Tumgik
#sad bi hours
sp0o0kylights · 1 year
Text
Adopt a Jock Part 1 
Part 2 
Part 4
Shoutout to @bloomingconflagration for the title!!! And a HUGE thank you to everyone who left comments or gave suggestions!! I love you all you amazing, silly humans <3 <3 
There comes a time during a long work shift were your average overworked and underpaid employee starts to think they’re hallucinating. 
In Gareth’s case, it was when Steve Harrington walked through the doors of Palace Arcade, making a beeline right for him. 
“Gareth?” Steve asked, like he was the one out of place. “What are you doing here?” 
As if people just randomly stood behind the counter of retail and entertainment spaces with a nametag on. 
You know, for fun.
With a great deal of restraint, Gareth managed to hold the sass back, instead opting for a far more polite; ‘I work here, Harrington. What are you doing here?” 
Because no matter how much Hellfire had adopted Steve into its fold, Gareth could just not see the guy choosing to spend his free time at the local arcade. 
Not of his own free will, anyway. 
“Pick up duty.” Steve said, proving him right not even a second later. 
“Of what?” Gareth asked, puzzled, right before Steve’s name was shouted in stereo.
A miniature stampede took place as several children proceeded to swarm him like oversized puppies, most of them trying to talk at once. 
“One at a time, we talked about this!” Steve barked, loud enough to be heard over the commotion. “You’re giving me and Gareth here a headache!” 
He waved his hands in a “calm down” gesture, shaking his head and looking at Gareth in exasperation. “Probably giving the people in the video store next door one too, lord.”  
“Wait.” A curly-haired kid said, looking between the two older teens like he was watching the laws of the universe rewrite themselves in front of him. “You know Gary? How?”
“We are not close enough for you to call me Gary.” Gareth said dryly, for what felt like the fifteenth time that day. 
This was a regular battle between him and the kids who haunted the arcade.
(One had overheard Grant call him Gary the last time he was in, and ever since, every single child that graced this fine establishment with Cheeto-dusted fingers and candy-induced sugar rushes had decided to replace his actual name with his nickname.
The fact it clearly frustrated him only egged them on. )
“We go to school together Dustin,” Steve said, as if he were talking to someone particularly dense. 
“Yeah? You go to school with lots of people. You bitch about most of them.” Dustin fired back.”Plus Gary’s a total nerd. I bet you call him names.” 
"Hey, language!" 
Gareth’s eyes narrowed as he glared down at the little fucker. He was definitely going to remember Dustin (and equally going to watch and see what arcade games the younger teen played-- and top the score chart of every single fucking one.
He might be a nerd but he wasn’t gonna take that shit from a middle schooler.) 
“Hate to break it to you brats, but your babysitter here just joined our D&D club.” Gareth replied, if only to finally one-up the little bastards. “Our DM is building him a character as we speak.” 
(Which wasn't even a lie. Eddie was building a character for Steve. The guy just refused to give any input on grounds that he "wasn't going to play anyways." )
Abrupt and sudden silence, as several stunned faces stared at him. 
“Oh goddammit.” Harrington cursed, as the entire herd of children turned on him in unison like some kind of hivemind horror monster. 
“You joined the D&D club,” Dustin said slowly, outraged. “And you let them make you a character sheet, but you won’t play with us!?” 
“What the hell Steve!” The sporty-looking one whined, clearly hurt. “You won’t sit in on our games! You said they were lame!” 
“They are lame.” Steve defended immediately, pushing at sporty-kids head. It was fond though, the kind of gentle shove an elder brother gave to a younger one. It caused the kid's camo banana to fall into his eyes, which he adjusted quickly with a grumble. “Turns out the high school version’s cooler.” 
“He’s lying.” That from the bitchy one, whose arms were crossed over his chest, a glare on his face. “Steve probably paid Gary to say that” 
Gareth had seen that exact same stance on Steve at lunch that day, and wondered if the little asshole knew who he was copying when he did it. 
“Who cares about D&D?” This from the redhead, standing with another girl giggling in her ear. “I’m just amazed Steve has friends.” 
