#san ff

[essenteez]

𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 choi san 18+

"if i'm the bad wolf, you have to the moon. cause no one makes me howl the way your body does."

"The release came too fast, too powerful. The pleasure seemed to be ruining. It made you subconsciously try to push him away, to slow his actions down but no use. He was unmoved. And at that moment, you realized the meaning behind his name “mountain”. It wasn't just a name. It was a warning."

☾ synopsis : ever since your boyfriend has gotten his new tattoo - beautiful moon phases climbing up his spine - you always fail to keep your composure when looking at it. it draws you to touch it, drag your fingers, nails, tongue... however, the worst mistake you made was letting san see your poor self-control. now, he makes sure to always use his new card in this game of "who gives up first."

☾ pairing : san x f!reader

☾ genre : smut, one-shot

☾ warnings : explicit language, teasing, ass slapping, unprotected sex, thigh riding, fingering, commands, dick riding, big size, f! struggles to take it, mirror sex, back scratches, missionary, rough sex, penetration, breeding.

☾ words : 4k

NOTE : When I saw his back and the tattoo during mama performance, trust me, the sounds I made were inhuman. I will never recover from this. The power he bias wrecked me that moment should be studied :,) this piece is my ode to this tattoo

You failed yet again.

The temptation painted your sight in red while your willpower was at its lowest. In crushing defeat; saying goodnight to your dignity, you reached out your hand and dragged your finger down your boyfriend's naked spine.

You gulped quietly at San’s defined back muscles, now tensing under the touch of your sharp acrylic nail.

You began tracking the lines of his new tattoo. The moon cycle. Nine separate arts spread from his neck down to his slim waist. The work was beautifully done, impressive, and constantly begging you to touch it.

“You're really a fan of my latest whim.” He purred leisurely, stretching like a cat on the bed.

“Whim?” You chuckled. “You planned this tattoo for months.”

San looked so relaxed, laying on his belly as if he was waiting for a massage service. But you had a better idea.

The book you initially wanted to read was finally tossed aside. Positive reviews really made you curious. The plan for this evening was to indulge in the literature and find out if the recommendations were not bullshit.

But then your boyfriend decided to visit you in the late hours just to take off his shirt and spread his whole body on your bed. Apparently, he was tired after dance practice, so he quickly took a shower and went straight to your apartment.

Yeah, right. You had known him for years, and you knew how tired San looked like. The San that was now laying beside you had a lot of energy to spend. And there was no dance practice on Fridays.

“Not true! At first, it was supposed to be drawn only for the awards, you know, part of the lore? But I really liked how it looked. And the decision to make it real was sudden!"

“Fine.” You smiled at his cute indignation. “I'm happy that it's real, actually.”

“Why is that?”

His head rested on his hands, facing away from the spot where you sat. You used that opportunity of being out of his sight and of his guard being down.

The wickest giggle escaped your chords, “Cause now I can do this.”

You leaned over his lower back, right beyond the first tattoo of waning crescent moon. He twitched at the touch of your tongue, shamelessly climbing up his bare spine.

“Fuuuck, baby.” He whined somewhat relieved, as if he waited for that exact move of yours.

Not caring that you probably danced to his tune, you were now making your way back down with slow and juicy kisses. San’s whole body began waving at the tingling sensation. His body temperature rose rapidly. You could feel it through the thin skin of your lips.

Every single tattoo had its lines carefully traced with your tongue and then adorned with an invisible mark of your mouth. San was yours, all yours to enjoy.

Your boyfriend loved it with every fiber of his body. You could tell by the way he subconsciously hummed the melody of pure bliss. You could see it by how his sun kissed skin covered with goosebumps and how his body rose and fell from deeper and faster breathing.

You repeated the route a few times before reaching for his neck to bury your face in it. Inhaling his intoxicating smell; a mixture of soap, shampoo, and pheromones, you caused your own mind to spin.

Touching, kissing, and smelling that man was enough to make the muscles around your entrance grow tighter. You felt yourself getting incredibly wet.

“Baby…” He gasped when your teeth softly grabbed his earlobe.

His desperate pleas made you inhale sharply. You would have given him the heads of his enemies just to hear him whimper like that again.

“Hmm?”

“Promise you won't leave me grinding my dick onto your sheets like that.” Oh, his needy whines were truly to die for.

Your eyes wandered down his glistening spine right onto his shaply bottom. Slight circling movements of his hips made the cockiest smile crawl onto your mouth.

“So impatient.” You hummed.

His plump asscheeks had your head in the whirl. You needed that ass moving like that between your legs. Your cunt cried sweet tears when your head filled with the vision of San using his trained pelvis to thrust his way inside you.

You groaned in his ear, pleased at the sound that his sin worthy cheek made at the abrupt contact with your hand.

“You little shhhhit.” He hissed in full arousal at the sudden surprise and now the prickling skin.

“Oh apologies, my moon prince.” You pouted with fake guilt. To ease his abused ass, you grabbed a handful of his flesh and gave it a proper massage.

Using this opportunity, you pushed him more and more against the mattress, and you went back to teasing his neck, ear, and temple.

“Moon prin…ah fuuck.” He had no chance to ask you to elaborate on his new nickname. The new, deepened friction between his hardening cock and your satin sheets sent electric waves up his body. It reached all his nerves, which woke up just to act stupid from all the delightful stimulations.

San shifted his head to your side. The pillow traces on his cheek made you want to kiss it. But you focused on his hazy eyes and parted lips, drying up from needness.

“You're cruel, you know?” He whispered.

You laid down next to him, face to face. Obsessed, your hand never let go of his ass, groping and squeezing the plum. You stopped pushing his pelvis down. However, San kept grinding, now deeper and more aggressive.

“Look who's talking.” You teasingly licked his lips. “I had plans for this evening but you stormed into my room, exposing your beautiful chest, broad shoulders and slutty waist while wearing these black thin shorts.”

His smirk said it all.

“You're well aware that the outlines of your thighs are enough to make me drip, yet here you are.” You scoffed in frustration. ”And now that damn tattoo…”

San shifted to lay on the side, chest against chest with you. You were pulled closer to him by having your waist embraced by his strong arm, the other slid under your head to stop you from leaving.

You had no chance to react when your night dress got pulled up your hips. In a brutal way, your thong got ripped off you. There was not a chance to say anything since he immediately pushed his knee between your rubbing thighs.

“You're right.” He chuckled, feeding on your loud gasps. “I just love to see you struggle to contain yourself around me.”

San didn't have to do anything to have you grind on his thigh. You craved his touch, from the softest to cruelest, all over and inside your body

“San, ah.” You whimpered into his lips as you felt him purposely tensing up his muscles underneath you. The enhanced lines rubbed against you, making every cell in your body vibrate.

You put your hands flat on his chest. His heart beat so fast, chasing the pace of your pulse resonating in your head. No language could ever explain how much you needed him. Only your eyes could show him. Only your heat, wetness could make him feel it, and you were absolutely soaked, so much you heard squelched noises getting louder with every grind. Your shame was gone. All that mattered was a release granted to you by this beautiful man.

Your lips were brushing, noses rubbing, you breathed each other's air. The teasing, who gives up first and kisses the other, built up the tension to the point it was palpable. But the need to indulge in your taste made San lose the duel.

At first, he gently bit on your lower lip as if it was a fruit, and he wanted to see if it was ripe enough to be fully devoured.

“Pure sweetness.” He murmured with a low tone.

The moment your lips interlocked, San became braver with his actions. He stroked his hardness against your soft womb but it was your taste, scent, your closeness, the way your eyes shone and your pussy called for him that brought him to the edge of losing control. He swallowed your moans and let go only when you couldn't catch a breath from the crushing bliss.

“You're so loveable, (y/n).” He spoke as much as his own problems with breathing allowed him to. He was so hard it almost hurt, and you were so… “So touchable, irresistible. And so damn fuckable.”

“San-” You were close. His arm around your waist tightened, resulting in him fully controlling the speed of your movements.

“You'll be a good girl for me, won't you?” He growled into your lips. “I also planned this evening, you know. To pump you full, to the brim. To sit you down on my cock and watch you struggle to take it. I need that tattoo scratched with your nails. You hear me?”

The ecstasy chased you, but it was his words that tipped the scale. The fog covered your sight, and the sensation made your head fall back.

“Let's prepare you for the ride, shall we?”

San made a space between your drained folds and his wet, sticky thigh, and he slid his hand. His two digits found your entrance without a problem. Feeling them entering you, switching from stimulating your clit to pushing your sweet spot, you were done.

“Oh fuck, fuck yes.” You cried, banging at his broad chest.

San lips attached to your exposed neck, sucking, nibbling on the sensitive skin. That did not disturb him to finger you as his life depended on it.

The release came too fast, too powerful. The pleasure seemed to be ruining. It made you subconsciously try to push him away, to slow his actions down but no use. He was unmoved. And at that moment, you realized the meaning behind his name “mountain”. It wasn't just a name. It was a warning.

And you moaned that name, whined it while tossing and turning in the arms of its owner.

“Hmmm yeeees. Cum for me… cum cum cum cum.” He led you right into the void of madness.

Waves of pure bliss hit you one after another. He pushed you slightly onto your back and hovered above you. His fingers kept reentering your walls ruthlessly. The pace fastened. San needed to fuck the last ounce of orgasm out of you. He had to see you desperate for more. And you gave that to him, you gave it all.

When your trembling began to fade, he finally withdrew his long fingers. They left your slit with a pop sound as your walls did not want to let them go.

“Mmmm, so satisfying.” He cooed with a smug look on his face.

You were soaked, dripping down on your freshly changed sheets. Only San could bring you to the state like that. Only he was able to work you out.

And he knew it too well. That was why he savored your taste on his tongue each time, collecting your essence from his digits as a reward. This was his ritual with you, and he felt like pulling the knife at any man who would try to take his place.

It was a little embarrassing to cum this hard from a foreplay. He could see it in your face. Oh, he would enjoy holding it against you later, then having you challenge him just so he could prove you the point yet again. Perhaps you wouldn't be this defeated with another man. And that thought alone stroked his ego in all the right directions. The cruel prince had awakened.

While he let you catch a breath, he sat down and took care of his shorts all wet from you and his own precum. They landed next to the shreds that once was a thong.

Nonchalantly, San went back to tower over your recovering body.

“Such a good, good girl you are, (y/n). You make me want to brag about you everywhere I go.” He focused on your lips. “And I think I will. You deserve a big kiss, baby.”

You quietly sobbed at another touch of his lips on yours. San grabbed your jaw to keep you in place so he can fully immerse in you. You grabbed onto him. Arms around his shoulders, legs embracing his waist.

“More.” You whispered weakly, breaking the kiss. “Please.”

With a merciful smirk, San embraced and secured your back. He had no trouble picking you up and sitting down with you in his arms.

“It's your call, baby.” He gently kissed your neck. “I'm all yours.”

It was your turn to move.

His cock deliciously throbbed between your legs, hard and swollen, tip tinted purple. San was more than ready. His eyes demanded you ride him until you were both sweaty messes. He clearly told you what he planned for tonight.

You gave him a few slow strokes and massaged his peak, which he awarded you for with impatient curses. Depending on the position, his length as well as width could be too much for you sometimes.

But you, adjusting to his size, was what he lived for. The tight embrace of your wall required a lot of self-control to not combust immediately. You were a challenge he would never fail to accept.

You raised your hips, teasingly sliding his tip up and down your slit. You trembled anytime it brushed your entrance.

“I know you can take it.” He encouraged you with this annoying amusement in his voice. Oh, how weak you were for this arrogant man.

Placing his hands on your thighs, he gently caressed them, drawing soothing circles with his thumbs. San began to watch the show as you welcomed him inside.

“Of fuck.” You hissed at the stretch. Supporting yourself on his shoulders didn't help. You sucked him in on your own.

The air abruptly left his lungs as your pussy graced his manhood with the first silkiest hug tonight. He wanted to act tough, intimidating with his cocky smile, but you felt like heaven.

San fought hard. You whetted his big appetite. He wished he had taken the matters in his hands, but he couldn't just pin it to you. Also, where was the fun in that? He preferred to watch you cry and struggle as he sunk deeper inside your warmth, inch by inch, without mercy.

“Shit, you're sooo tight.” He gasped out at how you began working on suck him dry.

Possessed with pleasure, San waited until you got more comfortable with his size. And the moment he felt you loosened and the relief ghosted your face, he knew he could push into you fully.

You shook on your whole body when he moved his hips up and finally reached his goal.

“Ruude.” You whimpered, feeling absolutely intoxicated all stuffed like that.

While you tried to gather your thoughts, San released your breasts from the night dress and buried his face in their plush. He inhaled the pure scent of your bare skin. You smelled sweet and spicy, exactly like your personality.

“You know me. I like being rude.” He smirked. “And I know you. You like it too.”

He was right. The struggle was real, but even that provided you with indescribable bliss. And now, when you engulfed him fully, the satisfaction was out the roof.

San firmly put his hands on your hips and moved them without a word of warning.

Waves of delight washed upon you when his tip swept over your sweet spot, “Waaait, I- ne-ed to aah!”

But he didn't listen. He couldn't stop, not with you taking him so well, not when you were dripping all over his thighs.

Under his control, you felt him reach new depths with every grind. Setting the pace, he didn't need to lead you anymore. The fullness you felt was driving you crazy. You put your head on his shoulder, hands on his back, and you rode him, deep and starving.

“If I'm your moon prince. Then what does that make you? My moon?” He asked out of nowhere as if he wasn’t just penetrating the deepest corners of your womanhood and making you lose your senses.

You couldn't answer. You could not form a single word.

“Hmm?” He was stubborn, despite swallowing his own moans. “Are you my moon?”

You mumbled something. The force his dick rubbed on your sweet spot took away your ability to think, let alone speak. You felt every beat in his veins. But San needed you to play along.

A juicy smack landed on your ass, “Are you?”

You mustered a little will to answer his demands, “Ye-es.”

He kissed your collar bone gently, which clashed with the treatment you received somewhere else.

“Then let me howl at you the whole night.”

With these words, his arms embraced your waist and shifted your whole weight onto himself. You were lifted up a little bit, enough so he had space to pound on you as freely as he could.

San began claiming you, rough and madly. His hips moved underneath you while his eyes studied every emotion on your face.

“Look at yourself.” He breathed out. “Look how cute you are, melting around my dick like that.”

Ah, yes. The mirror in front of your bed.

San never failed to remind you about it when you were getting intimate. He never failed to use it as a tool.

You didn't hang it there to watch yourself getting demolished. There was really no other place in your room to put this big mirror you bought on a very beneficial sale. But ever since you brought San in your apartment, the reflection stopped being associated with only checking your appearance.

You raised your half shut eyes at your face. You stared at how pathetic you were and how much you didn't care about it. You watched your features contorted in delight when San reached deeper and now was hitting your cervix unforgivably. You heard your own cries from the power, tears rolling down your cheeks. It felt so good, unearthly good.

The moment the frequency of your walls’ spasm grew, he sat you down on his cock again, burying his whole face in your neck. Now both your bodies rocked back and forth.

“It's too much.” You pinned your nails into his back and dragged them against his skin.

San cursed between hisses, making you look at the marks you just made. There was no blood, but the lines were getting bright red.

The was something about the way his wide back muscles moved while holding you tight, fucking you mindlessly. You focused on the tattoo that started it all. It worked on you like a flame on a moth. Every little thing pushed you closer and closer to the point of breaking. The way his body felt under your touch, how it moved with one goal - to have you scream.

He smelled like a late summer day, despite the outside weather being cold. The sweet sound he moaned into your ear made your whole existence buzz.

“I can't hold it anymore.” You informed him breathlessly. “I'm about to cum. But I can't…I can't…”

That position, despite allowing him to penetrate you the deepest, tended to exhaust you. San could tell it, by the way your movements slowed down compared to your need for release. Gladly, he had more strength than enough to take care of you.

He, himself, needed you to sob his name as he took you like an animal. San had nothing against slow, passionate sex but with you, it was simply impossible. You occupied his mind every second of the day. There were many nights he spent alone due to tours and busy schedules, sleepless nights, spent on quietly moaning out your name as his drenched cock throbbed in his hand. So when he finally had you in his arms, he let all the hunger out. San couldn't get enough of you. Calling it addiction would've been an understatement. You were his object of worship.

With the sudden overflow of motivation, he effortlessly changed your position that would allow him to give his goddess the finish she deserved. Your weakening body was laid down on its back. His pride did not slide out of you, even for a moment.

“Baby...” You called for him, but all you received was a glance, a momentary view of his eyes that were like the ones of a wild wolf.

San pulled your hips up to fuck you in the most suitable angle. His firm grasp kept you in place. The next goal was to set the pace that was going to have you cumming in seconds.

His elastic pelvis graced you with powerful yet skillful thrusts. His tip attacked your sensitive center, not letting it rest. You got even wetter, slicker to the point he didn't feel when he was going in and out of you.

“San, I'm…” You gasped, not able to make a sound. The control over your body belonged to San.

You broke beneath him.

The extreme heat accumulated in your abdomen exploded, flooding you from head to toes. Your sight blurred, heart pounded in your chest. The loud cries from the indescribable pleasure overcame any other sound in the room. There was no way to stop the severe trembling. It was too much. He was too much for your fragile, sensitive body to handle all this differently. You shattered into small pieces around him. And you would do it again and again.

San leaned above you with his hands on both sides of your head. You saw the sweat dripping down his neck and chest, and it drove you insane.

“My balls prepared a nice load for my moon.” He grunted with trouble. “And you will take it all. Every drop.”

His command, like a charm, had your cramping walls grab onto the base of his cock, their fast pulse forcely ripped the orgasm out of him.

“Ah fuck, fuck, fuck fuck!” He whined, shooting his rich load inside you. You accepted his throbs and spasms like a reward, with pure bliss.

San took his time, sliding in and out, painting your walls in white with his essence. Loud curses and moans leaving his throat were a reminder that you absolutely belonged to him.

“Fuck baby, the way you tighten around me when you cum...” He groaned, melting over the satisfying sensation. “Paradise.”

You embraced him with so much appreciation and love when he laid on you, forbidding him from exiting you.

He looked at your closed eyes and their teary corners. He studied your parted lips that he wanted to kiss constantly. You were so perfect, all wasted like that.

To calm you both down, he leaned to the side and began caressing your neck with lazy smooches. Your quiet, adorable little moans in response to his affection made the blood rush in his veins again.

“More.” He whispered desperately in your ear. “I need…more.”

He paid closer attention to your bare breasts. They called for him, bouncing slightly as he began to move his hips in circles. Your erected buds hardened, caught in his skillful lips. Body decided for you. It yearned for him once more.

“Baby…” You entangled your fingers in his black hair, feeling him slowly thickening inside you.

“There is still so much I wanna do to you. I'm so horny for you, baby.” His raspy, sultry tone was enough to make your pussy flutter. And he felt that with every ounce of his being. There was no better feeling than your desire for him.

The art on his back crossed your spinning mind. You found the culprit of this insatiability.

“Damn you, tattoo.” You giggled. “I really wanted to read that book tonight.”

He lined up his face with yours and gave you that well-known, disarming smile with dimples that had you and all his fans go weak in the knees.

