#same with the enby pin

[ace-apple]

shoutout to the customer at my work who just came in with a life aspect hoodie. same hat!!!

#context: homestuck #fellow life aspect. respect #also the lesbian amd enby pins on their backpack :) same hat again

[a-5-m-0-d-3-u-5]

Scar Tissue (Price x Trans Masc! Reader)

Contains: Tooth-rotting fluff, completely SFW, FTM reader intended but should be safe for masc leaning enbies too, 2nd person POV, reader has a singular double mastectomy scar as is very self conscious about it, ambiguous warm drink cuz I don’t like tea or coffee lol, \obnoxiously self indulgent in my opinion but I hope it resonates with others

A/n: Woof I’m nervous but I do really like how this turned out. It’s cute and it even made my partner blush despite him being cis lol also Price is your husband because it’s cute and I said so. Be gentle with this one, yeah?

Although this is safe for all ages, I ask minors please refrain from interacting with me and this post, and any other posts. This is a space for adults.

The night always made things tougher. Something about the quiet, the darkness, the otherwise calm atmosphere made it harder to chase away the more negative thoughts. Insecurities burned hot in the cold of night as you stood outside on the small veranda of your little English apartment in the crisp wintry air to try and chase them away. The rain had only just stopped pouring down in torrents. The sound of wet tires driving below you accompanied the familiar, gentle smell of rain. It was comforting. Not enough to dull the pain, unfortunately, but comforting still.

You didn’t pay attention to the time, doing so usually just stressed you out during these moments, so you hadn’t noticed how late it was until your husband had sidled up behind you with a warm mug he’d made just for you. He handed it to you silently. He learned a long time ago what being outside this long this late at night usually meant. He wrapped a warm arm around your chilled shoulders and gently pulled you against him. Finally, you started to slowly pull away from your negative thinking just long enough to quietly speak.

“Thank you,” was all you could manage, but Price didn’t mind. He knew that for you, your words carried more weight than they seemed on the surface.

He hummed in response, giving your shoulders a small squeeze to say ‘you’re welcome.’

“Doin’ alright?”

A playful glare was all your husband got in return. He was happy to see you at least still had the heart to joke a bit with him.

“Right. Stupid question. Sorry, love.”

Eventually, you’d take a sip from your mug. He always prepared your drinks to your preferences. It made your chest warm.

“Wanna talk about it?” He was looking at you now. That gentle expression always comforted you.

You shook your head and took another slow sip, “Just insecurities again. Nothing major, I’m fine.”

“That why you've been out here on the veranda staring out at nothing the past couple hours?”

You took another sip, electing to say nothing. You did make it extra noisy though, pulling a rumbling chuckle from Price’s chest in the process.

Eventually, he guided you inside. You were as cold as the dead when he’d gotten to you. He wanted to warm you up and, if you’d talk, he wanted to know what was wrong. Knowing it was an insecurity of yours narrowed it down, but not enough to pin it. He needed to know a bit more.

You sat on your small couch, Price quickly following you. He took your hand in his. The callouses that littered his palm and fingers were always grounding. You were certain if you were blindfolded and told to guess which hand belonged to him, you’d guess correctly without fail. You knew every dip and ridge in his skin like your own.

You’d finished your drink after a while. You sighed, leaning into your husband’s chest. His heartbeat never failed to help your mind quiet down a bit.

“Just my scar again…” you mumbled, lacing your fingers in with his.

He kissed his teeth, the clicking noise it made bringing you out of the beginning of another spiral, “What did I tell you ‘bout that, love? You know I think it’s perfect.”

“I know,” you said, tucking your head under his chin, “‘Fraid I don’t think the same way, is all.”

His free hand rose up to hold your head and he pressed a soft lingering kiss into your hair, “That’s why I’m here. To think that way for you. C’mon, then, on your back.”

You groaned, pretending your melancholy face hadn’t broken out into a small grin, as you were guided onto your back. Price hovered above you and lifted your shirt up to your collarbone, kissing slowly up your belly as he did so. His kisses finally reached the part of your chest you couldn’t feel anymore. The scar tissue had faded quite a bit, but it was still clearly visible. One straight line stretched across your ribcage. It was uneven, thicker in some places than others. When your clothes were on, you often forgot about it. But when they weren’t…

You couldn’t feel much of the kisses that your husband trailed across the scar. His beard would drag across the area around it, your body unsure if it tickled or itched, but you could only feel the pressure of his lips through the numb skin. Still, you looked down and watched as he worshiped the ugly line that ripped through your skin. It wasn’t neat, wasn’t typical, wasn’t the ideal, but Price always showed he never cared about that.

”It made you happy, yeah? All that matters, then,” is what he’d always say.

All those mean thoughts finally started to melt away as he continued to kiss along your chest, further up to your collarbone. He pulled your shirt down so he could kiss up your neck, across your jaw, and finally up to your mouth. You felt him grin against your lips. You suppressed an annoyed whine as he pulled away to look at you.

“Better?”

“A bit.”

“I can keep going.”

“Would you?”

You fell asleep on the couch with your shirt pulled up to your shoulders and Price’s lips against your scar.

#ftm reader #trans masc reader #masc nb reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #price x reader #john price x male reader #john price x ftm reader #captain price x male reader #capitain price x ftm reader #price x male reader #price x ftm reader

[drdemonprince]

I don't know if this a place to share, or if this even relevant to anything, but i want to share an observation. I've been around queer groups for a decade or so, usually just observing and listening, and something i have observed is that very slowly trans women (specially out trans women and non-passing ones) seem to have incredible being reduce in meetings and talks. Like i used to see way more of them but now it is becoming less and less. For some reason they seem to have been push out of the spaces very subtly and nobody seems to care (i don't have an explanation of this at all). On the other hand the amount of trans men and trans masculine folk seem to have maintained some consistency. I don't exactly know whats going on this communities, but there seems to be something that is pushing trans women away, while not having the same effect on trans men. I don't have any solutions, just wanted to share because i feel like as a trans woman I am less and less welcomed in queer spaces but can't really pin point why is that.

Thanks for your message anon and for sharing this observation. The thing is: We know what is going on! Trans women talk about this all the time! Trans men and other TME trans people speak over them, sexually harass them, downplay their concerns, talk about them having "male" socialization, take advantage of their emotional labor, ignore them, don't give them room to be vulnerable, nitpick their stories of abuse and mistreatment, disbelieve them when they have been victimized, and all the while complain that they are so much more visible and have so many more resources than trans mascs do (which just is not true) and talking about how disgusting penises are.

You probably have not noticed these dynamics happening directly; most men are oblivious to sexism to an extent, and even men who have experienced plenty of sexism themselves as trans guys can miss these dynamics when they are experienced by trans women. It also is the case that a lot of the worst abuses happen behind the scenes: there are a lot of predatory people who are trans or enby yet behave as invasive chasery creeps to trans women, all while constantly indicating to trans women that they will not be believed if they come forward about abuse -- and in fact will be accused of being the abusers themselves.

I have multiple trans women friends here in Chicago who simply cannot show up to certain queer community events like beach days or club nights because they know there's a specific "afab enby" there who will grope them and then accuse them of abuse. There's entire self-defense guides designed for trans women meant to address this specific issue because it is so widespread.

And that is just one issue that a lot of trans women face in gender diverse or generally queer spaces. At a queer/pup karaoke night two weeks ago, multiple drunk bar patrons harassed and physically attacked a trans woman there, and then when the cops arrived, they tried to arrest the trans woman. (Thankfully all the bar staff and event organizers were very very clear that she was not the one provoking the fight -- but the cops still didn't really believe them. The man who attacked her is banned from the bar now forever. She isn't. If she'd been in a slightly less sympathetic crowd, who knows what would have happened).

In another local queer community group I used to attend, a trans femme board member was accused of abuse in the vaguest terms possible -- by someone who has now, years later, been outed as abusing multiple women close to him himself. Most people in this group have no idea about it, of course. It all happened in shadowy conjecture and whisper campaigns. I could go on and on and thanks for your patience but you get the picture.

I don't know what the vibe is in the groups you frequent, and I can't guarantee that any of the trans women have dropped off the map because of anything as severe as this, but I pretty much can guarantee there are some dynamics there that are making them uncomfortable. My suggestion? If there were any trans women in the group that you liked, try hitting them up. Ask some of them out for coffee. Ask what she's been reading or watching lately. Go to the museum or a show. Be her friend. Don't pry about why she stopped going to the group, just be a friendly, supportive presence in her life. In time, you might learn why she and others like her stopped going to that space. or you'll just have greater gender diversity in your life and your support circle, which is really important. Some trans spaces are utterly ruined by the presence of a few toxic trans mascs or aggressively afab-identified people. But you can help to build better spaces one relationship at a time.

Thanks again for your message.

[himbo-in-limbo]

I get that but honestly I love the idea of being poly, but Bons and Monty are trying so hard to show me that they’re better. Bonnie leaves me limping? Monty leaves me unable to walk.

Monty gives me hickeys? Bonnie gives me small scars.

And then there’s Freddy who I don’t think would be big on the idea. He’s already pretty vanilla imo (Aside from Praise and Degradation) so he just takes you shirt off, looks at you, looks at all the bites and scratches, and just is like “Superstar… did you get mauled by a wolf or-“

And do not get me started on the idea of those two (Bonnie and Monty) doing it at the same time.

But they better also give me some good aftercare. Idk if I’ve mentioned this but as kinky as I can be, I am a pillow price/princess/enby (Depending on the day yk).

Anyway long story short I want to have Bonnie, Freddy, or Monty to cuddle me after banging my brains out.

