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#sanemi angst
midnightwriter21 · 10 months
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demon slayer hcs: the hashira men w/ a demon!SO that’s immune to sunlight pt2
characters: fem!reader x sanemi
warnings: blood, injuries, language, angst
pt. 1 w rengoku and giyuu HERE
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SANEMI
this poor man can just never be happy huh
now i find it very hard to believe that sanemi would be with a regular civilian
he’s gotta know that his SO is able to take care of themself
SO
ur a slayer and you guys are paired up on a mission together
there were reports of several low ranking demons being sighted in a town
so Sanemi decides to split up and to meet back up when the sun begins to rise
when you don’t show up at the meeting place he knows something is very very wrong
tears through the town looking for you
and he finds you alright
laying in a pool of your own blood
haori torn to shreds
sword broken
he doesn’t even walk toward you
he’s frozen
his blood has literally gone cold
stands there staring at your broken body until the kakushi arrive
when they do they quickly realize that you are alive and sanemi snatches your limp body from them and SPRINTS to the butterfly mansion
he hands you off to Shinobu who gets to work immediately
he waits there for her to give him an update
and boy does she
you? a demon?
his sweet loving girlfriend is a demon?
it can’t be true. you were laying in the sun.
he tells shinobu this and she says that she’ll have to do some more testing when you wake up
it’s 3 days later when you finally do wake up
and when you do you’re greeted with 2 low ranking slayers pointing their swords at your neck
of course they had to keep you guarded in case you woke up and needed a snack
the human kind
screaming for shinobu she rushes into the room
she sends the slayers out and quickly explains what has happened to you
you ask for sanemi
and your heart breaks when she tells you that he hasn’t visited
not once since she told him what you had become
a few more days pass with shinobu running a bunch of tests
she concludes that you’re somehow immune to the sun and that you don’t have an appetite for humans
and still no sign of sanemi
he hasn’t responded to any of your letters either
when shinobu releases you from her care you head to sanemi’s estate
when you knock on his door he opens, looks at you
and then slams it right back in your face
so you leave
as the weeks pass you throw urself into training with Nezuko who you’ve become friends with
but other than to train you don’t leave your estate
you have locked yourself away from the world
believing that sanemi hates you because of what you are
a monster
it’s not until Genya visits you and sees how pitiful you look that something is done
Genya storms to his brothers home
the ground practically shaking under his steps
Genya literally slaps some sense into Sanemi
like actually slaps the shit outta him
Genya is the only person that could get away with something like that other than you lol
not 10 minutes after genya left your home you get a very hesitant knock on your door
you don’t answer
so Sanemi takes it upon himself to walk in
and he finds you sitting on the floor staring at the wall with a blank look on your face
he sets a gentle hand on your shoulder and you don’t react
you don’t move a muscle
you don’t even blink
it’s as if you’re in a trance
he takes in the dark circles under your eyes
and the frown that looks like it’s permanently stretched across your face
and the guilt hits him full force
kneeling next to you and pulling you into his lap
he buries his face into your hair
and he cries
“i’m so fucking sorry”
“if i didn’t decide to split up this wouldn’t have happened”
“it’s my fucking fault”
and then he feels you pull away from him
his eyes are still closed with tears slipping down his face
and then a small cold hand is wiping the tears from his face
“you left me” you say
and his eyes shoot open
to see you with tears in your eyes
he looks away
“i can’t look at you knowing that this is my fault” he says in between cries
“why are you here now?” you ask
he pulls you back into his chest and say
“Genya told me how you’ve been acting and I can’t stand knowing that you’re unhappy”
you push yourself closer to him and say
“if you want me to be happy, then stay”
he takes a deep breath
“i’ll stay��
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sanemi-whore · 8 months
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All Night (Cruel World Pt.2)
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Thankfully (for Sanemi's sake) you return from Final Selection alive and well. However, you being apart of the Demon Slayer Corps has his nerves going insane. To assure your safety, you often attend missions alongside him. word count: 15.150 warning: character death, blood, jealousy, cursing, smut, dark themes, aphrodisiac, anxiety, impregnation kink, mentions of abortion @roaringlion @kiki17483
Part One | Masterlist | Final Part
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You felt old next to the other Final Selection survivors and the thought causes your heart to ache. You were an adult, far from the young age of 14 - the youngest apart of the survivors. To think children join the Demon Slayer Corps and put their lives at risk in order to help others - you wonder how old Sanemi was when he joined. Or Genya - all of the slayers you’ve met. 
The morning sun shines bright ahead of you and the other five survivors. Your eyes look forward to the mountaintop shrine, a soft smile forming on your lips at the two children standing before the survivors. 
“Welcome back.” they say in Unison. “Congratulations on completing Final Selection. We’re pleased to see that you’re all safe..”
There’s a low sniffle beside you. You hum at the sight - a young boy no older than 16. You recall just how terrified he was to encounter a demon coming at him with such speed that he barely managed to dodge its attack. It was raining that night and the boy's burgundy hair was clouding his vision. You intervene, slashing the demon’s neck. The boy, Shinra, never left your side until now. 
“First we must issue you all uniforms once we take your correct measurements.” the dark haired child started.
“Then we’ll engrave your rank on the back of your hand.” the white haired child continued.
“You then will be given the chance to select the ore that will be used to forge your weapon - swords. It will be 10-15 days before said weapons are ready to use.”
The black haired child claps their hands twice. Above you hear several crows, flocking their wings. You're excited, nearly ecstatic. You recall the many times you’ve been berated by Muichiro’s crow and how she loved him dearly that you wished to have your own. 
A crow flocks onto your shoulders. It flocks its wings several times before stopping, inspecting your face. 
“Now that you all are demon slayers, you are each assigned Kasugai Crows.” the white haired child spoke. “They are used to facilitate communication.”
The black haired child turned away to remove the long, blue cloth that laid above a table.”Now the time has come for you to choose an ore for your sword.” he says, revealing several ore’s for each of you to choose. 
“Shinra.” you call to the boy beside you, still sniffling. “Let’s go choose our Ore.”
Shinra’s eyes are wide as you speak to him, but he nods nonetheless. He follows you closely as each of the survivors inspect the ore’s.  You yourself are none the wiser choosing an ore. You contemplate having laid your eyes upon an ore and just thought it was another random rock.
“Which one should we choose, Shinra?” you smile at the boy. “I sense…that one,” you point to a medium sized ore. “Is a good fit for me.”
Shinra furrows a burgundy brow, “H-How do you know?” he murmurs. 
“I can just feel it.” you respond. You go to grab it.
Shinra’s eyes - a beautiful shade of azure,  widen and he too grabs an ore - the one directly next to yours. “Okay.” he nods. 
Soon you make your journey back to Sanemi’s estate. Your legs are aching for a break, but you do not allow them to stop. Your kasugai crow, who you learned was named Hiyori, now laid upon your shoulder as you walked. She had since grew tired of flying above you once she realized you had no intention of stopping for the night. How could you? You passed Final Selection and now was an actual Demon Slayer. 
The sky was now a dark violet color when you arrived back at the estate. You had many people to see - you agreed to visit Aoi, Sumi, Kiyo and Naho once you returned. You grew close with the young girls, often visiting them when you didn’t have to train until you dropped. You would have to thank Uzui, Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma for your combat training; Muichiro (and Ginko because she wouldn’t allow you to not acknowledge her if you met with him). Mitsuri promised you pancakes one you returned and you were craving them with extra honey - her western cooking was the best you’ve ever had. 
You opened the shoji doors of Sanemi’s estate. It’s quiet inside and doesn’t appear to have anyone in it. You make your way around the estate and hum, Sanemi was not here. 
You didn’t let the fact bother you. Sanemi was a hashira after all and had responsibilities. He could possibly be doing his rounds before he returned home.
You take this time to bathe, allowing all the grime to be released from your skin was refreshing. You’re unsure how long you’ve bathed for, but once your hands begin to wrinkle was when you decided to get out. You were refreshed now, dressed now in a light kimono tied loosely and your hair in a low bun.
You decide to do another round around the estate for Sanemi. You can hear them - faint footsteps.It’s coming from the opposite side of the mansion. Your feet begin to sprint across the cold hardwood floor, a wide smile on your lips.
Sanemi was here, you note, dressed in his usual Hashira attire. He appeared to have just came in from his rounds as you suspected. 
“Nemi!” you exclaim, jumping to wrap your arms around the man. He doesn’t move back an inch, even with the impact of you crashing into him. 
Sanemi’s nostrils fill with your scent - the familiar scent that he had longed to smell for the last week. His nerves begin to calm themselves at your touch, unaware that since you've been gone that he was unable to focus on anything but your survival. 
“I’m back from Final Selection!” your heart is pumping with excitement. “I even have my own crow like you all! Her name’s Hiyori!” you continue to babble on and on about everything that happened during your week, still wrapping him in a tight embrace. 
Your face then crashes into his chest and you’re silent. Sanemi doesn’t notice it at first - he assumes you were overwhelmed with emotions to fully focus on one topic at a time. But then his bare chest feels it. Wet - were you crying?
Sanemi gets his answer when your shoulders shake and his chest appears to be even more wet. He gulps, unsure on what to do. Why were you suddenly crying? Sanemi didn’t deal with emotions well. He hated when the lower ranks would cry, it irritated him to no end. It didn’t help either that they were often crying because of him - but that's besides the point. 
Sanemi places a hand upon your head. “Y/N…” he trails off. “What’s wrong?”
Your face lifts to look at Sanemi. There it was again - the jolt. He hadn’t felt the jolt in his heart in a week and swears he was cured of whatever sickness he had. Your eyes are teary and wet, lashes sticking to one another. 
“I’m so happy!” you sob, lips quivering. 
Happy?
You were crying because you were happy?
Sanemi’s shoulders falter and now, he finds himself wanting to laugh.
“I’m happy that I passed Final Selection and you didn’t waste your time training me.” you continue, wiping your tears away with your shoulder so you wouldn’t have to unwrap your arms from Sanemi. “I’m happy I was given the opportunity to make my own decision and not be fated to one.” you’re continuing to ramble on about how happy you truly were - claiming to be happy to be surrounded by such positive people even if they were working in less than positive situations. 
You do end up unwrapping your arms around Sanemi to fall to your knees. You’re bowing before him, tears not stopping. “Thank you, Sanemi.”
Sanemi gasps, but he doesn’t stiffen. “Y/N, you don’t-”
“I’m grateful that I’ve gotten to train besides you and the other Hashira and slayers.” you’re sobbing full on now, dramatic tears leaking onto the floor. “I promise to make you proud as your tsuguko! I’ll do my best on all my missions!”
Sanemi inhales. His heart is beating rapidly and he’s unsure how to respond to you. To think that he, a Hashira of many years now and had fought demons upon demons…was going to die now due to heart failure. He hoped that Shinobu and Aoi would be the first two to cry at his funeral for denying him (a fucking Hashira at that) service. 
Sanemi’s mind wanders. He’s happy, as well, he supposes. Genya was alive and well, even if he refused to look his brother's way, he often kept tabs on him. Sorai would tell him everything Genya did when he wasn’t on missions. You were alive now, as well. Overly emotional and grateful as ever. Sanemi finds himself silently thanking whatever God there was out there that you wouldn’t be yet another death on his conscience.
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Sanemi slams the door of the butterfly mansion open, a feral look upon his face. Naho jumps, her braids swinging around towards the sound. Kiyo’s eyes widen at Sanemi while Sumi quivers. “Where’s Kocho or Kanzaki?” he hisses at the three girls. 
“S-Shinobu-san said-”
“I do not care.” Sanemi dismisses them. He doesn’t see either of the two girls he’s looking for and he turns away from them. He stalks down the halls of the butterfly mansion, in coming slayers flinging themselves into the wall just to avoid him and his wrath. 
It takes another five minutes to find Shinobu and it only took him slamming open three shoji doors. 
“Shinazugawa.” Shinobu’s soft smile doesn’t falter, not even when she’s annoyed with her office being intruded. She leans back in her seat and tilts her head at him. 
“It happened again.” Sanemi exclaims.
Shinobu raises a brow.
“My heart jolted again yesterday. Matter of fact,” Sanemi steps inside the office. “it didn’t stop jolting for another 30 minutes.”
Shinobu snickers. “Y/N must be back from Final Selection already.” she notes, more to herself than as a statement to Sanemi. “Please tell her to come visit us at the Butterfly Mansion for any injuries she may have.”
Sanemi’s eyes are glaring at the younger girl. “What the hell does that have to do with my heart?!” he was growing irate by the second. Each time he came to this place he was kicked out by giggling girls. 
“I’ve checked your heart countless times, Shinazugawa.” Shinobu states with a shake of her head. “There’s nothing wrong with it or you.”
Sanemi sighs and scoffs. 
“Maybe you’re in denial?” Shinobu shrugs her shoulders. 
“In denial?” Sanemi hisses. “You and that other little brat are in denial about my health!”
Shinobu wants to laugh right now, but having Sanemi constantly come into the Butterfly Mansion and scaring the nurses (and the slayers) was becoming overwhelming. 
“My,” Shinobu manages to giggle. “have you…ever thought that your heart is jolting only when a certain someone is around you?”
Sanemi’s eyes squint. “Where the hell are you getting at?”
“That maybe you’ve failed to realize that your heart is jolting because you happen to…like Y/N?” Shinobu doesn’t want to cause Sanemi to convulse by saying the word “love” just yet. “There’s studies that show that boys are less smarter than girls, so I’m not surprised you cannot tell the difference between pain and feelings.”
Sanemi’s ears and neck darken a crimson color and his hands clenched into fists. Shinobu’s now full on laughing at him. He’s had enough of her and Uzui’s constant teasing.
“Fuck off.” Sanemi hisses and then turns to walk away. 
“Shinazugawa!” Shinobu calls before he can storm down the hallway. “I think she likes you, too. So do the rest of the Hashira.” 
Sanemi doesn’t say anything and Shinobu doesn’t expect him to, but the blush on his cheeks don’t go unnoticed. 
Sanemi makes his way out of the Butterfly Mansion and back towards his estate. He managed to bring his breathing calm, but his mind is going crazy. He thinks of you and how each time he was with you, his heart goes insane and his mind seems to go blink. His anger appears to subside when you speak to him with such a soft smile. Your eyes never show any disgust towards him, instead they’re kind and warm.
“Nemi!”
Your voice echoes through his ears from behind him. He hasn’t seen you the last few hours and when he turns, he’s shocked to see your appearance. He swallows, throat quickly running dry. You’re running towards him, a wide smile on your lips. He notes that he’s rarely seen your skin - such smooth skin that now appears to shine underneath the afternoon sun. You’ve gotten your uniform and appeared to be an exact replica of Mitsuri.
“I got my uniform!” you say excitedly when you reach Sanemi.
Sanemi looks away to not catch himself staring too long at your appearance. 
“Is that Y/N-chan?” 
“She’s so cute!”
You’re beaming at Sanemi and he feels just how hot his body begins to feel. 
“Do you feel comfortable?” Sanemi asks. You never showed this amount of skin before.
You slowly nod your head. “It’ll take some getting used to, I suppose.” you respond.
Sanemi licks his lips. His eyes roam around the area to find several slayers looking their way - your way. His nerves were now kicking in at the eyes on you.
“Do I look nice?” you ask him. “I do think it’ll be a little chilly with the uniform, but I think I’ll be alright.” you giggle to yourself.
“Is Shinazugawa-sama blushing again?”
“Why do all the girls go for guys like him?!” a slayer throws his hands in the air.
“Here.” Sanemi removes his haori and hands it over to you. He isn’t looking at you when he does so. “So you don’t get cold.”
“Shinazugawa-sama is such a nice boyfriend!” a female slayer gushes. 
“Who knew he was such a-”
The slayers scurry off when a pair of lilac eyes glare at them.
You take hold of the haori with wide eyes. “But what about you, Nemi?”
“I got more.” Sanemi shrugs nonchalantly. 
“Hm,” you hum, feeling the fabric in your hands. “Thank you. I’ll wear it on all my missions!” you place the haori over your shoulders and sigh happily.
Sanemi’s heart clenches and he inaudible sighs.
“Are you going back home?” you ask him. “I can cook us lunch if you don’t have anything to do!”
Sanemi nods and remains quiet.
“Good! Let’s go!” you hook your arm in his and begin walking.
Sanemi doesn’t mind your closeness, even if it does leave him surprised each time by just how willing you are to be entangled with him. While the pair of you stroll back to the estate in a comfortable silence, he’s thinking about just how nice you did look in your uniform - and how he didn’t like if anyone else thought the same.
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When you suggested eating, Sanemi didn’t think you would invite others. You’ve just finished cooking when a knock sounds on his shoji doors. Sanemi doesn’t answer and you’re scurrying off to answer it yourself. The door opens and you’re beaming widely. 
Sanemi wants to scoff when his brother is behind the door - him, for some odd reason Tokito and an unknown slayer with burgundy hair. 
“I hope we are not intruding.” he murmurs to you, eyes only glancing at his brother for a moment. He hadn’t spoken to Sanemi in two weeks - not since the incident. 
You are, Sanemi wants to say, but he only snickers to himself instead. 
“Of course not!” you usher for them to enter. “I hope you all are hungry.”
Tokito remains silent when he sits upon the cushioned floor. He’s seated beside Genya and beside him, the unknown burgundy haired boy.
You go to serve the food for them, Sanemi grumbling to himself. He wanted to be with you - alone - not in his own home surrounded by brats.
You take your seat beside Sanemi and smile at the group of boys. “Please, eat.”
Muichiro wastes no time in doing as he’s told. Genya can feel eyes upon him, the glaring lilac eyes of his elder brother. He tries to think of your words two weeks prior - that Sanemi did love and care for him. It was hard believing you. He never made any attempt to speak with him after the fact and he grew slightly afraid that he would attempt to hurt him again if he tried. 
“I met Shinra during Final Selection.” you tell Sanemi after a few bites of the pork cutlet. “He’s so cute.” you gush.
Shinra’s cheeks flushed crimson at the sound of his name and the compliment. He feels two sets of eyes on him - one from the white haired man who he learned quickly was a Hashira and then the boy with dark hair and a mohawk. They’re glaring, he notes, with such dark eyes and hatred. 
“Look’s weak.” Sanemi retorts, sinking his teeth in the broccoli you steamed. 
“Very.” Genya snorts.
Muichiro turns his eyes to look at Shinra and hums in agreement.
“That’s not nice.” you frown at the three of them. “Shinra’s is a very capable swordsman.”
Genya had no issue with the burgundy haired boy. He appeared to be close in age with him and Tokito. However, if he had your affection then that meant it was taken away from his brother (and him) and he didn’t like it.
“Shinra even helped me defeat a demon, right, Shinra-kun?”
Shinra feels his throat clog up at the amount of eyes on him. He finds himself nodding - even if it wasn’t the truth. You were lying to save him the embarrassment and that caused even more self-pity in him. 
“Is that so?” Sanemi snickers. He leans forward. “He doesn’t even look like he knows how to hold a sword. I’m to believe someone like him helped you?”
You nod your head. You weren’t going to let them bring down Shinra’s self esteem about himself.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t go on missions yourself.” Sanemi states. “If you need help from a weakling.”
Genya watches the way his brother glares at Shinra and now he understands where this was going. 
Sanemi was jealous - for no reason. Shinra was (for now) a weakling Mizunoto, yet you shared the rank with him. You were just lucky enough to have trained alongside several Hashira. Shinra was also only a child while you were an adult and only had eyes for Sanemi - but he knew his brother well enough to know that anyone was competition.
“Y/L-san is an amazing swordsman…woman…” Shinra’s voice is low and barely audible. He’s scared to even look the white haired man in the face but he’s grown great respect for you. “She killed the most demons during Final Selection…”
“How many did you kill?” Sanemi questions. 
“I-I…” Shinra gulps. He hasn’t killed nearly as much as you or the other survivors. He only managed to cut the heads of three - and even that took a lot out of him. 
“How about this,” Sanemi takes a bite of the pork and stands. “you show me just how good of a swordsman you are.”
“We’re eating.” you sigh, watching as Sanemi rounds the table to put (more like snatch) Shinra’s shoulder. 
“It’ll only be a moment.” Sanemi yanks Shinra from his cushioned seat and pulls him to his feet. “I have an extra sword.”
Shinra is visibly shaking in Sanemi’s tight hold. He’s pushed out the door and it causes Muichiro to snort. “Y/N.”
“Huh, yes, Tokito?” you say to him, smiling apologetically. “Is the food alright?
Muichiro nods. He licks his lips before his eyes turn to you. “Please tell Shinazugawa that no one is planning on stealing you from him.” he says nonchalantly. “All the slayers that do voice their attractions are scared of being castrated.”
You laugh nervously, eyes going wide. You feel yourself grow hot with embarrassment. 
“Genya even threatens a few that talk about you suggestively.”
Genya whips his head to glare at Muichiro, cheeks flushed. “I do not!” he hisses, denying rather quickly.
“Yes you do.” Muichiro takes a sip of his drink. “You talk down to anyone that thinks they could speak to Y/N.” Muichiro scoffs. And he was supposed to be the one with memory issues.
You get up from your cushioned seat and nod your head at the two (now bickering, more on Genya’s side than Muichiro) boys. You place a hand on both of their heads and it silences them. “You two are so cute.” you tell them. “Makes me wish I had younger siblings.” your eyes glance outside. You were going to have to save Shinra from Sanemi’s torture right about now.
You bow and excuse yourself and make your way out the shoji doors just as Sanemi swings a wooden sword Shinra’s way. “Sanemi!” you call, eyes glaring at the man. “Leave Shinra alone! We’ve come here for lunch not to train!”
Shinra’s able to dodge Sanemi’s attack by the grace of God, sweat pooling down his forehead and whimpering for whoever to save him.
Sanemi stops his attack and turns to you. You appeared to be upset, eyebrows knitted to a scowl. Your arms are crossed and for a split second his eyes flicker to your breast pressed together. 
“Shinra, let’s finish up your lunch, yeah?” you tell the boy who nods his head, far too excited to be away from the white haired maniac. 
As Shinra enters the house once more, your eyes turn to Sanemi. “What’s that about?”
Sanemi drops his wooden swords and goes to make his way back into his home. You step in front of the man. “You can’t keep harassing the slayers. They’re terrified of you!”
Sanemi scoffs. “If they’re terrified of me then a demon would have their fucking heads.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re a scary man.” 
Sanemi tilts his head and crosses his own arms. “You aren’t afraid of me.”
“Of course not.” you give him a teasing smile. “You’re nice when I’m around.”
Sanemi grumbles; maybe that’s why others would rather you be present if they had to approach him. 
“Promise me,” you begin, coming closer to him. You take his large, calloused hands in your soft ones. “That you won’t keep harassing the slayers. Especially Shinra and Genya.”
Sanemi groans. He likes the soft and gentleness of your hands on his own.
“I can’t promise that.” Sanemi says. “They all enjoy pissing me off.”
You giggle. “But they avoid you!” you exclaim. “Just try.”
Sanemi nods his head with a roll of his eyes. “Whatever.” he mumbles.
You wrap your pinky around his longer one, a tint of mischief in your eyes. “Swear.”
“Swear.” Sanemi murmurs. “Whoever lies will be made to swallow a thousand needles.” the two of you say in unison, a wide smile on your lips and a low one on his.
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“CAW! Y/L Y/N is to report to Chiyoda City! A demon has been sighted in the Shrine!” Hiyori soars above you, her wings flapping.
Your eyes widen and you stand to your feet excitedly. “We’re going on a mission? Our first mission!” you were ready for a mission the same day you were given your nichirin sword.- a long sword with a black handguard that wraps right above your hand, offering an amazing grip. The blade is long and shiny against the bright sun - an emerald color shining down the sharpest part of the blade.
“Sanemi’s doing his rounds. I’m sad he wasn’t home to hear.” you feel saddened, but this was your moment to make him proud and assure that you’d come back safe. 
You make your journey out of the estate with Hiyori flying above you, leading the way. You’re pumping with excitement that it’s ridiculous. You were going head first to a demon - but you were bouncing with joy as if you were meeting your husband. You were just ecstatic to kill as many demons as you could and work your way up the ranks. You heard the amount of people wishing to become Hashira, but you’re content not being one. The 9 Hashira you’ve met were more than amazing at their jobs.
You reach the area in the middle of the night, the moon shining brightly and the area quietly. The air appears to be murky and foggy, a low fog that’s nearly blinding. You slow your walk, drawing your blade while your eyes scan the area. 
A sound to your left heightens your senses. More sounds from your right, above and even forward you. Small figures appear, no taller than toddler sizes. They’re demons - eyes black and soulless. There’s scars oozing blood beneath both of their eyes and there's a shadowy smoke that surrounds them as they push closer to you. As they come closer, you note that they appear to be floating rather than walking.
You raise your sword and swing when one shadowy figure lungs at you. You slice at their head, cutting off each one with swift movements - but they appear to never stop coming. It’s as though as soon as you kill one, five more come sprinting after you. Each shadowy figure has their own weapon - a knife, sword, cutlass.
“That man despises you.” a gravelly voice hisses behind you. The shadowy figures disappear and you’re left in complete silence.
You turn around, eyes glaring into the darkness. “Show yourself!” you call into said darkness.
Your feet walk stealthy behind the shrine where what appears to be a large pond is located. The water is still; unnerved. 
“You’re nothing to him!” the same voice hisses, this time besides you and now you sense it. A hand slams against your cheek and you’re sent flying towards the pond. It wasn’t deep, luckily, and you managed to keep your sword clenched into your hands. 
You leep from the pond just as the demon lunges at you. It appears to be a woman. She’s tall, appearing just a few inches smaller than Uzui. Her eye sockets are wide but they’re soulless, no pupils in sight. Her hair is long and flowy behind her, but appears to be wet and stringy. Her skin is a dull gray color and she’s snarling at you.
“Look at you,” the demon snarls, her fingernails gnawing at her skin. “So young and beautiful. No man will ever respect such a whore!”
The demon lunges at you once more and you manage to cut her hand off, long claws falling onto the ground below you. 
A loud, blood curdling scream echoes off the trees, coming from the demon. The sound is unbearable and you’re sure the demon is causing your ears to bleed. 
You got to your knees. 
“What would your father think seeing you now?” a voice says. 
“What about your mother? Your brother?”
The atmosphere appears colder now, the screams of the demon growing louder and louder. 
“What do you think Sanemi would think of you once you die here?” the screams appear louder and you’re certain your ears are bleeding. “When you die here tonight, you will be forgotten - just like your father forgot about you.”
You can feel the anger inside of you bubbling at the taunting words of the demon. “Come with me, I’ll put you out of your miserable misery.”
You lift your sword, trying your hardest to ignore the ringing in your ear. The demon flings itself at you and in one quick movement, you’re dodging its attack and slicing off her other hand. You get to your feet, sprinting towards the Demon. It wails loudly once more, but you ignore the painful ringing in your ears. “Wind Breathing: Second Form!” you lift the sword upwards towards the right and above your head. You release four vertical slashes resembling claws towards the demon. “Claws-Purifying Wind!”
You dash towards the Demon as your attack slashes them, black blood oozing out from their wounds. You make it your mission to get rid of this demon once and for all, raising your sword and bringing it down on the demon's neck. 
You drop to your feet, eyes on the demon's head a few feet away.The screaming releasing from its throat grows silent by the second as the head begins to disintegrate. 
It takes you a moment to move, your mind racing at the words the demon said.
That man despises you.
No man will ever respect a whore.
When you die here, you’ll be forgotten.
You sheathe your sword and begin to walk. Your ears are ringing as you make your way back towards your destination, Hiyori flying above you. By the time you’d return, the sun will be present and you’d hope to come face to face with Sanemi once more. You’ve grown close to the man and it causes you great shame to know that the words of the demon got to you; causing your heart to ache. You no longer cared about your fathers thoughts about you; you dealt with the man for years and his harsh ways. But the thought of Sanemi - someone you considered to be a great friend, even someone you loved dearly - forgetting about you; despising you. 
You exhale, deciding to pick up your pace to get back to the estate - and Sanemi - faster.
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Sanemi’s sword slices against the tatami mat, slicing with ease. His mind is on you and when you are due to return. He’s upset that you were set on a mission - your first one at that - while he was out on his own. He’s positive that you were ecstatic and jumping with joy - it causes his heart to beat harder. He regrets not being there to send you off, even when his nerves screams at him to find you.
You’re an adult, he tells himself.
You’re now a slayer, fully capable of fighting low-level demons.
But still, you were someone he cared about.
