#salamandastron

[incorrectredwallquotes]

Pennybright: Has anyone else heard of leaving an "example lobster" when cooking lobsters? Pennybright: Sapwood claims that plenty of people do it and he learned it from Oxeye but it’s a ridiculous and horrifying process.

Pennybright: For those who haven’t heard of it, it’s when you buy lobsters to cook by boiling them and you leave only one alive. They would always set the lobster down in front of all the cooked lobsters and make it watch while they ate all the other lobsters. After that, they put the lobster in a cooler and drive it to the beach and send it back out into the ocean. The "joke" is that the lobster is supposed to tell the other lobsters of the horrors it saw. Has anyone else heard of this or was I born into a family of sociopaths? [later] Pennybright: I have concluded from people’s reactions that this is not standard procedure by any means and we’re all a little bit insane.

#redwall #brian jacques #salamandastron #pennybright #oxeye #sapwood

[redwalltournaments]

This is now my blog for any Redwall themed tournaments I feel like doing or that anyone else may suggest. Best Villain and Most Tragic Death have been done elsewhere but anything else is fair game.

Same mod as @incorrectredwallquotes

Starting out simple with best Redwall book. In order to make the math pretty I’ve included The Great Redwall Feast and A Redwall Winters Tale, additionally the semi-finals will feature triple contestants. Polls will last a week to get some traction.

Match Ups Round 1:

Redwall vs. Eualia Winner: Redwall

Lord Brocktree vs. Marlfox Winner: Marlfox

The Long Patrol vs. Mariel of Redwall Winner: Mariel of Redwall

Rakkety Tam vs. Martin the Warrior Winner: Martin the Warrior

Triss vs. A Redwall Winters Tale Winner: Triss

Mattimeo vs. Outcast of Redwall Winner: Mattimeo

Salamandastron vs. High Rhulain Winner: Salamandastron

Pearls of Lutra vs. Doomwyte Winner: Pearls of Lutra

The Bellmaker vs. Mossflower Winner: Mossflower

The Great Redwall Feast vs. The Sable Quean Winner: The Sable Quean

Loamhedge vs. The Taggerung Winner: The Taggerung

Legend of Luke vs. The Rogue Crew Winner: Legend of Luke

Match Ups Round 2:

Redwall vs. Marlfox Winner: Redwall

Mariel of Redwall vs. Martin the Warrior Winner: Martin the Warrior

Triss vs. Mattimeo Winner: Mattimeo

Salamandastron vs. Pearls of Lutra Winner: Pearls of Lutra

Mossflower vs. The Sable Quean Winner: Mossflower

The Taggerung vs. Legend of Luke Winner: The Taggerung

Match Ups Round 3:

For this round only one contestant will be eliminated, the remaining two contestants will swap competitors and move onto the semi-finals.

Redwall vs. Martin the Warrior vs. Mattimeo Eliminated: Mattimeo

Pearls of Lutra vs. Mossflower vs. The Taggerung Eliminated: Pearls of Lutra

Match Ups Semi-Finals

Contestants have swapped competitors to avoid going against the same book as the previous round.

Martin the Warrior vs. The Taggerung

Redwall vs. Mossflower

Finals

Martin the Warrior vs. Mossflower

#Redwall #Redwall tournament #round 1 #brian jacques #Mattimeo #Mossflower #martin the warrior #mariel of redwall #the Bellmaker #the rogue crew #eualia #Salamandastron #the sable Quean #lord Brocktree #legend of Luke #outcast of Redwall #the Taggerung #pearls of Lutra #marlfox #the great Redwall feast #a Redwall winters tale #the long patrol #Triss #rakkety tam #doomwyte #loamhedge

[pitviperofdoom]

I love how the framing device of Salamandastron is the storyteller pulling a toddler into his lap and saying "let me spin you a yarn" and then the story immediately starts with the villain murdering a husband and wife and leaving their orphaned babies to die in the cold. Like okay Dumble calm down he's two.

#redwall #redwall reread #salamandastron

[whumpster-fire]

Today in my journey of rereading the Redwall series: Salamandastron.

This is definitely another one in the "In a world where racism is objectively true" category. Look I know Urthstripe the Strong's overpowering anger towards vermin to the point of endangering himself and sometimes his allies is sort of portrayed as a character flaw, but when your narrative includes "one of the main good guys is openly speciesist to literal children that his adoptive daughter made friends with" (to the point of going "I almost wish they'd try something" and fantasizing out loud about the biggest guy in the hare army beating them to a pulp when they haven't even done anything at that point) and then this is shown to be the right decision with no other example of someone making a bad call like this, there is very much a moral of "Urthstripe is right, Vermin Are Evil. Even the children."

