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thepringlesofblood · 2 years

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bonus content for those who read the taz: petals to the metal graphic novel and haven’t listened to the podcast arc

so i decided to do another one of these bc I’m procrastinating doing my homework and I like doing shit like this.

basically, under the cut I’m going to be listing a bunch of stuff from the podcast that wasn’t in the graphic novel, or was changed.

this is NOT to say ‘oh i wished they included that’ - it is to say ‘oh look cool bonus content and extra information and context for me, someone who has not listened to the podcast’

It’s not crystal kingdom level, but petals to the metal is still a LONG arc with a lot of stuff in it. of course they had to cut things for time, or condense them, or change them. None of this is in a ‘um actually in the original it was better’ these are just observations of the differences/changes for funsies, and my opinion on them (mostly positive in case you didn’t notice)

(also important: you can be sad something wasn’t in the novel while still understanding why it isn’t and knowing that the final product is still great)

anyway. spoilers for pttm, but I tried not to spoil anything later than that, so people who have only read/listened this far can enjoy

ch. 1

the carnival was the first real lunar interlude, since ‘moonlighting’ is just them getting the job

the costumes are *chef kiss* perfect, although in the podcast taako dresses up as judge lance ito (lanzito? idk how to spell his name but i’m p sure he was the judge in the oj simpson trials???) bc justin saw a guy do it 3 years in a row at a party and thought it was funny.

that change is pretty obvious, taako does ross from friends in the book which gets across the ‘low effort reused costume thrown together at the last minute’ effect just fine

in the podcast carnival basically there’s just a guy with some cans they can’t knock down and they have some beef and that’s the only real game they play. the unicorn double-barrel special is 100% accurate though.

so in the lunar interludes garfield and the gashapon and the leveling all take place on their own before the carnival obvs, but they get all the same stuff and shenan the same shenanigans pretty much.

what IS notable is that in the podcast, this is the first appearance of garfield the deals warlock.

I don’t know how many of you know his dark origin story

but basically he started as a money zone goof on mbmbam and then griffin put him in the game

significantly, at this point he is an entry-level employee, while he’s the boss next time they meet him. in the book he has always and will always be the boss

there is also a functionality which never appears again where you can just name a price and do a contested roll against garfield’s charisma to pay that for something instead of the sticker price and like. magnus does that.

another bit that i’m very glad didn’t make it into the novel is when merle does this roll, he agrees that if garfield wins, he gets merle’s firstborn child.

(this is to buy the ring of recall, which gives you back a spell slot if the spell fails)

garfield wins. but. taako comes over to save the day with the 100$ extra money he has from selling angus’ silverware and helps him buy it.

yeah

that

eesh

also while the whole leon interaction is basically the same, leon actually bites the tokens to make sure they’re real, and everyone dunks on griffin bc he said the tokens were brass not gold

the shield in the book that magnus wants does not exist in the podcast. it was a choice b/w the mystery bag and the eyespy, which in the podcast is called the lens of straight creepin’ (this is where magnus rolls to haggle and wins)

the glass ball that stephen lives in is originally described as ‘softball size’ which is WILD

travis was not nearly as psyched about stephen as magnus was. he goes ‘well griffin it feels like when you ask your parents for a dog and they bring home a goldfish to teach you responsibility’ and griffin straight up is like YEAH THAT IS WHATS HAPPENING CAN CONFIRM but he learns to love him ^v^

the eclipse is the same. where the director is during the eclipse changes.

in the book it’s implied she’s been in her office the whole time, but it is never confirmed. we don’t see her at all before then.

in the podcast, we know beforehand she makes an announcement:

Griffin: The Director, you hear her voice amplified over the yard, and she says:

The Director: Attention, everyone. The Eclipse is about to take place, if you would like to join us in the yard, and join us for the viewing of The Eclipse. Uh, it should be here in just a minute or so.

so ‘us’ implies she is in the yard with them

later, afterwards, griffin says

“The— the Director is the first one to sit up and survey the scene.”

so, she was in the yard with them, and was knocked out when The Thing happened. And she recovers the quickest

they immediate run over to her, and this fun dialogue happens

Griffin: She’s a little bit disoriented. She just woke up, and—

Travis: I slap her.

Griffin: She slaps you back.

Director: Booyah.

they go around waking other people up with “healing slaps”

taako uses prestidigitation to turn into the sun from the jimmy dean commercials because “he always makes me feel pretty good.”

there’s a time jump b/w the lunar interlude and ep 1 of pttm

ep1 it opens a fun scene of the boys sparring with Avi, Killian, and Pringles (this is where we start calling him Pringles, too) and then the director calling them to her office to inform them about the gaia sash.

highlights

justin, who has not yet confirmed taako’s sexuality, asks griffin if there’s any babes in the audience watching the fight

griffin, uncomfortable: yeah, i guess there are some women...

justin: yeah, there’s women, but are there any baëbes

griffin, catching on: no less than four beëhbes

the book combines the two director office scenes into one (v smart)

some fun bonus director dialogue

they establish that the bob official handshake is the one from Big, and the director says deadpan, dripping gravitas, ‘shimmy shimmy cocoa puff’ while doing it.

as she’s describing goldcliff and being like ‘surely you must have heard of goldcliff’ and this happens

Taako: We actually have only been to three places

Merle: And they’re no longer there.

Taako: …And most of them aren’t there anymore. [laughter]

she also gives them gorp to eat on their way to goldcliff, and tells them her secret ingredient is pistachios with the shells still on, making it pgorp (or gorpp, as taako puts it)

she tells them that last time on the way down in the ball they hit a bunch of unicorns that were endangered and had to pay fines for it. (this isn’t right they were pegasi)

merle horrifically mispronounces “icosagon” (like, I have it written down as omagobrakasbragsbron) provoking griffin to say: “If any of you can tell me what a 20-sided shape is called I will mail you 200$” (none of them get it. justin guess dodecahedron but that’s 12-sided shape)

ch 2

i will tell you right now - i don’t think merle ever uses dampen elements. but they emphasize that in the book instead of the other ability he gets, destroy undead which is Very useful, so maybe there’s an occasion I’m forgetting

when captain bane is like level 6?? in the podcast he also adds ‘i’m about to send three 6-year-olds into battle???’

merle and captain captain bane have a ‘gruff off’ since merle says he wants the monopoly on gruff voices. taako gives them the phrase ‘taako rules’ merle wins bc apparently clint can sound like the devil when he wants.

i. i cant. with the vines. it’s p much the same as in the podcast but please just listen to that one scene or look up an animatic. i can’t describe it. the only things i will put here:

justin says “Statistically speaking, at least one of our listeners has just discovered that they are in possession of the world’s worst fetish!“

griffin asked for it. he said with his mouth “just talk dirty to these plants.“ and clint did.

even funnier, when all of the boys turned against clint for this, clint shouts “YOU STARTED IT, MCELROY!”

you are all mcelroy. you all started it

the trent the treant fight is a lot longer with many more goofs, but the highlight of it for sure is when magnus chops trent in half, and is pissed off that he’s still alive

Travis: But… I chopped him in half!

Griffin: And he did take some damage for that.

Travis: Yeah, I should hope so!

the elevator scene...so beautiful. wonderfully done. the main difference is in the podcast, they have merle climb the stairs while magnus and taako take the elevator.

he’s almost able to save them, but he says he opens the doors at “the last possible second” bc he wants to be cool and dramatic, so griffin is like “welp. you get sucked in bc you tried to do it at the last possible second”

the other main difference is that in the podcast when taako casts blink shuffle jump, there’s no white eyes in the ethereal plane. he also blinks shuffle jumps earlier in the trent fight with no white eyes. given the knowledge i have as someone who has listened to the entirety of the balance arc at least 11 times, I’m pretty sure this is a “griffin forgot to do it in the podcast but dw we fixed it in the novel” situation. I’ll wager that any time taako visits the ethereal plane in the graphic novels going forwards, the eyes will be there. In fact, I really like seeing it here and him reacting to it.

there’s also a fantastic like, 20 seconds, that I would highly recommend listening to. Here’s the transcript

Griffin: Yeah, you climb the stairs, and, uh, it is, uh… It is an uneventful climb to the 20th floor. And a-

Travis: Floor 20!

Griffin: As- What?

Justin: [giggling]

Travis: [giggling] Floor-twenty!

[5 uninterrupted seconds of silence]

Griffin: [angrily] We’re not gonna say anything better than that, like-

Travis: Griffin we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20.

Griffin: [stunned] We, have... 30 more minutes to go,

Justin: [giggles]

Griffin: And, we’re not gonna say anything better than that.

Clint: [laughs]

Griffin: Did you even think about that?

sloane is pretty much the same - I love her so much

ch 3

the stuff with hurley folds out naturally enough, although sergeant detective strawberry isn’t anything more than a passing joke in the podcast. he’s just there in the book to tell you that silverpoint poison = bad. and occasionally be someone for cpt. cpt. bane to talk to.

merle actually does cast zone of truth in the podcast, and everyone fails their save but him, so hurley tells them all the truth and merle tells some real dumb lies just because he can

later on this leads to this wonderful exchange of taako reassuring hurley about getting sloane back:

Taako: Uh, listen. I know you’re really worried about your friend right now, and I know you don’t know us really well. But let me promise you this.

Justin: Are we out of the zone of truth?

Griffin: Yeah, yeah. You’re far away from it.

Taako: Everything’s gonna be fine.

speaking of, merle is a lot nicer in the books, mostly because clint has the benefit of reflection and time - the funniest improv is not always the most moral improv. He thanks hurley for saving his life in the book and it’s really sweet, meanwhile in the podcast he’s repeatedly suggesting cannibalism or gaslighting a guy into thinking god’s going to kill him with a train. not an exaggeration.

