namjoon, you couldn't believe all of this was even happening.
"No thank you, I think me and my wife will take a bottle of champagne? Maybe some room service." Namjoon squeezed your side making you giggle at the way it tickled and you cuddled closer to him wanting him to stop.
"All on the house sir, just use the phone whenever you're ready for food." The barkeep stood at the elevator doors and smiled shyly.
"Ready?" You frowned,
"When you're finished with your wedding night fun of course," A blush crept onto Namjoon's cheeks as the doors shut making you giggle as you saw the look on his face.
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Pushing the doors open to your new hotel room you almost dropped your bag onto the floor. The whole place was stunning, with white walls, white everything. The only things that weren't white were the red roses all over the room.
"This place is bigger than my apartment," You mumbled as you walked into the bathroom, mouth hanging open as you saw what was inside. A huge bathtub was against panelled walls, two sinks, a giant walk-in shower and a huge collection of bubble baths and salts.
"Hey look." Namjoon pulled back the panels in the bathroom wall to reveal it walked straight into the bedroom. Staring directly at the giant bed that was in the room.
"Whoa." The two of you walked over to the balcony doors to see a large balcony with a hot tub sitting there. Covered in rose petals and candles. They must have lit everything up when you were getting your things together, it looked as though the room was set up for royalty.
"No one is going to believe this," You laughed taking a photo of the bed which had giant towel swans, rose petals in the shape of hearts and chocolates all over the place. It was heaven.
"I'm never leaving." You moaned out as you juped onto the bed, humming at how soft and comfortable it was. The sheets felt as soft as a fluffy blanket and then the pillows. The pillows felt firm but not the kind of firm that would hurt you.
"Namjoon, jump on." You begged as you pulled him to lay down beside you, smiling as you both melted into the sheets relaxing and whining together. 
"What about going in the hot tub?" You questioned as you picked up a chocolate-covered strawberry and eat it, looking at Namjoon who nodded. Taking the glasses of champagne outside while you carried the tray of foods that had been delivered to your door, free of charge. There were so many benefits to being married inside of a hotel like this. 
"You first," Namjoon said as he held out your hand and helped you step into the hot tub. Practically moaning when you felt the jets against your back. The moan made Namjoon blush a little as he joined you inside, handing you your glass and pouring a little more into it.
"This is it, I'm never leaving." You told him as you laid your head back against the hot tub and relaxed. It felt as though you were being treated like some kind of queen and you never wanted the feeling to leave. 
"I suggest we permanently move into the hotel." Namjoon joked as he laid his own head back and relaxed, letting out a breath of relief as he closed his eyes. None of this felt awkward with you around. It just felt as though he had been friends with you for the longest time and you were finally doing something fun together.
Then there was the hammering in his chest he got whenever you brushed against him or looked at him. That feeling was something he never wanted to lose. The way his palms would sweat and his mind would spin, he was taken with you.
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Shifting on the chair you were sitting on you looked to Namjoon who smirked at you. That morning you had both chosen dares for one another, something that seemed simple and innocent at first. Until you found out yours was to go Commando for the full day and Namjoon's was to be overly needy with you. The small touches here there and everywhere were doing nothing to help you at that moment. Ever since you had left the hotel together you couldn't help but lean towards him. Desperate for any kind of touch from him.
"Did I tell you how great you look today?" You glanced to your left at Namjoon and pushed a fork full of cake into his mouth to stop him. The non-stop compliments were making your heart flutter, it shouldn't be able to make you feel this way.
"I'm serious, look how beautiful my fiancé is!" He called out as he gained the attention of people around him. Other couples inside of the store turning to give you both filthy looks as you felt yourself sink into the chair, 
"Namjoon," You warned wanting him to divert attention away from you. It only took someone to look extremely close at your fake ring to realise that it was indeed fake.
"What? I'm doing what my card, said... just like you are." A small smirk played on his lips and your head went back to the night before and that morning. All your time together was beginning to make you feel attached and like a real couple.
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"Namjoon?" You hummed as he held you in his arms, kissing your shoulder softly as he chuckled a little. The two of you had been trying to sleep for the last two hours but you couldn't do it. Your heart was racing too much from being so close to Namjoon. 
"Yes?" 
"Can you sing to me...It doesn't have to be one of your songs...I just need it to sleep." You whispered as his fingers began to trace small patterns up and down your arms. Smiling as he thought about something that he could sing to you.
"I'm a better rapper than I am a singer," He informed you before getting comfortable on the bed. Arms wrapped around you protectively as he began to softly sing "Perfect" to you by Ed Sheeran. Your mind began to relax as the words left his mouth. Listening to every line and note he sang out until you finally fall asleep. Head resting on his chest as he looked down at you, a smile playing on his lips as he just watched you.
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That morning you'd woken up curled in his arms. He'd been snoring softly which was what had woken you up in the first place. The cutest little snores falling from his lips as you looked up at his face. 
"Sleeping beauty," You whispered before cupping his face in your hand. Running your thumb along his cheek softly just admiring the way he looked.
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"Don't look at me like that," You whined as he fed you some more cake. Chocolate was practically melting onto your tongue as you stared at him. The two of you were at a cake tasting for the morning. Rose thought it would be cute to do since Jae-Ah had cancelled on it last minute leaving a spot open for a new couple. 
Nothing fancy, just a small lady leaving her shop open for people to sample different flavours. Design a cake for them and decide if they wanted her to create it or not.
"You're worried about something, I'm trying to distract you." He told you as he sat closer, his hand resting naturally on your waist as you looked up at him. Everything with him felt so natural now, nothing ever felt forced.
"I'm scared for Jae-Ah, she's been doing all of this alone...I'm the maid of honour-" Another piece of cake was pushed into your mouth before you could finish speaking and you whined at him. Picking up some more and doing the same thing to him, he whined at the taste of it. He was enjoying cake tasting a lot more than he first thought he was going to.
"She told you she was fine this morning, you rang her remember." You smiled weakly as you remembered breakfast that morning. You'd spammed Jae-ah with calls until she finally answered you and you could quiz her on what was going. 
"I know she's fine but-" 
"This is our day, stop ruining it with wedding talk and eat...Some wedding cake." He frowned when he looked at you, realising that this was technically wedding talk. Giggling at him you shook your head and pushed more cake into his mouth. 
Namjoon inched his chair closer to you, his hands resting on your thigh. Something that was completely innocent to those on the outside but to you it didn't feel innocent.
"Namjoon," You breathed as his hand slowly raised up and he acted as though he was extremely needy. Rubbing his fingers along your skin, this would have been totally fine if it wasn't for your dress. One small slip and he would touch you right where you were craving him. 
All morning long his arms had been around you, hands on your body. Every chance he could get he was touching you. Not that you were ever going to complain about it. It felt good having someone with you like this at all times. It made your feeling of loneliness slowly begin to disappear the longer he was around. 
"I'm doing my dare," He whispered in your ear as he slowly left kisses up and down your skin. It became apparent to the both of you that there was something there between you but it wasn't spoken about. Your eyes fluttered shut as he continued to leave small kisses all over you.
"You're doing it too well," You whimpered feeling him raise his hand up your thigh higher and you looked at him. Clenching around nothing as you felt yourself growing wetter at how close he was to you.
"Too well? How about you? Are you doing your dare too well?" You shivered as he looked at you, a small smirk playing on his lips.
"Very well, we both know I left the underwear in the room," You looked at him as you raised your eyebrow. Thinking back to the way Namjoon had blushed heavily when he saw you slide off the red lacey thong from under your dress. You'd never seen someone blush
"Y-Yeah we both know." He stuttered out as he looked at you, feeling his body begin to heat up as he watched the way you smirked back at him. It had taken forever for him to stop blushing while you came to the cake shop. Even now the blush was beginning to grow on his cheeks as he thought back on that morning.
"Aw baby you're blushing again," You cooed loudly, inching closer until you kissed his cheek softly. His hand-raising between your thighs and almost touching you but you didn't fight it, you didn't want his hand to stop.
"You're so cute, we love to see such young couples in love." The cake lady said as she watched you and Namjoon together. Whenever she was with another customer she would watch the two of you, she couldn't help but feel interested in the way you were together. Over the years she had been baking for couples there was never anyone like the two of you in her store.
"We don't get much real love around here anymore." She mumbled as she began setting some cake and milk out in front of you. This was the first time she had spoken to you, most of the other couples had been picking her brain on every little idea that they had.
"You don't?" You questioned a little shyly as you reached out for the glass of milk and sipped on it.
"Most couples who run here to have a quick wedding and leave again...It's refreshing to see such young love." You smiled weakly at the thought of it, although all of this was fake it wasn't the first time someone had complimented the way you looked together. 
"When did you both meet?" You looked at Namjoon and he smiled taking charge of the story you had made up on your first night together. 
"In high school, it's very cliché." He told her as he fed you some of the strawberry cake that had been placed down in front of you. It was one of the best tasting cakes you had ever had the pleasure of tasting.
"Those are the best though...That or when two strangers randomly come together and click." Was the woman staring into your souls? Did she know it was all fake? Humming at you nodded your head in agreement with her. There was nothing better than two strangers coming together and clicking and it only made your heart swell as you glanced to Namjoon.
Two strangers coming together. As if they were meant for one another.
"I think I have some cute high school templates for cakes...You could have your old high school photo and then an update on the top of your cake?" She raced to get up from the chair and began heading back into the back of her store again. 
"She's adorable," You whispered to Namjoon as he fed you some of the chocolate cake. The tasting session was coming to an end and she had given you everything you would need to make your future wedding.
"Maybe you should come here when you get married," Namjoon suggested as he looked at you. Neither of you had really spoken about relationships you had back home. Not that you had one to talk about.
"When I get married?" You laughed a little too loudly, the thought of you ever being married was funny to you.
"What's so funny?" He sounded confused as he watched you throwing your head back in a giggle fit. Standing on the side of the street with him as you didn't know what was up next for your day out together. 
"I'm not going to get married...No one is that dumb enough." Namjoon frowned at your wording. Why would anyone need to be dumb to marry you?
"Why would they have to be to marry you?" He questioned, clearly the joke getting lost on him so you sighed. Looking up at him and biting your lip. 
"Because I'm a boring English teacher who likes to sightsee, go to museums or read all of the time." Namjoon nodded along, none of that sounded boring to him. In fact, it sounded like the perfect time to him,
"I'm a boring Music teacher who does the same thing." Smiling at the image of him in your head. That was very true but he wasn't boring, he was far from it in fact. 
"You're far from boring Joonie...You fake married someone and got engaged for fun..." He laughed a little as he raised his eyebrow at you,
"And you didn't?"
"No...I was forced into it, I didn't just go for it." It was completely different. Namjoon had practically dropped all of his plans to do this for you.
"But you're doing it now...We're having fun right...I don't think you're boring." A flicker of hope sparked inside of you. Most of the men you met found you boring and saw no reason not to tell you how boring they found you.
"You don't?"
"Not even close...I've had the most fun with you that I've had in the longest time." You smiled feeling your body begin to heat up as he stared at you. There was a look in his eyes that let you know he was telling the truth.
"Me too actually, this has been more fun than I thought it was going to be." You admitted as he stood beside you against the wall.
"Good, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," He chuckled wrapping his arm around your waist when he began walking down the street with you. Squeezing you softly as he continued to speak with you about how much fun he had been having.
"I never thought it could be this fun...I thought I was going to be stuck inside alone while the girls had fun." You told him when you stood at the traffic lights to cross the road.
"Did you have fun?" He questioned, you smiled and nodded your head. Having more fun than you ever thought possible on this kind of trip.
"We have a night out planned tonight, are you ready for it?" You nodded your head at him once again as you remembered the night the girls had planned. They wouldn't tell you anything that would be happening, just that you needed to find something nice to wear and to be ready.
"More than ready, they said they have something special planned." Rose had been non-stop texting you from the moment they got to their hotel room and found your stuff missing. She wanted to know what was going on but you gave her no details. So they figured you had gotten lucky and decided not to question it too much. They knew you were a private person and didn't want to pressure you into telling them things you didn't want them to know.
"What did they think of you staying out?" Namjoon asked as you stepped towards another set of traffic lights.
"They had no idea I was with you but I figure they think something happened," You sounded almost disappointed as you said it to him. Were you disappointed that nothing had happened between the two of you? 
"Nothing did, you can tell them I was a complete and utter gentleman with you," He smirked a little as he looked at you. Though he was a gentleman the night before you knew the smirk was about everything he had been doing today. Small kisses, touches and never leaving you to rest for even a second.
"Is that what this is?" You asked as you felt his hand slowly slipping down to your ass, grabbing it softly as you resisted the urge to let out a small whine.
"I'm acting needy, as I was instructed," You felt as though you were the one going to come out of this really needy. 
"Want to go shopping? You can help me find something for tonight. I've been instructed to wear white all week." You laughed as you looked at Namjoon, raising your eyebrow as he nodded his head. 
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The two of you stood in the middle of the store, dresses hanging over Namjoom's arms as you headed toward the changing rooms as you grabbed some shoes. You never would have thought one store would have so many plain white dresses inside of them, you figured it would be easy enough to just find one dress for the rest of the week.
"You sure you'll be okay?" You glanced at Namjoon wondering what he meant but he shook his head. You were naked beside a small bra underneath your current dress and he didn't want the trying on of clothes to be uncomfortable for you.
Handing you the dresses he moved to go and sit on the seats just outside of the changing room so he could give his opinion on what you were wearing. 
"First one." You called out as you stepped out from the curtain and walked in front of him. A lace dress, tight-fitted and a little too short for your liking but it had looked great on the mannequin. Brushing the front down you looked at Namjoon who seemed to be blushing a little, you looked beautiful. Namjoon thought you looked beautiful in anything though, even when you were fast asleep and drooling on his chest.
"It looks nice...I love the lace." You turned your back on Namjoon to look in the mirror when he suddenly jumped up and held you from behind. Your eyes widened as you looked at him in the mirror, his eyes wide with fear as he tried to make sure no one was looking over at you both. 
"What?" You asked nervously as he looked at you through the reflection in the mirror.
"You're...You're still not wearing underwear and the dress is-I-It's extremely short." You felt your body heating up and you whined racing back to the changing room to try on the next few dresses. 
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"Oh, babes you look lush!" Lia cried out as you walked through the club with Namjoon on your arm. The two of you stood so close that you looked like a real couple together. You'd gone with a longer lace dress and Namjoon was wearing black jeans and a white shirt combo.
"Right this way VIP's," A bouncer said as he walked you through the crowds of people. Eyes on you as you and Namjoon got allowed into a separate part of the club. Not as loud as the first part but still just loud enough you would have to yell to be heard. It was sectioned off from the rest of the club by glass walls and a glass door, it even had its own private bar.
"Here! Drinks for the future bride and groom!" A bartender cried out as drinks were poured for you all and taken over to a table you would all be sitting at. You laughed a little as Namjoon looked down at you, it felt as though you were being treated like celebrities.
"Did you have fun at the cake tasting?" Rose asked Namjoon as she sat down on the other side of him. The three of you sitting on some white leather sofa and looking at one another. Rose continued watching him as his arms stayed around you, holding you close to him. She had bets on whether or not you had slept together or not yet and she wanted to win, she needed the cash. The trip to Vegas was making her broke.
"We did! You should have been there rose, you would have loved the strawberry," You giggled as you put one leg over Namjoon's and looked at him. He placed his hand on your lower back and bit down on his tongue. Ever since you found out Namjoon grew needy with small touches as well. You had been doing them non-stop.
"Another dare?" Yerin asked as she noticed you both sitting so close to one another. You nodded at her as you reached for your glass,
"We have to be overly couply tonight." You told her casually as you began sipping on the drink in front of him. Humming as though it tasted nice when it had been one of the worst things you had ever put into your mouth. Carefully place it down you looked at Namjoon and told him to try it.
He instantly coughed and hissed in regret as he placed the glass down, doing his best not to have a coughing fit in the middle of the club.
"What is that?!" He practically choked drinking some of the water that happened to be at the table.
"A special concoction we made with the barkeep." Mina giggled as she waved her fingers over at the bar, a short man waving back at her as she blushed.
"It's called the Namjoon and Y/n..." Mina said as she turned back to the pair of you.
"Hen-do, since it was easier." Rose corrected as you looked at the drink and back at them. It was a bright green colour and you stared at them wondering what they could have mixed to get this.
"What's in it?" You questioned a little apprehensively as you watched them.
"Erm...Vodka, a rum, brandy and a dash...Just a dash and Absinthe." Your eyes widened as you put the glass down onto the table and looked at them all. They had to have been joking? It sounded like something that would knock someone out old on the floor.
"You're all insane, that'll kill someone." You moaned looking at the glass and then at Jihyo who stumbled over and laid down on the opposite sofa to yours.
"Hey! I've had seven I am fine!" Jiyho cried out as she looked at you. Shaking on the spot as you nodded sarcastically. 
"Completely fine...Rose," You warned as she stared at Jiyho, agreeing to take her back to the hotel and look after her. There was no way you were going to allow her to stay out when she looked as though she could barely walk in a straight line.
"Can I have a long island iced tea?" You asked the barkeep who had came over to deliver more drinks. He nodded his head and looked at Namjoon wondering what he wanted,
"What's that? It sounds nice," You glanced at Namjoon and sent him a soft smile.
"The best, it's Gin, Vodka, Tequila, Rum and some triple sec," Namjoon nodded and looked to the barkeep.
"Make it two." Namjoon chuckled as he kept his arm around your waist, squeezing softly to bring you closer to his body.
"Do another dare," Yerin whined as the club continued to get louder. Music beginning to blast out of speakers in all four corners of the room. Glancing at Namjoon you smirked a little and pulled out the cards, you both knew that they were going to want to continue the game with you so you made sure to bring them. 
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The two of you were starting to feel the effect of the drinks now and you were lying to yourself if you said it wasn't giving you confidence that came along with it.
"Here, you pick one babe." You handed her the box and kept your leg over Namjoon's. Running your fingers up and down his chest as your core came into contact with his clothed thigh. Namjoon had been bouncing his leg so much you were starting to feel a little needy. Needier than any small touch or innuendo could make you feel. 
"Give your partner a lap dance," The girls oohed and you shrugged it off. It was no big deal, just a small dance. 
"Sure thing," Getting up from the seat you looked and Namjoon and smirked, his legs were spread and you looked at him. Only the two of you knew what was under your dress, or lack thereof.
"You sure?" He questioned not wanting you to do something that would make you feel uncomfortable in any way.
"Only if you're okay with it." He nodded so you smirked, waiting for the song to change before you positioned yourself above his lap. Facing him as you began to grind down against his jeans biting your lip as you stared at him, imagining that it was just the two of you dancing together.
No one else in the room had no idea that you had no underwear on and that Namjoon was blushing so much before he knew that. He knew that right now there was nothing between your core and his cock besides his clothing. His mind wandered to other things, about how he would take you if no one else was there.
"Fuck," He whined as he put his hands on your waist, suddenly feeling himself getting jealous at the men that were staring over at you.
"Just like that baby, keep going." He praised only encouraging your movements as you began to grind faster in time to the music. Letting out a small - unnoticed by anyone but Namjoon - moan as you caught your core against his thigh.
As soon as the music ended he sat you down on his thigh, staring up at you and smirking. Licking his lips a little he watched you closely as you sank down to sit on his thigh.
"Was that a moan?" He questioned as he cupped your face in his hand, turning his thumb along your bottom lip to stop you from biting it. 
"Stop before I bite it," He ordered as you let out a small whimper at the thought of him biting you like that. He bounced his leg and smirked before you glanced over at Yerin who screamed for you to get up and dance with her. You wanted to stay there, you wanted to sit on his thigh and ride just a little, you needed it but Yerin would make you dance.
Namjoon's grip tightened when he saw the men that were with Yerin, he didn't want you to leave his sight. He felt protective over you and maybe it was the bulge in his pants speaking but he didn't want you to go. Not yet at least.
But you did. You left him there to go and dance. Eyes on him the entire time as you bumped and grinded with Yerin in time with the music. Watching you for a while before he finally decided to get up and dance with you himself, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him.
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"One more?" You teased Namjoon as you looked at him, looking around the hotel lobby as you walked inside of it. The lobby was practically dead since it was so late at night, everyone was either already in bed or still out at clubs. Namjoon looked at you as his hand resting on your ass as he grabbed it a little, humming as he smirked.
"One more dare? You're feeling lucky?" He looked at you as you shook your head, you didn't feel lucky in the slightest but you wanted to have fun and that was way more important.
"I want more fun." You complained, whinging a little as you pulled out the box and stared at him. 
"Together." He said as he ran his fingers along all of the cards, both of you stopping on the same one and smiling. 
"Pull," You pulled it out and turned it around, instantly feeling your body heating up as you read the words that were written across it in black and white.
"There's a pool right?" He questioned with a grin looking at the card as you nodded your head anxiously.
"Come on." The card dropped to the floor as you both rushed towards the elevators, giggling and laughing with one another.
Rose wandered through the reception after getting some food for Jiyho back in the old room you shared and smirked. A single dare card was left on the floor and she picked it up. Reading it out loud to Mina who frowned.
"Skinny dip in the pool?" Rose laughed a little,
"You think that's Y/n and Namjoon?" Mina questioned as she stared at the card, unconvinced that it could have been you. There was no way you would do something like that. You were always the boring one of the group that wanted to be sensible.
"Who else?"
"Well loads of people buy stuff like-" Mina stopped when she saw a glimpse of you and Namjoon rushing to the elevators and smirked. 
"Way to go Y/n," She said in unison with Rose as they both made their way back up to their bedroom for the night.
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"Namjoon...What if someone catches us?" The pool was completely dark beside the lights at the bottom of the water. There wasn't another person in sight thanks to it being on the bottom floor that looked out into the gardens.
"No one is going to know." He chuckled as he began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing in front of you. Your eyes lingering on his chest as he smirked, throwing it onto the ground. 
"I won't look when you undress," He assures you as he kicked off his jeans, your head turning away as he kicked out of his boxers and dove into the water. Hearing the splash you looked back over at him and bit down on your lip deciding that it was now or never.
"It's so nice," He whined as he resurfaced and came up to the top of the water for some air, running his hands through his hair. 
Namjoon glanced up and you were a blur, running and diving into the water, almost screaming at the coldness. 
"I thought you said it was nice!" You yelled splashing him with water as you shivered a little from the freezing cold water.
"It is, you're just being a baby." You splashed him again so he splashed you back, laughing as you tried to swim away from him.
"You can't go back on the dare." He smirked as he watched you swimming to the side of the pool but you shook your head at him.
"I'm not, I'm going to do laps to warm up." You laughed looking at him as he shook his head at you. 
"This is supposed to be fun." He reminded you as he began to swim around in small circles.
"Whopping your ass is fun." You teased him.
"Oh, you think you can win?"
"No," You let out a pout and Namjoon grinned from ear to ear as he looked at you.
"I know I can." You grinned back at him before he swam to your side to join you. Both of you counting down from ten before kicking off and swimming as you both raced to the other end of the pool.
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"I told you I could beat you," You smirked as he swam to your side again, out of breath as he looked down at you. He'd won the first couple of rounds but now he was too exhausted to continue going.
"So you could," He chuckled looking down at you. Both of you were so close you could feel his breath on your skin so you smiled and tapped his chest a little.
"Thank you for doing all of this with me." He frowned, wondering what you could have been thanking him for.
"Hm?"
"Going to see the sights, hanging out with my and my friends...I know I said it earlier but this has been the most fun I've had...Ever," He chuckled not believing it, there was no way this was the most fun you had ever had in your life.
"Please, I bet you had fun in Seoul." Namjoon knew first-hand that there was so much to do and see in Seoul no one could ever be bored or not have fun.
"I would go to work and go home...I didn't speak to anyone except the girls and now here I am with a stranger," You laughed looking at him as he smiled brightly. It didn't feel like you were a stranger to him anymore, in fact, he felt closer to you than he had with anyone he'd ever dated.
"I think we know each other more than we did," He said as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest. Neither of you caring that you were both naked under the water.
"We do," You whispered as you looked up at him, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him as passionately as you could.
"I feel like I've gotten to know you a lot," You added on as you stared at him and you did...Minus his real name, you knew everything about him.
"I feel close with you, closer than with anyone else I've met," You looked up at him as he spoke, standing on your tiptoes to try and kiss him. 
Namjoon smirked when he noticed what you were doing and picked you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist as he brought you closer to him. 
"What is it, my needy fiance?" He joked as you looked down at him, arms resting on his shoulders.
"A kiss," You whispered tilting your head to the side and moving your head closer to him,
"I want a kiss," You whispered as you were almost touching. Namjoon smirked as he nodded,
"I need one too." He whispered before leaning forward and connecting your lips. Lips mashing together as you pushed your hands into his hand and pulled his face closer to yours. 
Hearts thumping rapidly as his hands run up and down your back, squeezing your skin and humming against your lips.
Pushing you to the edge of the pool he bit and sucked along your neck as he lifted you up to sit on the side of the pool. Watching you closely as you frowned at him, wondering what he was doing.
"What are you-" Instead of finishing your sentence you rolled your head back and moaned out as he kissed down your body. Spreading your legs with one hand so he could see what had been teasing him all day long. From the moment he'd seen a glimpse in the dress shop he knew he needed to take you.
"Namjoon." You breathed out a little shakily as he ran one finger through your folds, rubbing your clit with his thumb.
"No one is around, relax baby." He smirks knowing just how much you needed this from him. Nodding your head at him Namjoon wasted no time in attaching himself to your dripping cunt. Moaning out as he licked through your folds.
"Fuck! Just like that" You cried out as you rolled your head back and gripped onto the sides of the pool. Moaning out at the noises Namjoon was making. Your toes curled as you felt his tongue move from your entrance to your clit, sucking on it harshly as you cried out.
"Taste so fucking good," He moaned out as he slowly eased one of his fingers into you. Chuckling as you whimpered out, 
"Sensitive," You hissed at him as he continued to push one finger in and out of you, moaning as you clenched down on his finger. He couldn't wait until that was his cock buried deep inside of you.
"Hmm? Sensitive?" He mocked as he picked up the pace of his finger. Buring his face into your cunt as your hips moved against his face needing more.
"Does it feel good?" He questioned when pulled away from you, easing a second finger into you. Your hands moved to your bests, rubbing yourself as pushed his tongue into you.
"Holy fuck!" You screamed out as you pushed your hands into his hair, needing him closer.
"Oh fuck yes, clenching around my tongue, just like that," He moaned out as you felt his moan push you closer to the edge. Eyes rolling back as you continued to rock your hips in time to his movements.
"Namjoon...F-Fuck I need to cum," You begged as he continued to swirl his tongue inside of you, moving away and sucked your clit softly. Eyes darkening as he looked up at you.
"You wanna cum? Do you?" Smirks getting faster and more intense with the thrust of his fingers inside of you. Curling them as you continued to let out loud moans, not caring if someone would hear you or not.
"Those little moans coming from that perfect pretty little mouth of yours," He moaned out in satisfaction, he never wanted you to stop moaning like that for him.
"Hmm, I can't wait to be buried inside of that tight little cunt, you're going to make such pretty little sounds," You clenched around his fingers, head shooting up as you began to ride his fingers faster.
"G-Gonna-" You screamed when a flashlight shone through the pool area, jumping into the pool you whimpered. Your orgasm fading away as your legs began to shake,
"What are you two doing?" A rough voice boomed as he looked over at the pair of you.
"We went for a late-night swim..." Namjoon said as he took control of the situation, sliding you to hide behind him so that you couldn't be seen.
"No one is allowed down here at night, out." Screaming you rushed for Namjoon's shirt, throwing it on and looking at him as he rushed to put on his pants. 
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Racing into the elevator he pushed you against the wall, picking you up and holding you tightly. Two of you dripping from the pool water as he kissed your neck.
"You're so fucking hot," He grunts grabbing your breasts through your shirt, roughly pulling and tugging on your nipples as you let out whimpers of pleasure.
"Fuck Namjoon, please. I was so close." You cried as he ground you down against his cock through his pants. Moaning out loud when you felt how big he was through the pants.
"Dirty little girl, look at you getting it off in the elevator with a stranger," He smirked as he reached between you to rub your clit, your head rolling back against the wall as you felt the build up again. 
"Just like that," You breathed out as your eyes fluttered shut, forgetting you were in the elevator. 
"You like this? Me rubbing your clit while you get off in a public space," Your moans got even louder as Namjon reached into your shirt and pulled your breast out. Sucking on your nipples, biting softly as he continued the movements of his hand.
"Fuck, just don't stop." You begged as you could feel the tension beginning to build up inside of you once again.
"Don't stop? Hmm, you so so close before weren't you? About ready to cum all over my fingers...Pushing my face further into your core, fuck." He grunted when he felt your pussy clenching around nothing. It was beginning to throb from having one ruined orgasm through the night and you were chasing this one. Hips bucking against his touch as you moaned out, 
"Oh look, we're on our floor...Another ruined orgasm for you." Namjoon chuckled darkly as he placed you down on the floor and got out of the elevator, making his way over to your room.
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"Fuck me," You begged as he looked at you, smirking a little as you pushed your hands into his hair. Kissing him hungrily determined to cum for the first time all day. 
"Mine. you're all mine," He growled possessively, pushing you down onto the bed and kissing you deeply. You had no idea where any of it was coming from but you didn't care. If he said that you were his then so be it. 
"I need you." You whispered in his ear, biting down on his neck before rolling you both over. Kissing down his chest towards his pants as you yanked them down from his body. Exposing the cock you had been aching for all night and day. Pussy clenching at the sight of it standing up and flopping back against his abs.
"Jesus, Namjoon." You whispered as your hands carefully reached out to take his cock into your hand. Even with two hands, you were going to struggle to massage every inch of him. Spitting onto the tip of his cock you began to run your hands up and down his shaft, smirking as he let out moans of pleasure. 
"Fuck," His eyes closed as you began to rub him slowly and softly. Just admiring the way his cock looked and felt in your hand, it wasn't too veiny and it was as thick as it was long. 
Namjoon moaned out as you began to swirl your wrists a little around his cock as you licked the slit. Humming at the taste of precum leaking from him.
"U-Use your mouth baby?" He whimpered as he bucked into your hand. Giving you a shy smile as you looked up at him and giggled. 
"O-Oh fuck, that's it." He moaned out as you took his cock into your mouth. Namjoon bucked out of excitement as he looked at his cock disappearing into your mouth. 
"You've got such a good mouth holy fuck." He was gripping onto the sheets as he watched you struggling to take more of him. He was never going to force you but he bit down on his lip.
"You're halfway, you can do it... Slowly...T-That's it, good girl" He practically cried out your name as he felt the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat.
"Fuck that's good," He grunted as you began to bob your head up and down around his shaft. Using one hand to steady yourself on his thigh while the other worked on playing with his balls. 
Loud moans filling the air as he looked at you with pleading eyes. You took him all the way to the back of your throat and he held you there,
"Oh shit, j-just hold it." He begged as his eyes rolled back, you hummed around him watching in amusement as he bucked a little more.
"Such a perfect fucking mouth." He moaned out at you, watching as you took him out from your mouth and began to massage him again. Rubbing the mixture of salvia and precum into his cock, moaning out. You wanted him badly.
"Faster..." He whispered as you continued to rub him, grunting as you picked up the pace. Using both of your hands to twist and rub him quickly enjoying the way he moaned your name.
"S-Shit! Shit! Yes!" He cried out as he looked down at you. 
"You look so beautiful with my cock shoved in the pretty mouth." He watched as you began to leave soft and small licks on the head of his cock right before taking him all of the ways once again.
"F-Fuck! Y/n...I-I'm c-close," You smirked as you felt him getting closer to his release. Pumping what you couldn't fit and massaging his balls right until his cock twitched and you moved away. Dropping all contact as you giggled at him whimpering and whining the way he was.
"Now we've both had ruined orgasms." You smirked pulling off his shirt but Namjoon didn't find you funny. Growling at you he pulled you into his arms from behind and smirked as your legs began to shake a little. He pushed his cock between your thighs and smirked as he began to thrust softly. His shaft just running through your folds as you let out loud moans,
"Look at me, give me that face." He took your face into his hands and turned your head to look up at him. Thrusting his cock through your folds as you stood up together, your head rolling back just a little.
"You're mine. All fucking mine, you know that?" You nodded at him not knowing what to say. All you could think about was how much you needed him.
"Good girl," He praised as he continued thrusting his cock between your thighs, smirking at the way you cried out and buckled whenever he would catch your clit.
"So fucking wet and not because of the water huh?" Smirking as he rubs your clit softly, head rolling back against his shoulders. You couldn't wait anymore, you needed him to be deep inside of you. Ruining you and making you his own.
"Fuck, look at you...You're a mess," Screaming out in pleasure you almost lost it as he softly slapped your clit before rubbing again. The sensitiveness crawling back into you as you clenched your thighs together.
"You're so fucking hot, soaking my cock like that, look at you." He breathed as he began to kiss and suck on your neck.
"Ever since I saw you take off those lace panties this morning I've needed you, fuck I still need you."
"Here, let's give you what you need." He chuckled as he pushed one finger into your cunt, moaning out as you clenched on him.
"Look at that, so fucking tight and it's just one finger." Namjoon hummed as he gets faster, watching you grind down against his hand. 
"You want more? You're riding my hand so well," He smirked,
"Here," Pushing another into you as you moan out even louder, hands gripping onto his arms to stand up straight.
"So desperate for cock, look at you."
"Fuck! Namjoon please!" You begged him as he smirked a little more pulling away from you and taking you back over to the bed.
Carefully laying you down on the bed he looked down at you, spreading your legs and humming at the sight.
"Look at that pretty little pussy" Leaning down he ran his tongue through your folds again but that wasn't what you needed. You wanted him.
"Fuck, let's fill this room with moans." He places the head of his cock at your entrance and slowly pushed into you. Both of you moaning out as his hands gripped your hips.
"Jesus fuck you're so tight" Grunts gripping sheets tightly, not moving until she's adjusted to his size. 
"You're so fucking big," You rocked your hips up and he almost thrust right then and there but he held back. Holding you until he knew you were ready for him.
"Fuck," You whined as you looked at him, reaching between you to try and make him move a little more.
"Gooddamn you feel so good...L-Like it was made for me," You looked at him and smirked, bucking your hips as he began to thrust in and out of you roughly.
Feeling the head of his cock hitting that one spot that made your toes curl and your vision blur you screamed out.
"It belongs to me, right?" Namjoon smirked as he began to rub your clit. Your moans turning into inaudible babbles as you clenched around him. Wrapping your legs around his waist to make him hit into you deeper.
"Say who it belongs to. Say who you belong to." He begged as he looked down at you, biting and sucking on your neck whenever he got the chance.
"You!" You cried out feeling yourself clenching on him,
"Say my fucking name," He ordered making you scream out as you gripped the sheets. How could you say his name when you didn't know it? 
When you said nothing he growled at you, 
"You're fucking mine," Pulling out of you he turned you over onto all fours and pushing into her, as your eyes widened. It hit deeper than before and you could feel him in your gut as you moaned out.
"Let everyone know who you belong to. Scream my fucking name." He ordered as he slapped his hand across your ass, grabbing onto the skin and moaning out as you clenched.
"Say it's mine," He ordered as he pushed deep into you and refused to move until he heard it fall from your lips.
"YOURS! IT'S FUCKING YOURS!" You ached as you throbbed around his cock, begging for him to move inside of you once again,
"My name...M-Moan my name." It came out as a whimper, yet still demanding.
"I don't know it." You whimpered as he smirked. All he did was lean down and push you to lay on your stomach and pushed your legs together, biting your ear.
"Yes, you do." He whispered as he thrust into you. The sudden tightness of your legs made your head spin as he thrust into you.
"N-Namjoon? T-That's your name?" Nodding as he thrusts softly into you, not wanting to ruin you until you agreed to scream his name.
"Now let everyone fucking know who this pussy belongs to. Say it's mine!" He barked as he suddenly pulled all of the ways out of you until nothing but the head of his cock with inside of you. Slamming back into you making you cry out in unimaginable pleasure. The feeling was indescribable as you felt him deeper than anyone had ever gotten before.
"ITS NAMJOONS! F-Fuck! I'm Namjoons! It's yours! I belong to you!" Your hands gripped the sheets so hard you were worried if they were going to rip but you didn't care. All you cared about was Namjoon deep inside of you.
"Your moans are so pretty...Taking me so well." He praised as he continued to thrust into you, rubbing your ass softly as you begged for him to move faster. Feeling yourself getting closer to your release as you glanced over your shoulder at him.
"F-Faster Namjoon." You begged as your face contoured.
"Oh princess, you can't get enough? So greedy," He moaned out a she felt you clench around him on purpose. Grunting as he nodded his head,
"Fuck! Please Namjon!"
"Since you asked so nicely." He cried out. Pinning your hips down into the bed as he began to ruthlessly thrust in and out of you at a brutal pace. 
"You feel so good." Looks down and watching the way he would slide in and out of you.
"Watching my cock slip and out of you makes me want to cum." Smirking at him you nodded, wanting to feel him cum deep inside of you.
"Do it! F-Fuck fill me up, please Namjoon," The sudden neediness in your voice threw him off his movements as he slowed down just a little. Still fucking into you as he moaned out,
"You want me to fill you up?" He questioned a little unsure but you nodded eagerly at him.
"Yes! Please, I-I'm on the pill." The please almost made him cum right then and there as he looked at you with loving eyes.
"Tell me you want it." He whispered watching you as you whined out at him in protest. 
"Tell me how much you want this hot load inside of that perfect little cunt." He was the one doing the begging this time and it only turned you on more. Rubbing your clit as you looked at him,
"Please! Please cum inside of me Namjoon!" You gripped onto his cock as you clenched, eyes rolling back as you could feel your orgasm about to hit you.
"Fuck I can feel your pussy gripping me." He grunts as he holds you tightly, leaning down so he'd almost laid right on top of you. His thrust getting faster as you cried out his name.
"Namjoon I'm going to cum." You warned him as you felt him biting down on your shoulder,
"You can cum baby, you can cum, go on." He urged as he felt you clenching uncontrollably around him moaning out his name.
"C-Cumming! Fuck cumming!" You screamed as the knot inside of you snapped and you cried out his name loudly. Feeling his thrusts become sloppier as he came into you, holding himself deep inside of you.
Applying cream to your ass and smiling at you Namjoon cuddled you into his arms. Laying your head on his naked chest as he covered you up with a blanket.
"Namjoon?"
"Hmm?" He said as he turned to look at you, you looked unbelievably tired and yet adorable all at the same time.
"Will you be my plus one to Jae-ah's wedding?" He looked at you a little confused. He thought this was just going to be the week of partying, he never thought you would ask him to the wedding.
"Please...I know i's a little last minute but I want you to be there." You whispered as he nodded his head,
"I'll be there," He whispered to you as he leaned down to kiss your lips softly. 
"Of course I'll be there." He whispered again as you both got comfortable on the bed together. Your mind racing and then remembering what he had said about Namjoon being his real name. The thought alone made you giggle.
"So Namjoon is our name huh?" He laughs softly looking down at you as he nodded. 
"Talk about fate." He whispered before kissing the edge of your lips softly.
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"I'm surprised you can still walk," Namjoon whispered in your ear as you stood at the back of the room. Waiting for Jae-ah to come out so you could get the show on the road. Your back shivered as you watched Namjoon stand beside you, running his hands up and down your back.
"Four days in a hotel room with just us to, fuck I'm surprised too." You giggled as you stood together, straightening his suit a little, the rented Tux was going a long way that week. You'd faked a wedding night together, gone to dinner with him in it and then fucked everywhere you could in the hotel room.
"We used this tux a lot, does it look okay?" He raised his eyebrow at you as he smirked, he knew what he was doing to you. Putting images of the previous nights you had spent together. Your legs squeezed together as if that was going to do anything for the achiness between your thighs. Your eyes shut for a moment remembering everything you had done together, fucking up against the window, the hot tub, the bathtub, the shower...Anywhere he could get you. You couldn't get enough of one another. Then there were the sweet cuddles afterwards, you were inseparable.
"I wonder if Jae-Ah knows you've been staying out." He smirks in your ear as he runs his hand down to your ass, giving it a small squeeze.
"She knows," Jae-ah smirked as she looked at you. Your mouth dropped open as you looked at her gown. A floor-length ball gown that had a silk lilac band around the waist to match your lilac A-Line dress that she had picked out months ago for you. Her hair was curled and pinned perfectly with butterfly pins, it looked as though she had just stepped out of a fairytale book. Hugging her softly you smiled telling her how much you had missed her but she wasn't interested in that. Jae-ah was interested in the two of you after hearing all of the stories.
"You look almost like a real couple," Jae-ah cooed as she watched the two of you, Namjoon's arm around your waist as he held you as close to him as possible. You weren't going to tell her on your wedding day that you had made a connection with someone, this was going to be her day
"Rose has told me everything but I want more details later." She ordered as the music began to play which meant it was time for her to start walking. Her father came over and smiled, 
"I mean it, I want to know everything." She whispered before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and straightened her dress.
Namjoon and you hooked hands as you began to get ready to walk down the aisle together. The Church was filled with all of Jae-ah's family and Josh's family and everyone was watching Jae-Ah walk down the aisle but you knew the girls would be watching you. Namjoon gave your hand a squeeze to signal it was time to walk and you smiled beginning to walk and hoping you didn't fall flat on your face in front of everyone.
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Sitting in the first pew Namjoon kept his arms around you, holding you close to him, fingers running up and down your arms whenever he had the chance. If his arms weren't around you they were on you. Holding your hand, kissing you whenever the priest or Jae-Ah said something cute. 
"Look at that, young love." You had someone whisper in the row behind you. Throughout the ceremony, you could feel eyes on you or hear whispers about you.
"It's cute, I always thought Y/n would be alone." Namjoon pressed a kiss on your cheek to prove a point of you not being alone. Something you had been dreading for a while but now it was a distant memory, all you needed was Namjoon.
"You can see how much he cares, look at the way he's watching her instead of the wedding," Glancing to Namjoon he stared at you while blushing, making you giggle a little. Snuggling into Namjoon you drowned everything else around you out, not wanting to hear anything other than the wedding and Namjoon. Your mind went back to what he had been saying that morning. Hands all over your body, leaving kisses wherever he could leave them. Neither of you had wanted to leave the hotel room but you had to and even when you did his hands were all over. Never giving you a moment of peace - not that you wanted him to. 
"Namjoon," You whined when he pushed his hand onto your thigh, rubbing softly as he massaged your skin.
"We're in the house of jesus," You whimpered as he chuckled a little, rubbing a little higher.
"He's not watching,"
"No, but people behind us are." He pouted a little and shook his head at you,
"I miss you."
"You had me this morning." You reminded him as you glanced at Jae-ah who was beginning to give her vows.
"You don't miss me? Buried deep inside of you?" His breath caught on your ear and you closed your eyes, squeezing your legs together at the thought of him.
"Fuck.Yes. B-But shh," notices at him you continued letting him run his hands up and down your back as you watched your best friend marrying the love of her life.
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The after-party was being held in the hotel you had all been staying in. A private bar for everyone to attend to with a large dance floor for you all to let loose and have some fun. 
"She looks happy," Namjoon whispered to you as he looked over at Jae-ah and Josh. Dancing together as their first dance together, her head resting on his chest while he pressed her close to him. 
"They've known each other long enough...I once threatened that if he didn't propose before she was 30 I would." You laughed watching as she glanced over at you and blew you a kiss.
"You would?" Namjoon questioned a little surprised.
"Totally," You laughed as you remembered writing it down and signing it along with Jae-ah.
"But then how would you find the love of your life?" Glancing to Namjoon you shrugged your shoulders,
"I would have Jae-ah." You laugh making your way over to the bar and giggling as Namjoon watched you. 
"Can I have two long island iced teas?" You paid for the drinks and a guy walked up behind you and grabbed your ass. 
"Fuck, look at you. Sex on legs." You stepped away from the guy moving away and shaking your head at whoever the guy was. You'd never seen him before and he wasn't a relative of Jae-ah's.
"I don't know you, please don't." You were polite enough about it but he shook his head and stepped closer to you, the stench of alcohol dripping from him.
"Come on now, I'm only playing. Can you just have some fun?!" He reached for your ass again but Namjoon grabbed his wrist and twisted it a litte. Not enough to hurt him but enough to apply enough pressure to warn him about leaving you alone.
"She has enough fun with me." Smiling up at Namjoon you asked him to stop but his grip stayed locked around the man's wrist as he whimpered. Gaining the attention of other guests who were beginning to turn and look at him. 
"Bro, chill. It was just a small touch." The drunk stuttered as he held his wrist, trying to get away from Namjoon.
"Touch her again and it'll be the last thing you do." He barked, finally releasing the guy and letting him walk away, Namjoon turned to you as he collected the drinks.
"Protective just like a real boyfriend," Jae-ah whispered in your ear as she smirked, it was clear that she knew something was going on but not exactly what it was.
"What?" You played dumb, looking at her as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder.
"You think I don't see the way he stares at you? We all see it," She informed you as you looked down at the floor, shaking your head.
"You're seeing things." Scoffing at you she rubbed the back of your neck softly.
"Namjoon has the hots for you and you have them for him. That love bite on his neck is very telling." She giggled as Namjoon began to make his way over to you both,
"Jae-ahhh." You whined, dragging out her name when you saw the love bite to which she was referring. One you had given to him that morning before leaving the hotel to get to the church.
"Don't Jae-ahhh me, I want details! I thought this was all some fake thing! Do the girls know?!" You rolled your eyes, turning to face her with a serious look on your face. All of this was new to you and you didn't know what was going to happen with Namjoon yet.
"No...Yes...I don't know, but please...Please don't say anything. it's been such a nice thing being in a world of our own." She touched your cheek and nodded, she could see how much all of it meant to you so she was going to keep her mouth zipped.
"I won't say a word, promise."
