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#sarah: im so happy for you boys
lesbiradshaw · 2 years
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malfoyfarms · 1 year
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She Wanted You
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JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader
Word Count:1.4k
Warnings:none
A/n: angst bc im boycotting watching season three LOL, not my gif
“What do you mean she left?” JJ questioned, dumbfounded. He didn’t realize it, but he was walking into a war zone. The Chateau no longer had the same feel. It was like someone sucked the air out, and pumped smog in. 
With tears in his eyes, John B pointed towards his sister’s room. Sarah and Pope were lingering in there, but JJ had no idea why. The room was oddly neat, incredibly out of character of the girl who resided there. Her closet was emptier than usual, the three picture frames that once had pictures of her with her family and friends were empty. What caught JJ’s eyes next, made his mouth go dry. His breath was no longer there. The navy sweatshirt he had given her years ago was folded, on the bed, next to the pillow he always claimed during their relationship. Atop the sweatshirt was a ring from a gumball machine, an orange and green friendship bracelet made of paracord, and a pile of notes written on scraps of random papers. Every other personal belonging was missing from its spot. 
JJ tore through the girl’s nightstand, and when he realized the box of her life savings was gone, he let out a string of colorful words and kicked the stand.
“Here, you should read this.” Sarah handed him a neatly written note. By the tear stains on Pope’s face, the somber tone from the kook, and JB’s raging anger, it was a farewell. 
He took a deep breath, and swiped the letter from Sarah. The familiar handwriting was already pulling at his heart.
J,
I’ve rewritten this letter four times already, and I still don’t know how to put my thoughts into actual words. Firstly, I love you. I love you until the waves stop coming in. I love you so much that I knew I needed to leave. I’ve known since you wandered home with John B in third grade, and gave me all the answers (even though they were wrong) to my math homework that if there was going to be another boy in my life, he was going to have to fight you for that spot. From 7 years old, I only ever wanted you. But over the last two years, I can see that I’m not the one for you. And that is why I’m leaving. One of the only things that got me through my day was seeing you smile, but I understand that there is someone else who causes those crinkles by your eyes.
I have to leave because it’s too painful. I need time to have all your kisses leave my body, I need to leave because I can’t smell the ocean, listen to Akon and Konvict, or even wash my fucking clothes without thinking of you. I see you in body language, in the waves, in every damn aspect of my life. Not only are we ingrained on this island, but you are ingrained in me. If I’m ever going to come home I need to remove every trace. 
I told you last week, I’d always be on your team, even from a distance. I need you to pursue Kiara because there is nothing more I want for you than happiness. Deep down, I know it will always be her. While that sentence feels like a shot, I’m coming to terms with it. 
Don’t try to come find me, either. I won’t be going to any of the places we’ve ever talked about, I do have my secrets still. Not Yucatan, not Tybee, and certainly not Jekyll. Take care of my brother.
All my love, 
Y/N
“When did you and Y/N break up?” Sarah asked. JJ couldn’t even think straight. Y/N and the boy broke up about a week ago, for that specific reason, JJ thought there was something there with Kiara. He didn’t think the girl would pick up her stuff and bolt. Leave her brother, her best friends, and the life she claimed to love. 
“I, uh, initiated it last week or so,” he stuttered, “it wasn’t definite or anything, but it was insinuated I guess. We had a conversation about it, but I don’t think I ever could have said it out loud.”
“Oh,” she thought. “You know she really loved you with every bone in her body.”
He sucked in a deep breath to try to keep his tears at bay. How could he walk out to the front room and face John B. He was the reason the youngest Routledge had left. With Big John gone, she was all he had left. Hell, with Luke gone, she was all JJ had too. In some form he robbed his friends of a family member. 
JJ laid down on the neatly made bed and latched onto the sweatshirt that smelled just like her. His memory flooded with images of Y/n in that sweatshirt. From it covering her bikini when they went night swimming, it being the one sweatshirt that was specifically for after she came home from school, the one thing that grounded her when she was having a rough day. JJ felt his chest start to tighten, and his hands were clammy and shaking. 
“I thought you said you’d never break her heart!” JB screamed. Impeccable timing. 
“John B don’t–” Sarah tried to interject.
“No Sarah, he promised. He promised me almost three years ago that if I gave him permission to date Y/n, he wouldn’t hurt her. He knew he’d be breaking more than just her heart. And now I can’t even help her pick up the pieces. I can’t fix my baby sister, the way she fixed each and every one of us!” 
“Bro, you think this is what I wanted? I had a conversation with her. Nothing was definitive. It’s not my fault she took her shit and ran!”
“When has Y/n ever not taken her feelings and ran? Name one time!”
JJ sat there in thought, and there had been one time she didn’t run, and he had promised that he wouldn’t tell. He was going to anyway.
“When you disappeared. I held her while she cried herself to sleep for nights on end. So don’t act like I never treated her right. You know I did.” JB ran his hands through his hair and left the room. 
“Until you decided you may have feelings for the girl who is like her big sister.” That stung. 
“What’s going on?” Kie asked.
“She’s gone.” John B said. “‘Cuz JJ’s in love with you.”
~~
JJ sat in the hammock, wearing the navy sweatshirt he hadn’t worn in years. It smelled just like her. He could even feel the marks of where she rolled the sleeves and dug her thumbs into the side. 
