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writtenbyevie · 2 years

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made this to cope™️

#ocd #pure ocd #actually ocd #ocd rep #ocd memes #mental heath awareness #mental compulsions #rumination #ruminating thoughts #living with ocd #ocdproblems #ocd posting #erp #compulsion #evie cringe fail compilation

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plaidparadscha · 4 months

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Feeling guilty while also having Ocd is the worst feeling ever.

I’m already feeling guilty and my Ocd is just making it worse and I’ll start ruminating about it constantly and it’ll be about something I did when I was 12.

#ocd #actually ocd #guilt #ruminating thoughts #ruminations

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lostestleo · 8 months

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7 ways of Ruminating yourself to death:

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mod-doodles · 8 months

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Is this not a oxymoron?

Charged and sexy insinuates romance, no?

Why did the romantic undertones and the people who ascribe to following the dynamic the show promotes; have an entire paragraph in the article.

Molly said it btw I’m not sure but it seems like some people are reading it as if Ayo said it.

Why was Molly Gordon’s opinion on the subject necessary in Ayo’s interview. When both characters barely interact in said show.

Molly had two interviews with THR:

One where she specifically discussed The Bear and another where she discussed her other projects. But there’s a third because they just couldn’t stop bring up Molly during Ayo’s interview.

The more you look at it, it seems like the THR is just as obsessed with Sydcarmy.

Why are they alienating the fans who’s did more for them by keeping the discourse alive during the writers and actors strike. Well the interview was pre strike so that’s conflicting but yeah.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #the bear meta #carmen berzatto #ayo edibiri #ruminating thoughts

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silaswritesthings · 1 year

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A silent night with a fallen knight

Summary: You and Dainsleif spend another quiet night together while you contemplate over the actions you are willing to take in the name of love and hatred

Starring: dainsleif, a sleeping Paimon, Abyss twin (unspecified)

Genre: Romance, angst (I think), lots of thinking

Warnings: Reader cusses once at the very beginning, implied mentions of murder

Author’s note: I don’t even know what this is, I was just in a contemplative mood and wrote this on a whim. This is vaguely (very very very vaguely) a Dainsleif character study. Emphasis on vague. Likes, reblogs, comments and new followers are always welcome :)

Word count: 505 words

“Fuck you world” You muttered at the stars, moon shining bright and proud along with those very same stars you cursed above them. The silence between you and the night was heavy but not heavier than the hatred burning in your chest toward… everything. Nothing could drag you lower than yourself.

“Are you not too old for teenage angst?” Dainsleif muttered from where he sat across from you in the temporary camp you had set up for the night.

“One can never be too old for rumination.” You answered back, managing a smile on your face. It was pathetic and frail just as your attempts at finding your twin but it held some reminesance of the hope that shined through you at the beginning of your journey. You’d hoped that this little light within you would be enough to drive you forward. If not, you shall force your way forward with sheer absolute rage for that was something you had in abundance for the beautiful world of Teyvat. How could you not when it was the causation of all your tragedies?

“Rumination?” Dainsleif bought you out of your thoughts once again. He tended to do that quite often the many times your paths crossed. “Is that what you’re calling it?” You sighed as you turned to face your temporary companion. Your warm gaze brushed over a sleeping Paimon momentarily before you locked eyes with Dainsleif who, as you had expected, had his blue gaze fixed on you already. As it always was.

“Do not act as if you are incapable of hatred, Dainsleif.” You said airily, the exhaustion from your daily adventures had caught up to you and left your mind in a dreamy state as your eyes fluttered in a poor attempt at keeping the tiredness at bay.

“Everyone is capable of hate, but it’s not a permanent emotion. I wouldn’t dwell on such if I were you.”

“Why?” You suddenly felt more awake as curiosity flooded your gaze that was still on the strange man.

“Saviors should neither discriminate nor hate.” He said without hesitation. You sighed, rolled your eyes and sat up. The cold still air shifted into a gentle breeze, the biting cold carrying away any desire for slumber.

