#sad ramblings

[ladyotakukiut]

NO MORE BOOPPSS!!

#boop! #tis goneeeeee #i haven't boop my sleeping mutual yettt!!! #boop #sad ramblings #myself

[justanormalfreak]

I yearn for my past

I hope for my future

But what about the present? Why does it make me feel empty?

Will I ever be happy again or will I just wish I could go back to that time I felt joy?

Things have changed and so have I, but I don't know if I want the change

I just want to be a kid once again

#tw depressive #sad ramblings #poetry #i think? #sad poem #i guess #ignore this #me? venting on tumblr? #yes how did you know? #vent post

[agirlsjourneytohealth]

Does anyone else feel like engagement is super down with their followers? Lately I'm barely getting any notes, and it feels discouraging when I'm trying so hard to lean on this community for my fitness journey.

I have over 2k followers and I'm barely getting 5 notes per post and sometimes get absolutely none.

It makes me feel like sharing my fitness journey and exercise here is pointless.

#sad ramblings

[lazylittledragon]

made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to

#ramble #i've only interacted with tiktok via osmosis #but something is eating their brain matter and it makes me sad #it's fine if you only want to read light things (all power to you) but don't whine at me because i write about bad people sometimes #i'm so tired

[fleshdyke]

it is literally the most fucked up thing in the world that fruit goes bad. you shoild be allowed to have a box of blackberries in the cupboard for 2 years and they are still fine to eat

#i love fruit so much but you have to eat it NOW or else it turns into pile of mold.... sad #i have remedied this by eating those fruit cups and also making smoothies with frozen fruit. it's not the same but it's close enough. sigh.. #rambles

[camilleflyingrotten]

#sorry for the rambling yesterday #I’m kind of sad I contributed to ruin some people experience of fandom with my nonsensical sht #tho I’m trying to not post everythg here lmfao #now back to posting #good omens #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #Twitter #procreate #digitalart #my art

[thewriterofdesperation]

Love at the heart of all things

It's been a long while since I last rambled my way through a post, with self-aggrandising prose and fueled by melancholic god complexes.

I am, for the most part, a disheartened and depressed person. Low on energy, on hope, on time, on joy, with a heart both full and oh so empty at the same time. Filled with a yearning for something I do not even truly understand yet, but something I find in small ways, and small moments. And I have slowly built up a realisation in the back of my mind, like a blossoming flower - slow and meticulous, each branch of the thought unfurling like a petal.

Love is what I am yearning for.

Not romantic love, for that I have wonderfully found but the love of living. Of cold mornings and hot drinks, of poetry and art, of the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair, of waking. To find the romanticisim that my partner has so perfectly brought back into my life, to find it everywhere. To open my eyes to the love at the heart of all things, of the smiles of strangers, of the morning sun, of the crisp autumn air bathed in moonlight, of melody.

To finally see the romanticism in, and fall in love with, living.

#ramblings #writing #love #loss #depression #sad ramblings #sad thoughts #sad #For all the world shines in your eyes #and while the future scares me #it scares me less to think of facing it with you by my side #writers #writings #romance #to love and be loved

[dootznbootz]

It saddens me that Helen of SPARTA is mostly known as Helen of TROY. As if she wasn't born, raised, and most likely, died in Sparta. Yes, she was of TROY for a while...But she was able to go back home to where she WANTED TO BE.

(Edit: Hating on Menelaus is illegal)

#makes me sad that when I want to tag her. it goes staight to “Troy” . Hector. Andromache. Priam. etc. are of TROY. she was only for acouple #years compared to that being their HOME. SHE wanted to go to HER home. MEH #idk what a good comparison would be but maybe like going abroad for job/school/etc. for a while. and then coming back home. #Are you now only known for what you did for a short while away from your home when you've spent the rest of your life home otherwise? #helen of troy #greek mythology #tagamemnon #helen of sparta #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus

[thelesbianluthor]

It's funny seeing people say that "we would have all joined Luke" with every new episodes that comes out that shows how awful the Gods are as parents when the point of the books and Percy is that Luke WAS right but he chose the wrong way to do things. Luke joined another evil to punish the Gods, betrayed his friends and basically only family and caused them pain and even the death of some of them.

Percy said fuck the Gods but he was against sacrificing others senselessly. He still hated how tings were but he fought so he could make changes in a positive direction instead of burning everything and everyone in his way.

So of course Luke was justified in his hate for the Gods and the way they carelessly abandoned and ignored their children, we have always known that. Percy always agreed to that. But in the end Luke himself realized he was wrong in how he tried to change that.