Sanemi cannot keep his mind at ease when Genya is away on missions, now that he has you and his brother on his mind, he’s sure he’ll never find peace. 
Sorai, Sanemi’s crow, flocks his wings and places himself on a sliced tatami mat. The words released from the crows mouth has Sanemi’s eyes widening and his blood going cold.
Rengoku.
Dead.
Kyojuro is dead.
Sanemi’s right hand clenches his sword in his palm.
“I will annihilate all unsightly demons.” he hisses, turning away to make his way out of his home. His heart is pumping out his chest now and his nerves are screaming.
Kyojuro was a Hashira - a skilled one. What did that mean for you and Genya? You were out on a mission as we speak, too far away to know of Kyojuro’s death but that doesn’t ease his nerves one bit. He feels jittery. His mind is wandering to you fighting whatever demon you were sent out to and returning with serious injuries. His heart clenches when his mind flashes with you covered in blood, body lifeless. 
“Sorai!” Sanemi hisses and his crow squawks. “Go find Y/N.”
Sorai flocks his wings and begins his journey. Lilac eyes follow him until he’s nothing but a mere figure in the sky. 
Sanemi inhales deeply and exhales. He runs a calloused hand through his hair and down his face. He notices that his hand is trembling lightly with nerves.
You release a low sigh when you notice the familiar sight of the Butterfly Mansion. Your body aches and your ears are still ringing, but you manage to make it in one piece.
“CAW!”
Sharp feet landed upon your head.You hiss at the impact, wailing your hands around. “Sorai?” you murmur. “Where’s Sanemi?” you ask the crow. 
“Shinazugawa-sama has sent me to assure your safety!” the crow squawks.
You find yourself grinning. You pet the crows head lightly. “Yes, I’ve arrived safely.” you tell him. “I’m going to the Butterfly Mansion to assure my injuries aren’t severe.”
Sorai squawks again, wings flapping to fly and give the news to Sanemi.
You enter the mansion to find it surprisingly quiet.
“Y/N-chan!”
It’s Naho. She’s crying at the sight of you - did you look that bad?
“I’ll go get Aoi! Shinobu-san is busy.”
You follow behind her to the infirmary. You’re glad you can finally lay down and relax.
You enter the room and groan. You fell onto the nearest bed and sighed.
“You must be in such pain.” Aoi murmurs, eyeing the way your ears hold dried blood. 
“Little bit.” you mumble a response. “Just feel a little…tired.” you close your eyes, lids feeling heavy.
“Okay. You can sleep,Y/N-chan. I’ll give you some medicine for your wounds.”
You’re into a deep sleep by the time you hear Aoi’s words. It felt nice to be able to relax for now and not worry about anything.
Sanemi slams the shoji doors open, causing several nurses to yelp in surprise. 
“Shinazugawa!” Aoi growls, eyebrows knitting into a scowl. “How many times-”
“What happened to her?”
Aoi watches with angered eyes as Sanemi stalks towards your sleeping figure.
Sanemi lowers himself to inspect you. There’s a few scratches on your skin and blood (dried) on the sides of your ears.
“She passed out around 10 minutes ago.” Aoi responds. “Now leave, she needs-”
Sanemi sits on the bed beside yours, deciding to ignore Aoi altogether. Aoi scoffs. She turns her head to the other nurses and nods. They continue to scurry off out of the room. 
“I’ll be back with some medicine for her.” Aoi grumbles and makes her way out of the room.
Sanemi allows himself to breathe now. When Sorai had come back to him and stated that you had returned safely but at the Butterfly Mansion, he had to be sure you were safe. 
It was three hours later when you finally stirred awake. You feel groggily and your eyes are heavy. You yawned, pushing yourself up in the bed. 
“You’re awake.”
You yelp at the sudden voice. “Nemi.” 
Sanemi’s arms are crossed over his chest, eyes studying you.
“How long have you been here?”
Sanemi shrugs. “Not too long.” Sanemi responds. He hasn’t left since you were emitted. 
“Ah,” you lean against the metal frame. “I’ve returned from my mission.”
You’re smiling tiredly at him.
“My heart feels so full and heavy. My mind cannot focus on anything.” you explain. “It’s all so overwhelming to return alive and well.”
“Your ears are bleeding. Are you sure you’re well?”
“Yes.” you nod. “The demon was a very loud screamer.” you giggle to yourself. 
Sanemi swallows. He’s unsure how he was going to tell you about Kyojuro. You’ve grown close to the man and learning of his death would cause you great sorrow, and he didn’t like to see you upset or sad. 
“Nemi?”
“Kyojuro…” Sanemi begins. “...went on a mission before you had. He didn’t make it.”
You tilt your head, ears registering his words. 
“Kyojuro…is dead?” you swallow, throat dry.
It feels foolish to cry for someone knowing that this life was never guaranteed. You’ve grown close to him, sometimes speaking with him whenever you were free. 
“Nemi…” you trail off, feeling your eyes become wet. You feel for Kyojuro and his family and it even feels selfish of you to be scared for Sanemi’s life now. Kyojuro was a Hashira just like Sanemi and if he was ultimately brought to death…
Your legs ache, but you do not hesitate to jump from your bed to where Sanemi sat. You wrapped him in a tight embrace, wet eyes crushing into his neck.
Sanemi’s shocked by your actions. He didn’t know Kyojuro’s death would impact you this much.
You sniffled in his neck. “I don’t want you to ever be in harm's way.” you murmur. Sanemi, Genya, Shinra…you didn’t want to see death for anyone apart from the Corps. 
Sanemi gulps. He places an arm around you to bring you closer. He doesn’t usually touch you - sober, that was - but you were always clingy. He wants to comfort you, to tell you that everything would be alright. He wants to tell you that he wasn’t going to die - but he doesn’t wish to disappoint you with false promises he couldn’t guarantee. 
Sanemi doesn’t speak as he holds onto you, but he’s positive that he too does not wish you to ever be in harm's way - he’s unsure if he would be able to live with himself if you or Genya didn’t come back from a mission alive.
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The next few months consist of you and Sanemi attending missions alongside one another, sometimes with other slayers. You want to question why you haven’t been on a solo mission, but you don’t. You assume after Kyojuro’s death, that the Corps would rather keep lower ranks with higher ones, but you cannot be 100% sure. 
However, you wouldn’t complain about being sent out with Sanemi. He was more of a guide, making sure nothing got too hectic for you - and it never did. He allowed you to behead any demons that you saw and the mission was complete. Then the two of you would return back to the estate until the next mission.
Weekly, you would have lunch that you’d cook with Sanemi, Genya, Shinra and Muichiro (whenever they weren’t sent on missions). Sanemi managed to bite his tongue and instead would grumble to himself, but it was progress. You enjoyed cooking for them and saw the three younger boys as little brothers.
Sanemi drew the line when you invited more - Tanjiro was such a lovely boy that you couldn’t help but want to feed him. With Tanjiro came Zenitsu and Inosuke - a brawl ensued when Inosuke insulted Sanemi and Genya retorted, both teenagers throwing insults and punches. But you enjoyed the lunch, nonetheless.
“We have another mission.” Sanemi says during breakfast. “Hiyori delivered it while you were bathing.”
“Ah, is that so?” you bring the sweet potato in your mouth and bite. 
Sanemi nods. “A Hashira is to be present. Me.” he says. “More slayers are attending, as well. We were told to pack a bag - it might take longer than we expect.”
You nod and when the two of you are done with breakfast, you go to pack your bag. It can be classified as an undercover mission, so casual wear is expected. 
It’s not long that you, Sanemi and a group of slayers are making your journey to Shinjuku, expected to arrive right in the evening. Sanemi wasn’t one to make stops, so you managed to pack a few snacks for the long way.
Once you arrive to Shinjuku you’re relieved. The sun was barely shining and you just wanted to find whatever demon was here and kill it. Seeing as the lot of you were expected to be undercover, you’re sure it wouldn’t work out that way.
“You,” Sanemi points to a group of 5 slayers. “find an inn and see what you can gather about our mission.”
The five slayers bow and head on their way. Sanemi’s turns his eyes to another four. “You do the same in the opposite direction.”
There's only you, him and two slayers left - one girl named Sumire and a boy by the name of Roshi. “There’s an inn on the outskirts of Shinjuku. We’ll head there, find a room and change. The sun will fall soon and we’ll have to investigate whatever demon lurks here.”
The inn wasn’t far and a ten minute walk has you four arriving there. It appears to be the nicest Inn in the city for it to be such a long distance from it. 
“Welcome in!” a woman behind the counter eyes the four of you, her eyes recognizing the uniform displayed. “Two rooms?”
“Four.” Sanemi corrects.
“Ah…” the woman leans forward, eyes staring at Sanemi’s chest, a grin formed onto her lips. “I apologize, sir, but we only do couples in Shinjuku.”
Sanemi scoffs. “What type of shit is that?” he hisses. He’s never heard of an entire city only catering to couples.
“We’re known as a honeymoon retreat here.” the lady shrugs. “I do apologize for any inconvenience.”
“It’s fine.” you sigh. “I can room with Sumire-”
“Please don’t.” Roshi whimpers, shaking his head. He wanted to be nowhere near Sanemi - especially not when his annoyance was rising. “I’ll take the floor so Sumire can have the bed - really!”
“Then it’s settled. Two rooms for two couples.” the lady turns to grasp a set of keys in both manicured hands and she dangles them out for you all to grasp.
Sanemi snatches the key and scurries down the hall while Sumire takes the other.
“We’ll get settled, changed and make our way out for the night.” you tell Sumire and Roshi.
“Yes.” Sumire and Roshi reply in unison.
Sanemi slams the door shut as the two of you enter, dropping his bag onto the large bed. 
“The sun will be setting soon.” you note aloud. “Do we have a set plan?”
“There’s obviously something going on here.” Sanemi says. He removes a yukata from his belongings. “Shinjuku was not known to be a couples retreat - not until now.”
“Do you think whatever demons here are targeting couples?” you tilt your head to think. Eating two people would be smarter than one, but still, a demon was stronger than a regular civilian. “It seems to be a lot of effort on the demon's part.”
Sanemi shrugs. Whatever the demon was doing, he’d be sure to put an end to it. 
Sanemi and you roamed Shinjuku. It appeared bright even when the sun was down. You noticed that it indeed was a couples affair - you noticed no one walking alone. What also caught your attention was the lack of children present - or those who were older.
“You two look new here.”
Sanemi’s eyes flicker to the voice.
“We are.” you smile at them, inching closer to Sanemi.
“Oh! How long have you two been married?” the woman asks and now you’re unsure what to say. 
“Honeymoon.” Sanemi responds. “Was recommended by a friend.”
The woman nods her head. “It’s amazing here! We’ve been here twice already. Have you two been to…”
You await for her to continue, but her eyes look as if waiting for you to catch on.
“...Uh…?” you turn to Sanemi who doesn’t even look interested.
“The couples…brothel?”  the woman flushes bright red as she speaks, her husband laughing nervously.
“Couples brothel?”
Sanemi was intrigued now.
“Yes. You have to be approved first - we haven’t.”
“What do you do there?” you ask, unsure of what in the world this mission was going to put you through.
“If approved, you get to be doted on…” the woman is far too embarrassed to continue but you’re sure you get where she’s going.
“Ah.” you nod your head. “I never knew that was something.”
“Yes. It happens every day at a different inn.” the husband says.
“Today should be…”
Sanemi sighs. He has a guess of what inn it would be happening at.
“We have to go.” Sanemi says, stomping off. 
“Sorai.” Your eyes look into the sky at the flying bird. “Inform the other slayers of the demon. Tell them to patrol the streets and make sure no civilians are harmed.”
“Where are we-”
“Back to the Inn.” Sanemi answers your question before you can respond. “That woman insisted on couples because that’s how the demon feeds without getting caught.”
“She chooses her victims strategically.” you murmur. “Not everyone gets accepted.”
“She must know we’re slayers - or at least senses that there’s something off about us.” Sanemi picks up the pace. “Only way to find out…”
Sanemi wraps you in a tight embrace as you both enter the inn. It catches you by surprise - his sudden closeness.
“Hello!” a lady claps her hands at your arrival. “Are you guests here already?” it’s not the same woman as yesterday, you note. 
Sanemi nods his head, arms wrapped tightly around you. “Yes. We’re hoping we can join.”
The woman is nodding, quite aware of what Sanemi is asking of her. “You’re in luck. Our mistress had not yet chosen a couple.” she eyes the way you and Sanemi appear. “I’m positive we found a good choice in the two of you.”
Sanemi swallows. He’s unsure how, but she knows there’s something off about the two of you - you aren’t an ordinary couple. She’s no demon, he would know if she was. 
“Follow me,” the woman motions with her hand for the two of you to come.
You walk, as does Sanemi. He won’t admit it, but having your body against his makes him feel at ease; just knowing you’re close and away from harm.
The hallway is long and seemingly away from the other rooms of the inn. The lights grow dim the closer the three of you step. You were sure it had to do with the demon.
“Go right into the room. The mistress will be in shortly. There are refreshments inside, as well.” The woman slides open the doors and bows as you enter. “Do have some fun while you wait.” She shuts them and you hear her footsteps pat down the hall until they’re inaudible.
“Room’s nice.” your eyes scan around the room, appearing quite large in size and lights just as dim as the hallway.
Sanemi grunts but doesn’t say a response. He sits upon the mat, eyes scanning for any sign of the demon.
You take a seat besides him and inhale. The room was humid.
“Have your sword ready.” Sanemi murmurs. You’re seated besides him, far too close. His noses appear to be heightened, your aroma nearly intoxicating him. He swallows thickly.
“It’s fucking hot.” Sanemi hisses. “Where’s that bitch?”
You were beginning to feel the same way. Your kimono wasn’t tight, but it felt as if it was sticking to you. The air felt so heavy, humid and…you shiver, goosebumps erupting onto your skin.
“I feel weird.” you tell Sanemi after a long moment. 
Sanemi’s eyes turn to you besides him. He notes there’s sweat lining your forehead and you’re panting lightly. Your legs are shuffling together, hands clenching in your lap. He notes that in the midst of your anxious state, you loosened your kimono and beneath it shows your uniform - the same uniform you wore when he gifted you his haori. He’d scream and berate the perverted kakushi for a new uniform just for you to wear both, stating that you didn’t want to be a bother. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the way you looked in it, not at all. He enjoyed it too much, often finding his eyes and mind wandering to places they shouldn’t. 
“You should drink something.” Sanemi tears his eyes away from you to eye the refreshments besides them. There isn’t any water, just wine, but it’ll have to do. “Just enough so you won’t feel parched.”
You nod your head. You wouldn’t be off your game after a sip of wine. You reach for the wine besides Sanemi, a low apology when your arm touches his. It sends a jolt throughout him, this time reaching lower than his heart. 
Sanemi’s eyes are shameless now. He doesn’t hide the fact that he’s watching you. Your hands are shaking as you take the bottle of wine in your hands. You unscrew it and begin to pour. “W-Would you like some?”
Sanemi blinks at the sound of your voice, but he nods. He takes the small, silver goblet from your trembling hands and nods his thanks. He drinks the wine in one swift movement, downing it while his eyes watch yours. He was sure he could have another, and another as long as you served him. 
You aren’t as fast as Sanemi. You smell the wine first before going in to take a sip. It’s good - expensive too. You find yourself drinking the wine keen, enjoying the refreshing taste it gives.
Sanemi’s eyes watch as the wine, a crimson red color, drips from the corner of your mouth and down your jaw, to your chin and drips onto your collarbone. It teases him, he thinks, as it slowly drips onto your exposed breasts.
Sanemi licks his lips and groans. He yanks the wine bottle and pours himself another and downs it. He goes to pour himself another one, but he feels a hand on his wrist.
“You’re going to drink it all.” you say, voice laced with mischief. 
Sanemi inhales. The room was growing hotter.
Sanemi pours the wine, but this time he doesn’t drink it. He lifts it to your own lips, tapping them so you’d open them. You do, gently drinking the wine from his hands. You couldn’t contain the laughter coming from your throat as you do so, the wine splashing onto your kimono.
Sanemi feels hot all over again, his uniform beneath his yukata growing tighter. 
“Nemi?”
Sanemi gulps. “Hm?”
“Do you think I’m hot?”
Sanemi coughs at your question, flushing. 
Why was the room growing hotter?
Why does his clothes feel like they’re sticking to him?
Sanemi was growing confused by the second - why were the two of you even in this room?
“Why do you ask?” Sanemi drops the goblet.
“Because you never say it.” Were you intoxicated now? You didn’t appear to be, your words weren’t slurring and your vision didn’t appear hazy. “Are you attracted to me?” Sanemi feels you come closer. He’s stiff - you had to be drunk. You’re pushing off your kimono, now just only in the revealing corp uniform. He gasps when you climb into his lap, both legs trapping him beneath you.
“You look scared.” You were teasing him. You sit directly onto him, the bulge of his cock twitching when he feels the heartbeat that’s your pussy. “You’re supposed to be the fearless Wind Hashira.”
Sanemi places his hands against your exposed thighs and groans at the smoothness of your skin. He’d often wake from dreams of you and him being in this very position - he’d either have to shower with the coldest water or pump himself until he was cumming. The last option was the most embarrassing. 
“Are you afraid of me?” you’re teasing him again, repeating the same words he said to you in Asakusa. Though he wasn’t pressing himself against you like this, he wouldn’t complain either.
Sanemi groans once more at the feeling of you slightly grinding against him. 
Yes, Sanemi was afraid of you. You made him feel different - the jolting in his heart that dives all the way down to his cock. He often finds himself staring at you, so long that his eyes grow dry and he has to blink just to regain moisture. He often has to hear Uzui’s and Shinobu’s teasing of his feelings for you, no matter how much he attempts to deny it himself.
“No.” Sanemi murmurs, even if it was a lie. 
“Then kiss me.” you lean forward, inches away from Sanemi’s lips. He gulps, licking his lips. Your lavender aroma fills his nostrils and he finds all the sanity he had left gone. 
Sanemi presses his lips against yours, his fingernails digging into the skin of your thigh. He doesn’t want to let you go - whatever this was he doesn’t want it to end. All that clouds his thoughts now were you - your scent, your touch, the sound of you. It intoxicates him that whatever the two of you were initially supposed to be doing in this room has since been forgotten. 
You feel your throat tighten and you’re being lifted. Your eyes shoot open and you’re gasping for air, eyes watching someone - you? It wasn’t you.
The demon had taken the form of you now, leaning against a panting Sanemi. He’s in a trance, you note, not noticing that he was now in the hands of the demon. Her eyes look up at you once for a second and now, your blood is running cold. ‘Lower Rank Six’ engraved into her eyes. 
You struggle to get yourself loose. It’s obvious that the demon has Sanemi in a trance and you were the one that needed to behead the bitch.
“Thank you for bringing me a Hashira.” the demon cackles. “I can show my lord that I am capable of killing a Hashira and then I’ll work my way up. He has given me a second chance just for this moment!”
You struggle against a hooked tail, but manage to get one arm loose to unsheathe your sword. You swipe at it, slashing it so you can release yourself. “Get away from him!”
The demon’s eyes widen but she then laughs. “I’m sorry I have to consume your lover.” she taunts. “Virgins don’t know what to do with a man.” the demon taunts. The air appears to be foggy and once again you feel hot with desire. 
“You’re nothing but a demon that’s going to die here.” you spit at her.
The demon shrieks at your words. “Such a disgusting human! You don’t deserve to be in my presence!”
You swipe your sword to dodge her attack. You needed to get this over with now before you wasted any more time. Your mind was fogging with whatever she’s done, an obvious demon blood art. 
“You’re nothing but a weak lower moon.” you spat back at her with the same venom. 
The demon hisses and sends an array of attacks with her hooked tail. “Wind Breathing: Third Form:” you proceed to release a whirlwind of slashes around you to defend yourself from her attack.”Clean Storm Wind Tree!”  Your eyes focus on her neck - you had to finish her off now. You raise your sword and slash it across her neck, a clean swipe that cuts the demon’s head right off. 
The demon screams at her sudden defeat, but another gush of fog surrounds the entirety of the room just as her head and body harshly crash onto the ground. 
You drop your sword beside you, making your way to Sanemi. His eyes are closed and he appears to be asleep.
“Nemi?” you call, falling to your knees. You place a hand upon his cheek and flinch when his eyes dart open. “Nemi…”
Your words trailed off and neither of you talked, only stared at the other. The room was boiling now, sweat pooling off of your body. You were sure you’d hear a pin drop with how silent the room remained.
“We should…go…” you managed to speak, but it was difficult. Your throat is dry and your ears are beginning to ring. Your clothing is uncomfortable and tight, sticking to your skin like glue. “Nemi…I-I don’t feel good.” you admit to him after another few moments of tortured silence. Your legs are beginning to clench together, the friction feeling good, an electric shock between your legs. 
You knew this feeling, you were no prude. You were sexually frustrated. There was no doubt a wet spot between your legs and the friction of your thighs clenching together brought a temporary satisfaction. You would admit that you touched yourself often when you needed to just to let loose and unwind, but that frustration wasn’t anywhere near how you felt now. 
You scoff bitterly to yourself. To think you endured hellish training to become a slayer just for sexual frustration to be your downfall.
“Let’s go.” Sanemi nods, head heavy. “We need to get our stuff from the room.”
Standing is difficult for Sanemi. His clothing is tight and there’s an obvious bulge in his uniform pants. He allows you to lead the way, his sane mind screaming to not stare at the way your ass moves, but he doesn’t care. He was a man, after all, a man drugged by a demon. He wants to laugh at the circumstances.
The woman is nowhere to be found when you pass the front end of the inn. You assumed she was nothing but a pawn for the demon and was left alive as long as she offered her humans to consume.
Entering the bedroom, you close the shoji doors behind you and Sanemi.
“I hope everyone else is alright.” you murmur to yourself, leaning against the door. “We should probably be heading out-” You stop speaking once you realize Sanemi’s hands are clenching his hair tightly. His chest is rising and falling and he appears to be in pain.
“Nemi-” you reach out to touch him, but Sanmi harshly pushes you away. Your eyes widen at the sudden action. “I-I…are you in pain? I-”
“Leave, Y/N.” Sanemi’s gruff voice startles you. “Go to Kocho and take the slayers with you.”
“I can’t leave you here.” you say. You’re ashamed that his voice turns you on. You hold the edge of your uniform skirt. “You’re in pain-”
“You know I’m not in pain!” Sanemi hisses. His tone would have anyone else cowering, but here you stood with wide (heart) eyes and clenching thighs. “You know what you’re doing to me, Y/N.”
You gulp at his words.
“I’m trying my hardest not to fuck you against the wall.” Sanemi stares at your face. “Leave. Now.”
Sanemi turns away from you and you’re shocked by his choice of words. You’re certain the demon art is affecting him just as much as it’s affecting you. 
But…there it was. The sensation pooling between your legs - the heartbeat taunting you. His words made you wet, you note. It was a warning - don’t come closer, don’t keep trying to help; run away before he’d do something that he wouldn’t do normally. It’s a sort of adrenaline rush to be playing with fire.
“I can help you.” you gulp. You decide to step closer to him and wrap your hands onto his bicep. “I want-”
Sanemi’s fast in his action, gripping your jaw to press a firm kiss upon your lips. He’s holding back, you know, not wishing to hurt you. He knows you haven’t done this before and the sane part of him wants to stop - to not take you while he cannot control himself. “You need to leave, Y/N.” Sanemi’s pleading with you now. He didn’t want to have your first time like this. He’s trembling, all ounce of strength fighting animalistic urges. He almost feels nauseous, mind flashing in all the ways he could take you right now - how vulnerable you’d be beneath him and how good you’d look stuffed with his seed.
Sanemi shakes his head aggressively, wanting to get rid of the perverted thoughts of you, but he cannot. It’s humiliating to think that these thoughts were there before, but with the demon art, it’s completely unbearable. 
You were always the stubborn one, never heeding warning. You raise a hand to place it upon his yukuta. You clench it to pull him forward to press your lips upon his once more. Sanemi’s breathing intensifies in the kiss and still, there’s a little part in him that’s holding back the urges to completely demolish you like the demon art (and him, as well) desired. 
“Let me help you, Nemi. It doesn’t matter how long it takes!” you’re pleading with him now, heavily panting when you release his lips for oxygen. You’re also affected by the demon art, even if your own desires were buried deep. “You’d help me so much. I can do the same.” The sound of your begs drive Sanemi wild, his mind refusing to stop sending the illusions of you in different, perverted positions until he acts upon them.
Sanemi’s hands reach out to touch you, bringing you closer to him. You’re against his chest and when his hands sneak out to touch the curves of your body, he knows he won’t be able to stop. 
Stop - Sanemi tells himself.
You'll regret this.
He’d regret this.
He’s taking advantage of your vulnerable state - this isn’t you, this is the demon art.
You want this - another part of his brain denies the sane part of him. There’s an internal dialogue happening right in his mind.
He wanted this. He’d always wanted this.
He wanted to be deep inside of you - so deep that there wasn’t a way you couldn’t not be impregnated.
You’d be his and his alone - you’d give him the family he desired.
“Nemi, please…”
Sanemi doesn’t hold back any longer, fully succumbing to the demon art that’s blinding his best judgment. Your back slams against the futon, sending shocks all over your body, but you aren’t upset at Sanemi’s sudden change in demeanor. His hands are ripping at your uniform, not caring about any damage it causes. He shudders when his hands finally manage to touch you. The countless times he would touch himself to any little amount of skin you showed him - and now you were nearly nude before him.
Sanemi never wanted to thank a demon before in his life.
You’re moaning when Sanemi’s lips kiss along your neck, tongue trailing along as he does so. His hands are groping your breast, the bandages binding them are ripped apart in seconds and they spring free.
Sanemi’s face is between your breasts in seconds, kissing sloppily. You’re so beautiful. He wanted to admire your beauty as much as he could - there was no going back now and who knows what would happen when the demon art wore off. But Sanemi couldn’t slow his pace now, you made him delirious.
Your body jerks when you feel a warm, wet sensation on your nipples. Sanemi’s tongue suckles on your left while his thumb tugs on the right. It causes you to moan louder, the feeling foreign and you never wanted it to end. 
It wasn’t soon until Sanemi had you fully naked before him. He’s in awe, truly, eyes completely blown out. It’s unclear to him how he could still manage to hold back completely being barbaric when it comes to the sight of you, but maybe it’s the respect he held dear to his heart for you.
Sanemi’s lips kiss down your breast, to your stomach down to your abdomen. He pushes your legs apart and swallows when he catches sight just how wet you were.
You squirm under Sanemi’s gaze, unsure what he was doing. You go to close your legs but Sanemi only pushes them apart further.
“N-Nemi!” you gasp once you feel his tongue flat against your clit. It’s a weird feeling of euphoria that has your eyes rolling. “S-stop!” you’re struggling against Sanemi’s tongue, doing everything in your power to get him to stop. “I can’t take anymore, Nemi…”
Sanemi doesn’t care about your babblings. Your taste intoxicates him just like your scent does. Your moans are so sweet, like his favorite tune playing again and again in his ears. His fingernails dig into the skin of your thigh and he’s bobbing his head back and forth over and over again until you’re sobbing.
Sanemi lifts his head from your swollen clit and licks his lips. He’s hovering above your twitching form and even now as you’re overstimulated with pleasure and sobbing, he cannot bring himself to stop. 
“Nemi…”
Sanemi presses three fingers against your clit, rubbing tauntingly. “You can take it.” he encourages. After all, if you cannot handle his tongue and fingers, how’d you ever handle his cock?
Sanemi rubs a few more times before his fingers inch inside of you. His lips are kissing along your face, kissing along at the tears of pleasure. 
You’re tight and it excites Sanemi. Knowing that he would be the one to deflower you - be the first (and preferably only) man you’d been with. It causes goosebumps to litter his skin.
The feeling of Sanemi’s fingers inside of you hurts - you’ve never done so before. He isn’t going slow either to allow you to adjust, he’s pumping with such force that it compels you into pleasure. 
“I feel weird, Nemi…” you’re panting, feeling the bubbling feeling deep in your stomach. “Stop, I-I don’t wanna cum like this.” your hand wraps around his wrist to stop him - even if Sanemi refuses. “I wanna feel you around me when I do.”
Sanemi’s cock twitches at your words, but he wastes no time.
With hooded eyes, you watch as Sanemi undresses. You hadn’t realized just how clothed he was while you laid completely bare. 
Sanemi’s body was beautiful, chiseled muscles sculpting his entire body. You flush at the sight of his completely nude body - cock erect. Your legs twitch with nervousness..