He barely remembered last week’s conversation about Kie, but never did he think that it would cause you to disappear. Y/n was so incredibly loyal. She wanted him. Every. Damn. Day. She wanted him when the clouds were out, and the usually blue sky was gray. She wanted him when he was bruised and beat up, she wanted him when he was crabby after a 14 hour shift, she wanted him at every hour of the day in any way she could have him. 
It was just a conversation, he thought. He never flat out said that he was leaving her for the tanned, wealthy kook. 
He felt so fucking stupid. He felt so much self-hatred. He remembered when they were 12 and 14, and Y/n wanted to walk to the gas station a few streets over, but John B wouldn’t go with her. He remembered what she usually bought. Peach iced tea, sour straws and a bag of munchie mix. Every single time. 
He remembered when the girl got drunk for the first time and dialed him to come get her. God, she was so inebriated. She clung to the boy, giggling profusely. That was the first night she ever told the boy she loved him. Y/n never knew it, but JJ kept that memory locked in his head. 
He pondered the time she was ready to give him her virginity. He remembered how nervous she was, but how much she trusted him. 
It had grown dark by the time he wandered back into the Chateau. He was surprised JB didn’t kick him out, he fully expected to be out on the streets by now. As he stumbled towards the bedrooms, he went past his own, and fully dove into the light purple sheets he had come to love. She’ll come back, he thought. She has to.
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luversgirl · 2 months
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MY OBX REC LIST, part six
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( ☾ = angst, ☆ = head-canon, ❀ = fluff, ✧ = smut )
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rafe cameron
— his guardian angel ❀ ☾ ( part two )
— can’t remember anything before you ❀
— modern romeo and juliet ❀
— inside of me ( woah. )
— please forgive me ☾
— meant to be ❀ ☾ ( so cute im dying )
— maple syrup ☾
— bested ( love love love this series )
— too much ☾ ( sobbing )
— letters to you ( i got letters who want to be my rafe?? 💌 )
— anything for his love ☾ ( part two 🫶 )
— no other heart ❀ ☾
— baby’s day out ✧
— patch you up ❀
— so we won’t forget ✧ ❀ ☾
— watermelon ✧
— cross faded ❀
— you’re on your own kid (best rafe series hands down)
— in this life or the next ❀ ☾
— smile (favourite rafe series istg!!!!)
— all you need ❀
— under the influence ✧
— demonstration ✧
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jj maybank
— a reflection of him ❀
— endgame ( this series is just 🤌 )
— sweet dreams ✧
— phantom fights ❀
— i got you ☾ ( don’t mind me i’m just SOBBING )
— overheated ✧
— pornstar ❀ ( jj pls 💀 )
— all for us ☾ ✧ ( OH. MY. GOD )
— loving you ❀
— pocket of sunshine ✧
— a little less lonely ☾
— burnt pancakes ❀
— bereal ✧ (that’s crazyyyy)
— three seconds ☾ (part two)
— the one where jj finds out about your ex ❀
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sarah cameron
— fast friends ✧
— meeting sarah’s family ☆ ❀
— play time ✧
— best friend ✧ ☾
— love & hate ☾
— wish you were a boy ☾ (too retable queen 😞)
— optimism ❀
— feels like magic ❀ ☾
— just relax ✧
— girlfriend or girl thats a friend ❀ ☾
— ur my best friend ☾ ✧
— firsts ✧
— comfort ❀
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pope heyward
— clingy pope ❀ (💥💳💥💳💥 )
— in love with my best friend ☾ ❀
— drive in ❀
— drabble ❀ (i wish 😩)
— lost my whole appetite ❀
— who’s in charge now? ☾
— pumpkin guts ❀ (so cute!!!!!)
— secret game ❀
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barry
— headcanons ❀
— drabble ✧ (YES, tummy and thick thigh girlies stand up!!)
— lazy morning loving ✧ (love!!!!)
— forgot you not ☾
— rafebarry (live, love, laugh, rafebarry)
— drabble ✧
— nicknames ❀
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john b routledge
— snow on the beach ❀
— distractions ✧
— beg for forgiveness ☾
— older ❀
— i wanted to do it first ☾ ( dang dawg )
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kiara carrera
— shower time ✧
— detention ❀
— just the three of us ✧
— unspoken desires ❀ ☾
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authors note ! happy valentines day lovies! here is a valentines day gift from me too all of you, enjoy! <3
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livingemkayde · 9 months
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ch iii. diced
joel miller x f!reader x unrequited!tommy miller (no outbreak AU)
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chapter three of chaser
warnings: 18+ minors please dni. phone sex?? yeah…phone sex. graphic depictions of male and female masturbation. dom!joel makes a reappearance. too much tension for one story. love triangle forming formed. mild allusions to physical fighting but only verbal fighting with the brothers LOL. age gap, reader is 23 and joel is 35. Tommy is 30. (ages of all characters and plot do not follow canon strictly for the story’s sake). reader in her girl boss era (not sexually tho lol). 
a/n: ooooooooo i love you guys and im glad youre liking the story. im really happy with the way this chapter came out. WIG. please enjoy!!
summary: tensions run high at a family dinner at the miller's house. tommy drops you off at home, but its joel who ends up being the one talking to you until you fall asleep.
if you would like to read more of mine: masterlist!