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Namjoon had his arms wrapped around your waist. It was almost 11 at night, pitch black inside of the bar beside the disco lights and Namjoon was getting handsy again. Maybe it had been the drinks you'd been having together or the fact that it was a wedding but you were enjoying it.
"You're so needy," You whispered as he spun you into his arms, swaying with you on the dance floor in time to the slow music that was playing.
"Do you blame me?" He whispered in your ear as he left a small and gentle kiss on your neck.
"No...I'm needy for you too." You admitted you had been all day and night but now it was finally quiet enough for you both to sneak off somewhere and be alone.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah...What do you want?" You whimpered as he turned you around. Standing behind you as he swayed from side to side, pushing his hard cock against your ass as he whined.
"I want to mark you, spank your ass, tie you up and cum deep inside of that perfect little pussy so much that it overflows. Bring you back out here and dance until someone noticies my cum dripping from your perfect little cunt.” Your legs buckled and he smirked knowing just what his words did to you. 
"The cookie crumbles, look at you all needy do you need me buried inside of the cunt? Were the last four days of us and the hotel room not enough? You need more?” All you wanted to do was scream yes and make him fuck you right there and then but he kept going, running his hand over your breasts.
 “I want to eat you out until you’re screaming my name until you have a sore throat and can’t speak a word to anyone. Until my name is the only thing the rest of the hotel knows.," Hands gripping him tightly as you turned to look up at him, mouth-watering at the thought of it. 
"Think we can make it to the hotel room?" He quizzed as you shook your head, 
"Take me in the bathroom." Your ordered as you began dragging him in the direction of the bathrooms you had passed earlier that night.
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The two of you had been making out in the bathroom when he suddenly put you onto the bathroom counter, hiking your dress up to see you weren't wearing underwear. Once again.
"Fuck look at you." Smirking you slowly began to spread your legs for him to see and he whined pushing one finger into making your head roll back against the mirror.
"Always so tight and ready for me," Hums as he pushes his finger further into you, curling it at that one spot that made your head spin.
"You love my fingers, don't you? You want more." You shook your head at him, that wasn't what you needed at all.
"No? What do you want." He chuckled a little in surprise as you pulled him closer to you, running your hands up to his face and touching his lips.
"Your mouth."
"My mouth?" He chuckled as he realised what you were trying to get at.
"How about you ride my face, princess?" He smirked looking at you as he laid you down on the floor, pussy clenching around nothing as you watch him get ready for you.
"Come on baby, come and ride my face." You practically rushed over to him, hovering above him a little. A little scared to ride his face the way he wanted you to, it wasn't something you had done before only seen in movies.
"Straddle my face baby girl," Whimpering you straddled his face and he pulled you down to rest on his face, wanting this to feel as good as possible for you. Your head rolled back and your hands clenched his thighs as you screamed out his name when he pushed his tongue into your entrance. Wasting no time in teasing you as he ate you out as though you were the only meal he'd had in months. 
"Oh shit look how hard you are." Giggling a little you took him out of his pants and began pumping him before putting him in your mouth, sucking the tip as you moaned around him. His tongue working wonders all over your cunt as you gripped his thigh. 
"Oh shit," You cried out as your hips bucked against him, feeling yourself getting closer as the band inside of you tightened. As you tried to get up Namjoon growled and forced you down onto his tongue. Circling and swirling inside of you as he pulled away for just a second.
"Cum, cum on my face," Whimpering at him you didn't know if he was sure about that.
"You want me to cum on your face?"
"I want you to cum on my face," All he did was grip you tighter and pushed his tongue back into your dripping core. Screaming his name out your thighs clamped around him whimpering and bucking against his face.
"Shit! Namjoon! Holy fuck!" Your hands slapped his thighs as you shook your head, feeling the knot finally snap as you came around his tongue, screaming his name for anyone walking by to hear. 
"Come here," He smirked as he bent you over the counter you had originally been sitting on, making you look at yourself in the mirror as he smirked at you from behind. 
"Such a pretty little pussy," He moaned as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds, humming as he watched the way he sank into you. 
"T-That's it, baby, suck me in." He grunted snapping his hips into you as you gripped onto the sides of the counter.
"Shit," You glance at him as he thrusts into you, a devilish smirk played on his lips as you lifted one of your legs up onto the counter to let him hit deeper.
"Just like that!" You cried out as your hand stretched out to grip onto something, hitting against the mirror as you watched him fucking you. A small red blush on his cheeks as he continued to watch the way his cock disappeared into your core,
"Fuck I can never get enough of this, you just suck my cock in like it belongs to you." You moaned out as you rolled your hips back to meet him.
"It does! It belongs to me and I belong to you!" Slapping and grabbing your ass Namjoon began rolling your hips faster against him. 
"You like that?" He chuckled when he felt you clenching around him, another slap on the ass as you cried out his name. Nodding furiously as he began to thrust relentlessly into you.
"Yes! Don't stop!" You didn't care who heard, all you cared about was the building pressure in your stomach as you felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm fast approaching. Namjoon hummed as he began to suck on your neck, biting and sucking wherever he could.
"You like when I suck on your neck, don't you? When I bite so hard you clench around my fucking cock," Your eyes fluttered shut as you listened to every word he said,
"Shit Namjoon!" You moaned out as he reached down between you to rub your clit for you. Hands fumbling to find something sound to grip onto.
"Who own's you? Who do you belong to?" Grinning from ear to ear you glanced at him in the mirror. His favourite thing to hear was that you belonged to him,
"You!" The thing he hated most was when you didn't moan out his name.
"Say my name." He smirks thrusting harder and faster into you as he stared at you in the eyes, fucking rougher into you.
"You're fucking mine, my girl, my princess, my- f-fuck! Fuck- you're mine." Moaning out at his small whimpers you nodded, bucking back against him wanting to feel the tension snap inside of you.
"I'm yours! I'm all yours! Namjoon! Fuck!" You screamed out as he watched you in the mirror. 
"You wanna cum? Right in here when anyone could walk in." Whining at him you nodded your head over and over again, desperate to feel the familiar sensation of cumming for him.
"Fuck. please Namjoon let me cum!" You begged with pleading eyes, crying out as he slapped and grabbed your ass, rocking himself faster into you as he nodded.
"G-Good girl, begging like that for me." He praised as you clenched around him, toes curling as you felt the pressure beginning to build.
"N-Namjoon." You warned as you glanced over at him,
"Mmm, you're dripping down my fucking cock and all over the floor, You want it?" You knew he was asking if you wanted him to cum inside and you begged him once again.
"Need it. I need you to fill me up...Please," 
"Please?" He chuckled a little and you whimpered at him, ready to scream and plead for him to fill you up if that was what it took.
"Just fucking do it! F-Fill me up with your cum I need to feel it. Don't you dare stop until I feel it dripping it out of me!" Smirking at your orders he nodded as he began to fuck harder and faster into you. Hitting your tipping point as your legs began shaking and you screamed his name out, cumming around him but he continued to fuck into you.
"S-Shit," He grunted pushing as deep as possible into you until he finished cumming into you. Giggling you felt his cum dripping out of you and down your thighs, the best part was whenever he came inside of you.
"I don't wanna move." You whispered to him, keeping your hands pressed on his ass to stop him from moving away from you.
"You have a party go finish." He reminded you as he kissed your neck sweetly where he had been biting and sucking harshly.
"I want to go back to our hotel room and never leave, ever again." As amazing as that sounded to Namjoon he couldn't let you do that, this was your last night here.
"It's your last night in vegas...Let's go have a couple of drinks and then I'll take you to the room...Promise." You pouted at him as you realised he was going to make you socialise some more.
"Promise?" He nods and they head out to go and have some more drinks.
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A couple of  drinks turned into too many drinks and you were all over the place, stumbling and giggling whenever Namjoon spoke to you. You'd lost the ability to walk straight and that wasn't because of your antics in the bedroom. Jae-ah had been filling you up with as many drinks as she could thinking it would get the information out of you that she wanted but it didn't happen. You closed up and cuddled closer to Namjoon, the effects of the alcohol turning you into a cuddling teddy bear.
"Will you be okay with her?" An elderly woman asked as Namjoon picked you up bridal style and got ready to take you to the elevators. It was time for you to get to bed and everyone was worried you were too far gone to get some decent sleep.
"Perfect, I'll make sure she's okay." He promised as he stepped into the elevator, chuckling as you pulled him into a sloppy kiss, biting his ear.
"Fuck! Take me back, t-take me back to the hotel room and fuck me." You begged over and over again in his ear all the ride home to the honeymoon suite.
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Changing you out of your dress he put his shirt on you, the one you had met in and then he sat you up not wanting you to choke on your own tongue.
"Drink some of this." He chuckled as you swayed on the spot, watching as he gave you a glass of water. Carefully you began sipping the water he gave you and he laughed a little. 
"I'm not even that drunk," You said as you tried to stay as still as possible, only to almost fall and drop the water onto the floor beside the bed.
"Hmm-mm." Namjoon chuckled as he sat down in front of you and gave you some food and water before going over to the makeup counter. Grabbing makeup wipes and micellar water, he'd watched you do this the other night so he knew what he had to do.
"Stay still." He starts rubbing off your make-up, taking off lashes and then smiling as you smiled at him. Looking him in the eyes as you continued to just watch him,
"You have really pretty eyes." You hiccuped as he smiled, blushing a little as he looked back at you.
"Thank you, you do too," He whispered as he began wiping off the lipstick you had been wearing,
"You're handsome." You whispered, not understanding why you were suddenly whispering but continued to do so anyway.
"Thank you." He laughed again, putting the wipes into the bin and joining you back on the bed.
"You know...I thought I would never find someone I truly click with and I'm glad I found you." Namjoon began to take off your necklaces and then your rings, sliding off the fake engagement ring and putting it onto his bedside counter.
"No?" He questioned a little sad that you never thought you could find someone.
"I thought I would die alone." Namjoon carefully began to lay you down and you snuggled into the sheets, taking in a big deep breath and smiling uncontrollably.
"Smells like you." Namjoon stopped himself from laughing as you began sniffing the shirt you were wearing.
"That's because it's my shirt."
"Can I keep it?" Watching the way your eyes fluttered shut and you clutched the shirt he nodded,
"Sure."
"I want to wear it home on my flight...Always smell of you." You whispered as he began to get into the bed beside you, laying your head on his chest.
"Sure thing baby, you wear it." Chuckling he added another blanket over you not want you to get too cold in the middle of the night.
"Hey, Namjoon?" You looked at him even though your eyes were closed and he looked back at you, running his hand over your face.
"Yes?"
"I really like you...A lot, I think I might even love you." Biting his lip he smiled,
"That would be sweet if you weren't drooling over yourself." Getting up from the bed he rushed to get you a bin to put beside the bed for the morning or in the night in case you got sick. When he came back in you were cuddled into the sheets,
"Hey, Y/n?"
"Hmm?" You rolled over to the sound of his voice and he smiled.
"I think I might love you too." When you said nothing he frowned and moved closer to you, shaking his head when he realised that you were sound asleep.
"Cute." Sitting in the bed beside you he watched you, making sure you didn't get sick in your sleep and he waited all night. Holding you and comforting you while he played with the ring in his hand.
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Moaning as you rolled over you whined when you saw Namjoon missing, you sat up and looked around for him anxiously. You were dressed in one of his shirts and there was the fresh smell of his aftershave in the air.
"Joonie?" You called out, turning to look over at the other side of the room when you heard Namjoon's voice.
"I'm here," Laying back down in the bed you rolled onto your other side you saw Namjoon bringing in room service on a tray with lots of bottled water. Your mouth was beyond dry from the alcohol you had been drinking before so you smiled at him.
"I got a huge fatty breakfast to soak up all of the alcohol." He pointed at you as you giggled, pulling back the sheets so he could come and join you in the bed.
"Fuck, you're amazing." Sitting up carefully he looked at you and handed you some painkillers, as well as a carbonated drink telling you that it would help get your sugar levels back up.
"I know which is why we're not leaving this bed." He chuckled as he sat down on the bed and carefully put the tray of food on his lap. Feeding you carefully as you watched him closely.
"Would it be weird if I said I didn't want to leave you?" You questioned as he shook his head,
"No. Would it be weird if I said I didn't want you to go?" Smiling in relief that the feeling was mutual you turned to look at him and shook your head.
"No." Everything inside of you wanted you to stay right there with Namjoon, to never go home to your old life ever again.
"Tell me more about your life...I want to know everything." You whispered as he began to feed you some more of the food from the plate. Making sure you were feeding him as well.
"Everything?"
"Yeah...Are you a dog or a cat person? Favourite colour? Icecream?" Small basic things that you didn't know about him, you knew everything important but you didn't know small things people would get to know about one another over the first date.
"Hm. Dogs white and vanilla." Scoffing at him you began shaking your head, there was no way he liked vanilla.
"Vanilla!? Thats' s fucking boring," You cried out as he pushed some toast into your mouth, staring at you in surprise.
"Boring?!" He acted offended, hand over his chest as he ignored you.
"Yeah! Who likes just vanilla?" You mumbled at him, shaking your head over and over again.
"Me!" He laughs and shakes his head back at you, going back to telling you everything about his life back home.
"There isn't much...I'm not married, I don't have kids...I flew to Vegas on a whim with the boys and met someone I care deeply about." With a mouth full of food you looked up at him, you swallowed everything and teared up. 
"You did?"
"I did." He whispered before you pushed him into the mattress and began to kiss him desperately, hands rushing into his hair as he pushed the covers off you both and turned you around. Carefully laying you down onto the bed before he kissed your neck, unbuttoning each and every button slowly on your shirt.
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In the midst of getting everything ready, you completely forgot to exchange socials or numbers with Namjoon. The number of your plane was being called and Rose was screaming for you to leave. It wasn't as though you had been in a huge rush that morning but being with Namjoon it slipped your mind. Forgetting that you didn't know one another outside of Las Vegas.
"I have to go." You whispered as you heard Rose screaming from the terminal where the stewardesses were waiting. You were one of the last people boarding and they were ready to leave. 
"I'll miss you," Namjoon whispered as he kissed you softly, holding your face in his hand which only made you want to stay more but he couldn't stop himself.
"Namjoon-" You whimpered feeling yourself begin to tear up as you stared at him, Rose storming over to you.
"I know," He whispers kissing you softly once again, he knew you were going to say it and he wanted to beat you to it.
"I love you too." Winking at you you shook your head and began to cry. Pushing your forehead against his and whimpering. You didn't want to leave. You wanted to hold him. Kiss him. Never leave him. 
"Y/n! We're going to miss the flight," Rose said from behind you as she took your hand in hers trying to pull you,
"You should go." She whispered not wanting to be mean to you since you clearly wanted to say goodbye.
"I don't want to."
"Our paths will cross again one day," Namjoon whispered as he began to watch you. Crying heavily Rose dragged you down the terminal crying and sobbing into your hands as you try to yell out your number to Namjoon when the doors slam. Making you whimper harder as you were directed back to your seat.
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"You've been mopping around here for months. I'm sick of it." Rose mumbled as she watched you staring at the sandwich in front of you. Wearing Namjoon's shirt, you'd washed it and worn it so much it no longer smelt like him but you weren't yourself anymore. You didn't go out to girls nights, you stopped working as much overtime. You weren't yourself anymore and Rose was done pussy-footing around you like Jae-ah had been doing. Everyone was being so sweet and understanding but she was done, you had to get over yourself.
"Rose-" Jae-ah warned, watching as Rose shook her head and threw her hands up in defeat.
"No. She's being pathetic. Just because he gave you a good dicking doesn't-" Finally having enough of her calling Namjoon nothing more than a dick in you stood up suddenly.
"Shut up! You don't get it, Just because you wouldn't know true love if it slapped you in the face!" You screamed out only for Rose to laugh in your face.
"True love?! Are you fucking dumb?! He used you, he saw you as an easy lay and used you." She repeated over and over again as you shook your head, walking away from her as you made your way out of Jae-ah's house.
"No! You don't get to say that to me," Jae-ah watched as Rose began to chase after you and she had enough. Rubbing her baby bump she shook her head at her friend,
"ROSE!"
"She's depressing! All she does is cry around all day whimpering and moaning about how she's lost him and I've had enough of it."
"Rose!" Jae-ah screamed again finally losing it,
"No. Don't fucking Rose me I'm done. If you want to stick around and let her be a pathetic little girl then be my guest but I'm not going to pity her!" You appeared back in the room and stared at Rose, she was supposed to be one of your friends and yet she was saying all of this about you.
"Namjoon cares about me!"
"Then where is he?! Huh?! He knows where you live, he knows what school you work in and he hasn't tried to contact you in four months? Sounds like he truly cares." Yelling at her you grabbed a plate and smashed it onto the floor, rushing out to the porch as you collapsed onto the stairs, crying into your hands.
"Well done Rose. Well done. Jealous much?!" Jae-ah yelled before rushing out after you.
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"Leave me alone Jae-Ah, I don't want to hear about Rose is just stressed and hormonal because she's knocked up." You mumbled sitting on the porch swing and wiping the tears away from your cheeks. 
"I was going to say let's go out tonight...Just me and you." You looked at her, it would be the first time either of you got to be alone together in a while.
"Just me and you?" You questioned a little unsure and she nodded her head.
"Girls Night, a quiet meal...Then e can go to your place and have a movie night...Like the old days?" The offer sounded perfect for you, something nice and calm just the two of you.
"Sure...That would be great."
"Good...Go home and shower..." She ordered helping you up as she watched you heading towards your car.
"Hey Y/n...Do me a favour?... Don't wear that shirt to dinner...Let's dress up fancy." Nodding you leave and head home to your apartment, ready to find the fanciest thing you owned.
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Sitting at the table you watched as a waiter came over and dropped off a card that was from Jae-ah. Her scribbling hand writing written on the back of some cute note.
I knew you would only say no if I asked. Please don't be mad at me. Enjoy the blind date.
Screwing up the note you were about to stand up when someone placed their hands on the table in front of you from behind you. Their body pressed against the back of your chair as they began bending down to whisper in your ear. 
"Our paths have crossed again." Shivering you looked up and resisted the urge to kiss him dramatically as he sat down in front of you. Gasping not believing that he was really sitting there across from you at the table, tears threatened to spill.
"When? How did you- When did you?" There were so many questions you wanted to ask but you didn't know where to start.
"I've lived in Seoul most of my life...Your friend, Jae-Ah...She contacted me to tell me how much you missed me-" Picking up a bread roll you shook your head and threw it at his head, laughing as it bounced off and landed back onto the table.
"I missed you too." He whispered as he stretched his hand out on the table and took your hand into his, you smiled feeling his hands on yours. Never wanting to let go of him ever again.
"Four months." You reminded him of how much time had passed and he nodded his head, 
"I never want to be away from you for that long ever again." Namjoon breathed out finally feeling as though he was home again for the first time in months. The amount of pain he had felt by not chasing after you killed him but he didn't know if you wanted that, he knew you had both said you loved one another but he was unsure of everything.
"Then don't ever leave me again." You whispered as he kissed the top of your hand.
"You left me." He teased playfully as you waved your hands at him and shook your head.
"Shh...Details details." Giggling at him he shook his head and reached into his pocket. Looking at you as he pulled out the ring he'd taken from you the night you'd gotten wasted and you gasped. The fake engagement ring in hand he smiled at you, 
"Another fake engagement for a little fun?" You questioned as you frowned looking at it when he suddenly dropped down onto one knee, taking your hand in his and smiling.
"Just one engagement...Just for real this time...I've never made a connection with someone like you before and I need you in my life."
"You do?"
"Yes. I need you around, being away from you was complete and utter torture...I can't do that again and we don't have to marry right away we can just wait and stay engaged-" Namjoon was suddenly cut off as you dropped to the floor in front of him and began to kiss him over and over again. Humming and moaning a yes against his lips.
"I'll marry you, Fuck yes. I'll marry you." Slides the fake ring onto your finger, smiling at the small ring as you looked at it. You didn't care that it was fake. The love was real.
"We're really doing this?" You questioned as he looked at you, nodding his head at you.
"We're really going to do this," He smiled as he looked down at the ring on your finger, both of you smiling and thanking those who were congratulating you in the restaurant.
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"And that ladies and gentlemen is how I managed to get them together," Jae-ah laughed as she looked over at the tables at your wedding reception. She'd given the epic tale of your love, minus the whole sex charade and embarrassing moments from your parents and young listeners. She hadn't missed a single detail, right down to the fake ring,
"Was the engagement ring fake?" You held up your hand to your cousin who had asked and nodded, the ring you wore as the engagement ring is still fake you didn't want to remove it. It was something special to the two of you.
 "Still is, but the wedding band is real." Namjoon answered as he chuckled softly, kissing your hand as your auntie stood up and looked at you both.
"Will you get a real one?" The two of you exchanged looks before shaking your heads and smiling at one another.
"Fake one is perfect." You whispered before kissing your husband softly, running your hands over his cheek as he chuckled softly.
"This is why I am the maid of honour and will be a godmother if they have kids." Everyone cheers and raising their glasses to you as Jae-ah smiled at you,
"I wish them eternal happiness in this life and many more." Repeating the words back to you and Namjoon the room cheered and toasted to your new and happy life together.
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Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @sweeneyblake​ @agustdjoon​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​
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solarwonux · 2 months ago
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Ramen? || Namjoon 
pairing: college!Namjoon x f!reader
w.c: 5k 
genre: 18+, smut, fluff, humor
warnings: the lamppost namjoon picture, yes this a warning, smut, protected sex, edging, kind off orgasm denial if you squint, oral sex f!receiving, fingering, reader is obsessed with Namjoon’s tiddies lol, Namjoon is impatient lol, a 20 year old age gap but its not namjoon nor the reader. 
synopsis: He read all the signs wrong, but in his defense, according to Jungkook asking someone up for ramen is basically code for sex. Right? 
note: I’ve had this idea in the back of my brain for months, probably a year. And then the lamppost picture surfaced and wtf was I supposed to do. So I finally wrote it. I hope you all enjoy it. lmk your thoughts please. Thank you xx
masterlist
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Namjoon leaned against the lamppost, his left over bag in his hand, his eyes sparkling in adoration as he watched you walk up the front steps of your apartment building. He couldn’t believe that after pining after you for more than a year he finally got the guts to ask you out. 
Of course, it took a few shots of coffee, four to be exact and an embarrassing pep talk in the mirror of the men’s restroom. The two men that had walked in looked at him like he had grown a third head overnight. The apples of his cheeks had flushed a deep rose when he made eye contact with them through the large communal mirror, but he ignored them. The chances of him seeing them again were slim to none. Namjoon had a very intricate daily routine, everything in its place like neatly stacked cubes. He’d wake up at seven, work out at seven thirty, eat breakfast at eight thirty, shower at nine and was out of the house by nine thirty for his class at ten. After that he’d head to the office and stay there for most of the day working on his thesis and grading student papers for Dr. Min, until dinner which was at seven. 
For most days, he’d forget the simple things humans needed to survive. Like food, water, sleep and coffee. The latter being the one thing he needed to survive. And the one thing he always had by his side no matter how busy he was, only because every day at around two-thirty you’d waltz in with the brightest smile on your face to give him his daily cup of espresso, sometimes two. If it wasn’t for the fact that your step father was Dr. Min - a fact that made him shudder a little because he wasn’t old enough to be your father, probably your brother but not father - Namjoon would have never laid his eyes on you. 
Though when he did, it felt like the whole world froze. Like birds were singing in the distance and the colors around him got a little brighter for a few seconds. He didn’t say a word to you. Could barely mutter out a ‘thank you’ when your daily coffee run didn’t stop at just Dr. Min’s desk and you made your way to him with his own cup of coffee. 
To say the least he was floored. Hands subtly shaking as he reached out to grab the foam cup from your hand. 
After a year, he finally got the guts to ask you. Had even asked Dr. Min for permission in which the man just laughed and brushed him off. 
Now he was here, looking at you unlock your door and his heart was beating faster than he could ever imagine. Telling himself to give Yoongi a call - he was his speed dial for emergencies - just to make sure he wasn’t going to pass out, suffer from cardiac arrest or a hyperactive heart. Though he was short of complaining. Even if tonight was his last night of being alive, just the fact that he was able to make you laugh and hold your hand while he walked you home. Was enough.
You were enough. 
“Namjoon.” You call out. His ears perk up and he stands up straight. Awkwardly using the lamppost for support. He watches as you fidgeted with your house keys, biting your bottom lip as your eyes move from his to the floor. “Do you want to come inside, um, you know, for some ramen or something?” You shrug, shifting your balance from foot to foot. 
His palms grew sweaty as he took in your words. The two of you haven’t even shared a kiss yet. An unspoken promise to leave that for the second date; that’s if he made it through the night alive. And you were always inviting him inside your place. The one your mom and Yoongi gifted you as their wedding present. Inviting him in for ramen out of all the things. He wasn’t sure, he didn’t go out much but according to Jungkook - the kid he tutored every Wednesday afternoon - being invited in for ramen was basically code for sex. 
Was he ready for that step? That step with you. 
“Joon,” you say, walking down the steps. There was still distance between the two of you, but he could feel you. It was overwhelming. “Do you want to come in?  Every time mom and Yoongi come over they always bring me endless packets of ramen. It’s like they think that’s the only thing I eat. I have enough to share.” 
“Are you asking me to fuck?” His eyes go wide as soon as the words leave his mouth. This was the problem. The reason why he delayed asking you out for so long. He didn’t think before he spoke. 
“Shit, sorry.” He put his hand over his mouth and turned around. What a shitty way to end a date. Now he was more than positive, that a kiss from you and a second date was out of the question; because he had just fucked up. Royally. 
“Wait Namjoon.” You giggle, wrapping your hand around his wrist. All throughout the night you had enjoyed the warmth against your cold hands. And despite your earlier intentions being much more innocent then what he had concluded. You couldn’t help but wonder how they would feel against your body. 
“I wasn’t asking that, but would it be so bad if I was?” You whisper, while he turns around. His ears are as red as the brick wall of the abandoned mart the two of you passed a few blocks down the street. He was equally as shocked as you were. Truth be told your heart was pounding at an odd meter. Maybe you’d have to call Yoongi just to make sure you weren’t actually dying, because with the amount of adrenaline coursing through your veins you were ready to explode.
This is the boldest you have ever been. It took your last boyfriend eight months to convince you to have sex with him. With Namjoon it took six words and a look masked with confusion. With Namjoon you were ready to risk it all. 
“A-Are you, y-you want to h-have sex? With me? Right now?” 
You laugh, walking a bit closer and wrapping your arms around his waist. He gasped, holding his hands out away from your body, not knowing what to do with them. “Let’s just see where the night takes us. I just don’t want to let go of you yet.” You tilt your head to the side looking up at him. He was only a few inches taller than you, built like a daydream and you wanted to sink your teeth into him. Leave your mark on every inch of his body. 
“Is the ramen you have spicy? I can’t eat spicy food.” Looking around, the empty street was surprisingly interesting. The isolation, the calm, the peace felt easy. A huge juxtaposition to what he was feeling inside. 
“Nope.” You say popping the ‘p’ it sounded so melodic. Namjoon never wanted to stop hearing it. “Maybe a little salty, maybe a little sweet. All depends on your taste buds. But nothing spicy.” 
Okay, maybe he should’ve listened more to Jungkook instead of trying to get him to concentrate on general calculus. Maybe somewhere in that long dispute of derivatives and his long list of one night stands, Namjoon would have picked up something useful. For this exact moment. The innuendo definitely didn’t go amiss. Suddenly he was wondering what the inside of your apartment looked like. What your bed looked like. Was it soft? Was it firm? Did you own a bunch of decorative pillows and plushies? Or were you simple? Two? Four pillows at most? 
He needed to know. 
“Let’s go.” 
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Namjoon wasn’t the best cook. Could get away with cereal at most, and ramen if he gave it the extra utmost care, but never actual meals. Tonight though he wouldn’t be wowing you with his award winning ramen skills. The quick pop of the soaked noodles into the microwave was enough to let you know. 
He entertained the idea as did you. The minute he stepped into your apartment he didn’t have enough time to take it all in because the next thing he knew you were throwing two packets of the plastic wrapped noodles at him. That he barely caught. Too nervous to function. Then you disappeared, with a quick word to make himself at home and that you were going into the bathroom. 
So he busied himself. Opened all your kitchen cabinets until he found the bowls. Filled it up halfway with tap water, put in the noodles and popped it into the microwave. For two minutes. Then repeated the process.  Now he was alone, leaning against the counter, nursing his own bowl in his hands, waiting for it to cool down. The hum of the microwave, creating a serene melody while he counted to sixty in French in order to calm his nerves. 
Why were you taking so long? 
Namjoon was on his third recount and on the number quarantine-cinq when you walked in. A silk navy blue robe wrapped around your body, leaving very little to his imagination. And he had no trouble when it came to using it. He could only picture what you were wearing underneath that’s if you were wearing anything at all. 
His mouth went dry. 
“Do they taste good?” You didn’t even try to hide the wittiness in your voice. Seriously, you might just be his cause of his death. 
“Don’t know, haven’t taken a bite yet.” He shrugs, setting the bowl next to him on the counter. The microwave beeps, making him jump. His sensors were a bit overloaded. Especially now that you started to walk over to him and he had nowhere to go. He was entrapped, enticed and ready to succumb to you. 
“Want to see my room?” You reach your hand out to him once you were a bit closer. He’s out of words, which isn’t normal for Namjoon. No matter the situation he always had something to say. Except for tonight. So he does the only thing he can do and takes your hand, letting you lead him to the most intimate place in your apartment. 
Your bedroom. 
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He can’t take it anymore. He does a quick look over of  your room. Noting that it was every bit of you dumped into one place. He knew you were a six pillow kind of person. That didn’t include the decorative pillows and stuffed animals. Was it possible to be even more turned on? 
“Cute.” Namjoon mumbles, tugging on your arm and reeling you in. He can finally function properly, or at least somewhat. 
“Namjoon, I love the sound of your voice but please just kiss me.” You breathe out. Your chest was already heaving like you had just finished running a marathon. 
His arm circles around your waist, pressing both of your bodies together. “Promise me a second date first.” He tilts his head and starts to lean in licking his lips. 
“After tonight, I don’t think I’d want you to ever leave.” You confess. Namjoon’s lips centimeters away. One of his hands moves to the front of your body toying with the knot of your robe and finally he closes the distance. Kissing you gently at first, testing the waters. When you don’t push him away, he kisses you harder. Sinking into the way your lips feel on his as you kiss him back with equal ferocity. Desperate to get to the part the two of you craved the most. 
His warm body on yours with nothing in between. 
You pull away first, tugging on his shirt. “Take it off please.” 
He smirks, pulling it over his head and throws it  aside. Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets. The dim yellow light of your lamp, didn’t do him any justice. You could only imagine what he looked like in bright clear lighting. Either way he looked beautiful, his caramel skin, so soft, so hot, so rigid, so delicious. You felt weak. 
“Like what you see?” He says, untying your robe. Letting the ties fall at their sides. His hands go to his sides immediately. He won’t lie, he's a little scared to find out what you’re hiding underneath. Despite the wave of confidence that surged through him at your reaction to his almost nakedness. He still felt a bit faint. 
You hum and nod your head fervently. You lift your shoulders a bit letting your robe slide off, revealing your smooth naked skin. Namjoon swallows thickly, throws his head back, hitting the back of his head against your wall. Another one of his questions was answered. 
You were wearing nothing. 
“Look at me.” You say, taking your time in slowly sliding off the silky garment. Namjoon obeys, his eyes illuminating in hunger, full of lust watching your every move with intensity. The second it falls to the floor, pooling coolly at your feet. His arms are around your waist guiding you to your bed with determination. 
Neither of you had ever wanted someone as much as you wanted one another. And that had to count for something. It had to mean something and to think that tonight was just the start. 
“You’re so beautiful, oh my god.” He lays you down gently, bends your knees and opens your legs. You still smell like earth with a little bit of rose. A smell he was all too familiar with. He figures you weren’t just giving yourself a pep talk, like he would’ve when you had disappeared into the bathroom. You were literally getting yourself ready for him and that made his cock twitch. 
He takes a look at your wet center. His mouth waters. It makes him fall onto his knees in surrender. “Can I eat you out?” He asks, kissing up your right leg. Biting down on the inside of your thigh, making your leg twitch in protest. He chuckles, runs his tongue over the bite mark and continues his journey up. 
He truly couldn’t believe it. Whenever you wore dresses, shorts, jeans or those tight slacks. Basically anything. All he could do was imagine himself leaving his mark all over your legs, until he could devour you. That’s a promise he’s determined to keep for another day. Today he’s teetering on the same level of desire as you. Taking it slow was never in the equation. 
That’s the reason why he prolonged his leave earlier. Other than the fact that he wanted to see you get into your place safely. He also didn’t want to leave and was hoping you would turn around again to ask him if he wanted to walk around the block one more time. It would’ve been the fifth time that night. 
“Can I?” He asks again, blowing gently against your pussy. Amused with the way it clenches around nothing, you’re already a moaning mess and he has barely done anything. 
It was beautiful. 
“Yes Namjoon, please want to finally feel your mouth on me.” You gasp, when he connects his lips onto your engorged clit. He leaves a gentle peck before making his way down, his tongue poking out, enough to tease you. 
“Finally, huh?” He licks a stripe up your wet lips. This was better than anything he had ever imagined. Better than the bowls of ramen sitting forgotten on your kitchen counter. 
“Yes finally, don’t stop please.” Tangling your fingers into his hair. He kisses you, his tongue poking in and out, slurping up your wetness. It’s driving you insane. You knew his mouth was perfect. Kissing wasn’t the only thing those lips could do and now you were experiencing the wonders first hand. It was everything you had ever imagined and better.
He pulls away, licking his lips, a plea falling out of your mouth as he places both of your legs over his shoulders. “You’ve imagined what it was like for me to eat you out?” Before you could answer his middle finger is prodding at your entrance, while his thumb circling over your clit slowly. “Bet you’ve touched yourself too, thinking of me.” 
You nod, hissing, bucking your hips up to his hand. “Want to know a secret?” He leans forward giving your calf a kiss, while he pushes his finger inside. The two of you moan simultaneously. It felt better than your fingers. That nice stretch was only something you could give yourself if you pushed in two. He had only had one in and it was nearly sending you over the edge. 
“W-What secret?” You arch your back as he starts moving his digit inside of you. Feeling around your walls, looking for that delicious spot of skin. He was determined to find it. Determined to give you everything your body needed. 
You were his top priority, now and possibly for the rest of his life. He was truly a character. He couldn’t quite understand how he was able to picture a future your future together while he was knuckle deep inside of you. 
“I think of you when I touch myself too.” His smile gets wider when you moan out loudly, his finger finally connecting to your g-spot. He hates to be the one comparing you to the other girls he’s been with, but this had to be a record. Your body was already tuning in nicely with his. And this was his first time with you. 
Maybe the two of you were meant to be. 
“Joonie I’m close don’t stop.” You practically scream when his tongue replaces his thumb. His fingers move in and out of you fast, massaging your g-spot every chance they got. When had he added another finger? You didn’t know. Not that you cared, you felt so good you didn’t want it to stop. You clench around him, tightly. Your orgasm is at its wits end and when you feel it almost pouring over you. He stops. 
Namjoon fucking stops. Pulls away, takes his fingers out, leaves a chaste kiss on your mound. A sly knowing smile etched on his wet lips. 
You’ve never wanted to punch anyone as bad as you did now. 
“I told you not to stop.” You pout and sit up on your elbows. Namjoon licks his fingers, keeping his burning gaze on yours, slurping and humming like he’s tasted the best meal ever and moves your legs down. 
“Want to feel you cum around me, not my fingers.” He shrugs and stands up. He unbuttons his jeans swiftly and brings them down, kicking them somewhere in your room. The outline of his cock against his boxers makes your mouth water and you nearly drool when he digs his palm into himself. 
“I can cum more than once, Joonie.” You state and move up on your bed, turning to the side to fish out a condom in your bedside drawer. You only kept them because a month ago Yoongi and your mom had given you the sex talk. It was awkward. Not like you needed it, you were twenty five for goodness gracious, only five years younger than your darling step-father. That’s a can of worms you didn’t want to get into. Especially not with Namjoon looking like he came straight out of a mythology book.
“I’ll keep that in my mind for another day.” He chuckles taking off his boxers, hissing when the cool air hits his cock. He’s basically weeping for you. 
“Here.” You throw the foil packet in his direction, pushing off the stuffed animals from your bed and laying down against your pillows. You were a little embarrassed when you had led Namjoon into your room. You didn’t have enough time to clean up the tiny mess of clothes on your desk chair and hide your stuffed animals. He probably didn’t care. His comment and the way he had kissed you was enough indication of that. 
Namjoon barely catches the foil packet, sending you a wink when he manages to trap it with his elbow against his pecks. Oh how you wanted to just kiss them, bite them, touch them. Make them yours and only yours. Then your eyes met his cock, standing nicely against his abdomen. The air leaves your lungs. You knew he was big, but you didn’t think he’d be that big. Everything was neatly proportioned and perfect, like god really took his sweet time when creating him, because no one could ever look as mouth watering as Namjoon. You figured he had saved a few civilizations in his past lives to be gifted with not just a perfect body, but a perfect brain, and a loving personality. Fuck, maybe you had saved the queen more than once to have Kim Namjoon kneeling on the edge of your bed, touching himself for you, rolling on a condom, getting ready to fuck you. 
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Namjoon moves between your legs, his palms on top of your inner thighs. His thumbs panting in soothing circles as he looks at you with so much care. 
“Me neither.” You lean up and kiss him. Nothing too forceful or needy. Just full of passion and all the love you could possibly grow for him. He holds you close to his body, as he kisses you back. Truly he could do this forever. Technically he’s already decided that when Yoongi is out of the office for the day he’s going to be calling you in just to kiss you. 
“Are you ready?” He breaks the kiss, breathing heavily pressing his forehead against yours. You smile, sending his heart into a frenzy of somersaults. If he wakes up tomorrow to seize the day it would be a miracle in and of itself. He’s seriously close to passing out. 
“Baby, you talk so much.” You laugh, giving his lips a few pecks. “Yes I’m ready.” You lay down again, circling your arms around his waist. 
“Sorry I’m nervous doll.” He grabs a hold of his cock, runs it up your folds, circling your clit a few times, wetting himself with your lust and lines himself up. You're exasperated, your chest is rising and falling. Small whimpers leaving your lips as you truly take everything in. This felt so different to you and you could only hope he felt the same way. 
Namjoon kisses you again and starts to push himself in. You gasp against his lips, dig your nails into his lower back, your pussy walls wrapping around him, welcoming him. He fists your sheets, moaning against your lips. He sounds so pretty. You want to spend the rest of your life just listening to him moan for you. 
“Do you think you can take me all in?” Nosing gently at your nose. Worry written all over his face. You place your hand on his cheek and kiss his nose. 
“I can, just give me a few seconds.” He nods. Connecting his lips to the base of your neck. He showers it with open mouthed kisses, distracting you as he continues to push himself in, earning sweet unsolicited moans from you. He bites down on the juncture between your neck and collar bone when he finally bottoms out. 
You feel so full, you’re practically gushing around him. Yet still desperate to feel closer to him. “Namjoon move, I can take it.” 
“Fuck, okay, I know this isn’t the best time but you sound so pretty.” He groans, pulling out just enough to thrust back in. Your back bows off the bed, one of your legs wrap around his waist, letting you feel him deeper. 
“I’ve been told I sound prettier when I cum.” You kiss his cheek. Your teasing words give him motivation to continue. A little bit of jealousy surges through him at the thought of others hearing you come undone. From now on he decides he wants to be the only one to witness that. 
“You feel so good around me doll, your pussy takes me in so well.” He mumbles against the skin of your neck. His thrusts get a bit faster, his cock pulsing against your walls. You were so tight around him that he was positive that no matter how long he were to finger you open, you’d still feel just as tight around him. 
“Joonie, I want it harder.” You mewl, grabbing a hold of his ass in an attempt to push him further into you. 
“Baby doll, you’re going to be the death of me.” He sits back on his heels, licking the tip of his thumb before placing it above your clit. “You should see how flawless you look right now.” He pushes in his cock, hard. Your mouth falls open, the pleasure coursing through you like a sweet euphoric wave. 
Your whines are now incoherent, overcome with pure pleasure. His thumb rubbing harsh circles. His cock deep inside of you, hitting all the right spots and angles. His eyes keep your gaze, never once letting you look away. It was like you were under a spell and every time your pussy sucked him in. You feel even deeper. 
“You're clenching around me baby, gonna cum?” You stop for a second, moving your leg up to his shoulder, laying down on top of you, careful enough not to crush you with his weight. You moan, the new position allowing you to feel everything. “Let go, I’m right fucking behind you.” He leans down, kissing you deeply, swallowing your moans. His tongue massaging your own. The added stimulation was enough to send you over the edge causing your orgasm to wash over you hard, keeping his cock locked in as he spilled his seed into the condom. He whispers your name like a sacred mantra against your lips. 
He continues to thrust into you, riding out your highs, painting beautiful praises into your mind with every sweet kiss he gives you. 
You whine when he finally pulls away, laying down next to you. His arm securely around your lower stomach. Both of your lungs racing against time as you try to regain your breathing. 
There’s a moment of silence before you're laughing out loud, burying your face into his chest. Namjoon is confused, but he doesn’t question it, instead he wraps his arms around your shoulders, his fingers twinkling down your back tickling you. It only makes you laugh harder. 
“What’s so funny?” Namjoon finally asks, leaving a gentle kiss against the crown of your head. You look up at him, tears running down your cheeks from how hard you were laughing. Even looking so fucked out, with tears running down your cheeks, you still looked beautiful. 
He was so whipped. 
“You, you opened your big mouth.” You take hold of his chin, grinning at the slight stubble that was starting to grow. “Asking you in for ramen wasn’t code for sex. Well I guess until now.” You giggle pecking his chest. One day you were going to devour his pecs, even if it was the last thing you were to do on this Earth. That’s a promise. 
“In my defense, the kids are using that for code. I didn’t know any better.” 
“I like it though. I can walk into Yoongi’s office ask you to get ramen with me and he won’t know I’m asking you to fuck me.” You say slyly. A playful grin, decorating your sweaty face.
Namjoon shakes his head, pinching the side of your hips gently. “He’s my research mentor, don’t do that.” 
“You’re acting like this isn’t the same guy that married my mom who is a good twenty years older than him. I think using code names for sex in front of him is the least I could do.” 
“Mhm, I guess you have a point.” Namjoon smiles, kissing your lips gently, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear. “Next time I’ll go slower.” He whispers, masking his sweet promise with another kiss before he sits up. 
Your fingers feel like a feather tickling his back as he removes the condom, ties it up and stuffs it back into the foil package, placing it on your bedside table. He makes a mental note to throw it away later. Right now he wants to hold you. You’re looking at him like he has the entire world in his hands. It unexplainable, truly he has no words but it makes him feel all giddy inside. 
“What do you like for breakfast?” You finally say when he lays down again, both arms and his right leg caging you in. He raises an eyebrow at you. The question catches him off guard, but he brushes off the numerous possibilities as to why you could be asking such a question. Surely you didn’t mean what he thought you meant with the question. It was impossible. First date, first kiss, first time having sex and first sleepover all in one night. Wrapped up with a beautiful bow to accompany the beautiful memories he’s made tonight. 
“Cereal most days but on special days I like avocado on toast with a poached egg.” He smiles smugly, proud of his breakfast choice. “Why?” 
“I want you to stay the night. I meant it when I told you it’d be impossible for me to let you go.” His chest feels like it’s on fire upon your revelation. Had he fucking won the lottery or something? Did helping that old lady cross the street while he was on his way to campus fill him up with immense luck? That’s what he felt, overwhelmingly lucky, that it was too good to be his reality. 
“You’re lucky I’ve recently mastered the skill of poaching eggs. I’ll make you a special breakfast tomorrow.” You nibble against his neck, tracing the vein up to his ear. “That’s if you can make me cum a few more times.” You bite down on his earlobe, pulling away from his face gently. Your hand snakes down in between your bodies grabbing hold of his semi-hard cock. Satisfied with the way he shuts his eyes, deep moans vibrating against his chest. He was truly fucked and half convinced that he wasn’t going to make it out alive tonight. Not that he wanted to, dying by your hand would be a true honor. 
“Five minutes, you up for it?” You run your thumb over his leaking tip. He was literally at your mercy. Anything you wanted he would do no questions asked. 
“Yes, fuck baby, don’t ever stop.”
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kookiesbuckethat · 2 months ago
Text
you sleep on the couch because of an argument
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Namjoon x f!reader
Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort
WC: 1.5k
<series masterlist>
tag list: @yzkyzkuniverse
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You sigh as you roll over for the tenth time in the past hour, unable to find a comfortable position alone in your bed that was meant for two. It was the fourth night in a row that Namjoon wasn’t coming home at all, and the hole in your heart was growing every day. 
Even on the nights that he did come home, he would have to carry your sleeping body from the couch to the bedroom because it was so late that you had already fallen asleep, no matter how hard you tried to stay awake for him. You never got to spend more than a few minutes awake with him before you both were falling asleep or he was leaving for work again the next morning.
It wasn’t always like this. Even with his busy schedule, he used to manage coming home five times a week, and he often had time to squeeze in at least one date on the weekends. But as he started to work on more songs for other artists or groups like TXT, you started to see less and less of him. You knew it was his job, but you thought he was spreading himself too thin. But despite his heavy workload, Namjoon still managed to send you daily text messages, wishing you good morning, asking if you’ve eaten or how you’re day is going. 
But today you didn’t respond, the short messages just reminding you of what your relationship has become. Turning your phone on silent, you bury yourself back into the blankets, hugging his pillow tight to your chest. Lately, he’s been sleeping in his studio or his shared dorm with the boys because it was closer and more convenient, but when you stop responding to his messages, he starts to get worried about you.
