#salty af today

[hotmonkeelove]

I'm going to turn 44 on Saturday and I'm arguing with someone online over the fact that purple isn't dark pink. It hurts my brain that I should feel this enraged, but for fuck's sake, I am! Because dark pink is red, not fucking purple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#*headdesk* #ugh! #ccdyfykkycytduts #i just can't #i'm too old for this shit #did these people not go to school? #'most people see dark pink as purple' since fucking when?! #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #blackadder #yes i'm salty af today!

[deus-ex-mona]

my willpower lasted for a grand total of 2 days… _(:3 」∠)_

#the thing that pushed me over the edge was just. that intern at work #things happened today and so i now need a place to vent about said intern just to get it off my chest because aaaaausuxuxjejxbjdjsnsnsnsns #…and so (repetitive) i now have this side blog… thing… over at ‘semii-sugarisms’ which is gonna be real salty despite its handle #and so all my traumadumps and daily rants will be redirected to that thing from now on so don’t miss them too much okay~? #(jk i know they’re oversharing af and a pain to read ☆〜（ゝ。∂）but thanks for tolerating my rants up till this point!!) #inedible blubbering

[charonte-simi]

Ngl I'm starting to wish I were ace again

#maybe it was just the depression that i had grown VERY accustomed to #but i dont feel like i was craving human connection this mucu before #like obviously i was still lonely af but at least physical intimacy wasnt even on my mind #now theres just one Extra tjing i want but cant have On Top of the usual loneliness #bleh #yes i got stood up today and im just salty leave me be #simi speaks #sad boy stuff

[sicklewxlf]

||Maybe it’s just me, but I’m too used to rping characters who don’t have special powers and are villains/antagonists/wildcards.

#outofcontracts (ooc) #||im sorry for the negativity today #||it might bleed into tomorrow but I need to get it all out or I’m just not gonna move on #||I do have one salty af ask in my box and I’ll have to get to that tomorrow #||one thing I will say #||I am greatful that I do have a muse who actually is giving me what I want

[f1version]

26 BIRTHDAY KISSES ★ CL16

pairing: charles leclerc x gf!reader ( she/her )

summary: 26th birthday, 26 pictures of you and Charles kissing. A kiss for each year.

notes: i’m back from my birthday trip!! i wrote this birthday special in like 30 minutes and it’s still charles’ birthday in a couple of places so… i’m not exactly late! enjoy <3

26 KISSES: A GALLERY

By your beautiful girlfriend, in collaboration with a lot of people but mainly Joris and ourselves.

1. DRUNK DANCING: A month after we got together, we were at Arthur’s 18th birthday. We got drunk, singing and dancing to the worst playlist in existence (Lorenzo’s) and, somehow, Arthur got to capture this moment I barely even remember.

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2018

2. AUGUST 2019: Summer break, so sweet so loving. You made me promise that if you jumped off first, I would jump too. It took me fifteen minutes to follow after you. Also your kisses were incredibly salty.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2019

3. THE MONZA INCIDENT: I had red lipstick the night you won in Monza, you told me it looked pretty, I asked you to kiss me, you did. Fast forward 8 minutes it was all smudged over your lips, you were 10 minutes late to the post-race conference, and Sylvia almost banned me that night. (I’m still kind of banned from your driver’s room)

Taken by Charles Leclerc, 2019

4. UNDER THE COVERS: 2020, what a crazy year. This one was taken the day we decided to finish moving in together. You were so excited, wanted everything to be perfect. Today I can say it is.

Taken by Me, 2020

5. WORDS: We were spending Christmas by ourselves, we face-timed our families, had dinner and watched movies. You gifted me three beautiful words I, of course, said back… and we also got a puppy!

Taken by Charles’ phone timer, 2020

6. OCEAN BREZEE: Just a small escapade to take a breath. You were so cuddly that day, Joris was so done with you (he still took the pic though)

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2021

7. CUTE OR HOT: I just wanted a cute morning selfie but, because of you, we ended up in a…promising mood. It was intense that’s all I have to say!

Taken by Me, 2021

8. KISS KISS KISS: 24th birthday, 24 kisses. This kind of became a tradition, let me know if you still want them this year!

Taken by Me, 2021

9. DRUNK AF: How did we got so drunk? Ask Pierre, he was the one hosting. Either way we got another amazing photo of us drunk-kissing!!!

Taken by Pierre Gasly, 2021

10. UNDER THE SEA: I’m just going to say that you and your ‘photo ideas 📸’ folder are attached by the hip. I personally love this one (even if it took half an hour to take)

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2021

11. NEW YORK: Thought you could scape this one? Never! Arthur and I didn’t spend a week listening to your complaining for nothing, babe. You must admit that this kiss was magical, everything was so pretty that day. And then it started snowing!