“Really Mayfield?” Steve said, looking almost betrayed. As if he thought she was going to be the one to defend him in this weird little showdown.
The girl leaning on her giggled harder, making Mayfield grin (even if she tried to hide it.)  She whispered something, which the redhead outright laughed at before repeating; “Adult friends even!” 
“Okay.” Steve said, clearly cutting the kids off before they could embarrass him further. “Thank you, unwanted peanut gallery, for all of that lovely commentary. Now go back to playing the games you little shits robbed me of all my quarters for, or we’re leaving.” 
Henderson’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you were here to pick us up?” 
“Oh I’m sorry, did Jonathan magically appear behind me in the last five seconds?” Steve turned around pretending to search the parking lot through the windows. “No? Then I guess we’re still waiting. Unless you, Lucas and Max want to leave first.” 
“You’re such an ass.” Dustin huffed, rolling his eyes. “Why aren’t you waiting in the car anyway?” 
“It’s raining, it’s cold, and I thought I’d come in to say hi to my friend.” Steve replied, so quickly it took Gareth a moment to realize what Steve referred to him as. 
He'd gotten the friend title before Eddie. 
His best friend was going to fucking freak. 
“Are you done drilling me or are you going to let Max kick your ass at DigDug again?” 
“Shit!” Henderson cursed, spinning to intercept the redhead as she bent to put a coin in said arcade machine. “Max, you said you’d let me keep my leaderboard score today! Max!” 
“I know you said you watched kids, but this wasn’t exactly what I was imagining.” Gareth said, slumping against the counter.  
(He'd been thinking of Steve watching much younger kids for one, and two, he was starting to get the idea the babysitter thing was used as an insult. 
Gareth knew a big brother vibe when he saw it.) 
Steve gave him a tired look. “Me neither man. Me neither.”
 Then; “You fucking owe me for that D&D comment, they’re never going to shut up about it now.”
Gareth winced. “Sorry. I was trying to help.” 
Steve blew out a breath. “I know. I appreciate the attempt.” 
Which was better than Steve bitching at him for it, not that he’d really ever done that to Gareth. 
The two of them hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to be playful like that with each other, though they had occasionally jumped in on opposing sides to arguments Eddie caused. Gareth figured they’d get there in time, but even with all the progress Steve made, he still had more off days than on. 
It was a fragile line to walk with him. Especially when there wasn’t a single member of Hellfire who wanted to ruin the progress they made. 
(Even if half of them would never admit to it.) 
“Steve?” A voice interrupted, quiet in a way that contrasted directly with how loud the rest of the brat pack was. 
Steve closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand as if to starve off a headache. 
“Yes, Baby Byers?” He asked after a long, painful pause, turning to look at the saddest looking kid in the bunch. 
“Is there actually a D&D club at the high school?” 
The kid looked at Steve like he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to hear the answer, but was hopeful for the outcome he wanted anyway. 
It was the kind of thing that pulled even on Gareth’s heartstrings, and he was almost immune to anything involving giant, sad eyes after a solid year of working at the arcade. 
(Never mind Eddie’s own puppy dog looks.)
Steve’s voice gentled, in a way Gareth had never quite heard him use before. “There is. You’d love it, it’s called Hellfire. I’m sure it’ll still be there next year when you come in as a freshman.” 
He nudged him with his shoulder playfully, smiling when the younger boy perked up. “If you’re nice, Garebear here might even put in a good word for you.” 
“Garebear?” Max repeated with a burst of laughter, appearing behind Steve like a fucking ghost. “Oh my god.” 
“No.” Gareth said, bolting upright from his slouch as he stared at her in horror. “Do not call me that.” 
“Sure thing, Garebear.” She outright cackled, as Steve sent him a wide-eyed, apologetic face. 
“What did you just call Gary?” The sporty one--Lucas, asked, a wide grin overtaking his face. 
“I swear to God.” Gareth threatened, as Steve took another dramatic look over his shoulder. 