“Y/n?” Namjoon calls out as he walks in through the front door. He asked to leave early today to check up on you and came home as soon as possible. Even though that ended up being 11 pm, it was still earlier than usual and it was better than not coming home at all. When he’s met with nothing but silence, the worry in his chest only grows. He checks the living room and the kitchen and still no sign of you. 
It’s only when he pops into the bedroom that he finds you, curled up in bed with your back turned to him. He lets out a sigh of relief, wiping away the sweat on his forehead caused by worrying about you and running all around the house. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asks when he sees your phone lying next to you on the nightstand. You only confirm his suspicions that something is wrong when you ignore him.
When you refuse to answer him, he walks around to your side of the bed, crouching in front of you. “Hey,” he says gently, reaching out to cradle your face with one hand. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. You only glare at him as you ask coldly, “You’ve actually come home today?” Namjoon frowns at your cold response, but he should have known this was what you were upset about. 
“Listen y/n,” he says with a sigh. “You know I love you but my work is important. You can’t just expect me to drop everything for you,” he tells you as if he’s explaining something to a child. “I don’t expect you to drop everything for me Joon!” you try to tell him. “I just want to see my boyfriend for more than a few minutes a week, is that too much to ask?” you ask frustratedly. 
“Yes, it is!” he yells back equally as frustrated. “You don’t understand how busy my schedule is,” he says lowly. “Yeah, well you did that to yourself,” you mumble under your breath. Namjoon furrows his brows at you but he decides against asking you what you mean. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. When I come back, we can talk, okay?” he tells you. You just scoff at him, rolling over on the bed and turning your back to him. Standing from his crouched position, he sighs in defeat. Yes, you were still mad at him, but at least he knows you’re okay.
Once you hear the bathroom door close and the shower start running, you finally let out the tears you’ve been holding in. You missed him so much and the one time he comes home, you two are upset at each other. You weren’t asking for much. You two didn’t even have to do anything but sleep and maybe eat dinner together when he comes home, you just wanted to see him more.
Crawling out of the bed, you grab an extra blanket and pillow from the closet before heading into the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. You couldn’t bear seeing him right now as it only reminded you of the fact that you would always come second because work and music come first.
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As the hot water runs down his back, Namjoon replays your words in his head. He did this to himself? What did you mean? It wasn’t like he was trying to overwork himself, but music was his passion and if others asked for his contribution in their songs, why wouldn’t he? But maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to start working on a new song while they were in the middle of their own comeback.
He starts to see what you meant when you say he did this to himself and he asks himself, When was the last time he came home? And when was the last time you two really spent time together? The more he thinks about it, the more he starts to understand why you were so upset and you had every reason to be. He hasn’t seen you in so long and it was no one’s fault but his own. But he got mad at you for asking your own boyfriend to come home just a little more often.
While drying himself off and getting dressed, he tries to think of how to make it up to you. But when he exits the bathroom and walks into the bedroom, you’re gone. The ruffled blankets were the only sign that you had been there at all, and the fear of you leaving suddenly seems too real. 
All his apologies and ideas are suddenly lost to the thought of losing you, fear and panic start pumping through his veins as he frantically searches the whole house for you. When he finds you in the living room he lets out a breath of relief, but he knows he still has a lot to fix. Taking a seat on the couch, Namjoon settles in next to you, taking a moment to organize his thoughts into words. You don’t move away, knowing you have nowhere to run.
If you really wanted to leave, you could have slipped out while he was in the shower, but a part of you wanted to sort everything out so you stayed. “I’m sorry y/n,” he starts off with a sigh, “I got carried away and I didn’t realize how much work I’ve taken on until it became too much to handle,” he admits. “And I know I’ve been a pretty shitty boyfriend lately but please,” he begs, voice breaking slightly with emotion, “Let’s not go to sleep angry at each other.” 
Your heart aches at the guilt and sadness in his voice, and your resolve slowly crumbles when you see how upset he was too. You thought you were the only one hurting because Namjoon seemed so unaffected, but he had just been too busy to realize his own feelings. Being apart has taken a toll on both of you, but at the end of the day, you still loved each other very much.
Moving closer to him on the couch, you lean your head on his shoulder as you take one of his hands in yours. “It’s okay Joon, I know you’re trying you’re best and I shouldn’t have ignored you,” you murmur. Namjoon just shakes his head at your unnecessary apology because he was never mad at you in the first place. He simply wraps his arms around your figure, pulling you into his lap.
“You must be tired, let’s go to bed?” you ask as you run a hand through his damp hair. He nods and the two of you head to the bedroom hand in hand. “I guess I have a lot of missed cuddles to make up for huh?” he chuckles as he holds you close under the blankets. “Yeah, you do,” you agree with a laugh as you cuddle further into his arms. “I love you y/n,” he whispers into your hair, “More than anything in the world.” Your lips curl into a small smile as you whisper back, “I love you too Joon.”
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your-daily-biaswrecking · 2 months ago
Hello! I love your work!
Could you please write consensual somnophilia with dom!namjoon and him waking his s/o up?
Thank you!!
I see somnophilia is quite popular... 🥴
The thing is, you were a night owl. And Namjoon had to wake up early for work. So your sleep schedules didn't always match. Your boyfriend complained about that a few times, whining about having to get off the bed without being able to kiss you good morning and such. After some interrogation, however, you realized the true reason Namjoon was sulky was that, more often than not, he woke up horny and with morning wood. And he wanted to fuck you good to start his day off nicely. He loved morning sex. And the idea didn't sound too bad to you, it didn't sound bad at all.
So you had told him anytime he wanted to have sex, he could just wake you up. He always made you cum so hard it wasn’t hard to go right back to sleep, anyway. And he did so. Some days he just poked you till you were up, some days he ate your pussy out until you moaned so loud you woke yourself up. And it didn’t take too long for you to get used to such treatment, it didn’t take long for him to be bolder in what exactly he was doing to you while you slept.
He didn’t even wake up hard this time, yet immediately got excited when he saw your sleeping form. You were cute, having kicked away the covers because you were too hot, shorts ridden so high up your waist he could see your panties underneath them, tank top shuffled till it revealed your tummy, and your boobs had almost slipped completely out. Your face was so blissful, lips slightly parted as soft snoring came out like whistles between your teeth. So cute, so blissful, so… hot. Namjoon was getting hard at the sight of you. Namjoon was getting addicted to fucking you like that.
His breath was caught in his throat when you moved in your sleep, and he palmed himself through his boxers, sighing at the feeling. His hands landed on your knees, softly stroking you and hiking higher, delicately and carefully, not wanting to wake you up yet. Your body reacted to his touch, tiny squirms underneath his fingers, yet not enough to draw you from your slumber. And Namjoon was pulling down your shorts and panties without wasting any more time.
“Pretty pussy,” he mumbled to himself when you were naked from the waist down. So pretty, it made his dick twitch. You, still in ignorant sleep, while your boyfriend licked his fingers and brought them to your cunt, rubbing you softly. Instinctively, your legs tried to close, but Namjoon held them wide open, making you whine a bit. His heart was racing as he was watching your face for any reactions, any signs that you were waking up. He wasn’t sure what he wanted more: to fuck you like that without you even realizing until you woke up hours later and felt his cum drip out of you, or to have you come to now and catch him in the act, hearing your pretty moans as he fucks you wide awake.
His fingers were getting coated in your slick, and he noticed how your breathing was getting harder. Fuck, fuck, so hot… He freed himself, dick so hard and leaking precum as he spat on it to lube himself more before bringing the tip to your cunt. He teased it up and down your folds a few times, watching as you frowned and twitched at the contact. And he slipped inside, just a couple of inches at first, careful not to be too harsh and scare you.
“Fuck, so wet,” he grunted, not having expected such a reaction from your unconscious body. It filled him with pride, thrusting in and out of you slowly. Shit, it took everything in him not to start pounding you senseless right then and there. Breath heaving, voice straining, Namjoon crawled over your sleeping form until he had his head buried in the crook of your neck. He bottomed out eventually, still keeping his thrusts gentle, and he could hear tiny whines hummed in the back of your throat. A ray of sunshine crept in through the window and hit your face right on your closed eyelids, making you frown even more.
It was so calm and quiet other than Namjoon’s labored breathing; as if what was happening was a secret, was criminal. Namjoon was fucking his girlfriend in the most illicit way possible and it made him groan at the thought. He saw your mouth drop harder when he picked up his pace a bit, a silent cry, an orgasm expression all over your face, and he couldn’t help but grab your jaw with force.
“Fuck, baby, so good…” He was aware he was speaking to himself, but the words just poured out of him. Coarse whispers in his morning voice. Lewd praises you would never know of. He moved his hand from your jaw to your throat, feeling how you were struggling to breathe properly. And then he saw your eyes open, only halfway, focusing on nothing in particular. He could tell you still hadn’t realized what was happening, probably still trying to distinguish reality from your dreams. And to give you a point of reference, he ground his hips harder into you, lips crushing on your neck.
You finally looked at him. “Nam-joon?” you gasped, voice cracking.
“Good morning, baby,” he struggled to speak, face red and sweaty above yours as he bit his lower lip. And it all suddenly clicked. A long moan leaving your mouth as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, pussy clenching dangerously around his dick.
“Oh my God, daddy-” you choked, and Namjoon’s hips faltered. Your arms went to wrap over his shoulders, trying to hold him closer. “I was feeling so full and I didn’t know why…” you whined.
Namjoon grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, changing his angle. “Oh, yeah?” He was hitting right on your sweet spot in your pussy, making you yelp with every thrust. “Well, daddy’s gonna fill you up more.” His hand traveled down your form until he pushed your tank top further up to be able to look down at you, at the way his dick was disappearing inside you, his tip probing your lower belly and creating a bulge. “Gonna fuck my cum into you, that way you’ll still have me inside you when I leave.” Grunting hard as he got closer to fulfilling his promise, your pussy pulsing around him as you were getting closer to screaming his name.
And when he leaned down to kiss you, it was over for both of you.
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hueseok · 3 months ago
Text
enchanted.
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synopsis: › being married for almost a year now, namjoon thinks it’s time for you and him to start trying to build your own family together. so, to introduce the concept to you as enticing as he can, he prepares a romantic and cozy date night where he intends to drop the idea to you, his lovely wife, unaware that when he does, he’ll be getting the biggest and most shocking news in his life.
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pairing: namjoon x reader
word count: 5.6k
rating: 18+
content: fluff | smut | little angst | harry potter au | established relationship au | domestic au | ft. husband!namjoon (and short dad!namjoon too hehe); wizard!reader | oh! forgot to add that you don't really have to be familiar with harry potter to read this hehe
warning/s: swearing | lying about one's identity (dont do this unless you're a wizard sdjsjd) | sexual content (though not that explicit and detailed than the usual so) | unprotected sex (i mean,, they're married...) | makeup sex | creampie | slight breeding kink but not that much | cockwarming
this one shot is also intended for @btscreatorscorner june workshop ! the theme is simply bts—that is why this fic is written in namjoon’s point of view :>
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opening note. i was inspired to write this after rereading the first book of the harry potter series and encountered the part where seamus (i think) was telling the other students that the only time his father knew that his mom was a wizard was after their marriage lmao. also,, just watched the crimes of grindelwald movie so i was inspired by jacob and queenie’s relationship too hehe when i tell you i couldnt concentrate on the latter parts of the film when i had the idea for this fic ahdjavdja
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Tonight is the night, Namjoon thinks, as he rearranges the scented candles scattered around the tub for the 7th time that evening. Tonight is the night I will charm my beautiful wife and ask if we can start trying to have a family together.
To be fair, he already has been trying to drop a few clues since the beginning of the week, just right about the time when he finally gained the courage to somehow plant the idea to you piece by piece.
At first, he casually talked about how one of his college friends just welcomed their first baby boy to the world, and you grinned as he showed you the picture through his phone, cooing and saying that the baby was indeed really cute.
And then three days after that, he purposely stayed in the toddler section of the department store while you were trying to look for a new blouse, Namjoon admiring the little baby shoes that looked identical to a pair he had back at home and pointing them to you when you found him there. You only smiled and said that they were so tiny and adorable when you spotted it, before ushering him to go with you to the cashier without another remark.
In short, Namjoon doesn’t think you’ve gotten the hint yet—or maybe you just weren’t directly responding to it in a way that meant you and him were on the same page because perhaps deep down, you were unsure like he was if having a child together would be something the other wanted.
But tonight—this fine and romantic night—he was going to end all of that and get straight to the point. He was going to butter you up, make you feel loved and cozy in your shared home, and after you’re all happy and giddy in his arms, he will gradually ask you with an ever so understanding smile to make you feel at ease if you’ve ever thought about building a family of your own with him yet.
“Namjoon?”
His hand freezes on the candle, about to light it up again after a gust of wind that came out of nowhere blew the flame away, but hearing your voice, he immediately drops it by the top of the covered toilet seat and rushes to the front door of your house, seeing you there take off your shoes and coat with a tired smile.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” he says, walking towards you with outstretched arms.
You let out an airy chuckle as he lifts you up a little amidst your shared embrace, Namjoon kissing your lips briefly before pulling back and getting your bag for you.
“Long day?”
“Kind of,” you sigh, walking behind him as he heads to the master’s bedroom, “I still have some papers to check though. They’re not supposed to be returned soon but it’s good just to have things done earlier. Remind me again why I’m totally okay with teaching history to a hundred students who probably won’t remember everything I’m blabbering about in a few years or so?”
Namjoon laughs and places your bag on your desk, turning around just in time to catch you entering the room. He walks towards you and gives you another hug, a hug that you return with your arms circling around his torso. “Because you are brilliant and patient and kind—” he leans his head back to smile at you— “and anyone who gets the chance to be imparted with knowledge by you has probably saved a country in their last life.” He tilts your chin up and kisses you, lips languidly moving against yours. “Also, have I mentioned that you have an incredibly sexy brain?”
You chuckle, bringing your arms around his neck then.
When Namjoon first met you, he ultimately knew and believed that his initial perception of love at first sight wasn’t really some kind of bullshit that hopeless romantics made up just to give people the hope that you’ll meet the person you’re looking for the instant your gazes meet like he thought at the beginning.
Because indeed, when he first laid his eyes on you at the bookstore along the non-fiction section, he found himself pausing for a considerable amount of time, just staring at you, stuck on his feet, multiple methods to possibly approach you passing through his head at that moment—Namjoon just utterly enchanted.
He’s typically not a shallow person. He’s not the one who instantly falls for a girl without knowing her first or at least after just one cup of coffee. But when it came to you, he just started crashing and plummeting down fast. The next thing you know, he already made his way to where you are, asking for your number and if you were interested in having dinner with him sometimes. And as you said yes, grinning at him, practically beaming, he absolutely thinks that if he wasn’t going to marry you in the end, then he would have to lead a sad and miserable existence.
You give him one last peck before stepping back, your nose scrunching while you sniff. “Do I… do I smell something burning?”
“Burning?” His head snaps to your bathroom. “Oh my god, it can’t be.” He untangles himself from you quickly and goes to the mentioned room, spotting the left end of the bath rug in flames which he immediately gets water from the nearby sink to splash a lot of it in its direction, eventually disintegrating the fire.
It’s a good thing that it wasn’t that big to begin with—but yes, it was still pretty much in flames like what’s been established.
“I’m sorry,” he says next, turning to you who’s standing by the door frame, your expression more amused than mad thankfully, “uh, I was preparing a bath for you and lighting up these scented candles and maybe one of them fell of the places I put them on—” as if on cue, he picks up a candle by the floor close to the rug that causes him curse under his breath— “yep, one of them really fell off.”
Before he can apologize again, you come up behind him and kiss his cheek. “I appreciate it a lot, sweetheart. Maybe next time though, you make sure that you set the candles on flat surfaces.”
His neck turns red. “Noted. Would you perhaps be interested in eating dinner with me first? Or do you still want to go forth with the bath?”
“Did you cook?”
“No, it’s a take out from your favorite.”
“Well, eating dinner first it is then.”
Namjoon squints his eyes at you. “Hey, that’s a little mean, don’t you think?”
You laugh.
***
Namjoon proposed to you quite early on in your relationship. You and him have only been dating for a year and six months when he talked to his mother about possibly inheriting the heirloom engagement ring, saying that he didn’t need to waste more time only being your boyfriend when he could be so much more and could already see the life he would spend with you.
Of course, initially, his mother told him to contemplate more about the matter, about maybe talking to your parents or anyone close to you about it too—however, you’ve told him that you didn’t have any family left except for your cousin who was overseas, so it didn’t really help Namjoon change his mind or help him decide to ponder about it longer.
After a month or so of discussing it with his family and with your close friends, he proposed, and you obviously and wholeheartedly said yes, with tears in your eyes and your smile shining so happily that he just knows there won’t be dark and lonely nights waiting for him in the future anymore.
He loved you so much, it was amazing in its own right, for what he felt with you felt like what characters in movies or books would only have the chance feeling and never in real life.
“How was work today for you?” you question him next.
Since plan A obviously didn’t go according to what Namjoon liked, you and him are sharing a bottle of red wine in the living room, enjoying a slice of Chocolate Mousse as well after finishing eating dinner a few minutes back instead of spending time in the bathtub with Lavender and Cedarwood scented candles filling the room.
You’re leaning your back on the armrest of the sofa while Namjoon faces you and you also face him, his arm sprawled all over the top of the backrest, the both of you talking about the randomest things that happened in the last 24 hours.
Namjoon shrugs. “It was fine. There were new artifacts delivered though.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“I haven’t reviewed much about them, but I heard from my colleague that they’re fossils of a Pterosaur which impressively does look like a dragon as what the media says.”
“Well, maybe because it is a dragon that was brought to the museum and not a, a, uh, what is it again?”
He chuckles. “A Pterosaur. And yeah, sure, of course—if we were in Game of Thrones.” He nods to your almost empty wine glass, still chuckling. “Do you want a refill on that?”
You smirk, drinking the last drops before handing it to him. “I don’t mind if I do.”
He reaches for the bottle in the coffee table, placing his on it for a second to refill yours like stated. As he does that, he can feel your gaze focused on him, can get a glimpse of your amused smile from his peripheral vision. He feels your fingertips graze along his knee and thigh, waiting for him to bring your glass back, and even if he thinks your said gesture is not rooted from anything sexual, he’s afraid that he’s going to get explicitly hard if you keep on doing it.
He breathes through his nose before unconsciously swallowing hard. “Here.”
“Thanks.” You take the glass and sip.
Namjoon does the same, drinking from his own.
“So,” you draw the rim away from your lips, “when are you going to bring up the reason why you’ve been sucking up to me since I got home?”
He almost chokes. “What?”
“Joonie,” you say knowingly with a snicker, “you can’t expect me to just assume nothing when you’ve been kind of over the top this evening.”
“Over the top? What do you mean?”
“Denial is honestly not a good look on you, babe.”
“I’m always this loving to you.”
“You fell asleep on me the day before yesterday while we were talking in bed,” you deadpan.
He clears his throat. “I was really tired that day, okay.”
“Usually, you’d ask me to cook you dinner when I get home.”
“That’s because I love your cooking, sweetheart, you know I do.”
“I know.” You grin, your hand going over to the table to put your glass there. “That’s why imagine my surprise when I get home and there’s apparently a bath ready for me and a take-out from my favorite resto.”
Namjoon’s mouth twitches, especially when you start crawling to his lap, discarding the glass he was holding by putting it on the table as well. You straddle him, smiling, and without anything to say first, lean close to kiss him, capturing his lips that still have a smudge of chocolate from the cake you two are eating. He kisses you in return, wraps his arms around waist, angling his face to the side in an attempt to kiss you fuller.
“Is this what you want?” you whisper, your hand gliding down from his neck to his chest. “You want me?”
“Yes,” he replies straight away, though suddenly getting a reminder of what he’s really supposed to be doing here, he changes his answer, gently pushing you off. “No, no,” he adds in a sort of panicky manner, and when you raise your eyebrows, he talks again, “I mean, yes, yes, of course, I want you—it’s like second nature for me to want you but—that isn’t, that wasn’t why I’ve been doing this.”
You reposition your hands to lay on his shoulders instead. “It’s not?”
“Kind of? Like, it can be the reason why since it’s technically part of the whole process—it’s just that it’s really not the main point.”
“And the main point is supposed to be...?” You’re trying not to laugh at his cuteness.
He takes a long breath.
This is it. This is now or never. He would have appreciated it though if he had more time to rehearse the lines in his head, to go through what he had to say to ensure that you would take it well and not have it as some kind of demand from a husband who’s ordering you to start giving birth to his babies. The last thing he wants is to have you feel like he’s pressuring you, because he really will be fine if ever you say no for now. He just at least wants to plant the idea to you early on so that you’ll know that he’ll be ready for it once you are.
“Can I butter you up more before I say what it is?”
You roll your eyes. “Is it really that bad?”
“It’s not. Well, not for me, it isn’t. I’m just not sure if it can be the same for you.”
“Does it involve something about our relationship?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Our marriage?”
“Kind of?”
“Babe, are we going to play the guessing game all night?”
“Fine.” He presses his mouth together.
“I’m all ears,” you assure him, massaging his shoulders with a smile. “Whatever you want to say, I’m all ears for it.”
He appreciates the comfort. “Okay, okay, so what I want to say is—” he glances down, not being able to look you in the eyes, his thumb rubbing nervously against the hem of your shirt— “well, I was thinking, that I think it’d be really great, if you and I, well, since we’ve been married for a considerably amount of time now, that we, you know, we start trying.” Namjoon bravely raises his gaze to meet yours at the last minute. “As in, we start trying to have a little you or a little me—or a little combination of us. Have a kid together. What do you think?” He chuckles.
In one of the scenes he’s been envisioning earlier while preparing all the scented candles in the bathroom, he imagines you grinning and agreeing immediately when he finishes asking you about your opinion about the subject because deep down, he’s positive that you want to have a family as much as he does.
However, you’re staring at him with wide eyes—not really disgusted or shocked—more like horrified, which honestly felt worse than the former two.
“Oh,” you finally say. “Oh. Oh my god.” You abruptly scramble off his lap.
Namjoon knits his eyebrows. “Is that a good ‘oh my god’ or a bad ‘oh my god’?”
“Oh my god.”
“____?” He faces you. “Is something wrong?”
You’re in your previous position beside him now, your head hanging low as you have both hands on either side of your face. It’s safe to assume that you appear very shaken by what he said, that he thinks he wants to turn back time just to prevent him from opening it up.
“Look, sweetheart, if you’re not ready for it, I understand. I’m not going to be mad if—”
You lift your head up and turn to him. “No, Joon, that’s not—I can assure you that I’m ready for us to have our own child.”
“You are?”
“Of course. Have you been with you? You’d make a great father. You’re so nurturing, and caring, and loving—and even if you’re not particularly gentle with certain stuff, I’m sure you’d be as gentle as you can ever be for our baby. But Namjoon,” you frown, your hand holding out to grasp his knee, the sound of his full first name not actually erasing his worries away, “I’m just—I need to tell you something first before we decide about something like making a family together.”
“Alright. What do you need to tell me?”
“I... I’m so sorry. I want you to know that I didn’t intend you to learn it like this.”
“What?”
“I truly didn’t mean to drag it on this long, but there just wasn’t a good time for me to say it and—”
“____,” Namjoon wrinkles his forehead, holding your hand to calm you and himself down, “what exactly are you trying to say? You’re scaring me a bit, you know.” He tries chuckling to ease the tension.
His mind is coming up with a bunch of bad scenarios, from ridiculous ones where you say you can’t have his child because you’re actually secretly married to someone else and you managed to hide it because you’re living a double life—right down to realistic situations where you can’t have a child because you have a condition that doesn’t grant you the opportunity to bear one naturally.
Namjoon thinks that if it’s the latter, then it isn’t such a bummer like what you seem to be letting on, considering that he’s not opposed to adopting or surrogacy if that would be the path you’d both ought to take. He’s got enough life savings to push through with that option, all he has to know and be sure of is you, the most important factor he’s taking into account.
“There’s no easy way to say this,” you begin again, looking more agitated.
“To say what?”
“Joonie, it’s just that, I haven’t been completely honest to you. About, about what I am, and where I came from.”
He’s examining every part of your face, his eyes darting from one facial feature to another. “And?”
“And, well, I promised myself that I would tell you this when we get serious—and we did, we got married, and I swear I was going to really come clean by then but you have to understand that I’m just afraid that I might lose what we already have if I say it to you because Namjoon—” you gulp hardly— “I’m serious when I say that you’re the only thing I have left in this world. You’re the only thing that matters.”
His worry crumbles at that and he dares to reach out and place his palm over your cheek, an action that makes you lean against it in comfort. “Just tell me what it is, sweetheart. I promise, nothing will change. Till death do us part, isn’t it?”
“I know.”
“So, just tell me. I’m all ears.” He repeats what you said minutes ago with a teasing chuckle.
But you only frown. “I do hope so,” you mutter before you hoist your arm up, your attention flickering to the near bookshelf you had in your living room.
Namjoon follows your gaze, watches as you clench your jaw and scrunch your forehead together, in deep concentration, and just as he’s about to ask what exactly are you attempting to do, you twist your wrist ever so slightly in an elegant fashion and say, “Accio.”
A book flies straight to your palm.
And his hand on your face dramatically drops.
***
“You’re a wizard,” he states, pacing back and forth around the living room, “I married a wizard. Wizards are real. My wife is a wizard.”
“Joonie—”
“You lied to me.” He halts, facing you with this betrayed expression and it shuts you up again. “You… you lied about everything. You lied about your, your family, and then you lied about your educational background—what the hell even is a Hogwarts? Or, or whatever it is that you’ve been talking about—”
It’s been an hour since you sat him down and explained every single detail about the fact that you indeed are a wizard. Namjoon at first was just not having it, despite seeing you perform a magical stunt right in front of him, contemplating if this was all a dream he’s having after perhaps falling asleep in the bathtub earlier while he was prepping the bath. However, the more that you were enlightening him about your history, the more that unexplainable things in the past are slowly making sense.
For instance, there was this time when you and him were still dating and being the clutz Namjoon is, accidentally broke an exquisite China plate you owned back in your apartment while you were having lunch together. He panicked and apologized profusely, promising that he was going to buy you a new and even better set, but instead of being mad or at least accepting his offer, you just laughed and kissed him on the cheek, saying that it was fine and that he didn’t need to bother.
The following week after that, he saw the same plate back in your glass shelves inside the kitchen, totally unscathed and good as new. When he asked you about it, you merely just raised your eyebrows and insisted that it wasn’t the same plate like he thinks it is, convincing him eventually that it wasn’t but the thought still lingered in his mind from time to time.
There was this occasion too when you two were having a great date that ended with the both of you heading to Namjoon’s apartment, and just when you’re about to go through his doors, Namjoon abruptly discovered that he had left his keys inside his car that was in the parking lot. He excused himself, literally sprinting back to the elevators to retrieve it as fast as he could, though before he could even press the down button, you had called him and claimed that the door was already open, scolding him playfully about it the second he came back to confirm your declaration.
“Holy shit.” Namjoon gets another surge of realization. “All this time. I knew there was something freaky going on—I just didn’t think that it would constitute to you being a wizard, ____!”
“I know, I know, I didn’t know how to tell you—”
“You’re a wizard, you can do magic,” he keeps on mumbling, still marching in circles, “magic is real, all those things exist—maybe dragons even exist—oh my god, do they really exist like—”
“Namjoon.” You block his way as he’s about to make another turn, this time gently gripping his biceps. “Look, if you need some time to process this—if you need me to move out and leave for a while so you can be alone with your thoughts—”
“What? No,” he quickly disagrees. “I’m not letting you leave. I’m… I’m confused and kind of mad at you for deceiving me like this but, but, I’m not letting you leave.”
You exhale harshly, your breath coming out as shaky. “I just feel like you should at least get a free pass if you want out.”
Namjoon frowns.
It’s unfair that you look stunning under the chandelier light. But it is the reason why he purchased it in the first place when the both of you were furniture shopping, commenting how its brightness and tint was enough to make you glow regardless of what time of the day it was. Looking at you now, standing in the right spot where it gives you this angelic and homey aura, Namjoon finds himself and every piece of anger in his system disintegrating.
He takes a step forward and cups your cheeks. “Out? No, absolutely not. You’re staying here.”
“But, you really should be able to form your thoughts alone without me being here, being a nuisance—”
He brings your mouth to his and kisses you hard. “No.”
“Namjoon.” You sigh against his lips, Namjoon shaking his head.
“No. You’re staying with me.”
You stay still for a few seconds but eventually you kiss him back, murmuring how sorry you still are and how much you love him over and over again, tears pouring down from your eyes.
His heart is beating fast in outrage and his mind is going crazy with all the information it just received. Though despite the revelation and this double-crossed feeling he has in his chest, he can’t seem to be as candidly angry as he wants to be.
Because when you said you were giving him a free pass to leave you, it dawned on him that it doesn’t matter whether you’re a wizard or an ordinary and mundane human like him.
Sure, he’s confused about you lying to him and not being open with your true life, but he can see why you did what you had to do. He understands that the world is not particularly accepting of people like you, and as you mentioned while you were explaining for yourself, even when you were with your own people throughout your childhood and teenage years, you still didn’t feel like you belonged.
It was something about a wizarding war, you explained, where your family, who remained blindingly loyal to a dark wizard, always forced you to side with them despite your values contradicting theirs. And when the bloodshed ended, a lot of innocent and brave lives being taken away, you instantly decided to flee to another country to escape your dark past, wanting to abandon it all and start fresh, thus taking on a new life and a new persona.
The only place you ever felt like you truly belonged in was in his arms, as he heard you express, and hearing you admit that, he realizes that he’s willing to engulf you in them for as long as you like.
***
His lips have not dared to leave your skin ever since he kissed you in the living room. He only slides it to your cheek, to your jaw, down to your throat, and to the valley between your breasts whenever you need a breather.
The same goes for his hands which have not stayed put as he pushed you to the bed. He moves it from your face, to your neck, to the curves of your sides, even as far as between your legs—just anywhere he knows would elicit any reaction from you, preferably a reaction that meant you were enjoying his ministrations.
At this moment, you’re writhing beneath him, Namjoon thrusting in and out at a rather leisurely pace. He’s lapping his tongue below your ear, a spot he’s aware gets you aroused in seconds, and at the way you’re holding onto his back, your legs tightening around his hips, your walls squeezing him so good, it sends him a clear message that you’re going to come the more he keeps it up.
“Joon,” you gasp, his cock pummeling to you faster, “I’m going to, going to—fuck, right there, baby.”
“I know.” He goes sloppier and noisier, palm pressing against your stomach, balls hitting your ass. “I know, I know, shit. Keep on doing that.”
You clench your walls and Namjoon moans.
He’s as close as you are. Maybe closer, as the only thing that’s keeping him from coming is that he needs to have you come first. He wants to feel you pulsating wildly and shouting his name in euphoria before he goes through his last drive, wants to see your thighs convulse and your whole body go haywire at the absolute pleasure he is giving you.
Namjoon just wants you to experience the vigor of all the emotions that he’s facing this very second.
There’s still anger in his system somewhere, and he put it into good use while fucking you rather than shouting his lungs out, demanding things he knows he won’t even get satisfied getting the answers from because by then the both of you will be resenting each other, arguing and fighting and hurting each other with things you don’t even mean to say.
“Fuck, fuck, Joon, I’m, I’m—” You don’t get to finish your sentence for your orgasm ripples in your core, Namjoon pounding onto you harsher, allowing you to ride your high.
With your cunt enveloping more firmly around him, your dirty sounds arousing him further, your nails digging on his shoulder—he’s definitely not going to be able to hold on for another long minute. He’s far too consumed and intoxicated by the mix of emotions and of you to be able to control himself and just take a moment to hang around. All he’s thinking of is you being here, of you being with him, and of you choosing this life with him despite everything.
As he’s about to pull out like he always does, you nip his earlobe and whisper.
“Please,” you whine, “please come inside me.”
He throws his head back from your collar to stare at you.
“If you still want me,” you add, heaving, “if you still want to have a family with me—please, please, I want you to be the father of my kids—”
He kisses you, rendering your speech unfinished, groaning. “Yes. Me, me too, sweetheart.”
“Namjoon, I love you. So much.”
His heart skyrockets at the words and murmuring a soft ‘I love you’ in return, Namjoon blows his load inside you, surging his cock roughly for a few more strokes to drag out his orgasm until the very last moment, grunting as he slams his hips towards you one more time and stops, supporting himself to stay on top of you by sinking his forearms on the sides of your head.
You run your fingers through the strands of his hair, tugging and pushing his face closer so you can plant your lips on his. The both of you make out for a while, your tongues exploring the other’s mouth, moans and quiet intakes of breath being emitted along the way—and it’s worth mentioning that Namjoon keeps his dick inside you the whole time, preventing his cum from seeping out of your pussy before his shaft goes back to its original size.
“Are you still mad?”
“A little.”
“Okay.”
He opens his eyes, glancing at you. “Don’t lie to me again.”
You bite your lip and nod. “I won’t. From now on, I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” You peck his chin, his cupid’s bow, his nose. “No more secrets and lies. I promise.”
“No more dark past and hidden identities?”
“No more.”
“Good.” He sighs. “Because I don’t think I can survive it if you reveal more shocking details. And I know it sounds like I’m joking but you seriously can’t pull this shit again.”
You smile at the lightness of his tone, more at the way he finally offers a smile. “You’re the greatest thing that ever happened to my life. Do you know that?”
Namjoon rolls his eyes, nonetheless pleased. There’s just no way he can stop his heart beating for you.
“Do you?” you say again when he doesn’t reply.
“I do,” he nuzzles against your shoulder, humming, “and you’re the greatest thing to ever happen to mine. To be honest, I’m starting to wonder if you bewitched me to be like this.”
“Hey, absolutely not,” you snort, chuckling that makes him grin, “I might have come across as a pathological liar—but I’m no manipulator, sweetheart. I haven’t even used that much magic since I’ve been with you. Well, except when I have to repair some stuff you break and I’d like to save myself a trip to a store or a repair shop."
He gives you a look and you grin.
"Other than that, I’ve been trying to really mugglefy myself.”
“Fine. I believe you. But just so that we're on the same page here, from what you’re saying—” he’s still non stop littering your skin with kisses— “I’m just hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Damn it.”
You giggle.
He leans his head back to gaze at you, his grin stuck in place as you stare back with your loving eyes, and he definitely thinks even if you did already say no to his question, that he might as well be bewitched with how strongly he finds himself falling for you in every second of every day.
***
A few months later, you get pregnant.
You get pregnant and you give birth to a healthy baby boy.
Namjoon loves him with all of his heart, takes care of him and tends to him with so much affection. He reads him dozens of books, tells him hundreds of fascinating stories, and he makes the effort of actually learning how to change diapers and how to lull him back to sleep whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, hungry and in need of milk to calm him down.
Namjoon finally masters the art of carefulness especially to human beings ever since he became a father—in honor of yours and his human being, of course—the said beautiful baby boy who has your eyes and has his dimples. He wishes that when he grows up, he’ll have his mom’s wits, intelligence, and your bravery too.
But one night, just as Namjoon’s cleaning the dishes, waiting for you to arrive home from the university, he hears the laughter of his little boy, urging him to go check on him at the living room where he lays there on his crib.
When Namjoon does a quick peek, expecting to see nothing and return shortly to his chore, he discovers that your child has managed to inherit a certain something from you as well.
His baby is laughing at the floating toys around him, amused and entertained, while Namjoon widens his eyes and immediately gets his phone from his pocket to call you.
“Hello?” Your sweet voice enters his ears. “What is it, babe? I’m already near the bus station, if you’re having trouble with Minwoo—”
“I think he’s just like you.”
“Huh?”
“Our baby,” he hastily tries to get the toys hanging up in the air one by one, flabbergasted but trying to remain calm for the sake of keeping himself in the right mind, “I think he’s a wizard too, ____.”
Instead of getting a proper response, he only hears complete silence and a vastly familiar ‘Oh my god’.
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note. this fic earns a spot in the hall of written works by me so HEHEHEHE (also, this kinda feels like my other joon fic's twin but more light and more emotions? JSHDSJD meh,, i just love writing about domestic and husband material joon AHJHAJS)
p.s. i have done my research and read that wandless magic is possible lmao
thank you for reading & feedback is always appreciated ! ♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)
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krreader · a month ago
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you right.
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pairing: kim namjoon x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; hints at abusive relationship genre: angst ; fluff word count: 2.1k+ 
summary: namjoon had considered his options carefully and he knew, deep down, he made the right one.
a/n: I tried a different style of storytelling in this one, but I think it’s actually quite cool! I hope you like it and I hope you like your request hun!
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“There's something different about you,” Yoongi was sitting opposite of Namjoon, his hand rubbing over his jaw as he was studying the leader.
Namjoon looked up from the sheet of paper in his hands and snorted, “And what would that be?”
“I don't know, but it's obvious.”
Namjoon looked at him for a moment longer, then he let out a little laugh and shook his head, looking back down and ignoring what the older member had just said... because he was right, and he didn't want to get into it right now. Not when his mind was in total disarray. He first had to sort out his own thoughts before he could share them with someone and currently, all of his thoughts were about you.
Yoongi kept noticing it, the it that he didn't know what it was yet. He noticed how often Namjoon checked his phone and more importantly, that he checked it during meetings, dinners and other important times where he would normally be so respectful as to never even pick up the phone.
He noticed the ever growing dark circles under his eyes and he heard how late he came home nowadays, yet he never looked like he had a drunken night the next day when he'd see him again.
The other members noticed as well, but nobody said anything, knowing that Namjoon would talk when he was ready. Nobody wanted to pry if he didn’t want to talk.
And that's exactly what happened.
“Where are you going?” Namjoon asked, hands in his pockets.
“Walking Holly,” he got back up from the floor after he had tied his shoes, then he grabbed a hat and put it on, pulling it down as far as he could, so that nobody would recognize him, “Want to join me?”
Exactly what Namjoon had hoped to hear according to the smile that spread on his face.
He quickly threw on a jacket and a hat just like Yoongi, then the two made their way outside, starting to walk towards the Han river, which was Yoongi's usual route.
At first, there was absolutely no talking. Both of them enjoyed the peace and quiet that midnight offered them, but eventually, Namjoon opened up all by himself.
“I've been seeing someone,” he said without warning, but there were only so many options, so there wasn’t exaclty a surprised reaction by Yoongi. He had, of course, considered this to be the reason.
“I figured,” Yoongi said.
“But... it's complicated.”
Complicated was never got. Not in this industry.
“Alright. I'm listening.”
It was quiet once more, Namjoon gathering his thoughts for a moment before he started to explain everything.
“I met her three months ago in a bookstore. She was just sitting there, reading and I thought she was really pretty. Before you lecture me: I didn't approach her first. She must have felt me staring and started talking to me...-”
“At least ask me out before you stare at me like that,” you said with a smile without looking up from your book, Namjoon completely taken aback and turning around first to see if, maybe, you meant someone else, but... it was just him.
“Sorry, I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“If you had, I wouldn't have said what I just said,” you finally closed the book and turned your head to the side to look at him, “I'm (Y/N).”
Namjoon was hesitant at first, trying to read you and see if you realized who he was. But even if you did, it didn't seem to faze you, so he took a chance. A risky one, “Namjoon.”
“Namjoon,” you let his name roll over your tongue in a way that made him smile.
“She sounds nice,” Yoongi commented, “Was she a fan? Is this where it's getting complicated?”
“No. I mean... she knew who I was, but she didn't care. To her, I was just a guy she caught staring at her.”
“Then you asked her out, I assume?” all of the members had an experience like that and then it always went downhill from there on out. A moment of weakness, Bang had once called it.
“I did.”
“And?”
“And she said no.”
“Well... I didn't expect that,” Namjoon awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, “I thought, because of what you said...-”
You realized how uncomfortable he was all of a sudden, so you decided to make this easier on him and stood up, your little baby bump showing enough for him to realize. The smile on your face was... sad, almost.
“You don't really want to go out with me.”
“Oh my god... you're married. I'm...- crap, I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”
“I'm not married,” you quickly said and shrugged, “Just... pregnant.”
“Then... you have a boyfriend,” he tried again, but once more, you shook your head and said: “Just pregnant.”
Yoongi stopped, took a second and then, with a sigh, said: “You asked her out anyway, didn't you?”
“Is this a joke?” your previous confidence faltered, now, you were genuinely nervous, “I'm pregnant.”
“I heard you and I see you,” Namjoon smiled, not quite thinking this through, “I'd like to take you out. I mean it. Lunch, dinner, breakfast... a walk. Whatever you want.”
You became very confused, shaking your head a little, “But why?”
“I don't see a reason why not. I think you're pretty and you seem like a cool person with a lot of stories. I'd love to hear them if you're willing to share them.”
Part of you wanted to say no, just because you weren't ready to be let down again, especially not now and not from someone like him. You didn't have the energy for something that would ultimately just be a big joke.
But the longer you looked at him, the more you realized that he was dead serious.
“Dude...,” Yoongi shook his head, “You can't be serious.”
“I know, okay? I know. It wasn't the smartest decision, but...- if I could go back and make that decision again, I would still ask her out again.”
“So what... you're now dating a pregnant girl that's expecting the kid of another guy?”
“He wasn't the kindest man,” you said, but Namjoon could tell that you were putting it very mildly, “I realized I had to get out of there before the baby was born... to protect her or him from that, but also me. I knew that he'd force a marriage for the child's sake and... I couldn't do it. I said I'd rather raise this baby by myself than with him. He laughed at me and told me that I'd never make it...-”
“But you are making it,” Namjoon said, leaning over the table and grabbing your hands, mostly out of encouragement, but it meant a lot to you anyway. It’s been a little while since you’ve felt... kindness like his.
“Barely. I have no one to buy me food at midnight, it's horrible,” you joked, but Namjoon could tell that there was much more to it. Whether it was money or something else, he could tell that you struggled. Of course, a single mother at your age... that couldn’t be easy.
“You have me now,” he grinned.
“Don't make promises you can't keep, Namjoon.”
“But, I think to her surprise, I kept it,” Namjoon told Yoongi as the two of them continued to stroll along the Han, “I went to her apartment almost every day, spent time with her, got to know her, was with her when she needed me... and trust me, at first it felt more friendly than anything else, but somewhere along the way, especially the last weeks... things changed. At first it was just a kiss, then it was more and... well.”
“And now you're dating a pregnant girl,” he confirmed what he asked before, “Jesus christ, Namjoon, if Bang hears this, he's going to kill you.”
“I know. Trust me, I know how complicated this situation is, that's why I kept it to myself until I figured out what I really want.”
“Which is?” Yoongi asked.
“Are you kidding me?!” you asked with wide eyes, “This isn't funny, Namjoon.”
“I'm dead serious.”
“You want to move in with you? You do realize that I'll give birth in less than two months, right?”
“Which is why I want you to move in with me. I can't keep on going to your apartment and when you're just living with me, I can help you when the baby comes.”
You stared at him for a long moment, then you snorted until you ultimately started fully laughing, shaking your head, “You're shitting me,” but when you wanted to turn around and walk away, Namjoon grabbed your wrists and made you stay, cupping your cheeks so that you looked at him.
“I know how crazy this is, (Y/N). But I considered it and I saw only two options: break up with you, or deciding to spend the rest of my life with you. I imagined both scenarios and no matter how hard I tried... there just wasn't a future without you. Without... the baby.”
His hands went down to your belly, his thumbs gently brushing over it.
He had been with you to your last ultrasound, despite you having told him that it wasn't necessary and that you could handle it on your own, but... when he sat there, next to you, holding your hand as his eyes were trained on the screen with your son, he smiled fondly. Like he was proud.
A week later, you found the ultrasound picture in his wallet, felt him kiss your belly when he went to bed later than you and heard him sing to it quietly when you woke up the next day.
It was absolutely ridiculous, yet it also made sense. It made sense because you were as in love as he was and in a few months, maybe years, it might bite you both in the ass and both of you would realize that you actually couldn't stand each other... but you would never find out if you didn't take that leap of faith now.
“Wait.. the reason we can't meet in your apartment anymore...-”
“...- is because (Y/N) lives there now.”
Yeah, Yoongi had absolutely not expected that story. He sat down at the nearest bench and took off his hat, brushing both hands over his face to take a moment for all of this to sink in.
“You're the first, but I'll tell the rest of the members tomorrow and then Bang soon after. No matter what he'll say, I won't change my decision. The baby could come any day and I won't leave her.”
“Are you sure this isn't just your sense of responsibility? Are you sure you actually have feelings for her?”
Namjoon sat down next to him, not looking at him, but at the water in front of him, “You know what I see when I think about the future? Her. Her baby.”
Yoongi took a deep breath, then let it out as a laugh, “At first I thought you wanted my opinion, but it looks like you don't need that.”
“I don't need it, but I'd like to have it.”
Yoongi pursued his lips, then he looked down to Holly, “Love is weird, man. It punches you in the face and then leaves you hanging with the feelings. I can't tell you not to be with who you love, otherwise I'd be a horrible friend. But there's a child involved here and that's a lot of responsibility, especially for someone like you who already has so much responsibility to begin with. And when people find out it's not even your baby, you're both going to be crucified. Your family, the public, some of your friends...”
“We talked it through... and we've decided that nobody will ever find that out.”
"You want to raise it as your own,” it wasn’t a question, but a statement from Yoongi and when Namjoon nodded, he just closed his eyes for a moment, “Are you even ready for that?”
“I don’t think anyone is ever ready. She’s scared and, honestly, hyung, me too, but I want to do this with her.”
Yoongi finally turned his head and looked at his friend.
Like he said before, he’d be a horrible friend if he advised him not to be with the one he loved, especially when she was in a situation like that, so he ultimately just put his hand on his shoulder and said: “I’ll be there... whatever you need. Whatever she needs. Whatever your kid needs.”
And it meant the world to him.