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2021

12. EXPOSED: Remember how our amazing soft launch got ruined by our trip to Ibiza? Well, here it is, the image we couldn’t stop laughing at when it came out, we really thought we were sneaky.

Taken by unknown, 2022

13. HARD LAUNCH: A week later we were kissing on live TV. It’s one of my favorite memories, I couldn’t stop smiling.

Taken by F1 TV, 2022

14. BACK KISSES: Just a picture of the morning after I learned that you can convince anyone, even the CEO of Ferrari, to allow you to leave sponsor events early. I really don’t know if you knew those kisses were there, but I woke up to this, took a picture and then left you with them until we took a shower.

Taken by Me, 2022

15. SPONSORED BY AIRMAX: That time your team forgot to book us a flight and you had to ask Lando to ask Daniel to ask Max if we could go back to Monaco with them. I’ve never seen Max talk so much, Daniel laugh so loud or Lando taking so many pictures. He even asked to take one of us, here it is:

Taken by Lando Norris, 2022

16. SIXTEEN: I bet you thought this one would have something to do with racing. Number 16. Sorry to disappoint but it’s our beautiful puppy…Sixteen! I’m not gonna lie, I still hate you for persuading me into that name. Anyways if you kiss the dog you kiss the mom!!

Taken by Me, 2022

17. 25 KISSES: Again, tell me if you want those 26 kisses this year. Look at us last year!

Taken by Me, 2022

18. NEW YEAR, SAME LOVE: Sometimes the world feels unreal when I’m with you, this was one of those days. I felt in another reality, the world slowed down, it was just you and me. I remember thinking “I fell in love with the right person” and then you kissed me.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2022

19. BLACK SUIT: Remember when your fans thanked me for your “new” outfits? They repeated it was the girlfriend effect, you couldn’t stop talking about how stylish you are with or without me!

Taken by Me, 2023

20. PHOTOSHOOT: You got Joris to take these shots just because you wanted a new wallpaper. I thought it was silly, until one day all of them were hanging around our home. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Charlie.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2023

21. FIVE STAR CHEFS: Not much to say, just sorry for being so distracting and thank you for the amazing (stolen from Ferrari) dinner babe!

Taken by Charles’ phone timer, 2023

22. RED LIGHTS: This year’s addition to our drunk-kissing collection. I remember you drowning shots with Carlos and Pierre, asking me to dance with you, absolutely failing at that, and then kissing me. After that there’s blurry ferrari red, giggles and a hot bath.

Taken by Andrea Ferrari, 2023

23. LAZY IN BED: Wonderful lazy days by the ocean, that’s how we spent the summer break. That morning in particular you didn’t want to get up, basically gluing me to bed. We got up at 1pm.

Taken by Me, 2023

24. JUST ONE QUESTION: Can I drive the purosangue now? Please please please

Taken by Me, 2023

20. LOVER: This day I woke up thinking about those dreams we talk about all the time, you even remembered me a couple of them throughout the day. Charlie, I do want to do this for the rest of our lives, never forget it <3

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2023

26. TWENTY-SIX: We are just 26 but I hope our story keeps on writing itself. I love you, these have been the happiest 6 years of my life. Happy birthday bébé ❤️

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2023

#‎ “ ࣭⸰ ★ my writings ! #cl16 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc 16 #f1 charles leclerc #charles leclerc f1 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 drabble #f1 blurb #f1 x reader #f1 drivers #f1blr #f1 2023

[greg-montgomery]

Friends to lovers with hotch. Bau!Reader has been pining forever but is deciding to move in after seeing Aaron and Beth be with each other. New guy also happens to be a single dad with a boy in jacks grade. Jack is not happy about another boy stealing his mom figure yk? Father son duo working together to get the girl.

Tbh idc what you write coz its always good. And im a sucker for jealous hotch ALWAYS

okay can i just say that when i saw this ask i got obsessed with the concept immediately!!! like that’s so cute???? also while writing this i was thinking “jack is such a little sweetie he wouldn’t have an attitude” but then i thought of this tiktok and remembered he can actually be salty af <33 LMFAOO

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Buddy, what’s wrong?”

Jack hadn’t spoken a word the entire ride from school. Aaron was used to his bubbly sweet voice filling the car, telling him all about his day; so the silence was deafening.

“Nothing,” he replied, dropping his small bag on the floor and running to his room.

The truth was, Jack had been pretty moody lately and it was all because of you. Well, it wasn’t your fault of course, but it was your absence that had Jack throwing tantrums in a way he never used to before.

