I been struggling to just let shit go. At least, I realize that I struggle to "just let shit go". I hold on too tightly. Gotta lotta old hurts & wounds coming back up. Gained some fresh, nu ones recently. Been being called to let that shit go. Sit it all down, fr. It's burdening Me. I'm trying My hardest.. I gotta release. Gotta go back to My roots... back to My old spiritual upkeep/healing practices. I haven't just burned and released since I had this un-Godly interaction with a "Christian" man. Def wasn't TMH's representative.. def a narcissistic experience with an energy vampire. It left a painful imprint on My Heart, adding on to the existing "paw prints" 🐾 on My Heart. Things are piling up and been keeping Me feeling stuck in the mud. I gotta start digging deep again... into My roots. "Shadow work". I subconsciously been avoiding it, which ain't like Me usually. I call this vibe that I get into, during shadow work, My "Emo" energy or when I'm feeling "goth" (and now I'm hearing "inner teen"). It's time for some extra, tender Love & care (Thank You Most High ❤️🩹). It's time for more healing. I sit still enough, I can feel & hear what wounds still ache. It's time to explore those shadowy, neglected parts of Myself and shed Light. Next level. Thank You, Most High Abba, for always shinning Light in the darkness. Before there was Light, there was You, still. Thank You, Most High God, for being right beside us even in the dark. Thank You for never leaving us there. For it is deep, underground in the dark, where a seed starts germinating.
♟️Yin energy: ACTIVATED ♟️
I used to be scared of the dark… I can't keep letting fear hold Me back.
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It's been a minute since I been makin' music lately. Free-stylin', really. It's a form of meditation and prayer for Me. Everything I say comes off the dome, fr. I be channeling from My Heart Space/Higher Self. Realizing, I probably feel unsupported because I keep pushing Myself too hard. I'm way too hard on Myself, there were many times while free-styling I was discouraged and didn't wanna keep doing it because "I don't like the way I sound". I was discouraging ME. Been pushing Myself to meet a standard that ain't even My own. That- tbh- idek wtf it is!!! Just that the pressure of "blowing up", "making money", & "being successful" is on Me and My ART! My BABY! I feel pressured to have My gifts and talents make Me money! I'm not taking the power unto Myself by supporting & HONORING My NATURAL PACE & PATH. I really wanna be something great and don't nothing come to a dreamer, but a dream, so I'm tryna work. I know I'll get there. However, I'm burnt out. To the point I been OVERsleeping. My physical body tryna keep up with all the energetic changes happening in My Life, as is. Growing up ain't easy. I gotta slow down and take My time. Honor My own speed without rushing Myself to "go faster" or scolding Myself for being "too slow".
This is a SKILL, a nu one at that. Things don't happen over night. I've only been free-styling a year & not even as consistently as I COULD or SHOULD be. I don't create music and freestyle to BECOME anything. I really started this to have fun & be able to join in on the freestyle sessions of the previous social circle I was in. I wanted to be confident. I Love music. It's ended up becoming something wayyy greater.. wayyy more healing than I ever intended for it to be. I used to make music with a friend girl in middle school. I fell off for some years (which is the sad case with a lot of My hidden talents, but I'm being led back). Do you know I NEVER thought I could freestyle? Younger Me would always shy away from it and be like: "oh na, I just write. I don't freestyle". I didn't freestyle bc I was scared… I’ve come to realize I didn’t & don't do a LOT of things because I’m scared. Things are changing #555. After a turbulent, painful chapter, I've come full circle to this gift with GREAT purpose and intention. Thank You to THEE Most High for simultaneously SAVING Me and BLESSING ME! I always say You "plucked" Me out of a terrible situation. Folks don’t realize how healing & JOYOUS it is hearing Myself free-styling like this-- making music PERIOD! It’s gratifying. It’s healing. Thank You Mama/Abba. I really do this for you, baby Kenzie. Nobody else (but the Lord). Sharing My gifts cuz I'm called to do so. I hope you enjoy this nu journey with Me!
An amazing thing happened when the Great Migration took freed slaves and their descendants into the urban areas of the North and Midwest. They took their music with them and married it with the big orchestration known as “Big Band” that was already emerging and boom! Jazz, Swing, and the Blues was born. Shuffle the foundations of modern R&B and Rock and Roll…truly an American creation…right here.