-🐦‍⬛

TW RAUNCHY N SPICY TOPICS!! KIDDIES KEEP SCROLLING OR ILL BLOCK YOU 🔥

DAWG

Don’t even get me started on poly ships cuz OOF (I decided to draw my more anthro vers for dis)

I have thought (and still do) think about how fuckin wholesome (and hot) it’d be in a poly relationship with fronnie

Those two would be the aftercare kings like they’ll do you raw and yeah sure you probably wouldn’t be able to walk the next day but

You don’t needa lift a finger. They got chu, they’ll pamper the hell outta ya and give you sweet kisses n stuff 😩❤️ Freddie will apologize sm if he left you any bruises n stuff (meanwhile Bonnie just kisses em while giving you a wink) like ugh just imagine waking up in the morning seeing these two bring u breakfast in bed n ughhfcgjgxcbnm,,…

-ahem-

Anyways the concept of Monty n Bonnie as a duo sounds…interesting

Your a toy for them I’d wager LMAO we know Bonnie would be a bit more gentle than Monty for sure but he can still get competitive…

I honestly don’t think Monty is any good at aftercare but If Bonnie’s there he’d def nag him to grab you anything you need 😭 he’ll grumble about it but he’d cuddle you post and after sexy time but he’s pretty lazy.

Monty can’t be held down forever like bros to strong. The way he’d pin you down so fast (also that leash as a belt thing is such a big brain thing omg) very hot, he’d be so annoying with his cocky comebacks 🙄

But yes Freddy they were mauled by a gator 😭 n it was hot ngl

#tw spicy #spicy headcanons #spicy writing #limbo writes #crow asks 🐦‍⬛ #my art #digital art #digital illustration #blog stuff #blog ask #montgomery gator #glamrock bonnie #glamrock freddy #tw suggestive

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Hi!

Name: Anthony

Nicks: ant; glow

Gender: wobbly (transmasc enby)

Pronouns: ey/vey/zey/they

Orient.: aro/ace

Status: platonically pining for the same boy since I was 13

Languages: English (native), Spanish (decent), Romanian (bad)

Brain Stuff: OCD, ADHD, autism, psychosis, PTSD, bipolar disorder

Physical Stuff: hyper-mobile Ehlers Danlos Spectrum Disorder; postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome; migraines

DMs?: I’m awkward but will answer even

Tone tags?: yes

Flirting/compliments?: non romantic and nonsexual

Swearing: I swear so much I don’t always register the use of the word fuck and my phone has autocorrected ‘duck’ to ‘fuck’ before.

Previously pinned post: horses

My overly active ao3: ant_is_in_an_anthill

My neglected art blog: @ants-awesome-art-blog (also present here tagged as ‘ant art go brr’)

My danger days fic specifically: endangered gays fic

Things I talk about pretty consistently:

- danger days

- Myself

- My danger days fic

Blog tags and more abt me under the cut

Things I talk about sporadically:

- Dracula

- The Historian

- The end Cretaceous Extinction Event

- Star Wars

- TMA & TMAGP

- Languages

- Bears in trees

- Other assorted music artists

- My intense craving for a Mikey Way 2012 fender bass guitar

Tags (I’m still sorting my blog so it’s sporadic and more will be added)

Chaoticbuggybitchboy - literally anything I said words on

Some blogs I interact with semi regularly have their urls tagged

Malevolent ant - me thinking about malevolent whenever I remember to listen to it (sunny I’m so sorry)

Complaining - me. Complaining. About anything and everything

I have a couple levels of vent tags there’s mild vent and cw vent

Infodumping in the tags again - what it sounds like

Ant activated - things relating to world events and general activism stuff

Making up words - for when I’m making up words again

Me when he /p - me posting about a boy I like. I’m sorry. Not stopping.

Ayudame - when I need help but in Spanish

Wtnv rambles - welcome to Nightvale, where I ramble.

Ant the space cadet - Star Wars talk

Showing and telling :] - yeah

My posts that hit it off - ones that took off in some way

Danger days tags:

Danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys - umbrella tag for all danger days content (yes I chose the longest possible tag)

Endangered gays fic - my massive fic series and anything at all related to it (including when I ramble in the tags so remember to check there if ur interested)

Danger days - general danger days; not associated with my fic

Danger days art - art

Ddttlotfk - album stuff talking about the songs rather than the lore

#chaoticbuggybitchboy #intro post #to be added to and updated

[berensteinsmonster]

sorry no good posts today, jsut doodles

Ok ramble time (I cannot shut up about my ocs and hcs for characters even if i tried)(oh and click for better quality)

LOOK 👀👀👀👀👀👁👁👀👁👁 at Conner Flask’s design. Look at them. They are so them. literally the character of all time. They’re just so mad-scientists vibes but like within the capacity of a 12 year old. Melvin Sneedly lookin aaah. Their mom (Mrs. Flask) btw, fully supports their pronouns, hopes and dreams, and overall just kinda chill idk (unlike her child, who really cannot stop being the center of attention lmao). She loves her child just as much as she loves science and inventing things. Mrs. Flask is more like cool teacher that would give you bonus points for just being participative and Conner Flask is a straight up menace just stealing your points for their own academic gain. Conner also used the button machine to make their own enby pins :)

Frownie is there. 

Joe is like ???????????? idk he gives me this very specific vibe of just like being stupid but there’s no endearment to it from other people. They just look down on him for like logical reasons, but Joe is just like “:I man what the heck” the entire time. Idk I just feel like he doesn’t like being treated as stupid or claled stupid just cause he drank lighter fluid that one time and liked it a little

SANGUINE SUNDAE ☀🌻🌤🌞 THE EVERYTHING. THE STARSHINE. THE LIGHT AND JOY OF LIFE. her design is based off of Hatsune Miku’s author notes about how she was designing the characters and was originally gonna make Smiley’s hair yellow but scrapped it. I think it’s still a nice concept cause like idk it looks nice on Sanguine (which btw, look up that word) cause to me, Smiley’s mom IS happiness itself. I had originally thought of making her something like Kooky’s (from KND) mom sort of thing where hse’s all business business but like... man. I feel like she likes stay hippy. she keeps it groovy. shes just :) in its purest form and also loves her daughter very much and supports her transitions trans right firkc you

ok Imma be nice to Frownie and talk about her design. Being Smiley’s self-appointed opposite, Frownie takes all the energy she has throughout the day and puts it all into frowning. She hates learning. She hates school. Why would she? Nobody really like, cares about her and she doesn’t care about anybody. She’s got a unibrow deal with it. Her front buttons are literally :( shaped. And her bright cyan dress contrasts against her baby blue skin, this is basically an inverted shade and pallete of Smiley, who has bright yellow skin and dark orange shirt. She also keeps her hair “neater” and “straighter” and even has the same upside down V line to part her bangs. She made herself Smiley’s opposite because everybody wouldn’t stop saying it otherwise and she grew to resent that. Girlie needs some better friends fr 

ok thank you for your time im taking that and putting it in a box and im gonna shake it around every 2 or 3 years to see if its still ticking

#this post is a lie its just an escuse for me to talk and talk and talk and talk #im also very tired sorry #Riddle School #Smiley Sundae #Sanguine Sundae #Frownie Brownie #Conner Flask #Mrs Flask #Joe #oc #ocs #my art #also yes its true Hatsune Miku created riddle school i know it ive seen it its for reals reals

[ingravinoveritas]

Why can not David just be a good actor and a good human being in your "discourse"? He cannot just play gay/ambiguous because he's a trained actor, he has to BE gay irl, there's no other explanation. He cannot wear the NB pin and be an outspoken ally because he's a good human and has always felt the unfairness of the situation, no, it means he's GAAAAY and maybe NB irl. Don't you see how you refuse his agency in your desire to objectify and imagine his sexuality as you'd like it to be?

(The Anon above is responding to this post, but I thought I would group these together since we now also have the picture of David wearing his new Pride pin.)

Hello, Anon. I realize I'm a few weeks late in responding (to this and many other Anons still waiting in my inbox), but we are still in the last few days of Pride month, as we've recently seen, so I thought I'd take a moment and address this.

First of all, I have not once anywhere on my blog ever said that David is gay, so I am not sure why you are putting words in my mouth, but doing so does nothing to help your already flimsy case. I think it's also worth noting that I am not the only one who has made the observations I have, as I've had countless people of all sexual orientations/gender identities say these things to me over DM, things many of them are afraid to say publicly because of people like you.

Secondly, it is very obvious to me that you did not at all listen to David's appearance on that podcast where he talked about Pride Month, because if you had, you would know that your attitude is the exact same type of phobic mindset he was talking about fighting against on the playground in primary school. It's the very fact that you are "defending" him from something that doesn't inherently need defending from that is the entire point that you seem to be missing. Further, when I have talked about David's sexuality, I am basing my thoughts on things David has actually said and put out into the universe, which you by contrast seem determined to ignore in favor of projecting who you think David is onto him, which seems far more like removing his agency than what you've accused me of doing. I also do not believe I am "objectifying" David's sexuality in any way, because for me, I do not care if David is straight, bi, gay, whatever--I just want him to be happy and feel that he can be free to be who he really is.

The other point of yours with which I strongly take issue is that you are trying to shove David into a narrow box when that is the very thing he was speaking against in that podcast. According to your words, he can either be a good human/actor or he is bi/enby, which gives the impression that these things are somehow mutually exclusive. My question to you is, why can't he be both? Why can't David be a good human/actor AND queer himself? What if what makes him such a good ally is that he is bi or enby and has experienced such difficulties with his identity and now wants to protect his child and others from going through something similar? And if that is the case, I'm not sure why you think that would be so awful as to resort to leaving mocking messages in my inbox.

