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dismaidenart · 2 years
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Tomorrow I will be removing the old $1 tier on Patreon and changing it to a $3 tier for exclusive art. This is your last chance to join my Patreon for just $1 a month and get all of my exclusive art! Aki will be there waiting for you!
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carewyncromwell · 9 months
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"Got no diamond, got no pearl -- Still I think I'm a lucky girl."
x~x~x~x
HPHM Cardverse developed by @ariparri // Read about how Jacob and Duncan met
x~x~x~x
Duncan Ashe was an incredibly driven, ambitious person. It was part of the reason why he'd climbed the ladder at court so fast and earned the position of Jack of Spades while still only a university student of 21. That same year, he brought Jacob Cromwell on as an advisor and technology expert, and the following year, he brought his best friend Coby McQuaid into the fold as well. This second addition in particular had prompted a lot of waves, and before long, Coby had actually been named the new King of Spades himself.
All in all, Duncan was very pleased with how his life at court was shaping up. This was why he was perturbed to find his "right-hand man," Jacob, looking so tired and gloomy that autumn. And to make him all the more perturbed, when Duncan asked him about it, Jacob forced a painful-looking smile on and lied through his teeth.
"Gloomy?" he said. "Aw, nah, I'm fine, Ashe, just...just a little tired is all. But don't worry! I just have to finish this up, and then I can get right to the next prototype..."
Duncan's eyebrows furrowed. "Jacob, your shift's ending in an hour. If you're tired, then maybe you should go home and rest -- "
"Rest? When I'm on a roll?" laughed Jacob. "Nah, I've got to start experimenting on those soil samples tomorrow...and hey, this wind turbine isn't gonna fix itself..."
"Jacob," said Duncan, but Jacob cut him off with another forced smile.
"It's okay, Ashe," he said as reassuringly as he could. "I don't mind staying late to finish...and well, the overtime pay here's great! So it all works out."
The sentiment was familiar enough to Duncan that, very reluctantly, he gave in and let Jacob be. The Jack would still watch Jacob from afar, noting the dark circles that were slowly forming under his blue eyes and the way all trace of a smile would disappear the moment he thought no one could see him, and he grew more concerned by the day.
That concern was sidetracked completely, though, by the very nasty surprise Duncan got, when he accidentally overheard some other courtiers talking.
" -- he's got a sweetheart!"
"Cromwell? No way!"
Duncan stopped mid-step down the hall. His head shot around and he stilled, trying hard to listen.
"It's true!" said the first female voice. "He's been receiving boxes of white flowers and chocolate every day for a week now!"
"From who?" asked the other.
"That's what's so mysterious! I saw one of the packages arrive in his office the other day -- it had no note, no return address...not even a name! Just 'Jacob Cromwell' and his office number, printed on the light blue paper."
Duncan's ears perked up at once. Light blue paper? Only one store he knew of wrapped their packages in that stuff...
Sure enough, the other courtier made the same connection.
"Light blue paper? Only Pique's General Store wraps their stuff up that way!"
"Right! I talked to the gent in the mail room, and he said that he's found one of those such packages on his desk for Jacob at 5:15 PM every day for the last week!"
"How quaint! Then maybe Cromwell really has got some kind of secret admirer..."
"A lady, undoubtedly -- I saw the handwriting on the package, and that kind of penmanship is most assuredly a woman's..."
As their voices came around the corner, Duncan quickly peeled himself back from the wall. Not wanting them to think he'd been eavesdropping, he quickly strolled past the two gossiping girls without even looking at them. Even so, Duncan couldn't ignore the stifled gasps they gave at the sight of him.
"You don't think the Jack heard you?" one asked the other, as Duncan walked that little bit faster down the hall, sliding his hand into his vest pocket at he went.
x~x~x~x
Now, at first, Duncan wanted to confront Jacob about the rumors. Very quickly, though, he decided against it. After all, however much Jacob saw him as a friend, Duncan was his employer, and truthfully, it wasn't Duncan's place to stick his nose into Jacob's personal life. He was perfectly within his rights to date, if he wanted, so long as it didn't interfere with his work...
But that was kind of the sticking thing.
Jacob was entitled to date. He was allowed to do anything he wanted romantically, really -- even if that idiot had somehow turned out to be some sort of Casanova with women on every block, that ultimately was his business and his alone. And yet the thought of Jacob having some squeeze on the side...it was disquieting to Duncan, way more than it should've been.
You hired Jacob to serve as one of your courtiers, Duncan had to remind himself. He's your subordinate. People already think you favor him as it is -- if they had any reason to think you were romantically involved...
Duncan wasn't a naive person. He knew full well how such a thing could be spun, in the public sphere. And with people like Patricia Rakepick looking for any kind of opening to "one up" him, Duncan couldn't risk that.
And so that next day, in the late afternoon, Duncan paid a visit to the mail room. Sure enough, when he arrived, the older gentleman working there had a light blue package set aside for Jacob, accompanied by a bouquet of white hydrangeas.
"Saw Pique's new little shopgirl drop them off, as I came in," said the mail clerk cheerfully. "Poor lass...asked her if she wanted a spot of tea before she left, but she looked to be in a dreadful hurry..."
Duncan cocked his eyebrows as he picked up the package. "Really?"
"Yeah, well, old Pique's always been stingy about how many people he hires," said the mail clerk. "And she was a tiny little thing -- no older than my granddaughter, I think, 13, maybe? I reckon Pique's probably running that girl all over town, dropping off stuff..."
Well, there goes the idea of that girl being Jacob's "secret admirer," thought Duncan. Sounds like she's barely old enough to even think about romance. Still...
"What did the girl look like?" Duncan asked.
"Ginger hair, red lips -- and small, of course. Very small. Probably only five feet or so."
Near Veruca's height, Duncan mentally filed away the information.
"Thank you."