And... look. I am trying not to make every single vermin character my Poor Little Meow Meow and Klitch as written is basically Joffrey Baratheon with fur, but I am so fucking mad that Jacques refused to do any of the interesting things that could have been done with this character and just made him Ferahgo's sociopathic mini-me. Because there was so much potential here.

Like... imagine if Klitch and Goffa were genuinely trying to get away from Ferahgo's horde but Urthstripe ruined it by making it very clear he wasn't welcome in Salamandastron. And then after Urthstripe throws him out and Mara and Pikkle run away Klitch actually sees Mara as a kindred spirit and is like "Hey, your dad's a dick who tries to control your life and stops you from hanging out with creatures he doesn't approve of, my dad's a dick who tries to control my life and stops me from hanging out with creatures he doesn't approve of, we should team up and run away from our horrible parents together!"

And it's only when they get caught that he pivots to "Hello Father, I have successfully spied on the Badger Lord's mountain and I've brought you two hostages!" because the poor kid's panicking because he knows what his father does to deserters (and he picked the moment he did to try to ditch the Corpsemakers because as far as he knew Ferahgo's best trackers were out chasing Dingeye and Thura). He's been much too well trained at lying to protect himself for Mara or Pikkle to notice.

Also: Klitch trying to act casual about Goffa's death and dismiss him as just a dumb minion while internally losing it because his best friend was just killed right in front of him but he's afraid if he shows any sign of grief Ferahgo will use it against him.

Also Also: the wasted comedy potential of Klitch as a high-ranking general in the Corpsemakers who is only in charge of anything because of nepotism and everyone knows it including him. The troops under his command have absolutely no respect for him and only obey his orders because they're scared of Ferahgo. Klitch does not even want all this responsibility (especially because he's not actually given much freedom to make decisions himself: Ferahgo tends to veto or poke holes in any plan he makes whether it's good or not because Ferahgo is caught between trying to train his son to be an effective warlord and being paranoid about his army being more loyal to Klitch than him so he actively tries to engineer situations that will lose him the respect of the troops). Klitch would actually not be a bad tactician but he is also mutually unable to agree with his father on anything as a matter of principle, and is trying to find the precise level of fucking up that will let him weaponized-incompetence his way into not being put in charge of anything anymore without causing Ferahgo to actually murder or maim him.

...combined with the drama potential of him wanting to be the leader of his own army (because he's been raised in an environment where power means safety) but also feeling trapped because most of the Corpsemakers fucking hate him and if Ferahgo dies and he's "in charge" his only chance of survival is if there are so many creatures trying to assassinate him that they all trip over each other. The horde is going to rally around some other figure who will have Klitch disposed of ASAP even if he tries to abdicate, unless he overthrows his father / wins a major victory on his own in such spectacular fashion that he inherits Ferahgo's reputation for being Not To Be Messed With.

Bonus Points if he uses terrible non-waterproof rope on Sapwood and Oxeye on purpose because that's the kind of fuckup that might be that perfect balance (and also because he fucking hated them from the moment they stood guard outside and wants an excuse to have to kill the escaping hostages) but fucks it up for realsies when they actually manage to kill several beasts and escape.

Double Bonus Points if he gets voluntold to help his dad fight a duel against an angry badger lord despite knowing just how stupid that is, and figures out that he's basically there as a distraction so Ferahgo can stab Urthstripe in the eyes while he's busy curbstomping Klitch's head into pulp.

Triple Bonus Points if instead of Badtooth getting caught by Samkim, Mara, and Co, they run into Klitch, who is trying to make a break for it while the horde is distracted and copy the hares' driftwood escape. And who, after getting absolutely decked by Sapwood and informed that he's the hostage this time, completely loses his cool and begs them not to give him back to Ferahgo because he will definitely be literally skinned alive if Ferahgo finds out about this. Which is when at least one of the adults present is finally clued in that something is wrong if the little brat is more scared of his own father than of the numerous well armed creatures with good reasons to want him dead who are right in front of him.