I forget exactly when, but at one point when they’re following hurley somewhere, magnus steals a keychain for absolutely no reason, then gives it back bc he got caught. gotta love it.

ch 4

i love love love the jumpcut of hurley telling them not to kill anyone to them throwing barbara off a cliff

yes, barbara. there’s. just so much of a scene of them getting rid of the 3 gang members guarding the entrance to their lair. they all have different ideas and decide to try them one by one. I can’t fully explain it here please go listen this is when gaslighting a guy into thinking god’s going to kill him with a train happens and it’s the funniest thing ever. (it’s episode 21, pttm pt 4, little over halfway through the episode.) quick overview

merle tries preaching the good word of pan to them but it ends up more like ‘what if you died? right now? what would happen? a train could run through this building right now and then where would you be?’ and he scares a guy with a train sound so bad that he runs off into the night.

important: the guy that runs off is Little Jerry. the guy that stays and does most of the talking is Jerreeeeee. there is also a guy in the security booth.

then magnus comes over and is like hello i would like to join your gang please :)

theres a huge entrance fee though so at first he tries to trade stephen for it but doesn’t expect griffin to say yes and when Jerreeeeee actually agrees he’s like....not this fish. but I got a guy and he can set your whole gang up with fish, i’ll send you his chainlinkedin

eventually he gets Jerreeeeee to go inside and get the boss, then pretends to have something to do and leaves.

taako comes back disguised as Little Jerry (using the spell disguise self). but then the real Little Jerry comes back and taako casts sleep on him like ‘oh no an imposter! we gotta go check on the arcane core!’

and the dumb thing? security booth totally agrees with him. they’re all set to go until security booth’s like ‘wait we should take the fake little jerry and interrogate him’ and taako...doesn’t handle it well.

Taako: [as Little Jerry] When’d you turn in- When’d you go soft? Huh? When’d you go soft?

Ruffian 3: Well no, it’s just like- we need to- gather information-

Taako: [as Little Jerry] When we were growin’ up- we were growin’ up together, in the streets. Out there, in the streets of Goldcliff. Y’know, we- You- were never soft.

Ruffian 3: We met, like, two months-

Taako: [as Little Jerry] You saw- you saw a dead bird, you-

Ruffian 3: We met, like, two months ago!

Taako: [as Little Jerry] You saw a dead bird, you’d step on it. You’d say, ‘I hate birds!’ You were- you had, no heart. Heartless Hank, we called you. Was it Hank? Remind me what your real name is, ‘cause I can only remember the great nicknames I’ve given you over the months.

and security booth gives him an ultimatum - say my real name, right now, or I’ll kill you

and justin says...”It is completely conceivable he would have a nametag. Maybe.”

griffin: in a gang?! in a gang?!?

anyway. griffin lets justin guess. he has him take off his headphones, and tells the other two the name: barbara

justin comes back on and after some dithering says his name is taako “Psych, that’s just mine! Say my name! I cast magic missile.”

and barbara gets killed. and that’s who gets thrown off the cliff at the beginning of ch 4.

ok i s2g that’s the last of that scene it’s just so so so good i needed the world to know

from here on the main differences are that in podcast taako is disguised as lil jerry the whole time and maarvey is a man.

they probably made maarvey a woman to avoid having the only female characters this arc be our beautiful lesbian plant ladies who definitely don’t die - respect

also i appreciate the continuation of the new elfington joke

there’s a whole conversation when Magnus goes to pull the lever and squish the guys where Justin’s like “wait. wait. we were SPECIFICALLY told not to kill anyone” and they argue and decide that magnus should hit it once and then again to stop it, so they just pin the guys in place. they try to do this and griffin’s like “and the guys get squished anyway bc that’s not how any of this works!”

at one point Merle casts calm emotions to try and reason with Klaarg/G’nash. Klaarg resists but the guy he’s holding doesn’t and is very chill while he’s getting choked out and thrown around

also in the podcast they continue the theme of bugbears being like exploited and trafficked and stuff so the hammerheads supposedly “bought” him, glad they cut that shit out.

ch 5

in the podcast it isn’t like. super confirmed that hurley and sloane were dating. not queerbait but not explicit like it in the book.

griffin received some well-deserved criticism about this arc and the ‘bury your gays trope’ and making queer characters explicitly queer and he really took it to heart (he talks about it in a ttazz) so I’m glad to see the effects of that in the gn.

I feel like part of the gn series is like. fixing mistakes/problematic aspects. not in a bad way, not in like a shitty retcon way, but in a nice way that’s like ‘we recognize that we’ve made mistakes and hurt people unintentionally, and we want to show that we’re listening and trying to do better this time around’

that’s one of the things i really like about the mcelroys tbh is their willingness to say ‘we fucked up, how do we fix it’

sorry thats not pttm related ill shut up now

throughout the podcast, the adamant spanner is referred to alternately as “the adamant spanner” or “the arc-light spanner” or sometimes “the adamantium spanner”

p sure it started out as the arc-light spanner and then they forgot what it was called. fun stuff tho

as hurley keeps bring them stuff in boxes, griffin keeps pausing for dramatic effect when describing what’s in them and everyone else keeps cutting him off with other things

ya had to be there but example: “Its a really big…black…metal…” “DILDO” “DAMMIT” (the third time he anticipates it and says “and its dildos and pizza”)

the stone of farspeech call to sloane at the end of the chapter is new. i like it.

griffin mentions that although hurley does have a halfling size safety holster for merle, it’s tight on him bc of how stocky dwarves are, and there’s all sorts of jokes about fantasy spanx and it being very slimming on him while he simmers in rage.

glad they removed this one but the term “fantasy spanx” is hilarious

Hurley is the one who says the mice skeleton thing

in the podcast they choose which animals to look like, so taako like, chooses the mongoose.

the whole “fully realized creation” monologue is 100% accurate and FANTASTICALLY rendered.

hurley makes them based on their request which is nice of her

when describing the montage of the night before the race, he describes it as “This is like a summer vacation montage, not a rocky training montage. Like camp nowhere.”

ch. 6

the race. is. awesome. they kept almost everything from the podcast.

tiny thing: magnus uses railsplitter on the glass of the octopus tank, and the first time it just puts a crack in it, and he’s like ‘it’s glass???? shouldn’t it break???’ and griffin is like ‘it’s THICK glass it has to hold a giant octopus and a bunch of water’ but the second time he gets it.

merle actually gives magnus a buff (bull’s strength) before going into the battle, unusually doing a normal cleric thing.

Griffin: “His eyebrows grow three sizes and move half a foot up his face. He’s got a lot of face”

garyl actually gets got :/ he misses a dex save and is destroyed under the wheels of one of the battlewagons. he and justin assure the audience that as a phantom steed, he cannot die and can be summoned back at any time.

Klaarg/g’nash just. bounces off in the safety harness after the laser thing.

quality quotes

Justin: “Does it look dangerous? Does it look like it’s gonna hurt him”

Griffin: “last night I googled the most dangerous octopus and you know what came up?”

Justin: “It’s a very tense situation”

Griffin: “yeah its almost like I engineered it to be that way”

they spend way longer on hurley and sloane cute bonding moments in the gn and i APPROVE

what happens to the shark tank is. a bit gorier in the podcast. like a guy gets his legs sliced off gorier.

is taako allowed to say think outside the bun?????

they truly perfectly captured the wand of switcheroo moment.

in the podcast there’s some goofs bc when taako does it there’s still like a short amount of race left to do, so they’re all trying to beat each other now that sloane has definitely lost. its all pretty funny but def kind of defuses the tension a bit too much before sloanes big dramatic drive off the cliff.

ch 7

thank you mcelroys for having hurley explicitly say “girlfriend” in the gn. its not like avoided or hidden or anything in the podcast, it’s just less explicitly spelled out for you (for dramatic effect tbh).

goofy ass thing - taako calls himself “weasel-man” in the podcast instead of “man-goose” bc he forgot the highly specific mask he was wearing? or maybe he thought mongoose is a type of weasel?

(i looked it up theyre different species mongoose =/= weasel)

the arcane core getting sucked up into taako’s umbrastaff restoring all his spell slots. the gn is perfect, it’s just that the energy of the scene simply doesn’t translate. I just. I just need to describe it as it is described in the podcast.

basically taako goes to cast fireball again right? and he casts the spell and rolls the damage and griffin goes, “actually, keep rolling. I’ll tell you when you’re done”

and the tension just mounts. with every roll. until

Griffin: The sun basically comes out of the end of your Umbra Staff.

I copy-pasted the transcript bc it simply is such an iconic scene. skip if you want but it’s just *chef kiss*

(happens around 40 min into ep 27, pttm pt 10)

Griffin: Yeah, you point the Umbra Staff at the-- at this towering vine giant and fireball starts to come out of the tip of it but it’s like, really big?

Justin: Uh oh.

Griffin: And-- and it’s not-- it hasn’t like fully come out of it yet, it’s almost like a drop of water that hasn’t really fallen out of the faucet yet, so go ahead and keep rolling those D6s.

Justin: [Snorts] Okay… [rolls] 3 [rolls] 9 [rolls] 11 [rolls] 15 [rolls] 18 [rolls] will you tell me when to stop?

Griffin: Yup.

Justin: 22 [rolls] 23 [rolls] 29 [rolls] 33 [rolls] 37 [laughs] [rolls] 43 [rolls].

Clint: This is worrying me.

Justin: Yeah. 47 [rolls] 48.

Griffin: Okay, that’s good.

Justin: Okay.

Griffin: Okay, so it’s 48 on top of the 32?

Justin: Yeah.

Griffin: For a total of 160?

Justin: ...Yeah.

Griffin: The sun basically comes out of the end of your Umbra Staff.

an interesting thing to note. for longtime fans of the show. is that. magnus (who is definitely in the aoe of the spell) does not have to roll and takes no damage. he’s inside the vine monster but so is sloane and she definitely feels that fire. on a first watch this comes off as “this moment is cool enough that griffin decided not to hit magnus with the giant, giant fireball that just happened” and that could 100% be what happened

but if you’ll come into my little theory corner, where there are *SPOILERS FOR ALL OF TAZ BALANCE* i had a thought upon listening to this for the 17th time. taako cannot spellshape. griffin repeatedly tells him that since he switched from being an evocation wizard to being a transmutation wizard, he is no longer able to spellshape (meaning, shape an aoe spell so it only hits who you want it to hit, similar to what happened to magnus here).

