#sam looks scared and cas looks confused and dean looks upset

[icefire149]

Certain parts of season 14 and 15 just rub me the wrong way. Everything about the shift when Mary dies again to set up conflict between Dean and Cas just doesn’t hit right. So here’s a new way I’d do it:

Jack still accidentally murders Mary, but after zipping around the Earth in a panic, he goes to Castiel. He has no fear that he’ll lose Cas over this. It’s Sam and Dean that he’s worried about. Especially Dean since he was horrible when he was born. Dean only more recently seemed like he really cared about him. He can’t mess this up. Jack brings Cas back to the house and explains what happened. 

We know Cas is a strategist and his mind would be in overdrive, because of course the Winchesters weren’t going to be okay with any of this. Hell, he’s barely keeping it together. Mary was his friend. But, Jack is his child and responsibility. And he loves him too much to let him suffer. So he devises a plan: Nick was trying to summon Lucifer from the Empty. He was succeeding. Jack and Mary were trying to stop him and Lucifer obliterated Mary. Jack wasn’t quick enough but he was able to send Lucifer back into the Empty and in a rage killed Nick. Now Jack is panicking because it’s still his fault, but not his fault. It’s Nick and Lucifer’s. And Jack while being mostly soulless is still a bit hesitant to weave such a lie to their family, but he agrees. Cas reassures him that the Winchesters will be devastated, but they’ll understand better this way. As a family, all of them will be able to grieve and move on eventually. Because: Nick shouldn’t have done what he did. It was high tension and everyone was upset, and it was inevitable an accident happened. It was just a terrible accident. 

Distraught, Jack asks if there’s anything they can do to fix things? If they can bring Mary back? If they had a body....maybe. This leads Jack to want to see Rowena to see if she could just bring Mary back. They decide to try, but stick to the story. Cas gets zapped back to his truck and Jack goes to Rowena. So we have the similar situation where Jack in a panic tries to force Rowena to fix things and she tries, but also still tips off the Winchesters. Still the magic doesn’t work and Jack is scared. Sam and Dean get to the house and are a mess trying to make heads or tails of the mess. Automatically the blame is on Jack. They’ve been worried about his soul. He must have gone completely dark side. And we’ll note that Dean is the one crawling out of his skin pacing and ranting. Sam is more withdrawn. Jack flies into Cas’ truck when he’s almost there. Cas goes into the house first. He tells Jack to wait in the truck. Cas bars the doorway with his body while he tries to explain the ‘tale’ Jack told him in the car and how devastated he is over Mary and terrified of what they, Sam & Dean, will do next. 

Dean believes Cas. It’s Cas. His anger rolls into grief & tears. His mom died. How did he get here where he has to bury her again. Cas comforts Dean with soft touch and words. He’s sorry. He’s so sorry. Cas gives into his own grief a bit. It’s Sam that continues to stand there in quiet rage. It’s like his whole lifetime of trauma is torn open again. And now there’s this new angry wound that’s only festered since Amara brought Mary back. Yes, he should be grateful that he’s gotten to know her at all, but.....it was never right. She never stayed long enough to really know him. Emotionally her bond with Dean was always stronger. He was always just a fly on the wall. She was his mom too. And now...even Cas is crying more than him. When the hell was she ever anything to him? Sam’s anger spirals, but he’s trying to keep it down. He keeps going over the house there. Something about everything isn’t sitting right with him. There’s something off. He knows it. 

So with the funeral and going home to the bunker, things feel flipped. Jack and Cas were most worried about Dean, but it’s Sam they should be worried about. Dean is angry and upset, but he’s not blaming Jack. He’s actually trying to be there for Jack. This development has Cas over the moon, because this is all he ever wanted. For them to be a family. While Dean fell into the cycle of his father’s anger when Cas died s12/13....this time he’s being what he/John should have been. And Sam is the one sinking into John’s cycle of anger. Sam’s the one drinking a bit more. He’s quiet, but there’s an anger that’s clearly there. He’s distancing himself from Jack and Cas. Eventually he blows up and admits that he blames Jack and his soullessness. For all they know he hurt her / let her get hurt purposely. Which gets Cas angry and Sam flat out admits that he doesn’t trust Cas’ word. Something feels off to him, and this isn’t the first time Cas has tried to go behind their backs. He has quite the history of it. 

This causes Sam, Dean, and Cas to go at it yelling. Jack overhears some and blames himself for ruining everything again. He’s been nothing but trouble for their family. Maybe it would be better if he just left. So he does. This ties us back to Jack being manipulated by Heaven. Dean and Cas are out trying to find him. All ties back in to Jack goes home and finds Sam alone in the bunker. And it’s easy to fall back into the trust Jack has always had with Sam. He’s always had Jack’s back. And he manipulates Jack, telling him that they’ve worked out a spell to bring Mary back. They altered the malak box spell work to harness and focus Jack’s powers. It should be enough. Dean and Cas will be back any minute with Rowena. Jack eagerly believes him and does as he’s told. Jack gets in the box and he stares up at Sam nervous. Sam tells him that there’s nothing to worry about anymore. Cas told them everything. They can fix things now. And Jack looks at him confused, everything? Sam presses that yes, Cas explained how it was an accident. Jack breathes a sigh of relief and then crumbles into tears, how he didn’t mean to. He asked her to stop, but she wouldn’t give him a moment to breathe and then..it was an accident. He didn’t mean to hurt her. And cold as ice Sam goes, I know, and closes the lid. Locking the box. 

It’s a while before Dean and Cas make it back. Jack has enough time to completely unravel in his grief, and anger, and realization that Sam lied and tricked him. Everyone keeps manipulating him and lying. Dean and Cas get back and start arguing with Sam. Just like in the show, Jack breaks out and leaves. Sam still goes into it explaining the truth he got from Jack. Cas LIED. He covered up Mary’s death. He’s known the truth all along. Dean refuses to believe Sam. He’s mistaken. 

Things roll into Moriah and Jack makes it so no one can lie. And because of that the truth finally comes out of Cas’ mouth. And Dean breaks. He tells Cas that he’s dead to him. Cas leaves to look for Jack on his own. Dean’s fury goes in on Jack. He never should have gotten attached. Jack was always a monster. All of this rolls into Chuck’s return and manipulation. He pushes Dean to kill Jack. And the puzzle pieces click into place for Sam. He realizes how much this is all a game to Chuck. Chuck pulled the strings to make every bad thing that’s happened in his life happen just for his own entertainment: Mom, their childhood, dad’s shitty parenting, Jess, demon deals, demon blood, Dean going to Hell, Ruby, the apocalypse, visions, unanswered prayers, EVERYTHING..... Chuck’s newest episode of entertainment was causing Jack to accidentally kill Mary and have to live with the consequences of losing his only family over it. Sam’s anger goes directly into Chuck. 

He needs to get to Dean. Meanwhile Dean finds Cas and Jack in the cemetery. Cas gets between them and tries to talk Dean down. Dean is shaking with fury. He’s never been this mad before. He hated Jack for being born and getting Cas killed, and then he grew to love the kid as family, and he hates him for making him feel this much. He killed his mom, and lied about it. Cas tries to explain that he was trying to protect all of them. He was trying to maintain their family. Dean coldly goes, there’s no family here to maintain. I’m a hunter. Saving people and hunting monsters is the family business, and....I see two monsters in front of me. And he holds the equalizer up, shakily. Jack sends Cas flying so he can approach Dean. He understands what Dean has to do. He accepts it and he’s sorry. Jack gets on his knees and waits. Dean can’t quite do it. He’s trying.

Sam and Chuck get there. Sam starts yelling how Chuck set this whole thing up. Chuck is trying to make Dean do this...for his own entertainment. And everything rolls back into what the actual show did. Dean can’t kill Jack and Sam shoots Chuck. Everything continues to roll similarly as s15 did, but the divorce arc is leaning heavily on Dean is angry about Cas betraying him. 

#spn #save #i hope this makes sense because i haven't reread it yet. i'm just seeing these ideas tie together in a painful vision

[boykingdom]

Dean doesn’t have to drive far before he finds Cas. He’d had a hunch Cas might be waiting for him no matter the direction he went, but still he can’t help the sigh of relief he lets out when he sees the slump of Cas’ shoulders among the trees.

He doesn’t have to walk far, either, once he’s pulled the Impala into the grass beside the road and let the metal door shut behind him with a creak. He’s in the forest after a few paces—it’s a pretty forest, all green and overgrown, the tan of Cas’ coat standing out purely for its dullness. Cas’ back is to him and he’s looking down at something, hands in his pockets, but the rigidity with which he holds himself gives away his awareness of Dean’s presence. Cas won’t turn toward him but will angle his head so Dean can see the sharp line of his cheekbone, like he’s any sort of thing that would need ears to gauge how close Dean is.

Dean has half a mind to hesitate, to stop and take a deep breath and collect his thoughts or something, but he’s so fucking tired of not being near Cas and of schooling how much he gives away to Cas in every conversation that he walks up so their shoulders are inches apart and he doesn’t think twice about it. He looks down to take in what Cas is looking at and finds a small pond with a few muddy-gray fish scooting their bellies across the silt. Dean thinks Cas might be gearing up for a speech about the fish and creation and humanity, something nice and cinematic to bookend their journey, but instead Cas says, “Hello, Dean.”

That works, too. At least Dean knows how to respond to that one. “Heya, Cas.”

They’re silent for a second.

“Sam?” says Cas. 

“Went off to the Roadhouse. Wanted to see Bobby and Ellen and Jo,” says Dean. “But you knew that already.”

“Mm. I did.”

They both watch the fish drift. One comes close enough to the surface to form gentle ripples in the water.

Then Dean is smiling, because he can see Cas out of the corner of his eye, see the way he shifts and fidgets and is so clearly also looking at Dean out of the corner of his own eye. It occurs to Dean that Cas is nervous—that after everything they’ve been through, after the end of the world, after Cas’ big sacrifice, this angel of the Lord is nervous to speak to his best friend of twelve years. Dean can’t help but take the opportunity to tease him.

“What, did you think we’d never talk about it?”

A pause. Cas half-grumbles, “I thought I’d have a few decades to prepare something to say.”

And then Dean is laughing and laughing and bent over double with it because this whole thing is so fucking absurd and he’s so happy to be standing here next to Cas, weird and awkward Cas who pulled him out of Hell and told Dean he was in love with him just months ago. Cas who he thought he had lost forever. Dean laughs so hard he cries and then he—he cries, and cries, and he’s not laughing anymore. It happens fast and hard. Cas finally turns to him, eyes wide and hands suspended in front of him like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch. Dean’s sniveling and holding his jacket sleeve under his nose so his face doesn’t get all snotty but he probably looks fucking gross anyway, the way the tears won’t stop coming. Cas says, “Dean?” all worried and concerned. Dean practically falls forward into him, wraps his arms around Cas’ waist to clutch at the back of his coat and shakes when Cas immediately holds him in return.

“I missed you so bad,” Dean sobs into Cas’ shoulder. “I missed you so bad. I thought I would never see you again. I missed you so bad.”

“Oh,” Cas breathes. “I’m here. It’s okay. I’m right here.” Cas hugs him tighter, leaving no spaces between their bodies. His voice breaks a little when he says, “I missed you, too.”

They stand like that for a moment. The forest buzzes around them, twiddling with birds and squirrels and insects. Dean breathes Cas in, feels him warm and safe and real in his arms. It’s a small piece of Earth here in Heaven. Unlike any other time before, Dean lets himself lean into it, touch Cas without Death looming over their shoulders. It feels good.

Dean does calm down after a few minutes, and as much as he would love to freeze time and stay suspended in that moment, he knows he can have even more if he gives it one last push. He pulls away, Cas’ hands sliding off his coat, lingering. “Sorry,” he says, a little embarrassed despite himself.

“Don’t be,” says Cas, in a way a that shows he really means it. Dean clears his throat and looks at him. Cas looks back. The whole thing is so achingly familiar, so akin to how they were when they first met. Even when Cas was alien and unknowable and potentially a threat, Dean always had to stifle the breathless thrill of having Cas’ attention. He doesn’t stifle it now.

He hasn’t quite internalized all the things Cas said to him, but he can see Cas was telling the truth about one thing—he is clearly so happy to be standing at the edge of this pond with Dean. Nothing in his gaze is asking for something more.

And as much as Cas would argue differently, Dean isn’t as good as him. He was never content just wanting. He had long ago accepted that he could never have Cas, sure, had recognized that he would spend the rest of his life with a horrible ache in his chest, that he would white-knuckle the wheel of the Impala to keep himself from touching. But he couldn’t find peace with it. Love rotted in him like a body at the bottom of a well. He spent a long time thinking it would kill him and kill Cas too, that it was a weapon to be used against them both, that the heat of his gaze would actually burn Cas if he looked long enough. He still has to choke down those half-formed thoughts when he looks at Cas now and can see in his eyes that he loves Dean without reservation, that despite everything he doesn’t think of Dean’s love as a death sentence. That he wants him.

Dean’s mind was made up the second Bobby had mentioned Cas’ name on the porch. It took him too long to untangle that part of himself that couldn’t separate loving men from danger, but he did untangle it, in the end.

“I know I can do it,” Dean says, both to Cas and to himself, “but I think it might be hard.”

Cas’ brow flickers in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“This,” he answers, gesturing lamely at the two of them, at the space between them. He swallows, steels himself, thinks of all the words he spent the nights since Cas died murmuring into his pillow, deliriously drunk. “I don’t know— I don’t know how to be this to someone— to you. I’ve never— and you’re—”

He’s getting frustrated, is upset that after thinking so long and hard about this moment for so many years he somehow still doesn’t know how to explain to Cas how much he means to him, how much he wants him, how hard it is to beat down his self-hatred and accept that he might just deserve Cas, too. But Christ, he wants to try.

“Dean?” Cas says. Dean can see in his expression the flowering bud of hope. He is so beautiful.

“I love you too,” Dean says, because it’s the best explanation he can give. His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his throat. Cas blinks; his mouth drops open. “God, Cas, you have to know that. Of course I love you too.”

“You mean...?” Cas can’t finish the question. He’s looking at Dean like a man finding faith, finding Heaven. Dean feels so overwhelmed and so happy for the two of them and surely he’s still red from crying before, but again he feels himself burning.

“I’ve been yours,” he chokes out. “You can have me. Please.”

Cas kisses Dean. It happens so fast that Dean feels it coming rather than sees it, feels Cas’ hands on his face, feels himself be tugged forward. Cas’ hands are shaking and Dean’s are too when he grips the front of Cas’ shirt and the back of his neck, eyes closed tight, learning the shape of his mouth. It’s hard and a little desperate and not at all artful, and Dean’s whole self feels a bit like an open wound but Cas is healing him, like he always has, like he has since the beginning.

Dean pulls away for air but doesn’t pull far, keeping his forehead pressed to Cas’ and his eyes shut. Cas’ thumb strokes his cheekbone. “Dean,” Cas says, and Dean takes a deep, shuddering breath. The way Cas says his name doesn’t scare him anymore.

Dean opens his eyes. He smiles. “Hi,” he says.

Cas smiles back.

**

They’re sitting in the Impala, Dean’s hand on Cas’ thigh, when Cas asks, “What do you want to do now?”

Dean pauses, thinks. The answer to what do you want has been Cas for so long, but he never let himself think far enough to decide what he would do if he ever got him. He’s safe, Cas is safe, Sam is safe. Realistically, he shouldn’t want for anything.

He looks out the Impala’s windshield, smooths the hand not holding Cas over the steering wheel. He knows that he loves this car with everything he is—that for a long time it was the only home he had. He also knows that he’s tired of the road. Desire has always come too easily to Dean.

“I think I’ll build us a house,” he answers, and immediately he knows it’s the right thing to do. They can pick a spot wherever Cas wants—Dean’s not picky. It’ll be something solid, something with walls that he built with trees he cut himself. Something that reflects the home he already built for Cas, the one that lives between his ribs.

Cas’ eyes light up. “I like that plan,” he says. “I want that, too.”

Years ago, Cas had sat in Dean’s passenger seat and asked him if he would rather have peace or freedom. Dean never got the chance to answer him.

Dean leans across the seat and kisses Cas again, open-mouthed, slow. He does it for him now and for the version of himself who mourned the distance between them. It’s answer enough.

#spn #supernatural #deancas #destiel #15x20 coda #i know the finale happened so long ago and also isn't real but i had to try my hand #i'll reblog this when the europeans wake up 🏃‍♀️ #my fanfiction

[binxiboo]

You Can Sleep, I’ll Keep You Safe.

Supernatural Masterlist // Full Masterlist

Castiel x Reader

Maybe one of these nights you’ll sleep. Like you'll get some actual sleep, not one of those naps that the Impala lulls you into on a long trip, but a sleep where you dream of things that don’t wake you up in the middle of the night and scare you so much that you can’t bring yourself to go back and try again.

