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damn-stark · 1 year

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Chapter 1 Beautiful girl

Chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I really hope you guys like the first chapter, I’m very proud of it! And I hope you guys stick around for more :)

Warning- FLUFF :): violence, death, blood, swearing, and suggested sexual assault.

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x01

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“Alarm.”

There’s slight movement on the bed, and a weight gets lifted off your neck.

An annoying sound fills the room, but you ignore its screeching cries even if they don’t cry for your attention.

“Alarm!” Sarah yells out.

You groan and stretch out, feeling the bottom of your feet hit flesh.

“Come on,” you hear your fathers hoarse voice nearby before you feel a hand wrap around your arm to pull you up. “It’s time to get up.”

The hand around your arm slips off, letting you drop back on the bed. And the additional weight that once was on the bed is lifted off. You keep your eyes closed to avoid the warm rays of sun that already kiss your face, and groan softly before you flip around and curl up on the warm and sunken place your father was just laying on, finding solace in his smell that clung onto his pillows.

“Tomorrow,” you groan in a feigned deep voice.

There’s a scoff before suddenly arms wrap around you and pick you off the bed to throw you over his shoulder. You keep your eyes closed as he begins moving, but wrap your arms around his neck to keep warm and smile as you pat his back.

“Happy birthday, daddy,” you mumble since that’s not something you’ll ever forget, even if you still feel sleepy.

You then lift your head off his shoulder to press a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you baby,” he says as he gently caresses the back of your head.

“I have a present for you,” you share happily and lay your head back on his shoulder.

“Do you? Is it hm, maybe, brushing your teeth.”

You finally open your eyes and pull back to meet his gaze and giggle. “No!” You swipe back the strands of hair that were tickling the corner of your mouth as they stuck to your face due to the drool that had been spilling out of your mouth when you were sleeping.

Your dad then sucks air in through his teeth and narrows his gaze as he leans in and sniffs. “Oh no? Because your breath kinda stinks.” He remarks and places you down on your stool placed against the sink counter.

You roll your eyes and shift around to face the mirror, making sure to brush back your poorly cut bangs you had ruined last week because you swore you could be a hairstylist at 4–you still kinda do think you can be one.

Regardless, you grab your purple brush off the cup and put it under the running water, before you quickly squeeze toothpaste on the brush and begin to brush rapidly since you do have to show your dad a part of your present.

You brush up and down, side to side, and spit out the toothpaste before splashing water on your face and hopping off the stool.

“Change!” Your dad shouts from the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth.

Of course you know to do so that’s what you’re doing now. However, you don’t grab your own clothes, you run to his drawer and go on your tiptoes to pull open his shirt drawer. Since you can’t actually see, you just grab whichever shirt your hand lands on first and swipe it before running out of his room to run to yours.

The smell of breakfast runs up the stairs and travels to your nose, waking up your appetite and causing you to rapidly throw on your dads shirt that drowns your body and fits like a dress. You then proceed to search in your white chest full of costumes.

“Come on,” you mumble and lean further inside as you search for something small.

However, at that moment you end up finding your fairy wings and throw them out even if it doesn’t match your costume. They’re just sparkly and catch your attention. And they’re your favorite.

After that you then continue to search for your intended item.

“Y/N, come on!” You hear your dad call out from the hall before his footsteps recede down the stairs.

You mumble something you don’t even understand, and finally, stuck at the bottom of your chest is the black swirly mustache you need. So you peel it off the wood and stick it on yourself before you pull away and swipe the fairy wings off the floor to put them on as you finally run out to join your sister Sarah, and your dad downstairs.

“Morning,” Sarah says as she hears you running down the stairs whilst she takes out orange juice from the fridge.

“Mornin’!” You greet back and hop off the last step to then run to the high stool against the island.

Since it’s so high off the ground you slap your palms on the surface of the chair and struggle to push yourself on top to watch Sarah pour orange juice in your glass cup.

“Here,” she says and slides the cup over to you. “I’ll give you more later.”

You lean over the table and slide it to you. “Thank you,” you say and shoot her a beaming smile, catching her own smile as she sees your costume in all its glory.

She then grabs the other cup and pours juice in that one too to offer it to your dad as he turns around to face her with his mug of delicious smelling coffee.

“Vitamin C,” Sarah deadpans and places it down on the counter so your dad can take it.

“Daddy…” you call out for his attention and chug some juice as if you’ve never had anything to drink before. “…Look,” you sigh when you’ve swallowed.

As your dad is drinking his juice he turns, and his eyes immediately widen as his lips lift to a smile when he sees how you’re dressed.

“I’m you,” you reveal as if it isn’t obvious by his shirt and your fake mustache. “Happy birthday!” You shoot him a beaming grin.

He places the cup down and his grin widens. “What’s up with the wings?” He points.

You peer back at your fairy wings and shrug. “I like ‘em. You like it though?! And my mustache?!” You ask and pat it.

“It’s like part one in her four part present,” Sarah explains for you. “She’s worked hard on it.”

You nod in agreement and slide off your seat with your cup in hand.

“I love it, baby,” your dad says. “You look just like me.”

You pump your fist in excitement as you head to your seat around the small wooden circle table.

“You get your homework done?” Your dad asks Sarah whilst you find it easier to climb on these lower wooden seats. “Fractions?”

Sarah laughs and before long, breakfast is brought to the table, and the three of you peacefully eat eggs and cooked meat you don’t touch.

“How old are you again?” You ask your dad as you shove eggs in your mouth.

“Thirty-six,” he says.

You swallow and laugh, “that’s so old,” before Sarah interjects too.

“Gonna have to wear diapers soon.”

You giggle and watch your dad for his reaction.

“Who says I don’t already?” He retorts, causing you to laugh harder.

“That’s so gross,” you comment.

Your dad leans over and points at you. “You’re gonna have to change 'em.”

You stick your tongue out in disgust and shake your head, making him laugh before he pulls something out of his mouth. “Shell,” he says.

“Calcium,” Sarah counters and shoots your dad a grin that’s full of food.

“Lovely.”

You smile at her with admiration before you laugh softly. “You’re so silly, Sarah.”

Sarah looks over at you and nods with a sly smirk. “Aren't I?”

You nod and scrape up more eggs on your spoon.

“Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?” Your dad asks Sarah.

“Well, there would’ve been.”

You look down at your plate and see that you still have a piece or two left. “He can have some of mine,” you suggest, and then look back as the garage door opens and your uncle walks in.

“Uncle Tommy!” You greet with excitement.

Said man walks over and pats your dads shoulder, “Hey! You’re still alive, you old fucker.” He ruffles your hair and steals half a sausage from your plate.

“Aw, he loves you,” Sarah says.

“He’s dependent on me. Not the same,” your dad redirects.

You snap your head to the other side to look at your uncle in the kitchen.

“I think it’s the same.”

“It’s definitely the same,” your uncle bounces off your sister's comment. “I thought we was havin’ pancakes.”

“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road—”

“Uncle Tommy,” you cut your dad off. “You like my costume?” You furrow your eyebrows and clear your throat to mock your dads voice. “I’m daddy.”

Your uncle looks over and chuckles right away. “I love it. You nailed it, you look just like him, Sunny. Especially that mustache,” he says and points to your fake mustache.

You grin and kick your feet before you show your dad your smile as he watches with a serious face you quickly mock.

“Eat,” he grumbles.

“I am,” you whisper in your normal voice and focus back on your food whilst he continues to speak.

“Concrete guys gonna be there?”

“Yeah, they said maybe,” your uncle answers your dad.

“Maybe?” Your dad quickly snaps back. “We can’t frame until we pour. We’re not gettin’ paid until we frame.”

You sip some juice and look between the two men.

“Well, we could bring someone else on, get the job done faster.”

“No, no,” your dad counters your uncle Tommy. “I’m not splittin’ this job. I barely wanna split it with you. We could work a double.”

You may not understand at all what they’re saying even if you are very much intrigued by their conversation, but you do know what your dad means by working a double. He’s gonna stay out longer.

“What?” You whine.

“Literally?” Sarah protests in annoyance. “Today?”

Your dad looks between Sarah and you and tries to assure you both. “I know. I’d be done by nine. By nine, right?” He asks your uncle for reassurance.

You begin to pout in anger and sink back in your seat to display your frustration.

“Yeah,” your uncle Tommy confirms.

“I’ll bring back a cake,” your dad continues and pats your hand. “I promise.”

You perk up and ask, “chocolate cake?”

Your dad meets your gaze and nods. “Yeah, of course.”

And with that your anger sweeps away and you feel happy once again.

“…continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising U.S. citizens…”

“Jakarta,” your dad comments as he pulls his hand away from yours to grab his mug. “Where is that, Middle East?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” your uncle Tommy says. “It’s definitely a country. Or maybe part of Asia?”

“Jakarta isn’t a country,” Sarah interjects. “Being a part of Asia isn’t mutually exclusive with being a country…”

Her words tune out of your ears as all your hear is a jumble of mess you don’t understand, nor do you want to understand. You show that confusion clearly on your face and look over at your Uncle Tommy, and he shares a teasing smile.

“Shit,” he then says and looks at your sister. “Hope for us yet.”

The microwave then beeps and then it hits you at that moment, the next part of your dads present.

“Daddy!” You exclaim and stand up on your feet. “Can I sing you your birthday song?!”

Your dad looks up at you and nods, whilst Sarah already begins to discreetly laugh before you can even do a thing.

“Yay,” you mutter happily, and clear your throat before you begin to bop your head and sing a song you had heard a hundred times before in the place you get taken care of.

“Go, go, go, go, shorty. It’s your birthday. We gon’ to party like it’s your birthday, we gon’ sip—”

However, before you can finish, you come to an abrupt stop as your Uncle Tommy begins to chuckle loudly.

“No,” you whine and fall on your seat. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry and slam your head on the table. “Don’t laugh!” You shout.

No tears come out of your eyes because you don’t really intend to cry, you’re just pretending because you’re angry at him, and your dad gets your uncle in trouble when he makes you cry.

“Don’t laugh at me!” You continue to shout.

“I’m not laughin’!” He chuckles. “It’s just cute that’s all.”

“All right,” your dad interjects and ignores your fake sniffles. “Finish up quick, we'll drop you off.”

You continue to sniffle and peek an eye out, seeing your dad walking to the sink with your plate and his in hand. Since you haven’t gotten the reaction you wanted you keep yourself plastered on the table.

“I’m still eating my egg shells,” Sarah complains.

“You got seven minutes.” Your dad tells her.

“Your t-shirt is inside out,” Sarah points out.

“Shit,” your dad curses as he walks back to the table to pick you off the chair. “Come on you, let’s get you changed.”

You sniffle and shed a single tear. “Uncle Tommy laughed at me.” You say and hook your arms around his neck.

Your dad caresses the back of your back head and assures you, “I’ll talk to him. I liked your song though….Where did you learn it though?”

You begin to smile. “Miss Denise, her son Dwayne listens to a lot of songs she doesn’t like. They always fight about it.”

Your dad hums and then does as he said, he helps you get changed before he turns his shirt the correct way. And like all the other times he doesn’t fix your hair since he’s in a hurry to leave for work, he just gets you changed, puts your shoes on and carries you out after he helps you.

“Tommy,” he says and puts you down in the garage. “Can you take y/n across the street, I’ll load the stuff onto the truck.”

“‘Course,” your uncle Tommy agrees since it is a basically routine already. “Come on now, Sunny,” your uncle says and offers you his hand.

Choosing to forget that he laughed at you for now, you happily grab your uncle's hand. And once you walk out of the shade the garage provides, you immediately get greeted.

“Morning y/n!”

You look over and squint your eyes to block out the sun. “Morning!” You greet the old man back happily.

“You want a biscuit?” He asks.

You shake your head. “Nah, I already ate!”

Your uncle then nudges your arm and whispers. “What do you say?”