“Hey look Jonathan’s here!” He yelled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder as he started quickly walking backwards. “Come on, dipshits, we're leaving!” 
“Bye Garebear!” Lucas and Max sang together, following after him. 
“Harrington!” Gareth howled, as Steve mouthed ‘Sorry’ over his shoulder, all but bolting out the door. 
“I like Garebear a lot better than Gary.” Another, random child informed him with a grin as he sauntered past, arcade tickets in hand. 
Steve Harrington, Gareth decided, was a dead man.��
Not even Eddie’s fucking crush on the guy could save him now. 
xXx
“Did you know Harrington has a literal pack of kids he watches?” Gareth asked a few hours later, messing with his drum kit as he set up for band practice. "He even drives them around." 
More than that though--he’d seemed almost normal around them. That was the most Gareth had seen the guy banter or act relaxed since Eddie had dragged him over. 
“He’s mentioned it multiple times.” Grant replied, tuning his bass. “You have ears Gareth, use them.” 
“Gareth? Listen?” Jeff teased as he dragged an amp into the garage. “I don’t think I’ll live to see the day.” 
"Oh screw you guys.” Gareth growled, winging a drumstick toward his friends for the insult.
Grant, long used to Gareth's tantrums (and Eddie's dramatics)  didn't look up from his bass.
Not even when the drumstick hit the wall with a bang!-- allll the way near the opposite end of the couch, entirely opposite of either him or Jeff. 
"As usual, your aim is dead on." Jeff appraised sarcastically. 
"Like I'd ever actually hit you." Gareth grumbled with a pout. "I was gonna say the kids are older than I expected."
He reached down, blindly fishing for another drumstick from the bucket of them next to his kit. 
He came up empty. 
"Hey Grantman." Gareth asked, tone changing to something mildly embarrassed. "Could I uh, could I get the drumstick back?" 
He got a flat stare back. "No." 
"What did I do to get stuck with such dramatic friends?" Jeff joked as he began moving all the amps he’d pulled in back into their usual places. 
They hadn't had time to unload anything other than the drums after their last show and the regret was real. 
"Eddie’s been standing on tables since seventh grade, you knew what you were getting into." Gareth fired back, making grabby hands for his drumstick. 
"And you never grew out of being that dorky middle schooler who snuck into Hellfire games and screamed we were all going to die every time anyone made a bad play." Jeff shot back. "Yet here I am, once again wondering if I should just permanently confiscate Eddie's snacks, your drumsticks, and now Harrington's fricken spatula." 
"One year. I am one year younger than you and you act like it's an entire century!" Gareth muttered, as Grant relented and leaned over to fetch said drumstick. 
"We all know Eddie chucks food at people, but what'd Steve do with a spatula?"  Grant asked as he tossed it back to Gareth.
He missed and nearly took out a cymbal in the process. 
"He had a snit while we were making chocolate roulade cause it wouldn’t roll right. Flung the spatula around so much it splattered whip cream on his ceiling." Jeff shook his head as he finished hooking an amp up to his guitar. "I had to rescue it from him." 
"His ceiling?" Gareth said in disbelief. "Wait, you were in Harrington’s kitchen?" 
"Yeah?" Jeff looked up to find his friends staring at him. 
Grant blinked. "The fuck?" 
“Can we just play?” Jeff complained, just as embarrassed as Gareth had been.
“No.” Gareth said, retrieved drumstick nearly falling from his hands in shock. “You don’t get to casually drop that you went to Harrington’s house to help him bake and then try to get us to play right after!” 
Jeff, who had done exactly that, blushed, skin darkening as he fiddled with his guitar.
“It wasn’t a big deal.” He said finally with a shrug, as if this was something he did all the time and not the groundbreaking revelation that it was.
“Did you meet his parents?” Grant said, sitting up from the couch. “What did his house look like?”
Jeff finally gave up the pretense of playing his instrument.
“I didn't, and it was kinda sad, actually.” He said, as if he didn’t live for this kind of shit. 
Gareth knew better than anyone how much of a fricken gossip Jeff could be. 
