#sam + trauma

[fandom-hoarder]

[X]

#sam + trauma #sam winchester #other people's posts #blocked for wincestie crimes #for posterity #repost cuz I'm blocked

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

“Pilot,” Supernatural written by Eric Kripke (2005); “Alligator Blood,” Natural Born Losers by Nicole Dollanganger (2015); “Playthings,” Supernatural (2007); “Little Beast,” Crush by Richard Siken (2005); “The Rapture,” Supernatural (2009); “Family Tree (Intro),” Preacher’s Daughter by Ethel Cain (2022)

#supernatural #web weaving #sam winchester #samcore #richard siken #ethel cain #nicole dollanganger #spn #spnedit #maven edits #sammy #bloodfreak!sam #sam + trauma #samdean

[clairenatural]

okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel

#charlie also a bit bc dean doesn't have to be desirable to her as a man or as a son #altho i would argue that she doesn't see through him he just doesn't perform as much for her. cas actively sees through it #this is why sam has never caught on to dean being queer also. btw. dean isn't closeted he's just never made a big deal of telling sam #you never really know your parents just the version of them they want you to see etc etc #anyway this is also why sam is thought to be More Sensitive in comparison #by people who have also fallen for the Act. i call this the General Audience Dean Act #because it was who he was SUPPOSED to be from kripke's pen until jensen went ummmmm no. he has trauma :) and forcibly gave him layers #this is also not samcrit btw i always need to clarify that #i am bad at sam studies but i think you could also write posts (and ppl have) about how dean doesn't truly know sam either #bc he has Little Baby Brother zoned him forever even though he is almost 40 by the end of s15

[meagancandraw]

You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?

#TSAMS #Sun and Moon Show #The Sun and Moon Show #TSAMS Lunar #SAMS Lunar #Sun #SAMS Sun #FNAF Sun #FNAF #Five Nights At Freddy's #MeaganCanDraw #I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was #YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but #their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything #So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death #Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting #Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry” #to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode) #Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment #How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe #Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him #And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him #Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in #How much does HE think about that? #Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years?? #It'll likely happen again #1k

[queerfables]

My pettiest and most tenacious gripe with supernatural is that when Lucifer is not taking a vessel but projecting his own image of himself, he should be played by Jared Padalecki. I know that for whatever mysterious reason they wanted Mark Pellegrino back but I just think this was a huge missed opportunity.

Lucifer considers Sam's body his rightful vessel, as much his own body as it ever was Sam's. In the cage he should have presented himself this way when he wasn't actively possessing Sam, and Sam's hallucinations should have been of his own cruel smirk. It's consistent with Lucifer's characterisation, his objectification of and entitlement to Sam. And it's impact on Sam would be so powerful.

After Lucifer, he avoids mirrors. Looks away from the impala's night-darkened windows lest he catch his reflection. His stomach turns at old photos of himself. He doesn't have many, but he's held onto some of his family. In one with Dean, his arm is slung easily around his brother's shoulder, both of them with beers in hand and matching smiles. It's a rare memory of peace, an image he's treasured for years, and when he looks at it now he feels panic crawling up his throat. He grits his teeth to hold back the snarl of "get away from him". He never looks at his hands any more, when he changes the car's oil or cleans the guns. He touches other people as little as possible. Everything's different. His body makes him an invader in his own life. He was born unclean, a soul tainted from the start, but now he looks into his eyes and sees a monster.

#supernatural #lucifer supernatural #sam winchester #samifer #cw abuse #cw trauma

[noxcheshire]

HOT TAKE

But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.

Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.

Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.

But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.

HEAR ME OUT

JUST HEAR ME OUT

I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.

The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —

And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.

But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.