You glanced at the stars once more.

“I’m no savior.”

Dainsleif sighed. “Do get some adequate rest, you will need it for tomorrow.”

You laughed but it was soft, quiet and bitter. “I doubt anybody's savior would have the heart to rest the night before their twin’s life is to fall by their hand.”

Dainsleif hummed from where he sat before glancing at the night sky as if it held answers unseen by anyone but him.

“You're ambitious, traveler. I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

“And you’re a cruel man.” You whispered before lying down and facing away from the man that you’ve allowed yourself to love and love so hard you’re willing to sacrifice the one who abandoned you for the world he’d lay his cursed life for in a heartbeat.

#silaswritesthings #silas #genshin impact #genshin x you #please don’t flop #dainslief #dainsleif x reader #dainsleif x you #traveler #gender neutral reader #traveler is reader #please actually do well bc i never write stuff like this fml #ruminating thoughts #rumination #betrayal #hatred #if this flops it never happened

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m-eltdown · 4 months

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late nights full of reblogging images and ruminating

#(i should definitely lay down soon but i don't have anything to do before like 3 tomorrow so i can sleep in and recharge a bit)#text post #text #my post #mine #late night post #can't sleep #ruminating thoughts

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sharvariwrites · 1 month

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“Love’s Uneven Scales”

When love remains unreciprocated, it becomes a precarious situation. To grant someone power over your life while receiving none in return is a painful mistake. I find myself caught in this paradox. He, with his boundless capabilities, could achieve anything at any hour, yet when it comes to my needs, he clings to his own possessions. Throughout my life, I’ve encountered men consumed by their careers driven, ambitious, and unyielding. They prioritize their aspirations over love, leaving me to grapple with the imbalance.

I appreciate ambition; it’s magnetic. But not at the cost of losing the person I hold dear. Relationships, whether friendships or romantic entanglements, require adjustments—a delicate dance of give and take. Yet, what if I’m the sole contributor, pouring my heart into every gesture? It’s a two-way street, or so they say. Yet, sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the absence of gratitude. Normalcy prevails, while my efforts remain unnoticed. When will he, at the very least, empathize with the sacrifices I make for him?

#excerpts #writings #love #feeling #ruminating thoughts

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annasellheim · 5 months

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saidyes2heaven · 3 months

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song of the week: If I Believe You - The 1975

As i’ve been ruminating or for lack of a better word rotting this winter break, a mixture of feelings surround me.

gnawing deep into my own fears

thankful thinking of joyful memories

ecstatic for the unknown future

regret and guilt of my past mistakes

I’ve felt so caught up in my day to day endeavors being away at college. I forget my previous life even existed. My parents moved towns after my first semester, leaving behind the room I knew during my vital years.

The lime green walls I chose to be less “girly”

The curtains I picked out from a local Homegoods with the shimmers reminding me of the night sky

And my closet that my mom insisted on converting to a prayer room, to hold our idols and frames of several Gods and Goddesses

In highschool I used to pray every day to the Gods, for a better future, better control over my circumstances, maybe a dumb prayer hoping to ace a test I wasn’t ready for. The future was alright, circumstances rarely changed, and I still didn’t do well on that test, it became a pattern. Where was God? Why couldn’t they hear me? Was I not loud enough? Mom said if I repeated this prayer 108 times I would get what I wanted so why didn’t I?

Over time my faith lessened, as much as I craved control, I grew to feel indifferent to God and Godly power. I mean nothing changed: things still went sour for me consistently, yet there were still moments that kept me moving. 2 years into college, God was merely an idol that I gave almost no thought to. My mom would occasionally call me and INSIST on prayer as key to change life and feel whole with myself. I saw no evidence as her life was almost the same for the last 20 years: working a typical corporate job, taking care of the house, family vacations during breaks. Yet I wondered: how has her faith not wavered?