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lavienjin · a month ago
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cruise control | knj
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summary: Clumsy by nature, Namjoon often comes into your hospital for the smallest of injuries; results from his foolish driving as he races in the streets or from his job at the auto body shop. You remind him often enough to be careful, but never — not even in your worst nightmares — could you imagine that the limp and bloodied figure lying on the operating table is the same one that had just asked you out on a date.
↠ part of the BTS meets 50s collab!
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pairing: street racer!namjoon x doctor!reader
word count: 13,681
rating/genre/au: 18+ | street racing au | smut, fluff, v lil angst
warnings: blood • depictions of injury • swearing • explicit smut in the forms of: unprotected sex • fingering • creampie
author's note: lot of research went into this including, but not limited to: 50s slang, pretending to sound like a doctor, and what constitutes a fuckin car! this is also part of the research au challenge for bccsg! thanks to @homeofbangtan for letting me be a part of this heckin collab; please send the love to the other writers as well! to my betas, dee @sugasbabiie and my secret ginchiest babe (who doesn't want to be named), thank you for being patient with me! and yes the irony that joon is the only one w/o a driver's license isn't lost on me
playlist: tokyo drifting // vroom vroom // big black car //
credit for the gif!
m.list | ao3
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There’s a breathtaking scenery that exists beyond the windows of a moving vehicle. Lights and sound blurring together into one as Namjoon steps foot on the gas, urging his red Ford Thunderbird to keep up with the twists and turns of the streets, humming quietly to himself as he taps on the steering wheel.
The sun barely had time to peak from the horizon, its softest rays have yet to kiss the clouds, and he’s already racing against a black Bentley, one of them rich people cars that had honked beside him in the red light, rolling down the window to ask if he’d fancy burning some rubber. Who was Namjoon to deny such a fun request? As soon as the lights turned green, they were off. The unspoken rules of street racing in his town are simple: keep within a specific distance between your challenger or better yet, surpass them entirely, until you hit the big city limit sign and you win. There were a few caveats here and there – one of the more dangerous ones involving the winding roads of Crestone Peak, but it’s a death wish to try and race there. The folks out here just want a good time and Namjoon’s more than happy to provide that. With his car so well-known in the city, a deep red Thunderbird with a cherry decal on the side, Namjoon receives invitations in all forms of manners – a phone call, a letter, or even spur of the moment instances such as these.
Forgetting his worries, Namjoon shifts his gear stick to the fourth notch, Cherry’s engine purring in support as his eyes focus on the license plate in front of him, tongue prodding the inside of his cheek as he rolls the windows down, whooping loudly as the wind blasts through his hair and he leaves the guy in the dust, passing the sign only a few seconds before the Bentley did.
The victory was sweet, albeit shortlived, and Namjoon will surely never see the guy again as he sticks his hand outside and waves. He slows his car to the appropriate speed limit, laughing to himself as he navigates his way around the city, cruising to find another sap that would dare race with him.
“Kim motherfucking Namjoon!”
He winces when his full name is thrown in the air with such annoyance - at the shrill voice muttering phrases no patient should be hearing in the hospital. The curtains around his bed is yanked away, revealing you in a lab coat with a furious glint in your eyes, mouth turned into a deep scowl. Namjoon can’t help but smile warmly at your irritated figure as he waits for the tirade with a chuckle.
“What’s the problem, doll?”
“The problem is that you’re here. Again. And I should be asking youthat question,” you remark pointedly, glaring at his sad state. "What the hell, knucklehead? How did you get hurt this time?"
Despite your brusque tone, your hands are busy inspecting his body: listening to his heartbeat - "124 bpm," you note - and measuring his temperature (though Namjoon isn't sure why you go through such lengths). When you prod your delicate fingers along his sternum while trying to locate the injury, he hisses, face scrunching up and muscles locking instantly as he tries to breathe through the pain.
Instantly, your face morphs into one of concern, knitted eyebrows and soft eyes as you snatch your hand away to stand beside him, rubbing his back soothingly. As the pain ebbs turning into a dull ache, Namjoon can't help but turn towards you, a strained smile on his lips as he relaxes from your touch. He wonders silently if you do this for all your patients or just him. He hopes it's the latter.
“Hey, are you okay?” you whisper, pushing his shoulders gently to have him relax on the bed again. “Seriously, what happened this time, Joon?”
He looks momentarily at your hand resting on his shoulder; at the warmth that's spreading all over his body. He chuckles, but it's caught in his throat, sounding raspier than ever, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead as he clutches his chest, preparing himself for another onslaught of nags. “Oh, I just… umm… crashed the car and I knocked my chest against the steering wheel pretty hard. Thank god the airbag didn’t deploy and break my nose or anything.”
“You crashed your car!?” you half-gasp, half-yell, eyes bulging out of your head before whipping around to make sure no one in the ward heard anything. Your voice drops to a whisper, mouth forming a thin line as you continue your examination. “I can't believe this. Lift your shirt up.”
“The least you could do is to take me out to dinner first,” he teases.
An eyeroll is your only response as you order him again. Sighing, Namjoon does as he’s told, shrugging his shirt so it wraps around his neck. There’s a blueish mark on the centre of his chest and the way your warm fingers brush against it makes him sigh, craving more of your touch despite the ache. You’re silent as you continue to press and prod along his abdomen before you finally lean back, letting him pull his shirt down with a nod as you scribble silently in your clipboard.
“Good news,” you singsong playfully, before sighing and slightly shaking your head. Anger forgotten, the corners of your mouth turn upwards into a lopsided grin. “You should be fine. The damage is all epidermal – surface level, and I don’t feel any broken bones nor do I detect any laboured breathing. Please do come back if you start experiencing those symptoms. It’s going to hurt like a bitch, but I think you’ll be okay after a few days.”
Namjoon stares at you; observing the way your shoulders seem to sag with relief, at the storm leaving your eyes when you realise that he’s going to be fine.
“You’re free to go, though. I can prescribe you with some painkillers if you need them?” Your voice breaks through his thoughts and he’s forced to look at those glimmering eyes.
Hiding the blush of his cheeks with a cough, Namjoon quickly shakes his head. “No need, doc. The whole reason I came here was to take a gander at your pretty face anyway.”
Subtle.
You falter at that and Namjoon doesn’t miss the way you tuck a strand of hair behind your ears, eyes shifting between your clipboard and the floor. Cute.
“A-Anyway, I have other patients to attend to, so if there’s nothing else…” you trail off, still resolutely looking at your shoes instead of Namjoon.
Wincing at the dull ache in his chest, he circles your wrist with his hand, tugging gently to get you to look at him. Tongue turning into lead, he opens and closes his mouth, trying to push out the question that's been on the tip of his tongue for a while.
Now or never.
“There is one thing… You've been taking care of me all this time. Let me take you out to dinner, yeah? As thanks.”
His heart is the sound of a roaring lion, commanding his attention. The silence doesn’t treat him gently – his palms are beginning to sweat as he waits for your answer, smile faltering with every second ticking where you’re not looking at him. Finally, you turn around and Namjoon smiles wider, dimples flashing when you agree with a quiet ‘yes’ and a nod of your head.
“I can’t this week. Maybe the next?” you reply meekly, avoiding his gaze.
“Sounds like a plan, Stan.” Namjoon swings his legs from the bed, the pain already ebbing away with how excited he is at the prospect of finally taking you out. “See you later, alligator.”
You think he’s out of earshot, but Namjoon catches you mumble under your breath, voice barely audible among the beeps of machinery. He forces himself to walk normally, despite wanting to jump for joy and pump his fist in the air.
“Not for a while, crocodile.”
===
The rest of the day seem slower now as Namjoon works at fixing his beloved Cherry, resenting his past self for losing control on the slippery road and crashing. It wasn’t a bad one, especially with his skills, but the front bumper had come off and with the very specific red that paints his car, it’s going to be a bitch to order the part and have it painted the right colour to avoid any patchiness. He supposed it got him a date next week, so he shouldn’t be too mad.
He had found the Thunderbird in the junkyard, about to be crushed into a sad cube before he raced to the guard’s booth, paying the person discreetly to let him have her. With a lot of elbow grease and sweat, Namjoon managed to bring her back to life with the help of his mechanic buddies and one too many sleepless nights. He can’t imagine what sort of person would discard such a hot rod, but he’s not complaining, especially since it came virtually for free. His boss, Max, was even gracious enough to let him keep her in his garage, allowing Namjoon to fix whatever problems she has as long as he continues to work diligently at his actual job.
Already in his late 50s, Max was known as the best mechanic in town and made sure that reputation stayed intact to the best of his abilities by hiring people like Namjoon that worked his ass day in and day out. Other than you, he’s the only other person that disapproves of Namjoon’s thrillseeking tendencies, though he doesn’t nag whenever Namjoon comes in bruised and broken in the morning, just a sigh and a gruff reminder to “take it easy.”
“What’s got you smiling so happily today?” comes a voice from behind Namjoon as he screws yet another bolt into Cherry’s side.
Namjoon laughs, turning around to give his friend a quick clap on the shoulder. “Taehyung,” he greets the younger man before turning his attention back to his Thunderbird. “Nothing much, just won myself a hot date.”
“Cut the gas!” Taehyung cheers, wrapping his arm around Namjoon’s shoulder. “The doctor chick? The one you’ve crushed on for like years now?”
“It hasn’t been years, I’ve only known her for like a few months!” he chuckles, slipping away from the younger man’s hold “But yeah, the ‘doctor chick’. She has a name, you know?”
Taehyung sighs, rolling his eyes. “I know, I know. It’s ___. I’ve heard you talking about her in all states of drunkenness, candy ass. Even if I tried to forget her name, I wouldn’t be able to.”
Namjoon grins sheepishly, running his hand through his hair. Taehyung continues to pepper him with questions: about his plans for the date and about the races he’s recently been a part of – all the while helping Namjoon with Cherry until Max called them out to the front to help him work on a car that just came in. It was an average working day for Namjoon, though he’s a little distracted at the butterflies in his stomach, imagining the date that’s happening in a week’s time.
---
The first time Namjoon laid his eyes on you, he’s instantly smitten. Taehyung had suffered a bad stomach flu and needed to go get it checked out. He had pleaded for Namjoon to come with, so he could drive him back to his apartment instead of waiting for the bus. He agreed reluctantly when he saw just how pale Taehyung was, ushering him to the best hospital the city could offer: Hope.
You were the only doctor available that day and boy was it ever a stroke of luck. You’d been kind and gentle, making sure that he felt heard despite whining like a little child. Your easy smile was a bonus too and Namjoon chased after that smile for weeks, turning up to the hospital for every trivial injury; from a paper cut to a broken nail, just to see you again. He learned that you were one of the newer doctors at Hope Hospital, which meant that you had the most shifts out of anyone. Despite all that, the positive and patient smile never leaves your face and the nurses all spoke highly of you, even some giving out courtesy warnings like an older sibling would.
“If you dare hurt her…” one of the older nurses had threatened, raising a scalpel she was cleaning to stab it in the air. Namjoon gulped, nodding as he got the memo loud and clear.
Eventually, your worried fretting over Namjoon stopped and your current relationship is formed, one where Namjoon frequents the hospital as often as he pleases and gets you to check on him just so he could talk to you for a few minutes, much to your annoyance. You’ve yet to throw him out though, always dutifully checking his vitals regardless of how small his injury may be along with comments about how he should have been more carefuland it’s that dedication to your line of work that made Namjoon fall even harder.
In one of the rare occasions, you opened up, he learned that you had no intentions of becoming a doctor, afraid jumping into such a male-driven field, but your college professor had convinced you otherwise and through sheer determination, you managed to graduate top of your class, surprising all your colleagues. And that surprise lasted for quite some time, the university erecting a bench dedicated to you, especially when you landed a job at Hope Hospital as a full-fledged doctor, skipping your residency entirely.
“And you? What’s your story?” you asked after finishing your tale.
“Me? I’m just a guy. My dad used to take me to the tracks and I fell in love with driving, but obviously that’s not in the cards. So, I took my passion for cars and turned it into a career. I’m a mechanic by day, street racer by night,” he explained with a hearty laugh, putting his hands behind his head as he lies on the bed.
“If only you were less clumsy,” you teased, prodding him on the ribcage after finding out that he had came in that day because of a light headache. “Just be careful, will you?”
“I’ll be fine,” Namjoon smiled, showing off his dimples in hopes to reassure you. “Honestly, the only thing I’m worried about is being caught by the fuzz. And even then, I’m not too worried; I know a guy,” he winked, chest warm at your genuine empathy.
“Well, I suppose I know who to reach with my one phone call.”
Namjoon could hear you laugh all day – loving the way your eyes crinkle around the corners and at the occasional snort; at the way you shake your head slightly when it subsides into giggles.
The two of you grew closer since then, to the point where you felt comfortable enough to nag him when he came in to the hospital genuinely injured, his arm dangling limply where he pulled it out of its socket. Namjoon felt comforted as you pumped him full of painkillers and sent him home in a sling, and his smile grew tenfold when you slipped a paper with your schedule in his hand, asking him to come back within those times so you could take a better look in case he developed a negative reaction to the painkillers. Whether he was high in love or if it’s because of the drugs, Namjoon slept soundly that night, the pain in his shoulder momentarily forgotten while he dreamed of your smile.
---
Max breaks him from his reverie by asking Namjoon to come help him with yet another car and thankfully, this car just needed a quick change of oil and some scrub down to get it shiny and ready for the road. An easy enough job for him to do alone to end the work day and he spends the remainder of the night working on Cherry to make sure she’s fixed, muttering quietly to himself and sending thanks to a higher being that the crash only resulted in cosmetic damage.
“I’m headed home!” Taehyung calls when the clock struck six. “See you tomorrow, hyung!”
Namjoon waves enthusiastically at the young man, watching for a moment as Taehyung climbs inside a black vehicle filled with his friends. He never liked the people Taehyung chose to hang out with, always feeling like they’re out to cause trouble wherever they go and he’s usually right as Namjoon’s forced to bail them out of trouble far too many times, hence why he’s so close to the police. He’s known Taehyung since they were kids, having grown up in the same neighbourhood. With nothing much to do in their tiny city, they’d spend summers together in the fields, digging up dirt or running up the hills and making up games as they go. Although he’s a few years younger than Namjoon, the way Taehyung views the world sometimes makes him wonder if he was secretly an old man residing in a younger boy’s body. There’s a sense of wonder and curiosity one might expect from a child, but Taehyung also has that wise knowing look about him that allows people to confide their troubles easily. At the end of the day, however, he’s still a young man that gets himself in far more trouble than anyone Namjoon’s ever known.
Sighing, he finishes up Cherry, pouting slightly at the missing front bumper that gives her a permanent gasping sort of look. The part won’t come until next Sunday and he chews the inside of his cheek, wondering if you’ll mind if he shows up with a wacky looking car. As he cleans up his tools and wipes down his workspace, he looks out the windows to find the stars taking resident up in the sky.
It’s a beautiful night as any for a drive.
So, Namjoon takes the long way home, driving past buildings and winding roads, trying to see if there’s anyone that would be willing to race. Much to his dismay, the streets are empty tonight and so he drives himself back home, ready to crack open a beer and maybe watch some television to relax and unwind for the remainder of the evening.
---
Namjoon groans as he hears the telephone ring from the kitchen. He lets it sing, pulling the covers up past his ears and silently cursing the person on the other line. Just when the shrill noise stops, the silence slowly coaxing him back into sleep, it starts back up again. He rips the covers from his body, eyes bleary, and shuffles to his feet, grumbling as he notes the time: 3:22 in the goddamn morning.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he mutters to no one in particular. “Hello?”
“Hyung, it’s me. Can you hear me?”
“Taehyung?” Namjoon blinks, worry seizing his throat when he hears his friend sounding panicky; the drowsiness he felt earlier instantly dissipating. “What’s wrong? Where are you?”
“I fucked up, man. I got caught in a rumble and- and- I now owe this guy money. Fuck! Can you come here and get me?”
There’s no need for Taehyung to explain any further; something always goes wrong when he hangs out with that gang of his and Namjoon hopes it’s another one of those nights that he can resolve quickly. He reassures the other man that everything’s going to be okay after asking Taehyung for his exact location and jotting it down on a piece of paper, he’s off, slipping into a pair of shoes. “Wait for me; I’m on my way,” he promises into the night air as he locks his apartment behind him.
The sun hasn’t risen yet when Namjoon peels away from his driveway, heart stammering loudly in his chest as he kicks Cherry into gear. “Come on, come on!” he growls, punching the steering wheel in hopes he can get his chariot to go faster.
Taehyung’s on the other side of town, a raunchy place usually filled with ill-intentions and bad decisions, so it comes to no one’s surprise that he’s caught up in something shady. Double-checking his address, Namjoon parks wildly, the front tire above the cub before bolting out of the carriage, unkindly slamming the driver’s side shut before walking around between the buildings and calling out Taehyung’s name.
“Hyung!”
Namjoon turns around, relief washing over his nerves until he catches sight on the figure standing next to Taehyung.
“What did he do this time?” Namjoon mutters under his breath. Pushing his hands inside his jeans, he conjures up a mask of indifference as he walks up to the two men, watching Taehyung’s face for signs of danger, but the man hosts no bruises on his face, if anything he just looks like he’s only slightly shaken up. Catching his eye, Taehyung gives him the smallest shake of his head, but the hand on his thigh makes a peace sign, a signal to Namjoon to indicate that there’s two more of Yongjin’s friends lurking in the shadows somewhere.
“Yongjin,” Namjoon greets curtly.
To live in this city is to know the name Cho Yongjin. He’s the eldest son to a prolific family riddled with hidden secrets that possibly connect them to an even bigger crime syndicate. In essence, messing around with the Chos is never a good idea. Namjoon’s tired brain tries to come up with possible scenarios that would land Taehyung in this sort of trouble, but he waits patiently, tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in hopes that Yongjin thinks it’s out of irritation and not nervousness.
“Ah, if it isn’t Big Bro Namjoon!” Yongjin calls mockingly. “Taehyung said he has a friend that could help him out of this predicament. I didn’t think he’d call you. Do you even have the money?”
“Just let him go, Cho. Whatever Taehyung got himself in this time, I’m sure we can work out a deal.”
Yongjin laughs at his words, head thrown back and mouth wide open, before his face morphs into an ugly scowl. His black hair is greased with oil, slicked back perfectly as he plays with the straps of his leather jacket. “No, no. This one owes me a little too much for me to get into another deal with him.”
“How much?”
“How about fifteen grand worth in cash?”
Namjoon balks at the statement, taking a full step back before his eyes land on Taehyung. The younger boy winces at the number, shrinking considerably into his dark hoodie even though he stands several feet taller than Yongjin. “Taehyung,” Namjoon says slowly. “What the fuck did you do?”
There’s an inkling that tells Namjoon it has something to do with gambling and probably the rumble he mentioned over the phone, and when Taehyung parrots what he’s thinking, it feels like someone’s stabbed him repeatedly in the chest. Not one for the party scene, Namjoon can’t fathom how one wracks up fifteen grand in debt, but he nods, turning his steely gaze from Taehyung back to Yongjin.
“Make a deal with me then. Let’s race. You know my reputation. If I lose… I’ll give you Cherry and pay you back Taehyung’s dues. If I win, you clear his debt. Fifteen grand is mere nuggets for your family, yeah?”
Sweat drips from his brow down his face as he watches Yongjin ruminate, lips pursed and a finger tapping on his chin. It’s a tempting offer, but is it enough? Cherry isn’t exactly a luxury brand vehicle, although she’s well known around the city because of Namjoon’s driving skills.
“How about this: if you lose, give me Cherry andyou’ll quit your job at Max to come be my chauffeur until you have enough to cover Taehyung’s debt.”
A fate worse than death.
Working for the Chos as a driver driver could mean a variety of things: from driving him from one illicit affair to another or being in contact with some of the more dangerous criminals out there and Namjoon isn’t sure he’s comfortable with that. But… if it’s for Taehyung—
“Deal.” His voice wavers slightly, but he sticks to his resolve. “Where are we racing?”
“How about Crestone Peak?”
Winding roads, barely any light… if he crashed there, he’s as good as dead. Namjoon’s sure of his skills, but even the most seasoned street racer is nervous when they’re forced to face the infamous peak. To make matters worse, Namjoon hears a rumble of thunder above him. Great. It might rain too, which makes the road all the more treacherous.
“Whatever you say,” he resigns. “I’ll meet you there.”
He turns around and walks back to his car without waiting for Yongjin to respond. When he starts the engine, worry knots in his stomach and he isn’t sure if he was going to throw up or to cry. Namjoon’s grip on the steering wheel tightens; a quiet hum of determination slowly replacing the uneasiness. He can do this. He will win.
And with enough luck, he hopes that he and Taehyung goes home safely tonight.
There’s a date he needs to get to.
---
Taehyung doesn’t say a word as he slides into Namjoon’s car. Whatever apologies that lie on his tongue is silenced when the older man throws a simmering gaze from the side, so Taehyung busies himself by staring absentmindedly at the zooming lights and buildings, the rain making the colours bleed into the darkness and he hopes it isn’t a bad omen of some kind. Namjoon can sense the nervousness rolling off the younger man seated next to him; catching glimpses of Taehyung nibbling his nails and the bouncing of his leg, sighing occasionally while raking his fingers in his dark hair.
Namjoon breaks the silence by turning the radio on, though the host’s words filter in his ear and back out again. “I’ll be okay, kid,” he sighs, throwing a not-so convincing smile in Taehyung’s direction before returning his gaze on the road. “You know I’m the best fucking racer this town has ever seen. Sure, I’m not a professional, but I sure as hell won’t lose to the likes of Yongjin.”
Taehyung snorts from beside him, but there’s a quiet, shuddering intake of breath and Namjoon spares another glance at the dark-haired man, only to find his head in his hands. In a broken voice sounding much younger and defeated unlike how he normally carries himself, Taehyung sobs. “I’m sorry, hyung, I fucked up. I- I shouldn’t have let it go this deep. I should’ve told you earlier.”
“You should’ve,” Namjoon agrees, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “But what’s done is done. Let’s win this race, head home, and grab a beer, yeah? I’ll ring Max and let him know what happened in the morning. I’m sure one of the other boys can cover your shift.”
There’s a bit of silence only punctured by the quiet chattering of radio and Taehyung’s sniffles. Namjoon exhales, bringing his hand to clasp Taehyung’s shoulder and squeezing it a few times for reassurance. “So, are you going to tell me what happened? Paint me a picture on what got you into this mess?”
“It’s… ridiculous. Me and the boys have been playing cards, and I kept losing. So, I borrowed money from a friend a couple of times,” Taehyung stares at the rain again as he tugs a few strands of his hair. “When I couldn’t pay him back, we started throwing punches – I don’t think I started it, though. That’s when Yongjin and his crew showed up and paid the guy, saying that I can pay him back over time. I didn’t know that meant interest…” he spits, slamming his fist on to his lap.
“I- I thought it wouldn’t be anything as high as fifteen grand. Maybe a couple hundred at most, which I could cover by picking up extra shifts.”
Namjoon nods as he listens to Taehyung’s explanation. It made sense. Yongjin – the Chos – isn’t someone to play fair when it comes to money. He wonders briefly how long this has gone on without his knowledge, but that’s another question he’ll save for another day. They’re nearing the last bend in the road, a large sign with the words ‘Crestone Peak’ coming into view, paired with a yellow hazardous symbol with a black exclamation point reminding people to be careful on the trail. Namjoon snickers bitterly at the irony.
Yongjin’s navy Chrysler is just up ahead, right before the opening that leads to dangerous winding trails and lack of streetlights beyond. In the day, Crestone Peak is beautiful – trees with various height jutting up to the sky and the sounds of animals chittering quietly on the ground. There’s a road for pedestrians to the side and Namjoon would often see old couples and families walking hand in hand halfway before stopping at the rest area, usually opening picnic baskets and dining as they watch flocks of birds flying overhead. Of course, there’s also the ‘Crestone Challenge’, an annual charity marathon that supports Hope Hospital with more medical equipment for their staff and the city has made it its goal to bring in as many people as possible to participate – the streets during that weekend are usually filled with laughter and food and balloons. In the din of night and with the rain thundering on the rooftop of his vehicle, however, Crestone Peak looks more like a beast; with an open maw that seems ready to swallow any foolish riders into the darkness.
For a brief moment, just before Namjoon turns off the ignition to greet Yongjin, his thoughts drift to you. He chuckles to himself when he hears you nag – his mind conjuring up a visage of your face with furrowed eyebrows and that tight lipped grimace, telling him to turn back and go home and to not do anything dangerous for god’s sakes. You’d flip your lid for sure if you knew what Namjoon’s about to do. But the time on the dashboard now reads fifteen minutes to four thirty and despite the anxiety clutching his heart, he’s comforted with the thought that you’re sleeping soundly in your bed, somewhere in this city and away from danger.
“Yongjin,” Namjoon shouts as he exits the car. Taehyung follows suit, hoodie pulled up past his head though it’ll soon be soaked anyway with the thick curtain of rain falling from the sky.
Namjoon struts confidently towards the man despite his thunderous heart. Yongjin’s dark eyes flit between Cherry and Namjoon, a snake-like smile appearing on his thin lips a moment later. One of his friends? Subordinates? Namjoon isn’t sure – is holding an umbrella over Yongjin’s head, keeping the sleazy man dry while the rain pelts his clothes, turning the white shirt translucent and his hair plastered on his face. The friend-subordinate remains impassive, bored, as though it’s a nightly occurrence for him and Namjoon reckons it probably is.
The sound of his name brings him back to the present and he watches Yongjin snap his ruddy fingers into the air. Another man exits out of a car, carrying with him a large black briefcase before setting it on the Chrysler’s trunk, bowing swiftly to Yongjin as he waits for his next order.
“Open it up.”
Namjoon hears a gasp from behind him, forgetting for a moment that Taehyung is still there. His eyes widen when he takes a step forward to inspect the contents of the briefcase. Stacks of cash line every inch of the velvet interior and Namjoon has enough sense to not gawk, quickly turning away to meet Yongjin’s eyes again.
“What’s this?” he demands, fisting his hands into his jeans. The cold from the rain is starting to take effect – he didn’t have time to grab a coat when he left his apartment to come to Taehyung’s rescue and the thin shirt he’s wearing underneath does little to protect him against the wind.
“Just some extra… incentive,” Yongjin snickers, waving his hand again. The man next to him bows, closing the briefcase with a snap taking his place next to the umbrella-holding man. “If you win, Kim Namjoon, not only will I clear your brother’s debt there, I will also pay to commend you for a job well done.”
Was he so confident in his ability to win that he’s willing to bet so much? Namjoon bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. No, this was just the way the Chos operate. Playing mind games to increase the stakes – giving their opponents a false sense of security. There’s something else behind the promise and Namjoon will be damned if he doesn’t find out. Swallowing thickly, he nods, hoping that he’s right.
“And in return?”
“Smart guy,” Yongjin smirks. “Set me up with that pretty doll of yours, huh? The one that’s got you on such a hook.”
Everything slows. The deafening sound of rain ceases to exist as he stops breathing, the cold in his veins snaking up and stilling his heart. Namjoon didn’t have time to ponder how Yongjin knows about you before he launches himself into the man with a snarl, fist raised to deliver a punch square on his smug face. Taehyung’s barely quick enough to hold him back, arms wrapped around his midsection as he pulls a thrashing Namjoon away, shouting his name and reminding him to stay calm.
Yongjin just smiles, laughing quietly to himself. “Save that energy for the drag, Kim Namjoon. Let’s get this show on the road, yeah?”
Namjoon spits on the ground, eyes burning with fury as he shakes himself away from Taehyung, holding up a hand and taking shuddering breaths to let the younger man know that he’s okay. Furious, but okay. “Same rules?”
“Yeah. Up the peak and then down again. No more than 100 metres between us or you lose. If you manage to get ahead of me, you win instantly. Guaranteed.”
Letting the rain cool his heated skin, he manages to temper his seething rage, locking his jaw tightly as he screws his eyes shut. “Let’s do it, bitch,” Namjoon growls, whipping around to trudge towards his car, sliding into the familiar driver’s seat to start the ignition.
“Hyung- hyung!”
Namjoon hadn’t realized Taehyung had slid in next to him and is surprised to find a hand clutching tightly at his shoulder. Though there isn’t a rule against having passengers in the race, he’s wary for the younger man’s safety and would prefer if he waited in the rain, so he hands Taehyung an umbrella from the backseat as he relays that information. Taehyung nods, letting out a slow, shuddering exhale from his nose.
“Please be careful.”
“I have a date to go to next week. I sure as hell ain’t missing that,” Namjoon smirks wryly, squeezing Taehyung’s shoulder in return. “I’ll be fine. Just watch my lights, kids. Oh, and if the fuzz comes, beat feet. Don’t worry about me.”
With a shared nod and a beat of silence, Taehyung exits the car, a grim line on his face as he watches Namjoon drive the car behind the Chrysler, engine revving loudly. The two men that accompanied Yongjin has stepped away to the side of the road, umbrella shared between them. If it weren’t for the set of circumstances at hand and the hard glare and scowl plastered on their faces, the scene would look almost adorable; a start of a romantic comedy starring two men drenched in the cold. Namjoon lets out a quiet chuckle, appeasing his nerves somewhat.
“Ready?” The shout brings his attention to the road, eyes staring hard at the rain-slicked windows as he waits with bated breath.
The race usually starts whenever the tires squeal on the ground, but this is a more sophisticated affair and Namjoon suppose that requires a countdown. As soon as the handkerchief leaves the man’s hand, Yongjin peels off and Namjoon follows suit, making sure to stay as close within the 100 metre limit as possible, gauging his distance by his ability to see the top of the Chrysler’s license plate.
Winding turn after winding turn, Namjoon shifts his gears from three to four to five, Cherry getting louder as she protests against the speed, tires barely gripping on the uneven and slippery ground. Yet, she persists, letting Namjoon maneuver her every which way, even through the sheet of rain that creates a cacophony of noise inside the interior of the car. At the final bend, Yongjin wavers, tires losing its grip on the pavement as its side screeches into the guard rail.
“Oh, fuck!” Namjoon curses, barely managing to hit the breaks just before he barrels into the Chrysler. Through the black tinted windows, Namjoon can make out Yongjin’s silhouette pounding at his steering wheel. He’s about to exit the car to ensure that he’s okay, but the car in front of him revvs his engine again, eager to continue what he started.
Muttering quietly to himself, Namjoon clicks his tongue, eyebrows furrowed to the centre of his forehead, “Fucker’s flipped his lid.”
He watches silently as Yongjin removes his Chrysler from the wreckage, some of the pieces of metal falling into the depths below. Swallowing thickly, he prays to a higher being that this isn’t some sort of bad omen. Namjoon reverses the car, giving Yongjin ample space to maneuver out of the pit; a courteous act that could cause him to lose the race, but it’s the one that provides safety for his opponent. As the Chrysler regains traction on the road, he shifts his gears once more – from one to two to three – and the race continues, Namjoon keeping up easily despite the heavy downpour. He notices the Chrysler’s side dip close to the ground – a flat tire, most likely and he whistles into the air, impressed by the machine’s resilience. He doesn’t dare assume he’ll win – there’s a lot of factors that are outside of his control, but the earlier crash might work in his favour after all.
The grip on his steering wheel tightens; knuckles white and palm sweating, yet he keeps his eyes staring straight ahead, so focused on the license plate that he’s sure to remember the string of numbers when he closes his eyes that night. There’s a left turn up ahead that allows two cars to drive side-by-side for a moment, but manuevering Cherry in the downpour where the area is caked with mud is a dangerous stunt; one wrong move and Namjoon could potentially blast Yongjin into the depths below. Mouth pulled into a grim line, he only had a few seconds to decide. Should he maintain his distance until the race ends? Does he have the courage to wager another human’s life (even one so shitty as Yongjin) so he could ensure his victory once and for all?
Your face flashes again in his mind. “I’m sorry,” he whispers with a strained laugh, having made a decision, one that he can’t say he’s too proud of. Namjoon slams his foot on the gas, shifting the gear to the fifth slot and push Cherry into a lurching speed, the scenery a mixture of black and dark green from the windows. Holding his breath, time stands to a still as he speeds up, using the other lane to bring himself neck-and-neck to Yongjin. Just as he turns the bend, he passes the Chrysler and slams on the breaks, tires screeching loudly on the slippery ground as if he’s about to crash into the other car.
Please work, he prays silently.
With enough sense, Yongjin slams his breaks as well, the engine stalling and shutting off as he tries to avoid a second crash. Namjoon cheers, bringing his fist into the air and colliding it to the roof as his foot returns to the gas pedal, peeling away from the halted Chrysler and into the night, imagining the owner cursing behind the wheel.
He did it.
It was foolish and dangerous, but he did it. Heart hammering loudly in his chest, Namjoon’s grin widens when he spots a very tiny Taehyung jumping in the air for joy, fist in the air and umbrella falling on the ground. He allows himself to breathe. It isn’t over yet, there’s still a few sharp turns until the finish line, where the road opens up a bit more, providing ample space for the navy vehicle to pass him by if Yongjin’s smart enough. Namjoon doesn’t like to count his chickens before they hatch, so he pushes Cherry to her limit, ensuring a great deal of distance between his trunk and the front grill of the Chrysler.
“Come on, doll, give me all you got, yeah?” Namjoon encourages Cherry with a few firm slaps on the dashboard, shifting his gear for the last time.
In a blink and it’s all over. Yongjin couldn’t keep up after his crash on the peak and from the stalled engine from earlier, luxury brand or not, the Chrysler reached its limit, allowing Namjoon’s Thunderbird to cruise down the remaining bends with ease before stopping just past the ‘Crestone Peak’ sign. Relief washes over him at the victory and Namjoon groans, feeling the muscles tightening after enduring the stress. He smiles through the pain, however, knowing that it’s a valid excuse to visit you today.
Taehyung rips open the driver’s side door to shout incoherently, words drowning in the rain and adrenaline that still courses in his bloodstream. There’s a lot of expletives thrown around and the sound of his name, but all Namjoon could manage is a small smirk and occasional laughter, still feeling weak and reeling.
“Hyung. Thank you.” It’s the most sincere voice Namjoon’s ever heard from his friend and he chuckles, pulling him into a tight hug.
“Don’t mention it.”
Taehyung continues to gush, but the victory is short lived. The sound of tires screeching on pavement catches their attention and suddenly, Namjoon’s staring at a pair of headlights that’s hurtling closer at an incredible speed. He had a split second to react, and with whatever strength he has left, he pushes Taehyung backwards, noting the fear in the younger man’s face as his eyes widen, mouth hanging open while empty hands tries to grab a hold of Namjoon.
But he’s too slow.
There’s a loud crash and his body is shot backwards, tumbling into the soft earth as pain blooms like flowers all over his skin. Namjoon groans, dizzy and disoriented – a loud ringing in his ears making it hard for him to focus. He hears Taehyung shout his name in horror, and the squelching noise of boots sliding down on earth, but everything is muffled. Namjoon finds tears in the younger man’s eyes and he lifts his hand only for it to fall back on his chest. He wants to assure him that he’s fine, but with no strength left, his voice comes out in gurgles and tasting like iron in his mouth. His eyes are refusing to stay open, mind being pulled under a heavy blanket of hurt.
And the last thing he hears before the world fades to black is Taehyung’s broken voice.
“NAMJOON!”
══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════
“There you go, sweetie, make sure you remind mommy to take her medication, okay?” you smile, winking at the young girl as her mother bows and mutters her thanks. The girl gives you a toothy smile, promising that she’ll take care of her mum in your absence, waving cutely as the pair exit your office.
It’s just another morning for you, filled with patients and reports that require your attention. You stretch, feeling strangely stiff despite only sitting for an hour. You allow yourself a moment of silence as you finish typing up your notes, sipping your tea with a hum before calling the next patient inside.
“Mrs. Chen,” you stand, greeting the elderly woman with a smile. “Please come on in. How’s yo—”
The frantic call of your name captures your attention away. You turn your head towards your closed door, wondering if it’s just your imagination. When you hear it again, you’re already moving, excusing yourself from a terrified looking Mrs. Chen as you throw her a quick, strained smile, assuring her that everything is just fine. As soon as you step foot outside, the lobby is a mess of thundering feet and gasps and it takes you a dizzying moment to grab the nearest nurse, demanding an explanation.
“There’s someone calling for you, doc,” he explains breathlessly. “In the ER – it’s bad.”
That’s all the information you need. Feet pounding against the white tile, you speed to the emergency lobby to come face-to-face with a man that you vaguely know, his face oddly familiar though you’re sure you’ve never met him before. But you have no time to dwell on where you could’ve encountered such a handsome stranger because it’s what he’s holding that makes you stop cold in your tracks, the blood freezing instantly in your veins.
In his trembling arms lies a very broken Namjoon, right foot twisting in the wrong direction and blood dripping onto the floor over a gash on his forehead. If you screamed, you had no recollection of it, because you’re instantly in action, directing and calling out nurses to assist you as you instruct the young man to lay Namjoon down on the hospital bed, the white sheets turning red instantly upon contact.
“Please. S-Save him,” the dark-haired man begs, tears flooding his face as his body shakes with panic.
It’s his eyes that caused a surge of memory to come forth – of Namjoon bringing in photos of him in one of his visits as he explains about how he’s more like a younger brother than a friend; telling you stories about the myriads of trouble he’s gotten into in the past. Swallowing thickly, you instruct the nearest nurse to bring him a blanket and some tea, hoping it’ll calm the young man down while you steel yourself to face Namjoon. The lobby is frantic, your team of nurses calling out numbers: heartrate, blood pressure, oxygen levels and the like, but it all fades to the background, their words muffled as you hear the sound of your own blood rushing in your ears. This isn’t the time to panic, you chastise yourself quickly. You have to go. Now.
With a pounding heart, you force yourself to enter the emergency room, your eyes straining as you assess Namjoon’s unconscious figure, double checking the clipboard that is thrusted into your open hands. A nurse rattles off the numbers again while you wash your hands, and you breathe a little easier, the textbook information in your head reminding you that he’s stable and not in any immediate danger.
“He’s hooked to the IV? Good. How much blood has he lost? Okay, that should be all right. He’ll be fine.” Your voice doesn’t sound like it belongs to you, but you continue to work, asking for scissors as you slice open his clothes to take a look at the damage. Your eyes roam quickly over his exposed figure, instructions falling from your lips as you guide your team through every procedure.
From your assessment, Namjoon’s condition isn’t as bad as the multiple bruises and blood suggested – two broken ribs and a broken leg; the gash on his forehead thankfully isn’t deep and won’t require much stitching either. Tears of relief start to well in your eyes, but you take a shuddering breath, trying to keep your emotions in check as you close the last stitch, grateful for the additional pairs of hands that’s helping you from all sides.
Your breathing is laboured when you’re done and Namjoon’s heartbeat no longer looking like jagged mountains gives you an even greater sense of solace as you slump in a nearby chair. He’s going to be okay. The nurses around you whisper as such and you nod mutely. With a heavy heart, you tear yourself away from Namjoon’s side, letting the nurses dress his wounds up with practiced ease as you exit out of the room to talk to the man outside.
Blinking into the sun, a glance at your watch shows that you’ve been in the room with Namjoon for longer than a couple of hours, though it felt like a few minutes barely passed by. You find the man in the lobby, nodding asleep for a few minutes before jerking awake, dark circles underneath his eyes. When he spots your approaching figure, he stands abruptly, blanket falling away from his shoulders to pool around the plastic chair. His bottom lip begins to quiver and fresh tears wets his cheeks as you slump next to him, urging him to sit with a wave of your hand.
“Is he…”
“He’s going to be just fine,” you reassure him, flashing him a tired smile.
You listen quietly while he – Taehyung is his name – talks about the race, about the debts, and about Cho Yongjin. The story he’s telling doesn’t make a lick of sense; exhaustion and stress slurring his speech, but you can piece together the gist of it and though you want to be mad at the foolish man in front of you, there’s not a shred of energy left for you to nag. So, you pat him in the shoulder and asked him to go home; to shower and sleep before returning to the hospital.
Peace returns quickly after the commotion and you spend the rest of your afternoon rescheduling appointments with your patients, apologising profusely at the inconvenience today’s events might have caused. Clearing your schedule for the rest of your shift, you make your way towards Namjoon’s room, opening the door quietly after taking a few deep breaths.
There’s never a time in all your education that could have prepared you for this very moment. You can write recipes for medicine that no one knows how to pronounce or recite with your eyes closed the chemical components that make up aspirin, but watching Namjoon unconscious in the bed, blues and purples marring his skin?
This is fresh hell.
And you’d endure all the pain and studying that got you this damn job if it means Namjoon wakes up from his slumber.
You take his hand in yours, pressing your warm forehead on the back of his cool palm. In the quiet of his room with the sounds of beeping machines and sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains, you screw your eyes shut, thinking about his laughter and the dimpled smiles he’d throw your way.
“Please wake up soon. You still owe me a date, yeah? Come back to me, Joon,” you whisper, but no one answers.
Kim Namjoon.
Careful to avoid the stitches on his forehead, you push his hair away from his face while letting out a shuddering sigh. You gaze at his sleeping form for a long time, heart aching at the scraps and blooming bruises all over his skin. You had no plans of falling for this man, but after countless hospital visits and conversations, you find yourself thinking about Namjoon more often than you’d like to admit.
It started out with a simple ‘I wonder what he’s doing now’ while you’re filling out paperwork until it gradually evolved into actively searching for his dark mop of hair in the waiting room. He rarely comes in with any grievous injuries, only simple ones that hardly require your attention, but you wanted to be the one to examine him anyway – going through the bells and whistles you wouldn’t provide to a normal patient.
You wonder if he knew of every instance you stalled him from leaving; after all, a paper cut hardly requires a stethoscope to the chest. But every time he walks out the hospital doors with a wink and a promise to return, there’s a mixture of elation and disquiet in your heart, fearing that the back you’ve been watching for so long will disappear one day.
Odd. This man is odd.
“Namjoon,” you whimper, voice strained and broken. You’ve nagged him to be careful, made him swear not to do anything dangerous. So, how dare he come back to the hospital so quickly to disrupt your quiet work day? How could he ask you out on a date only to end up badly injured and unconscious?
You long for his smile, for those adorable dimples that tug at your heart strings, but his face remains impassive – captured in sleep.
And finally, after holding yourself in check in front of Taehyung and the nurses, your mask slips and you let yourself sob.
══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════
Pain.
Lots and lots of fucking pain.
From his leg, to his chest. Even breathing fucking hurt. Namjoon tries to groan, but that only amplifies the scratchiness of his throat and his displeasure only grows when he sees that he’s been fitted into one of those plastic, green hospital gowns which make a racket of noise every time he moves. Unable to sit up, he’s forced to take a look at his unfamiliar surroundings by just turning his head. Memories of the race come flooding in: the dangerous turn, the victory, and then a pair of headlights before everything turns black.
Yongjin.
Anger boils under his skin as Namjoon thinks bitterly about the slimy man, hoping that he gets what he deserves. He doesn’t need his fucking money as long as he stays the fuck away from Taehyung. He flinches when he hears the door open; pain blooming on his neck when he cranes his head over the bed rail to see his visitor. And, oh, despite being furious just moments before, he sighs, a smile worming his way into his features when you walk in.
“Namjoon?” you whisper in disbelief, hands coming to cup your mouth as your clipboard clatters to the floor.
“Hey,” he manages to croak out with a lopsided smile, voice gruff from unuse. “What’s up, doc?”
“Oh my god.”
Namjoon groans quietly when you charge towards the bed with a speed that matches Cherry, apologies fluttering past your trembling lips as you cradle his head into an embrace. He feels tears on his scalp and though he wants to hug you right back, his limbs scream with exhaustion, so he sits lamely with his hands by his side, waiting for you to finish.
“Hey, hey, I’m okay,” he whispers into your arm, Adam’s apple bobbing as tears prick in his own eyes.
After some time, you manage to extract yourself from his head with a loud sniffle, settling on a chair next to his bed. You fill him in on all the details he’s missed: he’s been asleep for three days (“Not uncommon,” you reassure him); Yongjin is behind bars for attempted murder; and the best news of all? Taehyung and Cherry are both fine.
“And you?” he asks after you help him take a large swig of water. “Are you fine?”
Your eyes soften at his question and his heart wrenches in his chest when you bite your bottom lip to keep them from trembling. “I wasn’t,” you mumble, eyes casting downwards on the empty plastic cup in your hand. “I was scared and I didn’t know what to do and I… I thought I’d lost you.”
Namjoon hums, whispering your name to get you to look up. He musters the most brilliant smile he can manage. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”
You exhale loudly, a small smile on your lips. To Namjoon’s surprise, you take his hand and thread your fingers through the spaces, kissing each digit gently. When your eyes meet his dark ones again, he sees the raw emotion behind them; of a calm shore at the end a heavy the storm. “I’m okay now. I’m glad you’re awake.”
The two of you gaze into each other’s eyes, the world melting away slowly until the only thing that exists in Namjoon’s sight is you.
Just you.
“We’re going to have to get a rain check on our date, huh, doc?” Namjoon grins lopsidedly, trying to ease his hammering heartbeat. “I mean, until I’m better at least.”
You make a short snorting sound, covering your mouth with your empty hand. “You need to get better quickly then.”
A quiet whimper of protest escapes from his throat when you stand, but he knows you have other patients to attend to, so he lets you go. Just as your hand grazes the handle of the door, he calls your name. You turn around with a tilt of your chin, eyebrows furrowed and eyes darting around to make sure that he’s not in pain.
“I like you,” Namjoon confesses with a bright dimpled smile.
There’s a tension in your shoulders as you blink at him, head tilting to the side as your brain registers his confession. He keeps his steady gaze on you until your mouth slowly falls open and your hand clasps over it, eyes bulging after connecting the dots. The two of you stare at each other for a moment, Namjoon’s grin growing wider as you start to flounder for words.
