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swashbucklery · 3 years

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I take a break for fucking ONE DAY and Avalance get engaged DON’T WORRY I AM HERE INTERNET TO HAVE MANY OPINIONS.

#my only regret #is that i cannot use the word engayged #because sara is bi #and this fandom is not great about remembering that #like ava can be engayged noprob but can sara be what #en-bi-ged #it just doesn't work and i'm devastated #i'll work through it though #anyway #two white dresses are banned our headcanons have a plurality of gender expressions #i'm an old lady and i decree it #avalance: time wives #we did it lads #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #avalance #legends of tomorrow #lot spoilers #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 3 years

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Hey random question - in trailer you posted - who do you think Spooner is shouting at about hoping they lose everything? I don’t want her to turn on the legends! You said you don’t think the wedding they showed is THE wedding - so you think there will be a second one? I hope so. It’s so sad that their wedding got wrecked. I just want them to be happy. Ava crying makes me worried. X

I mean, look. I don't know anything you don't but it's clear the Legends are Really Going Through It in the back half of the season and I think there's going to be some big emotional ups + downs. But I also don't want to speculate too heavily on what they're going to be. Based on what I've seen of John's arc so far I have an ending I really don't want for him, but I also really want to enjoy the experience of being hopeful and watching the season unfold so I'm trying not to spend too much mental energy working out whether that's the ending he'll get this season.

I 100% don't think Spooner will turn on the Legends. There's really been no indication of that, and tbh if she does she was probably possessed or something and with this show like. Who HASN'T tried to murder everyone while possessed at this point that's basically Wednesday.

Re: the Avalance wedding like. To be honest, the wedding shot in the teaser is Very Much Not To My Taste so it may be wishful thinking that it's a fakeout. I know that this is me being a thirtysomething queer and my own personal taste but I actually really hate when WLW weddings are super normative, SPECIFICALLY the two femmes white dress/white femme pantsuit thing. It's very mid-90s and very palatable to a straight audience and it's FINE and I know legit wlws who have had that kind of wedding because it feels most authentic for them so like. It's not bad to have per se? But if you’re like, “Cousin J, what’s awesome about queer weddings” my answer is. . .not that.

The thing that has charmed me about Sara and Ava has always been that vibe of like.

(Ok and the disclaimer here is like: yes they're two thin femme white blonde women who are conventionally attractive, there are limits to how transgressive they will ever be wrt the broader Representation Discussions absolutely.)

(And no neither of them is butch, Sara and Ava are a lot of things but they 100% do not embody the butch/femme dichotomy no matter how many secret butch/gnc Ava aus I spin in my personal time.)

BUT.

Within those limitations the arc of them has always been like. A little bit scrappy, a little bit found-family, the fact that they're both messed up in their own way and that the parameters of normativity have never really fit right. That's why they work for me, and I think whenever I've headcanoned them having some kind of long term partnership I've always thought of whatever wedding they have also fitting that mold. And also narratively looking at the pattern of their “engagement story,” like. I think my ideal would be PotC3 style, they get married on a runaway train in the old west or they get space married and Kayla officiates like I don’t know what precise components it should have but I know how I want it to feel, if that makes sense? And it should feel weird and kind of slapped together and maybe everyone’s in pyjamas but the emotional core of it is there and that’s what matters.

And honestly this is Broader Old Lady Advice but like. People can still be totally happy as married humans even if their wedding a) sucks or b) is ruined. Weddings, in the scheme of life, are important for the time that you’re planning them and for abouuuut 3 months afterwards, but marriage is an awfully long time and the quality of the wedding has absolutely zero bearing on the quality of a marriage.

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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There's just so much that Sara wants to say. And she was going to say it, that's the thing that's really getting her. It's not like the time before, where Sara knew how she felt and freaked out. Somewhere along the line, being with Ava shifted from being something that could be fun for a while to something that would leave a hole in Sara's life if she ever lost it, and that's a big, stupid romantic deal. "I mean," Sara says. "I could help. If you want."

+

(or: missing scenes through the end of Season 4)

#avalance #my fic #look i wanted to get through three but i managed two #and i'm really proud of how tender this is #these two marrieds are just so into each other #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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ALSO give me the way that deleted Avalance scene highlights the fact that Sara and Ava slowly dress more and more similarly as time goes on bc it is d e l i c i o u s.

