#s: hellsing abridged

[ap-kinda-lit]

Capsule Corp Board of Directors, watching Vegeta on television: Uhm...forgive me, Miss Briefs, but who is that...?

Bulma: Oh, him? That's just my lovely husband we were talking about earlier. This is what happens when he doesn't have anything to entertain himself with.

Board of Directors: ...

Bulma: So what were you saying about the budget?

Director #1: Budget? What budget?

Director #2: Shut up and take our money!

#s: hellsing abridged #incorrect quotes #incorrect dragon ball quotes #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #dbz #vegebul #vegeta #bulma #bulma briefs #capsule corp #hellsing abridged #hellsing ultimate abridged #vegeta x bulma #bulma x vegeta

[harveyb-wabbit92]

Zoffy: What did you do?

Seven: Okay, I'll tell you, but you can't get mad at me.

Zoffy: What. Did. You. Do.

Seven: Well first, I was just minding my own business-

Zoffy: Bullshit!

Seven: I was!

#S: hellsing abridged #ultraman incorrect quotes #tokusatsu incorrect quotes #tokusatsu #ultraman #ultraman zoffy #ultraseven

[yandereaffections]

Hello, I was wondering if I could have headcanons of hellsing Alucard and abridge alucards reactions to an s/o who kinda goes along with ‘dating’ them because the s/o thinks they’ll get bored of them eventually. Thank you

The two of them will pick up on your "go with the flow" behavior quite quickly, or at least the more well behaved Alucard pointed it out and the lunatic of the relationship slowly followed suit on figuring out why you seem to put so much more energy in other things than with them

To be clear Alucards plan was never to straight up ask you, he's been hidden in the shadows of the Hellsing manor simply observing you, seeing how your actions towards others varies from the two vampire kings that are on your ass constantly. Of course when Abridged Alucard figures out the variation of him suspects anything he immediately ruins whatever progress was made via stealth and corners you

Whether you do admit that this "relationship" with them is all a matter of time to you or not the Crimson Fucker is the first to laugh at you, in your face with no remorse. Thankfully the other Alucard can hold himself together a bit better though you swear his sinister smile seems much wider than before. Needless to say they're quick to correct you, as if they'd ever grow bored of their little bunny, and expect to see your old indifferent behavior in your time with them change very soon. You're the beloved of two monstrous maniacs, don't think you can simply slip under their radar.

#alucard #yandere alucard #alucard hellsing #yandere hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard x reader #hellsing abridged #alucard abridged #yandere Hellsing abridged #hellsing #hellsing imagines #hellsing headcanons #hellsing x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere imagine #yandere x you #yandere x y/n

[autumnaaltonen]

Alucard Courting HC's

I realized I unwittingly missed the point of a former request, which asked for courting hc's for Alucard trying to get the attention of his s/o. I think I was just so excited I forgot 😅

But hey, more writing room in a seperate post.

Ok. So. You know how if you repeatedly provide food for crows in an open space, they may eventually start leaving little bits of trash and trinkets?

That's Alucard.

If he's out on a mission and finds something shiny, interesting or just a little bobble he believes you'll find joy in, it'll show up in one of your common spaces.

It's a little weird at first, having a sparkly rock, a couple pretty buttons, or even a fox tooth, appear on your beside table every morning like you were visited by a soot sprite in the dead of night.

But you live in Hellsing Manor. Stranger shit has happened.

You put the little trinkets in various bowls and chests around your room, appreciating their eccentricity and special comeuppance. Eventually you run out of places to put these items, in which, to your horror, little ornate boxes start appearing as well.

Very nice box, for my trinkets. Another box for my trinkets, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Obviously, the invisible force that keeps providing these gifts takes notice of your enjoyment, because their efforts slowly start getting more extravagant over time.

We're talking a scuffed up string of pearls, gold coins, a fucking vampire skull (you have to go to Integra to get permission to keep that one...), and even a diamond ring.

Of course, you eventually start asking around, scared you were being stalked after the whole trinket box ordeal.

No one knows what the F you're talking about. That's when your search ends with Alucard.

He was the last person (is he a person?) you were going to go to, somewhat intimidated by the man...monster...fuck, whatever he is.

Alucard obviously plays dumb to your inquiry, but you catch his vibe. He definitely knows something, so you begin to hang around him a little more between his missions.

He's far more friendly to you than you would ever imagine.

He takes you on long strolls in the woods (get your mind out of the gutter, abridgers)

He brews you tea and coffee, despite not indulging in it himself.

He walks and converses with you as you admire the artwork in Hellsing's hallway.

For god’s sake, he has debates with you, WHILE RESPECTING YOUR OPINION. WHAT!?

Eventually he does admit to being the invisible bird behind your trinket collection. You press him for a reason why, but he remains aloof to your question and quickly changes the subject.

His courting efforts finally reach a head when a member of Hellsing's taskforce takes an interest in you.

He puts an end to that song and dance REAL QUICK.

One day, while the soldier was putting the moves on you, Alucard materializes through the wall and gives you a twirl.

"My dearest, Y/N. Join me for another stroll tonight?"

♬ My dearest, Y/N. With a comma after dearest ♬

You give him a goofy smile and a nod, to which he picks up your hand and gives you a long kiss on your knuckle, delivering a glare to the soldier who stood awkwardly to the side.

Oh boy, were you in trouble.

#alucard #hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard x reader

[fo-enjoyer]

I need to make a Hellsing abridge version of my s/i and compare them to my normal s/i because it would be really funny

#I don't know if other people make abridge versions of their s/i but I really want to #the series already exist and is kind of funny sooooo #s/i

[valentines-wh0re]

🔥 maybe about hellsing ?

Wooooof, i have alot to say. And take this as you will, these are just my opinions.

Unpopular opinion: Hellsing abridged sucks balls and the jokes are ass. ‘Check your privledge’ when i throw a massive rock at your repetive joking ass ….bitches love canons my ass💀

Unpopular opinion: Every organization in Hellsing is shady and fighting over who is the worst is stupid.

Unpopular opinion 2: Hellsing isn’t sunshine and rainbows and people are allowed to like/simp for problematic characters without condoning their terrible behavior. Get over it.

Unpopular opinion: There is no right way to interpret a Hellsing character and people who say they “know the character better than anyone and anyone who thinks differently about said character is invalid” are kinda weirdly gatekeepy/elitist tbh.

Unpopular opinion: Shitting on someone’s headcanon on a character’s S/O body pref and or sexuality/gender identity is sad tbh. Let people believe what they wanna believe.

Unpopular opinion: Harrassing someone because they like a Millennium character isn’t doing anything but causing unnecesarry drama.

Unpopular opinion: Integra x Alucard is mid (As a former fan of that ship)

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Rip’s death, i feel like it should have been done differently and not in a sexual light, idk it’s weird.

Unpopular opinion: sexualizing schrödinger is disgusting especially if you’re an adult.

Unpopular opinion: Shipping the Valentine bros is honestly weird as fuck, seek help.

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing fandom #just my 2 cents #hellsing organization #hellsing millenium #hellsing iscariot

[cocolacola]

Omg i love Heinkel she is just a mentally ill gay like me

I would love to see some Heinkel headcanons from you

sure thing!!

most of these are based upon things we can sorta just infer about the series since hirano loooves to leave things open-ended, so some of these are moreof theories/explanations than anything if that's alright.

i put some big organized lists of hcs below the cut :)

to start i'll talk about some general fun stuff! (assuming that's what you're here for):

i always use they/them for pronouns for heinkel. mostly because there's a lot of alternation between he and she in different translations and that doesnt sound very cis to me honestly. but i rock with people who use any pronouns too.

i also see lots of ppl say theyre a lesbian and i feel like that miiight just be a byproduct of The Abridged Effect but i dont really have a label on them. they have their freak shit going on with makube so whatever that is

not a natural blonde and is very diligent about taking care of their hair. only lets their roots grow back in once they start getting older and stop giving af

gets a prosthetic arm and leg after the london attack. we know injuries inflicted before becoming a regenerator still stick around (because of anderson's scar) so walter inflicted permanent damage there.

