i was tagged by @hyuck-xix to list the first 10 songs played from my spotify wrapped/apple replay when shuffled!
thank you so much for the tag!! i always have tons of fun diving into my fave music ^^
dead man running by seulgi — this whole album was something!!
3 wishes by lay — again, what an album! my fave of the album is actually i don't care and the chinese version of veil.
sappho by frankie cosmos
i'm gonna love you by d.o. & wonstein
telephone by exo-sc — when will we have another album of these two?? T.T
nothin by chanyeol — <3 <3 <3
stronger by exo — my most played song in 2022 xD
self-portrait by suho
ka-ching! by exo-cbx — one of my get happy songs
괴도 (danger) by taemin — i absolutely love this song; it's so cool!
i'll tag @starchild--27 @byuns-coco @xuoux @thedeviousdo @defloey @eccentric-ocean @xiuminscheeks @your-sophie18 @kafkascupcake @yeoldontknow @demon-glittter @fightoh @zyx @simplypearing @monwillica and anyone else who wants to do it!!
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have i told u guys abt how when i was in middle school my friends and i made what we called “supernatural headbandz” which was just a Giant stack of notecards with things from spn written on them (episode titles, character names, objects, locations, quotes, basically anything) and we would just go back and forth at lunch playing it.
one person draws a card and holds it to their forehead, everyone else tries to get them to guess what it says. we got so good at it that we had to impose a bunch of rules, like you couldn’t say who Said the quote, stuff like that.
it got to the point that we could get most of the answers within one or two words bc we had just memorized everything so we’d have to scour the show to think of new notecards to add in.
if anyone has ever doubted my supernatural cred this is my proof. this and the fact that i wrote a parody of la devotee by p!atd about supernatural
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give me your top 5 samcas recs pls bestie <333
Anything for you bestie <3
Fractured Mechanics by road_rhythm: So it's three a.m. and he's staring up at the ceiling, listening to Sam knife-fighting Cas outside apparently just for fun.
i'll believe you if it makes me feel something by iceberry and pippuri: Season 6 canon divergence. castiel realizes that sam's soul is gone right away. it's still too late.
Touch by hellsreluctantheir: The soulless Sam and Cas were fucking verse.
Grace (made perfect in weakness) by sidewoundcore (CherryHollow): After he is freed from the panic room, Castiel, rather than Ruby, is the one who finds Sam. In the end, it changes nothing at all.
Ceteris Paribus by Icanseenow: After Sam returns from hell, he's different and it's getting harder to keep things from Dean. He finds help in Castiel.
What We Could Have Been by Min Daae (Lise): The last day before the end of the world; on missed chances and second chances. (We all know I’m obsessed with Lise fics)
The Other Guardian by red_river: A multi-fic series with mild AU/canon divergence that focuses on Sam and Cas. I’ve never actually finished this series but I love what I have read.
(Yes this is more than 5 but it’s just because I’m such a good friend)
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Whumptober Day 31: Comfort
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7.
Sam’s back is broad and warm; she curls against it, tries imagining herself as a lizard stretching out on a sun-warmed rock. It’s not the way they usually sleep; she’s far more used to the reverse, Sam curled protectively around her, his back turned to the world and everything in it that might hurt her. It was a novelty, when they first were seeing each other; most of her lovers have been smaller than she was, and she was used to taking on the protective guarding-from-the-world role. Now…lizard-images aside, it feels awkward. Their usual relationship turned inside-out, their vulnerable underbelly exposed to the world—
Sam’s crying.
It’s silent, no sniffling to give him away. Just a bare trembling of the shoulders—enough that at first she wonders if he’s shivering. It’s only when he inhales, breath hitching, that she realizes the significance—realizes she’s never seen him cry, before. It makes her want to lash out at the world, makes her want to scream and thrash and rage at the awfulness, makes her want to shake somebody, demand that they take responsibility for the unfairness of it all—but there’s nobody. It’s nobody’s fault.
Nobody’s but hers.
“Sam,” she finally whispers, when the silence between them grows too great to bear. “Sam, I’m sorry.” It’s pathetic, it’s nothing, it’s a piece of Scotch tape applied to an open chest cavity. But it’s what she has.
For a long moment, she thinks Sam’s ignoring her, or maybe didn’t even hear. Then the words come, vicious, and what's worse, truthful:
"I'm not."
She catches her breath at the aggression in the words. "Do you think he's going to come back?"
"No. He has too much pride." The words are bitter. "Shame he couldn't have the same pride in me that he does in his work."
She squeezes his shoulder, reassuring. "Family is always complicated."
It's quiet again for a few minutes, as she rubs small circles between his shoulderblades. But then the words come, the despairing honesty of the small hours of the morning:
“I don’t know who I am, without him.”
She slips her arm around him, pulls him closer. Protecting as much as she knows how. “You’ll find out,” she says. “He was the one who left, this time. You’re free of him.” We’re free of him, she says firmly to herself, ignores the doubt skulking along the edges of the statement.