See, because Cas was an angel, he didn’t need sleep. So, normally, he’d spend his nights somewhere around the bunker, either reading in the library or ‘researching’ American television programmes. No matter what he was doing, he was always there for when you couldn’t face the nightmares.

Recently Castiel wasn’t around at night. In the daytime, the angel still arrived to wherever you were to help with cases, but he’d disappear each evening, never telling you where he was going. You’d tried asking Sam and Dean where he’d gone but they told you they claimed to not know either. You knew they were lying but couldn’t be bothered to push it.

“Y/N, you look exhausted.”

“Gee, thanks, Dean.”

“You’re welcome.”

You dragged yourself, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, around the bunker to the kitchen to get a mug of coffee. You stumbled into every surface you could possibly lean on. Dean was too absorbed into whatever he was doing to notice the noises you were making every time you had a corner of something jab you in the hip.

You sighed, finally making it to the coffee machine, and blinked repeatedly trying to focus your constantly blurry eyes. You rubbed your face trying to wake yourself up. No matter what you did, you couldn’t focus your vision. Your eyes began to water, but you couldn’t tell if you were tired or actually upset over your mind’s confusion.

You knew lack of sleep wasn’t good for your body or your mind. It can make a person fuzzy, evidently, make them feel insane and lose any sense of being. You felt like you were slowly submerging into that state. The little naps just didn’t even it out. You needed Cas.

“Where the fuck are you?”

You looked around half expecting him to turn up, but knowing that he wouldn’t. You were right. You wandered back to where Dean was sitting. He acknowledged you with a nod and carried on reading. You blew gently on your coffee embracing the silence resonating in the bunker, well, apart from the page turns from Dean and his book.

“Hey, can you pass me that book? The one on the coffee table?”

You got up with a smile, discarding the blanket and happy to help Dean out. But that soon faded as the exhaustion caught up with your body and you collapsed almost straight to the floor. Dean had moved fast enough to keep your head from hitting the floor.

“Shit, Y/N!”

Sam emerged from his room at the loud sound of Dean’s chair falling over and hitting the floor. You looked up, eyes finally in focus.

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’?”

“Why am I on the floor?”

“You just fell. Out like a light.”

“Huh.”

You went to get back up, brushing Dean off, but your head whirled, pushing you back to the position you were in. Sam approached the two of you.

“What’s happening, Y/N?”

“Look, since Cas has been disappearing every night, I haven’t been sleeping.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was napping on the car rides and I thought they’d cover it.”

“You just collapsed!”

“I said thought. Anyway, I’ve called Cas every night and nothing. You two weren’t telling me where he was. I guessed he was doing angel stuff, so I gave up.”

“But you still could have spoke to us.”

“No offence, but it wouldn’t have made a difference. Castiel’s presence just… relaxes me. Like my entire body and my mind actually stops feeding me nightmares.”

You sat in silence for a few minutes, the boys still processing what you’d just told them. You closed your eyes to stop the world spinning.

“Y/N…”

Castiel. You wanted to look up at the angel, but your head was too heavy and too dizzy to move. Dean picked you up and sat you on the sofa. Castiel coming to sit next to you. You sat, making no attempt at speaking.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I knew you don’t sleep well. I didn’t want to leave you every night but there’s a mess in heaven that really needs sorting.”

You were still silent. You heard Sam sigh and rub his face. They did know. Of course they knew but why couldn’t they just tell you?

“I’m here now. You can sleep now.”

You meant against him in agreement, fearing what will happen if your head even moves slightly. He gently manoeuvres you and picks you up, being careful to support your head. Your eyes remain closed as you feel him place you onto your bed.

“You can sleep now, I’ll keep you safe Y/N.”

He pulls the sheets over you as Sam walks in. You assumed he was bringing in the blanket you’d left by Dean’s books. You were proven right when you felt the fluffiness over your arms.

“Thanks, Sam.”

Castiel showed his gratitude to the younger Winchester as he closed the door behind himself. He pulled you closer to him, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You snuggled into his side, resting your head on his chest, finally feeling safe and calm enough to drift into a dream filled sleep.

#castiel #casxreader #castielxreader #castiel x reader #dean winchester imagine #supernatural

[bi-bard]

Uncle Garth - Garth Fitzgerald IV Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Uncle Garth

Pairing: Garth Fitzgerald X Platonic!Reader

Requested: by @greatpsychicflowerbanana

Word Count: 1,535 words

Warning(s): mentions of demon Dean, nightmares, and violence

Summary: (Season 10) Sam is desperate to get his brother back after he turns into a demon. Sam doesn't think he can be a good example to (Y/n); who they were raising as their kid, so he calls in some extra help.

Author's Note: I think Garth would love to be an uncle, even if it's not biological.

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

-------------------------------------

I walked out into the library when I heard another voice in the bunker. I won't lie, I had my hopes up. The voice was far enough that I knew it was there but it wasn't distinctive.

After Dean left, I was spending almost every day in fear and just hoping. I was checking the news constantly, trying to find some kind of trail to follow. It wasn't going well. Sam mentioned some other options but didn't go into detail.

I knew by the time I reached the doorway to the library that it wasn't Dean.

"Garth," I said in a questioning tone as I walked in.

"Hey kiddo," he greeted, waving at me.

I walked over and hugged him for a moment before stepping back, "What're you doing here?"

He and Sam just looked at each other for a moment. I furrowed my eyebrows, now upset and confused.

"I was thinking that you could go stay with Garth and his wife for a little while," Sam explained. "Get you outta the bunker for a little while."

"But Dean's still out there," I argued. "I have a job to do."

"And you can still do it but being here isn't going to be good for you," he said.

"Sam-"

"(Y/n)," Sam cut me off. He took a deep breath. "Please."

I was going to argue more but Sam's face broke my heart. I finally sighed and nodded before he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I love you, kid, okay," he mumbled. "You're not going away forever. Just to keep you safe. Then, you'll come back and it'll all be so much better."

I nodded against his chest before stepping back, "I'm gonna go pack a bag."

Sam and Garth both nodded and I walked back out.

I packed some clothes, some books, my journals (one personal and one hunting-related), and a few framed photos because I didn't know how long I was going to be there.

One was me with Dean, Sam, and Cas. I don't know how we looped him into that. Another was the well-known pre-first-fight-with-Lucifer photo. The third was just Dean and me, taken by Sam right before Dean taught me to drive the impala. We liked to joke that it was the most scared Dean had ever looked.

I put my bag over my shoulder before walking back out to the library. Garth and Sam were mumbling back and forth but stopped abruptly when they saw me.

"Ready," Garth asked. I nodded and grabbed my bag for me. "Good, the missus is getting a special dinner ready."

I smiled and chuckled. I had only met her once but I already adored his wife.

I hugged Sam again, holding back tears. I heard him take a deep breath; he was holding his tears in too.

"See you soon, Sammy," I muttered. "Love you."

"Love you too," he kissed the top of my head.

As Garth and I walked out, I turned back to Sam again, waving at him. He waved back with a clearly forced smile.

Then, I was gone.

--time skip--

The next few weeks were nice.

Despite the pain of knowing I couldn't see the men that I knew as my fathers, Garth and his wife worked hard to help me feel at home.

The first night was the worst.

Dinner was great and I made sure both of them knew I was grateful but I was still awkward and a little cold. I also felt bad because I kept them up that night with nightmares that I just couldn't escape.

The days got better. I helped Bess with the chores. Garth and I talked about hunting and the adventures I had been on since we had seen each other.

It was nice. It felt like I was staying with extended family.

The nights didn't get better. I constantly had nightmares. They were usually about Dean. He would be a demon and would track me down, hunting me. Just before he could kill me, I would wake up. It was awful.

One night, I stayed up in the living room, not wanting to fall asleep because I didn't want to have that nightmare again.

"(Y/n)," I jumped, looking over to see Garth. He was clearly tired.

"Sorry, did I wake you," I asked, feeling guilty.

"No," he shook his head. "I was heading to the bathroom and noticed your door open and you weren't there."

I looked down at my lap, messing with my fingers.

"Why are you up," he asked.

"I...I wanted to avoid my nightmares," I muttered.

Garth walked over and sat next to me on the couch, "Tell me about them."

I told him the whole story. Exactly what I dreamed about all the time.

Garth nodded along, letting me rant and ramble for however long I needed to. Once I was done, Garth let me rest on his shoulder.

"You know one thing I noticed in that journal you showed me," he asked.

It was the hunting one. The other was a day-by-day one that no one got to read.

"What?"

"How you describe the brothers," he answered. "You're scared now but... you see them as heroes. Dean has saved you from everything and he's made you feel so happy whenever you save him. You are his kid. I can promise you that Dean- no matter if possessed or turned or what- would never hurt you. Because you're his kid; he's your dad."

"I just... I miss him," I mumbled, tears falling from my eyes. "I'm scared about what he's going to be like when I see him again."

Garth shifted, hugging me to his side, "I know, I know. But he's gonna be alright. It's Dean. He'll come back and he'll be so happy to see you."

"Thanks," I said. "I needed that."

"Nothing Uncle Garth can't solve."

I laughed, reaching up to wipe my eyes.

We sat there for a while. I fell asleep after a few hours, sleeping better on the couch than I had in the guest room.

When I woke up the next morning, I was curled into the pillow with a blanket thrown over me. Garth was pacing in the connected kitchen, mumbling through the phone.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be heading out soon," he mumbled. "See you tonight."

"Who was that," he jumped when I spoke. I held my hands up.

"Sam," he smiled. "Go get your stuff."

"Wait, that means-"

"Just go get your stuff," Garth shooed me out of the room. "We'll get breakfast on the way there!"

--time skip--

Garth put the car in park outside of the bunker but I froze.

They were all waiting for me. Sam, Cas... and Dean. I felt tears build up in my eyes.

"Hey," I looked at Garth, who was giving me a comforting smile. "It's still Dean. Sam told me he cured him and made sure."

I nodded, looking back out at the trio.

"I'll grab your bag."

I slowly got out of the car along with Garth. Dean took a few steps forward, grinning at me. I took a few slow steps, looking him over like I didn't trust him.

"Hey kid," Dean said quietly when he saw my hesitance.

I ran over, nearly tackling him in a hug, making him chuckle lightly. My tears started falling and I started shaking as soon as he hugged me back.

"Dean," I mumbled, more like a question than a statement.

"It's me, kid," he promised. I hid my face in his shoulder. "I'm back."

"I missed you," I muttered.

"I know, Sam told me about your research," he replied.

Garth handed my bag to Cas.

Dean stepped back enough to touch the side of my face. That's when I noticed that he was crying too. He grinned at me, making me grin back.

"Well, I gotta get back to Bess soon," Garth said.

"Wait," I called, running over to give him a quick hug. "Thank you. Both of you."

"Don't mention it, kiddo," Garth stepped back. "Go see your dads."

I nodded, walking back over to Dean, who pulled me back into another hug.

Once Garth had pulled out to the road, we all went inside.

"Come on," Dean started dragging me to the kitchen. "I made burgers!"

I laughed at his excitement. The drive from Garth's house was pretty long so it was around dinnertime now.

Soon, we were all sitting around the table, enjoying dinner, even Cas. We were talking, reconnecting.

"(Y/n)," Sam said during a quiet moment. "I just want to apologize for sending you away. I didn't think I was doing a good job being there for you-"

"I get it," I cut him off. "It's okay. You were saving Dean and did the best thing you could for me. You protected me from having to see Dean as something he wasn't. Thank you."

He grinned.

I stood up and walked around the table and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back.

"Thank you," I repeated.

"You're welcome," he replied. I stood back and went back to my spot.

I had my family back and I loved them. That was all that mattered to me.

-------------------------------------

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#supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader #garth fitzherald x reader #garth fitzgerald iv imagine #garth fitzgerald iv fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader #garth imagine #garth fanfiction #garth x reader

[spneveryseason]

Based on this post about the true horror potential in a s9 completely from Sam’s POV

He Has His Father’s Eyes

He notices right away.

It’s not like it’s something subtle. He’s sitting with Dean, who’s halfway through a burrito, discussing Cas’ latest forays into human behavior. Dean is smiling, laughing, when his whole face shifts right away and he looks serious, somber. The burrito is now 3/4 of the way done in that millisecond.

Huh. Sam thinks, blinking again, half-worried the burrito will be completely gone when he does. It isn’t. Guess I must’ve spaced out a little.

Dean stands up abruptly. “I’ll be right back,” He says, walking off. Sam nods, caught up in his own predicament.

It happens, he thinks, mind on the not-so-distant physical toll the trials took on his body. But keep an eye on it.

-

Next, he’s running to Dean at Charlie let her be alright please please please and rushes through the door, sees Charlie on the bed no no no and Dean looking up with a “Zeke!”—

And then he’s opening his eyes on the floor, Dean telling him that the witch knocked him out (likely) but he can’t explain the Zeke thing, tells him he hit his head (possible) and...he’s confused, he is, but head injuries can do weird things so he’s leaving it at that.

-

He’s talking to Dean in the Impala, spotting a road sign counting down the miles. He blinks, and the miles are reduced by half. He didn’t even notice them go by.

He starts to check his watch obsessively after that.

-

Sam thinks maybe he should be dead. That his neck should be sliced open, leaving him to choke out a slow and painful demise. It knocks him to the side, but he turns back and he’s alright, just some blood (that he doesn’t know the source of) and the phantom pain and the look on his attacker’s face, like he thinks he should be dead too.

This one, he’ll take. This one, he decides to ignore.

-

One time, he’s standing in the library, sorting through and organizing the books on the shelves. He’s running his fingers along the spines, mouthing through the titles and trying to give them a semblance of order. His finger ghosts over a book on poltergeists, and then hits chrome as he finds himself in the kitchen instead, running a hand through the pots and pans in the kitchen cupboard.

He blinks, steps back. Lifts his watch. 8 pm. It was 3 when he started looking at the books.

Sam’s heart pounds in his chest. He weakly makes his way over to the closest chair, collapses into it. He buries his head in his hands and tries his best not to lose any more time.

-

Dean’s weird behavior in concert with all of this makes it even more confusing. He’ll start sentences that begin one way and end another, he’ll stop talking and stare at Sam expectantly, he’ll give Sam weary glances, like he doesn’t know who he is. Sam thinks it’s a Dean problem at first but then remembers the spacing out and realizes he could be spacing out mid conversation. This really scares him.

But that doesn’t explain everything Dean is doing these days. He’ll say things that make no sense and never explains them, and he’s strangely unconcerned about the hints Sam’s giving him about something being wrong. Even if this is the Trials, wouldn’t Dean be more concerned about it? Wouldn’t he want to look into this, into whatever’s happening? Because this isn’t normal. This can be dangerous.

Or maybe, Sam thinks. Maybe he knows I’m not normal. And I never will be.

-

He tries to talk to Dean about it. He’s honest. He pours his heart out. He tells Dean that maybe this is the best he’s ever gonna get. That he’s gonna keep losing time and memory and his grip on reality until he ends up in a hospital again, not even knowing his own name.

Dean’s upset and then he isn’t, and just tells Sam he’s gonna be okay. Sam doesn’t know if he believes him. He’s scared he’s missed something again.

-

And then, it’s too late.

Sam’s sitting with Dean and Kevin in the map room, leaning back, legs outstretched onto another chair. He’s typing up some research, half-listening until he hears Kevin make a joke at Dean’s expense. He can feel a smile coming on as he looks up and opens his mouth—

And then he’s sitting on his bed, straight-backed until he throws himself back and hits headboard. His clothes are different and the smell of dirt suffuses him, his shoes caked in grass and mud. His hair is behind his ears.

Sam sits there for a second, chest heaving, before throwing his legs out to the side and standing. He checks his pockets (phone’s there) and his watch (1 pm...it had been 4 pm last he looked), then runs shaking hands over his body. Everything’s there, he lifts up his shirt (no new scars) and checks his jeans (no new scars).

He looks at his hands, and there’s something under his nails. Something dried and dark.

He opens his mouth in a scream that never comes.

Ao3 link

#does this work? #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #spn fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #speaks #spn season 9

[shyshitter]

yea so i wrote a ficlet for this post bc i couldn’t stop thinking about it. also this really went off the rails bc it has been a phat second since ive written anything so enjoy i guess

Abigail likes Jack Kline. He’s quiet and sweet and doesn’t ask questions when she sometimes doesn’t bring lunch; he just subtly slides over his apple and chips with a smile. Sure, he’s a little odd sometimes (like how he talks like a thesaurus or says hi to everyone in the hallways) but she doesn’t believe he deserves the way the other kids make fun of him behind his back. They whisper about his mysterious and sudden appearance, how he’s been picked up after school by three different men, and his odd fascination with religion. He’s not like the other christian kids who are always trying to recruit kids for their church; he just--really likes Jesus and talks about Him like he knows Him personally. 

