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danurso · 5 months

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NWN Challenge

*At a nice bar in Atlas*

Ruby: You’re still dealing with the fallout of that mess?

Blake: Of course. As the head of the white fang I can't just clean up a mess and ignore what caused it and who was affected by it…..*sigh* The last thing I want is people thinking we’re slipping back into what we used to be years back.

Yang: Good thing your pops is really good at de-escalating, well that and Weiss’ PR team.

Blake: Yeah. Where is her by the way? I wanted to thank her personally for all the help.

Ruby: She said she was coming, something came up during work.

Yang: Or someone. If Jaune went to visit she might be an hour or so late.

Blake: That. . . . . . probably isn't the case.

Yang: Why?

Blake: *nods* Because she doesn't look like she just had a good time.

The trio then turned to see a familiar heiress coming in, looking like she was about to murder someone.

Weiss: *sits down on the table*

Bartender: What will it be mi-

Weiss: Vodka. Pure. And make it a triple.

Yang: Yeesh. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Ruby: What happened?

Blake: Who did you kill?

Weiss: He's not dead, the doctors said just broke a few bones.

R_BY: . . . . . . . .

Weiss: . . . .what?

Blake: . . . . .i was joking.

Weiss: Oh. . . .right. . . . .

Ruby: Wait, wait, you tried to kill someone!?

Weiss: I didn't! I just exaggerated a bit while dealing with a jerk.

Yang: What happened?

Weiss: . . . . .*sigh* I was venting to Winter about some private things about Jaune, as soon as she left an associate came in, he must've heard something about what we're talking, because as soon as we were done talking business he tried asking me out.

Yang: Doesn't everyone at the company know you just married?

Weiss: They do and he knew about it. But he insisted saying we could do something “fun” and that he could “Give me what i needed” since my husband wasn't doing so.

Ruby: Oh gods. . . . . .

Yang: Hah!

Blake: Like, I understand why that made you angry, but did you have to send the guy to the hospital?

Weiss: Not really, but i’ve been having a really stressful week and even after i said no multiple times, he kept pushing, and the moment he got too close i catapulted him out of the room with a glyph, though because of everything i miscalculated and sent him through a wall instead of the door.

Yang: *laughs* Please send me the video whenever you can! I wanna see that.

Ruby: Well, jerk aside, is everything okay? You sound like there's been stress even before that.

Bartender: Here miss. *Puts down her drink*

Weiss: Thanks.

Blake: Is everything okay at home? You said you were venting about Jaune, is everything okay between you two?

Weiss: No! The last three weeks been awful! HE has been awful!

Blake: Wait what?

Yang: Wow, That's a surprise.

Ruby: But why? What's wrong with Jaune?

Weiss: He’s been the worst! I keep having to deal with issues at the company! Cleaning the mess my father made! And then, after an awful day of work, what am I greeted with!?

Yang: A blown up house?

Blake: Another woman?

Ruby: Jaune wouldn't do that blake! Geez. . . . .Oh! Was it maybe a dead body?

Weiss: No! As soon as I come in he greets me with that stupid! Bright! And warm smile! He hugs me tight goes on about missing me soooo much! He covers me in kisses! Takes me in to show the warm bath he prepared for me! The house which is basically spotless and the dinner which was my favorite! Aaaarggh! Just thinking about it makes my blood boil! *Chugs the drink*

Ruby: . . . . . . . .

Yang: . . . . . . . .

Blake: . . . . . . . . . .that's it?

Weiss: Oh no. No no no, it gets worse. After dinner he brings me a whole cheesecake! Freshly made! And after we ate he took me to the living room and massaged every corner of my stressed body! I felt like I was melting! Oh gods the nerve of that man!!!

Yang: Wow, sounds like a nightmare.

Weiss: I know! Because it is!

Blake: *deadpan* Is it though?

Ruby: Err, Weiss? Are you sure there's a problem there? Because you make it sound like he's doing something bad but apparently he's been really sweet to you.

Weiss: I know! And it's unbearable!

Ruby: But why?

Weiss: BECAUSE IT'S NOVEMBER RUBY!!!

R_BY: Ohhhh. . . . .

Blake: He’s doing that dumb challenge too? I thought it was just Sun.

Ruby: *sigh* Nah, Oscar was doing it too.

Yang: Sounds like a headache. Lucky me and Arslan don't struggle with that stuff.