Little did you know, the tattoo you were now cursing wasn't his "latest whim". The moment he saw your eyes shine at the drawn one, he immediately decided to have it forever engraved on his skin. Now San had his own little trick to keep your full attention on no one else but him.

@nateezfics @hazysan 💋

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[doritochoi]

driving test | C.S

pairing: choi san x fem!reader

genre: smut because is my fav

warnings: strangers, boss x secretary relationship, unprotected sex( kids dont do that irl)

summary: You fucked up with your driving instructor's son and find out that he is your boss and you are his secretary.

A/n: It took me 1 month to write this, but I finally finished it. Let me know what you think. I am waiting for new suggestions in the comments. ✨

banner by @cafekitsune

Today you were supposed to meet with your driving instructor. Usually 12 o'clock was not a problem for you, but this morning you woke up at 11:30. You wanted your license for a long time and you worked really hard. You got ready quickly, and when you left the house you received a message from your instructor that he can't come because he got sick and someone else will come in his place, his son. This day could be worse than it was. You didn't like to meet new people, especially if its someone you didn't know. However, you were curious about this mysterious guy. Maybe he was really nice and maybe it won't be that bad.

You arrived at the place where you were supposed to meet him. You can say that you saw an angel in front of your eyes. This man had such beautiful features that you couldn't even move from there. What If you couldn't focus at all because of him? He was dressed in a slightly transparent shirt, making you look at his well-sculpted body .Those leather pants fit him perfectly and that perfume smelled incredibly good making you feel like your in heaven. His sharp eyes were looking directly into your soul giving you unusual sensations. This man was extremely gorgeous and he wasn't even that close to you. His hair was curly and fluffy, making you want to put your hands through his hair and ruffle it. He was standing in front of you, and all you did was just stare at him.

Mr. Choi often told you that his son was really handsome and good at driving, but you didn't really pay attention to him until now. "Hi, I am Choi San , nice to meet you!",even his voice was so sweet just like him."H-hello! I am Y/n!", you couldn't even form a sentence. You stuttered so badly that he noticed. "You don't have to be shy, I won't eat you." Your voice was already lost. You couldn't say anything anymore, it made you feel really embarrassed. "Let's go, the car is here". You were driving, but something unexpected happens. You never failed. Is it because of this handsome man who was sitting next to you? Ofc it was, well..it wasn't his fault, but he intimidated you so much that you couldn't concentrate at all. "Are you okay? You dont look good.Do you want to stop?" The only thing you were thinking right now, it was how his lips would feel on yours. You were already staring at him too much, until he started to notice. "Dreaming about me, sweetheart?" His voice made you startle and come to reality. You widened your eyes, seeing him tilt his head towards you, looking at you with those lustful eyes. "If you don't answer me, I might kiss you and I don't think you want that." His voice had already changed to a husky one, making you feel dominated by him. His hand slowly went down to your thigh, caressing you there, then going as high as possible. He started to bring his face closer to yours. You thinked he wanted to kiss you, but he just moved closer to your ear whispering some words. "My dad is home right now, if you want i can book a hotel for us." You couldn't say a word. You blinked a few times and looked at him. "I'll take this as a yes."

You got out of the car and he called a taxi to come. You arrived at the hotel. It seemed to be super expensive and not everyone could stay there. But you don't really about that right now, all you care about is that you will definitely have sex with a stranger. A fucking handsome stranger. When you entered in the elevator, San couldn't take his hands off you. He pressed you on the wall and put his hands on your hips, kissing you passionately as if you were his dinner. "Fuck, I want you so bad." ,he said through the kiss, then a sound was heard, knowing that you had reached the floor. The room that he booked was a very large one, with an elevator, making your situation easier. You got out of the elevator, and the first thing San does is to throw you on the bed, laying on top of you. You could feel how excited he was just through his pants so he started to kiss your neck and you moaned with pleasure at his touches." Take it off!" ,he told you this referring to the mini dress that you were wearing ,which was extremely revealing anyway. Seeing your skin makes him even more turned on. You struggled to take off the dress, but because you were too excited at the moment and the fact that you were put in an unusual situation, you got stuck and couldn't do anything. He got angry and tore your dress with his teeth. I don't need to say anything about the panties, because they were already gone is 2 seconds.

Now, you were in front of him. He looks at you like a piece of painting untouched by anyone. One of the most beautiful pieces he ever seen. He started to kiss you so passionately. You have never been touched like this. You could see that he was experienced. His cold hands roamed over your perfect boobs, then he went lower and lower until he felt how wet you were. "Oh, i made you wet, sweety?" , while he puts two fingers in you. He looked at you how you were moaning and screaming his name to do it faster, making him satisfied by the sounds. They were music to his ears. Then he started to lick you, feeling his tongue exploring every part of your dripping pussy. His tongue was moving so well, all you could do was scream his name as loud as you could. When he realized that you were close, he stopped instantly, stealing a good orgasm from you and in 5 seconds you were seeing his huge cock. Your eyes were focused at his pink tip, seeing how much attention he needed. His veiny hands were spreading your legs, rubbing his cock against your cunt, making you to throw back your head on the pillow. You felt so needy that you wanted him inside you, but he kept teasing you and watching you struggle. "San...please...", you beg him to be touched. "Please what?", he looked at you, seeing that he was able to get what he wanted, being proud of himself. You stood up, your face moving closer to his lips, his eyes exploring every feature on your face. "Fuck me", your hand roamed his abdomen, until it reached even lower, touching his member. You didn't even get to put your hand on his dick, because he grabbed your hand and threw you back on the bed.

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You never imagined that you would ever end up sleeping with someone, especially someone you don't know. You stopped thinking because you felt something entering you. The way you moaned, made San push himself even harder into you. One hand was on your boob massaging you, and the other on your pussy, rubbing it with slow movements. "Ah baby, you take me so good", you heard him groan, then a slap was heard that made your ass itch after. "Ready for us to cum?", You nodded, unable to say a word. His cock was hitting that sweet spot deep inside you, that spot only he could reach. "Fuck ," San cooed in your ear as you came. He whispered sweet words, kissing your temple as you began to calm down. He groaned, pumping into you a few more times before filling you with his white seed. He fell next to you, exhausted. You fell asleep so quickly that all you remembered was that he held you in his arms and you both fell asleep.

The sunlight woke you up, feeling a terrible pain between your legs, reminding you of what happened last night. Your cheeks turned pink, seeing that a muscular arm was holding you, not wanting to let you go. You slowly got out of bed, not wanting to wake him up and ruin his precious sleep. After all, he was just as tired as you. But you had to go. Today was your first day at work. You were looking for a job for a long time, and yesterday before this incident happened, you received an email that you were hired. You don't know what was in your mind to do such a thing. Even if you didn't want to leave, you had to. Without leaving a note or a phone number, you hurried, taking the elevator because San had rented a room on the top floor. What a good idea.

Getting into the taxi, you told the driver the address and in 10 minutes you reached your destination. You got out of the car, seeing the biggest building you had ever seen. Of course, rich people worked here. You could see it only by the way they were dressed and by the cars they had. You went inside, and while you were staring at how beautiful that place was. A lady came towards you. "Hello miss! You are new, right?", "Yes! I got hired yesterday.", she took your hand and you headed to the elevator. "Let me guide you to the meeting room.", you were a little surprised not expecting someone to help you on the your first day. You entered that big door, and there were a lot of people, probably looking for a job just like you. Someone opened the door causing the noise in the room to disappear. You turned around, your eyes not knowing what to do at that moment, whether to look or not. It was Choi San. Just when you thought you got rid of him, he just appears in front of you. He was dressed in a suit. The shirt and pants fit perfectly on his body. His hair was different. Everything was different. His glasses fit perfectly, and those fucking lips. You remembered how those lips kissed you all over, making you moan with pleasure. His eyes were looking somewhere, as if they wanted to look for someone. You turned your back pretending to look through the sheets. Feeling how he passes by, you could see him talking with other people. The meeting was over, you were getting ready to pack your things and go to see your office, but a hand appeared and closed the door in front of you. "Not you, Y/n", once you heard him call your name, your heart started beating fast. You turned around and your back felt the wall and a chest appeared in front of you. "Why are you trying to act like nothing happend, Miss Y/n?", he smirked at you putting his hands on your waist, going lower. "Why don't you pretend like nothing happened?", you told him, believing that if you look like you don't care, he will leave you alone. "Nothing? Was it all nothing to you?", you were really surprised. You didn't expect that answer from him, you thought it was just a one-night stand, but in fact he was interested in you. "Why? Are you interested in me?" , "Maybe", he untied his tie in front of you, throwing it on the desk, sitting on the chair looking at you with a look that you couldn't describe. "You can go to your office Miss Y/n, I'll come to you later", you didn't say anything, you just closed the door leaving him alone there in his office sipping his coffee.

While you settled in the office, San was extremely sad and confused. A wave of unknown feelings began to come to make him think about you and about last night. Walking down the hall, passing by his office, you heard that someone was there. The door was a little open so you could peek inside. Your body started to boil, seeing an employee talking to San. She was next to him, slightly bent over so that her cleavage could be seen. As you headed back to your office, A hand pulled you into a dark room and then pinned you to the wall. You were a little scared, but when you felt that wonderful scent of San's perfume, you relaxed. " Huh? Weren't you too busy? What do you want?" , He didn't have to say anything, he came closer to your face and kissed you passionately so that the kiss lasted forever, never forgetting this moment. "W-wait not here". "Then, after we leave come to my house, we have to finish something."

#ateez scenarios #ateez #ateez imagine #ateez smut #san ateez #san x reader #atz #san smut #san ff #ateez x reader

[jungwnies]

⋅ ⎯ ✈︎ choi san | s. how ateez's san would act as your boyfriend ! | r. requested ! | w. slightly suggestive ! | wc. ~0.4k ! | g. slice of life !

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀⠀ ㅤmasterlist | navigation

최산 — choi san

choi san as your boyfriend would be very affectionate

san oftens shows his affection through hugs and his words, and he often smiles at you

although san might seem to have a cold demeanor he is quite the softie when he's around you

in the beginning san was merely a best friend, and only that

but he caught feelings and they got very overwhelming for him so he decided to confess

which obviously led to the best duo, you and him

he's gentle emotionally and physically and would never do anything to intentionally hurt you

sometimes during comebacks when he's stressed he can't help but be a little annoyed and short tempered but he's always careful to never take it out on you

san LOVES hugs

he loves anything physical when it's comes to the relationship

he's very cuddly and any chance he gets he is going to latch onto you like a kid when they're begging their mom for something in the toys section of target

he's quite jealous as well

what's his is his

he does not like sharing, so when he sees another guy staring at you or just looking at you he's already shooting daggers with his eyes

he's not super quick at telling you he loves you as that is one of his most vulnerable moments but once he's sure he's going to let you know in hopes you feel the same

he's a good kisser

hands down he is one of the best kissers in ateez actually

his kisses always linger leaving you wanting more

he's gentle with his kisses but there are times he's tugging at your bottom lip begging for entrance

san knows everything about you

from your favorite color to your favorite pair of socks

he's very protective over you and is willing to do anything just to make sure you're okay

he puts a lot of effort in the relationship, however they're very subtle efforts

he doesn't see the need for grand surprises but he will sometimes surprise you with a gift here and there

he would feel incomplete without you if the two of you were to break up or go on a break

he sees you as his rock and if you weren't there he'd feel empty

2022 © jungwnies

#ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez x reader #san ff #san fanfic #san smut #san x reader #choi san ff #choi san fanfic #choi san smut #choi san x reader #kpop smut #au #imagines #drabble #headcanon #icons #jungwnies #𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies #⌦ .｡.:*♡ ― inbox

[hwashotcheeto]

Incubus!San learning how to properly love his human partner 🥰 When his s/o doesn't want to have sex, he gets confused and doesn't know what to do, making him sad and starts thinking he's unworthy of their love but they teach him other ways of showing affection and San feels his heart swell up and tries to remember all of the other ways to love them :3

Aaaaah, yes! I love it!

This was an idea that @malldreamprincess and I came up with a LONG long time ago when we were obsessed with incubu/succubi, and I'm so glad it came back (Thank you my love 💜).

And before we get started, here's what I think "Incubus San" might look like

WC: 1k

CW: Fluff, really fluffy. Some crying, comforts, cuddles, honestly just really sweet

"Not tonight, San," you mumbled as you rolled over in bed. Your incubus boyfriend sat in confused, stunned silence as you went to sleep without him.

You'd been dating (or what one could consider "dating," since he was living with you) for a month now, and whenever you'd been stressed or sad, San had soothed the pain with sex. You'd thought it was for him, that he was the one tired and needed sex to feel better.

But in truth, it was all for you. He truly cared about you, but he didn't know how else to show it. Through sex, he was able to take care of you and make you feel better. He was unsure of how you saw it, but he saw it as therapy.

So as he laid back down that night, he felt powerless. He didn't want you to suffer alone. But he didn't know how to help you.

You slept in the next morning, not getting up until almost noon. It was your day off, who cared what time you got up?

You pulled yourself out of bed and made your way into the kitchen. San was in the other room, he heard you rummaging around in the kitchen for a sandwich. Just something to stave off the hunger that was gnawing at your stomach.

With sandwich in hand, you made your way to the living room and stopped when you saw him. He was curled up, hugging one of the pillows, his head down. When he looked up at you, his eyes were red and puffy.

"Are you crying?" You asked softly. San rubbed the tears off his cheeks and cleared his throat before he replied.

"I want to help you," he said, his voice hoarse. "I don't like seeing you sad, and I want to help, but I don't know how." His voice broke on the last few words, and he hugged the pillow tighter.

Your heart broke in your chest. "What do you mean you don't know how?"

"I don't know what to do to make you happy. Please, tell me, I..." The tears poured from his eyes again, with a little choke as he tried to continue.

You put your sandwich down on the table and went to hug San. The pillow was forgotten as you pulled him into your arms and he hugged you back.

When you decided to keep an incubus around, you weren't expecting this level of affection, this desire to make you happy. He's a sex demon, why would he care about anything besides, well, sex?

But San was clearly more than his title presented. He wanted you to be happy. He genuinely cared about you if he was begging to know how to make you happy.

There'd be a learning curve, definitely. But for the both of you, it was worth it.

A week later, you returned home starving. You didn't have the chance to get dinner on the way home, as you were low on gas, and couldn't afford either currently anyways.

But as you were taking off your shoes and coat, you smelled food. It smelled divine, your mouth watered and your stomach growled in need.

You went into the kitchen and stopped dead in your tracks. San was putting the finishing touches on two sets of foods, which again, made your stomach growl.

San looked up at the noise and smiled at you, his eyes turning into slits. "I knew I timed it right." He stepped back from the counter and motioned to the food, presenting it to you. "I tried to make it how you said you liked it."

It was the most gorgeous plate of food you'd ever seen.

You threw your arms around San's neck and hugged him tight. You hadn't asked him to make dinner, you never asked him to make you food at all.

But here he made you a food you mentioned in a passing conversation, not even thinking about it, and made it so you'd be able to eat it right when you got home.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anything for you."

The two of you sat on the couch and watched a movie while you ate. It tasted better than you'd ever had it before.

You dropped your phone onto the coffee table and covered your face, tears springing from your eyes.

Almost like a dog, San heard you crying and came running, sitting next to you and hugging you tight.

"What's wrong?" He asked, but you shook your head as you leaned into him, hugging him tightly. You didn't want to talk about it, you just wanted to cry.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your head. "I'll be here when you want to talk, okay?"

You nodded, then pulled yourself up to sit on his lap sideways, your legs over his. San held you tight against him, keeping his hand on your head to hold you against his chest.

And there you stayed. For who knows how long, crying in the arms of your attentive, caring boyfriend.

You felt safe. And loved.

You were cleaning up after dinner when San came up and hugged you from behind. He kissed your head and nuzzled into your neck.

"Dinner was wonderful, angel."

"Yeah? I thought it could've been better."

"No, no, I really liked it." He squeezed your waist as he closed his eyes, breathing in your scent. You'd been gone for long hours lately, so San was extra clingy today.

All night, he found some way to touch you, hug you, be with you, anything. He wanted to be at your side, taking care of you, being with you.

And that's what he was doing. No lingering touches on your chest, no kissing on your neck, nothing with an ulterior motive.

San just wanted to hold you. To be with you.

To make sure you feel loved. And you did.

Your boyfriend had made you feel so, so loved.

You turned around in his arms and hugged him back, leaning into his neck. He squeezed you tight.

"San?" You asked softly.

"Yes?"

"I think I love you."

A smile spread across San's face, making his eyes turn to little slits again.

"I think I love you too, angel."

Aaaah, I love fluffy character development like this, it's so cute 🥰 I hope this was good enough for you @malldreamprincess.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez san #choi san #san fluff #san ff #san fanfic

[seodami]

Attention | CSN

Genre: fluff, a bit suggestive

Warning: Sans crazy duality

Pairing: idol!Choi San x flustered reader (gn)

Note: Choi San has literally put me in a spell and I don’t know how- I saw his cyberpunk stage and the video below and I just hdhdudbdldidjk … yes. This is we’re this story was born so enjoy and a good recommendation would be to listen to Collide by Justine Skye and Tyga!

„Y/nnn…“ San almost whined out your name, his body loosely sprawled over you, head in your lap, as you were sitting in his bed while reading an important book for your exam next week. You thought coming over to Sans would help you to finally get yourself together and read this book, you had pushed to the back of your mind for the whole last month. However, you didn’t calculate your boyfriends neediness and requirement of 100% of your attention.

„Play with me? Or just talk? We could also order something and watch a movie, I-„ your eyes momentarily left your page with a sigh, meeting his big shiny ones. God, it was hard staying focused when he looked at you like that - like you were his whole universe. Your hand found Sans soft cheek, patting it with care. You sent him an apologetic look. „Baby, you know I can’t do that right know, no matter how much I want to. It’s only half the book left and then we can do something.“ you tried to argue, eyes staying a little longer than they should, tracing his godshapen face. The pout on his lips really pulling on your fragile heart strings.

„Don’t give me that look, San.“ you sighed once again, finally tearing your eyes away to continue reading. „Is the book that much more interesting than me?“ he murmured, head moving more upward in your lap in order to get into your field of view. You demonstrantly put your book over Sans beautiful face, even though it is the hardest thing ever.

When you feel his fingers trailing it’s way under your shirt on your back, you tried to ignore it. Yet, you had to reread the same line for almost the 10th time to understand it. God, he always did that to get your attention, why did you think in the first place that you could read around this devilish boy?

However, when he started placing small kisses on your belly, you strongly shut the book with a loud noice, giving San a warning look. The boy flinched slightly at the sound, looking up with innocent eyes. Even though guilt bubbled up inside you, you couldn’t dodge your morals and ideals. „San…“ you whispered sternly now, making him pull away with a disappointed sigh. He didn’t look at you, when he got up from the bed muttering a quite ‚I’ll see what’s in the fridge‘.

You stared at the shut door for a few more seconds, almost regretting being so harsh on him. You knew all he wanted was to be together in your shared time, using your shared scarce time to its fullest. But this was important to you. You couldn’t fail this exam, you just couldn’t. So with heavy heart, you continued reading, still not quite 100% with your mind on the matter.