With this, Duncan took the light blue package, placing it under his arm as he headed out.
x~x~x~x
When he brought the package around to Jacob's office, his subordinate's face lit up at the sight of it. He unwrapped the package, and sure enough, it was a box of artisan chocolate.
When Jacob noticed Duncan looking over his "gifts" so critically, though, his smile faded.
"It's not what it looks like," he said immediately, sounding incredibly defensive.
"Oh?" said Duncan, raising an eyebrow.
"I've needed to harvest the flowers' seeds for my experiments," said Jacob with a weak smile. "It's all about the pH of the soil, see -- the hydrangea is a very unique plant -- "
"And the chocolate?" asked Duncan.
Jacob brought a hand through his dark curls uncomfortably.
"...That's just...to try to cheer me up, that's all."
"Cheer you up about what?" Duncan pressed him.
Jacob avoided Duncan's eye. Duncan swept around, trying to force Jacob to look at him.
"Jacob," he said sharply, "if there's someone -- "
Someone else...
Duncan forced himself not to go there. He couldn't confront Jacob's romantic life straight-on: if he did, he was afraid he'd say too much...
"...If there's something going on, you can tell me. You know I can help -- "
"I can do it by myself!" Jacob said in an oddly harsh tone.
Duncan flinched. Something almost stricken seemed to run over Jacob's face -- it made him lose a lot of the color in his face.
"It's fine, Ashe," Jacob said very firmly, putting on that strained smile again. "I've got it under control. I do."
Duncan's eyebrows came together tightly. "Jacob -- "
Jacob seized Duncan's shoulder and squeezed.
"I've got it," he insisted as reassuringly as he could.
Despite saying this, his hand on Duncan's shoulder was shaking.
Duncan's dark eyes flitted down to Jacob's hand on his shoulder, before looking up. They ran over Jacob's strained, pale face critically, taking in how tired the wrinkles around his eyes were...and then narrowed.
Jacob was lying. He was lying right to his face. What Duncan didn't know is whether Jacob knew it as well as he did.
"Fine," said Duncan, more coldly than he meant to.
Sliding out of Jacob's grip, the Jack of Spades turned on his heel and left, his long coat sweeping behind him as he went.
x~x~x~x
The following day, in the midst of work, Duncan went on an unscheduled outing into the capitol. He'd taken off his usual purple and white sash, preferring to go a little bit more "incognito" for the moment, and even took the trolley rather than a private streetcar with a driver.
His destination -- Pique's General Store.
Duncan had only ever been to this store once or twice. It was a store that sold a little bit of everything, from food to flowers to household trinkets, but was best known for its wearable pieces. Many women bought dresses, shoes, and jewelry from Pique's -- even Duncan's father had stopped in here to buy himself a new pocketwatch once, when Duncan was young.
When Duncan entered the store, he found it incredibly busy. The line was nearly out the door, and several of the shoppers seemed rather impatient. This may have been, however, because there was only one person at the register -- a girl with a black ribbon in her ginger ponytail and an apron tied over her second-hand gray dress.
Duncan's eyes narrowed. So this was the shopgirl who'd dropped off that package from Jacob's "secret admirer."
The mail clerk was right -- she was small. Her young, make-upped face indicated she was a teenager -- fifteen or sixteen, perhaps, a few years older than Veruca? -- but her petite height definitely made her look younger. Despite this, though, she zipped around behind the counter, fetching various goods and ringing up what the customers brought to the register. At several points she had to dart up the ladder leaning against the back shelf to pick out specialty items for a customer, sweeping back down to the floor with the grace of a chubby little robin landing after a flight. And all the while, even as the whole shop rumbled with the mutters of grumpy customers, she kept on a pretty, lady-like expression: not smiling, exactly, but nonplussed and grounded. This affect didn't shift even when one customer started berating her for making her wait fifteen whole minutes for service: instead, the small girl faced her with astounding patience.
"I apologize for the wait, ma'am," she said.
"I'm sure you do," the older woman sneered sarcastically.
The shopgirl didn't rise to the taunt. Instead she rang up the woman's total.
"That'll be a hundred, altogether."
The woman reacted with anger. "A hundred? The sign on the window said 'sale!'"
"The 'sale' items are marked in that far corner, with blue marks on their tags," the shopgirl explained. "I'm afraid only two out of your ten items have those marks."
"That is not what it said on the sign!" the older woman shot back angrily.
"The 'sale' corner has the exact same sign as the window does," said the shopgirl calmly. "If you'd like, I can put what you don't want back where they belong. Or if you want them all, but can't afford them right now, I can always put some of them on layaway for you."
The older woman looked so affronted, she looked close to literally clutching the pearls around her neck.
"How dare -- this is outrageous! I demand to speak to Mr. Pique this instant!"
"I'm afraid Mr. Pique is on a coffee break," said the shopgirl, "but if you wish to speak to him, then you can come back in twenty minutes. He should be back by then."
"I'm not leaving until I see Mr. Pique!" the older woman shouted.
The shopgirl's pale face hardened.
"All right," she said lowly. "Then stand off to the side, while I help these people behind you."
She immediately turned her attention to the man waiting behind the woman in line.
"Bring your things here, sir," the girl said more gently.
The man, with a faintly stunned look at the woman in front of him, hesitantly approached the counter with the bottle of whiskey and bag of candy he'd purchased. The woman in front of him looked outraged.
"Excuse me!" she shrieked. "I am your customer -- "
"And so are they," the shopgirl cut her off.
The girl's voice was very quiet, but it sounded so authoritative that she suddenly sounded much older and stronger than she looked.
"You complained about waiting fifteen minutes for my assistance," the shopgirl said coldly. "I'm not going to have all these people wait longer, simply because you no longer want that assistance. If you want Mr. Pique to speak to you, then he can speak to you after he has had something to eat, as I'm sure you will, once you've finished your shopping for the day. And hopefully you'll treat him with more respect than you have me."