Blake: Yes, because she's not a guy, they tend to be incredibly stubborn about the stupidest things. Well, as stubborn as you can be with someone who knows all your weaknesses.

Ruby: Got him to give up?

Blake: Around a week in, would’ve been sooner if i wasn't busy with the fang. Oscar giving you trouble?

Ruby: Nope. He went for ten days straight, then he walked in on me coming out of the shower and he snapped. *Chuckles* I wasn't even trying to make him lose.

Weiss: *eyebrow twitching* Good to know I'm the only one suffering here.

Yang: Come on ice cream. You know that guy is basically addicted to you, if you give him a push in the right direction I'm pretty sure he’ll just crumble.

Weiss: And you think I haven't tried!? Skimpy swimsuits, Lingeries, Nudes throughout the day, dirty comments, cosplaying his favorite characters, offering to do the most questionable things! I used every last trick in the book and he STILL didn't cave in!

Yang: Oh, wow.

Blake: I knew he had a strong will but this is still surprising to hear.

Weiss: It's so frustrating! I get to come back home every day to the most wonderful husband in the world, who pampers and looks after me, doing everything I wish and making me the happiest woman in Remnant! And you tell me I can't ride him to oblivion after all that!? It's unfair!!! Utter Injustice!!! I wished I knew who came up with this challenge so I could strangle them until they're blue!!!

Yang: *chuckles* I can't tell if you're angrier at not getting laid for three weeks now or at him for not falling for your charms.

Weiss: BOTH!!!

Ruby: I mean, you said you tried everything but it doesn't sound like it.

Weiss: I did Ruby. I most certainly did! And wore basically anything you could imagine, I went as far as to wear things that, if images were leaked online, my life would be ruined and Blake would never talk to me again.

Yang: . . . . . . .you wore a-

Blake: *covers her mouth* Please don't, I’d rather our friendship still exist by the end of the night. For once in my life i do NOT wanna know.

Yang: *pushes her out* Wow. You really pulled all the stops.

Weiss: And it did nothing to him!!! *Depressed sigh*

Ruby: I mean, so far it sounds like all you did was dress up and act sexy to try and make him cave in.

Weiss: What else was I supposed to do!?

Ruby: Did you forget who you're married to? It's pretty easy to get him to bend and do what you want once you pin his weakness down.

Weiss: . . . . . .that sounded very wrong, especially being about my husband.

Ruby: What? I never abused that weakness mind you! He's my best friend, I could never!

Yang: Unless he has your favorite cookies.

Ruby: *pink* That's different!

Weiss: Spit it out already!

Ruby: *sigh* . . . . .fine. but he ever asks, you didn't learn this from me.

Weiss: *walks in* I’m home.

Jaune: *wearing pajamas* Hey, how was your night? *Hugs her* Everyone doing well?

Weiss: Yeah. *Kisses him* Everyone is doing well.

Jaune: I left some food for you in the microwave, wasn’t sure if you would eat out so i made something.

Weiss: It's fine, we got something to eat on the way back.

Jaune: I’ll pack it up for tomorrow then. *Walking to the kitchen* By the way, Whitley called. He said something about a guy you sent to the hospital. Is everything okay at work?

Weiss: Yeah, someone tried hitting on me earlier, and I accidentally used too much force to push him off when he tried to get too close.

Jaune: *storing the food* Ouch. Almost makes me feel bad for him. . . . .almost. *feels a pair of arms wrapping around his torso from behind.* . . . . . .Weiss?

Weiss: *inhale* . . . . . .*deep exhale*

Jaune: *serious* Weiss. . . . .that guy didn't hurt you, did he?

Weiss: *chuckles* Good to know my knight is still there to protect me if I ever need, I thought he ended up buried under my cute husband.

Jaune: Weiss-

Weiss: He did nothing, just a few sweet words which I already forgot. I just wanted to hug you.

Jaune: If you say so, then I believe you. What do you wanna do now?

Weiss: Bed. I’m tired, could you come with me though?

Jaune didn't answer, he only turned around and picked her up in his arms, making her chuckle in response, he took her to the bedroom and helped her out of her clothes and into her nightgown, and soon enough, they were both in bed cuddling.

Weiss: *Chuckling*

Jaune: What’s so funny?

Weiss: Nothing. I’m just happy.

Jaune: That's good to hear. You seemed a little stressed these last few days.

Weiss: Yeah. . . .but I'm fine now. In fact, I couldn't be happier.

Jaune: Really?