“Fighting at the table. Thought you were a gentleman,” you chuckle, nervously.  That right? Your breath hitches.  “Yeah.” Not anymore? “Not too sure anymore.”  ‘M sure I can convince you.  “You can try.”
You like cooking.
You like the meticulous steps involved in following a recipe.
You like how when it’s done, you can share it with the people you love. 
You stand at the kitchen counter, dicing an onion. Joel’s silent words ring in your mind as you stare down at the small little squares. 
You find your cheeks reddening more with each tick of the minute hand. The boys will be home later from their long day with the electrician. You asked one of Sarah’s teammates to drop her off at the house since your car was out of commission. 
The hours pass by, the chicken gets golden brown in the heat of the oven, salad gets tossed, potatoes get mashed. 
The Millers file in, Sarah first — she slumps down on the couch as you try to get her to wash up and put on a fresh set of clothes before setting up camp in front of the TV. 
She grumbles, but ultimately gives in, too tired to complain. You send her back to the couch after she’s done with a bowl of grapes and a cookie. 
Tommy is next, surprisingly sans his brother at his side.
“Hey…” you greet him with confusion laced in your tone. 
“Hey,” he gives you a hug, like always, and shuffles into the kitchen. He doesn’t say anything about Joel which seems weird. 
“Smells fuckin’ amazing ‘n here,” Tommy grumbles to himself, giving you a teasing squeeze on your hip while you pass to check on the chicken. 
He sits down at the table, his hand rubbing over his forehead. 
“Where’s Joel?” you inquire. Trying to keep your tone from sounding too interested. 
“Dunno, dropped me off and said he needed to check on something,” he grovels. 
You nod your head. 
Strange. 
“How was your day?” he asks, you just shrug.
“Tire’s fuck. ‘S alright though.”
He nods, his head comes back to his hands.
“Long day?” you ask, looking at him sympathetically. 
“Yeah,” he groans, standing to sneak a taste at the potatoes with a small spoon in hand. 
“Hey! Wait—” you attempt to stop his tricks, but he just laughs when you try to bat his hand away. 
“Electrican was a fuckin’ dick ‘n the drywall shipment is late so…” he huffs out, leaning back against the kitchen counter. You settle against the other counter, across the kitchen — the two of you facing each other. 
“‘M sorry,” you say and try to smile. These things happen with the brothers. The day's work seeping into dinner. You usually try to cheer up Tommy before he sits down with Sarah, but Joel is a different story. “Can you do anything about the guy?” 
“Not really, he’s supposed to be the best,” he shrugs. You stalk over near him, moving to stir the potatoes again, but he plays with the tail ends of your apron, and surprisingly, pulls you into a hug. 
You know it’s what he needs right now. A hug from a friend, and when the front door opens, you 
hope everyone in the room understands it's nothing more than that. 
Joel stands in the entryway. You can see him out of the corner of your eye. You can also see him hesitate in shrugging off his boots and flannel, taking in the scene unfolding before his eyes. 
Tommy Miller slumped against the counter with you in his arms. 
You pull away quickly. 
“Hey Joel,” you say, your hand coming to rub the back of your neck. 
“You makin’ dinner?” He asks, nodding his head at your greeting. You figure he’s pissed off about the day too, and seeing you with Tommy first thing when he opens the door certainly can’t help. 
“Yeah, just some chicken,” you say to him as he moves to kiss Sarah’s head and makes his way towards you and Tommy. 
“It’ll be ready soon,” you follow up with, he gives you a grunt in response, opening the fridge to get a beer. 
Joel passes you, and just when you think he’s too pissed to save it, he gives you a look. The one that leaves you breathless, the same look he always does — but only for a fleeting second with Tommy still close to your side. 
He leans down to your ear in passing, putting a steady hand on your low back that sends chills up your spine and whispers in a husky voice — 
“Thanks for cookin’ darlin’.” 
Jesus. 
You try to hide your flush but a smile falls on your face — Tommy notices. You know he notices, he’s not stupid. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a ragged breath. 
You can’t think of anything besides, get the attention off you. 
“Sarah?” you call from the kitchen, you see her eyes peek out from over the couch. 
“Help me set the table, will you, doll?” 
“Sure,” she calls back. 
You move to grab the napkins and cutlery, but Tommy’s hands stop your movements. You look up to him at your side, he smiles at you. 
“Let me help,” he says, taking the cloth out of your hand. 
“Oh — okay. Thanks,” you say, brushing your hands off, setting up Sarah’s utensils instead. 
You shrug off your apron. Joel watches you the whole time while leaning against the sink. When you meet his eye, he just raises his eyebrows at you, taking another sip of his beer. 
You pull the chicken out of the oven, setting everything on the table. 
“Come get it, guys,” you say, pulling out Sarah’s chair. She sits by Tommy, he ruffles her hair — her giggling echoing through the kitchen like always.
You sit across from them, Joel at the head of the small table. It's funny. Most days you have dinner at the house, it doesn’t feel as formal as this. Tommy and Joel sit on the couch sometimes, watching whatever is on the TV, you help Sarah with her food at the table. 
But most days you have takeout or leftovers — not a meal you cooked. 
“How was soccer today?” you ask Sarah as she spoons mashed potatoes into her mouth. 
“It was so fun, Katie even got us matching bracelets,” she says, holding out her wrist, a clunky beaded bracelet hangs off it. 
