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jmagnabo92 · 2 years

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The Snape of It All

Traveling Back Universe - Harry has accidently traveled back in time and heals with his family and Sirius.

This snippet is James & Harry talking about SWM. (This story has not been posted anywhere).

***

After talking to his parents about the incidents with Snape, James realized that he needed to talk to Harry about what he saw. It wouldn’t be easy for either of them, and although Sirius told him that Harry had begun to see things differently regarding Snape, it didn’t change the fact that Snape’s behavior with Harry had been a direct response to his rivalry with James, and Harry deserved to know the full story.

Especially since it was clear that Harry wanted to know the story but was afraid to ask. So, after his healers’ appointments, James found Harry out on the swings in their yard. “Hey, kid,” James says, approaching slowly.

Harry smiles up at him, “Hey, dad.”

James smiles at the name, as weird as it was, he could tell it meant a lot to Harry to be able to use the word as a name for him. Given the way he grew up, it made sense, and although his parents told him that it was okay if he didn’t want to be called that, and that it was acceptable to talk to Harry about calling him James, he never considered it because frankly, he kind of liked it. Since he liked it and it seemed to make Harry’s day just to get to say it, he didn’t see any reason to take yet another thing away from him, and that meant getting used to the name.

“Enjoying the swings?”

Harry shrugs, “I suppose. I used to crave getting the chance to swing when I was younger, now, it just…” he trails off, and the little bit was enough to make him wish that he could go to Harry’s time and punish the Dursleys and Dumbledore for how Harry suffered, even just something little like swings had been taken from him thanks to those people. “What about you?”

“Swings are fun, but I …actually came out here to talk to you about something…”

“The memory?” Harry asks, clearly knowing that it would come up eventually. “It’s okay, dad, I know there’s more to the story…”

“And you deserve the full story,” James finishes for him. “You’ve been hurt because of my actions and my rivalry with Snape, and you deserve to know what all happened.”

“Snape’s a git, it doesn’t matter,” Harry deflects, shrugging. It was clear it did matter, but Harry wasn’t used to someone caring about his feelings, and as James had noticed, he deflects the question rather than answer truthfully.

“It mattered enough that you broke into Umbridge’s office just to get some clarity on the situation by talking to Sirius,” James refutes. “Clearly, it does matter to you, and you do deserve to know the truth.”

Harry sighs, “I do want to know, but I am a little worried that…”

“That it was like you and Dudley? He wasn’t my victim, Harry. It was a rivalry,” James states. It bothered him that Harry had seen one memory that made it look like he’d just been a big bully, but his actions in that memory had been atrocious, Snape’s comments hadn’t helped, and Harry deserved the full story. “I want to tell you the full story. It’s not exactly pretty, but it’s not exactly like it looked either.”

“Okay.”

James takes a deep breath and begins the story. “It all started on the train. We, that’s me and Sirius, started the train ride with your mum and Snape. They were friends, they grew up together, she admitted that despite being muggleborn, he’d told her that she was a witch when she was 8, saw her playing with a flower, magically. He always had a disdain for muggles, and on the train ride, your mum was crying because your aunt was her clearly normal despicable self, he was trying to cheer her up by telling her that Petunia didn’t matter because she was – is a muggle. Sirius and I were ignoring them like typical boys when Snape said something about Slytherin. I jokingly said that I’d leave if I was sorted into Slytherin to Sirius…”

“But wasn’t a Grandma a Slytherin?” Harry asks, interrupting.

James chuckles, because despite not asking the question of his grandmother knowing she was a Black immediately made Harry think she’d been Slytherin. Since he’d been afraid that they wouldn’t accept his nearly a Slytherin situation, James is happy to relieve him of those worries. “Why yes, she was. That’s why I said it was a joke. I didn’t mean it, but while Sirius took it as a joke, stating that his whole family were Slytherins and something about how maybe he’ll break tradition…”

“He definitely did,” Harry jokes.

“And then asked what house I wanted, Gryffindor like my dad where the brave dwell at heart, even pulled my fake sword –” Harry bursts out laughing at this “–What? Why are you laughing?”

“It’s nothing –” James gives him a look, as he continues to laugh. “–I just realized that I have a dorky dad.”

James snorts, smiles, and ruffles his hair, “Anyway, Snape then made a disparaging noise and comment about Gryffindors, and we argued a bit before they left. I didn’t care too much about him. It could’ve been the end of it, but he was upset to see us talking to Lily at the feast, she had warmed up a little bit since she was no longer crying. Unfortunately, Snape was upset about that. It started off small, he’d do something to us, like get us into detention, and we’d prank him back. We noticed that there was a connection to when he’d start something related to when he’d see me …even near your mum and when he’d start something. Since we had the same common room, classes, meals, we saw each other a lot and Snape didn’t like it. It didn’t really help that I was the top of the class, great at pretty much everything I did, everyone seemed to love me, think I was funny and charming, even as a kid. While Snape was deep into the death eater crowd right away. Although we didn’t know that’s what they were as the war had really only just started, but they were all …they didn’t think much of muggleborns, thought muggles were akin to animals, and were into dark magic. Even as a first year, he was…their little dark arts tester.”