Weiss: Of course. *Hugs him closer* I’ve got a nice house, a good job, great friends and above all else *Looks up to him* the most wonderful husband in the world.

Jaune: *pink, scratching his cheek* Hehehe, I’m just doing what I can. It's not a big deal.

Weiss: It is for me. . . .for someone who grew up in a cold house, surrounded by people I couldn't trust, having someone that I can trust and love this much is everything.

Jaune: Weiss. . . . .

Weiss: You never ignore me, you always know when I'm not okay, you look after my every need, you go above and beyond to make me happy, and you know me even better than I do myself. I must've been a saint in a past life to be blessed with someone so wonderful as you are. I wanna stay like this and hold on to you for the rest of my life. *Angelic smile* Thank you for marrying me, my love.

Jaune: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jaune: *naked on the bed and spooning her* God damnit. . . . .

Weiss: *sweaty and giggling*

Jaune: I can't believe I fell for that.

Weiss: Fell for what~? I was being honest, you know?

Jaune: I know! And that makes it even more of a dirty move!

Weiss: My heart bleeds for you.

Jaune: *groan* I was just a week away. I resisted everything you threw at me and this is how I lost?

Weiss: Yep. I thought there was no way out until a certain someone reminded me how weak you are to someone being genuinely emotional with you.

Jaune: It was Ruby wasn't it? Every time i have her favorite cookies she'll go on this emotional speech about how much it matters to her that i’m her best friend and all we went through, and when i realize i already gave her the cookies.

Weiss: I won't confirm nor deny anything.

Jaune: Ugh, figures.

Weiss: *turns to him* Oh please, you say it as if you didn't like it.

Jaune: Of course I did, I've been craving you for weeks.

Weiss: Good to hear, I felt the same.

Jaune: Just don't do that next year or I'm telling Blake about your secret costumes.

Weiss: You’re doing that again next year!?

Jaune: *chuckles* That's your main concern?

Weiss: Of course I am! These last three weeks have been hell!

Jaune: If that's the case. . . .*on top of her* Then let me take you to paradise.

Weiss: *pink* That wasn't enough for you?

Jaune: Nowhere near enough to make up for these three weeks. You gotta work Tomorrow?

Weiss: Not really, they have to fix the wall in my office so. . . . .

Jaune: Good. You won't have to make up an excuse then. Might need one for after tomorrow though.

Weiss: *red* . . . . . . .I’m in danger aren't i?

Jaune: The plan was to win the challenge and slowly ease back into routine. You tricked me into losing so now I’m giving you what you want, all of it.

Weiss: *redder* C-can we talk about this for a mome-AAHHHH~!?!?

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #jaune x weiss #rwby jaune #rwby jaune arc #rwby weiss #rwby weiss schnee #rwby jaune x weiss #whiteknight #rwby white knight #white knight #rwby whiteknight #yang xiao long #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #rwby yang xiao long #blake belladona #rwby blake belladonna

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reashot · 29 days

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Weiss Vs. Bleiss.

The Battle for the Future of the Arc's Booty.

Bleiss: Jaune is Mine Ice Bitch!

*thrust*

Weiss: He loves me first!

*swing*

Bleiss: You rejected him!

*riposte*

Weiss: Better him being with me than with you!

*flurry*

Bleiss: You! I hate you!!!

*clash*

Weiss: Well I never like you! You're not my sister. I wish you were never been born!

Bleiss: AHHHH!!!!!!

Jaune: *being tied up in a chair*

Please girls stop it. You're both sisters. You both should love each others... Eh?

Ruby: He, he, he, he, he... 😁

When the cats are fighting the Woofy comes and swipes away the cute hunk blonde.

Jess: And don't forget the cute Latina sheep...

Jaune: Ruby? Jess?

What the two of you doing here?

Ruby: You couldn't tell? 😏

And I thought you're the smart one.

Jess: We're going to take you away from here...

Jaune: Oh thank you. Maybe they would stop fighting if they notices I'm missing...

Wait why am I still tied up?

Jess: Because Jaune. We want you all for ourselves.

Jaune: ?!

Ruby: You see Jaune, me and Jess have comes to an agreement. ☺

We think we would stand a better chance if we join forces together.

Jess: As they said. Two heads are better than one...

Ruby: And because two gives better heads than one. 😈

Jaune: *shocked realization* No please!

Ruby. Jess! You don't have to do this.

Jess: *giggle* too late Jaune.