You hesitate for a moment before it clicks. “Thank you!” Your dad then passes by and you smile as you remember. “Hey, did you know it’s my daddy’s birthday! He’s turning thirty-six!” You share.

“No,” the old man exclaims. “Now I know! Happy birthday, Joel.”

You beam, and see your dad let out a sigh before he turns to face the neighbor taking in the morning sun and feeding Nana some biscuit.

“Thank you,” your dad says, whilst your uncle begins to encourage you forward

“Come on, let’s get you across the street,” he says.

As you follow at his side you peer back one more time to direct your dad a goodbye. “Goodbye daddy!”

Said man peers over his shoulder and waves goodbye. “Goodbye, baby. I’ll see you after work. Your sister is gonna pick you up after she gets home from school, okay?”

You nod and yell out your response. “Okay! Goodbye!”

——

*LATER*

All morning, even up to now there have been loud sounds rumbling in the sky, sirens have been crying all day, and Miss Denise never let you watch t.v. because she said she had to watch the news. And all day you’ve been bored because someone forgot to pack your toys and crayons.

You’ll forgive him though because it’s his birthday. The good thing now is that you're gonna have cookies!

“I was thinkin’ we’d make some cookies.” Mrs Adler says.

You beam up and run to the stool. “Chocolate chip?” You ask with excitement.

Mrs Adler turns around and meets your gaze with a happy smile. “Raisin,” she says.

That’s what she’s happy about? Fruit cookies?

Once her back is turned to you, you look back at Sarah and scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out to show your disgust.

She nods and mirrors your gestures before she walks over and helps you on the stool.

“Daddy forgot to pack my things,” you whine and prop your elbow on the table.

Sarah walks to her seat and pulls her backpack off her shoulders. “It’s okay, I brought you back up paper and crayons,” she assures you as she unzips her backpack to pull out what she said and hand them to you.

So while she does her homework you work on your next present for your dad, a drawing. You even stick out your tongue as if it's the hardest thing in the world—Because it really is to you because you want it to be perfect.

Yet that actually gets your stomach grumbling. But when the timer alerts that the fruit cookies are ready, that hunger isn't as important.

“You wanna give me a hand?” Mrs Adler breaks you away from your drawing.

You lift your gray crayon up and look up—your dad always said to be nice to old people, so you nod and slide off your chair to reach her side.

“Here,” the lady says and helps you on a step so you can reach the counter—“Now,” she adds and hands you oven mittens. “Wear them or you’ll get burnt.”

You do as she says and laugh as the mittens look funny on your little hands. You try to pretend they’re puppets, but then Mrs Adler hands you a spatula so you can help her unstick the cookies from the pan to place them somewhere else.

“Hey, Mrs Adler?” You hear Sarah call out before you see her walk in the kitchen. “Could I borrow this?” She asks and hands the lady a movie box once she reaches the counter.

“Yeah sure,” the lady laughs, whilst you lean over and see that it’s some adult movie—“It’s one of Danny’s,” she continues to say and hands Sarah back the movie, letting your sister then look at you to share a brief look that you understand.

“You know what?” Your sister interjects. “Our dads gonna be back real soon. We should go.”

Without hesitation you spin around and slide off the chair.

“Are you sure?” Mrs Adler probes.

Sarah nods, “yeah.”

You reach for the counter and swipe your drawing off the table.

“Well, you girls are takin’ some cookies,” Mrs Adler adds.

Great. Fruit cookies.

“Y/N,” the lady says. “You want one now? They’re cool enough to eat.” Without waiting for your answer she walks over to you to hand one to you.

Since you don’t want to be rude to hurt her feelings you take it and shoot her a wide smile as you bring it close to your mouth, whilst Sarah packs her stuff in her backpack.

You open your mouth and pretend you're going to take a bite, but just as Mrs Adler turns around you stuff the cookie in your pocket and just pretend to have your mouth full

“Good?” The lady asks with her back turned.

You hum and nod as you keep your cheeks puffed out.

“Good!” The lady says and walks off, letting you breathe out.

“Come on, let’s go, y/n,” Sarah calls out and reaches for your hand.

Eagerly before you can be given more fruit cookies you wipe your hand on your shirt before grabbing your sister's hand to walk to the door. Yet on your way there, Sarah stops as Mercy, the Adler’s dog begins to whine.

“What’s wrong with him?” You ask as you look at him in worry.

Sarah shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says and steals one last look at him before she continues to pull you out. However, you keep looking back at the whining dog until you can’t see him anymore once you’re out the door.

“I’m hungry,” you say and rub your stomach as you both hop off the step.

“Me too,” Sarah agrees as she walks you over the grass to wave her hand under the sprinklers. “We can have some leftovers at home.”

Once home, you eat as you finally watch cartoons. You wait for your dad to come home and finish his drawing. However, waiting turns out to be an eternity, the sun that was once outside disappears and leaves the sky dark, and with even more sirens every few minutes, and more loud noises in the sky. Eventually you begin to feel your eyes get heavy, but you’re determined to stay awake to wait for your dad.

And luckily after a long time keys jingle before the door opens, and your dad walks in.

“Daddy!” You greet happily and shoot up from the couch.

“Hey, baby,” he greets back as he walks over. “You’re awake?”

You nod and hop off the couch to run to the kitchen and grab the cone birthday hats from the table as he talks with Sarah. When you run back you place them on the table to wait for Sarah to give her his presents first, and instead head back to the couch. “Scooch,” you mutter to your dad.

He huffs at your comment but does as you say and makes room for you on the couch at his opposite side.

“Where’s the cake?” Sarah asks, making you realize that he in fact didn't have the chocolate cake he promised.

“Shit,” he groans.

You groan too and shake your head in disapproval.

“C’mon, man,” Sarah mutters with discontent.

“I’ll get us one tomorrow,” your dad assures her as he takes off his work boots.

“Swear, or you don’t get your present.”

Your dad looks up and questions your sister's comment, “you got me a present?”

“Swear.”

“On my life,” he whispers, making Sarah hesitate for a second before she turns around to grab his gift.

You stand up on the couch right away to watch eagerly, catching your dad turn around to look up at you. “You’re not mad at me are you, Sunny?” He asks and wraps his arms around you.

You beam down at him and wrap your arms around his neck. “Of course not. I can never be mad at you, daddy, ” you comfort him sweetly. “We can have cake tomorrow, or the day after that. Or Mrs Adler can make fruit cake.”

“Fruit cake?” He query’s with his brow quirked.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and nod. “Yeah. She made fruit cookies today,” she sigh

“Gross,” he mumbles before he pulls you down to sit you on his lap and press a kiss on your head before you both look over at Sarah as she hands him a small box.

“Wow,” he comments and shows it off to you first before he opens it, revealing a watch with a green strap.

“Fixed it for you,” Sarah says.

Your dad gets the watch out of the box and pulls it up to his ear. “Did you?” He asks her.

Sarah’s eyebrows furrow and she quickly retorts, “what?” before she pulls his hand towards her.

“I don’t hear anything,” he says.

Sarah looks at the watch with concern for a brief second and makes your dad begin to laugh. Sarah hears and then pushes him back, causing you to move back too.

“Hey!” You exclaim.

“That was lame,” Sarah quips. “You’re lame.”

“Yeah, I know,” your dad agrees and grabs onto you tighter so you won’t fall back. “Where’d you get the money for this?” He asks her as he begins to put on his watch.

“Drugs,” she deadpans. “I sell hardcore drugs.”

“It’s better than what I do,” he mutters.

“It was only twenty dollars, which I stole from you.”

You cover your mouth and say, “oh,” with your eyes wide in shock.

Your dad shares a quick teasing look with you before you both point your looks at Sarah.

“I could’ve stolen 60,” she explains herself, “but I put the change back because I’m an honest thief.”

He hums and shares another look with you, making you cross your arms over your chest to then stare her down.

“Besides, it’s the thought that counts. And you were never gonna do it yourself, so.”

Your dad looks back at her and lets his gaze linger for a moment before he looks at his watch he finishes fixing on his wrist.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

You let your arms fall and look at Sarah with admiration, catching her soft smile.

“What do you say?” Your dad asks you with a teasing look. “Should we forgive her?”

You meet your older sister's gaze and shoot her a smile before you nod without hesitation. “Yes.”

Your dad scoffs and smirks.

“Why don’t you give dad your present, y/n?” Sarah encourages you, making you slide off your dads lap to grab the birthday hats.

“Daddy,” you say with a grin and turn to jump on the couch to put a red birthday hat on his head that simply says ‘happy birthday’ on it. “That’s for you. I have one for…Sarah…” you trail off and jump off to go to her.

She sees you get close and ducks her head down so you can put a hat on her head. After that you place the last hat on your own head. “And one for me!” You smile.

“Oh, wow…” your dad says and pushes the hat back from his forehead. “We look funny.”

You giggle and nod. “Yeah. I know.” You then jump and spin around to grab the drawing from the table and show it off to him.

“And my last present, a drawing,” you squeal, and look down at the paper to point at him drawn floating off the ground and with the same red hat on his head. “That’s you, you’re frowning because that’s what you always do….”

“So true,” Sarah snorts, whilst your dad just scoffs.

“And that’s…a cake,” you point to the tiny brown circle cake in the middle. “I couldn’t fit thirty-six candles so I just put one.”

You shift your eyes across the page and point to the curly headed girl that’s taller than your dad. “That’s Sarah,” you point out and slide your finger to the side. “And that’s me,” you point to yourself holding her hand. “We’re smiling ‘cause you’re gonna blow out the candles and make a wish.”

Sarah giggles, and your dad begins to grin.

“And this…” you point to the tiny man next to him with a big smile. “…Is Uncle Tommy. He’s tiny because he laughed at me today.”

Your dad snorts in amusement before he narrows his eyes and points to the gray and black swirls over your uncle's head that come out of his smile. “What’s that?” He asks.

You look closer and giggle. “That’s his smoke from his cigarette.”

Your dad chuckles and takes the drawing from you. “Wow, baby, this is amazing, you’re so good!”

You climb on his lap and smile proudly. “You really like it?” You ask and hold your hands together.

Your dad looks down at you and nods with a happy smile on his face. “I really love it. Thank you.” He says and leans down to press a kiss on your head.

You clap your hands and grin before you cling onto his neck to hug him.

“Oh, there’s one more,” Sarah adds and turns around to pull out the movie she had brought from the Adler's house. And that immediately makes him happier.

“Borrowed it from the Adler’s,” Sarah continues as your dad looks at the movie of a ninja and some guy.

“This is the one with the deleted scenes,” your dad points out in amazement.

“Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be. C’mon,” Sarah nudges him. “Pop it in. While it’s still your birthday.”

Your dad holds onto you as he gets off the couch to put in the movie. When he returns to the couch to change the tv, Sarah gets closer to him and cuddles at his side, while you cuddle yourself on his other side.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he tells Sarah and you.

“‘Course, I won’t, it’s too riveting,” Sarah says.

You shake your head. “I won’t either,” you assure him.

However, once the movie begins to play it fails to grab your attention, so it doesn’t take long for you to finally give in to the sleep that had already been lurking. And all you know before you fall asleep is that you were holding onto your dads arm and resting your head on his shoulder, while Sarah lay her head on his lap. You knew you were in the living room, and only saw them before the darkness came.

But when you wake up to more loud noises rumbling in the sky and bright lights flashing over your eyes, your dad nor Sarah are with you anymore, you’re not in the living room, you’re actually in your room, on your own bed, alone. Since the noises scare you like the nightmares and the shadows in the corner of your room, you get off your bed and run over to your dads room.

However, when you walk in he’s not in bed. “Daddy?” You call out in a quivering voice. You slowly walk further in and part your lips again, but nothing comes out because then another light flashes outside that scares you right over to Sarah’s room.

When you see that she’s sleeping you carefully close the door before you tiptoe over and climb on her bed. When you get under her sheets she probably feels you because right away without a fault she wraps her arm around you and pulls you close to her.