The older woman started to redden as red as a tomato, her whole face puffing up like an angry fish.
"You -- !" she spluttered furiously. "You -- low-class, uppity little tramp -- !"
"And now you're disrespecting my other customers, by making a scene," the shopgirl said in that very soft, but pointed voice. "Either wait for Mr. Pique outside, or have a lovely day elsewhere."
The older woman spluttered some more nastier swears under her breath. Then, whirling around to look at all of the other stunned customers, she pushed right through the crowd and out the door of the shop, leaving all of her things strewn about the counter.
"That's it!" she raged. "I'm done!" She paused in the doorframe just long enough to add, "You may tell Mr. Pique that he has just lost himself a loyal customer -- !"
"Thank you," the shopgirl cut her off with great finality.
This only seemed to make the woman even madder as she stormed out, slamming the door shut behind her.
"I have never been treated thusly in my entire life -- !" could just barely be heard through the closed door.
Duncan watched her go, his lips spreading into a broad smirk despite himself.
Not bad, he thought as he glanced back at the shopgirl as she addressed the man who'd been behind the difficult customer in line.
"I'm very sorry about that," she said kindly. "And about the wait..."
"Oh, no, it -- was no trouble," said the man. He cleared his throat, clearly still a bit uncomfortable about what he'd just witnessed. "Ahem...I'm just sorry a little thing like you had to deal with that all by yourself..."
"It's no trouble," said the shopgirl, her red lips forcing a smile. "I've got it."
Duncan stilled. His smirk faded from his face as he stared at the shopgirl with a clarity he hadn't had until just that moment.
That strained smile...that pale face, that modest height...those almond-shaped blue eyes...
Those eyes...were Jacob's eyes.
Duncan felt like his heart had leapt up into his throat.
Carewyn. The shopgirl who'd delivered all those anonymous packages was Carewyn Cromwell -- Jacob's little sister.
Since when did Jacob's little sister have a job? She had to be so young still -- right around Veruca's age, Duncan thought. That would be way too young to be working a job like this... Was Jacob's family really that bad off that Carewyn had had to drop out of school too, to support her family?
Duncan suddenly felt like his heart was being squeezed.
Was this why Jacob had been so depressed? Because his little sister had had to give up on her academic future, the way Jacob had his...?
"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"
Duncan was startled by the sound of an older, portly gentleman coming in through the door, putting out a cigar on the door frame as he entered.
"Ah...yes," Duncan said after he'd recovered. "You'd be Mr. Pique, I suppose? I thought you were out for a coffee break."
"Oh, I am," said Pique gruffly. "My thirty minutes isn't up quite yet...but I thought I'd just check in on my new little lady -- wasn't sure how she'd do behind the desk all by herself..."
His rough face broke into a fonder smile when he saw Carewyn quickly ringing up one customer's totals while adding another's by hand on a spare piece of paper, so as to cut the line down faster.
"But it seems I needn't have worried," he said, his smile becoming a bit more crooked. "I knew she'd be good help, the moment I met her."
"She is a bit young to be working here, isn't she?" asked Duncan.
"A bit, yes -- lass isn't going to be fifteen until September," said Pique.
"Then she's fourteen?" recurred Duncan.
She really was right around Veruca's age. The thought of Coby's sister working a full-time customer service job with people yelling at her for nothing made Duncan feel nauseous.
"Yes, I usually don't hire until at least sixteen," Pique said with a shrug. "But she fought hard to get this job, even just part-time. Said she'd need to save up some money, if she was going to be able to attend university..."
Duncan's heart leapt. "University?"
Then Carewyn hadn't dropped out?
"Yeah!" said Pique with a barking laugh. "I gather her family's financial state isn't so great. Her brother works for the Jack of Spades, so I hear, so he earns good money...but I reckon my little lady doesn't want him spending his pay on her future, when he's had to work so hard as it is. And well, I'm sure that boy would want to move into his own place and settle down with someone nice, at some point, not just stay at home with his folks forever..."
Duncan found himself tuning out as Pique rambled on a bit longer, only because his brain and heart were both turning with this new information.
The Cromwells weren't in financial trouble. Carewyn hadn't had to get a job to save her family, like Jacob did. She'd done it to pay for her education, so that Jacob wouldn't have to. She'd decided to work part-time, while still going to school...
...Kind of like Duncan had...working under the previous Jack while he was at university...
Duncan looked back up at Carewyn behind the counter. Her line of customers was almost completely gone now, leaving only a young man with a very dorky bow tie fumbling through his wallet for exact change.
"I can count it out for you, if you'd like," Carewyn offered.
"Th-thank you," the young man said with an uncomfortable smile. "I-I guess I'm just a little frazzled..."
Carewyn very quickly counted out exact change on the counter. Then, after scooping up the rest of the coins and returning it to the man's wallet, she handed a rather pretty light blue-wrapped box with a white ribbon to him.
"Here," Carewyn said with an encouraging smile. "I hope she likes it."
The young man's face burst into a blush, but he nonetheless smiled, encouraged. "Thank you!"
With a little wave, the young man left the shop. Carewyn likewise waved as he left, before sighing heavily, clearly relieved that the long line was gone.
"Well done, Carewyn!" said Pique jovially as he strode up to the counter, clapping her hard enough on the back that the much smaller girl winced. "Quite well done, indeed! I knew I was right to take you on..."
Carewyn put on her best smile. "Thank you..."
Then she immediately frowned as she gathered up the hats and dresses the difficult customer had left strewn on the counter.
"...But sir, your break isn't over until 4:30 -- "
"I'm still on break, I'm just not 'breaking,'" Pique said brusquely.
"Put on the brakes now, or you might break down later," Carewyn warned the man concernedly as she put the hats back on the proper mannequins.
But Pique waved this off. "I'll brew up some coffee and drink a cup before ringing anyone else up. Why don't you go take your lunch break a little early? You've worked hard enough."