Ruby: You are so going to get so much loving from us you will forgive us in the morning. 😋

Jaune: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*being carried to who knows where*

If this gets 100 likes I will continue this with a JaunexRubyxJess (sorta) smut.

If it gets 200 likes. I will add Bleiss & Weiss. And as bonus the two of them making up with each other.

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juanarc-thethird · 4 months

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How To Get Your Man

Jaune is having Team RWBY meet his family. While the others introduce themselves normally Yang introduces herself as Jaune's girlfriend and future wife.

How To Get Your Man 8

Outside the Arc's residency

Jaune: We're here. Ready to meet my family?

The four girls respond with a big "Yeah"

Jaune: Cool... Here we go.

*Knock Knock*

In the distance they can hear someone approaching from the other side

Mama Arc: Just a moment

After that sentence, the door opened, showing a blonde woman with blue eyes and light skin. She was dressed in jeans, a typical mother's blouse, and an apron. It looks like she was cooking. But what caught everyone's attention is that she was very tall and her figure is well toned. You can tell she saw some action in her youth.

Mama: Oh my little bunny, you're finally here.

Ruby: *Giggles* "Little bunny"

Jaune: Ruby, shut it.

Mama Arc: So these are your friends. When you told me that several of your friends would arrive, I thought it would be like 3 people, I didn't imagine this amount.

Jaune: Sorry.

Mama Arc: But enough talk, I haven't introduced myself yet. From what you've already seen, I'm Jaune's mom. Mrs. Arc. And you girls are…

Ruby: I'm Ruby, Jaune's best friend.

Mama Arc: How nice.

Weiss: Nice to meet you ma'am, I'm Weiss. Another friend of Jaune.

Mama Arc: Oh~ What a polite girl.

Blake: I'm Blake, another friend of his from school.

Mama Arc: I see.

Yang: And I am Yang, Jaune's girlfriend and your future daughter-in-law

Mama Arc: *Froze* "My-" what?

Jaune: Yang! I told you not to do that! Don't listen to her mom, she's just joking.

Yang: What are you taking about? Of course I'm serious about this, about you. And to be honest, mother-in-law, I'm a big fan of your work. *She looks Jaune up and down* He's very tasty ~💕

Jaune: *Red* YANG!!

Yang: What? It's the truth. Besides I know Mama Arc would love to have me as her daughter-in-law. Right mom?

Mama Arc: *serious* Sorry, but you can't marry my son.

Yang/Jaune: *Surprise* Huh?!

Blake: Jaune, why are you surprise?

Jaune: *Blushing* I-Is nothing!

Yang: *Confuse* Why can't I marry him?!

Mama Arc: Because he is already engaged to another girl.

Yang/Jaune: *Shock* HUH?! WITH WHO?!

To be continue.....

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zexapher · 1 month

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A Fond Farewell

With Rooster Teeth beginning its draw down, an era has truly passed. The company has lasted more than two decades. 18 (soon 19) seasons, five mini-series, and cameos and references in Halo itself for Red vs Blue. 9 volumes alongside two movies, a chibi series, Ice Queendom, and its own games for RWBY. And so much more beyond that, RT Shorts, podcasts, Achievement Hunter, The Slow Mo Guys, and on and on. That’s a lot, especially for a little startup launching off a web series. I was listening to “This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You Later” by Richie Branson while I was making this little memorial post. It’s a song made for another Rooster Teeth show, Camp Camp, and I have to say it’s some very appropriate music for this moment.

The day the news dropped, I wrote up a little comment in response to Rooster Teeth beginning its closing down, and I thought I’d share some of it here. I grew up with Rooster Teeth, a bit of a cheesy line I know, but it’s true for a lot of us. I was just a little kid way back in the early 2000’s, a kid that liked Halo (a game I didn’t even own for a long time, but played at a friend’s house), and was just getting curious about what I could find about it on YouTube. And that brought me into the world of music videos and skits and montages made for that little game I liked.

From there, I discovered a small web series called Red vs. Blue. I’d sneak onto my folk’s computer to watch it since they didn’t appreciate the language, and in doing so I dipped my toes into the wide world of the internet for the first time. As I got older, I eventually hopped onto Reddit for its discussion threads of Rooster Teeth’s latest show, RWBY. I began my first in-depth fandom interactions, speculating about the show, enjoying the flood of fanart, even got into fanfics about RWBY (those fics have had their own amazing evolution alongside the show) and to this day it’s the fandom I’ve followed and bookmarked the most fics from. All the while I was making friends and bonding with people through the community this company and its shows have created.