You didn’t know how long you were reading alone in Sans dimmed bedroom or how many times you switched positions to get more comfortable. But when you heard Wooyoungs hysteric highpitched laugh from somewhere in the flat, you got reminded of where exactly you were again. You already missed having your boyfriends presence around you, having his face nuzzled on your tummy, smelling his freshly shampooed hair.

A while later, you heard the quiet squeaking of the door, light peaking in from the hallway. You were too lazy to move as you just had a few more chapters to read, being sprawled on your tummy flat across the sheets. „Sanie…“ you mumbled exhausted, discarding the book opened on the nightstand. You heard his soft voice hum in response, closing your eyes momentarily for a rest. „Can you give me a massage? I’m dying!“ you whined overdramatically, waiting for his touch.

He hummed again, coming over to you, bed dipping down besides you. When he started massaging your back, you sighed in relief, totally relaxing in his touch. However, when he started massaging your shoulders, you were confused by the sensation. It felt as if he was hearing gloves. „Are you wearing gloves?“ you rotated your head slightly to get a better look at the boy above you.

And what you saw let your breath hitch, feeling your heart suddenly palpitate in a rapid manner. God he looked sexy. „W-what are you wearing?!“ your eyes roamed his bare arms over to his black cropped sleeveless top together with a leather harness. You immediately recognised the outfit to be his infamous stage outfit of cyberpunk. And you couldn’t deny the uncountable numbers of fancam you watched of his stage. This man made you literally forget how to speak.

The apparent smirk on his face told you he was enjoying this situation way too much. You flipped over, sitting slightly up to get a better look at your godlike boyfriend. Your mouth opened again, not quite trusting the random chain of words coming out of it. However he send you a dangerous look, putting his index finger teasingly to his lips, signifying for you to be quiet, immediately shutting you up. A pleased smile adorned his lips, making him look a thousand times more sexy.

You knew about his duality all too well by know. His cute adorable self most of the time being exchanged with this breathtaking version of him while performing had always been astonishing to you. But seeing him like this in private and this close up, in these clothes…your heart has proven not to be immune to his charms.

„Well look who’s quiet now…“ he teased you, standing up from his position, stretching his arms over his body. You were sweating way too hard, shamelessly staring even though you knew exactly he was reading you. When his dark eyes met yours, you pretended to look in any other direction, blushing hard. You could feel your cheeks burn when you fumbled with the book besides you, holding it in front of you to hide your embarrassingly red face.

You heard him chuckle deeply, throwing his head back in the process, hand reaching for the book to put it aside once again. You just let him do as he did. „Is my baby blushing?“ he cooed, finger underneath your chin, making eye contact with you.

„You’re so cute.“ he pressed a feathery lingering kiss on your temple. When your hands reached forward to pull him in closer, just wanting to hold him, kiss him, he dodged your grasp, smiling in the process as he tutted disapprovingly with his finger. „No y/n you need to stay focused and keep reading.“ he almost giggled, you could see it. Now it was your turn to pout. „But Sanie-“ you started but quickly got silenced by his intense stare, eyebrow quirking up.

God he was a little devil, he really was, but he was also the most gorgeous man alive. „So now I got your attention, mh?“ he tried to hide his grin. Your pout grew bigger, big sad eyes looking up at him, hands reaching out towards him. „Please?“ you whispered, desperate to have him in your arms. His facade began to crumble the moment your eyes began to glisten. Oh, he was so wrapped around your finger in the end.

With a few steps he closed the distance and let you pull him into a tight embrace, arms clasped around his chest. „You will be the literal death of me y/n.“ he mused, discarding his glove to stroke through your hair and over your cheeks, pressing a row of small kisses onto them. You slowly tried to steady your frantic heartbeat, hands grasping his bare upper arm, drawing small mindless shapes along.

„I’m sorry for earlier. I know I was too snappy.“ you mumbled into his neck, goosebumps running over Sans back when you pressed a small kiss on the spot. „It’s okay. I got my revenge now.“ he giggled, looking at your face for a moment with a content expression. Your eyes fell on his lips, letting him immediately know your next step. Still having fun teasing you, he quickly pulled away as your lips came closer to his. The confused look in your eyes made him giggle once again, mumbling a ‚just kidding‘, before pressing his plump lips onto yours.

„You know, you should wear that more often…“ you muttered absent minded while you snuggled closer into his chest, cuddling under the blanket later that evening. „Makes you look very sexy…“ you admitted way too fast. He chuckled at your comment, kissing your head, arms tightly around your frame. „Noted.“

#kpop #kpop imagines #imagines #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagine #ateez timestamps #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez #ateez fic #ateez san #choi san #san #san fic #san ff #san imagines #san fanfic #choi san fluff #choi san fanfic #choi san ff #choi san fic #ateez suggestive #ateez san fanfic #ateez san fluff #ateez san scenarios #ateez san imagines #san ateez #ateez choi san

[mi-rae07]

i am craving some angst san pleasseee

Choi San : Love Again

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Yoon So-Hee)

_________________

Synopsis : Choi san lost his love in a car accident a few years ago, and he vowed never to love anyone again the way he loved her. But then yoon so-hee enters his life and turns everything around. But will he ever get over his dead love? Will he ever be able to love again?

___________________

A/n : This is a bit long and too rushed but I am currently in the middle of exams PLUS I didn't wanna make two parts out of this so here it is.

___________________

Sohee let out a breath, leaning back against the sofa as she stared into the blank TV screen. It had been 3 hours since she had been waiting for san to come back home from work, and it was now 2am but he still wasn't here. But why was she still not worried? Because sohee was used to this.

San once loved a lady named lee soya, to the point where they had been engaged. They had been in a relationship for 10 years when soya had gotten into a car accident and passed away. And with her went a part of san's heart, because ever since then he had changed completely. He had loved soya for so long, he didn't really know how to live without doing so. And when she had gone, he had promised he would never love anyone ever again.

Sohee had caused the breaking of that promise of his. Because 5 years after soya's death, san had met sohee. And she had been his pill, the pill that took his mind away from soya, but never his heart. Throughout the span of sohee's and san's 5 year relationship, there wasn't a day soya hadn't been brought up. It could be through many ways but she was almost always a part of their relationship.

San had never truly been sohee's.

Sohee looked up as the door to their penthouse was heard opening, sohee quickly standing up as she rushed towards san who had just entered drenched from the rain outside. Sohee wrapped her arms around his neck before hugging san close towards her, resting her forehead on his shoulder as she whispered

Sohee : please don't let go.

San sighed and gripped his work bag tighter in his hand, letting sohee do whatever she wanted. Except that wasn't what she wanted.

Sohee : aren't you going to hug me back?

San : I'm tired, sohee.

Sohee pulled back from the hug, her dress now wet from san's rain-drenched clothes as well. Sohee held san's cheek as she asked

Sohee : why are you wet, san?

San : forgot my umbrella.

San stepped away from sohee before walking towards their bedroom, his head lowered. Sohee knew he was lying, she knew he had once again gone to visit soya's grave.

Sohee : san-ah?

San paused on his tracks, waiting for sohee to continue

Sohee : I missed you today.

San waited for a few more seconds before walking faster towards their room, leaving sohee behind with teary eyes.

_____________________________

Sohee entered their room after half an hour, needing that time to collect herself. But right as she saw what was in front of her, all of that washed away. San was sitting on their bed looking through photos of probably soya and him on his phone, a small smile on his face.

San had never smiled at sohee, she had never made him smile the way soya always did even after she was dead.

Sohee : does that make you happy?

San closed his phone as soon as sohee said that, his smile disappearing completely. Sohee sighed before closing the door behind her, walking up to san and taking the towel that was lying on the bed before wiping san's head with it gently

Sohee : you still don't know how to dry your hair properly.

San said nothing.

Sohee : how was work?

San : fine.

Sohee : did you get any new deals?

San : a couple.

Sohee nodded, keeping the towel away as she asked

Sohee : are you uh, free tomorrow?

San : why?

Sohee : I wanted to go on a date with you.

San paused at that, yet another date that sohee initiated. He still couldn't understand why sohee wasn't tired of him already.

Sohee : just dinner outside, that's all. Or do you not want to do that?

There was nothing he didn't want to do with sohee, he was just scared. But he supposed he didn't mind a dinner.

San : okay.

And with nothing more to say san laid back down on the bed, his eyes closing. Sohee sighed and got on the bed as well, using her elbow to prop herself up as she ran her hand along san's damp hair. San let out a small sigh in comfort, his tongue running over to wet his dry lip. Sohee caught sight of that, feeling the sudden need to kiss him.

And so she leaned forward, connecting her lips with san's as she kissed him. And as it always had been, san did not kiss her back. Instead he laid still, letting her do whatever she wanted. Sohee felt frustration grip her at that, the kisses getting harder and more painful for san as sohee's eyes filled with tears.

Sohee pulled back as she tasted blood in her mouth, a drop of her tear falling on san's cheek as sohee sat up straight. Her eyes landed on san's lower lip that now had a small cut on it, his eyes trained on hers as he said

San : are you happy now?

Sohee let out a shaky breath and stood up before walking out of the room and towards the terrace.

________________________

San woke up the next day, his sleepy eyes looking around to find sohee. And once he saw her nowhere in the room he sat up straight, feeling alarmed. San rushed out the room as he felt panic take over him, hoping he would find her where he thought he would. And as soon as he opened the door to their terrace, he did.

The sun was just rising, but it cast enough sunlight already for san to see sohee lying fast asleep out in the open. Her face looked pale from the cold and her lips were chapped dry. It was November after all.

San rushed up to sohee, holding her arm as he flinched at how cold it felt. What the hell did she think she was doing?

San : sohee!

Sohee let out a small groan, that coming out broken. San cursed under his breath and lifted her up from the ground, that causing sohee to wake up as she looked up at san who was now rushing inside to warmth.

Sohee : s-san?

San : what the hell were you doing out in the open like that?

Sohee frowned as she said groggily

Sohee : I just…I wanted to see the stars-

San : fuck the stars.

Sohee stared at san as he laid her back in bed, rushing to increase the temperature of the room heater as he came back towards sohee with concerned eyes

Sohee : what are you doing?

San : trying to get you warm, can't you see?

Sohee : but-but why?

San : because you're bloody freezing yoon sohee! Do you want to die from the cold?

Sohee : no but it's not like you would care, is it?

San : what?

Sohee : even if I died, I'm sure you'd still prefer her grave over mine.

San felt his heart drop at her harsh words. And only when san's eyes reflected hurt did sohee understand the effect her words had on him. But before she could say anything san stood up from the bed, walking towards the door with clenched hands. Sohee mumbled a no as she stood up from her bed with wobbly legs, rushing towards san as she held his arm with her cold hands

Sohee : I'm so sorry.

San : let go of me.

Sohee : san, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean it, it just came out suddenly-

San : I'm not angry at you, sohee. Let me go so I can get you something to eat.

Sohee paused, letting go of san's hand as he turned around and said with a blank face

San : I know I do not have the right to get angry at you after all that I have done, so I won't.

Sohee could only stare as san walked out of the room. And she thought, he didn't even feel an emotion with me. Not even anger, let alone love or concern.

______________________________

A day later :

San stared at sohee who was sitting right in front of him, eating her dinner quietly. She looked beautiful tonight, san thought. Maybe too beautiful for someone like him. He used to be beautiful once, when he had soya. And then he had lost her and he had lost himself completely. And he thought he would always stay that way until he met the woman in front of him. For her, he was probably the same as he had been when she first saw him 5 years ago. But for san, he knew the changes she had made in him.

From the smallest things like washing his face and taking care of his skin, to buying clothes and other items for himself, to even bigger things like being able to focus on work once again and talk to people without feeling like dying, she was slowly bringing san back. Except she didn't know that, and san didn't tell her.

Because he didn't know what that would mean. Because for his entire life he had only loved soya, and he always thought it would be only her in his life. But then what were these things he felt for sohee? Why did he feel like if he lost her, he would lose himself completely? Sohee was the only anchor in his life, and if she was gone, so would he.

San looked up as the waiter came back once again with food, placing it on the table. He accidentally dropped a spoon as he knelt down to pick it up, san looking over at the food instead. But just as he was about to pick a bowl up, he felt sohee take the glass of wine from the table before throwing it at the waiter.

The people around gasped, the waiter looking furious at the drink spilled all over him.

San : sohee!

Sohee : you fucking pervert.

San looked at sohee with wide eyes as she stood up, glaring at the waiter who now seemed to look slightly taken aback

Sohee : you think you can touch me under the table like that and get away? I'm going to get you fired, you bastard.

Waiter : I didn't do anything!

Sohee : HOW DARE YOU LIE-

San : sohee, stop!

Sohee looked at san as he stood up, holding her arm before saying

San : stop making a scene, there are people here.

Sohee : san, he touched me! He's been looking at me inappropriately this entire time-

San : it doesn't matter right now, let's just leave.

Sohee looked like someone had thrown a brick at her.

Sohee : choi san.

San looked over at the waiter before pulling out money from his pocket, handing it over to him.

San : for your shirt, and also for the food. We're sorry.

And before the waiter could say anything more san walked out of the restaurant, dragging a raging sohee behind him. And as soon as they were in the parking lot sohee shook herself off of san, glaring at him with hurt eyes

Sohee : what the fuck was that!

San : that was a high rated restaurant, sohee. We're supposed to be keeping certain manners-

Sohee : SAN HE TOUCHED ME INAPPROPRIATELY!

San : you don't just throw a wine at him in front of everyone like that-

Sohee : YOU MAY NOT FEEL ANYTHING BUT I FUCKING DO!

San paused as sohee stared at him with her teary eyes. Oh no, was he making her cry?

San : sohee-

Sohee : NO! NO YOU…I thought you would notice that man looking at me in that disgusting manner and the things he was doing with me on that table. I thought…I thought you would do something about it but you did nothing, san. And then when he touched my leg like that I couldn't…I couldn't just sit there and let him harass me like that!

That wasn't what san had meant to do, fuck it. San stared at sohee as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Sohee : I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FUCKING CARE, SAN, BUT YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T CARE EVEN IF I'M BEING HARASSED, OR PLAYED WITH! YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME!

San felt his heart tear apart at her words. He wanted to scream that none of those were true but he didn't, he kept quiet. Sohee let out a small sob as she said

Sohee : why am I not enough? Why do you keep pushing me away for soya! Why do you keep doing this to me!

San pressed his lips together as sohee pushed him away from her, sobs falling from her lips as she said

Sohee : why won't you protect me, why won't you care for me, WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME CHOI SAN!

San clenched his hands, letting sohee do whatever she wanted. But again, that only backfired. Sohee stepped back, wiping her tears harshly as she said

Sohee : take me back to that place of yours.

Sohee turned and walked towards their car, opening the back door as she got in the back seat of the car instead. San blinked his eyes to stop the tears from forming as he thought, "that place of yours". She couldn't even call it her home.

_____________________________

San did not have the guts to utter a word after that. The car was filled with sohee's small sniffles, each of them breaking san further apart. And once they got back home, sohee had rushed into their bedroom and locked the door shut, leaving san all alone. And so now he was lying on the guestroom floor, staring up at the ceiling as tears streamed down his eyes.

He hated that he didn't notice that man ogling his girlfriend, he hated that he reacted the way he did when sohee was touched inappropriately. What san had meant to do was destroy that man's life, not at that moment, but after they had got back home. Because just firing him wasn't going to do the job. San was going to fire him and make sure he gets no job in any other restaurants in the future, san was powerful enough to do that. He was powerful enough to ruin that man's life.

That was what he had meant to do, but now sohee had thought something else of his reaction, and rightfully so.

San picked up his phone as he opened the gallery, going through the photos of sohee he had taken secretly these past years. From photos of her sleeping like a baby to the small dates they had went on, sohee had no idea san took these pictures. But for san, they were his most prized possession. San felt a smile spread on his face at the photos of sohee smiling, her happiness bringing him happiness.

Just the other night sohee had caught san looking through her photos. Except she thought he was looking through photos of soya, and not her. Sohee probably didn't even think san could be smiling while looking at her photos and not soya's.

He felt nothing for her? Bullshit. He didn't want to protect her, or care for her or love her? Nonsense. He wanted to give her the entire world, but he was scared. Scared of losing her as he had lost soya.

_________________________________

San woke up in the morning, feeling his entire body ache from having slept on the cold floor last night. San walked out of the room to go to their room, his face turning into a frown as he realized the room was wide open, the bed already made.

Sohee never made the bed.

San rushed inside and opened the nearby cupboard, his eyes widening as he realized all of sohee's things were gone. San felt his heart beat faster as he noticed a note lying on the bedside, quickly rushing up to it as he opened the note and read through it

"I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving. Don't come after me, please."

San let out an exasperated sob as he looked around, the room looking empty without sohee's things lying in every corner. It looked like it had when soya had died and her parents had taken her things away. It looked like it had been when san was all alone in the world, not having anyone or anything else.

And with another sob san fell on the floor, sohee's note crumpled in his trembling hand.

__________________________________

A day later :

Sohee flinched as her apartment's doorbell rang, keeping her ice-cream tub away as she walked up to the door and opened it. But as soon as she saw who it was she shut the door, locking it.

San : no no please! Sohee, let me in.

Sohee : I told you not to come after me.

San : don't leave me like this! Please let me talk.

Sohee : there is nothing to talk about. We're done, san.

San : no we cannot be! I cannot let you leave! Please please open the door!

Sohee : go away, san.

San : sohee I don't love her anymore. I just…I've been meaning to tell you but I didn't, and I'm sorry. But you need to know I don't love soya the way I once did anymore-

Sohee : you're so pathetic, san. All this while I was with you, you felt everything for her and nothing for me. But now that I'm gone? You suddenly don't love her anymore?

Sohee heard san's sniffles from the other side, that being the first time she had ever heard him cry. San never showed his feelings in front of anyone. Sohee did not say anything.

San : I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier, I'm sorry I didn't do anything earlier. I'm sorry for yesterday, for not having done anything for you, I'm so sorry sohee.

Sohee : your sorries will not make me come back. This is the end of us, choi san.

Sohee ignored san's pleads as she walked away from the door, san's cries getting fainter as she moved further away from it. It hurt sohee, hearing him beg and cry like that just to talk to her.

But he had lost her, and he wasn't going to get her back so easily.

___________________________________

2 weeks later :

Sohee was in the supermarket picking out groceries when she bumped right into someone. Sohee was about to apologize when she looked up and realized who that someone was. And she immediately regretted ever having stepped out of her house today.

Sohee : no.

San : sohee!

Sohee walked past san, her head lowered. San didn't even look like san anymore. He looked drained, his eyes grey under and his face pale. His usually moisturized lips were now dried and chapped, his body looking like it hadn't been fed properly this past week. But she shouldn't care.

San ran after her hurriedly, once again pleading

San : oh no no, please listen to me.

Sohee did not say anything, only walked faster towards the exit.

San : sohee I swear, I've loved you for a long time. I-I know it might be hard to believe but I stopped loving soya the way I did, a few years ago. It just took me time to get used to loving someone other than her-

Sohee : stop with your bullshit, choi san.

Sohee stepped out of the store and onto the side-walk, wanting to go back home. San still followed.