didnt really listen to mainstream music until they started hearing it from other people like seras and makube. heard classic rock after twenty plus years of exclusively angelic choir music & opera and their brain almost exploded

their dynamics with other characters:

was raised with yumie/yumiko at the orphanage so they have a sibling bond, but they drifted a bit in their teen years/early 20s until enrico made them partners in section 13 again. it was awkward for both of them for a bit but they eventually came into their own as iscariot's dynamic duo of murderers. theyre generally pretty serious with each other but sometimes the cain instinct still kicks in

they view enrico as their boss but still fondly remembers their times together as a kid. mostly just thinks he's pathetic, but in a loving way.

anderson is a very clear father figure to them, and as iscariot's next regenerator after his death they feel like they have impossible shoes to fill; theyre very hard on themselves for that reason. the way he died definitely contributed to heinkel's self destructive habits

they had met integra through enrico before the events of hellsing and just... hated her to death. but in a funny almost homoerotic tension way. if seras was there she would have lost her mind over it and would have been overprotective to some degree

now here's some details on the time skip in general:

heinkel was rushed to the vatican (or maybe some other section 13 base) very soon after the battle of london, not a moment too late. if they were taken anywhere else they would have died of blood loss, but was given the choice to become a regenerator human like anderson for a chance to save their life. heinkel accepts because they believe walter is still out there and wants a chance at revenge. it worked and hence heinkel is now seemingly immortal/doesnt age.

side tangent is that i think becoming a Regenerator ends the aging process at whatever time you take it which explains why anderson's age is unknown and why heinkel looks the same in their supposed 40s/50s

after finding out walter had died and their battle was meaningless they were in a dark place for a long time. they were having trouble properly taking care of themselves after becoming a regenerator (i can imagine it's probably pretty weird!!). while still being a part of iscariot they were sorta benched by enrico's regent (before makube) from entering any of the organization's affairs for the next few decades. they were sort of left to rot in a way, which certainly didnt help with the grief. they considered reaching out to the hellsing organization but couldnt bring themselves to. they still somehow managed to become acquaintances with seras after the battle since they shared the same struggle and losses, but that's about it.

side tangent 2: i think seras and heinkel would genuinely become close after integra's death, but that's very far in the future

enter makube about 15-20 years into the timeskip. makube arrives in section 13 as a bishop and a new caretaker to heinkel, and is hellbent on helping them out, since theyre being "neglected" by the current archbishop, and makube regards heinkel as very important for being one of the few remaining veterans of the war in london. them forming a genuine bond would come afterwards, but that's how it started. overenthusiastic makube and tired heinkel shenanigans ensue and somehow they become tied at the hip. makube would become the archbishop quite a few years after this, and heinkel by extension sorta just becomes their de facto mission buddy.

that's all my heinkel thoughts for now! thanks to everyone who showed interest :)

#I ❤️ HELLSING LORE YIPPEE!!!! #ill do a post for yumie yumiko and makube some other time #all i have for makube rn is that i also use they/them for them and theyre in their 40s #as of the time skip scene at least #hellsing #heinkel wolfe

[zwoelffarben]

On Vampires, Buckets, and Identity

Act 0: Prologue's Preface

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged is a now concluded parody series sourced from Hellsing Ultimate, a ten episode OVA produced between the years of 2006 and 2012 by various production studios, which was itself adapted from mangaka Kouta Hirano's Hellsing.

The Abridging was produced as a yearly halloween special by Team Four Star, most notable for their Abridging of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, as well as their offical dub of the Studio Madhouse production Hell(S). While Team Four Star tends to follow the plot of the source material when abridging, their process fundementally changes the story's characters, tone, framing, messaging, and pretty much everything else; despite this, we'll still provide a brief summary of the source material that Team Four Star was using to create their series. This summary analysis will undergird the rest of the essay paper as we, hopefully, build toward something resembling a thesis statement.

Act 1: The Ultimate Baseline and Its Abridging.

Hellsing Ultimate is the second anime adaptation of Mangaka Kouta Hirona's Hellsing: Because the first adaptation–also named Hellsing–was produced based on a then on-going serial manga, it had to fabricate its own ending after it caught up to the source text, resulting in an ill-foreshadowed and rushed conclusion climaxing in a vapid fight between the primary supporting character, Alucard, and the anime-only villian, Incognito. The primary purpose of Hellsing Ultimate is to more closely follow the source material in order to maintian a strong narative throughline, and provide the viewer with the Ultimate Hellsing experience.

That incredibly obvious pun asside, Hellsing Ultimate follows former policewoman Seras Victoria, who in the first episode is forced to choose between dying or becoming a vampire: after choosing to become a vampire, she joins the monster hunting organization her sire, a vampire named Alucard, belongs to and comes to grips with her new reality as a blood drinking non-human. It doesn't really take a deep dive into the meaning of humanity, nor is there a thorough examination of Seras new relationship with the concept, but it plays water polo in the shallow end of that existential question.

The other characters in the story exist to facilitate her narative as either mentor, foil, and/or antagonist: Alucard does the majority of the fighting against nazis and catholic church; but, despite what convention would suggest, his primary narative purpose is to be Seras's semi-antagonistic mentor figure. In theory, you're there for the Alucard's action sequences; but in praxis, the text lends itself better to a Seras-centric reading.

The abridging is an irreverant piece of satire that completely shifts focus away from Seras's character arc in favor of focusing on its version of Alucard; and this isn't a bad decision: Team Four Star wrote a satirical piece which takes the mick out of how inherently absurd the nazi B-plot is while making pot shots at the Catholic church and folding contemporary memes and cultural references into the script. Its nature demands the tropes it's upscaling to draw humor from be made more accessable to the audience, which demands they be placed more centrally within the text, which inevitably shifts Alucard's role in the story from supporting cast toward main character.

I don't really remember much about the source material's Alucard: I don't really find him interesting, and anytime I try to think about him, something the abridging's Alucard said springs to mind because, unlike the source material, abridged Alucard has a unique persronality. So, in this next section, I'll spare myself talking more than a cursory amount about Ultimate Alucard, a character I don't remember, and focus instead entirely on Abridged Alucard.

Act 2: Alucard is a Mary Sue that Loves to be Hated.

Abridged Alucard is an asshole. He's a misanthrope, a misogynist, a toxicly masculine person, an entitled prick, and he has a near antipathy for empathy.

Both versions of the character share some similarities; Each is canonically queer while being coded cishet. This is one of the traits Team Four Star actively draw more attention to in their version of the character but it is in the source text.

Both Alucards are the strongest character in their respective story by a wide margin. The story needs to invent a reason for Alucard to be absent before the nazis can stage their invasion of Britain. Otherwise, the story would be wrapped up before it could start. This position in the text as the strongest character doesn't detrement either text, since neither text uses narative tension as its core engagement; the source material focus is on spectical and Seras's arc: The abridging keeps some spectical but shifts from character drama to humor driven by absurdity, memes, and character dynamics.

This last one is where I feel the text fumbles most: Everything about the words, "hey dandy dick, missed me: wowowowowo," is funny because of the absurity and memetic reference built into the phrase; but, Alucard's insufferable personality makes it difficult for me to find his half of any exchange relying on character dynamics funny. 

Overly sarcastic production's Red did a trope talk about the term Mary Sue, discussing at length, the term's origin and meaning: her final conclusion is mary sues are characters around which plot and other characters bend; we already touched on Alucard's gravitational influence on the plot, and he has that effect on characters as well: characters trying to pull away from him only to have the plot suck them back in.

As alternative to the term 'Mary Sue', and its messy gender connotations, Author etc, Chris Winkle coins the twin terms candy and spinach. Whenever a text glorifies a character by showing them as strong, confident, cherished, or generally awesome, that character is being candied. Similarly, when the text humbles a character by depicting them as weak, vulnerable, lonely, or generally pitiable, that's spinach. Analysis within this framework is based on the ratio between the two; sueness is what generally happens when a character is over-candied in a text.

And if there's any character that has too much candy, it's Alucard; the most important character around whom the plot bends, for whom typically strong-willed characters cow. And even when the text attempts to throw spinach at him, most often a character insulting him, he eats it like it's candy because one of the things I haven't mentioned yet, he loves being hated. No one wants to play cards against humanity with him and that gets him off.