So. taako is not spellshaping. that’s something only an evocation wizard is capable of. now who do we know who specializes in evocation and umbrellas? 0.0

just a thought. could be total crack. *END SPOILERS*

ch 8.

every beat of hurley and sloane’s final scene is perfect. no changes made or required.

one short joke right after the tree transformation that was skipped (fairly)

Justin: I notice Magnus reaching for Railsplitter and I say,

Taako: Don’t even think about it!

in the podcast, this is when griffin is still in the “roll a wisdom save against the grand relics to see if they thrall you” era,

taako goes up to get the sash and fails the save, and griffin has hurley and sloane speak into his mind and give him advantage (so they’re still ambiguously probably not dead in the podcast) and he still fails the save

there’s a hilarious, terrifying moment where he lifts it up like he’s about to put it on and the other boys descend on him, merle making the save and magnus holding him back.

i like merle going up to the sash like its a frightened animal in the gn. it’s good.

“I don’t need your help, pal, to have sex with an onion!” is straight from the podcast. they just made it snappier for the gn. love to see it folks.

the gn makes clear at every point possible that they DID not die, and are cool dryad ladies now. originally none of that was intended - in the podcast, while they’re not really dead (see above), they’re certainly not up and walking about anymore.

in a ttazz griffin mentions that he wanted this first epic romance to have a tragic ending, so he intended for the turning into a tree to be the end of hurley and sloane’s story.

but then people told him about the ‘bury your gays’ trope and how it really disappointed taz’s predominantly queer listener base when hurloane seemingly died, and the madlad retconned it and worked hurley and sloane coming back as dryads into the finale. iconic. we love a man who can own his mistakes and work to better himself.

ooh the scene w capt. capt. bane. the deciding not to drink the brandy.

in the gn its very cut and dry. bane asks abt resisting the thrall, and then proposes a toast, and they all say no.

i understand why it was changed 100%. in the podcast, after he proposes the toast to hurley, they all start making tree puns about it, not saying no but not saying yes, and he gets. antsy.

Griffin: He is uh, he is looking at the three of you sort of expectantly, and he looks kind of nervous as he’s holding this drink up.

Captain Bane: Uh, a toast- a toast then. Have you guys ever toasted before?

Merle: Marshmallows…

Magnus: I like toast!

Captain Bane: N-- [sighs] it’s bad luck if you don’t drink after the toast.

and that’s when they decide not to drink.

it just kind of gives more context then “they suddenly decide to not drink”

instead of cpt cpt bane losing it on them and getting physical, in the podcast taako casts charm person on him the second he gets too aggressive about them drinking the brandy.

but griffin says that it feels like taako’s charm person spell is being overpowered by another spell on cpt cpt bane.

and then the red robe goes all ham on the possession and makes cpt cpt bane drink all the brandy n shit

the red robe is like. way more cryptic in the podcast. ik you’re like “wait how is that possible???” but it is.

“are you afraid?...... are you afraid of the dark? ........you do not know how to be afraid”

some real theater kid shit. I like the gn version better, it makes more sense for the overall arc and flows better.

still talks about the hunger of all living things and the past relic users, but doesn’t mention the director.

instead, ends with “This is your first lesson.”

“lessons” never come up in any context ever again. i’m pretty sure a lot of this was griffin being vague and threatening so he can come up with stuff to back it up later, and that is so, so valid.

*minor spoilers*

in the podcast Griffin uses a gendered pronoun* for the red robe right out the gate, as does the director. this is the pronoun the red robe uses for the entire podcast. idk if griffin using the correct pronoun as the director is an assumption on her part of the red robe’s gender/pronouns, griffin just forgetting whether or not the director would know the red robe’s pronouns, or him trying to convey that the director does know the red robe’s pronouns, but just want to put that out there.

i also don’t know if knowing the red robe’s pronouns counts as spoilers. hence the warning

but in the gn when they talk to the director about it they all default to they/them - the spoiler here is that that isn’t the pronoun used by the red robe. you probably could’ve guessed that. hence the ‘minor’

*any pronoun can be gendered, but in this case I’m specifically talking about the difference b/w using they/them as a “neutral” option because you don’t know someone’s pronouns vs knowing the pronouns that someone prefers.

*end minor spoilers*

magnus does try to beat the shit out of an incorporeal being though and it’s exactly as entertaining.

ch 9

i just. this scene is maybe the most different. for the better.

first off, it takes place in the lunar interlude, and it takes place after the relic disposal chamber destruction bit

the director’s whole speech at the end is new, mostly to show off our cool new dryad ladies, v valid, and to drop some VERY big foreshadowing in that last panel!!

merle’s interaction with the director is much more sincere in the gn as well as being much more there.

but there’s just a LOT of lunar interlude stuff that gets skipped in the gn. I don’t think covering it all here would be helpful, just listen to lunar interlude II, it’s one of the best ones. here’s the transcript and the episode

stuff gets skipped for lunar interludes in general. I CANNOT recommend highly enough that even if you don’t listen to the rest of the podcast, you at least listen to the lunar interludes, bc it looks like that’s where they’re cutting out the most meat.

highlights from this lunar interlude (ep 28. Lunar Interlude II - Internal Affairs) include:

voidfish bonding time. so good. so good. a truly iconic, unmissable moment. if nothing else, listen to this.

they have to bring cpt cpt bane’s stuff down for the rites of rememberance (aka johann chucks his life story into the tank so it can get erased while the boys awkwardly try to eulogize about this guy who tried to kill them)

lucas is there and they meet him and hate him instantly. he leaves.

they say hi to the voidfish and it sings to them!

johann is like ‘it usually doesn’t sing like that’

and then magnus puts a hand on the glass and it puts a tentacle back...it’s so beautiful.

pringles has been thrown in the brig :/

the boys get a promotion! new quarters!

angus joins up with the BOB for the first time and the boys say hello to him again (with appropriate bullying)

quality gachapon (goshapon? gawshupon?) antics w leon. they get

defender’s dial - magnus

cloak of the manta ray - taako

physician’s pendant - merle (you will never hear about this magic item again)

first use of the official fantasy costco jingle. within the clutches of the costco...

the first appearance of the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom.

magnus gets the Shield of Heroic Memories and the Glutton’s fork (which is never used in the gn for good reason) but has to sell back his old shield signed in blood to afford them

merle gets the nitpicker, the phone-a-friend scrying bones, and a rusty can of cheerwine which he drinks, raising his max hp by 5 points.

taako gets the immovable rod, the plastic sheriff’s badge, and the anti-gravity sphere, and trades back the gustmaster 5000. this will be a minor plot hole later.

some of this bleeds into the beginning of crystal kingdom but no major spoilers.

plus, i wanted to make a list of things that are different so the boys don’t get sued by wizards of the coast (the dnd people). it’s mostly spell names, but also klaarg is actually in the lost mines of phandelver, the box campaign that the first arc started out as.

anyway here’s all the ones I noticed at least. formatted like: gn name = dnd name 

UPDATE: made a more comprehensive post

g’nash = klaarg

haverdale = phandalin

shuffle jump = blink

dampen elements = absorb elements

blast of fire = scorching ray

magic rope = rope trick

sleepy-time = sleep

clair-vision = clairvoyance

diminish size = reduce

the spell is enlarge/reduce, and later on they use “enlarge” with no trouble - why is it “diminish size” here???

spirit steed = phantom steed

ethereal weapon = spiritual weapon

gout of flames = fireball

blessings of the cherubim = prayer of healing

concussive force = concussive blast(?)

Taako just magic missiles the boar in the podcast

they probably wanted to spice things up a bit since magic missile kind of has a Brand.

Concussive blast is a real 3rd level evocation spell that taako would’ve been able to cast, it just doesn’t actually happenin the podcast

levitate is still levitate

how is that one ok but “sleep” has to be “sleepy-time”??

zone of truth is still zone of truth, idk how they got away with that one

destroy undead is a toughie

it’s technically not a spell, it’s a use of channel divinity, at while at first it’s called turn undead, when you reach level 5 you get to automatically destroy any low-level undead (each time you level up you can destroy one level up of undead), so the ability is called destroy undead from that point onward, but you still do the turning bit too.

it doesn’t say the name, but on pg 123 taako casts “crown of madness” on the gerbil guy, which is a Horrifying spell

the crickets cast “dominate person” to control taako in case anyone’s interested.  

welp that oughta be enough bonus content for 18 years. we’ll see if I get a job this summer before writing the next one lol

#taz #taz b #taz balance #pttm #petals to the metal #the adventure zone #taz gn #taz graphic novel #original post

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semper-legens · 1 year

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47. The Adventure Zone: The Eleventh Hour, by Clint McElroy and Carey Pietsch

Owned: Yes Page count: 344 My summary: Tres Horny Boys are back, and on the hunt for another artefact! This one warps time itself, which comes to bite our boys in the ass when they get stuck in a time loop. Dying every hour, on the hour, is no way to live. But what happens when they find the chalice might be worse... My rating: 3.5/5 My commentary:

Alright, I admit it. I've left this one a little late, it's old news now. I've been following the TAZ graphic novel adaptations - I really like TAZ, and seeing it in graphic novel form is pretty fun! But it took me a while to get round to this one. I said before that the Crystal Kingdom is probably my least favourite of the TAZ arcs, but Eleventh Hour is one I do not remember much of? I like it, don't get me wrong, but I don't remember it as well as the other ones. So if I miss something blindingly obvious in this post, it's for that reason. Anyway, this was a pretty fun book! It covered all the main plot beats of the Eleventh Hour, and it used its medium pretty well in my opinion.

This comic does a pretty good job adapting the story! From here on out, TAZ arcs start to get longer and longer, so obviously they have to make a few cuts in the interest of this book not being 1000 pages long. There are some good bits that get cut, but I'm not sure how many of them would have worked outside of an actual play podcast setting? Seeing more of Taako, Merle, and Magnus' trial and error in the cave is fun, but narratively it makes way more sense to do all of that as a montage. Plus, it keeps in my favourite bit - Merle doing the 'hello, my name is Elder Merle' thing - so I'm good. I was a little sad about how Ren's role got cut down, one of my other favourite bits is her being all 'OMG IT'S TAAKO' because the payoff at the end is great, but again, needed to cut some stuff or else this book would be 1000 pages. So that's fair.