Carewyn hesitated. "Are you sure? I can work until your break is over -- "
"Nonsense!" said Pique. "I passed around some fliers advertising the sale during my walk, so we'll undoubtedly have another rush of shoppers this evening, after people get off work. You go on ahead for now and get something to eat -- I'll have plenty of work for you to do when you get back."
Not looking entirely convinced, Carewyn nonetheless did as her employer said, putting the rest of the dresses away before heading back to the counter. She took off her apron, hanging it up on a nail on the side, and then headed to the backroom. Duncan lingered in the store, watching, as a minute later, Carewyn came bustling back out, a light-blue package under her arm.
Duncan's eyes widened in realization. Then the packages weren't being delivered on behalf of some secret admirer -- they'd all been from Carewyn herself!
"I'll be right back!" Carewyn said, as she darted across the store to the door.
"Be back in thirty minutes on the dot!" Pique called after her.
Just as the door would've closed, though, Duncan grabbed it and left the shop after Carewyn.
x~x~x~x
The Jack followed Carewyn out of the general store and then to the trolley stop. He climbed onto it right after her, and upon catching sight of her moving toward the very back left corner of the car, he moved after her, taking a seat right beside her.
Duncan sneaked a covert glance at the girl out the side of his eye.
She really didn't resemble Jacob at all...did Carewyn take more after her mother, while Jacob took after their father, or vice-versa? If it weren't for their identical eyes, Duncan would've been tempted to think they didn't share blood.
"Why did you follow me?"
Duncan blinked. Carewyn hadn't even looked up, when she asked this. Instead she looked out the window on the other side of her.
"I saw you standing at the back of the general store," she said lowly. "You didn't browse through any of the inventory or even get in line. All you did was watch me work and then talk to Mr. Pique when he came in."
Her blue eyes narrowed upon Duncan's reflection.
"...What do you want?"
Her eyes may have been colored and shaped like Jacob's...but in that moment, so sharp and piercing and full of distrust, Duncan was almost reminded more of Patricia Rakepick's.
Duncan's surprise melted away into something more serious.
"I came to talk to you, actually," he said.
Carewyn raised her eyebrows.
"Recently my subordinate has been getting a lot of...mysterious packages, delivered by a shopgirl with ginger hair," said Duncan. His eyes flitted down to the light blue package in Carewyn's lap. "No name, no note -- no return address...but all in Pique's distinct light blue paper."
Carewyn's eyes grew a little bit smaller.
"...And this 'subordinate' of yours...?"
"Jacob Cromwell is his name," said Duncan. His lips curled up in a small smirk. "Your brother, if I'm not mistaken."
Carewyn turned around to look at Duncan properly, her eyes very wide. Then something in the back of them brightened.
"...Ashe," she breathed through a smile. "You're Duncan Ashe!"
Duncan's smirk broadened. "You've heard of me?"
"Of course!" said Carewyn. "Jacob's told Mum and me all about you."
Duncan's heart fluttered. Jacob had told his family about him...?
"...Has he?" he asked softly.
"Well, he talks about you a lot," said Carewyn, and she had to stifle a giggle behind her hand. "If either Mum or I ask after you, he'll ramble on and on until he's completely run out of breath."
Duncan gave a cynical laugh. "Well, give Jacob just about any subject, and I daresay he'll do the same thing..."
Despite saying this, though, Duncan couldn't mask the light, happy flush painting his face, nor could he deny how warm he felt, thinking of Jacob rambling on about him to someone. Did he talk about his intellect, his cleverness -- his ambition -- his looks, how well he dressed? Surely not -- Jacob was an absolute idiot when it came to picking clothes for himself, Duncan had had to pick out something proper for him to wear to court...but maybe Jacob appreciated how Duncan dressed, despite this? Duncan wished his mind wasn't dancing so giddily with such fancies.
Carewyn's eyes softened.
"Really, though," she said more gently, "Jacob is so grateful for everything you've done for him. And I am too."
Duncan avoided Carewyn's eye. "Well, it's...nothing Jacob didn't earn, really. He's got a brilliant mind -- someone else would've seen it, even if I hadn't..."
Rakepick would've snatched Jacob up in a second, if she could've, Duncan thought, a surge of dislike pulsing through him at the thought of the Ace keenly parsing over one of Jacob's blueprints.
Carewyn shook her head. "But that's just it. My brother is brilliant -- he's always been brilliant -- but so many people have never seen it."
Her gaze drifted back out the window.
"...I was too little to remember all of this, but...when Jacob was young, he was bullied, for being interested in things. Even sometimes for not being interested in other things, like sports, or clubs, or parties. He was beaten down and ignored...and whenever he'd lose his temper or try to fight back, he'd get in trouble for it. Soon the only thing anyone ever saw of Jacob was his misbehavior -- our dad, included."
Duncan stared at Carewyn's reflection in the glass. Her face looked almost heartbroken, thinking this -- as if just recounting what her brother went through physically injured her.
"Jacob tried really hard to be better after I came along, and especially after Dad left us," she said softly. "He had to help Mum look after me...so he worked really hard, for a really long time. He dropped out of school, gave up a lot of dreams...all to try to make sure we had a roof over our heads. And eventually...all anyone ever saw of Jacob was that he was useful. That he could do things they could use for their business -- that he could fix things, or cook things, or file things, and do it all perfectly. They weren't looking for him to talk, or explain, or share, or teach, or think -- they just wanted him to do."
Duncan found his own eyes drifting through the window now, barely seeing either Carewyn's or his reflections now. In his mind's eye, he could see Jacob fixing the trolley door through another window, on another trolley -- see the muscles in his arm flexing -- seeing him smile so brightly --
"Your brother likes being useful," Duncan said softly.
"Of course he does," said Carewyn. "He always has. But that doesn't mean that's all he is."