San : I'm sorry I didn't say all this sooner. I was a coward, I'm really sorry-

San cut himself off with a yelp as he tripped over a stone on the ground, falling on the floor as he bruised his palm. Sohee turned around with worried eyes and was about to walk over to san when she realized she wasn't supposed to care anymore. And so she stood in her place, just staring at san.

San pressed his lips together as he noticed blood pooling around the wound, looking away as he stood up shakily and said

San : please don't leave again. Please, sohee, don't leave me all alone.

Sohee : you left me all alone when you wanted to. Why can't I do the same?

San looked at sohee in exasperation, not knowing how to answer that.

Sohee : if you can fuck me up, if you can destroy me and love someone else when you were in a relationship with me, the least I can do is leave you for it.

San : sohee-

Sohee : do not, fight with me choi san. I am not coming back to you.

And san could only watch with teary eyes as sohee turned around and left.

_____________________________________

3 months later :

San had not given up, in fact, as days passed he only increased the number of gifts and letters that he kept sending to sohee. Sohee had new flowers to put into her vase every single day of the week, and the amount of plastic wrappers she had to throw away on a weekly basis were plain concerning.

Now she was driving towards her apartment, her mind in a haze from the problem she was facing at work. And the more she thought about it, the less attention she paid to the road in front of her. And soon enough she saw a car coming towards her at a fast pace, the people around screaming something sohee couldn't really hear. And before either of them could do anything about it, both the cars had crashed into each other, causing sohee's head to bang against the airbags that had just exploded during the impact.

Sohee felt her head swirl from the sudden hit, her shaky hands gripping the steering wheel as she noticed the man from the other car get out swiftly, unharmed but still looking shocked. Before sohee could do the same the door to her side burst open, revealing a panting san who already had tears in his eyes. Oh no.

Sohee : s-san.

San : oh no no no. no no, sohee can you hear me?

Sohee blinked her eyes, her head still in a haze. San lifted her from the seat shakily and lowered the both of them to the ground, holding sohee's cheek as san's tears streamed down his cheeks freely.

He felt like he was getting stabbed.

San : no please please, don't leave me.

Sohee : san-

Sohee cut herself off as she felt a droplet of blood trickle down her head, falling down her cheeks as san's eyes widened at it

San : no you're bleeding! Blood-

Sohee : san, it's just a small cut-

San : NO! NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME TOO!

Sohee paused as she understood what was going on. Soya had died in a car accident as well, and seeing the blood and the way sohee was right now, it probably triggered san's fear of losing someone.

Sohee : s-san, I promise I'm alright.

San sobbed at her words, shaking his head as he said

San : I should've known. I should've known I kill everyone around me.

Sohee held san's trembling hand in hers as she tried to calm him down

Sohee : san-ah, san look at me. See? I'm okay, it's just a small cut.

San hiccuped as sohee sat up straighter, holding san's wet cheek in her hand as she whispered

Sohee : I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here.

San let out a small whimper as sohee connected his forehead with hers, laying her other hand against san's thumping chest as she whispered softly

Sohee : I would never leave you, choi san.

______________________________________

Sohee looked over at san who was sitting on the sofa opposite the hospital bed she was currently sitting on, his head lowered and his face distant. It had been this way for half an hour now, sohee trying to focus on the book she was supposed to read while san dazed away right in front of her. But she couldn't anymore, she shut the book close.

Sohee : san?

San did not move an inch, he wasn't even listening.

Sohee : san, listen to me.

San flinched at that, quickly looking up as he blinked his eyes at sohee

San : w-what?

Sohee : where the hell are you?

San looked away, his hands clenched against his lap as he shook his head.

Sohee : are you still scared?

San did not say anything. Sohee stood up from the bed, walking over to the sofa as she kneeled down in front of san

San : no you need to-

Sohee : I asked you a question, san. Are you still scared?

San let out a shaky breath as he muttered

San : I almost always am.

Sohee : why? Why are you always scared?

San : because of what happened today, sohee. It can…It can happen again, any time. And maybe it won't be as harmless as this was. And maybe I might…I might be left alone in this world all over again.

Sohee stared at san, her eyes softening as tears glistened in his eyes.

San : I just want to be happy, sohee. But I keep…I keep messing everything up. Soya she…she got into a car accident the night we argued. And you…you were in that car after our fight as well so I thought you-you would-

Sohee : san-ah, I'm not her. This, nothing's happened to me, okay? I can't promise you nothing ever will but I can promise you I will live my life carefully. For you, I will.

San looked at sohee, her eyes staring right into san's as she laid her palm against his cheek

Sohee : you have to stop torturing yourself like this, san. You deserve to love again, you deserve to be loved, you deserve the whole world. But I can only do so much. Without your heart or your mind, I cannot love you, san.

San : please come closer to me?

Sohee pressed her lips together as she got up, san pulling her towards his lap as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head into her shoulder.

San : I want…I want us back. I don't want to lose you, I really don't. I may need time to heal but I can only do so with you by my side.

Sohee : san-

San : I know I have a thousand apologies to say, a million things to make up to you, but I will do it. I will do it as long as you stay by my side. So please. Please don't leave again.

Sohee sighed, resting her head against the side of san's head as she whispered

Sohee : I will stay, san. As long as you don't do this again, I will stay.

San inhaled deeply, kissing sohee's neck as he said

San : thank you. And I love you, sohee.

And that was the first of the many times Choi San uttered those words to Yoon Sohee. Because after all, she had made him love again, when he never thought he would.

__________________________________

#ateez angst #ateez fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #ateez ff #kpop ff #angst #fluff #ff #ateez #choi san #san angst #san fluff #san au #san fanfic #san ff #san imagine #san imagines #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic

[biaswreckingfics]

For the prompt drabble request (again)

San - ateez & 48, 90, 107

San + Fluff/Crack -Idk how, but we ended up going straight for the crack fic, but we're here🥴🥴-

(Of course, I've noticed. I notice everything about you. + If you want to keep sitting on my lap, you have to stop wiggling around like that. + You're so cute when you're struggling.)

The party feels like it's been going on for hours. You would've gone home ages ago if your bosses hadn't required everyone to be here. The least they could've done is make sure everyone had enough chairs to sit on. Your feet are killing you, and you swear this is the last time you wear these stupid shoes. They're cutting into your feet and you can already imagine the blisters you're going to have.

Bouncing back and forth, you scan the room to check if your bosses are still here. Amid the scanning, you notice someone waving you over. San, the cutie from the floor above you. Half of your company has a crush on the man.

Curious about what he wants, you make your way over to him while trying to keep the pain off of your face. "Hey. What's up?"

"This might be highly inappropriate, but if you need to sit down, you're more than welcome to sit on my lap."

Surprised, you glance at the people around you before you look back at him. "You're offering me a seat on your lap?"

"It just looks like your feet are bothering you." He glances down at your shoes then looks back up at your face. "I'd give you my seat, but I tweaked my knee, so I'm not much better at standing."

It suddenly makes a lot more sense why he's not just giving you his chair and is instead offering a virtual stranger a seat on his lap.

"You noticed?"

"Of course, I noticed. I notice everything about you." He pauses after the words come out and grimaces. "That sounded a lot creepier out loud than it did in my head. I just meant that I've noticed you around the office. A lot."

A laugh comes out of you and you find yourself looking at him in amusement. He's cute, seems sweet, and might be funny, so you shrug your shoulders. What the hell? Why not?

Actually sitting on his lap is awkward at first, but San cracks joke after joke and you quickly find yourself relaxing. Your first impression of him seems spot on. He doesn't try anything weird, and a lot of people you respect come up and talk to the two of you. Suddenly, you're glad you weren't able to leave the party earlier. You're having way too much fun with San.

The later the night gets, the less classy the music becomes. You find yourself bopping along to the songs, enjoying yourself after having maybe a little too much wine. It takes you a little bit to realize how stiff San has become. When you do, you turn back to him and ask if he's okay.

He gives you a tight smile. "If you want to keep sitting on my lap, you have to stop wiggling around like that."

You blink at him in confusion for a moment before your eyes widen in shock. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry!"

Abruptly standing up, you nearly fall over your own feet. San grabs you before you can get very far and places you right back on his lap. You push against him to get off, but his arms wrap around your waist.

"It's okay. I just said it to make sure you're a little more careful."

"San, really. I can stand for a little while. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," you attempt to stand up again but he doesn't let you go.

With his arms wrapped tightly around you, he says, "You're so cute when you're struggling."

You pause in your movements and look back at him with an odd look. It takes a second before he realizes the words that came out and his eyes widen in panic.

"Wait, that sounded even more creepy than before. I promise I'm not a weirdo!"

#san drabble #san fluff #san au #san scenarios #san fic #san fanfic #san ff #san imagines #choi san au #choi san scenarios #choi san ff #choi san fanfic #choi san fic #choi san fluff #choi san imagine #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez ff

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Eleven: Friends Are There Through Thick And Thin

Chapter summary: You hear San out, which leads to an unexpectedly difficult talk for the both of you. Things are shifting, and neither of you don’t know what to do.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Series Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, mentions of ptsd, anxiety, hints to sleep paralysis, Word count: 5.1k+ A 365 Days parody

A/N: I’m back from my hiatus and my god I missed this so much 😭😭 this chapter’s a bit angsty but the next one will make up for it, I promise.

Previous: Chapter Ten

For the rest of the series, click here

Speech and bracketed speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech and bracketed speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

“The first time I met the Jeong family was shortly after Ma died,” San began, in a low relaxed tone as if he was talking about what he had for lunch yesterday. “I was quite young, but my father was grief-stricken and I stepped up to support him. He didn’t want me to but he wasn’t as strong as he used to be in arguments with me after her passing, so he just let me learn the trades of our business.”

He chuckled darkly, rubbing the tip of his thumb along the soft plush of his lower lip. “Should’ve listened to him,” he admitted with a hint of regret in his voice and a darkness in his eye you recognised from your own reflection. “Should’ve stayed a kid a little bit longer like Ma wanted me to and not want to be the hero that could fix everything like she seemed to do.”

His deep gaze bore into you for a few beats until he spoke once more. “The first time I met the Jeong family, the patriarch was beating the ever living shit out of his own son.”

You tried your best not to freeze, and although you knew of the treatment Yunho had endured there, it certainly felt a whole lot different hearing it from someone else. Hearing it from San.

He noticed your shift and gently grasped your hand over the table, running his thumb soothingly against your knuckles to try and ease the horror he could feel building inside you.

“My dad,” he resumed in that detached tone again, “had grown up with a horrible mother and an even worse father. When he met Ma, he was still a bit of a...’fixer upper’. But he changed. Said he wanted to give himself a reason for her to be proud of loving him, a reason she would want to call him her husband when the time came for him to propose--and most importantly, he was just so tired of hating his own soul. Wanted to love it as much as she did.”

A soft, intimate smile played against his lips for a brief moment. “Once, she told me that loving him came as easy as breathing.” His eyes flickered to yours, so much weight behind them, and his hand that held yours seared with a heat you couldn’t find yourself to pull away from.

“By the time they had me, they were very clear on what morals I was to have. And neither of them stopped drilling it into me until their dying breath.” San chuckled humourlessly. “Sometimes I still hear their ghosts whisper it into my ears, in the gentle way they spoke.”

His eyes closed as he recounted one of the last things he ever heard his father say all the way back in Santorini five years ago. “(We too have morals. There are some lines we must never cross.) One of them was that family and friends were sacred. You can’t hurt them. Can’t fix them through pain.” 

You do your best not to think of Isaac but his face flashes for the briefest of moments in your mind and you hate yourself all the more for it.

His eyes shut more tightly as if trying to stop seeing the memory once more, a shuddering breath released from his lungs. “I’ve seen and done some horrible shit, Y/N, but what I saw that day? Fucking hell. No child should ever have to suffer that much, never mind at the hands of one of the few people in this cruel world that was supposed to protect him.”

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as memories resurfaced for you too--of Yunho and his breakdowns, of the scars that littered every inch of his torso, of the slight limp in his left leg and occasional shoulder pain from broken bones that never managed to set quite right. Memories of that sweet, sweet boy made of sunshine and smiles consumed in nightmarish slumber, still trying to fight off the ghosts of his past that felt all too real to him. Frozen. Unable to move. Unable to protect himself.

San may have seen part of the actual abuse Yunho had to endure, but Y/N had to witness for the past five years how he tried so damn hard to not slip back down, even if it sometimes oozed out of the cracks in the walls he built. And Seonghwa? Jesus, Seonghwa was the one who who truly saw it all--how it almost broke Yunho, how he almost broke himself to try to get away from his own mind.

Guilt resurfaced as a heavy knot in your throat, imagining Yunho starting to slip back again. There were triggers but he’d worked well to cope in a healthy way, they all supported him in managing his responses, in helping him re-associate some of those triggers with better, nicer things. But being this close again? God, you should really go back home, end all of this.

But you need to do this. Yunho needs you to do this much at least.

“Y/N,” San coaxes you away from your thoughts, and if he noticed that you disappeared for a few moment, he did not mention it. “I care for you. More than any person on this earth. Would travel through the nine circles of hell and back to protect you. You know that right?”

Strangely, you did. From the reverent way he looks at you, holds your hand, speaks to you. Faking something like that must have needed intervention from some higher being. Without another thought, you nod.

“Good. So you know that I want to keep you far away from things that may harm you. I’m already a dangerous person with many enemies but the Jeong family have a darkness I couldn’t bare to have you near.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, San,” you whisper, voice feeling fragile in such a raw moment. “Got plenty of darkness in me already.”

He looks at you with this sad sort of smile. “I know. Wanna kiss you for being so strong and scorch the world for not stopping itself from hurting you.” He brings the hand still in his own up to his lips, letting it brush along the slightly rough skin in the barest of kisses as if content with feeling the warmth of your soul through your very fingertips. “I’ve been around enough sorrow to know when there is still goodness in something and you have so much goodness in you despite what you’ve been through.”

He pauses.

“Maybe one day you’ll find enough comfort with me to confide in it all. But until then, let me shield you from the unnecessary pain.”

You don’t remember how much time passes as the words seep into your very heart and bones and soul. While the very concept of being cared for and shouldering the burden you carry has always been an unspoken rule between your family and even more so the boys, you’ve never had someone say that to you and it feels almost overwhelming to hear it. As if your brain is having a hard time processing the fact that here is someone on this godforsaken earth who cares for you as deeply as San does and would want to stay by you side in spite of all of that.

In spite of the damage to your soul and pieces missing from your heart.

Even while you were with Dominic, there was a side of you that you felt was unworthy of being seen--shameful even--though it wasn’t you fault. You still had to keep guards up sometimes even with Mingi, and in this very room where the outside world with every messy thing that came with it was just noise far down below, you started to feel the toll it took on you. The energy is sucked out of you, the weight of keeping it up all the time.

Suddenly, confiding in Choi San didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

But then you remembered that some of the bricks that made up that wall you held up against him weren’t yours to share with him.

“There’s...” Tongue flickering out to lick your lips, you’re unsure of how to phrase this in a way that won’t divulge in too much information, “I just...” You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. God, why was your heart racing that fast?

San could tell the conundrum you were going through. Went through the same after all, with how much he could divulge you with for he too had walls built up and for good reason.

He took the initiative. “You asked about Jeong Yunho specifically... why?”

“I wanted to know what you knew about him.” But neither of you mentioned how from the crumbs San gave you, both of you knew that Yunho was the boy he was talking about. Stiffening the air like dust in an abandoned house.

“Why?” he repeated.

Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. Damn it, you were good at this. Good at coming up with shit on the spot--why isn’t your brain working right now? Why do you want to tell him the truth? That truce between you two is starting to shrivel up, walls pushing back up again--

“Remember, Y/N, I can’t give you an answer if you don’t give me a good enough reason in return.” San’s last plea to get you to open up so he could do the same.

You pull your hands from his grasp to run through your hair, and the walls start to go up even higher the both of you can feel it.

Blowing a frustrated breath out you get up from your seat, turn your back to him as you make your way to your nightstand.

The man lets his face crumble as his heart drops in his stomach all the while he watches you walk away from him both physically and mentally. He leans back into the chair, feeling--for the first time in a long time--defeated.

He sees you grab the glass of water on your nightstand and finish the whole thing in a few big gulps. He wants to tell you to be careful, that you’ll choke, but his voice is caught in his tight throat unable to come out.

Setting the glass back down, you take a moment before you turn back to him. There’s something in your eyes that tells him, maybe your wall isn’t fully up yet. There’s some cracks. And then you ask him, in a soft voice, “stay with me the night?” You try to regain some playfulness by narrowing your eyes in a mock glare. “No funny business.”

He musters up as much of a smile as he can at the moment--it’s weak and tired, but there’s the remnants of that brief truce there. He doesn’t speak and neither do you as he walks to the opposite side of the bed and crawls in with you.

You both lie on your backs, you looking up at the ceiling while he looks at you. Making no move to touch you, not even move closer to you.

You close your eyes, letting him gaze at you with those curiously sad eyes of his. So attuned to his breathing, you can tell even when a lot of time--or a little, you can’t tell as the concept doesn’t seem to exist in this room right now, but it feels like a lot--he still hasn’t fallen asleep yet. His thoughts are loud but not loud enough for you to hear them.

He feels the same way about you. Knows that you’re awake, mind running with thoughts that escape him and damn it fucking hurts to be this shut out from you.

You want to speak the words--any words to him or at least intertwine one of your fingers with his. To show some semblance that things have changed, that you have not shut him out completely like he might think.

But at one point, you lose the mental battle and fall into a dreamless sleep.

When you wake, San is nowhere to be found. You’re curled up facing where he would be and feel around to notice that the spot is cold and that side of the bed is made. He’s been gone for a while, you confirm once you notice the time on your phone, because it is almost one in the afternoon and he must have had business to attend to.

That didn’t stop the faint pang inside you at his sudden absence after last night.

Groaning, you roll you body up, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes while you think how could things change so much for you in such a short space of time since you met San.

His crazy seems to be rubbing off on you, since you feel some kind of attachment to him? Or at least, you feel a little more empty when he is not there. Jesus, at this rate, you might actually want to stay with him by the end of the year.

You find that thought terrifying, though not as all-consuming as you expected it to feel. Like the kind of terror that came with standing at the edge of a cliff that you can just as easily back away from into the safety of land rather than stare at the rough dark waters crashing on jagged rocks below.

You have been through enough shit to know when you really need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. And right now you need to talk to someone.

Run through the talking points in your head as you freshen up in the bathroom, already knowing that today feels like a pyjama day. You feel sick just thinking about the idea of talking about your feelings, that familiar sense of dread curdling in your stomach. So you don’t leave the confines of your bedroom for a late breakfast--you can barely think of stomaching the smell of breakfast.

Cold sweats lace your palms as you click on Mingi’s contact on your phone, practice some level breathing as ringing presses against your ear. It doesn’t take long for you to hear his voice.

“Hey, wassup?”

“Hey,” you try to say confidently but it comes out as a strangled whisper from the funny feeling in your throat.

A pause, and then, “What happened?”

The instinctive answer comes out despite all the mental preparation. “Nothing.”

“Y/N, what happened?”

“Nothing...”