As Aaron’s best friend, your presence in his house, in his home, was a constant. Movies, dinners, board game nights…Jack had grown used to you. And he absolutely adored you.

When Beth came into Aaron’s life, though, things started to change. You were pulling away from him, from them. At first, Aaron thought that maybe you were jealous; and if that was true, he would drop Beth in a heartbeat and run into your arms. After all, she was only a distraction to him in order to get over you.

All those dreams of him were shuttered one day, when he had called to ask you if you’d join him and Jack for a movie night, only to be told you had a date: a date with the dad of one of Jack’s classmates. You told him the two of you met when you went to pick up Jack from school one day, and Aaron cursed the moment he had asked for your help. If he knew the dads there would be all over you, he wouldn’t have let you set foot into that damned school in the first place.

“Jack?” Aaron said, knocking on his door.

“Go away!”

“Jack, please talk to me. I want to help.”

There was a long pause before Jack finally opened the door and let his dad in.

“What did you do to her?” he asked with tears in his eyes.

“Buddy, what are you talking about?”

“Y/N. Why isn’t she your friend anymore?” Jack looked incredibly sad and it broke Aaron’s heart.

“We’re still friends,” he answered, softly. “What makes you think we’re not?”

“She’s never here anymore.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not our friend anymore. We’ve just both been busier than usual.” He wasn’t technically lying, but he still felt bad.

“Why couldn’t you get together like they do in the movies?” Jack raised his voice. “Now she’s with Charlie’s dad. And she packs Charlie lunch and makes him sandwiches that look like dinosaurs like she used to do with me! It’s not fair, she was ours first!”

Well, that explained why he was so mad after school today.

Aaron couldn’t find any words to say, and how could he when he was just as jealous as his son? Jack was right; you were theirs first. And they’d win you back.

--

“And dad told me we’ll go get ice cream later with Y/N!” Charlie exclaimed, but Jack did not share his enthusiasm.

“Okay,” Jack answered, rolling his eyes.

“And maybe we’ll go to the movies after. She said she loves watching cartoons! She doesn’t think they’re boring like all grown ups,” the kid continued, not realizing he was making Jack upset.

“I know, we watch cartoons all the time together,” he replied.

Right next to them, their fathers had a separate conversation, but very much similar to theirs.

“The kid loves her already,” Charlie’s dad, Nick, said, watching you from afar. They were all waiting for you to finish your little chat with that teacher friend of yours, so they’d finally leave the school building.

“And how can he not, I mean she’s so great,” he added.

“She is,” Aaron agreed, though gritted teeth.

“I’ll take them for ice cream now so they can bond a little more. This girl loves ice cream.”

“Yeah, I know.” Who did that guy think he was? Thinking that any detail about you would be news to Aaron. Of course he knew you loved ice cream. He knew you better than anyone. Anyone.

“Sorry!” you said, walking fast towards their little group. “I hadn’t seen my friend in a while.”

“That’s alright.”

“It’s okay.”

Aaron and Nick talked at the same time, which ended in them sending annoyed glances to each other.

“Well, we better get going then,” you said with a smile.

As all of you walked out of the building, Aaron heard you telling something to Nick and Charlie. “Can you wait for me in the car? I’ll be back in a minute!”

To Aaron’s surprise you approached his car with one eyebrow raised. Oh no, you were mad.

“Y/N,” he said, but you cut him off.

“Why are the two of you being mean to Nick and his son?”

“We’re not mean to them,” Aaron said, but Jack’s voice was louder. “Because we hate them!” he said.

“Jack.”

“What? It’s true. You said that Mr. Nick is ugly and a jerk!”

“Jack, language!” his dad scolded him.

You turned your gaze to Aaron. “Is this true?”

He sighed, in defeat. “Jack, can you please get in the car? I want to speak with Y/N.”

“Fine,” he said, and followed his dad’s request.

“So?” you said when you were finally alone.

“So…I may have said some things about Nick.”

“Why?” your soft voice asked.

“Because, I can’t stand the thought of him with you. God, Y/N, I can’t do this anymore. I want you. I want you to be mine. I wanna be the one who takes you for ice cream and the one who brags about you to the other dads.”

“Aaron…”

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way-”

“Of course, I feel the same way, you idiot,” you said. “But then Beth showed up and I thought it was one sided!”

“Beth’s in the past.”

“She is?”

“Yes. She didn’t mean anything to me. It’s always been you,” Aaron admitted.

“Wow…” you said, placing your palm on your forehead.

“Yeah…”

“Well, I have two people waiting for me in the car right now. And I don’t want to just  blow them off.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll talk to Nick tonight. I promise,” you said, touching his hand. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Aaron smiled.

“She touched your hand,” Jack said with a smirk when his dad got back in the car.