“My dad saved humanity,” he says constantly. “He’s died a few times but it’s never stuck. The most recent time was by nail but that was a misunderstanding.” 

So he’s an odd kid and Abby knows it but she just doesn’t care. Her friends have accepted this but even they are still confused by Jack’s odd behavior. Her friend Martha has history with him and talks about him all the time. 

“For the heritage project, he said his mother is dead and his father a son of God so he doesn’t have any ancestors to write about,” she says one day at lunch. “I think he thinks his biological father is Jesus Christ.”  

It takes a while but Abby finally works up the courage to ask him about it. Jack’s in the middle of a story about how his dad was healing someone when she interrupts him. 

“Do you think your dad is Jesus?” 

Jack frowns and tilts his head in confusion. “No Jesus is my cousin. My father hates him but my da doesn’t really care about him.”

Jack has two dads? 

“You have two dads?” she asks.

He pauses to think. “Technically I have four dads but my real father was killed by three of them because he was trying to take me to space.”

Abby’s head spins. “Your dads are murderers?” 

“No, they’re hunters.” 

“But you just said they killed your real father.” 

Jack frowns again. “Yeah but my real father was the devil.” 

Abby remembers a girl she met at camp who said the same thing about her dad. She later learned that the girl was taken by CPS and her father went to prison. Suddenly, images of Jack alone and scared in a group home flood her mind and she grabs his arm in alarm.

“Are you safe?” she asks desperately. 

He just smiles and pats her arm. “Of course; he’s dead now.” 

She shakes her head. “I mean are you safe with your dads now?” 

His eyes light up like they always do when he talks about his family. “Of course! My dad was prophesied to save humanity and has, my da is an angel, and my pa is the leader of an army of hunters so I’m in good hands.” 

By the time Abby’s processed this comment, Jack has already moved on to his favorite types of cars and the conversation is over. 

She forgets about Jack’s crazy family situation until Spring Formal. Abby and her friends are standing in line for the photo booth when she sees Jack across the gym with a beautiful girl on his arm, both of them talking to a giant man with floppy brown hair. Without explaining, she leaves her friends to walk over and gets a better look at the three of them. The girl has long curly blonde hair that bounces when she laughs but her eyes are sharp and harsh, constantly scanning the room as if looking for threats. The man is wearing a white button-down with blue jeans and just smiles warmly as Jack talks animatedly to him. The man spots her as she approaches and for a moment, the warmth in his eyes is replaced by cold suspicion but as soon as Jack notices her and smiles, the man relaxes. 

“Abby, this is my pa,” Jack says with a grin. 

Jack’s ‘pa’ offers a hand and Abby shakes it. “Sam,” he says politely. “Jack talks about you a lot.”  

“Yeah,” the girl cuts in. “I was wondering when I was gonna meet you.” Her eyes trail up and down Abby’s body distrustfully. “This punk never shuts up about you.” 

Jack just keeps smiling. “This is my sister Claire,” he introduces. “She’s in college!” 

Overwhelmed by the introductions, Abby just smiles and offers her hand to Claire as well. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says, relieved when Claire accepts the handshake. 

“Have you met Dean and Cas yet?” Claire asks. “You’re not officially accepted by the family until Dean okayes you.” 

Sam swats a scolding hand over Claire’s head. “Don’t scare her--my brother isn’t that bad.” He looks back at Abby with a smile. “Don’t let my niece worry you, Dean and Cas are gonna love you.” 

Trying to do mental gymnastics in her head, Abby attempts to figure out how Sam is both Jack’s dad and Claire’s uncle while Jack and Claire are siblings. Dean and Cas are the other two fathers who killed Jack’s real dad and apparently Dean is also Sam’s brother. 

She doesn’t finish her thought process before Jack is dragging Abby across the gym, leaving Sam and Claire. 

“Dad, da,” he calls out over the music. 

Abby tries to spot who responds to Jack’s call and notices two more giant men by the food table look up from their conversation. They’re even more intimidating than Sam and Claire. The taller man has broad shoulders and hard eyes like Claire and despite this being a formal dance, he’s wearing a green canvas jacket and jeans with holes in the knees. The shorter man is a tad more formal with his too-big suit and tan overcoat but he watches them approach with a blank face which is almost more threatening than the hostile look the other man has. 

“Da, dad, this is my friend Abby,” Jack says as soon as they’re in earshot. 

The taller man looks her up and down like Claire did earlier before nodding shortly. “Nice to finally put a face to the name,” he says gruffly. His voice is rough and low but not unkind so Abby relaxes slightly. 

The other man smiles and it suits him much more than the blank look did. “It’s lovely to meet you, Abigail,” he says and holy shit his voice is even lower and gravilier than the other guy’s. “Jack speaks very highly of you.” 

“Yeah, thanks to you he listens to shitty music,” the taller man gripes but Abby can tell it’s more teasing than genuinely upset. 

“Dean,” the other man scolds as he nudges him. “Megan Thee Stallion is not shitty music.” 

If the taller man is Dean, the other is Cas and as Abby watches them, she can see the resemblance between Dean and Sam in their sharp jaws and teasing smiles.  

She turns to Jack. “You listen to Megan Thee Stallion?”

Jack nods excitedly. “You were humming her songs in English and I liked it.”

Cas leans in to Abby. “I’ve been trying to get him to branch out from 70s rock for ages but he never wanted to disappoint Dean so thank you for helping him.” 

Abby nods, dazed. “Are you Jesus?” she blurts after failing to come up with a response. 

Dean barks out a loud laugh and doesn’t stop until Cas swats him. Once Dean settles, Cas turns back to Abby with an embarrassed smile. 

“That’s very flattering,” he says, “but no. I am simply Castiel. If anything, Dean shares more in common with the Messiah than I do.” 

Instead of elaborating, Dean just snorts and humbly shakes his head. “Babe, we’ve talked about this--” 

But before he can finish, Cha Cha Slide blasts through the speakers and the gym falls into pandemonium as all the students rush to the dance floor. Jack, confused but excited, grabs Abby’s hand and drags her over to join in, leaving Dean and Cas for the rest of the night. 

Abby doesn’t consider herself a selfish person but even she has never thought so much about another person’s life than Jack’s. Her confusion keeps her up and night and prevents her from being fully present whenever she talks to Jack. She’s tried talking to her friends about it but even they have moved on from the enigma that is Jack Kline. 

One month after the formal--after she met Jack’s family--she finally snaps. She’s at lunch with him in a cafe downtown and he’s telling her about how his brother Kevin is visiting from college and is teaching Jack how to talk to angels. 

“What the fuck is wrong with your family,” she interrupts. 

Jack stops talking and tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“You said you have four dads and one of them was murdered by the other three. Dean and Sam are brothers and Dean is with Cas. Claire is your sister but Sam is her uncle and your brother has a mom but none of you are related to her.” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “You keep saying your dads saved the world and that they’ve died and come back. You said one of your dads was an angel and now your brother is teaching you how to talk to angels? Are you lying or are you just plain crazy?” 

After the last sentence slips from her lips, she gasps and a cold dread fills her. Jack just stares, shocked at the outburst. 

“You think I’m crazy?” he asked softly. 

Abby feels a lump in her throat form. “No, no, no,” she babbles, “I didn’t mean that. I’m just confused that’s all.” 

Jack brightens. “That’s ok, life is confusing. Anyways, I tried shawarma for the first time yesterday--like in the superhero movie!”

Abby sighs and let’s Jack rant about shawarma, resigned to the fact that she’ll never get a straight answer from this confounding boy and his unnatural family. 

#jack calls sam pa!!! #also i included kevin bc fuck spn kevin lives #this is not a self-insert btw #i just wanted an outside pov #tw abuse #tw dean's death #tw poverty #ficlet #spn #spn fanfiction #ava rambles #fics #fic rec

[emisanemu]

Unpretty

Cas x (female :) )Plus Size Reader 

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: smut, cursing, body doubts. 

Summary: You always find a way to feel so damn unpretty. 

      You had never been loud or outgoing, never the girl that made guys turn their heads when you walked by. You're quiet, it is easier to stay quiet then to put yourself out in the crowd. You feel insecure constantly, like you may never be good enough. You constantly look down at your too big stomach with light stretch marks, large thighs with trails of cellulite, breasts that never seem to be perfect, a wide butt that takes up too much space. The never ending stream of women that Dean brings around on hunts doesn't help, you just find yourself comparing your body to theirs. The girls they all have been with are thin, model looking women, so perfect, almost without any flaws. They are the girls you will never be, wear a size of clothing you haven't had on since middle school, they have everything. Even now as you sit with the guys you feel uncomfortable, insecure. 

      It was a stupid idea, Dean had insisted on showing Cas "new media" meaning a horror movie. Faux teenage girls in bikinis with perfect bodies, thin waists and clear skin, no stretch marks. You could see the way the guys ogled the fictional women, it made you want to disappear. 

"Damn beauties, right Cas? Some real women right there." 

    The words fell from Dean's lips with a chuckle. Cas looked confused as ever with his signature angel held tilt of trying to figure out what obscure statement Dean had made. You on the other hand were trying to sink into the couch, to vanish lien you hadn't even existed before this moment. Even if you did vanish you doubt anyone would notice, maybe they would just sense that less space was being taken up without even seeing who existed in that space. 

      Castiel noticed the sullen look on your face, the sadness pooling behind your blank face. He couldn't understand, maybe you had been upset by the movie which seemed unreal, a hunter being freaked out by a beyond fake horror movie. Although, it wasn't fear he saw scrawled across your face, it was a subtle look of defeat, of loss which only left him more confused. What had made you feel so gone. 

"Man you don't see many women like these women, perfect, fucking stunning." 

     Dean gestured at the women on the TV taking a sip from his beer bottle. Perfect. They were perfect, of course they were. You could feel your walls breaking down, you weren't stunning or perfect, not even close. You stared down at your plump thighs, twice the size of the ones belonging to the women on the TV. You dug your fingers into the meat of your legs, concealing the pain you felt, the disappointment that thrummed through your head. You hated this feeling. 

"God I wish more girls would take the time to look like that." 

      Dean's words felt more harsh than they were meant to be, they felt like knives. You shot up quickly excusing yourself from the room lying about a headache, anything to get away from the conversation. You didn't notice Cas's eyes on you, the confused feeling building deep in his chest. He could not sense any physical pain radiating from your body and he could feel your deception from a mile away. You were gone before he even had time to think, to process your presence no longer in the room. Cas looked between Sam and Dean recognizing a disappointed head shake coming from Sam. 

"Really Dean? Even you know that was fucked up to say, you know how she thinks." 

     Cas can feel anger bubbling in his stomach, Dean's words, that is what had hurt you. You weren't scared or upset, you were hurt, your insecurities had surfaced right before his eyes. He could at least now understand what you felt but not why you felt that way. Why were you insecure over the women on the TV, what about them was different. Maybe the confidence, Cas knew you never held much confidence, something he never understood. 

"I do not understand, why do the women on the TV make Y/N feel bad. Surely she can be just as confident." 

       Cas spoke in a serious tone, like he was interrogating, like he wanted answers. He looked between Sam and Dean, anger still evident on Sam's face, Dean's now overcome with guilt. 

"It's not confidence Cas, it's the way they look buddy." 

     Sam explained in a light tone and Cas tilted his head. How they looked? They were women, thin with perky exposed breasts, nothing special about them. They were scandalous women, a thousand of their kind. It wouldn't make sense for their bodies to make you feel bad, you were better than them in every way. You were a very beautiful woman, when Can saw you he saw the most beautiful women in history, the goddesses that have since only been seen as statues. Even then you were better than any goddess, so gorgeous. 

"Why would she be upset by under dressed women, Y/N is a gorgeous woman. Does she not like seeing their bodies?" 

       Cas was oblivious, very lost in thought most of the time but when it came to you he wanted to piece everything together. He looked at Sam and Dean waiting for an answer. 

"Cas, she isn't upset by their bodies, she is upset by hers. Dean has a habit of being empty headed and basically said in front of the only woman in the room that all women should look like the ones on TV. If you haven't noticed Y/N is a bigger girl, not like the girls on TV." 

        Castiel was angry, not only at Dean but at you. How could you even compare yourself to any other woman. They are so dull compared to how you shine, they act like every other woman and you are perfection. His jaw was clenched and his hands balled into fists at his sides, the look on his face could smite someone. With a flap of wings he was standing at your door. It was an internal battle of whether or not he should enter, whether or not he even had the authority to confront you. But you had to know what beauty you held before you lost the ability to comprehend. 

      You were looking at yourself in the mirror, only in your bra and underwear. You just wanted to see yourself as beautiful, wanted to be perfect, but you couldn't see it, couldn't see any of the characteristics that the other girls had. Your hands run along the curve of your hips and your stomach and you feel sick. You just want to be like those girls Dean said was perfect. You were so caught up in following the curves you didn't notice Cas creep up behind you. You startle quick and turn around throwing your hands over your body to cover yourself. 

      Cas looks determined, a serious angry look on his face. If looks could kill you were certain you would be a goner. 

"Remove your hands from your body." 

    You looked at him shocked, who gave him the right to speak to you that way. He was not supposed to be in your room, staring at you like a killer. Your mouth fell open ready to protest his demand but he did not give you the chance. He grabbed your wrists pulling your arms away from your body, away from covering the shame you felt in your curves. 

"I do not understand, why are you upset about your body. Nothing is wrong, it is a very beautiful vessel, anyone would be glad to see it."

      Your mouth was gaping, almost stuck open in shock. Why would he say such a thing, it's not true, it can't be. You shook your head, why was he even here, why was he even looking at your body in such an intimate way. 

"Stop resisting being beautiful Y/N, you are so beyond gorgeous, immaculate and perfect. Let me show you how to be pretty again, please." 

       He stepped closer to you, finally releasing your wrists, instead he caught your chin tilting your face up so you could look him in the eyes. His striking blue eyes felt like comfort and he looked at you like you were made of gold, like you were the angel rather than him. You reached up running your fingers gently through his hair, pressing your body closer to his. He pressed his forehead against your gently, your noses bumping together. You could feel his warm breath fanning across your face, fluttering along your eyelashes. He used the hand on your chin to close the distance between your lips and his. 

       Cas felt himself melt against your mouth, his lips connecting in slow movements against yours. You tasted sweet, like honey, he couldn't get enough. He placed his free hand on your hip, squeezing lightly as he played with the waistband of your underwear. Your lips moved against his slowly, your hand curing deeper into his messy black hair. He smelled devine, like the ocean and pine wood, it was perfect. Almost as perfect as the way his tongue drew a line against your lips asking for entrance into your mouth which you granted. In this moment you would give anything to Castiel, you would fall to your knees and beg for him if he asked you to. 

      Your right hand moved boldly to the collar of his coat pulling at it, wanting to see more than just his face for once. He removed his hands from your body as you slowly slid his coat and suit jacket off of his arms leaving him in his white button down. Castiel spun you suddenly, pushing you gently into your mattress. You opened your eyes in awe of the man standing above you and scooted yourself further onto the bed. You swallowed hard as he laid himself between your legs. He connected your lips once more as he carefully rubbed his calloused palms up your plump thighs. 

     Cas felt along the hills and valleys of the cellulite on your thighs while nipping and sucking at your plump lips. His hands slowly inched to where you needed him most gently teasing along the outside of your panties. He let his fingers dance along your lips gently relishing in the small pool of slick that had formed between your legs. He smiled against your lips before moving his attention down to your neck. He kissed gently, cherishing the taste of your skin, so much more than the molecules he was used to, so beautiful. He began pulling your underwear down slowly only moving himself for a moment to pull them off of your body and drop them unceremoniously onto your floor. 

      He enjoyed the way you gasped when he nipped gently at the plush skin on your neck. Cas didn't know much beyond his one and only intimate experience but he would do anything to please you. He could feel himself growing in his slacks as he let his hips grind against you bare core gently in a slow languid motion. This time a moan echoed form your mouth only fueling the fire which Cas had lit. He trusted himself harder against you, your hips knocking against his clumsily. 

"Cas please, no teasing." 

      Your voice was quiet and shaking, you could feel the low buzz of heat growing in your abdomen. You helped him undo his belt and slacks and watched in awe as he pulled himself out of his underwear. You were desperate, ready to rutt against him like a cat in heat, you needed him and he knew it. He attaches his lips back to yours as he slowly lines himself up with your entrance. With one slow thrust he bottoms out, fully sheathing himself within you. You gasp as he stretches you, he is bigger than your past lovers, something that you very much enjoy. He moves slowly, thrusting himself in and out of your heat. Your bodies mold together and move in sync, low moans falling from his mouth and quiet calls of his name from yours. 