He sighs, “The last time you answered the phone like this and I played along, you were in a horrible situation. I’m not making that mistake again. Now tell me, what happened?”

You don’t know why but hot fat tears spill from your eyes in quick succession against your will. Silent as they come, you know he can tell. He was always able to. “Mingi, I don’t know what to do,” you whisper as it all comes crashing down on you.

“It’s been weeks since everything’s happened and I don’t know why but it’s all come crashing down and I just don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, that okay,” he coaches, “Just grab onto the closest threat. Start from there. Bit by bit.”

“I just,” you try to take deep breaths and make a clumsy attempt to explain the pent up emotions, “it’s so stupid but it only really just hit me how much Dominic hurt, you know? I didn’t love him but I did like him and just... being treated like that, like I’m nothing of worth fucking hurt. It was the first time I was with someone since...him and it ended up hurting me again and I swore I would never let my heart get hurt again and...and--”

You pause. Breathe.

“And then there’s what I’m putting Yunho through simply by being here with San, all because I wanted to escape my problems and feelings again. I can barely even do my job right because I can’t get a straight answer out of him--or any of the others because they’re tight-knit and won’t betray San like that even if it is to shit-talk his ex.”

Not even Wooyoung, who you seemed to have the most rapport with out of the three boys. You tried getting information out of them over the few days San was avoiding you (and admittedly you, him) from the initial bathroom confrontation, but each of them were tight-lipped and you knew without them having to say that San told them to remain that way about the subject.

More waves of fatigue wash over you, and you lift your legs up and rest your forehead on your knees. “And the worst part is, is that San cares about me in a way no one has. At least, not in the same sense you guys do. And it feels different but my brain is telling me it’s the same honey trap all over again. I’m holding myself back from opening up to him, which is the smart move all things considering, but some part of me wants to open up to him and that scares me so damn much.”

Mingi doesn’t interrupt even as you pause again, knowing you well enough to be able to tell when you’ve finished talking and when you’re taking a moment to find the truest words to string together even if it sometimes doesn’t make sense when it is translated from your mind.

“Last night, he came to me and told me that if I wanted answers out of him, I would have to hear why he didn’t want to tell me then tell him why he should tell me.” You sigh. “Mingi, he knows about what they did to Yunho--or at least snippets of what his dad did to him. I’m sure he knows that I know that too because I made the stupid fucking decision to ask about Yunho specifically. He said he didn’t want me near people like that...”

Isaac’s presence filled the silence but neither of you mentioned it.

“He asked me to tell him why I needed to know...and I just...couldn’t. It wasn’t my place and we both kind of shut down on each other and for some fucking reason, it hurt a bit. I just...” You let out another heavy breath. “I don’t know. It feels so messy.”

A beat or two passes before he exhales. “Okay. Yeah, that is pretty fuckin’ heavy.” You smile, breathing out a little amused laugh. “But that’s okay, Y/N. None of this shit ever comes easily.

“First and foremost, before we touch any of that other shit you just said, you need to get it through to your head that you are in absolutely no way, shape, or form, the reason why all this is being dredged up again. You of all people know how the past has a nasty way of catching up to us, and Yunho was going to have to face it sooner or later. Yes, the fact that you’re with San means that it did come sooner, but that doesn’t make it bad whatsoever.

“Yunho has his own demons and we can’t protect him forever, no matter how much we want to. If anything, this couldn’t have come at a better time. Our future isn’t exactly secure in the field we work in so at least it’s coming now when we are all here to support him through his problems and help him grow. But remember, we’re not powerless kids anymore. Yunho knows that too, he’s just trying to get his brain up to speed with it in his own way.”

You want to protest that you can do more, but the words die on your tongue as you tell our brain that Mingi is right. Yunho has to work through his own demons, and you being there to baby him through the process would be more counter-productive than anything.

Mingi clears his throat. “You’re stubborn and a major empath, so I dunno if any of that stuck.”

You smile faintly. “I’m trying to make it.”

“Good. Now, onto the whole spaghetti of emotions you’re having about San and relationships.” He sighs, “you weren’t wrong when you said it was messy. But don’t think for a second that it’s not supposed to be. Your hearts been stomped on to high heaven so I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to give San a chance.” You open your mouth to protest but he already hears the fight coming and cuts it out of the roots, “I know we joked about you falling for San at the beginning and you have this whole aversion to the concept of ‘love’ so for arguments sake, we’ll just say you like him and chalk this situation as Fate being the bitch that it is.”

He hesitates for a moment. “I was actually planning on telling you this later, when you had finally come to terms with your own feelings about the whole Dominic thing but it seems like you did that already--which, by the way, I am very proud of you. Even if it did come out as a part of an emotional explosion since you have a horrible habit of bottling everything in until you’re bursting at the seems.”

“Thanks,” your tone is deadpan with an underlying tone of amusement to it.

“No problem. Anyway, Seonghwa made Yeosang and I do some more research into San--he was doing all this fancy computer wizard shit again and I did some incognito spy shit--and he really doesn’t seem that bad of a person. I mean, yeah, he’s got as much blood on his hands as the next mobster but he just seems to be a nice person? Again, relative to him being part of the mafia world. So if you wanted to open up to him... I mean, I don’t see why not.”

“He could have that side to him, the one he doesn’t show to everyone. He could hurt me.”

“Y/N, don’t take this the wrong way... but that will always be a possibility with anyone you meet--be it a potential friend or partner or whatever. You learn from the pain and mistakes, and recognise the signs more easily if you see them again so you don’t get hurt as badly as the last time. You left Dominic when he cheated on you, recognising that as one of the signs that he didn’t care for you as you wanted him to. You learned from the last time. And what did you learn from Dominic that you’ll keep an eye out for?”

You don’t realise that the tears had stopped until they started again at his gentle tone and careful words. This time, slower. “I wasn’t as important to him as his ego and reputation was. He was very different to how he was in public and how he was in private,” you sniffled, recalling all the times he would try to seem Big and Masculine in from of his friends often at your expense.

It happened on your way to Jeju, when you were struggling with the luggage and he was chatting to his friends about how he was going on a casual holiday, forgetting that it was supposed to be a birthday trip for you and Mingi. Even at the birthday dinner, he tried to make a speech that fed his ego as the Good Boyfriend at the expense of one of the most important people in your life.

“The point is, you can’t be so afraid of being hurt again that you shut everyone out. That’s a painfully slow death you’ll be experiencing. You live, you hurt, you learn, you move on. What did Auntie L/N always say when we were being angsty kids?”

You mouth quirked at the memory of your mother. “Let the negative emotions come, let them teach you, but never let them overstay.” God, you missed her.

“Yeah. You’ve got that wise woman gene from her. Maybe rather than only using it for others, use it for yourself too.”

Sniffles filled in the silence as you let that sink in, silently promising yourself that you would try to do that. That you would try to be kinder to yourself.

“As for the Yunho shit in relation to San...trust your gut. You know what to say and what not to.”

“Okay,” you mumble, feeling another tsunami of fatigue wash over you again now that this is all off your chest. “You said you did some spy shit? Are you Seoul right now?”

“Damn, I was planning on surprising you. Just a few towns over, actually, but still in Choi territory.”

“What if I speak to San? About letting you come here to visit me? I don’t think he’d say no.”

He thinks for a second. “Hm, well I’m gonna see you anyway so you might as well see if you can get a less fun way too I suppose.”

This time your chuckle comes out stronger and once Mingi feels like you’re in a decent mental state, he lets you end the call.

Any second-in-command worth their salt would be attuned to their leader and able to take over the heavy lifting when it was beginning to get too much for them. And Hongjoong was priceless so it didn’t take much for him to sense San’s off mood. He was not as sharp today, was not as focused as he usually was and that was strange in and of itself.

San was always great at compartmentalising and separating his work and personal affairs so they did not bleed into one another--which was a fucking feat considering most of the men in these circles lived and breathed their work life (not a very healthy thing to do) and also the fact that San used to date Jeong Dae who came from a very powerful family in their own right.

There was only one being who could frazzle this impenetrable man.

Wooyoung and Jongho had spent the most time with you and so had begun to take a liking to you--then again, the what they considered to be a nice partner was a line down all the way in the ninth circle of hell after their experience with Dae.

More than anything, he was frustrated because you do seem like a nice person--stuffed full of secrets that you hold tightly to your chest more so than the average person--but he cared more for San’s heath and right now, he looked fucking terrible.

He knew that if the other man got a whiff of how Hongjoong was trying to take care of him, he would get annoyed from being treated like a child. Would try that much harder to take on more of the work. Years of having to deal with him taught him the fine art of how to manipulate the stubborn ass into looking after his own wellbeing but being willing to share some of the workload.

But even masters of craft come along a new situation they are unsure of how to handle once in a while.

“San?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles absentmindedly, staring at sheets of paper the blue-haired man knows for a fact is reading two-three times over just to get the words to make sense to him through the foggy lethargic haze clouding his brain. Could see it in his eyes.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

He takes in a deep breathe. “Uh... not much. Couldn’t sleep.”

“How come?”

“Just...couldn’t.”

He hums in response, not taking his eyes of the sheets in from of him. “I think we both know that’s a lie.”

San slaps his own documents onto his desk, rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Then what do you want me to say? Do you want me to open up and talk about my feelings?”

Hongjoong presses his lips in to a thin line. “That’d be a start...” When he feels San’s growing agitation, he finally looks up at him. “You don’t have to go into detail about anything if you don’t wanna, but dude, you can’t just pretend whatever is on your mind isn’t, ya know?”

His words don’t seem to persuade him to talk, at least he thinks they don’t when the other man picks up the closest sheet of paper next to him...and then throws it back down and sits in a huff back in his chair. “She just... she just won’t open up to me. Like, I’m trying so hard here and there’s that barrier between us. Last night,” his tone softens a little as the memory washed over him, “it seemed like things were shifting. Like she was starting to let me in.”

He take a few seconds to calm the growing irritation he felt. “I extended an olive branch and when it was her turn, she just...shut me out again. I mean, I suppose she tried to offer an alternative by letting me stay with her--” he ignored the other’s raised brows “--but it wasn’t the same.”

Even with the holes and lack of your side of the story, Hongjoong had an idea of the whole situation. “Right, I can’t believe what I’m about to say but...are you sure she’s not totally at fault for that?” He notices the look he sends him. “Okay, hear me out. Imagine you’re in her shoes and some rando just up and kidnapped you. No matter how nicely you treat her, she isn’t going to bare the deepest parts of her soul to you after a few weeks. She’s not trusting, like she’s a... like a...”

He tried to find the right analogy, right at the tip of his tongue, but San beat him to it with a quiet answer. “Like a wounded animal.”

“Uh... Yeah. I think. She’s got that vibe about her, that she’s been hurt before and so keeps herself closed off. And maybe you need to think about yourself too. With what we do, you’re going to have to keep secrets from her--you are keeping secrets from her by being cryptic and not willing to answer her questions. I mean, you’re not entirely wrong for not wanting to tell her about the Jeongs, but do you really think she would want to give up any of those pieces of herself she holds so close to her chest to someone who won’t fully do the same for her?”

Hongjoong has a strong sense you’re a lot more intelligent than what you make yourself seem, but he doesn’t say that. “I don’t know what to do or how to fix your situation--only you and Y/N can do that--but you should at least see her side of things too. And maybe just take it a bit easy when you’re this annoyed because you’re not getting much done and that’s pissing you off even more.”

“...Geez, dude. Okay.” San rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll, uh... are you good with handling this?”

“It’s literally my job.”

“Alright,” he huffs in amusement, then stands up to gather his coat and phone, ready to call his driver to take him back to the apartment. “Oh, and--”

Hongjoong cuts him off without looking back at him. “Yeah, everything’s ready at home. I’ll let the house staff know that we’re coming back this weekend and to make sure it’s all perfect.”

San smiles at him in gratitude. “What would I do without you?”

“Not a damn thing, that’s for sure.”

Yeah, Hongjoong doesn’t need to be told if he’s a good Second. He damn well knows it from the grateful look in his best friend’s eye. That’s enough for him

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby , @sparklychangbin , @asterizee (I think you're @/shawkneecaps I'm sorry if I got that wrong 😭😭), @wooyoungsbxtch , @megjoonyeol , @kpop-khh-writer-trash , @baguette-atiny , 

If you wanna be tagged, feel free to ask! 

#was listening to De Selby pt1 by Hozier throughout most of this #so it got more angsty than I intended #sorry not sorry #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez mafia au #mafia au #mafia!ateez #mafia!san #mafia!choi san #choi san #ateez san #ateez choi san #san x reader #choi san x reader #mafia!choi san x reader #san fanfic #choi san fanfic #san ff #choi san ff #fluff #angst #crack #One Year #One Year series

[mintgki]

╰☆☆ ᗰIᑎTGKI’ᔕ ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

Welcome to the bar, what can I get for you?

╰☆☆K.HJ

- Off Guard (Reporter!Hongjoong x Fencer!Reader x Fencer!Seonghwa)

╰☆☆P.SH

- Off Guard (Reporter!Hongjoong x Fencer!Reader x Fencer!Seonghwa)

╰☆☆J.YH

- Nothing yet 📄

╰☆☆K.YS

- Nothing yet 💎

╰☆☆C.S

- Nothing yet 📄

╰☆☆S.MG

- Sucks To suck (Streamer!Mingi x Scammer!reader)

╰☆☆J.WY

- Nothing yet 💎

╰☆☆C.JH

- Nothing yet 📄

#masterlist #navigation #ateez #ateez smau #kpop smau #Ateez x reader #seonghwa ff #mingi ff #hongjoong ff #yunho ff #wooyoung ff #san ff #jongho ff #yeosang ff #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez texts #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez fanfic #ateez masterlist #mingi x reader #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #yeosang x reader #seonghwa x reader

[berryskaii]

Waking up next to San

｡˚.⋆ .⸙͎. ⋆.˚｡ Pairing: Boyfriend!San x Fem!Reader

｡˚.⋆ .⸙͎. ⋆.˚｡ Genre: Pure fluff, (very slightly suggestive)

｡˚.⋆ .⸙͎. ⋆.˚｡ Warnings: None!

｡˚.⋆ .⸙͎. ⋆.˚｡ Author’s Note: Hii! This is my first post on tumblr and im so excited bdshd. I have been writing fanfics for long and i decided that THIS is the day to start sharing them huhu. Hope you will enjoy it! This is just a soft and very short Sani fic, but i loved writing it<3

You were in bed, cuddled up with your boyfriend, San, the thin bedsheet hugging the curves of your naked body. You werent naked because you had sex though - you just simply loved being naked around your boyfriend, and honestly he loved seeing your body the way noone else could. He blushes a lot looking at you however, because you are just... too tempting this way. You make his mind wander to hot places far away, especially like this, your body so close to his bare skin, your tits pressed flat onto his side and your thigh thrown over his member. His hard member, to be exact. His hand gently stroked your thigh while his other muscular arm was being used as your favorite pillow. You reached up with your hand and sleepily started stroking his face which he purred at and leant into your touch with love. He suddenly catched your thumb lightly between his teeth with an "angg" sound. You giggled at him and pressed a kiss onto his chest. You felt his fingers firmly grabbing the soft flesh of your thigh at the contact. You got up on your elbows and started leaving soft, lingering kisses on his chest, the brushing of your hair on his skin adding more pleasure to the euphoric feeling.

"Y/n~" he whispered your name as he placed a hand on your head, gently stroking your hair with care. He rolled the two of you over and so you were flat on your back, his thigh being pressed to your womanhood, while he was the one his elbows, slightly hovering over you. He looked at you in awe, smiling at the sight of your beautiful face, fingers sweetly playing with your hair. You reached to his back with your hand, fingertips lightly grazing over his skin. He flashed a huge smile, then slid his finger under your neck slowly, leaning down and lightly connecting your lips. You werent moving, because you didnt want to break the magic of the moment. Your heart was blooming at the feather-like touch of his lips. "I love you" he breathed onto your lips before he dived back into the kiss, with more intensity this time. You linked your fingers with his, placing it next to your head, and he hovered over you, trailing wet, pampering kisses down your neck to your bellybutton.

Please dont steal/publish/edit/translate my work in any form.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez ff #ateez san #san #choi san #san fanfic #san ff #ateez fluff #san fluff

[hongism]

what lies beneath us. - c. san (m)

➼ genre; fluff, smut, slight angst for the first half but i make it better quickly promise ➼ pairing; san x afab!reader ➼ au; established relationship, college au ➼ warnings; explicit smut ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 6.4k

one busy semester is all it took for you and san to find yourselves struggling to find footing in the storm that is your relationship, yet rather than let go, he asked for one more week, one more day, one last chance to help get you back to shore

part of the ...and it's snowing collab.

────────────

➼ smut warnings; unprotected sex, oral: m, vaginal fingering, praise, body worship, service-top san, san has some slightly submissive tendencies, coming inside

────────────

You normally wouldn’t find yourself in Wooyoung’s apartment on a Tuesday morning, sitting at the bar counter beside his roommate with two mugs of coffee sitting on the granite between you, but you also haven’t had any leisure time to waste lately. It’s a miracle that Wooyoung is even up before ten o’clock, though that might be in part due to you pleading desperately over the phone to come over.

“Oh, you make her coffee but not me? The fuck is up with that, Hwa?” Speak of the devil, Wooyoung comes into the kitchen still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“She’s a guest, you live here. And I had to wake you up because you slept through three alarms so my sympathy levels are close to zero right now.” Seonghwa flashes a faux shrug despite the heated glare he’s sent. Wooyoung lets out a huff but lets it go in favor of redirecting his attention to you.

“Right, well, what did you need to talk about so badly that it couldn’t wait until the afternoon?”

“San is coming over tonight, I couldn't do the afternoon,” you mumble.

“Is it about him then? Did something—” he waves a hand through the air like that’ll explain his thoughts, and when confusion shows on both your face and Seonghwa’s, he gives up “—did something happen between you guys?”

“It feels a bit awkward,” you admit over the rim of your coffee mug. Wooyoung scoffs at that, but Seonghwa is far more forgiving than your best friend in that he sends you a sympathetic grin. 

“Awkward?” he prompts, toying with his own drink. Wooyoung pushes away from the counter and turns to the coffee maker.

“I don't know. Yeah, awkward, a bit. I guess. Like we don't know what we're doing or how to be in a relationship anymore.”

The brutal semester you both just suffered has been the main factor in the wedge in your relationship. Weekends full of studying, ones that you spent together at the start of the semester when he would come to your place or vice versa so that you could be together even while working. Then, San started picking up more shifts at his part-time job, and you had to redirect your focus to a particularly important internship that required you to forgo those weekends in the blink of an eye. You did have two weekends free of school and work, but San had to rush home during one of those on account of his mother falling ill. The other one was shot by you falling ill with the worst cold you’ve known in all your years of living. San came by that Friday with your favorite chicken and beer, but you couldn’t bring yourself to risk getting him sick when you knew how important the semester was to him too. It didn’t keep him from coming by again Saturday and Sunday both, soup was delivered to your front door along with voice messages wishing you well throughout the night. Even your text conversations were fizzling into oblivion by the time finals rolled around, which only served to amplify your feelings of dread. 