I wished to feel that way. I wished to find that faith. No matter how much my mom pushes me to pray and believe, I can’t find it in myself to feel connected with someone above me.

I made my own friends

I cooked my own food

I got myself through dark times

I dressed myself in the style I aimed for

Who am I giving credit to? The Universe? An all-knowing deity?

Would God create me knowing I wouldn’t believe in them at some point in my life? Wouldn’t God try to connect with me better knowing I want them to hear me?

So it’s 10:04 PM and here I lay on my own bed, just like the first time hearing the song in 2018 in highschool, listening to the lyrics repeat over and over:

If i’m lost then how can I find myself? If i’m lost then how can I find myself? If i’m lost then how can I find myself? If i’m lost then how can I find myself? If i’m lost then how can I find myself?

Hoping to find myself .

#Spotify #ruminating thoughts #the 1975 #religion

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ruminate88 · 2 months

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What You Experience After Emotional Abuse:

When the emotional abuse ends and they’re off with the new girl they secretly started texting a month before they discarded you but they denied ever cheating and make you believe you’re crazy!! You’re left with conflicting messages and a broken heart. You’re still very much obsessed with them but you get no answers to the reason they were originally “so obsessed” with you but now suddenly they lost all interest in you. You end up accepting the reality of the situation and years later now sit in all these weird unresolved feelings and just cry inside but outwardly you have no more tears left for this person. Physically you’re unwell but can’t explain it to people. You’re tired all the time but can’t sleep because you can’t stop wondering who this person is and what their intentions were with you. 😥 There is a sadness in your stomach you can’t understand and you keep trying to release it. You’re physically in a new relationship that’s more healthy for you but mentally you’re still very attached to that toxic ex…. Not enough information or enough revelations kills the sadness or the intrusive thoughts. You just feel it all and tell yourself it’s not forever. You keep thinking of that ex “missing them” accept you don’t even know the “real them” because the person you originally met and fell in love with, was NOT the same person you broke up with… You struggle to remember the abusive moments and get stuck remembering the love bombing phase. You fantasize about when you first met them, how romantic and obsessed towards you they were. This only scratches the surface of what you go through after a the emotional abuse 🥺❤️‍🩹 Keep forgiving yourself, keep forgiving that ex and just don’t give up!! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

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selectivechaos · 11 months

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hey, it’s not bad not to talk to/interact with people. you’re not a failure. you do have a life: you are alive and your life is worthy. thing is: people give others a lot of shit for not being as sociable as the norm, or not speaking. and it’s frustrating because there are no social milestones, and there is no one way to live a life. and people who want to judge you and hold you to their standards, care more about social norms than about you.

you talk/communicate on your terms, according to your abilities and needs. there’s no pressure. if you’re just doing it to appease others, it’s not recovery and it’s not your life🌹🌹

#rumination #ruminating thoughts #positive reminders #gentle reminder #social anxiety disorder #social anxitey #actually socially anxious #situational mutism #sm tag

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crisishauntline · 4 months

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Trying new strategies for countering obsessive/compulsive thoughts:

When I’m out and about and I have a compulsion to go look for her car or walk towards people I think might be her, I will just sit down on a stoop or the curb and tune into my feelings, and feel the earth beneath me.

When I have obsessive thoughts or ruminating behaviors (excessive venting to friends, rereading past messages, looking at photos, checking social media, wallowing by listening to sad music), I will sing or play songs that help me rebalance my emotions, remind me of my self and my talents, and shift my thinking into a more practical, creative headspace. If I can channel the energy into songwriting that’s great, but it’s not required.

#personal #love life #mental health #breakup #self compassion #obsession #compulsion #love addiction #heartbreak #ruminating thoughts

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your-heart-is-a-treasure · 1 year

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You are that blessed soul who belongs to the garden of paradise.

Is it fair to let yourself fall apart in a shattered house?

You are the bird of happiness in the magic of existence.