What else? The art is great, as ever. I like how the more cartoony style can accentuate the comedy, as well as still being strong enough to carry the more dramatic or tragic plot elements. I liked the slightly greater focus on everyone's backstories, as well as the flashback moments when we see the Lunar Interludes content. And the way they handled the gang dying, with the chapter numbers climbing and climbing with every death, was a cool way to adapt it into a new medium. Overall, this is a pretty good adaptation of the original! And hoo boy, am I looking forward to the Suffering Game.

Next up...some skull-faced girls.

#The Adventure Zone #Clint McElroy #Carey Pietsch #book blog #book blogger #book blogging #3.5

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archedemix · 3 years

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Terrible thought I just had...

What if Taako died before he got his memories back? Like if after the Eleventh Hour or Crystal Kingdom he was in an accident that killed him. Would the umbrastaff have been buried with him? Would Lup have had to suffer for eternity, trapped in her brother’s coffin with no way to escape? Or would she fall apart, incinirating what was left of her twin in the process?

#taako #the adventure zone #lup #sad taako content #I haven't been able to stop thinking about this for hours #the eleventh hour #the crystal kingdom #taz #taako twins #taako from tv

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sleepyysapphic · 3 years

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its missing taakitz hours :((

#taz #taz taakitz #taakitz #relistened to all the scenes of them and feeling sad #i wish we had more content between their date and the finale bc man it went by quick #tho i think they confirmed that they did go on more dates btween the date and the finale bc kravitz tells taako he loved him

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terezis · 3 years

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this post is going to be all over the place but hear me out. i always thought it would be kinda funny if lucretia tried to enact her plan w the voidfish not knowing that everyone else had accidentally or unknowingly inoculated themselves, like

- magnus got some in his mouth when he went to give the voidfish a toy and fell in the tank

- taako double dog dared barry to do a shot of "voidfish pee" so like he had to, taako said to “do it for science,” which, come on, in that case how is he supposed to say no

- in retaliation lup triple dog dared taako, who drank it because his pride was on the line

- merle was inoculated because he came in afterwards, saw the glasses on the counter, said "aw shit, are we doing shots? sweet!" and downed two before anyone could stop him

- similarly, lup was inoculated when she decided that the voidfish juice might make a good hangover cure (it didn't)

- and of course davenport got a taste after magnus used some of the ichor in fisher's tank to make slip 'n slide on the deck of the ship on a particularly hot afternoon when the ac was out.

it's hard to say if it happened when he slipped and fell, or if it was later that evening, when magnus apologized for the mess and then asked davenport to apologize for calling fisher an oversized jellyfish.

("no."

"you gotta, cap'n! you hurt their feelings!"

"...i'm sorry, fisher.”

"okay, thank you! now give them a kiss, to show them you mean it!"

"i'm not gonna - "

from the other room, lup called, "come on, dav! kiss that fish! kiss that fish!"

and so davenport, very long-sufferingly, obliged.)

anyways just picture it. lucretia gives fisher the journal. its contents are consumed. she watches this tearfully, thinking of hard choices, a world at war, and the love she has for her friends, who surely by this point can't remember ever knowing her.

the door to her bedroom opens. magnus walks in, clutching a wooden duck. “hi lucy!” he says. “i made you - why are you crying? oh no, did you drop one of your journals into fisher's tank? aw, don't be sad, creesh, we'll get you a new one!”

outside, she can hear merle crowing loudly as he wins another game of cards. “jeez, dav, that's the third game in a row! how are you so bad at this!” taako and barry walk past her door, muttering to each other about leads on lup's location.

like can u imagine the look on lucretia's face

#taz tag #1k

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holdmecloser-gandydancer · 3 years

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#9 with Magnus and Ango?

9) buying something that reminds you of them

Angus is sitting in a patch of grass underneath one of the few trees on the Bureau’s quad. A light breeze keeps threatening to rattle the pages of Angus’s book straight out of his hands. The Director’s not had any pressing assignments for him in the last few weeks; everyone’s been getting ready for Boyland’s Rites of Remembrance instead. He feels bad that he can’t be of more help but he hardly had the chance to get to know Boyland.

In the interim, he’s been taking advantage of the free time to read through some of the Bureau’s vast library. He admits that he prefers his Caleb Cleveland novels, but it’s always good to diversify one’s reading taste. He’s partially way through a dense book about the history of Faerun when a large shadow looms over him.

“D’jangus! Just the little dude I was looking for!”

Angus looks up to see Magnus standing over him, rifling through his bag.

“Hello, sir! Do you need something?” Angus asks, tucking his bookmark into the dry tome.

“Nope! I have something –“ Magnus tosses a handful of odds and ends onto the ground by his feet. “-to give you and I thought I put it at the top of my bag and it turns out that I didn’t.”

Angus blinks in surprise. “Something to give me?”

Magnus kneels down and dumps his bag out, its contents now in a precarious pile on the grass. “Yeah! I know I kinda dropped the ball on the whole Candlenights gift thing and I wanted to make it up to you.”

“Oh, sir, it’s really okay! To be honest, I wasn’t expecting anything. I think it was just nice enough to be able to come to the party!”

Magnus stops digging through the pile for a moment and frowns at Angus. “Ango, you’ve got to stop dropping these deeply sad statements on me like it’s no big deal.”

“Oh, uh, s-sorry?”

“No, it’s fine, just makes me worry sometimes.” Magnus glances back at his pile and gasps. “Found it!” He holds a hand out to Angus.

Angus takes the object from Magnus. It’s a fine bookmark made of thick, study paper. It’s dark blue with gold leaves embossed on the surface. Truly, it’s the nicest bookmark Angus has ever owned, considering he usually grabs any spare scrap of paper he can find. “Oh, a bookmark! Thank you!!”

Magnus laughs a deep belly laugh and shakes his head, reclaiming the bookmark. “It’s not just a bookmark. Look what happens when you unfold it.” In an instant, Magnus gets to work unfolding the bookmark; suddenly this small piece of paper is the size of a small closet and just as tall.

Angus’s eyes widen like saucers. He never thought it’d be possible, but he is really and truly speechless.

“So you know Taako’s pocket spa?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I guess the creators are expanding their dimensional pocket storage line. Angus, this is the pocket library!” Magnus announces as he opens up the door that appears. He waves Angus in and follows behind. “The shelves in here are nothing to write home about, I can make them a little studier, probably a little nicer too. That chair’s pretty sweet though. I just figured that this would be a good start to creating your own little library!”

Angus blinks in wonder and looks around the- hispocket library. The comfy chair in one of the nooks reminds him of his grandfather’s library in Neverwinter. He feels pinpricks of heat behind his eyes and blinks a couple times. No need to start all that this early in the day. He does immediately fling his arms around Magnus, who is surprised to say the least. “Thank you, Magnus! This is the nicest gift anyone’s ever gotten me!” Angus’s muffled voice says.

“Don’t even worry about it, Ango. Like I said, this is payback for Candlenights. Now, go wild in your little nerd cave,” Magnus says without a hint of malice in his voice.

It’s a few months late but it’s officially the best Candlenights gift Angus has ever received.

#thank you for the request this was so fun!#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #reese writes #tazb #magnus burnsides #angus mcdonald #requests #asks #tentatively-positive-3 #also i love the idea of a pocket library and i feel like ango would ADORE one

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fernpost · 3 years

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looking forwards

[link to ao3]

Angus McDonald, boy detective. Greatest detective, if you asked him. And if you asked most of his clients.

He could solve any case, any mystery or murder or missing persons case. He’s always able to find the truth.

He just struggles sometimes, when it comes to himself.

His own emotions are swirling masses of weird bubbly feelings . He does not like how hard it is to decipher his own feelings.

Deciphering people's feelings about him is often just as hard. He knows social cues. He’s studied them thoroughly, and knows why people say what when he’s asking them certain questions and what they’re hiding when they ask him to leave.

Working a case is easy.

He’s solved plenty of murders before. Those are easy. Child’s play! And Angus is not a child anymore. He’s twelve whole years old, and had the first birthday party he’s ever really enjoyed to celebrate with all his friends.

Sure, most of them were adults, but he’s always gotten along really well with adults.

And they’re his family, so it’s fine-

Well. They’re not really his family. He’s not blood related to them. He’s not sure he has any immediate family now that his grandpa is gone. He’s never asked Taako or Magnus or Merle of Kravitz or Killian or- or any of them if they consider him family.

They’re his friends. That’s fine. He’s perfectly content with that (he thinks. Again, his own emotions are confusing).

But that’s okay. Because he’s going to school soon. It’s kind of far away from where most of them live, though. Far from the home Taako, Lup, Barry, and Kravitz have been sharing. Where Angus has been staying.

Very far from where Magnus has been setting up his school. And a whole day's ride away from Killian and Carey’s home.

The school is three hours away from Angus’s ho- from Taako’s house, where Angus is staying.

He hasn't- he hasn’t told Taako he’s going to school yet. He doesn’t know how to tell him he’s going to need to move out because obviously he would never ask Taako to uproot his whole life- all of them to uproot their lives just for Angus to be able to attend school. Not when they finally got settled down.

He really doesn’t even need school, but when his parents passed away and he went to live with his grandpa he dropped out. And if he wants to go on to college (if Lucas is serious about the potential teaching job) he needs to at least graduate high school. He was almost done too, but his grandpa didn’t have a lot of money like his parents did, so he started solving more and more cases to help out.

His parents didn’t give his grandpa any of their money because they didn’t expect him to be around when they passed on- not that they were bad people! He doesn’t mean to make them sound bad. They weren’t bad. They weren’t the best, he guesses. They’re not as fun as Taako, or as warm as Lup, and didn’t give as many hugs and Magnus, and didn’t talk to him about science like Barry, or-

But they were nice. They just weren’t really into parenting. They still left their small fortune to him, he’s just not old enough for it.

He’s thinking of petitioning the banks and saying he’s perfectly independent to get the money so he can move out easier.

He wonders if Kravitz would help, because he’s really good at that type of stuff, and the bank workers would be much more likely to listen to an adult than him.

Being young had its perks when solving cases, but it sucked for his day-to-day life.