       In this moment you feel perfect, so beautiful and wanted. Nothing between you and Cas could make you feel unpretty, make you feel unworthy. The way his hips move with yours is glorious and he kisses you like you are the only thing giving him life. 

#castiel x you #castiel x reader #castiel x plus size reader #castiel x reader smut #supernatural reader insert #supernatural x reader #supernatural x reader smut #plus size reader #supernatural fanfiction

[adhdeancas]

well folks, we got a first look at the cas/crowley fake date to make dean jealous fic, here’s the bitchiest couple you’ve ever seen: 

The door is thrown open and Dean’s silhouette stops in the frame. There’s a beat of silence, as each person thinks his confused slow motion thoughts to himself, and then Crowley throws himself on top of Cas, holding onto his lapels so he can’t get away. Cas still tries to squirm, trying to pull Crowley’s arms off, but Crowley bites his lip and he yelps. 

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Dean shouts. “What the fuck?”

Sam walks past just in time to see Cas haul Crowley up against a wall. “Hey, uh, Dean, why don’t we give them a little space, huh?” His voice comes out squeaky. He drags his brother by the elbow and slams the door shut behind him, trying and failing not to make eye contact with Crowley. Crowley winks. 

After the door shuts, Crowley releases his iron grip and wipes Cas’s spit off his mouth. “Sad, feathers. Really would’ve thought heaven’s finest would catch on sooner than that.”

Cas glares. “You kissed me. In front of Dean.”

“I thought you wanted to prompt into action?”

“I do,” Cas pinches the bridge of his nose. He can still taste blood on his tongue from the demon’s impulsive action. Unfortunately, he has to admit, it does get a reaction out of Dean. And isn’t that what he wants? For Dean to finally realize that he wants Cas to be his, not just his best friend. 

Crowley is smug. He knows he’s won. He holds up his hands, grin spreading wider in what he’s been told is his Supremely Devious Smile. “Great. A few romps here and there, a date if we’re feeling sentimental, the idiot will explode.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Cas watches as Crowley straightens out his suit and examines his nails. 

“No offense, Romeo, but I know what Squirrel wants. And it’s not… Saturday cartoons and missionary style.” Cas is too busy fuming to notice, but Crowley hears the hint of wistfulness peeking from under the disdain. 

“You think he’ll choose you.”

Crowley raises his eyebrows at the angel and holds out a hand. “May the best man win.”

Cas’s eyes flicker between Crowley’s face and his hand, considering how this could be a setup. In the end, he decides it is a setup, but not one Crowley’s trying to hide. It’s a disastrous plan, trying to convince Dean that he wants to climb into bed with the King of Hell rather than him. Then again, Dean looked… shocked. Scared. Maybe… maybe a little upset when Crowley kissed him. Because Crowley kissed him. It’s a disastrous plan. It could work. He offers his hand, and Crowley pulls him in to seal the deal how he always does. This time, Cas does his part, and Crowley looks almost impressed when he pulls away. “I’m going to win.”

#cas/crowley #destiel #drowley #castiel #crowley #dean winchester #fanfic #ficlet #my writing #fake dating

[plus-size-reader]

Motherly Instincts

Dean Winchester x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1992 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Dean’s gf being there for Kelly through her entire pregnancy, and then having a bond to Jack that she can’t explain, even to Dean

——————————————————————————————————

You and Dean had been in a committed relationship for a number of years, but you had never handled something like this between the two of you. 

Killing monsters was a piece of cake, and putting your lives out on the line was almost a daily occurrence but you two had no experience with children. 

None at all, really. 

It was no secret that you had no plans of ever having children in the life, so the closest you would likely ever get to any kind of childbirth came in the form of Kelly Kline, a young woman who was currently carrying the spawn of Satan. 

It wasn't something she’d ever asked for, and had been party to against her will, though she had so much goodwill and love in her heart that she didn’t care what her son would become. 

She seemed to believe that he was good, and if she did, you weren’t going to argue. You had to do what you thought was right, even if it meant possibly upsetting the love of your life. 

Instead of worrying about that though, you threw yourself fully into the pregnancy process and everything that could happen upon the birth of her son.

You had been online shopping for days, buying onesies, tiny shoes, Swedish cribs and paint for the nursery. It was fully consuming you in the best way, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

You loved every second of it. 

“Here, try this part” you suggested, handing a very pregnant Kelly a smaller piece of wood that you wanted to make fit. No matter how hard you tried, nothing was working. 

You just didn’t have all the bits and pieces you needed to make it work. 

“I hate this crap. I wasn’t made to build Ikea furniture. I can take apart and rebuild a rifle in thirty seconds but I can’t do this” you huffed, setting it down in upset. 

This was getting ridiculous, however, you didn’t want to argue with her over it. Kelly had made it very clear to you how important this was to her, and you knew that she had to do this. 

So, if you had to suck it up and nearly obliterate this whole thing in frustration and rage, you were just going to have to.

“It’ll be okay, we can figure this out” she assured, doing her best to calm you though it was hard to believe since she was laughing at you. You had been doing your best. 

...And Kelly owed you for all the kindness and support you’d offered her through all this. 

You were the only person who had been on her side every step of the way and she knew that you would die for her baby. Nothing was going to keep you from him. 

In her position, that was all Kelly needed to know. 

“Thank you for all of this. I know it’s not really your thing” she teased, gesturing over to the duckling with a handgun you’d insisted on painting on the wall. 

It was just like the one you’d had on your own as a kid and it was something you found amusing beyond comparison. It was something that you and Kelly could both agree was kind of funny. 

It was very you, and that meant that she found the joy in it. 

“It’s not as bad as I thought. I kind of like all the baby prepping stuff” you grinned, reaching out to take her hand in your own, giving it a squeeze. “Besides, it’s what friends do” you smiled, grinning at her. 

Through all of this, you couldn’t imagine how she felt, knowing that this was going to be the end of her life, having hardly done anything she’d dreamed of before...knowing that this was it. 

“It is, isn’t it?” she smiled, knowing that you two, were in fact, friends. It had come to be in a rather strange way but it was exactly what it needed to be at the time. 

It was everything you needed. 

~

You knew very little about what had actually happened inside the house from where you were, watching the tear in spacetime from outside. However, that all changed as soon as Jack was born. 

He came into the world and with him came a surge of energy that coursed through you and every other living thing on this planet. 

You had no idea what was going on, but before you could even stop to think, you found yourself racing up the stairs toward Kelly’s room. Something had changed, and you had to make sure she was alright.

The only problem was that she wasn’t. 

Kelly was already gone when you got to her bedside, immediately causing your heart to sink into your stomach. All of this, and you hadn’t been there for her when you needed to.

Knowing this part was inevitable didn’t make it hurt any less, not that you could focus on that pit in your stomach, when you realized her baby was nowhere to be found. 

Which was strange because, typically, babies just didn’t go missing like that as soon as they were born. 

Luckily though, before you could completely freak out over the loss of the baby, and the closest friend that you’d made in a while, you noticed the trail of fiery footprints burned into the floor. 

...Not baby sized footprints either. Whatever was up here with you, you were almost positive that it wasn’t a baby.

Without missing a beat, you reached into the waistband of your jeans, feeling around the middle of your back briefly before grasping the handle of the knife you always kept there. 

Perhaps you should have stopped to get Sam or Dean before going into something that could be dangerous but you didn’t have time for that. They were currently messing around in the alternate dimension and you didn’t want to interrupt. 

Whatever was behind that door, you knew that you would be able to handle it for yourself. 

You had to, at least, for now. 

“You wanna play? Let's play” you hummed, determined to gank whatever it was as quickly as possible so that you could go back to searching for Kelly’s baby. You weren’t going to let him get far if he’d wandered off. 

Not that you had to worry about that for very long before you found out what had really happened. In the dark of that room, in the corner in a big ball, you found a boy...a boy who was much closer to a man than anything else. 

“Who the hell are you? What’s going on?” you demanded, your voice filling the room in replacement for the silence that had been there previously.

You had no idea who he was, but once you decided he was likely not a threat, you put your knife back in its place. Whoever this guy was, you knew that you could take him if he had any sort of problem.  

Though, he clearly didn’t have any idea who he was either. That much was clear from the blank expression on his face and the confusion shining in his eyes. 

“My name, is Jack” 

His reply was slow, and came in a cadence you weren’t used to hearing but as soon as he said it, everything made much more sense. You couldn’t find Kelly’s baby because her baby wasn’t a baby at all. 

Apparently, her baby had chosen to mature at a much faster rate than mortals typically did and you weren’t about to argue with that. Stranger things had happened. 

“Jack? Are you alright?” you tried, kneeling down where you stood to get closer to where he was sitting though you didn’t really need to. You really just wanted to make sure that he knew you weren’t going to hurt him. 

The last thing you wanted was to scare him away. 

You were talking to a being not even a day old, but who held more power than you could have imagined. Cas had made that very clear as soon as he saw what Jack would be capable of.

He wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. 

Luckily for you, the farthest thing from your mind was letting anything hurt Jack. You had helped Kelly through the latter part of her pregnancy and you knew how important her baby was to her. 

In some ways, you guessed losing her had only reinforced your desire to take care of him, just like you had when she was alive. 

“I’m fine. I need to find my father” he started, standing almost immediately after the words left his lips, though you knew that you had some things to talk about first. 

You had approached him rather timidly as far as a hunter went, but Sam and Dean would not be so cautious in their greeting. In fact, you weren’t about to even put shooting at him past Dean. 

...Especially not after the events of the past month or so. 

Still, you forced yourself to focus on the task at hand, smiling at Jack in the most genuine way you could muster. “I’d bet my friends and I can help you find him. I’m Y/N, I want to help you” you hummed, reaching out a hand to show him you meant well. 

You had no idea if a handshake was a gesture he’d recognize or not but you had to give it your best shot. After all, Jack had to know that he had at least one friend in the world. 

As much as you loved him, you knew that Dean had his own reservations about Jack and what he was before he was even born and you weren’t going to let that affect him. 

Or, you were going to do your best to not to let that happen. 

“You look so much like your mom” you gushed briefly, the words slipping out before you even meant for them to, shocking both you and the male in front of you. 

Immediately after mentioning Kelly, his attitude pricked up a little bit more as if he was more inclined to hear you out. It was a good start, maybe letting him know you cared about Kelly would increase his trust in you. 

At the very least it was worth a shot. 

“Kelly and I were pretty close before you were born” you shrugged, doing your best not to think about it too much. As sad as you were to have lost her, you were talking to her son who had never gotten a chance to meet her. 

You just felt like you had to keep that in mind when talking about her. 

“You knew my mother?” he asked, his voice surprisingly deep considering the amount of time he’d been on earth. You didn’t know very much about nephilim but you were going to have to read up if you were gonna help Cas take care of Jack.

“Castiel” 

You had forgotten all about the guys over there in the other world while focusing on Jack, but they had been gone for quite a while. It was likely they needed your help. 

“Come on honey, I’ll explain later. You have to just trust me” you tried now, a little more urgently as you worried about the fate of your friends more and more with each passing second. 

They’d all been off their game for a little while now and if something happened to them, you would never be able to forgive yourself. 

...And surprisingly, Jack allowed you to lead him from the building so that you could find those three idiots who had probably gotten themselves into all kinds of trouble in the time you’d been gone. 

You just had to hope that Dean wasn’t too cross with you when he found out that you had pretty much taken Jack for your own at this point. 

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x ps reader #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #supernatural x plus size reader #supernatural x ps reader #spn #spn imagine #spn x reader #spn x plus size reader #spn x ps reader #jack kline #jack kline x ps reader #jack kline x plus size reader #jack kline imagine #jack kline x reader

[deans-haunted-baby]

Dadstiel Shoulder Touch Analysis

I want to take some time to discuss something about this incredible father/son dynamic that I don’t think gets enough recognition. And that is their connection. A connection layered in so many different attributes yet primarily based on physical touch. Apologies this is going to be long. Despite my saltiness towards Supernatural as I feel the show squandered them during its run, I really love the amount of attention to detail that was put into Castiel and Jack’s relationship. It kind of has a Terminator inspired vibe going on which I can’t deny enjoying. The bodyguard and the future savior of mankind. And this bond was in development all the way back in season 12; long before Jack was born. 

During 12x19 it’s through his mother Kelly, that the son of Lucifer forges an emotional attachment with the trench-coated angel whom he imprints on to be his surrogate dad. From the moment Castiel puts his hand on her belly, and feels Jack, they instantly fall in love with each other. At first touch. Trusting each other completely without the slightest bit of doubt as they sense the other’s good aura. It’s a devotion unlike anything Cas has ever experienced in his millions of years. Even more than what he’s felt for Sam and Dean. And it happens before he and Jack even get to see each other. Their bond becomes intensely essential that it boosts Castiel’s grace, allowing him to protect Kelly and her son from Dagon as well as cause a rip in time and space.

After Jack is born and in the care of the Winchesters, scared, lost and confused yet curious as an infant in an adolescent body; the child wanders aimlessly searching for Castiel. All he wants in that moment is to be with Castiel because that is who he recognizes as his father. Missing him and needing to feel that same warmth, protection and compassion he felt from inside his mother’s womb. However, following the tragic circumstances that led to the angel’s unexpected death at the hands of Jack’s biological dad in 12x23, these two are forcibly separated in the beginning of season 13. Until Jack instinctively resurrects Castiel out of the Empty through his own will and desire alone at the very end of 13x03. Proving that no matter how far away they are, the tether between them can’t be broken.

These two don’t even need an introduction from Sam and Dean when 13x06 finally reunites them for the first time. Jack immediately knows who Castiel is going off on his mother’s memories. And their reunion comes so naturally. There’s no awkwardness, no hesitation or apprehensiveness emanating from the angel’s presence. Jack just walks right up to Cas, puts his arms around him and tells him how much he missed him. Its as if they’d never been apart. And afterwards they spend nearly the entire episode practically inseparable. Getting to know each other as father and son. And that goes without saying, while Jack did bond with the Winchesters in person first, there is no comparison to the Nephilim boy’s emotional attachment towards the angel.

This special relationship is very significant to both of them. Around each other they’re at their most happiest. Castiel is constantly at Jack’s side; and ALMOST ALWAYS tenderly touching him, namely his shoulders or protectively holding him by the arm and the child wholly reciprocates this. In Castiel’s gentle physical touch Jack is given a sense of security, solace, reassurance and comfort. Same as he’d had as an unborn baby. Not only is this the angel’s way of demonstrating his affection, empathy and devotion towards his son but this is actually how he non-verbally tells Jack that he loves him. Its purely unconditional. And this gesture isn’t one-sided as I will acknowledge later. Jack desires Cas’s tangible nearness as much as his dad does which is why they’re so magnetically pulled together in all of their scenes on the show. 

Even when they’re at conflict with each other or arguing, Castiel never fails to let Jack know that he’s always safe and loved. That he isn’t afraid of him. His son could be in pain, angry, or vengeful in the moment and Castiel’s affection for that child will never waver. He’ll endlessly put his own life at risk in order to reach Jack; who is far more powerful than he is via his archangel half. Like the convivence store scene in 13x23 when Jack attacks a civilian believing he’d killed his friend and Cas does his best to subdue him. Whether Jack wants it or not at the time, he needs his dad’s emotional support; and the angel can’t stand the thought of his son harmed or hurting. He’s easily saddened whenever Jack refuses his touch as shown in 13x21 when he was very upset over Sam’s temporary death and rips away Cas’s hand as he’s trying to console him.

Supernatural really emphasizes the powerful connection Castiel and Jack share using physical communication in nearly every one of their episodes. Its these wonderful details they do onscreen that illustrates the depth of love these characters have for each other. Unfortunately though, they didn’t get to interact much during season 13. Yet the small portions in their four episodes together is exceptionally substantial. While we’re on the subject, the shoulder touches are definitely a Dadstiel thing. It’s their signature sign of affection and theirs’s only. Don’t believe me, let me give you an example of a specific scene in 14x19 between Jack and Sam; which takes place in the aftermath of Jack’s accidental killing of the Winchesters’ mother Mary.

Dean and Sam conspire to trick and lock away the soulless infant Nephilim in a mystical coffin as punishment with the intention of finding a solution that will end his life. Sam is the reluctant main player in this scheme of using his influence over the child in order to gain his trust and sway him into his fate. Just before Jack’s about to be led to the room and put into the box, scared and uncertain, Sam then puts his hand on his shoulder telling him they need to keep him safe while giving him an awkward grin. And look at Jack’s expression as this happens. It reads shattered. He immediately knows something’s wrong. Sam is touching him just like Castiel…except this is nothing like Castiel. His dad’s shoulder touches are always so tender and loving. 