What a pity! Why you let yourself be chained and caged?

Break free!

Break free from this dark prison called material world.

Soon you will see you are the sage and the fountain of life.

- Rumi

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lostestleo · 7 months

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This is the main technique I use when I have intrusive thoughts, my anxiety is high or I simply can’t stop ruminating…

I will give some examples of how to go about this:

5 things you see: Go outside and look around. What do you see? A bird? What kind? A tree? Or even a wooden fence? What colour is the fence? Maybe you see a cloud… What shape is the cloud? Is it cloud shape? Good enough. Congratulations, you have become more mindful.

4 things you can touch: reach out your hands and with those beautiful fingers start touching the world around you. You could touch a blade of grass, the bark of a tree, a flower pedal, pet a doggo if it is friendly, or even feel your own clothes; anything to help keep yourself grounded by using your senses.

3 things you can hear: the howling of the wind, the sound of a train in the distance, the cars driving by, the birds singing, even the sound your shoes make when you’re walking. There are so many things happening around us, yet we tune it all out just to hyper focus on the negative things that we can’t control- this is not productive, and it consumes us.

2 things you can smell: Seriously people, smell the flowers! There is something to this… We are wound so tight with schedules and deadlines to a point where everyday life ends up feeling so chaotic, even on days off. You can change the way your brain works simply by slowing down enough to enjoy the absolute littlest things in life.

1 thing you can taste: I’ll let you decide what you put in your mouth. But just make sure it won’t kill you.

#ruminating thoughts #ruminations #social anxiety #panic attack #be nice #learning #calmness #the more you know #growing up #self help #chronic illness #chronic pain #i am healing #lets be friends #be kind #live and let live #mind conditioning #mindfulness

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hazbinbossbrainrot · 1 year

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Theory Time: Stella is playing mind games with Octavia (another form of abuse)

In 2x12 (in a leaked clip) Octavia accuses Stolas for using pills to “just to deal with her” as a daughter as a whole.

Proof:

(Read at your own risk!)

* However we ALL know that’s not the real reason why Stolas takes antidepressants; 1) Because of the cruelty he had to endure for the last 17 years from Stella and 2) Because he had been flat out rejected AND accused — about something he had no awareness of what he was doing wrong — by Blitz after their so called “date” at Ozzie’s.

• Though to be fair Blitz WAS the one who called Stolas to come to Ozzie’s and instigated the whole thing (it was really Jizzarolli and AssModeus’s fault for calling Stolitz out for sleeping together and humiliating them in the process)

Well, I’m beginning to highly suspect that with all this going on. I think Stella is telling Octavia some untruthful things about her dad (because she knows Stolas is miserable to the max from being married to her and suffering from her cruelty and she must know he still takes antidepressants — after all, she had lived with the man for 17 years straight and would have noticed at SOME point! — so what does she do?

Of course, Stella would take advantage of it!

But for what reason, you ask?

Well, we know that Stella wants to take all of Stolas’s happiness away from him (as much as she possibly can, y’know as abusers do), so, that could even include winning full custody of Octavia — with her lawyers and lying about what a “bad parent” Stolas had been (which is funny because he did most of the upbringing of Octavia, and STELLA was the actual alleged bad parent for doing all this shit, as well as NOT comforting her daughter at a young age after having a freakin NIGHTMARE, but, anyways) she even threatened Stolas, in 2x01, that her (soon to be ex-husband) PAY for it from falling of little grace he had.

* Now, to be honest, I thought when she said this, it was in reference Stolas’s relationship with Blitz somehow, but yeah, I can see how Octavia can have an effect on this as well.

(More so the fact that Stolas sort of depends on Octavia and her presence without feeling lonely and he sure as hell doesn’t want Stella’s company - I mean, come on, why would you with someone like her? I actually don’t blame him)

Jesus…. the guy can NOT catch a break 🥺 (not even before the divorce court date yet! Because Stella’s still giving Stolas SHIT and possibly playing MIND GAMES with Octavia, of all people?! Her own freakin DAUGHTER?!

Actually? I’m not surprised given the way that Cash, Crimson, and Paimon all neglected and abused their sons without any sort of consequence. But yeah sure let’s add STELLA, the person who’s already trying to kill Stolas, to the mix. Not saying that the latter has hit Octavia or anything, yet, I don’t think… but she’s STILL being abused in another way. Something less obvious this time…

Why I think Stella is emotionally manipulating Octavia (subconsciously?):

“Your father is going to leave you behind all for that weird red dickhead (— in reference to Blitz —) and they’re gonna go somewhere you can’t follow them.”

Sound familiar? It’s almost like Octavia had been given the task to rehearse (by Stella’s manipulative influence) this to make it to probably get Stolas to feel guilt-ridden enough to make him stay married — haha! That didn’t exactly work nice try (sarcasm), Stella; you’re still getting your ass divorced, regardless — to the latter (as cruel people LOVE to keep their victims on a leash and bully them to get what they want; to have the person feel hurt and deprived of love etc)

Then again, Octavia is STILL her own person as well so this is just something she feels without Stella’s influencing her (but her mother would probably be whispering in her ear like the devil on her shoulder or something. Maybe. I don’t know I might be reading into this too much)

youtube

OR

“Your father is taking pills because he has to deal with you, Octavia, and he doesn’t want to, because you’re nothing more than a precautionary heir to him. Now, is that all? Because I’m incredibly busy right now.” or something like that.

Because if we know Stella she WILL find a way to use her argument with Stolas but twist the words, so to speak, so when he said “you and I were arranged to birth a precautionary heir, nothing more”

And it won’t be hard to get Octavia to be manipulated by that because she’s ALREADY broken; she already thinks her dad is going to leave her behind and run off with Blitz (despite Stolas saying that he would never do that to her, but the anxiety is STILL there, in the back of her mind…

I’ve learned from other experiences (through friends of friends) if you don’t feel loved enough then you’ll listen to the BAD people and, unfortunately, if Stella, is using the “I’m your mother, Octavia! You should trust me!” card…

Yeah, that’s not going to end well for her (or Stolas for that matter, IF he finds out about the possible emotional manipulation that’s going on)

The worst part is? We don’t KNOW (I’ll admit that much to avoid the critique behind this) what Stella and Octavia’s relationship is like and EVERY weekend she is staying with her mother; she COULD be poisoning her mind beyond Stolas’s knowledge. He can’t defend or help his daughter if he doesn’t know about it!

Another thing, I would like to point out, is that in 2x02 Stella said to Stolas for him to “stop turning her against me” Foreshadow (or projection lol) much? Because think about it: who does Octavia most likely remind Stella of in appearance-wise?

Mhm. Stolas.

I think Stella knows that she can’t physically — or mentally for that matter — hurt Octavia in the open because THAT is something Stolas would NOT tolerate, in the past would have sacrificed himself any sort of abuse from his wife, just so their daughter wouldn’t

So, I think, I’m my opinion, Stella does it in a way that Stolas won’t know about. And WHAT better time and place to do it, then on a fuckin weekend (since the latter moved out, he can’t really moderate her and see if she’s targeting Octavia or not whether it’s obvious or discreet)

#stolas will always protect octavia from stella 🥹#I’ve had way too much coffee 😆#marchioness stella (post divorce)#octavia of the ars goetia #asexual #stolas of the ars goetia #gay #stella of the ars goetia #pansexual #ruminating thoughts #helluva boss #stolas as a dad #god i hope not #theory time #mind games #ramblings #Youtube

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districtsof-treason · 7 months

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has anyone learned to stop ruminating on thoughts yet? any tips?

#ruminating thoughts #I can’t stop thinking about what the narcissist did to me and I need so desperately to move on and leave it behind

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