Aaron stared at him through the rearview mirror with furrowed eyebrows, but Jack could read him very easily. So he just giggled.

--

“Ew!” Jack yelled, his face forming a disgusted expression at the sight of you and Aaron kissing.

“Hey, you got your wish!” Aaron told him. “You should be grateful.”

“You know what I think?” you asked.

“Hm?”

“That our little Jack is jealous because he’s not getting any kisses.”

“No!” he giggled, as you and Aaron chased him, ready to cover his chubby cheeks with sweet kisses.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #hotch 🪐 #ask

[egberts]

bruh 😭 last night when i was talking to cox customer service they were insistent that there was no outage in our area and that the internet being out all day must be a technical issue on our end and if they send a tech out and "find out" it's our fault (not specifying what that means even though i reassured them everything was connected and working except the network.) anyway i was salty af I was like "no we have already paid for two tech visits and still have constant internet problems, if this isn't fixed tonight I'm switching to at&t" and I ended the chat (politely) when they said they couldn't do anything and I'd need to schedule a tech I simply said "I don't want to do that" and left but today??? today on our block when allegedly nobody else in the area was having a problem? at least four cox trucks lining the road from our house and down the block. all with their cherry pickers up. but we were gonna have to pay a $75 tech fee because it could've been "our fault" 🙄 whatever I switched to at&t anyway and they gave us a first month free, a cheaper bill for the same speeds, and $350 in gift cards for switching. bye cox 👋

#PLUS NO CONTRACT!!!!! #our first two years with cox were contracted

[jeonsbabygirlsworld]

CHOCOLATE SAUCE

SUMMARY: The better way to have chocolate sauce is to have it on your bodies.

PAIRINGS: Jungkook x reader x Mingyu

WORDS:782 Ig ?

SMUT WARNINGS: Food play, Just Blowjobs, she messy af,cum eating, reader is called slut by Jungkook, mentions of fucking her ass later but not in detail, Jungkook teases Mingyu about sending a video to his girlfriend Lmk if I missed anything.

A/N: Thank you to the sweetest person requesting this <3 I hope I didn't disappoint you. Drabbles will always be open for this fic :0 Please like reblog and follow ⚠️⚠️Also, this contains cheating themes don't read if this triggers you. ⚠️⚠️

Soft and giggling voices resounded in your apartment when Jungkook entered he thought Mingyu, and you would be watching something on the TV. But boy he was so damn wrong about it. 

You were all sprawled above the large kitchen counter fully naked while Mingyu had a chocolate sauce bowl in his hand and he traced your shoulder blade and spine, your nipples were already messy with the sauce from the early teasing, giggling softly when he dropped them teasingly.  

“Hey Jungkook, look she looks so fucking edible,” Mingyu says holding one freshly cut strawberry in his fingers and dipping it in the mess on your shoulder, Jungkook gulped looking at the site.  

“Come here, kook join us, baby,” you say softly your fingers doing a ‘come here” action.  

Mingyu licks off the sauce while Jungkook watches you both and undresses himself. When Mingyu is done you get up and sit up on the edge. While Jungkook walks up towards you standing in front of your spread legs and kisses you on the lips softly.  

“Missed you, baby, was Mingyu good to you baby when I was gone?” He asks pulling on your lip when the kiss ends “he was good, gave me the best Morning sex today” you say turning to face him, extending your arms to have both of them with you.  

“Yeah, baby? Now are you gonna be good for me? He asked his hands taking yours and taking it to his crotch heavy and thick in your hand. Fuck so heavy I’m sure those are full of his hot cum.  “look I’m so hard for you”

Lifting you off the counter table you were now on the floor facing his raging boner. Giving Him the cutest puppy eyes you speak making his breath hitch “Kook, please want to suck the chocolate sauce off your cock, pretty please”you say grabbing him through his boxers and nodding to you.  

You look up to See Mingyu already handing you the bowl. “Gyu, can you stand next to him, I’ll suck you off too baby,” you say getting ready to make a mess on Jungkook’s cock.  

Hissing at the cold touch of the chocolate sauce you suck him groaning at the taste of the chocolate and his salty Precum “So fucking good Kook” you say turning to Mingyu and giving him a hand job.  

“Baby make him messy too, suck him off too yeah?” Jungkook smirks looking at him “Yeah go on y/n make it messy” he growls while moaning when you apply some on him.  

This goes on for a good minute sloppy sounds fill the apartment their cocks wet with your saliva. The chocolate sauce sometimes drips on the floor when you’re too busy with another one. Jungkook being the head pusher enjoys it when you suck his balls hallowing them and groaning when you suddenly come and take his leaking tip in your mouth.