To the points made by @hunterofartemisblog: I am so, sorry for what you went through. No child should experience something like that, let alone from a parent. I fully concur with you, however--we could speculate about David's (and Michael's) sexuality until the cows come home, but the one thing we can say for certain is that David and Michael (and Georgia) are incredible supporters of the LGBTQ+ community. Michael has been outspoken about his support for years, but I feel like David has become much more vocal in just the last year, and it is beautiful to see. Indeed, how lucky so many of us would be to have such support in our lives--from a parent, a friend, or anyone who loves and cares about us.

When I looked closely at this picture yesterday, I felt as though I could see tiredness and worry in David's eyes--which, again, could be for any number of reasons. My hope is that if he is bi or enby, that David has someone in his life to give him that support, who is letting him know that it is okay to be exactly who he is and that he is safe with them.

Clearly, there is still a lot of judgment awaiting David and/or all LGBTQ+ people who decide to be open about themselves, which may be one of the reasons why it's so hard to do exactly that. As Pride month draws to a close, I hope we can all think about how we can unlearn our own preconceived ideas about gender and sexuality--whether well-intentioned-but-misguided or outright harmful--and make this world safer for queer folks everywhere.

#anonymous #hunterofartemisblog #reply post #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #please have several seats #and try reading what i actually wrote instead of accusing me of ridiculous things #michael has made pride posts but also donated to a fan's gofundme for gender confirmation surgery #but i think david is definitely telling us who he is #i think he has slowly come to terms with his identity #not all at once but cumulatively over the last few years #happy pride month indeed #david is lowkey bi and michael is highkey bi #thoughts #discourse

[caxycreations]

Trying to save to visit my boyfriend

Income isn't enough to save up, it's just barely enough to handle necessities on a good month, and I really need a break from being here. It's been months since I've seen either of my boyfriends, and at this rate it could be many, many more.

If anyone wants to help out, I do writing comms, vrchat avatar commissions, cheap 2D headshot commissions, and I accept all funding sent to $Aazoth on CashApp.

Can find my "Ways to Support Me" post through the link to it in my pinned post, and you can find my VRChat Avatar comm info through the Trello link in the same post. My writing comms info is also there.

I try to advertise only once in a while to keep from bogging folks down with asking for comms/money, but right now I'm feeling particularly desperate to be away from here and desperate to go home for a couple weeks.

So if you can help, even just by spreading word, it can make a world of difference. Please..

Tag List

Tagging cause these folks have been good to me. Even if you can't help directly, please spread word? That's more than enough, in my eyes.

@dragonhoardingwips @moremysteriesthantragedies @thetruearchmagos @a-scaly-troublemaker @that-one-enby-onyx @leisoree @the-chaotic-writer

#advertisement #advertising #trying to save up #need help #need money #writing commissions #avatar commissions #art commissions #tips and donations #anything helps

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 25. Dean has internalized homophobia.

Trigger Warnings: internalized homophobia, mentions of dead homophobic father

P R I D E

Dean looks at the colours and the people in front of him, and he feels something he's gotten quite used to, only magnified to a thousand; it's the feeling of wanting something desperatly, while simultaniously feeling guilty or even hating himself for wanting it. But well, if he's here on a case anyways, and Cas is here, and there's some kind of Queer Pride thing going on in this little backwater town that nobody will ever care about, (and his Dad's been dead for quite a few years,) then maybe, maybe, he could perhaps, possibly, slightly join in on the festivities.

Dean's been getting better at this, he really has. He can call himself bisexual in his head without flinching, and he's said it to Cas a few times, and even though he's never said it to Sam he knows Sam knows because he's not exactly been subtle. He's stopped feeling guilty when he kisses Cas, because how could he feel guilty about his angel ever, and okay it's still hard to admit that he's a natural bottom, even to himself, but he can admit it. So.. maybe this is exactly what he needs? ...

So that's what he tells himself when he subtly brings it up over breakfast the next day. "So, you've probably noticed the whole.. queer thing going on here, right?", he says nervously. Okay, maybe not so subtle. "...Yeah?" Sam says, confusedly. "Well uh, I was just thinkin', if it's still here once we've wrapped the case, we might.. well, we could join in? I mean, Sammy you don't have to come if you don't wanna or whatever I just thought me and Cas might go, y'know, -" "Dean, it's fine. I'd love to go with you. The whole official support thing, I guess. I'd love to." "Oh. Okay" Dean smiles. He's still bad at this. He's getting better. "Cas?" "It's a great thought, Dean, I think I'll enjoy it. I don't technically belong to this group, being as angels have no gender, so my being attracted to you is neither hetero not homosexual, but seeing as the sex of my vessel is male I suppose it would be appropriate. And I'd be willing to suport you either way." Cas looks at him lovingly.

So that's how they end up, the next day, between all the people and colours and flags, so many of which he's never seen before... there's so many teenagers, and Dean's heart clenches when he sees a blonde freckled 17-year-old boy kissing another boy, because what if he could have done that and John woulda had his ass if he caught him doin' that and he actually needs to take a second to remind himself that his father is dead, now. He stares at the face-paint flag on a teenager's cheek for a little to long and suddenly she's asking if he wants one, too. "Oh- sure. I don't- I don't know which ones mean what.." he says, feeling a little stupid. (Is she a she? She doesn't seem like a she but she doesn't look like a he either.) She looks at him with a little pity and a lot of casual acceptance when she says, "That's fine. I've got.. queer, lesbian, trans, enby, bi, genderfluid and ace, so.. take your pick." "Uhm. B-Bi. Bisexual." "Cool." She says, and now he's got pink, purple and blue on his cheek. He.. doesn't hate it.

When he finds Sam and Cas again, Sam's wearing a pin that's black and white stripes with a kinda upside-down rainbow V in it and he says it means he's an ally. Cas explains to him about these words he just learnt like agender and demisexual and demiromantic and the difference between asexual and allosexual and Dean listens and enjoys it because he loves it when Cas loves something, and he loves that this is giving Cas exactly what it's supposed to; recognition, self-chosen labels and a feeling of belonging. He thinks maybe it's doing the same for him.

So yeah, Dean still has that voice in the back of his head and that sinking feeling in his gut. But the voice is pretty quiet and it isn't even talking, just letting out a long whine, and the sinking feeling in his gut is getting passive-aggresively waved away by the flaps of butterfly wings as he kisses Cas, and some part of him might always still panick at the thought of his Dad seeing any of this, but somehow he also feels safer than he ever has before. He has a home, he has a boyfriend, he has his brother and his car, and maybe, just maybe, life can be good today.

#dean winchester #destiel #spn #supernatural #castiel #deancas #casdean #pride flags #bisexual pride #bi pride #lgbt pride #queer pride

[that-glasses-dog]

"shut up." "make me." | kam

and there was only one bed

Taglist: @shellyseashell @theogony @dellaskye @ash-the-enby-nerd @ravs6709 @an-absolute-travesty (lmk if you want to be added or removed!)

Keefe frowned.

"Sophie, what is this?"

"I'm sorry," she pleaded, brown eyes desperate, "There was only one room left for you guys. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to share."

"Ugh," Keefe grumbled, glancing over at Tam, "Only for one night."

Their latest mission for the Black Swan had them staying in one of their hideouts for a few days, and it just so happened that Keefe and Tam had to share a room.

Which both of them hated.

Sophie's hair trailed behind her as she scurried out the door, leaving Tam and Keefe alone.

"So..." Keefe said, letting the word drag out, "You gonna help me move this?"

Tam sighed, stepping out of his shadowed corner, "Sure."

With Tam's help, Keefe was able to shove the bed from a corner into the middle of the room, with the headboard against the wall. Then Keefe grabbed a marker and drew a line across the room.

"Where did you get that marker from?"

Keefe smiled ruefully. "The curse of being an artist; having a huge art supply stash at all times."

Tam rolled his eyes and turned away. "I wish I didn't ask."

"Anyways, this is my side." Keefe pointed at the left. "And that's yours."

Tam rolled his eyes, muttering about Keefe's dramatics, but he moved his stuff nonetheless, sticking to his side of the room, while Keefe did the same.

Keefe turned and rummaged through his bag, finding a pair of soft pajama bottoms. He took them over to the bathroom and quickly changed before heading back to the room.

Keefe noticed that when he entered, Tam seemed to have a hard time keeping his eyes off of him, which he didn't enjoy in the slightest. Not at all.

Keefe flexed his arms, displaying the fact that he was shirtless.

Tam smirked. "I'm surprised you actually have abs."

Keefe let out a mock-gasp as Tam's gaze lowered to his stomach.

"You have a scar." The statement had a hidden question in it.

"Yeah, uh, it's from King Dimitar."

Tam made a noise of annoyance, to which Keefe privately agreed. If he could help it, he would never see the ogre king ever again.

The silver-banged boy kept staring at Keefe, who was trying not to blush from the intensity of his silver eyes.

He needed a distraction, and quick.

"Like what you see?"

A fiery blush took over Tam's face as he walked closer, toeing his side of the line.

"Shut up."

A silver glare under silver bangs, a beauty within it that made Keefe feel pinned like a butterfly to a corkboard.

The words slipped out before Keefe could help it. "Make me."

Oh, he was definitely blushing.

There was a long moment where they both stared at each other, and Keefe tried to settle his fluttering heartbeat.

Tam was close enough for him to touch, if he just reached out a hand-

Before Keefe could do anything stupid like kiss him, Tam turned, heading back to his bag. He grabbed some clothes and quickly went into the bathroom.

Leaving Keefe alone.

The bedsprings made a soft, practically indiscernible noise as Keefe sat on his side of the bed, staring out the window at the dusky night sky.

He would rather be anywhere but here. He hated this.

He hated it because he found Tam rather cute and now they were sharing a room, so it was likely that Keefe would get no sleep whatsoever.