Sanemi hovers above you. There’s a flash in his eyes - you notice. His forehead is pressed against yours and for a moment his eyes are soft, no longer harboring the feral reaction.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” he murmurs to you. It’s the voice that belonged to Sanemi - not the one under the demon art, but the man that you trained alongside for a year.
You didn’t have the chance to respond. Sanemi is entering you now and your hands go to clench his biceps harshly. It doesn’t hurt him, of course, but the pressure for you is nearly unbearable. Your legs wrap around him tight, hoping he wouldn’t move too soon.
You inhale deeply, trembling with the newfound pain. Sanemi is big - but any cock would be for you. You just hoped Sanemi wasn’t far too gone in the demon’s spell and wouldn’t hurt you too much.
Sanemi’s patience was slowly breaking. He found himself grinding into her for any sort of friction or pleasure. There’s only so much a man like him could take, his mind kept replaying the countless ways he could take you right now and he was truly fighting an internal battle. 
Sanemi thrusted out of you fully to thrust back in. You released a surprised wail, eyes shutting tight. Your fingernails would be another scar left upon his skin.
“I can’t take it.” you cry out, walls completely sore by taking his cock in you fully. The pressure was unbearable and by the looks of the man, he appeared utterly insatiable. 
“You can.” Sanemi’s voice is so raspy and deep that you were positive he was far gone. He continues to thrust deep inside of you that your back hits the futon with each thrust. He’s strong - far stronger than you’d ever hope to be - and getting him to stop was going to be difficult.
You felt the hot tears pool down your cheeks. You were being stretched out far too much for you to keep your composure. You were clenching around him so heavenly that he never wanted to stop - never wanted to be out of you; without you.
“Nemi, please…”
Sanemi’s hips buckled and he halts his movements. 
Keep going - the voice in his mind tells him.
But it’s your sadden pleas that has his sanity coming back - just for a moment. He witnesses your tears falling and his heart aches - was he the one making you cry?
Sanemi goes to pull himself out, but you stop him. You wrap your arms around him and bring him closer to you. His chest is against yours while your lips lined up against his ears. You’re panting, attempting to catch your breath and adjust to his size. 
Sanemi’s arms wrap around your body, the intimate moment was one he wished he could remain in forever; never wishing to let you go. 
“Nemi?”
You clench around him and Sanemi hums a response. You loosen your hold onto him, a signal that you wanted him to continue. 
Sanemi grinds inside of you, his hold on you only growing tighter. He’s deep, never wishing to be anywhere else but inside of you. He picks up his pace, noticing how your cries were becoming moans. 
This is what sex felt like. The pain was slowly subsiding and the pleasure was taking over. You can hear the way your pussy sounds against his pumping cock - wet and inviting, satiating his hunger for you. 
Sanemi releases his hold on you to lean back. His eyes are hooded as he watches the way your breast bounces. He picks up the pace, cock sliding in and out of you - rougher, deeper, faster.
So beautiful, Sanemi thinks. So beautiful and his - all his. The dark thoughts were coming back with each passing second and his sanity was losing to the demonic spell. 
You yourself felt whatever sanity you had left was now leaving. You no longer cared if Sanemi was hurting you or not - what you did know was that now you felt good; so good. His cock pumps inside of you at an alarming pace that would even be considered pleasurable if you weren’t receiving it. 
Sanemi’s hands grip your breast so tightly that he's sure they would leave marks. His eyes fixated on the bulge of your stomach, mind racing with the thought of you round and pregnant with his child. He allows one hand to leave your breast to cup your stomach, rubbing lightly as he fucks you.
“I can’t wait to fuck a baby in you.”
Sanemi’s words would cause you to gasp if you weren’t caught in the moment. Your mind was fucked out with how good he’s fucking you that a baby didn’t seem bad - how the two of you forgotten about the world full of demons and the mission you were currently on.
“Get you nice and pregnant. I’ll take care of you.” He’s now hitting your g-spot as he speaks, eyes completely blown out with pleasure. Your knees are touching your shoulders and you’re positive you’ve never been this flexible before. “I’ll take care of all of our kids.”
You’re crying beneath him, pleasure overwhelming. Your sobs don’t go unnoticed, but he doesn’t care. He’ll fuck you until he was done - fuck you until he was sure you were pregnat with the child he was promising you.
“I want them to look just like you. So perfect.” Sanemi moans at the thought of you full of cum, round with his child.
You’re cumming, writhing beneath him. You’re soaking the futon beneath the two of you, but neither of you care. Sanemi was on a mission - a rampage. Nothing was going to stop him from achieving his perverted dreams.
Sanemi cums deep inside of you, twitching as he does so. He’s panting while sweat pools off of his skin and onto yours.
Sanemi wants more.
He flips you over, face burning into the futon. He enters you like an animal, continuing the brutal pace. He’s fucking into you deeper, your screams echoing off the room walls. If anyone was inside the inn, neither of you cared. He almost wished someone was listening so they could hear how good he was fucking you.
You’re drooling. You could no longer focus on anything but the cock inside of you - and even then you wanted more. Was this what heaven felt like? Paradise? To be stuff so good but the man you adored that you never wanted it to end?
How could you go back to pleasuring yourself when Sanemi knew how to do it so wonderfully?
Sanemi filled you again - three more times before he changed the position. He brought you on top of him and fucked into you, not allowing you any control. The stamina of a Hashira was amazing. He fucked you like a ragdoll, but you had no complaints.
His fucking dragged on majority of the night - against the wall, in his arms, on your back, on your side - every position he deemed fuckable, he had you in.He would hiss such dirty worlds in your ears that you’d convulse into a cumming mess for him.
One things for certain - neither of you wanted this night to end.
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Your legs ached, as did the entirety of your body. 
You stirred away, the sun from the open window blinding your eyes.
You push yourself up from the futon, the blanket you were wrapped in falling to expose your naked figure.
You were sore and one look at your appearance has your mind fluttering with memories.
“Nemi…?” you call out to nothing. You were alone in the room the two of you shared the night prior. You scanned the area to find no trace of him - not even his belongings.
Your legs tremble as you stand to your feet. You take nearly 10 minutes to get dressed, but you cannot be blamed. Your body is covered with bruises and marks that hiding it with Sanemi’s gifted haori was difficult, but manageable. 
You make your way out of the room, belongings in hand. You walk past the innkeeper who doesn’t say a word - a different woman from the first two you met the day prior. 
“CAW!”
Hiyori flies above you just as you exit the inn. If you had to guess, it was an hour before noon.
“Y/L Y/N is to report to the Butterfly Mansion for treatment! Y/L Y/N and others to the Butterfly Mansion!”
“Hiyori.” you call the crow, holding out your arm. “Where’s Sanemi?”
“Shinazugawa-sama has left on his own in the morning!”
Left.
Sanemi had left you here?
Alone?
“Y/N!”
It’s Sumire and Roshi, returning back to you appearing slightly disheveled. 
“W-What-”
“Don’t ask.” Sumire’s flushing bright red.
“Please.” Rochi murmurs and you notice none of them can look the other in the eye.
Your mind connects the dots.
You and Sanemi were not the only two subjected to the demon’s spell.
“Did you see Sanemi leave?” you ask the two slayers.
“Yes. Shinazugawa-sama took the others and left. We were told to wait for you.” Sumire exclaims. “Didn’t say much but to wait until you were up to head to the Butterfly Mansion.”
You nod your head. You swallow, heart aching with the realization that Sanemi had left you.
Had Sanemi regretted the night with you? Had he woke up disgusted with your actions that he didn’t even wish to look at you?
No.
Sanemi wasn’t like this. He didn’t run from his issues. He had to go to the Butterfly Mansion with the other slayers. You wouldn’t think too much into it.
But it was hard not to think too much into it, you think. The entire journey to the Butterfly Mansion had left you completely distracted by memories of the previous night and the nervousness of having to face the Wind Hashira once more. 
The Butterfly Mansion was hectic, nurses scurrying around to help while Kakushi lined up to do the same. You almost felt out of place coming here. You didn’t even have any scars from the attack with the demon and it appears Sumire and Roshi were alright, as well, only a bit awkward.
“Are you two alright?” you turn to the two slayers who nod, avoiding contact with the other. “The mission wasn’t as deadly as we expected. The Lower Moon-”
“Lower Moon?!” Roshi and Sumire gasp in unison with wide eyes. “There was a lower moon there?” Sumire questions. 
“We fought off a few demons but they weren’t strong. They might have been only a few years turned.”
You nod your head. “Yes.” you look between the two of them. “Her demon art was…powerful. Are you sure the two of you are alright?”
You see flashes in your mind of you and Sanemi together the entirety of the night.
“Yes.” Roshi’s cheeks are dusty red.
“Yea.” Sumire responds, as well. 
You nod your head and offer the two of them a soft smile. “Okay. Good job on the mission.” you tell them. “Please rest.”
Your eyes watch Sumire and Hoshi scurry away and you release an exhausted sigh. 
“Y/N?”
Your head snaps to the sound of your name. You bow to Shinobu who does the same. 
“Are you alright? I heard your mission was successful by Shinazugawa.”
You nod your head. “Yes. I returned just now.” you wondered what else Sanemi had told her. “It’s hectic here.”
“Indeed it is. Uzui has returned with Tanjiro, Inosuke and Zenitsu. An Upper Moon was defeated.”
Your eyes widen. “An Upper Moon? Are they safe?” you returned seemingly fine after your battle - if you can even call it that, the demon appeared far too weak to be considered a part of the 12 Kizuki. You couldn’t imagine fighting an Upper Moon.
“Recovering. They’re all fallen into coma’s but we’re positive they will recover.”
A sigh of relief comes from your lips. “Uzui-san? Is he here?”
“Was. He left hours before you returned. He has retired as a Hashira.”
You were sure your eyes were going to pop out their socket one of these days. The sudden information was hitting you at each possible angle. 
“I know you’ve grown attached to the younger slayers. Maybe you can come visit them once everything settles down.” Shinobu offers a smile. “Uzui is at his estate with his wives as if he didn’t lose an eye or hand. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”
“Huh?!” your hands clench at - yet again - another sudden information. Uzui was a Hashira, so tall and muscular and extremely skilled. 
“Uzui is fine, truly. Rambling on about appearing even more flashy with an eyepatch.” Shinobu giggles slightly. “How are you, Y/N? Shinazugawa was here earlier but nothing appeared to be wrong with him or the others. I assume the same goes for you?”
You swallow and nod.
“Good.” Shinobu scans your appearance. You had the white haori that once belonged to Sanemi wrapped tightly around your frame. You showed no skin - which wasn’t exactly alarming, but you also never appeared so awkwardly nervous. 
Shinobu’s eyes are beautiful, so large and deep purple. Now, however, they seemed to be looking into your soul, searching for your deepest and darkest secrets.
“I should be going now, Shinobu-san.” you bow. 
“Don’t be a stranger, Y/N.” she offers a curt wave. “I love the new glow you have to you.” that tone in her voice - you feel hot with embarrassment. She was teasing you.
“CAW!”
You haven’t been outside for more than five minutes before Hiyori returns. 
“Oyakata-sama has sent for you!”
“Ah.” you sigh deeply. “I suppose I can see what Oyakata-sama needs.”
You made your journey towards the Ubuyashiki Estate, Hiyori soaring above you. It doesn’t take long and upon entering you note that Oyakata has already been waiting for your appearance.
You bow in front of him. “Oyakata-sama. I have arrived.”
Kagaya offers a curt smile. “Y/L Y/N. It is nice to be in your presence once more.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Oyakata-sama.” 
You lift your head, knees remaining on the ground. 
“Congratulations on returning from your mission safely. You have defeated a Lower Moon.” Kagaya praises.
Your heart feels full to be praised. 
“Thank you, Oyakata-sama. But please, it was nothing. Uzui-san and the others are the true remarkable ones.” You still cannot fathom coming in the presence of such a remarkably strong demon. 
“You also deserve praise, Y/N.” Kagaya says. “You managed to defeat a Lower Moon. There’s many slayers who did not have the same fate.”
You nod to yourself. You suppose he was right.
“You would make an exceptional Wind Hashira if the title was not already occupied.” Kagaya compliments once more. “I am content that you, my child, are a part of the Corps.”
“Thank you, Oyakata-sama.” you say, standing to your feet. 
“Thank you, Y/N.” Kagaya said, but before  you could speak, he continued. “Sanemi has transformed for the better. I assume that it is your doing.”
You swallow at the sound of Sanemi’s name. You had yet to see him  and speak about what has happened during the mission.
“I cannot take responsibility for Shinazugawa-san’s credibility. He was always an amazing Hashira before me!”
Kagaya chuckles to himself lowly. “Indeed he was, my child. But behind every great man, there’s a partner. A woman like yourself.” Kagaya lightly pets the crow that sits beside him. His head remains straight forward, body unmoving. “Give yourself more grace, Y/N. You are free to go as you please. Thank you for speaking with me.”
“Y-Yes.” you inhale a response, bowing before turning away. “Thank you, Oyakata-sama.”
The master's words replay in your head as you make your way to Sanemi’s estate. You deserve praise, he said. You changed Sanemi for the better. Did you, though? Sanemi always appeared amazing to you - at any and everything he did. Sure he had a temper but it was never towards you. Maybe Sanemi had taken the swear the two of you made seriously.
Entering the mansion, you note just how quiet it was inside. Where was Sanemi? You knew he returned earlier in the day.
You decided to not dwell on it and bathe. You hadn’t had the chance to upon waking up, only a light wash up. Witnessing the bruises and bites littering your skin causes you to flush at the memory of you and Sanemi together.
Hours had passed since you bathed and since then you had managed to cook dinner for the two of you - Sanemi’s dish had sat cold. You pondered where he could possibly be - surely Oyakata-sama didn’t send him on another mission.
You began to feel as if Sanemi was purposely avoiding you. As days dragged on, you had yet to see him. You continued your training alone, not witnessing any sight of him. You would eat alone without him, always setting a plate down for him that he would eat whenever he did return while you were gone.
It was only when the second week dragged on did Sanemi return, though barely. You caught a glimpse of him entering the bathroom just as you finished dinner. You waited for him to enter, and when he finally had you were left disappointed. He didn’t spare you a glance, entering his bedroom and not exiting.
Weeksn dragged on and you noticed that you and Sanemi no longer attended missions together. Hiyori would come and deliver your own solo missions and you’d go - not having someone besides you had your heart yearning for company. 
While Sanemi obviously ignored you, you would often visit Uzui and his wives. You’d relax at the onsen with them while not on missions, often eating dinner. Uzui was not a fool to notice the look in your eyes - you were attempting to get your mind off of a certain white haired bastard.
You visited Inosuke and Zenitsu, offering them sweets while they trained and waited for Tanjiro to wake. You remained cooking for Shinra, Genya and Muichiro when the three were free, Sanemi’s place at the table untouched.
There was a shift that everyone noticed. Sanemi’s attitude was going back to what it once was - abrasive and rash. The slayers had to tiptoe around him once more, not having you around as their savior. 
The Hashira has since taken note that there was something wrong with you and Sanemi. Shinobu had seen more of the Wind hashira at the Butterfly Estate to heal petty wounds that he'd usually got to you for - when she asked why he was there, he had snapped at her and stated that it was “her job” to do so.
Obanai and Sanemi train together often, now more than ever. He would visit the Serpent estate to train just so he didn’t have to be home - Iguro never questioned him.
Muichiro is air headed and often stuck in his own mind when he wasn’t out on missions. But he recognizes a shift in your behavior. Your eyes are sadder than he remembers them and all he can think to do is do the things he liked to do - with you. He’d watch the clouds with you, not speaking unless you did. He would make origami with you, claiming that yours were trash - it caused you to laugh at his insensitive truth - and would end up gifting you one of his origami pieces.
Mitsuri’s would often feed you, claiming that whenever she was down, she desired to eat delicious foods. She didn’t want to ask anything of you and Sanemi’s relationship, but she just hoped that whatever did happen that it would end soon. 
You were grateful for everyone's attempts in changing your mood and it would be selfish to say that it didn’t work. However, as the second month kicks, you realize just how foolish you feel. Your head has been far too into Sanemi and why he was ignoring you (and your own separate missions) that you ignored your own overall health. 
“Y/N.”
Shinobu tilts her head at you, curiosity in her eyes. Her face turns to a look of concern.
“Pregnant.” you repeat her words.
 Could you even be surprised? You were in the second month since the mission in Shinjuku. The last thing on your mind upon returning was a contraceptive and even when you woke up feeling less than yourself, you still couldn’t accept that you were with child.
“You must think I’m so stupid.” you laugh humorlessly at Shinobu, insect-like eyes watching your every move.
“Of course not!” Shinobu denies. “Why would you think such a thing?”
You inhale deeply. You thought as much because it was what you were feeling. Stupid - pregnant by Sanemi and it appeared now that he wanted nothing to do with you. Stupid for getting pregnant when your occupation was killing demons.
“Y/N. Are things with you and Shinazugawa…good?” Shinobu doesn’t want to pry, but now you were with child and appeared disgusted, concerned and frightened all at once.
You swallow, throat tightening. “Yes.” you murmur, an obvious lie. Everyone has noticed the shift in the relationship between the two of you and now Shinobu has an idea as to why.
“I assume Shinazugawa doesn’t know.” Shinobu states. “Y/N…there’s ways we can go about this now. If you aren’t ready I can assure you it will be painless.”
You blink at Shinobu’s words. You haven’t thought about a moment like this happening - not even the moment between you and Sanemi. When you arrived from the mission, you desired to see him and talk about whatever relationship the two of you had. But Sanemi turned cold, ignoring your presence all together and waving you off whenever you attempted to.
“If you do wish to keep the child, I will inform Oyakata-sama of the predicament and get you off from your missions. Since you’re early in the pregnancy, I’m sure you won’t have to-”
“I want to terminate.” you interrupt Shinobu. The Insect Hashira tries not to appear shocked by your words. She would never judge you for whatever decision you chose. 
You watch Shinobu nod her head. You couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world now - not while you were a part of the Corps. It also wouldn’t be fair to Sanemi. You lived in his house, after all. He had made his decision when it came to whatever relationship you had and you were now making yours.
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It’s nightfall when you return back to Sanemi’s estate and you’re surprised to see him at the table eating and Sanemi appears to be just as surprised to see you. Upon returning home from his rounds, he assumed you were in bed for the night - but he was proven wrong when you strolled through the shoji doors.
Lilac eyes meet yours and Sanemi notes that there’s something wrong with you. He remains silent, as do you. His heart continues to jolt in your presence, hands yearning to touch your soft skin again. 
“Shinazugawa.” you murmur your acknowledgment to him. 
Shinazugawa.
You never called him that, Sanemi things. But he doesn’t have the right to feel away about it.
“Thank you for allowing me to stay here.” you begin. Sanemi drops his chopsticks, attention fully on you. “I’m grateful to have been trained by you.”
Where were you going with this?
“I’ll be taking my leave.”
You turn away from him, Sanemi watching your figure saunter down the hall. He hears your shoji doors open but not close. There’s shuffling in your room and now he decides to get up to see what you were doing.
“Where are you going?” Sanemi’s heart is pounding now at the sight of you holding a bag with your belongings. It’s the first time he spoke to you directly.
“I’ve…decided to leave.”
Sanemi glances away. “Where are you going?”
You shift in your stance. “I’ve spoken to Oyakata-sama. I have a few missions lined up before I leave the Corps.”
Sanemi’s head snaps to you. He’s checking your face for any sign of deceit. He doesn’t find any - instead your eyes are lined with moisture. Your throat is bobbing as if attempting to not cry at the words you’re speaking.
“I’m sorry that I’ve become a burden.”
Reach out to her - Sanemi things.
Hold her.
Tell her she was never a burden.
Sanemi remains silent.
You stroll past him, your familiar scent passing him.
“You don’t have to leave.” Sanemi calls just as you’re a foot out the door. 
You don’t want to leave.
Sanemi doesn’t want you to leave.
Apologize to her.
Tell her how you feel.
Tell her you love her.
Sanemi’s mind races with his own thoughts that he doesn’t realize you’re already leaving.
“Y/N-”  Sanemi follows behind you, pace picking up to reach you. “Where are you going now? After you leave the Corps?”
You feel Sanemi’s hand around your wrist to stop you from walking. 
“Back home.” you respond, unable to look at him. You made your decision to leave and going against that wouldn’t be the correct decision for you.
Sanemi gulps. He releases his hand from your wrist.
“I hope you don’t feel as if it was a waste of time training me. I wasn’t a part of the Corps for long.” 
You were never a waste of his time, Sanemi wants to say, but his mind is racing and his heart is longing for you. 
Why were you going back home to your father? The same man that sold you to someone - that abused you for years on end?
“Thank you, Sanemi. For everything. I must be going.”
Tell her to stay.
Tell her she doesn’t have to leave here - leave you.
Tell her you love her- that you pushed her away because you were disgusted with yourself.
Tell her how horrible you felt that you took advantage of her innocence.
Sanemi doesn’t say anything and instead watches until your figure disappears. For the first time in years, he feels like he could shed tears at the loss of someone he loved.
Final Part
855 notes · View notes
xxsabitoxx · 10 months
Text
How the Pillars react to your death
Important note: all of these deaths occur during the infinity castle arc, heavy and implied spoilers. Rengoku’s reaction to your death takes place before Mugen Train! Reader’s gender is unspecified.
Warnings: this post contains spoilers for the final arc of the manga. This includes implied spoilers for various characters. Please do not read this if you don’t want to be spoiled and don’t blame me if you go ahead and read it anyways lol
A/N: I wrote this whole post in my head while showering last night and I’m honestly offended it took me 3x as long to actually write it.
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Giyu 
“CAWWW! DEAD! KOCHO SHINOBU AND L/N Y/N ARE DEAD! THEY DIED AFTER A CONFRONTATION WITH UPPER MOON TWO!” Giyu’s body comes to a screeching halt, Tanjiro shooting past him before falling to his knees as violent sobs wracked his body. Giyu, on the other hand, is frozen in place, a sob stuck in his throat. Shinobu’s death was a punch to the gut, but you? For the first time since Sabito had died, Giyu felt tears burning at the back of his eyes. Yet, nothing would come out, those tears wouldn’t break the barrier and slip down his cheeks. His tight throat would not let the sob escape. There was no possible way you were gone, you promised him you’d be okay. Though, childish beliefs like that reminded him of his own faults. Once again, he couldn’t protect the people he cared about. Rather than wallowing in sudden grief, he began moving again, past Tanjiro who was struggling to get back up. He needed to keep moving, if he didn’t stop, he was certain he would collapse entirely and never get up again. He couldn’t let your sacrifice go to waste. 
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Shinobu 
Her feet barely hit the ground, body manoeuvring through the endless castle with one destination in mind. “CAWWW! DEAD! L/N Y/N IS DEAD! THEY DIED AFTER ENCOUNTERING UPPER MOON TWO!” She stumbles, shock hitting her like a bucket of ice water being dumped over her head. Her mind is racing, not willing to believe what the crow had just said to be true. You had steered away from the plan. In a desperate attempt to save Shinobu’s life you tried to defeat Upper Two yourself. Hot, angry tears are spilling down her cheeks, hand clutching her heart as she tries to understand. “Why would you do this? Why wouldn’t you take my word for it and go with Tomioka? Look what you did… you went and got yourself killed,” Yet again, Upper Two had taken something precious to her. One word flashed through her mind, alongside your beautiful face. Revenge. She would get her revenge, not only for Kanae, but for you. “Don’t worry, my love. I’ll be with you soon.” 
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Rengoku 
It’s quiet, too quiet even. You should be back by now, the sun has fully risen. Kyojuro’s heart is hammering in his chest, doom creeping up his spine. He has an unshakable bad feeling about your late arrival. His worst fears are confirmed when your crow arrives without you. “No…” breathless, as if all the air is being ripped from his lungs. “Don’t say it…” his knees are giving out as your crow lands on the wooden porch. “T-they’re gone…aren’t they?” he chokes it out, the words are as bitter and burning as bile. Your crow only caws, soft and full of sorrow, unable to share the proper message as Kyojuro begins to sob. He’s curling in on himself, crying so loudly but unable to hear it due to the intensity of the ringing in his ears. It’s a panic attack manifesting in the most intense form. He can’t fathom a world without you, nevermind having to live in one. Senjuro is rushing to his brother's aid, seeing your crow gives him more than enough information to know as tears well in his eyes. 
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Tengen
He’s kneeling dutifully outside of Nezuko’s room, Shinjuro by his side. His wives are inside, too stubborn to sit out and not help at all. Their excuse being that Nezuko saved his life, they owe her the same kind of protection now. You on the other hand, were too determined, leaving your retirement to fight the battle against the demon lord himself. Nothing Tengen nor his wives said could convince you to stay on the sidelines. His heart is sinking the moment your crow appears in the distance, he’d recognize it anywhere. “N-no… don’t you dare…” Tengen’s voice is cracking as it lands, Shinjuro is turning his head the other way, knowing what is to come. “Don’t you dare say they are dead…” his voice is rising in his panic, he knows the answer. The commotion has Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru running outside. The moment Hina’s eyes land on your crow, a violent sob escapes her chest, falling to her knees as Makio and Suma come to the same conclusion. “T-they’re dead…aren’t they?!” Makio sobs, Tengen can’t raise his head as your crow delivers your final message. 
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Mitsuri 
She’s frozen in place as a crow comes directly for her, fear is ebbing through her body, a cold sweat forming on her brow. She knows the message before the crow can even utter it. “No! Go back! I don’t want to hear it!” Obanai is frozen beside her, grabbing her arm so she doesn’t collapse. The crow circles around her, cawing woefully as she begins to cry. “I-I don’t want to know! Don’t tell me!” she’s hiccupping as Obanai tries to pull her forward, they need to keep moving. “Mitsuri…” his voice is surprisingly soft, the crow is still circling overhead. “We need to hear the message…” she shakes her head, hands coming up to cover her ears as tears slip down her cheeks. The crow caws again, Obanai signals for it to deliver the message. “CAWWW! L/N Y/N IS DEAD! THEY DIED AFTER AN ALTERCATION WITH UPPER MOON ONE!” The crow continued on about who lived and who died, what was important is that upper moon one was dead. That didn’t matter to her though, no she couldn’t even hear the rest of the message over the ringing in her years. Mitsuri let Obanai tug her along, they needed to keep moving at whatever the cost. 
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Muichiro 
“CAWWW! L/N Y/N IS DEAD!” He keeps running, uncertain as to why he feels a tightness in his chest at the crow’s message. “THEY DIED DURING A CONFLICT WITH UPPER TWO!” He’s still moving, more so concerned over his unexpected and overwhelming sadness. Why am I sad? I don’t even remember that name… but then your kind smile is flashing before his eyes and the world is crashing down around him. He comes to a screeching halt, eyes wide as he finally pieces together the message. “y/n…” how could he ever forget? Before he realizes it, he’s sniffling. Tears blur his vision for a moment before he blinks them away. He begins to move again, the sadness gripping his chest is slowly fading, fading until he can’t even remember why he got teary eyed in the first place. He needs to remember the task at hand… where was he heading again? 
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Obanai
The flapping of wings catches him off guard, head craning upwards as the crow begins to caw. The noise is full of sorrow, which can only mean it bears bad news. “Obanai…” Mitsuri is watching the animal circle above them, her heart pounding erratically at the endless possibilities of the message it may share. “CAWWW! L/N Y/N IS DEAD! THEY DIED IN BATTLE AGAINST UPPER MOON ONE!” Obanai’s feet are slowing, hitting the floor beneath him with a little too much force as the message rings through his head over and over. “N-no… oh… Iguro I…” Mitsuri is crying, staring at the man beside her as the world seems to cave in on him. It’s as if everything is in slow motion for a few beats in time. The words the crow uttered felt foreign, your name paired with ‘dead’ didn’t make any sense in his mind. It was impossible really, there was no way you were dead. You had gone to face Upper One with Gyomei, Sanemi, Muichiro… four hashira against upper One and you didn’t make it? You were so strong… no the message can’t be correct. “Kanroji… let’s keep moving.” he’s turning it off, every swelling emotion is being suppressed as he takes off again. Mitsuri is left with no choice but to wipe her tears and follow. 