“I- I like you too,” you admit quietly, flashing him a small smile. Namjoon snickers when you clear your throat in embarrassment, turning haphazardly around and banging your clipboard loudly on the door, causing you to jump backwards in surprise. You join him in his boisterous laughter at your clumsiness, raking your hands through your hair. With a final glance at Namjoon, you leave the room, lab coat fluttering behind you as you close the door shut.
---
“Ow, ow, be gentle with me, will ya?” Namjoon pouts, protruding his bottom lip as you change his bandages. “I’m an injured man!”
Before you can retort, the door opens, laughter filtering in the room as Taehyung stands in the doorway. “Aww, hyung, don’t be such a wuss!” he laughs, popping an orange slice in his mouth while watching the entire scene unfold.
He’s been visiting the hospital frequently since the accident, usually no more than a few hours at most to share a few stories from the shop or his day-to-day life. Much to Namjoon’s surprise, he admitted to distancing himself from his so-called ‘friends’ after what happened, swearing that he never wants to put anyone he loves in that kind of position again.
“No friends of mine would ever think of endangering my life,” Taehyung mourned in one of his earlier visits. “Seeing you on the ground… that’s what changed. I mean, my life is pretty boring now without them, but I have you and the fellas at the shop.”
Namjoon’s proud of him for making such a mature decision and when he expressed as such, Taehyung laughs bitterly before choking back a sob, apologies spilling from his lips as he presses his head on Namjoon’s bed. He merely strokes the younger man’s hair as his tears stain the white sheets, reminding him that he’s – for the most part – all right and unharmed.
Then, there’s you.
The first couple of days of medication and sleep left a tinge of haziness in Namjoon’s memory, but he could faintly recall the quiet click of the door opening and a warm hand enveloping his in all hours of the day and sometimes, well into the night, along with gentle whispers of praise and gratefulness that he’s alive. The two of you haven’t talked about the confession since it happened and Namjoon has been dying to understand the depths of your feelings.
He watches you talk animatedly with Taehyung as he takes up the empty chair in the room, wondering when the pair had time to get closer to the point where they’re comfortable enough with one another to poke fun at Namjoon. His laughter is strained and high-pitch when Taehyung mentioned his crush on you, cheeks burning and eyes falling to his lap to avoid further embarrassment.
The mirth disappears when your hand ghosts over his ribs, accidentally prodding a little too hard on the bruise. “OW!” Namjoon jerks, causing the bed to rattle. He hisses in pain while looking tearily up at you. “What was that for?”
The scowl on your face isn’t reassuring, but it’s one of concern instead of irritation. “Sorry,” you quickly mutter, going back to touch his chest with gentler fingers. “I want to check on your ribs to see if they’re healing properly. There’s nothing alarming, besides the fact that you’re blue.”
Namjoon grimaces, looking down on his naked torso at the cuts and bruises marring the skin. He had been lucky to be alive, a fact you frequently point out when he whines and pouts over syringes, especially after getting hit directly by Yongjin’s car. Thinking about the bastard behind bars gives him a sense of comfort, though he knows it wouldn’t be long before his family would make bail.
He shakes his head to clear the image, not wanting to think about the short man with a sleazy grin, and trying to focus instead on the words he missed coming out of Taehyung’s mouth. “Huh? What was that?”
“I asked if the two of you are dating now.”
A blanket of silence stretches across the three of you. Taehyung looks puzzled, eyes flickering from Namjoon’s stricken face to your flustered one. His eyes slowly widen as realization dawns on him and he abruptly stands up, popping the rest of his orange slices in his mouth, wincing at the strong taste of citrus. “Uh, I have somewhere to be!” he stammers quickly, dusting himself off and bolting towards the door. Taehyung throws Namjoon a look that conveys his apologies, laughing forcefully before he leaves. “I’ll come by, um, tomorrow, maybe – yeah! See you guys later!”
The door slams shut.
Namjoon’s dumbfounded, staring at the space where Taehyung had taken up residence not five seconds ago, wishing he could wrap his hands around the brunette’s neck. He turns his face towards you hesitantly, slightly afraid of what he’ll find, but your eyes are on your clipboard, pen scribbling away as you jot down notes about the status of his recovery.
“Sooo…” he begins, scratching his head with his hand. Namjoon’s not really sure what to say, his brain is coming up with nothing as his gaze shifts between you and the blanket on his lap. “Uh, that was kind of weird, huh?”
You hum in response, eyes never leaving your paperwork. As the silence continues to settle, awkwardness reared its ugly head and mocks Namjoon, at his flushed cheeks and sweaty forehead. He clears his throat a couple of times, but the words die in his throat and – fuck – did the room get hotter somehow?
“Well, Joon” – he didn’t mean to jump, but he does anyway when you address him so casually – “it looks like everything checks out. You’ll probably be able to leave within a few weeks if your leg heals up nicely…” You trail off, brows knitted together. “Are you in any sort of pain? What’s wrong?”
A pang of relief and disappointment washes over Namjoon at the question – you didn’t hear what Taehyung said. He stares at you for a heartbeat, wondering if he should repeat it. His mouth opens and closes a few times before eventually settling with: “What are you doing after this?”
You bring your pen to tap on your chin, mouth pressed into a thin line and head tilted to the side. “I’m actually done for the day and was about to head home. Why? Are you still hungry after dinner?” you quiz teasingly, winking in his direction. “I can probably sneak you some jello from the cafeteria if you want?”
The offer is tempting. Namjoon shakes his head, bringing his hands up to stop you. “No, no – I was wondering if you can stay, y’know… with me?”
“Yeah! For sure, what’s on your mind?”
Fuck. He hasn’t thought this far ahead.
Like a car with a bad battery, his brain stalls while trying to find conversation topics because all he really wants is to ask you the question that’s been on the tip of his tongue since Taehyung left. Namjoon’s faced his fears numerous times when it comes to street racing, getting caught by the fuzz being high up the list, but this is much, much worse than the threat of prison.
He exhales slowly, eyes finding yours again. His shaky hands envelope your small ones and he closes his eyes for a moment. “I like you,” he breathes, watching the way you blink rapidly at his sudden confession. “I know you’ve said you liked me too and… I want to make things official. Do you want to go steady with me?”
“As in be your girlfriend?”
Namjoon nods, prodding his tongue to his cheek in hopes of looking nonchalant.
The heart monitor betrays his stoic expression. Fuck.
The shock written all over your face feels foreboding and Namjoon’s heart starts to sink, but then a small grin breaks through as you nod.
“I’d love to go steady with you, Joon,” you laugh, squeezing his hand gently.
He swears he could stand up and beat the Jaguar XK120 at a race after hearing your answer. He pulls you in for a hug, ignoring the throbbing pain in his side as you bump into him, half-stumbling into the bed and giggling as you hug him back awkwardly, flailing limbs still fitting perfectly around his neck.
“Thank you,” he beams, releasing you from his hold. “I swear when I’m all better, we can go on a real date. Like I promised.”
“I’d like that very much,” you grin.
A moment turned into a few hours and after leaving momentarily to grab your things, it turns into a whole night filled with conversation. You find yourself cramped by his side on the small hospital bed, swapping stories about street racing, Namjoon’s work as a mechanic, and life in general. He learned about your family and more in-depth about your studies, marveling at the well of knowledge that lies in your brain as you answer all his medical questions on the fly.
“So, you’re telling me that we’re developing technology that can reattach a finger?” he gasps.
“Yes! Isn’t that fascinating? Nerves and all. I don’t know when it’ll be available for the public, and I’m sure there’s going to be a high risk of failure when it comes to testing, but it’ll be great if it covers alllimbs and not just fingers,” you reply enthusiastically.
Namjoon just stares as you launch into a different topic, hands moving animatedly to make your point as you lie nestled on his chest. You had asked earlier in the night if you could turn the lights off, claiming that the fluorescent lights give you a headache and he’d obliged, but now, in the shroud of darkness with the pale moon barely shining through the sheer curtains, Namjoon wonders if he’s made a mistake. The conversation, although innocent, feels intimate when you’re the only two people in a dark room and if you paid attention to the heart monitor, you’d be able to see the spikes in the chart where his heart beats a little quicker in his chest.
“Namjoon?”
“Hm?” he asks, panicking slightly because he definitely has not been listening to what you’ve been saying for the past few minutes.
“Look at me real quick.”
Busted.
"Ah, I'm sorry for not paying attenti—"
The apologies that tumble from his lips are stolen by your own enveloping his, your thumb stroking his cheek delicately. He’s stunned for a moment as his brain catches up to the scene, but soon, he melts into the kiss, angling his head slightly to avoid bumping your nose as he wraps his arms around your waist. It starts off slow, tentative, as you explore each other's mouths, tongues colliding and intertwining, gasps uttered between millimetres of spaces. Namjoon tightens his hold around your waist, drinking you in as he moans into your mouth, fireworks exploding gently in his brain as his pulse takes over the beeping of the surrounding machines. You break apart to push yourself upwards, careful when you straddle his lap to avoid any of his injuries before resuming, but the kiss this time is hungrier – more desperate as you clutch his face firmly in your hands.
“Hey,” Namjoon gasps between breaths, pulling you away slightly while you continue to chase his lips. “Look at me, hey, baby, what’s wrong?”
He grips your shoulders gently before his palms sweep over your arms, watching the way your eyes dart across his face – at the worry that rests in your furrowed eyebrows and the downturned corners of your lips. “When you were unconscious,” you breathe, pushing his hair away from his forehead. “I didn’t think I understood what it meant to be afraid. Ever since then, I’ve felt this rush and… I just don’t want to lose you, Joon.”
Namjoon cups your cheek, and your eyes close when his thumb strokes your delicate, soft skin. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
You nod, a brilliant smile returning as you capture his lips once more, fingers threading through his hair. Namjoon’s arms wrap around your waist and bring you closer, pulling you into his chest. He runs his hands up and down your back, moaning when your hips start to grind on his lap. You took that opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth, coaxing the muscle to meet with yours.
“I’m so fucking turned on and, god, you are not helping one bit,” Namjoon groans, tilting your chin upwards to place kisses on the length of your jaw. His other hand grips your waist, helping you rock against his hardening cock. “Fuck,if it weren’t for my injuries...” he trails off.
“Some other time when you’re all better, yeah? For now, let me take care of you,” you gasp, pushing Namjoon back on the bed to kiss his neck. Your lips sear into his skin, every bite sending shivers down his spine as he tips his head back and calls your name.
He palms your ass over your pants; your hips still rutting against his cock. Fireworks explode when he closes his eyes and it doesn't take long before he's breathless, pulse quickening when he feels your warm fingers trailing circles on his hip over the hospital gown. Namjoon slips his hand under your shirt, mimicking the motion on your lower back. You groan into his neck, suckling gently on the delicate skin. "Take it off?" Namjoon requests, tugging the waistband down.
With great effort and a lot of shuffling, you manage to get your pants off, flinging the offending material into the darkness. Namjoon stares at your semi-naked state, unable to believe that you were all his. “You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, voice wavering with emotion. “Come here.”
When your lips find his again, it’s like he’s racing for the very first time – the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he steals glances of the blurring scenery outside of his window. But it’s also different; because no race he’s ever won has made him feel so alive, like every nerve ending that exists in his body sings for you and only you. And when you moan, the sound makes him dizzy and disoriented, blood rushing to his head as he tries to savour every little noise you make in order to engrave them on his heart as best as he could.
“Lean back for me – yeah, I’m okay. Good girl,” Namjoon rasps, wetting his lips as you follow his instructions. Your hands are on the sides of the mattress, legs propped up, as you lean back, moaning when his large hands rub your thighs.
He pushes your underwear to the side to reveal your heated core. Namjoon watches carefully as his thumb runs up and down your slit. He notes every gasp – every twitch of your body as your eyes droop close, head falling back while you try to keep your legs open.
“That's my good girl, so wet for me already,” Namjoon chuckles quietly, cocking a playful eyebrow your way as his fingers spread your folds apart before immediately swiping at your clit with his thumb, occasionally adding pressure that makes you moan and shiver above him.
“Joon,” you pant, hips starting to buck into his hands. “Want you. Put your fingers inside of me, please?”
“Not yet, let me enjoy this a little bit, yeah?”
Your moans are getting louder, thighs quacking as he continues to observe your body, learning when to switch gears to best drive you wild.
“Please…” you murmur, grinding into his fingers. “Please.”
Namjoon exhales, a dimpled smile on his face. While his other thumb continues to make figure eights on your clit, he brings two fingers and pops them in his mouth, coating the digits with his saliva before lining them up with your entrance. You’re a whimpering mess when he pushes them inside; the sharp sounds of your wet cunt harmonizing with your moans is a beautiful melody to his ears. Your hand clutches his uninjured leg for balance as you spread your legs wider, giving him more access to your core. Namjoon doesn’t know if he believes in a higher being, but he’s grateful that the accident didn’t render him incapable of using his hands.
“Namjoon, fuck, f-faster.” You utter the last syllable in a lilting voice and he’s quick to follow your demands, his lap and wrists getting coated with your arousal as he thrusts faster, fingers curling and uncurling on your g-spot.
The sheer hospital gown does nothing to hide his erection as he observes your fucked out face, lost in pleasure that he’s providing, causing pride to build in his chest.
“Fuck, Joon, right there! Oh! I’m gonna – ngh – gonna cum,” you keen, muscles tensing and growing tighter around his digits.
He kept his pace; neither too fast nor too slow. He’s moaning with you – his own breathing mirroring yours. With a high pitch whine, you unravel all over his fingers, eyes screwed shut in ecstasy as your whole body shakes, breathing in deeply – waiting for the orgasm to recede. Namjoon leaves your warmth to sit up and embrace you, hands circling around your waist tightly as he kisses your lips, reminding you how beautiful you are in between breaths while choosing to ignore the groaning of his joints as they’re forced to move too quickly. Your hands thread to his hair, tugging at the dark strands and whimpering quietly.
“Joon,” you pant, trying to push him back down. “Lie down. Doctor’s orders.”
Smirking against your lips, he grinds his hips upwards as his hands pin your hips down, letting you feel every drag of his hard cock against your pussy. Namjoon grins devilishly at the way your eyes flutter shut and your mouth hanging open in a silent ‘oh’. “But, baby,” he fake pouts, voice low as he continues to grind. “I love being close to you.”
“F-Fine, fuck, don’t stop – mmh,” you moan, hands clasping his broad shoulders as you work in tandem with his hips.
Namjoon’s cock twitches in anticipation – the itch to bury himself inside you builds with every wanton cry of his name gracing your lips and with every rock of your hips, he’s lost – gritting his teeth to avoid cumming in his boxers. “Shit, I don’t think I can last much longer,” he chuckles, cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Your movements falter, a smirk playing on your lips. “Oh?” you reply simply. "And if I do this?" Your hands snake underneath the hospital gown and rake down his chest, fingers latching on to his nipples while your hips pick up its pace.
He had to screw his eyes shut; his body barely propped up by his exhausted arms, head falling backwards. Namjoon trembles with every drag of your dull fingernails across his chest, grunting desperately as the waves of pleasure shoot down his spine. “Baby, please, don’t tease. I- I can’t –”
Finally, your oscillating hips stop their movements and it’s your turn to watch with glee at the man panting desperately underneath you. Namjoon has barely enough sense left in his brain, half-lidded eyes staring at you as the heart monitor beeps faster in the distance. “Shit, you almost made me cum.”
You grace him with a saccharine smile, saying nothing as you pull his boxers down. The gasp that leaves your mouth puts a tired half-smirk on Namjoon’s face, loving the way your eyes travel from his red tip all the way to the base. Despite the darkness, he catches movement from your throat as you gulp. Gingerly, you lift yourself from the bed to shift your body so the head lines up to your entrance. Your gaze locks to his and without breaking eye contact, you sink lower, mouth hanging open to mirror his.
Namjoon breaks eye contact as he feels your velvet walls around him. He curses loudly when you begin to move, your moans intertwining with his. He knows he’s not going to last – not when your pussy is milking his cock with every thrust. With glazed eyes, he watches you unbutton your blouse and unhook your bra, quickly discarding them with the growing pile next to the bed. You grab his hands and place it over your tits, moaning when he squeezes the tender flesh and rolls the pert nipples with his fingers.
Though his body groans in exhaustion, Namjoon snaps his hips upwards in time with your movements, fucking into you and aiming at the spot that causes your eyes to flutter shut and chanting his name. His hand slips between your thighs as you bounce, tracing circles on your clit to aid your orgasm along.
“Joon,” you whimper into the air, raking your fingernails across his chest gently to leave the barest of red trails on his skin. “I’m gonna fucking cum—”
“Cum for me, let me watch you,” he groans, his hand abandoning your tits to steady your hips while the other continues to swipe alphabets between your thighs.
Namjoon smirks at your attempt to be quiet - at the series of 'oh fuck's from your lips before your walls constrict around him. You manage a strangled cry of his name as the orgasm washes over you, sending you into overdrive; your body shaking and trembling while you latch onto his shoulder for balance. He continues his pace, fucking into you as the coil in his own stomach grow tighter.
"Fuck, fuck, I'm cumming—" he growls, gripping your hips tight as he thrusts one final time, burying his cock deep into your cunt; spurts of his cum spilling inside your walls and mixing with your arousal. You ride him slowly as you both come down from your high before you eventually stop and sit shivering on top of his lap.
Shallow breaths and beeping fills the room while he gazes at you; at the way the moonlight illuminates your features, making you look ethereal and glowing. Namjoon cradles your cheek, pulling you down to plant a slow kiss on your lips, his arm circling your waist as he gently fucks you with his softening dick before it eventually leaves your warmth.
The two of you lay there for another minute with him occasionally kissing the top of your head, listening to the sound of your breathing as it steadies itself.
“Are you okay?” he murmurs, trying to look down on your spent body. The pain is returning, his joints feeling sore after the strenuous activity.
You nod, bringing your beautiful gaze to meet his, a curl of a smile on your features. “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” you whisper, landing a peck on his lips.
“Nonsense. You made me feel so much better.”
You grin at his words, one he returns enthusiastically as he bends lower to claim your lips once more. “Okay,” you giggle, pulling away. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Namjoon protests as your warmth leaves his side, the bed instantly feeling bigger and cold as you gather your clothes strewn on the ground. When you’re semi decent, you grab a rag from the bathroom, the one the other nurses use to help him bathe, and gently, you clean the drying cum off his abdomen. “All better,” you grin, placing the rag in the laundry basket.
You settle back to his side after cleaning yourself off, nuzzling under the covers as you continue to talk about your life. Namjoon’s only half-listening, the irresistible call of sleep coming from every direction. When he succumbs, he feels you plant a kiss on his cheek, whispering ‘good night’.
---
When he dreams that night, it’s about driving. He’s going ten miles over the speed limit in an empty stretch of land; with the windows down and music blaring, his palms tapping rhythmically on the steering wheel. The scenery blurs into tints of blues and greens and Namjoon laughs – finally feeling free as he throws a hand out of the window to feel the cool air. The sound of your giggles from the passenger seat cause him to turn his neck, an adoring smile on his lips as he studies your figure for a fraction before returning his gaze to the road. With cheetahs in your wind-swept hair and eyes wide and bright, you cheer – your own hand sticking out of the window, mirroring his movements.
If there was a breathtaking scenery outside of the moving vehicle in his dream, he wouldn’t be able to recall it in the morning.
And when he blinks awake, sunlight streaming into the hospital room, his joints are heavy and sore.
Because lying down next to him, head perfectly fitted in the crook of his neck, is you.
The most beautiful view.
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wwilloww · 2 months ago
Text
sh. | ot7 | chapter seven
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PAIRING ot7 x reader
RATING Explicit. 18+.
GENRE smut. fluff. angst. nonidol au. wildnerness au. roommates au. friends to lovers. SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
WC 5.1k
WARNINGS AND TAGS reference to reader with she/her pronouns. voyeurism. jerking off. grinding. cursing. cum. cum eating. mess.
AN this is for the anon who MONTHS AGO asked if I could write more kissing scenes. I’ve been working on it, and here you go.
big smooches to @jinpanman and @calixwrites for being the best, most wonderfullest, sweetest betas ever. and to the lovely readers, thank you for being along for the ride. a version with they/them pronouns will be up tomorrow. otherwise, i hope you enjoy this chapter 💕
← || series m.list || →
©️ wwilloww do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.
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CHAPTER SEVEN
Hearing Jungkook curse at himself as you leave him behind in the kitchen, you can’t help the smile that spreads like warm honey across your lips. You cover it with a hand like it’s a secret, even though there’s no one to see you. It still feels good to have something that’s yours, just yours, deliciously forbidden.
However, as you round the corner in the direction Jungkook had pointed, you feel something warm begin to slide down your leg. You gasp. Loudly.
“You okay?” Jungkook calls from behind you.
Yoongi pokes his head out from the study he’s commandeered. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” You say, rather too quickly. Yoongi takes one look at you. He knows you’re lying. His gaze roves over you and you quickly clench your legs together, as if that could stop the impending disaster. It doesn’t, and Jungkook’s cum slides further down your leg.
“Oh?” He cocks an eyebrow at you as Jungkook rounds the corner, looking — well, to be frank about it — wildly fuckable and even more so, recently fucked.
As Yoongi looks between the two of you you hurriedly say, “Soap! I got soap on my legs!”
“Soap?” he questions, doubt riddling his tone.
“Yup. Soap.”
“It was me,” Jungkook shrugs. “I got soap on her.”
Yoongi knows bullshit when he sees it, but there’s still a half written song waiting for him in his makeshift studio, so he rolls his eyes, mutters a quick, “And here I was thinking your enthusiasm for dishwashing was nonexistent,” and disappears back into the study.
Jungkook and you both let out a nervous chuckle once the door closes and glance at each other.
“Maybe I should—”
“Wash up first?”
“Yeah.”
“Sounds like an excellent plan,” Jungkook says. “Unless you’re ready to spill the beans?” He grins.
“That’s the problem. You already literally spilled the beans,” you say, again too quickly, because you haven’t even finished speaking before you grimace at your own innuendo.
“Ew.”
“I know. Okay.” You salute to Jungkook before walking away, grimacing at your two fouls in quick succession. It’s now your turn to curse at yourself.
You hurry to your bedroom, grateful to find it empty. You wash up, and don the largest sweater in your suitcase and some comfy pants. After a second thought and a small secret smirk, you take the pants off, along with your underwear, and redress. Not that anyone will notice, you think. It’ll just be my little secret. But then again, you hadn’t planned to be fucked once this whole trip and yet, well, it just keeps happening.
Dressed, mostly, you begin to make your way in the direction Jungkook had pointed you.
How is it that you’ve been in this house for almost a week now and still haven’t seen this part of it?
The house, built into a steep slope, seems to branch out into the very mountain itself in ways you never expected when you pulled up that first day. Immeasurably larger than you expected, room after graceful room unfolds from the hallways you wander down. Dark wooden floors reflect the late autumn light pooling from tall, narrow windows, and are cool beneath your socked feet.
As you walk, you run over what you’re going to say in your head.
Hoseok, I have been fucking Jungkook. And Jimin. And in the past, sometimes Yoongi.
No, no, that sounds all wrong. Serious and confessional — when no one has opened up the space for confession in the first place. But there’s something, on the tip of your tongue, in the hollow of your throat that you feel needs to be said to him. Maybe it’s a question.
What do you think of all of this? Do you want to fuck all of our friends? Have you ever imagined ravishing me up against a wall while all of our buddies are in the other room, cooking dinner?
No, no, no! That’s even worse. Tension simmers in your stomach. It’s like the purpose itself — the purpose of Hoseok — is hiding from you. And so you resign yourself to a truth you have relied on for many years: Hobi always knows what to say. He’ll know what to say. You take a deep breath and square up your shoulders as you continue to wander through the house.
There’s one hallway just a little darker than the others, branching off to your left. At the end of it, stands a single, tall door with a key, waiting in the lock. You have the sudden desire to see what’s inside, but something urges you: not now. I’ll have to see what all that is about later, you think. So you continue on.
And then finally, what you have been looking for appears.
A large wooden door stretches high up to the ceiling. You feel like an ant in front of it.  You shoulder the door open, expecting it to be heavy, but instead it glides open smoothly and silently to reveal the library behind it. You peek your head in.
“Hobi?”
No response. You venture further inside.
It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The large room is built directly into the mountain, the exposed granite belly of the land serving as the wall on the right. A kind of grey coolness radiates off of the stone, while on the other side of the room, bright autumn sunlight spills in like liquid gold across hardwood and mismatched rugs. It feels like two halves of the universe, stone and sun. Like a beginning and ending of a book, if that could be encapsulated by space.
Tall natural wood bookshelves are staggered throughout, creating a maze of sorts, and lights in large bubbles of glass hang down at various heights from the roof, transforming shadow into warm glow.  You wander through the stacks, tracing a finger along the spines of books, which are somehow free of dust despite assumed disuse. The space is cared for, thoughtfully. And you think you could get lost here. Happily.
From behind a massive bookshelf, the room opens up to reveal a half circle of plush chairs, a dark wooden table, and a studious figure hunched over it.  You peek out from behind the books.
“Hob — Joonie?”
He doesn’t hear you. His face is pressed in concentration, a glimmer of sweat dancing across his brow. In one hand he holds a beautiful old book, the cover traced with antique intricacies. As you begin to take a step forward, you hear Namjoon draw a long, shaky breath in.
You watch his knuckles turn white with the tension of holding the large volume. What is he doing?
All at once, he throws his head back and breathes out a name: your name.
“What—” You slap your hand over your mouth, as if you already know this is something you’re not supposed to be witnessing. And yet you can’t tear your eyes away from the scene unfolding before you.
The book drops from his hand, landing on the floor with a thud. You watch his face, his eyes closed, as if he didn’t even notice that what looked like a very expensive antique has just bounced on the hard floor. Behind the book his hand is wrapped around —
His hand is wrapped around his cock. His motherfucking gigantic cock.
His large palm strokes a leisurely path up and down the reddening and pulsing shaft, precome leaking from the tip. Sounds of pleasure spill from his lips as he rushes towards release, desperate and unperceiving of everything except for the padlock of fantasy playing behind his eyelids.
I’m not supposed to see this. You gasp, twirling back behind the bookshelf to hide yourself, but in your haste your shoulder bumps the shelf and a book falls to the floor with a loud thump.
Namjoon stutters in surprise and you can hear him fumbling in his seat, but you don’t wait to find out if he knows you’re there or not. Breath hitching in your throat, you try to sneak away as quietly as you can, but it’s not long before you hear heavy footsteps sounding behind you.
“Hello?” Namjoon calls. You pick up the pace, now running through the maze of shelves, a maze that you now curse.
Before you, a thin flight of stairs appears and with a glance behind you, you creep up them, trying to keep your steps as silent as possible.
“Hyung? Is that you?”
You curse as the stairs creak beneath your foot. You can hear him getting closer, so you sprint to the top of the stairs, arriving at a thin landing that stretches across the perimeter of the wall. This is worse, you think, as the whole landing is visible from the floor of the library. But then you spot a small stone archway and race towards it.
Breath shuddering heavily and loudly in your chest as you lean against the cold natural stone cut out of the mountain. Cheeks burning with shock, embarrassment, maybe even arousal, the coolness feels like a silver relief. This was not the strange, unnavigable interaction you had planned for the library. It surprises you, and yet —
All of those days spent cooped up in your tiny two bedroom city apartment come flooding back. The times when Namjoon emerged from his bedroom, a little sweaty (like you just saw him), a little reddened (like you just saw him), and with a little bit of a glow around him (just like you just saw him). A nervous laugh bubbles out of your throat.
Of course he had been jerking off while you lived together. You’re not prudish enough to think otherwise. But knowing about it and knowing the specifics of it are completely different things. You can’t help but imagine all those nights where you had your hand down your pants, pressing the smooth silicone tip of your vibrator to your clit, tryingtryign to keep your moans and gasps silent. But now, you imagine him on the other side of the wall. His head next to yours. His body next to yours, only separated by a couple of inches of drywall. His hand wrapped around his throbbing, leaking cock, face lit up with blue light and a screen with a body that — that looks a lot like yours.
Collect yourself! You cry internally, squeezing your eyes shut, willing the sinful images of your friend and roommate out of your mind. Carefully, you try to calm your breath and reach out for the bookshelf to steady yourself and—
thump.
Three books clatter to the floor. Loudly.
Fuck, you think. Namjoon’s steps come to a stop. And then you hear them turn in your direction.
“Hello?” He calls again. “Is someone there? Can you stop playing this game? Can you stop running away from me?”
Namjoon’s feet fall heavily on the stairs as he climbs upwards. As soon as he gets to the top of the stairs he’ll see you. You think you can make it to the other side of the landing if you move quickly and quietly. So you take off, leaving the cover of the archway, but your feet have barely left the floor when a hand reaches out and wraps tightly around your wrist and tugs you backwards.
Spinning you into the hard frame of Namjoon’s embrace.
“Hi,” you squeak, not daring to look up at him, your face burning in embarrassment.
“Hello.” Chest to chest, the bass of his voice reverberates through you. “What are you doing?”
“Hm?” Feigning innocence, you finally glance up to him, his face broad and curious.
“Running in the library? Tossing books around?” He glances down at the three books toppled to the floor.
“What? Are you going to scold me like some stern librarian?” Namjoon cocks an eyebrow and now that you’ve said it, you wish you hadn’t. The thought of a stone faced librarian Namjoon punishing you for misbehaving has blood rushing to your face. And other locals. Imagine him bending you over one of the tables, tie gripped between your teeth, your ass swatted red from a spanking with a book — What. The. Fuck. It’s too much to think of at once. You distract. “Anyways, what were you doing?”
It’s Namjoon’s turn to flush hot with shock and embarrassment. “You—you—”
“I, uh, saw.”
His eyes shoot wide and he gapes at you.
“I was studying!” He lies, his eyes widening, as if their size will prove his sincerity. It’s then that he notices that he’s still got both of your wrists in a tight grip, holding you close to his chest. He drops your hands and hurriedly steps away to pick up the fallen books.
“It’s okay!” You’re quick to reassure. “But I did, um, you, uh, well.” Out with it. “You know. You said my name.”
He freezes. With all the care in the world, he puts a book back in its place and opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.
You laugh nervously, trying to cut through the tension that now hangs thick as wool between the two of you. “I mean it’s not a problem, we all have fantasies, right? It’s not like you want to fuck me.”
Namjoon drops the book that he’s holding in his hands and you both duck down to grab it, knocking heads.
“Fuck!”
“Ow!”
You and Namjoon topple over, landing squarely on your bums, rubbing the sore spots where your temples collided. With a weary hand, Namjoon reaches for you, helping you stand, brushing some dust off of your sweater and—
And he doesn’t let go. As the shock of the fall dissolves like salt in water between the two of you, silence settles in instead. A coherent, knowing silence. His eyes bore into yours as his hands clutch at the sleeves of your sweater.
The words still hang in the space between you: It’s not like you want to fuck me.
He takes one of those deep breaths, the kinds that hold all the tension in the world and clumsily says: “Is it a problem if I do?”
Your eyes lock. Whereas before it felt like you were dodging each other, you’re in the same lane now. Traveling down a road at breakneck speed.
Be honest. You force yourself through the barrier of truth. Easier to do when his eyes are shining bright and knowing down at you. “I mean…. No.”
“I totally understand if you don’t want to — you know, friendship — living arrangements—”
“It’s dumb—”
“It’s definitely dumb.”
“It’s really, definitely dumb.”
“It could ruin everything—”
“Well, I mean, it hasn’t ruined things with—”
You slap a hand over your mouth.
“With who?” He’s laughing. “Who the hell did you fuck? Hobi? Saw that coming a mile away.”
Your cheeks warm. “No. No, it’s nothing.”
He gives you a look. “Nothing?” But when you look down and don’t answer, he doesn’t push. He lets the silence settle. It’s enough of an answer for him to pack it away and leave you with some semblance of dignity. The two of you are still clinging to each other, your wrists held tightly between his hands, your fingers digging into the soft plush of his cable knit sweater. But you’re not holding on for support anymore.
“It’s dumb,” you repeat, but your voice has fallen to a whisper.
“So dumb,” Namjoon breathes. When did he get this near? His face is so close to yours, his breath brushing softly against your lips, tasting of spearmint and something cinnamon-y. “But we’ve done quite a bit of staying smart, haven’t we?”
“We have.”
“Isn’t it okay, you know, if we weren’t so smart for once?”
It feels like Namjoon is standing beside you in your own mind. You are both so different in so many ways, but on this one aspect, you always find companionship. Both of you constantly stand on the precipice of a “good” decision. You both wander aimlessly through the brambles of constant reckoning, comparing, evaluating in the name of being smart. But at the end of the day, it isn’t even about being smart. It is about knowing that if you are going to step off the edge of the cliff and into a decision, that there will be something — or someone — there to catch you at the end of your fall.
So maybe it is okay, knowing that Namjoon is right there beside you. That even if he’s not there waiting at the bottom, that he’s falling right beside you.
So you nod. “Maybe it’s okay to not know. Not to have to know.” The words hardly capture the feeling.
“Yeah,” Namjoon nods eagerly, a little smile creeping across his features. “Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, steps a little bit closer. The speed of your heart feels a little louder in his ears. “It doesn’t have to be smart.”
“Right.”
You’re repeating yourselves at this point. But it’s because it feels like there’s a second conversation, one that’s only happening in the proximity of one another. Glances flicked across collarbones, nervous fingers tracing hairlines, feet shuffled closer together. And then, as he does, Namjoon’s brain catches up to his actions.
“But with everything with Yoongi’s proposition, well, I just—” Namjoon tapers off, searching for the perfect word. And you nod, recalling the brashness of Yoongi’s words: We should fuck. Something like this doesn’t need to be so extraneously complicated. At this point, the conversation is basically a backing track in your mind. “What if it goes horribly wrong? What if something’s missing?”
“Missing?”
“Attraction. What if someone’s not attracted to someone.”
“Oh. Are you really worried about it?”
“Yeah.”
You pull him closer to you and he seems shocked. “Well then, I think we just have to trust that if someone doesn’t want us, want all of us, that they’ll speak up about it. Before we get into this mess.”
You can see how the logic clicks into place in his mind. How his eyes brighten, and he nods. And still, there’s resistance. It’s the same resistance you can feel in your own body, but looking at it through his eyes… Well, it’s different. It’s not so overwhelming that way. “But, you,” he finally says.
“Me?”
“What if something’s missing with you?” It’s a jumbled sentence of simple grammar and vague references, but you understand. Namjoon stands at the boundary lines of you. Desire burns like pine branches lit aflame behind his eyes, and still he’s holding back, afraid of what will happen when the carefully stoked flame is set free.
“Then try it out.” You’re not sure where the confidence came from, but you barrel forward anyways. “See if it’s missing?”
“What?”
“Kiss me.”
“Uh, no.” It’s the kind of reflexive response you hear from Namjoon when he’s reminding your friends of legislation or expectation: a rule, not a want.
You correct yourself: “You can kiss me—”
“I can?” The phrase brushes over you like a whisper, his question embodied by his whole being. You are both two bundles of hesitation, teetering on the cliff before you.
“I want you to kiss me.”
“Uh—Oh.” It’s like a door swings open in his mind. Like until that second he hadn’t considered — couldn’t consider — that you would want him. It takes a second for him to catch up, his mind swirling before you.
But you’ve had enough. Enough waiting. Thought catches up in silence. Becomes monstrous in silence. So before your mind can swirl in the opposite direction, you squeeze your eyes shut, and with the grace of an eighth grader fumbling for their first kiss, reach up on your tippy toes and press your lips to Namjoon’s.
The two of you stand there like that for a second, lips smashed together. Your eyes squeezed shut, Namjoon’s peeled wide in shock.
He pulls back. “Um.”
“Hold on,” you say, diving back in towards his lips and stopping just before they meet. A breath, then: he closes the distance.
Hesitation dances on his mouth. A thousand questions, unanswered, unvoiced — which you know for a fact, if you gave him enough time and space, he would spill eagerly into the silence. But you won’t. You don’t want to see them, the questions, the punctuation, the words, build up between you.
It starts slow this time, lips exploring lips. Both of you holding back, but in a way that invites a kind of soft gentleness into the space between you. You step closer. Press your chest to his. Bring your hand to his cheek. And light bubbles between you at the connection. Like sunlight, spilling through the topmost canopy of trees and glittering gold upon weathered features. As it builds, that golden light becomes a kind of unsung magic. The seasons, transforming beneath your watch.
It grows between you, so slowly and yet so undeniably. Like watching the leaves change from the window. Waking up one morning to the first frost of the season, the crispness alivening. His hands dance at your waist and he tastes sweet as he begins to explore your mouth, unhurriedly, but no longer hesitant.
You sigh into his mouth and he chuckles, pressing you closer, like he can’t get enough of you—
He takes a step forward, pressing your back to the bookshelves. Your hand shoots out to steady your balance and in your groping, a book falls off the shelf and to the floor. For the first time, neither of you flinch. Neither of you care.
And then you both get lost. Run off the well trodden path of the forest, into something tangled and full of brambles.  His thigh slips between your legs, presses against your core. You press back, and sparks light up in your abdomen. Your mouth against his is hungry, desperate, in a way you didn’t know it could be — and he answers it with equal hunger, nipping at your lips, tracing his tongue against the roof of your mouth. One of his arms loops under your shoulder, wraps around your back, tugs him to his body like he can’t bear the idea of a single molecule of space existing between the two of you. And then he grinds his thigh into your core.
“Oh,” you gasp.
He breathes your name against your lips before claiming your lips again and the sound of it echoes of earlier: his lip caught between his teeth, his hand tugging on his cock. But this is different. He has you. Has you here. Wrapped up in his arms, tightly bound to his body, just as you should be, he can’t help but think.
The thought shudders through him like a boulder and as quickly as the burning of autumn sun had shone between the two of you, he is purposefully dimming it, untwining himself from you, stepping back. You look on, confused.
“I’m so sorry.” He pulls away, his breath quickening, and runs a hand through his hair. He laughs, a little cruelty falling into the sound of it, and you know the harsh edge is meant for no one but him. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“For god's sake, Namjoon, “ you say, pushing your hair back into place, straightening your shirt. “Don’t you know what you do to me?”
He looks at you, confusion flitting across his face.
“It was, it was just—” He’s trying to make sense of it. Logic his way through whatever the hell it was that just happened between the two of you. And you want to unravel it all. Unravel the spinning thoughts in his mind. The broken damn of words and phrases and calculations you know are clouding his sight and so you step towards him, grabbing his hand.
“You don’t believe me.”
He doesn’t answer, but it’s clear enough.
“Will you let me show you?”
He nods and swallows hard.
Slowly, you guide his hand to your chest, pressing his palm to it. His fingers are stiff, but as you hold his hand there, they begin to relax.
“Don’t you feel how fast my heart is beating, just being this close to you? Nothing’s missing. Not on my part.”
Namjoon nods, but doesn’t take his gaze off of his hand. As you draw it down further, he sucks in a breath as it grazes over your breast.
“And this…” You watch his gaze, checking to make sure that everything is alright. But you have nothing to worry about. The hesitation that once dominated his expression begins to relax. Begins to become replaced by something else. Slowly, you bring his hand beneath the shirt. And then you let go.
“You can touch me, Joon.” He glances up at you. “I want you to. Nothing’s missing.” And as you say it to him, it’s like you’re saying it to yourself, too. With care, he lets his hand rest on your hip before dipping down into the apex of your thighs, beneath your pants. He slides one finger between your legs, sinking into your folds. His eyebrow twitches upwards when he finds you pantyless.
“I did this?” He sounds surprised.
You nod.
He captures your lips again and this time it’s not the warmth of late autumn you find on his skin. It’s the distinct crisp of winter. Stinging and clear and knowing. When he slips his hand out of your pants, he brings his fingers up to your lips, and pulls back far enough to whisper: “Taste.”
You open your mouth, and he slips his index and middle finger into your lips. You taste bitter and sweet and wanting. But before you can swallow, he presses his mouth to yours and drinks your essence off of your tongue, humming in a satisfaction you’ve never seen on him before.
It’s like his understanding of your desire has radicalized him.
Knowing he’s not alone in his want, he unleashes himself against you fully, if not a little clumsily. When he presses his thigh between yours again, he grinds it into you. Grins against your lips when you suck in a shaky breath. And you feel him shudder when you bring your hand down to the belt of his linen pants and trace a finger just around the opening.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
Kisses furious, skin heated, intention frozen into place — everything seems irrevocably true to the moment.
Someone calls out your name and it shatters the moment as easily as a thin layer of ice. The both of you freeze, Namjoon’s thigh still pressing into the apex of your thighs, your hand half down his pants, your lips swollen from his ministrations.
“Fuck,” Namjoon whispers and presses a finger to your mouth. “Shh, don’t let him see you.”
Your name echoes a second time off the walls of the library. It’s Jin. “Hobi is looking for you! Jungkook told me you were here!”
You groan, throwing your head back. “I’m here!”
“Okay, well hurry up! It seemed urgent! He’s in the backyard.”
You wait until you hear the library doors slam shut — why didn’t you hear them open in the first place? — before relaxing and sighing, disappointed, the moment shattered.
“Why don’t you stay for a little while?” Namjoon asks, and the unrestrained eagerness in his eye almost convinces you. But you have other things on your agenda. Other things to complete before you fuck 50% of your friends. The notion almost makes you laugh.
“I have to find Hobi. I promised..” Promised who? Him? Jungkook? Yourself. “I promised I’d talk to him by the end of the day. That’s why I came here, looking for him.”
Namjoon laughs, a full bodied, deep laugh. “Oh god. And look what you found instead. I-I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing! Really. It…” You try to find the words. “It’s not a bad, um, discovery.”
You glance down at your bodies, still pressed together. Namjoon seems to notice at the same moment you do and with a cough, steps back.
“I guess so.” He grins and the tension breaks. “At least, well, at least let me walk you?”
“Yeah,” you smile back.
He turns away and begins down the walkway, as if nothing that just happened existed. Determinately, you hurry to catch up and slip an arm through his. He looks down, blinks a couple times, and his cheeks start to redden.
“Tell me if you don’t like it,” you say.
“No, no, it’s not that,” he says quickly. “I like it.”
With a gentlemanly air, he insists on helping you down the stairs. Not that you mind. Especially when the intensity of the previous moment is still reeling through your head.
You wander through the library, side by side, and somehow the massive space seems smaller after everything that’s just taken place. The bookshelves taller. The ceiling darker. The rock walls, well, rockier. Older looking. You even have to squeeze single file through the stacks of bookcases at one point. It’s as if the room itself is trying to push you two closer together.
Namjoon points out various books here and there, noting which ones were worth the philosophical indulgence, which once were more pretty escapist fantasies, and which ones he even had on his bookshelf back home. Although, you suppose, isn’t this now his home? That thought sparks the question that’s been hovering on your lips since you arrived.
“Namjoon?”
“Yeah?”
“I gotta ask—” He turns towards you, eyes scanning your face.
“Anything. Ask anything.”
He says it so earnestly, gaze set so steady on your features that, despite the inconspicuous question you suddenly feel nervous and suck in a steadying breath before you speak:
“Where did the house come from?”
He blinks as if that’s not the question he expected.
“My aunt.”
“Your aunt’s house?”
“Yeah uh — she passed away. A year ago, actually. And left me this house. I guess it belonged to some lover from long ago that then gifted it to her.” He makes a flourishing movement. “And then on to me.”
“You’re telling me you were gifted a mansion in the middle of the mountains with this library and you decided to stay in our tiny ass, smelly ass apartment?”
He blinks at you, as if the answer is obvious.
“I mean, yeah.”
“What do you mean, ‘yeah?! You could have been up here all this time, frolicking in the mountains and living well and not crammed in a tiny little apartment with me!”
“Well, that was kind of the point wasn’t it?”
“What?”
“To be with you. I didn’t want to leave.”
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1kook · 20 days ago
namjoon + honeymoon <3
It was your stupid husband’s idea to go to a tropical rain forest, so obsessed with the idea of seeing real sloths and rare birds that he didn’t stop to think about the gazillion mosquitoes that would be there, too. “Ugh, this hurts,” you whine for what has to be the millionth time, scratching at the numerous bites littering your calves. You’re not even safe in your lodging, a tiny little rental house with an air-con system as old as your grandmother.
Namjoon’s just come out of the bath, white towel draped around his waist to make him look like a Greek god. Stray water droplets cling to his shoulders and chest, sparkle under the yellow lamplight as he rounds the foot of the bed. Miraculously, he’s come out of the rain forest unscathed. You’re extremely jealous, but you comfort yourself with the fact that maybe your kids will get his superior anti-mosquito blood in their genes too. “Salve,” he says, plopping down on the edge of the bed with a tiny green jar of something. “The locals said it would help.”
You scoff. “The locals said,” you mimic, but snatch it out of his hand nonetheless.
In truth, you’re actually having a lot of fun. After the numerous Bridezilla meltdowns you had over the course of your wedding planning, letting Namjoon plan the honeymoon was a blessing in disguise; not only did you have one less thing to worry about, but your wildlife-loving husband has the prettiest smile when he’s excited about toucans. “It’s what you get for not wearing bug repellant,” he teases now, discarding his towel as he crawls up the bed towards you. Oh.
Wrapping your hands around his shoulders, you barely manage one brush of your lips against his before he’s stripping you of your nightgown. “Not my fault I have the juiciest blood,” you frown, shivering when his slightly cold skin presses against yours.
Namjoon chuckles, a sound so low and deep, it goes straight to your pussy. “Yeah?” he hums, settling the weight of his body over you. He’s heavy as fuck, but being suffocated by your husband’s hot and heavy body isn’t the worst way to go out. His lips find their place against your cheek, two plush pillows that leave a faint kiss against your skin. “But now you’re covered in mosquitos bites.”
Pulling him closer, you shift your hips from side to side until his cock is nestled between your folds, angry tip kissing your clit. You shudder. “So?” you sigh, “you’ll cover them up for me anyway.”