“Has he been acting differently?” Wooyoung tunes back into the conversation, this time more serious with his tone. “Like, he's pulling away or something?” Wooyoung stands on a different footing in this conversation and knows things Seonghwa doesn't in terms of your relationship with San. He's been there for you since well before you started dating San, and you're certain that he'll be there for you if it were to end tomorrow, the next day, or years down the line. 

“It's gonna sound so childish and stupid but he hasn't been calling me nicknames since the semester ended.” You tuck your hands into your lap and shrink into yourself a little, feeling the hot burn of shame well up inside.

“That's not stupid at all, y/n,” Seonghwa reassures barely a second after you finish your train of thought. “That's not.”

“He's right. That's totally unlike San.”

“Not! Helping!”

“I'm just being honest?!”

“Look, y/n, I don't want you to start having doom thoughts or thinking the worst — that doesn't mean his feelings for you have changed.” You’re starting to think that you should’ve asked Seonghwa for advice from the start instead of Wooyoung. “Maybe he's feeling that awkwardness you are too, or maybe he's feeling insecure. The only way to know is to ask. Have an open and honest conversation about it.”

“But…” You glance past Seonghwa to look at Wooyoung's back. Without even needing to look back, he seems to feel the weight of your stare.

“You're scared that if you bring it up, the worst will happen and y'all will break up.”

“We've been dating for so long that I don't know what I would do if that happened. I don't know how to be single, no offense to either of you, but it's just that we've been together for so long now. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if it ended.”

“If…” Wooyoung bites his words back as though he's unsure of how they will come out. “I don't want this to sound harsh, but if all it takes for him to lose his feelings for you is one busy semester, then that's not someone I would want you to have a future with. I know it's not up to me and it's not my business, but I want you to value yourself more than you value your relationship with San.”

“I truly don't think he's lost his feelings for you, y/n,” Seonghwa cuts in again, hand darting out across the counter in your direction. “Woo is right; you should value yourself more than the relationship you're in, but that doesn't mean you can only have one of those things. They can coexist.”

“What if I’m fighting for something he doesn’t want any longer?” you inquire softly and under your breath.

“The spark isn’t gone, y/n, I’m certain of that much. Maybe you just… need to find a way to reignite it!” The coffee maker dings loudly behind Wooyoung. And like it’s turning on a lightbulb in Wooyoung’s head, his expression turns suddenly bright. “Why not do just that? It’s been half a decade, to be fair, so really you can’t be blamed if things feel a little stale. If you went and did things that made you fall for each other in the first place, wouldn’t that help a bit?”

“I hate to say it…”

“You always say that when I’m right!”

“Ignoring him, that does sound like a good plan, y/n.”

Despite the reassurance from both your best friend and someone you consider to be far more mature and wiser, it doesn’t fully quell the concerns settling in your gut.

It’s only been six days since you last saw San, though you would argue that it feels a lot more like six months given how absent you both have been from each other’s lives of late. While that isn’t particularly your fault or his wholly — it’s definitely a joint effort that’s kept you apart — it does make your skin itch with anxiety every time you think about seeing him again.

It’s all culminated into this moment right now, where you sit on the edge of your couch waiting for the doorbell to ring and announce his arrival. You want to see him, desperately so, you’ve missed him so incredibly much that you can hardly stand it. And yet — you’re rooted to the cushions riddled by anxieties. You tried to rid yourself of the lingering stress after leaving Wooyoung’s apartment by doing chores properly for the first time in months, going so far as to run to the grocery and restock some necessities as well. You hate to be the type of partner who cannot do anything alone without associating it with your partner, but San was on your mind throughout the day.

Will he feel the same as you even though the flame keeping your relationship alive has been inching closer and closer to nothingness? The two of you don’t fight, in fact, your friends like to say that things go a little too smoothly between you two, and while that’s true, they aren’t aware of what it looks like when you and San aren’t getting along. It looks the way this semester has, slow conversations that lead nowhere and less time spent in each other’s presence. You aren’t fighting right now, but you certainly aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. The weather mirrors your emotions — dim greys shrouded by white flurries of snow that have been falling since early afternoon.

You clench your fingers around the seam of the couch cushion. No part of you wants to play the part of the overbearing partner: if you’re too eager to see him, wouldn’t he find it off-putting? 

The doorbell rings.

It takes a moment for you to brace yourself for impact, standing and walking over to the door as slowly as you can manage without it seeming like a deliberate delay. The second you open the door, however, your worries melt away for a moment. 

San smiles so brightly like you’ve not gone a second without reveling in each other’s presence. The weather is clinging to his coat still even though he had to climb three flights of stairs to reach your door. The little snowflakes are beginning to melt into the fabric.

“May I come in?” The facade cracks a bit. It’s not like him to ask such things, but you choose not to hold it against him now.

“Yeah, yeah, I finally had time to clean the other day so everything’s — nice.” 

If your smile is strained, he says nothing about it, stepping over the threshold and into your apartment like it’s the first time he’s ever done so. He’s polite all the time, but now it makes those seeds of doubt sprout further because you’ve been together for five years now, what reason does he have to act like a stranger in your home? A home he’s been in time and time again, one he’s slept in, fucked you— 

“Do you want ramen or pizza?” You force the thoughts to come to a halt before your expression turns bitter.

“Let’s do ramen, I’ll cut up the vegetables for you.”

There’s an elephant in the room that it seems neither of you wants to address, and so you keep your mouth shut just the same as San with the thought of “maybe this awkwardness will pass after tonight”. You watch him remove his coat and hang it up on the door while still picking at your nails. He extends a hand to you, one you take eagerly, and you lace your fingers through the gaps between his. A bit like a well-oiled machine, you think, something that Wooyoung had noted about the two of you as far back as freshman year of college. San presses his lips to the top of your head. You lean into the touch ever so slightly. 

You share in a quiet synergy that carries you through the motions of preparing food, with no conversation exchanged aside from a “watch for the knife” and “careful, behind you” on occasion. You’re still trying to psyche yourself up to bring up what’s truly on your mind, so you aren’t sure that you’d be able to get any conversation out without it spiraling into insanity right off the bat. For the moment, for now, you want to simply drink in San’s presence. 

He hums as he opens a cabinet in search of bowls, but they aren’t there. 

“Oh, I—I moved the bowls to the other side.” Three months ago, your mind adds. It would do nothing but add salt to a blossoming wound. San stops dead in his tracks too. He seems to suffer the same crisis that you do right then. After a few seconds of mental buffering, he resumes his humming and shifts to the adjacent cabinet like the moment didn’t happen at all. 

You sit beside each other at the bar counter, atop the uncomfortable stools you’ve had for well over two years now, but it offers a weird comfort because it’s familiar, it’s something San knows, it’s something you share and have shared for years. 

“Thanks for the meal,” San says, still wearing a bitten-back smile. 

“Of course. Thank you for helping.” But the detrimental reality of not speaking to someone properly for a long while is that part of you forgets how to make conversation with them. There is nothing for you and San to “catch up on” seeing as you’ve been keeping each other updated on your lives through dry text conversations. “Um…” He’s eyeing you carefully now, and you could pass off the watering in your eyes as the spice of the food, but he would call your bluff in an instant. The funny thing about doubt is that once it’s taken root, it’ll keep growing back no matter how many times you chop at the stem.

“What’s wrong, y/n?”

“It’s just — I don’t — are we breaking up?”

San freezes halfway over his ramen, chopsticks nearly falling from his fingers as he rushes to put his noodles back down. Your shoulders start shaking before you can stop it. He doesn’t stop you from turning away from him, but San has always been endlessly patient and gentle with you so you don’t expect him to ask you to look at him anyway. He does rest a hand atop your forearm though, and his thumb drags small, comforting circles over your skin. 

“Talk to me, y/n, what do you mean by that? Why would we be breaking up?” The words themselves sound calm. There’s a slight quiver to his tone, however, that makes you want to crawl inside yourself and disappear. “A-Are you wanting that?” Your continued lack of response makes San more urgent than ever, and he shifts his hand to your leg, spinning you to face him. You can’t be certain of the expression on your face (though you’d wager there is some degree of hurt); whatever San sees makes him let out a distressed noise from the back of his throat. “Come here, duck, talk to me.”

Standing on somewhat shaky legs, you push yourself closer to San, and he instinctually moves his knees apart to let you tuck yourself into the space there.

“Don’t cry, baby, I’m here, you can talk to me,” he murmurs, hands cupping your face in his hands. You reach down to cling to his shirt like it’s a lifeline. 

“That’s the first time you’ve called me that in weeks. This is the first time we’ve spent time together in six days. We’ve barely spoken or spent time together all semester, and I know why — I know we agreed that school and work have to come first. I know that.” Your voice drops to a whisper as you lose the confidence to speak. “I didn’t think it would mean losing you though.”

“You haven’t lost me, y/n. I’m still here, with you, loving you just as much as ever.” San smiles a little as you push your cheek further into his palm. “My feelings have not changed. I thought about you every day, wondered how you were doing, and if you responded to my texts late, I hoped you were eating well and getting enough rest. I listened to your voice memos rooting for me every night. Your face was always the first thing I saw in the morning because I still keep that slideshow of you as my lockscreen.” Reaching around to the back of your neck, he gives you a little tug, and your foreheads bump together. “The thought of you helped get me through the semester because I knew that it was you who was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.”

“Sannie…”

“How long have you been worried over this, baby? You should’ve come to me the moment you started having doubts. I wouldn’t have let this go on if I had known.”

“I thought I felt you pulling away so I was scared to bring it up. You weren’t calling me nicknames anymore, and I started reading into it too much and freaked myself out.”

“I’m so sorry, y/n. Don’t put the blame on yourself, it’s not a crime to have anxieties. I didn’t even realize I stopped using them. I suppose I just got swept up in my own feelings and wanted to call you by your name as much as possible.” He nudges you with his head again. “Because I missed you so dearly.” Your lips turn up at the corners, a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend. “And because I adore you so so much, my y/n.”

“Stop that.” You hope he doesn’t, truly.

“But I’m so mushy and full of love for you, y/n.”

“You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Oh, I can think of other ways to do that, baby.” San stands, subsequently pushing his body into yours, but your hands are still on each other, his moving down to caress the back of your thigh before he hooks his fingers around the bend of your knee and hoists your leg up over his hip. “I haven’t been good to you, my sweet,” he murmurs close to your lips. “What kind of boyfriend am I if I let you feel unwanted?” Your heart skips a beat as he grips tight at your other leg, then you’re suddenly weightless for a second as he hoists you up to his waist.

“We just ate—”

“I don’t plan on letting that stop me.” You let out a gasp as San traces the line of your jaw with his lips, hot breath spilling across your skin as he carries you from the kitchen. “Unless you want it to?” This damned man knows what he’s doing, he knows the hold he has over you — your brain is already turning into a foggy mess of want, and even the prospect of waiting two minutes for him to lay his hands on you is too much to bear. Your nails drag across his shoulders, tugging at the thin material. He misses the doorknob to your bedroom thanks to your antics, sending you against the wood a little harshly and forcing the air out of your lungs. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Still on the pill.”

“Hm?” he echoes, managing to turn it right on the second try and popping it open properly.

“I’m still on the pill,” you repeat. San freezes in place to stare at your face. You bring a hand around to toy at his parted lips with your thumb. “So you can fuck me raw.”

San becomes so dumbstruck that his jaw moves up and down over and over without any semblance of noise coming out.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come in my pants like a horny teenager,” he says under his breath. You drop your head back and laugh. San’s hold on you feels so blissfully warm. You didn’t even have time for this during the semester, sometimes thanks to your workloads but more often thanks to sheer exhaustion. A few solo jaunts before bed are hardly enough to please you the way San does. Based on how tightly he’s gripping your ass, he seems to feel exactly the same.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

He manages to get you both to the bed without further incident, laying you down on the mattress with a sort of reverence that makes your chest swell with emotion. Even through the barrier of clothing, his fingers are hot and sear a path from your hips up your waist then right back down again as San wastes no time in stripping you of your pants. 

“I missed you so fucking much it’s insane.” You want to respond, but the sight of your lover dropping to his knees at the foot of the bed stops you in your tracks. All you can do is lie there and watch him tug your pants off, lips moving to kiss each bit of exposed skin along the way. Goosebumps rise across your body when he kisses his way up higher. His broad frame cages you in the closer he gets to your face, and despite his hands being on the somewhat small side, they feel all-encompassing when they’re sneaking under your shirt and exploring the skin beneath.

“I missed you more,” you murmur, catching his chin between your fingers and angling his face upwards so you can properly look at him. “I love you so so much, San. More than I can put into words.”

“Yeah?” You make no effort to pull him higher although he moves as though you do and climbs all the way up to be right over your face. He hums before dipping down to kiss the corner of your mouth. “I think I’ve missed you more still though—” another kiss, this time to the opposite side of your mouth “—but you’re welcome to challenge me on that.”

“San,” you whine. He pulls back and sits back on his knees. Your brain goes totally blank watching him take his shirt off. It’s something you’ve seen time and time again, truly nothing new or foreign to you, but something about it now makes your gut twist in on itself. He’s lost a bit of the muscle you’ve grown accustomed to seeing on him, now softer around the edges, at the waist and across his stomach. It doesn’t curb your desire for him in the slightest; if anything it makes you want him more, to cling to him tighter and feel him firmer against you.

He throws the shirt down to the floor and drags a hand through his dark hair. His legs are splayed around yours, putting the prominent bulge in his pants on full display before you.

“I want you to use me, y/n.” He grabs your hand from where it’s resting against the bed and brings it to his chest. You dig your nail into his flesh like it’s second nature to do so. “Tonight, for your pleasure.” His eyes trail after your every moment, watching as you sit up and pull your legs out from under him. You graze the underside of his dick ever so slightly yet it’s still enough to make his lashes flutter. 

“Then…” San is like putty in your hands, conforming to every move you make while still maintaining that unbreaking eye contact. He turns with you, and you climb off the bed to stand despite feeling seconds away from toppling over. All it takes is the slightest push against his chest for him to lie flat on his back. “Will you be good for me?” 

His response comes in the form of a bitten-back whine thanks to you cupping the bulge of his cock as you withdraw your hand. It’s intoxicating to strip him of his jeans and feel every inch of his pretty tapered waist. You urge him to move further up on the bed, making room for you between his legs once you’ve tossed his pants down beside yours on the floor. The tip of his cock peeks out the top of his underwear, already stiff and leaking precum onto the elastic band. Saucy nudes here and there don’t do him nearly enough justice, you think. You tease just the bit of him that's exposed with your tongue, licking at the sensitive and swollen head, and he twitches beneath the fabric. Humming to yourself, you inch his underwear down just far enough to put his whole member on display, along with his balls, but you don’t go any further than that. It’s enough for you to get your mouth around him, after all, and that’s exactly what you do without giving San any time to brace himself for the touch.

He lets out a desperate moan the moment your wet heat envelopes his length, fingers curling into his palms around the comforter. His hips twitch with the desire to thrust upwards, but he keeps himself firmly planted on the bed, fulfilling his end of the bargain for you and being so delightfully good. The weight of him on your tongue isn’t nearly enough; you want him buried deep inside you as soon as possible, and you’d go on and do it now if you didn’t think it would hurt like a bitch given how long it’s been since you’ve taken him. San isn’t distracted enough to miss the way you retract a hand to touch yourself, and he fights to speak through broken moans.

“I w-wanna touch you, pretty.” You lift yourself off his cock until just the tip sits on your lower lip.

“I’ll let you later when I ask you to fold me in half and fuck me into the mattress.” You sink two fingers into your hole, taking San back into your mouth to revel in that full feeling again. You’re just as needy as he is, in reality, because your walls are already coated with arousal and it pools around the base of your fingers in such a way that it makes your cheeks flush. San’s noises aren’t helping in the slightest — for as quiet as he is in day-to-day life, he is ever so vocal when it comes to sex, especially when his cock is buried in your mouth. He’s just long enough to push right into the back of your throat, making it far easier for you to take him fully. 

“Your mouth feels so — fuck, fucking good, baby.” If you weren’t preoccupied, you would love to return his words with your own, so you settle for tugging at his balls a little. It earns you a delightful little yelp, and his hips buck up to drive his dick further into your throat than expected. “Hngh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I want—” you don’t finish your train of thought, too rushed to bother with it as you scramble to rid yourself of your underwear. San greets you with his hands when you climb back onto the bed and grabs hold of your waist. He tugs and pulls at your shirt until it’s gone too, leaving you with nothing more than your plain black bra. However, even that San seems to find issue with, because he toys with the clasp until it comes loose and throws that aside too.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, settling back against the mattress. He’s always told you this is his favorite position, to see you straddling his hips and bouncing on his cock, though he favors missionary quite a bit as well because it lets him see your body and face while he’s fucking you (despite how much he loves your ass). His cock is trapped between your pussy and his stomach now, hard and throbbing for the same kind of stimulation you so desperately crave. You drag your folds along his length a few times just to tease San, but he grips your hip in warning. In hindsight, you should have let him finger you open more before because the stretch is far more than you remember — not enough to hurt, but enough for you to really feel every inch of him entering your body. It makes you writhe atop him, your spine arches, and you drop your head back. San holds you like you're a precious gem, thick arms circling around your waist as you rest your hands on his chest. The position gives you some much-needed stability, but San's fingers have begun to get severely distracting. He rolls his thumbs into your skin, pausing only to squeeze and pinch at the more sensitive parts of your sides. 

“I’m gonna start moving,” you whisper like being too loud will break some sort of seal. San nods and unwraps his arms enough to simply hold your hips. Despite the decrease in definition of his muscles, his strength doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere, because he lifts you with such ease that it’s a bit dizzying. Still, he lets the control rest in your hands. You sink down slowly on his cock, letting your walls get used to the drag, before doing the same motion two, three more times. The first whimper to fall from your lips is what snaps your resolve. San’s hold on you remains firm but only to ease the strain on your thighs as you begin to pick up your pace. 

“Beautiful, beautiful, you’re so beautiful, my sweet.” San rolls his hips up in time with your movements, driving his cock up into your cunt as you drop yourself onto him, and it reaches so deep inside you that you see stars behind your eyelids. “Missed you so much, missed this, seeing your body through photos wasn’t enough — fuck, it wasn’t enough.”

“How many, ah, times did you come to those photos, hm?” You crack one eye open to watch San’s face. He’s already flushed with want, but the red in his cheeks deepens more upon hearing your question. You lean your weight further into your hands. “I fingered myself so many times thinking of you, Sannie. B-But, hngh, it wasn’t good enough. Not as good as your cock. Nothing… n-nothing feels as good!”

San thrusts up with more vigor now, all but taking over for you to go slack above him as he drives your hips down with his hands and pushes his length into you from the opposite direction. Then, suddenly, his movements falter and stutter to a halt, and he looks just as shocked as you are when his cock twitches against your walls. A blooming of warmth fills you right after, along with the realization that San has just come inside you without warning.

“I-I’m sorry, I — I didn’t mean to, ah, I thought I would last longer.” He slings an arm up over his eyes, and the red in his face deepens in hue. “I’m sorry, I should’ve let you come first.” You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Leaning down over him, you peel his arm away from his face so that you can see his shamed expression better.

“Your dick is far from the only thing that can make me come, babe. Right?” 