Ava THOUGHT she was a suit lesbian but now that half her closet is Sara’s stuff she’s a skinny jeans and long sleeve shirts lesbian and that’s VALID.

#sara will always be a scruffy bisexual #and i miss her oversized s2 sweaters #but i love this gentle way of like #letting them mirror each other visually #because they're in a long term relationship #and sometimes you and your wife wake up and get dressed separately #and accidentally put on jeans and the same shirt in two colourways #and have to decide which one of you is going to change #anyway i'm smitten #and i'm never getting over it #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #avalance: time wives #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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Sara nods. She's not really upset anymore; she understands that Ava was trying her best to protect the team but she kind of doesn't want to talk about it. Or rather - she does, but not now. Now is for sinking back into things with Ava, now is for taking the time to notice every single thing that she loves about her life and appreciate it in case it all dissolves in a wave of antimatter someday. She replies by stacking her palm on top of the hand Ava's resting on her thigh and squeezing.

Ava looks at her. Her expression is searching for a beat before she nods with understanding. She leans forward and kisses the place where their hands are joined, chuckles when the gesture pulls a smile out of Sara. "What do you need?" Ava asks.

+

(or: Avalance reconnect, post-5.01)

#avalance #my fic #they're so soft and tender i missed them so much #avalance: time wives #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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Decided to rewatch the first two seasons of Arrow (because season 2 is the height of superhero TV but wanted to watch season 1 to get the context) and I can't stop thinking about Sara breaking up with Oliver because she thinks she'll lead him down a dark path and telling him "I care about you too much to be with you" and then the arc coming full circle with telling Ava "I'm telling you something that will save us both"

Anon I think about this LITERALLY EVERY DAY. Like the journey Sara has been on since joining the legends is I think one of my favourite arcs in the whole CWverse. That transition from feeling like her trauma makes her someone who has to hide in the shadows and can’t live in the world to someone who - like she’s still scared, in S4? And she still feels like her past is big and scary and could come back to hurt the people she cares about.

But the way she pushes Ava away feels so different, like she instantly knows it was the wrong thing to do, but she’s already done that damage.

And then when she steps up to be there for Ava when Ava needs someone to be a support, and Ava pushes her away right back? DELICIOUS.

But also the GROWTH they let her have in S5 like Sara!!! Learning to have a committed adult relationship where you don’t break up after every fight?? And it’s based in a foundation of mutual respect and trying to talk things through and learning to grow and stretch for each other?? MAGNIFICENT.

#like i'm rewatching sg s4 right now because the premiere's coming up #but i'm also gonna start rewatching legends s4 #because oh my gosh what a beautiful season that is #night of the living anons #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings #Anonymous

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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i don't know if ava gets trick or treaters at her place but if she DID please talk 2 me abt avalance vs lil trick or treat cuties

Oh my gosh I love this ask a LOT friend you have the best ideas

So like look. LOOK. First of all Ava has never trick-or-treated before and she doesn’t like costumes and she doesn’t like thinking of costumes and she doesn’t like kid stuff or nostalgia and she doesn’t really like parties either and basically, Halloween is the centre of the venn diagram of most of her nightmares. So she’s surly about it at best, but she did get a couple of trick or treaters last time and she felt guilty about not having good treats for them, fine. Fine.

Sara on the other hand is like. Full Halloween. It’s one of those childhood things that never really got tainted by the island or the league and so it still feels really wholesome and happy for her and it has never really occurred to her that like. Being a grownup with a partner who lives in a real home (I still headcanon Ava’s place as a townhouse) means that she gets to host trick or treaters.

So Ava is like, um, we will get one (1) bag of FUN SIZE candies they will be WERTHERS ORIGINALS and that is SUFFICIENT CANDY AND FUN PER CHILD. We will wear SENSIBLE OUTFITS because we are GROWN UPS. And Sara’s like, metaphorically skateboarding down the hall screaming FULL SIZE CHOCOLATE BARS because come on, Ava. Come on. Don’t you want to be the cool house?

(This is, of course, Ava’s Achilles heel and they both know it. Ava always wants to be the cool everything. And it’s cheating and Ava tells her so but she does budge to chocolate bars, fun size, perhaps the large box just in case.)