Namjoon laughs, kissing the corner of your mouth. “That I will.” And he does, sucking and kissing along your skin as he goes. His lips traverse the length of your body, suckling against your tits until you’re whimpering and begging for him to stop. He only stops when both nipples are two, twin peaks, slick and shiny with his saliva. Then, between your thighs. He sucks a painful mark at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, doesn’t let go even when you dig your fingers into his scalp and tug him away. “Relax,” he says, suave, smooth, that stupidly hot bastard.
His pillowy lips kiss down the inside of each leg, tongue peeking out to swipe against your swollen bites. He doesn’t suck on those, knows that it’ll only exacerbate the itchiness, but it’s the thought that counts. He does, however, practically leave you covered in his saliva, licking every inch of skin he can get to. You’re left feeling sticky and wet, a sensation that soon fades into the background when he gets his mouth on your clit.
He nudges the bud back and forth, like you’re nothing more than a sweet for him to play with. Panting, you barely manage to plead your case for more, filling the air of the lodging with sniffles and sobs as Namjoon licks between your thighs. Eventually, it’s your trembling hand reaching for his — the one with the ring on it — that convinces him to help you out.
One finger dips into your achingly hot core, tongue swirling circles around your clit. You buck forward, against his mouth, as the pleasure begins to simmer in your center. Namjoon takes his time with you, does his best to draw out every droplet of ecstasy from you. He loves the sounds, the tiny jerks of your body, the way his name tumbles off your lips. “Joon,” you sob, “no more— please.”
Only then does he let you come, milking your cum out of you with a never-ending series of kitten licks against your clit. You quiver beneath him, body wracked with the aftershocks of such a pleasant orgasm. “Good girl,” he hums, kissing the soft skin of the inside of your thigh. “Always so good.”
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sugasbabiie · 18 days ago
Mafia! Namjoon as a quiet Dom who talks with touch more than words
pairing: mafia boss!kim namjoon x female reader | genre/aus: smut, established relationship, pwp/drabble | wc: 0.9k | rating: R | warnings: unprotected sex, creampies, bdsm themes, rough sex, controlled orgasm/orgasm denial, dirty talk, gagging, spanking, manhandling, light degradation, hair pulling
A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. Hope you're still around. This isn't edited; I was just in the mood to write this one.
"Meet me by my car in five. Do not have me waiting for you; you will regret it."
That's the only thing your boyfriend Namjoon said before slipping past the people in the crowd and exiting the nightclub. Now, you're stepping inside the mafia boss's secret penthouse, unprepared for what's to come.
As soon as you get your heels off, strong arms spin you around and pin you against the nearest wall. Namjoon uses his body to trap you there.
Unable to move, the only thing you can do is feel his hard cock pressing against your lower back. "I've told you too many times not to tease me when I'm trying to work. I may be the boss, but you know I handle my own shit during meetings." He murmurs against your ear, giving you chills.
He backs away to lift your dress, exposing your nearly naked ass. Namjoon tugs at your black-lace thong, making it snap against your skin upon release.
"I'm sor-"
Your right ass cheek is slapped harshly, a hissing noise feeling the room when you wince from the pain. It's replaced with a moan once the stinging ebbs away.
Namjoon grabs your hair and makes you turn your head slightly to look at him.
"I never told you to open that pretty little mouth, did I?" he inquires.
You shake your head, tears swelling in your eyes due to the stinging of your scalp. Namjoon's iron grip tightens when you don't give a verbal response.
"No, sir. You didn't." You nearly moan. The pain is all worth it once the pleasure and lust take over your body.
"Good, girl. Now, I'm going to fuck you like the whore you were trying to be out there on that dance floor, and I don't want to hear a peep until I tell you to make noise."
He lets go, then quickly removes your panties, sliding them down your legs and shoving them in your mouth once they are off. You hear him unbuckling his pants, and your thighs involuntarily rub together. The tip of his member then slides between your folds, using your juices to prep the both of you.
Your eyes roll back when you feel him begin to push in slowly. Despite being gagged, a small whimper still escapes, and your boyfriend slaps your ass again.
"I told you to shut up! Keep the same energy you had tonight; you're going to need it." He informs, sliding inside of you all at once.
Your legs tremble beneath you, and Namjoon uses his forearm to pin you against the wall again, keeping you in place, so he proceeds with fucking you senselessly.
"Your fucking problem is...you like seeing how far you can push it." He grunts, setting a fast pace. You have to adjust quickly because Namjoon is not fucking around tonight. "You love testing my patience, and that's a problem."
His hips snap violently into yours, and you can hear your lower body being slammed against the wall from the impact. Your nails dig into your palm, and saliva seeps past the thin fabric in your mouth. Namjoon's only been fucking you for three minutes, and you're already close to an orgasm.
Your walls begin to tighten around his dick, and he notices instantly.
"Nope. I don't think so, baby. Hold that shit; you already know the rules." He informs, still drilling into without an ounce of mercy.
You don't dare ask for any. Namjoon is an unforgiving lover; he'll make you suffer for begging too much. Your boyfriend's laid back but strict as hell. You're wild, but he keeps you in line...and well taken care of.
"Always wearing sexy shit, trying to distract me. Don't think because I don't say anything that I don't notice your little attention-seeking ass doing shit to get a reaction out of me. But I need you to remember...this is a game I will always win. Wanna know how?" he asks, thrusting into you harder than before.
You can barely hold it together as your orgasm threatens to take over you at any moment. Somehow you manage to respond by nodding your head, and your lover continues.
"Because I have nothing to prove; I control this cunt. It does whatever I say. Don't believe me? Watch this." He says, snaking an arm around you to rub your clit.
Namjoon's fingers make quick circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves and chuckles sinisterly.
"Come, slut." He commands, and you begin to fall apart in his arms.
White light fills your vision, and the make-shift gag is yanked out of your mouth. Whatever sounds you make are unheard; the only thing you can hear, see, or feel is pleasure, and it's all because of Namjoon.
The mafia boss's strokes begin to stutter as his own release approaches. Your body slumps once you've come, and you become nothing but puddy in your boyfriend's arm.
"Shit! Coming...!" he hisses sharply, and your head lolls back to look at him.
"I love you." You tell him, and hot seed shoots into your womb, painting your walls white.
He fucks himself through his orgasm until his cock falls out of you, and his come drips down your inner thighs. "I love you too." He whispers.
"Let me take you to bed, okay. Then I'll give you all the attention you want, sweetheart. I know I'm a busy man, but whenever I'm done handling business, I'm all yours."
However, Namjoon's words are unheard because you've already succumb to your body's fatigue, and fell into a heavy slumber.
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taesinferno · 2 months ago
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>> THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY WHORE : DILF!NAMJOON
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✦ SUMMARY you were supposed to be sleeping over at your boyfriend's house, but when you get up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, you find yourself in arms that are much bigger.
✦ PAIRING married dilf!namjoon × younger!reader
✦ WARNINGS 18+, infidelity, toxic relationships, age gap, unprotected penetrative sex, spanking, daddy kink
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You wanted to say you loved your boyfriend, you really did. You tried hard to look past his irritating habits; the way he would slurp when he ate, the constant phone addiction, the lack of attention he gave you. The way he screamed into his gamer headsets for hours with his friends, but when you tried to wrap your arms around him and offer sex for his attention, he'd push you away with a "not now," only agreeing if it was a blowjob, and he could continue playing.
Tonight, you were spending the night at his place. That is to say his parent's place. Even though he was loaded, and probably one of the only freshmen in college that could afford their own place, he was too lazy to get his ass up and actually go out and get something. The spoiled brat had everything in life handed to him, pampered and doted on into incompetence, courtesy of his mother. What need did he have to leave the giant family home when he had every single one of his needs met there?
"Gaeul," you prompted, nudging your lump of a boyfriend, earning only a grunt in response.
"What's the problem. I'm asleep," he mumbled, tugging the covers further over him and turning away, as if to cue a do-not-disturb sign.
"I'm thirsty," you whispered, nudging him again. "Can't you get me something to drink?"
"Just go down to the kitchen. You know how to work the water cooler."
You scoffed at how useless he was. Lying there, like a lump. Already snoring away. You crept out of the bed slowly, cold sensation of the floor touching your feet making you shiver as you hopped out.
You slowly downstairs, careful not to make any noise, extra cautious on the stairs. In your own home, you'd probably have had to watch out for a creaky floorboard here and there. That wasn't the case at the Kims, you quickly realized. Everything up to pristine shape. You attributed to the attentiveness of the patriarch of the house, Mr. Kim Namjoon.
Despite your boyfriend's beliefs, his house was not at all easy to navigate, and you had been here only a handful of times. Which led you to fumble around until you were stood right in front of the only light on in the house.
"Yn? What are you doing up?" Kim Namjoon took off his reading glasses, shuffling papers around on his desk.
"I—," you stutter, drawing a blank after seeing him look at you like that. More than your boyfriend, his father always amazed you. Not at all arrogant or spoiled, like his wife or son. He was raised humbly, and pulled himself up by his bootstraps. Wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth and an automatic gold path everywhere he walked. He was a self-made businessman, one of the richest. And he did it all on his own. You couldn't help but compare his son to his father, think about how far the apple had fallen from the tree.
Not to mention how sinfully hot he was. You still remember the first time you were introduced to him, once his mousy wife had moved out of the way. Big hand outstretched and a soft grin on his face as he welcomed you into their home. Glasses perched on his face making him look his age. But you could still make out a ripple of muscles underneath his prim business suit, muscles straining the fabric, threads barely holding it together. You were barely holding it together at the sight of him every time you saw him again, stumbling over your words and avoiding his piercing gaze.
But you saw the way he looked at you. You felt the tension, the magnetic pull to him. The secret glances he would steal when he thought no one noticed. He was a man after all, and he appreciated a nice ass no matter what. Even if you happened to be his son's girlfriend.
"Just getting water, Mr. Kim. Sorry to interrupt," you squeaked, jumping up to back out of the room.
"Just a minute, yn—," he flashed you that beautiful smile.
And next thing you knew, you were bent over his desk as he rammed his cock into your pussy ruthlessly. He never did anything just halfway, you could feel that notion in your guts. This is it, exactly what you wanted.
"Bending over for daddy," he cooed, landing a harsh slap to your ass, "Making daddy feel so good with this tight pussy. Such a sweet girl."
All you could do was whimper and slobber all over his desk, crying out when he pushed you down further. "Shh," he slapped his palm over your mouth, "You don't want Gaeul hearing you fuck his old man, do you?"
"Please," your voice was muffled as you pushed back onto him desperately, trying to stimulate your orgasm. "Please, Mr. Kim. I haven't cum in so long."
His hand wrapped around your body, finding the sensitive bud with his large hand. You never knew someone so externally gentle could have such rough hands. "Little prick not takin' care of you right?" He tilted your head to look at him, his heart softening with the pouty eyes you gave him as you pitifully shook your head no.
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"Don't worry," the desk was starting to shake from the impact of his pace, tears welling as he bounced you on his cock. "Daddy's gotcha."
♡ next
✦ want more dilf content? click here!
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Copyright © 2021, taesinferno | tumblr | no reposts, translations, copies, etc.
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yoongsisbae · 4 days ago
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Bon Voyage: Into the Sea - Chapter 3
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BTS fantasy AU. OT7 x reader. werewolf!Namjoon x werewolf!Hoseok x werewolf!Jungkook x siren!Yoongi x vampire!Jimin x vampire!Jin x whatis?Taehyung. This is the "vampire chapter" :'D
Thank you for all the love on this random nightmarish story lol. This extra update is for all the readers who made it my most popular post! Thank you! <3 Also this is my contribution to the start of the spooky season :D
Warnings: Hi, remember when I said this was horror? This chapter in particular is pretty horrific, you have been warned! blood, fighting between m/w, blood, graphic violence, blood, imprisonment, blood, blood, blood, minor character death, vampires doing vampire things including noncon blood drinking, human imprisonment, mind manipulation, stockholm syndrome, dubious consent, slut shaming, anal, degradation, foursome, orgasm control, orgasm denial, what a ride, you must be over 18 to ride this ride, scary scary scary
Word Count: 22k
---
“Scared, y/n?” Jimin’s face sends you a wicked smile.
You look back and forth between the men, uttering an unconvincing “No.”
Seokjin speaks again, “You should be.”
---
‘So did you get the answers you are looking for?’ You sit up, jolted out of your sleep, Hoseok’s words echoed softly in your mind.
Seokjin moved so fast, his striking face in front of you in an instant, his red eyes centimeters from yours, delicate lips curving into a smile over his fangs as water splayed around where he stood. That was the last thing you remember.
He smiled down at you sweetly and held you by the neck, putting pressure on your vein until you passed out. It all happened so fast your scream remained halted until this moment. The response came out of you abruptly, as fleeting as the memory.
And now where the hell were you? It looked like the room of an old bed and breakfast; large bed, writing desk, love seat, high windows; but to your captors the breakfast on the menu was you.
The first thing you notice is how the curtains are drawn together blocking the sunlight, but you know it’s there, just out of reach, as evidenced by the small line of light that trails its top edge. The room you found yourself in was dark, from the wallpaper to the furniture, the stillness unsettling, you listened as your own rapid breathing filled the silence.
You were seated right in the middle of a king size bed. They left you atop the cleanly-made white bed sheets, a treat placed in the center of a platter. You shiver, your clothes still remained damp from the night before, cold and stuck to your skin. That is why you shiver, you tell yourself, because you don’t hear them, but you feel them...watching you...
You build up enough courage to scan the room, and that’s when you see two pairs of red orbs staring back at you from the corners’ shadows, glowing in the darkness. Eyes of beasts, watching you, studying you.
You try not to react, not show your captors how scared you are, but every mechanism in your body betrays you, and the pair immediately pick up on your rapidly beating heart, the sweat on your brows, your unsteady breathing-
“Good morning, y/n,” Seokjin says, walking out of the shadows. Jimin stays hidden, but you can hear his soft laughter.
Those answers you wanted, where are they?
Seokjin slowly moves to the edge of the bed. “It seems like our friends have taken quite an interest with you and I want to find out why. Is that okay?”
You purse your lips, keeping your eyes trained on the thin strip of light showing at the top of the window curtains. You sit in silence. Has your breathing always been this loud? The shaking of Seokjin’s legs, a sign of his growing impatience, rattles the bed and your resolve.
He clasps his hands together, finally saying “If you don’t want to speak to me,” he leans in slightly and whispers the rest, “I can always let Jimin pry information out of you, but I don’t think you’d appreciate that very much.”
The pounding of your heart and the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach makes you feel like you’re going to become sick at any minute, but you manage to form a coherent sentence to ask him, “What do you want to know?”
“First, I want your permission to find out,” he speaks softly, placing a gentle hand on your calf, but you flinch away anyways. That’s a loaded question if you ever heard one. You wonder if it’s all an act, the same way Jimin fooled you. You stay silent.
Seokjin sighs again, looking over his shoulder, “Jimin?”
“No!” you yell. “Not Jimin! You...you, okay I give you permission.”
“Thank you, y/n.” He smiles, “I’ll be gentle.”
You yelp. Seokjin’s cold hand travels down your leg, wraps around your ankle and pulls you down the bed closer to his body, and in an instant his lean frame is hovering over yours. This close, his beauty is intimidating alone, but his eyes feel like they are piercing through you, digging inside, seeing all the ugly secrets you try to hide from even yourself, you feel like you could catch fire the way his gaze burns you.
He holds you down loosely by the neck, fingers searching for a pulsing vein, eyes focused on you with the concentration of a doctor performing surgery. Seokjin wipes away the tears that begin spilling from your eyes and smirks, “Don’t cry Dove, I promise this time will be the least pain you’ll experience from now on.” His words are devoid of any real sympathy, a false comfort, a looming warning.
You consider fighting back, but in this position there is no way you would be able to reach for your dagger (hidden away in a secret pocket in the front of your corset) without Seokjin stopping you, and even if you were lucky enough, there’s still Jimin, waiting in the shadows.
So you choose to wait, and try to find comfort in Seokjin’s twisted words. It could be worse. A tiny voice inside you reminds you it will become worse. You’ll just have to escape before then. You take a deep steadying breath, preparing yourself.
Don’t cry.
Seokjin’s lips latch onto your neck, soft and full as he rolls his tongue harshly over your pulse point. Goosebumps bloom across your body, and you try to focus on the sunlight rather than the vampire above you and his overwhelming aura, that sliver of light that you pray won’t dim.
This could be worse. This could be more painful. This could be Jimin.
Seokjin can feel the jumping of your pulse against his tongue. The vampire wants to know your story, what is it about you that riled Jimin up more than he’s ever seen him. But with your sweet scent enveloping him and the cocktail of emotions Seokjin’s keen senses could smell: fear and anger and mounting arousal, you smelled better to him than the finest wine and he can’t stop himself from teasing you a little longer, drink it in just a bit more and savor the moment.
Seokjin still understood the importance of ‘living’ in the present, he enjoyed taking his time with things. Others would have gone mad by now with the infinite amount of time, but not Seokjin, he used it to his advantage. Your warm body, your addicting smell, the softness and saltiness of your skin, the shifts in your breathing, Seokjin took his time to savor the gifts of life that he still missed.
You try not to react to his sensual touches, tensing your body under him, until you feel two sharp pricks on the surface of your skin. Your reaction is involuntary, you grip the bedsheets with your fists and let out a soft cry, moving against him. His bite hurt for only a second, like a pin prick, but Seokjin in his precision had nicked an artery for optimum bloodshed. With each gasp of breath you take, with each pounding beat of your heart, you feel your blood drain as it escapes the punctures in your neck and into Seokjin’s waiting mouth.
Seokjin groans against your skin, sending fire through your veins, pressing himself harder into your body. The vampire is better at keeping his physical responses to blood drinking at bay than Jimin, but he hasn’t had a new taste in awhile, and you’re so responsive.
When he pulls away from you you reach to cover your neck and stop the blood, a reflex in an attempt to save your own life, but Seokjin grabs your wrists before you can, pinning you to the bed, studying, his red gaze challenging you.
You gasp as the blood rushes out down your neck, over the sheets, seeping into your clothes. ‘They’ll underestimate you...’ Yoongi’s words replay in your mind and you stay still. No matter how much you want to fight back, this time you have to be smarter, you have to believe in Yoongi’s words.
Jimin has stayed quiet for this long, staying in the shadows, but your whimpers and grunts of pain are music to Jimin’s ears, the blood pouring from your body like an offering to him. His groans can be heard from the shadows.
He holds himself back for now, waiting for his turn. Jimin wonders where all that fight went, he had expected a show, for you to thrash away from the older vampire like you did the merman. He can’t help but feel a little disappointed. When it’s his turn, he thinks, you’ll become more entertaining then.
You watched in silence as Seokjin licked his lips clean of your blood. The red liquid that he had stolen from you, that was now steadily seeping from your wound and covering the white bedsheets underneath you, like a Rorschach picture mapping your life. “You’re strong,” he grins, speaking too tenderly for the brutality he was inflicting. “Stop fighting and it will end sooner, y/n. Let me into your mind.”
What does that even mean?! In your blood loss the tips of your fingers begin to feel cold like your captor’s, your head pounds and your vision blurs with each passing moment as the blood drains from your artery, you don’t want to give in, but if it will end this torture...
You shut your eyes tightly, and turn your head to expose your bleeding neck further to the monster above you. When Seokjin lowers his lips to your neck, you try to think of sweet Jungkook instead, his warm body instead of Seokjin’s cold one. You didn’t dare wish to be with him again, you didn’t dare think you made a mistake, that you should have stayed. Now all you can do is hope you can save him and yourself from this horrible island. Jungkook doesn’t deserve to be imprisoned with the likes of them.
Seokjin drinks the warm liquid pouring from your throat. You listen to him gulping down your blood, How much longer, until he finds what he’s looking for? You feel your fight escape you with each swallow, you feel yourself slipping away. It reminds you of drowning, it reminds you of Yoongi and how he kissed life into you instead, but this was the kiss of death.
‘Yoongi,’ you close your eyes and think of him. And then you felt it, the pull inside your mind. Your current circumstance falls away in shambles, your memories are pulled out of you through the cracks, the images race through your mind as Seokjin bears witness to it all.
---
Yoongi sits at the table, hair and clothes dry, turning his head to see you awake.
The relief that softens his features as he’s walking to your side.
The delicate way he places the hairpiece back in its place.
The way his eyes melt at your words.
Why hadn’t you seen it before? Seokjin saw it all. The way Yoongi screams at you, the rage and embarrassment in his eyes as he tells you how much he can’t stand you, the way he licks his lips when you yell back. His eyes studying you when you yank him closer, full of anger and full of-
You weakly push against Seokjin, you don’t want to remember, you don’t want to miss him. You can’t stop it, you can’t stop the memories flooding through your system.
You suddenly remember Jungkook’s sparkling round eyes watching you, wanting you, the crinkle of his nose when he laughs, the pink flush on the edges of his ears when you talk to him, the muscles of his arms flexing as he cages you under him, his deep groaning in your ear, the vein in his neck when he pushes into your wet heat, the truth in his voice when he says he’ll protect you.
You feel Seokjin’s hands travel down your body the same way you remembered Jungkook. You curse him in your mind, but your body couldn’t tell the difference, your stomach tightens and you’re no longer cold, warmth spreads over you to the tips of your toes.
You want to scream, scream for Jungkook, but you’re frozen, lost in your own thoughts, confused by your senses. Jungkook feels as real as Seokjin, but you know he’s not really there, no matter how much you wanted it to be true.
You remember Hoseok’s harsh looks, the growing anger in his eyes, the hurt in his eyes, the pain in his eyes, the pain still present in his eyes even in his wolf form when he howls and cries at you. He’s begging you to stay, he’s telling you he can’t bear to lose someone again. How could you leave them? Why can’t they be enough for you? Hoseok will treat you better, if you just stay with him, please. You understand his barks and howls now, because Seokjin understands. Tears well up in your eyes and you try to move away, but Seokjin is too solid, too powerful, and unyielding in his search.
Namjoon’s eyes are on you as you eat next to his brothers at dinner, filled with nothing but warmth and happiness. Those brown eyes, you miss them. You feel dizzy and helpless, you can’t take it anymore. You grab a fistful of Seokjin’s hair to try to pull him off of you.
“What have you done to Jimin? What have you done?!” Namjoon’s voice roars in your memory. But it’s not any memory you remember having. Before you realize what you are doing, your hands hold on tightly to Seokjin’s hair, pulling him closer and holding him to you so you can see more.
---
“It-It wasn’t me...” The tall vampire is covered in blood. Some of it is Jimin’s blood, yes, but the majority of blood that drips down his face and hands, that covers his clothes, belongs to five other men. Dead men. Men who beat the broken man in his arms to the brink of death.
Seokjin found his dear friend screaming in pain. He saw them over Jimin’s bleeding body, blood Seokjin treasured just as much as he treasured his bond with the compassionate and playful man. His friend, Jimin, who wailed for Seokin, for Namjoon, for Hoseok, for Taehyung, for anyone to help him, while his bones cracked, lying in the dirt, choking on his own blood, precious blood.
Seokjin explained to Namjoon when he saw them laughing, like hyenas over a carcass, spitting hateful slurs down at Jimin, he couldn’t control himself. Seokjin tore them apart one by one. He chased each one down like the pathetic animals they were, and tore the limbs that touched his dear friend straight from their bodies.
Seokjin had been weak, he had become too accustomed to the harmonious life he and Namjoon had created for themselves. Had it been decades before, he would have endured, but living with the pack had softened him too much and he couldn’t stand the pain of losing Jimin, so when he found a weak pulse he gave Jimin as much of his venomous blood as he could.
Namjoon simply nods at the information, his weary eyes examining his two friends, friends who were like family to him. He didn’t want to lose Jimin either. “We need to take him somewhere safe...to the island, before he wakes up,” Namjoon places a hand on the trembling vampire’s shoulder.
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” the vampire’s voice shakes, he notices the cuts on Jimin’s face and body have yet to heal themselves.
“That’s not something you should be worried about,” Namjoon runs his hand through Jimin’s tangled hair, gently placing the dark strands back into place, his eyes filling with tears, “it’s when he wakes up, we need to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Seokjin nods weakly.
“Go now. I’ll clean up the mess, brother.”
Your hands fall, the blood loss making you too weak to grip onto Seokjin’s hair. Seokjin had taken more blood than he intended, lost in his own memories.
The vampire pulls away from you, even as the edges of your vision blurs, you see his eyes, glowing red and glassy with unshed tears, staring at you with a mixture of pain and surprise. He shakes away his bewilderment and rips into the flesh of his wrist, placing the cut across your lips as you can no longer hold consciousness.
---
When you wake again it’s night time, the light behind the curtains has left you.
Your body aches. You run your fingers along your neck, searching for the punctures, and you can only feel smooth skin crusted in dried blood. Your head feels like it’s splitting. You groan in pain.
You see Jimin before you hear him, and even then you’re not sure if your brain created the sounds to ease your mind as he stalks closer to your waking form.
“Finally! Now what could you have possibly done to Jin?” Jimin says, contemplating the reason his friend holed himself up in his office, refusing to speak to Jimin or even look at him.
He jumps on the bed, shaking your already pounding head. “He refuses to let me bite you,” he whines, “Explain now, pet.” Jimin prods you with his foot. “Explain what memory of yours Seokjin pulled.”
You just groan back, turning away from Jimin, burying your head into the cold pillows of your bed, one of the few things not soaked in your blood. Everything is so cold you can’t stand it. Jimin places a hand on your shoulder to make you face him. Cold fingers touch your skin, everything is cold.
“Don’t touch me!” you pull away from him, yelling.
Your face stings. Jimin had slapped you hard, you come to the realization only after the fact, the skin he touched burns hot. It makes you laugh, because you wanted warmth, didn’t you?
Jimin’s eyes narrow on you, “Say that again, I dare you.”
You bite back tears and ask, “What the fuck happened to you?!”
“So you’re back to being a disrespectful brat. You’re not on the same level as me, human. Learn to behave.”
“No! What happened to you to make you so heartless? What changed you?” How did the bleeding man you saw Namjoon cry over in Seokjin’s memories become this monster? He was human at one point too, you wouldn’t have believed it if you didn’t see it for yourself.
Jimin rolls his eyes, “Don’t act like you know anything about me, bitch.”
You take a deep breath trying to calm your temper. Not only had you seen Seokjin’s memories, you had felt his emotions. His pain lingers in you still, beside the fear and hatred you feel, you look at Jimin and feel...sorry for him. You have to look down, the emotions are too much and too overwhelming. It was easier when all you knew was the monster before you. Jimin takes your silence as obedience instead.
“Now can you be a good little pet and answer my question,” he says, tapping you on the head hard enough to make your headache roar back to life. You flinch and search the eyes of the man before you. Or rather the shell of a man, you think bitterly.
And what a beautiful shell it is. Jimin is stunning, bright white hair pulled away and styled so you can see the delicate features of his face. He holds himself gracefully, like a dancer, his elegant figure hiding his true strength. You wonder what he was like before turning into a monster, what kind of man was he? Someone whom Namjoon cared for.
“It wasn’t my memory...you. I saw you…” You whisper, knowing Jimin’s sharp senses can hear you loud and clear, “I saw Seokjin turn you.” Silence falls over the room again, a silence so deafening you start to hear the pounding in your head becoming louder.
The vampire stares at you, soft features stoic. He looked lost in thought, you pictured his face full of cuts, bloody lip, black eye, human, and Seokjin so unsure, scared, worried, trembling, so unlike themselves now.
“How did he turn me?” It surprised you how genuine Jimin’s question sounded. Did he really not know?
You keep your mouth shut, you don’t think it would be wise on your part to tell him. Jimin seems like the type to shoot the messenger. Unfortunately, unlike Seokjin, Jimin had little to no patience. His expression changes like lightning, full of anger. He pulls you by the hair dragging you off the bed and onto the floor.
The vampire crouches over you and grabs your face, holding you down to the wood floor, pressing his sharp nails into the skin of your cheeks making you yell.
“Ahh there’s your voice! Tell me.”
“Why don’t you ask Seokjin?!”
“But I rather you just do as I say,” he says playfully, as his fingers dig harder into your skin, cutting the flesh and drawing blood.
“Why don’t you just bite me, then?!” You spit the words out through clenched teeth.
You watch the vampire lick his lower bottom lip, thinking it over briefly as he pulls your face closer to his, you struggle against his painful grip. “How impetuous...” he watches you squirm like an insect stuck in glue. “You’re rather dumb, aren’t you?”
Should you reach for your dagger now? Should you try to kill Jimin?
Every time you thought about hurting him, you remembered Seokjin’s crying face, and you wanted to cry as well, what was happening to you?
“Jimin, leave us.” Jin stands in the doorway to your room.
Jimin stands up in a huff, letting you go. You fall back onto the hardwood floor. He balances on his heels, ignoring you and scrutinizing Seokjin. He wanted to question the older vampire, he has so many questions now, but decides against it. What does it matter anyways? The idea of being a weak and powerless human revolts him. “I’m getting impatient,” he says before he leaves, slamming the door and making you jump.
“T-thank y-you.” You try to calm your breathing.
Seokjin looks at you with a frown, extending his hand out to you. You hesitate and place your hand in his and he easily lifts you to your feet. You watch the older vampire walk slowly around the room, drawing his fingers along the furniture he passes. You stand awkwardly, you don’t think making a run for it would gain you any favors right now.
“I’m hungry,” Seokjin says. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it, continuing to meander around the room, waiting for your response.
You clench your jaw. So this is what you’ve been reduced to, you think, a late night snack. “Are you going to just keep me trapped in this room? I’m hungry too, I haven’t eaten anything-”
“Dinner's already passed. Before I let you go roaming around, I need to make sure you’re going to behave yourself, do you understand?”
No, you don’t understand at all. It sounds like he’s going to starve you into subservience, and you have to get out of this room, you have to find the portal.
“I will do as you say...please...” you walk over to where he’s standing, trying your best to seem meek. “I’m starving,” you reason, “I’m sure you know how it feels to hunger for something” you say, turning your head to stare at the windows, curtains now open to the night sky, extending your neck to the vampire. His eyes are pulled to your attention, following the lines of your shoulder. You roll your neck, loosening the stiff muscles, moving close enough to him that your chest bumps into his. You look up into Seokjin’s eyes through your lashes, “I-I will behave.”
Seokjin smiles, bringing his head down into the curve of your neck, lips skirting across the skin. Your fingers reach up to caress the back of his head. You can see the pair of you in the bedroom mirror. Another myth proven wrong, you think, as you study your seduction, how his lean frame bends closer to yours, his arms wrapping around the lower part of your back.
In truth, Seokjin wasn’t hungry. He had taken more than enough blood from you this morning already, but Seokjin wanted to see if lightning could strike twice. Never had the pull been so strong for him that a human had been able to enter his memories, not even when Jimin was alive. He needed to learn more.
Seokjin licks your face, tongue tracing the cuts Jimin’s nails left behind. You hold your breath, trying to act like you enjoyed it. You hated it, you wished you could stick Yoongi’s dagger into Seokjin’s cold dead heart and be done with it already.
Seokjin trails kisses back to the place he bit you before. He keeps kissing your sensitive skin until his lips reach your ear and he whispers, “I’m not Jungkook, little Dove, you’ll have to do better than that.”
You stumble backwards but it’s too late, Seokjin already has you in his clutches.
He pulls you into a tight embrace, walking you backward even more. His bite is precise, you suspect perfectly precise to where he bit you this morning. Your arms are locked tightly in between your bodies as he holds you to him.
Thunder roars in your memory, you feel yourself drowning. Your muscles ached, your lungs burned. You feel Yoongi’s hand on your ankle, pulling down, hand on your waist, pulling down, hand on your neck, pulling you closer, his lips on your lips-
You cry and yell against Seokjin’s grasp. Cold turns to warmth as you see Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok laughing around the firepit, and Seokjin, and Jimin, laughing too. Yoongi sits with a calm expression on his face, his lips curved upward, and a man you don’t recognize sits next to him-
Seokjin yanks his mouth away from you and you fall backward, back hitting the bed while you struggle to breath. You cover the holes on your neck with your palm to stop the rushing blood.
“How?” is all Seokjin can say, shaken by the happy memory that even he had forgotten about.
You stare up at the high ceiling dazed and too weak to move, “Do I...” you can feel the blood spill between the gaps of your fingers, “look...” you gasp, “like a vampire expert...to you?”
Seokjin moves to the window, his back to you. He watches the waning moon and lets his mind wander to his old friends. If they were off the island, he could see a scenario where you and he would meet at a bar, laugh over drinks, but the ending would always be the same. “You look,” he looks over his shoulder at you, “like you could use a drink,” his lips curving into a half smile.
“Are you,” you gasp, “offering?”
He walks over to you slowly, bringing his wrist to his mouth, and then extends the sliced skin to your mouth, waiting expectantly.
You take his offering bitterly, gulping down the metallic liquid, the wounds burn like fire as they heal over. The pain is nothing like you’ve ever experienced before. You shut your eyes tightly, you want to cry, or scream, but like Namjoon said, no one can help you here. You feel fingers intertwine with your bloody fingers, pulling your bloodied hand away as you weakly protest. The room spins, even if your wounds are healed, your blood is still gone and you’re feeling the effects of two feedings.
Seokjin brings your hand to his lips and licks away the blood, tongue circling your fingers. “This can hurt or it can feel good,” he says slowly.
You laugh, delirious from hunger and blood loss. “I wonder, that memory,” you gasp, still laughing, “does it bother you to be reminded of your humanity? Does it hurt you?”
You probably shouldn’t have said that, but the blood loss is doing funny things to you, or maybe you just really wanted to get a reaction from the guarded man, no, guarded vampire.
If your accusation angered Seokjin he didn’t show it with any emotion, instead he sighed and bent over you, biting down hard on your shoulder. The searing pain makes you scream. You cry out, not expecting the sharp and throbbing kind of ache from his bite as Seokjin’s teeth stayed deep in your flesh.
Seokjin pulls another memory out of you, and you curse your luck in remembering Jungkook again, remembering his tanned and muscled body next to yours. Jungkook kissing your knuckles and telling you how he’s yours now. Jungkook kissing down your body. His head between your legs, his mouth feverishly licking at your folds. The more you try not to think about him the stronger the memories feel. The pain in your shoulder dulls as your legs tighten around the vampire's sides.
Perhaps it was your bloodloss mixed with Seokjin’s bloodlust seeping into your consciousness, the memory of Jungkook’s length buried deep inside you and feeling of Seokjin’s growing bulge pressed against your stomach makes your head spin and you just want to feel more. You hear Namjoon’s deep authoritative voice whispering dirty things in your ear, it makes you shudder, a moan escapes your throat-
Seokjin pulls away from you abruptly at that, his eyes are deep red, so dark they look black. He watches as your body twitch in pain, as he focuses on calming the storm of human emotions, your emotions, running through him, as he tries to forget the compromising memory of his old friend. He bites down on his bottom lip until he draws blood, his blood mixing with your own blood in his mouth, and he presses his lips on yours.
You realized how passionate Yoongi’s kisses were compared to Seokjin’s. The merman was distant, but his actions were full of feeling, whether they be good or bad. Seokjin was cold in body and mind, a hard shell, you felt like you were kissing a statue as you choked on his blood, the liquid metallic and sweet.
You can feel the punctures in your skin closing, it hurts so much worse than when he bit you, you distract yourself by licking into his mouth, feeling his tongue against yours.
Seokjin jumps off of you the second your wounds are healed and leaves without saying a word. You can hear the door lock in your daze.
You scoff, what was up with him, you wonder, dining and dashing like that. The blood loss has you quickly falling asleep despite wanting to use the time alone to plan your escape.
---
They both leave you alone all day until night again. You wake up hungry and weak. When Seokjin wordlessly stalks towards you that night you tell him so.
“I still can’t trust you to play well with others.”
“I need food! I need to eat! I am not a goddamn vampire like you! I can’t survive off your blood!” You throw your pillow at him. Should you have done that? Probably not, but you’re too hungry to care.
Seokjin pauses, looks at the floor where the pillow lays at his feet after coming in contact with his chest. “I’ll bring you food later tonight, now lie down, I’m hungry too.”
Ugh.
---
There were so very little things now that intrigued Seokjin, and this connection had become a mystery he wanted to solve. The strength of his pull on you was so intense it had become almost addicting to feel for Seokjin.
A vampire's pull had always been one-sided, but this pull acted like a wave, crashing onto the shore of your consciousness, pulling back and forth, dragging his memories along the current too.
Promised food, you comply, lying down against your better judgement. You glare at him as he lies next to you, and he smooths your furrowed features with his fingers instead of matching your anger. It makes you feel self conscious, the way he watches you with searching eyes. “Well? What are you waiting for?”
“So demanding, do you want me to bite you that badly?”
Is he teasing you? “No. I don’t. At all!”
“Okay then.” he lies back down, his arms underneath his head.
You sit up to look down at him. “Is this a joke?”
“I’ll wait, I don’t mind. I can wait for days, the question is can you?”
If you tried to stab him now he would definitely be able to stop you. Too bad. “I think I can’t stand you.”
“You barely know me!”
“I’ve seen enough,” you scoff.
“I’ve lived a long time,” Seokjin says, serious again, “you don’t care to see more? Who I really am?”
“Who are you?”
“Let me bite you and find out,” he winks.
'Well, he seems to be in a better mood,' you think. You wonder why he is even bothering to ask you, you’re his prisoner, after all. “So this is not just about feeding anymore?”
“I’m a vampire, of course it is.”
You sigh, you’re hungry and tired from blood loss. “Okay, bite me, but choose some place else,” you rub the sensitive spot on your neck and shiver. “NOT THERE!”
Seokjin stops pushing your legs open. “But there is an artery in your leg-”
Your face goes hot, you shove your wrist in his face. “Here then!” He sighs and lies back down again, pulling you over his body easily. You sit awkwardly against his lap as you watch his fangs prick your inner wrist. The blood loss this time wasn’t so bad, but it still made your weak body sway, your free hand bracing yourself against his chest.
He does the same thing to you again, pulls memories of your life. You saw memories from before the boat wreck to your childhood, and you saw glimpses of Seokjin’s life as well. You learned at one point in his very long life he stopped being a complete monster and became a part time bartender.
For decades he moved from taverns, to pubs, to bars. The perfect career, and as his beautiful looks were admired everywhere he went, he was never short of meal options. You woke in the morning and you laid on clean sheets, there was water for you and bread and butter and jam, an apricot and an apple, food not found on an island. The portal.
Tonight. This night you will be ready for Seokjin. You quickly realized you weren’t just remembering with Seokjin, you were feeling, and he was feeling too. If you could distract him well enough with a memory, you think you’d be able to escape!
---
Tonight Jimin walks into your room instead.
“Where’s Seokjin?”
“You didn’t miss me?” He holds a pear in his hand, throwing it up in the air and catching it easily. “He is busy, the others were feeling neglected by him-”
“There are others? Other humans?!”
Jimin smirks at your wide eyes. “Yes, pet, did you think you were special?” You swallow, keeping your questions to yourself. So Seokjin really meant it when he talked about playing well with others. Who were they and how long have they been here? Could some of them be your friends? Maybe you weren’t the only survivor on your boat! More humans, more people to help you fight against Seokjin and Jimin, if you could just meet them and somehow convince them...
Jimin heard your accelerating heartbeat, could see the happiness dance across your features. “What ever you are thinking, I suggest against it. Actually, go ahead and try, I haven’t punished anyone in so long.”
“Are you going to bite me or not?”
“Oh, so now you’re eager for it, it’s always the same.”
“Still not allowed, huh? Must suck to be you. Ha! Get it?”
“Do you think you’re being cute? Jin said I can’t bite you, he didn’t say anything about not hurting you.” Jimin throws the pear in the air again, “What? No clever retort?”
“I don’t know about Seokjin,” you speak softly, “but you used to be human, why do you act like this?” You watch as Jimin drops the pear on the ground and steps on the fruit with his feet. You bite your lip. What a waste. You consider pulling out your dagger just for that.
“Being human?” Jimin runs a hand through his hair, “I don’t remember anything about that. I can’t imagine being so weak and foolish.”
“You really don’t remember?” You look at the pear, squished into a pulp. “Can you do what Seokjin does, with the memories?”
“What makes you think I want to learn about your pathetic life?”
“No,” You idiot. You sigh. “But maybe you want to learn about your pathetic life?”
You scream, Jimin’s nails were digging into your skull, a handful of your hair in his fists. “Call me pathetic again,” he threatens lowly.
“Pathetic,” you say bearing your teeth. Jimin smiles, because in that moment you reminded him of someone. He’s going to enjoy breaking the bones of your body and watching your limbs reassemble again. He grabs your forearm, pulling your arm closer to your face. You wince as his grip tightens, struggling against his tight hold on your hair. “Call me pathetic again,” he sings, his eyes sparkling with delight.
You weigh your options in that moment.
“Seokjin!” you scream.
Jimin laughs, tightening his grip even more so you are sure to have bruises, “Do you think he really cares about what happens to you?”
“Jimin was a regular at your bar! Wasn’t he?!” You had seen the younger vampire, only briefly, you barely recognized him with dark hair, but you knew it was Jimin the way you felt your own heart soar when Seokjin glanced at him for the first time.
You screamed louder than you’ve ever heard yourself, making the vampire wince at your volume, because in that moment Jimin snapped the bone in your forearm. “Even if you don’t remember,” you cry, mumbling out the words through your pain, “you were human. Just. Like. Me.”
Jimin grabs your upper arm this time, and squirm in his hold. You start to cry harder despite trying to hold the tears in. The door to your room slams open. Seokjin looks furious when he steps towards the both of you.
“Jimin leave!"
“What?” The white haired vampire loosens his grip, but stands his ground. Seokjin doesn’t speak again, only gives him a look, and Jimin relents, breaking his stare with several blinks and releasing you. The younger vampire can’t hide his emotions as well as Seokjin and you see the hurt twist his beautiful features.
You sit on the ground grimacing in pain, holding your broken arm to your chest. Outside your room you hear the familiar crash of glass and scrape of wood and you suspect Jimin is not taking Seokjin’s orders well. Seokjin looks much more unhinged than you ever recall seeing him and then impassiveness washes over his face again, much to your disappointment.
“He is usually not like this. He can go months without drinking blood, it seems my ban has just made him all the more obsessed with you,” he sighs.
“Greeat,” you wince, “Lift the ban then, might as well.” If you were being honest with yourself, you were curious what would happen if Jimin bit you. Maybe then he wouldn’t despise you so much.
“The ban is not to protect you, naive little dove.” He sits down on the floor next to you. You find the sight comical, Seokjin in an expensive suit sitting on the dusty floor.
You roll your eyes. Of course. “You care a lot about him,” you whisper softly. He nods. You turn to him, “Do you remember why you started caring? Do you think who he is now still acts in the same way that made you care so much for him?”
“You think I’m a fool?” he laughs softly, “I know Jimin’s...lost his way...” You sit in silence as you struggle to take your mind off the pain in your arm. “For us, time, is infinite. This is only a small stretch of time compared to what I’ve been through. Jimin will come back around, I know it.”
“Well I think he’s a lost cause,” you mumble.
“He’s not, no one is...This is going to hurt a lot, if you don’t mind, I can make it quick.” His hand traces your jaw and turns your head to face him, eyes glancing towards your lips.
“Am I going to have to get used to this, you fixing the pain he causes-”
“Am I going to have to get used to you both provoking each other all the time?”
You bite your lip, he started it, it’s not your fault he freaks out over every little thing you say. You change the subject. “Are there really other prisoners here? Other humans like me?”
Seokjin tuts disapprovingly, “House guests, y/n! They can stop being in service to us whenever they want, we provide them all with a choice.”
“Oh, and what are the options, be your personal feeding supply or die?”
“Ahh see, you catch on quickly, and Jimin calls you stupid.”
Your eyes narrow on him, “Not much of a choice there.”
Seokjin leans into you, “it comforts them, when they think they have some control. You know, you would all be at the bottom of the ocean if it weren’t for us.”
You pull your legs closer to your body, it’s hard to look at him, much less listen to the disturbing things he says, “Why are you telling me this? Am I supposed to be grateful?” You shuffle your body, trying to get comfortable despite the throbbing pain of your broken arm.
“Perhaps,” he scrutinizes your body, “At least don’t provoke Jimin. Ready?”
You hum, “Yeah, I’m ready for my medicine, Doctor.”
He looks down, nodding. “No anesthesia for this surgery I’m afraid.”
He motions you closer, bites into his wrist and fills his mouth with his own blood. You’re careful not to jostle your arm too much as you move in front of him. His long fingers hold your head still as he presses his mouth onto yours, feeding you his blood. Even when you scream in pain he holds you to him as your bone readjusts itself and heals back together, your body in excruciating agony. He holds you tightly, his mouth swallowing your screams until the process is complete, until you pass out in his arms.
---
You wake up to clanging silver. The light feels warm on your face, and then you feel nothing as the curtains are drawn. You open your eyes, ready to protest.
“Oh my god!”
The woman before you jumps at your words. “Your breakfast,” she motions to the tray.
“You're real, oh my god, it’s true! Help me! Please, we can escape together!” The woman stumbles away from you as you desperately try to hold on to her.
“What?” Why is she looking at you like that? Why is she acting like that?! She pushes you away as she opens the door. You’re too stunned, too hurt by this stranger who you thought could help you to question her when she says, “There is no escape.” She closes the door, locking you inside. What just happened?!
Now that you’re alone again you search the room from top to bottom, desperate now that you’ve realized you’re up against so much more. All the drawers are empty, not even a pen and paper in the desk. The window opens but that doesn’t help you because you’re several floors up. The bathroom has running water and the prettiest bathtub you’ve ever seen, so you give up and spend the day soaking yourself, in your clothes. The dress floating and surrounding you reminded you of a certain man, well, merman. No one visits you that night.