To shift gears, The Problem with Rick and Morty is an essay by Renegade Cut which discusses at length how that work frames its asshole character Rick in an excessively possitive light, and how that framing directly feeds the toxicity of the Rick stans in the show's fanbase. The bulk of the essay is specific to the text of Rick and Morty, but there's an overarching argument which can be extrapolated from the essay as well: When characters with negative traits are framed by the text as good, that can cause the audience to ignore those negative traits, or worse, see them as possitive characteristics and when assholes become role models, you start seeing more assholes. 

Alucard is very similar to Rick, both his essential personality as a gifted asshole, and the text's framing of him as unflapably correct. The rare exception to this comes in the series's epic conclusion, a ten year long therapy session with himself in which he realizes that he's kinda a bad person: that discussion starts by ruminating over "20,000 people [he] impaled."

But, throughout the rest of the series, the text frames him near unanimously as explicitly correct: The most concrete example of this framing comes with the introduction of the main series antagonists at the end of the first episode. Alucard suggests the group behind the uptick in vampire attacks might be nazis, his boss dismisses it by calling that idea a pejorative, and the show immediately smash cuts to the major douchebag saying as if to the audience, "gentlemen, we are nazis." This set up has a reminder at the end of episode two, and a pay off at the end of episode three when Alucard tweets: "It's Nazis #Called It."

The second major example is also set up in episode one: When murder-priest Alexander Anderson begins making a dramatic speech, which 'by coincidence' appears word for word in the movie Boondock Saints; Alucard calls him out on it, Anderson denies it, and the story moves on. There's a reminder every time Anderson shows up, and then the pay off comes when Anderson with his dying breaths gives one last speech, and in a rare moment of sincerity Alucard cites the bible verse it comes from. Anderson's final words vindicates Alucard initial interaction with him: "No, Boondock Saints. I fucking love that movie."

It's not just plot relevant moments either: In the early episodes, Alucard has a throwaway line: "Give that bitch a cannon: bitches love cannons." and throughout the series, this gets repeated by him and those around him until it is a truth universally acknowledged, that bitches love cannons. And, there's nothing wrong with bitches loving cannons: cannons are great. But, it's another example of the text framing Alucard as correct while leaving the problematic undertones of his character, in this case his casual misogyny, unchallenged by the text.

He stands unchallenged as an all-hating sexist, racist, nihilist, and the worst kind of hedonist: his rape jokes punch up at rapists and down at rape victims; when it suits him, he feigns innocence or plays victim: but, all the people in his life who his bibotry hurts are forced by the gravitational pull of his nondiagetic importance to the text to tolerate his bullshit; but, not without telling him he's an ass which is exactly the reaction he wants. 

He's a over-candied sue and a bibot: The Abridging only directly challenges Alucard's world view once in the series when Alucard fights Rip Van Winkle. And even that challenge is used to frame him in a positive light, because– it's not so much a fight as it is the one-sided murdering of a nazi tumblrina.

Act 3: The One-Sided Murdering of Nazi Tumblrina Rip Van Winkle

First things first: Rip Van Winkle is a nazi, and I unappoligetically depise nazis: they and their ideaology put my grandpa in a camp along millions of other persons innocent and I've no interest defending nazism. Ever. That makes analysis of the Alucard VS Rip Van Winkle fight rather difficult because I want to defend what Van Winkle represents in the subtext without creating an implicit defense of her nazism by conflation with the text. Because it's easy to accidentially conflate text with subtext, I wanted to make explicitly clear in the text of my analysis that any defense I make of what Rip Van Winkle represents does not carry an implicit defense of what she is. Nazis bad. Okay? Okay.

Returning to Hellsing Ultimate to establish another baseline for comparison, Ultimate Van Winkle is so lacking in characterization that she fails the lamp test; that is, her role in the plot, isolate Alucard from the rest of the cast so that the plot can happen while he's stranded on a boat, could be equally well accomplished by a particularly desireable lamp, and the story wouldn't suffer too much from the change. She gets a bit of characterization as a vindictive person and a cowardly commander, but there's no depth behind those basic traits.

Because the source character was so blank, it's not surprising that Team Four Star was able to easily inject new characterization into their version of Van Winkle. It is, however, surprising that the way they did it created the most philosopically deep fight in the work without changing a single story beat. Even though I strongly disagree with both the question posed and the conclusion provided, and we'll get to those, I must admit that managing that, even by accident, is something praiseworthy; so good job, Team Four Star for making a philosophiy driven fight: You did a writing good.

At this point, you're probably wondering the philosophical position each side takes up, and what the over all conclusion the fight provides. Rip Van Winkle is a Tumblr-er, and she acts as a stand-in for the unique mix of fandom culture and social justice discourse that was and is emblematic of the website. The text admittedly never names or even indirectly references the site, but, anyone familar with the internet landscape at the time would be able to instantly recognize she's coded that way; Her first major deviation from it source material has her tell the man she's about to kill to, "check your privilege"; and, while not coined on tumblr (as it predates the dotcom boom), the phrase was popularized and introduced to the general lexicon by tumblr discussions. At time of first release, My Little Pony, Doctor Who, and Homestuck were three of the biggest or most active fandoms on the site; of these works, Van Winkle directly names the last two on screen and the last one off screen which one of her subordinates then alludes to. The way in which the text derrides her as 'random' and 'begging for attention' are the most common critisms leveled at tumblr's user base; and, I know that because those critiques were the main reason I didn't start using tumblr for a long time specifically because I didn't want them pointed at me.

Van Winkle could have been meant as a more general critique of internet culture; since portal and rick asley's never gonna give you up, aren't specifically associated with Tumblr to my knowledge, but heading down to the notoriously toxic fountain of paratext that is the youtube comment section evidences that the majority of the audience agrees with the first reading of the character

Wait, how'd that third one get in there... disregard that. Also, yes, this is enfact what youtube looks like on my computers. I use the Stylish extension and a modified google dark mode style.

It is both understood and meant to be understood that Van Winkle is a characture of the audience's image of tumblr. She is the straw woman which the narative props up so that Alucard can knock down.

Intermission 1: A Play by Play of Alucard Vs Rip Van Winkle

Having discussed the characters, it's almost time to discuss what their fight means, but before we do that, we should quickly provide a beat by beat textual reading of the scene.

Rip Van Winkle is singing: She suddenly stops as Alucard approaches by plane. Van Winkle shoots the plane out of the air, causing Alucard to crash, unharmed, into the deck of the ship. She shoots at Alucard. It does nothing to him. she shoots more, emptying her magazine, and rebukes him as a "patriarchy propigating misogynist pig." Alucard catches the last bullet with his teeth, still completely unharmed, and rebutts.

"You know, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there, except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I hate everyone equally, and there's no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference, so in other words miss Van Winkle: check your privilege." Alucard throws a single punch and then kills Van Winkle by slowly stabbing her with the bayonet of her own gun. He drinks her dying blood and fight is concluded, Alucard having completely curbstomped the opposition.

Act 4: The Fight's Argument

So, Alucard, the character established as a bibot, handedly defeats the social justice warrior represented by Van Winkle; proving once and for all that social justice doesn't matter. If you check off enough boxes, either by being marginalized in some way or by providing value to society despite your shity behavior, you can earn a get out of conequences free card. This is of course, not true; but, it is the argument the fight presents.

It's also an argument greatly undermined by the rest of the text, although the contradiction will take a bit more groundwork to show, because here's a bit I cut from the beginning of the essay to hide the fact we were going to need to talk about Homestuck in this essay until you were hopefully too invested in the essay to immediately click away, kinda like reverse clickbait.

Alucard: "There's no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference Me: Kismesissitudinous demi-pansexual aromantic. Alucard: ... Me: What?

That label perfectly describes Alucard's sexual orientation, and I perfectly understand the terms which compose it: I'm someone who is, at time of writing, alive, and I understand his sexual preference; meaning that while Alucard is enfact still likely marginalized for being queer, his rebutal to Van Winkle must be at best hyperbolic or misinformed. And, I'm going break its back like it's the Batman by examining each part in detail, starting from the most simple and devoting an intermission for the most complex part of the identity, so that you too can be cursed to bear this burden with me.

But first, a bit of lexical housekeeping. Alucard says sexual preference and what I'll be discussing at length is his orientation (of attraction); these are not techically the same thing, but in causal speech sexual preference is often meant to mean orientation. This is because while there are several kinds of attraction, the most commonly discussed form of attraction is sexual attraction, so it often gets used as synecdoche for the whole deal. 