Mingyu on the other hand ,he twitches when his cock is wet with your salvia and a bit of chocolate sauce left on the base forgetting about when Jungkook asked for your attention.  

“I’m going to cum baby, do it fast…...yeah just like that fuck that it, right, like that” Jungkook moans when he came right in your mouth some of his hot cum trailing down on your tits. “I’ll focus on Gyu now it’s fine baby?” You asked him, humming he sat down on the sofa.  

“Have fun Gyu, I’ll fuck her ass afterwards, shall I make a video on your phone Gyu? Show what you do when you should be with your girlfriend and not your slut?”  he says teasing him and winking at you. “Fuck you Kook, she better than Hearin anyways”. He says waving him off.  

You apply a bit more of the sauce on his cock palming him and leaving kisses and sucking on the red tip “fuck y/n, so messy make it more yeah” Mingyu announces his hands grabbing your hair to keep you in position. “Take what you can baby only what you can, pretty mouth is gonna make me cum” he says always being a sweetheart to you.  

“Fuck yeah Mingyu cum on your pretty girl’s face do it” you begged speaking in between all the sucking and palming. Mingyu soon reached his high cumming on your face.  

Looking at jungkook he says “fuck she looks really pretty”  

You sit there looking at them with your puppy eyes, both of their cums on you and yeah, the remnants of the chocolate sauce on your nipples.  

“Yeah, let’s ruin her now, shall we?” Jungkook says getting up and taking you to the room with Mingyu taking the chocolate sauce bowl.  

It’s gonna be a long night and you are ready for it. 

<3<3<3

TAGLIST : @kimmingyuswifee , @jungk97kwife , @meraofc , @httpjeonlicious .

LEASH PT 1

LEASH PT 2

DRABBLE 2

#bts #jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #mingyu smut #svt smut #mingyu oneshot #mingyu x reader #kim mingu

[jenthebug]

A coworker showed up to work sick the past two days. Today, I’m having body aches and sneezing and coughing more than usual. Do I have a cold? Allergies? WTF is this? Definitely Covid testing when I get home, just in case. If I’m sick despite masking, I’m gonna be salty af about her poor hygiene skills 🧂and I’ll be calling in sick tomorrow

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! A lot of AzuIde and AzuJami today huh

Anonymous asked:

How does Idia even flirt? (If he has the capacity, that is…)

He doesn’t … but sometimes he provokes and teases, this is probably the closest thing lol But then again, a lot of times it ends up in either the provoked person getting irritated or in the provoked person getting PROVOKED and Idia getting freaked out because he didn’t expect the reaction to be this intense.

Anonymous asked:

Who do you think Idia would be the happiest with? Just curious…

Ortho! Ortho understands him, Ortho knows everything about him, Ortho is familiar, Ortho is comfortable, he is pretty much Idia’s soulmate. He is also an enabler, but he still pushes Idia out of his comfort zone.

The second one would probably be Azul; realistically, they would have a lot of issues because both of them are stubborn and have a lot of baggage, but I don’t think it’s completely impossible for them to actually be happy together.

And the rest of the boys in Idia’s harem aren’t even interested in all this stuff, they just want to have fun lol

Anonymous asked:

Would Azul ever cheat on Idia? If he did, how would Idia react?

Their relationship status is kind of weird, like they’re together but not quite, because accepting the fact that they are attracted to each other and want to be together is more difficult than having a marriage of convenience. So even if Azul does cheat, it would be due to this misunderstanding and things being complicated between them in general + him being honestly very horny for Jamil lol And if that happens, Idia would be salty and upset, because even if they weren’t technically “together”, it would still feel like a betrayal.

THAT BEING SAID. Azul values his connection to Idia way too much, so I don’t think he would do anything further than flirting. No NTR for these two I guess lol

Anonymous asked:

What is it about Azul that Jamil doesn’t like? They’re both shady af…

BUT HE IS SO ANNOYING!! And the fact that he is shady is just another thing to not like about him I think lol Jamil really doesn’t trust Azul: he knows that he uses people, and while he might be a useful ally, he is way too dangerous and backstabbing to trust him in any way.

He is also clingy, pretentious, flamboyant/dramatic, overbearing, and slimy.

He is also obnoxiously stubborn and a control freak; remember that vignette in which Jamil was asked to help Azul during the flying lessons? When Azul didn’t want him to help and was super against it and insisted on doing everything himself because he didn’t want to be indebted to Jamil and thought that Jamil had an ulterior motive.

So yeah. Azul is an annoying twitchy clingy obsessive pompous freak… I guess he is just way too high-maintenance for Jamil lol Specifically because they’re so similar, Jamil knows how dangerous and cunning Azul is. You just can’t trust this guy at all, so why would he? Azul would just use him for his purposes to get what he wants and then discard Jamil when he’s not needed anymore or something like that.