“His house was enormous. I only saw the first floor, and his kitchen is huge.” He set his hands apart at a good distance, showcasing just how large “huge” was, before continuing. 
“But it was weird. It was like a model home. No pictures on the walls, no art, no personality to the place at all.” 
“What are we talking about?” Eddie asked, finally returning to Gareth’s garage from where he’d been gathering up all the wires they’d thrown haphazardly into his van. 
“Jeff went to Harrington’s house.” Grant and Gareth tattled as one. 
“To help bake stuff for this Friday!” Jeff defended, the blush creeping back onto his face. “I was curious about his chocolate roulade recipe and he invited me over!” 
“When was this?” Eddie asked, staring at Jeff like he’d grown a second head. 
Or more likely, Gareth knew, in jealousy. But he wasn’t going to call Eddie out on that just yet. 
“Yesterday. We got to talking about it in the parking lot after school.” Jeff said with an embarrassed shrug. “He said he wasn’t the best at explaining how to do things and that he’d rather show me instead.” 
“Kinky.” Grant deadpanned, making Jeff sputter. 
“You sure you didn’t see his bedroom, Jeff? It’s okay if you fell for the ‘wanna see my music collection’ line. We won’t judge you.” Gareth waggled his eyebrows, ducking with a laugh when Jeff went to whack him. 
“Shut up, we just made the chocolate roulade!” Jeff’s ears were red now, and huh, maybe Eddie wasn’t the only person with a crush.  
“Guys.” Eddie reprimanded, tone warning. 
“Sorry Eds, you know we don’t mean it.” Gareth soothed. Of course, his best friend's anger was less about the gay comments or Steve’s reputation as Hawkin’s man whore than it was about Steve fucking Jeff (and not Eddie) but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be appreciated if he pointed that out either. 
Eddie didn’t respond, eyes already back on Jeff. "Details, Jeffery, give us the details!"  
He dropped onto the couch, flapping his hands at Jeff in his version of a "sit down" gesture. 
Jeff sighed, but repeated what he'd just said for Eddie as he took a seat on the edge of an amp, placing his guitar down gently. 
 "I think Wayne was right. I don't think anyone else lives there but Steve. Not full-time anyway." He finished. 
Which sounded like the best fucking thing ever until Gareth thought about it for more than two seconds. 
Tried to imagine what his life would be like if his parents and siblings were gone. Not for a day, or even a weekend, but always. 
How silent his normally loud house would be. 
Thought instantly that he'd be inviting Eddie, his friends, and hell, l even Wayne, over as often as they could handle. 
"The way he looked when I showed up, and how quiet he got when I left I just…" Jeff fiddled with his guitar’s strap. "I think he's lonely." 
The four of them sat in silence for a long moment as they digested that. 
“Hargrove kicked his ass right? And Byers?” Grant said finally, breaking the silence ad he stared up at the ceiling. 
“Old news.” Eddie replied absently, jiggling his leg.
“You think his parents were around for that?” Grant continued, slowly.
No one answered outside of Eddie's leg loudly jiggling faster. 
 "Did you see the kids hug him or anything?"
"They're like thirteen. I seriously doubt they're pestering Steve for hugs." Gareth answered flatly.  
 "So he got his ass kicked, his parents are gone, he was supposed involved in that whole has leak thing…" Grant trailed off with an air of someone who expected the end of his sentence to be obvious. 
“You’re doing that thing again where you think what you’re saying is obvious and its fucking not.” Eddie grumped. "Just spit it out." 
His friend's head finally tipped back down from the ceiling, to face the rest of them. “Maybe the flinching is because no one ever touches him anymore unless it’s to kick his ass.” 
“Oh.” Eddie blinked, body going rigid. “Oh shit.” 
“That…would make sense. A lot of sense.” Jeff said slowly. 
Grant put on a face that read “Duh” loud and clear. 
“So what do we do about it?" Gareth asked after a moment. 
"Touch him, obviously." Grant replied, like he couldn't believe the drummer was even asking.
Gareth and Eddie shared a look while Eddie rolled his eyes.  