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Sanemi
Upper Moon One is standing before him, Gyomei at his side. This battle needed to be won, if not, everything would be lost. The demon before him needed to be put down, there was no other option. He’s talking, but he couldn’t be bothered to listen. Rather, Sanemi is gauging every vital point he can strike and how to go about doing it. “CAWW! I BRING A MESSAGE!” he doesn’t glace up, nothing that crow could say would be able to break his focus. “L/N Y/N IS DEAD!” except for that. Sanemi inhales deeply, eyes widening significantly as he debates on if he heard the message correctly. “THEY DIED DURING AN ALTERCATION WITH UPPER MOON TWO! UPPER MOON TWO IS NOW DEAD!” it feels as if all the air in the room had been sucked away with the crow’s flapping wings. Upper One no longer seemed smug about the message after the addition of Upper Two being defeated. Beside him, Gyomei is crying. Sanemi doesn’t realize it, but so is he. He’s oblivious to the hot, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. Still, his patience remains intact, waiting for Gyomei’s signal to attack the high ranked demon. Now, he has absolutely nothing to lose. Kagaya is gone, now you are gone, it is likely the rest of the Hashira wouldn’t make it out of this… he has nothing left to fight for. 
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Gyomei “CAWWW! L/N Y/N IS DEAD! THEY DIED AFTER ENCOUNTERING MUZAN!” Tears flow freely as he fights, part of him wishes he hadn’t been able to hear the message in the first place. You had met the unfortunate fate of encountering Muzan himself. It was likely that you were alone, if you weren’t, you were likely the strongest in your group. It pained him, knowing you likely died a brutal death. That pain fueled his attacks, taking every ounce of heartbreak and despair out on the demon before him. You didn’t deserve that, nobody deserved a fate that cruel. He keeps moving, mind reeling yet completely focused. It’s as if he is fighting in a bubble, the world muffled around him yet perfectly clear all at once. Too many emotions are raging through his soul to really pinpoint just one of them. He can only hope you’ll wait for him on the other side, he can only pray you’re watching over him at this very moment. Guiding him, giving him strength. “I’ll meet you again soon, don’t worry. I promise I won’t keep you waiting much longer. Wait for me, please? You will, won’t you?”
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rebxxy · 2 months
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Sanemi’s only ever cried three times…
The first was when he was shit faced drunk. His face was buried deep into your chest, as your fingers combed through his hair. A comforting silence filled the room, until you heard him sniffing and his tears began leaking into the fabric of your shirt.
“'Nemi? What’s wrong?” You gently cup both of his cheeks in your hands, lifting his head up from your chest.
“It’s just…I love you so fucking much, and I know I’m like, really drunk right now— but I promise that I’m gonna buy you a ring with the BIGGEST diamond on it!”
And exactly two years later he did— which is conveniently the second time he cried. He might put on this big and ballsy attitude around everyone else, but when he’s with you, he’s the epitome of sweetness. And the second he saw the tears fill your beautiful eyes, he just couldn’t stop himself.
The last time he ever cried was when he first held his newborn baby girl. Her delicate little frame cradled in his strong, broad arms. Even if her vision hadn’t fully been developed, it didn’t stop her from recognizing her father.
Every time he sang her a lullaby, or even if all he did was hum— she’d give the brightest smile, knowing that she was safe in her father’s embrace…
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𝟐����𝟐𝟒 © 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐱𝐱𝐲. 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐘, 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄, 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌.
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sqquidzz · 8 months
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How would kny characters hurt you in an argument?
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Includes: Tanjiro Kamado, Kyojuro Rengoku, Giyuu Tomioka, Sanemi Shinazugawa
A/N: Hello readers! This is an idea I got from a hc post on here, I'm not sure who made it but I give credit to them for this hc idea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
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KAMADO TANJIRO:
I feel like most arguments would start becaude of Tanjiro's protectiveness of his friends
He would probably start scolding you for doing something he thought was reckless while fighting a demon
Especially if Nezuko we're to be the one to save you and get injured, he would probably be pissed off
Tanjiro is the type of person to bottle his emotions up, so he really just snapped at you
He seems like the person who yells and cries during an argument
He would bring up the fact that you had jumped into danger without thinking, calling you selfish for thinking only about the battle and not of your friends
If someone had gotten injured protecting you, like Nezuko, she wouldn't be able to say anything since she was healing and unable to stick up for you
You would just be too shocked to even say anything to defend yourself, along with everyone else, since no one has seen Tanjiro like this before
Once he finishes, he simply excuses himself quietly, saying that he's tired from dealing with this
Bonus!
Zenitsu would immediately rush to your side to comfort you as tears spilled down your cheeks
This would be especially hard if you had past problems with arguments and yelling
RENGOKU KYOJURO:
Now Rengoku seems like a type of person to be less of a yelling type at the beginning, but slowly builds up his anger to the point that he starts yelling
Usually the arguments are about how Shinjuro treats Rengoku and Senjuro, with Rengoku insisting that he can convince his father to be better
You try to tell him that Rengoku should ask for help to deal with his father, but Rengoku stubbornly disagrees
His demeanor during arguments is different, his eyes looking darker and it seems like he loses his friendly glow
When Rengoku argues back, he usually uses something your sensitive about, like if you had a bad relationship with your parents
He would claims that he's at least trying to fix his relationship with his dad, hitting you hard and causing you to go speechless
rengoku usually just stomps away from the fight when he's done saying his mind, leaving you teary eyes and with a broken heart
TOMIOKA GIYUU:
Giyuu always wants to avoid arguing as much as possible, always shutting you down when you want to talk about some problems
This causes you to get frustrated and start bombarding him with questions, like why is he avoiding their problems
Giyuu seems like the type of person to talk more than yell, but his voice is still strained as if he's holding back from yelling at you
Giyuu knows exactly where to hit you to make it hurt, taunting you about problems that you could never solve
His words would go to the point that he makes you burst out crying and run out of the room
He immediately regrets whatever he said in the argument, and ends up going to bed alone, covering himself in the sheets as tears of regret slide down his face
Bonus!
Giyuu wouldn't be able to face you for a few days after the a t in fear of hurting you again with his words
It takes a lot of reassurance from you to get him outside again
SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI:
Sanemi is the type of dude yo go all out during arguments, yelling and screaming at you, even sometimes going as far as you throw things into the ground in rage
You both seem like you're at each other's necks, not backing down from proving your side right
Sanemi seems like the type of person to call you degrading names, such as coward, selfish, etc.
You try to stay calm at first, but you have yo resort to yelling to get your point across
Sanemi is usually arguing to you about staying out of his and Genya's relationship, saying that it is non of your business
You end up running out of breath before he does, simply listening to him yell at you for a few more minutes before he storms out the room and slams the door
By the time he's gone, tears are already streaming down your face, breathless and tired from screaming your lungs out as you collapse to your knees, sobbing
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flametrashiraarchive · 9 months
Note
hi there!! could I request a sanemi x reader where the reader is either taken or severely injured by a demon?? I am a SLUT for a good protective angst to fluff so you may take any and all creative liberties🤭🤭
Argh this hurt so good haha. Poor 'Nemi 😭 thank you for your ask! I hope you enjoy it!
Cw for you being badly injured, blood, swearing, being in a coma. No sex, just pain and suffering (with a happy ending)
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Sanemi Shinazugawa x injured reader
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Sanemi presses his hand firmly to your stomach to stem the bleeding. "Not you. Not you too. You're not fucking leaving me, understand?"
His heart is pounding in his chest, his blood running cold. The demon who injured you is already dead, but if it wasn't Sanemi would kill it all over again and again and again. How fucking dare that monster do this to you? He wants to tear it apart.
"Talk to me. Say something, goddamn it." His voice cracks as he begs you. 
You're barely clinging to consciousness as you reach up and caress his face, accidentally smearing your blood across his cheek. "'Nemi… it's okay."
"No it's not fucking okay, moron."
And then you pass out, and he realizes those are the last words he may ever say to you. 
It's his fault. All of it. 
If he'd fought harder, been firmer with you about you staying home for this mission, taken out both demons instead of trusting you to deal with one of them. If only if only if only. 
Sanemi's life has been plagued with if onlys. He presses his forehead to yours and prays. Who he is praying to, he has no idea… you, the gods, Buddah, death itself… anyone who'll listen.
"Please, please, please. Not you. Not you." 
Hot tears roll down his cheeks as he keeps applying pressure to your wound. His kasugai crow is on its way to bring help. All he can do is hold in your guts and plead.
"Don't leave me alone."
He puts his cheek against yours so his lips are by your ear. "I'll marry you. I'll treat you like goddamn royalty. I'll do anything, just stay. Stay with me." His voice breaks. "Stay. With. Me. Please!"
He doesn't let go. Even when the medical squad comes to help, he keeps the pressure on your wound until they pull him off. And then he holds your hand. He holds it the entire way to the butterfly mansion. He holds it as they operate and put you in a bed to recover, as the doctors come and tell him things he can't understand. All he cares about is whether or not you'll survive. 
Why won't you wake up??
It doesn't matter if you have to rest for months: he'll take care of you while you're bedridden and make sure you take your medicines exactly on time. It doesn't matter if you'll struggle with training for a while: he'll kick your ass all the way through rehab and make you even stronger. He'll change dressings, cook, clean, anything. 
Just…
"Come back to me," he whispers, holding your hand to his forehead as the sun sets on the fifteenth day of your coma. "Wake up, please." 
He's sleeping when you finally do.
Your vision slowly refocuses to find him resting his head on the bed beside your arm, his hand still wrapped around yours. He stirs as you run your fingers through his fluffy white hair, a faint, sleepy smile curving his lips before he snaps back to consciousness and bolts upright.
The force with which he hugs you damn near knocks you into another coma. 
"Don't do that again," he whispers. "You hear me?"
It hurts, but you smile. "I love you too."
He buries his face against your neck and holds you tight, unwilling to ever let you slip away again.
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ninapi · 10 months
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▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝
Premise: A life without the demon corps was just meaningless. Living with a heavy survivor guilt can really eat someone from the inside. That was until a weak light arrived in the most unexpected way possible, breathing life back into his lungs, making him feel needed once more.
Word Count: 5081
Warning: spoilers, the story takes place after the manga’s original timeline.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Shinazugawa Sanemi was not the wind pillar anymore, he wasn’t Genya’s older brother anymore either. There was nobody left in this world that needed him.
After losing his family and dedicating his youth to demon hunting, losing the corps was the final blow for him.
Why was he the only one left?
He should have died if not with his family back in the day he should at least have died defending his brother’s life, Genya should be the one alive right now, not him.
What is the point of being alive when everything you care for was now gone?
He wasn’t particularly good at anything else besides demon hunting, getting a regular job and settling down was definitely not his style. He walked around the neighborhood he used to live in when his family was still alive, the thought of moving back into his old house crossed his mind, maybe do some renovations, hopefully he could drown in his good memories until time would come to give out his last breath.
But the house was now taken by an unknown family. A lot of people lost it all to demons and the destruction they brought with them, it wasn’t uncommon to see abandoned houses here and there, it made sense the house was deemed abandoned, they did leave to never come back.
He had nothing left, not even his old house.
Starting fresh could be encouraging to others, but for Sanemi it was torture.
None of the dojos he visited needed new instructors, majority of them were terrified by his looks alone, if a bunch of guys hitting each other for no apparent reason didn’t want him there what type of job was he supposed to get? It’s not like he was well mannered and literate like Tomioka or had a support network like Tanjiro. What’s the point of being the second strongest pillar if the demons were now all gone.
Sanemi’s lunch was now being given to stray ducks as he had no appetite whatsoever, feeding them was more productive than remaining in such a depressing head space, that’s when an orange rolled in between his feet. He didn’t think much of it, maybe someone dropped it while shopping, but then another orange came rolling next, and then three, making him look back in confusion.
A lone cart full of oranges was coming full speed down a hill with no one pushing it. He had to do something otherwise the villagers could get hurt, he saw small children playing around the area not long ago. Running towards it he was able to stop it before anything major happened, only a few oranges were lost, and the cart was still in good shape. A young woman came running in his direction panting for her life, “Thank you so much, good sir. My cart, it was so heavy, I lost control of it on my way home.”
Not trusting your current strength, he kept on holding the cart, still thinking of the kids running around and how exhausted you looked. “Were you heading down hill?”
“Not really, I was actually supposed to go up the hill behind us, but the cart was heavier than I expected, and it wouldn’t listen to me, so it rolled backwards.” Sanemi stared at said hill with a worrisome expression, that was no hill, that was a full-sized mountain. You were small, looked frail, pale even, little cuts and scars littering your hands. There was no way you could take the cart up that mountain, and it was not like he had anything else to do.
Somehow you reminded him of his mother and how they always needed to help her move heavy stuff around and reach tall places, wanting to help you came out naturally from his heart. “Lead the way.”
“Eh? It’s ok, don’t worry about me. I can take it!” your blushy surprised looking face caused him to scoff, turning the cart around and walking up the first hill. “Like hell you can. Now shut up and tell me where to go.”
“How can I tell you where to go if I shut up?” you were doing your best not to grin at his constipated looking scowl, but instead of teasing him further you just walked beside him in silence. The climb up to your house was steep, but he didn’t even sweat, before you noticed you were now at the entrance of your property, all over way too fast.
“Thank you, good sir. You can leave the cart there I will unload the oranges.” you ran into a small shed, bringing a cloth to wrap them up and bring them all inside. If the cart was heavy, the load was even worse. You couldn’t even lift them from the ground, causing Sanemi to heave a deep sigh. “Don’t you have a husband to help you? Or someone else like a father or brothers? There’s no way you can take all those fucking oranges inside unless you take one at a time and that would take a stupid amount of time.” He grabbed the load with one hand, swinging it over his shoulder like if it weighted nothing, waiting for you to open the door to your abode.
“I do not. My entire family was devoured by a wild beast while I was being treated in a hospice, far from here. Once I regained my strength back, they were all gone. My brother was the one who did all the heavy work around here, my mother and I would pick up the harvest and take care of the animals.” you had a pretty large farm, it wasn’t well tended now but it had several crops still growing and remains of what it used to be an area for livestock. “So, I do most of the work now that I’m alone.”
He knows how uncomfortable sympathetic comments are, so he doesn’t address the information gained, “Why do you even need so many oranges?” a loud thump could be heard as he set them on the kitchen floor, making the wooden floor tremble at the weight. “I was thinking of using them to make some marmalade and sell it at the markets, growing crops is harder than I thought, and I still need to eat, so had to figure something out.”
It was somewhat comforting for Sanemi hearing about the struggles of someone with a similar background. You both couldn’t protect your family, both had to worry about an uncertain future ahead of you. Both had things the other didn’t, but it felt good knowing he wasn’t the only one out there with similar problems.
“Do you like marmalade? I got some bread earlier, come sit down. Let me make you some tea, I still need to thank you for your kindness.” he nodded looking around for a place to sit down, the climb and the lack of food were starting to get to him, it sounded like a good idea.
He never thought making marmalade could be as complex, he had nothing better to do so he just looked at you from where he was sitting. Your hands were so small you needed both of them to stir the mix in the pot, it was amusing. The focus you were putting into making the treat, the tip of your tongue poking out passed your lips in concentration, it was all very eye catching. He’s always admire people that are good at cooking, always wanted to make delicious ohagi for himself, but he wasn’t the best with his hands unless it required brutish strength.
Once the marmalade was ready, you brought it to the small table in front of him, setting down a loaf of bread, a knife and two cups of steaming green tea.
Sanemi thinks back of the last time he was able to relax this way, sad thing really, he hadn’t ever since his mother left this world. Thinking of having afternoon tea without a worry in the world, it’s been over a decade since he had the luxury to do just that.
“Is it good? Do you like it? If you don’t, I can bring out something else.” the expectant look in your eyes made him contemplate what was in his mouth. It was sweet and very refreshing, he’s never had orange marmalade before so he couldn’t really compare it to any other, but he definitely didn’t hate it and wouldn’t mind eating some more. “It’s good, I’m sure it will sell well.” happy with his reply, you tried a bit yourself making mental notes of how to improve it even more.
Teacups were empty, plates clean, it was time for Sanemi to go back to wonder around town, maybe even try to find that one inn he heard about the day before. As he was getting up from his seat heavy rain came pouring down, a loud thunder making you jump. “When it rains this bad around here it takes a while for it to go away; would you like to stay for dinner? Um…sir?”
“Shinazugawa. Shinazugawa Sanemi.”
“Would you like to stay for dinner, Shinazugawa-san? I’m (Y/N) by the way.” he was starting to worry for your well being, you were deliberately letting an unknown man into your house and didn’t even know his name, that was not safe, even without demons around. “Tch, not like I have a choice.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The rain was just not stopping, dinner was done for, and it was pitch black outside, the mountain’s treacherous paths were not places to wonder around in a stormy night like this one, “Shinazugawa-san, how about you stay for the night? You can stay in my brother’s room; I can even lend you some of his clothing so you can take a bath.”
A bath, it’s been days since he took one of those, an alluring offer indeed, but somehow the way you were taking the situation didn’t sit right in his stomach, rage was now bubbling inside his chest at your disregard for your own safety.
“Are you dumb or what? Do you not see me as a man? Hell, you do know you shouldn’t bring men you don’t know into your house, right? Specially not at night.” his angry outburst made you giggle, closing the front door shut to make a statement. “You sound like my brother, he used to say things like that to my mother. I do know you though, you’re the very kind young man that helped a woman in need without asking anything in return, I even know your name now.”
“So what? Is not like I couldn’t just do something to you now that it’s dark, it’s just the two of us here in the mountain, no one would hear if something was to happen, nobody would come even if you screamed for help like a damn pig. Don’t do stupid things like that even if you think you know someone, you don’t know a fucking thing about me.” he was shouting at this point, his fists shacking. He was really a kind man, all he wanted was for you to understand how evil the world out there could be, to others it could be overwhelming to have a figure like him shouting so angrily at them but you could see he was just worried.
“I won’t do it again, Shinazugawa-san, I promise. Now please come with me, I will show you where the bath is.” your attitude and gentle smile were infuriating. All he could think of was how his sweet mother got beaten down by his own father and the men he would bring home sometimes for drinks. How she could barely defend her children and would always ended up hurt, how she had no chance whatsoever to fight stronger men. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself either, you needed some sense put in that head of yours before it was too late.
He pinned you against the bathroom wall, one of his muscular thighs going in between your legs, rendering you useless against his grip, he was glaring down at you in a strangely attractive way triggering many things within you, except fear, “See how easy it is for me if I wanted to hurt your ass? Take me seriously dammit, take every man fucking seriously, you can’t trust someone you don’t know so easily, it will get you killed.” he let go off your wrists roughly, wanting you to learn your lesson, but one of your hands reached for his, “You have a blister. Let me bring a bandage so we can clean it, it was probably the cart, it tends to do that.”
“No, stop. Why are you acting this way? Are you out of your mind? I could have assaulted you just now, open your eyes woman!”
“But you didn’t. You had more than one chance to do as you pleased with me, but you didn’t. Instead, you ate my food, laughed at my jokes, helped me when no one else did. You are a kind man Shinazugawa-san, wether you want to accept it or not. I’m not stupid, I wouldn’t invite someone over to my house if it could do me some harm.”
Sanemi was speechless. You didn’t consider him dangerous? He couldn’t even get a decent job because everyone would look at him like the killer he is. If there was someone dangerous out there it was him, he could kill you without even trying, in seconds, painfully, he was the second strongest in a chain of the strongest people humanity had to offer. There was something off with your view of the world.
“Now, stay still, I’m going to clean it.” his hand has never been held that way before, of course he’s had his wounds tended to, he’s always needing some patching up after his many battles, but your touch was different, it was so gentle, he could feel how you were really worried about him, about his tiny blister hurting with your touch, like if he was as frail as you were. “You gotta make sure the wound is properly cleaned before you apply bandages, look at yourself, all those scars…I bet they were all so painful…you need proper care if you don’t want them to get infected or leave traces. You tell me to take care of myself but wouldn’t look in a mirror first.”
Nobody talks to him like that, specially not females. The girls of the butterfly state were always scared of him and just looking their way would make them run away. The only active women in his life were his mother and sisters, he never had time to mess around with girls or to get his wounds properly taken care of, there were demons out there that needed to be killed and that’s all that mattered to him back then.
“Are you seriously not afraid of me?”
You looked up into his eyes, staring at him in disbelief, his tone was a lot tamer now you could hear the honest confusion lacing his words, “Why would I? You look tough, that’s true. But I am nobody to judge others. My brother also had many scars from taking care of the farm, even several of his toes were missing from when he stepped on a saw by accident, you’re not the only one around with a couple of fingers missing in this violent era. People used to say he was scary, all big and full of scars, skin tanned by the long hours of working in the fields, but he was a gentle man, always took great care of me and my mother. You strike me as the same type, you don’t feel like someone who would hurt the weak, you feel more like someone that protects them.”
Sanemi was left speechless once more as you left for him to enjoy his bath, you made sure the water was warm enough from the outside, blowing on the fire constantly until you heard him come out. He’s never been able to relax this much, he knew demons weren’t a threat anymore but that didn’t only mean he was unemployed, he didn’t think of what that meant fully until now. No demons meant less danger, meant being able to take his time to live life, to breathe, to relax. It was a strange feeling, not having to worry about someone bursting the door open and slaughtering the woman outside, but it was a good kind of strange.
He felt awfully relaxed that night and after years of nightmares, he was finally able to sleep peacefully.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It’s been three days and the rain just wouldn’t stop. Sanemi had helped you covering the crops so they wouldn’t die out in the rain but there was no sign of it stopping any time soon. It was typhoon season, and it was heavily hitting you this year.
Not only did he help with the crops, but the roof also had holes in it which you two didn’t notice until you woke up to a flooded floor, so he repaired it. Your front door wasn’t safe enough for his liking, so he used his extra time to take care of that as well. He didn’t even notice time was moving this fast and days had gone by. It wasn’t as bad having something to do, keep your mind busy and your body active, regular people life wasn’t as boring and dreadful as he originally thought it was.
There was so much to do around the house that he wondered how you’ve managed to live up here in the mountain by yourself all this time. He got to learn you’ve been living here all alone for a couple of years and you have been doing all you can to not let the farm fall, your determination was admirable and made him question his own future.
“Shinazugawa-san, I enjoy thoroughly having you here, but isn’t your family going to worry? It’s kind of been a while now.” the back of his neck was strangely hot, your comment taking him off guard. He enjoyed the simplicity of the last few days comparing it to the rest of his life, he’s never been able to just sit down and listen to the rain fall on the roof sipping on a hot cup of tea, but he didn’t know you were enjoying it just as much.
“I don’t have a family. They also got killed by a wild beast long time ago, the only brother I had left passed this year, so no, nobody is going to worry about me not returning home, I don’t even have a home.” the stoic look on his face while he was retailing his life tragedy worried you, it’s something he should feel sad for, but he didn’t look sad, he looked angry, and you could understand that feeling, your family was taken away from you in the very same way.
“I bet your brother looked like you.” he wasn’t expecting that, usually people get uncomfortable with the thought of having to empathize with something they can’t understand and start apologizing, but you did go through the same, you stirred the subject around like he usually does when facing the same situation and he was grateful. “Hm, he had less scars than me, was taller, dark hair. But he did kind of look like me.”
“I bet he was kind too.”
“He was.” you were now pouring more tea in his cup, admiring the heavy rainfall through your window. “My brother didn’t look like me at all, he was way kinder, very smart, had the prettiest face I’ve ever seen with beautiful large eyes.” this made Sanemi look at your face, it was difficult to imagine a big muscly guy that looked anything close to the delicate tiny woman in front of him, but then again, he used to see his mother in Genya all the time. “Sounds a lot like you.” blood was flowing at full speed to your cheeks, decorating your lovely face with tinges of reds.
“Sometimes I wish I was the one the beast ate instead of my brother, the farm needs him, he was so good with animals and with the people at the market too, everyone loved him, he was the best of the two of us, it’s a shame really.”
Sanemi was lost in your face, the way your eyes watered at the memory of your brother, the way a soft defeated smile crept on your face signalizing guilt, he felt understood in a very deep level, strangely. “Same. I did all I could to protect my brother, I wanted him to live a normal life, get a wife, have some kids. But he ended up following me around and dying before me anyways. All my efforts were completely useless. I should have died, not him.” his fists were now shaking against the coffee table, veins popping all around his body as a rush of anger and despair rushed through him at the thought of his dying baby brother.
“I’m sure he just wanted to be with his beloved older brother. I used to follow mine around as well, wanted him to teach me how to get milk from the cow and got myself a kick to the face, turns out they get quite stressed if you’re too excited.” the absurdity of it all felt like getting some sort of medication for the illness that consumed his heart, like a serum being injected into his blood stream, cooling his anger down.
“Dumbass.” the sound of your laughter brought new air into the house, a house that is rather quiet all the time was now loud, and it smelled like a proper home.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
After two stormy days more, the sun was finally out. There was a lot of work to do in the fields to fix the damage caused by the storm. Sanemi started working on it as soon as he woke up without even asking you, and it took you both all day, something you thought would take an hour ended up extending throughout the entire day.
He was better at this than he thought he would, you even ended up planting some pumpkin seeds you got from the market a while back upon his suggestion of adding different types off crops. The front of the farm looked like a proper one afterwards bringing a powerful sense of completion to the both of you. It was hard work, but teamwork does really make a difference. And you two made a good team.
The sun was setting, all there was left to do was water the crops and prepare dinner, fresh rice already cooking in a pot inside the house. “Maybe you can grow some berries and do your marmalade using them instead of having to buy oranges, growing orange trees seems like a pain in the ass and there are wild berries in the forest, should be easy to find some and bring them here.” you were giving it serious thought, you’ve never thought about changing the ingredients, you were just replicating the treat your mother used to do for you and your brother when you were little. Being so lost in your head doing ingredient calculations and noting ideas for the recipe, you didn’t see the frog that was comfortably resting on your foot. Once you did though, panic filled your insides, you hated frogs and would always stay as far away as possible from them.
“Shinazugawa-san…there’s…there’s a-“ you looked like you were about to faint so he walked closer to you, spotting the aggressor, “(Y/N) is just a stupid frog, move your foot, it’ll go away on its own.” you shook your head closing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to hurt the poor animal out of your own silly phobia.
Sanemi crouched down to your feet, grabbing the little troublemaker and took it over to the edge of the river near your property. When he came back you were still frozen in place, sweating. “It’s gone now.” You were ridiculous, it was just a tiny frog, you couldn’t even defend yourself against a frog, how were you going to defend yourself against the odds of life. You let out a long-held breath, taking his hands in yours as a token of appreciation, quickly forgetting the hose was in your hand and getting his face completely wet.
“(Y/N)….you little piece of shit….” his face was red, a deep snarl on his face. You threw the hose to the ground and ran for your life, laughing in the process. “I’m so sorry!! Kyaaaaa, how are you this fast!” one step of his was five of yours, he caught up to you in no time and the look on his face was a sight to behold.
He wasn’t angry, his wet hair was sticking onto his face, and he was laughing. He looked way younger this way and it made you feel relived to see he was having as much fun as you did these days. Your hand reached his face, caressing the droplets of water away, a loving smile gracing your lips. He wasn’t sure when things started heading in this direction but he’s never felt that way before and he didn’t hate it.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
There weren’t more excuses for Sanemi to linger around, the rain was gone, the farm cleaned up from the storm, even the marmalade was ready to be sold. He offered to help you with the cart since it was even heavier now that the load had increased.
The idea was for him to take you downtown and then leave and move on with his life, find a job and a place to stay.
But you didn’t even know how to build the display table in the market and then unloading the cart is faster between two people. Then an old lady asked him for three jars of marmalade and by mid afternoon he was still by your side selling your goods.
“Sir, could I convince you and your wife to trade two of your jars for one of my chickens? I don’t have any money left but I would really like to take some home for my kids.” His what- the cloth he was using to clean the table ended up on the floor at her statement, taking him off-guard, you also didn’t say anything to deny it. “What do you think, dear husband? I think it would be a good idea, we could look around and see if we can find her a mate and get eggs from them.” so you were seriously not just going to ignore it but also go along with it-
“Um, yeah. There’s some spare wood in the shed, I could use that to build them a house.” the lady was now handing him the cage with said chicken, waiting anxiously for the last two jars of goodness to be her own.
“You make such a lovely couple; I wish my husband was as understanding and loving as yours. Thank you, my children and I will be forever in your debt, my youngest is celebrating her birthday today, I wanted to bring something special home.” it somehow warmed both of your hearts, you both think of days when you had a large family and how much fun you had eating delicious treats with your siblings, children laughter filling out every corner. “Thank you for your kind words, we’ll take good care of your chicken. I hope you and the children have a lovely evening!” and just like that the marmalade was officially sold out.