(Oh oh also I just thought about Sara and Ava carving pumpkins together and like. Ohhhh. My heart.)

Ava who is like, just not sure how to act or ask about the costumes but the kids are pretty cute and they like the chocolate, and it feels better to have something to offer this year.

(Sara sneaks each kid like 3 extra chocolate bars while Ava’s back is turned, they have a box of 100 and they get like 8 kids she’s just doing the math.)

But also: Ava learning to ask and do the thing where she’s like OH a PAW PATROL that’s so exciting! Who’s your favourite. . .dog? They’re dogs? You like the dog airline pilot okay cool and like. The first time it’s awkward, but the second time Sara rubs her back and she’s kinda good at it and it feels sort of nice.

#tagfic #my fic #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #halloween tag #they definitely spend the rest of the night trying to pair snickers bars with white wine #and watching scary movies #and necking #it's ava's best halloween ever #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings #falsealarm

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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I would love to hear about any Sara feelings you are having. I am particularly interested in how she deals with the trauma that she has faced. She has been shown to have less than healthy coping mechanisms, but I have to believe that through her journey, they have improved. I could see Ava playing a role with that. What do you think are Sara's main coping mechanisms? What role does Ava play (beyond what we have seen) in helping Sara deal with her trauma? Thank you, and I love your blog!

Anon, this is a ~spookily appropriate~ ask because I just rewatched the Death Witch ep for the first time in well over a year.

(Which: gosh I forgot how ROUGH that ep was when it first aired, but going back to it I love it a lot?? Like I think the toughest part at the time was the Avalance bits and in particular the uncertainty of whether they were going to like. You know. Break up break up. But coming back knowing how good and solid and connected they are in S4 it smoothes out all the hard edges and just makes it a really good character study with one (1) bad wig.)

In terms of Sara’s coping mechanisms like. . .that’s tough, because in early seasons it’s definitely stabbing and alcohol, neither of which are. . .ideal. And I’m not sure where she goes after that because like. I don’t know that I can/wish to speak to this in terms of what I think Sara’s trauma symptoms are or how she copes with them in a direct way.

But more broadly, there’s definitely this really beautiful shift from S3 to S4 that comes in part from Sara’s relationship with Ava, and in part from her role in the team. Because Sara’s always been someone who like - as much as she’s been through a lot, she’s always been very mindful of like. Protecting the people around her from her inner darkness and the ways that her past experiences have affected her - often to her own detriment, by leaving when things get real or really trying to avoid intimate, meaningful relationships.

And Ava is, I think, sort of the first romantic relationship where she turns a corner with that? (Canonically anyway; in my heart she dated Kendra and Amaya and it was REAL and BEAUTIFUL and COMPLICATED but apparently that’s “fanfiction” and “didn’t happen on the show” WHATEVER.) Like she kind of doesn’t, because the death totem really does make her worst fears literal around hurting the people she loves, and she definitely freaks out and breaks it off with Ava and regrets it instantly, but it’s significant that she regrets it? And when she sees Ava struggling with her own worthiness post-clone-reveal, she reaches out despite her better instincts and is like - really meaningfully vulnerable, without expecting anything in return from Ava.

I don’t think that being with Ava helps Sara with her trauma in a direct sense. But I do think that falling for Ava, and the experience she has of like, overcoming that self-doubt to use a totem and make a magic team Beebo and save the universe, are really similar experiences at their core. They both involve being seen by people, and allowing herself to be accepted along with that piece of her past rather than in spite of it or because she’s holding it back. And we see it in S4 that once Sara does that she’s - like she’s still Sara. She’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop and everything to fall apart, but she’s settled enough that she’s not going to break it apart pre-emptively to disappear into the night and that’s actually a huge deal.

I think that the relationship with Ava is the kind that Sara spent a long while thinking she wouldn’t ever get to have. And so I don’t think that in itself is big enough to heal or cure Sara’s past, but I think it is very much something driving her to continue to work through that process of healing on her own. She wants to be a good partner to Ava, the same way that she wants to be a good leader for her team, and that responsibility is something that she’s willing to do the work to keep.