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Jamil having to deal with Kalim AND Azul AND Nagito

God… this poor poor guy…

I laughed at “AND Nagito” like tf you doing there fucker.

Making Jamil’s life more miserable of course!

Anonymous asked:

Miu: Hey, I-dick-a, I know you’re a pathetic otaku virgin so I invented something for you to practice with just in case you get lucky! Or…if ya never get laid at least you’ll have my invention! Ain’t I the sweetest? You should bow down and lick my boots!

I-dick-a Idia: *Passes away*

This is horrible (and canon) on so many levels, and wait until Ortho reveals that Idia already has a machine he’s built for that exact reason…

#replies #azuide #azujami

[minglana]

i think my olives this year wont turn out too good😔idk if it was the quality of the olive tree, or the time that we picked them, or the killing method, but i took them out of their salt bath today (theyve been bathing in salt for like..... 3+ months already whoops) and i put them in normal water bc they were salty af, and some of them were not looking good at all :/

#maybe i just have to be more patient and wait until theyre fully rehydrated from their salty 4 month bath #but im not too hopeful on how theyre gonna turn out..... #z xarre

[lxstfathier]

Closer

Axe Woves x Reader

Summary: there’s nothing you crave more than having your own family with Axe, the love of your life. Luckily, he feels the same about you, so it’s time to start working on it.

Warnings: Oral (M! receiving), breeding kink, rough sex, choking, slapping, slight degradation, creampie, porn without plot.

A/N: i wanted to read some smut with Axe but literally no one is writing for him?? I mean, come on, he’s hot af??? And since i couldn’t find anything i had to do it myself lol. So, here it is, a small fic for y’all to enjoy <3. (And please, remember that English is not my first language, so there might be some errors).

“Someone’s eager today, huh?” Axe says, a huge smirk on his face as he sees you drop to your knees and start working on his belt and flight suit, freeing his cock in a matter of seconds.

He’s hard as a rock and already leaking precum, so you stroke it a few times before opening your mouth and licking his tip, enjoying the salty taste of it. That makes him groan, unable to control himself anymore, tangling one of his hands in your hair to push you down, forcing you to take him further.

You gag when his cock reaches the back of your throat, but he gently slaps your cheek a few times to stop you from doing it.

“Take it like a good girl” he speaks in a low voice, fighting the urge to fuck your mouth.

His words go straight to your cunt, making you feel even more horny and desperate, so you take one of your hands between your thighs, sliding your fingers on your wet folds and rubbing your clit, all while you start to bob your head up and down, taking his length the best you can as you look at him with big doe eyes.

“Such a needy little slut” Axe growls. “Touching yourself like a bitch in heat…What made you this desperate, hm?”

You know exactly what. You’re ovulating, and the only thing that you could think about since you woke up was him, his love, his attention, his rough hands all over your body, his thick veiny cock. And there was nothing that you craved more than his seed deep in your womb, claiming you as his forever.

That’s why you got all naked and ready as soon as you heard him come back home after a long mission. But you can’t tell him that, not when your mouth is full and you’re trying not to gag again.

Still, Axe expects an answer, so he yanks you by your hair, getting you off him and raising an eyebrow, waiting for you to speak.

“I need you to breed me” you whimper. “Please”

He smirks again and his brown eyes go black, filled with lust, as if that’s all he wanted to hear.

“Is that what you need? You should have told me sooner, cyar’ika, i’ve always wanted to ruin that perfect little body of yours”.

You both had been married for a couple of months, but you never brought up the subject of having a family of your own. You thought he didn’t want kids. You thought he was cool with just looking after Ragnar for a while. But now that you know that he actually wants to make it a clan of three, your arousal becomes unbearable, sending shivers down your spine.

Without wasting a second, Axe lifts you up and effortlessly throws you on the bed, keeping your legs open with his hands and positioning between them. Usually he eats you out first, but you awakened his primal side and the only thing he wants right then and there is to fuck you like a cheap whore until he cums inside.

So he slaps his cock against your clit a few times, your hips squirming at the sensation, and he finally slides in, stretching you open at the same time that he takes his right hand to your neck.

“Fuck” Axe breathes out. “So fucking tight. So fucking perfect for me”.

You let out a few cries. It was always a bit difficult to adjust to his big size, but once you get used to the feeling, Axe starts moving, thrusting slowly while squeezing your neck.

That’s until he can’t control himself anymore and his thrusts grow stronger, deeper and faster, using you like his own personal fleshlight, abusing your poor hole and hitting your cervix every time, letting out some pleasure filled grunts.