#pjo rambles #so many ppl missing the points of what they see when they have clearly read the books is funny and sad #like do u remember what the books are abt or... #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan #pjo spoilers

[maggins]

so bc of that post i went back to see if there was anything else of interest in the scene in WaD where raine runs through the castle and

“i gave up my palisman for you”

my longest Yikes ever 🙃🙃🙃

#the owl house #toh #toh wad #watching and dreaming #toh spoilers #toh speculation #i know this isn’t really big news; we knew belos would take scouts’ palismen before entering the coven for a while now #but i still found this interesting and very vERY sad and upsetting #imagine the regret…… #maggins' ramblings

[justanormalfreak]

I yearn for my past

I hope for my future

But what about the present? Why does it make me feel empty?

Will I ever be happy again or will I just wish I could go back to that time I felt joy?

Things have changed and so have I, but I don't know if I want the change

I just want to be a kid once again

#tw depressive #sad ramblings #poetry #i think? #sad poem #i guess #ignore this #me? venting on tumblr? #yes how did you know? #vent post

[daffi-990]

Seeing comments on Facebook like “Buck was always a ladies man” or “he’s never shown any interest in guys before” is why this story arc is so important.

Bisexual people exist and so often get dismissed or told to pick a side or that they just can’t commit to being gay or some other shit.

Just because you show a preference to one gender doesn’t mean you can’t be attracted to another.

And you don’t have to have your sexuality figured out at a certain age! It’s fluid! It changes! You could not discover something about yourself until you are away from toxic noise and finally are in a place where you feel safe.

I’m just .. I’m so thankful for Oliver and Tim and how they’re wanting to tell this story.

Especially Oliver.

He loves Buck so much and he sees the bi community and he wants to give them the best representation he can.

*sighs*

just yeah .. this story arc is important and Oliver is cradling it so gently in his hands because he knows how precious it is

#daffi rambles #seeing nasty comments on FB just makes me mad and sad #I really hope we get a shit load of new viewers from this #and the numbers can be a big fuck you to the haters #911 spoilers #911 abc #bi!buck #oliver stark #evan buckley #bisexuality

[lazylittledragon]

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me' #*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones* #it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

[berrywarbler]

i had to unexpectedly put my french bulldog to sleep this past Tuesday because she had a mass that was about to burst at any moment and another next to her heart and surgery (if she survived it at all because A) she’s a french bulldog and B) she’s 12 years old) might not have bought her even a few more months. i couldn’t stand to watch her suffer so it seemed the most humane thing to do to let her go so she wouldn’t be suffering any longer (this thing had grown so quickly and she wasn’t herself for a few days and she was losing her appetite) 

i’m utterly devastated because she was my little shadow and she was my very best friend. she’s been with me for a decade. 

when i first got her-- my mom rescued her from this woman at work who had bred her and didn’t want her anymore and was just going to take her to the shelter so mom took her. she brought her home and this was when we were living at my old house and i spent a majority of my time up all night in the living room. so she would sit behind me on the couch. she was unsure of being with us/me (she had clearly been mistreated)-- she didn’t know how to love, snuggle, or give kisses. she hung out with me every single night and we became best friends-- she would lay on me if i was on the couch, she would lay at my feet, or behind me on the couch if i was sitting on the floor. she stayed by my side always.

over the months i would try to get kisses from her but all she would do was sniff at my face and i so lovingly referred to this as “snuffles” and so i’d ask for snuffles rather than kisses until she was comfortable enough to give kisses. i’ll never forget the first time she licked my face. i cried. it was like her way of telling me that she fully trusted me and we were each other’s person. 

for the past decade she followed me everywhere. she slept at my feet, or on the floor on her little bed right next to my bed, she would look for me if i had been gone out of her sight for too long and if she knew i was on the other side of the door she would whine and cry until i was with her again. if i left the house she would whine and complain and i’ve never had a dog greet me with such happiness or excitement the way that she did.

she was literally the dog of my dreams. she was my emotional support best friend. i could pick her up and hold her and i could feel pieces of my broken self slowly mend. she’s been with me through the traumatic experience that was my nana’s death and everything that followed. she was my one constant and i think i actually convinced myself that she’d live forever.

the room is too quiet without her snoring. 

i have so many little things that i did with her that i’ll never have again and i’m just not handling it well, to be quite honest. i haven’t felt this empty since nana died. i feel like i’m reliving that all over again, too. i feel like a hollow, shell of a person and i don’t know how to continue.

i have this new puppy, too, that i just got at the beginning of this month and i feel so guilty because he’s this precious little boy who deserves a mom that’s present and i’m not right now. thank god for jay. 

idk, i’m just really sad and still somewhat in shock and i feel like i’m trapped/stuck in this place and i don’t know what to do or where to go or how to get through this. i haven’t had to go through something sad without her in the last ten years so i don’t remember how to do it.

i’m just so sad.