“So where do you think we can find Mia’s future husband?” he wasn’t sure how or when you and him became a ‘we’ but he wasn’t mad at how it sounded like and the intentions behind it. “Did you just name the fucking chicken?” he was used to your silly antics by now but it was still very much amusing to him, your quiet giggles confirming he was right. “I saw someone selling some chickens by the entrance, let’s go see if they have one after cleaning up.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Time Skip~
It’s been ten years since Sanemi started coming to this market every morning. He still misses the fun days of demon hunting, but mostly he still misses his brother. Life wasn’t as good to Genya as it was to him, and he still felt guilty from living the life he wanted his brother to have.
Having a permanent stall in the market came with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of hard work, but his strength was put to good use by the smartest person he’s ever met.
“How much for the corn?” Sanemi, who was now cleaning the small worktable looked up to tend his first customer of the day. “If you take two you get one fr- Tomioka???” Giyuu was smirking at him from the other side of the table, a knowing look in his eyes. “That apron looks good on you, Shinazugawa.” Leaving the stall behind, he walked over to his old pillar mate, it’s been years since the last time they saw each other.
“Heard your stupid ass went to live with his old master like a sissy lost baby, near Tanjiro and the gang of brats.”
Some things never change.
“Yeah, it’s been a while, we didn’t even know you were still alive.” the conversation got cut short by a child clinging onto Sanemi’s leg, getting Giyuu’s attention. “Father, mother needs your help unloading the milk crates.”
Crouching down to his size, Giyuu stares into the child's eyes, lost in the memories of his lost friends, painful days of loss came right into his heart, “You look just like your uncle.” patting the child on the head, he smiled, the ghosts of his lost comrades shining behind the toddler. “I know, I was named Genma after uncle, but my hair is like this because of mother, the rest have father’s hair.” As if on cue you came out of the back with a baby tied to your back, an older looking boy than the one before him holding a sleeping girl in his arms. “Nemi, the milk!”
“I see you’ve been busy.” Sanemi’s face was red as a beet, making him grumble insults quietly for his child not to hear.
“I’ll do it in a second, come here, I want you to meet an old friend of mine.” this was the first time any of them had addressed the love-hate relationship they had in the past as friendship, but now being older they both agree that’s what it was. “Tomioka, this is my wife (Y/N)”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you…and your four children…” the smirk on his face was so sly nobody would notice it but Sanemi, it made him want to punch his guts like he would do back in the day when they were younger.
“Is that your wife over there, Tomioka-san? I see you also have a little one, take some of our milk, our kids love it!” The child looked just like him, it was an easy guess. You were doing your best to move around with a child on your back and a swell on your stomach, a promise of another youngster arriving soon. The woman behind Giyuu came holding his son and after a long chat and bunch of laughter they promised to go to your place for dinner soon.
Ten years ago Sanemi thought he had lost it all.
And he did.
But he made a silent promise to Genya after meeting you, he would live as long as he could, never waste the opportunity to live his brother gave him, never let his sacrifice be in vain, he would live for the both of them, he would bring life to this world and protect it the way he couldn’t protect his siblings, he would protect his family until his last breath and once that moment comes and he gets to see him again, he will have many stories to share as they embrace eternity together, as family.
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Tagged babes: @doumadono
Masterlist Bonus Chapter
916 notes · View notes
witchy-scribblings · 8 months
Text
for good
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shinazugawa sanemi x reader
synopsis ➳ his plan had been perfect: push everyone away to escape the responsibility of death when it inevitably happened. it had been perfectly crafted to protect himself and the people who surrounded him... the only problem with this plan is that you vehemently refused to stick to it.
warnings ➳ angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, mean sanemi, lots of swearing, lowercase
wordcount ➳ 3.5k
[crossposted on ao3]
requested by @generic-teez-127
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“thank you for helping out with the shopping today.” sanemi’s voice called for your attention to stray from the dusty path extending ahead of you. the street was bustling with people, as it was to be expected at midday, but your friend’s voice reached you firm and clear. you smiled.
“it’s nothing. it’s the least i can do since i stay over so often,” you giggle. “i might as well just move into your house at this point.” 
you had known sanemi and his family for almost as long as you could remember, but it wasn’t until after his father’s recent death that your visits to the shinazugawa household began to increase in number. the eldest son would have been surprised if he didn’t already know you like he did after all those years of budding friendship in the streets. he was aware of the distant relationship you held with your parents as much as he knew that you loved his mom and little siblings like they were your own. 
“that could work…” he acquiesced, and you turned to stare at him, perplexed. “i mean, we could use as many available hands as we can get now that he …” he trailed off, huffing. “it’s going to be hard from now on. but everyone back home loves you, really. mom is always asking if you’re planning to stay for dinner to make more food, or overnight so she can take out an extra futon. genya hasn’t stopped talking about you since you stayed that time to help with his fever while mom and i were busy.” the fond smile on his face was impossible to miss.
“i… i was joking, nemi. i really wouldn’t want to impose-”
“i want to have you over more often.” he spoke, quietly. “i want you with us- me , for good.” those statements, along with the faint blush on his cheeks, were enough to dissipate any further reservations you may have had.
“okay,” you beamed at him, delighted by his own blinding smile. “i will stay with you. for good.”
-----------------------
the ubuyashiki estate was deadly quiet. at least, you couldn’t hear anything outside of the guest room, no rushing servants, nor chatter between the manor’s residents. it almost felt sacrilegious to break the silence by starting a conversation with genya, who was sitting right in front of you, just as silent and tense as you felt.
“we can just leave, genya. we don’t have to wait for master himejima here…”
today had been the day assigned for one of the semiannual pillar meetings, as well as the first one held since you became the rock pillar’s tsuguko. himejima had been kind enough to take you in as his successor while also offering to train genya, your childhood friend, despite his inability to perform a breathing style. you had known genya long enough to guess when anxiety was eating him alive; his stiff shoulders, unfocused gaze and pinched lips were more than obvious tells. he didn’t answer, but you knew he had heard you, so you took that as a sign to continue.
“are you sure you’re ready to see him?” you, personally, didn’t think he was. and, frankly, neither were you. genya finally looked up at you, and he appeared absolutely offended by your question.
“i am ready,” he protested, determined. “everything i’ve done up until now has been so i could face sanemi again. there’s no way i’m chickening out now.” and then, he wavered, and you knew he wouldn’t have shared his next words with anyone who wasn’t you: “but i admit… i’m scared. i called him some really messed up shit that day.”
you hated that he kept blaming himself for that.
“you didn’t know,” you reminded him, gently. “you couldn’t have known, genya.” but he remained quiet, and you were left with a sour and tight feeling in the back of your mouth; you knew he would never stop beating himself up for the way he accused his brother of such a heinous crime, all those years back.
shinazugawa sanemi certainly hadn’t deserved being called a murderer, but it wasn’t genya’s fault that grief and ignorance had clouded his judgment. you wished he’d understand.
“...what if he doesn’t forgive me?” he spoke after another extended period of heavy silence. this time, words failed you. the sanemi you knew would have never held it against his beloved brother, but neither would he have run away without a word, leaving you to pick up the broken pieces that remained of his one living brother and yourself.
you weren’t sure you knew sanemi anymore. you couldn’t assure genya that the man he was about to face again, for the first time in years, was still the brother he once looked up to.
“if he doesn’t forgive you…” you take a deep breath, reaching out for genya’s hands, petting them gently until he released their harsh grip on the legs of his pants, “...i’ll still be right by you, genya.” you offer what you hope comes across as a comforting smile. “we’re together in this.”
you’re relieved when genya finally cracks a smile. it’s small and uncertain, but a smile nonetheless.
“we’re together in this.”
-----------------------
all things considered, it was a beautiful day despite the cloud of dread looming close by wherever you went. the sky was blue and the air, crisp. ubuyashiki’s garden was stunning as it was impressive, and you wondered if you would one day have seen it enough to take its beauty for granted.
the meeting had come and gone without a hitch, and you now found yourself next to genya, waiting for the rock pillar to appear and whisk you back to your training duties. deep down, you wished you wouldn’t see sanemi before being forced to left; perhaps it’d be for the best to simply walk different paths, but you knew that your roads were headed in the same direction, that confrontation would eventually be inevitable.
so inevitable that it was immediate.
the wind pillar had been the first one to excuse himself with the adjournment of the meeting, or so you assumed, because so far he was the only one on his way to leave the impressive building, walking in a confident stride towards the entrance of the estate; a confident stride that faltered to a gradual stop the moment you came into view, with genya standing stiffly by your side.
you could see the younger brother open his mouth to speak from the corner of your eye, but speech failed him and no one said a word for what felt like minutes, but couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.
“is this some kind of twisted joke?” breathed sanemi, eyes wide and crazed, while he kicked himself into action and closed the distance in a scarily small amount of steps. you noticed how he seemed unable to decide who to focus all of simmering wrath on, until his eyes descended on you. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing here? why are you wearing that? ”
unlike genya, who wasn’t yet deemed ready to partake in final selection, you were already an official demon slayer, a tsuchinoto and a tsuguko, and as such you were donning the slayer uniform you had been provided.
“we’re demon slayers, sanemi.” you didn’t let your voice waver, no matter how much the stranger in front of you radiated intimidation through each of his pores. staring firmly into his eyes, you were unable to miss the irritated twitch of an eyelid. “just like you.”
“bullshit,” he spat, and you fought the urge to flinch. the man who was currently breaking into your bubble of personal space may have looked like your sanemi, but those lilac eyes you had always found yourself lost into didn’t hold an ounce of that familiar fondness. not anymore. “weaklings like you, demon slayers? don’t make me fucking laugh.”
“it’s true!” genya finally stepped forward and forced sanemi to get out of your face, if only so he could direct that murderous glare to who had once been his cherished little brother. “this was the only way… the only way we could be together again, like a family. sanemi, i’m so s-”
“i don’t want your fucking apology. i don’t even want to see your face,” he hissed, and genya did startle, because those words were filled with a venom you’d have never attributed to the eldest shinazugawa son. you felt yourself begin to bristle. “a worthless piece of shit like you has no business calling himself my brother. get the fuck out of the corps before i do something about it myself.”
your hand moved faster than your mind, but slower than sanemi’s battle-hardened reflexes, and he caught your wrist in a bruising grip before you could make ill-intentioned contact with his face. those feral eyes were once more nailing you in place, and you couldn’t have stopped the whimper that crept up your throat even if you had tried, not when you felt and heard a sickening crack coming from your hindered wrist.
“and what the fuck are you tryna pull? you think i won’t break your wrist, don’t you? that i won’t show you how weak and useless you are?” sanemi chose to ignore the small tears springing along your waterline.
“nemi… you’re hurting me, please-”
“oh, am i? good.” his lips curled into a sadistic grin that had terror pooling in your gut. who the hell was this man standing there, sneering down at you so cruelly with the face of your childhood best friend? “do you see now why you're not cut out for this? and don’t you fucking dare call me that again, do you hear me?”
“i believe that’s enough, shinazugawa.” the spell was broken and sanemi’s hand dropped your sore wrist like it had burned him. “i would appreciate it if you didn’t threaten my students like that.”
you blinked back unshed tears to focus on himejima’s imposing presence standing next to genya, offering a kind and comforting palm on his slumped shoulder. the fear and anger that had festered in you started to simmer into anguish when you noticed how utterly defeated the teenager looked, downcast eyes fixated on the gravel where he stood.
then, you looked back at sanemi; you weren’t expecting to catch the briefest glimpse of bewilderment on his semblance before it morphed back into his carefully crafted indifference.
“your habit of picking up strays is starting to get on my nerves, himejima,” he countered, clicking his tongue and sending you a look full of finality. “heed my words and forget about becoming slayers. i’d better not see you again.”
and one more time, sanemi left without looking back.
-----------------------
it wasn’t hard to learn the whereabouts of the shinazugawa residence; it’s not like it was a hidden location like the headquarters or the swordsmith village, so asking around easily set you in the right direction that one moon bathed night.
genya hadn’t been the same since that day at the ubuyashiki estate, and even though neither had he been discouraged to carry on with his training, both you and your teacher knew that the brutal rejection had carved a bleeding hole in his psyche. himejima had warned the two of you to steer clear of the wind pillar, and you had decided it was best to obey.
one week was all it took for that resolution to slip, and against you master’s orders, you were off to reignite an unfinished conversation.
sanemi had yet to get the piece of your mind you’ve been brewing for years.
truthfully, it was a dangerous idea, because that child you used to love had become just that: dangerous and unpredictable, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to head back. not with how he had treated genya and you like neither had ever meant a thing to him. and so, you sneaked into the training yard with as much stealth as you could muster, hoping that your skills and the element of surprise would be enough to avoid a confrontation against your favor. it was a solid enough plan, or so you had hoped, until you found yourself restrained - with a calloused hand around you neck and another on your arm - against the stone wall that surrounded the residence just because you had underestimated the prowess of a fucking pillar.
looking back, it really had been a plan so idiotic it deserved praise.
“what the fuck did i tell you, huh?” the night wasn’t so dark that you couldn’t make out his face; those purple eyes glowered down at you with a mercilessness that, coupled with the low snarl of his voice, almost made you regret having come back for more. you tried not to dwell on how his touch lacked the distinct warmth it had always spared you. “you weren’t always this fucking dumb.”
“and you weren’t always… this fucking awful.” it hurt to breathe and to try getting the words out, but you weren’t going to let him have the last word if you could help it. there was no reaction to be perceived, but you felt the grip on your neck loosen slightly, enough to allow you to speak but not to let you escape.
“what the hell are you doing here?” he pressed, and you felt more than saw him invade your space once more with how his warm breath started to fan over your heated face.
“we weren’t done. i wasn’t done-”
“like i give a shit what you have to say, just disappear from my fucking life.”
“you did that well enough for the three of us.” you knew you had struck a chord when sanemi growled your name lowly, a warning, but you continued, hardly caring what he did to you at this point. “you had no right to leave without a word and you had no right to say those foul things to genya.”
“he needs to be put in his place, and so do you.” if you weren’t so fucking pissed off maybe you’d have caught the hesitance barely peeking from behind his detached tone. but you were, so you didn’t.
“what the fuck is your problem, sanemi?” you shouted, raising your free hand, but the pillar removed his fingers from your neck to restrain both of your arms before you could strike him, pining you further against the scratchy stone. “there isn’t a day genya doesn’t regret what he called you that day, and when he tries to apologize-”
“i don’t care about his apology,” he huffed, coldly.
“he couldn’t have known! if only you had stayed-”
“it’s not about what he said, will you just fucking shut up-”
“i’m not going to shut up, for fuck’s sake! we are family, sanemi! what the fuck did we even do for you to push us away like this?” you tried to push through the burn in your eyes and the tightness in your throat because you really needed to understand, more than anything, where it had all gone so wrong. “just help me figure out why you won’t let us in. we still lo-!”
“don’t you fucking understand?! i don’t want you anywhere near me ever again!” that stunned you into silence, but sanemi still wouldn’t stop his mouth now that it had begun running. “what the fuck do i need to do to make you understand that you need to fuck right off and leave me alone?! we’re. not . family. anymore. get that through your dumb skull and move the fuck on!”
the night air blew cold against the dampness on your cheeks. sanemi’s hands were unmistakably trembling where they pined you, and in a moment of clarity you realized that it wasn’t anger that made them shake, at least not entirely. 
“sanemi… you’re just a fucking coward.”
“...say that again,” his whisper was dangerous and near crazed, but you accepted the challenge despite the goosebumps that licked over your clammy skin.
“you’re a coward, and i’m not leaving you alone. neither is genya. we’re together in this whether you like it or not, so drop this fucking attitude at once and let us in.”
only crickets filled the contemplative silence that ensued and, for a moment, you dared to feel hopeful that, somehow, you had managed to bring your sanemi back.
“why are you so hellbent on staying?” you found strength in how he sounded near defeated. as if you had expected his question, you released the words without an ounce of hesitation.
“because that’s the last thing you ever asked of me. to stay, for good. and, even now, you’re still asking me.”
“i’m not-”
“yes, you are,” you insisted, desperately trying to come to a breakthrough, “you’re trying so hard to put up a front that is not you, and don’t think for a second i’m going to believe that you just stopped caring about us because that’s not something that the nemi i know would ever do.” you were sure it was the nemi you knew who slowly let go of your arms, letting his hands fall limply by his sides.
“stop. fucking stop. i told you not to call me by that name. you don’t know anything about me-”
“-so teach me, then. i want to learn all about this new you, nemi.” tentatively, you reached out towards the silver outline of his face until your fingers made gentle contact with his cheek. the way he flinched made you sure that he was going to slap your hand away. and yet, he didn’t.
sanemi tried. he tried so hard to resist the warmth of your fingertips on the rough surface of the scar that split his face in halves, despite coming to the fast realization that he was fighting a losing battle. he didn’t protest in any way when you cupped his cheeks in your hands, succumbing to those searching eyes that had never stopped coming back to him in his dreams.
he hated how much prettier they were than what he remembered, now that they were seeing him at last.
“you won’t like the new me,” he warns, but there’s barely any trace of the bite he’s flaunted since since you saw him for the first time in years; it was surprising, to sat the least, to see the façade finally crumbling.
“the only you i don’t like is the sanemi who’s fighting tooth and nail to keep me out.” the tears were another, grander surprise when you felt them run into the hands cradling him so lovingly, and your thumbs worked fast to gather and wipe away the wetness.
“i’m begging you…” he tried, one last desperate effort to push you away before every wall he had spent so long building and strengthening came crashing down like a house of cards. “this is not the kind of life i want for you two. i’ve lost so much to those heartless fuckers already… you’re all i have left. i… i can’t-”
“then let’s fight together and protect each other to the best of our abilities, okay?” tentatively, you let yourself fall forward, burrowing into the warmth that he had tried so hard not to spare you, and sanemi let you; against his better judgment, he welcomed your trembling body against his, and he held you like he hadn’t held you in far too long. “you don’t have to be alone anymore, nemi. we’re here. i’m here.”
sanemi didn’t let himself hope, he didn’t think he was able to anymore. but he grasped your promise and ran with it, and he allowed himself to at least believe you.
“...this doesn’t fix everything,” you mutter into the open window of his chest, taking in the sweet smell that you had found there, “you’ve hurt genya very badly, sanemi.”
“i know,” he admitted it like the guilt had been eating at his mind for a long time. it probably had. “i know this isn’t an excuse, but everything i said and did was with your best interest in mind and-”
“-and you suck at guessing best interests because you didn’t even bother to ask us what we wanted.”
“for what it’s worth, i’m sorry i threatened you and pushed you away, and i’m sorry i nearly broke your wrist.” as if to emphasize his point, his large hand came to wrap itself around the offended joint, caressing with a gentleness that finally had his name on it. “i’ll… apologize to genya in the morning, i can promise you that but, for tonight… would you stay with me?”
it was a question, asked with such vulnerability, that brought you back years before, and the answer came to you as easy as breathing-
“i’ll stay, for good.”
-as easy as loving shinazugawa sanemi.
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thank you to @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi and @sunandflame for the ideas and for convincing me not to make this hurt/no comfort :D
354 notes · View notes
settingmyheartablaze · 4 months
Text
strong
sanemi x reader
content warning: mentions of violence
word count: 4.5k
You were no slayer.
It was the reason your husband, Sanemi, watched over you like a hawk each time you went out. Whether it be to the market, your friend’s home, or even just a stroll for some fresh air — if you walked out the doors of his estate, he was right beside you — no exceptions. He had always fussed over you like that, insisting that there was no such thing as too careful. It was almost comical, seeing how it was such a stark contrast to his exterior demeanor of cold-hearted ruthlessness. His worrisome disposition had taken countless hours of sleep from him, and you weren’t sure he’d ever be able to leave your side to attend his missions if not for his younger brother, Genya.
Not long after you had married Sanemi, Genya had quickly become quite fond of you. Anytime Sanemi was out on a mission, the young boy found himself regularly checking in on you. It was the only time Sanemi reluctantly acknowledged his younger brother’s status as a slayer — he’d never admit it (mostly out of frustration at his own limits), but he was secretly grateful that the young boy was there for you when he couldn’t be. It had become an unspoken agreement between the two of them, a silent neutrality: If Sanemi was away on mission, Genya would visit to see if you needed anything at all, even if just company to escort you around. The brothers adored you far more than you knew, and it seemed that devotion was strong enough for them to put aside their differences, but only when it came to you.
It hurt you that they weren’t on speaking terms, but you were incredibly grateful that Genya still came to see you from time to time, even if it was only when his brother was away — it gave you some way of checking up on him. The young boy viewed you almost like a mother, bashfully coming by to tell you of his accomplishments and help you around the home. Despite Sanemi’s insistence that he wanted nothing to do with him, you knew he was glad for it too from the way he’d leave just a bit too much ohagi for one person prepared at the table when he left for a mission. It was endearing, they way the two of them practically hid behind you to show their care for each other.
This strange little routine had become your norm, and today was no exception. Sanemi had been away on a mission for the last two weeks, making Genya your faithful companion. The two of you were now heading back from the market, warmly chatting away as the young boy carried each of your groceries in tow.
“Genya, really, let me help carry them!” You insisted.
“Not a chance! I’m super strong, so it’s not trouble. Besides, we needed a lot more than usual today, since I’ll be leaving too…” The boy’s voice faltered, a look of worry taking over his expression.
It wasn’t often, but every now and then, typically when your husband had been assigned a longer mission, there would be a brief window where the both of them were out. When this would happen, the both of them insisted on stockpiling the home with everything you could possibly need in hopes of minimizing your trips outside the estate. It made you sad the way you could see the boys sick with worry each time they had to leave you alone, so you always made sure to adhere to Sanemi’s only request he had ever made of you:
Never leave the estate when you’re alone.
While it may have seemed overnparanoid, the spike in recent demon activity had left him in a constant state of stress when leaving you. The man, while somewhat callous to others, had never been anything but kind, gentle, and adoring to you. You had him practically wrapped around your finger, and it was no secret. He spoiled you rotten at each chance he got, so the least you could do to ease his mind was comply with the one thing he asked of you. After all, it was only because he couldn’t bear the thought of you being harmed. His mind could only run rampant with the imagined horrors of what could happen to you if nobody was there to protect you.
Looking back at the boy next to you, it seems the same dark thoughts plagued his own mind. How could they not, after the things they had been through — the things they had lost.
You placed a hand gently on Genya’s arm, giving him a bright smile.
“Don’t worry. I have everything I need thanks to you, and I’ll be right in the house. I’m just lucky I have such a sweet little brother who makes sure I’m safe and sound — and is strong enough to carry all my groceries!”
The boy flushed, a happy smile relaxing his face at hearing such kind words. With the constant rejection he faced from his brother, you never denied him the chance to receive even an ounce of affection from you, showering him with your praise. Then, the boy’s eyes lit up with an idea.
“I know! Why don’t I buy you that fabric you liked from the store down the road? That way you can have something fun to do while we’re away!”
The boy surged ahead of you, excited by the opportunity to do something for you.
“You’ve got to get going soon, and don’t be spending your money on me! Get yourself a treat instead.”
“But Y/N-san, you’ve been needing a new kimono! And now that I defeated an upper rank, I got promoted so I’m making lots of money!” He declared with a cheeky grin. “Come on, we’ll be quick!”
After a defeated argument with the young slayer, you had arrived at home right at dusk with a harvest of groceries, fabrics, and anything else you could have possibly needed. He had quickly helped you put away your things and was now standing at the gates as you were seeing him off.
“It gets cold at night up the mountains, so keep this tight.” Your voice was firm but full of love as you fussed over the the boy’s clothes. He had a loving smile on his face, seemingly touched by your mother-henning.
“I’ll be alright, Y/N-san. You take care too okay?”
“I will. For all we know Sanemi could be back any day now, so I’m sure I won’t be alone for too long.”
“I know…but if anything happens, just send us a crow. I’ll come right away, and Aniki will too!”
“I know you would, but don’t worry about me. You should worry about coming home without a scratch. I’ll make your favorite dinner when you return.”
After a few more affectionate words of encouragement, you saw Genya’s figure trail off into the distance as you said your goodbyes. You were incredibly proud of how far he had come, but couldn’t help but worry a bit yourself each time he was off. You scoffed to yourself, rolling your eyes.
Those boys — they sit there worried sick about me while they’re off fighting man-eating monsters.
Despite their ridiculous double standard, you adored them with your whole heart, praying for a safe return each time they headed out into the unknown.
Now settled into the evening, you made quick work of preparing dinner, cleaning the home, and taking care of any other miscellaneous chores that you had been wanting to get done. Because of Sanemi’s nocturnal working hours, he oftentimes slept throughout most of the day which had inevitably caused you to turn to a nocturnal schedule yourself, despite his many protests. He wanted you to have a healthy sleep schedule and enjoy the light of day, but you insisted you were much happier staying up with him to enjoy his company. You had always been a night-owl anyway, at least you also got to spend the evenings with your beloved when he was home that way, too.
Satisfied with your work, you excitedly pattered over to the bag of fabrics that Genya had purchased for you. Your heart swelled at the boy’s kindness, touched he had always been so eager to do such nice things for you.
I’ll need to use some of this to make him a winter coat. He can’t just keep wearing that slayer uniform alone. Sanemi, too.
Satisfied with the idea, you took your supplies and sat by the fire, basking in its warmth and contentedly humming as you began your project, the flickering light pouring over your cozy makeshift workspace.
You weren’t sure how long you had been sitting there threading away, lost in the intent focus of your crafting. You had always enjoyed making clothes, especially for the boys. It was a way you could give something back to them, as they were constantly out there risking their lives for ordinary people like you. Even further, you knew those two desperately needed someone to take care of them every once in awhile. You stretched, letting out a satisfied groan as you glanced at the now smoldering embers of the once blazing fire.
Goodness, it must be an ungodly hour.
You rose, striding over to the door to peek outside at the moon’s location in attempt to see the time. It was a nifty trick that Sanemi had taught you one night as the two of you sat huddled together, your body nestled against him and curled in between his legs on the roof as you looked at the stars. You supposed it was an incredibly useful skill to have a slayer, where you were constantly counting down the hours to dawn. The memory brought a smile to your face, suddenly feeling that familiar longing for your husband to come home so you could be right back in his warm and comforting embrace.
It was just after three in the morning. You really had been working for awhile. You heard a crow squeak behind you from in the house, causing you to jump in your own skin.
You turned with a laugh, walking over to the bird on his post and scratched under his chin.
“I’m sorry. I’ve kept you up too, haven’t I?”
You weren’t sure where Sanemi had gotten his hands on one of the crows meant for slayers, let alone trained it to follow your every move, but you supposed it was just another of the many things your husband worked for tirelessly in order to keep you safe.
The bird boomed a loud squawk again, almost as if he was alarmed.
“What’s wrong?” You cocked your head in confusion, as the behavior was incredibly unusual for your typically relaxed companion. You turned to the door that was still slid wide open to the outside, carrying a cold draft that swayed the forest outside right into your home.
“Oh, right. The door.”
You turned, heading over to slide it closed. The bird began a furious barrage of cries once more.
“I know, I know, It’s cold! I’m going, don’t worry!”
You had just begun to slide the door shut when you heard it — the faintest snap of a branch. Your hearing had always been good. You used to sit by that very entrance and crane for the sound of Sanemi’s footsteps trudging home. However, this sound was much different. It was a sound that was trying to stay hidden.
Every part of you stilled.
Now, the only things you could hear were the wind rustling through the trees, and your own heartbeat thundering in your ears.
The wave of dread that coursed through your body on instinct confirmed to you exactly what situation you were in.
Sure enough, you saw them. Those eyes.
Glowing a horrid red, they stared right at you as their figure crept closer. You met their gaze, unmoving in shock. Then, the monster let out a horrifying laugh that nearly made you black out.
I need to stay calm. A single second could be the difference between me surviving and —
The idea of even finishing the thought made your heart stop. This was real, which meant you needed to think fast.
When looking back on this moment, you would remember it all in slow motion. It felt like time itself had frozen, giving you the milliseconds you needed to act. In an instant, your hand reached for the sachet hanging just by the doorway while you simultaneously cried out to the bird behind you.
“Go!” You shrieked, thrashing the sachet down below you. The second it hit the floor, an explosion of lilac smoke burst into the room. Despite the dense smog that had erupted all around you, the crow flew out the window immediately on your command, faster than a bolt of lightning.
Please, God. Let him make it to them.