Watching the shows and people grow over time was, looking back on it, just like watching myself grow. I was never really a social media/internet kind of guy, until it came to Rooster Teeth. The shows, shorts, podcasts, it all opened up a whole new world for me. It’s sad to see it coming to a close, and I hope it gets picked up in the future. But I’m happy, too, that it’s left so much behind, and had such an impact on me. It’s left me with so many good memories. Rooster Teeth, its shows, those that created and worked on it, and above all the community around it will always have a special place in my heart.

So, I bid a fond farewell to Rooster Teeth and its crew, and anyone who may drift away from the fandom in time. I wish you all the best.

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lwde-encrusted-sideblog · 4 months

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Ruby: Good morning Penny!

Yang: 'Morning Pen.

Penny: *Rubbing her jaw* Good Morning Rub.

Ruby: What happened? You alright?

Penny: Yes I am, I simply engaged in an ... Impromptu Mandibular Exercise last night.

Yang: *Sniff* Hew! You're breath stinks Penny.

Penny: Apologies! I haven't brushed my teeth yet!

Weiss: *Stumbling in, half naked, not noticing the sisters* Good morning Honey~ *Kiss, followed by giggles* Hm~ I can still Taste Jaune and I on your lips~

Weiss: *Walking into the kitchen* I'm just getting the two of us some water, but we'd love if you came back to bed after your breakfast~ PLease don't leave us waiting for too long~

R+Y:

Penny: *Blushing* ... I have not lied in any of my previous statements.

Penny: *Throat Clear* Now if you'll pardon me, I have someone- Something I need to do! *She begins shoveling food into her mouth*

#rwby #jaune arc #rwby shitpost #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #penny polendina #arculus rift #frostbyte #rwby frostbyte #whiteknight #rwby whiteknight #frostknyte #rwby frostknyte #ot3 #jaune x penny x weiss

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rachetmath · 2 months

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Emerald: Ruby? Weiss? May I talk to both of you for one minute?

Ruby: Emerald? You want to talk?

Emerald: Yes.

Weiss: With us?

Emerald: Yes. Do you both have the time or not?

Weiss: Um… sure.

Ruby: This is rare so I am curious about how this conversation will go.

Emerald: Okay, good. Now, if you don’t feel comfortable, we can drop this. Alright?

Ruby: Okay.

Weiss: Absolutely.

Emerald: Good. So… which one of you is going to give it up to Jaune?

Weiss: WHAT THE-

Ruby: WHEN DID WE GET TO THIS POINT?! WHEN?!

Emerald: I’m just saying. When are any of you going to give the man something for his efforts?

Weiss: There is no way this is happening. Especially not from you.

Ruby: *looks around*

Emerald: Ruby what are you doing?

Ruby: Checking for cameras and microphones at the very least. But mainly to see if Nora or Blake are hiding anywhere. This is something straight out of their book.

Emerald: Look, I’m just asking a simple question. Now Ruby I understand considering-

Ruby: No. Stop.

Emerald: I mean-

Ruby: Shut up.

Emerald: Fine. But you Weiss, I don’t understand.

Weiss: Alright look. I somewhat am impressed with Jaune, but I don’t like him like that. We’re just friends.

Ruby: Yeah and so are we!

Emerald: So after everything he’s done for both of you, you don’t think of him as anything other than a friend?

Ruby and Weiss: Yes.

Emerald: Even though he helps both of you. Saves both of you. And kept both your sisters alive.

Ruby: Um…

Weiss: I mean… yeah.

Emerald: Mhmm. Disappointing.

Ruby: Excuse me?

Emerald: I’m just saying I met no one besides Hazel and Mercury who would go that far for me. If I were you girls I try to keep that around.

Weiss: What are you trying to say?

Me: Cinder and Neo may have had a point. You two don’t deserve shit. Ungrateful bitches.

Weiss: Look, Emerald, Ruby and I care about Jaune. Plus, you make it sound like we don’t stand a chance now to get with him.

Emerald: Because you don’t. Especially when you had Jessica ahead of you both. And she’s not from this universe.

Ruby: How do you know about Jessica?

Emerald: Jaune told me and he didn’t skip the details.

Ruby: … … um…

Emerald: And he’s older now.

Weiss: But not as mature.