Jack can literally feel Cas’s devotion for him in every tangibility. But here he doesn’t feel that from Sam at all. Its cold, fearful and empty just like he is on the inside. Rendering him even more nervous. Speaking of season 14 the father/son content we get between Castiel and Jack is even better that year as its all about their relationship growing and strengthening into something far deeper than it was in the previous seasons 12 and 13. It’s the year their bond is put through the ultimate test. Where Jack is made human after Lucifer steals his grace and Cas dominantly steps into his role as a father.  

Providing Jack with a certain guidance, boundaries, and stability in episodes 14x01, 14x02, 14x03, 14x09 and 14x10 unlike what he’d received from Sam and Dean. Castiel takes on all the difficult tasks of parenting ranging from scolding to teaching his son about death, responsibility, self-restraint, patience and the tribulations of growing up. He doesn’t raise his voice ever when he speaks to Jack. And is completely there 100% for his son from the beginning…and the end of his life. Although Castiel is an angel he is very much a pivotal link to Jack’s humanity and vice versa as well as a link to his celestial side. While he greatly admires and looks up to the Winchesters, its through Cas’s influence that the infant Nephilim aspires to be a good person. 

Jack never wants to become the monster his biological father was; desperate to break out of that mold once in for all. And he isn’t alone. Castiel is right there with Jack every step of the way. Ready to challenge and encourage his son whenever he does something decent or makes a mistake. He doesn’t hesitate to tell his son when he’s proud of him. And sometimes he’s there to coddle Jack during times of crisis as displayed in the 14x09 showdown with AU!Michael where the angel takes a second to heal Jack’s minor facial wounds. I just love that tiny focal point of Cas in the background, as the Winchesters are talking, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder before using his powers on him. As if to keep him calm; like a parent reassuring their nervous kid that it won’t hurt.

Throughout the first part of season 14 we’re blessed with so much affectionate Dadstiel moments like the after-the-battle angst talk in 14x01 where Castiel reminds a very frustrated Jack “you’ve got me” as he declares he has nothing. Or 14x08 after Jack’s death and they’re bittersweetly reunited in Heaven with Kelly; all smiles, touching shoulders and hugging each other as if they can’t bear to be separated. Followed with that heartfelt moment of Castiel tenderly touching his son’s cheeks, sadly looking at him with so much adoration, as he sends his soul back to his body. Then there was their unforgettable father/son pep talk in regards to the vulnerability of Jack’s soul; Castiel just gives his son’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he leaves the room. Again, this is how these two say “I love you”.

And I couldn’t very go in depth of this analysis without mentioning 14x20′s Jack death scene 2.0; Castiel helplessly touches his son, who’s screaming on the ground in agony, trying desperately to ease his suffering. Yah this was particularly very hard for me to watch witnessing Castiel going out of his mind, completely unable to save Jack from enduring such a painful end to his life. Once was already cruel enough on me. And of course 15x01 continued that vicious trend of Castiel harrowingly protecting his son’s corpse, carrying him over the shoulder in a fireman’s hold as he runs through the cemetery, then gently lays him down on the floor in a mausoleum. I get emotional watching Cas cradling Jack’s head as he positions him comfortably; letting his touch linger unable to let go. He doesn’t even care what happens to him in this moment as long as his son’s body is safe. Very strong symbolism of a parent who will never abandon their child long after they’re gone. 

On a side note I want to quickly call attention to how much I revere the Dadstiel healing parallels in 14x09 and 14x14 plus BONUS: Jack almost-killing Castiel in 15x13 so he can talk to Ruby in the Empty. These just add some nice little textures in their dynamic which compliments their ongoing tradition of showing devotion through physical communication. And both the healing scenes and the temporary death scene are composited very similarly. Focused on Castiel and Jack’s hands in the process of relieving the other’s pain/life. 

Touch is exhibited as being a very crucial element for both of these characters when it comes to their iron-clad relationship. That palpable part of Castiel and Jack’s connection keeps them closely-knit. Its their familial instinct and how they express their feelings for each other. If they aren’t kneading shoulders, the angel duo is often standing beside each other or firmly linked at the arms. And this usually happens during moments of extreme stress, joy, sorrow, pain or fear. Jack relies so much on Castiel’s parental presence. He respects his authority, disobeying only when his actions feel necessary, and will go to the angel whenever he wants to talk or vent. Jack is also comfortable with Castiel enough to confide his darkest secrets no matter how awful they are. That’s the foundation of the everlasting trust built between them. They’re just tethered to one another in such a way that nothing will divide them. 

I’ll begin with the hospital scene from 14x07 where Castiel is being the rock to his ailing son who can barely stand on his feet. There’s so much anxiety radiating off him in this moment as he struggles with watching Jack suffer; holding him so close. Staring at his face you can tell this horrible situation is ripping him apart. Actually, the entire episode is basically just Castiel silently enduring the pain of Jack dying.

The second set of screencaps underneath are of 14x10; Jack is agitated by AU!Michael’s antagonistic claims that his family’s love for him isn’t unconditional. Reading into one of his greatest fears. But then Castiel instantly calls out to his son, grabs the crook of his arm; gently reassuring him none of this is true. And Jack doesn’t resist this as he knows his dad is sincere. He never has to question Cas’s feelings towards him as his physical touch alone is self-explanatory. But when it comes to the Winchesters, that’s a whole other conversation.    

Next, we have one of my favorite emotionally-charged Dadstiel moments in 14x14; where in a fit of panic because the anti venom wasn’t working Jack, going against Castiel’s warnings not to risk burning off his soul, is compelled to use his powers to save his dad. And I love this because this time its Jack who’s the one initiating all the physical contact. Just as the recovered angel demands what he’s done, his son responds with a soft “you’re okay” and the “I love you dad” shoulder touch as well as firmly gripping his arm.  

Finally stepping away from season 14 I’m going to briefly go over the caps from season 15. Let’s begin with 15x11 the Dadstiel reunion scene at the church which is so beautifully poignant. Castiel is so overjoyed to see Jack alive that he takes a second to look over his equally stunned son, touching his shoulders before they embrace. This is by far one of Cas and Jack’s top father/son moments on the show and it’s done so effectively. If you want a more in-depth description for what I love about this scene, you can read my post about it here.

After that is the 15x13 Dadstiel moment where Castiel, suspicious of Jo’s story about the Occultum, had asked Jack to temporarily kill him in order to go see Ruby in the Empty. Two things I really like about this; 1. even though Jack still doesn’t have a soul, is very concerned about and protective over Castiel because of that deal. And 2. again Jack is initiating all the touching in this scene; look at the way he grasps his dad’s arm as he returns him to life. It’s almost as if he’s hoping the touch of his hand will not only speed up the process but also reach his dad so his essence isn’t lost forever.   

And then we have 15x17. We didn’t get much Dadstiel interaction in this episode but the amount of times Castiel protectively holds onto his agonized child, who’d been turned into a cosmic bomb about to go off any minute, having no regard for the danger he’s in is so visually gut-wrenching. There’s a specific moment in the scene where, as Sam and Dean are arguing, Castiel is sitting on the floor just clutching Jack tight. Trying to non-verbally soothe him.

And this is followed up in the first half of 15x18, aka THEIR VERY LAST EPISODE TOGETHER ever on Supernatural. Here is where everything about their connection comes full circle with Castiel refusing to abandon Jack no matter the situation. Demonstrating the extent of his devotion by willing to die for his child just as he’d sacrificed his happiness to save Jack from the Empty. Because that is his son and nothing not even death itself can ever destroy what they have. Much as the young Nephilim boy begs for his dad to stay away, yells that he doesn’t want to hurt him; Castiel kneeling to Jack’s eye-level doesn’t leave his side. Then when Jack disappears to the Empty and reappears back at the bunker reformed, Castiel’s hand remains firmly glued to his son’s shoulder. He doesn’t want Jack to feel afraid or traumatized any further.

This was such an intense part of the episode I mean just look at how stressed out these two were. The anguish in their expressions. Simply put, Cas and Jack cannot bare to live without the other. They’re each other’s home; two sides of the same soul. Castiel loves all of Jack; the good, the bad and the ugly. This is an EPIC father and son’s love that knows no bounds. So powerful and pure that it transcended the loss of Jack’s soul, Lucifer’s DNA, the Empty, Mary Winchester’s death and everything else in between. Oh, and guess what, their “I love you” Dadstiel shoulder touches aren’t limited to just their hands. Its in every single one of their hugs too.  

Notice how their chins or faces just comfortably rest on top of each other’s shoulders. And except for 14x20 their eyes are shut, as if to savor every single second of that closeness. Jack just buries himself against Castiel like he’s never felt safer with anyone else in the whole universe. And both of them hold each other; giving and receiving the other’s love with their whole self. Like I can’t even begin to describe how much Castiel and Jack’s softness towards each other just melts my heart. Their relationship, despite the horror tongue-in-cheek atmosphere of SPN, is surprisingly sweet, healthy and endearing. They are the epitome of true unconditional love and a great contrast to the Winchester brothers. In my humble opinion Castiel and Jack’s father/son dynamic is the best thing to happen to this show in a long while.

For the closing segment of this analysis I want to do something special before I discuss the paralleled-angst driven Dadstiel shoulder touches in 15x15 and 15x18. First off, I can’t shout enough praise from the rooftops about the insanely remarkable chemistry between Alexander Calvert and Misha Collins. Just brilliant casting. They embody these characters heart and soul and make this relationship feel so real, genuine and grounded. The fact that they look so similar in appearance really sells the idea that these two could actually be father and son. Forget the scripts, the quiet subtly these two bring to Castiel and Jack is the true magic of their relationship.

Let me start with the Dadstiel centric 15x15 aka THE BEST EPISODE of Supernatural season 15. This amazing masterpiece of art is everything I could’ve asked for and more; giving me so much precious father/son content that I will cherish forever. I really enjoyed seeing Castiel and Jack in those matching ties, bonding with each other over a case while they save the day. It’s a shame this show never let these two have more solo adventures together because they’re truly a joy to watch onscreen. Fingers crossed for that spinoff.

But I digress, the car scene in question happens at the very end of the episode in which Jack reveals the alarming truth that he has to die in order to stop Chuck and Amara. And Castiel, visibly and outspokenly distraught by this news, has to be assuaged with that infamous shoulder touch by his son; who’s in just as much pain. This is without a doubt one of most emotional scenes between these two characters out of the last three seasons of the show and quite possibly one of Misha and Alex’s strongest acting moments after the Dadstiel church reunion in 15x11. They killed it with the feels here. I like the attention to detail, the shadows and the colors in the shot, the melancholic score as well as how it seamlessly switches from Jack’s perspective to Castiel’s. Seriously watching this scene always makes me cry its so devastating.

 Lastly, we have the Dadstiel car scene in 15x18; and Castiel and Jack’s LAST ONE-ON-ONE together. I’m kind of disappointed by this if I’m being honest. Its not that its bad its just not that definitively great for a final scene between these characters. Especially after four seasons of development. Where are the stakes? Why don’t Jack and Castiel seem as concerned about their situation? Cute as that smile was it doesn’t fit the tone. And where’s that punch in the gut knowing something is going to separate these two any second? It’s too light and doesn’t come off like a goodbye or a cathartic bookend which is what I wanted to take away from the episode considering its title “Despair”.

I mean if they were going to follow up on that heartbreaking car scene at the end of “Gimme Shelter”, the 15x18 scene wasn’t the way to do it. So, the weight of this final interaction feels almost non-existent. Maybe if it had taken place at night and the dialogue solely focused on them not the Winchesters it would’ve faired better. But since this isn’t a rant post I’ll cut to the chase by saying that the only saving grace this moment has happens in the last part. Jack’s in tears telling his dad how scared he is that he can’t use his powers to protect anyone. Coming off very childlike and vulnerable; needing that parental protection that Castiel was always known for. And sure enough, he gives Jack that final “I love you” shoulder touch which I swear had me choked a little. 

Rethinking about it now that the show is over actually makes their final moment together really sad as incomplete as it is. I not only look back on how much these characters were drastically underutilized but how much the Dadstiel storyline could’ve been executed better with all the development that it was given. Well there you have it my full Dadstiel shoulder-touch analysis. Hope you’ve enjoyed!

#dadstiel #Jack Kline #castiel #supernatural #alexander calvert #misha collins #SPN #castiel x jack #cas and jack #supernatural season 13 #jack x castiel #misha x alex #spn analysis #spn meta #jack and cas #extremely long post #castiel the angel #supernatural season 14 #supernatural season 15 #the shoulder touch

[onlyangelcas]

rosé flowing with your chosen family

my addition to @spnwomenweek ☼ day 2: family | read on ao3

“Claire,” Kaia says softly, placing her hand on Claire’s shoulder. “This is your family, what are you so worried about?”

Claire sighs, unsure of what exactly is so nerve wracking about walking into a house filled with her loved ones. Her back is resting against the side of her beat up station wagon, one sneaker kicking uselessly at the gravel under her feet and Kaia is looking at her with those concerned eyes that make her stomach knot up with guilt.

In front of her, past the somewhat wild front lawn, is Sam and Eileen’s new home, where their family is gathered for a last minute housewarming party. Sam and Eileen had put in an offer a few days after their wedding back in March, eager to get out of the dingy bunker and begin their life as a married couple. Claire was happy for them, Sam deserved a life of domesticity, just as Cas and Dean did.

It was weird, those first few weeks after the Winchsesters had defeated Chuck, God, whatever. Claire was devastated by the news of Cas being taken by the Empty, she hardly moved from her bed in the days following. Left confused, broken, and grieving an angel who was like her father in more ways than just his appearance. Kaia was supportive, of course, content to cuddle up next to her and run a soothing hand through her hair or convince her to eat a real meal at least once a day.

Before she even had the chance to fully process the loss of Cas, Jack and Dean had rescued him from the Empty. She remembered Jody’s voice calling out to her, she had slid from her bed and padded toward the front door. Claire was shocked to see Cas standing there, normal trench coat and suit traded in for a sweater and jeans, his hand tightly holding Dean’s. The two men had looked at her with concern, probably taking in her wrinkled pajamas, two-day-old bun, and the dark circles under her eyes. She had passed on asking the millions of questions that had flooded her mind in favor of wrapping herself tightly around Cas.

Claire had never been one to show her emotions so viscerally, but in that moment she couldn’t help the tears that quickly rolled down her cheeks. The joy of seeing Cas, when she thought he was gone for good, standing in her living room full of life and having apparently worked out whatever feelings he had for Dean, was overwhelming. Cas held her tightly while Dean ran a soothing hand across her back, and she wept openly for the first time since the Bad Place.

After that, things had returned to normal. Not normal for Claire, because all she had really known for the last few years was hunting, but the kind of normal where she didn’t have to kill monsters or worry that Sam and Dean were off getting themselves in trouble. There weren’t any monsters to hunt anymore, which left her feeling empty and useless for months. Kaia had pulled her out of that, like Kaia always did, and they decided to travel across the country and see the places they had never been able to enjoy before. It was freeing, to be on the open road, enjoying just being alive.

Claire and Kaia often passed through Kansas to visit Cas, Dean, and Jack at their house on the lake or to swing by the bunker to see Sam and Eileen. They never missed a birthday, wedding, or big event. Which is how they found themselves back in Kansas, Jody had called to let them know everyone was getting together for a housewarming party for Sam and Eileen. Her and Kaia had been in Memphis, enjoying barbecue and Blues, so the drive wasn’t too much of a hassle.

“Earth to blondie,” Kaia says, snapping Claire back to the present. “Are we going inside anytime soon? I’m starving, babe.”

Claire clears her throat, “Yeah, sorry. Lost in my head.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She looks into Kaia’s eyes, the usual soft brown painted with worry, and smiles in hopes it will ease her girlfriend’s concern, “No, I’m good, just overthinking. Let’s go eat.”

Kaia gives her a tentative smile, wrapping her hand around Claire’s and pulling her in for a chaste kiss.

They approach the front door, Claire raises her hand to knock but before her knuckles make contact the door swings open, revealing Sam with a grin spread across his face. He quickly wraps them both up in a hug and pulls them inside the loud and lively house. Claire and Kaia congratulate him on the house before breaking away to greet Jody, Donna, Alex, and Patience.

After hugs are exchanged and road trip updates are given, Claire slips away to the kitchen for a drink and Kaia heads toward Cas and Eileen who are clearly gossiping in ASL in the far corner of the living room.

Claire yanks open the fridge and helps herself to a beer, twisting off the cap and taking a long drink before propping herself against the counter.

“Hello Claire,” Jack says happily from where he’s sitting at the kitchen island, Claire hadn’t even noticed him when she first came in.

“Jack, jeeze, you scared me.”

