Tumgik
#s:tumblr
Text
Lester: A mosquito landed on my neck and I killed it … and I just started thinking.
Lester: It was just trying to get some food man …
Lester: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck … how would I feel?
Meg: What are you on right now?
127 notes · View notes
m1dn1ght-r0ses · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
22 notes · View notes
divorcearchive · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
8 notes · View notes
mimidorika · 2 years
Text
Rukia: what is wrong with you?!
Gin: wow, you could start with a good morning.
Rukia: good morning. what is wrong with you?!
50 notes · View notes
Text
Konrad: Male? Female? Oh dear lord no, I identify as a problem.
127 notes · View notes
Text
(at the dinner table)
Doyoung: Can you pass me that?
Haechan:
Doyoung:
Haechan: *moves it further away*
179 notes · View notes
Conversation
Peter: I may be young but that doesn’t mean I’m innocent.
Peter: [aggresively tries to open caprisun]
Tony:
Tony: Need help with that
Peter: [softly] yes.
297 notes · View notes
whatisasvtbias · 3 years
Text
seungkwan: It’s official. I’m back on my bullshit.
hoshi: No.
hoshi: *takes his, and Dokyeom’s hands*
hoshi: WE’RE back on our bullshit.
102 notes · View notes
Text
Toga, Twice, and Mr compress: *staring out the window*
Deku: What are you doing?
Toga: The TV broke so we're watching a couple break up across the street.
Deku: *joins them*
1K notes · View notes
in-correct · 4 years
Text
Ten: guys who can pull off facial hair are hot
Xiaojun: I t-think you're supposed to use a razor
398 notes · View notes
Conversation
Rayla: What was that thumping?
Ezran: A box fell down the stairs
Rayla: Funny, it sounded a lot heavier than a box
Ezran: The box may have had Soren in it
423 notes · View notes
ghostyslytherin · 4 years
Text
“Come on snake, let’s rattle” should be the slytherin motto because
1: you’re asking someone to dance
2: you’re challenging someone to a fight
Brilliant
198 notes · View notes
incorrectmarvelcast · 5 years
Text
rdj: sometimes i drink milk straight out of the container.
evans: THE COW?!
rdj:
4K notes · View notes
mimidorika · 3 years
Conversation
Gin: How come whenever I have fun, it's considered wrong?
Rukia: People die when you have fun.
45 notes · View notes
Text
Sanguinius: It's October so we must, once again, draw battle lines between those who like pancakes and those who do not.
Fulgrim: What battle lines? Nobody likes pancakes.
Angron: Fuck you, pancakes are delicious.
Sanguinius: And so the lines are drawn.
200 notes · View notes
Conversation
Dan: Where can I find this friend-zone
Dan: Because I need friends.
50 notes · View notes