"The guy almost fell down the stairs last time I tried that." Gareth pointed out. 
Never mind any other time Steve got weird over the lightest of touches. Eddie couldn't even clap the guy on the shoulder without getting major side-eye. 
"No."  Eddie cut in, sitting up suddenly. His eyes had gone bright, "We're going to trick him into it." 
"We're going to trick Harrington into being okay with, what? Shoulder pats?"  Gareth echoed, like Eddie might hear himself if his words were repeated back to him. “You realize how stupid that sounds right?" 
"Shut up, listen. It's like getting a stray to trust you. You just gotta be calm and so obvious about it that they get confused and let it happen." Eddie had begun practically vibrating, causing his friends to trade uneasy glances. 
They knew that look. Eddie only got it when he thought up a plan that was going to cause problems. 
"Eddie, that makes zero sense." Jeff told him.
Gareth just shook his head, because only Eddie Munson could compare Hawkins golden boy with a fucking stray animal. 
Even if the guy kinda acted like one sometimes. 
"I just need an opening." Eddie continued, the little hamster wheel spinning in his head so fast the rest of the band could almost hear it. 
If Gareth had been told two months ago he was going to be sitting in his garage, discussing the best way to acclimate Steve Harrington to casual touch, he’d have actually smacked whatever idiot dared spew such nonsense with his drumsticks. 
"I did tell tell the kids today you were making him a D&D character." He said, before his best friend could truly go off on some half cocked plot. 
Eddie lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Gary, I could kiss you."
Gareth made a face. "Please don't."
He clapped hard before springing to his feet. "Huddle up boys, I've got a plan." 
"God help us all." Jeff muttered. 
(He huddled up anyway, any thoughts of playing guitar that night fully forgotten.) 
Bonus: 
"Why don't you just get high and watch a movie with Steve? You're a fucking cling-on when you're high." Gareth complained the next morning, when Eddie swung by to pick him up for school. 
Mostly because the plan Eddie had come up with was ridiculous.
 Eddie took both hands off the wheel, pressing them against his chest in mock offense while he stared at Gareth and not at the street. “That would be taking advantage of him and I, as a gentleman, would never." He gasped, dramatically. 
In his normal voice, he added: "Plus it doesn't count." 
“Eyes on the road!” Gareth yelped, swatting an arm. “And you know I didn’t mean it like that. People relax more when they're high and maybe Steve needs something like that as an excuse to allow it. Hell he doesn’t even need to be high, just you.”
Which Gareth personally thought was a very insightful thing to say, so of course he had to ruin it with; “or whatever.” 
"Do you recall how you kissed Jeff on the cheek when you were high and then spent the entire next month swearing up and down that you weren't attracted to men last summer?" 
"That was different. I was discovering myself." 
Eddie outright cackled. "Discovering yourself? What self help book did you pick that gem out of?"
"I was quoting you, you moron!" Gareth sputtered. 
"If I said anything like that then I was definitely high and it just proves my point. Steve would just be uncomfortable."Eddie stuck his tongue out. "So there." 
"Fine." Gareth sighed. "If we ever get high with Harrington, I'll sit in his lap."
Eddie's eye twitched. "No you will not."
Thrilled to have something to tease the elder metalhead about, a smile graced Gareth's face. "In fact, I'm calling dibs." 
"You can't call dibs on a lap! And besides, you don't even like him like that!" 
"So?" Gareth retorted. "It's a nice lap, looks comfortable. You don't want it, so I'll take it."
Eddie grit his teeth, grasping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles went white. 
"I know what you're doing Gary. This is some bullshit reverse psychology shit and I will not be falling for it." 
"Oh contraire, this is sibling bullshit, Munson. You want it, so I want it." Gareth crossed his arms and looked at Eddie smugly. "And unless you do something about it, I'm getting it." 
"I hate you." 
Gareth grinned, delighted. "I know." 