“My apologies, I didn’t realize you hadn’t seen me.” Jack responds, his hands wrapped around a can of root beer.

“Yeah, I guess I was a little lost in thought.” She says, turning her head toward the door where the sound of Dean’s laughter is filtering through.

There’s a pause then, as Claire contemplates how she ended up here, with this ragtag group of former hunters, angels, and a witch that she calls family. It’s weird, she had always expected her dad to show back up one day and make their family whole again, back when she was young and naive. It’s even weirder, she thinks, that this band of misfits has become a better image of family than she could ever imagine to have with her mother and father. Claire had come to think of herself as a combination of Novak-Winchester-Mills-Hanscum for quite some time now, content to be part of this chosen family.

She still missed her mom and dad, from time to time, wondered what life would have been like if they had stayed with her. Claire never let herself spend too long on that path, knowing that if things had been different she would have never known Jody or Alex, she would never have known Cas, or Sam and Dean, she never would have fallen in love with Kaia. She has a family now; she found a mother in Jody and Donna, Castiel and Dean became her kind-of dads, Sam and Eileen the closest thing she has to an uncle and aunt, Alex and Patience are her sisters, Jack her brother. It’s weird and mismatched, but it’s hers and she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Claire,” Jack says, breaking her out of her thoughts. “You seem troubled.”

Claire flashes him a watery smile, suddenly overcome with affection for her perfectly messed up family, “Actually the opposite.”

Jack smiles back at her, a gap-toothed goofy grin, “Oh, I thought you were upset.”

She pushes herself away from the counter, abandoning her beer on the stone surface, and makes her way over to Jack. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Claire, anything.” Jack says, his head tilting up slightly to lock eyes with Claire, who is standing close enough that she’s marginally taller than Jack sitting down.

Claire pulls Jack into a hug, wrapping her arms so tightly around him that her ribs ache, “I love you.”

Jack slowly loops his arms around Claire, resting his cheek against her shoulder, “I love you, too.”

She lets out a wet laugh, giving Jack one final squeeze before pulling away.

“Well,” A gruff voice says from the doorway. “Isn’t that just a sight for sore eyes.”

Claire whips her head around to find Dean lounging against the doorframe, his face soft with a bit of fondness in his eyes.

“Hello Dean,” Jack says, his face still twisted up in a goofy grin.

Dean stalks forward into the kitchen, quickly wrapping the two up in a warm embrace and pressing a kiss to the top of their heads. He pulls away just as quickly as he pulled them in, locking eyes with Claire and giving her a look that conveys all the words he can’t say out loud.

“Jack helped me get a bunch of Sammy’s baby pictures scanned onto a CD and I’m gonna put ‘em up on the TV for everyone, you don't wanna miss it.” Dean says, giving her a gentle pat on the back.

She laughs, “Sounds mortifying, I can’t wait to see Sam’s face.”

“C’mon,” He says, jerking his head toward the living room before turning and heading out the door.

Claire watches him and Jack disappear into the other room, smiling to herself as she snatches up her beer and heads into the chaos. Cas, Kaia, and Eileen are still deep in conversation. Jody and Donna are whispering quietly to each other on the other side of the room. Rowena, Patience, and Alex are pressed together on the couch, a martini glass dangling from Rowena’s hand as she gestures wildly, obviously recounting an insane tale as the other women listen with rapt attention.

She slides in next to Sam, who is leaning against the stairway railing, eyeing Jack and Dean with suspicion as they fiddle with the disc player next to the TV.

“This is a great house, Sammy.”

Sam looks down at her, smiling slightly, “It’s not bad, but it’s the people who really make it home.”

Claire returns his smile, then turns back to the scene in front of her; all her favorite people, the people she loves most in the world, gathered in one room.

Dean always says, family don’t end with blood, something his own stand-in father, Bobby, used to tell him. Claire never met Bobby, but she thinks he might have been onto something.

#spnwomenweek #they are a big family!!! #writing in claire’s pov is new to me so i hope i did her justice #claire novak #spn #supernatural

[the-rad-pineapple]

it was raining outside

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Supernatural oneshot: Something is bothering Dean, and Castiel is determined to find out what it is.

Words: 1682

This is my first Destiel story, but it sat in the drafts forever, because I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I edited it a bit tonight and decided to post it. Thanks for reading.

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ao3

fanfiction

wattpad

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It was raining outside when Dean pulled into the small gas station. It was a slight drizzle, just enough to make everything gray and wet. The gas station lights reflected on the pavement. Dean and Sam had gone up against a family of witches. The witches had captured Dean and put him in some sort of dream state. All Castiel knew was Sam had been working for three days to find him. After Dean dropped Sam off at their hotel to sleep, Dean had called Castiel. Castiel wasn’t sure why. Dean didn’t say much besides a brief summary on what had happened. He assumed Dean would explain at some point. Dean got out of the car to fill up the gas. Castiel followed. Dean was being quiet, and it worried him. He stood next to Dean as he filled up the car. The gas quietly filled up, the rain pattered peacefully on the roof over the gas station, and the gas station radio played softly, nearly inaudible. It was a light, slow song. Castiel liked it. He glanced at Dean. “Would you like me to purchase some food for you?” Castiel offered. “No. I’m fine.” Dean didn’t even look at him. Castiel frowned. Now he didn’t want food? “Dean, what’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “Why did you call for me?” “I just wanted to... I felt... Never mind. You can go if you want.” Dean didn’t look at him. His shoulders were tense as he watched the Impala fill with gas.

Something was definitely wrong. But Castiel didn’t know what it was, or what to say to help Dean. So he just stood there. Uselessly. And watched Dean as rain pattered on the overhang above them, the soft music drifted between them. The gas finished filling up, and Dean took the fuel pump and replaced it.

Castiel couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Dean’s arm. “Dean.”

Dean looked away. Were there tears in his eyes?

Castiel took a step closer. “You’re scaring me.” Dean still wouldn’t look at him. “I can’t help if you don’t talk to me,” Castiel tried again. He attempted to make his tone soft and light. He wanted Dean to feel safe, like he could talk to him. Dean looked up. “The spell the witches put me under.” He swallowed and backed up. He went to the rear of the car and put the cap back on the fuel tank. Castiel followed. “What did they do?” Castiel asked. “It was like being in a djinn dream,” Dean explained. He finally looked at Cas. “But it was the opposite. It was like everything was wrong.” Dean looked away again and continued, “Sam was stuck suffering in the Cage, but I could feel it somehow. It’s like I knew what was happening to him.” “I’m sorry, Dean. That sounds terrible.” It was all Castiel could think of to say. “But that’s not what bothered me. I mean, I’m used to torture like that, seeing the people I love in pain. But you... You were happy.” Castiel blinked in surprise. “And that upset you?” Dean looked away again. He chewed on his lip as if deciding whether to continue or not. He eventually did. “It was because you were happy without me.” He swallowed and still refused to look at Castiel. “You were with someone else, and they made you happier than I’ve ever seen you.” “What do you mean? I was friends with another hunter?” Dean looked pointedly at Castiel. “No, Cas. You were with someone. Romantically.” “Oh.” Castiel knew he was missing something big, but he didn’t know what. But that was beside the point. All that mattered was why this all upset Dean. “I still don’t understand why that made you so upset. Was I still your friend?” “Yeah, but...” “But?” “It’s not the same.” “Dean, you’re not making sense.” Dean shifted on his feet, and put his hands on his hips. His eyes fell on Castiel. “It’s because I like you, Cas. And someone else got to you first.” His eyes momentarily flicked down to their feet before he continued, “And they made you happier than I can.” “‘Got to me first’? What are you saying?” Castiel was confused. He knew Dean was saying something to him. He also knew this was important to Dean since he seemed set on being cryptic about it. Dean was never up front about emotions that intimidated him. Dean shook his head. “Nothing.” It was quiet, and Dean looked away again before brushing past Castiel and walking up to the front of the car and getting inside. Castiel followed and got in the passenger side.

At first, Castiel thought the rest of the drive would be in silence. Dean was still clearly upset, but then the hunter said, “I just called you, because I needed to see you.” He started the Impala. “That’s all.” His tone was final, and Castiel felt as if the moment for him to understand Dean’s true meaning was passing. “Ok.” Castiel looked at Dean. But he wasn’t about to let this go. “I didn’t help. You still seem upset.” Dean looked over and gave him a strained smile. “No. You helped a lot.” He didn’t say anything else. He turned on the music, and set it to a low volume. The conversation was over. Castiel glanced at Dean once more. He looked fine, which meant he wasn’t. It was one of the many masks Dean wore to cover how he felt. But Castiel had missed his chance to really understand what Dean needed, but he apparently had helped in some capacity. Why were human emotions so confusing? Why was Dean Winchester so confusing?

Castiel turned to look out the window. It was still raining, but it was a little harder now. Castiel frowned as he kept replaying Dean’s words in his head. He was determined to uncover what Dean had been trying to say. This sort of thing happened all the time, and he hated it. Especially now since it seemed to be upsetting Dean more than usual. “It’s because I like you, Cas. And someone else got to you first.” Castiel turned to Dean. Dean didn’t mean...

Castiel figured out a long time ago the way he felt for Dean wasn’t plutonic. He also knew Dean didn’t feel the same way, so he never said anything. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship. He’d take what he could get. But now... Castiel opened his mouth to say something when Dean parked the car in the motel parking lot and said,

“You can stay if you want. But I think Sam’s still asleep.” Dean turned to Castiel and paused. “What?” “I didn’t say anything.” “Yeah, but you’re looking at me weird.” “What did you mean earlier?” “When?” “When you were talking about being under the witches’ spell. Why were you so upset about me?” Castiel didn’t want to say anything in case he was wrong. He had a habit of misjudging social situations, and this was something he couldn’t afford to get wrong. But he could already feel the bright rush of hope swelling within his vessel’s chest. He did his best to tamper it down. “Nothing,” Dean answered. “I don’t know what I was saying.” “Dean, please.” “I said it was nothing.” Dean yanked the keys out of the car opened the door and left.

Castiel raced after him. He was not letting this go. Not now. He had to know how Dean felt. The hopeful feeling was dangerously become more desperate. Castiel caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder. Dean stopped to look at him. “I like you, too,” Castiel said. Dean sighed. “Cas, I didn’t mean in a friendship way.” “Me either.” That caught Dean’s attention. “I’ve always liked you, Dean. I never said anything, because I knew you wouldn’t feel the same.” Dean studied Castiel for a long moment. His eyes were fierce, but there was something vulnerable behind them. “How long?” the hunter finally asked.

Castiel frowned. “How long what?”

“How long have you, you know, liked me?” Castiel looked at the ground. He could feel his embarrassment spreading up into his face before he even answered. “Almost as long as I’ve known you.” “Dammit, Cas, you should’ve said something!” “Why?” “So we could have done this sooner.” Before Castiel could ask Dean what he meant, Dean was kissing him. It was better than he thought it would be. It was a lot more exciting, especially when Dean ran his hands through Castiel’s hair. He didn’t know he could feel anything like this. His heart was pounding, and he never wanted to forget what Dean tasted like. Dean pulled away, so he could breathe. They stared at each other. “God, you’re beautiful,” Dean said breathlessly. Castiel felt his cheeks burn. “Hey, guys!” a familiar voice sounded. Sam bounded down the stairs towards them. He paused. He looked between them. Dean and Castiel realized how close they still were to each other. Dean cleared his throat and took a step back. “Hey, Sammy.” Sam laughed. “You two were killing me. It was about time.” “What?” Castiel asked. “You knew?” Dean asked. “How could I not know? Do you know the looks you’d give each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking?” They both fell silent. Sam grinned. “I just needed the keys for a coffee run. You want anything?” Castiel shook his head. “No, I’m fine.” Dean handed the keys to Sam, avoiding eye contact, his cheeks red from embarrassment. Sam took the keys and gave them a teasing smile. “Just don’t use my bed when I’m gone.” “You’re hilarious,” Dean said flatly. Sam chuckled as he walked to the car. “I can’t believe he knew this whole time,” Dean muttered. “Maybe we were more obvious than we thought,” Castiel commented as Sam drove away. “Not to each other apparently.” “At lease we’re here now.” Dean’s gaze softened as he looked at Castiel. “Yeah.” He held out his hand. Castiel took it. “Want to make up for lost time?” The angel blushed.

#dean winchester #castiel #destiel #first kiss #spn #supernatural #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #supernatural fanficiton

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Just a scenario involving Yan TFW 1.0 family and an escape reader I come up with when discuss with a friend on tumblr and i improved on it:

Background setting (After being taken to the bunker as their valued family to protect, and stuck there for a few months, reader convinced Sam to take her out then drugged him and escaped, and is currently drinking alone in a bar in a small town, thinking she is safe)

Someone sit in the bar seat nearby asked: hi there, sweetie, what are you doing all alone out here? Running away from home?

Reader: no, this is not a runaway, it is more like an escaped from two serial killer body burning fake identity credit card fraud psychos that are stuck in the 70s with one of them thinks all music from 79 onwards sucks, well he sucks by busting the five albums in the car over and over again and calling Adele’s song melodramatic crap! He is such an egoistic, self arrogant... turn around and saw the figure is dean and become sober all of a sudden.

Dean: go on, tell me more about your little grunt.

Reader: 😅well, I think... your taste of music is very good, I especially like the one song you played, it is called... stairway to hell (moving away from him slowly)

Dean (block her way quietly): stairway to heaven, y/n. It is called stairway to heaven

Reader: ha, heaven are made of a bunch of dicks anyway so it is no much better than hell.

Cas suddenly appeared in front of her: hi y/n.

Reader: aaaahhh, stop jump-scaring people Cas!

Reader: please tell me Sam is not here...

Sam look at her with sad and confused puppy eyes from a distance.

Reader: I don’t exist guys, what you saw are all illusions because you drank too way much

Reader: damn it, help. ANYBODY HELPS ME!

Dean quickly pull out his FBI badget: FBI, everybody out! we are here to arrest the suspect for a case, which is this young lady over here, so miss y/n we can do it the easy way or hard way.

Reader:look if you are policy role play so much you should sign up for a fan club or something don’t disturb the public for your fantasies!

Reader: (sawing dean slowly pull out a pair of handcuff) oh god you are serious, wait a sec, it is illegal to pretend to be....

Dean: first time knowing us?

Reader (murmuring): right, between serial killing and corpse burning suddenly pretending to be law enforcement seems like child’s play right now. (Sudden realisation) come on, those who buy in this fake fbi shit must be dumbasses.

Last few citizens begins to leave the bar.

Reader (dumbfounded): wow, this generation of Americans is just so.... awesome

Dean smirks because he said this word a lot.

Reader: you don’t own this words Dean! Get rid of the ugly grin before I... (look around and begin running though the back door) prepare myself before I finally kicked your dumbass ass.

Reader (nowhere to go but she managed to hide a gun at her back): leave now, I don’t want to hurt you but I will if I have to...

Dean chuckles: I am afraid not sweetheart, really y/n? Sam and I have being up against supernatural creatures, and you think you can take on us?

Sam: dean, not helping. Let me talk to her. Turning to reader: Y/n, I know you are upset, but we can sort everything out, I am not angry at you, just want to help....

Reader: Well, if I cannot teach a Stanford high achieving future would be lawyer the definition of freedom and why imprisonment is a horrific thing to do, then I think there is nothing left to talk about

Dean glared at Sam then back at reader: Don’t test my patience, y/n. Then he saw the gun pointing at him. Wow, this conversation does not require a weapon discharge!

Reader: I am not going with you, at least not without a fight and we all know you would never hurt me.

Cas: suddenly appears behind her. There is no need for that (one touch and it rendered her unconsciousness instantly)

Round 1 of reader’s escape journey: failure, lasted duration: less than 1week, chances of another escape:minimum, better luck next time.

Yikes😬! Poor Reader! Just goes to show that getting away from Team Free Will is highly unlikely.

#anxious answers

[imaginestuffs]

I messed up- Castiel x Reader

gif isn’t mine so props to whoever created it!!

words:1543

summary: The reader messed up on a hunt and doesn’t know what will happen when she goes back to the bunker. 

warnings: cursing I’m pretty sure that’s it! if there is anything else let me know please!

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You had messed up on a hunt, you messed up real bad. You let the wraith get away. While you were out cold on the floor, broken ribs and a gash in your leg it got away. 

When you woke up, it was gone and you tried your best to go after it but it was nowhere to be found. As you limped your way back to your car. You slammed your fist into the wall and shouted in frustration. You knew going back to the bunker would get you scolded. You weren't exactly scared, you just couldn't stand to see the shame and disappointment on their faces. On Cas' face.

You decided to get a room for the night at some dingy motel on the edge of town. 