Sexual attraction is about who people are most inclined to feel attracted towards sexing. While it can be informed by gender, as with homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality, gender isn't something that informs Alucard's sexual attraction. He is pansexual, meaning that he feels attraction regardless of gender. If it can consent to sex, Alucard can want to fuck it. 

But, that attraction isn't immediate. Asexuality is a complex range of sexualities which don't always feel sexual attraction or feel very little of it; This is important to Alucard because his attraction only occurs after he's fromed emotional connections with those people. This is demisexuality, which here acts prefixes to modify his pansexuality: he can feel attracted to anyone, but he has to have another emotional connection with them first. 

And an analysis of Alucard's orientation would feel incomplete without mentioning his romantic attraction, or rather his total lack of one. To simplify for brevity, if sex were entirely physical, romance would be entirely emotional (neither are, but again, we're simplifying for brevity). Romantic attraction is about who you're inclined to want to give emotional fulfillment to and receive it from. And just like there are asexuals that don't feel sexual attraction, there are aromantics that don't feel romantic attraction; note, that a lack of attraction is not necessarily a lack of activity: asexuals can have sex and aromantics can do romantic acts; they just don't necessarily feel the attraction. Alucard is aromantic, which at first seems to contradict his sexuality since demisexuals need emotional connections to feel sexual attraction; but, Alucard doesn't have feel attraction to the people he forms those emotional connections with; they just kind of happen. 

So, with the three easy and straight forward terms out of the way, I have to explain kismesissitude: Gods help me murder Andrew Hussie.

Intermission 2: Homestuck, For Some Forsaken Reason.

Homestuck is a now concluded long running web comic series written by Andrew Hussie centering around the paradox inducing shenanagains of ten humans, twenty-four trolls, a number of cerebum, and several other species; as they all quest both for personal growth and to herald the birth of a new cosmic frog multiverse which the surviviors of the narative can settle into: It's a glorious mess and one of the works Rip Van Winkle directly names. But more importantly to Alucard's sexuality, it's the work which coined the term kismesisstude.

I'll spare you an exhaustive explanation about the buckets and bulges and just give you the cliffnotes, which are required context, on how Hussian trolls reproduce. As a species, trolls need to both love-fuck and hate-fuck each other; and the more intense the emotions behind those fuck sessions are, the better it is for the next generation: That's as specific as I'm both willing and required to get about troll sex, because what actually matters to the essay is the model of attraction informed by their reproductive needs.

Simplifying to the point of inaccuracy, humans experience one type of attraction, whereas trolls divide attraction into quadrants, each represented by a suite from a deck of cards; Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs, and Spades. And, all of what human's call attraction fits into the first of these quadrants. Matespriteship, represented by hearts, is who you want to love-fuck. 

The second quadrant, morealligence, approximates to platonic soulmate. This quadrant's purpose is to provide a means to mellow out the most beligerant trolls.

Next is auspisticism, which is uniquely a relationship necessarily between three people. When a couple's dynamic is too weak, volitale, or toxic, a third party joins in to stablize the relationship: this helps prevent toxic matespriteships and more commonly toxic kismessissitudes from forming, speaking of...

The final quadrant is kismesissitude. A portmantue of kismet and nemesiss, the word's meaning approximates to fated-enemy. Whereas matespriteship is attraction based on love, kismesissitude, fitting represented by spades which look like upside-down heart, is the attractive force informed by trolls reproductive need to hate-fuck. It's the opposite of love while still being a form of attraction.

And, it's the final term you need to, like me, fully comprehend Alucard's orientation.

Act 4 Act 2:  Alucard's Sexual Preference, Or How He Learned To Stop Oppressing and Not Hate Everyone Equally.

Alucard is a kimessitudinous demi-pansexual aromantic, that is, a individual who experiences little to no romantic attraction and whose sexual attraction is driven by a hateful or spite-filled emotional connection with others regardless of their genders.

Why does this matter and how does this undermine the philosophy of Alucard Vs Van Winkle Abridged?: did I use this essay as mere pretense to spread the suffersome understanding of Hussiean troll sex and romance? Maybe, but there's also a greater thesis I'm building toward, probably.

Alucard is canonically queer; even if you reject my reading of his orientation as a kesminessitudinous demipansexual aromantic: He was a chick in the forties after all. But, he also lacks the language to accurately describe his queerness in words: if he could, there'd be people who could comprehend his orientation. And not being able to describe one's personal experience can be an isolating and painful experience, especially if in the absence of healthy labels you adopt and internalize toxic labels. When Alucard rebutts Van Winkle, he does it in part in anger, tragically pointing that anger at the one character who could best help him resolve the source of that anger given the chance.

In the cynical world of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, liking things is chided by both text and framing: remember how Murder-priest Alexander Anderson refuses to admit he's ever even heard of Boondock Saints, the movie "[he] fucking loves," until his dying breath. This tendancy to deny sincerely liking things means that characters like Van Winkle who openly like things other than sex, murder, and murder-sex, are rare: Van Winkle is likely the only character in the work that even knows what Homestuck is, meaning she's the only character that could possibly have the language Alucard needs to express his identity, because remember kismesissitude was coined in Homestuck.

The text immediately and effortlessly kills her, implying that she and by extension the things she likes, are unimportant; and this is the contradiction I've been building toward pointing out. Van Winkle herself is proof against the final part of Alucard four part rebuttal: she represents the type of people who would be best equipped to understand Alucard's orientation. And the other three parts of his rebuttal unravel much more quickly:

His boss is a women, who he doesn't respect.

He was a chick in the forties, and should therefore know better.

He hates everyone equally, which is any bibots favorite dog whistle.

When Van Winkle calls Alucard out for being a patriarchy propigating misogynist pig, she has a point: and all Alucard can offer in response are back to back fallacies of special pleading, which were also discussed The problem with Rick and Morty, cited early. He claims, indirectly, that because he is marginalized, and he should be allowed to contribute to the marginalization of others: Maybe, he really does hate everyone equally, but in doing so he harms some more than others.

Intermission 3: Why So Serious‽

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged doesn't take itself seriously: it's an satirical absurdist commedy: another fight in the series sees Walter attempt to have a serious discussion with Alucard, and Alucard completely refuse to engage with that conversation, opting instead to crack dirty jokes. The message of that fight was that the work wasn't meant to be taken seriously and that we the audience should just have fun. This intermission is aimed at addressing the tension between a non-serious work and a serious analysis of that work, and I feel the best way to do that is to explain why I wanted to write this essay.

This essay was made in response to a joke written nearly a decade ago; that's ultimately what Alucard's rebuttal is meant to amount to; a joke, that admittedly I found funny the first time I heard it. I was reportedly cishet white man (lol re:discovery of my own queerness) growing up in a conservative town, and my only experience with marginalization that I registered as such, was my left-handedness. I laughed at the apparent absurdity of having a sexuality so complex people couldn't understand it; because at the time I thought it was simple: You like who you like: you like-like who you like-like.

When my younger sibling came out as trans, I had to unlearn a lot of my internalized transphobia, and while doing that, I naturally learned more about sexuality as well; and the more I understood, the more I knew I didn't know. The absurdity that the joke hinged upon began to break down as because I was starting to understand that attraction is messy and some folks don't know who they like and like-like. And, as I dove deeper into tumblr culture, I began to more fully comprehend Alucard's orientation: the language I was learning slowly helped me construct a label that could fit him, and I realized that that joke that was never meant to be taken too seriously could actually be used as the jumping off point for a conversation about the importance of identity language. 

This essay isn't taking Hellsing Ultimate Abridged more seriously than it was meant to be taken; it's more or less just using it as a springboard to delve into a serious discussion that already exists. Alucard is the way he is; but, without the words to describe his orientation, he's trapped in an unfun misery.

Act 5: What Identity Language Is Not

There are many harmful tropes in our society that I imagine we're all aware of at some level, and if your not aware of them, I envy you for living in the post-bibotry society of the future or being too young to have developed a strong theory of mind, but I digress. Specifically there are ideas about identity and the use of identity language which I want to argue against in this act as a foundation for building toward the reasons I believe identity language is important, so that maybe, at some point before the end of the essay, I can get to my damned point. 