The day repeats itself six times. You try different approaches to try and convince the older woman to help you and every time she refuses or ignores you completely.
You don’t get it, you don’t understand, and her behavior disturbs you. You had asked her, “Don’t you want to see your friends and family again?! Do you have children? Or a spouse?” Her answer was, “I don’t think so.”
‘I don’t think so.’ She couldn’t tell you how long she’d been here either. The implication scared you.
You sit at the door, your ear to the wood all day. Sometimes you’ll hear footsteps, you know it’s not Jimin or Seokjin, because they don’t make any noise when they walk. Sometimes you yell and bang on the door waiting for a response that never comes.
One day you yanked down the drapery, opened the window completely letting all the sunshine in, and soaked it in like a cat. Before you woke up the next morning everything had been set back the way it was. It was maddening.
So one day you flooded the bathroom, just to see if anyone would come to stop you. They didn’t and the next morning the tub was gone. You cried all night.
For six nights you’re alone. The fifth night you dig into your dress pockets to find the tiny shell Yoongi gifted you. You tap it three times and wait, holding it to your ear.
“Y/n?” His groggy voice fills the sea noise. You can’t bring yourself to speak, or you would really break down. Hearing his voice was enough.
---
Before the sun sets on the seventh night there is a knock on your door. You’re already so close to the entrance you can hear the soft click as it unlocks and you swing the door open to see Jimin.
He smiled down at you, a picture of sin. The young vampire wore casual loose-fitting clothes, shirt hanging over his shoulders. He dresses so relaxed, so opposite to Seokjin, who wore his shirts buttoned up to the collar. All you wanted to do all day was talk to someone, be heard, but with Jimin here you feel like an animal cornered in a trap, and you want to hide.
He gives you a cocky smile and drapes his arm over your shoulders, dragging you back into the room. “Look at you! Perfectly fine, Seokjin always overreacts,” he whines, “I’m tired of waiting. I can trust you not to tell on me, right pet?”
The vampire presses himself against your back and wraps his arms around your waist, locking you to him, chin digging into your shoulder. You stand frozen against him, Jimin is excellent at making sure you feel like you’re trapped and powerless when you’re around him.
His nuzzles your neck, lovingly like a lover would, inhaling your scent. You craved human contact, but this man isn’t exactly human now, is he? Your stomach turns as the familiar feeling of fear bubbles inside you.
“And if I don’t?” you whisper, and his grip tightens around you.
“You tell me, what do you think will happen, if you don’t?” he mumbles against your neck, teeth grazing your skin and he moans softly. He wrapped himself around your body, caressing your curves, it confused you at how affectionate he was being, or was he just a snake constricting his prey?
Your stomach tightens, you were stronger than this, right? A week in time out didn’t work on you, right? You couldn’t stop the sounds escaping your lips every time Jimin shifted against you. You blame Seokjin’s fondness for him that must have rubbed off on you. You try to step away but Jimin pulls you in closer.
“I thought I was a disgusting human, are you the one who missed me, Jimin?” You ask him softly.
“There are things about you that are only barely revolting, I guess.” He can feel the shift in your mood as annoyance bristles through your body, it makes him smile. You are so defiant for being so scared, it makes him want to break you even more.
You’re scared, but deep down there was a part of you too curious for your own good, that just wanted Jimin to bite you, just to see why and what Seokjin was protecting him from. It would only be to your advantage, if that was the case, right? You stretch your neck to the side slightly to see what Jimin’s reaction would be. His fingers dig into your hips. “What’s this?” Oh no.
Jimin pulls the shell hidden inside your pocket. You grab at his hands, but he’s too fast, dancing around you as he pushes you away, pushing you to the ground.
Somehow you always end up here on the floor, at Jimin’s feet, probably exactly where the vampire thinks you should be. You’ve never seen him more excited, it twists your insides.
Jimin’s cold fingers inspect the tiny shell, tutting. He mouths the words, ‘bad girl’ silently. Tapping the tiny shell, he brings the shell to his lips.
“Yoongi, I know you’re there. Do you want to hear y/n?” He crouches next to you, lifts your chin so your eyes meet his, smiling as if you were playing along on an inside joke. “Do you want to hear her cries? Do you want to hear her moans?” his sinful voice sings tauntingly.
The younger vampire promised Jin he wouldn’t touch you, but Seokjin has so many rules, and this just proved you couldn’t be trusted, that you needed to be taught a lesson. Seokjin will forgive him, Jimin thinks, he always does.
“C’mon, Yoongi wants to hear you, y/n! I bet he misses you. Let him hear your pretty voice.” You just glare at him, staying silent. Jimin didn’t seem angered by your defiance, in fact, he seemed happy.
He pulls your hair, moving your face closer to the shell, his nails dig into your scalp, and you feel them pierce your skin. The pain causes you to let out a strangled cry. “That’s it!” You hold back tears as you glare at him, Seokjin is wrong, Jimin can’t be saved.
“I’m not afraid of you anymore,” you grit out, scratching at his hand.
“Oh, no?” He releases your hair. You jump up but Jimin pulls you down to the ground again. Even as you kick and hit him, it’s obvious it’s not hurting the vampire. He easily pins you down, caging you in with his thighs, his knees pinning your arms to your sides. His fingers wrap around your neck, holding you tight as you grunt against him. You’ve become a mouse, trapped by a snake.
“Afraid yet?” You know he won’t kill you, it seems like torturing you is just too much fun for him. Jimin may be stronger than you, faster than you, but he’s as caged as you are, stuck on this island, leashed by Seokjin’s rules, acting out like a child.
“No.” He lets go and you heave in air, coughing. “Seokjin will find out, even if I don’t say anything. He said-”
“Jin,” he bares his fangs, “says a lot of things.” He brings the shell to his mouth again, “What bone should I break first?”
Jimin laughs, and you wonder what the merman said to him.
Jimin grabs your jaw, tilting your head to the side, reveling in your struggle. He places the tiny shell next to your ear. You try to silence your heavy breathing. “Yoong-g-gi?” You hear the ocean, the rumbling of the sea, and you hear-
“Y/n!” Yoongi’s voice rumbles through the tiny shell, he calls out to you, words rushed and worried, full of concern that has your heart dropping, “Jimin has a weakness, It’s T-” Jimin crushes the tiny shell between his fingers.
Jimin pouts, “I thought he would have used the opportunity to confess, now he’ll never get the chance.”
He moves away from you, “Well, aren’t you going to make a run for it? I didn’t lock the door.” He lifts his eyebrows up, nodding towards the door.
You lie on the cold hard ground stunned. Yoongi's gone. You think of a scenario where you rush towards the door, only to be stopped by Jimin as he tackles you again. No, you won’t do that. Jimin takes and takes, you're going to make it your mission to take from him. You stand up on shaky legs and walk towards Jimin.
“Actually, I rather you just bite me instead.” You’re not confident that he’d really go against Seokjin, so might as well egg him on. “Unless you’re scared of Seokjin?”
Jimin scoffs, jaw clenching in annoyance and eyes narrowing. “Any other cute little means of communication you tried to sneak in here, hmm?” He yanks you close to him again, his hands pull at your dress, wandering over your thighs, skirting dangerously close to your center. He smirks down at you as you pretend to act unaffected by the way his hands glide over your ass, kneading the flesh. His hands run up your corset, getting closer and closer to your dagger.
You run your hand over the front of his pants. It was the only thing you could think to do to distract the vampire before he found your dagger and really killed you. It worked. Jimin stops you, digs his nails into your wrist, but he doesn’t pull your hand away.
So without many other options, you send your quarrel with the vampire off into a whole other direction as you grab for the bulge in his pants. You feel the weight of him in your palm, your mouth drops a little at his size. Jimin’s jaw tightens as you rub up and down his bulge.
You’re stuck in a staring match with the vampire. Two stubborn beings, challenging each other to see who breaks first.
Surprising you, he spins you around and starts undoing the straps of your corset.
No, no, that’s the opposite of what you wanted! “What are you doing?” You try to wiggle your body to face him again, “Just fuck me already!”
Jimin cages you against his lean frame, crushing your body to the closest wall with his own. He inhales into your neck. He can sense the torrent of your spiraling emotions, he feels your hatred for him radiating off your body stronger than ever as he slows his advances down.
“You are acting more stupid than usual, pet.”
“You wanted to play,” you say, “Well, let’s play then.”
He’s never played this kind of game before, and you’ve enticed him, he has no problem calling your bluff. His hand runs along your cleavage, kneading the flesh.
Jimin pulls your dress up slowly, his cold hand running up your leg. You rest your forehead on the wall, shuddering when he drags his fingers across your center. “Your hands are cold.”
He pushes two fingers inside you, deep, you were barely ready for the stretch, crying out from the sudden intrusion and cold sensation. Jimin groans as you whimper against him, “Forget what I am already?” He licks your neck, fingers pumping in and out at a dizzying pace.
“How could I ever forget?” you whisper.
“I regret destroying that shell, I would have liked to let Yoongi listen to what a whore you are.”
Your body tenses and Jimin leans his body harder into yours, pressing another finger inside. “What would the dogs think, knowing their bitch is so wet for their enemy, hmm?” Making you angry is too easy, he thinks, and makes you smell so much better, sexier. Jimin is used to fear, he’s grown accustomed to desire, but your rage makes him ravenous. If Jimin wasn’t so consumed by his carnal desires, he might question himself as to why he wants someone to hate him so much, but all he can think about is how he’s going to drive you to madness with just his fingers. He resists the urge to bite you by sucking harshly on your neck, pulling the blood closer to your skin and leaving dark marks behind.
Before you have a chance at release he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty and holding up the evidence of your arousal, the clear substance clinging to his fingers as he licks them clean, moaning in your face. The sight is depraved, and you can’t look away. He smiles smugly at you as he smells your lust surround him.
“I knew you wouldn’t bite me.”
“We will get to that, we’re playing a game remember? Or do you want to stop now?”
“All this talk and I still haven’t been bitten or fucked, are vampires impotent or something or is it just you?”
Jimin laughs, yanking your body to face the wall again and pinning you to him. “I’ll make you forget everything but my dick while I’m fucking you, you won’t have a single other thought in that pretty little head of yours other than giving me all your pleasure.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m waiting.”
Jimin laughs again, pressing three thick fingers deep inside you again, you legs go weak as he holds you up with the force of his body against yours. He drags his fingers out and higher until he’s circling your other opening. His digits press into both of your holes, filling you up completely as you cry out. You haven’t had someone give attention to that part of you in so long, you tense at the unexpected stretch. His thumb works against your clit expertly as he rocks his hand against yours. You feel so full and overwhelmed by Jimin. “So close already? Beg me to make you come, pet.”
“I’m not your pet.”
You take his torture silently, hold in your moans as he brings you to the brink of release and stops short of satisfaction over and over again. He thrusts his fingers in and out of your holes, until the tight stretch goes away, his fingers easily gliding in and out of your wetness, until the ache is replaced with a need for more. Your entire core pulsates as he slowly and torturously circles your swollen bud, changing the pressure just enough to drive you crazy by ghosting over your clit when you needed more and rubbing even harsher circles when it all becomes too much, his touch making you feverish and sick with desire. When you clench around his fingers, closer than you’ve gotten to release since he started this torture, he pulls out of you completely, pressing his hard cock, straining against the cloth of his pants, into your sore center.
“You smell so good,” he moans. You don’t want to think about Jungkook, you don’t want to taint his memory, but Jimin’s words are so similar. Jungkook is nothing like Jimin, but they are more similar to each other than to a human like you. Perhaps you are just as weak and pathetic as Jimin says, a human can be no match for a vampire, and you’ll never be able to win against him.
“Please Jimin...just let me cum...”
“Beg me.” His usual airy voice drips with arousal, and he presses his bulge harder into your wetness.
You don’t do as he says, you can’t, so he continues his torturous little game, until you’re moaning loudly, head thrown back against his shoulder, whimpering every time he stills. He pulls his fingers out of your dripping core, focusing his attention on your ass, thumb rubbing harsh circles into your throbbing clit, you feel so empty and painfully full as your sensitive walls clench around nothing and his fingers stretch your rim open for him. Your entire body vibrates, but you’d rather stay unsatisfied than say please to Jimin ever again.
Finally, as the sun sets and the last bit of light around the curtains disappears, Jimin realizes he can play his game no longer and pulls away from you completely. Your legs give out as you slide down the wall, mind finally free from the haze of lust Jimin kept you in.
“So weak,” Jimin tuts.
“...impotent...dick...”
“Pathetic slut.”
“I thought about Seokjin the entire time,” you whisper.
“...liar.”
---
You must have fallen asleep, you feel a hand cupping your cheek, and you open your eyes to Seokjin, blonde hair, red eyes, suit buttoned to the collar. You let out a small laugh, and then groan once the pain in your joints wakes you fully.
Jin carries you back to your bed. You tug on his sleeve.
“Please take the pain away,” you ask softly.
Seokin’s eyes search the expanse of your skin, “There are no cuts on your body.”
Groaning, you sit up and kiss the vampire who freezes against you. So you take the opportunity to straddle Seokjin’s lap, and start unbuttoning his shirt, kissing, licking, biting his smooth skin. Jimin’s harsh words replay in your mind and sting you. Screw him, let him think whatever he wants, let him hear you. This had been a part of your plan anyways, first Seokjin, and then you’ll worry about him, might as well have some relief too.
“What happened?” Seokjin asks as you rut into his body, tearing his shirt open. He doesn’t look upset that you popped the buttons, does he ever get upset anymore? You hastily unbuckle his belt. His hands cover yours, repeating his question, “What happened, y/n?”
You grab his hand and move it under your dress. Seokjin stills as his fingers come into contact with your thigh, slick with your wetness from hours of Jimin's teasing. His hands travel up your shaking leg.
“You’re so wet,” he groans, “...Did Ji-”
You silence him with a kiss. “Fuck me, I feel like I’m dying.”
Seokjin laughs against your lips, “Humans are so dramatic,” but he’s already pulling you closer, turning you around to lie on the bed. He bends down to your core, pushing your dress over your waist, you spread your legs wide open for him.
He licks your arousal from your inner thigh, fingers massaging your aching center.
“Ugh fuck, stop teasing me,” you whine. Seokjin fills you with two long fingers, pushing inside you to the knuckle. His teeth bite down on your inner thigh, it stings but your lust somehow lessens the pain. Your body tenses, you clench around his fingers and he speeds up, pulling more blood from your veins.
You flinch when you see Jimin again, reliving the memory from Seokjin’s mind. He’s half naked, kissing a beautiful woman who is fully naked, right in front of Seokjin.
Jimin looks so different, dark hair, flushed skin, tenderness in his eyes.
The girl lowers her body between the men, and fills her mouth with Seokjin’s hardening length. You feel yourself become wetter. Seokjin moans against your feverish skin, biting you for a second time, higher up your leg. It stings again, but you’re too busy trying to get off on his fingers to care about anything but release. Seokjin bites the mound of flesh close to your center, his tongue pressing against your hood, your vision goes white and then-
You see Yoongi’s sharp eyes above you, his naked body on top of yours, cold and wet, hard cave rocks against your bare back. You see Namjoon, a younger version of him, long hair pulled back into a low bun, across the room in bed with another woman. The room is small and empty. Two beds, two couples, Seokjin watching his friend fuck the random girl senseless.
You feel jealousy, watching Namjoon through Seokjin’s eyes. He looks so different, so feral and savage. The bed creaks loudly underneath him as he grips the headboard, and thrusts into her wildly. Jin pumps his fingers inside you in time with Namjoon's thrusts, it makes you feel like you’re going to burst into a thousand pieces. Namjoon’s eyes glow yellow as he gives Seokjin a wicked grin and you’re scared for the first time of Namjoon as he growls, releasing into the woman.
“Don’t make a mess,” he drops the spent girl on Seokjin’s lap, who caresses her face. She’s breathtaking, you feel inadequacy course through you, you feel jealousy, you feel turned on when her full lips envelop Seokjin's thumb. Namjoon pulls the sleeping naked girl from Seokjin’s bed, tapping her check to rouse her awake.
Seokjin’s arousal is overwhelming you. He slams into the woman’s body from behind, chasing his high while holding her face down into the bed, and then his fangs pierce her back as her screams are muffled. You don’t want to come to this, to the feeling of her blood filling his mouth, arousing him and arousing you. Namjoon’s grunts and sounds of sex fills your mind again and you come undone in a silent scream around Seokjin’s fingers.
---
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
You run around the room, darting around Seokjin who watches you rather calmly for the unfolding situation. The rest of his body frozen, the blessed dagger lodged in between his vertebrae, stopping his regeneration.
Once you came, thighs snug around his head, you pulled the dagger from your corset and stabbed him in the back. You kicked him away from you before he could attack and he fell backward, the dagger piercing deep into his back, and that’s where he was currently, frozen on the floor, watching you as you run around the room in disbelief that you actually managed to stab a vampire.
You trip over him by accident and he lets out a soft grunt. “Fuck! Are you okay?” you sit next to his frozen body, “Like, relative to being stabbed, I mean? Don’t answer that...because you can’t. Oh fuck.” You put your head down, resting it on his chest, you don’t hear anything but your laboured breathing. ‘Believe in yourself, y/n! Yoongi believed in you…’
You gather yourself up once again and you move to the window, jiggling the handle. It’s still unlocked! You’re too high up to escape but...
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I really am sorry,” you grunt as you heave the immobilized vampire to the window, inch by inch, Seokjin’s body like a sack of bricks. You place him against the wall and crouch down so you can look him in the eyes, patting down his messy hair, tousled in your struggle to move him, “I’m sorry,” you repeat again, “but you’re a vampire right?” You say encouragingly, and you give him a couple of pats on the cheek, his eyes dart down to watch the action, “Technically, you can’t die.”
With every ounce of strength you have left inside you, you shove Seokjin out the window.
---
You quietly lock the door to what had been your room and prison cell behind you, quickly walking through the halls. You’re not sure what you expected, maybe a gothic interior fit for Dracula, burning candlesticks and red velvet drapes, but you got electricity and mid century modern eclectic, the walls were colorful with art pieces, deep emeralds and golds and blood red. You open the first door you come across.
A young woman sits on a large bed reading a book, looking up at you. Is that how you looked to them? A more disheveled and unpleasant version of her? She looked happy, until she noticed you, and then her smile fell, disappointed you weren’t Jimin or Jin. You slam the door shut and lock it again.
You race as quietly as you can through the halls, you have no idea what you’re looking for, quickly peeking into each room you come across. Strangers, stop what they are doing to look at you, waiting like obedient lap dogs. You have yet to find an empty room. Four doors you’ve opened on this floor, no empty rooms, and you begin to feel hopeless.
You open the fifth and final door and you’re assaulted with the loud sound of moaning. The moaning comes from a woman specifically, her cries almost as loud as the slapping of her skin against Jimin’s naked body. Jimin had needed an outlet after his time with you, specifically, someone to use and bite that wasn't 'off limits.'
You stand frozen in shock, it feels like all the air has escaped the room, filling the woman’s lungs instead as she screams in ecstasy. He is standing next to the bed, fucking into her at an inhuman speed, holding her hips in the air as she struggles to hold the rest of her torso horizontal. You can’t look away, because her body, her stomach, her large bouncing tits, it’s all covered in blood. You almost scream, almost, but the small huff of air you let out instead is enough. The bed stops creaking as Jimin’s movement stops and you meet his surprised eyes.
You shut the door, lock it and run.
You run down the stairs, you see the entrance and you almost run out the door, but you instead run down the hall, flinging every door you see, praying you find something. There's a kitchen, a dining room with the longest table you’ve ever seen, and an empty room! It looks like an office! You run inside. You run to the desk, looking over the papers. Weird markings litter the pages, it reminds you of the markings on Yoongi’s bag. You have to be getting closer to your objective, you have to be! You scatter the papers around, yank open the drawers, hoping to find something useful. There’s a bookcase behind the desk, and you start pulling down books, nothing is catching your eye. You pull on the bookcase, you run your hand across the wood frantically, searching for perhaps a trap door-
“What are you looking for? I can try to help.”
You jump, almost screaming. You hold your heart, it hadn’t stopped, to your surprise. You had no idea someone else was in the room with you. You stare back at a calm man with messy brown hair, he looks at you timidly. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you. I just wanted to help, and it took me a while to organize those books,” he laughs softly. The man shuffles back to the wall, you hear metal clanging and look at his feet, they have chains around them, his hands too.
You look down at your feet, papers and books are all around you “I-I’m sorry. I was just-I didn’t know-” You had no idea how much more time you had to spare so you cut to the chase. “Is there a portal here?!”
The man’s eyes go wide, “Not here,” he speaks softly, “One level lower.” He gave you the answer you were looking for without any hesitation, was this a trick? You look at him more closely, his clothes are loose, like pajamas, and he’s barefoot, he looks at you happily, like you didn’t just storm into his room and destroy his things. The innocent expression on his face reminds you of Jungkook.
You remember why he looks so familiar, “You were sitting next to Yoongi!”
The man tilts his head confused, and then he stares at the door, “you need to leave now,” he rushes towards you, “Go down the stairs to the right.” He finds a pen on his desk. “The portal is in the basement, in Seokjin’s office. You’ll need this to open the door, it will only work once.” He grabs your hand and writes a long looping character on your palm, it burns gold and then disappears, while you stand still in shock.
Before you can question him the door bursts open. Jimin stands in the doorway, looking at you and the other man. His anger is replaced by an expression you don’t quite understand. Heavy silence envelops the room. The awkward tension is cut when Jimin speaks to you calmly saying, “Come here. Now.”
The man steps between you and Jimin. “Stay here, he can’t come inside, just like I can’t leave.” The man leans against the desk, his long legs blocking you from leaving, his chains clanging again.
“Y/n, come here now.” That was the first time Jimin said your name. You look between the men.
“Why would I go to you? You’re going to kill me!”
Jimin runs a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes to the side, “I promise you I won’t kill you if you come here right now.” He says the words as sweetly as he can in his growing irritation, trying to coax you to him, but to you he sounds patronizing and angry.
“Jimin’s lying,” the man next to you whispers, confirming your suspicions.
“Tae, just bring her to me!” the vampire screams.
“No, I don’t want to, you’re going to hurt her.”
‘Tae, he said. Is this Taehyung?’ The same man you saw next to Yoongi, the same man Namjoon warned you about, the man who is protecting you and gave you a way out of this hell of a place?
“Can’t you just do the right thing for once?!”
“You haven’t come to visit me in how long, Jimin?”
They yell at each other like an old married couple. You stare down at your hand, it looks perfectly ordinary, you think you might have just imagined it all, what Taehyung did, but you realized on this island nothing was impossible.
“A-are you a wizard?” you interrupt the men’s arguing.
Taehyung turns back to you surprised and gives you a bright smile, “No, I just learned from one. He didn't call himself a wizard, though” he laughs, “I think the correct term is warlock?”
“Oh, okay, good to know,” you mumble. Jimin quietly seethes at the doorway.
“Why do you have chains on if you can’t leave this room?”
“Yeah, why do I have chains on, Jimin?” He turns to the vampire accusingly.
“Just wait until Seokjin comes,” Jimin mutters, and he pulls the dagger you used on Seokjin out of his back pocket, holding the handle with a handkerchief. “Nice trick, by the way, y/n. Seokjin is still healing himself from the fall. You’re going to regret not coming to me when I asked.” He glares at you.
“So that’s what fell!” Taehyung roars with laughter.
“I said I was sorry,” you mutter, biting your lip. How the hell are you going to get out of this situation now? As if you summoned the Devil himself, Seokjin appears next to Jimin.
You hide behind Tahyung out of instinct, grabbing onto his chained arm. Taehyung holds in his joy while the two vampires' expressions darken.
“Don’t fucking touch him!” Jimin seethes.
You let anger get the best of you and wrap your arms around Taehyung’s waist instead, glaring from behind his shoulder.
“Y/n-” “Don’t,” Taehyung interjects. “-get away from him,” Seokjin warns.
“Why?! How do I know you both aren’t going to murder me as soon as I leave this room?”
“Is there not a spell we can use to get her out?!” Jimin turns to Seokjin ignoring you. You grind your teeth. Two can play that game.
“Why are you locked in here? How do you know Yoongi and Namjoon?”
“Yoongi? We all met him when we came to the island.” Jimin screams Taehyung’s name to silence him, but he ignores him easily. “You should have seen Seokjin and Jimin, he got them all wet and they vowed to make sushi out of him!” he laughs, turning his body around in your arms to face you instead of the pair.
You look over to the two vampires who have gone quiet. “And Namjoon?”
“Taehyung..” Seokjin warns.
“What? I’m not even allowed to talk about it now?” Taehyung whines.
“Enough! Y/n come here...please.” You hadn’t expected a request from Seokjin. “I swear, I won’t punish you for what you’ve done, just come here.” he holds out his hand for you, you can see the magic swirl around his fingers, burning his skin. He winces, but doesn’t move his hand away, even when his tips begin to turn black with char.
“What about Jimin?”
“Yes, fine, I won’t punish you, just hurry the fuck up,” the younger vampire looks anxiously at Seokjin’s hand.
“Y/n, please no! I’ve been here by myself for so long, I can’t stand it! You’re the first person who’s visited me. I don’t want to be alone,” Taehyung whimpers, a high pitched whine as you hesitantly make your way to Seokjin. He reminds you so much of Jungkook. He paces around you, begging you to stay.
“I-I don’t want to be locked in that room anymore.”
“Okay! Just come here!” Jimin yells.
“How can I trust you? How do I know you won’t go back on your word?!”
“They will, y/n, please! Look, Jimin promised he would visit me, he lied!”
Seokjin pulls his hand away, completely burned black and puts out his other arm instead. “You’re just going to have to trust us, like we will have to trust you not to pull any more stunts. We’ll trust each other, okay?” Seokjin pleads with you.
“I-I’ll come back to visit you,” you say to Taehyung. “Right?” You turn to Seokjin who relents and gives you a hasty nod.
“No!” Taehyung whimpers, “They are going to lock you away! Please believe me! You’ll never be able to escape.”
You reach for Seokjin’s hand, but Taehyung jumps in between you, holding out his chained hands. “Look at them! Look closely, what are these made out of, y/n? LOOK!” You study the metal, it looks shiny and silver. It’s silver.
Seokjin lurches forward quickly, his suit catches fire, his warm hand grasps onto yours and pulls you out of the room and away from Taehyung and everything goes black.
---
You wake up in a different room. You’re not alone. Another woman sits on the bed next to you, she jumps when you wake up. It makes you jump, ‘fuck why is everyone so jumpy here?’ you think holding your head in your hands to calm your nerves.
You try to scoot away, and you feel a tug on your ankle, so you pull the covers off of you. You’re in a new dress, all white, like the sheets, like the woman’s dress next to you. You see a chain connected to your foot that reminds you of Taehyung’s shackles but darker metal. No. “My clothes!”
“They made me, I-I’m sorry, I had to give them your clothes. The necklace wouldn’t come off, I-I didn’t tell them,” the woman pulls at her sleeve. “I kept your secret, but I can’t promise you they won’t find out, Master might look into my memories.” Your hand traces the gold watch chain around your neck, calming down.
“Okay...thank you.” You whisper uneasily. “H-How long have you been here?”
The woman thinks, humming to herself. “I lost count, Master did give me this on our Fifth Year Anniversary!” She shows off the blood red jewelry dangling from her ears.
Ugh. “That’s nice,” you say and get out of bed. The dress is tight around you, covering your arms and flowing down to your ankles, the one place the fabric doesn’t touch is your neck, the hemline sits off your shoulders and plunges into a deep V. You scoot your way to the door until you can’t take it anymore and reach for the bottom of your dress, pulling the fabric until it tears.
You hear the woman let out a soft, “oh no.”
The chain stops you from reaching the door, even if you stretch out your legs you can’t grab the handle. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You wheel your body back around, “Hey, what’s your name?”
The woman thinks, humming to herself. “I don’t remember.”
“Listen, I’m going to need you to-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T REMEMBER?!”
The woman flinches from your volume. “Well Master calls me his little doll and I like that name a lot, and I just, well, forgot my other name.”
You take a deep breath as you try not to be sick. “Well Dolly, your MASTER IS A HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLE. YOU FUCKING LIARS!”
---
The group in the parlor turn their heads to the small voice echoing through the halls, Jimin winces, hearing your words clearly, moving one of the women off his lap. “She’s awake.”
“I’ll go-”
“It seems you failed at controlling her, brother. Why can’t I just try?”
Seokjin scoffs, “You can barely control yourself.”
Jimin’s jaw clenches. “I’ll-” he coughs, “-use restraint. I won’t hurt her.”
---
“Monsters!”
“Oh no, they’re going to be so mad.”
“Taehyung was right! I swear to God-”
“So so mad, oh no, oh no no no.”
“I won’t let you get away with this! Liars! Bastards!”
“Master!”
The door opens and Jimin stands against the door frame, ignoring your irateness and addressing your new roommate with a smile, “Hey Doll.”
Jimin standing in front of you had extinguished some of your rage and replaced it with apprehension, halting your tirade for now. “You fucking lied,” you glare at him.
“It’s not locked, I’m not forcing you to be here,” He looks over your shoulder, “Right Baby Doll?” The woman nods enthusiastically back. “The chain was a precaution, I’ll remove it, I promise. We just need to set some ground rules, okay pet?”
“I am not your fucking pet!”
He moves around you, like a buzzard circling it’s next meal, “You look so much better in this instead of that ugly sea dress.”
“Don’t I look pretty?” you hear the woman’s tiny voice ask Jimin.
“Of course!”
You rub your temples, “Jimin, just take this chain off me.”
“After everything you’ve done, and you’re still trying to make demands? Do you know how incredibly lucky you are? Can’t you just show a bit more gratitude like her?”
Jimin kisses the woman and she moans against him, deepening the kiss. You rub harder at your temples. You're chained, a captive audience to what ever the hell display is happening in front of you, becoming more uncomfortable and annoyed with each passing minute.
“Seriously?”
He drapes his arms around the woman’s shoulders and stares at you, “Jealous?”
You scoff. You think back to the version of him in Seokjin’s memories, with the other woman. You remember the tenderness in his eyes as he watched her and you swallow down the lump forming in your throat. You are not jealous! And anyways, Jimin’s tenderness is all gone now.
“She doesn’t even remember her name anymore.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind,” he winks at her, and the woman giggles at your exchange.
“Her entire life has been taken away! What happened, it’s worse than death.” You hug your arms close to your body. Was that going to become you if you stayed here?
“Worse than death?” Jimin echoes your words and you notice him stare at his reflection in the room’s mirror. You stand in silence, watching him as he runs a hand through his hair, pushing back the loose strands while the woman softly hums to herself a sweet melody. She doesn’t sense the looming danger all around you and it makes your chest tighten in anxiety.
“You’re right y/n. Come here.” He holds out his hand for her.
He pulls her into a kiss, she smiles against her lips. You awkwardly shift at the exchange. She seemed happy with Jimin, even if she couldn’t remember the person she was anymore. It makes you wonder if she had resisted in the beginning or had always been this irritatingly agreeable...or maybe she even loved him, maybe her love was the only thing left in her.
Jimin holds her face in his hands, dragging his lips across hers, a spectacle of two lovers. She’s beautiful like Jimin, they fit perfectly together, a rose and a thorn.
It happens so quickly you stand stunned, you don’t have time to scream or stop him. She’s on the ground, neck twisted, dead.
You’re so stunned you can’t even cry, you just shake, fallen to your knees, staring at her beautiful lifeless face. Her red earrings dangle from her ears catching the light.
“What have you done?” Your voice sounds tiny and high, like hers.
“I saved her from a fate worse than death, according to you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
You can’t speak. He moves closer, putting a hand on your cheek, the same way he had held the woman’s head a few seconds ago. His cold finger wipes away your tears. When did you start crying?
“We aren’t liars. I’ll unchain you. So, will you behave now?”
---
You walk the halls during the sunlight. You stop by Taehyung’s door knocking four times, opening the door an inch. “I found this in the kitchen!”
“I’m...allergic.”
“Allergic to chocolate?! I-I’m sorry,” you mutter, though it doesn’t stop you from enjoying the bar yourself.
You lean forward into Taehyung’s room, he puts his chained arms over your head, and gives you a hug. He reminds you of Jungkook so much, sweet and gentle. But he’s not warm like him, he’s still a stranger to you, always dodging your questions. Namjoon’s words constantly play in your mind not to trust Taehyung. Even though out of everyone here, you trust him the most, you like him the most. Being able to spend time with him, even if your conversations are shallow and lighthearted, is the best part of your day.
“Y/n?”
“Hmm?”
“Why haven’t you escaped?” He whispers.
You play with the hem of your dress as a distraction, “I don’t know.”
He always asks you the same question and you always give him the same answer, but today Taehyung persists. “They won’t catch you if you go now! Isn’t that the whole reason you let yourself get caught?” Even though you hardly know anything about Taehyung, he knows so much about you already.
“I’m...I’m scared.”
He pats your head, you shake his hand away, lightly shoving him back. “I’m not a dog!”
Taehyung laughs, “Yeah, you’re a scaredy cat.”
“How dare you!” you hit his leg as he giggles.
“I want to show you something! It will help you when you finally escape!”
You cover his mouth with your hands, shushing him. Looking around to see if there were any others lurking around you, but no one ever comes around Taehyung. “What is it?”
“Well, um, you’ll have to come all the way inside.”
“...I can’t.” You move away from him again and lean your head against the door frame.
Taehyung sighs. “I knew you’d say that!” he whines. “Do you do everything Jimin says now?”
You roll your eyes, “Not even close,” you mutter. “And it’s not just Jimin...”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been told not to trust you...and you haven’t been very open with me, have you?” you look down at your hands, intertwined with his, you trace the gold markings along his chained wrists.
“It’s complicated,” he whispers.
“I can’t see how it could get more complicated than being a werewolf trapped in a house full of vampires.”
“It’s much more complicated,” he pulls on your arm, staring at you with pleading eyes. “Leave a shoe outside and they won’t notice you’ve come inside, I promise!”
You hum, searching for a compromise. “How about this,” you scoot over the entrance, sitting closer to Taehyung while making sure to keep your legs outside. “Technically, I am inside and also outside.”
“But the magic won’t work unless your body is fully inside here,” Taehyung pouts. “The spell on the room will clash with mine and who knows what will happen then!”
“How do you know so much about magic?”
“I can’t say…” Taehyung whispers.
Your expression turns sour, ‘What can you say...’ you think. “Well can’t you just like, Houdini yourself out of here?”
Taehyung shakes his head regretfully. “No, if only it were that simple. And please don’t ask me to explain,” he teases. Taehyung scoots behind you and pulls your body onto his lap. “Let’s stay like this for a while.”
“Okay,” you hum.
“Let go of each other!” You wake up on the floor with Taehyung cuddled to your side, one lone foot of yours still remains outside the door. Jimin pulls on your foot before you can untangle yourself from Taehyung, dragging the rest of your body into the hallway. Taehyung grunts, waking up as you’re pulled from his embrace.
You blink away the sleep from your eyes, face-to-face with Jimin, his head hovering over yours, eyes bright red with anger.
“Leave her alone, Jimin!”
“I-I am allowed to talk to him,” your words come out small and high when you finally speak and you hate it, the way your fear strangles your voice.
“On one condition, just one.” Jimin hisses.
“W-well, t-technically-”
"You're being so unfair!" Taehyung yells. "Do you like her that much?"
“Tae, enough!” He slams the door in Taehyung’s pleading face.
There is a bang on the door, only once, so loud and strong it shakes the entire connecting wall, the picture frames wobble and dust falls from the ceiling, the sound so abrupt and booming it makes you, and even Jimin, flinch.
---
“Jimin told me you were in a...compromising position, with Tae today.” You and him watch the stars from your bedroom window, now locked.
Your stomach tightens. “Taehyung is lonely, maybe if Jimin spent time with him I wouldn’t have to,” you mutter.
“Do you care about Taehyung?” Jin’s eyes study your features, his sharp hearing picks up your heartbeat, waiting to hear any lies in your answers.
“No, I just-He’s the only normal person here.”
“Person? Normal?” Jin quietly laughs.
“A werewolf is a person too.”
“Ahhh, so you think Tae is a werewolf.”
“He is, isn’t he?” You spin around to look at Jin but his poker face is as strong as ever as he smiles down at you.
“Is a vampire a person too?”
You chew on your bottom lip, “I guess so,” you side eye the man next to you, “Deep down. Somewhere.”
Jin kisses your lips softly, carrying you back to your bed and placing you beneath him. You’ve managed to latch onto Jin since that night, a lesser of two evils. The vampire truly was a forgiving man, and even if parts of you were weakened by fear, your mind had impressively blocked Seokjin’s pull since that night as well, so he had deemed you his personal pet project, his puzzle to solve, keeping Jimin an arm’s length away from you.
Jin was nice, sometimes. And sometimes, you enjoyed his company too.
You play with his soft blond locks. You know the pain is coming eventually, so you do everything you can to distract yourself, admiring the vampire’s beautiful features before you. He pulls the deep neckline of your dress easily down your body, exposing your chest to his piercing eyes. His eyes stop on the gold piece nestled in your cleavage, like always, he ignores it. He knows what it is, what he doesn’t know is why Namjoon gave it to you.
The cold air and Seokjin’s cold fingers kneading your breasts sends you into a bout of shivers, when he drags his tongue across your skin you arch your back and push your chest closer to his soft lips. He’s so gentle with you now. Sometimes, you wish he was rougher, like the Seokjin you witnessed with Namjoon.
“Won’t you let me in again, Dove?” Namjoon’s watch falls into the dip in your clavicle, replaced by Jin's fangs as he bites the flesh of your breasts, his fingers pull at your nipples distracting you from the pain. He doesn’t drain you unconscious anymore, instead Seokjin likes to covers your skin in lovebites, taking all night with you.
“I-I can’t control it.”
“Let’s practice control,” Seokin smirks, lips stained red, and he moves his hands down your body.
He takes time stretching you full with his fingers, his lips never leaving your chest, steadily building up the pressure inside you with each quick stroke of his thumb against your core until you’re tightening around his digits. “Don’t cum.”
You tense around him, unable to successfully hold in your moans. “I can’t. I’m going to-”
“Just try, Dove.” You would hope he’d stop moving his fingers, at least slow down, but he’s steady and relentless, his digits pushing inside you in the most perfect mind-numbing pace. There’s no way you could stop your impending orgasm, but you try to hold it off, just two more three four five agonizing seconds longer. Seokjin sucks on the sensitive skin of your breast, mouth pulling as much of the mound as he can fit inside while you pulse around his digits. You feel his teeth sink deep into your flesh and his name escapes your lips in a strangled moan.
His usual dull eyes look up at you shinning with desire. “Let’s try again.”
---
“I brought biscuits.” You hold up the sweet cookies in front of Taehyung’s confused face.
“Thank you, y/n.” Taehyung gives you a bright smile and hugs you extra tight when you peek your head into his room.
“Ready to escape?”
“I-I don’t know.”
Taehyung pouts. “You’re-I'm-” Taehyung struggles to say the right words, “We’re running out of time, y/n.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just need a couple minutes with you, please. I have everything ready!” Taehyung runs to his desk, pulling together a stack of papers. “You want to see everyone again, don’t you? You friends and family?” he pleads.
Your family, you’re ashamed to admit you haven’t thought about them. It wasn’t even purposeful, your mind just had stopped wandering to thoughts of them.
Yoongi, Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok, you couldn’t bring yourself to think about them anymore either, it hurt too much. The small traces of their personalities that Taehyung reminded you of had become sufficient enough as you tolerated living. “W-What do you mean we’re running out of time?”
“I think I have just enough magic to fill your necklace,” he whispers, “but if I remember correctly, that model only holds twelve weeks worth of time. How long have you been on this island, y/n?”
Your fingers clutch at Namjoon’s watch resting against your heart. Could you really rewind back time to when you never got on that damned boat! “I-I just need to take off a shoe?”
Taehyung’s face lights up. “Yeah, or something that has your scent that they can still sense, just in case”
“So the more I leave the less noticeable it would be?”
“Well, I guess so?”
You look around at the hallway, still empty like always, and pull off both shoes from your feet. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” You begin to shimmy out of your dress. Taehyung’s eyes go wide, and he wets his drying lips, then he springs into action, searching his closet for something to cover you. You pull his large sweater over your body and take a hesitant step inside.
Taehyung wraps you into his arms in a proper hug, holding you close. “I’m so happy you found me, y/n. I’m so happy.” He whispers.
He holds you tight to him, you're ashamed how affected you are by his kind gestures, you shouldn’t feel this way about someone who Namjoon told you to stay away from, it felt like a betrayal. “Don’t forget about me once you escape,” Taehyung whispers.
You melt into his embrace. “I won’t. Isn’t there a way to break the spell on the island? There just has to be! There has to be a way to save you and Yoongi and-”
“You like him,” Taehyung pouts.
“What? Who? Yoongi?!” Your face flushes hot.
“I don’t like sharing,” Taehyung mumbles into his sweater currently draped over your shoulders.
You swallow thickly. “Tae?”
He pulls away, holding you loosely, searching your eyes. During your interactions, you usually kept your attention around Taehyung, unable to focus too long on his intimidating aura and good looks, worried you'd start feeling too much for the mysterious man, worried you'd disappoint Namjoon. But now Taehyung is all around you, and his magnetism is too strong for you to resist. “Tae-”
His kiss is brief, however no less impactful, the way he pours his desires into you until your lost in a haze, following his lips as he pulls away, entranced by the small smile he shows you.
When he lifts his chained arms over your head, he pulls your necklace off as well. You were surprised how easily he removed it, when even Jimin couldn’t pull it off you (much to the vampire’s annoyance). You watched intently as Taehyung turns the watch's dial and whispers a spell in a language you can’t understand. “There, it worked, I set it to the full twelve weeks. you’ll know when to use it.” He places the watch around your neck again, his fingers cupping your cheeks and he rests his forehead against yours, content. Your face burns hot, Taehyung is so affectionate and sweet and treats you like glass.
This close, you can peer into his deep warm brown eyes, irises twinkling back at you so beautifully, it looks like gold swirls in them. “Just one more thing, and then the world is ours,” he says.
---
You sit up in your bed abruptly. Your fingers search for Namjoon’s watch as you try to steady your breathing. The hard gold feels comforting against the tips of your fingers as your eyes adjust to the darkness. You’re reminded of the night you first arrived. But gone is Yoongi’s colorful dress, the clinical white fabric of your new dress, sits tight around your body like a straight jacket and blends in with the white bed sheets.
Weren’t you just with Taehyung, what happened? You remember he told you you were running out of time. Then what happened?
You have to go find him!
You leave the bed and search out his room again. Jimin passes you in the halls, as quiet as a cat, startling you so much you almost fall if it weren't for his fast reflexes. “There you are, ugh I figured you’d be headed to Tae’s room,” Jimin frowns, “Let’s go.”
“Where are you taking me?” You fight against his grip as he pulls you in the opposite direction.
“I haven’t fed in weeks, and my favorite meal is gone because of you.”
You shut your eyes tight, trying to push away the images of the woman who haunts your dreams.
“So you’re taking her place.”
“What?!” You're doing what now? “J-Jin said-”
“Are you his parrot now? Well lucky for me, tonight Jin went to go speak with Yoongi,” he says smugly.
You step into Jimin’s room. The dresser was covered with random items that don’t seem personalized to the vampire’s taste at all. Unread books, countless jewelry pieces, and a plethora of knives.
“Don’t even think about it, pet.” Jimin warns as he sees your eyes stop on the sleek blades.
“I wasn’t,” you mutter. It was the truth.
There’s no window in his room, no mirrors, just wood furniture, covered in scratches and dents of aggression. The areas of his room, like his dresser, are littered with things, so many discarded things. The room is soulless, like Jimin, it feels like a lavish prison cell.
“So,” you don’t look at Jimin, instead you look at his things, trying to find some sense of his personality, “I guess you’re going to finally prove to me you aren’t impotent after all?” you mock. You know you shouldn't poke the beast, but Jimin is like an annoying itch you can't help but scratch.
Jimin scoffs, “Slut, can you go a night without getting fucked?”
“Can you?!”
Jimin smirks. “I'm almost going to miss that.”
You take a step away from him at his words. “What are you going to do?”
“Jin is too sentimental, he only skims the surface of his powers now. There is another aspect to a memory pull, it’s much more fun. Can you guess what that is, pet?”
You’ve been guessing and trying to make sense of everything since that night. “That woman's memories, you took them, right?”
Jimin claps his hands, slow and mocking at your right answer. “It’s not a simple task, but she was particularly compliant,” he bites his lip in memory. “She was much more willing to part with her past, her previous life wasn’t so great if you were wondering...some would see what I did as a blessing.”
The vampire stands in front of you cupping your cheek. “But I’m sure you...” his hand follows your jaw, “...will put up an impressive fight.”
You let out the breath you've been holding, if you can do what happened to Jin, maybe you can find something you can use against him. Maybe his torture won’t work on you...!
“You’re going to regret this,” you say, pulling your head away from his hand.
He laughs, “I regret not doing this sooner.” Jimin was tired of Jin's special treatment of you, all these new rules, all the things you've gotten away with when he wasn't even allowed to drink from you, follow his most basic of urges, it was annoying, you were annoying.
You feel exposed under his penetrating stare, you turn your head and hold your wrist out to Jimin, “Well? Go right ahead.” You think the inevitable has been dragged out long enough.
He looks at your wrist, lips rolling over his tongue as his fingers glide over the thin skin, and then he pulls you closer so you stumble into him, yelping. He looks up and down your body, his hair brushing against your forehead, the strands ticking you. You're supposed to hate each other, but the way he holds you and touches you, it’s too intimate, too rough and too soft for you to make sense of it.
“Do you have to ruin all the dresses we give you?” He noticed the slit you cut into your too long dress.