Tam entered the room, dressed in a pair of simple black pajamas. Keefe almost regretted the fact that he couldn't see Tam shirtless, but quickly pushed the thought down.

He lounged on the bed, a hand underneath his head, and gave Tam a winning smile. "Ready for bed?"

Tam rolled his eyes and tugged on his bangs simultaneously, which Keefe found rather impressive. He then clambered into the bed, muttering, "I hate you."

Keefe snuggled into his pillow with a grin. "You love me."

Tam didn't respond except to clap twice, plunging the room into darkness. As Keefe sleepily whispered goodnight, a problem soon presented itself.

While the bed was large enough for both of them to sleep on their seperate sides, it only had one blanket. Who's stupid idea was that, anyway?

"Quit hogging the blanket," Keefe grumbled, his back to Tam. He tugged the blanket a little closer, getting a small scrap to cover himself while Tam laughed.

Keefe was suddenly reminded of how he and Fitz used to be like this, how they had sleepovers all the time and Fitz constantly hogged the blanket, claiming that it was his house so he had it. The memory made him smile, though a little wistfully. That had been before the Moonlark appeared, before his life had completely changed.

A breeze blew across the room-a window was probably cracked open just a tad-and it rippled across Keefe's body. He was very much regretting the fact that he slept shirtless.

As he shivered, Keefe closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep. He jumped when he felt warm breath ghost across the back of his neck, making his skin prickle.

"Are you cold?" Tam whispered into his ear.

"...Yeah."

Keefe could practically hear Tam's smirk."You could just regulate your body temperature, idiot."

"Shut up and share the blanket already."

Tam scooted closer to Keefe, slowly creeping the edge of the blanket over Keefe's body. As usual, Keefe was impulsive, so he grabbed Tam's hand and kept his arm draped over him.

Tam let out a soft gasp of breath as their bodies pressed together, and Keefe sorta wished he was facing Tam so he could see his expression.

The night seemed to last forever, and Keefe was wondering if he had made Tam uncomfortable when he finally felt Tam relax against his side with a soft sigh. Keefe smiled, grateful for the warmth, and drifted off to sleep.

But morning came, and Keefe could barely bear to open his eyes. He wanted to sleep for just a moment longer, but then their door was being rudely knocked on and Ro intruded, shouting for them to wake up.

When Keefe opened his eyes, he was alarmed to find that his sight was covered by fluffy blackness, but then realized it was just Tam's hair.

Wait, what?

At some point in the night, Keefe must have shifted around in his sleep, because now he and Tam were facing each other, with Tam cuddling into his chest. Keefe had no shirt on. He needed a shirt, otherwise things were going to be awkward.

Before he could do anything, Tam squinted up at him and said in what was possibly the softest voice ever: "Good morning."

Keefe nodded, too stunned to reply.

He finally realized that the warm feeling of sleep and contentment was coming from Tam, from Bangs Boy. It was amazing that Tam had any other feelings than shady sarcasm.

Tam blinked a few times and finally seemed to realize what was happening, with his face squished into Keefe's chest and Ro staring at the both of them, a smirk on her face.

"Well, well," Ro laughed, "You two seem to be getting along just fine."

At the sound of Ro's voice, Keefe's body finally started working as he shot away from Tam and ended up falling off the bed. He lifted his face off the floor, and said, "Shut up."

Keefe struggled to his feet and walked to the bathroom, trying to seem like a normal person. He quickly changed and headed out to try and salvage the morning.

Ro looked up at him as he entered, then continued filing her nails. Though she looked uninterested, Keefe knew that she was dying to hear about what had happened last night.

"So!" Keefe kept his tone bright, staring at the wall right next to Tam. "Breakfast!"

"Yeah, I'll, uh, join you in a bit. Go on without me." Tam practically shoo-ed him out of the room, and Keefe couldn't help but feel like he was running away after a one-night stand. Which was stupid, he wasn't running away. And it wasn't a one-night stand or anything.

"Well, Funkyhair," Ro grinned as she walked with Keefe down the hallway, "You and Tam?"

Keefe stopped in the hallway and turned to glare at her, trying to fight his blush. "First of all, no, I don't like him like that!"

"You're a terrible liar, blushie boy."

"And secondly, that was an accident! I was cold and he was sharing the blanket, so just shut up and don't say a word to the others."

Ro laughed, patting Keefe on the back. "You got it, lovebird."

Keefe sped up, leaving Ro behind him as he finally got to the dining room and sat down at the table next to Fitz and Dex.

"Good morning, all." He yawned, biting into a ripplefluff.

He was greeted with sleepy responses, and was slowly starting to relax. No one knew what happened last night.

And then Sophie sipped her coffee and stared at Keefe. "By the way, Keefe, how did you sleep? Considering you shared with Tam and all that."

"It was fine." Keefe kept his answer curt, noticing Linh raising her eyebrows. She was definitely going to interrogate her twin brother later.

Keefe stuffed his mouth with another ripplefluff, trying to keep his mind off of Tam.

And he managed to do that for most of the day, busying himself with whatever tasks he could to avoid talking to Tam.

But time moves on, and eventually, night fell. Keefe trudged back to his room and changed as fast as he could, sitting on his side of the bed.

Then Tam entered, and stared at Keefe quizzically.

Keefe gulped.

Tam simply went to change, not asking any questions. Yet.

When Tam came back, Keefe clapped the windows closed, making the darkness of night spread through the room.

Almost as if by an unspoken agreement, the two lay closer to each other than the night before, both staring up at the ceiling.

Tam spoke first, breaking the delicate silence. "Were you avoiding me?"

"Maybe."

"Why?"

Keefe tried to find the words to explain the jumble of emotions inside of him, but he couldn't. He opted for the simplest solution.

"I'm sorry if, um, this morning, if that made you uncomfortable."

There was a long pause in which Tam looked over at Keefe, surprised.

"No, I'm fine with it! I guess I'm used to snuggling for warmth with Linh, anyways."

Keefe didn't quite know how to respond to that. Tam didn't often speak about his time in Exilium, even though he still wore the bead necklace draped around his neck.

"I'm, um," Keefe tried to put it in the least creepy way possible, "I'm okay with us..."

"Snuggling for warmth?" Tam finished.

Keefe was glad the darkness hid his blush. "Yeah, I get cold pretty easily."

"Whatever you say."

They slept the same way they had the night before, but it was different now. It was different because Tam was pressed flush against Keefe's back, relaxed and cozy and cuddling him like a teddy bear.

In another world, this could be romantic.

Keefe hoped that Tam couldn't hear how fast his heart was beating, or how clammy his skin might be.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

He was successful in that up until he woke up. Well, Keefe usually woke up in the morning, but right now it was either late at night or very early morning.

In his sleep-crusted haze, he tried to figure out why he was awake. Then he realized he could no longer feel the warm, comforting presence of Tam.

That sent panic through him, and Keefe finally looked around. In the dim light, he could see Tam sitting up on his side, head in his hands.

"Hey," Keefe whispered, his voice cracking slightly, "Are you okay?"

Tam looked over at him and sighed. "Sorry. Nightmares."

Keefe sat up and gently put an arm around Tam. "What were they about?"

"A lot of things. Death, destruction, pain. My sister hating me, you hating me."

Keefe frowned. "I don't hate you."

"I know! But this stupid shadowflux keeps preying on my emotions, keeps giving me nightmares and I-" Tam's voice was thick with tears. "I hate it."

Keefe paused. Emotions was something he might he able to help with.

"Hey, lay down, okay?"

Tam obediently did so, snuggling into Keefe's side. He placed a hand on Tam's head, gently brushing a few strands of hair off his face.

Keefe drew on the power deep inside him, his ability as an Empath, and sent a wave of calm throughout Tam.

"Close your eyes, try to sleep." Keefe whispered, concentrating on Tam's emotions. Every time his fear or anxiety went up, Keefe calmed him down.

Then Keefe did something he would have done for no one else. He began to sing.

Tam cracked an eye open at the sound of it. "Not only art, but good at music too? You're practically perfect."

"Shut up, I'm nowhere near perfect. Now let me sing."

Tam rolled his eyes, but closed them again.

Keefe sifted through his memories and remembered a song his mother had sang to him once, when he had a bad dream. Since the Lost Cities had no music, it was probably a song she had found in the human world.

The melody was soft and sweet, a lullaby that sang of the sun setting and tomorrow being better.

Tam's breathing slowly evened out as he finally fell asleep in Keefe's arms.

Keefe continued the song for a few moments after that, then let the melody drift away as he felt himself growing tired.

In the last few moments before he fell asleep, Keefe leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Tam's cheek.

The next day was pretty much the same, with Sophie helping out the gnomes with... something. Keefe wasn't sure what. However, instead of ignoring Tam, Keefe talked to him every chance he got, making the butterflies in his stomach increase.

He eagerly awaited for night to come, though he wasn't sure why.

When they both got back to their room after speedily changing, Tam and Keefe just sat on their bed and talked. The conversation went from a dare from Ro to Tam talking more about Exilium and shadowflux.

Finally, the conversation petered off, and Keefe took that as a cue to clap twice, closing the windows.

As they laid together in the darkness, Tam spoke again.

"Thank you. For yesterday."

"Yeah, of co-"

"And also. Thank you for today, for a few minutes ago, for talking to me and listening to what I say. For being here for me."

Keefe blushed. "Y-yeah, of course."

The silence that followed seemed unbearable for him, so he spoke again.

"And I don't just sing for anybody, you know!" Keefe huffed, "Just for you. Because you're-"

"Because I'm?"

"Because you're special. To me."

Keefe would willingly die now that he blurted that out, but then Tam sat up, his voice almost... hopeful?

"Special how?"