The first of these tropes is that any deviation from the normative social default is something done for attention. It's a claim that non-het orientations, non-cis genders, atypical neurotypes, disabilities, etc, are adopted preformatively as a way to stand out amongst the crowd; It claims that all expressions of individuality amount to nothing more than peacocking; and this is the poisonous tap root that anxiety about one's sense of self can grow from. The induced sense that you might be hypochondriatic, that you might fake something for attention, that you're not really experiencing what you're feeling—a feeling reported by a large swath of mentially ill folks—starts here. But people don't, in my experience, just say they have depression for attention: they have depression. People don't say theyr different from the social default for attention: they do it because the socially default human doesn't exist. Everyone is unique, cliché as that is.

The second thing I hear sometimes that I want to put to bed is: "That word's made up, so the identity it expresses is less valid." Here's Thor with the perfect counter argument:

The content of this essay is a longer-winded but still hopefully compelling counter argument. I discuss at length the orientation of a fictional character using language developed to describe the range of orientations experienced by a fictional species from an entirely different work; and yet some how it's miraculuosly likely to be the only word that accurately decribes Alucard. Young words are no less valuable just because theyr young; nor is their value purcluded by a origin in fiction, spirituality, or un-science: identifying with a zodiac sign, a myrs-briggs type, or an aspect and title is the non-arbitrary process of selecting which arbitrarily defined categories apply to you. Even if the word is for one person, even if that person had to coin the word themselves, it's all human and it's all important. 

The last thing I want to argue against here is that identity language is just a collection of unimportant labels: and that identifying with (or being identified as) an identity pidgeonholes a person into acting a specific way and makes it harder for them to freely express themself. It's true that harmful labels which do those things do exist, and that theyr techically with in identity language's wide rainshadow; but, that's not all identity language is: there's more to identity than slapping labels on thing and calling it a day, which neatly segways into the next section of the essay.

Act 5 Act 2: What Identity Language Does.

There are four main purposes which identity language and the process of identification have: Existential Serenity, Interpersonal Communication, Telesocial Camaraderie, and Self-actualization.

Everyone has questions about who they are and their place in society: when anxiety emerges from that or from the first toxic trope I discussed earlier, the first purpose of identity language is to quell that existential anxiety toward serenity by giving the anxious person solid ground to stand on. The verb "To be" puts forward a much more fundemental statement of fact than any verb can hope for. Saying "I am X," leaves no rhetorical room for argument: it allows individuals to find indisputable facts about themselves and lay them down as axioms. To riff DeCarte: I am therefore, I am. 

The second purpose of identity language is to smoothly facilitate the communication of one's internal experiece to others. This function is most noticable when a language lacks a satisfying amount of room for nuance. In The Alt-Right Playbook: Mainstreaming, Innuendo Studios's briefly discusses the experience of Author Samuel R Delany — A gay man who, due to a lack of contemporary language, wasn't able talk about his experience as a very masculine gay man, what we'd likely call a bear today. That language void left him immensely unsatisfied in conversations about himself. 

Robust identity language helps individuals with relatively uncommon experiences more easily bridge this divide: there's something so much more specific about demipansexual compared to pansexual compared to queer: and for some people that specificity is important.

The third function of identity language is to provide people with a sense of belonging, even without interacting directly with others who share that experience: stories where someone thought they were weird, only to feel a weight lift from their shoulders after learning that there's a word for what they experience and that others experience it too, are a half-pence a dozen; but that won't spare you mine.

Growing up, I didn't have the language to accurrately describe myself. I was the weird-smart kid: a bullied alone bookworm that didn't really understand the point of having friends. I had maybe five friends through my entirely childhood, and never at the same time. Notable hate group @utism $peaks propagated to me that autism was a tragedy, and my one page long medical history prevented me from ever getting a diagnosis. As far as I and the rest of the world was concerned I was uncatagorically abnormal. So, I filled in the gaps with unhealthy labels.

When I learned actual information about autism, and how it's just another kind of normal, my whole paradymn shifted: I was an almost boringly normal autistic. The tantrums were actually meltdowns; my seemingly arbetrary hatred of specific foods were textural needs my neurotypical parents didn't understand; my tendancy to mimick the mannerisms of fictional characters was a subtle expression of echolalia; that period of time in highschool when I carried around hundreds of tiny squares and folded about 3000 paper cranes because the process of folding them helped me focus was just stimming: None of it was uniquely me, bar that last extrodinarily specific detail, but even it has analogues. It was part of a shared overarching experience with strangers I've never met. That was liberating knowledge. 

My friend and I had a conversation recently (at time of writing) where she said she was emotionally stunted, and I had to say "Girl, no. You're not emotionally stunted: you're autistic. Society didn't teach you how to handle your emotions because they assumed you were allistic." This was the esteem damaging label she applied to herself, which resulted in her not even trying to navigate her emotions. 

And that ties into the fourth use for identity language. It, by effecting our perception of the world, either leaves us to a self-fulling prophecy or gives us goals to work toward. I was in seventh grade when my sewing and cooking teacher Ms. W told the class that birth order had an effect on personality: she handed out an article and summarizing to relevanced it said, 'middle children are peacekeepers.' That day was something special because Ms. W caused a paradymn shift. To this day, I still consider myself a protector of peace and act to the best of my ability to fill that role well. Even if that article's findings weren't sound, the act of identifying with that fact shaped my personhood, and it's an engrained part of me: I couldn't not be a peacekeeper if I tried.

So, these four things, anchoring the self to a foundation, communicating that experience to others, shifting ones perspective of the world, and effecting how one acts based on that perspective are the functions of identity language. And the more well-tuned and nuanced one's vocabulary is, the better one is able to utilize identity to do these very import; and the same can be said for society as a whole. The boom of identity language prompted by tumblr culture should be heralded as a renneisance of self-expression not seen since the forums of greece. But, it isn't: The treatment tumblr recieves in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged isn't anomalous: it's representative of at least a third of the internet's gestalt opinion. 

Intermission 4: This Essay's Throughline

I'd like to take a moment at the end of this essay to tie the discussion of identity language as it relates to Hellsing Ultimate Abridged's Alucard.

Alucard is an angry character: unhealthily so. He doesn't really have friends, he has enemies he's on speaking terms with and the Queen of England. And, I'd posit that a lot of that anger comes from him having to define himself with toxic labels because he doesn't have the words that fits his experience. Let's run through each point.

Intermission 4 Act 2: Therapy for the Unhappy Vampire

In the final episode of the series, Alucard is trapped for twenty years in a state of nonexistance by the magical nazi catboy Schrödinger becoming a part of his #LifeHack. Schrödinger's ability is that he exists as long as his sense of self exists: if he stops having a sense of self, he stops existing: and because Alucard's #LifeHack grants him the abilities of all beings caught it, that he stops existing when Schrödinger loses himself in that swath of souls indicates that despite having a strong personality, Alucard has a weak sense of self. Alucard spends twenty years in that void, during which time he has to council with each and every individual mired in his #LifeHack and resolve the fundemental conflict preventing them from understanding themself: several are resolved with just the words "You're gay," so many enfact that that answer is implied to be trival by the end of it, which textually affirms the importance of identity language for as foundational to self-understanding.

During this time, he textually has to talk with Rip Van Winkle although we do not see it happen on screen, he probably would pick up some language from the conversation with her and others like her which likely helps in the latter half of his exile where he spends ten years consuling himself about the question, "Are we a bad person?" 

Intermission 4 Act 3: Alucard's Sexuality, Once More with Feeling

It's text that not understanding your sexual preference is enough of an issue that it has to be resolved. It is therefore logical that Alucard has a complete understanding of his sexual preference by the end of those ten years, whether he arrives at the same words I've used to describe it here in this essay or he invents new labels specifically for him, is uncertain, but it is certain that by the end of that ten years self-therapy session, he has language which accurately describes his orientation. Having that language is the prerequisite to being able to communicate that orientation to those around him, which is again prerequisite to others comprehending his sexual preference. Post-tumblr enlightenment (and I use that phrase with a mix of irony and respect) Alucard wouldn't be able to yell at Van Winkle that nobody understands his orientation, because those he chooses to share it with would eventually come to understand it.