#night of the living anons #tagfic #my fic #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #dashing captain sara #sara lance: my best time princess #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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I saw this post and then the gifset you reblogged from A Knight's Tale and WHAT IF SARA LANCE IN A KNIGHT'S TALE

I MEAN “a man can change his stars” is probably the most Legends thing; OF COURSE I would love to consider gallant knight Sara in A Knight’s Tale: The AU.

(The question here though is like. . .how do you go about this. Bc you could have it be Sara/Ava but then you’d have to make Ava the blacksmith, bc I don’t think I could see her ever being the lady-love in the tower. But this still works; Ava watching Sara run up against that wall, trying to win the hand of the princess and then when Sara gives up, Ava calls her an idiot and they both look up and oh, fuck. Oh fuck off, of course. It’s always been each other.)

(BUT - and I think I’ve discussed this with someone before, I want to say it was @kendrasaunders but I could be making that up. But that movie works extremely well for a Sara/Kendra AU and I just really want to encourage you to sit quietly and think of that.)

(Like: Kendra as the beautiful princess, doomed to marry a man she doesn’t love and in wanders this knight. This gallant, stupid knight who - maybe she’s still Ulric Von Lichtenstein, pretending to be a man as well as a noble, and of course Kendra knows she’s a woman, of course Kendra’s figured out that she’s common, but she looks at Kendra like she’s the moon and stars themselves and she’s willing to fight and bleed for Kendra’s honour and oh. That one. She wants that one to be hers most of all.)

(That scene though!!! Sara is injured in the joust and Kendra comes to her tent to thank her and nurse her back to health and w h o o p s they have slow, tender sex in the tent in the middle of the fairgrounds because they can’t keep their hands to themselves. My heart.)

#tagfic #my fic #lovebirds #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #canaryhawk #dashing captain sara #sara lance: adventure bisexual #knights' tale au #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 4 years

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Do you think Ava and Sara do any Halloween/Fall activities of any kind? Either at home or out and about?

I think it kind of honestly depends on when they’re home. Like that still isn’t 100% clear to me; in theory Sara and the team could constantly jump back post-mission so that a year for Ava is three for Sara, but they seem to have a sort of loose way of mirroring linear time so that Sara’s days on the Waverider are like her going on a business trip and coming back when it’s done.

I think, like. They’re the type of couple who have a lot of ideas about cool things they could do around Halloween and in autumn, but life gets in the way and they end up doing like. Two of the things on their wishlist.

The one thing that dovetails really nicely into @falsealarm‘s ask about trick-or-treating is pumpkin carving, and I think they definitely do this. They talk about decorating the house for Halloween while they’re on the sofa, Ava sitting like a person and Sara sort of sprawled with her head on Ava’s lap and this is IMPORTANT because when Ava mentions that she doesn’t see the point of carving pumpkins Sara rolls her eyes and sits straight up and is like. Come on. Come onnnnn Ava it’s magical let’s carve them together.

And it’s definitely Sara who like. She’s got really excellent knife skills, but is she an artist? Maybe not. She gets Gideon to look up something really cool for reference though, and she’s got a good eye for reproducing what she sees on her phone and she ends up carving something fairly impressive, if a little on the imperfect side.

Ava who goes for the classic triangle eyes one tooth smile, because look if she’s GOING to carve a pumpkin she’s going to keep it simple and classy, none of this showing off. But it’s deceptively tricky, the classic - you have to have confidence and good clean lines to make it look right - and it takes her a while and a little more frustration than she’s strictly proud of. In the end though, her pumpkin is precisely and cleanly executed.

And when Sara puts the candles in and lights them up, Ava maybe gets a little choked up because like. She made a jack-o-lantern, and it looks cool.

#tagfic #my fic #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #halloween tag #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings #Anonymous

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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I’m writing this Tumblr post from the MOON because between Maisie’s crackling queer energy and that beautifully, magically insane two-wlw-in-fake-IKEA-talking-about-commitment I have become even gayer than I already was and now I’m too gay to stay on Earth anymore.

It’s just me and my cat, we’re so fucking gay that we’ve floated away into space and we’ll miss you all very much.