Keefe huffed again as he sat up, trying to look anywhere but at Tam. But Tam, as usual, caught his attention. In the night, Tam's silver eyes seemed like they were softly glowing.

It was beautiful.

Keefe found words spilling out of him all of a sudden. Wow, not just an artist and musician, but a poet, too!

"Because you're sarcastic and stubborn and you don't trust easily, but when you do, you're protective and loyal to the people you care for. You've been hurt, cast out of the family, but you didn't give up for both you and Linh. You became friends with me even when I was rude at first, even though I went through that coma, and you, you.

You talk to me even though I can be awkward or hide away, and you trust me, enough to tell me about yourself. Because you don't care if we share a bed and if we snuggle or if I sing you to sleep. And you're..." Keefe faltered. "You're my favorite person here."

Tam stared at him for a long moment, mouth open and eyes wide in shock. Then he put a hand on Keefe's cheek and leaned closer.

He froze an inch from Keefe, his eyes searching Keefe's face desperately like he was looking for an answer. And Keefe knew what question he was asking.

"Kiss me, you idiot."

Tam closed the gap and kissed him. It was a clumsy kiss, since he couldn't see in the dark, his lips landing closer to Keefe's cheek than his mouth.

Keefe laughed softly, and they kissed again, properly this time, the butterflies in his stomach turning to fireworks.

Finally, they pulled apart slightly, resting their foreheads against each other.

Keefe was content to gaze into the depths of Tam's silver eyes forever, but then he spoke.

"So I'm your favorite person, huh?"

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

"Oh, I will."

#kam kotlc #kotlc kam #keefe x tam #kotlc #keefe sencen #tam song #tam dai song #kam #there was only one bed #shut up make me

[bearfeathers]

gonna get a little personal for a second. when i say i imprinted so hard on trent crimm... boy i imprinted so hard on trent crimm. my love of writing, being intensely bullied when i was in school, keeping so many parts of myself secret but yearning to just be me, cool glasses; i could go on for ages. like i immediately vibed with this guy.

i've struggled with my gender and sexuality for a long time. i'd always felt "off" and could never quite pin down what it was. and while i eventually figured out that i'm a bisexual transmasc enby, i felt embarrassed. to me it felt like i had already come out for other things and that there had to be a limit to what those i love could accept. (like, okay kieran, what are you this time? these of course being my own anxiety thoughts, as my family has been very supportive.) i was - and am - in a place where there aren't other people like me and people like me aren't spoken about kindly. so i made no steps to transition in any way because i was scared of how people around me would react and of having to explain myself. i was afraid of committing to something like that. (yeah, the "you'll have to deal with being trans forever" narrative got me. fuck terfs.) i was scared. i didn't want to upset or disappoint anyone i love.

but i had this character that i felt a strong connection to who wasn't what you might call traditionally masculine, who i felt was queer and whose decision to completely upend his career inspired me. a few months after watching 2x12, i made an appointment at planned parenthood and i'll have been on t for a year this may. because something about trent made me realize that i had to do what made me happy. and yes, some people might not like it, but i get to decide who i am. it's my life to live and no one else's.

i'm not sure how to explain how 3x06 was so validating for me. having this character who i felt such a connection to become canon queer was just... i felt happy and comfortable and at peace. i felt so connected! and i felt so connected to so many other fans who had watched the episode and had that same feeling of belonging. i'm frankly still so jazzed that i might just float away lmao.

i don't know where the rest of the series will take us, but what i guess i'm trying to say is i'm so glad i started watching and i am so thankful for trent crimm. may everyone be as lucky to know and see themselves as i have been.

#🐻.txt #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso tag #trent crimm #i was trying to think of how to tag this #so people could filter for spoilers #without me having to post it in a tag and bother everyone #but you know what? #fuck it #i love this character and i am so full of joy it would be a shame NOT to share it #this stuff matters! #representation matters! #seeing people like you matters! #seeing people like you be happy matters! #i can be whoever i want to be #and i choose to be me #whatever that may be #because there will always be people somewhere who love me for just that #nevertheless i am still very shy lol sorry for clogging your tags y'all

[chronicallybloodless]

Heavy to Hold - Chapter 10

Night After Night

Pairing: Astarion x enby!tav Status: in progress Rating: Explicit (18+ only) Genre: angst/comfort | slow burn Alternating second-person POV Contains spoilers for the whole game basically TW: it's an astarion fic: descriptions of trauma, abuse, sexual violence, etc. | smut | full tag list on AO3 Read from the beginning: AO3 | Tumblr Listen to the Playlist

After the first time, when Tav brought you back from the brink twice in one night, you had tried to go back to hunting game. But your heart was no longer in it. A rabbit or a squirrel or even a boar just wasn’t the same as fresh Drow blood. That much wasn’t a surprise. What was a surprise was that blood being offered to you freely.

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Astarion's POV

You knelt between the pale drow’s legs. Your gaze passed over each pair of fang marks that lined the inside of each of their thighs—marks that you placed there, one night at a time. The first set had been placed midway down, but each subsequent feeding had you moving closer and closer.

Their gaze followed you eagerly, the anticipation mounting in their body evidenced by the rapid rise and fall of their chest.

After the first time, when Tav brought you back from the brink twice in one night, you had tried to go back to hunting game. But your heart was no longer in it. A rabbit or a squirrel or even a boar just wasn’t the same as fresh Drow blood. That much wasn’t a surprise.

What was a surprise was that blood being offered to you freely.

Not long after your unfortunate hunting accident, you had started to head out for your usual “walk” after dinner when Tav volunteered to go with you. “I have to protect you from the bears,” they said. You had barely gone beyond earshot of camp when they had offered themselves to you.

And they did the same thing the following night, and the night after that.

“Is something wrong?” Tav asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“No, just…thinking a bit I suppose.” As much as you were enjoying your fresh meals, you still hadn’t pinned down what Tav’s goal was. It made you nervous.

Tav sat up so that you were eye to eye. You must have been making a face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” They said, head cocked to the side.

“Do you ever have a solution to anything that isn’t talking about it?” Your tone was joking, but Tav was awfully insistent about talking about anything they perceived to be an issue. You had already told them so much more than you had ever planned on—about being a spawn and not a proper vampire, about how little of yourself you remembered from before, hells, the fact that you were a vampire in the first place.

“Don’t tell me you’re already bored of having the same thing for dinner every night?” They said, their voice dripping with faux drama and a mischievous smile across their face. They were enjoying your dependency on them far too much.

You rolled your eyes before pushing them back down.

“Well, perhaps if my dinner didn’t talk so much.” You returned to your position between their legs. “And if they weren’t so obvious when they left camp to where people are asking me when I’m going to make an honest bard out of you.”

“They are not.” They pouted.

“They may as bloody well be.” You protested in response. Their grin had fallen into a slight frown. Perhaps your tone had come across too strongly. “What I mean is….I’ve seen the eyebrow raises and knowing glances between some of the others. Are you okay with them thinking that we….”

“That we’re fucking?” They finished nonchalantly. “They can think whatever they want; it isn’t their business.” Their frown deepened. “Unless it’s a problem for you?”

“No, I’m just…..I know you care a lot about how they think about you.” You were starting to regret saying anything. Somehow anytime you had a conversation you opened up more than you had planned. All they had to do was look at you with those soft red eyes and before you knew what was happening you were tripping over your own words as your thoughts tumbled out. “I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

“Astarion, you aren’t ruining anything.” They smiled at you gently. “I told you, I’m doing this because I want to.”

But why? Why do you want this?

“Well, I’m certainly ruining your skin.” You deflected. “You’re starting to look like a pin cushion.”

They sat up again to examine their thighs. Their hand brushed against yours, making you realize that you had been holding their legs open this entire time without being conscious of it. Tav didn’t seem to notice either.

“I suppose you are starting to run out of room.” They mused, running their fingers along the marks. They seemed to spend more time on the faint marks from the first night. “Do you want to try somewhere else? I did pick up a scarf from a trader.”

The thought of sinking your teeth into their neck was certainly appealing, but that wouldn’t solve your other problem of not wanting it to be quite so obvious that you were enjoying Tav’s company in more ways than one.

You weren’t sure why you were bothering with the pretense that this wasn’t somehow sexual at this point. At first, you had both tried to hide it. But as time went on, the stifled moans had gotten louder. Neither of you had made a move beyond that, other than hastily excusing yourself after you had finished your meal so that you could find some relief in your own company. You had caught glimpses of Tav doing the same in their bedroll.

“And if I can make one other request?” Tav asked. You weren’t really in a position to deny them anything.

“Of course.”

“Do I have to be laying down? All this time on my back in the dirt is starting to hurt.” You have to admit you did enjoy the view from your usual position, but it wasn’t exactly a feather bed out here.

“Why didn’t you say so before? Here.” You gestured for them to sit up and then positioned yourself behind them. You unbuckled the top of their armor and placed it on the ground, exposing their bare shoulders to the dappled moonlight of the forest. They shivered as you ran your hand along their neck, feeling for the right spot.

“Is this okay?” You whispered into their ear. They let out a needy moan in response. They might hold most of the cards, but in these moments, you were in control.

You plunged your fangs into the crook of their neck. Tav gasped in response as their blood filled your mouth. As you drank, you wrapped a hand around their waist and pulled their body closer to yours.

“Astarion.” They moaned breathily, their head lolled back. You held them tighter in response.

They reached back and threaded their fingers through your hair. You loved the sensation of their hand on you, but you had come to learn that they weren’t afraid to pull your hair out if you didn’t stop drinking when they wanted you to. You took a final gulp as they began to twirl a strand of hair around their finger.

“Was that easier on your back?” You asked, still holding their body to yours.