Emerald: How so? I mean, he cares about others. And he’s responsible. How does that not count as being mature?

Weiss: Well he yelled at Ruby.

Emerald: Did he have a reason?

Ruby: He was always angry and frustrated.

Emerald: Again did he have a reason?

Ruby and Weiss: Yes.

Emerald: Okay, look, if you girls don’t want him fine. Just don’t be mad when another woman decides to claim him.

Ruby: Pfft like who?

Emerald: I don’t know. Maybe just any girl willing to put up with him. Help him. And unlike Pyrrha would take any opportunity to seal the deal. Maybe Winter. Elm. Me. Harriet. Possibly any one better.

Ruby: Hold on what you say.

Emerald: I said what I said.

Weiss: Emerald, you are no older than us.

Emerald: I mean I can wait and if it doesn’t work out I’ll find someone new. But again… what about you Schnee cause I believe your chances are slim.

Weiss: What?

Emerald: Because you are basic.

Weiss: Basic? Oh, I will show you ‘basic’.

Ruby: No, Weiss. Calm down. No.

Weiss: Let me go, Ruby.

Emerald: Well I am going to take my leave. Later losers.

Weiss: I KILL YOU!!

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 1 year

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War of the Roses wedding day:

Jaune: *serves Weiss and Ruby a slice of cake*

Jaune: Bam cakes done. It's conquered.

Weiss: Not quite. Ready Ruby?

Ruby: Bombs away.

*Weiss and Ruby pick up their slices and mush it into Jaune's face*

Jaune: *smiling through the frosting*

Jaune: Really? Are you two serious? Grow up.

Weiss: *laughs* You would do the same to us. You told us you would.

Ruby: Your exact words were 'I think that would be adorable. Give me some of that.' So we planned on this. If we're going to get smeared we might as well deserve it. Don't you think?

Jaune: *picks up a slice in his hands* You're going to get exactly what you deserve. This is what's comin' to ya.

Jaune: Ruby... Come here won't you?

Ruby: *Giggles and twists away* No!

Jaune: You have to trust me. What's the matter? You don't trust me?

Ruby: Not at all. No! Stay away from me!

Jaune: Come here. Come on. You have to trust me. Remember your vows. You gotta. Come here sweetheart.

Weiss: *rolls her eyes and steps forward*

Weiss: I'll bite. Do not get any on my dress.

Jaune: *very delicately places the slice in her mouth*

Weiss: *licks frosting off her lips*

Weiss: You asshole. You're literally the worst.

Jaune: *picks up another slice*

Jaune: Come here Ruby. Nice and slow like.

Ruby: *shoots Weiss a glance but steps up*

Jaune: *puts most of the cake in her mouth but gets a little frosting on her nose*

Ruby: *licks off the frosting laughs and wipes her nose*

Ruby: Now I feel bad.

Weiss: Don't feel bad Ruby. That's how he gets you. That's how he wins.

Jaune: I got what I wanted. I mushed cake into your faces and got to see some tongue action. Fuck yes. That's all I wanted. That's what I said would be adorable. You girls always take things too far and abuse me. You only get one shot at feeding your spouse wedding cake and you two blew it. I barely got any in my mouth at all. That's your fault. You have to hold that.

Ruby: You butt. You manipulated us!

Jaune: Did I though?

Weiss: Don't get drawn in Ruby. This is how he makes his money. This is how he makes the big bucks. He gets to be all sweet on us but if he had had his shot he would have smeared you. Make no mistake.

Jaune: That's impossible to prove, darling. And I resent the accusation.

Ruby: But he was a honey to us and we mushed him. Oh! You frustrate me. Even when we plan things in advance we still lose. How does that work?

Weiss: I'm telling you Ruby this is how he wins. He acts all sweet and makes us look bad. Classic shock tactics.

Weiss: *folds her arms and gives a huff*

Weiss: You're such an asshole. How is it possible you made it somehow worse than if you smeared me in frosting. How did you do that?

Jaune: You did all the work. I'm going to get a second plate for me to eat.

Ruby: *whines* Give me a second try to feed it to you.

Weiss: Would it make you feel better if he did? If he sits there and gives you a second shot you don't think it would make you feel worse. He'll do it too. He'll sit there and give you a take two with a grin on his face. He'll do it. On gods he'll do it. Look at him smirk! You really want a second try?

Ruby: I don't know!

Jaune: Well while you two are figuring it out I'm going have me some cake.