#like i can't even #i CAN'T E V E N #i'm delighted i'm stunned like this is every dumb avalance feeling i've ever had #these two adventuresses quietly pining for domesticity #so very very broken in their own ways #treating each other gently and respectfully and doing their best #like i'm sure i will get INTO this but this is like #every deep dark secret headcanon i've ever had #about sara and ava easing into a real relationship #brought to life with a weird relationships are like an IKEA store metaphor #and i'm overjoyed #these two women wlwing each other FOREVER #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #legends of tomorrow #lot spoilers #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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So I know that by next summer “Lover” is gonna be like, the go-to hetero wedding song but if someone could just quietly make me an Avalance gifset for it while it’s still fresh and soft, I’d be forever grateful/totally willing to talk a mini-fic swap.

#i just #i don't care #it's avalance #i licked it and now it is that's how this works #it's just such a soft song about like #long term relationship intimate domesticity and i love it kind of a lot #and it gives me just the tenderest fandom feelings #about my best not-ikea not-wives #who are basically gay time married and soft as hell #let me have this internet #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #avalance: time wives #unicorn princess baylor slow #do i have a music tag?#legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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related to the soft ask: i worked out that the coat sara wore on the arrow ep and the coat ava wore in purgatory are the same coat. if we assume the purgatory coat was based on a real one of ava's then that means clothes sharing. oh god and i literally just thought that if ava DOESN'T own it then in her purgatory she was imagining wearing sara's coat and that is both soft and HORRIBLY SAD

I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about the purgatory outfit tbh because the other thing that was getting me - and this only got me because I was trying to write a very specific kind of fic and then I got stuck on the details and put it aside - was Ava’s outfit at the end of the ep?

Because in the Demon Motel Room Ava’s’s clearly wearing like, whatever she usually wears under her bureau suit.

(Which, as an aside: this show gets me like gently dapper/masc-expressing women wearing tank tops or t-shirts under their button-downs? The Good Stuff I need to lie down about it.)

(Like as;dlfkjsaflsaj there’s just that little layer of next level butch it’s like when women wear boxer-briefs it’s just important to me and incredibly attractive and the idea of Ava having an extensive tank top/undershirt collection is just ::chef finger kiss::)

(Also pls consider: Sara stealing Ava’s tank tops and wearing them to bed. Just consider it.)

(OK I’m done.)

But anyway AVA’S CLOTHES. Because the coat + jeans + black tank top were what Ava wore through the whole purgatory sequence, but in “reality” she was still in her tank & undies & blanket from the motel. But then at the very end of the ep when she and Sara came by to get hugs from Zari & Mona & Charlie, Ava was wearing jeans and a black tank and that same coat from Fantasy IKEA Purgatory. And I have thought about this a lot, and I’ve come up with two options that make the most canonical sense to me:

1) Ava and Sara went back to Ava’s apartment, cleaned up the mess + cleaned her up, and got Ava a change of clothes, then went back to the Waverider to see the rest of the team

OR

2) Ava keeps a small collection of clothes at Sara’s, and that specific outfit is the Sara Outfit that she can wear when she stays over. Which means that in her purgatory she was dreaming of wearing those specific clothes because something something they remind her most of being with Sara, and obviously my heart likes this one the best because feelings.

(Alternately, that entire outfit belongs to Sara which I think is less likely tbh because I’m not convinced that Sara and Ava wear the same size in stuff like jeans and shoes, but also possible & very cozy and domestic.)

I still haven’t had time to see the Arrow ep though, and I love the idea that Sara’s wearing Ava’s coat to go visit her friends!! And that does fit really well with option #2, I think? Like those are the Ava clothes that she left with Sara, and when Sara wants to wear a Girlfriend Outfit those are right on hand. Especially if Sara ducks out for the Arrow ep before she and Ava have had a chance to reconcile and it’s sort of like. She’s fine about it, she’s giving Ava her space, but maybe wearing that coat just makes it a little easier, somehow. Because whenever she wears it she feels just a little bit warmer and a little bit more held, like Ava’s kind of with her.

#replies #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #tagfic #my fic #legends of tomorrow #cw dcu feelings #directoravasharpe

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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Can we all just talk about how Sara made Ava’s mom’s special cookies and brought them to their fight as an apology offering bc I’m lowkey swooning about it.