#sad #sad ramblings #tw: pet death

[thebibliosphere]

One of the really fun and interesting things about writing a polyamorous romance as someone who is ambiamorous/polyamorous is finding new ways to make sure the narrative hits the expected genre beats without just sort of... mushing it into a pre-existing monogamous romance mold, which is what I'm afraid happens a lot of the time.

Trust me, it was my job in the publishing house to make them fit that mold. I hated it.

Reading other poly-centric romances, I can always somewhat tell when someone is writing polyamory from a sexual fantasy aspect (zero shade; I'm here for all the group sex) without actually considering how it functions as a relationship dynamic, which can often come off as... well.

It's lacking for me as a romance.

Erotica-wise, it's fine. But it misses the romantic beats for me that I want as a polyamorous-leaning person.

There's so much emphasis on the polycule and never the individual dyads within the larger relationship.

For example, in a triad, there are actually four relationships to handle.

The dyad between A + B. The dyad between A + C. The dyad between B + C. And the overarching relationship between A + B + C.

With monogamous-leaning authors or authors that've been pressed into conforming to the pre-existing genre beats, there's a tendency to treat the relationship as a homogenous mass where everything is fair and equal, and you treat all your partners the exact same way.

And I get it. It's easier to write everything as peachy-keen and to have external conflict be resolved with either acceptance or a brave confrontation.

But it doesn't always land for me as someone who wants to see my style of love represented in the genre.

In healthy polyamory, either closed or open, each relationship is unique in its own way. Taking the example of a triad again, the way A acts with C likely differs from how A acts with B.

And that's a good thing!

Because C might not want the same things as B, so trying to treat them both the exact same is a surefire way to make sure someone isn't getting their needs met, and that will lead to conflict.

Polyamory isn't striving for equality between partners but rather equity.

What are your individual needs, and how do I meet them, as well as meet the needs of my other partner(s)? What do you want from the larger relationship as a whole? How do we accommodate everyone without making someone feel neglected or uncomfortable? How do we show this in the narrative? How do we make sure character A isn't just treating B the same as C in every interaction? Do they ever fall into that pitfall? How do they remedy it?

It seems like common sense when you write it out like that, but it's a major pitfall I see time and time again. The characters never alternate their approach between partners, if there's any focus on the individuals at all.

The other major telltale thing I've noticed is that taking time to be with one partner is seen as a step down from the "goal" of the greater polycule.

The narrative is framed in such a way that they might start out with individual dates, but the end goal of the romance is to eventually be together 100% of the time all the time, and wanting individual time alone with any one partner is somehow "lesser."

Which is the goal of romance in monogamy, but it's not the goal of romance in polyamory.

Granted, you do need to end on a Happy Ever After or Happy For Now for it to fit the genre requirement. And a nice way of tying that up is to have everyone together at the end as a happy polycule all together all at once. I'm not disputing that as a narrative tool. I'm just pointing out that there's a tendency to present those moments as the sum total of the relationship when in actuality, there are multiple relationships that need to end happily ever after.

The joy of polyamorous love is the joy of multitudes. It's the joy of experiencing new things, both as individuals and as a polycule. If you're not taking care of the individual dyads, however, your polycule is going to crash and burn. You cannot avoid that. So why, then, is there such avoidance of it in stories meant to appeal to us?

Is it simply inexperience on behalf of the author? Or is it that they're not actually being written for us? Is it continued pressure to meet certain genre beats in a largely monogamous-centric genre? All of the above?

Either way, I'm having fun playing around with it and doing all the things we were warned against in the publishing house.

I'm having fun with Nathan and Vlad enjoying their own private dynamic that is theirs and theirs alone. I'm having fun with Ursula and Nathan being so careful and vulnerable around each other. I'm absolutely 100% here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula without a chaperone. And I'm here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula together and Nathan's fond, loving eye roll as he trails after them, too enamored to tell either of them no because where would the fun in that be...

Anyway. Don't mind me. Just getting my thoughts out while everyone else is in bed.

#long post #rambling with joy #I see so many interesting stories just sort of... neglect the dyads in the end #and it makes me sad #I wish it happened less

[ferfnir]

Growth is hard.

At least if thats what im going through.

Memories will surface to haunt you in the worst times.

Longing for that with, although now you can see how harmfull was, made you complete.

Things you depended on.

But now are long gone.

You will find yourself missing those things.

And the grief will only be surpassed by the guilt of missing what now you know its wrong.

Progress is oftentimes obscured by the tick of the clock.

Steps so small that you seem to stand still.

People can even point out how much you walked, but your changes are your normal, mundane.

I know im seeking the impossible.

To change enough, that I stop being me.

Hope is the only light you hold.

But its a small flickering flame.

In the storm of the present.

#me #sad ramblings #sorry for the bad English im tired and brazilian #i know im getting better #someday maybe i will feel it too