It also sucked when his stomach churned for no reason that he could deduce. He’s just sitting in the kitchen, watching Lup cook in her still-slightly-fresh body as she sings a funny folktale song (Barry is sitting next to him, and he’d leaned over when she’s started singing to tell him how she learned this song early on in a world that had no writing system, and the song was about a man who could never remember where he left his pants. Angus didn’t really get it, but Barry kept laughing and smiling like it was the funniest thing in the world. Angus was pretty sure Barry would laugh at anything Lup did as a joke, though. He didn’t need to be a great detective for that).

But despite how good the food smells, his stomach hurts really bad. He’s barely eaten today, so it can't be food poisoning. Not that he’s had that since moving in- the Taaco’s are wonderful cooks and he trusts anything they feed him implicitly.

He tunes out Lup as he thinks.

The stomach pains are probably anxiety. Kravitz was telling him how he used to get them all the time, so it’s possible it’s just that.

But he shouldn’t be anxious . He’s a big kid- he’s just waiting for Taako to get home so he can tell him he’s moving out.

He has already looked for an apartment. Once Lucas' Academy of Arcane Sciences is fully up and running, he should have a highschool diploma and will be able to move on campus to work on his own degree. And be a student teacher while he works on it. It’s very exciting! If he should be feeling any physical effects from his emotions, it should be excitement, not this. This gross conglomerate of mushy feelings he can’t piece together.

He hates this.

Lup is holding a spoon to him, and Angus snaps back to the present to hear her softly ask, “you okay, little dude?” He doesn’t like the look of concern on her face- she’s been through too much to have to worry herself with him (he can’t get the century out of his head, these people are so amazing and they just let him hang around them. He doesn’t know what he’s doing right and he’s scared he’s going to stop doing that and they’re not going to like him anymore).

“I’m fine, Miss Lup! Thank you for asking.” He folds his hands tighter in his lap as he smiles. Whatever is on the spoon smells great, but he’s not sure his stomach is up for it yet.

Lup continues to stare at him for another second before pushing the spoon a little closer, “if you say so. Now, tell me, how’s it taste?”

Angus shakes his head and pulls back, “my stomach isn’t feeling too good right now, I don’t want to infect the rest of the food if it’s contagious.”

A hand appears on his head and he jumps a little, still not used to the casual touch-language of the household, and Barry’s nasally voice joins the conversation. “You don’t feel hot. Want us to call Merle over and give you a check up?”

The spoon is back, “it’s a good soup, Ango. It shouldn’t upset your stomach, and I can just get a new spoon. Barry can call Merle while you give me pointers.”

“You don’t need to, it’s fine really.” He waves his hands at Barry before turning to Lup. “And I’m not sure what help I can be with the cooking, I haven’t improved much these past few months even with Taako walking me through those other recipes.”

Lup snorts, “you’re improving much faster than Barry ever did. And I haven’t been helping Kravitz much with it, but he’s worse than anyone I’ve ever met at cooking. You’re doing just fine.”

Angus straightens up, discomfort momentarily disregarded, “Mr. Kravitz hasn’t needed to eat or cook in a long time, so he’s forgotten a lot of the basics so it’s not fair to judge me against him.”

“Sure, sure.” Lup waves her free hand in the air, the other still holding the spoon. “Still, this spoon is staying in the air until you taste it.” She glances at Barry, “and don’t worry about bothering Merle, he’ll never admit it but he likes the excuse to come over. Barry will pick him up; gives him more practice on perfecting the portal spell.”

Angus frowns, but reaches out to take the spoon anyways, “you really don’t need to call him. I’m sure it’ll pass by tomorrow.”

A hand is now on his shoulder, and Angus glances over to make eye contact with Barry, who speaks. “I won’t call him tonight, but if you still feel bad tomorrow we’ll tell him, okay?”

“Okay.” He’s not going to tell him if his stomach still hurts tomorrow, because it shouldn’t. Because he’s going to tell Taako right when he gets home and there will be nothing making him anxious or sad or excited or whatever that will make his stomach hurt. Because he’s going to do it.

He punctuates the thought by sticking the spoon in his mouth. Lup has turned back around, a fresh spoon stirring the pot, so she doesn’t see Angus’s eyes widen, but she turns back to face him with a smile when he gasps.

“This is really good, Miss Lup! Thank you.”

“Anything missing from it?” She crosses her arms, a new spoon dangling from her fingers as she twirls it around. It feels like a test, and the stomach ache is back.

Maybe it is from anxiety, because he used to get them before really hard tests. But why is he anxious? Taako is most likely going to take the news well, because Angus will finally be out of his hair.

(But maybe he doesn’t want that. Maybe Taako being okay with him moving out would hurt. Maybe the thought of Taako not just being okay, but being excited at the thought of him moving out is making him sick with worry and sadness and-)

“I’m not sure what else. It tastes perfect as-is.” He can’t think about cooking anymore. “I’m going to read on the couch, if that’s alright.”

The twirling of the spoon pauses, before she gives him a smile he knows is a bit forced, “okay, but when Taako comes home complaining that something is missing from the soup we’re blaming Barry.”

“Hey!”

Angus slides from the stool, moving to the sink and placing the spoon in there before heading to the couch. The living room is open to the kitchen and dining room, and he can hear Lup puttering around in there as she and Barry speak quietly to each other.

He’s unsure if they’re talking about him, or just being polite because he said he was reading, but his stomach twists again anyways. He picks up his book from where he set it on the coffee table this morning, and tries to read- he really does.

But he can’t focus.

The words blur together as he stares down at them blankly. He’s so zoned-out he misses the sound of the door opening, and the ensuing whispering in the kitchen.

It’s only when a hand is on his shoulder does he notice someone else is in the room, and he almost jumps out of his skin. Turning his head quickly, he catches sight of the gaudy sequin coat Taako had bought a few months ago. He’s paired it with a pair of jeans with tassels, and Angus doesn’t know much about fashion, but he’s fairly sure that’s not a normal outfit combination.

“Lup said your stomach hurt? Did you eat the so-called muffins Barry made yesterday? Because I told him those were toxic for human consumption. Probably dwarven consumption as well.”

Angus shakes his head, eyes following Taako as he slips his coat off and throws it on the armchair. He’d taken one look at those burnt muffins and slid them behind the milk, hiding them to prevent anyone from eating them. The elf walks around the couch and sits on the opposite side as him, tucking his knees under him as he stares at him with those eyes that are far more observant than most people think.

“Uh-huh. I’m throwing them out anyway. Don’t want to risk it.”

Angus nods, fiddling with the pages of his book. He runs a finger down the edge, finding a temporary calm in the weird texture of the uneven edges. He’s wearing a crease into the sides, he knows, but that’s fine. His grandpa liked to talk about the beauty of a well-loved book.

He’d spent all night planning on what he was going to stay. He wants to make sure Taako knows he isn’t throwing his kindness back in his face, and that he is going to be able to do this mostly on his own. He doesn’t have many belongings, so the move itself would be pretty easy. There won’t be much for Taako to worry about. Angus has always been very self-reliant. He isn’t a pushover, and is fine taking care of himself. While living here has been nice, he’s fine going back to living like that.

A foot knocking against his knee gets his attention, and he glances over to Taako. The elf’s face is pinched, ears flicking back and forth.

It’s a weird expression to see directed at him. Taako speaks, “you with me, Agnes?”

He nods, eyes flitting away. The nickname is an endearment, something he figured out soon after he started living on the moonbase. Their story being projected into his mind only reinforced that knowledge; seeing how Taako interacted with the others (and how the others teased everyone as well) proves that Taako being mean normally shows he cares.

He states instead at the fireplace; it’s still kinda dirty because no one has wanted to clean it out from when Lup caused it to flare up during a particularly intense board game night (they banned board games when the fire was going after that, at least while Lup was in her lich form. Far too much magical energy waiting to be released).

“Angus. You sure you’re feeling okay?”

He doesn’t mean to flinch, but seeing a hand come towards his face after already being stressed all day caused him to react unfavorably.

The hand yanks itself away, and Angus forces himself to look over at Taako, apology already leaving. “Sorry, sir. I just didn’t expect it- I’m fine, really.” He almost says ‘I promise,’ but stops himself. He doesn’t like lying, and it wouldn’t have been a lie but it wouldn’t have been the full truth.

Taako doesn't seem to believe him anyways, as he squints at him. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Angus starts, “I’m not sick!”

“I know you’re not sick, but you’re acting all weird.” He wiggles his fingers, and it almost makes Angus laugh.

He takes a deep, steadying breath. It only makes his stomach clench even more. His face gets hot, and suddenly his throat is tight and he can’t- he can’t do it- he doesn’t want-

“I need to move out.” The words leave him at once, just barely slow enough to be comprehensible.

The soft conversation in the kitchen stops at once, though neither of them walk over to the couch. Taako is staring at him, face blank.

He finds himself beginning to ramble. He hates it, he’s normally more composed, but working a case is much, much easier than navigating people he cares about. “Mr. Miller offered me a position at his school once I graduate, and the school is on the other side of town. I can’t make the commute each day, it’s too far and the walk would be too much. So, I found a small place that’s cheap, and once I get access to my parents money they left me I’ll be fine on that front. And-”

“Miller? Lucas Miller?” Taako cuts him off. He hasn’t done that in a long while, and it shuts Angus up immediately.

“Yes? He’s opening his school, the Academy of Arcane Sciences.”

“And he wants you to teach there?”

Angus' face flushes, and he gets hot with indignation. “I’m very smart, sir. I am very qualified to teach, and it’s not a stretch that he would seek me out and-”

Taako puts his hands up. “Not what I was implying. You’re just young.” He glares off to the side, before pulling his crystal out. “Thought Miller was above hiring a child.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“How old are you, then?” Taako glances back over at him, eyebrows raised in that annoying way he gets when he thinks he’s made an excellent point. He’s typing without looking down, and Angus wants to know what he’s doing.

“I- that’s not what I meant.”

Taako leans back on the couch, looking back at his crystal. “You should be focused on being a kid, not teaching nerds at Lucas’s subpar school.”

The indignation that started when Taako brushed off what he’s been worrying about has been building and building. He clenches his hands into fists, letting the book drop to the floor as he stands and yells, “stop trying to make me have the childhood you wanted!”