She may not be your dad, but she is one of your favorite people, she still brings you comfort, she still makes you feel calm. Enough so that you fall asleep again in her arms.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

“…come on, babygirl…”

There’s soft murmurs of a familiar voice by your ear, but it tunes out quickly as you remain half asleep, thinking that the voice you hear, that the sensation of being carried is all a part of some dream.

“…hey, I have her. Let’s go. Come on…”

The voice gets louder now, and second by second your mind begins to grasp that you’re not asleep anymore.

“…Denise, you get back inside the house! You lock your doors! Now!”

You begin to flutter your eyes open, and the first thing you see through your blurry sight is the outside of your house from inside of the truck.

“C’mon, c’mon, get in!”

You drift your eyes to the side and identify a blurry sight of your dad getting inside.

“Daddy?” You ask groggily as you wipe your eyes.

In that immediate second your dad looks back with his eyes wide and full of fear you can easily detect.

“It’s okay, baby,” he tries to assure you. “We’re just going away for a bit okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper and drop your hands. You then blink and spot your uncle Tommy driving, you drift your eyes to the side to look outside the window, spotting the Adlers outside their house as your uncle drives by; they’re walking and seem to be in their pajamas, but they also have something on their shirt. “Daddy? Why is Mr—”

“Hey,” he cuts you off and snaps his head back. “Look at me, just look at me, okay, baby? Sarah, get your seatbelt on and then help your sister.”

With the fear in his voice and the way it’s risen louder, you immediately begin to feel a fear twisting your heart strings.

“Jesus Christ, Joel!”

You gasp softly at the shout and try to look back, but Sarah then calls for your attention. “Hey, you want to help me grab your straps.”

You blink and meet her gaze, catching that same fear on her face, but she tries to assure you as she helps strap yourself on your seat.

“Okay,” you mumble and reach your left hand back to put your hand through the strap before you pull it forward and hand it to Sarah, so she can buckle you in.

Sirens then drive by, flashing their bright red and blue lights and stealing your attention out the window.

“Daddy—”

“We don’t know,” your dad cuts Sarah off.

“They’re saying it’s a virus…” you hear your uncle Tommy input.

You slowly look over at him and try to understand what that means, noticing an empty backpack on the car floor by your feet in the meanwhile.

“…Some kind of parasite.”

“Is it from terrorists?” Sarah asks, but you can’t understand, all you can do is listen and find no meaning to their words—no, actually all you do understand is fear.

“We don’t know,” your dad interjects.

“Are we sick?” Sarah continues to ask, making your eyes widen and your heart beat faster.

Your dad looks back and assures your sister. “No. Of course not.”

His words comfort you even if you don’t understand the grand scheme of things.

“Why did things blow up?” Sarah continues.

Yet she gets no answer. Your uncle speaks but not on that matter. “No cellphone, no radio,” he says and turns off the static that had begun to annoy you. “Minute ago, newsman wouldn’t shut up.”

“How do you know?”

“What?” Your dad probes Sarah’s question.

“How do you know we’re not sick?”

Again? Why is she asking that again?

Unless….

“We’re sick?” You interject panicked.

Your dad looks back and meets Sara’s gaze before he looks over at you and shakes his head. “No, we’re not sick.”

You blink and swallow thickly out of lingering fear.

“They’re saying it’s mostly people in the city,” your uncle adds. “It’s why they got the highway blocked off.”

You blink again, and as you look out the front window you catch a bright burning fire swallowing a house whole.

“God,” your uncle mutters. “That’s Jimmy’s place.”

As you pass by you lean closer to the window beside you to watch the blazing flames, and all you see is a great angry monster that destroyed the house, that wanted to eat you and everything else.

“Daddy, what’s going on, I’m scared,” you whisper in a quivering voice and with your eyes brimming with tears.

Said man looks back and reaches his hand over to pat your knee. “It’s okay, baby, you’re gonna be okay,” he comforts you.

You let your eyes linger on him and nod slowly as you choose to believe him. “Okay,” you whisper and grab onto your seat straps.

“The Adlers would take Nana into the city,” Sarah adds. “To the hospital for stuff.”

“That’s right,” your dad agrees. “They would. That’s probably why.”

Are they sick? Is that why they were outside?

“But you’d have to go a lot, right?”

“We’re fine,” your uncle assures Sarah. “Trust me.”

Sirens echo out from outside, but when you peek out the window all you see is darkness, shadows and monsters lurking within them.

“Sarah,” you mumble and look at your sister sitting beside your car seat. “Can you hold my hand?”

Your sister looks at you and nods with a very faint smile on her lips. “‘Course,” she whispers and reaches over to wrap her hand around yours.

You smile softly, but that’s when you catch people outside on the street waving and calling for help, making you hold onto Sarah tighter.

“What are you doin’?” Your dad spats as the car slows down.

“Got a kid, Joel,” your uncle Tommy points out, letting you notice a small kid probably around your age hugging his mom.

“So do we. Keep driving.”

Without hesitation the car speeds up and the man cries out louder. Now rather than looking back you look between your dad and your uncle, and wonder why your dad wasn’t nice enough to let the strangers in the car with you.

“Fuck!” Your uncle then exclaims, making your shoulders jump. “Everybody had the same fuckin’ idea.”

You lift your eyes from Sarah’s hand and see that you’re now driving to the freeway, you see hundreds of red lights from the hundreds of cars not moving. Some cars even try to go the wrong way, resulting in them almost crashing into your car, and making you close your eyes to avoid seeing them as they flash in your eyes.

“I can’t get through this,” your uncle Tommy says.

“All right, let’s think it through, we’ll think it through,” you hear your dad say.

“Fuck!”

“All right, take the field. We cut across and we pick up on the west side.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” you hear your uncle agree. “West, west, all right. All right, hang on.”

The car ride begins to get bumpy, and out of curiosity you open your eyes to check out what's going on, and see that you’re driving on grass now. You’re driving to some place with a lot of lights, but then they change their mind and turn to drive towards a town instead.

The further you get though, the more the noises become; like the plane's engines that fly low, the quicker your head begins to spin and heighten those fearful thoughts. The more the car keeps moving, the more people you see run and hear scream, the harder your chest begins to hurt whilst your breathing quickens. You couldn’t even find solace with Sarah next to you.

You try to close your eyes, block out everything that you saw, everything you heard, but just as you try, lights flash at your side, and when you look over a car almost crashes at your side of the car, making you scream and cover your ears.

“Daddy!” You cry out. “I wanna go home!”

“It’s okay baby, just keep your eyes closed, okay?” He says and pats your knee again.

You don’t answer this time because even with words, even with his touch you still can’t calm down or keep your head from hurting. So you keep trying to squeeze your eyes tighter. However, that doesn’t block out all the shouting outside, or your dads yelling, you can hear it all booming in your ears.

Albeit, suddenly something cuts it all off, something louder sounding behind you, it even rumbles the car. When you look back you see an airplane approaching the car.

“Daddy?!” You cry out.

As the plane gets close you slap your hands over your ears again, you try to call out for your dad again, but then…

There's nothing….

——

“…Y/N…”

You groan and feel inklings of pain all over your body. You hear flames burning, but it’s all dark.

This must be a dream. You’re on Sarah’s bed, having a nightmare.

“Y/N?”

That’s him, your dad, he’s back.

Once again you flutter your eyes open, but instead of seeing Sarah’s room, you see the car again, however now everything is upside down, Sarah, your dad, your uncle, the streets. And now you feel stuck and in pain.

“Daddy?” You whimper out and begin to pant. “It hurts.”

Your dad sighs in relief and reaches his hand out, but he can’t grab you. “Don’t move,” he says. “Don’t move. Your uncle Tommy is gonna help you, okay?”

You keep your eyes glued on him and nod, “okay,” you say in a trembling voice.

There’s finally no more yelling outside, or loud planes, there’s nothing but ringing in your ears that gets lower and lower.

You try to look to the side to check on Sarah, but just as you catch sight of your sister and your dad beginning to crawl over to her, the door beside you opens and you see your uncle Tommy.

“Hey, Sunny,” he says in a soft voice. “Ima gonna help you out, okay? Hold onto me,” he instructs and then crawls over to you to grab you from under one arm while he uses the other to try and unbuckle your restraints.

You reach over and wrap your arms around his neck, but just as he tries to pull off your restraints there’s sharp burning pains that suddenly slam into you. “Ow! Ow!” You cry out.

Your uncle's eyes meet yours and he quickly tries to comfort you, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry, the restraints are cutting you, I’m sorry,” he says, but continues to pull, only causing more pain.

Until finally the sharp pain disappears, leaving only the burning pain as you feel weightless.

“Hold on tight,” your uncle says and pulls you towards him before he grabs the backpack from the floor, and then crawls back outside.

And once you’re out from under the car your uncle puts you down on the ground. That’s when you see that fires are in fact true, they weren’t just part of your mind, they burn all around….

“Look at me,” your uncle startles you. “Don’t look anywhere else, okay?”

You shut your mouth and curl your hands to fists as you nod and try not to cry.

“Joel, how you doin’ over there?!” Your uncle shouts as he grabs your hand and yanks you to him.

“Sarah,” you hear your dad yell, “her leg is hurt, can you hold onto y/n?!”

Your heart sinks at the sound, but you also feel happy to hear from your dad again.

“Yeah, yeah! I can! Y/N,” your uncle then calls, making you meet his gaze again. “I need you to climb on my back and put your legs through the backpacks straps, and wrap your legs around me, okay? You then have to hold onto my neck very tight, okay? Don’t let go, ever.” He instructs as he swings on the empty backpack.

You sniffle and nod quickly whilst you keep your eyes on him like he said, you ignore the fires and the people that lay on the ground. Once he’s done he picks you up, and you climb on to his back to put each leg through a backpack strap to sit like if it were some baby carrier moms wear at the parks.

“Hold onto me,” your uncle repeats.

You nod and cling your arms around him, managing to see everything now that you’re on his back; the fires from all the cars crashed onto the street, broken windows, open stores, bodies and…red blood. Real blood.

Up to this point blood only existed when you got cuts, it hurt, but your dad always made it disappear. Blood existed in the movies, it was fake, it was never puddled and gushing out of people.

“Where’s my daddy?” You ask in a quivering voice.

“He’s helping Sarah,” your uncle assures you before he turns around to face the truck that you notice is flipped upside down and broken like the others.

“We gotta get off the street!” Your uncle yells, not even seconds later a police siren screech’s out, causing him to run away.

However, he doesn’t make it far because he then falls down on his knees as the car crashes into the truck and triggers an explosion that forces you to close your eyes and squeal.

“Tommy?! Y/N?!”

Your uncle gets up, and you snap your eyes open to look to where you heard your name, seeing the fire envelope both the truck and the police car now.

“Daddy?!” You call out.

“Tommy? Y/N?”

Your uncle approaches the cars on fire and stops by them to crouch and shout. “Head to the river! I’ll find a way.”

You lower your head and see your dad past a gap of the cars on fire. “Daddy?” You call out again.

His eyes snap to you at that moment and he points. “Y/N, you listen to your uncle Tommy, okay?” He says. “Sarah and I will see you again in a bit, okay?!”

You squint to try and see your sister, but you don’t catch a glimpse of her. Much to your disappointment.

“Get her outta here, Joel!” Your uncle yells.

“You take care of her!” Your dad shouts back. “Keep her safe!”

Your uncle nods. “I will. Go!”

Without waiting a moment longer your uncle Tommy begins to walk ahead, towards the bodies, towards the fire, towards people…towards...people eating other people.

“Uncle Tommy,” your jaw drops as tears escape down your cheeks now. “Why…why,” you stammer as your eyes widen in horror. “Is that man biting that other—”

“Hey, you close your eyes,” he cuts you off. “Close your eyes.”

You blink and look back as he makes a turn into a store. You keep your eyes on the man eating that other man as if your eyes were stuck on them, and ask yourself why. You can’t grasp for a single second why they’d do that.

