chaotic
.robert pattinson x fem!reader.
.summary: who knew how chaotic both Robert and y/n holland, could possibly be.
.warning: just y/n and Robert being chaotic: hints towards sexual activity:
"Welcome, to our humble abode." (Y/n) said, as she opened the door letting the camera crew in, a goofy grin plastered on her face. As she adjusted the Burger King crown on her head.
The camera followed her through the house, as they entered the living room, the camera panned around the open space. "This is my book collection," She says, gesturing towards the bookshelf. Revealing, that it's only shelled with Twilight Breaking Dawn.
"And, yes." She says, leaning against the shelf. "I've read every single one." She says, biting her lip making a weird face. The cameraman stifles a laugh, as the tour continued.
Turned back towards the camera, as they entered the kitchen. "Here, in the kitchen." She says, smiling walking in front of the sink. "Where we eat," She says, taking a sip of water.
"Or, where Robert eats m-"
"Sssh, don't listen to her," Robert says as he enters the room. "Hey, I'm the queen!" She says as she points towards the crown on her head. He smiles and walks towards her, and takes the crown off her head.
"Not anymore," He says, placing it on his head. "Hmph." She pouts, folding her arms across her chest, then opens the cabinets. Revealing, to be filled to the brim with Burger King crowns.
"Sorry, forgot you were here." She says, pursing her lips into a smile. The camera followed the seemingly chaotic couple, "And, this is the bathroom." She says, opening what she thought was the bathroom door.
Only for it to be a shrine, dedicated to Chuckesmee. A picture of the monstrous animatronics from, Breaking Dawn before being scrapped for a CGI baby in the middle of the shrine. Fake candles lit the closet up, tiny pictures, pins, and other things. Scattered around the shrine, including a copy of Breaking Down as well.
Immediately closing the closet, she turned back towards the camera. "Damn, Rob I thought you got rid of that?" She joked, and he scoffed. "Haha," He exclaimed, as they continued the tour.
"It's hers," He whispered, towards the camera. "Heard that!" She exclaimed, turning her head back towards her boyfriend. They arrive at the office, "This is the office we share." He said the camera is pointed at the office.
One side has the usual things you'd find in an office, a desk, shelf, computer, and other things. But the other had a cardboard cutout of, Edward and beside him, a cutout of Chuckesmee. Twilight memorabilia plastered on the wall, on the ground a blanket of Chuckesmee could be seen.
"You have an obsession," Robert says, to her and she turns towards him, "So do you, with Hot Dogs." She says, looking at him.
"Okay, here's the bathroom." He said, opening the door, and turning on the lights. He chuckles softly seeing the shower curtains, that were covered in Chuckesmee's face.
"As you can see," She says, as she places her hand on Rob's shoulders, "He has an obsession," She said, and he lets out a scoff.
"Says the one who begged me to-"
"Sssh." She exclaimed, patting him on the head. "We, know you have an obsession with Chuckesmee okay." She said, making a goofy face.
"Rhaklsfkk," She said, and everyone looked at her for a moment, at her sudden outburst. "Oh, one day while this one was out he forgot his keys." She said, turning towards the camera, "A-And, so he was locked out. I was fast asleep so didn't hear his calls. And guess what he did?" She said, giggling.
"He climbed through our window to get in," She chuckled, a sigh escaped Roberts's lips, "O-Oh, also he-"
Robert placed a hand over her mouth. All that could be heard was muffled talk, "Sorry, about this chaotic house tour," He said, looking at the camera.
(Y/n) gripped his hand and pulled it down, "Oh he also broke the be-" He covered her mouth again, knowing what she was about to say. "Sssh, the kings talking." He says, jokingly.
"Now you know what goes on behind the scenes, and it's pretty chaotic." He joked, as (Y/n) rambled on a smile on both their faces. "But most relationships can be so-"
"Did you just lick my hand," He said, looking down at her and she looked away, The cameraman, just kept the camera focused on them. "Alright, I gotta go deal with her, see ya nighttime." He said, looking at the camera.
Once the camera people left. Both Robert and Y/n were in the kitchen, "You're chaotic." He says, looking at her and she turned to look at him, "I know," She grinned. Pulling him into a passionate kiss.
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I am having a GREAT time reading one star reviews for the batman. Complaints include:
Reviewer didn't understand why catwoman "cared so much about that roommate girl" (i guess the sapphic relationship wasn't picked up on? Funny either way because it implies she should be fine with her friend/roommate getting murked because they weren't sleeping together)
Reviewer furious that batman was "awkward and pale and muscular in a weird way" which is a HILARIOUS phrasing of "but hes not conventionally male gaze hero fantasy hot so i hate the movie"
Reviewer flat out misunderstood the plot and is rating a movie that does not exist
Reviewer has their head in the sand about the real world and therefore thinks several realistic elements were "too fake" (ie the online conspiracy forums turning to real life violence, political/wealth/police corruption, the fact that people would flock to an ill-prepared shelter in the event of natural disaster)
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