He nods a few times, but there’s still a pout on his lips. You kiss it away. 

“Then—” you detach yourself from his body, bringing about an unwelcome emptiness as his spent cock slips out of you, and roll onto your back beside him. He watches with rapt attention as you spread your legs and open your pussy to him. “Why don’t you?”

San moves with surprising haste for a man who has just come, rolling into the space between your legs, and while you expected him to just use his fingers to get you off, he hooks his hands around your thighs and shoves his face into your used cunt instead. It yanks a startled moan out of you, and it’s only amplified when he closes his lips around your clit. He’s lucky you don’t give him a concussion with how quickly you slam your thighs around his head. You don’t notice that he’s moved a hand until fingers are prodding at your leaking entrance and urging the come he just pumped into you back into your hole.

“O-Oh, San.” 

Normally, he takes his sweet time eating you out, bringing you to the precipice of orgasm before sending you right back down time and time again without release. Though, either out of lingering shame at coming early or simply out of a desire to make you unravel, San laps at your clit so eagerly that it sends shudders through you. You can feel your blood rushing lower as he urges you to come, walls clenching around his fingers. It only takes another second more for the first wave to hit you, and it makes you scramble to grab hold of San’s hair as he keeps curling his fingers over your sweet spot. He does so throughout each wave of your orgasm until tears burn the corners of your eyes and you’re all but pleading for him to grant you some mercy.

“You — you had nothing to prove, you know,” you say between desperate attempts to catch your breath. San giggles and looks up at you from his lewd position. “Ugh!” You shove his head away from you half-heartedly just to spare yourself more embarrassment.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that, duck!”

You only go as far as the pillows, turning back to him immediately and opening your arms to welcome him into them. 

“I came too early, of course I had something to prove,” he adds once he’s snugly placed against your chest. You slot together like two pieces of a puzzle, his head under your chin and your breath stirring the messy strands of hair in your path. “I’ve fallen out of practice. When was the last time I did that? It’s embarrassing…”

You can’t contain your laughter.

“You always come a little early when I ride you.”

“That’s not fair!”

All you can do to soothe him is pat his head. You feel a tad sticky and gross all over, but San’s warmth more than makes up for it, and if you’re not careful, you’re certain you’ll fall asleep within minutes. A small sniffle coming from the man atop you chases thoughts of rest away in the blink of an eye though.

“San?”

“’m okay, promise.”

“You’re crying, baby, that’s not ”okay“.”

“I just,” he inhales and licks over his lips, skating across your sternum in the process. “I wasn’t sure I was gonna stay afloat without you.” You comb your fingers through his hair.

“Tell me when you need me and I’ll be there. Always.”

“I didn’t want to disrupt your schedule and get in the way.”

“You have to trust that I’ll take care of myself and my responsibilities even if I help you too. You always tell me that when I worry over the same things. It goes both ways, San, okay?”

“Okay.” He nods against you. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that. As long as you don’t lock yourself away when things get tough. Rely on me if you need strength. And talk to me when something is on your mind.”

“Alright, we have an agreement.” Out of nowhere, you remember Wooyoung’s suggestion from this morning. Picking at a stray piece of San’s hair, you mull over your thoughts some more. You could let things settle as they are now since things seem to be back to a pleasant state of balance. But even so, would it do any harm to try anyway? “I’d like to go on a first date again. With you. I want us to go on a first date again.”

“Hm?”

“Like… I want us to go out like it’s the first time all over again. And feel that excitement and giddiness we had back then. We don’t have to, it’s just a thought. I don’t know. Maybe it’d be a good thing after this semester.”

Silence overtakes the room. San’s breathing is so steady that you think he’s fallen asleep, but the second you try to shift and see his face, he tilts his head up and looks into your eyes.

“Alright. Let’s go on a first date again.”

…

“I figured we’d go to that little Thai place by the grocery before heading over to the Christmas light show?”

“Oh!” Your thoughts rearrange themselves around his words. “That sounds really nice, yeah.”

“The guys wanna meet up at Wooyoung’s after for chicken and beer, but I told them I’d leave the decision up to you.” He tilts his chin a bit to the side as he speaks, lips quirked up at the corners, and you find yourself so incredibly fond of him all over again.

“Let’s see how we feel after walking around.”

You offer to drive tonight, but he denies you quickly, whining about how he filled his tank full of gas just for tonight so you don’t push the matter any further than that (though, you still tease him a bit once he opens the passenger door for you). When he turns the car on, music starts blasting through the speakers, a song you recognize well, and the dash shows that he’s been listening to the playlist you made for him at the start of the last school year. 

“Sorry, forgot the volume was up so high.” He scrambles to twist the dial down, but you stop him with your hand, gripping his wrist lightly and giving a firm shake of your head.

“I didn’t realize you still listened to it. Normally you just have the radio going.”

“Ah, well,” San’s cheeks are a bit flush under the low lights of the car, “I suppose I’ve been feeling a bit sentimental these days.” His next move is a bit hesitant; he reaches across the console and lays his hand atop your thigh. You reassure him by putting your hand over his, fingers curling around his once again. It feels normal and familiar, though you can’t count on two hands the last time you’ve done something as menial as holding hands with San. 

“San?” He makes a noise of acknowledgment while watching the road. “I’ve missed you.” His nails dig into your flesh a little, and the pressure makes your heart clench in your chest.

“I’ve missed you more.” You can only see his side profile, but it’s enough for you to catch the upturn of his lips. 

“I’ve missed you most then.” The statement slips out through a pout. 

“And I love you more than the moon loves the ocean.”

The weight of his hand is comfort enough for you to be at ease for the rest of the drive.

────────────

please like & reblog this work and consider leaving a reply or sharing your thoughts in a reblog or ask!

this work belongs to caly / hongism (2023). do not copy, repost, or plagiarize in any way.

#ateez smut #ateez x reader #san smut #san x reader #choi san smut #choi san x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez ff #san imagine #san imagines #caly.writes #fic; and it's snowing #winter fic fest 2023 #fic; what lies beneath us

[starillusion13]

Hi do you know any woosan fics?? 😘

WOOSAN x Reader FIC RECS

Kindly MDNI coz all are SMUT so kindly keep yourself away from here (but if anyone has any soft or fluffy aus on Woosan please recommend it to me, I haven’t read one and I want to read so bad…I will add them here on the list after reading it)

If you want to read mine:

Winning Dessert - @starillusion13

Our Girl - @starillusion13

And now the recs I would love to read again:

2k sleepover event - @cheollipop

Hard Hours - @cheollipop

There, there, Kitty - @cheollipop

One more rep - @cheollipop

Knockout - @igbylicious

DJANGO - @last-words-ofashootingstar

Hard Hours - @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

Party of Three - @cybrsan

Two is better than one - @kuromiiy

Behave - @bibittybopittybadbxtch

Love Language - @hwallazia

Fucking sense into you - @theysaidhush

Like a CHAMP - @shinestarhwaa

Whichever way(Series) - @igbylicious

11:30 pm - @mingis-lightbulb

What are friends for? - @anyamaris

Air freshener - @beenbaanbuun

Blue Bird - @seonghwaddict

Three Hearts as ONE - @cybrsan (its not a SMUT but an apocalypse au but so pathetic and nice😭)

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard asks #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #san smut #jung wooyoung smut #woosan x reader #woosan #ateez fic recs #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez au smut #atz smut #ateez woosan

[jungwnies]

𝐬𝐚𝐧 ― 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

𝐀 = affection (how affectionate is he? how often does he show affection?)

san is quite affectionate. he never fails to show his love through hugging or having some sort of physical touch with you. not only that but he also tends to get you things while he’s out and surprise you but his main form of showing affection is hugging you and smiling around you. you know he’s happy and comfortable when he’s touchy and smiley.

𝐁 = beginning (what would he be like as a bsf; how would the friendship start?)

he would be such a good best friend. he’s always doing his best to make sure you’re happy and he’s your shoulder to lean on. he’s always there for you and he has never once left your side; even in arguments he is still there. the friend would most likely start because a random conversation sparked up; something about san radiates “im gonna talk to this person in line” and while he’s in line waiting to get whatever it is he starts a conversation with you and from there you guys exchanged numbers and became friends.

𝐂 = cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how would he cuddle?)

yes; he loves to cuddle. he is little a cuddle bug as much as he won’t verbally admit it everyone knows it once they feel his arms wrap around him. his touch is warm and his hug is quite inviting

𝐃 = domestic (does he want to settle down; how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

yes, yes, and yes. he wants to have a family so bad. he wants to marry and settle down sooo bad. he loves the thought of having something so precious and having something that is only his. he’s not bad at keeping things tidy and making some foods but there’s always room for improvement.

𝐄 = ending (if he had to break up with you; how would he do it?)

oh man, this is hard. this would be a tough pill to swallow; the thought of even mentioning breaking up breaks him. he would approach you in person and tell you everything and why.

𝐅 = fiance (how does he feel about commitment; would he want to get married quick?)

he loves the thought of it; but he wouldn’t want to rush anything.

𝐆 = gentle (how gentle is he; emotionally + physically?)

he’s super gentle. his touch is gentle, the way he treats you is gentle, he cares about you so much and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

𝐇 = hugs (does he likes hugs; how often does he hug you; what are his hugs like?)

all the time, i see san as someone who constantly craves physical touch so any time he gets to receive or give you a hug he’s going to take the chance; his hugs are warm and always inviting he’s never made you feel as if his hugs were nothing

𝐈 = i love you (how fast does he say he loves you?)

it takes him a while to confess his love; it's not that he doesn't love you but he wants the timing to be right; he would be completely shattered if he said it too soon that you don't like him enough to love him.

𝐉 = jealousy (how jealous does he get; what does he do when he is jealous?)

he is super jealous; he might even the epitome of jealous and possessive. he loves you in a way where you wouldn't want someone else and albeit he knows that he can't help but think that someone is going to want YOU; you are godly in his eyes so when he sees someone trying to hit on you he immediately grabs onto your hand and places a kiss on your lips.

𝐊 = kisses (what are his kisses like; where does he like to kiss you; where does he like to be kissed?)

lips, neck, somewhere on the upper body to be honest; he likes to leave soft longing kisses on your neck, especially when he's needy he will leave kisses on you; he likes to be kissed on his lips, he will pucker his lips in front of you and wait for a kiss.

𝐋 = little ones (how is he around children?)

i think he's good with children; but you wouldn't want him around children 24/7 because THAT might be a disaster

𝐌 = morning (how are mornings spent with him?)

he seems to be the type who wakes up early; if he's feeling energized then he will make breakfast; but sometimes he'll wake up, cuddle you a little closer and fall back asleep :')

𝐍 = night (how are nights spend with him?)

he sleeps well; some nights he's restless while some nights he's out like a light. he often keeps a show playing in the background or maybe even some white noise or some chill piano music in the background.

𝐎 = open (when would he open up; does he say everything at once or does he wait to reveal himself?)

he's not quick to open up; he takes awhile to open up but when he does he doesn't realize that he's telling you things about his life he's never told anyone. he doesn't say everything at once but things piece together as the relationship goes on.

𝐏 = patience (how easily angered is he?)

he's easily angered if you push the right buttons but he's usually pretty calm and willing to talk through any problems; although he often pretends to be angry when he's really not.

𝐐 = quizzes (how much would he remember about you; does he remember every little detail; or is he forgetful?)

he remembers everything from the little things to the big things he remembers EVERYTHING.

𝐑 = remember (what is his favorite moment in the relationship?)

he loves the moments where everything is just smiles and joy; the smile he gives you where his eyes are barely open and his cheeky smile is the brightest thing in the world. his sweet smile along with you sweet laugh that sounds like music to him is his favorite moment.

𝐒 = security (how protective is he; how does he protect you; how would he like to be protected?)

he is super super super super duper pooper super protective; he protects you by keeping you close but also reminding you that he will always pick you over himself; he doesn't feel the need to be protected but he feels safest when he's with you in general.

𝐓 = try (how much effort does he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he just wants you to be happy but he doesn't put his full effort into his dates; he's more of a let's see how the day goes kinda guy but on anniversaries he will go the extra mile without a doubt

𝐔 = ugly (what are some of his bad habits?)

his possessive might get the best of him at times but it's not too bad; albeit he can get quite annoying sometimes.

𝐕 = vanity (how concerned is he with his looks?)

he does not care an ounce of what he looks like; as long as he looks good in your eyes he is perfectly fine <3

𝐖 = whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

honestly, no. i don't think he's the type of guy who would rely on someone to feel complete since he wants to eliminate any chance of heart break or attachment.

𝐗 = xtra (random headcanon for him)

although he can be possessive and sometimes annoying he is undoubtedly the best boyfriend ever; he is the sweetest boyfriend and the cutest little love bug ever.

𝐘 = yuck (what are some things he wouldn't like; in general or in a partner?)

i don't think he would want someone who is inconsiderate or arrogant

𝐙 = zzz (what are his sleeping habits?)

i feel like he's the type of guy to sleep in like a full set of pajamas but he's also the type of guy who like... lightly snores ㅠㅠ

© 2022 ilyeonjns ― do not steal or repost

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez x reader #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #san #choi san #san fluff #san angst #san x reader #choi san x reader #san reactions #san scenarios #san fanfic #ateez fanfic #san imagines #san ff #ateez ff

[introspectivememories]

it's always distinguished lesbian momo with disaster gay todoroki. we need to flip the script. disaster lesbian momo with distinguished gay todoroki. tddk are practically living together in shouto's japanese style dorm meanwhile momo flies in every morning, hair a mess, slamming that shoji door open, talkin bout "todoroki-kun! kyouka touched my knee this morning! do you think she likes me????"

#momo 2 seconds later: oh good morning midoriya-san. i hope i didnt disturb your sleep. anyway todoroki-kun pleaaase tell me what to do #i like this idea of prim and proper momo becoming a disaster over her gay little crush on jirou #tddk got their shit together 3 months into being friends. tdrk just confessed in that blunt way of his and now they're practically married #izuku's dorm room is his extra closet space for all might merch #they share a futon ffs #on the other hand momo's internal dialogue is just: hnnnng kyouka prettyyyy kyouka strong kyouka kissable #momo having debriefing sessions with tdrk every morning is so funny to me #izk thinks its ridiculous bc c'mon kyouka's crush on momo is visible from the moon #just tell her you like her yaoyorozu-san!! #yaoyorozu momo #jirou kyouka #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #tododeku #momojirou #tddk #bnha

[alxtiny]

can you do which ateez habit you would have picked up from being around them for too long?

I struggled with this more than I should have I’m sorry 😭😭😭😭 Happy reading!!!

Habits you pickup from Ateez

Synopsis: little habits you pick up from ateez

Pairing: ateez members x gn!reader, idol au

Genre: fluff

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: none:)

masterlist

• Hongjoong

Falling asleep in random places

You never thought you'd pick up such a peculiar habit from Hongjoong but here you were, dozing off on the couch in his studio. It had become somewhat of a routine lately. Hongjoong often found himself working late into the night, composing music and writing lyrics, and you couldn't bear to leave him alone. So, you stayed up with him, keeping him company and offering moral support.

Tonight was no different. The studio was dimly lit, save for the soft glow of the computer screen where Hongjoong was tirelessly tinkering away. You sat beside him, occasionally offering words of encouragement or fetching him a snack to keep his energy up. But as the hours passed, fatigue started to weigh heavily on your eyelids.

"You okay Y/n?" a familiar voice chimed in, bringing you back from the brink of slumber.

You blinked a few times, trying to shake off the drowsiness. "Huh? Who? What?" you mumbled, rubbing your eyes.

Seonghwa chuckled softly and gestured towards you. "You fell asleep in a chair, I think you’re spending too much time with Hongjoong. You should get some real rest before you start falling asleep in random places, like him, too."

Glancing over at Hongjoong, you realized he was completely absorbed in his work, oblivious to the conversation happening around him. You laughed sheepishly, realizing Seonghwa was right. Lately, you had indeed found yourself dozing off in various places – the couch, the kitchen table, even leaning against the wall.

"It's just... I can't leave him alone when he's working so hard," you explained softly, a small smile playing on your lips.

Seonghwa's expression softened as he understood. "I know, and I'm sure Hongjoong appreciates it too. But you need to take care of yourself as well, okay? "

You nodded, grateful for Seonghwa's concern. As you settled back into the couch, you made a mental note to try and get more sleep, even if it meant leaving Hongjoong to his work occasionally. But for now, you allowed yourself to succumb to the comforting embrace of sleep, knowing that Hongjoong was just a few feet away.

• Seonghwa

Acting motherly towards the members

Seonghwa watched with a bemused smile as you flitted around the dorm, straightening pillows, picking up stray socks, and tidying up the kitchen. It was a sight he'd grown accustomed to – you, inadvertently taking on the role of the dorm mom, just like he did. It wasn't something you consciously did, but rather a habit you'd picked up from spending so much time around him and the other guys.

You had a thing for neatness and sometimes acted much like a mom in your friend group, but lately, you found yourself slipping into Seonghwa's shoes more often than not. It was something he found endearing and amusing, seeing you scold the other members for leaving their belongings strewn about or for forgetting to do their chores.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" Seonghwa asked, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.

You turned to him, a blushi tinting your cheeks, wondering just how long he had been watching you. "Oh, just tidying up a bit. It was a mess in here."

Seonghwa chuckled softly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don’t need to do all that, you know"

You laughed, shaking your head. "I can't help it. You guys are like family to me, and I just want to take care of you."

The other members wandered into the kitchen, groaning as they saw you fussing over the cleanliness of the space.

"Come on, Y/N, we already have one Seonghwa," Yunho teased, flashing you a playful grin. "We don't need you turning into another one."

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide the smile tugging at your lips. "I'm just trying to help keep things organized around here. Someone has to do it."

Seonghwa wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "We appreciate it, really. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too, okay?"

You nodded, leaning into his side. "Of course. But someone has to keep you guys in line."

The others laughed, knowing deep down that they were lucky to have both you and Seonghwa looking out for them – even if it meant enduring occasional scoldings for their messy habits.

• Yunho

Picking at or biting your lips

Yunho had always been the type to immerse himself completely in whatever task he was working on, often biting or touching his lips in concentration. You, on the other hand, had never noticed this about yourself until Yunho pointed it out one day.

You were sitting together at the studio, both lost in your respective work. You were so engrossed in what you were doing that you didn't even realize your hand had wandered up to your lips, fingers lightly touching and occasionally biting at them in a habit you had unknowingly picked up from Yunho.

"Y/N," Yunho's voice broke through your concentration, causing you to look up, startled. "Don’t do that," he said, nodding towards your lips.

Confused, you furrowed your brows. "Hmm? What do you mean?"

Yunho sighed, his expression turning slightly serious. "You keep biting your lips. You might hurt them if you're not careful."

You blinked, suddenly becoming aware of what you were doing. "Oh," you muttered, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your neck. "I didn't even realize I was doing that."

Yunho's lips twitched with amusement, but he quickly composed himself. "It's a bad habit. You should try to stop."

You couldn't help but feel a bit defensive. "Well, you do it too," you scoffed and pointed out.

Yunho's cheeks flushed slightly, and he looked away. "I... I do?"

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. Maybe we've just been spending too much time together," you teased.

