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man-made-misery · 10 months

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Tw for family illness

My grandma keeps going in and out of ICU and i just really need her to be ok. 5 weeks ago she went into a coma and since then she keeps getting better then worse again. I'm not even religious but please send prayers and good vibes our way

Also tumblr has been an amazing distraction and you guys have been helping me without even knowing I needed help ❤️ people in my phone I love you

#SAD #sad all the time #tumblr is my diary

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leshitshow · 9 months

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#sad all the time #depression gif #i may have made this

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mischiefmanaged666 · 2 years

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In the middle of summer, does anyone else randomly get the feeling that you are wasting your life just doing nothing all day ....??

#im tired #i'm just so tired #sad #sad all the time #life sucks #summer #depressing post #this is depressing #depressing shit #i should sleep #why am i like this

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az1dburn5 · 2 months

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I really can't wait for Valentines Day to be over (yes, i am lonely. Yes, i am heartbroken. Yes, i am bitter. Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?)

#valentines day #bitter #heartbreak #sad all the time #i wanna relapse so bad

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newttxt · 4 months

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leashes for zosan

#one piece #zoro #sanji #zosan #nico robin #usopp #ive had this comic sketched for… probably months. but i finally lined and finished it!!#eesh… three comics in three days… this rate is NOT sustainable #im just incapable of not thinking about one piece dkfkdkkckdkc #i normally dont draw at all nov-feb bc i feel unmotivated and sad but hey!! not this year!! skckdkckdkkcdk #anyway i have the nonblurry zoro. featuring more of his uhhh body. but thats not going up here any time soon

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tir3d2234 · 5 months

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tears are the words the mouth cannot say nor can the heart bear

#depressed #depression #crying #idk #quotes #relatable #mentalhealth #sad all the time #sadquotes #sad quotes #sad thoughts #depressed quotes #depressedquotes #sad #sadness #tears #helpme

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nastenkamir · 6 months

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#beauty #art #cute art #artwork #love poem #leave me alone #alone with my thoughts #feeling alone #spun alone #ambrella #sad thoughts #sad poem #sadgirl #sad night #sadnees #sad all the time #rain world #rainyday

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stromblessed · 5 months

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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

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benadril · 7 months

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I hate school for fucks sake kill me now

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #everyone in this city is actually demented #this city sucks there's smoke everywhere #everyone is talking ALL the time #insulting is so normalized??? like it just is #adults have no concept of etiquette or personal space #i hate it i hate it all i can't accept that this is the way it is i can't #there's so many rules I can't DO anything #i'll die if i don't leave this city i'll die sad #sad all the time #this too shall pass #ben's conscious stream

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astearisms · 8 months

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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started