“Mmmmm. Better.” They had leaned all their weight against you, content to have you hold you both up. “I could still go for a night in a proper bed though.”

“Couldn’t we all.” You said flatly. “Perhaps if someone didn’t volunteer us to go help everyone in the countryside we crossed paths with, we could be somewhere with proper beds by now.” That was a risky comment for someone in hair pulling range, but Tav seemed content to let it slide.

You sat in silence for a while, your bodies still pressed together. They had lowered their arm, choosing instead to interlace their fingers with yours, keeping you from moving the arm that was holding them.

Your body was still but your mind was racing. It wasn’t like Tav to sit quietly anywhere, much less here, like this. You found yourself getting flustered by the sheer intimacy of the moment—not sexual intimacy, as the two of you had so often danced along the edge of—but emotional intimacy. Just being. Unfortunately that was the kind you didn’t have the best handle on, especially when you weren’t really sure what Tav wanted from you. At any moment, they could decide to reveal your secret to the others, or to stop letting you drink from them every night. But they didn’t. And they never asked for anything else from you.

For once, you wished they wanted to talk about something.

“Tav…” Your voice came out as a whisper as you hesitated to break the stillness around you.

“Mmm?”

“Is….is everything alright?”

“In general? Absolutely not.” They gave your hand a firm squeeze. “But it’s okay enough for right now.”

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #astarion x oc #astarion x mc #astarion fanfic #bg3 tav #bg3 fanfiction #astarion baldurs gate #astarion angst #astarion romance #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfiction #fic: heavy to hold

[yellowbunnydreams]

The Blood Runs Thicker (part 5) ~vampire!William Afton x F! Reader~

~So I've had a little think and a little looksie at how I want to maybe have this story play out and I have decided that whilst yes, William Afton in this is based off of Movie Afton, I'm going to mess around with some of the dynamics ect to produce what I feel will be a better story. Plus it's FNAF, when has the lore ever made sense?~

Tag-List; @ruh--roh-raggy @randymeeksisafinalgirl @sleepy---head @robin-the-enby @hungrhay @likoplays @slxsher-whxre @nicolezghostz

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Want more or something different? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

CW:Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), Female Reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 50's), graphic acts of violence, biting, knife-play, blood, blood-drinking/licking, mention of dead children, anaemia. Graphic description of injuries. The suit stays ON

Afton hadn't attempted to bite you for a few days. Although he seemed to notice your presence less and less each day also in a strange way. He still cooked for you and would force food and drink down your throat if you weren't compliant, and he did keep rebandaging your wounds. But it was like he wasn't all too bothered that you had begun to walk around his home, even permitting you to sit out on his porch for an hour of sunlight each day. Although you had noticed he wore sunglasses when he went outside in bright weather and seemed snappy and irritable afterwards.

You weren't complaining too much though, his demeanour had be wildly varied since you met him and in ways he reminded you of a large house-cat. Aloof to your presence and only appearing when it was time for food. Though where in the house he went during the time that he disappeared, you weren't sure and you didn't want to know. You had managed to secret away a pen and some sheets of paper that you found in a drawer, and you had began to write down things that you noticed simply by observing him, not sure what you would do with the collated information, but you had a feeling that you would need it at some point.

The first was that William moved fast. Preternaturally so. It wasn't like you blinked and he was there, but he certainly moved with a fluidity and speed that was above human capability, his muscles seeming to barely move as he walked and his steps barely made noise as he moved throughout the house. You had tested it once or twice over the days, testing his name at various volumes to determine what he could hear as well. Resulting in a few growled threats about wasting his time due to not needing anything major and making him move from where he had been.

He seemed to be able to hear if you spoke at a regular level even if he was downstairs or where-ever he disappeared to, but struggled with anything quieter unless he was on the same floor. Conversely, overly loud noises bothered him, leading you to wonder how he had managed when you screamed whilst being attacked.

As you padded downstairs, you decided to peer into the fridge whilst he wasn't around. Opening the box on the top shelf and finding it empty, you frowned and put it back. You could almost feel the weight of the bags under your eyes from a sleepless night, and your whole body felt like it moved sluggishly.

You weren't sure what time you had woken up, but a warm wet sensation against your neck had been what jostled you from sleep. Starting in the bed before a large hand had clamped around your throat and jaw, forcing your head away and for you to lie still. Heart pounding wildly in your chest as you felt William lick up your neck, his knees either side of your hips and his beard scratching at your skin, hearing the low growl in his chest as he pinned you like that for a while. Never biting, but seeming to taste your skin, his tongue almost becoming rough after the same pattern was traced onto the thin skin over and over again.

William was out of blood, and you were sure that the previous night had been a barely contained act of hunger. Perhaps there was something human holding him back from biting you, although you severely doubted it as your hand wandered up to your throat where you had some bruises from his grip dotting your jaw and a red mark across your throat from your shoulder to just under your ear. Shuddering as you thought about how much rougher he would be the worse he got. You hoped he would either bite you or go out and get some more blood soon.

Hearing a clunk on the table behind you made you jump out of your thoughts, turning around and seeing William lugging the hauntingly familiar Spring Bonnie head onto the counter. Your body trembling as you took a step back instinctually, not wanting to be anywhere near the thing as you recalled how the white eyes had bored into yours even as you screamed for mercy. Your hand moving to your leg and touching the now somewhat healed stab wound on your leg.

The action did not go unnoticed by Afton, glancing up at you and running his fingers over his slightly longer scruff. Lips curling into a cold smile as he picked up the head and walked over to you slowly, deliberately. Your body shaking as you tried to move backwards and get out of range, heart pounding faster and feeling your eyes watering as you felt the marble biting into your back. Letting him catch you and suddenly enveloping your head in darkness as he placed the head on yours.

"Aww, is the little bunny scared by a rabbit?" He teased, laughing at the oversized thing almost weighing your head down. It smelt like old iron filings and something organic, rotting mixed with moth-balls. You were sure in the low light you could see remnants of your own blood against the teeth of the mask from where he had initially bitten into your shoulder.

But you realised that the sound inside it was muffled, probably how he put up with the screaming. And that his vision was limited, only a letter-slot sized space visible through the teeth, as the eyes were too clouded and painted over to see through viably. And if the smell was heavy to you, you were sure it was almost overwhelming to him, unless he was blind to the stink inside, which wouldn't have shocked you entirely. You blinked rapidly as he pulled it off, your eyes watering more and tears spilling down your cheeks as you struggled in the change of lighting. His face was close, smiling wickedly as he leaned in, grabbing the back of your head and making you yelp as his long tongue raked up your cheek and followed your tears.

"Such a cry-baby. Don't worry blood-bag, this isn't for you today. Although I can only imagine how good you'll taste all filled up with adrenaline and fear." His voice low and gravelly before he released your head, looking at the bruises across your jaw with a satisfied hum before he glanced at your neck. "You should have heard the noises you made last night before you woke up, absolutely shameful."

You knew that you couldn't have made any, that you woke up as soon as his tongue touched your skin, but you couldn't help your cheeks flushing and feeling embarrassed that he could be right and that you had made some noise or movement that only encouraged the vampire and his appetite.

"Who's it for then?" You asked, watching him place the head back on the table and then bring up the torso piece, turning it onto its back and reaching inside with what looked like a deformed alan-key. Turning it in slow careful cranks as you heard the faint 'click' of things settling inside the suit.

"The new security guard at Freddy's, since you know, the last one just disappeared very inconveniently." William chuckled darkly, his eyes flashing as he looked up at you, making you swallow down the panic and bile in your throat and leaving an acidic taste in it's wake. "You'll be coming with me however."

"What, why? In case you need a little pre-murder snack?" The words slipped out of your mouth before you thought about them. William blinked up at you and laughed, a full bodied laugh that would sound perhaps pleasant, perhaps more like a middle-aged dad laughing at his kid doing something funny if there wasn't a tint of bitterness to it.

"Are you offering bunny? I don't take kindly to people offering things they don't end up following through on."

Placing the key down, he stalked over to you again, making your heart race anew and fill your ears with your own heartbeat. His head tilted to one side as his lip curled up and showed off those fangs as his jaw moved slightly. Every fibre of your being hated seeing those fangs, how animalistic they looked, two long and two shorter ones behind. They looked more like they were designed for ripping flesh from bone than they fit into a human mouth.

If you could call William Afton human anymore.

"W-Wouldn't want to ruin your appetite before hand!" You squeaked out as he reached arms length away from you, your hands raising up like they would be able to defend you should he come closer. The darkness remained in his expression, but he huffed and walked back around the counter, picking up the weird key item and going back to cranking whatever device was inside the suit to his satisfaction.

"I'll save you for dessert then."

~~

Being back at Freddy's was surreal, and you felt somewhat disappointed in a macabre way that there was no pool of blood from where you had bled out, or even the furniture you were sure must have moved in all the fuss. Even passing by the security office, there seemed to be a new door on the hinges. It was like you had never been there, and what had happened to you never did.

William led you to a back room, which you realised is where he must have been hiding when you arrived for your own shift. Looking away as he checked the time and began to pull on the yellow rabbit suit with a practised methodology, making you feel sick as you wondered how many times he had put that thing on. How many lives he must have taken in it.

But you wondered why he was so attached to it.

In the room you noticed plenty of dusty boxes and old animatronic parts, before a flash of yellow in the far back corner caught your eye. Going over to investigate as William checked the sharpness of his blade under the low light, his glasses off and tucked into the bag he had brought with him to keep them safe. It was clear to you that he didn't really need them, he simply preferred to wear them, perhaps mimicking what he looked like before he ended up the way he was.