He regrets it immediately, but can’t bring himself to look at Taako. The room is so, so quiet. It’s almost worse than if they yelled at him. He runs past the couch, dodging the hand that reaches out as he passes by Taako. He slips into the room he’s been staying in, closing the door and locking it behind him. He sits on the floor, back resting against his bed, and shoves his face into his knees, pulling them tightly into himself.

At least he made it easy, right? He’ll wait for Taako to cool down, finish packing his things, and leave.

He doesn’t even know why he said that. He knows Taako was just being nice, even if he phrased it poorly. He just wants him to be a kid because he knows what it’s like to not have a childhood. Angus had no reason to say that. He didn’t mean it.

The hot press of tears builds in his eyes and he forces them down. He has no right to cry when he was the one in the wrong.

Knowing Taako, Lup, and Barry are in there, talking about him, is almost as bad as the guilt. Not knowing what they’re saying is disquieting.

It doesn’t take long for a soft knocking on his door to fill the room. He says nothing, but looks up at it. He stares at the handle, checking it’s still locked.

“Angus, it’s Lup. Can I come in?”

He considers not answering. They’ve been good about not barging in before, when he makes it clear he wants to be alone. He doesn’t want to be alone, though. He’s just not sure he wants to have this conversation.

“Yeah.” He stands, unlocking the door and holding the handle. Breathes. Opens the door.

Ears tilted down low, Lup stands there with hands in a neutral position at her side. Gods, she’s being so aware of her movements right now so she doesn’t startle him. He turns, walks over to his desk, and stands by it. He’s now very aware of his backpack and small suitcase against the wall, half-packed. Not enough to be obvious, but enough so that when he told them he was moving he could do so quickly.

Lup is staring at it. She hesitates, then goes to sit on his bed. She doesn’t shut the door all the way, leaving it just barely cracked.

He hates being treated like this.

“We’re not mad.” She begins, and Angus can’t bring himself to look at her as she talks, staring instead at his bags. “Taako isn’t mad either. We’re just confused as to why you want to move out.”

Angus furrows his brow, glancing over to Lup for a second before retraining his eyes on his bags, “I told T- I said that it was too far for me to walk there each day.”

“Me and Barry have basically mastered rifts, we could bring you there and back you know. So could Kravitz.”

“I already thought about asking you to, but you’re called to go help the Raven Queen randomly, and I wouldn’t want to be stuck on campus.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “I didn’t phrase it very well out there.” He forces himself to make eye contact, “I am very grateful for everything you all have provided me, and I’m not leaving because I’m unhappy or anything. I just know I’ll be fine on my own, and I really want to go to school.”

Lup purses her mouth, “I’m not going to argue that you aren’t responsible or that you couldn’t live on your own. But you are young, there’s no reason you should be teaching at this age.”

“I’m not though! I’m finishing high school, and then student teaching until I graduate from his school. I’ll just be helping the professors until I have the proper qualifications.” He clenches his hands, trying to keep himself calm. He doesn’t like when people don’t understand what he’s saying.

She takes in what he says, keeping her gaze steady. “Okay. That’s better. But, you still shouldn’t be living on your own, little dude.”

“I used to-”

She holds her hand up, “come on, this is a group conversation. The other two people living here should be here for this.” Angus casts an anxious glance at the door when she says that. She continues on, “before we go out there, though, we do need to talk about what you said.”

Panic fizzles through him again. “I know! I didn’t mean it, and I’m really, really sorry. I just got frustrated because he was patronizing me and I don’t like being treated like that. I’m very smart and capable- I’ve done- I’m just-” He feels his emotions begin to well up again, and it only makes him more upset. He knows he’s more mature than this. He’s caught numerous serial killers, solved murder cases, and helped so many people. He can keep up with serious adult conversations, as well as banter with everyone easily. He’s good at words. He hates getting sensitive like this.

“Hey, hey. Angus, it’s okay. Breathe.” She steps towards him, moving slowly to not startle him and he hates how he’s already shown that she needs to do that. “Taako was being rude when you spoke to him, no one is denying that. But what you said at the end was also pretty rude. And we understand needing to take a minute to ourselves, but we have to make sure we have hard conversations. You’re telling us you don’t want us to treat you like a child, and we are not going to baby you. But you are still very young, especially compared to us.” She closes the gap to him and rests a hand on his shoulder, kneeling down. “Being mature means hard conversations. Being nice means having harder conversations. All we want from you, Angus, is for you to be honest with us and listen to us when we want to be honest with you.” She removes her hand from his shoulder and spreads her arms wide, offering a hug.

If he says no, she won’t make a fuss. He knows this.

He crashes into her, smushing her face into her shoulder. Her arms tighten around him as she runs her hand through his hair. “Here’s the plan. We go out there, Taako apologizes to you for being an asshole, you apologize for snapping, and then we all talk about you moving out, okay?”

Pulling his head away from her shoulder, he nods. He knows if he tried to speak, he would devolve into tears. She smiles and pulls him back into the hug.

They stay there for another moment, before Angus pulls away. Lup stands and gestures for him to lead the way.

His stomach clenches again, but some it’s not as intense as it was a few minutes ago.

They walk down the short hallway, and find Taako and Barry sitting on the couch. Both are staring at them as they enter the room, and Angus finds his hands twisting into the hem of his shirt.

“I shouldn’t have said that, sir. I’m sorry.” Angus says it fast. He hopes it doesn’t sound dishonest, the way it tumbled out of his mouth, but he knows if he slowed down the tears would fall too and he doesn’t want that.

Taako moves to stand, but Angus watches as Barry’s hold on his hand keeps him on the couch. Taako, instead smiles. “It’s okay, Ango. I was being an ass first. Should have listened to you all the way instead of cutting you off. Taako’s better than that.”

Lup brushes past Angus, moving to sit on the armchair next to the couch. Angus stays where he is. “I am still moving, though.”

No one speaks for a moment, but all three of them look at each other. After a moment of silent conversation, the type born from living together for a long, long time, Taako speaks up. “Okay. We’ve been talking about getting a bigger house anyways. This one is too close to the city and when the others visit it’s far too crowded. We need more extra bedrooms.”

Angus blinks. Then blinks again. “What?”

Lup sighs. “That’s one way to bring it up. We’ve already been talking about it- there’s a chunk of land just outside of the east end of the city. It’s not far from the school we assume is the one you plan on attending. Magnus has already said he’ll help us fix up the house there.”

He is still wildly confused.

Barry gathers that, and he sighs, “we will all move. So you can be closer to your school.”

He starts shaking his head, “no, you guys just settled down, you don’t need to do that.”

“Do you really think you could make us do anything we don’t want to do?” Taako asks as he begins to walk over to Angus. He mimics the position Lup took earlier, squatting in front of him. “If you really don’t want to live with us, fine. But we had already been talking about getting a bigger place. This isn’t a sudden decision- if Krav wasn’t on some mission he could tell you the same thing. The house we were looking at was empty before the Hunger arrived, and it got fucked up even more during the fight, so the land there is cheap. So if you want to stay with us- and I’m not asking what you think we want, I’m asking what you want- then one of the rooms will be yours.”

The tears he’s been working so hard to hold back begin to fall, so he just nods quickly. He lets Taako pull him into a hug, “I’d- I like living with you. Are you- you sure?”

“When has Taako ever lied?”

Angus just laughs, and does so even harder when he hears a pillow thwack against the back of Taako’s head (it’s a common occurrence in this house).

He feels someone approach on the side, and their hug is yanked to the side, both of them stumbling as Lup pulls them towards her, and he glances up to see Barry hovers right beside them. Taako must see him too, “Come on, Barold. Looks like it’s hug time.”

It’s awkward, and not at all very comfortable, but it’s warm. Angus’s tears have dried up, and he’s about to pull away when the familiar zip of a portal being created precedes Kravitz’s voice.

“Oh, am I interrupting?”

Taako laughs, “just missing out on a group hug.”

“Come on,” Lup speaks up now, her voice coming from just behind Angus’s ear, “it’s a family hug.”

Angus barely has time to process that when Kravitz steps forward. He’s almost as awkward as Barry, but it’s nice.

They separate eventually, Lup heads back to the kitchen to finish the food, with Barry close behind. Kravitz gives Taako a hello kiss, the two of them sitting on the couch, and from their low tones Angus can tell Taako is giving him a quick rundown of… today.

Angus see’s his book was placed on the coffee table at some point, and sits on the armchair once he grabs it, pushing Taako's discarded jacket to the side. Opening it to where he left off, the page is bent with a large crease down the center, from when he dropped it on the floor. He reads for a minute, before Taako speaks up.

“Mending should get rid of that crease, if you like.” Taako says.

Angus just smiles and shakes his head. “It just proves it’s used.”

He shrugs, looking down at his crystal, and Kravitz nudges him. It causes Taako to huff and hold out the crystal. A flyer for a recreational soccer team is displayed.

Join the new Neverwinter recreational soccer league! Ages 10-14. Help your kids make new memories and friends- Create everlasting bonds!

Angus frowns, “what’s this?”

“Soccer team. Was looking for one in the area when we started looking for potential houses to move to. Planned on signing you up.”

Tears begin to well up in his eyes again, and Angus finds himself frustrated. Not with Taako, no, of course not. Not now, not with this. But with himself, and how emotional he’s being.

Because he’s been talking about Caleb Cleveland books at Taako for so long now, and he’d always assumed he’d only been tolerating it. But Caleb Cleveland was a part of a soccer team- it wasn’t even a big part of the books. Angus has probably only mentioned it once or twice. And yet, Taako specifically looked for a soccer team and-

“Thank you, Taako!” He grins, and the way Taako’s ears are flickering, he knows he’s embarrassed.

“Just thought you could use the exercise. You know, you can’t be running around solving crimes if you can’t run.”

The smile doesn’t leave his face as he snarks back, “but sir, you never do physical training and you saved the world.”

“I just transmute my legs to be strong and fast if I need it. Or get Magnus to carry me.”

He leans further onto Kravitz, who smiles. “Or he just calls me to pick him up.”

“Exactly!”

Snuggling back into his chair, Angus holds the book close to his chest, “thank you, really, sir.”

“Come on, little dude. We’ve been over this. The ‘sir’ thing is so formal.”

“Would you prefer me to call you ‘sappy bitch’?” He turns up his fake innocent charm, the one he uses often on cases, as he says it.