Ruby: *bounces in place* You butthead. Ugh.

Jaune: I defy you to tell me exactly what I did wrong.

Weiss: *nods slowly* You know what you did. You can act like you don't know but we all know you know what you did.

Jaune: Again difficult to prove. Isn't it. And still I defy you to tell me what exactly I did besides be nice to both of you. And I'm still the bad guy?

Ruby: It's because you were so nice!

Weiss: You are the bad guy! How did you do that? I don't know how you pulled that off. You're so conniving.

Ruby: I got it. Jaune you have to mush my face.

Weiss: He's not going to...

Ruby: You told me I was going to get what I deserved. I deserve to be mushed.

Jaune: I did say that. And I gave it to you. I gave you exactly what you had coming to you. I could never smear you. It would break my poor little heart. I couldn't handle it.

Weiss: Don't you see Ruby? He wanted to frustrate us. That's what he meant. We walked right into it. Checkmate in one move.

Jaune: This cake is delicious. Is this what you two had?

Ruby: Mush me!

Jaune: Open up.

Ruby: *steps forward and opens her mouth*

Jaune: *delicately places cake in her open mouth*

Ruby: You butthead. You mushed me even less the second time. You made it worse!

Weiss: There's no way out Ruby. Give up.

Ruby: I demand you mush me.

Jaune: I could never. I love ya too much. I couldn't. Not ever. Not even if ya begged me. Not to my little sweetheart. I couldn't do it.

Ruby: Fine! You win or whatever!

Jaune: Win what?

Weiss: Dumb blonde. You know what. Don't play dumb. At least own up to it. Don't act like you don't know. It's unbecoming.

Jaune: I don't know what you girls are so upset about. Can't figure it out for the life of me. You know how I am with women. The ladyfolk as it were. I'm just a 'dumb blonde.' Gosh this cake is so good. Chocolate and vanilla?! What a winning combination! Who came up with that?

Ruby: You do too! You're such a liar!

Jaune: A good thing honesty wasn't in my vows. Convenient.

Weiss: So clever and conniving! Why did I marry you?

Jaune: Something something hard work. Something something obsessive in a good way. Something something push one another.

Weiss: Asshole.

#rwby #jaune arc #rwby incorrect quotes #ruby rose #weiss schnee #lancaster #whiteknight #white knight #whiterose #white rose #war of the roses #ruby rose x jaune arc x weiss schnee #motion sickness

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arc-misadventures · 11 days

Text

Oh Look, A Wall

Jaune: Whoa… Weiss’s dress is gorgeous…

Jaune: It’s so mezmeri… (Wham!) OWW?!

Ruby: Jaune?! Are you okay?

Jaune: Oww, what did I hit?

Ruby: You walked into a wall?

Jaune: Did I really?

Ruby: Uhh… Are you sure you’re okay?

Jaune: I’m fine, my aura protected me!

Ruby: Jaune, you're talking to a wall.

Jaune: Weiss is like that at times.

Ruby: No, Jaune. You're talking to a literal wall.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Question: Is the wallpaper a series of circles?

Ruby: No…?

Jaune: Okay, I need to go to the hospital.