The terror coursing through your body felt toxic; Your breaths were erratic and your whole body was trembling as you spun on your heels to make a bolt for your room. You couldn’t see a thing, but you were hoping your that meant your predator couldn’t either. You had the advantage of knowing the layout of the house like the back of your hand — you could only hope the smoke screen would work long enough to get you the head start. Just when you had made it past the kitchen, you ripped the tablecloth off, scattering it and its contents to the floor in an attempt to distract the demon. Just when you made it to the hallway, the monster flung in through the doorway, crashing straight towards the kitchen and smashing into the cabinets, falling for the decoy. You heard the demon cry out in a rage as the shattered furniture and dishes flew everywhere, but you didn’t falter.
You flew into your bedroom, practically leaping over the bed to Sanemi’s cabinet. It was a slim chance, but every now and then, Sanemi would have a spare sword in there that was needing to be polished or repaired. It was far from ideal, but it seemed like your only option.
Please.
Flinging the door open, you practically sobbed in relief to see one resting there. Reaching for it without a moments notice, you unsheathed it, the pure adrenaline taking over.
You can do this. You’ve watched him, all this time.
You had watched him, all those years, training day in and day out. It had always amazed you, seeing his God-given strength and ability. You couldn’t count the amount of times you sat on the engawa, enraptured by his every move in wonder.
That’s right. You’ve seen it a hundred times. All you need is one good hit.
His movements flashed in your mind - without even realizing it, your love for him had committed each of them to memory. Now, you just had to give it all you were worth and hope that you had even a fraction of his strength. You took a deep breath, tears welling in your eyes.
Be with me, love. Please, lend me your strength, even if it’s only for a moment.
You could hear the demon’s blind rampage getting closer. It was crying out, as if it was in pain.
The wisteria smoke — it’s working. This it it. The only window I’ll get.
Gripping the hilt of Sanemi’s katana, you charged out into the hallway, finding the demon writhing on the floor. With every ounce of strength you had, you ran forward, raising the sword high.
Right in the very moment you were going to swing down, the demon met your eyes in alarm.
No!
The blow came so fast, you weren’t even sure you felt the initial impact. Its leg came flying up and hitting you square in the chest, sending you flying into the wall. The force was so abrupt you flew right threw it, crashing back into the demolished area that was once your kitchen. Gasping for air, the sword fell from your hand as blood spurted out of your mouth.
Get up. You have to get up.
Turning over quickly, you crawled to your feet, desperately trying to run away. Not a second later, you felt the kick again, launching you into the air. Then, a claw gripped your shoulder, slamming you back down into the ground.
You shrieked at the searing pain of your chest being practically ripped open, your blood spraying everywhere. The floorboards beneath you split open from the pressure of your landing.
“You damn bitch! I’m going to rip you apart!” The demon roared furiously.
You could barely breathe. Blood was everywhere, pooling around your body like a lake.
I can’t do this.
You heaved, rendered completely immobile. With a cry of pain, you realized that it was over. You were going to die. For a split second, you contemplated giving up — letting the demon end it quickly. Then, they flashed into your mind.
The two boys you loved most in the world, returning to their home torn apart and your remains splattered along the walls.
No. I have to do this. I have to live.
You weren’t sure what overtook you in that moment. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was the years of watching Sanemi’s breathing techniques, maybe it was sheer desperation. Wherever that miraculous source of strength came from, it had you on your feet, reaching for the demon’s neck. With a cry of pure rage, you ripped the demon down to the floor, pinning it down beneath you. Your hands flew to its arms that thrashed beneath you. The scream in your face was so loud you were sure it had ruptured your ear drums. And yet, you didn’t let go.
I can’t leave them.
A racked sob left your body as you fought to keep the monster beneath you, your muscles screaming at the unbearable pain, tears fueling your desperation.
I won’t leave them.
You were running out of strength. You were sure the only reason you were even remotely capable of holding it down was due to the smoke that was now slowly fading away. You could feel the demon’s force getting stronger beneath you, your own stamina quickly fading. The panic overtook you once more. Pressing down, you let out a horrid scream as you used the last of your energy to slam it back down beneath you.
At the sound of your scream, you heard a thundered rattle in the distance. The force was so intense that you could feel the ground shake beneath you. Your head lurched up in shock, trying to see what could have possibly made such a sound.
Please, God, don’t tell me there’s another!
Before you could even finish looking up, a white flash streaked across your vision — a pair of arms barreled into you so fast you thought you had hallucinated.
In an instant, you were flying across the room, locked in Sanemi’s grasp. He had moved so quickly that the two of you went flying through one of the only remaining walls to the house. He turned his body towards it to brace the impact, completely shielding you from the wreckage as the two of you crashed to the dirt outside.
In all your life, you hadn’t seen anything move that fast. You weren’t even sure it really happened until you felt the pressure of his arms locking you into his shuddering chest in the night air. At the register of his presence, you let out a choked gasp.
“Sanemi?”
You were gulping for air at this point, barely able to make out his name between your desperate and now gurgled heaves. Ripping his body back to meet your gaze, he was practically screaming at you..
“Where are you hurt?!” There were tears streaming down his face, and his whole body was violently shaking as he his hands roughly ran along your body, desperately searching for the source of the blood. You weren’t even able to respond before he had spotted it himself, ripping off his haori to try and cover the wound. You weren’t sure if the awful sound escaping his lips was hyperventilating or sobbing, but seeing him so shaken up stunned you. Not once in your life had you seen him so manic. You desperately wanted to console him, but your mind was still fixated on the threat in the house.
“The demon—” You rasped, but not before the sound of gunfire rattled from the house. Your eyes strained over Sanemi’s shoulder to see Genya blowing the demon’s head off in a blind rage. In that moment, your emotions overwhelmed you, and you began to sob.
They came.
Sanemi was fighting his own cries as he desperately tried to calm you.
“I’m right here, don’t cry! I’m so sorry but try to breathe, I need you to calm down, okay? You need to relax your body so I can stop the bleeding! I’m gonna fix this!” He was holding you so tightly, pressing down on your shoulder to staunch the bleeding.
“Y/N!” Genya came barreling towards the two of you, but froze at seeing the shape you were in. He gasped in horror, tears pooling in his eyes. He only broke his terrorized trance at the sound of Sanemi’s shout.
“Genya! Get Shinobu now!” Before Sanemi had even finished the words, the boy had turned and taken off towards the mansion.
You knew it must have been bad, otherwise Sanemi would have carried you there himself. He looked borderline rabid, scanning your body over and over for something else he could do. He leaned down, pressing dozens of fevered kisses to your face between desperate murmurs of assurance.
“I’m gonna fix this okay? Genya’s getting Shinobu and you’re gonna be just fine. Just stay with me okay? I need you to stay with me.” His former screaming had become soft whimpers, and now his voice was hoarse and broken.
You took a shuddered breath, willing yourself to speak.
“I-I’m so sorry— I tried my best, but the house, everything is gone —”
He wouldn’t even let you finish the sentence, interrupting you with a furious cry.
“Don’t you dare apologize to me! I don’t give a damn about the house! I—” He stopped, too choked up to finish the sentence. Pulling you even closer, his voice trembled as he continued. In a strange way, you almost found his hot-headed temper a comfort after seeing him so afraid.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” He sounded furious with himself, and you you gently shook your head.
“You came just in time. I was getting quite tired.” You tried to make light of the situation, which only caused your husband to let out a strange sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
His hands were wiping the tears from your cheeks, although you weren’t even sure if they were yours or his.
In the distance, you heard shouting. The muffled voices became more clear, and before you knew it, you had been surrounded by frantic kakushi as Shinobu flew to your side. The hashira looked appalled as she took in your condition, the bewilderment evident on her face. She gave Sanemi a worried look, and the man froze in fear.
“She’ll live. She has to. She put up too much of a fight to die now! Please!” You knew you really must have been about to die, because not once in your life had you ever heard your husband say the word ‘please’ to one of his fellow slayers.
Crouching down, the woman listened to your breathing. Snapping up, she began barking orders.
“Her lungs are pierced! We need to move quickly, she won’t even be conscious much longer. Get me…”
You couldn’t make out much else, your vision going blurred and the world suddenly becoming rather quiet. The last thing you remembered was your husbands trembling lips on your forehead murmuring sobbed prayers.
***
It was the feeling of the sun on your face that finally woke you. Letting your eyes adjust to the light, you blearily blinked, bringing you hands up to rub them. However, one if your hands was locked in place. Looking down, you saw your husband passed out in a chair beside your bed, clinging to you.
I must be at the mansion.
You sighed softly, taking a moment to bask in the utter peace you felt.
I’m alive.
You heard a soft snore from the other side of the room, causing you to look over in surprise. Genya was sprawled awkwardly between two chairs the had seemingly made into a makeshift bed, his body contorted in an attempt to curl into them.
Beside him on the floor was a bouquet of your favorite flowers — ones that the boys knew only grew in a particular valley by your home.
You froze, taking in the scene before you. Before you knew it, tears trickled down your face, completely overwhelmed once again by the swell in your chest.
I made it back to them.
Footsteps rounded the corner past your room, and Shinobu entered swiftly, carrying a tray of what looked to be different medicines. As she looked over at you, her face went slack. The tray she was holding collapsed to the floor, her own eyes filling with tears. The sound jolted Sanemi and Genya awake, their head snapping up in unison.
You weren’t sure who spoke first, the three of them immediately up and fussing over you in snorted sobs of relief. Shinobu checked your vitals as Sanemi’s head hit the mattress with a relieved sob. Genya was at your side in an instant.
“Are you all right?” He sniffed, and all you wanted was to take the sweet boy into your arms for a hug.
“Yes—” Your voice wobbled, the tears unable to stop. Seeing them made the boy’s eyes flash with worry.
“Why are you crying? Are you in pain?”
You shook your head, rubbing your eyes.
“No, I’m just so happy I woke up.” You wept. Sanemi took your hand, kissing it over and over.
You turned to shinobu who was feverishly checking over you.
“Thank you so much,” You whispered. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you.”
The woman shook her head firmly, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“No. You’re here because you’re strong. We only made it to you because you kept fighting. Never forget that.”
You were stunned by her words. The people you were luckily enough to call your family were your heroes — they fought tirelessly to protect the world from such evil, and never in your life did you ever imagine that one day, someone would see you the way you saw them — strong.
You were no slayer, but that day, you learned you never needed to be. You had everything you needed to be strong long before you ever gripped that sword.
191 notes · View notes
giyuuzas · 10 months
Text
Drunk Sanemi
Angst. @dnyllmh sorry girly pop this was just on my mind
-
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Sanemi who has had one too many to drink. His request slurs out of his mouth as his hand lazily gestures the bar tender to top him off. Your brows furrowed with worry as you noticed he’s finishing his drinks like they’re water.
“Sanemi..”
“I need another-“ He babbles.
“Let’s go home-“
“I need another one!” His voice rattled the empty glass before him. Your heart aches in pain as your watching him unfold.
Drunk Sanemi who storms out of the bar, leaving you to catch up. Slowly become sober by the harsh winds of the night. Sanemis limp body slowly presses the estate door open. Your hands tremble as you slowly reach out for him, in preparation in case he fell.
Drunk Sanemi who stumbles into the kitchen, instead of grabbing a glass, the bottle of sake soon attaches to his lips. His white hair cascading down his back as his nose lifted towards the ceiling. Your gentle hand brings him back to reality. The bottle clanks against the cold countertop, fumbling hands soon slip against the countertop. Trying to find his grip his body soon falls into itself. His scarred forehead rest on the table. Letting out a heavy sigh you’re left confused as you anticipate his next move.
Drunk Sanemi who’s words don’t slur as he speaks.
“I hate Tanjiro Kamodo….”
“Why-“
“Because why couldn’t my mom become a demon like Nezuko…. What makes them so different than us.”
A small gasp escapes your lips as he continues his rant.
“We were just like them… we were good kids. We were just kids. Why are they so different. Why is the love they have for each other different than the love we had for my mother.”
“Sanemi-“
“I hate Tanjiro… but I hate being a drunk more. I feel like my father.” With that, he dismisses himself from the kitchen. Lazily walking towards your shared bedroom as you continued to stand stunned from his thoughts that can only be revealed through the harsh taste of alcohol.
546 notes · View notes
bokutizer · 11 months
Text
➵ SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI
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summary : a short dream about losing you feels like an eternity in hell tags : fem!reader, fluff, reverse comfort, nightmares, mentions of pregnancy a/n : I'm so soft for this man, help. Just want to wrap him up in a blanket like burrito.
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Cold. Sanemi feels cold as he trudges through the hallway of your shared home, the silence inside it letting him hear the sound of his thumping heart. Everything looks normal, he notes, as he goes from one room to another, looking for you.
So why is his heart beating so fast? Why can’t he call out your name? Why can’t he move his feet when he eventually finds you lying on the floor of the bedroom? He’s frozen in place, not able to reach out to you, and the only thing he can do is stare horrifiedly as a pool of blood forms beneath your pregnant body.
He catches sight of your pale and lifeless skin- Damn it, why can’t he move?
And suddenly your eyes shoot open and a whine gets stuck in the back of his throat. "Sanemi." Why do you say his name like that? With that condescending tone. His name leaving your lips feels like a knife punctuating his heart repeatedly. Mercilessly.
"Sanemi." There. Again. 
"Wake up, Sanemi."
His eyes shoot open and he immediately feels his lungs fill up with air as he desperately tries to assess the situation. His eyes catch yours when he sees you leaning over him, the warmth of your soft palms seeping into his cheeks.
"Are you okay, love? You were moving around a lot in your sleep."
It takes him another few seconds until he realizes that he can actually move. Speak. That everything was just an awful dream and that you’re fine. Both of you are fine. "'M good." He winces when his raspy voice cracks. 
"Another nightmare, huh?" 
Sanemi's only able to nod once he finally dares to move and curl against you, his forehead pressed against your swollen belly while his arm finds purchase around your lower back. Your warmth, your smell, your softness- You ground him.
If he's your rock that strengthens you, you're the earth that allows him to walk. If he's the fire that keeps you warm, you’re the air that lets him breathe. He’s by your side to guide you through life while you’re what actually keeps him alive.  
And you prove it once again when he feels your hand rack through the mess of his white hair, the soothing motion of your fingers calming his heart and mind. "Wanna talk about it?" you whisper but he shakes his head instead. 
"Are you sure?" 
"Yeah. It doesn’t matter anymore... You’re here." 
Despite the worry induced crease between your brows, you can’t help but smile at his words. "Of course I‘m here, silly. Where else would I be?" you think but don’t say it out loud. Instead, you just keep your fingers tangled in his hair, close your eyes and start humming a tune that you've heard the obaa-san next door sing every once in a while, while taking care of her garden. 
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pxob · 10 months
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blossoming love
Sanemi Shinazugawa x Fem!Reader
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Word count: 2695
Category: Friends to lovers, fluff, angst and comfort.
Warnings: Anxious reader and anxious habits, self-doubt, mentions of drinking, swearing and slightly suggestive.
a/n: i needed some comfort and love for myself.
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The room brimmed with a lively atmosphere as all the Hashira, including yourself, gathered to celebrate Shinazugawa's birthday. Carefree and unrestrained, laughter and camaraderie filled the air as everyone indulged in the revelry.
The aggressive clink of two ceramic sake glasses resonated through the tatami room.
"Another!" Rengoku's boisterous voice erupted, capturing the attention of those around him.
"Another, for fuck's sake—" Shinazugawa hiccupped, "round," he stumbled along his speech.
Shinazugawa's flushed cheeks added a touch of warmth to his typically hostile countenance, illuminating his features with a radiant glow, allowing glimpses of his true self to shine through.
A melodious voice called out your name, gently pulling you back to reality. "You're staring too hard," Kanroji crooned.
Startled, you blinked and refocused your attention, meeting Kanroji's captivating gaze. A warm smile graced her lips, as if she had caught you in a moment of silent admiration.
"I don't know what you're talking about," you replied, a soft laugh escaping your lips.
Kanroji tilted her head, her expression resembling that of an adorable puppy seeking understanding. "You should tell him," she suggested, a gentle encouragement.
"No," you quickly replied, gathering your thoughts. Your hands were shaky, and you felt fidgety, you continued, "No, I don't think he sees me in that way, Kanroji-san." The words stumbled out.
Her gaze settled upon Shinazugawa, you followed her line of sight, eyes fixed on him. A pang of bittersweet longing surged through your heart, causing your breath to catch in your throat. The sight of him, with his radiant smile stretching across his face, was simply breathtaking. His scars, rather than diminishing his appeal, added a layer of rugged beauty to his features.
In that moment, his arms draped over Rengoku and Uzui, he joined them in a drunken chorus, slurring out musical lyrics. The three of them, cheered each other on with unabashed enthusiasm. It was a scene of uninhibited joy, yet within the depths of your being, a mix of admiration, longing, and a touch of envy intertwined.
Questions echoed in your mind, taunting your innermost doubts. When would you find the courage? When would you gather enough strength? Each time you attempted to reach out to Shinazugawa, the outcome remained the same—silence. His gaze would turn vacant, as if yearning to escape the situation, leaving you feeling disheartened and unsure of how to bridge the widening chasm between you two.
He also possessed an uncanny perceptiveness that astounded you. Shinazugawa had an innate ability to notice even the most subtle cues—an involuntary shake of your hands, the instinctive act of hiding them behind your back, the nervous swallow before speaking to him, and even the times you absentmindedly picked at your skin when your hands found solace in your pockets. Every anxious detail seemed to lay bare before his discerning eyes.
The keenness of his observation left you feeling diminished, as if your insecurities were laid bare for him to see. You longed to shed the burden of anxiety, to rid yourself of the constant unease that plagued your interactions. It was an inner struggle, an insecurity you yearned to overcome.
And whenever he mustered a response, his words stumbled and faltered, as if caught in a perpetual battle within his mind. Each syllable seemed carefully weighed, as if he were constantly revaluating the potential impact of his words on you.
Shinazugawa now pulled Tomioka, drawing him onto his chest. His expression appeared vacant, only willing to endure Shinazugawa's performance for the sake of his special night.
"All right, Shinazugawa, how about we play a little game?" Uzui suggested, his voice laced with mischief. His eyes swept across the room, ensuring he had captured everyone's attention. A wide grin adorned his face.
"Go on, before you bore me," Shinazugawa retorted.
"You have two choices," Uzui declared. "Either you take five shots, or you answer my question." Uzui’s gaze then shifted directly to you, accompanied by a sly wink, leaving you momentarily taken aback.
Shinazugawa didn't miss Uzui’s flirtatious gesture, his sharp eyes catching every detail, "Ask the fucken’ question."
As soon as you were certain that the attention had shifted away from you, you addressed Kanroji. "Kanroji-san, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the toilet," you whispered politely.
With all discreetness, you slipped through the slightly ajar door, seeking a momentary respite. Unconsciously, you took a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding. As you stepped into the hallway, your attention was immediately caught by a fragment of Uzui’s question to Shinazugawa.
“Why do you not tell her how you feel?”
You choked; a glimmer of hope seeped through your body.
You shook your head, coming to realisation that it was best not to dwell on the possibilities any longer and protect yourself. With that in mind, you proceeded to walk away towards the gardens, where the night was at its peak.
As you tottered through the hallway, you could hear the gasps and muffled bewildered comments thrown at Shinazugawa's answer to Uzui’s question.
After a while, you arrived at the lush gardens. Despite the absence of sunlight, the vibrant colours of the flowers and foliage seemed to emanate a soft glow under the gentle moonlight. The tranquillity of the surroundings provided a stark contrast to the bustling atmosphere indoors.
A sense of calm enveloped you, gently washing away the unease that had once gripped your heart. Like the receding tides of the ocean, your worries dissipated, leaving behind a newfound serenity.
As you strolled beneath the stunning Sakura tree, its delicate blossoms in full bloom, you couldn't help but be captivated by the breathtaking sight. The vibrant pink petals adorned the branches, creating a scene of sheer beauty and peace.
You found a comfortable spot underneath the tree, settling into a seat amidst the scattered fallen petals. Gently, you picked up a few of the delicate blossoms, allowing their velvety touch to grace your fingertips. As you marvelled at their fragile beauty, a poignant realisation struck you—you, too, were like those petals, vulnerable and delicate in your own way.
Lost in the labyrinth of your thoughts, you found yourself struggling to fully register your surroundings. However, the distinct sound of gravel crunching beneath footsteps snapped you back to attention. It reverberated through the air, deliberate and unapologetic, as if the person behind it wanted to make their presence known.
Alternatively, it was their drunken state causing them to carelessly tread upon the gravel without concern.
You turned your head, your heart racing as the crunch of gravel grew louder.
"Shinazugawa-san?" you said, bewildered.
He came to a halt right in front of you, and a mix of nervousness washed over you. Your gaze remained fixed downward, hesitant to meet his eyes. The fear of potential humiliation loomed, as you wondered if he would unleash his usual biting remarks and cruel words that he often directed towards others.
Surprisingly, he had never treated you in such a manner before, but you couldn't help but entertain the possibility that this time might be different.
"Thanks for bein' here today," his voice devoid of any slurring, indicating that he was surprisingly sober.
You mustered the courage to respond, "It's a privilege to be able to attend this gathering, Shinazugawa-san.”
He released a weary sigh and settled down beside you, leaning his back against the trunk of the tree. "Why are ya so formal?" he asked.
Feeling your hands tremble slightly, you instinctively clasped them together, hoping to conceal any visible signs of nervousness. Your gaze averted, you hoped that his perceptive eyes wouldn't catch the faint tremor.
"Sorry," you blurted out.
He shifted his face, turning it towards your line of sight, his eyes meeting yours. "Hey," he said, his voice surprisingly soft, “You don't needa' be sorry."
"How was your birthday, Shinazugawa-san?" you inquired, deliberately shifting the conversation away from the previous subject.
He paused for a moment, contemplating your question before responding. "It'll be better soon," he replied.
"Since you'll be rid of my company," you unintentionally blurted out, the words escaping your lips before you had a chance to filter them. You hastily clasped a hand over your mouth.
A silence seemed to settle over the entire garden, as if time itself had paused. Shinazugawa's gaze fixed upon you. Your hand remained pressed against your mouth, trembling.
In that stillness, he reached out with gentle care, taking hold of your wrist. With a tender touch, he guided your hand down, slowly lowering it from your mouth. It felt as delicate as the blossoms that perfectly surrounded the two of you.
"You didn't hear then?" he asked.
As his words registered in your mind, you quickly grasped that he was likely alluding to his answer to Uzui’s earlier question. Your head instinctively shook slightly.
"Well, would ya like to know?" he delicately offered.
You couldn't help but gaze at him, your eyes sparkling with curiosity and a touch of hope. With a whisper that carried a gentle vulnerability, you responded, "Yes."
His eyes softened, a subtle transformation that sent a cascade of emotions through your being. Your heart skipped a beat, as if it had momentarily forgotten its steady rhythm. The sight before you was breathtaking — Shinazugawa, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, sat beneath the blooming sakura tree, a vision of captivating beauty.
"I told ‘em that she was too precious," his hand gently held onto your wrist, his fingers tracing the delicate contours, searching for the quick rhythmic dance of your pulse.
"That I can't bear the thought of taintin’ her being with my scarred body, mind, and soul." His voice quivered with a hint of self-doubt.
"She’s the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life," he confessed. His fingers continued to trace your pulse, as if he sought solace in its booming beat.
"And so fucken’ delicate, kind, and caring," he murmured, his touch and words intertwining.
It felt like a dream, one of those elusive visions that often danced through your slumber, filling your heart with both hope and despair. In those dreams, you would immerse yourself in a world where such tender confessions and heartfelt connections existed, only to wake and face the crushing disappointment of their impossibility.
"And," he paused for a moment, his gaze tenderly fixed on your face, "ya have the cutest smile." His voice held a mixture of adoration, as if he was genuinely captivated by the mere thought of your smile.
Your eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. A hint of incredulity coloured your voice as you responded, "Shinazugawa-san, you’re drunk."
"No," he whispered, his voice filled with conviction, as he gently brought your wrist towards his lips. The soft touch of his breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine. With a tenderness that took your breath away, he pressed his lips against the spot where your pulse beat the strongest, leaving a lingering warmth in its wake.
"I'm in love," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
Tears welled up in your eyes, brimming with a mix of overwhelming emotions. A choked sob escaped from the depths of your soul, a raw and unfiltered release of the pent-up feelings that had been hidden for far too long. It was a moment of catharsis, a floodgate opening to allow the weight of your emotions to pour forth.
Your wrist was gently pulled towards him, causing your body to sway and find its place against his sturdy chest. The warmth emanating from his body enveloped you, offering a sense of comfort and security. In the hushed stillness of the moment, his voice carried a tender whisper, as if sharing a secret meant for your ears alone.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his words mingling with the soft breeze that rustled through the garden.
As his warm breath caressed your ear, a delicate shiver coursed through your entire being, a poignant reminder of the electrifying connection that bound your souls together. Surprisingly, amidst the intoxicating moment, the lingering scent of sake was clearly absent.
With a tenderness that belied his usual demeanour, he gently peeled your face away from his chest, his hands cupping each side of your face with a feather-light touch. The pads of his thumbs daintily brushed away the remnants of tears that stained your cheeks, erasing the evidence of your vulnerability.
“So fucken’ beautiful,” he praised. Each affectionate comment washed away the doubt that plagued your overwhelming mind.
He lowered his head with utmost gentleness, his lips barely grazing your forehead in a tender kiss. As he pulled you closer, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces, you felt a sense of belonging that resonated deep within your soul.
Nestled against his solid chest, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, a rhythmic lullaby that whispered of love and devotion.
“I thought you hated me,” you quietly admitted.
"Never," he whispered, his arms enveloping you in a protective embrace. "You," his voice softened, carrying a tenderness that melted your heart, "ya have a way of charmin’ me, makin’ me speechless."
A shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he admitted, "So cute that I find myself at a loss for words sometimes.” In that moment, you realised that his silence was not a reflection of indifference or apathy, but rather a testament to the profound impact you had on him.
His admission brought a blush to your cheeks, the realisation that your presence had the power to disarm even the most guarded parts of him.
A mischievous glint danced in your eyes as you hastily pulled yourself away from his chest, creating a small gap between the two of you. Shinazugawa looked at you, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "What?" he asked, his voice filled with intrigue.
Your gaze flickered towards his lips, an undeniable longing pulsating within you. It was a desire you had kept hidden for far too long, yearning to feel the softness of his lips against every inch of your skin. With a teasing smile playing at the corners of your mouth, you raised a finger, gently tracing its tip along his plush, inviting lips.
A faint shiver ran down his spine as your touch grazed his skin, his breath catching in his throat. His eyes locked onto yours, the air around you seemed charged with an electric energy, a silent invitation hanging between you.
With a gentle yet undeniable pull, you closed the distance between you, your finger falling to your side. Your lips met his in a delicate and tender kiss, a collision of pent-up emotions and shared longing. Time seemed to stand still as the warmth of his lips pressed against yours, igniting a fire within your souls.
In that stolen moment of connection, you revelled in the softness of his kiss, the way his lips moulded perfectly against yours. It was a dance of vulnerability and desire, a silent proclamation of the love that had blossomed between you. Each brush of his lips against yours spoke volumes, conveying a depth of emotion that words could never capture.
As you finally pulled away, a soft smile played upon your lips, your eyes locked with his. The taste of his kiss still lingered upon your lips, intertwining with the warmth that filled your heart.
"Happy birthday, Sanemi," you whispered.
Sanemi's eyes softened, he reached out, gently brushing his fingers against your cheek, his touch filled with tenderness. "Thank you," he replied, his voice a gentle murmur. "You're the best gift I coulda’ received."
The garden around you, adorned with blossoming flowers, appeared even more vibrant and alive. The world seemed to celebrate your union, as if whispering its blessings upon the love that had taken root between you.
Hand in hand, you walked back towards the joyful gathering, the echoes of laughter and celebration growing louder with each step. As you returned to the festivities, your hearts entwined, you knew that this birthday would forever be etched in your memories as the start of a beautiful and transformative chapter in both your lives.