James pauses, and takes a breath. “He did anything he could to egg at us, and Sirius was an easy target.” Especially after that horrible howler. “He also didn’t like that I was so good at potions just because my granddad was a potions prodigy and passed that on. He was jealous, I think. Kept challenging me to things and when I always won, would accuse me of cheating. We took turns doing things to each other, although Sirius and I got caught more than he did. It got worse as the years went on, he became obsessed with trying to get us kicked out of school and trying to out Remus once he figured out what he was. Eventually, he tricked Sirius into giving up some information regarding the Willow while I was away from him…”

“That’s when you saved him, but wait, Snape made it sound like…”

“Like Sirius tricked him down there and trapped him there until I came along? Yeah, that’s not what happened. When Sirius realized what Snape had done, he told me and I rescued him, but by then, he’d already seen Remus as a Werewolf. Dumbledore covered it up because he’d be thrown out of Hogwarts for allowing the situation and he knew that Snape had orchestrated everything to get what he wanted. He was told not to say anything, but it didn’t stop him from attacking each of us in different ways. That was mere weeks before that memory.”

He pauses, as he thinks about how angry he and Sirius had been over what Snape had done. Even though Remus wouldn’t listen to how Snape had tricked the truth out of Sirius, blaming Sirius, James and Sirius had gone on the offensive against Snape after that.

“We wanted him to pay for what happened, what he had tried to do, and at that point, the fact that he exists was enough of a reason because I couldn’t say the truth. I couldn’t tell a crowd full of people what he’d done, what he’d been trying to do for years, to me, to Sirius, to Remus, to Peter. The things we knew he tried to do to muggleborns, the things he and his buddies actually did to muggleborns and us. We’d had to use the map to save various muggleborns from the likes of him and his friends, but we had no proof, the victims of his and his friends attacks never had memories of who did what. There were more than a few times that one of our goblets had a mild poison in it. He invented that spell I used on him and others.” He sighs, “Still, we got carried away. Punishing him because we couldn’t get him caught for the things he was doing. Punishing him for following us around, trying to out and kill Remus. It was just the culmination of years of situations and – and that was it. After that, I already realized that things needed to change. Remus could’ve been executed, Sirius ran away to avoid being forced into being a death eater, and now, you…”

He looks down and away, “I’m ashamed that my actions hurt you so bad. I never thought much about what I was doing, it was tit for tat. A never-ending cycle. Snape was jealous, and I felt that I was defending my friends. I can’t honestly apologize for hurting Snape, not when I consider that he’s not exactly apologetic for hurting me or my friends, but I am sorry that my choices affected you so badly. If I could do it all over again, I would just ignore him.”

In a surprise turn of events, Harry reaches over and grabs his hand, “Like I told Sirius, you’re not at fault for Snape’s decisions. I felt the way I did because it felt like it was all lies, all the good things people said, don’t talk ill of the dead, right? But I know that’s not true. You’re a good man and there was more to the story just like I was hoping for. As for you thinking that your actions hurt me, you’re wrong.”

“Wrong?” James asks, confused. Snape’s actions towards Harry had been because of James’ actions towards him, it made no sense that it wasn’t his fault and he felt guilty for that, especially considering some of the merlin-awful things Snape had done to Harry including making one of his classes hell, reading that awful article out loud in class to embarrass him, threatening him repeatedly, and attacking him in those occlumency lessons without teaching him anything. None of those things would’ve happened if he hadn’t had a rivalry with Snape.

“Snape made his own choices. It wasn’t just me that he hated on or purposely picked on and embarrassed. He questioned me knowing I grew up with magic-hating muggles and glared viciously at me just for looking like you. He was still acting like his fifteen-year-old self even as an adult and there were adults telling me that I was in the wrong when he was abusing his power over me, repeatedly. He may claim that it was your fault, but those were his choices and as an adult, he could have and should have made better ones. Just like I won’t blame mum for my aunt’s actions, I’m not blaming you either, but I do appreciate you telling me the truth.”

James smiles, relieved. “I’m glad you don’t blame me.”

“Of course not, dad.”

“Good, kid,” James says, smiling happily that his son didn’t hate him for his past behavior, and knowing that they could start fresh.

#Harry Potter #Harry James Potter #James Potter #James and S/nape rivarly #Dad!James #same age #Traveling Back Universe #anti snape

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