Ruby: Okay then…

~~~

Yang: You’re gonna kill him at this rate.

Weiss: Yeah…

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #ruby rose #jaune x weiss #weiss x jaune #rwby whiteknight

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ludibriadormonoteista · 2 months

Text

BEFORE and AFTER II

Part 1 here.

Before:

Jaune: *Yawn* Man. This Vytal Tournament sure got me tired. I hope my Team doesn’t mind me taking a nap this early in the-

*SCHWING*

Jaune: *With a Saber Pointed to his Face* …Noon.

Winter: Mr. Arc, I presume.

Jaune: T-That’d be me! Wait, were you just waiting for me by the dorms?

Winter: That’s classified. *Sheats Saber* Winter Schnee. Atlas Specialist. I have come to discuss matters pertinent to you regarding my sister.

Jaune: You’re Weiss’ sister?! Uh-! I mean-! We’re good friends! Yeah! Though I guess you could say we started off on the wrong foot…

Winter: Quite the laughable understatement, Mr. Arc. For you see, Weiss has detailed in her letters many instances where you publicly harassed her with your feeble attempts at courting her.

Jaune: Hey, I wasn’t harassing her-

Winter: In case you were not aware, Weiss is a very prominent figure in Atlas, and as such, receives multiple solicitations from wealthy suitors on a daily basis. Men with far more ambition and talent than you could ever hope to achieve in your life.

Jaune: Now, wait a minute. Just because I’m not rich, that doesn’t mean I’m not up to snuff.

Winter: Is that so? *Raises a Folder* Because this extensive background check I have on you says otherwise.

Jaune: Extensive what now?

Winter: *Reading* Lack of proper education. Zero prior experience in the field. And absolutely no training to speak of. The best I could find were your admission transcripts, which were all filled out using crayons for whatever reason.

Jaune: I had run out of ink, okay?!

Winter: SILENCE! If the circumstances were any different, I would have you placed under arrest and locked up in the remotest cell in all of Solitas! However, doing so now would violate the Vytal Treaty amongst the Kingdoms. So instead, I will advise you to recognize my authority next time you elect to threaten the sanctity of my dear little sister again. Verstehst?!

Jaune: Y-Yeah- I-I versteht(?) that, alright!

Winter: Splendid. I will be watching the tournament for the remaining of its duration. It would do you well to know your place in the meantime. That will be all. *Marches Away*

Jaune: T-Thanks, have a great day! Hahah... *Nearly Faints* Oh dear…

After:

Yang: Alright, VB! You’ve got nowhere to run!

Jaune: Knock it off, Yang! You’ve been chasing after me all morning! Can we please talk about this?!

Yang: Nuh-uh~ Ruby’s biological clock is ticking, and I’ll be damned if I let the Rose Bloodline end here!

Jaune: Don’t you think this is moving things between me and Ruby a little too fast? Can’t we at least settle for a date first?

Yang: Oh, I’ll arrange you a date, alright… WITH HER WOMB-! *Encased in a Block of Ice*

Jaune: …What just happened?

Winter: *Descending with her Maiden Powers* That should hold her for a while. Imagine my surprise it was just you two causing a ruckus around Vacuo. For a moment I thought Salem had arrived.

Jaune: Oh thank goodness! It’s you, Winter. Sorry for all the trouble, Yang and I had a disagreement and-

Winter: Never mind all that. I was actually meaning to talk to you privately about something.

Jaune: Really? Is it a mission?

Winter: In a manner of speaking, yes. Ever since you and your friends came back, I have been worried about Weiss’ sake. To think I once thought to have forever lost my sister to that blasted abyss…

Jaune: …Winter?

Winter: *Harrumphs* Alas. I have been thinking about your actions back at that bridge. You fought tooth and nail to protect Weiss despite your shortcomings. Believe me when I say you have shown yourself worthy of my sister’s hand and affection.

Jaune: Oh… Wow! Thanks, that’s a… That’s a lot to take in. I’ll be sure to think about it.

Winter: What is there to think about?

Jaune: …I’m sorry?

Winter: You misunderstand, Mr. Arc. I am not merely granting you my blessing to date Weiss. My sister deserves the best, and as your commanding officer, I demand that you provide the best for her.

Jaune: Uh…

Winter: FURTHERMORE! You are to, effective immediately, seek to copulate with my sister for the betterment of the Schnee Bloodline!

Jaune: EH?!

Frozen!Yang: !!!

Winter: With your Aura and Semblances combined, your firstborn will become a key component to winning this war, as well as generating the perfect heir to uphold both our families’ legacy! Of course, I do not plan on holding it against you in the events Weiss explicitly decides to have more children-

Jaune: Okay, STOP! Full stop! Demanding that I hook up with Weiss is already one thing! But you cannot in good conscience order me to sleep with her! She’s your sister, for crying out loud!

Winter: Exactly! She is my sister, and I intend on getting her the perfect husband! I was foolish to dismiss you before, but not anymore! Now come with me!

Jaune: H-Hey! Just hear me out for a second! What I’m trying to say is-

Winter: THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH! I will ask you one last time to not make this more difficult than it has any right to be! You can come along willingly, or I can drag you out by force! EITHER WAY, YOU WILL BE IN MY SISTER’S ARMS SOON ENOUGH!

Jaune: Y-You’re not serious, are you?

Winter: *Saber in Hands, Winter Maiden Powers in Full Effect* I WILL NOT BE DENIED OF MY FUTURE NIECES AND NEPHEWS!

Jaune: …I should get back to running.

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #winter schnee #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #ruby rose #lancaster #ruby x jaune #jaune x ruby #whiteknight #weiss x jaune #jaune x weiss #yangposting

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