Yunho's embarrassment was palpable now, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Maybe," he muttered, unable to meet your gaze.

But despite the awkwardness, there was a warmth in your chest knowing that even your unconscious habits were intertwined with his. It was just another reminder of how close the two of you had become, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for it.

• Yeosang

Clapping while laughing

You and Yeosang had spent such a long time together and over the course of it, you became attuned to each other's habits, quirks, and gestures without even realising it. One particular habit of Yeosang's that seemed to have rubbed off on you was the way he would clap his hands when he found something particularly amusing.

The way your hands would subconsciously come together and follow the rhythm of your laughter felt natural and neither of you actually noticed how a habit, once Yeosang’s, was now shared by you.

However, that was until one lazy afternoon when Yeosang excitedly showed you his phone, "Hey, check this out," he said with a grin, pushing it towards your face.

Curious, you glanced at the screen, finding yourself staring at a Twitter thread created by an ATINY. The thread was a compilation of gifs and videos, side by side, showing you and Yeosang laughing together. What caught your attention, however, was the caption accompanying the thread: "Am I the only one who noticed that Y/N and Yeosang have the same adorable habit of clapping while laughing? #YeoY/N."

"Oh my god they’re adorable."

"They look like cute little seals when they're laughing together, it's like they're synchronised."

You couldn't help but smile and giggle as you scrolled through the thread, amused by how certain things never went unnoticed by their fans, even if you yourselves were oblivious.

Yeosang glanced over at you, his expression softening. "I guess we really do spend too much time together, huh?"

You chuckled, leaning closer to him. "Maybe. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

• San

Covering your mouth while laughing

It was just one of those habits you picked up without even realising it – covering your face while laughing. It was something you'd seen San do countless times, his hand rising instinctively to his mouth as his laughter bubbled up. Maybe it was the contagiousness of his joy, or perhaps it was the familiarity that made you do it, but whatever the reason, you found yourself unconsciously mimicking his actions more and more as time went on.

You didn't think much of it, not until one fateful day when you and San were doing a live stream together. The comments were flooding in, a flurry of emojis and supportive messages from fans all over the world. Amidst the sea of text, one comment stood out:

"OMG, look how they laugh the same! 😍 SanYn are the cutest! 💕"

Curious, you glanced at the screen, only to see San's eyes widen in realisation. He turned to you, a playful grin spreading across his face. "Looks like we've been caught," he teased, nudging you lightly.

You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, but there was also a warmth spreading through you, a sense of fondness at the thought of sharing such a small, intimate detail with San. "Guess we spend too much time together," you joked back, unable to suppress a smile.

But as the live stream continued, you couldn't help but notice how often you and San found yourselves laughing, your hands rising simultaneously to cover your mouths. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about the bond you shared, the way you seemed to sync up without even trying.

After the stream ended, you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to San’s cheek, you couldn't help but giggle at how much these little quirks affected you, maybe making life more comfortable along the way.

• Mingi

Making the 🥺 face

To the people outside, Mingi seemed to be very intimidating, with his deep voice and built 6ft stature but inside the comfort of his he couldn't be more different. He knew he was cute and he knew how to use it against people. One quick look sent your way with his puppy eyes and pouty lips and you would melt, at some point this habit of his rubbed off on you.

The members weren’t safe from it either, like when Seonghwa had just finished making a delicious batch of ramen for himself. The aroma wafted through the room, teasing your senses and making your stomach growl loudly. You and Mingi couldn't help but stare at the steaming bowl with longing eyes.

"Seonghwa hyung, that smells amazing," Mingi exclaimed, his eyes widening with hunger.

You nodded enthusiastically, finding yourself unintentionally mirroring Mingi's expression, your lips slightly pouting like the 🥺 emoji.

Seonghwa chuckled at your antics, shaking his head. "Sorry guys, this is just for me. I only made enough for one."

"But hyung, we're starving!" Mingi whined, his voice tinged with desperation.

You glanced at Seonghwa, your eyes pleading as you continued to unknowingly imitate Mingi's puppy-dog expression.

Seonghwa sighed, feeling the pressure of your combined adorable stares. "Oh no, I have to deal with two Mingis now, don't I?"

You and Mingi exchanged a glance before bursting into giggles, realising your unintentional synchronisation. Seonghwa couldn't help but laugh along with you.

"Fine, fine," Seonghwa relented, dividing the ramen between the three of you. "But next time, make your own!"

• Wooyoung

Smacking people while laughing

You couldn't help but laugh at the way Wooyoung told a recount of the recent Wanteez episode the boys shot, adding his own commentary in between. He always had a way of making you laugh wholeheartedly, even when you fought he would be the one to apologise first and crack a joke to make you smile. However, what you didn't realise was that you had picked up one of his habits along the way.

In the midst of your laughter, your hand instinctively swung out and smacked San's thigh, eliciting a surprised yelp from him. It wasn't until he looked at you with a mix of amusement and slight irritation that you realised what you had done.

"Oops, sorry, San!" you apologised, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you tried to suppress your laughter.

San rubbed his thigh, shooting you a mock glare. "I already have to take abuse from Wooyoung, and now you're doing it too?"

You couldn't help but giggle at his playful complaint, but Wooyoung nudged you with a grin. "Looks like my habits are rubbing off on you, huh?"

You chuckled, realising how similar you two acted these days. "I guess so. Sorry, San, I’ll try not to do that but I can’t make any promises." You winked at him.

San shook his head and scoffed at your mocking, a smile breaking through his faux irritation. "Ahh so much I have to go through,"

You and Wooyoung giggled at his words, knowing how much he loved you both the same, with the occasional physical abuse of course.

• Jongho

Scrunching your nose while smiling/laughing

As you sat on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you stumbled upon a video compilation titled "JongYn Couple Moments" ,obviously your curiosity got the better of you and you clicked on it, not fully knowing what to expect. What unfolded on the screen was definitely not what you were expecting, it sent a sudden blush creeping up your cheeks.

The video was a compilation of moments featuring you and Jongho, through the fans’ eyes, complete with dramatic commentary about how cute you two were together. Especially about the way your noses scrunched and crinkles formed around your eyes as you both laughed, with your faces making the same endearing expression.

You couldn't help but be amused as you watched, realising that you had subconsciously copied Jongho's habit of scrunching his nose when he smiled.

Suddenly, you felt a presence beside you. Glancing over, you found Jongho peering over your shoulder, his eyes fixated on the screen. As he watched the video, a wide grin spread across his face, small giggles leaving his lips.

"Wow, we really do look alike sometimes," Jongho remarked, amusement dancing in his eyes.

You nodded, still giggling at the sight. "I never realized I picked up on your habit."

"It's adorable," Jongho said, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your cheek. "I guess I've rubbed off on you, huh?"

You chuckled, leaning into his touch. "Looks like it. But hey, I don't mind sharing a few habits with you."

© alxtiny . Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my works on any platform in any way.

Send an ask or a message to be added to taglist

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURE FICTION AND NOT RELATED TO THE MEMBERS OF ATEEZ IN REAL LIFE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

Taglist:

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[mi-rae07]

Choi San : The Best Thing

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Shin Sori)

_____________________

Synopsis : San is homesick, and that is making him get lazy at work, and that, in turn, is causing sori anger. She worked her entire life to move out of her home country, for a better life for both her and her boyfriend. And now he was messing it up by being reckless. How is she going to fix it?

______________________

Sori : you're back early again.

San let out a breath as he threw his work bag towards the couch, plopping down against it as he said tiredly

San : yes.

Sori : except your shift doesn't end until 2 hours later.

San : yes.

Sori frowned at how nonchalant he sounded, as if he hadn't been doing this for the past few months. Treating work like nothing, all of this was going to backfire on them.

Sori : san, you're a nurse. How can you just leave like that-

San : can we not talk about this?

Sori : did you tell someone to take your shift instead?

San rolled his eyes as he whispered

San : and if I did?

Sori : this is the fourth time this week you're asking someone else-

San : sori, please! Stop for the love of god!

Sori looked up as san stood up, wanting to walk away before this turned into something else. Sori wasn't going to allow that, they needed to fix this. And so before san could walk further sori stood up, stopping right in front of san as she said

Sori : if you keep doing this you're going to lose your job.

San : okay, and?

Sori : san! You lose your job, we lose part of our income. That means having less money for spending on the apartment, on groceries, on everything.

San : we'll manage.

Sori scoffed as she said

Sori : we'll manage? But you can't just manage to not fuck up the one thing you have to do instead?

San's eyes turned to look at sori, his eyes showing anger now. Did she think he did nothing on a daily basis?

San : really? Is this what you think of me?

Sori : you make me think this way, san. I have to take care of everything, the cooking, the cleaning, the groceries, the bills, everything. That, and my own work. While all you have to do is go to the damned hospital and do your job but even that you cannot do properly. This has to be equal, choi san. We have to manage all of this or we're going to lose everything we have!

San : equal? Haven't I ever helped you with cooking? Cleaning? Haven't I ever went grocery shopping with you? Or given you money to pay the bills-

Sori : that is your fucking job, san! Why are you saying all of this as if you're doing me a fucking favor!

San : sori.

Sori : you don’t even do anything for us at this point.

San : GOD I LEFT EVERYTHING FOR YOU, SHIN SORI!

Sori flinched, looking up at san as his eyes filled with tears of rage and hurt.

San : my family, my friends, my job, my place, I gave it all up for you.

Sori : san-

San : when you got this job oppurtunity in this foreign land, I left everything behind for you back in Korea. I was so happy for you, enough for me to say goodbye to everyone and everything I loved before coming to this place where I knew no one. I didn't give a damn about my position back in Korea, all I cared about was you, was us. And now you're-

Sori : and are you asking for something in return? Did you do all of that expecting me to give you some prize for it? Because the way you're saying it, it doesn't make it sound like you did all that because of your love for me, but rather as if you did it for your own benefit of some sort.

San : sori!

Sori : if you loved me and did all of that for me, then you wouldn't be using that as some sort of a excuse, san. As if…as if since you did that for me then, I should just deal with you being lazy right now.

San : I AM NOT ASKING YOU FOR ANYTHING, SORI! I AM BEGGING YOU TO UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION!

Sori : WHAT FUCKING SITUATION, SAN! IT IS NOT AS IF I'M ASKING YOU TO DIE FOR ME?

San : I do not know this place, sori! This is all new for me, hell, I don’t even know their language properly!

Sori : and neither do I but I'm still trying to fight through this!

San : JESUS, give me a break!

San turned around, about to leave. But just then sori stepped further forward, blocking his way once again as she said

Sori : this cannot continue.

San : let me go, sori.

Sori : I will not let you ruin this household.

San : I'M NOT FUCKING RUINING ANYTHING SORI!

Sori : GOD I WISH I WOULD'VE LEFT YOU WHEN I COULD! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE WITH ME!

San stepped back at those words, a tear slipping down his eyes as sori said

Sori : if I'd have chosen to come here alone back then, I could've ridden myself off of a fucking burden now.

San let out a sob as his hands came to cover his mouth, sori's heart dropping as she came back to her senses and realized what she'd just said.

Sori : oh…oh no. San I-

San : a-a burden…?

Sori shook her head desperately, tears filling her own eyes now as she tried to step forward in order to hold san. But he only stepped further backward, lips trembling as tears slipped down his cheeks

Sori : san-ah-

Sori cut herself off as san ran out of their apartment, banging the door shut behind him. Sori let out an exasperated sob as she slid down onto the floor, covering her face as she cursed at herself for being so fucking stupid.

_______________________________

Sori tried calling san a million times, it had been 4 hours since he'd left the house. The first hour and a half sori had done nothing except sit against the couch, tears streaming down her eyes continuously. She hated that she'd hurt him like that, and the way he looked at her kept replaying in her mind, tearing her heart apart. And then she had tried calling him, worry filling her at how late it was getting. And it had been the 56th time now, he still wasn't picking it up.

The clock above her read 4:45 and sori was almost having a panic attack at this point. Her breathing was getting shallower and her vision getting more blurry as time passed. Sori clenched her trembling hands together, trying her best to breathe properly. She wanted san, she needed him so bad. She wanted him to come home.

Sori suddenly stood up as she heard the door opening, heavy footsteps coming closer to her as the sight of a drenched san came into her view. Sori let out a sob of relief before running up to him, hugging san as hard as she could as sori sobbed against his chest.

Sori : I'm so sorry. I'm sorry please don't leave me. I-

San : if this is how you are from me leaving for a few hours, how are you going to handle me leaving your life completely?

Sori cried harder at his harsh words, wrapping her arms even tighter around her boyfriend as she said

Sori : please just…I was out of my mind, I was-I was too angry with everything. And you were an outlet and I-I took it out on you when I nev-never should have and I'm so sorry.

San : are you done?

Sori : san-ah-

San : if you're done, let go. I need to sleep.

Sori pulled back, her breathing still heavy as tears streamed down her eyes.

Sori : san? I love you.

San let out a breath, walking away from sori without another word as she stared after him helplessly. What was she going to do now?

_________________________________

Sori looked up as san walked into the dining room next morning, his hair brushed and his clothes pressed neatly. Sori looked up at the clock, realizing that it was only 8am. San's shift on Wednesdays always only began at 10pm.

Sori : you're going so early?

Sori stood up from the ground as she received no answer, san putting his shoes on as sori walked up to him and said

Sori : san, you haven't had breakfast-

San : I don't need it.

Saying that san stepped out of the house, shutting the door at sori's face. She let out a breath, stepping back as she tried blinking her stupid tears away. She deserved this treatment from san, but it still hurt. Sori walked up to her room, deciding that she should probably leave for work as well.

___________________________________

3 days later :

Sori : are you going to keep ignoring me?

Sori eyed san who continued eating his dinner with no expressions, his eyes still focused on his phone. It had been 3 days since this went on, san ignoring every little thing sori would try to do, as if she didn’t exist anymore. It made her feel invisible, in a terrible way, and she wished they could go back to what they were. But it wasn't helping that san worked overtime now, and sori would rarely ever see him anymore. It was as if he was trying to distance them from each other.

Sori missed him, she wanted him back, she wanted to touch him again, wanted him to look at her again, but it wasn't happening.

Sori : are you never going to talk to me again?

Once again, no reply.

Sori : I keep telling you I'm sorry, san-ah. Why won't you listen to me?

San stood up from his seat, grabbing his empty plate and keeping it in the dishwasher before going up to his room and shutting the door behind him. Sori let out a breath, biting her lips as she kept her untouched salad plate back in the fridge. She wasn't hungry anymore.

___________________________

A month later :

Sori looked up as she heard the door to their apartment opening, quickly standing up as she noticed san walking up to where she was earlier sitting.

Sori : san-

San : I need to talk to you.

Sori's eyes lighted up at those words, her heart racing in relief. Finally, the torture's going to be over now.

San : I'm leaving.

Sori froze, her heart dropping immediately. No, he probably doesn't mean what she thinks he does.

Sori : for…for vacations? Who are you going with-

San : no, sori, I'm leaving this place, for good.

Sori : and me? What am I going to do?

San : that is your choice, and not my concern. If you choose to stay here, you can, but without me. That will cut down your costs, I'm sure. It'll all be easier, better-

Sori : no. This…you can’t just leave like that.

San : I can, and as a matter of fact tomorrow will be my last day at the hospital. After that, I'm going back to Korea, back to my family, and back home.

Sori : home. You once told me that I was your home, that wherever I was, that would be home to you. Has that changed now?

San looked away, not saying anything. Sori stepped closer, holding san's collar as she asked, tears in her eyes

Sori : answer me, san. Has it all changed? Do you not love me anymore?

San : stop doing this.

Sori : it hasn't changed for me, nothing has. You're still my home, you're still all that I want, I still love you, san.

San : oh yeah? Is that why you called me a burden? Wished that I hadn't come along with you? I'm making your wishes come true now, and then you're asking me not to go? What sense does that-

Sori : san I didn’t mean them! I would never really wish for you to go! I was just scared you'd lose your job, and that we wouldn't be able to afford living here anymore.

San : that's what I'm trying to solve, sori!

Sori : by leaving? I'd rather go bankrupt here than have you leave me!

San stepped away from sori, taking her hands off of his shirt as he said

San : I can’t do this anymore.

Sori : no please-

San : I'm leaving, and that's final.

Sori let out an exasperated breath as she shook her head, rushing to walk past san as she held his hand in hers before saying

Sori : you don’t have to work anymore.

San : what?

Sori : just…do whatever you want, work or not work. But please just don’t leave. I'll manage the finances, I'll do everything and I won’t complain anymore-

San : sori, are you hearing yourself? Why would I make you do all of that while just sitting idle-

Sori : I DON’T CARE, SAN! I DO NOT CARE I JUST WANT YOU TO FUCKING STAY WITH ME!

San paused as sori let out a sob, her eyes now trained on the floor as she said

Sori : I cannot live here without you, I have no one else here san. Please don’t abandon me.

San's eyes teared up as sori slid down to the floor, his hands quickly coming up to catch her as san brought sori closer to his body. She wrapped her arms around his neck as san held her waist, sori's head now buried into his chest as she cried

Sori : please don’t go, I'm so sorry.

San : sori-ya-

Sori : no no, I can't-

San : baby, listen to me.

Sori let out a hiccup, her arms around san tightening as he brought his hand towards the back of her head before saying

San : I felt out of place here, sori-ya. I had this patient in my hospital, an old man who was abandoned by his family and got sick while being at the old age care home. He had lung cancer, stage 3 when brought in. he's been getting chemo for a year now, and the day I came back home that night and we fought? That was the day he died.

Sori shut her eyes tightly, more guilt filling her as san continued

San : that, and the homesickness I had been feeling that particular month, and the feeling that you hated me because of how messy I was being with this life all added up together made me feel miserable, sori. And that anger, I took out on you through plain silence.

Sori : I didn’t know I'm so sorry-

San : it's not your fault, it is mine for not having told you all of this. We could've communicated properly if I'd have just told you what was going on with me, but I didn't want to put my burden on you so…so it led to all this.

Sori nodded as san said

San : I don’t hate this place, sori-ya. But I miss home, I miss my family, I miss our people, it's been 5 years since I saw them.

Sori : I miss them too, san-ah. We can visit them, you know. Stay in Korea for a while and then come back here?

San : would you want that?

Sori : if this is what makes you happy, I would always want it, san.

San pulled back, cupping sori's cheek as he said

San : do you want me to not come back?

Sori pressed her lips together, tears filling her eyes as she said

Sori : I want to be with you till I die, san. I…why would I ever not want you to come back?

San smiled, leaning forward and resting his forehead against sori's as he whispered

San : I love you.

Sori : you do?

San nodded, his tears staining sori's shirt as he whispered

San : I have never not loved you, sori-ya. I just kept thinking it would be better for you if I were gone-

Sori : don't you dare say that, ever. You're the best thing in my life, san, you always will be.

San : you're the best thing in my life too, shin sori.

Sori : and you have to promise me that you'll tell me all of this from now, san. Whenever you're sad, tell me what makes you sad. When you're happy, tell me what makes you happy. When you're excited, tell me why. Tell me everything, any day. Your problems are mine, and so are your burdens.

San : yes ma'am.

Sori smiled, pecking san's lips as she whispered

Sori : and I love you too.

______________________________

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