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no1frogfan · 1 year

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Endings and beginnings, part 2

Tsukishima Kei x gn reader

Series synopsis: By all accounts, you’re happy. Five years out of college, your freelance art career is finally picking up and you’re able live comfortably between projects by bartending on the weekends. You’re surrounded by long-time friends and things are starting to get serious with your boyfriend. The cracks begin to form in the life you’re building when you hear from a mutual friend that Tsukishima is getting divorced. Tsukishima Kei, a person you used to consider one of your best friends, but whom you’ve spoken to only a handful of times since high school. You reach out to him for the first time in almost a decade, offering support to a friend you were once close to. As you gradually help him heal from his marriage, your old crush on him begins to resurface.

Chapter word count: ~2.2k

Chapter tags & warnings: alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, Tsukishima has a lot of negativity, discussion of divorce and emotionally abusive relationship

Note: The dialogue and organization for this chapter were so challenging to figure out. Hope it reads ok

Series masterlist < part 1 | part 3 >

2. March

Your attention is drawn to him the second you walk through the doors. He has the same standoffish demeanor that you remember from high school, the lightly furrowed brow, a frown perpetually tugging at his lips. Backlit by the lights behind the bar, Tsukishima’s hair could almost be mistaken for a messy halo.

“You ok?” Makoto looks at you with concern.

“Hmm?” You whip around to face him. “Oh, I’m fine babe. They’ve just really turned up the heat in here.”

“Yea, it’s practically a sauna. Why don’t I take your coat for you?”

You shimmy your jacket off and hand it over, thanking your boyfriend as he heads to the coat check.

The room feels both cozy and spacious, with a low ceiling and a large, open layout. The bar top curves all the way around the back of the room, and elegant, origami-inspired chandeliers hang low, giving off a dim and inviting glow.

Many friendly faces are engrossed in conversation around you, seated in small groups on plush, velvet couches or perched on padded bar stools. It’s been months since you’ve seen some of them. It’s understandable on their part, considering they have busy careers or are professional athletes. As for you, your schedule isn’t necessarily packed on a daily basis, but between juggling your projects on weekdays and bartending on weekends, it still feels like you haven’t been able to catch a breath.

You find the man of the evening, Kiyoomi, whose lovely wife organized this whole celebration - buying out the venue for the night and inviting all his friends. Despite his famously reserved personality, the soft smile on his face seems to indicate he’s having a good time tonight.

“Happy birthday Sakusa-kun!” You greet him as you and Makoto join the circle of well-wishers around them.

After thanking you, Kiyoomi continues recounting his recent trip to Paris with the rest of the Olympic team for 2 weeks of special training. Unfortunately, his wife had to stay in Tokyo to manage the new publicity campaign the Jackals are preparing to launch. When more people approach to greet Kiyoomi, you and Makoto take the opportunity to slip away and join another group of friends, chatting, joking, reminiscing, catching up. You both congratulate Daichi, who was promoted to fire lieutenant, and Shoyo, who just celebrated half a year with Asas Sao Paulo. You also toast to the Tanakas who are expecting another child in a few months. Kiyoko seems fairly relaxed about this pregnancy (their third!), but Ryuu is as nervous as a first-time father. Makoto sets about distracting Ryuu from his new baby anxieties, asking about the nitty-gritty of their preparations, about baby clothes, and doctor’s appointments, and juggling everything around two active toddlers.

You start to tune out the baby talk as you scan the room. You find him sitting in the same spot. Yamaguchi seems intent on keeping him occupied, mouth moving a mile a minute as Tsukishima perches at the bar facing slightly away from his best friend. Excusing yourself from Makoto and the Tanakas, you head over.

“Hey you two.”

Tsukishima’s eyes flit to you. He nods briefly in greeting before turning away again.

Yamaguchi, meanwhile, breaks out in a huge smile and pulls you in for a hug. “Hey! Good to see you, it’s been months!”

“Yea, it’s been ages!”

You’re all silent for a moment until you test the waters with a hesitant, “Sooo…how are you guys doing?”

