A love that never lasted
Have you known something
so definite that not even god
could say you’re wrong?
I have
I have known the august sun
warm against my skin.
The smell of the autumn rain
that sets in right before
the first drops of fall.
The crunch of the yellow leaves
that scatter the sidewalks unchallenged.
The honeyed breeze laced with the
last bloom of the season
before the frost sets in.
The comfort of warm tea
and cashmere sweaters.
I know it’s not much, but I’ve know these things as a person.
A person made of amber
Encasing my heart
while it still beats.
The sky weeps at their artistry.
The sun is envious of them, for Icarus would
have fallen for them instead of the sun had he
watched them shine.
The oceans crash in quiet rage
for the green of the sea was stolen
for their eyes.
The birds sang for them
and the leaves swoon in their presence.
Their arms feel of freedom
and their lips taste of home.
Their eyes tell me stories
and their company is safe.
No god can persuade me
that what I have known is wrong.
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I was tagged a few days ago by @rainbow-unicornosaur and I’m so sorry mint I didn’t realize this was sitting for so long! 😭 but here it is nonetheless, and if anyone hasn’t done this yet pls do so and say I tagged ya😘
Last song: “tell me how” by paramore #sadbitchhours
Last show: Classic Concentration — we stan 1980 Alex Trebek ✨
Currently watching: not really watching anything rn but I am deep in a binge of “Stuff You Missed in History Class” podcast from the beginning in 2008, I’m currently in April 2021 so almost caught up!
Currently reading: I forgot how to do that (aka eyes go ouch, but I have been listening to Dorothy Parker short stories audiobook 🤙)
Current obsession: in minecraft under my house I’ve been digging a big hole :) it’s very big and getting bigger by the day
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You know what makes writing smut/sex hard?
Smelling like BioFreeze and feeling 120 years of age.
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Deleted all other social media from my phone, so I’m officially reverting back to my 2014 tumblr phase. I don’t think any of my mutuals are active anymore, so I’m very excited to just scream into the internet void.
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the thoughts are still there. they linger...
like oil on a newly washed pan
like that minty aftertaste when you eat an apple
like the memory you keep replaying in your head over
and over
it never stops -
akin to tiny drops that keep escaping a broken robinet
in regular intervals.
after a while, they make up an ocean.
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i just spent 45$ on paints...
Status:
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It’s so weird that even though I’m at the phase of my life when I’m considered to be ‘grown’, I still seek child-like comfort and affection. Parental emotional neglect is real and I think it only gets worse, the older you get. You can really have a parent who is present in your life but not avaliable. I really do find myself waiting for certain things to happen that I know are not going to, which makes me so sad. This shit is emotional damaging.
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Excerpts from books I’ll never write.
If, for just a moment,
You saw me
Not my body.
If you saw the cosmos
In my skin,
And the ocean
In my eyes.
If you saw
The electricity
In my veins
And the roots
In my heart.
Would you have left me then?
Would you have loved me then?
Would you have realized that I too
Am alive?
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Don’t mind me. Just being a sad little bitch today. Tags (ignore) #sad #sadbitch #sadbitchhours #sadbitches #sadbitch💔 #sadbitchhour #emo #emogirl #emotions #emobitch #emobitches #emobitchhours #emobitchqueen #emogirls #sademo #sademotions #sademobitch #sademogirl #sademogirls #sademogirl69 #depressionawareness #depressed #depression #depressedemo #depressedemogirl #depressedgirl #depressedgirlsclub #depressedgirl❤ #depressedbitch #depressedbitches https://www.instagram.com/p/B9aUHqGJrAJ/?igshid=14bbe4js9z7s4
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