She turned to smile at Duncan. "That's why I'm grateful you brought him to court. I know Jacob feels useful to you, but not just because of what he can do. You value his ideas -- his hopes and dreams. His drive to challenge the status quo...to shake things up and do real good for people. His passion and his aspirations for a better future. His brain and his heart."
Her blue eyes sparkled as her smile softened.
"Jacob's happy there, with you," she murmured. "Happier than he ever was at those other jobs. He wasn't unhappy, exactly -- those bosses did appreciate what he gave them, and those jobs did help him support us...but, well..."
Her eyes fell down to her hands in her lap.
"...They only wanted one small piece of Jacob. You...want all of him."
Duncan felt his face darkening with a redder flush. He quickly looked away, trying to hide it by covering his mouth, cheek, and chin with his whole hand.
"Well...um..."
Duncan felt very flustered, and he really didn't like it. He shot a look at Carewyn -- fortunately she too still had her eyes averted to her hands in her lap.
He swallowed, trying to recollect himself. When he finally did, his voice came out a bit strained.
"...I...I do want Jacob here," he said lowly. "He's...very special."
To me.
Refusing to let those words leak out, Duncan forced himself to get back to business.
"...He...said that you sent those packages to cheer him up."
Carewyn smiled a bit uncomfortably, her eyes drifting back out the window.
"...Yeah...Jacob's been pretty upset that I took a job too, around my schooling. He said he didn't want me to have to work -- that he'd work twice as hard, so I wouldn't have to...but I can't do that to him. Jacob and Mum have provided for me my whole life...it's my turn to help them, now."
Duncan's eyes betrayed concern. "Is it still so difficult for you? I thought with Jacob's higher salary -- "
"We're not struggling," Carewyn said earnestly. "But well, Jacob and I have still had to share a room my entire life. Jacob needs space. We both do. He needs an office -- a place where he can work on projects outside of work. I need a real closet where I can organize my clothes properly, so I don't have Jacob pairing my socks with his by accident."
She actually pursed her lips a bit, giving off something of a haughty expression. It made Duncan bite back a snort of laughter.
"Jacob's good at earning money and doing without on things, but not budgeting."
"And there is a big difference," said Duncan.
Carewyn nodded. "So Mum and I have been looking at the long-term...and what's holding us back from buying a bigger place is saving up enough for me to afford books and tuition. Jacob wants to just stay where we are and pay for me to go to university...but I don't want that for him. I don't want him to have to do without anymore, when I can help him now. And I wish he wouldn't work so much overtime to try to persuade me otherwise!"
This came out a bit frustrated, despite Carewyn's seemingly best efforts. She looked almost guilty, expressing such emotion in front of Duncan.
"...I'm sorry," she said lowly. "I...know you're Jacob's friend, so I thought I should explain."
"You don't need to apologize," Duncan said at once.
Carewyn still looked a bit uncomfortable.
"Please don't tell Jacob I told you all this," she said quietly. "I know Jacob esteems you...he wouldn't want you to see him as unable to do something."
Something stirred in Duncan's memory.
"I can do it by myself!"
"It's fine, Ashe. I've got it under control. I do."
Then that was it. Jacob hadn't just been lying to Duncan -- he'd been too proud to even accept things as they were himself...too proud to acknowledge he couldn't carry the world all by himself...
Duncan's brows and lips both knit together tightly.
"What I see him as is a complete idiot," he said dryly.
The Jack pulled down on the trolley string to make it stop outside the Palace of Spades. As he got up, Duncan extended a hand to Carewyn as if to help her up.
"Now, then -- Jacob's lab is on the far end, so we'll have to walk briskly, if we're going to deliver your care package to him. I'll need to drive you back in my personal car afterward, if you're going to have any decent time to eat before returning to work..."
Carewyn flushed. "That's all right -- I don't need anyth -- "
"Let me guess -- you've been skipping out on meals, just to bring these packages to your brother on your breaks," Duncan cut her off.
Carewyn shot him a glare through her blush. "There's always something to eat quickly at home -- I can more than manage until then..."
Duncan brought a hand up to his face and shook his head.
"Well, now I see sacrificing for your loved ones is something of a family trait, for you Cromwells. Ugh -- come on, then -- we're picking up your brother, dropping off his chocolates in the lab, and then driving somewhere for a proper meal. Shut your mouth right now and don't bother taking out any money, I won't hear any arguments from you or your brother about it."
x~x~x~x
Despite the sourness he'd spoken with, Duncan still kept his eye trained behind him to make sure Carewyn was keeping up with his longer strides, as he strolled quickly down the hall. And when Jacob looked up to find Carewyn in his lab and practically leapt out of his seat, throwing his arms around her and squeezing her tight as he beamed so happily over her shoulder at Duncan, the Jack of Spades couldn't have possibly obscured the soft, contented rosiness of his face as he watched them.
Jacob did in fact try to argue with Duncan about paying for their supper in full -- and Duncan scolded him just as much as he had Carewyn.
"Don't argue with me, I'm your boss. And no more of these little package deliveries, to cheer you up -- the next time Carewyn wants to bring you something, I intend for her to bring it to you when she's off from work and school, on formal visits..."
Jacob's eyes widened.
"Formal visits?" he repeated, disbelieving. "You mean...Wyn can come see me here, at the Palace?"
Carewyn looked just as stunned herself. "Duncan, you -- you don't have to do that -- "
"I know I don't," Duncan said, averting his eyes uncomfortably, "but I'm doing it. I give my permission -- Carewyn can come whenever she wants."
Jacob and Carewyn both stared. It made Duncan's flush creep up his neck all the more.
"Just as long as you don't get distracted, Jacob," Duncan added, his voice becoming a bit more strained in its defensiveness. "After all, you'll still be at work and earning pay -- it's just easier than making Carewyn use up her break times. And Carewyn seems responsible enough that she won't keep you from your work. Plus it'll quiet a lot of the unnecessary gossip around court about you having a sweetheart sending you packages..."