That’s all that occupies your mind besides the horror that paralyzes you, that single question.

You only close your eyes after, hoping it would all be a nightmare, hoping that when you open them again you’ll wake up next to your sister, or your dad.

But no, when you open your eyes you just see bright white lights on the ceiling, and shelves of food. Behind you there’s still fire and people eating other people. And once you get past the cash register your uncle comes to a sudden halt before he makes a sharp turn around to point his gun at a woman bleeding out on the floor.

“Is she gonna eat us?” You utter and keep your eyes on the lady as your uncle slowly walks back.

“No,” he shakes his head. “No. Just close your eyes…”

His words trail off as from the corner of your eye you catch a tall skinny man twitching in between one of the aisles. “Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “There’s one—”

Before you can finish however, the man snaps his head over to you and looks at you for a second before he breaks into a sprint towards you. You scream and your uncle doesn’t hesitate to try and run to the back door.

Nevertheless, the lady that had been on the ground suddenly gets up and heads towards you too.

You open your mouth to try and scream, but not a single sound escapes out of your mouth from the terror, so instead you proceed to squeeze your eyes shut, and press your head against your uncle's shoulder as he runs into the back room.

“Hold on y/n! Hold on!” He yells as you feel him running.

Albeit he suddenly comes to a sudden halt just as you feel the cold breeze hit your body; he moves his leg up and groans before there’s a thud. You want to open your eyes to see, but then in that moment suddenly something grabs you by your hair and yanks you back, forcing you to open your eyes and cry out at the top of your lungs.

“Uncle Tommy!” You screech and claw your nails in his shoulders as you begin to get pulled out from the backpack.

You snap your eyes up and see the lady from before opening her mouth and leaning down to try and bite you with something weird coming out of her mouth. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry again.

A shot then goes off before in a flash of a second your uncle swings his elbow back to smack the woman in the face, causing her to let go of you and let you slide back inside the backpack. He then walks to her and smashes the end of his gun on her face until she doesn’t move anymore.

“Are you okay?” Your uncle asks and doesn’t waste a second to run out of the store, trapping the skinny boy inside. He then proceeds to run into a dark alley and asks another question. “She didn’t bite you?”

With tears streaming down your cheeks you shake your head. “No,” you say between pants. “No. I’m okay.”

“Good,” he mumbles and slows down to a jog. “Let’s go find your dad and sister.”

Once you’re out of the alley you come across a grass field and immediately hear gunshots echo before there’s screams. You don’t think of it at the moment, you don’t think it’s your dad and sister, you don’t actually see anyone until your uncle climbs down a small hill and shoots someone in a uniform. When that man falls down you then see your dad and Sarah lying on the ground.

“Dad—”

“Oh God,” your uncle cuts you off.

You watch your dad look back before he crawls over to Sarah, while your uncle gets closer. And once he does approach them, you see Sarah laying on the ground, you hear her panting and crying, and hear and watch your dad trying to help her.

“Move your hand, baby. Move your hand.”

You lift your head and see your dad press his hand against the blood that comes out of her.

“Sarah,” you call out softly with growing concern.

Your dad tries to help her up, but she begins to scream in protest, making you whimper.

“I know, baby, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know it hurts.”

She keeps crying and panting, she grabs him, but she doesn’t get up.

“Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “What’s happening?”

Yet you’re ignored and the air is filled with your dads voice again.

“I know, I know,” your dad keeps repeating himself as he keeps pressing his hands on her body. “I know this hurts. You’re gonna be okay.”

You blink and slowly begin to grasp that she’s hurt. That she’s crying because she’s hurting.

“Sarah,” you whisper quietly and feel your throat tighten as your eyes sting again.

“All right, baby, baby, baby, listen to me. I gotta get you up, okay? I gotta get you up. All right? You come on.” Your dad begins to lift her up and her screams become more intense, and begin to stab at your heart, filling you concern.

“You come on. I know, baby. No, no. I know, I know. I know, I know. I know. I know. Tommy, help me!” Your dad yells and looks back.

“Joel,” your uncle whispers as Sarah then stops moving.

Your dad looks back at Sarah, and he begins to cry. “C’mon baby girl. C’mon, baby girl. I gotta get you up,” you hear your dad say as he cradles your sister in his arms. “Come on. Come on, we’ll get up. C’mon, baby girl. Come on, come—please.”

Your dad then begins to cry louder and it shatters something in you. You don’t fully understand why, but hearing him cry, seeing him hug your older sister, seeing her not move, it shatters your heart.

You know you’re young, you can’t understand most of what’s happening, but you understand that she’s gone.

Yet you don’t try to move. Tears run out of your eyes, but you don’t move. You just watch her with tears streaming down your face and tell yourself that she’s going to wake up again, that she’ll get up again.

Sarah is going to wake up again…

——

*20 YEARS LATER*

The metal is cold against your fingertips, the silence is deafening in your ears, and the breeze is bitter against the only bit of flesh that’s exposed, your fingertips.

The sky above is littered with gray clouds, providing a dull white natural hue, and adding better cover without having the metal of your weapons reflect around the woods.

The bottom of your boots crack a branch that you didn’t catch before, making you stop and glance around just in case anyone pops out from the tall greenery that covers the forest floor. When no one does you keep stalking forward until just ahead the greenery begins to shake.

You let go of the pendant around your neck and reach for your pistol holstered on your hip, but mock a bird's whistle first and wait for a response.

The greenery then stops and you lower your head to wait with your breath held in your chest.

And luckily seconds later there’s a bark, letting you sigh in relief and finally stand to your feet to continue walking ahead.

“Austin,” you call out.

The greenery continues to shake for a moment longer before your black German Shepherd comes out.

“All good?” You ask rhetorically since he can’t really answer.

He tries his best though and turns to lead you ahead in a trot.

“We’ll camp just ahead,” you keep telling your dog. “Then I can take this stupid thing off,” you grumble and pull on the mask around your mouth.

Austin's ears shift but he doesn’t say anything in response, he keeps trotting through the woods. Until he suddenly halts in his tracks and perks his ears up.

Without hesitation you stop too and glance around, yet you don’t see anyone, nothing moves, there's just wind. However, he’s never wrong so you reach for your rifle strap and slide it off your shoulder. You raise it and slowly begin to look up at the branches above, but then a gunshot echoes and Austin falls to ground without a single pained whimper.

You lower your gun and see blood pouring out of your dog's head. “Austin,” you call out in disbelief, and begin to pant as you see his brown eyes rolled up.

“No, no,” you mutter before you clench your jaw and tighten your hold around your rifle and snap your head up to the point above where the gunshot had sounded from.

Nevertheless, just as you catch a figure disguised amongst the leaves and branches a heavy net falls over you and shoves you to the ground, trapping you under the rope beside the corpse of your beloved dog.

“Fuck,” you mutter and flip to your stomach to grab your rifle off the ground, but then a thump lands beside the net and a boot then is pressed on your wrist, disabling your reach.

“Tsk, Tsk,” the person above you clicks their tongue. “You should be more careful next time,” a scratchy manly voice says, making you go rigid. “Look up at the sky a bit.”

The man crouches down and pulls the net off your body to grab a cluster of fabric from your hood.

“Let’s see what hides beneath the hood,” he chuckles.

You scoff and begin to wiggle your fingers to try and reach for your knife hidden under your cloak.

The man proceeds to pull the hood off your head and quickly grabs you by the back of your head to yank your head up so you can see his dirt covered face, and meet his piercing blue-green eyes. Albeit your face is still partially covered by the mask over your mouth so he grows more curious.

“Hm,” he hums and reaches his long pale finger for the mask to pull it off your mouth, relieving your entire face and the gender you tried to hide for your safety now that you’re alone.

“Well, well,” he says with a malicious smirk. “A woman. Look at her Max. All pretty and shit.” He reaches for your chin, but you pull back.

He scoffs, and you feel the handle of your knife under your fingertips, so you quickly grasp it and throw your hand up to stab his neck, but then, the other man you assume is Max whips wire around your wrists and pulls your hand away from the man above you, causing you to drop your knife.

“She’s brave too. Oh doll face,” the man above you says and hits his chest. “You make my heart yearn.” He snickers and grabs you by your elbow to lift you up.

Yet as he does you swing your nails across his face and scratch him down his cheek, making him yelp like a little wimp and step back.

“Mother fucker,” you spat at his face and swing your fist across his face, feeling something his nose crack at impact.

Max tries to pull you back by pulling the wire, but you then reach for your gun holstered at your side, and quickly wrap the wire around your hand to pull him before you shoot his face.

“Fuck you, that’s for killing my dog bastard,” you sneer, and proceed to turn around to face the other man, to try and kill him too. Albeit you end up ducking as he shoots his pistol.

The bullet hits the tree behind you, luckily, so you then choose to break into a sprint, leaving your rifle behind for now; just until you get rid of this man.

You actually make it a few paces ahead, yet your luck ends at the moment you pass a wide tree surrounded by bushes because someone comes out from your left side and tackles you down to the ground, making you drop your gun.

“Oof,” you breathe out and feel a dull pain radiate on your side.

You quickly slap your hand on the dirt and try to push yourself up, but then a large hand grabs you by your arm and flips you to your back.

It’s another man, this is one plumper than others, but he’s still dirty and nasty. This one pins your wired hand back over your head before grabbing your other hand to do the same and then wrap the wire around both hands.

You try to keep squirming, you try to kick your feet, but then the man crouches down and keeps you from moving, forcing you to see his older and much rounder face.

“So much trouble,” he mutters in a low gravelly voice. “We were gonna take you to our camp, have some of the others have fun, but you’re trouble, we’ll take you here…” he trails off and reaches down for your pendants.

“Get your fucking dirty fingers off me!” You snap, but he pulls a pendant up regardless.

“A firefly,” he reveals as he sees the insignia engraved on one side. “What a surprise you’re all alone, you're all usually traveling in packs.” He scoffs and turns it around to read the name. “Tommy…Miller,” he scoffs and drifts his eyes to you. “Can’t be right. You’re too pretty to be a Tommy.” He winks and lets that pendant go to grab the other one.

You scrunch your nose in disgust, and slowly proceed to drag your leg back to try and knee his ass. But all of sudden something sharp stabs your leg, making you groan in pain.

“I have had enough of your tactics,” the same scratchy voice from a moment ago snaps before he shows his face above the older man’s head. “Go on Mike, show her how to behave.”

The older man snickers and lets your pendant go before he can read your name, and instead reaches for your cloak to rip it off your body.

“No,” you grunt and try to swing your body from side to side, but the man just grips onto your chin and shoves your head down.

“Behave!” He bellows, spitting drops of saliva on your face.

You close your eyes and groan in disgust, but don’t stop fidgeting. He then proceeds to lower his hand down your body to unhook your holster belt from your hip.

“No, please,” you plead, feeling your heart pound in your chest and your head begin to spin with fear.

Yet, to no avail, the man then reaches for your pants.

Albeit just before he can do anything else a gunshot echoes and the man behind the older man drops, causing the older man to let you go and snap his head back. He parts his lips to speak, but before he can utter anything another gunshot goes off and hits him through the head, spilling drops of blood over your face, and making his body begin to fall back.

You catch his movement, and quickly out of adrenaline use the other man’s corpse to push yourself back and get out of the older man’s way before he can fall on you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you say between pants, and even if you’re in pain, terrified, and still shaken with disbelief, you flip around to quickly get on your knees and reach for your pistol thrown on the ground.

“Jace get the wire,” you hear someone say behind you.

You ignore the pounding pain from your leg and crawl forward until a tall young man who seems to be around your age, with a shaved head and a shaved goatee, and who reminds you of your friend from Jackson, gets in front of you.

He’s not dirty though like the other three, he’s not clean either, but he isn’t using camouflage like the others. And he doesn’t have his gun out.

Still you can never be sure with people. They’re worse than infected because at least their actions are predecible, people’s aren't.