Kravitz bursts out laughing, and he can hear Barry and Lup in the kitchen do the same.

Taako flares up, pointing an accusing finger at him, “who taught you that kind of fucking language!”

“I’ve always known curse words!”

“Not in my house!” Taako stands, and Angus climbs out of the chair and starts running. He knows what will happen if Taako catches him, so he runs to Barry, calling out for help.

Barry, the traitor, only holds him still so Taako can grab him and ruffle his hair. He begins yelling at Barry, cursing his name, but it’s hard to get the words out through his laughter.

Kravitz is the one who saves him, pulling him out of their arms and holding him high in the air. “Do not assault the child, please.”

Taako steps towards Kravitz, “you heard what he called me, didn’t you?”

“And he was right.”

Taako’s affronted gasp is so loud, it must scratch at his throat as he begins coughing.

Angus is giggling, kicking his dangling feet lightly in the air.

Whatever Lup is pulling off the stove smells delicious, and he cannot wait to begin eating.

As they sit down, Taako looks over at him and says, "you know, you should be careful about accepting a teaching job at Lucas's lame school. Taako here is working on a much cooler idea, and he could use a smart kid like you, if you can pass the rigorous application process."

"What is it?" Angus asks, getting excited. He hasn't heard Taako talking about anything like this.

"Top secret."

Angus laughs, "it won't be for long!"

"You're pre-emptively fired, then."

"Wait-"

#angus mcdonald #taako #lup #barry bluejeans #taz balance #my works

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asterlark · 7 years

Photo

nothing is a waste if you learn from it → a magnus burnsides playlist

listen on playmoss || text tracklist and chosen lyrics under the cut

if you’ve ever been on my playmoss you know i’ve had this up there for like, months bc i made it when i was first listening to taz lmao but since the balance arc is ending tomorrow i thought i’d post it now! not like it ending is gonna stop me from making content for it but. yknow. enjoy !!

01. i have made mistakes // the oh hellos

“we are not alone in the dark with our demons and we have made mistakes but we've learned from them”

02. landslide // dixie chicks

“oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? can the child within my heart rise above? can i sail through the changing ocean tides? can i handle the seasons of my life?”

03. down in the valley // the head and the heart

“call it one drink too many call it pride of a man but it don't make no difference if you sit or you stand cause they both end in trouble and start with a grin”

04. silver and gold // city and colour

“suddenly it was all so clear to me; there was nothing left in which to believe and everything i loved and feared had all at once disappeared”

05. we don’t eat // james vincent mcmorow

“if this is redemption, why do i bother at all? there's nothing to mention, and nothing has changed still i’d rather be working for something, than praying for the rain so i wander on, until someone else is saved”

06. you are my sunshine // jasmine thompson

“the other night dear, as i lay sleeping i dreamed i held you in my arms but when i awoke, dear, i was mistaken so i hung my head and i cried”

07. fare thee well // oscar isaac

“if i had wings like noah’s dove i’d fly the river to the one i love fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well”

08. the weight of us // sanders bohlke

“the time has come, let us be brave shake off all your sins”

09. heartbeats // josé gonzález

“to call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough for me, no”

10. blackbird // sarah mclachlan

“blackbird singing in the dead of night take these broken wings and learn to fly all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise”

11. i am weary let me rest // the cox family

“kiss me mother kiss your darlin' lay my head upon your breast throw your loving arms around me i am weary let me rest”

12. eagle song // the staves

“i am a cardinal red i am of blood and of bones and of heart and of head a thousand miles ahead and behind oh to be lost, oh to be wasting my time”

#the adventure zone #tazb #magnus #magnus burnsides #my fanmix #taz fanmix #taz playlist #WARNING THIS IS A SAD MANGO PLAYLIST #probably dont listen if you dont wanna be sad about magnus #it's like lowkey a magnus/julia playlist but #it's also about magnus and his friends and how he feels about himself and life and death and shit #i made this a while ago but im still very emo about the songs on here so i wanted to post it #im gonna post my ipre playlist tomorrow!#and im working on barry/lup and taako/kravitz ones and eventually carey/killian too #so like. this bitch is gonna keep making balance arc content till the end of time dont worry #i still have the rest of the ipre crew's aesthetics to make and post not to mention other npcs i wanna do aesthetics for #SO UH yeah #anyway playmoss is annoying and runs into copyright shit all the time so let me know if songs need to be replaced #and give this a reblog if u wanna :)

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mcnuggyy · 3 years

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How come Taako is not allowed to have nonhuman skin tones but all your unicorn ocs have nonhuman skin tones? Like, honest question, I genuinely don’t want to come across as rude but I can’t figure out what is different

1) I am just a little artist on tumblr... idk why you want to compare me to HUGE content creators but sure lets get into this!

2) They (my unicorn characters) are magical beings that are MEANT to be disconnected from humanity... it’s kind of the plot.... both emotionally, and physically? They can’t even get the nose right... sigh.... so in terms of story there’s a big reason I don’t want them to look like humans! Also! THERE ARE!!! Humans!!!! In the story!!! So I clearly have to distinguish them from the actual humans? And even then my unicorns characters can come in all sorts of colors so ya know, there’s definitley unicorns with more human skin tones (just not as common, but again trying to avoid this to distinguish them from actual human characters)... (also there’s this issue in the story were unicorns are meant to be very shitty creatures who don’t care about humanity and are overall big assholes... so I would prefer to keep a good chunk of them white coded ex: Trixie )

3) even though my unicorns are multicolored.... I try to be mindful about racial coding!! Like to me i obviously have made the twins Latine, but that’s cause they’re based off me and one of my sisters, Kay, Elly, Butterscotch and Sunny are DEFINITLEY not white coded, and if that wasn’t obvious I would be glad to try and figure out a way to redesign them so that this is clearer!

3.5) okay bonus quiz! back to racial coding, you can tell Hal is white right? And you can tell Sunny is black right? So light blue pale Taako, with blonde hair and a huge pointy nose, look at his design and tell me :) what’s the racial coding there?

4) okay back to the first point and how there’s humans in my story... so there are actual humans in this story, and most of them are kids of color, because the other half of my story takes place in LA, (aye wow that’s where I grew up!!) I wanted to focus on what it’s like being a minority in a place like LA, using both my own experiences, the experiences of my family, and of my friends! Yeyeye!! I want this world to feel very different compared to Unicopia, more human and real, with a different background style, and even what almost feels like a different art style all together??? But ye!!)

5) you are TOTALLY aloud to have your characters have nonhuman skin tones, but you ALWAYS, have to be mindful of racial stereotypes... I’ve talked about this before but, a character w Orange skin like Mel, is not inherently racist! She’s essentially an angry kid with a suit (And because the unicorn world has already been established this helps set that up as well) HOWEVER, put that orange skin on a character that has a thick dark mustache and an accent and he’ll throw a poncho on there and now you have a racial caricature! And even then! You’re always gonna want to be mindful of both how these stereotypes change and their history!! Always always!! I always try to be super careful, and I am ofc open to criticism and critique!! I want to learn and grow as a human and an artist!!! I hope everyone does too!

(Maybe this should have been the first point but yeah! You’re aloud to do “fun” skin tones but when people constantly rather have non human skin tones over black or brown... well.... that’s not very cool... and actually very shitty.... but we can have endless amounts of white blonde haired elves I guess?? And even more so for a character like Taako who has a whole story arc about his relationship to Tex-mex food... idk man... sighhhh)

6) You know what the Mcelroys need to do more of? What they did with Argo and Firbolg but with their human/elf/half-elf/halfling/etc. characters too... they said, Argo has blue/green skin w scales, EPIC, Firbolg has gray/blue skin, POGGERS, super cool and helpful!!! Why are they so afraid when it comes to let’s sayyyy a human or elf or half elf.... Well I mean come on I know the answer to that, they are white content creators and don’t want to make that call, so they leave that to us! But because of this they’ve also fallen into the “my character has no race” trap... which brings a WHOLE lot of other issues that people wayyy smarter than me have explained before!

(Even if they are in a fantasy world, everything is based off of something and it is not free of the fact that in the real world, poc exist, and we all have different cultures and unique experiences, what don’t we get to be in fantasy stories too? No issue with Europeans though... )

7) it’s complicating and context is everything!! But sometimes all you have to do is look at a design to just KNOW it’s not sitting right... I feel like blue Taako is VERY obvious but again, not everyone has the same experiences and knowledge to come to that conclusion... I just happen to be a Mex-Am with a Jewish gf, but most white people aren’t going to get it... luckily there have been essays upon essays and documentaries about harmful caricatures and racial coding, and stereotypes!! WOWIE!! Please try and educate yourself if you can! I know I will be too!

8) maybe also? I shouldn’t have to keep explaining myself so much? At this point I’m just repeating myself, and it doesn’t even matter at this point, I just want people in fandom to be aware of these things and for content creators to be even MORE aware of these issues.... but again, I’m just a little artist, what the hell do I know, I know I brought it up, but damn, sure wish people would go research and look things up before dumping all their weird sad little questions to me... I’m just one dude, and you know maybe I’m glad people aren’t sending my other friends questions like this, cause it fucking SUCKS... but anyways!

Hope that helps!!

#callate guero #replies #anonymous #taz racism

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somelazyassartist · 2 years

Text

It feels like I've already reblogged everything there is about Jocasta Nightstrider before and it makes me sad because I love Jocasta and I wish there was more content about them because I really really love them. I'm sure there's some content I haven't seen if it's only tagged with "Taako" but I'd probably have to dig through all the posts that are about non-Jocasta Taako to find them, I just wish there was more content of them to appreciate y'know?? :(

#Jocasta #Jocasta Nightstrider

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patriciasage · 3 years

Text

Dawn Patrol

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary:

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

[a Stolen Century story - Barry thinks Magnus is flirting with Lup. He's wrong.]

posted in full under the break but you can find me on A03!!

Barry Bluejeans has a crush on Lup the moment he sees her on his first day with the I.P.R.E., but he falls completely and permanently in love with her around Cycle 10.