You got there and slowly began to patch yourself up. You knew you could've called Cas but you didn't want him to see you even though you were longing to see him. 

You clenched your jaw as you began to stitch up your leg. When you were done you got into the shower with slight difficulty. You let the water rinse of the day, all the blood and the sweat. You sighed in relief at the feeling of the warm water. 

You got out of the shower and changed into comfortable clothes. You got under the covers and shut your eyes. You began to toss and turn your mind racing with thoughts of how they would react. 

You shot up, and got out of the bed. Packing your things up and throwing a jacket on. You couldn't stand the fact of having to wait until the next day to get all of this over with.  "May as well, get this shit over with now. Why wait when you could get cursed out now." You spoke to yourself. 

You settled everything and got in your car, peeling out of the parking lot. Your music was on low, as you began to think even more. "Would they wanna kick me out? Would they be ashamed of me?" You continued to think and think of the worst. 

Soon enough you pulled up to the bunker and got out. Gathering your things, and trudging inside. As you opened the door and heard voices and footsteps coming closer. 

You took a deep breath before descending the stairs. 

You reached the bottom. "Hey (y/n)! How'd it go?" Dean questioned excitedly. He pulled you into a hug. 

You winced and gave out a small hiss of pain. He pulled away and his brows furrowed in concern. "Alright how bad is it?" Sam asked while walking towards. 

"Just a few cracked ribs and a gash on my leg. I took care of it though, just as I always do." You stated. You didn't want to say much because they would know you were nervous. 

You heard a whoosh and turned around to see Castiel behind you. You smiled at him before carefully hugging him, not as tight as usual because of your ribs and how nervous you were. 

He looked down at you confused. His puppy dog eyes squinted in concern. 

"(Y/n), something happened. What is it?" He questioned. His hand rested on your shoulder, you smiled at him. "Umm... yeah you guys something did happen." You took a shaky breath, ready to explain to them your mistake. 

"What happened?" You heard a new voice add to the conversation. 

You walked away from them to stand by yourself. They all looked at you with worry.

"I um-I-It, the wraith.. it got away." You said shamefully. 

Sam and Dean look at you. Dean's face was hard and Sam's worry dropped and was replaced with shock. Cas just stared at you and his eyes seemed upset. 

"You let it get away?" Dean's gruff voice resounded. Your eyes dart from Cas to him. 

"Dean I-" "No, don't give me that crap. 'I didn't mean to. I couldn't get it. I tried.' " Dean mocked you. 

"Dean. Don't." Castiel spoke up and gave him a glare that could kill. "No, Cas. You know what, yell at me all you want, kick me out for fucks sake. Be ashamed of me. I was leading out on the floor, unconscious. When I woke up I was weak, but you know what. I got up, and I tried to follow it but it was gone Dean. It was gone. I'm sorry I fucked up." You huffed trying to catch your breath after practically yelling at them. Dean looked at you still with his jaw locked. Sam's expression is the same as Jack's shocked. Castiel looked at you sternly.

"You said you could handle it. You said you didn't need our help. It was just one wraith, but I guess you can't take even one on by yourself. Don't do that again." He said before pushing past you. 

You stumbled back and hit the railing of the staircase. You winced. 

Sam walked toward you and you shut your eyes tight, not ready to be chewed out again. "Hey.. (y/n).. it's ok.. we all mess up sometimes.. know, I'm upset, ok.. I am but not that it got away. I'm upset that you got hurt." His voice gingerly reached your ears. You nodded strongly and he kissed your forehead. 

"Please don't be scared (y/n), I'm not upset with you, I'm so glad you're home." Jack said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

You gave a tight lipped smile and nodded. 

You closed your eyes and sighed ready to cry. 

"Why didn't you call for me?" You heard your boyfriend's voice ring out. 

"I didn't-I didn't want you to think I couldn't do it." You said wearily.  "Open your eyes. Look at me." Cas demanded softly. 

You hesitantly opened your (e/c) eyes, and looked up at him. 

"It's ok to need help. I'm here to help you." He said gripping your hands. "Now. When you woke up.. you were hurt.. I could've healed you." His voice was soft. 

"I didn't want you to see me like that.. I didn't want you to be ashamed of me." You mumbled. "I would never be ashamed. We all make mistakes. Would you be ashamed of me if I let a vampire get away? Or forget your favorite snack from the store?" He asked.

You chuckled softly at his last words. "Of course not Cas, I could never be. I'll always be proud of you, I could never be ashamed." You stated before taking your hand and placing it on his face. 

"Exactly (y/n), now why would you think I'd be ashamed? I'm just sorry I wasn't there. Now come here let me help you." He said and pulled you close placing his fingers against your forehead softly. 

In a few seconds your wounds were gone and you were ok. You rested your head on Cas' chest holding onto him tightly. 

"I love you Castiel. Thank you." You said your voice slightly muffled by his chest. 

"I love you too." He said before lifting your face and placing his lips on yours. Your sighed into his lips and pulled him closer. He broke away and kissed your head. 

"Let's go to bed ok.." he suggested and you nodded. 

You heard footsteps behind you, and turned around. Dean stood behind you, and your heart beat sped up. 

"Dean, if you're here to chew me out, just don't. I'm done with this." You sighed. 

"No, (y/n) I'm-I'm sorry.. ok I just was worried. I know I didn't handle it correctly, I wan-" he didn't get to finish. 

"Dean stop." Cas spoke. 

"Cas, let him talk." You said placing a hand on his arm." "I'm sorry (y/n), i know you can handle yourself. It wasn't your fault. I'm proud of you and I would never kick you out ever. I love ya kid." He said his voice was sincere. 

You smiled at him before running towards him. Tossing your arms around him. "I love you too Dean, thank you. For everything." You whispered. He hugged you back. "Alright, goodnight. I'll see ya tomorrow." He said before letting you go and walking in the opposite direction. 

You walked back over to Castiel and looked up at him. "I'm ok Cas. We're fine now." You reassured him. He nodded stiffly, you brought his lips down to yours and kissed him compassionately. 

"Let's go to bed. Huh?" You questioned sweetly. "Of course." He said grabbing your waist, before suddenly being in your room. "We just had to walk through the door babe." You said and chuckled. "It was quicker this way." He stated. He pulled your jacket from your body. You still had your pajamas on from when you left the motel so you didn't have to change seeing as the drive was only an hour long. He picked you up and placed you on the bed before stripping himself of his trench coat and jacket. Getting in beside you. 

"I'm proud of you." He kisses your head and pulls you towards him. You leaned up once to kiss him and then buried your face in his neck. Your breathing evened out and you fell asleep. Castiel staying by your side through the night. 

#castiel #castiel x #castiel x reader #castiel imagine #cas x y/n #cas x you #x reader #supernatural x reader #spn fanfiction #cas imagines #supernatural imagine #supernatural fandom #spn x you #spn x y/n #spn x reader #castiel imagines #Misha Collins #castiel fanfiction #is this angst? #cute castiel #castiel reader insert

[deansmom]

ao3 link

Dean finds him in the bunker.

Sam is with Eileen, doing something Dean doesn’t want to know about - maybe making little Sam’s or something.

He’s exhausted when he gets home. He barely has the wherewithal to take off his dirty boots at the garage door.

His shoulders ache and his neck cracks as he rubs it, a small groan escaping his lips. He hasn’t stopped smiling.

Dean hears the air kick on, the old vents in the bunker shaking with the effort to warm the place up, just as he opens his bedroom door.

And he’s just... there.

He’d wondered the whole drive home if Jack had done it. If Jack had managed to really bring everyone back.

And there he is. Castiel is just standing there in his suit, trench coat thrown across the bed. Looking the same as he did before the Empty took him.

He looks nervous. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d say that Cas looks terrified.

And fuck, Dean knows he’s not good at this, but -

“Did you know?” Dean drops his bag next to the dresser, his eyes never leaving Cas.

Castiel’s face contorts slightly, confused that this is what he chose for his opening line.

“I...”

He squints, and Dean is suddenly reminded that while Cas will never admit it, Dean thinks he needs glasses. It makes him smile despite how nervous he is now.

“Did I know what, Dean?”

Here he was, thinking there was a giant neon sign on his forehead, making him look like an idiot all these years. All these years that Dean’s just been working on the assumption that Cas couldn’t actually, y’know, fall in love with anyone, and worrying that everyone knew and he just -

Castiel really didn’t know.

Dean takes a step forward and reaches out to grab Cas’s hand, but thinks better of it. He should probably focus if he’s actually going to try to say something.

“I, um,” he shifts uncomfortably, a hand coming up to rub his neck again. “I’m not - I’m not good at this, Cas, ok? So like...” Dean licks his lips, nervously glancing at him, “Just, let me get this out.”

Castiel’s face has softened, but he clearly doesn’t know what Dean’s about to say and he’s not sure if the ache in his chest means he wants to cry or laugh about it.

“I...”

Dean has to look away for a moment. It’s embarrassing as hell, but sometimes it feels like Cas can see all the way into his soul (he probably can). Nobody knows him as well as Castiel does, and nobody in all his 40-something years on this earth can make him feel as vulnerable. Having that connection with someone means more to Dean than he’ll ever admit, he knows that, but still… it makes it hard to think.

“Look, I, uh, I really thought you knew...” he laughs a little bit, smiling to himself. “I mean hell, every fucking angel and demon never shut up about it to me, anyways.”

Dean takes a beat before going over to his bed abruptly, feeling antsy with it.

Maybe if he keeps moving, maybe if he makes himself a moving target Castiel won’t be able to see how fucking scared he is.

The thought makes Dean literally stop in his tracks because it’s the first time he’s admitted that, even to himself. He drops down onto his bed with the weight of the realization, and it’s all Dean can do not to laugh at himself. He’s scared.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

It comes out as more of a whisper than anything, and Dean sighs, his eyes never leaving Castiel’s feet.

“I don’t know, I just... I kinda always thought it would be me, y’know?” He finally looks up and catches Cas’s eye, smiling. “Last ditch, last night on earth thing. It’s my best line.”

Castiel huffs, slowly walking over to sit on the bed with Dean.

“I guess I just...” Dean keeps his eyes on their feet, hoping he doesn’t chicken out.

“I thought you knew... and I guess I thought that you just...” He shrugs, feeling dumb saying it now, “I don’t know. Didn’t love me or whatever.”

Castiel sets a hand on Dean’s thigh and almost all of the tension drains out of his body.

It’s kind of embarrassing how easily Cas can play him. Pluck all the right strings, strum all the right chords, and make Dean putty in his hands.

For years, he’s wondered if Cas knows, if he does it on purpose – the looks he gives Dean sometimes, the carefully placed hands when he’s upset, the way he heals him even. There’s a part of him that thinks Castiel isn’t doing it on purpose, and then sometimes he gives him this look and it’s just…

Castiel interrupts his train of thought with a sigh, “Dean...”

He looks up without meaning to and almost chokes on all the emotions he’s trying to sort through when he sees the look on Castiel’s face.

“I suppose we both were...” Castiel is so earnest and it drives Dean insane.

“Idiots.”

Dean let’s out a loud bark of a laugh, his forehead falling onto Castiel's shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess we were.”

An arm wraps itself around Dean’s back, half a second before he feels Castiel kiss his head.

“I’m sorry I never said anything,” Dean mumbles.

His fingers have grabbed Castiel’s tie and he’s fidgeting with it, trying to keep himself busy so he doesn’t do something stupid.

It’s been omnipresent for years now. An immutable truth that Dean’s been running from for years, because, well...

Castiel has ruined him.

If he left and never came back, Dean wouldn’t survive it.

Sure, he’d try to keep going, if only because he knows that anything else would just hurt him. And he’s so tired, so fucking tired, of hurting Cas.  

He thinks about that for a moment before moving so he can meet Castiel’s eyes, “Hey...”

Dean sets a hand on his cheek without thinking about it. Castiel’s arm falls so his hand is resting on Dean’s hip instead of his arm.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Castiel huffs, amused. “If I had, would it have been received well?”

Dean thinks about it for a minute, his thumb absently running over the lines on Castiel’s face.

He’s had his mojo back for a while, but this isn’t a vessel anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time. And at some point, over the last couple years, Castiel started looking Dean’s age.

It’s a good look on him.

“Cas,” he starts, his hand settling on the back of his angel’s head. “You remember what Hester said?”

Dean does. He remembers it vividly. Between that and the Mark, he’s had a hell of a time the last decade trying not to drown with the guilt of bringing everyone he loves down.

Castiel hums, the hand on Dean’s hip rubbing absentmindedly, “Vaguely.”

He hadn’t been himself back then. That Cas had scared the shit out of Dean.

“She said that the very touch of me corrupts...”

His voice is quiet, damn near soft even.

“That when you laid a hand on me in Hell or whatever...” Dean sighs, “You were lost.”

The hand that’s been playing with Castiel’s tie comes up to rest, open palmed, on his chest. Feeling his chest move out of nothing more than habit, nothing more than something Cas does to make Dean feel comfortable, grounds him.

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you,” he admits after a moment. “Over the years I’ve tried to pinpoint a moment -“ Dean chuckles, “The moment, I guess... when it happened.”

He’s smiling now, even though he’s terrified.

He has nothing to be scared of, he knows that now. But Dean’s never been good at this stuff - the feelings stuff. Vulnerability.

He’s spent his whole life trying not to get hurt out there fighting monsters. Dean still hasn’t figured out how to differentiate a broken heart from a mortal wound - they feel the same.

“For a while I thought,” Dean starts, stopping himself after a beat.

Castiel leans forward, his forehead coming to rest against Dean’s.

“For a long time, I thought it was that moment in Chuck’s kitchen...” He sighs, closing his eyes after a moment, “When you threw everything away. For me.”

“I did it because it was the right thing to do,” Castiel reminds him quietly.

Dean huffs, a couple tears spilling out, “Yeah, yeah I know.”

They’ve had this fight before. That Castiel has always been in control of his destiny, of his choices and Dean wasn’t to feel responsible for any of them. It wasn’t his fault. Castiel made all of his choices that Dean felt guilty for, all on his own. And he’d make those choices all over again, if presented the opportunity.

He sniffs, laughing when he feels one of Castiel’s hands wipe the tears away, “But, Cas, you... you had me.”

Dean opens his eyes up so he can look at Cas.

He’s crying too and Dean finds himself laughing again, both of his hands coming up to Castiel’s face. He wipes the tears away as they fall, his chest aching with how much he loves him.

“I think I was lost too,” Dean admits. “I think I’ve been in love with you this whole time. From the moment you touched me in hell, I think-“

Dean clears his throat, trying to collect himself.

“Damn it.” He tries to laugh but it comes out more like a sob, “I really didn’t want to cry.”

At that, Castiel actually laughs and he’s got that big, gummy smile on his face. The one that makes Dean feel like he’s a kid again and his first crush laughed at his joke. Makes Dean feel like he accomplished something.

“It’s okay,” Cas promises him. He looks like he wants to say more but he can’t come up with anything except, “It’s okay.”

Dean shakes his head, all the feelings he’s been trying to ignore for the last twelve years washing over him at once, “‘S not ok.”

He never imagined telling Cas any of this where he wasn’t dying. He never let himself imagine that Cas felt the same way. He never believed that this - it might turn out ok for Dean.

Castiel pulls Dean into a full body hug, pressing kisses all over his head when Dean hides his face in his neck.

“I love you so much you stubborn, infuriating man,” Cas says in between kisses.

It startles a laugh out of Dean and he tightens his arms around Cas.

Castiel uses his strength to move them so they’re laying together on Dean’s bed. The bed isn’t quite big enough for the two of them to fit comfortably, but Cas makes a good pillow.

Stupidly, in between the hiccuped sobs Dean can’t seem to stop, it occurs to him that he’s going to need a bigger bed.

What a bizarrely wonderful thought.

Castiel rubs his back through it, mumbling in enochian periodically. Dean’s not sure if he’s talking to himself or Dean but he doesn’t really care.

Cas is here. And he loves Dean.

After a little while Dean sniffs, his grip on Cas loosening. He hadn’t realized how tired he was.

The hand that had been running through his hair stills momentarily, “Go to sleep, Dean.”

He wants to, but he lifts his head up enough to look at Cas first. He’s definitely getting soft in his old age, because Cas smiles like he knows what Dean’s thinking before he gets to say it.

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean,” he promises. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Dean does.

  When he wakes up, he has no idea how long it’s been.

His neck aches from the weird angle and his face feels a little sticky from the tears and the drool (gross). Above him, Castiel is snoring quietly, his face soft.

Dean’s heart jumps at the sight.

Dean rolls over so he’s completely on top of Cas, groaning with the effort.

Jesus, he’s too old to be sharing beds like this.

For all the weight that’s shifted onto him suddenly, Castiel doesn’t even stir a little bit.

