#roll ons

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Of the 19 hijackers who carried out the Sept 11 attacks:

15 were from Saudi Arabia (a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

2 were from the United Arab Emirates (also a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

1 was from Egypt, 1 from Lebanon.

None of the hijackers were from Iraq.

None of the Sept 11 hijackers were Iraqi.

None of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq.

#9/11 #serious post #not a shitpost #this should be one of the first things kids learn when they learn about the 9/11 attacks #politics #this is just...it's such an essential and brazen fact and i rarely see basic outrage over it #i want outrage. i want fury. i want disgust over the way fundamental facts are disguised and discarded and downplayed #because there are things we should KNOW. basic fact we should ALL KNOW. and they are tucked away in the footnotes. #and no this is NOT to put the blame on other middle eastern countries #we know this was carried out by a specific terrorist organization not a national government #but King George the Second decided (and was encouraged by his cabinet!) to invade a nation! #a nation that was not at all related or responsible!!! #a dictatorship to be sure--but a dictatorship that King George the First had been happy to support #so what changed? why did we go in guns blazing to DEMOLISH a country *we had NO PLANS OF REPAIRING*??? #well. because they wanted a villain didn't they. a nice clean war. clarity of purpose. us the heroes against them the villains #and when you're in that mindframe--truth is irrelevant. you can pick your villain (your victim) by rolling a roulette wheel #truth is irrelevant #worse: to the people in charge #truth is a HINDRANCE #'Alternative facts' existed long before it became a catchphrase #facts don't matter. truth doesn't matter. the impulses of a handful of volatile & rich & power-high people--that's History. congratulations

[destinationtoast]

My grandmother is Japanese and really likes to give gifts. Often those gifts are Japanese desserts or other food, but sometimes she just slips me cash, folded up inside a tiny, beautiful envelope. But she likes to pretend she's not giving me money, so when possible, she'll hide it somewhere that I will find later.

Today I spent the afternoon with her doing chores and tech support, and she clearly felt this warranted a significant gift in return (no matter that I enjoyed myself). But she forgot to slip something into my pocket or bag before I left, so instead she rushed outside as I was starting my car, making the old-school "roll down the window" gesture. Once I complied, she was forced to acknowledge she was handing me money, but she also tried to minimize the gesture.

The result was that she said, "Thank you, dear! I just wanted you to be able to... to buy yourself a hamburger," and then handed me a darling little envelope that turned out to contain $100. And all I could think was:

#we live in california and even here that's a lot of hamburger #do kids these days still know the old signal for #roll down the window #? #do they still use it? #it does have the advantage of being distinctive #in a way that holding down an imaginary button does not #toasty life #the value of a hamburger #memes #it's one banana michael #op #50 #100 #500 #1K #5K #10K

[frownyalfred]

Imagine being Alfred during Batman Begins when Bruce leaves to “find himself.” Alfred is worried, but reminds himself that all rich men do this and he’s probably just going to come back as a worldly, obnoxious vegetarian. Then Bruce shows up several years later buff as hell and it’s like no, he’s a ninja. he’s a ninja and he wants to terrorize Gotham in a bat costume.

#late night thoughts #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batman begins #alfred pennyworth #the man has been rolling with the punches since day one at wayne manor

[onesidedradiostatic]

stayed gone but you're the sinners watching/listening

(AKA I spend an unnecessary amount of time editing)

#osrs.mp4 #screen positions in the beginning are accurate to the transitions btw cause you can see specifically which screen it is in the transitions #also it starts at the news broadcast because NO ONE heard vox's intro. cameras weren't rolling yet #hardest part was trying to figure out how to do the alastor parts LMAO #guess vox can look like he's struggling against nothing and screaming at a radio why not #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #vox hazbin #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #radiostatic #staticradio #onewaybroadcast #I know it's just stayed gone but who in these tags wouldn't want to see stayed gone right #hazbin hotel

[infiniteorangethethird]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

#man february arrived and im on a roll with these posts #thought to myself 'tumblr could use more loveless-posting' #decided if no one's gonna do it im just gonna do it myself #also this isn't directed at anyone specific im just being salty at random #loveless #loveless aromantic #loveless aro #aromantic #aro #arospec #loveless apl #loveless aplatonic #aplatonic #aplspec #lgbtq #queer stuff

[rukafais]

so i just learned that people fucking dove inside a god damn iceberg and good to know that even for cave divers, who in my opinion are already a special kind of unhinged, and i say that with all affection, there are people even more unhinged than that

#like i just. what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck. #this is like three primordial fears all rolled into one

[shaniacsboogara]

liking dnd is so funny because yeah you play the actual game sometimes but mostly you just think about the game and watch other people play the game and slowly go insane thinking about how much you wish you could play the game and hoping that buying more shiny rocks will fix everything

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #not going through something rn wdym haha... #i am FINE i have DEFINITELY played at least once in the last seven weeks #i am also definitely not the scheduling person in my group i am not stressed that no one has time for dnd apparently #i'm fine i just started another critical role campaign im fine im so stable #*screaming* #it provides seratonin but WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO BE HAPPY TO ROLL MY LITTLE DICE FUCK #it's okay i just need to buy more dice #that will fix me

[camembri]

you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.