“Why are they so tight?” you say, watching his eyes as they roam over your exposed skin, feeling hot from his attention. You try to keep your thoughts calm, pure, so he doesn't notice what he's doing to you. “I can barely walk around.”
“Then maybe you should stay on your back,” his voice low and taunting. His free hand reaches for the torn fabric and as quick as a flash Jimin tears the slit higher up to your hip bone.
Your hands attempt to pull the slit closed in vain, and Jimin takes the opportunity to pull at the neckline of your dress, ripping the line even lower, exposing your cleavage to him. You slap him across the face, like you would have done any other man, but Jimin is not just a man, not anymore. He turns his face around and you see his fangs against his curled lip, he looks delighted, like you gave him just the reaction he wanted.
He grabs you around the waist and you feel vertigo as you're thrown across the room. You land on his bed, sinking into the mattress, and before you can scream Jimin is hovering over you.
“Your foreplay sucks.”
Jimin pulls your head back, laughing down at you.
"Get it?" you struggle to speak, “because you're a-”
You scream as Jimin finally bites the column of your neck, his body weight pressing down on you. Pain erupts and you can barely breath. His bite is somehow even more painful than Jin's, you hit his shoulders, pull at his shirt, trying to push him away to release you.
---
“What’s your name?” You can barely hear Seokjin’s voice over the trumpets of the band.
“Jimin.” He yells back.
“Military man,” the bartender nods to his uniform, “This one is on the house.”
“Thanks, um?”
“Seokjin.”
Jimin pulls his bottom lip in, studying the handsome stranger. “Thank you Seokjin.”
---
Jimin pulls away from your neck, breathing heavy. You laugh, and laugh, feeling exhilarated, eyes meeting the vampire while you laugh again. Did you just beat Jimin at his own game?
Your laughter stops when Jimin flips you on your stomach. His fingers dig into your hair, bending your back up to meet his chest. You grunt, jaw slack. “Still waiting to see what you've got, Jimin.”
You’re confusing. Jimin doesn’t even smell fear on you anymore, even when he tightens his grip. You must be feeling overwhelmed, like Jimin, who is trying to make sense of the long forgotten emotions coursing through him right now.
For the first time in a long time, Jimin feels uncomfortable, struggling to make sense of your taunts and why you aren’t submitting. Something unpleasant inside him stirs. He’ll make you regret acting like this, he’ll break you in half until you beg for mercy. He’ll do it. So why isn’t he doing it?
“Well?!”
“Fuck, you’re annoying,” he hisses into your ear.
“So I’ve been told, military man.”
Jimin knows you're goading him, yet still, blind rage courses through his veins, stinging his chest. He rips the back of your dress, tearing it down the center.
Was Jimin fulfilling a twisted fantasy you had ever since you saw Namjoon and Seokjin fuck that nameless woman senseless? Could you admit that to yourself as you feel your core become wetter as he presses his hand down onto your bare back.
You push up on your elbows, but Jimin uses his strength to push you back down, holding your head down. His sharp hearing can hear your muffled moan and the unpleasant feeling in the center of his body twists again.
"You like this?" He groans, affected by the smell of your lust. “Fuck, you act like such a desperate slut.” He palms his dick, needing a release. His moans fill your ears as his stokes himself to the state of your body.
You feel his spit hit your skin, his hard length running along your center, covering his member in your juices and his saliva. His tip teasing your entrance, you push back into him seeking more, and his hands hold you down, making you all the more feverish.
Your arousal hits the vampire’s senses in waves, affecting him more than usual as he tightens his grip to keep you still, focusing on the blood blotting your neck. His cock runs up your slit until he rests over your second hole. You look over your shoulder, prepared to taunt the vampire even more, but his dark expression, filled with carnal desire, slightly unraveled, entirely captivated by you, sends your thoughts into a tailspin.
Jimin pushes his thick length into you, stretching you over his cock, inch by inch until your whole body spasms.
Jimin stayed pressed up against you, a small kindness, his fingers circling your aching core. “Don’t-” you moan, and he stills against you, “d-don’t hold back.”
"I wasn't intending to."
And he doesn't. Your orgasm wracks through you, you feel so full and empty as your walls clench down on nothing while he pounds himself into you relentlessly. You start to shake in overstimulation. His thrusts are wild, your neck is there, you smell so delicious and he's so close to release.
When you come close again, at the peak of arousal, he bites down on your soft skin. You yell, clenching around him even tighter.
“This is your fault.”
You see Tae laugh, so unlike his usual sweet boisterous laugh, he chuckles deep, fighting against the chains around him, his wrist markings glowing gold, then deep orange like fire. “No, this is your fault. You were supposed to kill Jin, we could have had everything we ever wanted. How could you betray me like this?”
Jimin’s hands go lax around your waist, so you put yours over his, holding on as tight as you can.
You see Seokjin and Jimin under a street lamp, you and Jimin watch the way the flies dance around the bulb.
“You’re a vampire.”
Seokjin tenses, so Jimin continues, “I saw you with that girl, the regular with black hair.” His eyes scan the man beside him.
“And what are you going to do now?” Seokjin’s words come out low, almost menacing. Jimin laughs.
“Would you believe me if I said you’re not the strangest thing I’ve seen?” Breaking the awkward silence, Jimin brings an arm over Seokjin’s broad shoulders, pulling the man into a headlock. “I forgive you for always ditching me for lunch.” He teases.
Jimin releases his mouth from your neck.
You shift beneath him to look up at the vampire. Jimin’s bite wasn’t as meticulous as Seokjin’s who knew how to expertly pierce an artery, so you weren’t profusely bleeding, but the wounds still ached. Seokjin has the precision of a doctor, Jimin is messy, wild, his entire front is covered in blood. Jimin's eyes were unfocused, you could tell he was lost in thought.
“Jimin?”
“Enough,” his voice shakily commands you. “I’ll just take the part of you that keeps doing this.”
He pierces your exposed flesh once more concentrating harder.
---
Jimin is tiny. His head reaches the older woman’s knee as he hugs her leg. He points to the butterfly, wings fluttering back and forth slowly as it sits on a leaf Jimin found.
“I fixed it, see!”
“My beautiful son,” she kisses the top of his head, laughing at his cuteness. She looks weak and fragile, sunken eyes and skin pale.
“I’ll fix you too, I’ll learn!” He hugs her leg tighter. She soothes her little boy, knowing it’s already too late for her.
“Grow up to be a doctor, heal people.”
---
He pulls away from you. His eyes look wild, like an animal’s, caught. “Stop looking into my mind!” He screams.
“I can’t control it!” You’re just as stunned as Jimin, you never expected to see a version of himself so innocent.
Jimin holds you down by the neck, he doesn’t squeeze your neck enough to stop your breathing, even though he should, he thinks, he can’t do it, he can’t bring himself to tighten his grip.
“Do it again and I’ll fucking kill you,” he lies.
“I said I can’t control it, asshole!” you struggle against his hold, “Maybe if you weren’t so weak-minded-”
Jimin roars. Pressing his weight back on you, his fangs strike at the sensitive flesh between your collar bone. Your first kiss was so special to you, you could still remember it to this day. You were young, awkward and shy, he was your first crush, a cute boy, his features reminded you of one of your favorite idols at the time, who was-
What did he look like? What was his name? When did he kiss you again? It was after school, you think, you can’t remember. How did he kiss you? That’s right, it was an awkward kiss, because you and him were...friends? Weren’t you? You can’t remember, you can’t remember what had happened, it was so special to you and now it’s gone.
Jimin sucks harder onto your skin, pulling more blood out of you. He took it, your first kiss, you know he did. Jimin, if that sweet little boy could see himself now.
You start to cry. You cry for your stolen first kiss.
His teeth sink into your neck again, pulling more blood greedily, trying to silence the memories he found with the steady beating of your pulse instead. He drags his fangs across your skin, more blood releases, so much blood lost already that everything spins around you. “Jimin!”
He covers your mouth to stop your protests. Jimin seems determined to lose himself again, ravaging your body with more bites. So you close your eyes and your thoughts drift to the young boy.
“Good job!” the soft voice of his mothers fills both your minds. Jimin holds a syringe full of milk to a tiny kitten’s mouth. “You have to take care of her now, remember, treat her gently. There you go!”
“She’s so cute, momma, I love her.”
“You both have to watch out for each other when I’m not around, okay?”
You can hear Jimin whimper into your neck.
You feel sadness wash over you. He could have been a doctor, he could have been a healer. He is, in some twisted way, he been given the gift of healing, and yet he uses it to inflict pain. Even if he wanted to pretend he didn’t experience it, you felt the love that he held so dearly for his mother as a small child. You can hear his laughter, he had the same laugh as his mother.
‘Jimin, I’m going to save you too.’
---
You wake up healed, your head pounding. You look around, Jimin lies next to you, he’s out like a light. You both look like you’ve been in a massacre. Your clothes shredded and blood everywhere. You move away from him, his features look angelic, but his skin is covered in dried blood, like a killer. What the hell happened? You take a step and your legs buckle, you cry out when you knee hits the hard floor. The vampire next to you sways, moves across the bed until he falls completely out of it, groaning.
You crawl your body to the other side of the bed where he is still lying on the floor.
When you look at him again, meeting his eyes, you come to a realization. You know his secret.
“Oh Jimin...”
“Y/n...” his voice is shaky, he covers his face with his hands and his soft cries fill the room. You struggle to get up, everything feels tilted on an axis. You sway and hit furniture as you make your way to the door.
There’s a ringing in your head that won’t leave. You follow the halls down to Seokjin’s office, a place Jimin has been so many times before, retracing his footsteps from a memory of his.
Taehyung’s spell worked just as he said, opening the door to Seokjin’s office, the bright markings glowed and then burnt away from your skin, leaving a trace of ash. ‘Taehyung,’ you’ll have to deal with him later, you think. First you need to get away, as far from the island as you can and try to find Jimin’s family.
There’s a large door to the right of his desk, wood an alien shade of purple. The high pitched ringing in your ears makes the room sway again, but you’re able to grip the handle and fall through to the other side.
---
You sit on the floor of a tiny shop. There’s intricate gold pieces; statues, vases, piled high on countless of glass shelves, every inch of the shop is filled with items, it reminds you of someone but you can’t remember who. You can’t even remember how you got here. Where the hell are you? It feels dangerous, it feels wrong.
You move to a corner and hug your knees to your body. ‘Where am I? Wait, who am I?’ You try to remember anything, any memory from your childhood, from your adulthood. And the past five minutes replays in your mind instead. Gold jewelry in glass cases and the feeling that you shouldn't be here, and a deep voice in your head whispers, “y/n.”
Y/n, is that your name? Your hands skim over the fabric of your torn dress, looking for pockets, looking for anything that might explain something to you. You need to get out of here, you need to leave, but you don’t even know where you are.
You hear a ding, a bell alerting an opening door. You hear a man speak to another. You run out the door while the man behind you lets out a surprised yell to come back.
You run and you run, past buildings past people. You’re barefoot, your clothes hang off you. Eventually you stop. Eventually you decide to ask an old couple who looks unthreatening where you are while you unsuccessfully try not to burst into tears. The old woman holds your hands and strokes your arm to calm you while the husband calls the police.
At first they suspected you were a victim of abuse. They took you to a hospital. The doctors performed several tests on you, each one worse than the last. You had no old memories, and all your new ones were horrible. Clinical, painful, strangers prodding and poking your body. Your dreams were filled of palm trees and warm sunshine on your skin, a sparkling blue ocean, laughter, happiness. So you slept most of the day.
Then one day, detectives came with nurses and they told you who you were. That it took so long because you had been pronounced dead over a month ago. Your parents were on a flight to come get you. You listened to them explain the events hoping to have a jog of memory but nothing comes. They talk about the boat, the crash, no survivors. Always another horrible new piece of information. When will it end?
When your parents picked you up, a lovely man and woman who you tried desperately to remember, the hospital staff gave you a bag with the clothes they found you in. There was a gold pocket watch, an item you didn’t remember having, but you didn’t remember anything, so it didn’t surprise you. You told them to throw everything away, but you kept the watch with you.
You have to stay with them, everything in your life had been reduced to a few boxes they had kept. You lost your home, your identity, you had no money, no job, the only thing you acquired during this whole time was a death certificate.
You start remembering your childhood, slowly at first, a memory here and there, a fall and cut knee, a tea party with stuffed animals, a school field trip, and then years at a time.
You found yourself again. You remembered who you were, your entire life up until you didn’t, the memories fracturing at the end, and the harder you tried to remember how you could have ended up in a different country across the world, your mind would construct horrible images instead, blood, drowning, and death. You couldn’t bare to think of it.
---
“Y/n!” you make your way into the coffee shop, you reconnected with some old childhood friends now that you were back in your hometown.
“Hey, oh my god, who is this big cutie?” Your friend’s dog barks excitedly while you fluff the black fur on his head. He’s so cute, his ears flop to the side with each happy bark.
“Y/n, are you okay?”
“Huh?”
“You’re...well you’re crying?” She looks at you concerned.
You touch your wet cheeks. Why? You don’t know when it started, but as your friend’s dog nudges his head into your palm for more pets, your heart aches.
---
One night, a crazy thought enters your mind. You want to go back to that shop. You want answers. You leave a note for your parents telling them your intentions and pack your freshly made identification cards and travel documents into a suitcase.
So here you are again, in a foreign country, alone again, filled with purpose that seems to pull you in despite how terrified you are.
You scroll through your phone while you lie on the hard foreign hotel mattress. You open a map of where you are on your phone, and zoom out until you see water.
There's islands around the peninsula, you zoom into each one and search each name on your phone, learning each habitat, who lives there, if it is accessible. You do that to pass the time until you fall asleep.
“It’s too dangerous.”
You reach for the merman, grabbing at Yoongi’s shirt and pulling him closer, your eyes meeting his. “Explain.”
Yoongi is taken aback, licking his lips trying to think of a good way to start. "We made a blood pact to protect this island from the outside world, it's indiscoverable and once anyone does come here, they can't leave."
"Why..." you let go of his shirt, but he stays close, "Why would you do that?"
"Think, just think what you humans have done to the world...the others needed some place safe to go to and I-" the merman huffs, "At the time, I thought...well, they were...at the time I didn't mind sharing the island with them. "
Your fingers roll over the bracelets Yoongi put on you. "That was nice of you." The merman glares at you in return.
"You know, they'd come here, we all spent time together." Yoongi's stare is faraway and distant. "In the beginning, at least."
"I-I'm sorry." You hold his hand, and he stares at your fingers only briefly before shaking you off.
"Whatever, I'm surprised they didn't start trying to tear each others throats out sooner," He mutters. "We had portals of course to leave when we wanted to, but one day Namjoon and those dumb dogs destroyed all the portals-"
"What?! Why would they do that?"
"I don't know all the details, but I believe Namjoon did it to protect the rest of his pack. I can respect him for that...but the problem is they trapped us all here like idiots!"
"Is that why you're helping Jin and Jimin?"
"What? To get back at Namjoon? Pfft no. Jin came to me with a deal. He looked off, sick, and he offered me anything I wanted, so I helped him. That's it."
"So technically you can leave the island?"
"I can swim the waters, but I can only go so far, the magic always pulls me back eventually, it's useless to try," he mutters.
You hum.
"Anyways, what Namjoon doesn't know is Jin used some leftover magic and created a portal. Jin has lots of friends that serve him, owe him favors, he uses it as a delivery system."
"So you think if I?"
"That's the only portal I know of, but the magic is dangerous, the vampires put so many protections on their house, they won't even go through it themselves, there has to be a reason, right?"
"I...I'll take my chances."
"They wont even chance going through it, and you will?"
"Yes! And what if I can find a way to break the spell? Then you can finally leave! Yoongi, you have to let me at least try!"
"You're going to get yourself killed one way or another," Yoongi scoffs.
"No, I refuse to believe that."
"You're impossible to understand."
"I'm going through that portal. Then I'll come back for you."
"Wait, you'll come back?" Yoongi asks.
"Well, yeah, if you help me, a deal is a deal. Yoongi please, help me come up with a plan and I swear to you I'll come back with your payment. You're the only one who can search the ocean, you just have to find me again, so what do you say merman?"
"I'll find you again."
---
Your alarm wakes you up. 'What a weird dream,' it felt so realistic. Like all your dreams, the more you think about it, the less you remember, but that man's scarred eyes, whose name you forgot already, they stay with you.
You brush your teeth and wash your face. You notice something as you rinse off your skin. 'What the hell is that?' You inspect the gold writing behind your ear. Taking some more soap, you work to remove it but it doesn’t come off, the glittery ink is permanent. You rubbed your skin raw trying to take it off, it didn’t look like a tattoo, but nothing you did would get rid of the gold markings. You pace around your hotel room, things are getting weirder and you start to feel a nagging sense of dread, but there's a voice inside you that says to keep going until you find the answers you are looking for.
You don't walk right into the shop at first, instead casing out the place. You drink coffee at a nearby restaurant and keep watch on the shop. There are not many visitors, and those who do enter are not who you would expect. You would think maybe some older people who were looking for vintage items would decide to enter, or eccentric younger people, but it was almost always a intimidatingly large man entering, bringing items in rather than taking items out.
You’ve gotten into the habit of playing with the gold chain around your neck, the gold pocket watch had become a permanent accessory.
It's almost closing time for the restaurant, so you reluctantly make your way to the shop, and walk in after a group of tourists.
The shop looks different than what you remember, new items litter the shelves. You hide behind the large cases, studying the objects, until you come across something that makes you hesitate. A necklace with a large red gem hidden behind a thick glass case with a lock.
“You’re that girl! You...you came back.” Your head turns into the direction of the voice, a very old man stares back at you. He looks at you incredulously while you can only stare back dumbly. “C'mon, let’s go,” the old man says, he grabs your elbow. “Seokjin should be awake by now.”
“Let me go! You can’t keep me here!” You pull away from his grasp, your hand tightens around the amulet.
He laughs at you amused, giving you some space. “You walked into my shop, did you not? You don’t want to talk to Seokjin?”
“I…” Do you?! Would he know what happened to you, why does it make you shiver hearing his name.
Wait...you look down at your hand, to make sure you didn't imagine it, and there you see the necklace in the middle of your palm, heavy in your hand, you hide it behind your back, looking over your shoulder to the empty case, the shock of it makes you freeze.
The man looks at you cautiously, “Why are you here, girl? Are you here for Seokjin?”
Seokjin. That name fills you with dread. A vision of a man flashes across your mind only briefly, “I d-don’t know.” The old man raises an eyebrow at you. “Stay here, girl. I'll be right back.”
Where is he going? What is he going to do with you? Your mind spins and the skin behind your ear stings. 'Now y/n. Do it now.' that deep voice is back. You panic when the old man comes back with two others.
'Use the watch, y/n. Use the watch. NOW!'
---
“On one condition, just one.” Jimin hisses.
As you lie on the ground you feel like the weight of the world just crashed upon you. Your chest feels like it’s going to explode, there’s a ringing in your ears, the skin behind your ear still burns hot.
Jimin noticed the sudden shift in your demeanor, the way your heart begins to race as you start to break down. Every day, starting on the night your boat was capsized, replays in your mind as you start to remember your time on the island. You see Taehyung, who looks at you and then his eyes go wide, realizing the situation, eyes ablaze with growing excitement.
“It worked, didn’t it?” Taehyung’s deep baritone voice breaks the silence. You can only take in shaky breaths as your tear filled eyes try to focus on where you are. You traveled back in time, precisely twelve weeks to the second, you’re back on the island, thrown back into your nightmare like you never left. The only difference now is your left hand clutches a second pocket watch, now broken, and your right hand clutches the amulet.
Jimin looks between you and Taehyung. “What have you done?” Jimin accuses Taehyung, whose eyes haven’t left yours. Taehyung’s lips curve into an encouraging smile, he holds out his chained wrists to you. The vampire whips his head in your direction, but it’s already too late. You throw the amulet into Taehyung’s awaiting hands. You didn’t want to give it to him, but as if Taehyung had pulled strings around your body, you complied to his silent request. The minute the gem touches his skin, the gold markings around his wrists burn away.
The explosion knocks you back meters, everything is broken, everything is dust, you can’t see and your body aches. You hear screaming and yelling and groans of pain. You crawl through the debris searching for a way out.
Red light flashes through the smoke. You choose to crawl towards it, hearing Jin’s loud booming voice.
Taehyung pulls you back, his body behind you like it just materialized out of thin air. "C’mon y/n. Let’s escape."
“This...This is all your fault!” He looked surprised by your reaction.
“What you think you know, you’re mistaken.” He lifts you to your feet easily.
It feels like the air around you is vibrating, your body feels lighter in Taehyung’s presence.
“Please let me go,” you cry.
“Don’t worry, once we escape, we’ll be fine again.” His hand holds your hip tight to his body as he drags you in the direction of the portal.
Seokjin crashes into you both, knocking Taehyung away from you. You hear their struggle, and you’re back to crawling away through the smoke helplessly. Your fingers hit the hard cold gem of the amulet, and you wrap the chain around your fingers.
You can’t remember how you found the stairs, the wood half shattered, or the exit, blown wide open by magic, you can’t remember leaving the mansion, you just remember once your bare feet hit the soft grass outside you ran and you didn’t stop running, until you heard the sounds of waves. You ran until water hit your feet and then you screamed.
---
YAY I FINISHED THIS MONSTER OF A CHAPTER (Get it? I’ll shut up). Thank god, I felt as trapped in this chapter as y/n in that damn room :’). Okay, but now we’re getting somewhere! What do you think is going to happen now? Looks like this story might finally be headed off the island :D. I’m excited!
Questions to ponder for the next chapter: What is Jimin’s secret? Looks like there was a good reason for keeping Taehyung locked away, so what is his ultimate goal? What did Taehyung do to you? And why are Jin and Namjoon no longer friends?! Those are just some of the questions floating around in my mind as I am writing the next chapter, now do you have any questions you want answers to? Let me know! <3
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jcwriting · 5 months ago
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There’s A First Time For Everything
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summary ↬ namjoon has never had a blowjob before. you’re about to change that.
pairing ↬ idol!namjoon x reader
genre ↬ smut, pwp (im not kidding there is zero plot to this), fluff, (new) established relationship 
word count ↬ 2.8k
warnings ↬ swearing, oral (m receiving), face fucking, choking, reader has a painful thigh kink (don’t we all), overuse of the word thigh
authors note ↬ listen,,,,i saw that picture of namjoon in shorts (you know the one) and i just,,,lost it. also, this is my first time posting fic for bts and im shitting bricks about it so pls be nice to me!!!!! i hope you enjoy this quick (thirsty) little ode to namjoon’s thighs. pls let me know what you think!
also, the gif above haunts me. everyday. okay, enjoy.
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“I want to give you a blowjob.”
Namjoon choked on the swig of water he had just taken. The two of you were watching TV. Actually, Namjoon was watching TV. You were sitting on the floor at the coffee table with your laptop out to answer some work emails. But, you were distracted. Specifically by Namjoon’s shorts. More specifically, Namjoon’s thighs in said shorts. The smooth golden skin was begging for your lips and your fingers itched to scratch your nails down to his knees. Then, your eyes naturally glided further up to the apex of his thighs. Where you knew his cock was resting. Again, just begging to be in your mouth. The thought of your jaw and throat aching while he lost it above you consumed your mind. All hope was lost then.
“You…um. Sorry. You want to do that?”
You cocked your head to the side. “Uh, yeah. Wait, did you want me to ask? I’ll ask. Can I give you a blowjob? Please?”
Namjoon chuckled. “No, no. You don’t have to ask. It’s just, y’know, are you sure?”
“Yes,” you said slowly. What was he not getting? “Do you not want one?”
“No! No, oh my god. I want that. I definitely want that. That’s not the issue.”
“Then, what is?”
Namjoon blew out a breath that fluttered the hair that rested on his forehead. He cupped the back of his neck and rubbed awkwardly. “I’ve never had someone do that to me before. So-”
“What?” You would have been less shocked if he had told you that he was a closeted furry. The two of you had only been dating for about a month so the in-depth what things did your ex do in bed conversation hadn’t been fully fleshed out yet. You knew he had lost his virginity to his previous girlfriend and they had had a healthy sex life, so you had just assumed that him receiving oral was part of that. Yet…this man, this absolute Adonis of a man had never gotten his cock sucked? It was the most absurd thing you had ever heard in your life. “Hold on. You had a girlfriend before me, right? She didn’t go down on you? Ever?”
Namjoon looked like he wanted the couch to swallow him whole but you barely noticed. You were too busy experiencing the shock of your fucking life. “I did. But she - uh, no. She didn’t want to and I didn’t want to pressure her.”
Your heart melted a little before you shut your laptop. Healthy sex life your ass. You were sucking this mans dick and that was final. “I’m going to give you a blowjob, Namjoon. Right now.” You turned to him and began crawling forward. His eyes flew to your ass that swayed in the air and he audibly swallowed. “If you don’t want me to then you need to tell me within the next thirty seconds.”
“Oh God,” he whimpered and spread his legs a little wider. You were salivating. “Yes. As long as you’re sure-” Whatever he was going to say was cut off by a heavy groan as your hands slid up his thighs. Finally, you smiled to yourself as you bent your fingers and allowed your nails to dig into the meat of his inner thigh.
“I have a thing for your thighs,” you murmured. “Never realized I had a thigh kink until I met you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I want to ride your thighs. Will you let me?”
“God, yes.” Namjoon went to reach for your arms but you batted his hands away. This wasn’t about you right now. This was about him. You reached for your hair and quickly pulled it into a sloppy bun. His eyes followed your movements and you didn’t miss how the bulge in his shorts twitched.
“I need you to tell me if I do something that you don’t like, okay? I want to make you feel good. Don’t be afraid to talk to me. If you like something, let me know. If not, then definitely let me know.” Namjoon nodded feverishly. His eyes were almost black and his chest was straining against his white top. You smirked to yourself. This was going to be fun.
Bending down, you pressed a kiss to the top of his thigh. Your mouth dragged along his skin and you relished in the way he quivered beneath you. Following the seam of his leg before doing the same on the other. Nails pressed little crescent moons into his flesh before your thumbs smoothed over the marks. Your nose lifted the loose material of his shorts up to his hips and skimmed the exposed areas as your tongue reached out to flick the little freckle that found a home on his hip before you set your sights on his dick that was straining for you. Lips that had previously kissed his skin now moved to the fabric that jailed his heavy cock. Sitting back, your thumb traced the underside of his dick softly before you barely brushed over the head. The cotton dragged against your finger and Namjoon huffed loudly before lifting his hips further into your touch.
“Don’t tease.” Namjoon’s voice had lowered a few octaves and the deep tone had you clenching your thighs. His hands fisted the pillows next to him and you could feel the restraint he was exacting on himself through the trembling of his muscles.
“I’m not,” you promised. “I’m just making sure you’re ready.”
“I am. Swear to God.”
Unable to keep the smile off your face, you nodded and reached for the waistband of his shorts. He lifted his hips and helped you shove the material to his ankles. That was when you realized two things.
One, he was right. His cock laid thick and proud on his stomach and was weeping for you. He was of average length but his girth let you know that were going to struggle to fit him in your mouth. The thought only made you shiver in delight. A phantom pain panged in your gut when you took in the slight curve of the head, knowing it was going to hit everything you needed.
Second, he had the prettiest cock you had ever seen. You never thought dicks were pretty. In fact, you were pretty resolute on that thought. Most likely due to the disgusting amount of unsolicited dick pics you had received in your life. But, Namjoon’s?  You wanted to take a picture, frame it and admire it whenever you wanted to. The skin that stretched around his width was a shade darker than the rest of him and his cock head, a pretty red color, made you want to see how far down you could get the flush to go.
You wrapped your hand around his length and twisted up. Namjoon’s back arched off the couch and a string of curses fell off of his lips. Your thumb collected the glistening pre-cum on his tip and used it to smooth your palm over him.
“I normally don’t say this,” you said as you became infatuated with the vein that ran along the underside of his cock, “but if you want to send me a dick pic, I definitely won’t complain. Like, ever.”
“B-baby, I’ll give you whatever you want. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Namjoon moaned, throwing his head back when your thumb pressed against the delicate skin that resided under the his mushroom tip.
You giggled lightly. “So sensitive. I’ve barely even started.”
Namjoon opened his mouth to say something but you didn’t give him a chance. You licked the vein that had caught your eye earlier and followed it to the top before enveloping the head of him into the heat of your mouth. You relished the broken groan that he let out. Several kitten licks were placed on his weeping slit before taking him deeper. You worked slowly, gauging his reaction as you took him further. He responded well, panting and moaning in encouragement, head still thrown back against the couch.
“You can look at me, you know,” you reminded him as he popped out of your mouth. Kisses were mouthed over the soft skin that was wrapped around the steel of his erection. Your hand used your spit as lube to tug him harder.
“Can’t,” Namjoon gasped. “Gonna blow my load if I watch you.”
“That’s kind of the whole point.”
“Not yet,” he whined. “I don’t want this to be over.”
You pinched his hip until he met your gaze, offering him a sweet smile. “This isn’t going to be the last time I get on my knees for you, baby.” You held his wide-eyed stare as you took him back into your mouth. Ignoring how his hands seemed to flutter around you, unsure of what to touch, you focused on sliding him further into your mouth. Then, you sucked hard, using your tongue to lave at the warm skin.
Namjoon lost it above you. He released a strangled moan that caused your core to absolutely gush. One hand finally tangled into your hair and the other gripped your shoulder with warning, which you ignored. You merely sucked and pulled harder. Namjoon’s hips flexed, causing the tip of him to slam into the back of your throat. Not expecting it, you couldn’t help but cough around him as your eyes watered.
“Oh, God! I’m so sorry.” Namjoon used the hand on your shoulder to yank you off. His thumbs wiped at the tears that trickled down your cheeks, the concern etched across his face made you feel warm inside. “Shit, are you okay?”
“I am, promise,” you assured him. “Just give me a second, okay?”
He nodded while pushing back some of your hair that had escaped your sloppy up-do. You gently removed his hands before looking down at his length that was still clutched in yours. As much as he had shocked you, the thought of him fucking your face was not something you shied away from. Really, it was exactly what you wanted. But you needed to prep a bit first.
When you took him back in your mouth, you focused on relaxing the muscles in your throat. Breathing deeply through your nose, you slowly worked yourself further down until your nose was pressed into the base of him. Spit trickled out of your mouth and over his balls as you pulled back. You did this a few more times, working past your gag reflex and allowing your throat to get used to the intrusion.
Namjoon was anything but quiet as you deep throated him. It was honestly the sexiest thing you had ever heard. While your past lovers hadn’t necessarily been quiet, the praises Namjoon kept raining on you and the beautiful noises he made were music to your ears. Your body certainly agreed. Your cunt ached to be filled and the fabric of your panties was soaked through. But, you ignored your needs and focused on the panting man before you.
“Okay,” you nodded as you popped him out of your mouth. “I’m ready.”
It took Namjoon’s brain a few seconds to process what you said. He shifted restlessly on the couch cushions as you ran your hands over his thighs. “Huh? W-what did you say?”
“I’m ready for you to fuck my face.”
His pupils were blown wide as he stared at you with an open mouth. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“What if I want it to hurt?” You stared at him while purring the words that was his undoing. Namjoon’s eyes got impossibly darker as his chest expanded with a sharp intake of breath. He spread his legs wider and gently held the back of your head as he guided you down his shaft. You held eye contact with him as he cautiously raised his hips to meet your lips. Once he saw no signs of distress from you, he began thrusting more consistently as you bobbed your head to match his rhythm.
His steady movements didn’t last long but it didn’t bother you. You were more than happy to take over for him. Like you said, this wasn’t going to be the last time you worshipped his cock. The two of you had plenty of time to figure things out. Plus, knowing how much you clearly affected him gave you all the motivation you needed.
Your throat began to tense up again so you focused your attentions on his sensitive head and let your hands twist up to your mouth and back down. The sounds of your palm gliding along his slick skin and your lips sucking tightly filled the spacious living room. They were nearly drowned out by Namjoon, though.
“Baby, oh f-fuck…shit,” he keened loud and hard when your other hand moved to brush over his swollen balls. You cupped them gently and rolled them between your fingers. Even as he was practically thrashing against you, hips thrusting in an aimless rhythm, the hand he had originally placed on the back of your head remained there. He applied no pressure, allowing you to set the pace, but it also seemed to ground him. To remind him that this wasn’t a dream.
“M’gonna cum. Baby…baby, I’m gonna cum. Soon, oh God,” he babbled. You appreciated the warning but you didn’t need it. He was twitching wildly in your mouth and your tongue was coated with the salty essence of his pre-cum. In response, you ran your index finger on that sensitive spot behind his balls and that’s when Namjoon exploded.
Thick ropes of white shot down your throat, causing you to almost gag. Instead, you swallowed past the reflex and took as much as you could. By the fourth stream, a bit had managed to slip past the suction of your mouth and dribble down his cock. You were quick to clean up, licking at the mess the both of you had made before returning to his tip. You suckled the sensitive head until Namjoon practically shoved you away from him.
When you looked up you were met with a glorious sight. Namjoon was completely fucked out, twitching against the couch and his broad chest heaving for air. Sweat beaded his sharp jaw line and trickled down the column of his throat. His face was tilted towards the ceiling and his hair was haphazardly pushed off of his forehead. He looked completely ruined and entirely yours.
“Was that good?” You asked softly as you rose to your feet, ignoring the sharp ache in your knees. Namjoon made an unintelligible sound in the back of his throat that you took as a resounding yes. He cracked his eyes open and looked at you with such adoration you couldn’t help but blush.
“Really?” He murmured. “Don’t get shy on me now. You can’t just suck the life out of me one second and then start blushing like a school girl immediately after.”
“It’s called duality,” you muttered as your cheeks flushed darker. Namjoon snorted and reached for you, pulling you onto his lap. His spent cock nestled between your thighs and his eyes rolled back into his head when he felt the simmering heat through the fabric of your shorts.
“I need five minutes. Then, I swear to God, I’m going to eat you out like you deserve.”
Giggling, you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the strands of hair at the base of his neck. “You don’t have to. This wasn’t a quid pro quo situation. I gave you a blowjob because I wanted to. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“It’s either you give me five minutes so that I can eat you out or ten minutes so I can fuck you into next week. You decide.”
His determination brought a smile to your face until you took in the purple bags under his eyes and how his eyelids kept drooping lower and lower. “How about a nap first, hm? I’ll decide after you get some sleep.”
Namjoon looked like he wanted to protest but you kissed him instead. His argument clearly wasn’t that strong because when you pulled away he was nodding in resignation. You helped him pull up his shorts and squealed when he lifted you up into his arms. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you let him carry you into the bedroom and wrap the both of you up in the comforter. You hadn’t planned on sleeping with him, wanting to get more work done while he slept. But the faint scent of his aftershave and the soft way he caressed your spine could lull an insomniac to sleep. Who were you to refuse?
“Wake me up when you decide,” Namjoon whispered into your hair. You nodded against his chest, and within minutes the two of you slipped into a deep slumber. Happy and content.
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©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.
LINKS:
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kookiestarlight · 5 days ago
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Double trouble | fic announcement!
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➸ pairing: dad!namjoon x mom!reader
➸ genre: fluff, a little angst, smut, married couple, domesticity, parents au, slice of life
➸ rating: 18+
➸ summary: with a toddler going through the unruly “terrible twos” and another baby on the way, tension has been running high in the Kim household — especially between your husband and you. Fortunately, namjoon always knows just the way to melt away your stress and bring peace flooding back into your heart.
➸ release date: october (specific date tba!)
a/n: I was craving for some domestic husband joon and I couldn’t get dad!joon out of my head so I guess this is the result of that🥲 super excited to share my first joon fic soon!! <3
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taglist: let me know via my ask box, message or comments if you would like to be added! 🤍
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joheunsaram · 14 days ago
“kissing as they move around trying to get to a bed, bumping into everything” with namjoon 💕
Dreams (knj)
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word count- 819
pairing- Namjoon x Reader
rating- PG-13
genre- fluff, confessing, (un)requited love
warnings- none
an - this was requested to me by two people! i hope you like this 💕
-
You had almost fallen asleep, slivers of the night dancing behind your eyelids, spinning your head into a flurry of a kaleidoscope. You knew he didn’t want you, yet you tried. You let your friends convince you to go to the bar, convince you to confess in a drunken haze when you met him outside as he smoked. For all the fanfare and anxiety, it was relatively easy. Three words spoken in a whisper. A hand on his sleeve right before he turned. I like you.
But now you were here, alone in your bed as your room spun even behind your eyelids. You wish you could blame it on the alcohol, but you were sober by now. Regret seemed to make its home in your heart, but you didn’t want to go back to unrequited pining. Rejection was better than the what-ifs. It was better to leave his pretty dimpled smile in the past than to dream about the impossible.
With a sigh you squeezed your eyes shut, your head pounding, your skin wanting to crawl off your body. Sleep would be good. Sleep would let you shut your thoughts off for a little while till you had to see him again tomorrow at work. You were positive you could pretend everything was normal. You had done it for the past year, hadn’t you? It was easy to pretend that your heart didn’t lurch in your chest at his every passing touch.
You had almost fallen asleep, but then you heard it. A knock. A light rasp of knuckles against the wood amplified in urgency with every passing moment, till you had no choice but to leave the condescending comfort of your mattress and drag your feet to the door. You really ought to have checked who it was before opening the door. But then again, nothing could have prepared you to see him standing there.
You didn’t know how long you just stared at him in silence, the cold metal of the doorknob branding itself on your palm. It didn’t feel real. Perhaps you were still in bed, letting your mind spin you tales of disbelief, but then why did his lips suddenly against yours feel so real? Why did his hands on your waist feel so strong, as if letting you go would make him perish?
It wasn’t like you had imagined it would be, a serenade of bluebirds, a sense of weightlessness - it was grounded, solid, real. You always thought his lips would be the softest of petals, but they were chapped in a way that reminded you that you could've never dreamt this up.
He pulled you against him, walking you back into your apartment, pushing you against the wall. You didn’t care for the photo frame poking against your scalp, not when he suckled on your lower lip with a gentle urgency that made you lightheaded. And when his tongue coaxed its way between yours, it was ecstasy, a euphoria you had long forgotten, spilling out of you in a mewl.
He spun the two of you around, blindly making his way through your cluttered space. The obstacles didn’t matter, books falling onto the floor when he pressed his body against yours on the bookshelf, pausing your joint journey to the bed to get a deeper taste of your lips. You hissed when your shin banged against the coffee table and he responded by letting his hands roam down your sides to your thighs and lifting you up with an ease you thought only protagonists of your favourite movies possessed. Your fingers caressed his hair, drier than you thought they’d be, but then again he did have the terrible habit of dying it every few months. He walked with you to your bed, grunting against you when his hip collided with your desk, sending the cup that held your pens rolling to the floor in a muted crash that was ignored.
When he laid you down was when he left your lips for the first time, hovering over you and gazing softly into your eyes. He moved the wayward strands on your face, memorizing your features, kissing your lips chastely before he spoke.
“You left,” he whispered. “You left before I could say anything.”
“What did you want to say?”
“Something. Anything.” His hands still played with your hair, twirling the strand between his fingers. “Mostly that I like you too.”
And then it was your turn to capture his lips, leaning up to wind your arms around him and pulling him to you as a chorus of his words rose inside your head, warping your memories in a new light as if they were a mere sepia before they ignited. Him always helping you with your projects, him always bringing you coffee, him remembering your lunch order, him bringing you a cupcake on your birthday, him asking you to dinners you were too afraid to go on. All the signs that you mistook as friendship painted a rosy pink like the flush on his cheeks.
In the moonlight filtering through your drapes, you felt his weight on top of you, his lips tracing your skin, and you knew it wasn’t a dream. Your months of feelings were finally returned.
Kim Namjoon liked you back.
-
Check out my masterlist 💕
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wannabegwenstacy · 12 days ago
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Bangtan in Bed: Kim Namjoon | NSFW
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Kim Namjoon: The Dom Daddy 😈 - HAPPY JOONIE DAY!! 210912
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Rating: 18+
Contains: Daddy/Baby Kink Dynamic, Dirty Talk, BDSM, Bondage, Orgasm control, Sensory play, Dom/Sub Dynamic, Marking, Impact play, Lingerie, Stripteases, Anal, Cum play, Cream pies, Oral Fixation (kissing)
A/N: I ended up accidentally switching from third person (them/they) to second person (you) halfway through. i'm sorry about that, i wrote this in two different sittings and i forgot i was originally writing in third person.
Series Masterlist
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⇣Below cut⇣
Daddy kink!
We have all sensed it. Man's got a daddy kink! So, let me kindly introduce you to Daddy Dom Kim Namjoon.
If his never-ending flow of "Baby's" while in front of a camera didn't hint at his interest in pet names as a kink, especially the "Daddy" and "BabyGirl/BabyBoy/Baby" dynamic, then IDK what will.
Like mans got an IQ of 148, he knows by now that we are practically dripping at his little "baby" coos!...He does it for a reason
Which also makes a good case for his love of dirty talk!
He picks up languages pretty well and he has said himself that he wanted to be a poet once upon a time. He is an amazing lyricist.
He is good with his words, and he knows it! He also has that deep sexy voice of his that I'm also pretty sure he's quite aware of by now so a chance to make his partner melt with those very same words of his. he isn't going to think twice about using them.
Joon is kinky, but he is like Jin. He isn't really one to parade around his gifts in the bedroom. He would rather keep those times sacred.
I see Joon having an interest in the BDSM scene. Collars, Restraints, Blindfolds, Rope, Lingerie, Stockings, Fishnets.
With him also dabbling in the BDSM arts it's not a surprise that Joon seems like the type to need a strong level of trust. He needs to trust his partner and for his partner to trust him.
So, I don't see Joon really doing one-night stands. Casual maybe. But not quick hookups.
Lingerie! He loves a good strip show and lap dance.
Seeing his partner being the one to take control over him every once in and while was thrilling to him.
Them dressed in pretty little lace lingerie with stockings and a collar that had diamond letters spelling out their given pet name he assigned to them.
Him seated but not restrained, told not to move, for daddy to be good for his precious baby.
Them bending forward, pressing one hand to the back of the chair, and the other gripping the chair between his legs being careful to not touch him only getting close.
They would lean in getting only an inch from his face, eyes flicking from up and down looking from his lips to his eyes before leaning in even closer hovering over those very same lips teasing a kiss then leaning back watching as he chases after them pleating.
They would stand up hitching their leg up to rest on his thigh in a pointed fashion before slowing leaning down and unbuttoning the clasps, giving him an innocent look, then hooking their thumbs in the thigh-high pastel hose before rolling them down and pulling them off.
Standing up and wrapping the hose around both their hands like a strand of rope circling him watching as he shifts in his chair being the one told to behave this time around.
They would circle his chair once then almost twice before settling behind him leaning down close to his ear pressing one single kiss under his ear before lightly running their teeth across the cartridge nibbling then running their tongue across sucking at the length of his ear sweetly. Followed by blowing cold air eliciting a shiver from him.
They would then use the hose to tie back his hands making sure he can't touch them now even if he wanted to.
Only dishing out the same treatment he has given to on so many occasions
Fair is fair after all.
A tease for a tease.
A denied finish for a denied finish.
A bite for a bite.
A hickie for a hickie.
In reason obviously, you don't want to make the job too difficult for the stylist noonas.
But if you were really playing fair he would cover, under every piece of concealed flesh hidden under his clothing would be adorned in marks just like he has done many times before to you.
Joon tends to have a possessive streak in the bedroom, you are his baby.
But with that possessiveness comes the need for secrecy and devotion to the other, so he tends to hide his markings he leaves from other eyes. He's careful.
Methodical with his placements.
Under the waistband of your jeans, on you inner inner thighs during winter, little bruises left behind from his hands, and little crevice indents from his nails breaking the skin.
Hand prints left, sore swollen bruised skin. A reminder every time you sit down.
He loves to watch you squirm the following days after a particular heated night. It's cute.
Speaking of spankings. He loves giving them.
Having his baby bent over ass up bare whimpering under him.
He adores all form of impact play but his favorite is just using his hand. Feeling his baby red and flush.
Plus he gets to kneed at your pretty pink peach after wards so it's a win win in his mind.
"Oppa hit me harder, i like it" (Joon's verse in ProMeTheUs)
He's an Ass man through and through!
Everything involving your ass.
Watching it giggle when he's giving you backshots.
Cumming on your ass
In your ass (w/ condom).
Oh, he loves anal! Fingering you or even using toys. But his favorite obviously is fucking your pretty pink hole.
Sometimes he'll get daring and fuck you raw.
Cumming in your ass then pulling out to just watch it slowly leak out, running down your thighs, and pulling in the mattress. And if he's lucky, pooling with your own.
Fuck! He really can't get enough of that perky little ass.
Its a shame he can't always treat himself with you all the time. He loses himself to easily, just spiraling into a mess of grunts, growls, and groans.
When fucking you like that he doesn't sadly get to indulge into his other guilty pleasures that involve you and that beautiful body of yours.
Instead, of himself shaking and losing himself he changes his focus on to you.
Whining for your own release, begging for him to fuck you, to push you till you can't take no more.
Squirming. Hands and legs tied away. Out of use. Spread and open for him.
Only letting you cum when he knows you are at your worst then letting that growing tension snap plunging you into your release.
Occasionally he will add some ear muffs, blind folds, and/or a cherry flavored lollypop to the mix. Dialing your senses to 10.
Telling you to suck on the lolly until it's gone or blow a bubble with some bubble gum.
He would kiss you after, tasting just how sweet you can be.
Which I think this is a good time for me to mention Joon has an oral fixation for your lips. He loves kissing you.
Foreplay and aftercare are never skipped and always littered with kisses.
Soft pecks to lingering kisses & lip bites. Leaving your lips and red and swollen as your cheeks.
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NEXT UPDATE: Seokjin! - 210919 (12:00 am EST/EDT)
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