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sanemi-whore · 7 months
Text
Phantasm (Cruel World Final)
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You retire from the Demon Slayer Corps and return back home to your father. You'll never forget those you met during your time as a slayer and often send letters to them. One evening you see Genya, stating that he needs you to take care of his brother. @roaringlion @kiki17483 @stuckinthewrongworld @neji85 @nyarffeu @muichirosloveee @plvuii @annie-napier @dependsontheday @crazycatlddy @idiatism @kxthxrinx0310 @summ3rd4yz @iviyna @neji85
Part 1 | Part 2 warning: cursing, everyone hates sanemi lol, heavy ansgt themes, multiple character death, body worship, oral (m/f), creampie, cowgirl, fingering, word count: 10.823
Public Enemy #1 was what Sanemi became. In the eyes of the Hashira - even Obanai who attempted to be neutral even gave him a look of disdain. Uzui often berated him, stating that he didn’t deserve a woman like you - and Sanemi knew as such. Shinobu made it her mission while treating him to make it as painful as possible - seeing as she could be gentle when she desired.
Hell, even Tomioka gave him deeper frowns than normal and that was saying a lot. You set your mark upon the Corps and now that you were going to be leaving soon, everyone despised him for it.
Did anyone know the true meaning? No. They didn’t dare ask Sanemi. They didn’t wish to ask you, either, not wishing to see the sadness grow deeper in your eyes. What they did know was that Sanemi and your relationship had grown sour, you were leaving the Corps and the only logical person to blame was the man in the situation.
Sanemi hisses when a sharp pain swipes at his neck. It’s Hiyori - again - claws digging deep into his neck while her beak bites against his ear. This is the fifth time in the last two days she has attacked him randomly, Sorai no longer wishing to help out of fear of her attack coming to him next.
“Fuck.” Sanemi swipes at the crow to defend himself from her attack. She squeaks, eyes glaring before she flocks away. He couldn’t be upset with Hiyori - she adored you just as much as  everyone did. Even Ginko - Muichiro’s sly crow - had come to your defense. Sanemi likes to believe that the crow just desires to berate anyone that isn’t Muichiro and joins in on the torment out of boredom. 
“Serves you right.”
Uzui.
Sanemi sighs. Great, another session of the man berating him because of you. 
“I don’t have time for you right now.” Sanemi continues his stroll back to his estate. He had tatami mats to slice up to get his mind off of you.
“What’d you do to Y/N?”
Sanemi continues to walk.
“So unflashy.”
“Your lack of hand is unflashy.” Sanemi retorts.
Uzui cackles. “Yet I can keep all three of my wives. I cannot say the same for you, Shinazugawa.” Tengen trails behind the younger man who’s shoulders tense at the remark. “I’m serious now. What did you do to her?”
Sanemi stops in his tracks. He doesn’t turn to face Uzui. Even with one eye, the man knew how to see right through him.
“Did she leave yet?” 
You haven’t spoken to Sanemi in a week. His heart hurts and longs to see you, just to see that you’re alright. But he cannot be selfish enough to hold you back from what you want.
“No. She will in another week.” Sanemi exhales at the response. “You make her cry. I can never forgive you for that, Shinazugawa.”
Sanemi recalls your wet eyes as you were leaving his estate. His throat tightens.
“Y/N saw you as a savior of the sort. She spoke so highly of you - even now. I rarely see her smile and there's always a sadness behind her eyes. It outweighs Tomioka’s.”
Sanemi swallows the lump in his throat. He continues walking and this angers Uzui. “I’m talking to you!” the retired Hashira roars. “What the hell happened-”
“I took advantage of her!” Sanemi roars back, turning to face the taller man. “I took advantage of her and I can’t forgive myself.”
Uzui stops in his tracks, fuschia eyes examine Sanemi’s face. “Are you admitting to…assaulting her?” Uzui is unsure where this conversation was heading. He doesn’t want to believe that Sanemi would intentionally cause you any harm.
“Ye-”
Sanemi falls onto his back and there's a sting in his face. Even retired with one hand and eye, Uzui was just as fast and strong as ever. Sanemi holds his nose and glares at the man, liquid leaking into his palm.
Tengen steps back and admires the sight. “You have changed.” he murmurs more to himself than to Sanemi. “You’re hurting just as much as Y/N. You’re better at hiding it.” Uzui kneels down to reach eye level to Sanemi. “The Shinazugawa I know would’ve never let anyone hit him and get away with it.”
The teasing was back. Uzui was willing to hear what Sanemi had to say. “What really happened?”
Sanemi rips a piece of his haori and plugs his nose. He does speak. He explains the entirety of the mission - the demon art and how he felt, the demon that was a Lower Moon that took your shape and how you managed to defeat it effortlessly. He explained how his body felt - hot, heavy and in excruciating pain; nauseous at the forbidden sight of you. Sanemi even goes as far as to detail the internal dialogue and the flashes of delusion his mind sent as to how badly he desired to have you.
Tengen listens with wide eyes, attempting his hardest now to cackle at Sanemi’s explanation.
“What you explain to me, Shinazugawa, sounds like consensual sex.” Tengan shakes his head. Kids, he thinks, even if you and Sanemi were considered adults. Still, anyone younger than him would be kids in his eyes. “She wanted you. You wanted her. You fucked the life-” Sanemi growls, tips of his ears hot red. 
“Look,” Uzui chuckles. “That’s not assault. Did Y/N feel indifferent about it?”
Sanemi glances away with a shrug. He didn’t know how you felt.
“Did you two talk about it?”
Sanemi shakes his head.
“...What did you do?”
“Ignored her.”
Tengen groans. He wants to send another punch to Sanemi’s nose but refrains. “You take her virginity and fuck her all night while declaring to always protect her and,” Tengen raises one hand and does air quotations. “the child you were begging to fuck into her just to ignore her this whole time?”
Sanemi stiffens. When he thinks of it that way, it sounded more fucked up then he intended.
Tengen stands, shaking his head at the dumb Wind Hashira. “Unflashy of you.” he turns and begins to journey back to his own home.
Sanemi stands with a huff. His nose was broken now and the only person who could fix it was unfortunately Kocho. He journeys to the Butterfly Mansion, mind on his conversation with Uzui.
Sanemi didn’t want to leave you the morning he woke. He desired to hold you close to him, inhaling your sweet scent. But he was disgusted with himself more than anything. In his mind, he took advantage of you and your intoxicated state. There were bruises and marks littering your once perfect skin - all made by him and his savage ways. He couldn’t control himself and now you were forever tainted - he didn’t regret his night with you. He regretted how it happened.
Sanemi admitted to himself that morning that he loved you, stating it aloud while you slept soundlessly. His mind also recalls the way you also admitted to loving him during your time together, but that was during your intoxicated state of sex and the demon art. But knowing what love meant to him only meant there was a matter of time until the love he harbored would crush him. Memories of the night prior flood in and he thinks about how deep he was into the demon art that he was paralyzed right beneath a Lower Moon. What if you weren’t capable enough to stop her? It would’ve been his fault why you died - and the thought sent shivers all over his body.
It hurts Sanemi to ignore you, but he wanted you to hate him. He wanted you to eventually be so angered with him that you wouldn’t bother to care for him any longer.
But no, instead you apologized. You thanked him. You left - all because you thought you were a burden to him.
“Sit.” Shinobu is curt with her responses to Sanemi. “Oh my, your nose is broken. Who managed to get to you first?”
Sanemi doesn’t retort in the way he usually would. “Uzui.”
Shinobu giggles with satisfaction. Serves you right, she wants to say. 
Shinobu places her hands on Sanemi’s nose and jerks it harshly. Sanemi hisses, eyes snapping shut at the pressure.
“Fixed.” Shinobu sing-songs. “You’re free to go.”
Sanemi doesn’t stand, not even when Shinobu has turned to give him a look of distaste.
“Is Y/N alright?”
Shinbou’s eyebrows knit harshly. “Y/N is none of your concern!” she snaps. “Not after all you’ve done to her.”
Sanemi sighs. “She told you.” he states. “I saw her…coming here a few times. Just-”
“You don’t have the right to act concern now, Shinazugawa.” Shinobu interrupts. Sure, she doesn’t know the full story of you and Sanemi’s relationship, but she knows enough of the outcome of it. “You’ve put her through enough.”
Sanemi stands and makes his leave. Everyone loved you, as they should, but everyone hated him. He wasn’t going to get any answers from Shinobu about you and he cannot be upset about it either way.
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Y/N-san. How have you been since retiring? It gets lonely sometimes without you here but I I was told by Genya-kun to be a man. Even so, I can see that even he appears to be saddened by your loss. He doesn’t speak to me much without me talking first, but we eat together often when we can. It feels different without you here to keep the peace. I hope you’re doing good, Y/N-san, and you find the peace you deserve.
-Hoshi Shinra
You read Shinra’s message with a soft smile on your lips. You’re glad that he and Genya could get along with one another. You know just how Genya could be - similar to his brother at times. But he was a good boy, after all. 
It’s been only a month since you retired from the Corps. Retired sounds foreign to say. You haven’t been a slayer for long and you even felt ashamed to say that you’ve retired already. Those who were younger than you remained in the corps and fought while you retired; seemingly from a broken heart. You want to laugh at how weak you truly were, but you decided against it.
Returning home wasn’t what you truly wished to do. You haven‘t spoken to your father in close to two years - not even a letter. He hasn’t attempted to find you, either, and possibly assumed you were either dead or a part of someone's brothel.
The look on your fathers face upon your return was one of pure shock. He hadn’t said anything for the first few moments of seeing you. Was he happy? Angered? Relieved to see his only living child?
Your answer came when the man raised his hand to slap you - a hand you caught easily. You pushed the man away and swallow thickly. He was upset. Surely because you had gone rogue and that meant whatever money your husband had paid you for had to be returned. But, your father was never violent towards you before - the smell of alcohol laced in his breath told you that he had taken in the habit even more while you were gone. 
Your father didn’t stop, however. He was just as talkative as he once was. He yelled at you, stating that you were the reason he had gone broke. He had to work his ass off to pay off your debt to the man that you were destined to marry - that he even had to sell personal items. You shoved a few wads of cash in his face to shut him up. 
You were an adult - always had been. However, you were stronger. You trained alongside Hashira. You beheaded demons - and though you were not on the level of a Hashira, you were damn near close. The Lower Moon was nowhere near what Upper Moon Uzui, Tanjiro, Inosuke and Zenitsu fought, but it was a kizuki nonetheless. You would return home and deal with your father, but you weren’t going to tolerate disrespect.
Your father noticed the change in you. He doesn’t ask where you’ve gone for nearly two years. He knows that you’ve grown. Hair longer, body toned and strong and face stoic. You appeared to be alert at all times, even with the slightest of sounds. But, that didn’t stop his disdain for you. 
“You could’ve been set for life.” your father told you one night at dinner. He ate what you cooked with a side of alcohol - a normal set up for him. 
“Could I have? Or would you’ve been set for life without me?’ you retort, taking a bite of the chicken you prepared. Another thing your father had to grow accustomed to - your mouth. You talked back now, an act he didn’t appreciate. 
“I gave you to that man to take care of you!” your father yells, banging his hand onto the table. His breath stinks of sake. You contemplate hiding the bottle, but that would only mean he’d tear the home apart looking for it or just go buy another.
“You sold me to him.” you deadpan. You’re unsure what lie your father had told himself to make himself feel better about it, but it wasn’t the truth. He sold you to get money for himself and get rid of you. You’re back now and he hated you for it - oh well. “I paid my due to you already. Eat your food.”
“Where did you get that money?” your father hisses. The only time he’s seen so much cash upfront was from the man - and you didn’t return from him. “You decided to be an Oiran like I said?” your father scoffs with a shake of his head. 
Your appetite is lost now. You gather the dishes and begin to wash them, deciding that ignoring your father was for the best. But that didn’t mean your father was done. He continues, carrying on how you cost him a lot of money and you being back was a slap to the face. You pondered if retiring was even worth it if it meant you had to deal with him on the daily. You cooked for him on the daily, made sure the home was clean and even bought whatever was needed for the home - and still, he hated you. It was as though your existence here was causing him such anger.
Genya, I’m glad to hear from you. I’ve heard from Shinra that you’ve been eating together! I’m glad you and he are building a friendship! I hope you’re eating well and staying healthy. 
Please, stay safe.
-Y/N
You folded Genya’s letter and placed it inside a small envelope. You had several letters to go through, even some from those you weren’t expecting. You opened an envelope and were surprised to find several leaves, acorns, seeds and even rocks. The next envelope was from Tanjiro who apologized for the mess caused by Inosuke. Apparently the boy wanted to gift you something after Tanjiro explained that he would be writing you a letter - it warmed your heart knowing that even Inosuke was a part of your penpal group.
The next letter was a surprise, signed by several lower-rank slayers. It caused you to laugh upon reading it, catching you completely off guard. It detailed how Sanemi had turned sour once more and that he was utterly murderous. It continued saying that they wish you were there to calm him down with whatever “miracle” tea you made him while in Asakusa. In the end, they wished you the best on retirement, warming your heart even more.
Y/N, I hope you’re well. Sumi, Naho and Kiyo miss you and though she won’t admit it, so does Aoi. It feels different without you here. Shinazugawa still gets attacked randomly by Hiyori and now even Sorai is too frightened to help! I know you wish to not speak of him, but he asks about you constantly. I have not told him anything, do not worry! I’ve attached some medicine to this letter that would help ease the morning sickness - please take it daily. Please keep yourself in good health; not only for you, but for the baby.
-Kocho Shinobu
Shinobu was sent from heaven, you’re convinced. It was only a few days ago that you spoke of your nausea daily in a letter - even when it stretched far from the morning. It was difficult keeping any food down and water appeared to be the only thing that didn’t mess with your stomach. The medicine she gave appeared to be enough to last a month or two.
You laid a hand on your stomach and sighed. You weren’t far along, only in your fourth month. You thought you appeared bigger than normal, but maybe it was just your head doing things to you,
Your mind flickers to the same day you found out about said pregnancy and how you spoke with shinobu. She had assured that it would be painless - and you believed her. She made you a drink and handed it to you with a warm look in her eyes.
You recall the way you smelt it before attempting to drink. Your hands were trembling and as you brought it to your lips, you felt just how wet your cheeks were.
You couldn’t do it.
Shinobu had consoled you for what appeared to be hours. You apologized profusely to her, stating that you were doing nothing but wasting her time. She assured you that you weren’t, that you were going through something normal. She never onced judged you - and for that you were thankful. She had kept your secret and allowed you to leave the Corps with whatever dignity you had left.
Your father, on the other hand, was another story. Upon returning home with a flat stomach, he was beginning to think he was seeing things when your stomach began to grow. Your kimono couldn’t have been that big and your weight didn’t change elsewhere but your stomach. “That’s why you returned home.” he spat once he realized just what was the issue with you. “Because whatever man that did this to you had left you! It’s what you deserve for leaving.”
It’s what you deserved, his words rang in your ear.
Once all of your letters were written, you pushed yourself away from your desk and stood. You were trying to make it a habit to walk. You didn’t feel different now early on in your pregnancy, but you didn’t want anything to change as you grew closer to when you were expected. 
You strolled out of your home, finding the sun to be high in the sky. Your father would be at the pub right about now, not that you cared where he spent his time. 
There’s a light breeze, you note, as you walk. It isn’t a warm breeze that causes your skin to crawl with such heat, but a nice one that causes you to sigh in relief. 
“I hope it’s a girl!”
You turn to the sound of the sudden voice. You were strolling for about ten minutes, not far from your home. You thought you were alone - a village is not far from here, but usually people didn’t tend to walk down this path often.
Your eyes catch a child - a small girl. Her eyes are large and blue and she’s smiling at you. Her hair is black and tied in a low bun. Her kimono was long and red and her obi was orange.
“Ah, hello.” you offer her your own smile. She’s cute, so small and innocent.  “I never thought about gender much.”
You’re unaware she could see your bump through your kimono.
The girl crosses her arms. “I hope it’s a girl.” she repeats. “There’s a lot of boys in my family. I only have one sister.” she has a look of disdain on her face.
You giggle. “Is that so? But don’t you love them?”
The girl seems to ponder on your question before nodding. 
“Then it’s alright, isn’t it?” you question. 
The girl slowly nods. “I guess so.” she murmurs. “I remember when my baby brother was born!”
“Is that so?” you ask. 
The girl begins to walk besides you as she speaks, never focusing on just one topic and instead jumping between a few of them.  You listen to what she has to say, unphased to be speaking to a child. You assumed she lived nearby and her brothers were in the village where the majority of the shops were at. She spoke fondly of them and this causes your heart to swell. You missed your own brother at times.
“Would you like something…to drink…?” your eyes scan the surrounding area for the little girl who was just talking your ear off to find her gone. You hum. She must’ve ran off somewhere. You only hope she would find her siblings before the sun set.
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“Must you cut yourself so deep?” you sigh, dousing the ointment across his open wound. “Surely any amount of blood could intoxicate the demons.”
The mission was done, leaving Sanemi a bloody mess before you. You learn to pack a small kit for this moment after the first time he cut himself in front of you to distract a demon.
Sanemi snickers. “I get carried away sometimes.”
You knit your brows, glancing into his eyes. He’s already watching you, and noticing your eyes meet, he glances away.
“It doesn’t really hurt anymore.” Sanemi continues just as you apply the bandage over the wound. “I’ve got enough scars to prove that I’ve been doing this for a while.”
You nod at his words, your eyes scanning the amount of scars littering his skin. It covers his entire torso, back and arms. Some appear to be fresh while others old and forming into new skin on top. 
“Do they bother you?”
Sanemi’s question catches you by surprise. You shake your head, hoping he didn’t think you were insulting his appearance. “I think they’re interesting.”
Sanemi hums. 
Sanemi’s not entirely convinced. 
“Each scar has a story to it.” you say. You lean back to give the man a smile. “It shows just how strong you are.”
You pat a scar on his chest gently and Sanemi feels himself grow hot. He turns his eyes back to you, finding that you weren’t lying. Your eyes show just how sincere you were being with him. 
“Children often run from me.” Sanemi tries to joke with you to lighten the mood, but he curses himself mentally at the look in your eyes. 
“Maybe you should smile more.” you offer and this causes Sanemi to scoff aloud. “I’m serious! You look terrifying to others when you’re upset.”
“Not to you.” Sanemi states. He didn’t care what other people thought of him. You were different. Your opinion of him mattered.
“Of course not.” you grin. “You’re nice to me.”
Sanemi swallows.
“Let’s try to smile without appearing menacing.” you suggest. Your hands touch his face and Sanemi feels the familiar jolt in his heart. Your hands are soft and you come even closer, your scent surrounds his nostrils. 
You’ve grown used to being able to touch him without a care and Sanemi never pushes you away. 
Your fingers lift his cheeks up and you begin to giggle at how unnatural he appeared. Sanemi concludes that he likes the way your laughter sounds.
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The mysterious little girl had returned countless times over the course of three months - this time however with another girl nearly identical to her. Her black hair is tied in a bow in the back of her hair. Her kimono is a minty green with a lime green obi. Her eyes are just as blue as her sisters and you can’t help but giggle at the two of them.
“What do you wish to have, Y/N-san?” they had asked you. “Have you thought of any names?”
You were unsure yourself. You often think of the baby's gender and what you’d name them in the middle of the night when you’re supposed to be sleeping. You wondered if they would have Sanemi’s hair color and eyes or would they take after you. Maybe a complete half of the both of you? You find yourself wishing that the baby would have something of their father, hair, eyes - anything.
“I have thought of no names yet.” you answer truthfully. “I just want them to be strong and healthy.”
“Like their dad?”
You’re taken aback by the statement Slowly, you nod. “Y-Yes. He was…is a very strong man.” you say to them. 
You swallow. You pondered how Sanemi was doing. You have not asked when you write to anyone and they rarely bring him up. You haven’t received any letters so far, but you concluded that they were busy and whenever they were available, they would. 
Still, you harbored no bad feelings for Sanemi. In the end, he was the father of your unborn child, nonetheless, and even if things turned sour, you held him in great respect. It would be difficult to explain to a child why they had no father, but you had years to prepare for that conversation. 
“Do you miss him, Y/N-san?” two pairs of cerulean eyes are watching you and slowly, you nod your head. “Go see him, Y/N-san! I know he misses you, too!”
You giggle at the two girls. They were young. Life was more complicated than what their young minds could comprehend. “Wait here.” you tell them. Your child was kicking on your bladder and you had to once again, relieve yourself.
But the children were gone by the time you returned, but you’ve grown used to the way they’d disappear randomly just to reappear once more. You would leave little treats and candies for them that they never touched - maybe they didn’t like sweets? You never met a kid who didn’t, but eventually you’d learn what they like.
You closed your eyes and inhaled. You swayed back and forth slightly as you sat upon the hardwood floor of the outside deck. The sun felt nice against your skin.
“Y/N…?”
Your eyes flash open at the familiar voice. Your heart pumps.
“Genya?”
Genya was before you. His eyes appear confused. 
“Genya!” you lift yourself from the ground steadily and make your way to the boy standing a few feet away. His eyes are wide as he watches you. “How did you know where to find me? How-”
“You can see me?” Genya asks suddenly and you stop in your tracks. Your smile turns to a frown and now you’re tilting your head. 
“Genya, of course I can see you.” you try to laugh, but nothing you’re saying or doing to ease the situation is doing anything. “Genya,” you shake your head. This had to be a dream of the sort. 
“Y/N, you’re…” Genya swallows thickly with a shake of his head. “There’s a reason why I’m here. You…you’re pregnant.”
Nothing was making sense to you. What was Genya talking about?
“Brother!”
The familiar voices of the two young girls. They come besides you, one at each side. 
“I hope YN-san has a girl! Don’t you think we need more girls in the family?” the one with the red kimono speaks. 
“Yes! I hope she looks just like me.” the one with the minty kimono retorts.
Your blood runs cold. Your eyes widen and now you understand just what’s happening.
“Y/N!” Genya calls for you.
You’ve fallen to your knees, the tears flowing down your face. You’re trembling. 
“Genya…you…you’re..?”
You don’t want the words to leave your lips.
“Yes.”
You sob a little louder. Your heart is pounding outside your chest. 
“Sumi…Teiko…” Genya murmurs. 
“Please don’t cry, Y/N-san.” Sumi says. 
“What happened, Genya? How have you…?” you’re unable to stop the tears from falling. “W-Who else…?”
Genya doesn’t want you to be in pain. He’s unsure what to do or why he’s here - how you can see and speak to not only him, but Sumi and Teiko.
“Don’t cry, Y/N. W-We won.” Genya attempts to lift your mood, but he knows it's useless. “Muzan…muzan is dead.”
You want to scoff at his words.
Because yes, Muzan was dead by what Genya has said.
But at what cause? How many young, innocent lives had been taken during the process? Genya was just the only life gone that you could see.  Has Tanjiro survived along with Zenitsu and Inosuke? Did they manage to turn Nezuko back into a human - the young sweet girl with such kind eyes tugging at your heart strings. Sumire…Roshi…Shinra. Your blood runs cold when your mind wanders to Sanemi.
Genya answers you and you feel as though your heart would give out at any moment. Nearly everyone you have grown to love has sacrificed themselves to stop Muzan. You feel selfish for retiring the way you had. You should’ve fought alongside them. Maybe then-
“Stop blaming yourself, Y/N.” Genya tells you. He can sense the guilt throughout you. “Please don’t think about what could have been.”
“Genya…”
“Think about now.” Genya says, his head motioning to your stomach. “No one blames you for retiring.”
You shake your head. 
“Please calm down, Y/N-san.” Teiko murmurs, her eyes sad at the sight of you. 
“Please, Y/N.” Genya begins. “I-I don’t know what my Aniki did to you but…” he swallows. He feels selfish for even thinking about this. You deserved to feel whatever you felt towards his brother. “...please…don’t hate him. Can you find it in your heart to forgive him?”
Genya’s eyes are hopeful as he looks into your tearful ones. You swallow thickly. You were never upset with Sanemi - you’d forgiven him long ago.
“I-I…” your cheeks are tear stained as your mind attempts to gather all the information given to you. “I have to go.”
Your legs are trembling as you stand. Teiko and Sumi - finally learning the girls' names - are by your side. 
“Y/N, please. You aren’t in the position to go anywhere.” Genya is nervously walking behind you. He is still unsure why he was here. He understands that he had died during the battle, but he recalls reuniting with his younger siblings - then he was here before you. 
“I have to see them.” you’re scurrying around in your home. Your father was nowhere in sight and you’re glad that he wasn’t. You would appear to be talking to yourself.
Genya only shakes his head. You were stubborn and he now understands why his brother loved you as much as he did.
“Okay. I’ll accompany you.” It wasn’t like he had anything else to do. Moving on into the afterlife appeared to be much more difficult then he ever thought it would be. 
Genya watches as you pack a light bag. He finds his eyes wandering to your small bump and he feels warmth - was it possible for him to feel this way while deceased? He’s unsure truly and doesn’t want to question it any longer. 
“Are you sure you want to travel now, Y/N?” Genya questions once you are done. Teiko and Sumi are both by your side again, large eyes so soft and caring for the woman that was you. “I don’t want you to be in harm's way.”
You want to reach out for Genya and touch him, but you’re unsure if it is possible. You never thought to try, either, not sure how you’d react if your hand didn’t get to touch him. “Yes.” you nod. “After all, you guys won.”
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Your mind is unsure how long Sanemi and you had gone round for round - but you’re certain that you cannot get enough. You’ve never pleasured a man before - not until now. But Sanemi wasn’t just any man - he was the man you’ve grown to love. You accepted it now more than ever.
“Y-You don’t have-” Sanemi throws his head back. He’s sweaty, chest rising and falling as he pants. Your lips wrap around the tip of his cock, warm tongue licking gently on the sensitive tip.
Sanemi hisses even more at the feeling of your tongue. He opens his eyes to glance at you and is positive that one day, you’d be the death of him. Not a demon or anything else - but you. 
You looked so beautiful to Sanemi, equally as sweaty with hair sticking to your forehead. Such innocent eyes looking up at him for approval while your mouth sucked him with all the might you could muster. 
Your hand wraps around the length of his cock and pumps while you focus on sucking the tip. You weren’t sure if you were doing this right, however Sanemi’s moaning. Nor does he appear to be bored or upset by your actions, so you’ll assume that he was enjoying himself.
“S-Stop!” Sanemi jerks, feeling himself ready to cum - as embarrassing as it was. It hasn’t even been five minutes. 
But you don’t, enjoying the flushed look on Sanemi’s cheeks. You go as far as your mouth would allow, feeling the tip of him hit your throat. You begin to gag, feeling your throat clog up, but you don’t stop. Sanemi’s moans edge you on and your legs clench together, enjoying the way you were making him feel. 
Your head bobs up and down, suckling. The sounds of your sucking mixed with low curses and grunts from Sanemi echo off the room. The sight is as filthy as it comes, but neither of you cared. 
You release Sanemi’s cock from your mouth with a pop, a string of saliva connecting from your lip to the tip of it. Sanemi twitches slightly, finally able to calm down - but still, you had other plans. You allowed Sanemi to take control for hours, now it was your turn to pleasure him.
Sanemi’s eyes snap open when you sit upon his lap. You give him a cute smile that melts his heart.
“I’m not really sure how good I’ll be.” you tell him, leaning down to peck his lips.
Sanemi grunts into the kiss. He positions himself at your entrance. “You’ll be amazing,” he responds.
You sit fully onto Sanemi’s cock, hands placing themselves on his bare shoulders. You shudder, the familiar pleasure coming back to you. 
Sanemi watches between hooded eyes as you begin to move your hips, his hands placing themselves permanently onto your hips. You’d do amazing, he told you, and amazing you did. You started off stiff, unsure of what to do, but after a few moments you got the hang of it. You lifted your hips and brought them back down at a steady pace. 
Sanemi finds it hard to focus on just one thing. Your breasts are bouncing for him to see and for a moment, he’s mesmerized. Then his eyes catch the sight of your pussy - wet and dripping with slick all over him. You’re clenched onto him so tight that he’s sure he wouldn’t last long in this position, either. 
Sanemi decides that your face is where he wants to settle his eyes. He could never get tired of calling you beautiful. Your face contorts with pleasure, mouth panting as you pleasured yourself upon him. Your eyes are fluttering, fighting to remain close or to open.
Lilac eyes meet yours when you do open them. You feel hot with humiliation having Sanemi see you lost in the moment. His fingernails dig into the skin of your hips when he notices your back from your high. 
“I love you, Nemi.” you murmur, unsure what in the world you were going through that made you confess such words suddenly. It causes Sanemi to stiffen at the confession. But you don’t notice, far too entranced with pleasure to care. You lean down and kiss his lips.
“Say it again.” Sanemi buckles his hips forward, thrusting into you at an alarming speed. 
Sanemi pushes himself forward, wrapping his arms around you to bring you even closer to him. He doesn’t want you to leave his arms - not now. He brings you onto your back, hovering above you. “Say it again.” he repeats, thrusting deeply inside of you. 