3K notes · View notes
ur-dad-satan · 2 years
Text
Sometimes my aunt asks me questions about my sexuality with good intentions but I just end up feeling like she's invalidating my bisexuality just because I don't know how to explain it to her and I've never had a serious crush on a girl. It makes me feel shitty and like she's taking away one of the only parts of my identity that I'm 100 percent sure of. It's not on purpose but I can't figure out why she fucking cares anyway. It's not affecting her in any way, shape, or form. I just don't want my sexuality taken away from me because someone else doubts it or is confused by it.
1 note · View note
pretti-pothead · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
“wish i could wash it on down, give it all up,
finally find out how it feels to not live numb” 🎶🌼
135 notes · View notes
oldshrewsburyian · 5 months
Note
detective show ask: I’m curious which other show you’d drop Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu into
I would find places for them both in the third season of Perry Mason OF WHICH WE WERE MOST CRUELLY AND UNJUSTLY ROBBED ahem.
Yeah, the more I think about this, the more I like it. I could, of course, find completely unrelated roles for them; they're both very good actors with impressive range. But they have years of experience doing wordless communication with each other and I think that it would be a shame not to use that. Liu will be a mysterious and alluring business owner presiding over the Smoky Nightclub without which no hardboiled noir is complete, and JLM will tend bar for her.
I'm fairly neutral on the question of which of them propositions Perry; I would also accept neither or both.
23 notes · View notes
bihansthot · 3 months
Text
My mental health really took a dump down the shitter last night, nothing new happened but I’m just very sad. I’m also questioning my self ship, I just don’t know that Syzoth really fits? Anytime I think of my self ship it’s always Bi-Han, I never think of Syzoth. Sure he’s precious and adorable and just all around wonderful but I maybe like him with Ashrah better than with me and Bi-Han and Sareena? I’m really not sure. It might just be my sad talking. I really don’t know, I’m having a hard time envisioning any of them loving me at the moment let alone all three of them. I probably shouldn’t make any decisions like this though.
I’m almost finally to the boss fight with Arctikan Sub-Zero/Order of Darkness whatever it is though in invasions, hopefully the fight won’t be awful, I’ve seen some videos on how to cheese it but I’m still terrified I won’t be able to do it and miss Bi-Han’s amazing skin. I must get all the pretty clothes for my pretty pretty princess 😭
Send me support and encouragement, I need it today please. 🥹 I’m going to go crawl back into my cave.
19 notes · View notes
noa-ciharu · 11 months
Text
I wanted to make gayest clamp character poll but then it hit me gays ain't a minority there but majority. How do I choose from idk 60 characters?? So instead:
16 notes · View notes
dropsofjupitcr · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
NOTE: You do not need to match length. This does NOT have to turn smutty - but absolutely can as Hunter would absolutely use that, too, as a vice.
 ˖ ✶ The good thing about having the rink to himself was no one was around to witness his stumbles while practicing. Hunter had taken some time off the ice after the night of dropping Ophelia and ultimately ending her career. Which was both bad and good for him in the long run. Good because he got some time to relax, bad because that ‘relaxing’ had turned into drinking. Excessively.
And he knows it could have been worse. That instead of happening at rehearsals where it was just them and their coach, it could have happened at the grand prix. Besides the scar on her leg, Phi would have had more constant reminders in the way of gifs and videos of it plastered online. And Hunter already felt bad enough.
And maybe he should just retire. The constant reminder that he wasn’t as good anymore and the fact that he no longer had his partner… But Phi would probably never forgive him if he let go of his dream for her. He at least had a few years - or his own bad fall - left in him, after all.
Another fall had him screaming in frustration, hand slapping down on the ice before getting up and practically storming off. It didn’t take him long to end up at Club Essence - a place his coach would absolutely want him to stay away from. He was already a few drinks in, the feeling of being slightly tipsy already taking refuge as he leaned over towards the person sat beside him at the bar.
“D'you know what time is it?” He knows he should keep track of the time, having to get back to the rink to meet up with his coach to go through some more of the routine, but maybe there was no point right now.
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
Tumblr media Tumblr media
in the mood to get covered in bite marks and bruises 🥵
106 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs
37 notes · View notes
Text
a dictating letter
I write this,
To express to thee,
All that is contained in my thoughts,
All the love,
All the agony.