#need a fic where zoro genuinely does marry sanji on wci without planning it #type of thing to happen to goofy pre ts zoro #zoro in the same mindset in which he created the usopp sword: well i didn't mean to but i guess this solves the immediate problem #and ofc he just rolls with it #they look at each other after the dust settles like. hey wtf was that. and immediately blame each other #pre relationship AND feelings realisation on both sides #dont get me wrong i love fake relationship that becomes real but hear me out #legal accidental relationship thats extremely convenient and also funny until you pavlov yourself into being in love #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan #one piece #sanzo #zoro

[araneapeixes]

Not gonna be able to get back to this for the next week or so but I wanted to share so wips :))

#I CANT STOP DRAWING THEM IN BARS AND CLUBS?? lmao #anyways the point of this one is that they both want to fuck shadowheart. and so they shall #im on such a roll with this modern au stuff and its the first time in a while that im genuinely kinda drawign the same thing #over and over again and it feels so good? lmao #this is gonna be my niche i think #bg3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 modern au #shadowheart #karlach #karlach cliffgate #lae'zel #shadowzel #shadowlach #wip #sketch

[coolcritter83]

another one... based off this

#ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #shitpost #objection.lol #im on a roll #klapollo #sort of #just realized i wrote one instead of dick. whatever... you get the vision

[phoenixkaptain]

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

#luke skywalker #star wars #anakin skywalker #sheev palpatine #darth sidious #original trilogy #the inane ramblings of a madman #listen i recognize that other people are important in the plot of sw #but at the same time #luke is the marble that gets things rolling #just in general #luke is the reason obi wan eventually actually kills maul #luke somehow gave yoda hope that another generation of jedi was an achievable goal #luke saved leia from being executed #luke is the sun of the series #it’s from him that literally everything grows #the story that began this universe #is one of a boy becoming an adult #and so without luke skywalker #none of the characters would exist #thus luke is the sun and we should all bask in the rays #but also in how funny it is #that this guy was more of a pain than obi wan kenobi #a feat previously thought impossible #long post

[kalofi]

law is something of a woman to me

#gender fuckery who gaf bro #art #one piece #op #perona #trafalgar law #roronoa zoro #i guess. to get the joke rolling #perolaw #i think das da ship name… my snookums

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents. #and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention. #kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust! #bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

[dragonroilz]

#ultrakill #mecha #ultrakill gabriel #gabriel #v1 #v1 ultrakill #okay guys hear me out #i know gabriel is the gay one but what if v1 was also kind of fruity #mf has to EARN gabriels trust #alternatively this is just a rlly high deception roll and v1 just railcoins him while hes distracted #my art

[hoshizoralone]

samus and her funny bird family comix

#redrew all of these… samus’s appearance at 16 is based on the metroid manga obvs #i think they colored her clothes pink in one panel of that so i just rolled with it #metroid #samus aran #raven beak #i dont think old bird and gray voice have tags . #loneart #hall of fame

[kiwanopie]

Sakusa just looks like he falls asleep with his big ass hand on ur tit. It’s not even sexual at this point he just does it cause he can. As soon as he scoots in behind you to get himself comfortable the first thing he does is slide his hand up ur shirt and grabs a handful before belting himself to your back and clocking out a second later. And it’s not even limited to the bedroom, sometimes he’ll just be on the phone and see you standing in the kitchen making a snack and you’ll just feel the bottom of your shirt lift a little before his fingers are dipping under the cup of ur bra. The guy isn’t even necessarily a tit man, he just does it because you’re his

#he’s literally scolding Atsumu over the phone for not taking anything seriously while rolling your nipple between his fingers??? #he acts like it’s completely normal like bro im not a stress toy #pls don’t sit on his lap while u tell him about your day he’s already lifting ur shirt and popping one in his mouth like what is ur problem #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #hq sakusa #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa fluff #sakusa smut #k/kiyoomi slander #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader