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#ryan mcmahon
kdoxkeic · 3 days
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Long overdue… Irish women/men have a chokehold on me
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angelwonie · 11 months
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LET ME IN || elijah hewson
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PAIRING: elijah x reader
WORD COUNT: 3.3k
GENRE(S): fluff, a bit of angst, friends to lovers, hurt comfort
SUMMARY: when your best friend turns up at your front door unannounced, you decide to find out why he's acting so strangely. what you don't expect is for some repressed feelings to bubble up to the surface.
WARNINGS: smoking, mentions of drinking + being drunk, kissing, eli has daddy issues oops
this is it y'all i've gone insane... he looked at me once and this is what happens. @boobyskeetz made me post this btw
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It’s far along in the evening when you come home to find Elijah Hewson sitting on your staircase with his head in his hands. 
He’s slumped over, leather jacket around his shoulders and a slowly burning, unattended cigarette in between the pointer and middle finger of his right hand. The sky is pitch black, the only source of light being an ancient lantern whose shine just barely reaches Elijah’s hair. 
You’re shocked at the sight, to say the least, the heaviness of your grocery bags suddenly a faint background noise. 
“Eli?” you move closer, albeit hesitantly, and your voice makes his head snap up.
When he looks at you, you fight back the urge to gasp. His eyes, half lidded, just barely glimmer in the faint light provided by the moon overhead, leaving room for his undereye bags to stand out. And they do stand out — so much that you almost don’t catch him stumbling over his feet ever so slightly as he walks over to where you’re standing. 
Almost. 
“Are you alright?” 
It’s not a question, not really, but he winces either way. You stand close enough to see it, but immediately, his lips pull into a lopsided grin to hide his initial reaction. 
“‘Course I am,” he takes a drag of his cigarette, and uses his other hand to take one of your grocery bags. “Just wanted to see you, that’s all.”
You nod, watching him drop the unfinished cigarette to the ground and step on it. You wonder how many he’s smoked today and consider asking, but decide against it upon realizing you probably don’t want to know. Instead, you let him take your grocery bags wordlessly, following him up the stairs. 
It’s a short staircase, but you’re walking slowly – too slowly for your liking – and there’s a million questions burning on your tongue. You hold them back, mostly because you’re tired, but also because something in Elijah’s eyes tells you not to push. 
He’s the one to speak first when you reach the right apartment. “Hey, your flowers are still alive.”
He’s referring to the roses he helped you pick out last month. It was a treat for yourself, for finishing all your assignments, and you had taken the whole ‘plant mom’ job pretty seriously, even putting the roses in a prettier vase and putting it on display outside of your apartment. 
“Yeah,” you chuckle. “They’re holding up really well.”
Elijah waits for you to unlock the door, then walks inside with you in tow. He wobbles a little as he drops down his shoes where he always puts them — where he’s put them ever since you told him three years ago it could be his spot. 
You watch him shoulder off his jacket and start organizing the groceries in the fridge from afar, slowly taking off your outerwear. It’s warm inside, and your skin feels like it’s about to be set on fire after being out in the cold for so long. You think of Elijah sitting on your doorstep. How long was he waiting for you? 
“Mind if I take a beer?” he cuts off your thoughts and you look up to find him with his hand on your fridge, an inquiring look on his face. 
Now the lighting’s better, and you can clearly see his face. The creases between his brows, the focus in his gaze, the stubble that he’s let grow just a little longer than usually. Whether that’s a deliberate choice or simple forgetfulness, you’re not sure, but it worries you. His state worries you. 
“Suit yourself.”
Maybe you should have said no, you think as he takes a sip of the drink and you’re reminded of the wobble in his walk. He’s probably had enough to drink already. To be fair, though, Elijah can be stubborn when he wants to, and something’s telling you today is one of those days. 
When everything is either in the fridge or in a cupboard, you and Eli wander into the living room, shoulder to shoulder, without much to say. It’s messy, and he scolds you playfully for it — like he’s not the guy whose dorm you have to clean each time you come over. 
You join his laughter though, and plop down on your couch a little more relaxed than before. 
“How long did you wait for me?” 
This time you manage to ask him the question, and he shrugs.
“A couple hours.”
He lifts the beer up to his lips and empties it, the can blocking out his view of you and your widened eyes. 
What the hell is going on? His gaze tells you nothing. It’s so indifferent it makes you want to rip your hair out, because no matter how much he wants to pretend spontaneously coming over at three am is normal, it’s not. Especially when it comes to him. 
Sure, if it were Robert, you would’ve figured it was just him acting on impulse, but it was never like that with Elijah. 
“You could have just called,” you say finally, a slight quiver to your voice. “You should have just called. You know that, right?”
He meets your gaze, but not for long; after a second it drops down to his lap, like he’s embarrassed. You hold your breath, awaiting an answer. His fingers drum against the side of the couch, but then he changes his mind about that, too, and brings his hand to scratch the side of his face. God, what is he even doing? Trying to see how long it’ll take for you to snap and throw him out of the apartment? 
Suddenly, he sighs deeply, dropping his hands in his lap. “Didn’t wanna bother you.”
You can’t help yourself from scoffing. That’s it? He ‘didn’t wanna bother you’? Maybe you would’ve believed it hadn’t he shown up unannounced at your front door in the middle of the night. 
You almost open your mouth to say just that, but stop yourself when Elijah looks up again, and his bloodshot eyes meet yours. Something’s definitely not right. You can physically feel it, the tightening of your chest, the anger somehow pushed to the back of your head. 
“Why are you here?” you ask him sternly, keeping your eyes on him. This time, he doesn’t look away. 
“Do you want me to leave?”
It comes out meek, frail, as he almost chokes on his own words. You’re taken aback by the shiver in his voice, the drop of his shoulders. He places the beer can on your table and you swear his hands shake — just barely, but enough for you to see and for your heart to clench in response. 
You shake your head. “No, I want to know why you’re here.”
He laughs humorlessly, leaning forward in his chair. His hands are definitely shaking, but you’re not sure whether it’s from the alcohol or something entirely different. 
You know this face on him — he’s bothered by something, but doesn’t want to admit it. He’s always been like this, ever since you met him at school and watched his eyes glow with the same sadness after his teachers told him he should work on his grades. It was the same look on his face, the same millions of feelings threatening to bubble over the surface. 
The only difference seems to be that now, he’s got no cap in his hands to close the bottle. 
“I’m just tired, that’s all. Wanted to talk to you ‘cause the lads are too much noise.”
You frown and send him a look of disdain. Perhaps this isn’t something you should push on him, but seeing as he just magically appeared at your apartment while drunk, you do have a right to at least inquire what the fuck is going on.  
“If you’re going to lie to me, you might as well leave.”
Silence follows your statement; silence so loud you almost regret saying anything at all. He grits his teeth, and you swear you can hear it from across the table — though that might just be your brain playing tricks on you this late in the evening. 
“It’s my dad,” he mutters finally, scratching his stubble. “Not that that’s much of a surprise.”
“What happened?” 
“Nothing new, really,” he exhales, closing his eyes briefly. “Just, you know, the usual ‘you’re wasting your life by not going to college’ talk. Total bullshit, as always. The only thing wasted is those twenty minutes of my life I spent listening to him talk about it.” 
You breathe out slowly, fighting against the urge to look away from his gaze. He keeps it on you, unwavering, but you don’t know what to say. It’s dangerous territory, one you haven’t ever entered fully, and the worry of hurting him pangs at your chest; the legitimacy of his vulnerability scares you and moves you all the same. 
You bite the inside of your cheek.
“He’s just worried, you know. I would be, too.” 
“Why?” his lip quivers and your heart sinks in your chest; so quickly it forces a sudden nausea upon you. “Because I’m not cut out for this?”
“No, Eli, that’s not what I–”
He cuts you off — not with his words, but with his hands gripping the arms of his chair to help him stand. It’s so abrupt your words die down in your throat, leaving a dryness behind. Hovering above you, he still looks small, like he’s fading into the light above; barely even present as Elijah but rather as some mass of feelings clumped together, ready to explode. 
“Do really none of you think I can make this work?” 
It’s the alcohol, you think, god, you shouldn’t have let him drink any more — how could you be so careless? But no, it’s not your carelessness or his, and you know that, even in this state of panic, it somehow reaches your mind — the revelation that this isn’t a random outburst. 
It’s the fruit of a tree that’s been growing for a long time; the ripeness isn’t fake, even if you’re unprepared to pick it.
“Do you really think that?” he asks this quietly, his voice barely audible, but it feels like he’s tearing your skull apart with a scream. 
Do you really think that? The very assumption, the very thought, disgusts you. The thought that you could ever believe he won’t make it — it’s so unnerving you let out a shaky breath. 
A movement of your legs from underneath you and you’re standing. Your feet tap against the floor as you walk up to him slowly, like approaching a scared deer. He is scared, you realize. Your fingertips tingle with the longing to run your hands over his face, but you hold them back, instead answering his question.
“No.” 
He blinks, and you say it again: “No,” and again and again, “No, no, no, no,” until it almost doesn’t feel like a word anymore and more like some sort of bandage wrapped around a bruised bone. 
“Your dad doesn’t think that, either. He’s just worried because he cares. Because he loves you.” 
He falls silent. “I’m not so sure.”
“About what?”
He doesn’t reply instantly. You look down on his hands, only to find that they’re still shaking, and take a couple steps forward. Elijah doesn’t notice, you think, or if he does, he doesn’t show any disdain for your closeness. 
“About love,” he says finally. “Isn’t love supporting someone unconditionally? Rooting for them, no matter what? That description doesn’t really fit my dad.” 
“I think you’ve got it all wrong.” 
You suppress the smile that threatens to form on your face when he sends you a confused look, his nose scrunched. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you can support whoever you want without much difficulty,” you look at the floor, thinking of what to say next. “That doesn’t mean you love them. If you love someone, it means you’re willing to suffer through discomfort and pain to make them happy. You’re willing to spend your nights worrying if they’ve chosen the right path. You let them into your apartment at three am. That type of thing.” 
Thirty seconds pass before you finally look back up, internally shivering at the way his stare bores into your soul. 
“You…” he trails off, wincing like it’s painful. Uncharted territory, yet again — that much is obvious from how your heart bangs against your ribs. The silence in the room makes you worry if he might just be able to hear it.
You hear him inhale sharply, taking a step back so he can sit at the edge of your sofa. Following suit, you observe his eyes shining in the light, less red than before though still uncertain. His shoulder brushes against yours and you breathe in — he smells of alcohol, but it’s oddly comforting in the storm of your thoughts. 
Elijah’s head turns to you. 
“Have you… ever thought this is all for nothing? That I keep leaving the tour bus with more and more bruises for no reason at all?” 
Your fingertips tingle again, and this time you do nothing to stop them from brushing over the back of his hand. It’s stupid, probably, but it feels right, his skin against yours. He’s warm, really warm, but it doesn’t bother you in the slightest, even when he leisurely drags his forefinger down the side of your hand. It tingles, but you don’t move away. 
Elijah’s hand doesn’t shake anymore when you interlace your fingers together. Finally, you get the courage to speak. 
“I’ve held your hair back while you were throwing up, Eli. Tied your shoelaces after a tiring show. Corrected your lyrics until four at night so you could send them to your manager before dawn. I wouldn’t do any of that if I didn’t believe you were on your way to the top from the first time I saw you,” you take a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut for a moment before you look directly at him. “I wouldn’t do any of that if I didn’t believe in you.” 
It’s silent after that. For a long time. But his hand sits clammily in yours like a pearl in a clamshell, and you hold onto it for dear life, praying he won’t slip out from your grip. 
“Promise me you won’t stop.”
Your head turns, startled by the sudden statement. His gaze scans you from head to toe, lingering on the curve of your lips, then your nose and finally your eyes, where it stops and plants its roots. You feel it spreading almost like wildfire, the warmth that comes with it. You almost tremble underneath it, squeezing his hand a little harder. 
“Won’t stop what?” you whisper, eyes wide.
“Letting me into your apartment at three am.”
His gaze drops in a manner someone might’ve mistaken for lazy, but you know him well enough to recognize the vacillation in his eyes. You feel his fingers shiver in your embrace, every breath strained. 
“Why not?”
You move closer, only by a centimeter or so, but he senses it — all the cells in his body seem to tingle with the paradox of wanting to touch and wanting to run all the same. Maybe it’s the unexpectedness of it all, or maybe rather it’s the arbitrary comfort that comes with it, that scares him to death, but whatever reason, he feels like he’s entering a deadly storm. 
And perhaps it’s the alcohol and he’s not thinking straight, but this storm appears more inviting than any sunny day he’s ever witnessed. 
He squeezes your hand tighter and leans down until his lips are impossibly close to brushing against your nose. You feel his hot breath on your face, sparks dancing across your skin to the smell of cigarettes and whiskey and beer, his hand shaking ever so slightly. 
“Because I still haven’t gotten the chance to let you into mine.” 
You smile — a real smile that you no longer manage to hold back. He mirrors the expression, albeit softly, lines appearing in the corners of his mouth. Let me in. Hues of colors appear in his eyes just as his shaky pointer finger grazes your jaw. Let me in. He cups your cheek gently, his lips parting in a breathless exhale. 
Let me in, let me in, let me in.
He does. Just when the clock shows 3:47am and your shirt feels like it’s sticking to your skin, he finally closes the distance between you.
His lips brush over yours — it’s featherlight and careful, but you accept it all and kiss him back nonetheless. You can taste cigarettes on his tongue when he opens his mouth. Suddenly, the clock’s sound doesn’t reach your ears anymore, and all you can hear is the beating of your heart inside your throat. His finger strokes your cheek and his nose bumps into yours, but it’s fine. It’s more than fine. 
You breathe in the scent of him, bringing your hands to tangle themselves in his hair in a moment of recklessness. Yeah, you’ve definitely gone absolutely crazy — but that’s a problem to solve later. For now, you’re kissing Elijah Hewson.
You’re kissing Elijah Hewson. It’s almost a revelation that dawns upon you like the waves of a tsunami, knocking the breath out of your lungs. It squeezes at your heart, a drawstring closing around it, and you have to pull away to breathe, to examine his face, puffy lips and tired eyes, to understand the gravity of your situation.
“We just kissed,” you say, and your voice shakes even though you strain to keep it calm.
“Yes,” he affirms, like it’s nothing. But it is something, and his eyes can't hide that. “We did.”
“But you’re drunk.”
“You think that’s why I did it?”
“I don’t know.”
He smiles and you swear your heart almost leaps out of your chest. “You do.”
“I don’t.”
He looks at you for a moment – your messy hair, reddened lips, the hesitation in your gaze – and makes his decision. 
In less than a second, he drops down to his knees and you’re about to protest (because what does he think he’s doing?) until he grabs your hand and holds it between both of his. You furrow your eyebrows to hide the fact that you’re taken aback, though from the glint in Elijah’s eyes you figure you’re not doing a very good job at it. 
He looks at you, like really looks at you, and you look at him the same. The fruit lies in the palm of your hand and squeezes to the beat of your heart when he speaks. 
“I love you.” 
Your breath catches in your throat when he kisses your knuckles softly, and keeps them against his lips. “That’s why I kissed you, why I turned up to your apartment at three am, why I don’t regret it. Any of it. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Something pulls at the very back of your throat. You keep your mouth closed, but even that doesn’t stop a choked whimper from leaving you — a sound that makes Elijah’s lips quirk upwards. He smiles, and you attempt to do the same, yet all you manage is a half-laugh, half-sob that shakes though your body. 
Embarrassed, you look down, and you can hear Eli chuckle before the warmth of his arms envelops you whole. He hugs you tightly against his chest, fingers coming up to stroke your hair as you partly laugh, partly cry into his shirt. And even though it should be humiliating, the act feels so powerfully comforting that you let him hold you. 
“I love you too.”
You whisper this into his chest, breathing heavily. He pulls away and you look up, confused, but he smiles that gorgeous smile of his, with teeth on display and smile lines appearing, and cups your jaw. His eyes shimmer with undoubtable joy. 
He doesn’t have to say anything. You know.
“That’s a fucking relief, huh?” he whisper-laughs and you join in on it.
“Yeah.”
And you smile.
He’s let you in, and you don’t think you’ll be leaving any time soon. 
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Please tell me I’m not the only one?
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sirenlulls · 6 months
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feels like ➞ e. hewson
pairing — elijah hewson x fem!reader (gracie abrams fc)
fic type — social media au
met you at the right time. this is what it feels like!
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♡ liked by gallagher_anais, izzyrichmond_, and 663,982 others
yourusername hello dublin!! i missed u angels sm 🫶 the last time i played a home show it was to a crowd of 200 at most & while i’ll always be grateful for those intimate shows and the family we built, i am so so so grateful and excited to play a sold out 3arena tomorrow with some very special guests ;) see you soon 💋
user SPECIAL GUESTS???? she’s definitely bringing inhaler out for a song or something
user no because didn’t she say on an ig live a few months ago that she helped eli write perfect storm…
user STOP ID CRY
joshjenkinson_ LFG!!!! 🤍🤍
user WHAT DO YOU KNOW JOSHUA.
evehewson beautiful beautiful girl 🫶
yourusername i love u to the moon and back by gorgeous eve ☹️💗
jordanjoyhewson ⭐️girl!! So excited for you x
user her friendship with eli’s sisters is so special to me
user im so excited i’ve been looking forward to this for months 😭😭
oliviarodrigo sososoooooooo proud of u baby 🥹
yourusername UGH!! my liv my life i love u too much
user you’ve grown so much in the past year im inconsolable
bobbyskeetz they were lovely leaves
yourusername getting the snow angel practice in early x
ynhq getting our bows ready!!
elijahhewson you betrayed me with that picture 💔
yourusername the job of a girlfriend is to humble, i’m sorry babe xx
phoebebridgers 🖤🖤🖤
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ryanmcmahon_15 just updated their story!
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♡ liked by jojolovedog, lizzymcalpine, and 721,798 others
yourusername thank u thank u thank u all for giving me the perfect end to an already perfect tour… speaking of perfect things…. thank u to my angels inhalerdublin for joining me onstage for an encore. i love u guys so much & performing with u was a gift in and of itself 🫶 i’ll miss performing live but i’m so happy to be able to settle down for a while with those close to me. i love u all so so so much. thank u for supporting me 💗💗💗
user do you understand how many lives were impacted by this show.
user this is my boobgenius
reneerapp born to serve 💋
inhalerdublin thanks for having us 🫶❤️
yourusername i was looking at josh when he typed this guys just fyi
ryanmcmahon_15 i, too, ❤️ inhaler!
nieveella stunning beautiful yummy delectable talented showstopping amazing gorgeous perfect (storm)!!!!!!!
yourusername love u sm ☹️💋
user my roman empire
katiegavs can i get a kiss… pls
yourusername anything for u 💋💋
user post concert depression has already started to kick in
user u and eli sharing a mic for the perfect storm chorus had me 🥹🥹🥹🥹 IM UNWELL
stellajones IT GIRLLLLLL
gallagher_anais don’t mind me, just sobbing in my little corner 🥺🫶💗
yourusername ani babyyyyy i love u sm ☹️☹️
yourusername updated their story!
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♡ liked by lilamoss, joshjenkinson_, and 699,810 others
yourusername a special thank u to this loser who means the world 2 me. don’t know why u decided to eat that paper but… i still love u forever and ever and ever and ever and… ever!!!
user omg the last pic in dying did they grow up together???
yourusername we went to the same playschool!! went to different primary & secondaries tho 💔
user THATS SO CUTE WTF
elijahhewson you love posting bad pics of me
yourusername you’re a leo you’ll be fine
elijahhewson love you and proud of you always 🤍
yourusername ILY BITCHHHHHHH
bobbyskeetz poor lad was starving
maisiehpeters so cute 🥹❤️‍🩹🎀
evehewson My faves ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user my alex turner & alexa chung fr
chappellroan IM CRYINGGGG YOU GUYS ARE THE CUTEST EVER
laufey 🥺🥺🥺💞💞💞
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killersfool · 6 months
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hii! not sure if you’re open to requests but i’m going to give u a few ideas! most of these are for elijah hewson😭
falling asleep on the couch, waking up to not only a blanket around them, but eli squeezed in behind them
being in the studio with the band and messing about?? making jokes and being silly!
kissing and dancing in the kitchen to an old singe they both like?
eli taking care of you when you’re sick and just being super soft and caring!
spending valentine’s day together!
something about the reader playing with eli’s fingers to calm them down?
softly smiling at each other from across the room and also reassuring touches!
telling each other how much they love them
them cuddling in bed and pulling eachother closer
hope these spark your writing :))))
Kiss It Better | ELIJAH HEWSON
here's a short little thing inspired by this request!
PAIRING: elijah hewson x f!reader
WORDS: 1.5k
SUMMARY: eli's girlfriend is ill, elijah comforts her.
GENRE: hurt/comfort, fluff
WARNINGS: references to throwing up
I've never been so ill in my life. My nose is so runny. I've almost used every single packet of tissues in the kitchen cabinet right under the sink — which used to be a lot and now is very little. I've thrown up my insides into the loo way too many times to count on my fingers. Bent over the toilet, eyes pricking with tears, I've never felt so useless. At least the thought of my boyfriend getting back after his gig gives me something to look forward to. But it's far too late.
I'm staring at the TV screen. I hug my knees to my chest, attempting to generate some warmth. The blanket is upstairs — probably hiding in the space between the bed and the wall. Surely, if I attempt to stumble upstairs now, I'll just get stuck and end up falling asleep in the corridor.
I can't stop glancing at the door. I'm hoping for a doorknob twist, knock, ring of the doorbell, stamp of boots, low and raspy post-concert voice. But I'm just met with nothing. No signs of his arrival. He hasn't called me. He usually doesn't. He likes to surprise me. After having the worst migraine of my life, it would give me some comfort if he just gave me a hug. A warm Elijah Hewson hug would cleanse my mind.
Starting to realise that the TV is doing more harm than good, I switch it off. I'm beginning to see blurry triangular shapes and my eyes burn like they're on fire. The living room is pitch black. I'm freezing. I'm tired. I take two paracetamol tablets and chug some water. Curling up on my side, legs on the armrest, I close my eyes.
-
I wake up. Sunlight gleams through the gaps in the white curtains. My body is wrapped in a duvet, soft and warm. Skin is against mine. Arms are around my body, squeezing me tightly. He's shirtless. I can tell by the tufts of chest hair flicking at my shoulder. His head is on my back, curls all over my skin, lips between my shoulderblades. I don't want to move. I don't want to speak. He's asleep. Gentle snores, deep breaths, in and out.
I must've fallen into a deep sleep because I have no recollection of his arrival or him ever taking me upstairs. I'm usually a light sleeper. This migraine fully knocked me out. That's the best nights sleep I've had in a while. I'm especially thankful I managed to escape from work for the rest of the week.
Elijah's normally the little spoon when we hug like this. It's funny how the tables have turned. I think I prefer this though. But lying awake and tracing the muscles in his back always seems to calm me down.
I want to ask him how the show went and the reason for his tardiness. He had been playing in Glasgow, thankfully only a few miles away from me and had bought me tissues, chocolate and gave me an endless supply of kisses before he had to run down to meet the band.
Opening my eyes fully, I take a peek over at the bedside table. He's brought me more tissues, face masks, more chocolate and a box of sleep teabags.
I realise Elijah's awake when his fingers start to walk along my bare stomach and his mouth is at the juncture between my back and shoulder. He pulls my hair to the side, presses his wet mouth to my neck. He smells clean. I'm sure he's showered. His hair feels a little damp.
He keeps pulling me closer. Arms tightening like he's a boa constrictor. Cool rings on my stomach, large hands tugging at the waistband of my shorts.
"You feeling better?" He asks, between kisses, tongue tracing my jugular vein. It's unsettlingly nice. His words are always gruff the morning after the show. All the singing takes a toll. Makes him sound more mellow. Sometimes I worry for his vocal cords.
"Not really." I groan. A mind-numbing headache is still prodding at my brain and the brightness of the sun makes my eyes burn. He's got a hand on my forehead, cool fingers against fiery skin — checking the temperature.
"God, you're pale. And you're burning up. I should get the thermometer." He gets out of bed. The loss of weight of his body makes the mattress shift. I glance over at him. His hair has stuck up at the top, his bare back glows under the sunlight. He stands up. Sweatpants cling loosely to his hips, revealing the muscles of his abdomen and a chain circles around his neck. He leaves the room — not even giving me time to utter a word of annoyance at the sudden lack of touch.
Then he's back. He crawls into bed. The thermometer is between his index finger and thumb. I look at the cross tattoo on his palm, see the concentration on his face as he plays around with the buttons.
"It's just a migraine," I say but he's already turning it on and pointing at my mouth. I roll my eyes and separate my lips. He gives me a sly smirk, just making me sit like that for a moment. Then he puts the device beneath my tongue and waits patiently. I'm trying not to laugh at how awkward this is. I close my eyes to evade his gaze but I can still feel the force of his stare.
"You've got a fever." Dr Hewson alerts me with his expert diagnosis although the furrow of his brows makes him seem unsure. He looks down at the numbers displayed, rubbing his face with worry. "A really bad one." He's now searching up on his phone what it means.
"Should I go to the doctors?" I shuffle away from him. I don't want him to catch what I have. He has gigs all week, I don't want to ruin anything for him.
He notices my movement. Shaking his head, he drags me back towards him, making me nestle into his chest. His eyes are still darting along a website.
"I think you just need to rest. I'll make you breakfast." Elijah kisses my nose before running downstairs with his mind set solely on making some decent food.
Through the corridor, into the kitchen. He's forgotten where half the things are in the room. Opening cabinets, searching through the fridge, putting water into the kettle. Most of the time he'll get his breakfast on the way to a show. Maybe a café, maybe he'll steal some food from Ryan. Today, however, he's lucky enough to not have a gig and actually have time to look after his girlfriend. Although he's definitely going to make a mess of the place.
His final decision is to make omelettes. Oil on the frying pan, ham—leaving it to heat up until it's a little crispy. Two eggs, cracked and swirled in a glass. Cheese on top, grated with masterful excellence—at least that's what he believes. Folds it over to make it fill half of the pan. Let's it continue to fry. Then he's running over to make a cup of tea. He uses one of the sleep teabags he bought. He's just about to plate up when footsteps echo behind him.
I have to stop for a second when I walk into the kitchen. It's a rarity to see Elijah here, cooking for me. We started dating at the beginning of the tour which unluckily means that he's hardly ever home. He has to leave early in the morning and gets back really late. Whenever he has days off, he takes me on dates and walks, or we just laze around at home, basking in eachother's presence. There's times when he brings me along to the recording studio so that I can reprimand all the band members or give an outside opinion of their new songs.
Elijah seems so focused on getting this omelette perfect. He's running around the place. He grabs two pieces of bread to turn his dish into an omelette-sandwich. I stand in the doorway for a while, just watching him. But, I can't stop myself from nearing him. As he cuts an apple into a slices, I slide my arms around his stomach, pressing my head to his shoulder. He sighs quietly. I breathe in his scent, his comfort.
"You should be in bed," he whispers, although he doesn't seem to want me to let go. I shake my head as he looks at me.
There's music playing on the radio. I turn it up. It's a song by The Smiths. I'm swaying to the beat, moving Elijah along with me. He's still carefully chopping fruit into perfect pieces. Watermelon, strawberries, mango. My mouth is watering just looking at the vast array of flavours.
Elijah drops his knife, turns around to face me. His hands find my waist, his lips find my neck, his head burrows into my chest like he's a mole hiding under soil. We dance along to the crackle of music, feeling the melodies trickle into our bones. Just his presence makes me feel better, every kiss turns my negative thoughts to mush.
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Text
elijah hewson bf headcanons
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a/n: im obsessed with this man and this band.
loves to lay his head in your lap while he plays his guitar, figuring out chord patterns for a new song hes writing
all the songs he writes are about you (duh), you're his muse. the boys constantly tease him for it but he loves it
has the cutest face when he's concentrated and you love it
loves to hold your hand, have his hands wrapped around your waist, hands on your lower back. any sort of touch
immediately finds you in the crowd and sings directly to you. he loves seeing you dance around in the back of the pit
rockstar bf x rockstar gf like its a must
wears on of your rings on a chain when you can't be at a show ( which is rare). loves to have a reminder of you
him and the boys are always asking for your feedback on new songs. you're always the one to hear it first
brings you on stage to sing a verse of a song with him. its giving "about you" vibes
going out to pubs just to show you off
still gets super nervous and flustered around you. even tho he is a major major flirt
going on tour with the band is your favorite thing ever, from joking with them on the tour bus to dancing at the venue
forever takes photobooth pictures with you. they always end up with him kissing all over your face. he keeps them everywhere, in his wallet, in his phone case, wherever he can
def friends to lovers, took him wayyy to long to make a move, but when he finally did he couldnt keep away from you
loves when you play with his curls. he knows how much you adore them and he loves you raking your fingers through it
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inhalerupdates · 8 months
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HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY ELIJAH!!! 🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉
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purfectstormzz · 6 months
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I wanna be yours | Elijah Hewson x reader
Summary: In which Elijah Hewson finds himself falling in love with the sister of a famous singer.
Pairing: Elijah Hewson x fem!Turner!reader
Warnings: Badly written story. (sorry guys)
A/n: the reader is about 24 so she’s way younger than Alex (hard truth; she wasn’t planned)
Masterlist
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It wasn’t a secret that the Turner siblings had a big age gap. At 13 years old, Alex was blessed with the birth of his baby sister. At first he wasn’t thrilled but when his sister finally arrived he was more than happy. He couldn’t deny the fact that he loved her more than anything, he promised his mother that he would protect and take care of her for the rest of his life. And he did, Alex made sure that every guy that came into her life treated her right and if they didn’t they were in a lot of trouble. At 16 years old Alex started a band with his friends and 3 year old Y/n was his biggest fan. She was at all the band meetings, the repetitions and even at their first gig.
Throughout the years Y/n grew up and became more interested in boys. Whenever Y/n came home with a boyfriend or just a boy in general, Alex made sure that he was a good guy and if they weren’t he made sure that they were too scared to even come back.
Y/n became older and Alex’s band became famous. Y/n loved being at their concerts and made sure to tell everyone how awesome her brother was. When she was 17 she discovered her passion for playing guitar. With a little help of her brother, she became talented in playing the guitar.
Now a 24 year old Y/n and a 37 year old Alex were closer than ever before. The Arctic Monkeys were extremely successful and Y/n couldn’t be more proud of her older brother. Y/n started her own music school for kids and teens who want to learn and play guitar just like her. But her full time job was supporting her brother at his concerts. Y/n tried her best to be at all of the concerts and she made sure to show everyone how proud she was.
“So have you guys found a new opener for your shows yet?” Y/n asked her brother while pouring herself a drink in his dressing room. “Matt found this new band who want to open up for us.” Alex answered getting of the sofa to get ready for the show. “Oh and have you met them yet?” the younger Turner asked. “I haven’t but Matt has and he said that they’re good so guess I have to believe him.” Alex answered walking towards his closet and pulling his suit out. “Alright sis I need to get dressed so I’ll see you after the show.” He said giving his sister a kiss on her forehead. “Alright, good luck.” She said before walking out of his dressing room.
Y/n made her way trough the corridors to get to her spot for the concert, she looked around the big hallways and couldn’t deny that she was lost. She didn’t know where she was supposed to go. She turned around a corner and walked further along the hallway. After walking for what felt like half an hour, Y/n finally saw someone who might know the way to the concert hall. “Hey sir can I ask you something.” She called out to the man in front of her. The guy turned around and y/n was met with the prettiest guy she had ever seen. “Sure.” He answered looking at the girl. His brown eyes looked directly into hers. “Do you maybe know where the private upper levels are?” She asked nervously. The boy gave her a smile before saying. “Sure, I’ll lead you the way.” The pair walked trough the hallways. “So, what’s your name.” The boy asked trying to make the walk less akward. “I’m y/n.” She told him. The pair turned a corner and walked further along. “What’s your name?” Y/n asked the brunette in front of her. “I’m Elijah but you can call me Eli.” He answered. “What brings you here Eli?” The girl asked. “I’m part of the band that’s opening for the band.” Eli said. “Oh that’s awesome. What instrument do you play?” Y/n asked. “I’m the lead singer but I also play the guitar.” The boy answered. The pair chatted a bit longer before they finally arrived at the upper levels.
“So here it is.” Eli said giving y/n a smile. “I have to get back to the dressing room because we have to be on stage in 10 minutes.” He said giving her one last smile before turning to walk out of the door. “It was nice meeting you Eli.” Y/n smiled after him. “I hope I’ll see you again Y/n” the brunette said before walking away into the hallway.
Y/n took a seat in one of the chairs sitting next to Amanda, Matt’s wife. The both of them talked for a few minutes until the lights went out. Four boys walked onto the stage and y/n saw Elijah walking up to his microphone. The band started the show by playing ‘These are the days’. Y/n sat in her chair admiring the boy that she just met. The crowd loved the band and the younger Turner couldn’t help but smile looking at the boy.
The band ended their set by playing ‘My honest face’ and then disappeared behind the curtains. Y/n sat in her chair waiting for her brother’s band to come on stage. She couldn’t stop thinking about Eli and how good he was on the stage. The girl was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the door to the upper levels open. “Hey, is this seat taken?” She heard a familiar voice say. Y/n looked up and saw Elijah standing there giving the girl a sweet smile. “No, no you can sit there.” She told him smiling at the boy. “So we meet again.” Eli laughed. The pair talked about the band’s performance and about how Inhaler got to open for the Arctic Monkeys.
Alex and the rest of the band appeared on the stage and the crowd went wild. Elijah still didn’t know that he was sitting next to the sister of The Alex Turner. The band started playing their songs and Y/n and Eli sang along together. The both of them enjoyed the show a lot.
After the show ended Y/n and Eli walked out of the upper levels. They turned a hallway before Eli asked her. “Could I maybe get your number?” Y/n turned around looking at the boy. “I know that we just met but I think you’re really nice and I really want to know you better.” Eli said looking the girl into her eyes. “Oh yeah sure.” She said before giving the boy her phone to type his number. Y/n and Elijah exchanged numbers. “I’ll call you when I get to my hotel room.” The boy smiled. Y/n couldn’t help but admire how cute his smile was, she got butterflies in her stomach every time the boy smiled.
Y/n and Eli parted ways. He walked towards his dressing room getting ready to go to his hotel room while she walked towards her brother’s dressing room.
Alex stood in his dressing room waiting for his sister. He was ready to go to their hotel but just had to wait for his sister. Y/n walked through the door giving her brother a smile. “You guys were amazing.” She smiled. “Thanks sis, let’s go to the hotel now.” Alex said giving his sister a tired smile.
The siblings arrived at their hotel and y/n went into her hotel room while Alex walked towards his. “Goodnight Alexander.” Y/n said knowing how much he hates it when people say his full name. “Goodnight kiddo.” He said back before walking into his room and shutting the door behind him.
Y/n sat on her hotel bed looking at her phone. She was waiting on the call from Eli. After waiting for a while, Eli finally called her. She picked up the phone and heard his tired voice through the phone. “Hey.” Eli said, you could hear the smile in his voice. “Hey, did you get to you hotel oké?” Y/n asked him. “Yeah we got here pretty easy. A few crazy fans but nothing we haven’t handled before.” He laughed. The pair talked for another hour before Eli asked. “Do you want to go do something?” Y/n was speechless. She couldn’t think anymore, was he really asking her out?? “Of course I want to go do something with you.” She finally answered after staying quit for a bit.
Eli and Y/n made plans to go to a café tomorrow afternoon before both of them went to bed. Both of them fell asleep with the biggest smile on their face. They couldn’t wait for it to be the next day…
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dublinskeetz · 3 months
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞
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hello! welcome to my page, i’m a fairly new writer here on tumblr but have been a member since about 2021, and i’m excited to get to write about the things i love, so welcome ‪♡
rules!
i will not write any form of smut, i just don’t feel comfortable and will probably not be good at it lol
i do not write for any character or person that is underage
i do will not and do not condone any writing of things like SA, kidnapping, murder, etc. basically anything that’s wrong and rlly weird to read/write.
who i will write for:
f1:
daniel ricc
charles leclerc
lando norris
oscar piastri
carlos sainz
and more!
inhaler:
all members!
requests are open! i’m very open to requests as long as they are within my rules lol so thank u!! ‪♡ i will also do smaus so pls req those as well!! thank u!!
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orangeinecstasy · 6 months
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inhaler bf thoughts please please please please🙏
an: AAAHHH YES IVE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS!!! had to do ryan first because i love him so much.
ryan bf thoughts ฺ。*:・
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quality time!! he will 100% just pop over to your place so that he can be around you. he doesn’t care if you’re just sitting on the couch as long as he’s with you
move dates! can totally see him wanting to try out different theaters and maybe even a drive in. also you totally make him watch the 1996 romeo and juliet OMG AND WHIPLASH!
#1 passenger princess. he doesn’t care that you’re the one that can drive he loves it
spa days were you guys do face masks
soooo many pictures of you on his phone. we all know and love his random aesthetic instagram stories and you’d be all over them
park dates
late night music sessions where he constantly asks your opinion on lyrics or how something sounds
songs dedicated to you at shows - would put out when i’m with you from the vault just to play it for you
constantly sending you songs that remind him of you
definitely have some sort of couples item like a matching necklace or ring. but it’s something simple like a silver chain or a small band. nothing too crazy that screams i’m matching with my partner
going back to the romeo and juliet part - definitely did a couples costume based off of their party outfit
definitely soft launched the relationship. he just wants to feel like yours and his and not another third parties
definitely wants to be the little spoon after a long day. you make him feel safe and happy and he wants to be fully engulfed in that comfort
reading together
wearing each other's clothes. because he's a short king you both can totally swap clothes super easy
sending him edits you find of him on TikTok - i KNOW he thinks they're super funny and secretly LOVESSS them
calls you before every show when you're not there
museum dates-- i feel like he would want to go to an art museum most of the time, but you would drag him to a science one at least for one of the dates
baking together-- he always tries to eat the cookie dough and you always tell him he'll get sick
painting your nails together
can 100% see him wearing a ring of yours on a chain around his neck. maybe your claddagh to be a bit cheeky
when he's sitting next to you he definitely will drum on you thigh or tap his fingers against to some rhythm that's stuck in his mind
dancing in the kitchen together late at night
such a big words of affirmation guy
music store dates where you guys try out interments and pick up a few new records
so so so many coffee shop dates
wine tasting in italy
an: the other three guys bf thoughts are already in the works. i wasn't sure if i should be a nsfw section for inhaler's but lmk if you guys would be interested in that!
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leaawrites · 5 months
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Masterlist
Requests are open!
Look into the tags to see who I'm writing for!
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Harry Potter
Golden trio era
Shower Secrets, o.w.
Happiness, t.n.
Under the mistletoe, l.b.
Little life, l.b.
Mauaraders era
Ribbons in your hair, r.l.
Percy Jackson
Take away the pain, p.j.
Underwater, p.j.
Flowers, p.j.
Stars in her eyes, p.j.
Valentine's day kisses, p.j.
It's nice to have a friend, p.j.
Distant Lover, p.j.
Midnight hour with you, p.j.
Rumors, l.c.
Hsmtmts
Our Place, r.b.
tolerate it, r.b.
Marvel
Snowfall, p.p.
Celebrities
Inhaler
Missing you, r.m.
Original Work
It's nice to have a friend (story)
Cliffside (poem)
From Paris, with love (poem)
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kindestofkings · 5 months
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in a world of boys, he's a gentleman
ryan mcmahon x reader
authors note: this is so sweet and fluffy you'll probs need to visit the dentist, but its for all you ryan girlies out there xx
yourusername
location: italy!
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
yourusername italy you have our hearts, lush few days away before pretty boy goes back on tour <33
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ryanmcmahon_15 you could come with me...
yourusername loveee I've got school :(
yourmum photos look fab darlings!
yourusername thanks mam💗💗
elijahhewson about time you give that handsome fella back to me !
yourusername posted on their story:
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-yourusername harrys house ready!!!
ryanmcmahon_15
location: harry's house
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
view all 200 comments
yourusername I adore you almost as much as I adore Harry Styles.
bobbyskeetz wow mate thats saying something
yourusername SO proud of you boys!! have come along way since workmans x
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
ryanmcmahon_15 my number one supporter the whole time inhalerfan1 who is this girl? inhalerfan2 shes ryans girlfriend! pretty sure they've been dating since they were like 17ish
inhalerfan2 incredible 🔥🔥🔥
inhalerfan3 you made harry’s house a harry home
yourusername
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liked by joshjenkinson_ and others
yourusername corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture...
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joshjenkinson_ THEY'RE THE SAME PICTURE
bobbyskeetz how hard is it being a sidepiece even tho you've been been dating ryan for 8 years?
yourusername i've become desensitised at this point elijahhewson better to be a side piece over a no piece xx joshjenkinson_ no piece hahah yourusername how are you the same man that wrote if you're gonna break my heart??
inhalerfan1 you get it
ryanmcmahon_15 its not what it looks like....
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername FACT Ireland is beautiful this time of year. FACT my boyfriend is the cutest and I miss him terribly. FACT my brain hurts from school.
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ryanmcmahon_15 all the hard work is gonna pay off !!
(liked my yourusername)
yourmam forget about that tour business, shes miserable here! ryanmcmahon_15
yourusername mammmmm making me look uncoolllll ryanmcmahon_15 😂😂
inhalerfan1 I just found out about her a week ago but these two are my parents
inhalerfan2 do you mind me asking what are you studying?
yourusername no of course not! i'm doing a phd at the moment in human rights law, in dublin <3 inhalerfan2 no way thats so cool! bobbyskeetz our brainbox !
yourusername
location: holibobs!
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername love a travel moment we do x
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ryanmcmahon_15 you feelin moody with your b&w theme?
yourusername trying to channel my inner lewevans ! hows it working ? lewevans a little too good, please dont put me out of a job !!
elijahhewson hes travelled to more places with me, just saying :))
yourusername yeah but does he kiss you in a photobooth? yourusername ACTUALLY DONT ANSWER THAT I DONT WANT TO KNOW GUGGI joshjenkinson_ you defo dont want to know.. yourusername ahhhhh JOSH
yourusername posted on their story:
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yourusername my favourite person dressed up as my favourite singer and I have to watch it through blurry insta lives 😭😭
replies
ryanmcmahon_15 lovieee thought you'd enjoy it, now i feel cruel yourusername dont its literally the best thing you've ever done, never looked hotter!
bobbyskeetz
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liked by joshjenkinson_ and others
bobbyskeetz the ryan fella is a scrubbed up even though tour is over? confusion
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joshjenkinson_ looking good for the big day 🔥
inhalerfan2 explain yourselves please!!!!
elijahhewson officaily lost him 💔
inhalerfan1 oh my god what is happening!!!!
inhalerdublin
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
inhalerdublin it may not be music related news but we have a NEWLY WED in the band, our lovely drummer finally tied the knot with an even lovelier cailín <33
view all 450 comments
joshjenkinson_ crackin day!
elijahhewson still emotional, OUR PARENTS
 bobbyskeetz hangover of hell today but it was worth it 🤘🏼🤘🏼
evehewson what a stunning bride, congrats !!
lewevans the best just got better! thanks for including me in the big day
yourusername are you kidding me? THANK YOU for your amazing photos! (liked by ryanmcmahon_15)
inhalerfan1 you are joking me this is so beautiful
inhalerfan2 why am I crying over two strangers getting married?!?!
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername just had a dream weekend and married my bestfriend.
never imagined getting married so young but when you know you know, and you certainly do not let a man like ryan pass you by.
my husband <3
view all 100 comments
ryanmcmahon_15 the love of my life, my wife <3
inhalerfan1 literally the most beautiful wedding ever!
inhalerfan2 awhhhh congrats!
yourmam such a beautiful day celebrating you two!! my favourites xx
inhalerdublin our parents 💗💗💗
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
--finito--
lol dont even know where that marriage came from Im still undecided if i believe in the concept, but its cute lol!
hope you enjoyed <3
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sirenlulls · 10 months
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you're losing me → e. hewson
pairing —elijah hewson x singer!fem!reader
summary —where you release a new single that sends your friends into a heartbroken panic
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sarahskeetz guys, before you go crazy about the eli and y/n rumours, please use some common sense and reevaluate. y/n's wrote countless songs about how elijah is her soulmate AND how media is often so wrong and invasive in regards to their lives and that people shouldn't believe things unless either of them say it directly. plus, these pictures of them were literally posted last month. she'd hardly have prepped you're losing mebto be released in that amount of time
username no fr, even if they did split, they don't deserve the harassment they're both getting online for it
joshjenkily litch. they should be allowed to deal with it in their own time
ynbridgerss okay but the clear parallels between these songs and ylm....
pheebrodrighoe no I get you but y/n hasn't interacted with any of the inhaler guys in a month despite being active online for her tour and even camilla (the number one eliyn stan) hasn't mentioned them since those photos
ynkissmeee lowk hope the rumours are true, he's been leeching off her for years 😭
judebellinghams omg shut up what are you even talking about 💀
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yourusername thank u for all the love tonight, la! it's been a hectic week at best so it was lovely to just enjoy the night with you all 💞 but onto the elephant in the room.... i'm still very happily in a relationship with my little babygirl. "you're losing me" is written about my former relationships (mostly platonic) with others that i finally realised were TOTALLY MESSED UP after being with someone who loves me wholeheartedly for so long xx thank you all for the people who did send kind messages my way but please stop listening to gossip sites 😭
sahraskeetz THANK YJE LORD
camillamorrone guys my tweet was bcs y/n ditched me to get food w 🤢eli🤢
yourusername i brought u back a tiramisu shut up
ynxcamistan QUEEN YOU HAD US GAGGED
gracieabrams mother!!
ynhq thank god, we didn't want to leave elijah completely alone in the divorce 💔
robertkeating ❤️❤️
phoebebridgers so in love with you
devonleecarlson stop girl i was giggling over the articles 😭
bellahadid ok stunner
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killersfool · 6 months
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I Want You | ELIJAH HEWSON
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PAIRING : elijah hewson x original f!character
GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: dahlia jenkinson, josh’s sister is asked to fill in as photographer at his bad’s concert. her plan is to ask him out by the end of the show as she’s been crushing on him for ever. what she doesn’t expect is that one of their songs was written about her—and she’s right there when he confesses it.
WORDS: 5.6k
WARNINGS: smoking, drinking, kissing
Friday. Underground. London.
I run through the station passing the endless people, posters and children's screams. My brother, Josh, had asked me yesterday to help out at his band's concert. He'd told me that their photographer had gotten COVID so he needed someone to fill in.
I dragged my roommate along with me as my moral support, seeing as she's heard me spill every secret in my mind about the band's lead singer, Elijah.  I've been helping Josh with his band's endeavours for years and have also had to condone countless sleepovers. I've had the sound of drumsticks crashing together engrained in my head by this point. Robyn has always told me to 'stop being a pussy and ask Eli out on a date' but honestly, I'm terrified I'll ruin everything. This photography thing has really helped to get me new jobs and more exposure.
"So, you still crushing on Eli?" Robyn asks. She's been glancing over at my phone for the past few minutes. I've been texting the band group chat that I've been added to. They usually kick me out randomly. This is the longest period of time I've been in it without having an argument. I'm pretty proud.
"Shut up." I scoff. "If you dare say anything to any of of them, I will kill you."
"I wouldn't," she laughs. I give her a look. "I'll try not to..."
"You and your big mouth."
"I can't help it."
"I shouldn't tell you things."
"Who else would you tell?" She grabs at my phone, noticing a message from Elijah pop up.
It reads: "Missed you. You've always been the better Jenkinson." I try to contain my smile at the stupid message. It's just a couple words beneath a name on a screen and I'm getting all nervous. It's pathetic. God, this is getting bad.
"That's cute," Robyn says and is about to start writing a message back until I snatch my phone back. Who knows what kind of bullshit she'd start sending. She'd surely send some terrible pictures of me. That's happened on many ocassions. I've learnt my lesson to never trust her with my phone.
"Cringe." I type back, although the smile on my face is betraying the words on the screen. I stare at his profile picture for a few seconds. It's a selfie of me and the band. I look half asleep, probably drunk. Eli's hair is all over his face and Josh is squeezing Ryan's cheeks. Bobby is just angrily staring at the camera. He definitely didn't want to be in that photo. It's sweet that Eli has kept his profile picture that way for so long. We haven't seen each other in months. I send another message, "Well you're not my favourite Hewson."
He sends an angry emoji. "Who is then?"
"Bono, course."
He sends a few more angry emojis before spamming the group chat. There is already some kind of argument happening. Robert seems to be late and they're all asking where he is. I switch my phone off, sliding it into my pocket. Robyn's been unusually quiet.
"What have you done this time?" I ask with a subtle tilt of my head. She's chewing on some haribos she'd bought moments ago. She then smirks to herself, "Nothing."
I'm a little worried but decide to brush it off. We leave the train station and I'm struck by the freezing air. I sometimes forget how cold England is. Having moved from Ireland over a year ago, I feel like I should've acclimatised. But, why is it always so cold? I hold my jacket closer to myself to try to warm up.
We pass at least ten people with 'I love London' shirts. Sounds of street sellers are familiar along with the hustle and bustle of late London nights. I see the London Eye twisting in the distance. Big ben is tolling. The venue comes into view a few streets away. I'm dreading it slightly. I feel as if I'm not going to cope this time seeing that ever-so-familiar face. It's as if with each passing month, he gets better looking. It should be crime. I'll probably melt when I see him.
I instead focus on seeing Josh and my excitement for seeing the gig. They've all really improved over the years. They really know how to put on a good show. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. It'll be fine. Surely.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" Robyn takes notice of me fiddling with my earrings. It's become some nervous habit. I find a comfort in twiddling the crystals between my fingers.
"A bit," I say. Honest. "What if he finds out? We'll surely get piss-drunk. What if he only wants to be mates?"
"Lia, darling, you've got to stop overthinking it. After hearing all these stories you've told me, it sounds like he likes you a lot," she says, grinning. "I'll tell you if I see any looks passed or anything suspicious, okay?"
"You're the best." I give her a hug, forgetting for a moment about the crowded streets around us. Robyn hugs are always too good to be true. I sometimes forget how unbelievably short she is and how she tries to suffocate me with her arms.
Just as we're about to continue down the endless streets, I see someone running past us. I barely even realise he's passed me until Robyn points him out. I see long, curly hair and a massive case swung over his shoulder. Bobby. Then, he turns to face us. Blue eyes catch me off guard then a massive grin. He seems to question whether he should stop or get to the venue. He's very late.
"Is that the bassist?" Robyn wonders. "Robert?"
"That's me," he says, retracing his steps. His mullet has gone all messy in the autumn wind. He's trying to swipe away a few stray hairs from out of his face. "Hey Dally. Who's this?" He points towards my friend with a lazy smile.
"This is Robyn. My roommate. She's the one who accidentally stepped on a pigeon."
"Ah." He then turns into his bird lover mode. "How could you do that to a poor, helpless bird? How could you? Can't believe you're called Robyn. That's a disgrace. Wish I was called Robyn. Or sparrow. Or some kind of bird. God, do I love birds—"
"Okay, Robert. We get it," I interrupt with a finger in the air. He crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. Robyn is laughing at his angered demeanour. He always puts on this irritated-sarcastic face in moments like this. He looks like a child after stepping on lego.
"Aren't you late?" Robyn asks the blue-eyed boy. His phone has been pinging with notification throughout the few minutes they have been walking together. He seems to be a little stressed. I have to almost run to keep up with this speed of impossibly long legs.
We approach the venue. It's a huge, pretty rundown building which strikes out in stark contrast to the fancy buildings around it. The words 'Inhaler:tonight' are written on a chalkboard beside the entrance. The place really matches the band for some reason. There's a queue of fans outside. A lot of them are sat down on the pavement. They scream at the sight of the bassist, piling around him. Phones are being held up to take pictures of him.
"Sorry guys, I've got to get inside. Thank you for coming," Robert mumbles.
Robyn and I act as body guards, preventing anyone from getting too close. Banners have been dropped onto the ground, passersby glance over in confusion. There's colourful cowboy hats covered with jewels everywhere. That music video really drove the world crazy. It definitely drove me crazy. I probably make up at least half of the views.
The majority of the crowd continue to take photos. Some say 'Oh my God, that's Josh's sister!' I give them a smile whilst simultaneously pushing Robert forwards.
We finally get to the back door. The gathering give up after a while. They go back to the queue, attempting to slot in to their previous place.
"Well, doors haven't opened yet so you can't be that late," I remark. The front doors are still locked.
"I'm missing sound check though."
I hear music booming quietly through the walls. I open the door, pressing down on it with fingertips. It creaks open to a long corridor with white plastered walls. It smells of fresh paint. The light is barely even attached to the ceiling. It looks like some horror film scene. Creepy.
But then Josh comes around the corner. His guitar is slung over his chest and his face lights up to reveal a huge smile that I've always adored. He's taller than the last time I've seen him. He runs straight towards me, engulfing me with his arms. I'm uncomfortably pressed against his guitar but I couldn't care less. I'm so glad I came. I missed him so much.
Robert slides past us and Robyn awkwardly stands in the doorway. I introduce her to my brother. He gives her a hug as well. She seems to enjoy this whole situation a lot. She's getting all loud and giddy.
The rest of the band are still playing through songs. They're running through 'Dublin In Ecstasy'. Elijah's voice is echoing through the entire building, sliding it's way through my skull. There's a part of me that wants to turn back. I could just make my way back to my apartment, have a cup of coffee and stalk Twitter accounts of people who went to the show. I definitely haven't been doing that for the past few months. I'm not that insane. Or obsessed.
"Do you want to listen to sound check or hang out back stage?" Josh asks us. He's been talking to Robyn, getting to know her and she seems to like him, thankfully. It'd be downright awkward if she hated his guts.
"I'll follow you," Robyn says to Josh. She starts to traipse down the corridor. I watch her curls bounce from side to side as she jumps with every step. She suddenly realises that she's left me behind. "You coming?"
I groan, staring at the door. "Yeah. Fuck it."
I pick up my camera in preparation. I've been using the same one for years. It's got stickers all over it. Some of random bands, some from different countries and little letters spelling out my name. Elijah had bought me a few pages of letters of the alphabet as a birthday present when I turned 15. I still remember that day. We were all huddled inside my living room after being drenched by a sudden storm. There were about fifteen of us, including the band. The fireplace before us was the only source of light in the darkened room. I think I was dating Ryan at that point. That was a strange time. He was sweet. It only lasted a couple of weeks. Elijah had a girlfriend too. Younger me was very jealous. I think that's what made me realise I liked him.
Now, fast forward eight years and my heart is beating in my ears like I'm a teenager all over again.
I allow Robyn to go first. I trail behind. Josh has left us to our own devices and we try to figure out where exactly we're supposed to go. We decide to follow the sounds of music booming. Closer and closer. We go down a staircase, open a door then we're right at the stalls, just beneath the stage. The door crashes so loudly that all of the band stop playing. They all peer down at us.
The band name 'Inhaler' is upon the wall and coloured lights paint the stage. This room is a lot nicer than the exterior. There's a standing area then seats up along the top. The walls are painted a deep shade of crimson with gold lines intricately painted everywhere. It's too good to be true. It feels so weird being at one of their gigs again. It feels even weirder to see all of them in the same place at the same time.
I trace my gaze along the stage. I take a quick glance at Josh who is tuning his guitar, then Ryan who's staring at us with wide eyes. I shift my eyes a little further to see Elijah. He's dropped his mic at the sight of us. I take notice of the length of his hair. It's falling over his eyes, a mess of curls shrouding his face. He's wearing a white vest top and a bulky blazer which is holding onto his shoulders for dear life. I can't see him very well from here. What I can see is the complexity of his gaze. The way he's looking at me is making me nervous. I take a deep breath.
"Dahlia?!" Ryan calls out. He drops his drumsticks similarly to Elijah.
"Surprise?" I say. I thought Josh had told them I was coming. "Wait, did Josh not tell you?"
Elijah picks up the microphone from the ground, not taking his eyes away from mine. "Josh, you gobshite. I thought she was coming next week," he says into the mic, words jumping through my ears. I hate how warm his voice is through those speakers. It's sickening.
"Well, I'm not complaining." Ryan jumps down from the stage, giving me and Robyn a hug. It's a group hug where we're all squashed together. He's grinning from ear to ear.
"You're still short," I say. I can still look down on him, especially with my chunky boots. He rolls his eyes.  "This is Robyn." I introduce my roommate to both Ryan and Elijah.
"Nice to meet you," Elijah murmurs as he jumps off the stage. He's left the mic on the stand. He's pushing his hair from his face.
Robyn gives me a look, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Elijah. She's got a malevolent smile. What's she going to do? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her.
"I've heard all about you." Robyn gives Elijah a little wink. I kick the back of her leg .
His lip raises the slightest bit. I find myself staring at his mouth for far too long. There's stubble lining his chin and a splatter of freckles on his cheeks. "Have you, now?" His low voice drifts through the air. He's maintaining eye contact with me. I'm trying to evade his gaze.
"She's exaggerating." I assure him, trying to stop myself from giving Robyn another thwack.
"Eli! We have like 5 minutes until door opens and Dublin In Ecstasy is a mess. Get up here. You can swoon later." Robert is already playing the introduction to the song. Ryan and Josh join in.
"Swoon?" Eli shakes his head with a grin.
"We're just that amazing," Robyn whispers to me.
I hold up my camera, taking a picture of the three lads on stage. Then I point it at Elijah. I take a few of his confused face before he leaves us to sing along to the music.
"He's whipped." Robyn watches as he climbs back onto the stage. "Likes you so much he can barely even function-" She points out how he can't even plug his guitar in. He's been trying to shove the lead in for a while but his eyes are wandering elsewhere. "You've got to say something to him. He's leaving tomorrow, isn't he? Maybe tonight.."
I breathe in. "Alright. I'll try."
Robyn and I hum along to the tune. Elijah's rough vocals make my mind go cloudy. He sounds so much crisper in person. I think back to the cuts and bruises vinyl on my shelf. Robyn had bought it the day it came out. Josh sent me every version possible. Robyn went on about supposedly being 'the first person in the world who bought it'. She said she saw the record in HMV and instantly thought of me. We had stayed up late that night to listen through each track. Eating popcorn, drinking alcohol, talking about random shit. That was when I told her everything about Elijah. From the schoolgirl crush, to the trying to forget him then to the full-blown infatuation. She enjoyed listening to every detail I had to offer.
Elijah continues singing. I'm holding my breath, my palms are sweaty, I feel my heart pulsing at my throat. Robyn is swaying to each beat of the drums. Elijah won't stop looking at me.
Then the song ends and we all tun backstage, in an attempt to evade the incoming fans. I hear shouts echoing in the distance. We've gathered in a little room backstage. Josh is showing me some fancy chocolates he bought in Rome. I'm taking pictures of the band members. Robyn keeps photobombing. I rest my head upon the armrest of the sofa, closing my eyes. It feels nice. Calm. Until, someone settles beside me. They grab my legs so that they can properly sit down. The hands are cold and fingertips are calloused. That someone is Elijah. "Excited for the show?"
He's got his pre-show drink in one hand and his phone in the other. I close my eyes once again.
I shift around in the soft cushion attempting to get into a more comfortable position. He scoffs and pulls my legs up by the ankles to rest them over his thighs. "I know you're tired," he says. He takes a sip of his drink. "But if you dare fall asleep during the show, I will throw my guitar at you." I move my legs around his thighs then actually raise my head to look at him. I take a picture as he makes a stupid face. I don't know how he can do that whilst still looking pretty.
"Is this comfortable?" I ask. He's been very still. "I can move if you want."
"It's nice... fine," he mumbles as he scrolls through messages on his phone. "Reminds of that music lesson. Must've been our first year of secondary school. You fainted after some practice test we did. We were sat in this exact position for at least an hour. I think my legs stopped working."
I try to bring my head back to the memory. He was so different back then. Shorter hair, insanely asthmatic. He only knew me as Josh's twin sister. Somehow that was enough for him to stay there with me and keep me safe. After that, he had some complex where had to look after me with his life. It was charming.
"I had to kick you about nine time because you feel asleep, " I recall. My mind is wandering through moments I can barely even remember. "You were so strange."
"I could've left you there in the practice asleep. You should be thanking me for saving you from embarassment-"
"Why, thank you. Oh how you've changed my entire life. I owe you all that I have."
He shakes his head, squeezing the skin at the bottom of my ankle. He then rests his hand there. As if it's normal. He's still reading through messages, biting the top of the plastic cup.
"When do you lot go on then?" I ask everyone.
Robyn has started drawing eyeliner onto the other boys. She just pulled it out of her pocket randomly and asked if they wanted her to do it. They've filed into a queue. She's done some graphic liner on Bobby with little stars that makes his bright eyes pop out all the more.
"Ten minutes." Ryan is putting some hair gel through his hair. He puts some music on using a bluetooth speaker they placed in the corner. Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley comes on. I'm trying to stop myself from falling asleep but it's getting harder with each passing second.
"I'm so excited," Robyn says as she does Josh's eyeliner. She's made his more smudgy and messy. It suits him a lot.  "Elijah, should I do yours? Or Dahlia can do it?" She passes the tube towards me. There's some malicious intent behind her eyes. I narrow my eyes down to the black contraption, taking it uneasily between my fingers.
He lays down his phone and drink. He's trying to push all the hair out of his face to give me some access to his eyes. I kneel down on the sofa beside him. I grab a hair bobble from my wrist then tie the top half of his hair up. He groans as I pull some strands way too hard then relaxes into my touch. He smells like cigarette smoke and cologne.
"How should I do it?" I wonder out loud. I've opened the tube and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He looks like his teenage self with his hair like this. His eyes are maintaining a hard eye contact as I near him. There's a warmth rising to my face.
Robyn pulls out her phone and shows me a picture of Rodrick Hefley. I snort. "Try it like that," she says.
Elijah closes his eyes as I begin to draw little lines then smudge. I've grabbed his chin to keep him in place. I can feel the sharp stubble poking at my fingers. He opens his eyes every now and then. They're half-lidded, watching. I poke his eye by accident. I scold him for opening his eyes. He decided to instead keep them closed.
I admire my work once I've done. It's not my best liner but it's alright. The other boys gather around to get a look at him. His hazel eyes come into view and he smiles widely at the sight of us all. "Does it look good?"
"Looks class," Ryan says as he grabs a mirror. The other boys nod along.
Elijah looks at himself. He seems to not know if he likes it or not. He smiles at me and says, "Thanks, love."
I just smile back, pulling out the bobble from his hair. An unruly splatter of curls cascade across his forehead. There's something about him wearing eyeliner that's stopping me from thinking straight. It's different. I'm still sat half on top of him, one knee resting on his thigh and the other on the sofa. He helps me off of him then stands up.
He ruffles his hair as he says, "Let's get going lads."
The four boys grab everything they need for the show. Water bottles, instruments, drumsticks, their sanity. They all give each other a group hug. It must be some pre-show ritual because they all down their drinks at the exact same time. If that wasn't planned, it was uncanny.
"Good luck." I wave them off and they travel down the corridor in a straight line. As each of them walk out, I take a picture. Elijah is the last to leave. He stops in the doorway, still holding his plastic cup. He raises his lip to reveal his white teeth as I take the picture. He really enjoys making the strangest faces.
"If you don't get our best angles, I'll have to think about firing you." Elijah warns me just before he turns around. He then disappears down to another asylum-like corridor before I can get a chance to insult him. I let out a breath.
"That went well, right?" Robyn's trying to figure out what's going through my head. I can't even comprehend anything that just happened. The feel of his hand still lingers at my ankle. "That whole time you were talking to Josh about those chocolates, he was staring you down. It was pretty creepy, to be honest." She laughs. "Don't even get me started on the eyeliner. All of us felt like total third wheels."
"Sorry," I say. I play around with the bobble at my wrist. It had been wrapped around those glorious curls only moments ago. "God, I'm so in love it hurts."
"That's how I felt when I started liking Emmy. Literally all I could think about was her." Robyn is in a daze, eyes glued to the wall. "You need to do something before it's too late."
"After the set, I will tell him." I finally accept my fate. I could possibly not see him until next year. Or the year after. Who knows how busy I could get?
"Good," Robyn says. "I'm tired of hearing Elijah this Elijah that. Girl, I get it."
"You had an Emmy this Emmy that phase. Don't even start."
She frustratedly sighs. "Come on. I think they're going on."
I hear the crashing of drums reverberating through every wall, every floorboard. Slowly, we approach the main room. The bodyguard lets us through to the wings of the stage. I can see all the crowd from this angle. There are phones, cowboy hats and banners littered through the crowd. Some of the audience are people we had seen when Bobby was surrounded. They're screaming at the sight of the band.
The first song they play is These Are The Days. I keep my camera handy through every song. Elijah takes notice of us standing there. He steals a glance at us when he has a chance to breath. He's singing a lot stronger than I'd ever seen online.
Then they play through a few more songs on the new album. I sing along, I dance, I try not to get blinded by the flashing lights. Then all of a sudden they've finished playing Love Will Get You There and he turns to look right at me.
"This next song..." His words are pretty slurred. He's drunk. "This is an old one. I wrote this when I was about 17. There was this girl at my school who I just liked so much— I couldn't even focus in class. I played it to her once we'd got it perfect and she had not a single clue that it was about her. She still doesn't. It's been six years and I've never told her." He pauses and looks at me. "This is for you."
I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I raise an eyebrow at him. He just starts strumming along with his guitar. That's when I realise he's playing I Want You. They'd played that song to me in Elijah's garage. I asked him who it was about. He lied and said it was about his ex-girlfriend. I never thought twice about it. I never listened to it because it made me sick to my stomach that it was about her. A girl who I had been so jealous of.
"You got your lipstick on..." He starts singing. He's literally pointing at me. The crowd looks confused. They can't see me.
"Oh, Jesus," Robyn exclaims. "Oh, wow. I can't believe this. He's fucking confessing! Dally, I'm so happy for you right now. What the hell!"
Robyn is just as shocked as I am. We're both slack-jawed, wide-eyed yet caught in a silence as the song goes on. The crowd sings along with each and every line. The other members of the band have caught on with what is happening. They all seem to be pretty proud. Especially Josh. He's smiling so big it's making me smile too.
The truth is, I don't want the song to end. Or the show. I just want this moment to drag on forever. It all feels too good to be true.
The song finishes, the lights switch off, the crowd screams. I'm left in the darkness. Robyn is holding onto my side for dear life. The only thing illuminating the world around us is a tiny light bulb above us. My eyes start to get used to the darkness. I see a figure approaching.
"Can you come with me?" It's Elijah. His cheeks are tinged a shade of bright red. There's sweat lining his throat and his chest. He's taken off the blazer and has slung it over his shoulder. The eyeliner has bled down a little.
"Yeah..." I'm exasperated. My throat is raw from singing so much. My brain can barely process what is happening around me. My hands want to reach out and hold him close to me.
He grabs my hand, pulling me down through a corridor. We're both running towards the back door. I'm trying to match his pace but his longer legs give him an unfair advantage.
We finally reach the exit. He opens the door for me, allows me to pass through then shuts it. I'm met by London streets. Brick walls, crooked alleyways, a rubbish bin. It's not particularly romantic. But, with him standing there in front of me, it becomes the most romantic place on Earth.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like that," he admits. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you when you left. I was going to tell you at the airport when you were about to leave Dublin. So that you could think it through without us seeing each other every day. Then I got fucking terrified."
"I was going to tell you then too." I press my back against the wall. He's pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He offers me one. I let it rest between my lips. "I had plucked up some courage after I went to the toilet but then I sat beside you and forgot the whole script I'd planned out in my head. That was a pretty awkward five minutes. Felt like a century."
"We're idiots, aren't we?" He says as he lights his cigarette. "Josh has always known. I don't know how he never told you. He's great at keeping secrets. Six years of keeping his mouth shut. I don't know how he has that much self control."
"Six years?" I blow out a puff of smoke into the air. My eyes wander across the star covered sky. The moon is looming and watching us.
"I know." He's blushing again. He's trying to keep his distance from me, leaving a slight gap between us. "I'm pathetic."
"I liked you for longer."
"What?"
"Eight years. Since the day you started dating the blonde girl." I feel stupid saying it out loud. He's laughing at me.
"That's class."
We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I can hear ambulance sirens and birds calling. The brick walls is hard against my back. My shoes are covered in water from standing in a puddle. I can imagine that there's a camera above us. This could be a scene straight out of a film.
"Are you going to kiss me then?" Some sudden burst of confidence brings those words from my lips.
He's taken aback. His eyes fall down to my mouth. He then takes a step closer. I can feel his breath at my cheeks.
"Do you want me to?" His voice goes all low and his accent gets thicker. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. Metal presses against my cheekbone. His thumb lazily draws a line across my bottom lip. His words hang in the air. "Dahlia, my love. Do you—"
I press my lips to his. I can't hold back anymore. I can taste the smoke on his tongue. His mouth is minty and his lips are soft. I've imagined this moment countless times. In a bookstore, in a train station, in the garage. But, this is perfect. Perfect.
My fingers sink into his hair. He groans into my mouth as I pull a few strands at the back. His thumb is sliding across my cheekbones. He's dropped the cigarette to instead use his other hand to clutch my waist. My hands are at his chest. His heart is beating incredibly fast. He holds me tight against him until I feel his chest rise and fall. Up and down. Breathing in and out.
We hear voices behind us. He pulls away quickly. We both turn to see a group of fans. They're teenagers and they're all dressed in bright outfits. They didn't see anything but they seem rather suspicious, whispering.
"Eli! Oh my God!! Can you take my BeReal please?" One of them shouts over.
Elijah runs his fingers over his lips. His ears are a pink shade. He slides his hand away from my waist.
"Yeah, sure!" He approaches the three girls with a small smile. He's trying to act normal. "I love your hats." He points at the 3 cowboy hats which spell out the word 'Inhaler' when they're all stood side-by-side.
"Thank you so much!" The darker haired girl passes him her phone. "Your eyeliner looks so good. You should do it like that more often."
"I had a grand makeup artist." He winks. I roll my eyes.
"Could Dahlia be in it?" The girl with glasses notices how I've awkwardly shifted to the side.
"Course she can," Elijah says.
I stand in the frame next to Elijah as he holds up the phone. His lips are red after being stained by my lipstick. I drop my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes. He nestles his face into my hair as he takes the picture. We're both giggling like lunatics.
I'm so glad it happened like this.
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totallyarabella · 6 months
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People who hate on other‘s favourite bands/artists into their faces are so mean, like why is your negative opinion on a certain type of music SOOO important that you have to ruin the genuine happiness and excitement of the other person????? Ew????
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