“It’s—not that easy.” Sam takes another stuttering breath, just a hint of a sniffle. “He made me who I am today. I can’t…just change that. He’s such a huge part of my life." A swallow. An admission. "Was.”
Jess closes her eyes a moment, puts her forehead against Sam's shoulder. "Did I ever tell you about my cousin Leah?"
"I didn't know you had a cousin."
"Her mother was a single mom, so they lived next door. My mother was always making these snippy remarks about her, about how she didn't have what it took to keep a husband, that kind of thing. Meanwhile my parents were constantly getting into screaming matches, when my father wasn't out sleeping around." She resists the urge to bite her tongue; this wasn't a story she ever wanted to tell.
"I didn't know." Sam's voice is quiet, but a little smoother. "I always thought rich people had no problems."
Jess doesn't even know how to answer that, is afraid she's going to lose her nerve if she loses her momentum, so she plunges onward. "We were inseparable. Her mother—my aunt—was really sweet, so I'd spend as much time over there as I could. She was bigger than me, so I'd make her promise to protect me, even though I never specified what from. And she'd promise. Because she was that kind of kid." She laughs a little, though a storm of tears is gathering in the back of her eyes, her throat. "We'd run around together for hours, sometimes whole days in the summer, building forts, jumping off of things, playing cats or princesses or pirates or dragons or who knows what. It's amazing we didn't get into worse trouble than scraped knees and occasional bruises."
"What happened?"
"I think my aunt got tired of listening to my mother's snipes. She got married and moved away. This was around the time I was twelve, maybe thirteen? Leah was fifteen. And at first she'd call, and write, but...all of that dropped off. I know, normal, right?" she continues, hurrying over where she feels Sam take a breath to comment. "But I'd never really had many other friends—never wanted to bring anybody home. So I was heartbroken over it. My best friend was gone, my safe place was gone.
"I ended up hearing about it through rumors at school. One of the former students had killed themselves—and when the police investigated, they found hard drives full of pictures of her. The really illegal kind." She shivers. "I just felt so...helpless. Her stepfather had been abusing her and I hadn't been able to do squat about it."
"Christ. I'm sorry." Sam turns onto his back, scoops her into his arms. "What did you do?"
"I screamed. And cried. And accused my parents of killing her. And had a real fit." She sighs, releasing the pent-up emotion. "And when I was done with that, I applied for Stanford."
"That's my Jess." His arms tighten around her, just a hair.
“I know it hurts. But graduation isn't far away. And you've got your big law school interview coming up, remember? We’ve got a future, Sam. Together.” Her fingers stroke through his hair, soothing. “I’m sorry Dean won’t be in it. But we’ll survive, and we’ll grow. Things will get better.”
Sam closes his eyes, nods, takes a few shaky breaths. “They have to.”
She pulls herself close to him, tucks her head under his chin. Relaxes as his arms wrap around her. “They have to.”
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It’s Summer Friday, which means it’s Day Two of the Valicer Granite Falls vacation! Which, as you can see, was cloudy as fuck. *shakehead* At least it wasn’t actually raining that day, which made it much easier to send them out and about, let me tell you. Allow me to take you through it --
-->First off, discovered that MC Command Center has options for turning off autonomous Mean interactions, AND random flirting (meaning Sims can only flirt autonomously if they already have some romance). Took advantage of both of THOSE options, let me tell you! No longer have to worry about my trio randomly insulting each other for no reason. :)
-->As for the actual day, the gang spent a nice morning in -- Alice made breakfast scramble after a nice nap under the new moon, and did some more scavenging for goodies and werewolf XP; Victor practiced Untamed magic and learned the Chillio spell (which can freeze Sims or -- more importantly for our purposes -- put out fires); and Smiler practiced programming and played on their laptop until it broke, at which point Victor was able to come to the rescue with his Repairio spell. (Especially since the game refused to let Smiler fix it on their own, for some reason. O.o)
-->I didn’t want them to hang around the cabin all day, though, so once they were all sorted, it was off to Granite Falls Forest and the -- well, I know the lot is a National Park, so I’ve been calling the building there the “ranger station.” *shrug* I had Smiler snap a pic of Victor and Alice for memory purposes (trying to get my Sims to take a few more pictures when they’re on trips like these), then sent them to the station to admire some of the insects on display there -- they decided to cloudgaze all on their own. (I imagine it was pretty easy.) Victor and Alice shared some nice chatter and a sweet embrace, then Alice went for a little jog while Victor hiked around, finding himself a few mosquitoes and termites to collect, along with an unidentified plant (that the game was nice enough to tell ME was “fireleaf”). All typical foresty stuff!
Typical foresty stuff that I appreciate is a bit hard to see because of the lousy weather. >.< But did it ever clear up, I hear you ask?
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