Creeping closer to the yellow, you could only see a little bit underneath a dust sheet. Carefully picking it up, you swallowed back a scream as you found a pair of empty sockets staring back at you. Realising after a few seconds that it was an animatronic bear, sat down in the corner and slumped, loose like it didn't have a skeleton to support it. The mouth slack jawed and you could vaugely see a patch along the jaw where the fur lining it was thinner and discoloured. Like somebody had scrubbed at it repeatedly and worn down the material. Looking back at William, you could see that the suit was a similar design to the bear on the floor. Making you wonder if this was a variant he hadn't used, or perhaps didn't favour, as it didn't have the wear marks that his did. Simply it looked abandoned.

And you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being watched as you covered it back up.

Turning around, William had opened a laptop onto the table inside the room, face intense as he looked at the screen, the light casting long shadows on his features and making his look gaunt. Hollow cheeked and sunken eyed. You could faintly make out that he was running his tongue against his teeth beneath his lip, hearing him sucking against them occasionally as you approached him.

He was watching security cameras, different to the ones you recognised from your time in the office. That's how he'd known where you were, what exits you would try. He knew this place like the back of his hand. The sinking in your stomach made you feel unsteady on your feet and you sat against the edge of the table, swallowing dryly as you tried not to think about him watching you. Not about the still slightly tender spot against your neck. Not about how many he'd lured here before you.

His hand against your thigh made your thoughts snap back to the present.

"You look sick. Don't tell me I've put all this work into you, just for you to get sick on me." He growled, barely taking his eyes off of the screen, perking up slightly as he watched the hunched figure with their hood up unlocking the front doors and entering the building.

"No sir, I just...I'm nervous being back here." Your voice soft as you felt him taking your hand and his lips brush against the still healing fang marks on your wrist, making you shudder as his warm breath followed.

"Oh bunny.... You don't need to worry about that... I'm going to enjoy tasting you as I stand over this guy's corpse, and hearing those little sounds you try so hard to hide when you feel my teeth in your skin." His tone was sickly sweet, honey like and thick where it made your head feel foggy. Your throat felt clogged at his words, like you didn't even want to breathe.

"Won't putting their blood in me make me sick? I-I mean, if you bite me straight after them?"

"Hm....Never thought about that, I suppose nobody's actually lived when I do it. Better hope you're a matching blood type, bunny."

He let go of your hand and left it feeling weirdly cold. Shivering as you realised your whole body felt like it was slowly being submerged in ice. Grabbing the sweater that he had given you to wear and pulling it on despite the oversized nature of it, tucking your legs into the stomach as you hoped you could maybe get warmer that way, considering that you were still barefoot and in shorts.

Suddenly Afton stood up, glancing at the cameras and grabbing the rabbit head, looking at you with a wicked smile.

"Stay here little bunny, hide away in your burrow until I come back for you." Licking over his teeth again before he placed the head on. Pausing as he clearly adjusted to the change in perspective, grabbing the knife from the table and opening the door slowly. Silently. Slipping into the hallway like a shadow despite the bulk of the suit and the man's raw size.

The room seemed to continue to drop in temperature, making you shiver more as you took a seat in the chair William had been in. Looking over the cameras and seeing the new security guard leaning back in the office chair. Arms crossed across their chest from what you could make out in the static filled monochrome.

But what caught your eyes were the animatronics on stage. Chica was looking at you, just like they had that first night in a way that made an icy finger slide down your spine. Catching a glimpse of William moving in the shadows around the stage, watching as the animatronics moved their heads in his direction briefly before they began to move around.

Again however, they kept glancing at the cameras you were viewing them in, and something settled in the pit of your stomach. It was an uneasy feeling, and you found yourself chewing your lip as you wondered what was happening. Apart from a vampire in a bunny suit running around and murdering anybody who came in.

"How long do you think it will last?"

You spun around, heart pounding as you swore you heard a voice in your ear. Quiet, barely above a whisper, sounding more like rustling wind than human, but something made your stomach turn again as you turned your attention back to the cameras. The hairs standing up on the back of your neck as you noticed Freddy and Bonnie staring into the camera. Bonnie's head tilted to one side, as if regarding you curiously.

"Why did she get to live?"

You stood up quickly, half expecting to see somebody stood behind you. Heartbeat filling your ears as you tried to place where the sound could be coming from. Swallowing softly as you moved to the door, making sure it was shut tight, in case it was the wind moving through the door and making your mind go wild. You were already anxious being there, scared even. The plummeting temperature and darkness making it all the worse.

"Hello?" You whispered, shoulders tense before you relaxed, not hearing anything in reply. Laughing quietly at yourself for becoming wound up, moving to go back to the chair when the sensation of somebody brushing past your back made you freeze and the sound of fabric rubbing against itself as it moved.

Looking around, you felt all the colour drain from your face as the blank eye-sockets of the bear animatronic stared at you from behind the shelf. The maw open as if in a mockery of a laugh, you felt as if it was staring at you, backing yourself into the wall and refusing to take your eyes off of it.

It had been in the corner, tucked away and clearly undisturbed judging by the dust on the cover. And the distance it had moved was not possible for being disturbed, not with it's head peering around the corner and looking at you like it was sizing you up.

"She doesn't have a choice." A slightly different voice whispered. You could hear almost a murmur behind it, like the other tiny voices where whispering with it.

"C-Come on out! Don't do this to me, please. Please I won't tell anybody!" You begged, feeling hot tears prickling at your eyes and threatening to spill down your freezing cheeks, body shaking as you kept looking at the bear. Flinching as you heard a muffled but loud 'bang' from within the restaurant, your head turning towards it and the cameras instinctually before you looked back at the bear.

Your breath caught in your throat and strangled a scream as the bear laid across the floor. Arms outstretched like it was trying to drag itself towards you, the top half of the head slightly off-set from the jaw and giving it that same open mouthed snarl.

You could now see a little purple top-hat ontop of the yellow bear's head. But you felt yourself sinking to your knees as the commotion outside continued and you felt like you were trapped in a perverse game of 'What's-the-time-mr-wolf' with an empty thing. Slowly making it's way closer to you every time you looked away from it. The tears spilt down your cheeks, and you let out quiet sobs, straining to not choke on your tears as it felt like your throat gummed up and made it impossible to breathe.

"Don't cry pretty lady."

"We didn't mean to make you cry."

"Who are you?!" You called out, sobbing harder. The voices sounded a little clearer, the space around you almost sub-zero feeling to your skin as you looked at the goosebumps forming along every inch of you.

"He did the same to us you know."

"William did?" You asked, feeling the air around you moving subtly, a tiny influx of cold and warmth that made you feel sickly. Placing your head in your hands for a moment before remembering the bear. Almost screaming as it was closer still, snatching your legs back as it laid at your feet, the articulate hand an inch away from touching you.

"We didn't know his name back then."

"Yellow rabbit."

"Be good, you'll get your dog back."

"Follow me."

"We can help you see miss."

"See what?" You asked, sobbing more as the noise outside continued. Wondering what was taking William so long to finish it and come back, even if he scared you, it was better than whatever was tormenting you in that confined space.

"Put on the head." The tiny voices spoke as if in union. Your hands reached out shakily after a pause. Feeling the cold air move from you as if it was a living thing as you did so. Body shaking as you stared into the empty sockets, taking a few deep breaths before you slotted the empty head over your own.

The lack of eyes inside it made it a lot easier to see out of. But it was like your vision went fuzzy. Blurred as the lifeless body of the suit laid before you like a sacrifice.

Then you spotted them,

Five tiny faces peering out from around the shelves, some with their hands gripping the edges as they looked back and forth between themselves and you. It was blurred though, vague shapes that you could barely make out apart from the fuzzy scarlet against each of them. Pouring down their fronts from places you couldn't see.

"She sees us."

"She's not like him."

"Maybe she can help?"

"Who are you?" You asked again, receiving a pause before one of the five stepped out from behind the shelf. Seeming to give a shy wave. Your hand automatically waved back, feeling stupid that you were probably waving to a hallucination.

"Can you please help my brother?" The small childish figure asked, you could make out what might have been a black and white striped t-shirt. You shrugged your shoulders, body still shaking as you tried to process it all.

"Who's your brother?"

"He's out there. He'll kill him if you don't help." The whispering sounded desperate, pleading with you. Like it was hoping you would agree. A sinking dread settled into your stomach as you realised that the apparition in front of you was talking about William killing the security guard.

"I'll get killed, I-I'm sorry but I'm not like William. I can't do what he does!" Your voice wavered, feeling a wave of sadness coming over you as you realised you were powerless again. You really were just a bunny hiding in it's burrow for the worst to pass.

"You just have to say his name." The figure came further towards you, and you felt fabric against your feet. The suit had moved a little further forwards as the thing approached, and you realised with a sob that it was a ghost. Moving what it could to reach out. Trying to contact somebody, anybody for help.

You couldn't help it as you nodded your head, and the mask toppled off, leaving you back in the dark with no sign of the child in front of you.

~~

Your feet moved automatically, pausing as you encountered Bonnie stood in the hallway. The animatronic turning towards you with the soft whir of hydraulics and servos inside, hearing the faint 'click' as it blinked and the ears moved from side to side. One arm sticking out and seemingly sweeping wide to allow you to pass.

He made no move to attack you as you drew closer to the sound of fighting. The sound of William's modulated, gravelly voice snarling through the tiny speaker in the suit making the hair stand up on the back of your neck. But you kept pressing forwards. There was a name on the edge of your tongue, and you felt as if the eyes of the animatronics were something more as they watched from the side-lines. There was a sense of malice in the dining area. It was almost thick enough to cut it with a knife.

William clearly had the upper hand, furniture strewn everywhere and some of it broken in the scrap. You could make out dark splatters across once white tablecloths that you didn't want to look too closely at. A wet, meaty sound hitting your ears as you watched William sitting back on his heels for a moment. The front of the suit covered in darkness as you watched a hand come up from the floor, shocking you as it pummelled him straight on the chin. Making you flinch as the security guard and William began to brawl again.