This man will being going THROUGH IT.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #batman #I’m kinda leaning into Tucker being Starfire #I just think he deserves to blast green powers #and also be the hottest girl he’s ever seen #I’m thinking maybe Jack Fenton is Dick Greyson #still debating on the others BUT DO YOU SEE MY VISION? #DO YOU SEE WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN? #GIVE THE ENTIRE DP SIDE OF THEIR UNIVERSE TRAUMA by seeing what they could be in an alternate world of themselves #Danny is going through it too #Vlad is not seeing the picture outside of the absolute joy he has at finally having a son that is just like Danny but without the clones #Vlad: finally! I have a son! And he has your blood Daniel! #Bruce: oh my god my dad is a creep #Sam judging Kon’s everything: you’re on thin fucking ice #she likes his fit but will fist fight him over what he eats and how he acts with his crush #Either Tim is Paulina or Valarie #Sam is judging Kon’s choices

[samvents]

[ID text — The desire to be sicker, to prove that you are sick, itself is indicative of sickness. A well person does not desire to be sick]

#sam posts #source: pinterest #childhood trauma #trauma #childhood ptsd #traumacore #ventcore #actuallyptsd #actuallytraumatized #trauma vent #vent post #actually ptsd #csa survivor

[blacknidstang]

Really interesting how being possessed is both likened to sexual assault and also genuinely feels like dissociation because you no longer exist in your body, you miss time, you miss memories, you're not you, you watch yourself from somewhere quite wrong. It's like the trauma and the outcome in one package happening at the same time

#spn #its like how in my humble opinion soulless is very much like a trauma response to cage torture except we see thm at the same time #sam winchester #insprjed by that gifset about sam and autonomy #hmmm

[ladylightning]

the way the absence of john winchester haunt sam and dean in ways that are more real than any ghost they have ever faced. the way john echoes so loudly in the narrative even in episodes he’s not mentioned, in seasons where he never appears. the way john possesses dean when he’s angry and sam when he’s grieving. the way john is the one true god of the narrative, the absent father who does not answer prayers or phone calls. the righteous man who does not break in hell but breaks down and hands his child a gun. john and the memory of his holy mary. john the prophet and his sacred text. john and his prodigal son that he knows has to die. 

#john winchester #john as a character and narrative tool is so fascinating to me #the way the show utilizes both his presence and absence #the intergenerational trauma and cycle of abuse stuff is what elevates the show #even when the writers are fumbling the motw stuff or the season arcs #the impact of john is still so apparent and raw and visible #a lot of that is on the actors vs the writers tho #john winchester hate club #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #SPN

[lost-in-beacon-hills]

It just hit me how sad the moment Katniss first talks to Finnick is.

He's doing his usual act trying to win over the women he meets when the topic turns to the Quell. He tells her that she could have gotten a lot from the Capitol. Money, fame and all the stuff she could ever want.

She asks about what he does with his money and he tells her he doesn't bother with money.

She kinda dismisses him and says "then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?" (CF movie). She's annoyed and wants to be left alone but still. She unknowingly jabbed the knife in and twisted. I don't know if Finnick knew she wasn't being used by the Capitol yet but imagine how that would have felt. To be asked how you get paid for? If not money then what is it they pay for your body with?

We know he had a particularly hard time with it. He was so young and doing it to save Annie. We know she didn't know and hadn't meant to but I get the impression that movie Finnick felt hurt by it. Immediately after he gets kinda withdrawn and snarky. He makes a jab back about how she's right that her secrets are shared before she even knows and tells her he's sorry she had to cancel the wedding.

It's a beautiful scene to watch Sam Claflin did a fantastic job as Finnick. And I think just realizing how Finnick would have taken that line (if he didn't know that Katniss wasn't being sold as well) adds something extra to the scene. It aged very well.

#hunger games #katniss everdeen #catching fire #sam claflin #finnick odair #annie cresta #suzanne collins #thg #the trauma is strong in these beautiful idiots

[socksandbuttons]

ANYWAY, The thought to then use the Eclipse concept art the used for Lunar (@damien-candle) And Bean-ify him as well. (did u know this version has BACK BOW? I love it so much actually)

Anyway, it'd just be fair to also turn him small like Lunar. Because technically... technically he still doesn't have his OWN body yet. And also just would be a justifying way for him. Yeah LEARN but also BE SMALL.

(It'd be funny, however seems not true now, if this was why he was scared of the future.)

The Bean Future. Eclipse is still eclipse theres no memory wipe. He might still have that smoker voice. He's just Small now.

