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#sad poem

Nothing


image

Originally posted by sei-il-mio-sole-anche-di-notte

i yearn the feeling

the feeling of belonging

no,

i yearn feeling

something

other than taking

and mimicking emotions

that are not mine


when i am alone with

nobody or nothing

i become nobody, nothing

i am consumed by emptiness

i am consumed by thoughts

thoughts that i consider normal

but others apparently consider dark,

twisted

and worrying


but nobody knows

nobody knows because

when i have nothing to feed off

nothing to mimic

i become the real me

the real me who is nothing

a shell of who i am seen to be


you might question how nobody notices

i don’t

you might think that my reactions to words

are genuine, meanwhile i am forced to give a

reaction to hurtful words like a reflex action that

makes me shut down and runaway

but in the end i am still reduced to nothing

and in the end i believe that, that what i am

is nothing.

5 notes · See All

When I was a child

fear was manifest,

it took the shape 

of a man’s hand,

of words hurled in anger,

and the rules lay stretched 

like barbed wire fences,

comfortingly solid as they

tore your hands up.

.

Now that I am grown

fear is a ghost

it is the shadow of his hand

and the echo of their words,

where the rules now cut

as well as caress in unequal measure.

.

It is because fear is always

much more fearsome when not understood,

that I long for the yoke of order:

.

Such is my debt, and such is my shame.

6 notes · See All

MOMENTOS

(Não é um poema)

Hoje estou alegre

Sinto a felicidade que sempre me perseguiu

A felicidade triste

A tristeza que me deia sorrir

Zombar dela

Sendo que

Quando zombo dela

Eu zombo de mim

Arrasto-me no chão

O frio na barriga congela

O corpo treme

Porém, eu estou sorrindo

Começo a gargalhar

Rolo no chão

Descontrolada

Animada

A tristeza oferece a sua mão

Sorrindo

Será ela a minha felicidade?

Onde está o sorriso sincero e puro

A alegria descontraída

Encaro infelicidade

_Vai me rejeitar?

Em quem, além de mim, confiarás?


Moments
(It’s not a poem)

Today I’m happy
I feel the happiness that has always haunted me
Sad happiness
The sadness that would give me smile
Mock her
Since
When I mock her
I mock myself

I drag myself to the ground
Cold in belly freezes
The body trembles
However, I’m smiling
I start laughing
Roll on the floor
Uncontrolled
Lively

Sadness offers its hand
Smiling
Is she my happiness?
Where is the sincere and pure smile
The relaxed joy
I face unhappiness
_Vai reject me?
Who, besides me, will you trust?

image
1 notes · See All

Sim. Ainda é sobre você. A sensação de náusea, por conta da ansiedade. Aquela dorzinha no peito, que ainda insiste em tirar meu sono. Esse corpo vazio vagando pelas noites em busca de algum sentido. Ainda é tudo sobre você. Ainda sou eu juntando meus caquinhos e tentando me refazer.

2 notes · See All

You once asked me why I’m always gone when you wake up.

I smirked and gave you some bullshit line, knowing the real answer is too heavy for you.

The real answer?

You twitch in your sleep, and my mind never fully rests when you’re around. One movement, one sound from you and suddenly I’m awake.

It’s an established routine – one that makes me happy and breaks my heart at the same time.

It starts with a dry mouth – reaching over you for the water bottle you keep on the table. I’ll search for my phone in the mass of tangled sheets. I find a few missed calls from my friend, wondering where I disappeared to (and a few ‘get it bitchhhhh’ texts from when she inevitably figured it out). Then I’ll find my clothes - the ones you so carelessly stripped me of the night before.

And then … I linger, crawling back into bed. I’ll watch you for a while, committing every beautiful detail to memory. I’ll indulge myself with just a little more time spent in your arms, my head on your chest – lulled by the deep thump thump thump of your heartbeat.  

When dawn comes, I feel pulled toward the door. I always kiss you one last time before I go, and you always kiss me back. 

Sometimes I’ll cry when I get to my car. Sometimes I won’t.

Fuck it. The real answer?

I leave before you wake up, because I can’t bear to watch you go first.

>K.E.

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This is the last chapter

The unforgettable last words

This is the minute before the end

This is the mark left

For i know iam easy to forget

My name will be forgotten

In a touch of cold wind

my face would be a blur

In a few weeks

My voice would drown out

In the tickling of the clock

This is my footprint on the sand

Which would soon be erased by the mighty sea.

~safiya

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Cry an ocean ,if you want to

And let your salty tears call the sky their home

While settling as fluffly clouds

So the next time you look at the sky

Let the cotton candy like clouds remind you

of what it was once

Of what you could be

~safiya

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Skin to bear -


The skin I wear is mine to bear

with all its flaws I hate so well

The fat that sits just below the surface

The marks and scars from who knows what

I try to change I try to improve

But it seems this body just won’t let me be

So pardon the trails left by the tears

I just wanted to feel pretty

Was that so much to ask?

- Robyn

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I dipped my legs into darkness

in the cold of its blackness

To give away myself to the blues

but then i was dragged away

Away from the end line

By someone as broken as iam

By a shine in the sky

And as he bought us both a drink

i took a sip of hope from the cup

He told me how darkness was his friend

and how it was like to be moon

As I took a sip of hope

While i was drowning in it

~safiya

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