It seemed like neither was coming undone without a fight.

You felt the coldness slipping at your side again, spurring you to spill the secret on your lips. Something that hadn't been uttered in a long time you felt. Sucking in deep breaths, it felt as if your hand was being squeezed between blocks of ice. Strangely comforting, despite looking down at the empty air before your attention was brought back to the fight before you. Hearing William swearing through the modulator.

"AFTON."

Your voice rang out, shaking, desperate and scared as William's fist connected with the security guard's face one more time before he turned his attention to you. Seemingly glancing down at the once-a-person mess underneath him before he stood up slowly. Taking the head off of his and revealing his sharp features.

He was sweating beneath the suit, something you weren't even sure he could do. His nose streamed with blood and when he approached, you noticed his lip as split too, the start of a swollen black eye forming that you wondered how the hell he'd managed to get through the suit before you saw the faint nail marks along his brown bone. The security guard must have reached in when he realised it was a person and inflicted some damage.

"Bunny, I thought I fucking told you to...to stay in there." He had to pause and take a shaking breath. You suddenly weren't sure that all the blood you could see glistening in the low light was the guard's. Taking a step back as he kept his limping pace towards you. "There's not a lot left in him, so I'm glad you got he....here. I'll still get to eat well tonight." He chuckled darkly, licking over his bloodied teeth, noticing that one of his fangs were gone. Knocked out by the torn gum you got a quick look at.

"M-Michael." You whimpered, William cocked his head to one side as he looked at you. Grinning as gooey strands of blood poured from his mouth and stained his greying beard red.

"What was that bunny? I didn't hear you."

A groan came from behind him, making William pause as you watched the shaking, bloody hand raise from between the turned over tables. Gripping tightly onto it as the security guard lumped himself onto the table, half slung over it. Hair matted against his scalp and face with blood, you almost vomited as you recognised that it wasn't the lighting making half of his face look slightly deformed and strange, but rather that it had seemingly been partly caved in. The whole body shaking as it spluttered, coughing up what looked like more blood that splattered across the ground. A flash of mangled teeth in the light as something akin to a gurgling chuckle came from it's crushed throat.

"I knew you may not recognize me at first but I assure you, it's still me.."

"Michael." You breathed, feeling your heart pounding as the almost corpse gave what you supposed was a smile, William turning on his heel and snarling, spittle dripping from his lip.

"Michael."

"Hello dad. Can't say I missed you."

#steve raglan #william afton #springtrap #steve raglan x reader #william afton x reader #william afton x you #fnaf movie #springtrap x reader #william afton smut #fnaf x reader #vampire william afton

[talisidekick]

I don't think I've ever said this here but:

All my life I was called slurs like "queer", "fag", "faggot", and "tranny" despite staunchly saying I was straight and a boy and had people call me a "bitch", "prissy", "pussy", "girl", etc to insult my gender and insult my person. I'd try to be adversarial when insulted because that was the expectation: for young boys to fight. Of course, that never was my nature, so I couldn't back it up and always got the living crap beaten out of me at least once a week in highschool and it would still happen even if I backed off from the start. It was the same constant insults during the assaults too, I'm not a man, I'm a girl. I was beaten sensless in the woods behind the school by bullies I didn't recognise, left to bleed out unattended after getting hit in the face with a baseball bat, thrown off a second story balcony, kicked down a full flight of stairs so I'd roll down them and lay unconcious at the bottom (and no one stopped to help), ambushed and chased down the street getting shot at by stale paintballs (so they wouldn't explode and hurt more), had some bullies chase after me as I went home with a rope saying they were going to hang me, and had someone pin me to a desk and sexually assault me with a screwdriver just to name a few incidents. By far, not my worst, but up there. The reason? Everyone assumed I was gay and no one wanted to help me, not even the adults.

The comical part of this is the moment that I turned around to the world and said: "You know what? I agree. I am, as you put it, a "tranny fag bitch". I'm a transgender woman, I like women, enbies, and just one man in all of human existance, and I am tired about keeping that quiet and lying that that I never was this way." They turned around on me and went "You're the manliest man, everyone can tell you're a man, you'll never change that!" because the truth never mattered. They never cared if I was gay or trans or secretly a girl, I just didn't conform to their world view and because of that they wanted me dead. They legitimately tried to kill me, and let me die, because of percieved non-conformity.

They didn't teach about queer people in highschool when I went, and a part of the student body tried to openlyhurt and on occasion kill me and the rest of the student body and teacher staff stood by, watched, or pretended not to see because they felt weird about stepping in to help a POTENTIAL queer kid. I didn't conform in their eyes, and that was enough. That's all that mattered.

I see the world today, the slow walk back of progress for womens rights to bodily agency, bodily autonomy being questioned, queer protections and trans acceptance being systematically destroyed, etc. and all I can see is ... elementary school through highschool. All I can remember is the smell of iron, of my own blood, their enraged faces, their laughter at the suffering they cause. And I am beyond terrified.

They claim it's for protection of children, but I grew up living in that kind of "protection", watching it, being a victim of it. It's not protecting your kids, it's legitimizing violence and exonerating people of any age to violate other children on grounds of non-conformity. Your child will get accused of being some form of queer and abused because your kid might be a little different. Because I had ADHD, OCD, and right now, I'm looking to get confirmation I'm autistic, and they started calling me these things when I was 7 years old. I did things differently, in a way that worked for me, and that was enough to abuse me for something I never fully realized or admitted to until I was 26 years old.

It's not about protecting kids when they try to criminalize queer people, queer culture, and their access to healthcare. It's about causing harm for being different, and it won't matter if your kid is cisgender if they're suspected of being transgender. All they're doing is making convenient ammunition to target whomever they please.

If you want to know why I fight for acceptance and equality, that's why. I already know how this turns out, and it's safe for no one.

#trans #transgender #2slgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #lgbt+ #queer #talisidekick #talisidekick things

[shaftking]

About the "new homophobia" comic you rebligged: while it's transphobic and gross unfortunately these kinds of people exist (and I'm saying that as a trans man who hasnt had all his surgeries yet)

Whenever I go to a gay club catered to my age group (young adults), a significant portion of attendants is just overweight white girls with bad haircuts and "they/he" pronoun pins calling themselves "soooo gay" or "faggot" and I absolutely understand why gay men want nothing to do with them. These are the same girls whod read yaoi and go "omg i wish i was a gay boy sugoiii".

Sorry for ranting, I'm just annoyed of fakers invading everything and destroying all the progress thats been made.

I know that there’s definitely a lot of girls doing gross shit and treating gay men badly (I have seen them in real life) but the comic does frame wholeass transitioned gay trans men as being “invaders” and fetishizers. The problem really isn’t your average gay trans man on T post top surgery it’s the girls you’re talking about using the “trans umbrella” to draw an equivalency between themselves and normie trans men despite not being trans in the first place. Which people like the OP of the comic take and run with to accuse trans men as being the same as the pronoun pin wearing enbies who a gay man would never even potentially be interested in in a million years.

#ask #run on sentence warning oops

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Hi, I was wanting to ask a question if thats okay.

I’ve recently been doing a lot of reading on radical feminism, and I agree with almost all the points, however I have self id as nonbinary for six/seven years now and I do agree with the radfem perspective on gender abolition, but I feel it’s difficult to strip myself of such a long term identity if you can understand that. I also disagree with a lot of the hate towards people who identify as transgender and i’m just overall confused about where my beliefs lie.

So a few questions:

1. Is is it possible my enby ‘identity’ is because of internalised misogyny? My dysphoria has never been extreme, just they/them pronouns have always felt right to me.

2. Is there any good masterlists/books/resources that i can use to learn more about radfem ideology?

3. How do I myself get more involved with feminism irl and make more of a difference?

Hi anon - it’s absolutely ok! These are really great questions and I appreciate being asked them, thank you. I’m going to answer them out of order because I think that will be easier to read.

Regarding question 2: check out @radicallyaligned ‘s pinned post for a simple overview, and @woman-for-women ‘s pinned post for more in-depth resources. The three books I personally recommend, in terms of those I’ve read which stayed with me and informed my feminist views most, are Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez, Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine, and Letters From A Warzone by Andrea Dworkin.

3: I’d argue there are three main paths for this. The first is to find an organisation with feminist motivations that works in aid of women, and try volunteering with them. That might look like womaning a phone line, making funding applications, transporting period supplies, or something else entirely. If the organisation is overtly feminist you might find yourself writing letters or creating petitions for feminist causes. Choose an organisation doing something that is important to you.

The second is to find other feminists and create organic connections with them, then move towards your own action collectively. That might look like organising education or consciousness raising sessions for other women, creating a feminist event like a documentary film night, attending protests or vigils, or some other project.

The third is to bring feminism more to the fore of your own life. As you research more, let your knowledge of women’s ideas and feminist theory inform your decisions, and share what you learn and your opinions on it with other people.

1: I don’t have a window into your mind, so I can’t answer this - only you can. If it’s helpful, some questions you might consider asking yourself are: what associations do you have with the word “she”, and how do they differ from the word “they”? How do you feel when you call yourself “she”, or someone else calls you “she”? What difference has it made to your life, your actions, and the way others have treated you, that you have identified as non-binary and called yourself “they”? What does “identifying as nonbinary” actually mean to you, and what advice would you give someone who was considering that identity, or someone in the same position as you?

Obviously you don’t need to share your answers to these with me (though I’d be very interested if you decided to), but they might help you work through your thoughts on the topic.

I hope all this is helpful! Thanks again for the interesting question and feel free to keep in touch or ask something else.