That’s okay.

Dean gave Cas a lot of shit for it over the years, but it just felt weird. Cas could see him in his most vulnerable state and, well... angels didn’t sleep.

Cas did in purgatory. Dean would watch him sometimes when he couldn’t turn his brain off.

He’s beautiful when he sleeps.

He doesn’t need to sleep, hasn’t since he was human, but Cas enjoys it. He admitted to Dean once after a couple drinks that it was the only time, he truly experienced silence... peace.

‘Heaven is peaceful, in a sense,’ he’d admitted, his eyes on the melting ice in his glass. ‘But it’s so loud, Dean. That much love and grief in one place, it’s... deafening.’

Castiel had said that Dean was the most caring human on earth. Dean wonders if he knows how much that isn’t true.

He knows that he cares too much, too deeply, it’s something he’s hated for years. Can’t separate himself from the job, can’t help but feel the heartbreak of people they meet on cases, to carry their grief with him.

But Castiel has the biggest, most forgiving heart Dean’s ever seen. Sometimes he’s jealous that Cas can feel so much, and not let it destroy him so completely. Not let it debilitate him.

He wonders if Castiel knows what a good person he is. Wonders if he knows how much he’s inspired Dean to be better, to be kinder, to not be so scared of feeling so much.

He presses a kiss to Castiel’s cheek without thinking about it.

“You scare the hell out of me, man,” Dean whispers, tracing a finger over Castiel’s shirt. “I thought I was going to end up like Bobby for the longest time... a grumpy old fuck with nobody but a dog I barely liked to come home to at night...”

He sighs quietly, snuggling close to Cas again, “That was the best-case scenario... I never really thought I’d make it this long. Thought I’d die in a fight, too young and too little time on this rock. Hunters don’t really retire, you know?”

The heat kicks on again, the old system clunking to life around them.

“And then you brought me back to life... y’know, that night in the barn, I was terrified. I thought I was gonna shit myself for a second there-“ Dean snorts a little, “Bobby too. But then...”

He smiles against Castiel’s neck, “Every time you showed up it felt like I couldn’t breathe, man. Made me feel like everything was off kilter. I should’ve been scared, but I wasn’t... I couldn’t stop thinking about you when you weren’t around.”

Dean hooks his ankle around Cas’s, “It wasn’t until after Zach sent me to that alternate universe that I figured out why... that us, that Cas and Dean, they were... I don’t know.”

They’d been a thing, clearly, but it had freaked Dean out how much they fought. How much that Dean hated what his Castiel did. How guilty both of them had felt watching him.

“When it clicked,” he sighs, his voice still quiet. “You got scary again. I didn’t want to do that to you - to break you like that. You deserved better than that.”

He doesn’t say that the realization of how much he was in love with Cas freaked him out because for the first time, maybe ever, Dean felt like he had something to lose. Before Cas, dying was scary but it was whatever. If he died saving someone, it would be worth it.

After Cas?

Dying meant that he wouldn’t get to see him smile anymore. He wouldn’t get to hear Castiel’s laugh, the real one that makes Dean feel like putty. He wouldn’t get to introduce him to all the wonderful things about the world, about being human. Loving Cas made everything feel like it had a purpose, like he had something to live for, something to fight for.

Knowing that somebody cared about him who wasn’t under some sort of obligation to care, it just… it was impossible to wrap his head around for the longest time. And then when he did, when he was able to accept that Castiel cared about him… if he let himself think about that too much he’d be paralyzed with it.  

Dean grew up thinking he’d be lucky to make it to 30.

And the idea of one person, forever, or even just a life beyond that - beyond hunting, beyond monsters, beyond what the universe had planned out for him - was terrifying.

Now, he’s here on the wrong side of 40, and the love of his life sleeping underneath him.

Not only that, but Chuck’s not god anymore. For the first time in his life, Dean’s got some honest to god free will.

Huh.

He wonders if Cas remembers that night after his date, when he was human, and what they’d talked about.

He wonders if Cas remembers the idea of a bed and breakfast for hunters.

Wonders if he remembers Dean trying to describe his dream without outright saying, ‘And you’d be there, with me.’ Because he didn’t deserve Castiel then, and he barely deserves him now, but at some point, Cas became just as important as Sam. Maybe more, in a different way.

This love that Dean feels for Castiel is big and loud and messy, and it always has been. Even in the quiet moments of grief, it’s always felt like a siren going off in his chest. It’s bigger than anything Dean’s ever felt before... and until the other day, he had no idea that Cas loved him too.

They’re both so stupid.

Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Castiel loves so fully, it’s absurd to Dean that he didn’t see it. He knows Cas better than he knows anyone, better than Sam even, and Dean was so distracted by his own love that he didn’t see it.

And maybe that’s the difference - Dean’s love is loud and, in your face, and suffocating. It’s so loud that sometimes Dean can’t even hear it over his own screaming over it.

But Castiel? His love is quiet and deliberate, private even, and so purposeful that if he doesn’t want you to know, you’ll miss it. He loves with every fiber of his being and he gives people he loves the ability to destroy him so easily that it scares Dean.

Well... they might have that one in common.

Castiel was it for Dean the second he laid hands on him in Hell.

Dean was it for Castiel when he saw such a bright, pure soul stay so vibrant and defiantly good in Hell.

As soon as the realization hits Dean all over again that this, this right here, is everything he’s always wanted and been too scared to admit -

Castiel kisses Dean’s ear, “I know, Dean. You don’t have to say it.”

Dean pushes himself up so his arms are framing Castiel’s head. He needs to look at him when he says it.

“I love you, Cas. So much it scares me.”

Castiel just smiles, understanding radiating off of him, “Me too.”

His arms give out after a minute, sending Dean down onto his angel (or maybe Dean feels like they’re too far apart now that they can do this).

Dean huffs, a bit petulant, “Stay.”

“Okay,” Castiel promises, his arms coming up to wrap around Dean.

“Forever,” he requests after a moment.

An indelicate snort escapes Cas, but he just presses a kiss to the crown of Dean’s head.

“Of course.”

#deancas text #deancas fix it #destiel text #deancas #mackenzie attempts fics #otp: cursed or not #personal #this is sappy I've been trying to write this for WEEKS NOW lmao

[fandomout]

Dean Winchester Imagine/Preference - After he left you stranded Part 2

Part 1 Dean Winchester Imagine/Preference- He leaves you stranded (Gender Neutral Reader)  

I don’t own this gif, but all I know is it’s from tenor.

This takes place a around season 5 and 6 just for reference as to some things said and Castiel makes appearance. Angst/Fluff.

“You fucking asshole! You fucking suck!” Although you felt a little better, you looked like a crazy person to the people passing. You covered your shoulders in hopes to lessen the bumps that textured your skin. You were lost in your thoughts when you collided into a body. You looked up to see, but you were barely able to make out their face. Tears were blurring your vision. You wiped one of your eyes, which gave you enough visibility to make out Castiel. You didn’t even bother wiping the tears and simply asked him, “What are you doing here? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“What I am doing here is that I heard your cries of distress. Also, I was wondering who you were referring to.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn't talking to god, or you, or some angel...just the world...Me and Dean got in a fight.”

“I did see a glance of that interaction, my apologies.”

”You didn’t mean to...Wait, you came because I was crying?”

”Yes. I was wondering what trouble there could be that would make you cry. Through most of our encounters, you’ve seemed very level headed and calm, so it had to be of importance...Well, I assumed.”

“Sorry to disappoint. It’s just relationship drama.”

“Disappointment doesn’t correlate to me and your situation. It wouldn't make sense.”

“I don’t mean it literally.”

“Ah.”

“I’m sorry. You came for nothing.”

“He left you here. Why?”

“Cleary, he doesn't care...enough...if at all.”

“But, you are in a relationship. Are you not? Why would he leave you here if he cared?”

“Hell if I know.”

“Anyway, it is not for nothing that I came. I can provide comfort.”

“I really don’t need it. There’s nothing you could say.”

“But, you need it.”

“There are more important things...you probably need to get back to your war, right?” He replied with a heavy sigh and the words, “I could use the break.”

“Let’s talk about you. It would make me feel better if you felt a little better.”

“How can I feel better?”

“Just tell me how you feel about the war. How’s the war going? I’m sure that’s a stupid question, but I thought it was better than not asking anything. I know we don’t pay enough attention to you on the personal level...I’m sorry we haven’t been able to help you. I’m sorry you have to kill your brothers and sisters…”

“Thank you...You are the only one whose expressed concern to me…It’s simply terrible at all times.” You put a hand on his shoulder and keep walking. ”So, where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

“I can take you back to where you were residing.” Castiel reaches forward to take your shoulder, but you move back from him before he gets the chance. He furrows his brows and tilts his head at you. A look of pure innocent confusion.

“No. I will tough it out. If he’s just gonna leave me here, I’m gonna make my own way. I refuse to be helped.” 

“Why?”

“For some dignity or pride with a hint of stupidity because it's cold and gonna be a long walk.” 

“I could take you to the motel, and you could call it your way. You are exercising your resource, i.e me.”

“No, Cas. I don’t want to take the easy route. He thinks he can control me and make me feel worse? Nope! I’m gonna get there on my own, and he can't say anything. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction. I walk for me and me only.”

“I do not understand. I do not understand your desire to take the difficult path.”

“Sometimes it’s...it’s worth it. The hard way has its moments. Plus, Cas, you shouldn't have to take me.”

“I want to.” A blast of light strikes before it starts pouring rain. You continue on your pace, unwavering. 

“Has your plan changed?!” Castiel yelled over how loud the rain was.

“Nope! Well-I think I’m just gonna walk all the way to the motel we were at! Get my things and get out of there!”

“That’s a bad plan!”

“Best one I’ve got! I only have $20 on me, and I left my stuff in Dean’s car!”

“You’re going to get sick!” He says, but it gets muffled by the sound of thunder. 

“What?!”

“I said you’ll get sick!”

“So be it! I’ll live!” 

“I should head back!” He looked regrettable because he doesn’t want to go. You give him the best smile you can muster and give him a hug along with the words, “Thank you for being here for me although unintentional!”

“I express my appreciation to you asking about me. Hope you have safe travels; however, unlikely I think it is right now!” You laugh a bit at his words. You weren't sure how to respond, but it didn't matter. You never got the chance to as he flew away. You feel a bit better having talked to Castiel. You're thankful for the rain sympathizing with you, and you think you’ve stopped crying. Determined, you walk all night until you get to the motel at about 6:30 am. You were lucky enough to find someone to check you in. With a very hoarse voice, you say, “Can I get the room key for 321 B? I lost mine.”

“I can't just let you in, lady.” He says firmly.

“You saw me come in with those two big guys.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You leave your hand out ready, but he continues to say, “Still...I can't just give it to you.” You reach forward frustrated and grab him by the collar. You take out the $20 from your pocket. 

“Listen, bud-You either take my $20 and give me the key, or I take the key, forcefully. Your choice.” He reaches for it desperately and hands it to you. You open the door, and you see both Sam and Dean still asleep. You quietly get your things, and you head back to the clerk. He moves to the wall, scared. You put money on the table. 

“Give me a room for one.” He taps uneasily, but does as you say quickly. 

“Thank you.” You go to your new room. Immediately, you head for the water and chug it down earnestly. You sneeze three times in a row and wipe your nose. You change your clothes into warmer attire, which ends in pj’s. You get over to the bed and cover yourself in the blankets. You feel some kind of warmth reach your body, but you can't help still feeling cold. You grab tissue next to yours and have to keep blowing mucus out of your body. 

“Gret.” You said nasally. “I’m fucking sick.” You shrug and close your eyes as your weak and tired body won’t allow anything else to happen.

No One’s POV

Dean wakes up to being shaken harshly. He pulls out his gun from under the pillow and says, “What?” His eyes meet Sam’s, and Sam asks, “Where’s Y/N?” Dean puts his gun down; After sitting up, he tries to respond before he cuts himself off and remembers everything from last night. “They’re somewhere...”, He says pursing his lips and starts putting his clothes back on. 

“Somewhere?”

“Yeah.” He says and puts on his boots.

“What happened?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Clearly, something happened because you won’t give me a straight answer. Where are they?”

“I don’t know.”

“What?!”

“We got in a fight...”

“And?!”

“And I...left them.” He said softly that Sam couldn’t hear.

“What?”

“I left them at the bar.” He said firmly.

“You’re such a dick! Fucking asshole! They're not here! Something could have happened to them!”

“I know! I know…” Dean stood up and looked around the room. His eyes landed on the couch where their bag should be. His mouth became very dry, and his heart panged. “Oh god…” He whispered. 

“What?” Sam asked as he looked in Dean’s direction. As Sam came to the same relaxation, he clenched his jaw, and said, “You really fucking suck!” Dean just walked over to his keys on the counter and headed out the door. Sam hurriedly got his jacket and followed after. “Where the hell are you going?”

“The bar.”

“I doubt they're there.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s not like they can stay there all night. It was raining last night too. They can't just sit outside the bar like they’re living there.”

“You don’t know. They could've stayed put.”

“They didn’t get fucking lost! And they’re not some child! You left them there! Left your s/o there!” Dean can only clench his jaw and start the car. As they arrive at the bar, they ask anyone around, but no one knows where they’d gone. Dean got back into Baby and he jerked the steering wheel angrily. “Dammit!...” He let out a breath. “Where would they go?”

“Somewhere to sleep?” Sam tells him with a shrug.

“How’s that work?”

“What do you mean?” Dean gestures to the back where their jacket was. Sam picks it up and looks inside of it to see their phones and wallet. “Great! Just great Dean! You left them without anything! There is no way of finding them.”

“Sam, can you shut the hell up?! I know I messed up! I know I'm the fucking asshole that left his s/o stranded in the rain! I’m fucking selfish!-” He stopped for a moment and his eyes became teary. He looked out the window for Sam not to see him, and in a weak voice said, “Something could have happened...” Dean held the steering wheel until is knuckles turned white. Sam looked at him sympathetically and said, “I’m glad you know. Look, Let’s head back to the motel.”

“What?! We can't just-”

“If you were upset enough to leave them, I know they're more upset. They didn’t try to contact me or anyone, so chances are they figured it out...I mean if nothing happened...They’ll probably be stubborn enough to get back on their own. The bar is far from the motel on foot, but they probably walked, D.” As Sam and Dean pull into the motel, Dean paces around in nervousness. Having done so for about 2 minutes, his eyes end up landing on the small frame of someone by the vending machine. He looked down to their shoes to see the wrecked combat boots he’d been seeing for the longest. He basically jogged up. Sam followed slowly in confusion. Dean’s eyes met their face, and he fully ran over to them. He scooped them in his arms. His arms wrapped over their waist. 

Your POV

Dean let out a shaky breath and smiled. With teary eyes, he reached to cup your face. You moved away from his touch and took yourself out of his embrace. 

“Y/N-”

“Sam, how are you this morning?!” You asked. You were not going to just let him off the hook. While he looked worried, you remembered how unimportant you seemed last night, so you ignored him. In your peripherals, you could see Dean licked his lips nervously. 

“Better. Now, that you're no longer missing. We-” Sam replied and was cut off by Dean saying, “Where the hell were you?!” You ignored his worry and responded, “Sam, you didn’t have to worry. I just got another room for myself this time around.”

“We went everywhere looking for you. Glad you're safe.”

“Than-Achoo!” You put your nose on your sleeve. Dean reached over in calmer composure to grab your arm and tell you, “Come on, red nose, we’ll get you better.” You pulled away from him. You looked toward Sam and said, “I’m gonna get myself something warm and sleep a bit more. I had a loooong night.” You couldn’t help being a little shit since you felt it was owed to you for the shitty night you had before. You padded Sam’s shoulder and told him, “I’m gonna head back to my room see you later.” before you left towards your room. With a heavy heart and footsteps, you were in the need to feel some kind of better since being sick didn’t help.  When you got into your room, you went into the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. “Oh. I do look terrible.” You turned on the showerhead and walked back into the main space only to see Dean. You gave him one more second until you averted your eyes and resumed ignorance of his existence. You were getting clothes when you heard the shower turn off. You rolled your eyes and were making your way back to the bathroom when Dean blocked your path. You sighed heavily and threw you clothes on the couch. You walked back over to your bed, curled into the blanket and tried to get back to sleep. You felt his eyes on you, but you refused to look at him. You felt the bed starting to dip, and you couldn’t help state, “Don’t.”

“We’ve got to talk…” He said delicately. You sat up and looked at him as he shifted nervously in a way that made you just want to go hug him. Instead, you stayed put and found the words, “Talk.” slipping past your lips.

Part 3  Dean Winchester Imagine/Preference - Making up after he left you stranded (Gender Neutral Reader) Part 3

Hope your day got better

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