Jacob's mouth fell open. "What? Oh, come on, Ashe, I told you it wasn't like that -- !"
But Carewyn disregarded this completely. Instead she got up and, opening her arms, gave Duncan a hug.
The gesture made Duncan stiffen, taken aback, and she immediately withdrew, looking a bit guilty.
"I'm sorry," she said quickly, even though she couldn't keep the smile off her face. "It's just...thank you, Duncan. I've never been inside the Palace before, aside from the mail room, and seeing where Jacob's working..."
Her eyes sparkled like gems.
"... Your invitation...it's very generous," she whispered. "Thank you."
Duncan hadn't thought he could go any redder, but somehow he was. Coby would probably be comparing him to a tomato by now.
"Ahem," he cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked away. "...You're welcome."
He glanced at Carewyn out the side of his eye, to see her smiling sympathetically. Maybe she sensed his discomfort -- or maybe, being far more insightful about people than Jacob, she sensed what really fueled it: that stifled, hidden desire to make her brother happy.
Either way, Duncan found himself smiling a bit too, as he looked back at her.
Maybe Carewyn wasn't Jacob's sweetheart...but she did have a very sweet heart, all the same.
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my favorite part about being s TA (teacher's assistant) is that im now somewhat known in my school's deparment for something other than the girl who dresses aesthetic.
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hella1975 · 8 months
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ive officially sold my soul to the devil <- applied at starbucks
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sob-dylan · 1 year
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i’m fucking sick and tired of the internet not understanding what minimalism is. if i see one more person reblog a picture of a white or beige apartment and tag it “i hate minimalism” i’m gonna lose my mind.
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sarahsupastar · 1 year
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I so, so desperately want to move into a big beautiful Victorian house with a handful of friends. I'm honestly having a bit of a depression about the fact that it feels like a fucking pipe dream because 1) my circle of friends is very small these days, & 2) amatanormativity means everyone else is planning their future around a romantic partner, while I'm stuck trying to forge a future alone.
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timmurleyart · 2 years
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Buildings going up. 🚧🔨⚙️⛓🌃🚚🌗(mixed media collage on paper)💥☄️🚛
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baekuras · 2 years
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Apparently my one weakness are duplex apartments
My second weakness is not having enough money to rent one
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amarantoestrella · 3 months
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Saw a CRNA tiktok and remembered that I initially went into nursing to become one but I fell in love with my bedside job but I also had a lot of fun trying to intubate a mannequin during one of my sims so now I'm conflicted
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justaholeinmysoul · 6 months
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Every time I have some tooth problem and I need the dentist that will fucking charge me a shitton of money I understand how an American feels about having to go to the doctor. I already feel guilty spending money here for affordable stuff. There I'd just feel guilty and I'd be dead..
Our government is getting there
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shamelest · 2 months
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SURGEONSSALARY - GOLD
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Unveiling the Earnings in the Surgical Field
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dismaidenart · 2 years
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Aki-Chan got caught taking a bathroom selfie at work!
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starsworldd · 9 months
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astro observations pt. 10 ⭐️
only take what resonates + take with a grain of salt <3
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✦ whatever sign you have in the 6th house shows what qualities you want to improve on:
saggitarius: knowledge, wisdom, opportunities for yourself
leo: creativity, charisma, garnering attention
capricorn: how you complete goals, responsibilities, ambition
✦ unpopular probably but the stereotype that scorpio risings have (alluring, attractive, mysterious, etc..) leo risings ARE
✦ and speaking of scorpio risings i feel like this placement is a mix between cancer and leo rising
✦ everybody saying that saturn in 2nd house have struggles making salaries or whatever but truth be told this placement is a god damn HUSTLER. saturn is like the glow-up planet so it being in the 2nd house means that once these people know what their values are and how to maintain a good work ethic and emotional stability they become so powerful
✦ people who have their 11th house ruler in the 7th may often find themselves pairing up with a friend instead of being with the friend group
✦ i feel like 8th house neptune’s are the type to really like asmr
✦ 6th house suns are competitive
✦ venus-jupiter aspects (especially trine + sextile) are loved easily by people
✦ aries midheaven people give off hero archetype vibes
✦ astrology is about polarity:
11th house pluto people may often face hate/jealousy/obsession from other people. so how does this placement deal with the pressure? it turns to its opposite house (5th) of fun, creativity, and happiness to transform and and to relieve itself. but they affect each other so when 5th house themes dominate, 11th house themes come in to balance and back and forth and so on…
✦ saggiatrius rising people age well it doesn’t have to just be looks but they maintain an adventurous personality for quite awhile
✦ gemini sun people i find are kind of introverted but when they do speak they connect and execute their thoughts with others well
✦ virgo venus people really like pastel + overly colorful clothes and aesthetics
✦ people who have their 10th house ruler in the 12th have a multitude of careers that they want to pursue
✦ moon in 12th house people have felt hurt by being too nice and forgiving to people
✦ libra and capricorn in the big 6 make someone a leader and easily respected by the masses (also very classy vibes)
✦ aquarius moon people like synthy and spacey type of music (if this makes sense😭)
✦ gemini placements and their use of the MOST RANDOM emojis when they text (they’re like, “hey i just went to the store today✈️✈️✈️” like girl which store the one in australia???)
✦ virgo mars are good cooks
✦ people who have venus in retrograde are really lazy i find
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hope you enjoyed!
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plutosunshine · 1 year
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How to improve your self-esteem?
Venus in the houses
Venus is our self-esteem and values. The house Venus sits in can show us hints on how to help ourselves to build healthy strong self-esteem. Let’s go!