Yamaguchi looks expectantly at Tsukishima. You do too, examining him closely for the first time in…3? 4? years. He’s still unmistakably him. Still gangly, impossibly long legs splayed out beneath him and lanky arms draped over the bar top. He’s grown into his body. His chest and shoulders fill out his button-down nicely, the sleeves tightening around his biceps every time he brings his glass to his lips. He’s slouching at the moment, which you don’t remember him doing much of in high school, but you’re sure he would strike an imposing figure if he pulled himself up to his full height.

When the blond doesn’t make a move to answer, Yamaguchi jumps in. “I’ve been good! Yachi too. I think I told you that we moved to the new apartment right?” You nod. “It’s amazing! The location is perfect and there’s so much natural light. We just got a cat too!”

“Wow! It sounds like you two are really getting settled in!” You try to draw Tsukishima into the conversation. “What about you Tsukishima? Have you started at the National Museum yet?”

“Yea, last month.” He gazes around the room aimlessly.

“Oh! Does that mean you’ve already moved down from Sendai?”

“Yup.”

“Some of the Karasuno guys and I helped drive his stuff down and get it all set up,” Yamaguchi chimes in.

“That’s nice of you Tadashi! And how’s the museum so far?”

The smile on your face falters as Tsukishima finally fixes you in his sights. He crosses his arms before snidely responding, “Shall we stop avoiding the elephant in the room?”

You look away, trying to hide from his piercing stare. Next to you, Yamaguchi fiddles with the cuffs of his shirt. Should you pretend not to know about his separation from Natsumi? A quick glance at him pushes that thought out of your head. No, he wants the truth. “I heard,” you sigh, unsure of what else to say.

The three of you freeze in that awkward moment for what feels like an eternity. You almost swear there’s a perverse pleasure on Tsukishima’s face as you and Tadashi steal uneasy looks at each other. He takes a languid gulp of red wine, grimacing as he swallows, letting the discomfort build and build before finally revealing, “The divorce was finalized last month.”

“O- OH.” Yamaguchi looks as surprised as you. “And, uh…how are you feeling Tsukki?”

“Happy? Sad? Angry? Who the fuck knows,” Tsukishima sneers.

“Why not all of them?” Yamaguchi jokes weakly.

Tsukishima lets out a scoff.

“Well, I for one am glad you’re in Tokyo now.” You reply cheerfully. “The three of us can have movie nights and pig out on cake together again.”

The muscles tense in Tsukishima’s neck. “Drop the charade, ok?”

“Sorry, what?”

“This. Whatever this is. Just. Stop.” His fists are clenched now, his tone venomous. “I appreciate you putting me in touch with your friend and all. Really. But you people don’t have to keep doing this whole fake thing where you act like you want to hang out or get coffee or catch up” - each phrase is punctuated by aggressive air quotes - “when we all know you’re just saying it to be polite. I know you can’t actually want to spend time with me because you barely know me anymore.”

You must look dumbfounded because Tsukishima’s expression softens slightly, but he doesn’t move to take back what he said.

“Tsukki-”

“Shut up Yamaguchi,” He flings every word like a dagger. “What’s the point in pretending? It’s not like you’re fooling me. I know I’m hard to get along with, ok? I’ve always been hard to get along with. I’m selfish, I’m mean, I have a shitty personality, and guess what? It’s even shittier now. I know I’m pathetic. I know I’m especially fucking miserable to be around right now. I know, ok? I KNOW.”

The air feels thick. Yamaguchi sits frozen like a deer caught in the headlights, wide eyes flickering between you. Tsukishima’s eyes sear into you. He downs the last of his wine, his knuckles white from gripping the stem of his wine glass so tightly, you’re sure it’ll snap in half any second.

He’s right, kind of. He’s changed a lot in the past 10 years, and your relationship has changed too. You can’t just pick up where you left off. The trust is gone and it doesn’t do either of you any good to pretend otherwise.