“You touch me and I’ll put a bullet through your eyes,” you sneer and point at his hand.

“Whoa, whoa, girl,” the guy, Jace says and raises his hands. “I just want to help. We just saved you!” He exclaims with panic.

You scoff. “So what? Want me to get on my…” you trail off as you catch what you’re going to say and just keep pointing.

“Hey,” the other voice cuts in as you hear his footsteps approach from your side. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

You keep your gun on Jace, but snap your eyes to the side, seeing a man a bit shorter than Jace. His skin is dark, and his eyes even darker. He has a better shaped mustache and goatee than his friend, but shorter shaped eyebrows than his friend. He also…has a nicer face, he’s cute, and more musclery built.

“I’m Henry,” he introduces and points at his chest with one hand whilst he raises the other to show he means no harm. “That’s Jace, my friend.” He points to the other guy, but you don’t bother looking at Jace anymore, you hold Henry’s gaze, as he holds yours, and swallows thickly too.

“Those guys,” he points to the man dead on the ground, “are hunters from the city. We have a camp nearby, we mean no harm. We’re just trying to survive like you. Let us help you.”

You hesitate and keep your eyes on him, finding yourself being able to trust him with his words alone. After all you’ve seen the eyes of evil men, he doesn’t have that look at all.

“Fine,” you mutter and lower the gun to let them drop their guard and their hands. “But if you turn out to be some kinda gang I’ll shoot you first.”

Henry scoffs softly, “fair.” He then begins to approach you, and you let him.

However, before you can meet his gaze as he crouches down in front of you to help you with the wire around your wrists, you look at Jace. “I’m sorry,” you tell him with sincerity.

Jace parts his lips in surprise and lets out a small huff before he retorts, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

You hum and drift your eyes back to Henry to finally give him your name. “I’m Y/N.”

Henry lifts his eyes from the wire and pulls the corner of his lips to a faint smile. “Firefly, huh?” He refers to the pendants hanging from your silver chain necklace around your neck. “We’ve been trying to look for them.”

You scoff and lower your gaze to watch him unwrap the wire. “I used to be one. A long time ago though, sorry to disappoint.”

Henry shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll keep looking.”

You hum and lift your gaze at the same time he does, you part your lips to say something, but you then catch the sound of additional footsteps approaching and quickly look over, catching a little boy that has Henry's complexion, and red paint over his eyes.

They are telling the truth then. They really mean no harm. If they truly did they wouldn't be carrying that little boy with them.

“That’s my brother,” Henry says. “Sam.”

You offer the boy a gentle smile, but he just looks at you up and down before he gets closer to Henry.

“And, it’s off,” Henry assures you as he finally frees your hands from that sharp wire that was cutting your skin.

You sigh in relief and rub your wrists for a second before you fall back on your ass to get a better view of the wound on your leg. “Fuck,” you murmur and lean forward to pull your pant leg up. “Fuck.”

“We have some stuff at camp, you can patch yourself up there.” Henry interjects.

“I have stuff in my backpack,” you counter stubbornly and drop your pant leg to twist around and look at the dead men.

“Well regardless, you can patch yourself up at camp, we need to go, it's going to get dark soon.” Henry adds.

The stupid man you punched has your rifle, fucker. You push yourself to your feet, but it hurts too much to add much more weight now that the adrenaline isn’t pumping in your blood.

“Here,” you hear Henry say before you feel his hand wrap around your arm. “Come on, get up,” he whispers as he helps you to your feet. “You’re okay, you can walk.”

You grunt as the pain pounds harder, and quickly grab his wrist to keep yourself from falling.

“You’re okay,” he assures you again and finally gets you to stand. “There you go.”

You huff out in frustration to your own wound, but you can’t find yourself to be cold, so as you keep your hand on his wrist for…support (not because he’s warm), you drift your eyes to the side, glancing first at his hand around your arm before looking up to meet his gaze.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly.

He holds your gaze and hums as a response.

You let your gazes and touch linger, ignoring the curious stare from his friend Jace.

And after a moment you finally pull away first and immediately limp towards the man with your rifle to yank it off his body. “Fucker,” you grimace before you spit on his face. You then grab your holster belt off the ground and hook back it on your hip, before picking up your cloak off the ground that is now ripped. Great.

Whatever, it can still work.

You throw it over your shoulder and turn to face the direction you had come from.

“Gimme a minute,” you tell the guys and don’t wait for them to say anything before you limp towards Austin.

“Hey, it’s not really safe out there!” You hear Jace shout.

You nod. “Yep!” You yell back. “But you’re gonna help me right?!” You retort.

“I..I guess?!”

You scoff in amusement and notice that they keep their distance, but don’t leave, they just keep their distance and respect what you want.

Once you reach your dog your eyes well with tears, and you fall on your knees by his body.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him as you reach your hand over to close his eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn't get you home. You were good though,” you whisper and slowly caress his side like he liked. “You were a good boy till the end.”

You press your head down against him and muster a wobbly smile. “Ima go home soon, okay? I promise. Rest easy buddy.” You press a kiss on his head and slide your hand over to his neck to untie his orange bandana from his neck and wrap it around your wrist.

——

*LATER*

“So new girl…” a young girl that’s a part of the group says. “Tell us where are you from? I can’t place your accent.”

You look up from the fire burning away the logs and meet her blue gaze.

“Austin Texas,” you reveal. After all, the group you were brought to has been nice so far. And most of them are young, except for the little boy, Sam. There are some older people amongst them, but as Jace helped you patch your leg up he said that most of the adults left when the military left too, leaving behind those they thought wouldn’t survive by themselves.

“Of course that was my home before the outbreak, I’m now from Wyoming, a small town called Jackson.”

You’re hesitant to tell them about your community, about all you have back home. No matter how nice they are you still can’t bring yourself to fully trust them. It’s just a survival instinct.

Then again Jackson is still far, most of them won’t survive the journey. Actually maybe none of them…maybe not even you will.

“A camp?” Jace probes.

You drop your gaze from the girl with red blazing hair that actually called herself Blaze, and hesitate a moment before you nod slowly. “Something like that,” you avoid telling the truth.

If there was one thing you liked about what Joel taught you, it was this, be cautious with strangers. Albeit you also won’t be cold to them forever like he was with people, with time as your leg heals up you’ll watch them, and if they’re actually good enough to these new world standards, then you’ll take after your uncle Tommy and be nice.

“What are you doing all the way out here then?” Henry cuts in, causing you to lift your eyes to look at him across the campfire, and catching him using his hand to also….talk.

“If you’re all the way from Wyoming what are you doing here in Kansas City?” He asks and keeps moving his hands like he was communicating in sign language, like, from the books you’ve read about it.

You scoff and shrug. “I felt…rebellious I suppose,” you begin to smirk. “I wanted to see the country, I saw it, and now I’m on my way back home.”

“Must be nice…” you identify Blaze interjecting. Yet before you can look over at her, you drift your eyes and notice Sam paying close attention to what Henry was signing—actually now that you think about it he hasn't been talking whatsoever.

He probably can’t.

“…having a place to call home, and to go back too.”

“Yeah man,” Jace bounces off Blaze’s comment, pulling your eyes to him sitting beside you. “I don't know why you’d leave.”

Besides, what you just told them, there were also…other reasons, but you won’t share those with them.

You sigh and smile softly at the ground. “I’ll tell you what I told my uncle and my mama Maria…I don’t know when I’m going to die…it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls, I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.”

You look up as you finish speaking and the first gaze you catch is Henry’s. The fire reflects the softness in his eyes, yet you catch the admiration he has for your words, you can’t read that.

“Well shit,” a older Asian man says. “When you put it that way.”

You briefly glance at the man and scoff softly.

“No fireflies for you then?” Jace asks.

You shake your head. “Nope. I’ve been away from home for far too long. My family is waiting,” you sigh.

Fuck.

“My camp is pretty big,” you begin to say regardless of your previous caution. “It’s strong, y’all can come with me if y’all want.” You look at the six people gathered around the campfire and continue. “I know we can take y’all in. There’s more kids,” you mention and look at Sam and Henry. “Food. Power…”

The people around shift in their seats at the sound of your comment, and their eyes widen.

“It’s far from here, but together we’ll be strong,” you finish. “Think about it. Once my leg is all healed I’m leavin’.” You glance around the group again, and now neither of them say anything, there are hopeful looks. It's especially noticeable in Sam's eyes, but they all ponder your invitation.

Then again it is a big risk.

However, it’s the thinking they fall into that leaves the group silent and kinda awkward. Thankfully Blaze breaks it once she can’t take it.

“It’s almost lights out, why don’t we finish with a story?” She looks around, but no one volunteers.

Now you are pretty tired, but this, telling stories is your thing.

“I can go,” you offer and sit up with a growing smile. “Now, I don’t like to toot my own horn…”

You do.

“…but I do produce and act in my own plays back at home, so.” You grin. “I’ll go.”

You clear your own throat and look around at all the faces once before starting. “It is about home, so if you are thinking of comin’ with me, think hard,” you say dramatically. “There’s stories of something, shadows and creepy crawlers that people call Skinwalkers that lurk in the woods. I never believed it, but once when I was out on patrol with my uncle at night, as I was looking through my scope I saw the trees move.” You lick your lips and lower your voice.

“I zoomed in, but nothin’, no infected, no person, just nothin’. I told my uncle, but when he looked nothin’. Thinkin’ it was just my own mind I kept patrolling…until suddenly right. By. My ear there’s a whisper…y/n,” you whisper and lean your face closer to the fire. “I called out, thinkin’ it was my uncle Tommy, but he looks at me like I was crazy and says, I didn’t call you,” you mock his voice.

“I didn't believe him, he likes to play jokes with me,” you continue in your voice and look around at all the amused faces. “Yet I didn’t say anything back, I shrugged it off and kept doing my job. It was quiet for a few seconds, but that’s when I felt a chill crawling up my neck. It was summer, it was warm at night, so it wasn’t because I was cold, it was somethin’ else, somethin’ blowing on my neck. I look back,” you say and act it out. “Nothin’. I look ahead and there in the woods are red eyes staring right back at me.” You scoff and swallow thickly, pretending to be frightened yourself.

“I grab my rifle and look through the scope but nothin’, it’s clear. At this point,” you say and shake your head. “I get close to my uncle, but I don’t tell him anything. I keep lookin’, and as I lower that scope there they are again, bright, blazing red eyes, closer now. And again…y/n—I shake my head, close my eyes, rub em’, and when I open them they’re closer, that chill wraps my entire body now.”

Jace beside you swallows thickly from fear, while Blaze looks unaffected, but you can see her fear make her go rigid. The older people don’t seem bothered but they are entertained, and Henry seems unfazed, Sam however, looks invested.

All their reactions make you happy.

“….I quickly look through my scope, I need to check it out, make sure I’m not goin’ crazy, but I hear my name again, by my ear, a whisper, the voice of my sister who’s been gone a long time….” You swallow thickly and shed a fake tear. “I begin to shake, I want to turn to my uncle, but all I can do is tremble, I can’t move my head. I can’t speak. My gun falls….and there…right in front of me is…is…” you prolong the end as they’re all holding their breaths, and grab a pinch of gunpowder from your pocket to throw it to the fire.

“Nothin’!” You exclaim as the fire sparks and the flames jump up, making some people gasp and others laugh nervously. They all jumped though, you saw it.

Yet when you look ahead, there’s a smile from Sam. Even if he jumped too, he grins.

Henry notices his brother's gesture and scoffs in disbelief before he looks back at you and meets your gaze with a soft smile, and that same soft gaze.

“Don’t worry,” you say and then meet Sam's gaze with an assuring smile. “It’s not real. I’m scared shitless of night patrols so I avoid them,” you chuckle. “So please do consider coming with me. If my uncle hears I spooked y’all away, I’ll get scolded for sure.” You sit back and pat Jace’s shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

“That was a good one,” he mutters nervously.

You look over at him and smile brightly. “Why thank you. I love to hear that.”