“M’gonna fill you up so good, cyar’ika. Pump you full of cum like the whore that you are, making sure you get knocked up”.

That’s enough to make your body tense and the knot in your stomach grow tighter. You orgasm is near, and you can almost feel it already.

“Fuck, Axe, i’m close” you whine, knowing that you can’t hold it any longer.

“Then go ahead baby, cum all over my fucking cock” he says, leaning in closer to kiss you passionately, his cold beskar chest plate scraping against your hard nipples.

It’s all too much. Your orgasm takes over your body, shaking and squirming in pure bliss under his weight, moaning into his mouth, your walls clenching hard around him. And axe can’t take it anymore, you feel way too good, so he gives a few more shallow thrusts and finds his own release, cumming deep inside you, flooding your womb with thick ropes of cum.

You both stay there afterwards, melted into each other, riding out your highs while sloppy kissing, too tired to move.

“Fuck” Axe says, braking the kiss, trying to catch his breath again. “You’re gonna look so beautiful carrying my child”.

You just smile at him, tracing his jaw with your fingertips, so in love with the brown eyed man who just made you see stars, knowing that he might not be the easiest one, but he’ll try to be the best father and husband of them all.

#axe woves x reader #axe woves smut #Star Wars smut

[tricitymonsters]

Also im in a mood for side characters smut today.

Kazu slamming and raw fuckin mc against a wall and nuzzling their neck, smelling their hair and slamming in even harder when that salty smell of their sweat starts to gather.

Raath fingering and groping mc in the middle of some crowd while holding them against his chest. enjoying all the hungry and disgusted eyes seeing what he's doing and knowing he could even fuck them in there with all the people watching but doesn't only because it would upset mc.

Marcel trying to hold back himself but after mc gives him those oh so lovely eyes he grabs their hand and drags them inside the closest public bathroom where he locks the door and fucks them against the sinks and looks in wonder and determined when mcs eyes roll back and their fingers turn white with how strong they grab the sinks edge.

I love these side characters so much.

Kazu’s def got a little bit of that possessive roughness going on and he’s very into like natural body scents and stuff too so the smell of your neck/throat while he’s giving you everything has such an effect on how hard and urgent he fucks. He’s not quite feral the way Mori is but you’ll definitely feel some teeth as he pants against you. He’s also strong as shit and so its a little bit novel to get lifted/manhandled/hauled around like you weigh less than a chicken patty.

Raath, my beloved little freak man, loves to play mind games and powerplays. He would very much love upping the ante with some risqué public play, only to hold off on finishing the whole ordeal until sometime later. He’s also bold af with little care for social ramifications from others so he’d have no personal hangup with barely covert groping or sliding his hand up your shirt in broad daylight. You can slap his hand away of course but that only pushes him to find other ways to get you hot and bothered. Rest assured, when he’s got you near the edge and about to crack and SERIOUSLY considering just letting him do his thing right here and right now because he’s driving you crazy, he’ll pull back and just. Smirk. Prepare yourself for him being absolutely insufferably smug when you pull him into a dark alley to continue.

Marcel has so very little self control, all you have to do is bat your big beautiful eyelashes at him and his head’s full of ideas and his dick’s filling out in a hurry. The other thing with marcel is that he can’t stand delaying his gratification so you can bet he Will find the closest proxy to a private place he possibly can. This you know… might be a broom closet or whatever but its the enthusiasm that counts. Also YES the classic mirror fucking scenario god this fits Marcel to a T. Please let him fuck you in front of some gross mirror so he can watch your face while he’s wrenching you back into him as hard as he can.

#thank you for asking! #god i love them #kazu #marcel #raath

[dairy-farmer]

Don't know how you feel about it? Cause this is a good wholesome Tim Puss household, but is it? Tim Puss if TIM isn't driving the boat, as it were? Still sexy Tim body. Tim could be involved. But these ARE the questions.

Because? Body swaps. Random or by Bat owned body swapping devices. Tim is currently in One of his brother's bodies.

What happens when their boyfriend comes to visit? Jon or Roy? You think Itty bitty Super, Jon isn't gonna take the chance Damian's offering? To fuck the Cool and Sexy, Red Robin's body? That perv Roy isn't gonna be ALL OVER that tight little body?

Or more "heroic" uses? Can't suffer through a Pollen fucking if you're not IN there. Dick loves his baby bro, can't stand to see him suffer. Can't absolutely take it. Pop a few sedatives, and hit them both? Timmy takes a nap and he gets to writhe and gasp, fucked by a machine, for the next hour or so, until "Tim's" fever comes down.

And if his hands grope and wander, well... he's Pollen'd up. No one acts modestly.