#redwall fandom #salamandastron #klitch (redwall)

[lostmidnightwriter]

#redwall #redwall series #brian jacques #badger - hare friendships are everything to me #and those two are both so funny and so sad #redwall sapwood #redwall urthstripe #salamandastron

[applesandpavenders]

#salamandastron #redwall abbey #redwall

[agardenandlibrary]

Brian Jacques, picking names: I shall name this golden eagle....

MacPhearsome

Brian Jacques: Oh yeah. Still got it.

#cara reads redwall #salamandastron #cara reads salamandastron #Redwall #brian jacques

[xiphosuras]

Assassin & son.

Probably two of my favourite Redwall villains.

#redwall #redwall fanart #ferahgo the assassin #weasel #redwall villain #Salamandastron #Ferahgo #Klitch #anthro #mixed media #fanart #least weasel #animals #inked

[funsizearsonist]

I hate Corporate Hellscape America so so much I am regressing to my 10 year old self who was so immersed in the red wall books I WAS a little mouse living in an abbey.

you’re all invited btw u can help me cultivate the orchard and make special shoes out of tree bark and twine and the internet won’t exist and we can climb to the top of the walls and lay in the shade of the battlements and look up at the sky

we get invaded by feral rats or wtv the fuck every like. 10 years but it’s cool bc this guy with a big fancy sword always deals with it and then the hares and badgers show up and they’re pretty cool

anyway it’s time for me to ge back to my Original hyper fixation :) self care

#Redwall #redwall abbey #martin the warrior #salamandastron

[knightofthenewrepublic]

My interpretation of Long Patrol uniforms

#redwall #redwall series #redwall abbey #salamandastron #the long patrol #hares #lord brocktree #boar the fighter #urthstripe the strong #sunflash the mace #cregga rose eyes #badgers

[stearleart]

Honorable Rosemary 16/12/23

Digital depiction of Hon Rosie from Brian Jacque's classic, Mariel of Redwall & The Bellmaker.

#redwall #mariel of redwall #the bellmaker #hon rosie #honorable rosemary #digital #krita #digital art #fanart #fan drawing #the long patrol #Salamandastron #artists on tumblr #fantasy #medieval fantasy #artwork #art #mossflower #redwall abbey #bunnies #hares #hare #lagomorph #anthro

[incorrectredwallquotes]

Thrugg: *shatters a window and climbs through* Thrugg: *turns around and helps Dumble through* Breaking and entering is wrong Dumble. Dumble: Okay.

#redwall #salamandastron #thrugg #dumble #brian jacques

[redwalltournaments]

#brian jacques #redwall #redwall tournament #best redwall book #round 2 #Salamandastron #pearls of lutra

[pitviperofdoom]

Something I either forgot or didn't fully absorb when I was reading this as a kid, is not only how absolutely down to the wire the final battle is, but how completely out of nowhere the turnabout is, especially from the perspective of the villains.

Ferahgo had spent all summer slowly starving the hares and psychologically wearing down Urthstripe, then launched an ambush that left Urthstripe close to death, and finally breached the mountain when the hares were forced to leave it open in order to get Urthstripe to safety. The Corpsemakers were inside! The Long Patrol was losing! The biggest threat to Ferahgo was the mountain's one badger, and he was unconscious and swaddled up in bandages while Oxeye and the rest were getting ready for a last stand.

And then suddenly the place is swarming with an army of shrews plus one angry mole girl with an oar, a squirrel swinging a sword made of meteoric iron, and three more badgers. And from the point of view of the vermin, there is literally no reason for any of them to be there! The entire Long Patrol had been trapped in the mountain the whole time! Why are there three extra badgers?! Where the fuck did all these shrews come from?! The narrative even acknowledges how absolutely fucking flummoxed Klitch and Ferahgo are about this, culminating in Klitch literally grabbing a random henchman and screaming "NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!"

It's not the first or last time in the series that the day is saved by eleventh hour reinforcements, but I feel like it's one of the more egregious examples of two wildly disparate storylines converging. Samkim and Arula have no reason to be there, everyone here is just like

#redwall #redwall reread #salamandastron

[captainmirefleck]

Vote for your favorite Redwall villain! Not who you think would win in a fight, but who you think is most effective as a villain or who you enjoy the most!

#redwall #polls #vilu daskar #legend of luke #ferahgo the assassin #salamandastron

[lostmidnightwriter]

#but are they pretending #honestly arula might mean everything she said #we stan a feral mole #and diggs is bae of course #redwall #redwall series #brian jacques #salamandastron #sable quean #redwall arula #redwall diggs