“Okay, well thank you,” an older woman interjects. “I for one loved that shift in the atmosphere you brought darling. We needed it.”

You offer her a soft smile and bow your head as a thank you.

“Now it’s light out, Henry, you have night shift today,” the lady continues. “Sam can stay with me. I'll keep an eye out on him tonight.”

Henry gets up and nods in agreement. He then turns to say something to his brother, and Sam seems to look hesitant, but he gives in and stays as Henry begins to walk away.

“Henry!” Jace calls out and shoots up.

Said man stops and peers back to wait for what his friend was going to say.

“Why don’t you take the new girl.” Jace suggests.

What?

You look around in confusion.

“Show her how things are done,” Jace continues and grabs your arm to force you up to your feet, adding a sharp pain to your leg where your wound is. “Y’know so she can pull her own weight until she leaves.”

You sigh, but catch Henry glance at you before he directs you his next word. “Only if you want. You’re hurt, you can rest.”

It’s a new place, surrounded by strangers, you’ll go in your tent but you won’t sleep, so…fuck it. Besides your mind and heart are pushing you to accept.

“Fuck it,” you respond and pull away from Jace. “I’ll go with you. I won’t sleep anyway.”

You peek over at Jace and catch him smirking. He then notices your stare and just offers you a simple tightlipped smile. If you didn’t know better, you might say he’s up to something…

Hm.

You grab your rifle and backpack from the ground and catch up to Henry as he waits for you where he stopped.

“It isn’t far,” he mutters and puts his hands in his pockets as he continues walking with you at his side. “And there are definitely no skinwalkers, so you don’t have to worry.”

You chuckle and nod softly. “‘Kay,” you say and play along. “Thats a fuckin’ relief.”

Henry scoffs softly and briefly glances at you from the corner of his eyes as you take this time, this short silence to then admire the starry sky.

“So,” you interject in the silence and blink to look at Henry. “Tell me, why stay here? In Kansas City, and so close to those hunters too.”

Henry sighs deeply and shrugs, “we’ve been waiting. It’s not so simple with infected, people. Besides, it's not easy finding fireflies.”

You scoff and nod in agreement. “I’ve heard the groups are becoming less and less now. But,” you utter with hope. “You and Sam are welcome to come with me, I have everything mapped out, it isn’t far anymore, we’ll make it there quickly, and with luck we’ll make it there safely.”

Henry hums and makes a soft left turn towards a run down treehouse. “Up here,” he points.

As you approach the steps nailed to the tree you stop and put your hands on your hips as you slowly look up in pain.

“I can give you a boost,” Henry offers. “You shouldn’t put weight on your leg.”

You let out a small sigh and blink to meet his gaze. “I can do it,” you assure him stubbornly, and filled with pride. “Just hold this,” you say and slide your rifle off your shoulder to hand it to him.

Henry takes it and just as he was going to try and argue against you, you rub your hands together first and then grab onto the new slabs of wood that don't match the tree house whatsoever. You then lift your uninjured leg and let the other one just dangle as you strain to push yourself up. Henry folds his arms over his chest and watches you struggle after refusing his help.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

You nod and silence your pained groan. And finally after a few more seconds manage to slap your hands on the floor, and use all your upper strength to pull yourself up. It hurts, it hurts like a bitch, but you get on and turn to look down at Henry with a smile.

“Made it.” You let him know and wink at him, catching him scoff in annoyance before he begins to climbs on, causing you to crawl back to look out the carved window. That’s when you ignore your pain, as you see the blades of grass flowing by the chilly breeze, when you see the glimmer of the moon's light reflect on those green blades. That’s when you just take a moment to enjoy the song of the crickets below.

If you weren’t out here looking out for infected, and people, you’d say it was blissfully peaceful. But you can’t say so.

“I always wanted a treehouse,” you share when you hear Henry climb inside. “My daddy was building me one actually. He and my uncle would build it on their days off, but then,” you sigh sadly. “It happened and I never got it.”

“I had one,” Henry deadpans as he sits next to you.

You roll your eyes to the side, and catch his smirk. “Lucky,” you remark. “What else did you have?”

He begins to smirk and places your rifle down against the window. “A nintendo. It was red, gorgeous. Got it for my 5th birthday. I had that sucker for a few weeks and then bam, had to leave it behind.”

“Sucks,” you whisper. “My sister wanted one too. She never got though, my daddy said she had no use for that kinda stuff.” You scoff and smile softly. “He probably would’ve gotten it for her though, he was a sucker.”

Henry nods slowly and averts his gaze to watch the field ahead. “Was? Is…your dad gone?”

You shrug. “I don’t know,” you mutter. “Last time I heard of him was two years ago before I left. I haven’t heard a thing since. Knowing how he is though, he’s probably still out there, livin’.”

“Sister?” Henry asks.

Perhaps before, years ago, speaking about Sarah would’ve hurt, it would make you sob, but now…as a 24 year old, her death doesn’t tear you down as it once did. Her death does ache you, you’ll always miss your sister, you eagerly wait to see her again one day, but speaking her name, sharing memories doesn’t hurt as badly anymore.

“She passed a long time ago,” you share and drag your uninjured leg up to your chest to rest your chin on your knee. “The day of the outbreak.”

Henry swallows thickly and mumbles, “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine losing a sibling. I can’t imagine losing Sam. I’m sorry.”

You drift your eyes over to him and offer him an assuring smile. “It happened a long time ago, I’ve moved on. Sometimes I’m grateful she didn't get to know this new world,” you continue and look up at the white shining moon. “But when I miss her, when I really miss her, I wish she had lived just to be with me. So I admire you Henry…”

Said man snaps his eyes over to you, and you catch his eyes squint slightly in confusion.

“I know I haven’t known you long,” you continue. “But I admire you for looking out for your little brother.” You begin to smile, and catch his look of disbelief. “I’m the youngest sibling too, so trust me that little boy looks up to you. You treat him well.”

Henry scoffs and nods softly. “I always will. Sam is all I have in this world,” he shares quietly. “I can’t lose him.”

You let out a small breath and leave it at that.

The silence that follows is short, not awkward, it is tension filled but not awkward. He uses the silence to look out for danger, and you use it to think about Joel.

It’s been a long time since you’ve heard about him, but it’s been even longer since you’ve actually seen him. Too long perhaps…

God you should have visited him when you passed Boston….

Sarah would be so mad that it’s been years.

At least you like to think she’d be upset, the sad truth is you hardly knew how your sister really was, all you know was what she showed you; caring, sweet, funny, smart, pretty. Perhaps she’d be mad at him too, perhaps not….You’d never know….

“So, tell me now,” Henry cuts you off from your train of thought. “What do you have in your town?”

You draw in a deep breath and focus on the field. “A lot,” you breathe out. “We have schools, good schools, not those crap military schools. We have…uh,” you begin to smile. “Bars, shops, horses, hot water, chickens and a greenhouse. We have movie nights, and parties,” you grin and lift your head off your knee to turn around and face him. “And of course my plays, which I produce and write myself, it’s always a full house,” you show off with a smug smirk. “And a lot of people our age…I mean,” you stammer and squint your eyes on him. “How old are you?”

Henry meets your gaze and answers without hesitation, “25. What about you?”

You smile. “24. So,” you continue sharing stuff about Jackson. “There’s people our age. Boys, girls,” you wiggle your eyebrows, making him smile and scoff in amusement. “Whatever you're into. We got our own houses,” you grin. “I mean I got my own house. With my guitars, my clothes, which I do miss,” you grin. “And music, I got a record player, cassettes. So you got that to look forward to, your own house. For you,” you say softly now. “And for Sam.”

Henry lowers his gaze and his smile fades. “It’s tempting, it sounds like…heaven almost.”

“I wouldn’t call if that,” you interject and keep your eyes on him.

“Still,” he continues. “It’s tempting. I mean a school for my brother, other kids he can actually be friends with instead of just talking to me,” he scoffs softly. “A place of our own. A community…girls,” he teases and meets your gaze.

You roll your eyes, but can’t help your faint smile from tugging on your lips.

“You don’t have to decide now,” you assure him. “Think about it.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I want to go. It’s better than taking ourselves to the fireflies, I mean we’ll always be moving with them, at least with you,” he says and holds your gaze with a soft look that makes your heart begin to beat faster. “We can sort of have something stable, even if it’s just for a little while….let me just see the others off and I’ll go with you. That is…if you’ll wait for me?”

You offer him a soft smile and nod softly. “I would,” you mutter softly.

Henry mirrors your smile, and for a moment, for a moment that seemed to go on for eternity, it was just him and you under the moonlight's hue, in the silence of the night, two beating hearts, two pairs of desire-filled gazes.

Your uncle Tommy found someone, why can’t you? Why shouldn’t you?

You deserve some taste of bliss.

“So,” you break the tension and slide your backpack off your shoulders. “You wanna listen to some of my music or what. I got some sick tunes.” You snicker at yourself and unzip your backpack to pull out a Walkman littered with stupid stickers, and black earphones. “We’ll listen to it low so we don’t miss anything,” you assure him and show off your things to Henry.

“But if it is bad,” he says and grabs an earphone to put it in his ear. “I will make fun of you.”

“Trust me,” you say confidently. “You won’t. But do keep in mind I had to leave a lot of my cassettes behind.” You press play and the first song that plays is ‘Time After Time’ by Cyndi Lauper.

Once she begins to sing, Henry immediately stifles his laugh.

“What?” You quip. “You don’t like it? I think it’s great,” you trail off and listen to the song with a smile, as soon as the chorus begins to play though, you snap your head to the side and begin mouthing along to the words.

Henry snorts and shakes his head. “You truly are something,” he comments. “How do you do It?”

You roll your head to his side and just answer bluntly. “I choose not to live a boring life.” You scoff in amusement and lick your lips to answer more seriously. “This outbreak took so much already, I can’t let it take me. Who I am.” You meet his gaze and sigh. “That’s all I have.”

Henry smiles softly and nods. “I admire you then. For that.”

You scoff and roll your head to the other side to hide how flustered you are.

You then sit in silence to listen to the song. When the next song plays however, it’s a song called by Outkast, Henry is going to comment on it, but before he can, you both hear footsteps approaching, and stiffen.

It’s coming from inside the perimeter, so you don’t quickly pull your rifle to you, but you do reach for your holstered blade, whilst Henry takes his earphone off and stands up to peek down the entrance of the treehouse.

You grab the edge of the window to pull yourself, but just as you were trying, Henry’s shoulders fall and he quickly throws you a comment, “it’s okay, it’s just Sam.”

Since you can’t move that much you just sit back down and put a pause on your music.

Once the little boy climbs in, his eyes find you, but he quickly looks back at his brother as he begins to sign to him.

“What are you doing up here?” Henry asks out loud as he communicates with his hands.

The little boy lets out a small breath and responds back, causing Henry to translate.

“Miss Daphne was snoring already. It’s early I wanted to come keep you company.”

You scoff softly at the response, finding it sweet.

“I have company,” Henry responds and then points at you before he signs letters—he signs your name, you know that much. “Y/N. You should be sleeping.”

The boy shrugs, and responds.

“Later,” Henry translates before he sighs and gives in to what the boy wants.

“You are very welcome to join us and stare at nothing, Sam,” you say and look at him, seeing Henry translate for you.

Sam's eyes drift to you, and you recognize the thank you sign he gives you. He then goes and sits at Henry’s other side as Henry takes his seat again.

“So,” you add. “If I wanted to get his attention, how would I do that?” You ask Henry.

“Tap his shoulder,” he shares and translates what he says since Sam is watching. “He can read lips, so just make sure to talk slowly and face him when you want to talk to him….thank you for asking.”

“Of course,” you nod.

Sam then begins to sign something as he meets your gaze. And once he’s done Henry translates.

“He’s curious to know how you’re brave to travel alone.”