Intermission 4 Act 4: Lemantations of an Ange Man

I causally mentioned that Alucard is an angry character and that I read a lot of that angry as coming from him using toxic and inaccurate labels for his orientation in place of labels which accurately discribe his experience. I read it this way, because that was my experience before finding my identity as an autistic. I was angry that I wasn't normal, and I was angry that I couldn't act normal. When I relabelled myself, that anger released like exhaling a breath I didn't know I was holding. I make no claim that Alucard would fundementally change as a character upon discovering a label for his orientation: it's textually not the case, as he still uses pejoratives after returning from exile. But, that last scene of the abridged series, I can't quite articulate how but he seems to have mellowed out a lot.

And, seeing the world around them as a place where their experience isn't alienatingly strange, but just another normal, will do that to a person.

Act 7 Act 5: A Healthier Asshole.

Like I said, Alucard would not fundementally change as a character by knowing who he is. A rose-scented asshole is still an asshole. But given an understanding of himself, he'd be able to better navigate relationships with others. As a character, Alucard flaunts his sexuality: he is trying to fuck everyone: Anderson, The Major, His boss, Seras, Walter: he even regularly writes letters to the pope expressing his yearnful hatred and gets riddled with bullets for hate-flirting with the strangers that burst into his room in Episode Three. And hate-flirting with everyone, including those who express disinterest or distress at the idea of it, is the primary reason Alucard has no friendly non-professional relationships. 

An increased understanding of his preferences would give Alucard the knowledge to tone down the hatred for less interested people: he "hates everyone equally", but having healthy kismesissitude is about hating specific people more passionately. Alucard is basically a variation on the trope of the kinda gross cishet teenage boy whose just discovered the appeal of sex and is making sex noises at anything remotely resembling a woman; and that isn't the basis for maintainable healthy relationships. It's barely the basis for unhealthy passing relationships. Understanding that hating people and being an asshole is part of his orientation would allow him to keep his sexuality pointed at interested parties like Anderson and the Queen of England, while giving him room to dial it back for people who want more platonic relationships with him, like Seras or his Boss. Had it come sooner, it might have even freed up enough of his emotional bandwidth that he could have avoided Walter turncoating to fight Alucard because Walter's unrequitted affections for him.

Act 8: My damned point.

Back in act zero of this essay, I stated as the preface's preface that Hellsing Ultimate Abridged was a serial work produced over the course of about a decade. The Rip Van Winkle fight I analysized at length occurs during the 4 episode, less than half way into the series. The authors of the text grew up while writing it, and I believe that the text of episode 4 no longer represents their opinions on the philosophy it argues about, especially considering how so much of the final episode's text and subtext undermine that fight's philosophical conclusion.

Tumblr culture and the identity language which evolved from it have a bad rap because it's often conflated with a combination of toxic fandom, misandry and /or misogyny pretending to be feminism, and the often misunderstood premise of identity politics, each of which some people really fucking hate. The trope that any deviation from the normative default is a cry for attention is a ad hominem dismissal of the identity language and tools for navigating identity tumblr culture was inventing, or popularizing. It was the narative pushed to counter the mainstreaming of tumblr culture's more nuanced and robust models of gender, attraction, and identity.

But, having robust identity language which can describe you can be important part of being happily and healthily human. Alucard and the cishet folks he somehow manages to represent while being canonically queer are the folks that would likely benefit the most from learning about tumblr culture's advances in the identity language (and by extension tumblr's advances in feminist theory). Theyr also the folks who tend to most potently rage against it.

The premise central to the humor of the Rip Van Winkle fight is that even the queer folks don't need this identity nonsense tumblr is on about so us cishet folks don't need it either: and this essay was a lot, but we've finally arrived at the thesis statement: That idea is so fundementally flawed that even it's authors seem to reject it in later episodes of the same work: even if the origins of the label are falacious, even if the label originates from fiction, even if the label only applies to one person, even if someone has to coin a label for themselves because no one else has coined something accurate to them and their experience yet yet: It's all human: it's all important. Identity language is the root of identity and we should really treat it as such instead of conflating it with nazis and letting it get punched and stabbed to death by the queer vampire and the angry cishet men he paradoxically represents, both of whom would see the most benefit from learning to use and understand that language.

The abridged series does a massive disservice to tumblr culture which prompted the largest, most open in-depth decades-long and still ongoing discussion of sex, attraction, gender, and speaking in the most broad terms, identity that has ever been had in history. It was built upon so many different disciplines: arts, sciences, classic and contemporary literatures, histories. It expand access to niche subcultures and allowing their personal identity to purculate through the whole of society.

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged did Tumblr dirty.

#hellsing ultimate abridged #alucard #character analysis #essay #homestuck #Edit 1: I'm removing the read-more because fuck you that's why #it's a long post now #long post #Edit 2: I've crossed out all references to the Queen of England since she's downstairs now #This will be scheduled for Queen Death Day.

[jams-sims]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Omg- this is gonna be a rough one cause I have current favs and old favs.

In no particular order-

1: Buddha (ror/snv/ records of Ragnarok)

Reason: He is the first God to openly say fuck the other hods and fight for the human. His style, his attentuide i could marry this man i love him so much.

2: Alucard (hellsing)

Childhood crushes goes hard and I never stopped loving this character. It's also partially because of his voice actor both the original and the abridge version. Shout out to Taka and Crispin Freeman.

3: Gojo (jjk)

Here man hate this man but I am in love with him. It's his everything! It's the way he is going to lose everyone he loves. I foam at the mouth over this guy.

4: Denji (chainsaw man)

I firmly believe I could bully fugimoto into marrying me and that why I like Denji. Nah but fr it mostly because I love like sad pathetic character and have a bit of a savior complex. Denji just a wet noodle of a boy and I wanna hug him!

5: Hisoka (hunter x hunter)

This one is pretty contentious because everyone has something they want to say about this character. As if they haven't misinterpreted both him and illumi. I just like a character who doesn't give a fuck but is full of spite. Like this bitch so so full of hypocrisy, we love to see it.

6: Naraku (inuyasha)

This one super old crush, I wish there was a reason. But their not I just remember really likening him as a kid so it's just followed me into adulthood.

7: Gaara (Naruto)

Again another childhood crush that followed into adulthood. This one stems from the fact when me and my friends would make OC. They would always pick the main guys and I wouldn't have anyone cool to pair up with besides the lame side characters. So I became more aware of what side character did because I wanted them to be just as important that the main character my friend picked. It's the favor of childhood trauma.

8: Rin (texhnolyze)

The only female on the list and she does a horrible death and spirals the main lead to die as well. Rin is just the stand it for the whole cast in this anime. Don't watch it unless you are in the right mental state. Cause I wasn't :D

9: Medcine seller (Mononoke)

Just- watch the anime and and the movie this guy comes from. It's hard to put into words what I like about him.

10: Naota (FLCL)

This one was hard to pick because I have a lot of old character I like. And someone were fighting for this last spot. But I decided to pick Naota simply because I invested so much time into his story. Into the world. It's how I met one of my best friend. This character holds a dear place in my heart.

Honorable mentions: Kyo from samurai deeper kyo, Kuzuma (S-Cry-Ed), Shinji (EVA), Ibrau (kuuchuu Buranko I also bought the book) imma just put the name of the anime cause i love it (Abenobashi Mahou Shoutengai) that whole cast. This made me go down a wild ass rabbit whole in search for this ome fuckin anime i can not for the life of me find.

#Answers #What a welcomed question! #Had fun making this

[ap-kinda-lit]

Vegeta, answering phone: Hello?

Bulma: What did you do?

Vegeta: Alright…but you can’t get mad at me.

Bulma: WHAT did you do?

Vegeta: Okay, first of all, I was minding my own business—

Bulma: Bullshit!

Vegeta: I was!

Bulma: And what exactly happened while you were “minding your own business”?

Vegeta: So, I was just chillaxin' in my room like a baller, then all of a sudden these shmucks kicked in my door, one of them yelled out “Get on your knees!” and I responded with “I’m not your mother last night!” And they took exception to that.

#s: Hellsing Abridged #incorrect quotes #incorrect dragon ball quotes #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #dbs #dbz #dragon ball gt #dbgt #db gt #Vegeta #Bulma #bulma briefs #hellsing abridged #hellsing ultimate abridged

[harveyb-wabbit92]

[A new security corps recruit, has fallen in love with Y/n after she rescued him from an Space-time rift, Unfortunately for him Y/n’s already spoken for, so the lovesick fool gets the bright idea to challenge Warden Ingo, Y/n’s husband, to a battle for her hand.]