“Very cool,” you admire the colorful charms, the brothers pretend to be interested. 
“Sorry I couldn’t pick you up, my tire popped,” you say to her. She gives you a confused look. 
“How does that even happen?” 
“You’re telling me, kid,” you smile at her, shaking your head. She laughs back.
“Speakin’ of that,” Joel cuts in, “Went by the shop to get a tire but they were closed. I'll take you tomorrow.”
“Oh — thanks, Joel,” you say, sipping on some water to hide your blush. 
Tommy grumbles from across the table.
“What was that?” you ask, he looks at you, then Joel, a certain uneasiness falls over the table. 
Some silence. He keeps looking at Joel with an emotion you can’t place.
“Told Joel I would take you,” he says after some time. 
Fuck. 
You sneak a glance at Joel. He looks at Tommy with a stiff stare. The room feels tense, other than Sarah picking at her salad. 
“Oh — it’s,” you nervously chuckle. “It’s okay. Actually I can probably —” 
“I gave her the tow,” Joel cuts you off. But he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Tommy. 
You watch the wordless scene unfolding in front of you in awe. Your brows push together in a silent plea to stop. But the boys don’t look at you. They don’t break from looking at each other. 
“She called me,” Tommy says, the dinner in front of them abandoned. 
“You didn't go.” 
Fuck. 
“It's really not a problem, I can—” 
“I’ll help you change it,” Tommy cuts you off, glancing in your direction, then back to Joel. 
“I can change a tire,” Joel snaps, his voice raising slightly. 
You give them both a look, hoping to shut them up, but they don’t even glance your way. 
“Once your car is fixed can you take me to the library again after soccer?” Sarah says over the silence. 
You look back at her and try to make it seem like everything is okay. 
“Of course!” you say, cringing at your nervous intonation, but she giggles and thanks you nonetheless. 
“I know how to change a tire, but thanks for the offer,” you say, a nervous laugh breezing through your words. “Tommy, it’s okay that you couldn’t come —” 
You’re cut off again. It seems like you’re not really in this conversation. And they’re not really arguing about the tire. 
“I couldn’t go because you fucked it with the electrician,” Tommy bites back. 
“Tommy,” you say in a stern voice, looking at Sarah, and back to Tommy, a scowl across your face. But he doesn’t look back. 
It looks like Sarah is almost done with dinner anyways, her eyes trained towards the TV in the living room. 
“You done kiddo?” you whisper to her. She snaps out of it and nods, you tell her to put her plates in the sink and slip her another cookie. 
“Go pick out a book to read before bed.” 
She leaves. The tension doesn’t. 
“‘N why was the electrician mad?” Joel bites back when you join the table again. 
“Jesus,” Tommy says, he pulls back from their staring first, running a rough hand through his hair. 
“No, why was he mad?” Joel scowls. “Was it because you forgot to confirm for the drywall?” 
“Joel,” you say, confused why he’s still letting this go on. Of course, he doesn’t look at you. 
Tommy just scoffs, avoiding everyone’s gaze while staring down at the floor. You see his shoulders puffing. 
A few more moments of unbearably tense silence. You don’t want to step in, this is obviously some stupid argument and you have no idea what you could possibly say to make it better. You’re partially scared, and halfway pissed because they’re fighting and cursing in front of Sarah — ruining the meal you spent the afternoon making. 
“‘S what I thought,” Joel announces to the table. 
Your eyes widen more if that’s possible. 
Oh, fuck. 
Tommy slams his fist on the table, standing, Joel gets to his feet too. You stand, moving around the table before any blows are actually thrown, adrenaline coursing through your veins. 
“What the hell are you guys doing?” you say, your voice is a little hushed because of Sarah. 
“I dunno,” Joel whispers, still looking at Tommy. “What are we doin’.” It's a question, but it doesn’t sound like one.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 
“You guys will figure it out with the electrician,” you say, hesitant, you’re not sure if that will make the situation any better, but you’re trying your best. 
“And I can take care of my own tire,” you let out a breathless laugh, trying to diffuse the tension.
Joel looks over to you at that, and his brows slightly unfurrow. 
You look at Tommy, but he looks furious. 
“Guys,” you say, looking between them, pleading with your voice. 
The clock continues counting — seemingly without the three of you — suspended, or maybe frozen in time. It feels like hours, you all stand there. You can see Joel’s hand ball into a first. Even when the chicken goes cold, and the drinks get lukewarm, they stand. You’re beginning to worry nothing you can say will fix this. Their competitive nature has always been apparent, but this is something different. Like they’re talking to each other without words, and you won’t ever be able to understand their unspoken language. 
“I’m gonna head out,” Tommy finally says, breaking first. You let out a sign, stepping back, holding a hand to your forehead. 
“Thanks for cooking. I — do you need a ride?” Tommy says, grabbing his coat. 
Fuck. It never stops, does it?
You look over at Joel for a split second when Tommy looks down to get his shoes. 
Go. 
He says with his eyes. 
You wonder how many infinite laters can be braced on his silent eyes before it all spills out and buries you alive. 
But he says it. 
Later. 
You nod, still a bit shaken up by the stalemate.  
“Okay. Let me just clean up,” you say, grabbing at some dishes. 
“I got it,” Joel cuts in, taking the dishes from your hands, nodding his head towards Tommy. 