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Venus in the 1st house
Of course, the main key here is your appearance. I don’t mean that you must be always gorgeous and pretty. However, it is very important for you to feel that you fit at least your standards. Hair and make-up play a big role. You feel more confident when you like your look. NB!! Not others, but you! Also, your self-esteem grows when you socialize and show your identity in group settings. Don’t hide all the gorgeous talents you have! You MUST show them to the world. Be assertive when it is necessary because achieving goals and being the best is the number one key to your self-confidence. One more thing: aesthetics. Since Venus is in the first house, which makes this planet rising, that means that the qualities of Venus are important to express as well. Aesthetics, art, beautiful things, music, poetry, acting, and everything where you can show your talents. Also, although the first house is ME and my identity, Venus requires peace and balance. It is not easy, but you have to find a balance between showing yourself and being on the same wavelength as others.
Venus in the 2nd house
Here Venus is in its own house. Meaning that the themes of this house are emphasized. Your self-esteem improves when you feel safe and all is set: you have a nice place to live, you have a good salary, and your surroundings are harmonious. Defining your values helps to gain self-confidence. It is totally okay to express your material desires. They make your self-esteem improve. This is the essence of the 2nd house. Save money to have a backup but don’t be strict with yourself. If you really want something, just get it! The key to your self-esteem is your well-being. When you are fed well, dressed well, and generally feel good, you are confident. Any aesthetic activity that makes you feel calm and satisfied is good. Art and other creative areas also may help you because it develops your sense of beauty and allows you to express your talents.
Venus in the 3rd house
Your self-esteem is growing when you feel that you are an interesting companion. The worst nightmare is when people call you boring. That is why sometimes you are trying too hard to attract attention. However, it is only because of your insecurities. I think the key here is to allow yourself to be outgoing and funny personality which you are. Express your interest in communication and exploration. Your self-esteem improves when you feel knowledgeable. You need to constantly receive and share some interesting information. Also, learning something will increase your self-esteem as well. It can be anything: from cooking to science. You just need new knowledge to feel your self-worth and it is okay because it is the way your Venus feels at home. Don’t be afraid to show your knowledge, and make new friends and connections. Also, writing is very good for you. For example, you can express your feelings on paper. It might help you to build a strong relationship with yourself.
Venus in the 4th house
Your self-esteem improves when you are in touch with your emotions and your subconscious needs are met. It is very important not to suppress emotions and feelings. Also, helping and understanding make you feel needed. Sometimes it is not so good thing to seek this feeling, but for Venus in the 4th house supporting and helping someone is beneficial. Every field and place where you can express your ability to FEEL will be useful. For example, psychology, astrology, volunteering, etc. Also, as you know, the 4th house = home. Meaning that you MUST have your own safe place to restore your energy resources. Decorating and cleaning are helpful for your Venus because on a subconscious level you perceive this home as welcoming and safe.
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Venus in the 5th house
One word — self-expression. As simple as that, your self-esteem improves when you express yourself and your talents. If you don’t show your creativity, it will grow inside you and turn into poison. So it is so important to express that! Even if you think that the idea is stupid, please just try! Because it is not only about the result but also about the process. Also, showing others your warm and generous side will help your Venus a lot. Be yourself and don’t hide even weird and unusual sides of you because it is still you. Love yourself and respect your desires, enjoy life, and be optimistic about the world! Also, your self-esteem improves when you are the best at something. It shouldn’t be something great, it can be just a little thing that is only yours.
Venus in the 6th house
Your self-esteem improves when you build your plans and fulfill them. Yes, the 6th house here is all about working on yourself. You feel fulfilled when you follow your own rules and routines. It makes you feel like everything is in its place. Sometimes others find your little habits weird but it is who you are. Also, healthy nutrition and sport will make you feel more confident. Being healthy and put together improves your self-esteem. In addition, helping others helps you as well! The 6th house is all about service and when you help someone you feel fulfillment. It is just your essence so don’t hide it!
Venus in the 7th house
Venus here is in its own house but this placement is kind of tricky. Sometimes your self-esteem depends on your partner and you can’t find solid ground for your own personality. It can be so frustrating that you may feel even empty without a partner. However, this situation is not healthy because Venus and the 7th house are all about balance. Yes, Venus in the 7th house screams PARTNERSHIP, but you need to find balance. Give and take equally, respect each other and find harmony in this relationship. This is the main lesson for Venus in the 7th house. Your self-esteem improves when you and your partner find balance and peace in your relationship.
Venus in the 8th house
The 8th house is all about transformations so sometimes having Venus in the 8th house feels unbearable. Your self-esteem transforms constantly. Sometimes you almost don’t feel it but sometimes it breaks your heart. However, it is the essence of this placement. You need to transform yourself and the perception of your values. Life will give you a lot of critical situations that will test your values and self-confidence. Yes, this is not an easy placement to have, but this tough experience makes your self-esteem unbreakable and solid and you become wise and unstoppable.
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Venus in the 9th house
Your self-esteem improves when you get new experience and share it with others. It is so important for you to explore the world and build your own philosophy in life. You need to dig deep into the definition of the word «freedom». Your self-esteem improves when you feel no pressure and when you can do whatever you want with your life. Advice-giving is so good for your Venus. You have a lot to share with others so do that! Also, any kind of exploration of other cultures is good, whether it be a new language or travel. Your self-esteem improves when you can help others using your own experience. That is why you would be a great couch!
Venus in the 10th house
Your self-esteem improves when you are the best of the best in your field. You need respect and admiration from others. However, it is important to mention the difference between dependence on someone's opinion and deserved admiration for hard work. The second case is about Venus in the 10th house. Your self-esteem improves when you work hard on your goal and it doesn’t matter how big it is. You just need to build a plan and follow it until your goal is reached. Your self-esteem NEEDS to have a goal. It can be something small but also don’t shy away from big ones!
Venus in the 11th house
Your self-esteem grows when you are not afraid to express your authentic self and show your weird sides to the world. It is extremely important not to think about the opinion of others when it comes to your self-expression and creativity. Sometimes your ideas may seem strange but it is where the real innovation lies! Your self-esteem improves when you feel that your life is fully yours and you can do whatever you want. Also, like-minded people give you confidence because you know that you are not the only one. In addition, participation in some social activities helps your Venus to feel better. For example, charity or fighting for someone's rights.