Random guard: I’m going to defeat you!

Ingo, not taking the guy seriously, like at all: That would almost be intimidating if you were, well, intimidating.

[Ingo mopped the floor with the guard and his partner Pokémon; Y/n also gave the fool a very harsh dose of reality, basically she told him that she would never leave Ingo regardless if he won or lost the battle, and lover-boy was an idiot for even thinking that she would. Needless to say, that guard kept his distance from then on... ]

#s: hellsing abridged #pokemon legends arceus #warden ingo #subway boss ingo x reader #galaxy survey team #submas #subway master ingo #fem reader #time traveler Reader

[yandereaffections]

Hellsing Masterlist

Alucard

Falling in love HC

Turning S/o into his No Life Queen

Headcannons

The 30 years hes gone

How Alucard approaches you

Integras view on your relationship

Fluff HC

How freetime is spent wth his S.o

Protecting his S/o from the hands of Millienium

Alexander anderson trying to ‘save’ his S/o

Pet names hc

Using Alucards last name

Affection HC

Domestic HC

Alucards Child reader unintentionally being a yandere magnet 

Seeing his child reader after 30 years

Turning his S/o HC

Darling offering their blood to Seras

S/o’s hopelessly in love with him

Darling who greets him with nose rubs and kisses

Asking why he gave Seras a choice to Turn but not you

After care HC

Christmas w/ Alucard HC

S/o suffering through their period 

Sick S/o

S/o who’s basically a bunny

Darling visiting their family outside the country

Darling who is agressive unless theyre being held

Amnesiac S/o 

Foreign s/o introducing him to their family

Parental Alucard finding out his kid is in a harem

Small and innocent darling

S/o having to stay in their native country for family emergency 

Human S/o who’s terrified of him

Anemic and hemophobic Darling

oblivious S/o

Arguing with Alucard

Comforting Alucard after a nightmare

Accidently upseting his crush

S/o getting hurt

Alucards reaction to Seras being obsessed with his S/o

Playing Hide and Seek

Bunny who fears and avoids him

Accompanying his Bunny on chores

Alucards reaction to a bleeding S/o

Bunny using his jacket as a blanket while waiting for him to get back

Making Alucard melt

Showing Alucard merchandise of himself

Managing to get him a present

S/o is a university student

Bunny w/ low self esteem 

Yandere Alphabet: H,K,T

Alucard reacting to someone romantically approaching his bunny

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,E,I,Q

Yandere Alphabet: L,S,X

S/os Neurodivergent 

Alucard reacting to Iscariot trying to take you away from him

Punishing s/o

Vladcard headcannon

Playing Tag

Comforting Alucard

What makes Alucard go Feral

Feeding from Bunnys blood

Taking him to your home

Telling Alucard hes apart of your family

Sleeping in a coffin with him HC

Getting Alucard a gaming console 

Iscariot managing to kidnap Bunny

Finding a newly turned vampire s/o

Scaring off rivals

Trying to escape cuddling with him for your classes/work

S/o wanting revenge but not being able to take the last step

Darlings accident prone

Taking a bullet for him

Hellsing Alucard meeting Castlevania Alucard

Trying to cheer up his bunny

Platonic Headcannons

Loving Alucards voice

S/o shifting into sleep when showing him something

Darlings going to the hospital due to a mission injury 

Platonic Cuddling Headcannons

Trying to get him into a new hobby

S/o whos too shy to sing in front of him

Darling who seems dead while sleeping

S/o who cares for everything including monsters

Taking in a stray after a mission

Play fighting with him

Trying to hide him in fear people would try to experiment on him

S/o struggling to stay up all night

Pulling him off to dance

Touch starved Headcannons

S/o who fears confined spaces & cant sleep in the coffin

Narcoleptic S/o

Abridged Alucard & Normal Alucard fighting over you

Abridged Alucard Headcannons

S/o a bunny hybrid

S/o is a singer/dancer

Running into a tourist S/o during a mission

Being invited to a Wedding on S/os side of the family

Abridge Alucard interacting with normal Alucard

S/o is all loopy from getting their wisdom teeth removed

S/o showing favoritism towards Abridge Alucard and normal Alucard

Polar opposite S/o

Punk S/o whos only soft to him

S/o with a Zuko scar looking birthmark

MtF S/o

S/o worrying their not good enough for him

S/o whose aggressively affectionate

Wanting to wash with Alucard

Scientist S/o who loves talking about their interest

Human S/o who was experimented on and now has powers

Baskerville loves Alucards S/o

Giving him positive reinforcement 

Bunny likes to serenade him

Selectively mute S/o saying “I Love You” for the first time

Preference to the job at Hellsing S/o has

Getting caught in crossfire and being turned by a enemy vampire

Small buff s/o

Confessing to him first

College student S/o tied up in a bunch of college stress

Celebrating his Birthday

Taking him sight seeing in your home town

Taking S/o on a date to the aquarium 

“You look so cute―scared and shaking under my touch.”

“You’ve been so good for me. Don’t ruin it like this.”

Succubus S/o

S/o learning romanian 

Scary movies

Naga HC

Siren S/o

S/o gives him lil knicknacks from their home country

Biting him back

Bunny being the big spoon

Abridge Alucards ginger S/o being called “soulless”

Alucards ginger S/o being called “Soulless”

Yandere Alphabet D,F,H

Gamer/streamer S/o

S/o from our world appearing infront of the hellsing manor

Newly transformed Vampire S/o likes biting him as affection

Seras Victoria

Platonically obsessed with Alucards S/o

Reaction to Alucard turning his S/o (platonic)

Falling in love with Alucards S/o

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

Headcannons

Walter

Headcannons

Pip 

Headcannons

Alucard

NS FW HC

Somnophila HC 

S/o who likes to be choked 

Watching his bunny masturbate 

Cockwarming Headcannons 

Breeding Kink & Aphrodisiac 

Alucard and Abridged Alucard x s/o Threesome

#mmmmmm fangs #hellsing #hellsing x reader #yandere hellsing #alucard x you #yandere alucard #alucard headcanons #Integra Hellsing #yandere integra #Seras Victoria #seras hellsing #seras x reader #yandere seras #YANDEREAFFECTIONS GOLDEN MASTERLIST #last updated 3/3/23 #Last updated 4/24/23

[outcast-thingz]

ANIME WATCHED LIST

U-Ultra Maniac (wco)?

C= complete

Favorites

C= complete; I= incomplete; D= dub; S= sub; N= not started

R=romance; S=school; SL=Slice of Life; H=Horror; A=Action; AD=Adventure; D=Drama; SU=Supernatural; SP=Superpowers; SF=Science fiction; CM=Comedy; DC= Dark Comedy; F=Fantasy; DF=Dark Fantasy; T=Thriller; P=Psychological; M=mystery; SI=Science; SIF=Science Fantasy; RCM=Romantic comedy; MA=Martial Arts; HA=Harem; AP=Apocalyptic

No- Q, U

Suggestions open, I might look into these.. I will update with new suggestions

Q-Quintessential Quintuplets or Queen's Blade?

U-Ultra Maniac?

A3! C/D N/S SL/D Citron and Misumi Ikagura

A Silent Voice C R/D/S no favorite

Assassination Classroom C/D I/S SF/A/C Nagisa and Karma

Attack On Titan I/D N/S A/DF No favorite

Avatar C AD/C Toph, Suki, and Ty Lee

B the beginning I/D N/S no favorite

Back Street Girls: Gokudolls C/D N/S no favorite

Balance Unlimited I/D I/C Haru Katō

Beastars I/C ...no favorite

Berserk I/D N/S no favorite

Black Clover I/D N/S Finral, Zora, and Lucky

Black Butler C?/D I/S Finny

Bleach I/D I/S No Favorite

Blue Exorcist C?/D I/S Rin and Amaimon

Bofuri: I Don't Want To Get Hurt So I'll Max Out My Defense C/D I/S Maple

Boku no Hero Academia I/D I/S Tsuyu, Bakugou, Tamaki, and Hawks

Buddy Daddies N/D I/S ALL OF THEM

Bungou Stray Dogs I/D N/S Kenji and Chūya

Cowboy Beebop C Ed

Danganronpa:Hope arc I Chihiro

Date A Live I/D N/S Kotoro if I remember right

Death Note I/D N/S no favorite

Demon Slayer I/D I/S Nezuko so far

Devilman Crybaby N/D I/S ...no favorite

Diabolik Lovers C/D C/S FUCK THAT (subaru..)