 You mumble a quiet thanks and follow Tommy out the door. 
It's silent when you get in the car, and when you pull out onto the street. You pick at the skin on your fingernails, a nervous sweat breaks out in your palms. Tommy is tense beside you. His knuckles on the steering wheel show white. 
“I —” he huffs out a breath, already nearing your house. “‘M sorry.” 
He sounds actually genuine. And you know he’s had a shit day. 
“What was all that, Tommy?” you ask in a quiet voice. 
“I don't know.” He shakes his head, rearing your house, and pulling up, putting the car in park. 
“Work and then I —” he laughs a bit. “I fuckin’ told Joel I would take you so, I don't even know what he was —” he drops his head. 
“I don't know. I'm sorry.” 
You feel a bit bad. 
“I appreciate the offers but I can do things on my own, T. You know that,” you say, bracing a comforting hand on his shoulder. 
“I know. I — I just wanted to help,” he grovels. 
“I know,” you echo, giving him a smile. 
He smiles back. 
“Haven't seen Joel that worked up in a while,” he says, shaking his head. 
“Work’s getting to him, maybe. Just like it's getting to you,” you tease, poking his shoulder. You're a bit breathless from his brainless comment about Joel. 
“Maybe. I dunno —” he huffs. “Anyways. Let me make it up to you.” 
You raise your brows at his words. 
“We'll take you out on friday? Bar?” 
Your eyes widen. 
As in — you and Joel in a bar again. Together. 
And Tommy.
“Oh, um —” your phone buzzes in your hand, Joel’s name pops up and you try to hide it quickly. “Okay. Sure.” 
“Drinks on me,” he winks, you pull off your seatbelt, giving him a fake appreciative look. 
“$1 beers, wow thank you so much, Tommy,” you say, putting a hand to your chest. 
“Shut up, you're lucky I offered,” he teases as you hop out of the truck. 
“See you,” you wave. 
“Get some sleep, babe.” 
You roll your eyes. 
“Goodnight,” you say back, closing the car door and walking inside.
Your heart picks up at the thought of going back to the bar you and Joel first met. You know the brothers frequent the place. To say you were nervous was an understatement. And Joel definitely doesn’t know about Tommy’s plans yet. 
You haul yourself upstairs to your bedroom, you’re slipping on a big t-shirt from your dresser, and washing up when you hear your phone buzzing from your bed.  
Your phone buzzes again, you pull it out from under your pillow, it's Joel. 
But he's calling you. 
You freeze with the phone in your hand. 
Fuck. 
Joel has never called you. Even when he gave you his number at the bar it was him asking for you to call him. His name flashing on your screen makes you squirm. 
Joel M.
It’s the same from all those weeks ago. You never bothered to change it to his full last name — you remember when he put it in your phone and all his touches prior. You remember everything about that night. 
You don't want it to go to voicemail so you take a deep breath, and answer the call. You put the phone up to your ear hesitantly, your breath a bit shaky. 
“Hello?” 
Where are you? 
No preamble. No greeting. 
“I’m home. I just got home,” you say, breathless. 
‘Preciate you cookin’. 
“Sure,” you breathe out, you’re a bit confused why he’s calling you just to say thanks. 
He stays silent for a while. 
‘M sorry. ‘Bout dinner. 
Your long sigh crosses the line. 
“Fighting at the table. Thought you were a gentleman,” you chuckle, nervously. 
That right?
Your breath hitches. 
“Yeah.”
Not anymore?
“Not too sure anymore.” 
‘M sure I can convince you. 
“You can try.”
You can hear his silken breath echo through the call. The static pierces through the ringing in your ears. You settle on your bed, laying on your back as you desperately try to imagine what he’s doing right now. The white ceiling above you maps out his face.
He clears his throat like he’s scared of continuing down that road. 
Get home okay?
You roll your eyes even though he can’t see you. 
“Yes, Tommy is capable of things, you know.”
He doesn’t respond. You try to lighten the mood. 
“Said you guys are gonna take me out on Friday,” he grunts. “Make it up to me or something.” 
Is that what you want?
“Could be fun.” 
Could be.
“I haven’t been out in a while.” 
Yeah?
“Mhm. You guys are a full time job.”
When was the last time you went out?
You freeze. He knows the last time. You both know the last time you went out to the bar downtown. You’re sure of that fact, and that he hears your breath get heavy through the phone. 
You think about being indirect. Beating around the bush. Teasing. Say something snarky like you know the last time but it’s getting a bit old, and there’s no hiding things now. 
“When I met you,” you settle for. You hear his own breath through the line. 
He stays silent, obviously a bit shocked by your sudden bluntness. You try to keep it lighthearted, even though the notion is anything but. 
“Might have to go shopping if we’re goin’ out,” you laugh. 
Nah, could just wear the skirt from last time.
Jesus. 
“You remember?” you gulp. 
‘Course I do. 
 You try to laugh, but it comes out strangled. 
“Didn’t know you thought about me so much, Miller.”
I always think about you.
Jesus, fuck. 
So much for being light hearted. 
Maybe this is the later he kept telling you, but it doesn’t feel like it. To you, later, meant hey, let's talk about whatever this is, later and not, let's flirt with each other over the phone, later. You keep trying to picture him. There’s no way he’s sitting in the living room or in the kitchen with you on the phone like this. Right? 