Venus in the 12th house
Your self-esteem improves when you can express your deep emotions through creativity. Whether it be music or theatre, you need to find a way to free your endless feelings. It can be something small! Also, your self-esteem improves when you help those who are in need. However, be careful! Your sweet soul sometimes doesn’t understand when people take advantage of you. Everything must be in balance. Also, you need to find a field where you can use your empathic gifts to help others. For example, psychology, astrology, therapy, etc.
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pinknipszz · 2 months
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modern headcanons | his plans for valentine’s day
⋆✮↪ toji fushiguro, hiromi higuruma, takuma ino, and hajime kashimo
‘ - imagine: you’ve been dating your boyfriend for a few months now. everything is pure bliss, but a new problem arises: valentine’s day is coming up! since this will be your first one together, he wants to make things extra special. you wonder what he has up his sleeve.
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toji fushiguro
he reserves a table at a nice restaurant. toji doesn’t have a lot of money. he’s barely able to put food on his own table, so going out to eat quality dinner is really fucking rare. he knows how important valentine’s day is though, so toji puts in double the effort at work to rake in enough cash for a table at the restaurant downtown. it’s not michelin star or anything like that, but the atmosphere is nice and the food is good, so toji gives them a call the second he gets his next salary. he nearly busts his balls when they ask for a deposit though. but whatever. toji bites his tongue and makes the reservation anyway. dating is hard in this economy.
he buys you gel nail strips. toji loves making you feel pretty. he is a very confident man, so of course he wants you to feel confident too. the only problem is how goddamn expensive it can be to get your hair, nails, and makeup done. toji doesn’t have a lot of money for himself but it’s nearly valentine’s day for god’s sake, so he explores the mall for something good to give you. he finds that gel nail strips are a safe option; they’re cute, accessible, and easily applicable. they don’t ruin your fucking nail beds either, so he buys plenty in your favorite colors and designs. the uv lamp is a little pricey, but he loves you enough to buy one that matches your room aesthetic.
hiromi higuruma
he takes you to a gallery opening. hiromi is a modest man, and so is his idea of a date. with valentine’s day approaching, he decides to purchase two entrance tickets for a new art gallery in the heart of the city. he only learns about it from a coworker who suggests that they go together, but what’s better than critiquing art with your girlfriend? although there’s not much to do besides supporting local artists and eating finger foods, there’s an elegant simplicity to it that really reflects hiromi’s character. he values quality time above all else, and he doesn’t need frou-frou things to demonstrate that for him. 
he buys you matching jewelry. valentine’s day is one of the rare occasions where hiromi is willing to indulge in materialistic temptations. since this will be your first of many together, hiromi wants to seal it in stone to make it more memorable. so he decides to visit a jeweler for something pretty to give you. however, that quickly proves to be much harder than he thought. hiromi never realized how many types of jewelry there are. necklaces, earrings, bracelets, pendants, anklets. the list goes on and on. don’t even get him started on what kind of gem to get you. pearls, crystals, beads, stones. at the end of the day, hiromi settles for something simple: thin matching sterling silver necklaces.
takuma ino
he takes you out on a picnic. ino is a very humble and optimistic guy. he believes that as long as something is done right, its value is immeasurable no matter what, which is why he decides to go with something more simple and intimate. like a picnic! he knows it’s a risky choice. a lot of things could go wrong, like bad weather or a nearby hit-and-run, but he doesn’t let that deter him. ino triple checks the weather app before purchasing decorations for the picnic, like scented candles, a nice blanket, flowers, and more. he even orders a cute cake from the local bakery. something nanami himself suggested. 
he buys you matching sonny angels. ino isn’t rich rich, but he doesn’t mind taking extra shifts at work to buy you something special. he knows about the existence of sonny angels. although ino is not as enthusiastic about them as most people, he understands the appeal. they’re cute, silly, and a little scary, and he enjoys the thrill of a good blind box, so when ino discovers sonny angel hippers, these ugly little things that can attach to your phone, he’s absolutely hooked. ino ends up buying a bunch of blind boxes for you to open together on valentine’s day, wanting to make sure that you two get the cutest combination possible. 
hajime kashimo
he takes you to a carnival. kashimo is very excitable and loves a lively atmosphere. he’s not the kind of person to stress over quality food, fancy clothes, or the like. he just wants to have a good time with you. and you really can’t go wrong with carnival dates. everything about the carnival feels very casual to the point where you can be the most authentic version of yourself without having to worry about how you look or how much it costs. that’s what valentine’s day means to kashimo. there’s something nostalgic about them too, and being able to extend that feeling to you makes it all the more special for him.
he buys you vinyl records and cds. kashimo knows how much you love music. even if you don’t own a record player, he insists on visiting the local music shop for vinyls to decorate your walls with. he just can’t help himself. with valentine’s day coming up, kashimo spends every single night refreshing the merch websites of your favorite artists, pleading to whatever gods are up there that they restock. when they do, kashimo is one of the first fifty people to order a limited edition cd you can play in your car. when he gets his hands on a signed copy, he knows he hit the jackpot. it does big numbers to his wallet but he couldn’t care less.
(masterlist) | (a/n: not proofread rip)
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blue-thief · 6 months
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in-universe, kaisagi is probably the most popular ship. ppl in the blue lock universe also probably make the same "hehe it's called BL TV for a reason" jokes. imagine the discourse
"guys we shouldn't speculate over real people's sexualities..."
"have you SEEN michael kaiser??? if he was straight, he wouldn't wear red eyeliner"
"he's using queer aesthetics to increase his salary 😡"
"is michael kaiser queerbaiting? a deep dive into the german prodigy's career (5 hours long)"
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