Dr.Stone I/S Senku so far

Eden's Zero I/D N/S Shiki

Fairy Tail I/D I/S Natsu, Levy, and Mirajane

Fire Force I/D N/S Shinra, Maki, Licht, and Benimaru

Food Wars I/D N/S ...no favorite

Fruits Basket I/D N/S Kyo, Tohru, MOMIJI

Fullmetal Alchemist C/D I/S Edward, Winry, Maes Hughes, Izumi

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood I/D I/S fairly sure its the same as the other version

Future Diary I/D N/S no favorite

Ghost in the Shell C no favorite

God of Highschool I/D N/S Jin mori, and Yu Mira

Haikyuu!! I/D I/S Kentaro, Saeko, Sugawara, Nishinoya, tendou, and Yaku

Hellsing Abridged C/D Alucard, and Seras

HoriMiya N/D I/S Miyamura

Hotarubi no Mori e C no favorite

Howl’s Moving Castle C Calcifer

Hunter X Hunter I/D I/S Kurapika, and Killua

Infinite Dendrogram I/D N/S FLAMINGO

Inuyasha I/D I/S Inuyasha, Shippo, and Kirara

Iwa Kakeru!: Sport Climbing Girls I/D N/S no favorite

JoJo’s Bizarre adventure I/D N/S no favorite

Jujutsu Kaisen C/D N/S Maki, Inumaki, Nanami, and... Gojo

Komi Can’t Communicate N/D I/S no favorite

K-On C/D N/S All of them

Kakegurui C/D N/S no favorite

Kiki’s Delivery Service C Jiji

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan I/D N/S Uramichi

Lu Over The Wall C no favorite

Mary and the Witch’s Flower C no favorite

Mirai C no favorite

Moriarty the Patriot N/D I/S no favorite

My Neighbor Totoro C no favorite

Naruto I/D N/S no favorite yet

Neon Genesis: Evangelion I/D N/S no favorite

Nanbaka I/D N/S no favorite

Noragami I/D I/S Yato, and Ebisu if I remember right

Okko’s Inn C no favorite

One Piece I/D N/S Ace, Sanji, and Robin so far

One Punch Man I/D N/S no favorite

Ouran Highschool Host Club C/D C/S The twins, and Ryouji

Plastic Memories N/D I/S no favorites yet

Ponyo C no favorite

Princess Mononoke C no favorite

Promised Neverland I/D N/S no favorite

Puella Magi Madoka Magica C/D N/S no favorite

Rosario + Vampire C/D I/S ..no favorites

RWBY I Ruby, Nora, Jaune and Neo

Saiki-K C?/D I/S Saki

Sailor Moon I/D N/S no favorite

Saiyuki: Reload C/D C?/S Goku

Seven Deadly Sins I/D N/S King

SK8 Infinity N/D I/S no favorites

Skip Beat C/D N/S Kyoko

Somali and the Forest Spirit I?/D N?/S no favorite

Soul Eater C/D N/S Soul, Kid, Crona, Excalibur, and Justin

Soul Eater Not I/D N/S no favorite

Spirited Away C Kamaji and Zeniba

Sword Art Online I/D I/S Kirito, Lisbeth, Andrew Mils

The Iceblade Sorcerer Shall Rule the World I/D I/S Ray, Clarisse, and Evi

The Wallflower C/D I/S Sunako, Yukinojoh, and Hiroshi

Those Who Hunt Elves C/D N/S Airi, and Mihke

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun I/D I/S Hanako and Teru

Toradora I/D N/S Taiga

Vampire Knight I/D N/S ...no favorite

Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop C no favorite

X I/D N/S no favorite

Yuri On Ice C/D N/S no favorite

Yu Yu Hakusho I/D N/S no favorite yet

#i included movies too! #not all of them have genre labels yet #working on it #starshine watches anime #anime watchlist

[ao3feed-bnha-girls]

Return to Sender

Return To Sender by blacktea

Dear God,

This is the story of the time I got vampire-knapped to another dimension. Spoiler Alert: You are of no help.

Alucard, Out

Words: 1822, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Alucard (Hellsing Ultimate Abridged), Uraraka Ochako, Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Katsuki's Parents, Uraraka Ochako's Parents, Class 1-A

Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Bakugou Katsuki/Uraraka Ochako

Additional Tags: Weird Magic Resulting In Insta-Family, Demon Baby Mummies, Accidental Baby Acquisition, breast feeding, Lewd Thoughts From An Immortal Vampire Trapped In The Body Of A Baby, POV First Person, Alucard Gives No Fucks About Offending God, God Leaves Alucard On Read

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40731036

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Kacchako #♥ #Kacchako #Alucard #🎈 #⚤ #R:M #A:Blacktea #Crossover

[hellsingultimateask]

Asks are open!

Ask me — a long-time fan — anything regarding the Hellsing series! It can a simple question about a character, a scene in manga or in either of two anime adaptations or simply an opinion on something that's relevant in the series.

I will not necessary answer all the questions regarding fan content (fan fiction, OCs, Abridged, etc.) or any type of discourse that's going on right now because this blog's main focus is canon material and headcanons that don't divert too much from it. Occassionally also Bram Stoker's Dracula (the novel, not the movie) as well as vampires from other sources. Ask these fan content-related questions from their creators instead!

And yes, most importantly! If you're not satisfied with my answer(s), that's completely fine! Just don't be douchy about it. I can be brutally honest so you have been warned.

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing: the dawn #anime #manga

[omegaverserping]

URL/Name: I'll be keeping an eye on this post. Interact with if you want to roleplay and I'll message you when able.

Prefer to stay anonymous.

Only accepting a certain amount of users before I cannot take on anymore.

Age: 25

Preferred Way of RPing: Discord

First, Second, or Third Person point of view?: Third person, second person if it better suits the scene.

Preferred Role (Alpha/Omega/Beta/All): All

Preferred Pairing: M/F, willing to do M/M but I like having one M/F pairing present if push comes to shove.

Doubling required for pairings

Fandoms:

Resident Evil [Specifically Resident Evil Code Veronica X, Resident Evil 4, the original Resident Evil, willing to do the newer games but ask for more details]

Hellsing [Ultimate abridged, Gonzo]

Overwatch

Genshin impact

Supernatural

OC(s): Original character friendly in fact pairings will likely be canon x original character.

Favorite AUs: Monster verse, basically where every character is turned into some sort of supernatural monster be that vampire, werewolf, angel, demon.

I just find it gives more flavor and options when it comes to having original characters present or adds extra spice onto pre-existing characters.

Triggers: Suicide, Watersports, Incest, Underage characters, Daddy or mommy kink (Lady Dimitrescu is the only exception), hard BDSM I just find it restricts responses, anal in non M/M pairings I simply find it over played.

How long I would like to RP for:

Long term or indefinitely if possible.

Would I be willing to brainstorm a prompt (Y/N)?:

Yes I'm willing to brain storm prompts but I prefer improvising as I go, I like having a premise in mind but winging it from there. I find it far more fun and satisfying.

Omegaverse tropes that I DO NOT like to use: Male pregnancy unless previously discussed with my roleplay partner, actually pregnancy period is something I want to avoid or discuss before hand.

Submissive only users, I'm looking for those that play dom or switch roles.

Omegaverse tropes that you DO enjoy using often and would like to use in your RP:

Nesting, aggression, scents.

Anything else that you would like to mention or say?:

My postss are on the longer end, I'm looking for others who can keep up.

Posts can exceed 500+ words.

#available rper #omegaverse #omegaverse rp #a/b/o #a/b/o verse #a/b/o rp #a/b/o verse rp #ocs #alpha/beta/omega #alpha/beta/omega rp #alpha/beta/omega verse #alpha/beta/omega verse rp #dynamic rper: alpha #dynamic rper: beta #dynamic rper: omega #pairing rper: f/m #oc rper #submission #fandom #resident evil #detailed