Your fingers find the soft cotton hidden under your too-big shirt. You play with the hem of your underwear absentmindedly. 
You hear him shuffling a bit. 
“Where are you?” 
My bedroom. 
“What are you doing?” 
Sittin’ down.
“Where?” 
Jesus. 
“What?” 
What are you tryin’ to get at?
“I just wanna know what you’re doing.”
I’m — 
He hesitates for the first time all night. 
I’m on my bed. What are you doin’?
“I’m laying in bed.”
He sucks in a breath. 
“That all you’re doin’?”
There it is. The point of no return, the final tipping point, the flood gates opening, and never, ever shutting again — at least for tonight. For now, at this moment — whatever happens after this is up in the air. But you don’t think about that right now. All you can think about is how the drawl in his voice somehow compels you to sneak past the hem of your underwear.  
“Maybe. Why’d you call me?” 
Wanted to apologize. 
“That’s it?”
Maybe. 
He echoes your previous statement. You smile. The rising heat between your legs comes to a breaking point. So you bite the bullet. 
“Joel,” you say, his breaths are a bit husky. You know he can hear the small whimper in your voice. 
What do you need, angel?
“Can I? Please?”
Yes, fuck — yes. Askin’ so nicely f’me.
You let out a puff of air through stiff lips. Your fingers find your swollen clit, sinking down towards your entrance to collect the growing wetness there. You strangle out moans and something sounding like Joel’s name. 
You’re about to push two fingers inside yourself, when his voice cuts through the phone. 
Only one. 
It’s like he can read your mind. 
“Joel —” you whisper, a plea, but he cuts you off. 
C’mon be good for me, baby. 
You grovel, and your cheeks heat at how easily you comply, not really putting up any fight. You can’t. Not when he sounds like that, close to your ear, his words of praise pushing you closer to the edge as you sink your middle finger inside and gasp at the intrusion. 
Feel good? 
You can hear him shuffling, a small groan sounds from the other side of the line. You know what he’s doing, and it pushes you even further, maybe even becoming more bold. 
“Joel — need more,” you whine. You can hear him working himself. Your finger does nothing to stretch yourself out. Not when you think about the night at the bar, and how the sweet sting of his cock made you see stars. 
One more — slow. 
You groan as you slip another finger inside. The wetness from your entrance ruins your underwear, and threatens to spill out onto your bedding as well. 
You whine nonsense to him. You’re worked up, have been too distracted the last few weeks to touch yourself or seek anyone out. You didn’t even want to knowing you would see Joel the next day. He was enough to keep you going. But you’re just a woman. And you have needs. 
Feel good, baby? Tell me how it feels.
You pump your wrist faster, your orgasm nearing. You desperately rut against the palm of your hand, your shirt riding up. His words from the other side of the line spur you on further. 
“‘S good, Joel. Feels so — good.” 
Fuck, say my name again.
Your eyes open slightly at that, the plea mirroring when he had you up against the wall in the bar. His name. He always wants you to say his name. 
“Joel —” you whine. “Wish it was you.” 
I know, baby, I know. 
 “Please.” 
You know we can’t. 
“God — fuck,” you whimper to him. The mixture of your own fingers crooking just right inside you threatens to push you into a white hot orgasm. You don’t know where the next thing you say comes from. Or if you’d ever let another guy do this with you. But it feels right in the moment. And the sound of him working himself faster tells you he’s close too. 
“Can I cum? Please?” you whisper. 
You swear you can hear his hand stutter. The groan he lets out at your words is closer to a growl. 
Jesus, fuck — such an angel. You know that right?
“Joel,” you continue, too blissed out to acknowledge his praise. It shoots right down to the spot you keep working on instead. 
Not yet — know you’ll be a good girl and wait f’me. 
You do, wait for him. Your fingers slow down a fraction, staving you off your fast approaching orgasm. You can hear him work himself, the thought of him finishing into his palm makes it that much harder for you to hold off. 
Fuck baby — goddamn — 
“Joel, please?” you whine when he starts to calm down his breathing. You’re teetering right on the edge. The only thing keeping you from falling is the thought of his praise. 
Alright — fuck — let me hear you, baby.
You come hard around your fingers, biting into your lip hard in favor of screaming. Your back arches off the bed, the phone threatens to slip from your hand, you can barely hear Joel’s praise in the back of your head. It’s almost like he’s really here, whispering into your neck while you climax. 
You expect your post orgasmic haze to send you into a spiral about a certain brother and the fact that technically you just got off on the phone with your boss. But it doesn’t, you fall back into the mattress, spent. Joel’s words ring through your ears, whispering praises. 
He tells you to get some rest. 
You do. 
_
chapter iv. tacit
taglist! comment or message me if you want to be added. (for this series, i took the liberty of adding you to the taglist if you commented that you wanted more parts on chaser. you can let me know if you want to be taken off) kisses!
@sofiparallel @jasminedragoon @rainbowcosmicchaos @akah565
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@awhoreforalotofshows @disassociation-daydreams @anoverwhelmingdin @violinchick @rhoorl @yoongjennie88 @lawh0re
459 notes · View notes
tsimvkas · 4 months
Text
daylight #01 | but who could stay?