#like yes she could have just bought them i know cookies can come from a store #but in my heart she already had the recipe #from a few months ago #she made it for ava as a date night surprise #and it took her four practice rounds on the waverider to not burn them #before she made them for ava #but ava got all soft and wistful about them #they tasted like home even though she knew they shouldn't #and she got so tender about it that sara never quite forgot #she's had that recipe in her (metaphorical) back pocket ever since #she baked them the long way #had gideon fabricate a tupperware like the kind sara used to have in her parents' house growing up #because she wanted to remind ava that she was worth the trouble #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #tagfic #my fic #legends of tomorrow #lot spoilers #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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So I rewatched 4.06 through 4.08 this week, in part bc I'm just over the moon about Legends being back but ALSO because I have some Ava feelings percolating that I wanted to sort out and anyway, here's my stuff.

Because look, I think that - like it's hard, on a show like this where everything's happening all the time and every single plotline is bananas, to convey things that are subtle. (Or am I just too easily distracted because I love everything so much this season and my feelings can only grow so large, who can say.) But I think the way that Ava lashed out at Sara in 4.09 (last week's ep) was something they've been building to as Ava's arc over the last few episodes, and it's not actually about Ava being pro- or anti-magical creature, it's about Ava working through her anxiety over identity stuff and clinging to the rules as a coping strategy.

Like the vibe I get is almost - it's like she's sort of absorbed what people her (fake) age "should" be doing, but from a dumb source. The magazine article or heteronormative cocktail party version of a normal life, I guess. And then she's internalized it really aggressively, and is kind of hoping that'll be enough. She's holding on to like - basically the superficial parts of being successful or "normal" because she doesn't know how to handle what she's feeling or where to begin with figuring out who she is.

Which I think the show is trying to hold up as a reaction to her clone identity, because it's such an about-face from how she was at the end of S3, before "I, Ava." Like remember that? When Sara literally shouted in her face that she wasn't normal and Ava was like, of course you aren't I love my disaster danger adventure girlfriend, let's be swashbucklers together.

(Look I had too many feelings so I'm putting the rest of them under a cut.)

And over the end of S3 and definitely in S4 we've seen a lot more of Ava like - sticking to the rules even when it's hurting her friendships or relationship, when maybe she wouldn't have before. It gave me a lot more context for her comments about Mick from 4.07-8, and why they felt so out of line for me. Knowing that the show was trying to build having a bit of a crisis about rules vs relationships a few episodes later, it makes a lot more sense to me. Because maybe it's not actually about her disliking Mick as a person, versus just internalizing that well he's a "criminal" and he's "weird" and it's Better to have Only Normal Friends.

But even to pick a less controversial subject, when Mona is talking about ethics and quality of life in prison and wanting to make sure the magical creatures are having a nice time, like! This is the person who fudged the rules to get Rip out of prison to help fight Mallus! She knows that sometimes people can be fundamentally good, and that sometimes good people break unjust rules for the right reasons! And she gets there, eventually, but her knee-jerk response is to get super black-and-white, everyone in prison is bad and should feel bad and should be uncomfortable, end of discussion.

We see it in both those instances too that her initial response is to double-down on the rules, but once she's shown a bit of patience and kindness and encouraged to revisit that initial response, she softens and can understand why that's not the right decision. She bonds with Mick and loves the draft of his novel! She bonds with Nora and Mona and ends up letting her building in some creature comforts for the creatures!

Basically, Ava's arc makes a ton more sense to me now that I've thought about her as just having the massive creeping panics over:

everything she knows about herself

all of her coping strategies

all of her relationships and

who she is as a person

And is just shoving that down and covering it up with The Normals as hard as she can and hoping nobody notices.

Because the tension is that she actually does have really strong relationships with people who care about her, and they're noticing that being Normal and Following The Rules are both not like her and kind of not always appropriate given the circumstances. And that's affecting her relationships with everyone but obviously especially Sara.

Sara who is her one true Sara, but is her girlfriend precisely because they're both weird swordfighting time-travelling secret heroes. And back before the clone revelation Ava was so happy to not have those trappings and to lean in to scruffy time-travel magic whatever like we see it, that was the thing that made her feel best and most like herself. But even in later S3 we see her struggle, like she wants to hold onto rules and the bureau so badly and again it's not until the Legends really have their backs to the wall that she comes through.