You scoff softly and correct him. “I wasn’t alone,” you say sa you face Sam, while Henry translates. “I had friends, and my dog, Austin. But…” you sigh sadly. “They’re gone now.”

“Still,” you hear Henry say for Sam. “You were alone, I don’t think I could be that brave.”

You offer the boy an assuring smile and share your truth. “I was scared. I am scared, but you know what keeps me brave?” You ask rhetorically. “When I feel lost, when I feel scared, I look for hope. I look for the light. Because that’s all we have, if we’re not brave, hopeful, we lose, and we’re not losers, are we?”

Sam smiles and shakes his head.

“Good,” you tell him and briefly meet Henry’s gaze.

However, you then get an idea and jerk up.

“But,” you add. “You know what also helps…” you trail off and take off your chain necklace to carefully pull out your Uncle Tommy’s pendants and leave one of yours hanging from it.

“This,” you continue. “And drag yourself a bit closer to both boys. “This is my firefly pendant, when I feel scared, I hold my uncle's pendant and it helps. So whenever you feel scared, just hold it in your hands, okay?” You push the chain necklace towards Sam, but he first looks to his brother for reassurance to check if it’s okay.

And Henry first looks at you. “Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. “I’m sure,” assure them. “I have another one. And I have my uncles with me, that’s all I need.”

Sam looks at the pendant and carefully takes the chain from your hand. He admires the firefly emblem for a second before he smiles and puts it around his neck. He then looks back up at you and grins as he once again gives you his thanks.

This time however he adds a comment. “I like you,” Henry translates.

You shoot him a smile and shrug smugly. “Thank you, you boost my ego.” You giggle and catch Henry’s gaze on you, it glimmers under the moonlight, and his smile softens before he mouths to you.

“Thank you.”

You offer him a sweet smile before you look out as the room falls silent again.

And as you watch the grass flow, as you sit under the moonlight and glance at the stars, Henry watches you for a lingering moment with a longing gaze before he pulls his jacket off and puts it on your shoulders.

You get surprised by the weight, but feel your heart flutter when you realize what he did.

“You’ll get cold,” he whispers.

You have a jacket and a warm poncho packed, but he’s being sweet, plus you like his gesture; it’s like something you’ve seen done in movies—And you like seeing his smile when you don’t turn down his gesture.

You deserve a taste of bliss. Someone to call your own, like how your uncle Tommy has Maria.

You deserve it and nothing can get in the way of it. Of what you’re feeling for him. What you want to happen. Nothing.

A/N- Before you ask yes Joel still has the drawing y/n drew him….AND one more thing…how do you think she’ll react when she sees her dad after years and sees Ellie with him?

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u

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lovelettersforthedamned · 6 months

Text

Happy Birthday! From, Your Girls.

--genre + trope: ANGST, hurt/NO COMFORT, fluff in the beginning, saw (safe for work)

--pairing: joel miller x f!reader

--word count: 4.5k

--summary: you cannot wait to celebrate joel's birthday as he's surrounded by family, but plans are cut short due to a mysterious virus going around town.

--warnings: fluff (barely), ANGST, hurt/NO comfort, outbreak day, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS, descriptions of injuries, weapons, violence, reader is the same age as joel, canon divergence, proposal, reader is a mom to sarah (not her birth mom).

--gif credits: @elysean

Joel was never a birthday person if there is even a word for that. It’s not that he hated his birthday, he just wasn’t a celebratory type of guy. When Sarah came into his life, it changed things. There was a whole new person in his life to love and cherish, and most importantly celebrate. Sarah made it worth it. Then, you randomly showed up. You love to celebrate everything and anything, even the little things. There was no goal Sarah scored in soccer left ignored, and of course, no birthday left without a special something for the person involved.

Joel was called into work early this morning, too early, but you figured this would happen. After he fell asleep last night, you snuck out from his hold to place sticky notes on places you knew he’d find them. There was a sticky note on his toothbrush, right on top of his pile of work shirts in the dresser, and the last one placed right on his keys. Each of them had a sweet note on it, followed by a messy little heart placed right at the bottom. He smiled to himself as he pockets two of them, and places the third in his wallet, next to a Polaroid of you and Sarah.

In the picture, you have the widest smile painted on your face. He remembers taking it on your Christmas trip to Boulder last year. The snow is falling and you hugging Sarah tight due to both of you almost falling over in the slick terrain. He finds himself staring at it for a while, reminiscing about the tender moment shared between the three of you. He puts the photo back in his wallet and runs back upstairs to give you both a peck on the forehead before grabbing a banana and heading out to work.

A few hours pass before your alarm goes off to take Sarah to school, slowly rising from your bed to look at the sun gleaming in through the window. You quickly get ready for the day before heading to Sarah’s room to check if she’s awake. Knocking before coming in, you greet her with a grin before embracing her with a tight hug. “Good Morning, love bug! You almost ready to head downstairs?” You ask, already making your way towards her door.

She responds with a nod, “Yep, is Dad already gone?”

“Yeah, he got called into work early, but I think he should be home before 6 today,” You add, “We’ll have dinner with Uncle Tommy tonight when Dad comes back.” She nods her head as you make your way downstairs into the kitchen. Pulling out the eggs, you hear the front door open. Whipping your head behind you, you see Tommy walk through the living room and sit at the table.

“Did you wish your brother a happy birthday?” Turning around, you ask with your hand on your hip.

“What did you get Joel? Theoretically speaking.” He responds, ignoring your question.

You look back at him in shock and confusion, “Don’t you think it’s a little late to be asking me that question?”

He raises his hands in surrender, “I said theoretically!”

Before you could reply, you hear Sarah’s footsteps descend the stairs, “You really didn’t get him a present?”

“Once again, I said theoretically…Did you get him a present?” He squints his eyes, questioning the teen.

“Of course I did,” she retorts back, “Because I’m a good daughter.”

Shaking your head you hand Sarah her plate of scrambled eggs, “Okay, okay. Eat your breakfast before you’re late for the bus.”

You sit with the both of them as you take this moment in. Knowing what Sarah’s birth mom did, you were hesitant to let Joel introduce you to Sarah and Tommy. It’s not that you knew that you would leave, it was that you were scared that they thought you were going to. Of course, Sarah was timid with you in the beginning, she didn’t want to get hurt, and you understood that. The process of relearning for Sarah was slow but steady. Now that you’ve been with Joel for five years and some change, she knew you were here to stay. She’s growing up with you, and you were so happy to be there to witness it all.

The honking of the school bus woke you from your thoughts as you gathered her backpack and water. “Bye Mom, bye Uncle Tommy! Love you!”, she yells as she swiftly walks to the door.

You raise your hand to wave her goodbye, “Bye love bug! I love you too!”

…

Hours pass as you finally get to sit on the couch. You’ve been running around the house all day cleaning and decorating for when Joel comes back home. You didn’t do anything too extravagant, knowing that Joel isn’t particularly fond of flashy things. Just a simple handmade poster with a ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM YOUR GIRLS (AND TOMMY)’ written across it and his present wrapped and placed on the table. You made a photobook of all the pictures you had of Joel, including ones with occasional guests. Sarah was in most of them with him, along with Tommy. At the end of the book, there's a page-long letter addressed to him, filled with adoration for the man you’ve been able to share your life with. Looking at the clock nearby, you see that it’s already time for Sarah to arrive home from school. As if on cue, you see the yellow bus roll to a stop in front of the driveway. And outcomes Sarah, making her way to the door.

She sees the poster first, staring at it for a second. “Oh no, does it look ugly?” You worry.

She quickly turns towards you, “No! No, not at all. I think it’s really cute, Dad will love it.”

“You think so?” asking her.

Making her way towards you, ditching her backpack in the process, she cuddles up next to you, “I know so,” she confirms, “Even if he hated it, he wouldn’t tell you because he loves you so much.”

“Oh like that is supposed to make me feel better,” rolling your eyes sarcastically.

You pass the time by talking about Sarah’s present to him, helping her with her homework, and preparing dinner. Two hours pass before you both turn your head to the sound of the door being unlocked. Ditching the homework entirely, you and Sarah run to greet Joel as soon as he steps into the home. At the same time, you hug him. Enveloping him in a group hug so strong, he almost topples over. Scattered greetings ‘Happy Birthday’ are flowing throughout the room. While smiling he replies, “Thank you girls…God I’ve missed you both.” He pulls back to see the poster taped to the wall and smiles again. This was all you needed, Joel and your little girl all together. “Where’s Tommy?” Joel wonders out loud as he pulls away.

“I think he’s on his way,” you reply, “With a cake.”

“Darlin’, I didn’t need a cake.” He argues.

Furrowing your eyebrows together in confusion, “Of course, you need a cake, it’s your birthday for God’s sake!”

Sarah butts in, “Saying that you don’t need cake on your birthday is like saying a plant doesn’t need water, it’s wrong.”

A breathy chuckle leaves his lips, “Yeah…I guess you’re right baby girl.”

Joel goes upstairs to change and get comfortable for dinner, and now apparently cake, to his surprise. While he’s changing, Tommy walks in with no cake in hand. Seeing him empty-handed you speak, “Hey, where’s the cake?”

He sighs and shakes his head slightly, “Fuck, I forgot it, but give me fifteen minutes and I’ll come back with-”. He gets interrupted by Joel coming down the stairs.

“Happy birthday brother,” he says as he brings Joel in for a hug.

As Joel pulls away he also notices the lack of cake and a guilty look on Tommy’s face, “Hey, it’s okay. I think we still got ice cream in the freezer.”

You all walk towards the kitchen and help yourselves to the dinner you’ve made. The night is full of stories of Joel when he was a teenager that you’ve probably heard a dozen times before, but you don’t care. Joel and Tommy are going back and forth, throwing their heads back in laughter as a few swear words are dropped at the dinner table. Followed by a light-hearted, ‘Don’t say those words, they’re bad’ spiel directed to Sarah as she rolls her eyes. The energy between the four of you was warm and comforting. Nearing the end of the night, the lights are off, except for the flickering candle placed in the middle of a bowl of ice cream. Off-tune singing was all that was heard throughout the hallways of the home, followed by the cheers and whistles when Joel blew out the flame.

Joel decided not to open presents in front of everyone, he always thought it was so awkward, so after a while of lounging at the table, Sarah headed upstairs. Another few minutes pass by before Tommy decides he's ready to head out as well, not before wishing his brother another ‘Happy Birthday’ and an embrace for the both of you. As you wave Tommy goodbye, you turn towards the birthday boy and give him a small peck, “Did you have a good day today?”

“I spent it with my family,” he grins, “How could I not have a good day?” He shuts the door and leads you to the couch, slightly groaning as he sinks into it. Swinging his arm over your shoulders, he pulls you in tighter. “Thank you for today.” He says quietly.

You nuzzle into his neck, “Of course, my love. Any reason to celebrate with you, I will do with pride.” He looks down at you as you look up at him, traveling through each detail of his irises as you take him in. Joel leans in closer to lock his lips onto yours. There is no hidden intention of taking it further, he just wants to be with you in the most intimate way possible. You’ve been so kind to him, and he finds that words aren’t enough to express that. You pull away as he drags a blanket across your body, kissing the crown of your head in the process. He reaches for the outline of his left pocket to grab the ring box and make sure it’s still there. He’s never been good at making romantic plans, he usually leaves that to you, so as he sits there he decides that he could wait one more night before asking the question. Choosing to savor the quiet life he’s built with you. You don’t know how long you stay like that before you doze off, Joel quickly follows as well.

…

Joel wakes up first, the distant sounds of commotion ring in his ears. Fluorescent lights flash through the window as he turns to look outside. The cul de sac is quiet, but the loud sounds of aircrafts above start to stir you awake.

You look towards the clock to see it’s only two in the morning. “What’s going on?” There is a hint of worry in your voice.

Joel responds as he rises from the comfortable position on the couch, “I’m not sure, go get Sarah.” There was a sense of urgency in his voice, not helping your now panicked state.