I hope you understand,
That my love for you ,
My love,
Is deeper than the blue of the night skies,
Truer than a man on trial,
And more real than each particle of matter,
That is lucky enough to be touched by you.
I am aware of your ignorance towards poetry,
I am aware of your nonchalance.
However, do glance at these words,
For they are nothing but a mirror.
A reflection of your beauty,
And your pain.
These words,
They summarise your truest self,
Usually vain.
Stare deep,
Possibly,
You might find yourself,
Something more precious than one’s beauty.
Look deep,
Deep into me.
I hope you see the love I hold.
Once you realise;
Mine,
You shall be.
11 notes · View notes
callista-alicat · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Kiss kiss, fall in love 💖
11 notes · View notes
designernishiki · 1 year
Text
hot take (aka headcanon) but I kinda think that nishiki and kiryu’s relationship pre-split wasn’t on both sides platonic/familial or fully romantic; I feel like nishiki had a thing for him (not sure if he fully realized it though) and that he had developed feelings for kiryu over the course of a good long time that were deeply confusing on their own, but even more so considering they would’ve been hard to sort out with what could just be attributed to close friendship or a familial-type bond.
and on the other side of this, kiryu was utterly oblivious and never thought to question what they had as being anything other than a close friendship or familial-type relationship or whatever it was being called out loud (we know kiryu, he’s blunt as hell and takes things at face value– not the best at reading between the lines) hence why the split between them, though both were clearly hurt a ton by it, hit nishiki harder and more acutely– because on top of losing the most important person in his life, which is bad enough, it would’ve crushed any tiny shred of hope he may have had to live out his long-time, perhaps even since-childhood fantasy of being by kiryu’s side forever as his one true confidant, in a more intimate way than as a friend.
#rambling#sad boy hours#this also ties into why I hc nishiki as being gay rather than bi for the most part (though both are absolutely valid and understandable)#won’t get into that here too much but yeah there’s just… a lot of tragic gay angst that can be associated with him and the way he handles m#(or doesn’t handle) their little… breakup and whatnot#and as for kiryu’s side of things. honestly if things went a different way than they did I don’t think something beyond friendship would be#out of the question. it’s just. I don’t think kiryu would’ve ever considered the concept because he’s so clueless#when it comes to relationships and romance and so on and furthermore because of the way he was brought up- which of course wouldn’t really#highlight the idea that falling for a guy (or vice versa) is even a possibility let alone that it’d be applicable to him and someone so#close to him and whatnot. learning about nishiki’s past feelings for him in a hypothetical post-kiwami situation I think would make#him short circuit. and to literally anyone else who knew about nishiki’s actions after the split and all it’d all click and make perfect#sense hearing that. but to kiryu it’d take some fuckin Time to process#I think the past would be in the past by whatever hypothetical future point this is but still its a lot to apply to some of the most#important and fundamental parts of/events of his life. hh. yeah. tack on some guilt if you wanna say kiryu would be with majima at that#point (however you define ‘with’– important part is It’s Not Straight) so the potential there- whatever it was- wasn’t totally nothing like#it would be if he was simply straight and thus it would’ve never been a possible relationship outcome#but. yeah. anyway. sorry I’m. I need to stop I’m going insane I think l#I hope I don’t sound too insane or controversial for this take gahdhshdh have mercy on me#it’s. it’s all just ideas. thoughts. in a game. in minecraft. etc#nishiki#kiryu#yakuza#long post
3 notes · View notes
femmeidiot · 2 years
Text
.
9 notes · View notes
mentallyillwitch666 · 2 years
Text
Saw my girlfriend for the last time before she goes to Atlanta for a week
Am very sad
3 notes · View notes
Going back into the closet. Not the gay one. The depression one. I’m gonna build a fort and isolate myself again. ✌🏼
2 notes · View notes
papayanna · 2 years
Text
crying sobbing vibrating with excitement just bought tickets to see phoebe bridgers!!!!!
2 notes · View notes