He speaks the mongoose language with her and Taako like they’re a secret club, and her soft, mischievous smile makes his heart flutter. Barry and Lup combine their expertise of science and arcana, respectively, staying up late into the night drawing diagrams on the Starblaster’s wall. She tells him about her childhood, about how she views the world. She’s vulgar, bold, impulsive, but also incredibly soft and sweet. She remembers what he likes and doesn't like to eat. They play fetch together in Puppy Town and that’s the first time Barry imagines her as his wife. He tells his brain to slow the fuck down; they’ve only known each other for a decade.

When Taako dies for his first time in Cycle 12, Lup prefers to spend nights with Barry in his lab, curled up in his desk chair. Barry gladly provides his company and cozy blankets to her in solace, and she barely leaves his side that year. It’s nice to spend so much time with her, but it also hurts him to see her so sad and trying so hard to hide it. When Taako materializes next to her on the deck as they speed away from another consumed world, she hugs her twin for at least two full minutes, and Barry resolves to do his best to protect her…and protect her heart.

Barry thinks he might have a chance. After all, they are a crew of seven, and one of them is her brother. He figures that Lup might want him, even if it’s just for a night (and although he wants more with her, so much more, he would take anything she offers). But it seems he’s not the only one carrying a flame for Lup.

Magnus Burnsides is a huge, handsome, kind young man who has never half-assed anything in his life. So, when he begins to flirt with Lup it’s pretty obvious. He’s constantly showing off, doing ridiculous and dangerous things to impress her. He attempts to learn more about elf culture and magic, talking animatedly to Lup and Taako while they cook supper. He’s courteous, charming, and brave in ways that Barry could never mold himself.

Magnus also notices how Taako’s death affected his sister, and he seems to make the same resolution as Barry. From that day forward, Magnus always has Taako’s back, even going so far as to put himself in danger to protect the wizard. In Cycle 16, Taako is retrieving the Light of Creation and sets off a trap. Before Barry can even react, Magnus leaps forward and pushes the elf out of the way. Magnus is impaled by six spears. When the fighter appears on the Starblaster with his signature black eye months later, Taako punches him hard in the arm. “Don’t do that again, you big idiot!” There's a stone in Barry's stomach as Lup kisses Magnus on the cheek and quietly thanks him.

Compared to Magnus, Barry feels small and boring and incapable.

It’s not even possible to hate Magnus, though, because he’s so damn hospitable. Instead, Barry resigns himself to the fact that Lup will likely choose the fighter over him. He enjoys her company, tries to keep everyone out of trouble, and finds contentment in this seemingly endless time with his new family.

The Beach World on Cycle 21 is a welcome reprieve. They find the light very early and everyone just relaxes for once. Even Merle enjoys himself as he recovers in the med bay; the others visit him often and begrudgingly help him work on his book of poetry. Davenport practices self-care, Lucretia gets lost in her art, and Taako learns how to surf. But things aren’t too leisurely because Magnus decides he’s going to “train” them to be ready for surprise attacks.

Barry is sitting on the beach next to Lup one hot morning. She’s lying on her back on their beach blanket with a large, floppy hat covering her eyes. She’s resting her arms under her head, telling Barry about a festival her aunt took her to when she was a kid. Barry is trying very hard not to be completely distracted by the sight of her armpit hair, her stylish bathing suit, and her beautiful, brown skin shining in the sun. Barry, in contrast, is sitting under a huge umbrella, wearing a white T-shirt, jean shorts, and a thick layer of sunscreen.

Suddenly, a huge shadow covers the sun and a loud voice shouts, “Magnus!”

Barry yelps and drops his glass of lemonade on the blanket. Magnus sinks to his knees in the sand so he’s eye-to-eye with the scientist. “You gotta be ready, Bluejeans. Anywhere, anytime.” He smiles over Barry’s shoulder. “I didn’t get you at all, did I?”

Lup has lifted up her hat a little to look at them, but her relaxed position is unchanged, unbothered. She smirks, “You’re going to have to do better than that, Burnsides.”

Magnus winks. “Challenge accepted.” Barry feels like a jellyfish blob on the sand between them.

And then Magnus takes off his shirt.

It takes all of Barry’s self-control not to throw himself into the ocean and let himself drown. Magnus has these ridiculous broad shoulders, an even patch of hair across his chest, and his stomach protrudes over his waistband only slightly in that sexy way. His skin is browned and freckled from long days in the sun and his ridiculous biceps flex as he throws his shirt on the blanket next to them. Barry, in contrast, is a pale potato of a man.

He’s ready to get up and leave them to their flirting when Magnus speaks up. “Well, see ya later!”

Magnus hands Barry his now empty lemonade glass and then stands up, brushing sand off of his hairy legs. He sprints across the beach until he’s met with the resistance of the water, making a huge splash. “Hey! Taako!”

Caught up in conversation with Lup, Barry had forgotten about the wizard. Taako is sitting on his surfboard, floating on large but gentle waves about thirty feet away from shore. He’s retying his long blonde hair up into a messy bun. “Hey, big guy. What’s crackin?”

“Just doing some training, you know?”

“Yeah, you got Barry good.”

“How’s surfing today?”

“It’s going off. I’ve only been in the soup a few times but that was early in the morning. Dawn patrol, am I right?”

Magnus laughs. “Yeah, for sure.” Taako has been almost creating his own language at this point.

Beside Barry, Lup snorts. “What the fuck does that even mean?” she says. “Magnus shouldn’t encourage him like that but, eh, you know how he is with Taako.”

“How he –” Barry looks back over at the fighter and it’s like a crisp breath of air enters his lungs. Magnus has sat himself on the sand with his feet in the water. He rests his chin on his hand and watches Taako prepare to carve another wave. Magnus cheers when the wizard stands on the board and laughs when Taako falls into the water. Taako’s long hair is out of its bounds again, cascading over his bare, dark shoulders. As he climbs onto his surfboard, he flips Magnus off. Magnus blushes.

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

Magnus hasn’t been flirting with Lup. Barry has only seen him flirt when they’re both with Lup and Lup is with Taako. And Barry was so immersed in his own insecurity that he didn’t stop to actually observe what was going on around him. Some scientist he is.

At the end of the day, Barry watches Magnus offer to carry Taako’s surfboard back to the cabin. Taako, forever dramatic, convinces Magnus to carry him back as well. It doesn’t take much convincing. Barry looks at Magnus’s pleased and flustered expression with Taako latched onto his back, complaining, and Barry internally ridicules himself for being so dense.

A few days later, Barry asks Taako to teach him to swim. They work on it every morning for a few weeks. It’s brutal in the beginning – Barry flounders whenever he tries to go horizontal and Taako has a tendency to point and laugh rather than help. But they both get better at it and soon they have an amicable and productive routine. Barry goes from indiscriminately splashing to a solid doggy paddle to an almost front crawl. And Taako claps and coos at him like a proud mother.

On the last day of their morning swimming lessons, Barry thanks him and gets up the courage to have an honest discussion. “There have been times where I haven’t been able to hang out with everybody because y’all go swimming and there are times where there’s people I, like, you know, want to hang out with and I just haven’t been able to do it and that’s not a good look and it makes me look like a big nerd and I um… It’s just that— I just, like— I don’t know. It’s… Never mind, it’s stupid. Thanks for teaching me how to swim.”

“Who are you afraid of looking silly in front of?” Taako asks. They’re both standing waist-deep in the water and Barry tries to make his anxiety dissolve. Taako’s approval means the absolute world in this situation.

“I look up to Lup a lot…” he admits.

And Taako is graciously chill. He places his hand on the scientists’ shoulder comfortingly and speaks with rare seriousness. “Barry, you’re locked in and this wave’s crashing all around you, my man, and I— I don’t begrudge you anything. You know, we’ve lost a lot, uh, and there’s a lot more we might lose...but the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of – and it’s time.” This is a side to Taako that he doesn’t show often, someone genuine and wise and openly affectionate.

The wizard’s words echo in his head often – “You got all the time in the world, my man.”

Barry is feeling relieved and grateful as he walks from the beach that day with his sunhat on. Lup will tease him about his sunburn but it will be worth it to be able to swim with her. As he reaches the part of the beach where sand transforms into foliage, something stops him in his trek – the sight of a hulking figure sitting on a rock. It’s Magnus. “Is this another training thing?” Barry asks cautiously as he approaches.

Magnus doesn’t look up. He seems dejected. “No, it’s not. I’m just thinking.”

“Um,” Barry fidgets with the string on his swim trunks. “You alright? What’s going on?”

“I dunno, you tell me, Barry!” Magnus says, gesticulating with his large hands. “What’s going on with these morning swimming sessions?”

Magnus looks disappointed and self-conscious; a combination Barry is very familiar with. He has to remind himself to close his mouth.

Magnus Burnsides is jealous of Barry Bluejeans.

Barry begins to laugh. This just makes Magnus’s cheeks turn red and his eyebrows furrow even more. “Fine, okay, you don’t need to –”

“No, no,” Barry interrupts, approaching the fighter. He places his hand on Magnus’s huge bicep. “Magnus, I don’t know how to - … Okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m not worried. You’re a good guy. It’s fine. I just thought that maybe…” Magnus shakes his head, and his expression clears. “I asked him if he could teach me to surf and he said he was too busy teaching you to swim so I guess I was just disappointed because I really wanted to…learn how to surf.”

“Magnus. Taako doesn’t want to…swim with me. And I only asked Taako to teach me because I wanted to swim with Lup.” Magnus looks up at him with hopeful dark eyes. “I really want to swim with Lup. I think I want to swim with Lup for the rest of my life.” Barry chuckles. “For a long time, I thought you wanted to swim with Lup!”

Magnus lets out a startled laugh of his own. “No, I… I want to, uh, swim with Taako. But I’m not sure he wants to swim with me.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to swim with old Barry, that’s for sure.” Barry shrugs. “I can ask Lup, maybe? She’ll know.”

Magnus stands up from the rock. His shoulders are relaxed now. “No, it’s okay. I think he needs more time. I’ll ask him myself one day.”

The Beach World is a gift they didn’t know they needed. They grow closer as a family. Lucretia commemorates it through portraiture. Lup and Taako continue to be firecrackers, burning bright, loud, and dangerous. And Barry and Magnus continue to stare with stars in their eyes.

Merle, Lucretia, and Davenport make bets.

In Cycle 25, Merle wins.

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