Nodding, you run up to Sarah’s room. She was already awake and peering out her window. Without leaving her spot by the window, she turns towards you, “Mom, what’s happening?” You walk towards her, looking with her to see if you can get a better view of whatever was occurring outside the safe walls of your home.

“I’m not sure baby,” you shrug, “Just put your shoes on, Dad’s downstairs.” She puts her shoes on as you make your way down to Joel. He’s looking at the TV before he looks at you two. The screen shows a message saying, ‘NATIONAL ALERT. PRIMARY ENTRY POINT SYSTEM ISSUED AN EMERGENCY ACTION NOTIFICATION’. The first sentence was all Joel needed to start moving.

He grabs whatever he can and puts it into a nearby duffle bag he found in the closet. He even grabs his pistol from a high cabinet in the hallway, checks for bullets, and shoves it into the waist belt of his jeans. While Joel is running around the living room, you put your shoes on and take a glance over at Sarah. She’s staring out at the front yard, breathing heavily. You look at what she could possibly be staring at, and you witness the impossible. Your elderly neighbor is fully sprinting out of her house, blood covering the entire front of her nightgown. “Joel!” You shout.

He focuses on you and your wide eyes, then directs his attention to the commotion outside. The woman, standing in the middle of the street in a crooked stance, her mouth was agape and seemed to have strings reaching out of it. There was nothing to explain what was going on, but Joel’s mind was focused on one thing, and that was to keep his girls safe. “Stay here,” Joel says sternly. As soon as those words leave his mouth, it seems to have grabbed the attention of your neighbor outside. She starts to walk slowly, creeping towards the house, then she breaks into a sprint towards your home. All you can do is start to brace to sprint before a truck slams into the older woman and kills her instantly. Sarah hides her face in your chest, unable to process what just happened. Still observing the scene in front of you, you realize the man in the truck was Tommy. He yells out for Joel, then your name, then Sarah’s. You run outside to meet him on the passenger side of the vehicle, a shotgun in his arms. You quickly usher Sarah into the backseat to avoid her seeing the body lying just in front of Tommy’s car. Quickly following her inside, the brothers hop in the front before driving away.

Sarah is still at your side, clinging onto you as if you’ll slip away if she lets go. Joel’s gruff voice echoes through the car, “What the hell is goin’ on?”

“I don’t know,” he replies, “But it’s not lookin’ good. People are running throughout the neighborhood. The old woman outside your house isn’t the only one who’s like that. They’re sayin’ it’s a parasite, some kind of virus.”

You’re suddenly very conscious of your body, and how you’re feeling. “How do you know if you’re sick?” You speak up for the first time since being in the car. You’re met with the sickening silence from both men up front.” How do you know-”, you raise your voice slightly before being cut off by your boyfriend.

“We’re not infected. We��re not.” He states, plain and simple, like this would fix all the worries plaguing your mind.

Rivers of break lights flood your eyes. “Looks like everyone had the same idea, fuck!” Tommy yells.

Joel interjects, “Just cut through the field and we’ll rejoin it further ahead.” He didn’t know if his plan would work, it just kept them moving.

Tommy turns his wheel to drop abruptly into the grass beside the highway. You look behind you to see that a few cars had the same idea as you speed towards anywhere but here. Words spoken between Joel and Tommy start to drown out as you look at Sarah, who is now holding onto your waist. Tears well up and cling to your waterline. Waves of confusion and anxiety dance throughout your body. Everything happened so suddenly and with such violent action that you almost forget what was being celebrated hours before.

You caress Sarah’s head as you look out the window. There’s more noise surrounding you as you realize you’re heading towards town. A few people run past the car frantically, trying to escape the terrors of what’s happening outside. A few turned into crowds, all around the truck trying to escape people that looked similar to your neighbor. On the main street, you had the perfect view of the worst of it. Some cars had crashed into street lights, bodies splayed all across the sidewalk, and fires erupting from the buildings lined up on the side of the road. A steady flow of planes fly above you, the slightest gap in between each of them. Everyone had the same idea, escape the area as fast as possible with no guarantee of safety at the destination ahead.

Tommy is trying his best to avoid the people scattered on the pavement, struggling to escape the infected while also avoiding moving cars like Tommy’s in the process. Unlike his brother, Joel doesn’t seem to care about the people in the way, telling Tommy to keep going.

Suddenly a flood of people began to run towards the car, prompting Tommy to put the gear in reverse and make his way back to find a quick escape in an alley. In the distance, one of the planes taking off suddenly loses control, quickly descending as it makes its way towards the truck. Tommy quickly shifts gears again and slams onto the pedal, trying to make it as far away from the plane as possible before it touches the ground. A bright explosion lights up the crowd behind you before debris hits the side of the truck and topples the car.

Your vision flashes as you fight unconsciousness. The sound of someone calling your name…not just someone...Joel? Or Tommy? Or Sarah. You try to blink back the hazy feeling creeping up on you…

“Get her out,” the voice sounded muffled like you were underwater. The speaker is not registering in your mind. You feel your body being pulled in some direction. You groan as you push yourself from the person's grasp, “Don’t you dare, darlin’.” Joel. You allow yourself to be pulled from the ground.

That's when you snap back to reality. You shoot up from the ground, pain flaring in your head and on your side, “Where’s Sarah?” Your voice comes out raspy and sharp.

“M-mom!” Sarah cries out to you Sarah is standing close behind Joel and Tommy. As she’s slightly leaning her weight onto one foot while the other lays limp.

“What happened?” You demand, now panicked.

The group starts walking before you can get a definitive answer from Joel, “We have to keep moving, c’mon!”

Commotion still rang out from every direction as you tried to hustle your way out of there. You didn’t dare look down at your side, not when there were bigger problems, including your daughter’s inability to walk. Joel realizes the severity of Sarah’s injury and picks her up as she holds on tight to her dad’s neck. Tommy is leading the group through side streets while Joel is behind him, leaving you at the end. Maybe this was for the better, you didn’t want Joel to see your now bleeding side. There is enough going on, you didn’t need to add to the list.

As you’ve finally made it into a clearing in a field, that’s when the fatigue of it all catches up to you. Your breathing is heavy and rough, and it feels like your limbs have weights attached to them, slowly pulling you to the earth. You’ve been holding your side to alleviate the pain, but it has done nothing. Joel and Tommy are occupied, their backs are turned trying to figure out what comes next in their hectic plan to get all of you somewhere safe. “Jo-Joel?” The weakest voice leaves you. They both turn, Joel still holding Sarah in his arms, as they witness you bend at the knees and fall to the ground.

“Woah, woah, woah-Hey!” Tommy yells out.

Joel is the first one to make it to you, kneeling near your head and holding it. Sarah forces herself away from Joel and sits right next to your abdomen. She glances to the deep gash starting right above your hip, and ending an inch away from your navel. She calls for her dad quietly before gathering his attention to the wound. Seeing you in this state set Joel off in a panic, “Oh, my god…What happened? What happened darlin’, what happened?” Tommy has been standing near you, acting as a protector while also paying close attention to your actions. Your eyes are barely open, but you can see the situation perfectly clear. You weren’t going to make it.

Taking in a sharp and shaky breath you mutter, “Sarah, Joel…I love- I love you both, so-so much. Thank you.” Tears prick your eyes, knowing this will be the last moments with your family. You turn your head to Tommy who is now looking at you, “Thank you,” an abrupt gasp escapes, “thank you.”

Joel and Tommy realize that there’s nothing they can do, but Sarah has a harder time grasping that. Her voice laced with sobs call out for you, “Mom, please…please don’t go-please!”

You reach up for her face and caress her cheek, glancing at her tired frame, “Being your mom was the best thing I’ve ever done love bug, I will love you for forever and ever.” You realize another person is leaving her for good, and that breaks your heart a million times over again. “I am so sorry, I love you so much.” Another apology, maybe it’s not your fault you’re leaving, but this little girl has been through too much at such a young age.

It was your turn to say your goodbyes to Joel, but he cuts you off, “Darlin’ before you say anything, I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, but I’ve been too god damn scared. This is never what I wanted when I thought of when I’d do this, but I need to do this right now.” He reaches for the same square box he felt a few hours before, but this time he pulls it out and opens the box. Your eyes fall to ring, then rise to meet his gaze. Joel begins to speak again, not before a tear falls from his eye, “There was not a moment from when I first met you to now where I didn’t think I was going to marry you. You love, and you love unconditionally, and that is something not only I needed, but what Sarah needed as well. God, we love you so much and I can’t picture a moment further where we aren’t husband and wife. Will you marry me?”

You use the last of your strength to nod weakly as you raise your left hand. Joel slips the ring delicately on your finger as he smiles amidst a sob. Leaning in he presses a passionate yet soft kiss to your lips, he’s able to kiss his wife for the first time. Pulling back he’s noticed your breathing has slowed and you don’t open your eyes. The hand held by Sarah lays limp in her palm. “Darlin’-I’m…F-FUCK,” he screams. He rests his forehead on yours and mutters endless apologies, hoping somehow you could hear them, “C’mon (Y/N), please,” His voice breaking, “Please don’t leave us. Don’t leave me.”

There’s a moment that passes where Joel can’t hear anything around him, a high-pitched ringing floods his surroundings. He lost you, and he can never get you back. He thinks he’s a failure, a burden, a bad husband. That’s all he can think about as Tommy is trying to get him up, “Joel! Joel, I’m sorry, but we have to keep moving, I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah…okay,” Joel places one last lingering kiss on your forehead before pulling Sarah back in his arms. Sarah still has tears bordering her lash line, threatening to spill. They only make it a few feet ahead before they’re met face-to-face with a man in a military uniform.

His weapon is pointed directly at Tommy, “Put the gun down, now!”

Tommy lowers his gun and drops it to the floor, yet the man ahead of them still has his drawn and finger hovering over the trigger. This time it was Joel’s turn to speak up, “We are not infected. We are not-”. A bullet interrupts his sentence. They both duck down as they figure out if anyone was hit. A whimper from Sarah answers that question.

She’s in shock by the time Joel lays her on the ground and Tommy quickly picks up his shotgun and shoots the man dead. “No, no, no, no…not you too, please no,” Joel pleads. He pushes on her stomach where the bullet entered only to realize that it went straight through. The pain starts to seep into Sarah’s senses now and makes it even harder to keep applying pressure, even though it won’t help. This feels like deja vu for Joel, except he knows this has happened before because he can see your body as he glances back toward town. Joel feels like he can’t speak, all he can say is ‘I love you’ over and over again. Making it known that he’s always loved and will continue to love his daughter. Her breathing is shallow and fading fast. He can feel his daughter’s light slip from his hold until she’s completely dark, eyes staring into the night sky with such dullness. Joel flickers his gaze all across her face, looking for a sign of her to come back, but he finds nothing. “Sarah, baby-oh god. No!” He screams for the second time tonight. He lifts her toward his chest and cries out in sheer pain. He lost both of his girls tonight, and he doesn’t know what to do now.

Picking her up, he carries Sarah over to where you lay in the grass. Tommy follows closely behind, a weight present in the way he walks. Joel carefully places his little girl right next to you and closes Sarah’s eyes. He stands back up to look at you both. To Joel, you guys fell asleep in the grassy field, cuddled together as you soaked in the stars. To Joel, he spent his birthday with you and Sarah, ending the night in this field. He’d take a picture of your sleeping forms and replace the picture in his wallet with this one. To him, he started the day with his daughter and girlfriend asleep and ended the day with his daughter and wife asleep.

--author's note: i...am so sorry, i cried while writing this LOL. the last paragraph killed me if i'm being completely honest, like woah. pls don't forget to like, comment, and reblog! SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS PLEASEEE. okay thank you so much for reading this, take care of yourself ily bye.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #hbo tlou #tlou #joel tlou #f!reader #ANGST #so sad #joel miller angst #joel miller hurt #joel miller oneshot #pedro pascal #pedrito #light fluff #heavy angst #sarah tlou #tommy tlou

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