You take a step back and hold your hands up, palms facing him. “Tsukishima, I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch much since we graduated, but I promise I do actually want to hang out again. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not pretending, and I’m sure Yamaguchi isn’t either.” Yamaguchi nods vigorously at that. You continue. “I’m genuinely happy for us to have the chance to rebuild our friendship.” You reach out to squeeze his arm softly before dropping your hands back down at your sides.

Tsukishima scrutinizes you before eventually lowering his eyes to the empty wine glass in his hand.

“Me too, Tsukki. Let’s toast to rebuilding,” Yamaguchi suggests, flagging down the bartender.

The three of you clink glasses. Tsukishima unclenches his jaw, though he still appears guarded.

Yamaguchi clears his throat. “Did I mention I got a promotion?”

“Oh wow, congrats!”

Yamaguchi turns to you. “What about you? Any news?”

“Not really, just been busy lately. I started at a new bar and business there is pretty good. I’ve been trying to wrap up a bunch of small projects right now too - got a big one coming up soon and it sounds like the timeline for it will be pretty tight.” You start to tell them about your upcoming postcard project and the atmosphere begins to relax.

Tsukishima goes back to people watching as you and Yamaguchi chatter on either side of him. Slowly, he begins interjecting snarky comments while you two carry on about nothing of importance. It’s surprising how quickly the three of you can nestle back into this familiar dynamic.

“I missed this. The three of us.” Tsukishima jolts you out of your nostalgia. He sounds wistful as he stares at the liquor bottles lined up behind the bar. “I wanted to keep in touch more too, you know. It’s just…Natsumi… she always felt left out when it was the three of us, so I didn’t reach out as much as I wanted to. I’m sorry. And-”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to apologize.”

“-I didn’t want to be a burden either. I realized I needed to learn how to be independent and solve my own problems instead of running to you two for help all the time.”

Emika’s words come back to you. “Did…Natsumi say that?”

Tsukishima looks at you blankly. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do in a relationship? Work things out with each other?”

“Yes and no… It’s always good to talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns about your relationship, but it’s also important to have other people to talk things out with too. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a place to vent about dumb things, but sometimes you really need an outside opinion, you know?” You prod a little. “I mean…didn’t she talk to her friends about your relationship?”

“Yea, but that’s different.”

You think you can read between the lines. “How is it different?”

“Well, you know what I’m like.” He shifts in his seat. “When we fought, she’d call them to talk and they’d support her, give her advice, help cheer her up… It helped her a lot I think…” Tsukishima trails off.

You see the gears turning in his head and decide not to push any further. “Well, I know we haven’t talked in ages, but I still consider you a friend.” You gesture around the bar. “You’ve got lots of friends here, actually. They were happy to help with the move and I’m sure we’re all happy to support you in other ways too.”

“Even Kageyama,” Yamaguchi laughs. That at least earns an eye roll from Tsukishima.

You open your mouth to hammer home the point, but Makoto walks up at that moment. He waves hello to Yamaguchi and you introduce him to Tsukishima.

“Babe, it’s time to go.”

You bite back a groan. Why did you agree to meet up with his parents tomorrow morning again? You buy yourself a minute by asking Makoto to grab your coat. As he heads off, you state firmly, “It was really good to see you both. Let’s go out soon, just the three of us, ok?” You give them each a small hug and head off after your boyfriend.

As you walk into your apartment, the exhaustion of the evening finally hits you. You sluggishly go through the motions, hanging your jackets up at the door, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and changing into pajamas before climbing into bed together.

Makoto’s arms are warm and comforting as he pulls you back against his chest. “Did you have a good time tonight?”

“Yea,” you yawn. “I’m really happy I got to see everyone. Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course, I’m glad I got to see everyone too. My parents said they’re looking forward to catching up with us tomorrow.”

“Aww, that’s sweet of them.”

Makoto runs his fingers across your stomach and sighs. “The Tanakas seem really excited about their new baby.”

“Yea, I can’t believe they’re having a third. They make good parents,” you mumble, quickly drifting off.

He hesitates. “I think we’d make good parents too.”

Beside him, you’ve already fallen asleep.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima #tsukishima angst #froggy scribbles

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