Same for Bruce and him. They ABSOLUTELY need the support of X or Y corp? Don't have the blackmail folder ready yet and the meetings today? Lives on the line? Well the young CEO wants to get into Tim's pants. Tim absolutely plans to do it.

Not on Bruce's watch.

He's "playboy"d his way though countless nights he damn well didn't feel like it. This is nothing. One Body-Swap blast to Tim's back and whoops! Oh no. He's locked "Bruce" in the batcave's containment block.

Be back after the meeting, sport.

Is Tim's body the one getting railed? Absolutely. Gloriously. Like a porn star. But TIM isn't getting to enjoy it and is salty af about it. Because these overprotective ASSHOLES won't let him have sex! He get the next day limp but never the Fun Orgasms!

Injustice!!!

Eventually he's gonna get even. Find somebody to fuck him in THEIR bodies, if they won't let him get fucked in HIS. But first? He plots a Bro Orgy. Young Justice to the rescue. Of his puss.

Just? The Bat's going "no, he is Baby. No sex for him" and Tim going "Actually, I am HORNY. All sex for me!" While ALSO two of them are stinking hypocrites because they are saying No Sex but totally letting their boyfriends hit that Tim Puss. Just be Shush about it.

Body swap fun!

-🐼🐼🐼

tim's not even allowed to use his own body for fucking 😭

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

[dragynkeep]

Maybe I’m feeling extra salty but today is a fantastic day to remember that Pietro made a weapon first and a daughter second and the show never goes into how fucked up it is.

God, can you imagine if Penny was black? Can you imagine how awful the storyline would be - CRWBY accidentally writing a “Strong Black Woman” who is created to protect her entire kingdom with no one asking if that’s what she wants? Who then gets fridged twice???? Like there was no way those clowns were going to write this with any nuance and care, and just thinking about how bad it is and how bad it could have been just makes my blood boil.

This is why, despite it being weird that a black man's perfect daughter is white af, I'm glad they didn't make Penny black. Because the implications of a black girl being manipulated by everyone around her, having no say and just going along with her friends' ideas, being shelved for half the volume and then having her body changed without consent, only to be murdered five minutes later, is so fucking racist I would rather just take White Penny.

But the Pietro point is also something I noticed. Both the show and the FNDM seems to forget that Pietro created Penny to be a soldier, with the ability to look entirely human, isolated her from ever making friends with Ironwood until Atlas, and even implimented a feature where he could remote control her wherever he was.

Yes, Penny gives him the okay to do so, but the fact that he put it there in the first place before Penny was concious is still weird.

Don't get me wrong, the story of Pietro creating a soldier and then slowly forming a father-daughter relationship with his creation is a good story, but everyone seems to have jumped over pointing out the implications in the first place to just make Pietro Best DadTM.

#rwby #rwde #penny polendina #pietro polendina #answered #luke.txt

[csmeanerr]

Hellooooo anons! I’m feeling salty as FUCK today, so:

-WellHidden is a dickhead for not paying his admins

-Saunt is a lazy, greedy cunt who sells sketches for thousands— probably stuck that tablet pen up their ass too before selling chibis for 100 eur

-Densy is a moron in both business and design. That’s it

-Dainites are like if I made gryphons wear jackets and sold them as my own

-Terraliens are stupid as shit and they piss themselves if someone even uses the “transparent container with something inside” thing

-Seel isn’t even active lmfao, they just drop some random object themed Cham for $1k+ and dip for another year

-Sirfluff’s designs are just thinly veiled fetishes

-Waterdogs are even more fucking stupid as a concept, though all cs are

-Any CS that has a name of an animal combined with a noun is a cashgrab

-CS mods are like if Discord and Reddit mods had a lovechild and were able to make money off of shitty scribbles that look like a 5 year old drew them

-Succubuns are stupid af, mods need to grow some thicker skin

wellhidden not paying admins proof

saunt selling very sketchy designs for large prices when they can certainly make higher quality designs + a 100euro design that is less quality than even previous ones

the grems tag in general

dainties released a new subspecies called basals and have already started selling them for high prices

terralien tag since there's no specific issue mostly the co-owner bugbox drawing nsfw stuff as a minor and the species being generally understaffed and inconsistent with traits

chimereons has been on hiatus since july 14th 2023 and the last activity of seel in the species was may 24 2022 for an auction that went to 2.6k

sirfluffbutt's multitude of body horror themes in chowlings + did a youtube video of a censored nsfw game uploaded to their audience of minors

that time waterdogs made having disabilities a mythical trait

succubun mods banning users for negative reception about the species outside the server

some people think all ppl do here is complain (which is also true lol) but cs owners have done a multitude of terrible things using their platforms

#general #proof