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• for my lover, my deepest love…


it was my pain, my passion

for wine, the one that has the color of vomit, the one that tastes like poison

my deepest love

brought me abstinence, brought me darkness

didn’t let me feel, but made me betray

betray my conscience, my days of sobriety


made me have to let him go, but it remains in my blood, in my fantasies…


i keep wanting you, my deepest love.

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Let’s play a game. Let’s dance around each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Let’s carefully plan our next step while making sure not to fall for the tricks of each other. Let’s play a game. One more time. Our last and final round; winner takes all.

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Carta aberta pra ele

Eu sei que talvez tu nunca leia isso, mas eu queria pedir desculpa, desculpa se pareci ser ingrato, chato demais o tempo todo, se reclamei demais. eu realmente amei tudo o que a gente teve e tu segue sendo a melhor coisa que me aconteceu ano passado. não saio dessa relação com nenhum tipo de sentimento ruim em relação a ti. eu só não te procuro pra te falar essas coisas porque eu não quero te causar nenhum problema, mas espero que um dia tu sinta isso. eu errei também, e também preciso mudar. eu só pedi o tempo porque as coisas não andavam legais pra mim. vou levar tudo isso como lição, espero que tu também tenha tirado algo de bom nisso tudo e seja melhor nas próximas relações.

vc merece o mundo…

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I see you

And your half-baked kindness

The same thing I adored about you

Are now the things I hate.

Your stupid lighthearted attitude

Smiling like nothing is ever wrong

Trying to act all friendly

When you don’t even know whats going on

I used to smile when I saw you

But now I loathe the thought of even being near you

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You choose to lie

You decided -

That very day -

That our relationship wasn’t worth it.

When you went to her house

To do the things you did

You were the one that choose this ending


So don’t come begging for another chance

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In an endless wonder of what I could have been,

Drifting from a past that still haunts me,

The memories cause me pain,

And yet I don’t feel anything at all. .

Is this what they call emptiness?

Is this what they call a shell?

Something so hallow that it could break with the slightest touch,

Who am I anymore?

It’s getting harder to tell.

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this is probably my last day. i’m tired and sick. sick in my own mind. I already gave up.it’s all i have to tell. thanks to everyone who helped, supported and tell me well in some way. but I’m already sick of hurting myself and other people. especially the people I love. then that’s it. probably another suicide note lying around. I’ll see you… later.

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No me siento mucho mejor. El encierro está haciendo estragos en mi mente. No es que sea muy sociable en mi día a día, pero al menos afuera puedo enfocar mi atención en cosas ajenas a mi desorden interior. Siento un pozo sin fin en el pecho que cada vez se amplía un poco más, absorbiendo cada milésima de sentimiento, barriendo con todo y solo dejando un vacío abrumador. Quiero fumar. Pero después de recorrer 4 tiendas y no hallar cigarrillos en ninguna, me di por vencida así como con la mayoría de las cosas que se ponen difíciles en mi vida. Soy egoísta. Estamos en medio de un aislamiento y pese a que no salí solo-por-cigarrillos, siento que siempre me cago en todo. El otro día golpeé la pared y me lastime un nudillo, se puso un poco morado y duele, pero esas leves punzadas me apartan de pensar por un momento. Mientras bebo té intento convencerme de que no estoy hundiéndome en el pasado y retomando conductas que mis padres no aprobarían. Solo fue un golpe. Necesito encontrar cigarrillos pronto.

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