A/N: HI BABIES 🫶🏻 omfg im so excited to share this idea with y’all! gentle reminder that it’s my first time writing smth with multiple chapters and english isn’t my mother language so pls forgive any mistake. hope you like it xx
word count: 4.1k | series masterlist | masterlist
content: pregnancy, a bit of angst, bsf!mason
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If there’s anything your closest friends love most about you, it is the way you love others. The way you care about your family and friends, the way they are your priority and how you don't hold any resentments towards anyone.
You’ve always tried to be a good person. Help others, see the positive side of things, be gentle and kind. Although you’re human, just like everyone else, so you’re also constantly up to making mistakes.
But the best thing about you is that you always assume them, and then you always try to be better than the version of you who made that mistake.
And your friends simply love to have you around. You believe in “quality over quantity”, and your few friends are true ones.
To be honest, there’s only two who you believe in with your soul. Mason and Sarah, your best friends.
You have a few friends from college who you still talk to, and some people from Mason’s world, although you try not to enter it too much.
And, of course, your boyfriend Walker.
The four of you know each other since pre school, but you’re the only one who actually cares about Walker. You can blame your foolish heart on this one.
Sarah tried to like him during pre school, and tried again when he came back to Portsmouth, injured.
Mason, on the other half, never even tried. They used to accept each other's presence, but whilst everyone was growing up it was obvious they were too different to get along.
Walker was a messy kid, the funny boy. The one who forgets the homework, the one late for training.
And Mason… you always run out of words when it comes to describe your best friend. He was centrated, focused on his career. Always defending what he believes in, always concerned about his family and friends. Mason was a bright feeling, like drinking a cup of tea curled up on your sofa with your favourite blanket whilst it's raining outside.
Having Mason as your best friend was truly the best thing the universe could gave you.
To be honest, you always had a soft spot for him. He’s kind, adoring, beautiful and cares about you, a lot. But Mason’s life is crazy, and you know he’s out of your league, so you were more than happy with his friendship.
Besides, he’s living so far away now. Playing for a big club, with all eyes on him. With fame and money enough to bring him every girl he could possibly want.
With this in mind, that's why you started hanging out with Walker when came back after his surgery, trying to make the silly crush you had on Mason, for a while now, disappear.
The fact that Stones wanted to recover at Portsmouth instead of using the training centre and the club’s doctor shocked you, since you know Mason would never, but this gave you both a chance to get closer.
You were still good friends during his time in London, but haven’t talked much since he went to Chelsea and now you were the only person he felt comfortable with. Everybody feels comfortable with you.
As time passed, it was inevitable for you to fall for him, and soon he asked you to be his girlfriend. It was all too fast and you could feel the passion burning inside you.
Sarah disapproved your relationship from the very first moment, and by Mason’s face when you told him you know he did too. But he would never tell you something to make you upset, wishing you happiness and sending you kisses.
You kind of wished a part of him was jealous, since a part of you still melted every time he looked at you, trying to answer his questions whilst your legs were slightly shaking.
Somehow, Walker could sense the tension. You always denied, because you wasn’t just pretending — you really liked your boyfriend. But you couldn’t control your own body when it comes to Mason.
Mount were the topic of your arguments with Walker so many times, and he doesn’t even know this.
Sometimes, during those arguments, you felt like you were Walker’s girlfriend only for Mason to see. Only so he would have won something over Chelsea’s star boy.
But you liked him so much… you liked to think that someone actually loves you. That someone cares about you in a romantic way, that someone sees you as a woman and not only as a silly little girl. You liked to think he wanted you, out of all the girls he could have.
You truly wanted to form a beautiful family with him someday, after marrying and moving together. Despite all the arguments and that he was always jealous of your best friend, you shared a lot of incredible moments with him. You wanted him to be the one.
Not because he feels like your soulmate. To be honest, he doesn’t. But you think you deserve it, the chance of happiness.
You’re still so young, but you always wanted a love that would last decades, and know that you started dating Walker it’s like you’re willing to do anything, to work through any problem to keep him, to feel loved and wanted by someone.
That’s why you were in shock when Sarah told you, after your hundredth complaint about your period being late, that you might be pregnant.
It seemed crazy when she said for the first time, but after being late for another week you decided that you needed to check.
After your class, you went to the pharmacy next to your house and bought a few pregnancy tests, heading straight home.
You wanted to do it alone, since you firmly believed the results would be negative and you wouldn’t drag Sarah into your house only for this.
Using the bathroom you have the privilege to have, inside your room, you followed the instructions and tried to distract yourself, cleaning your bag.
When you came back to see the test, your breath hitched in your throat and you felt weak in the knees.
Sitting on the toilet lid, you took the test in your shaky hands, trying to process the information.
Your world was spinning and your heart was pounding with the most anxious feeling you’ve ever felt. This is what you wanted. But not now.
It was too much. You’re only twenty-two, just started college and there’s still so many things you wanted to do before having a child…
You grabbed your phone, trying to decide what you should do first. Your boyfriend’s name appeared on the screen when you selected his contact, choosing to call him.
It took a long time for him to answer the phone, so you started to walk around the bathroom, grabbing the sink when he finally picked up.
“Y/N? Is everything alright?” you tried not to faint, focusing on Walker’s voice and taking a deep breath.
“I need you to come here” you whispered. “I have something to tell you”
“Can you tell me over the phone? I'm not sure I can go to yours now”
“It’s important, Walker” you tried again, already wishing you had called Sarah instead.