“I love you, Nemi!” you exclaim. The familiar churning in your stomach is coming back, and with the clenching you’re doing on his cock, you’re positive that you were going to cum once more.
“Again.” Sanemi holds you tighter. He never wants this moment to end - the intimacy the two of you shared at this moment is the most alive he’s ever felt. 
“I…I…” you’re cumming, eyes rolling to the back of your head. But Sanemi doesn’t stop, not until he's assured that he came deep inside of you, your words replaying over and over again in his mind. 
I love you, Nemi.
I love you, Nemi.
I love you.
Sanemi’s cumming, his eyes fluttering close. He places his head at the nape of your neck and he’s pampering kisses. He doesn’t move, not until he’s cum deep and he finds himself softening slowly - for the time being.
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“Tanjiro…” you murmured, feeling relief wash over you upon seeing the boy.
 Your eyes scanned the room as you did so, finding Uzui with Hinatsuru, Suma and Makio. You take notice that Rengoku’s father is here along with his younger brother, the resemblance is quite uncanny. Zenitsu appears to be in and out of sleep while Nezuko is seated beside her brother. It tugs at your heartstrings noticing that she no longer appeared like her demon self.
“Y/N-san!” Tanjiro's eyes widen at your sudden appearance. “Hello.”
You feel a mountain of eyes upon you - or more so on your stomach. Genya is beside you, watching as a few gasps are heard. “Act like they have never seen a pregnant woman before.” he grumbles and you can only silently giggle. 
“I’m glad you all are safe.” you feel teary eyed at your words. You hadn’t gotten the chance to say a proper goodbye to Shinobu or Mitsuri, only your letters. You pondered if they received them before their battle. As you watch Tanjiro lay upon the bed, you’re yet again reminded of the many young lives that suffered…Sumire…Roshi…Muichiro.
“Ah, Y/N!”
Genya is startled by the sudden call of your name behind them. In the doorway is Shinra and he’s panting. He’s covered in bandages from head to toe and even has a limp as he strolls. “Shinra…” he murmurs. “...you did survive.”
“Shinra!” you wanted to engulf him in a hug but stopped yourself. He looked seconds away from dropping. “I’m so glad you’re safe. You must’ve fought hard.”
“A little too hard.” Shinra jokes, chuckling to himself. He then winces, now remembering why he refrained from laughing. Or speaking. Or anything besides breathing.
“Y/N!” Suma is the first of the group to react to you. She runs to you and engulfs you in a tight hug. She’s sobbing as she speaks. “You’re here! You’re pregnant! You have such a lovely glow to you-”
Makio punches Suma in the head, eyes glaring at the girl. “Stop yelling!” she hisses. “You’re going to crush her! Can’t you see she’s fragile?!”
Tengan sighs but he can’t help but smile. It felt whole in a way, almost as if you never left. Suma was right, however. You had the pregnancy glow to you. Your skin appeared to be blemish free and hydrated, your smile reached your eyes and your bump was round and healthy.
“Where is Giyuu-san? I haven’t had the chance to see him.” you say aloud. You want to ask for Sanemi, as well, but you chose not to.
“They should be finishing with the meeting soon.” Tengan strolls towards you. He has a grin on his lips and he gently pats your head. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“You, as well, Uzui-san.” you say. You place a hand upon your stomach and hum.
“Hey!”
It’s Inosuke. He’s come from behind Shinra, shoving his way in. Shinra hisses as he’s set to the nearest wall by the boy. Inosuke isn’t wearing his boar mask as he looks at you. 
“Inosuke. Hello.” you say, glad to see the young boy seemingly well. “I’m glad to see you’re safe. You are King of the Mountains, after all.”
Uzui scoffs with a roll of his eyes. 
“You’ve been well, too!” Inosuke’s voice is gruff as he speaks. “Since you’ve gotten fat. You must’ve been eating really well!”
“You imbecile!” Shinra wails, eyes glaring at Inosuke.
Tengan sends a fist upon Inosuke’s head. “She’s not fat, you idiot!”
You’re laughing at the sight. “It’s okay.” you assure them, understanding that Inosuke meant no harm. “He’s probably never seen a pregnant person before.”
Inosuke refrains from attacking Uzui like he wants to. “What’s that?” he asks, his head turning to Tanjiro.
Tanjiro chuckles slightly, a red tint on his face. He always has to explain things to Inosuke in more animalistic terms. “Y/N-san has mated with someone. That’s why her stomach has gotten a little bigger.”
Inosuke hums, eyes turning back to you. He tilts his head with a nod, now understanding.
“Stupid idiotic boar.” Genya hisses. 
“It’s so good to see you, Y/N.” Hinatsuru waves with a kind smile. “Please come visit us before you leave.”
You nod. “I will. I promise.” you assure. “I’m going to go find Giyuu-san.”
Tengan follows you out. He only allows you to go down the hall before he calls for you. “And what about Shinazugawa?”
Genya turns his head, as do you.
“Are you planning on seeing him, as well? I know he’s been…” Tengan trails his words off, hoping that you’d understand where he was going with this. 
“I will be seeing Sanemi, as well.” you nod. 
Tengan allows himself to watch you as you walk away, turning out of sight. He inhales once more, this time wishing that the former Wind Hashira would admit the way he feels. Not just for your or his sake, but for the sake of the unborn child.
Giyuu is the first one you find. He’s already walking your way when you happen to see him. “You cut your hair, Giyuu-san!” you say, waving his way.
Giyuu appears to be shocked at your presence before him, but he manages to not have his eyes linger on your obvious pregnant belly. He offers a small grin your way with a nod. 
“It’s good to see that you’re alive.” you murmur to him, taking in his appearance. You notice that his right arm has seemingly been lost during battle and again, you feel yourself grow with guilt.
“You, as well.” Giyuu responds. “Congratulations.”
You grow hot and nod your thanks. You allow Giyuu to pass you, Genya furrowing his brows at the man. He was never one to speak much and oftentimes you found yourself talking to him, wondering if he was ever telling you to shut up mentally. 
“You think Aniki would be at his estate?” 
“I’m not sure.” you murmur. You place a hand onto your stomach, the baby is seemingly moving. “You must be excited.” you say, laughing to yourself. 
You’re nervous and that part is obvious. You wanted to see Sanemi, yes. Your heart is full knowing that he managed to survive. You don’t know how you’d react when your eyes meet his for the first time in months - you hope you wouldn't cry. 
The journey to Sanemi’s home is rather quick. Maybe you were walking fast to get it over with - pay your respect and leave. You found yourself outside the familiar shoji doors, contemplating if sending a letter was more appropriate then coming up unannounced.
“Go.” Genya speaks. “I’ll stay behind so you can have a level of privacy.”
Genya disappears - the first time since you first saw him days ago. You gulp, hands feeling sweaty.
You lightly tap the shoji doors before sliding them open. The home is quiet and appears the same as when you left months prior. You remove your shoes and continue into the home, heart quickening.
You find yourself holding your breath when you see him. He’s seated on the hardwood floor in the sitting area, in his hands the rhinoceros beetle he claimed as a pet. He’s feeding it some fruit you note, watching intently. 
“Sanemi.” your voice is low and barely audible, but Sanemi is alert. His head snaps in the direction of your voice and he noticeably gasps. 
Sanemi blinks once, then twice - you were here. You weren’t a fragment of his imagination like he initially thought. Through the months his mind could still hear your voice as if you never left. He was sure he’s gone insane sometimes when he’d awake and swear his ears pick up on you cooking, low hums coming from your lips. 
You feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze. You’re considering you coming to see Sanemi was a mistake, unsure if he truly wished to see you.
“I-I’m sorry.” you murmur. You blink away, unsure as to why you were truly apologizing for - maybe for coming unannounced after all these months. 
Sanemi places the beetle back into the wooden cage and places it beside him. He lifts himself up onto his feet and makes his way to you. He’s quick, placing both calloused hands on your cheek. His left thumb rubs your cheek gently, enjoying the feeling of getting to touch you after so long. Your eyes catch the bandage wrapped around his right hand and you frown deep. “Your hand…” you murmur, your own softer hands wrapping around the bandage. You notice he’s missing his index and middle finger. 
Sanemi doesn’t care about his injuries. He’s far too enthralled that you’re in front of him. He takes a step back, eyes going lower to your stomach.
You swallow, breath hitching. You feel uneasy with his gaze. His face was stoic, unable to read just what his thoughts were. You feel a few kicks from the baby and you’re sure they were just as uneasy at this moment.
“Sanemi?”
You break the silence after around 5 minutes of Sanemi’s staring. His head snaps to you. “You’re pregnant.” he states the obvious. 
“Yes.” you nod. 
Sanemi is silent once more and again, the silence is killing you. You’re unsure of what he’s feeling - if he was feeling anything at all. 
Sanemi glances away from you. His heart is jolting once more, but now with sorrow. He’s lost you for good, he thinks, and now he wants nothing more than for the world to swallow him whole. 
“You’ve found a husband?” Sanemi asks but he doesn’t truly want to know. The thought of someone else getting to have you causes his heart to feel sad, sorrow erupting through him. He can never blame you for finding love elsewhere, it’s what you deserved.
“Aniki’s an idiot.” Genya groans. You flinch at the sudden sound of Genya who is standing behind his brother. Your brows furrow at the boy who raises his hands. “I’ll take my leave now.” he states and again, disappears once more. 
You take another deep breath and shake your head. “No.” you murmur. “The baby is yours.”
Sanemi was sure he’d have whiplash the way his head snaps back to you. His eyes are wide with realization - how big your stomach was, the child growing in you; his child. 
You’re shocked when Sanemi suddenly falls to his knees. His hands are on the ground while his head is hung low. He’s trembling, you note, and you’re confused about what's happening. 
“S-Sanemi, I-” Did you anger him? You’re unsure what to do - should you leave? 
You got your answer on what Sanemi was doing when your ears pick up on low sobs. You kneel down in front of him, eyes noticing droplets on the hardwood floor. You stand straighter and gulp.
Sanemi was crying.
You’ve never seen Sanemi cry. He was always a strong person, showing little emotion. Others once cower at the sight of him, tip-toeing around him to not anger the man. He was always different around you - smiling, often joking and never lashing out at you.
But crying - Sanemi never cried.
“Nemi…?” you place a hand on top of his hand, fingers gently rubbing the white tresses. 
Sanemi lifts himself up to look at you, tears staining his cheeks. He moves fast, arms wrapping around you. His head lays upon your bump and wants to cry even harder when he feels soft kicks.
“Please forgive me, Y/N.” Sanemi’s begging now, His tears don’t stop and he doesn’t let you go. He never wants to, afraid that if he does you’ll leave him once more. 
“Nemi,” you murmur. Your heart swells at the sight of him and you want to laugh at the situation. “I’m not upset with you.”
“You should hate me.” Sanemi murmurs, lifting his face from your bump to look at you. “I took advantage of you.” He left you to fend for yourself, pregnant and all. He shouldn’t feel as if it was completely his fault - he had no idea you were pregnant and if he had, he would have never allowed you to leave. However, he cannot help how he feels. 
“You didn’t take advantage of me, Nemi.” you play your hand - so soft, Sanemi thinks -  against his cheek. “I said I loved you, didn’t I?”
Sanemi’s throat tightens and again - as pathetic he’s sure he looks - he feels himself crying. His heart jolts and for the first time in months, he feels happy. Watching Genya die before his eyes while claiming that he always protected him had shot a hole through his heart. It’s a feeling that would never go away, but having you back before him pregnant with his child was the feeling he needed to feel whole again. 
“Thank you.” Sanemi murmurs, arms unwrapping just for his hands to place upon your stomach. 
“I didn’t do anything.” you giggle.
Sanemi shakes his head. You’ve done a lot. You weren’t upset with him for how he treated you after the two of you were intimate. You decided to come back from your home, pregnant and not far from giving birth he’s sure. You were a gift he wasn’t sure he deserved - you and his child.
“Stand up.” you tell Sanemi and he does what he’s told. “Stop crying, Nemi. It’s okay.” you offer a smile.
Sanemi’s heart jolts again. 
You’re as beautiful as you always were and now you’re glowing. 
Sanemi wants to cry yet again.
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Sanemi can never keep his hands off of your stomach. He always has to hold it - while the both of you sleep. While you both sat and ate. Any reason he could to hold you bump, he would and you couldn’t be upset about it. He even would place his ear against your stomach - mostly as you slept - to hear the heartbeat of his child and yours. It brought him ease, assuring that the both of you were safe. 
Sanemi was more fascinated with the sudden kicks. He recalls many years ago when his mother fell pregnant for the first time with Genya and how intrigued he was at her size - and when he noticed her stomach moving at an alarming rate. Then she fell pregnant again, again and again until his youngest brother was born.
Sanemi was nervous about traveling back to your home and leaving his estate for good. Now that the Demon Slayer Corps was disbanded for good, he had no reason to stay - “only if you want”, was Kiriya’s words. And he was until you had come to him. Now, you had made plans on going home and home meant where your father resided. He had never met your father and truly had no plans to, but by what you have told him, he was not a man Sanemi would like. He wouldn't want you or his child to be disrespected by the likes of him.
You were now 8 months and so close to giving birth that Sanemi often walked on egg shells. He never wanted to leave your sight in case it happened suddenly. Not only that, but he missed the majority of your pregnancy that he didn’t wish to not be at your side for whatever you needed - stomach rubs, random cravings in the middle of the day or night. He would massage you - especially your feet that had since swollen up due to your pregnancy. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. 
You have been spoiled since you returned and couldn’t be more grateful and happier. Tengan has bought a mountain of clothing items for both you and the baby, claiming that it would be the most flamboyant child around - after his own, of course. Suma, Hinatsuru and Makio were always around, dousing you with compliments and gushing over your growing bump.
Inosuke was still curious about your stomach, but understood you weren’t fat. He’d still gift you leaves and other things he could find and become one of your eating buddies, even eating food from your plate. Tanjiro had scolded him but you assure that it was alright.
Shinra was recovering and now could move freely without a mountain of cast and bandages. You were glad the boy survived, truly. He had grown slightly from the frightened little boy of Final Selection. Upon learning that he had no family left to go to, you had offered for him to stay with you - much to Sanemi’s dismay. However, if he didn’t want to admit it, Shinra was much like his own brother. Genya and he were the same age, often having similar outbursts and interests. Plus he couldn’t be upset that you’ve grown an older sibling-like bond to the boy. It was one of the many reasons why he loved you.
“Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you?” Sanemi has a look of confusion on his face as he awaits your answer.
Sanemi thought you were beautiful now more than ever. You were carrying his child, after all, putting your body at risk for him and the child you shared. It makes the man angered at himself for having you think that he wouldn’t find you attractive.
Maybe it was because he hasn’t attempted to touch you - which it isn't like he didn’t want to. He finds himself wanting to be inside you all the time but he stops himself from trying and would rather jack it off in the bathroom. You had just returned and he was sure the last thing you wanted to do was be intimate with him, and so he waited for you to initiate it.
However, then you asked him now as the both of you laid in bed, a calloused hand rubbing your stomach if he found you unattractive due to your appearance.
“I’m kinda fat right now and-”
“Did that boar call you fat, again?” Sanemi hisses, eyes glaring. He wanted to castrate Inosuke when he found out he said it the first time but refrained because of you.
You roll your eyes. “No. It’s how I feel.” you tell him. “You don’t attempt to touch me. I don’t think you find me as attractive as before.”
Sanemi sighs. He wants to laugh because damn, you had no idea how he truly desired to have you. He doesn’t want to hurt you is another reason why he stops himself - the fear of leaving your perfect skin with bruises and marks. That, and if anything happened to his child or you during the act, he would never forgive himself.
“You can sit on my face?” Sanemi offers suddenly, far too excited that you’re gasping.
“No!” you exclaim, growing hot at his sudden words. 
“Why not?” Sanemi questions, feeling disappointed.
“I-I’m too big to be sitting on you, Nemi!” you roll your eyes but manage to giggle. 
“No you aren’t.” Sanemi assures. “Have you forgotten what I was prior? Have I grown soft?” he’s teasing you not, but he peppers kissing onto your cheek, trailing down to your jaw to your neck. His hand slides up to cup your breast and you find yourself moaning at the sensation.
Sanemi didn’t care about himself and his own pleasure. He found pleasure in your own. You were sensitive, far more than ever. Your breast had grown due to the pregnancy and Sanemi was but a man, diving right into them, rubbing and suckling on the sensitive nipple. 
You’re a moaning and gasping mess. You hadn’t realized just how much you missed Sanemi’s hands upon you. It was different from your time with him in Shinjuku, of course. He and you weren’t under a demon art - even though you couldn’t completely blame the mark. Now, however, Sanemi was sane and attentive, purely focusing on worshiping you.
You’re unsure when Sanemi had managed to strip you of your underwear but in a matter of seconds you’re bare to him, a humiliating feeling washing over you when you feel his lips upon your thighs.
“Nemi…”
Sanemi grunts a response, kissing until he finds your wet lips. He quickly pecks them before his tongue lapse between your folds. He keeps you in a firm hold as you’re squirming. He doesn’t hold back in pleasuring you, enjoying the sounds of your sweet moans.
Sanemi’s tongue is flat as he bobs his head back and forth, determined to make you cum. Once he realizes you’ve begun to relax in his hold, his left hand add’s two fingers inside of you and pumps.
Your back arches, a slew of moans, grunts and gasps releasing from your lips. Your walls clench around his fingers, thighs trembling at the pleasure. You weren’t aware how much you truly missed Sanemi, even outside of intimacy. You were only intimate with him one time (for hours on end) and even then, waking up alone without his warmth felt lonely. Now you can wake up to him besides you, hand onto your stomach. It felt nice - almost as if you never left to begin with.
Sanemi’s fingers curl inside of you, pumping a little faster. He muffles against your clit when he feels your hands in his hair. His pants were feeling tight, cock twitching.
You begin to grind against his tongue and Sanemi encourages it. He removes his fingers from inside of you to now grip your thighs to give you more access to do so.
“Please, Nemi…” you groan, licking your lips. You were now clenching around nothing. “...I need you.”
Sanemi lifts from between your legs, licking your sweet slick from his lips. He looks at your face to find you already looking at him through hooded eyes.
Sanemi could never deny you - not now especially. He knows what you want and he’s quick to undress himself. He’s hesitant slightly, not wanting to ever harm you. He lays beside you and offers a quick peck onto your cheek before gently pushing you onto your side. He wanted you to be comfortable.
Sanemi lifts your leg, making sure he held it up for you so you didn’t have to. He centers himself at your entrance and shudders, the familiar warmth and wetness brings back the memories of when he first had you.
You’re clamping around Sanemi as he enters you slowly. His breath tickles your neck where he’s kissing lovingly. Sanemi’s slow with his thrusts, but it feels good nonetheless. He never knew sex could be just as amazing when he wasn’t being rough, but he noted that it was better because it was with someone he loved.
“It’s okay to go faster.” you moan. Your hand wraps around his wrist for comfort. “You won’t be hurting me.”
Sanemi grunts. He does what you ask, picking up his pace only slightly. Your juices are coating his cock, pussy clenching so heavenly around him that he catches himself fluttering his eyes closed. He inhales your familiar scent - the same scent that has since plagued his home. His heart no longer feels lonely, yearning for a lost love.
“I love you.” Sanemi murmurs, the confession causing his cheeks to flush red. He hasn’t told you explicitly like this before, only while you slept your exhaustion off in Shinjuku. His hand allows your leg to drop, sliding up your thigh to your stomach. “Thank you.” he groans, his thrusts becoming sloppy.
Sanemi was going to come and you know this. You wanted to ask what in the world he was thanking you for, but you had a clue. Random times Sanemi would thank you - “thank you for coming back to me”, “ thank you for carrying my child”, “thank you for loving me”.
Sanemi’s confession to loving you, however, was what made you cum and your words repeating his own was what made him.
A rare sight to see truly - Shinazugawa Sanemi was crying. Weeping at the sight of his child, cheeks flushed and puffy. The girls of the butterfly mansion were the first to be dumbfounded by the sight, gasping at the tall, scarred man with bulging muscles. The same man who would slam the door open and demanded to be treated, uncaring if they were busy or not. Now this same man held such a small infant in his arms, so close to his chest afraid to let go. 
You were brought into the Butterfly Mansion by Shinra one evening while Sanemi had been out gathering the food you were craving. You were stunned when not ten minutes later your water had broken and Shinra was a nervous wreck, eyes wide and looked as though he was nearly about to cry. He was then instructed to go get Sanemi while Aoi set you up on the birthing futon, the three small girls whose names he had not learned were gathering towels, water and other supplies for the birthing process.
Sanemi was by your side no later than five minutes, having thrown the food in Shinra’s arms and dashed away, a gush of in his trail. It was truly a sight to see - Sanemi so caring and loving, holding onto you while murmuring how amazing you were doing. He allowed you to hold his hand and squeeze the life out of it - whatever it took for you to deliver the child safely.
The first sounds of cries cause a wave of relief over Sanemi, you crashing against him in exhaustion. He recalls kissing your head, the sounds of his child louds wails are an accomplishment of what you brought into this world.
“It’s a boy!” Naho, Sumi and Kiyo say in unison and Aoi only smiles towards the wide-eyed former Hashira. She had placed the baby in your arms, innocent eyes looking around curiously but not focusing on anything.
It wasn’t far when the small room was full, Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma low cooing at the sight of the baby. Shinra has a soft smile on his lips, paying his own visit while Tengan is beside Sanemi, who’s eyes had not left his son or you.
“How does it feel?” Tengan asks Sanemi, who blinks but doesn’t take his eyes from you.
“Surreal.” Sanemi responds.
Sanemi felt happy for once. Was it selfish to say this was the happiest he felt in years? He was happy when you came back into his life and brought a new meaning into it. He can even say he felt happy when he learned that they had won the battle against Muzan, even if in the moment he wished he would have died alongside his brother. 
However, there was no happiness that could replace the one he felt at the sight of his child; his son. There was like a new light that overcame him as he watched you nurse his child or hold him close with such love. It’s insane to think that you were the reason that he felt happy once more - he was once content on dying knowing that he would possibly never have a family. Now, he cannot imagine his life without the little family you have given him.
“I don’t think Y/N-san can see us anymore.” Teiko says, a little sadness laced into her voice. “Another boy in the family.”
“Yes.” Sumi murmurs. “At least he’s cute!”
Genya places both hands upon his sisters shoulders. He has a soft smile on his lips, eyes watching his elder brother and how content he appeared. He then looks towards you and the baby - his nephew. “Aniki is happy again.” he says, more to himself than his sisters. 
Sanemi had kneeled down besides you, his index finger lightly stroking his son's cheek.
“Thank you, Y/N.” Genya says, understanding fully that you could no longer see nor hear him. Teiko and Sumi have now disappeared and he finds himself fading, as well. 
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nayrring · 11 months
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Today's subject; Small sanemi
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kingkatsuki · 25 days
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Thinking about having some sort of friends with benefits with Sanemi, except you’re not friends— not really. Sanemi doesn’t have friends. And he refuses to place a label onto whatever this is.
He never cuddles after, and it hurts when he leaves you naked and yearning on your simple futon. Disappearing back into the night without so much as a kiss goodbye, or a promise to return. Because why would Sanemi be so foolish to make a promise he knows he can’t keep.
But what you don’t realise is the real reason why he refuses to cuddle you. The reason he constantly keeps you at arms length, and just as you think you’re getting closer he pushes you even further away.
Sanemi wouldn’t call himself a smart man, but he’s smart enough to know that if he stayed to cuddle you after sex he wouldn’t be able to leave. The years of trained restraint ingrained into his body would wither and decay the moment you lay your head on his chest, closing his eyes and pretending that you could actually work. Your relationship reserved to be a hopeful dream, or a sordid fantasy that he can fist his cock to when he’s villages away and missing you.
But it’s not a relationship your family can stand to take, if you were brave enough to tell them. Your heart now promised to another as you’re prepared for an arranged marriage.
You should be thankful your father tells you, that he could’ve chosen someone far worse. An older, richer man used to taking whatever he wants— especially when a virgin fetches a pretty penny. If only he knew—
You expect Sanemi to fight with you. To offer himself up as a suitor to your family instead— it’s an honour to be betrothed to an hashira afterall. But he doesn’t.
It’s better this way, he tells you while he silently tries convince himself. To ignore the ache in his chest at the thought of you with another. Sharing their bed, your warm cunt and your love—
Love.
It’s morbid really, seeing your lover at your wedding. Watching from the back of the crowd as another man takes you as his own. But he doesn’t utter a word, tired eyes drinking in your beauty as he indulges himself just enough to picture a world where he’s standing with you.
You deserve better, he tells himself. He can’t watch another person he loves die, and you deserve to live more than anyone.
But what Sanemi doesn’t realise is that while he thinks he’s protecting you and keeping you alive, he’s slowly killing you from the inside.
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residentfromnowhere · 5 months
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| CLICKED |
ModernAU!SanemiShinaguzawaXAFABReader
TW: Narcissism, Angst, Gaslighting & Unresolved Issues/Ending
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“You’re not even looking at me right now.”
“Is there a reason too?” You say quietly.
“What do you mean? Is there a reason NOT to?”
You pause, eyes still glued to your fingers. It’s been two hours since dinner and you’re still upset about what he said during it. See, you would have brushed it off and called him an asshole but the fact he went a step further and semi play flirted with the waitress further angered you this making you no longer want to look or speak to him. The fact that he even asked that angered you more.
You shrug and then grab your phone out of your purse, not keen on having to explain yourself or what he did to him. If he doesn’t know why you’re acting this way, then that’s not your problem. You’re done explaining what and why whatever he does is wrong and choose to instead do something you’ve never done before, stop talking and looking at him.
You have been dating Sanemi Shinaguzawa for a couple of years and it wasn’t always sunflowers and sunshine but you tried to look past that because you really did love him but with the things he would say and the supposed “jokes” he would make concerning your looks, your personality and family, you started to reconsider if he even liked you let alone loved you back. Arguments were worse and the thing he would say would make you think he has cheated on you, which later he would get upset because he would claim he would never actually do that to you.
“Are you serious right now, y/n? I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you’re not even looking at me.” He says in annoyance. “Just tell me what’s wrong so we can get this over with and finish enjoying our night because this is getting annoying.” Your fingers suddenly stop and he notices your once neutral expression change to shock then anger. He hit a nerve and he hit it hard.
Annoying? You? Being annoying? Your feelings in which he clearly hurt when he straight up disrespected you by comparing you to her and flirted with her while jokingly putting you down annoys him? You gulp and you can feel the tears starting to form in the crevices of your eyes. You’ve done a great job holding them back but something just snapped.
The nerve to say such things when he was the one to hurt you. The one to say after fully checking the waitress out “man, you used to look that hot. Wonder what happened” and then laugh and look at you expecting you to agree. Your heart shattered in that moment and the smile you once had was wiped from your face. The food came shortly after and not another word was spoken. He would keep trying to have a conversation with you just for his words to fall to deaf ears. Your body was there but you were removed entirely which now brings you to this moment.
“How about you ask that girl what’s wrong with me since you’ve run out of things to put on your list. Maybe she can help you find out.”
You didn’t have to look up to know his face dropped completely and you didn’t have to look up to know what he was thinking. He was going back to two hours ago and trying to find a way to possibly gaslight you into thinking you were too sensitive just like he always did. You hear him scoff and lean back, as though he couldn’t believe what was coming out of your mouth. It pissed him off to no end that you were still hung up on earlier and without hesitation says, “Are you serious? You’re still mad about that? It was a joke for fuck sakes! God, if I knew you were this sensitive in the beginning, I would have went for your friend instead.”
You quickly look up at him and your mouth slightly opens, disbelief all over your face before quickly looking back down. Your face is numb now and Then something hit you, like some type of epiphany. This isn’t the first time he’s embarrassed and put you done like this, it’s just that this was in public and with this and memories of past arguments flooding back, you finally realize that this isn’t who you wanted to be with nor marry.
To realize the person you once considered your soulmate and friend was really the worst person for you and enjoys hurting you brings you relief but shatters you. Have you really been that blind? Rose colored glasses masking narcissist behaviors as love? It was all too much for you and it finally clicked. The words, the comments, the shaming in private and acting lovey dovey in public, all of it finally clicked.
Before he could come up with something to say, your intrusive thoughts take over and what you say next will to you finally open your eyes to how toxic your relationship is and free you and completely ruin his world. Finally making eye contact with him you say,
“Let’s break up”
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