I think last week was very much Sara picking up on that shift in Ava's approach to things and quite rightly pushing back - both for ethical reasons to protect Mona and because the Hank side of the Bureau is clearly shady, but also to say like. Hey. What's happening with you. And I think Ava had such trouble tolerating that because it was a time-sensitive situation. There wasn't a chance to sit down and talk things through and get to the place of letting go of her fears to really see the situation. She had to react, and she doubled-down on the rules and expected that Sara would stand behind her.

And so even though there have been little hints of this before, now Ava's stuck because obviously that approach is ultimately not productive. Obviously this isn't appropriate, Ava's hurting the people who care about her by taking her anxiety out on them or making wrong choices out of fear, and she's gotta work on her own business and turn that around.

I don't think it's useful to necessarily say that either Sara or Ava were wrong or right in that particular situation - they both made choices that felt most right to them and it played out the way it did. But I am super into it story-wise as a conflict because it's not really about Sara and Ava's relationship not being strong, it's about Ava like - having to work on her stuff to be able to be a participant in that relationship. I think it's a really interesting layer to her character. Like this person who looks super functional for the aesthetic and is really struggling to hold herself together, that's a good character arc and that's also a potentially super cool way to make Ava more of a Legend.

And the other reason I'm kind of into this is because I can see so many places I would love for this to go? Like, I think things are gonna get a bit worse before they get better but I would love to see Ava softening over the next few episodes once she realizes what she's been doing. Leaning into the fact that she can't just power through and pretend to be as normal as possible, she's got to figure out who she is and that's messy and probably embarrassing and probably weird but that's what she needs to do to feel better.

Figuring out like - is she a person who truly likes suits & button-downs all the time? Is she a person who likes other kinds of self-expression? What does she like to do to make herself feel better? Like give me Ava trying on hobbies, is she a woodworker is she a poetry nerd does she like gaming what's she about. Maybe she's going to learn to play DnD with the legends bc sure it's for "nerds" but SHE'S A NERD and Sara says it's fun and she loves math and structure! Ava finding a sport she likes rather than just going to the gym to stay active, like goodness gracious give me Ava playing softball or ultimate frisbee or hockey one of those other Type A Jock Nerd sports.

Because look as much as all of the Legends are super fucked up they actually all have, like. Coping strategies. For their feelings. And I think Ava needs that super super a lot. So I'm kind of really curious to see where this arc goes as a vehicle for Ava to work on those identity issues a little more and sort out what kind of leader and what kind of person she wants to be, now that she gets a choice.

#ava sharpe: most dapper mermaid in all the land #ava sharpe: closet emo kid #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #sometimes i just need to rewatch this show and focus on one specific character at a time #there's so much there #and i don't think i really started understanding ava as a character until this week i'm so excited #meta i guess #tagfic #my fic #legends of tomorrow #lot spoilers #cw dcu feelings

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swashbucklery · 5 years

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What got me was seeing them old together and still finding each other hot and stuff like we got kid Avalance, present Avalance and older Avalance talking about their future. If that doesn’t scream endgame, I don’t know what does.

I think the show’s always been really candid about the relationship between Sara and Ava being a different kind of relationship for both of them. For Ava it’s the relationship that - literally - is most real for her, and the first relationship where she’s been able to be her genuine self without the layer of false memories from the Bureau.

For Sara it’s a relationship where like. I think Sara needed the first few seasons of this show to get to a place where she was ready to be a partner to anyone, really. She’s come so far from this person who, back in S1, wasn’t even sure she was worthy of or capable of having friends or teammates. And now she’s this leader and she has this beautiful chosen family and the work she’s done to have faith in herself and trust her instincts and trust that she’s enough to care for these weird wobbly people and let them care for her back is just astonishing. Being with Ava is the first time she’s had a relationship and been in a place where she’s capable of letting herself be loved and letting herself fall in love, and that’s a deliberate, special, powerful thing.

I have a fandom Pinterest account that I started last year, it helps me when I’m stuck and need to get into a writing headspace, and my Avalance board has always been called Time Wives like the way that the show is treating them just feels different to me. They really do have this forever-and-always kind of love and I’m so happy and proud of Sara for getting there and I’m so, so smitten with them as a couple.

#night of the living anons #tagfic #avalance #sara and ava sitting in a tree f u c k i n g #legends of tomorrow #lot spoilers #cw dcu feelings #Anonymous

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