#i genuinely really do like this as a potential future cause i can be happy with this result #how lunar gets over his trauma thats Not Determined but Lunar finaly getting to be 'hows it feel to be small now' 'UGH' #he's very grumpy and grumbly but everyone's less threatened and sun gets to put him in timeout. its therapy for everyone somehow #sun and moon show #sun and moon show spoilers #myart #sams lunar #sams eclipse #tsams #bean eclipse au

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

happy wincest wednesday ! 💕

is there anything sam and dean WOULDNT do for each other? (i mean. not sexually but u can def answer this is the sex way) is there a limit? if so, what?

Happy ww anon ☺️

I'm not sure...I think as the series goes on there's very little they wouldn't do for each other. Maybe they wouldn't be selling souls in season 1 but it's like. Desensitization to codependency or something and they've blurred so much that I don't think there really is a limit. Obviously dean's not cool with Sam's demon blood drinking and I don't think he'd permit that in canon but that's the only "limit."

Sexually, there's a ton of shit out there and I don't think they'd be into *everything* but certainly Dean wouldn't be able to stomach anything involving his Hell experience. I don't think he likes being that vulnerable around Sam, that afraid. He doesn't like to think of himself as not reliable and dependable, and being triggered by trauma would be compromising, even if he deeply trusts Sam (which he doesn't a lot of the time despite loving him). Even if Dean was turned on by the memory of being under alistair (in whatever way that might entail) he would never indulge in it. Sam on the other hand? I think he'd be okay, even WANT that from Dean regarding his own hell trauma. He's used to Dean taking care of him--and I think he'd be down to role-play in either the situation of being the tortured or the torturer. Dean would then be able to justify his sadism if he was pretending it was related to Sam's desires and lucifer, rather than his own trauma.

Sorry this got a lot darker than I meant it to! But yeah they're freaks for sure and there's very little they could deny each other<3

#wincest #wincest wednesday #a prayer for which no words exist #dean + hell #sam + hell #sam + trauma #dean + trauma #natural blood stained blonde #sweet mourning lamb #letters #anon

[totaltraumacomic]

The Chris McLean Redemption Tour

#v2 #2.11 #td sam #td dakota #td chris #td ezekiel #total trauma comic

[traumatizedsam]

Charles Bukowski, Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame

#supernatural #sam winchester #sam winchester's hell trauma #sam winchester edit #trmtzs

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

He Made Me In His Image

The Woman Destroyed - Simone de Beauvoir / Seventeen Going Under - Sam Fender / The Cruel Prince - Holly Black / Swan - Nicole Dollanganger / Elektra - Sophokles tr. Anne Carson / Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

#mine #oh shit #intergenerational trauma #something to learn: letting go doesn't have to mean forgiving #text #web weaving #the woman destroyed #simone de beauvoir #seventeen going under #sam fender #the cruel prince #holly black #swan #nicole dollanganger #elektra #sophokles #anne carson #sun bleached flies #ethel cain #music #poem #poetry #literature #♡

[vendettasfanfictioning]

"Dean didn't love Cas," "It was platonic," fuck off, when Cas died, he handled his loss the exact same way John did when he lost Mary. It's not even subtext, it's in the dialogue. Sam points it out, loud and clear. That's literally what the narrative was conveying.

"He's not just grieving about Cas, he lost Mary too." Yeah, but even when he's hellbent on blaming all of their loss on Jack, even he could see that Mary made her choice.

But to him, Cas didn't. To Dean, Cas was manipulated—deceived by some idea of "paradise," and it's easier to swallow that than to consider that Cas up and left them to protect Lucifer's child.

And you wanna know the cherry on top of all this??? Castiel's paradise consisted of them, together. Happy. Alive. Together. Castiel may have run away with Kelly to fulfill her wish for Jack, (to let him keep his powers where the Winchesters wanted to turn him human), but he only did so for that promise. In the end, he ran away so he could give them this.

(x)

#im so fucking impatient to get this arc over with already #seeing how dean treats jack makes me want to throw hands at him i hate it #(which i guess is the point) #be the change you want to see! break the cycle of generatoonal trauma by not being a shitty dad ahem dean ahem #watching spn #supernatural #spn meta #dean winchester #sam winchester #jack kline #castiel #destiel #deancas #destiel meta #13x04 #13x03 #12x19