“Babe, I can’t” his voice sounded distracted over the phone, and you could hear a few other voices talking behind him. “I’m sorting out some things about that contract with Ajax”
You frowned to your own reflection in the mirror, not having any idea of what he was talking about.
“What contract?”
“Babe, are you serious? I told you- haven’t I? I’m signing for Ajax” he said casually, as it was no big deal. Nothing important.
You felt the bathroom walls spinning around you even faster. Your hands were shaking more aggressively, your mouth was dry.
“You’re what?” you gasped.
Walker sighed, like he had the right to do it, and the action pissed you off. “C’mon, Y/N. Chelsea doesn’t want me anymore and now that I’m recovered I need to take this opportunity to come back”
You left the bathroom and started to walk around your room, trying to organise your thoughts.
“So what? You’re signing with Ajax? In another country?” you manage to keep your voice calm.
“It’s a big club, you’re not excited for me?”
The question made your heart pound with a feeling of guilt, which passed when you looked at the pregnancy test again. Then the guilt was replaced by anger and despair.
“I’m- I mean, I’m happy for you but I don’t get it” you could feel the unshed tears burning your eyes. “When would you tell me? What about our relationship?”
“We will find a way” you heard him giggling. “Don’t worry”
How could you not be worried? Even if you weren’t pregnant, Walker had hidden something big from you. You would never try to stop him from going, but you deserved a talk about it, right? He’d think you deserved to be a part of the decision if you were important to him.
“I’m pregnant” you blurted out, feeling hurt. Suddenly Walker wasn’t giggling anymore, and now your hot tears were spilling down your face. “I can’t move to another country where I don’t know anyone”
After long minutes in silence, which you think he used to get away from whoever was with him, Walker sighed.
“Yes, I get it. I wouldn’t ask you to spend your pregnancy in a totally unknown country” he murmured. “It’s a shame I’ll be too far away to see it”
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“So you’re still going to Ajax?” your tone was accusatory. “Oh my God, Walker. I can’t believe you right now”
“You don’t get it! I have the opportunity of my life knocking at my door” he shouted, agressively. You felt the anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach growing. How dare him scream at you like that?
“And I have a fucking baby growing inside me! Fuck off, Walker” you screamed back. “Do you think your football career is more important? Do you think playing for Ajax is more important? Then go away. Go on and disappear from my life. But once you’re gone I don’t want you back, ever”
“Don’t act like I have a choice” Walker tried to defend himself, but his voice was emotionless.
You took a deep breath trying to control your fury. Walking around your room, you brushed your tears. It was useless, since others spilled down.
“You do. You do have a choice. And you’re choosing a fucking football team” you lowered your voice.
“I can’t be a dad now” he finally said what he wanted to.
“Oh you swear? Shouldn’t have fucked me without a fucking condo then” you were shouting again, your tears making it hard for you to see anything and pure range burning your stomach.
“I can help you once I’m stabilised there- I can send you money” Walker offered.
“I don’t want your fucking money. I wanted your affection, Walker. I wanted you to care about this, but now I don’t expect anything from you anymore. This baby won’t even have your last name. Jesus, this is unbelievable” you laughed sarcastically. “Mason was right”
You could hear when Walker’s breath hitched in his throat.
“Are you really mentioning that dickhead in a moment like this? What the fuck did he said to you?”
“That you were no man for me. That you have no word and I deserved better”
“Of course” Walker also laughed with sarcasm. “He always thought he was the man for you, right?”
“Oh don’t you dare start this. He’s my best friend! Can you stop pretending you’re jealous of him when you can’t even assume the responsibility over your child?!” you rolled your eyes, although he couldn’t see.
“Can you stop defending him? You just admitted he told you I’m not a good man for you” Walker snorted.
“And you’re proving he was right”
Hearing your screams worried your mother, so she opened your door to see what was happening.
Your father was besides her and you tried to smile at them, knowing you’d have to explain the situation sooner than you expected.
“Yeah well, so why did you choose to date me if he’s the good guy? You should fuck him instead”
You were tired of this talk already, so you gave up. “Fine. Noted. Any other wish?”
“Go to hell” Walker whispered, disconnecting the call.
Your mom walked towards you and guided you to your bed, trying to calm you. Sitting with you and caressing your back for a few minutes, giving you the time you needed before you mustered up the courage to tell the news.
“I’m pregnant” you murmured to them, your voice weak. “And Walker is leaving for Ajax. He doesn’t want the child”
“Y/N, my baby…” your mom took you in her arms, comforting you. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this… what a stupid man we had right beneath our noses! But we’ll always be here for you, no matter what”
“I’m so sorry mom, I never meant to disappoint you” you sniffled. “Or dad”
“Don’t say stupid things” your dad scolded you, trying to use a more playful tone. “It’s a bit shocking at first, in my mind you would form your own family with… look, the thing is that I never thought Walker was the right guy for you, and knowing you’ll have his baby got me speechless, but more than that you’re having your baby, and this is something I could never be disappointed by”
“That’s right” your mom agreed. “Even though it’s not happening the way you always dreamed about, we can’t be disappointed with you. You’re old enough to make your own decisions”
“But you’re still my baby” your father kissed the top of your head. “And my baby’s baby is our baby too. We’ll help you with everything. You don’t need Walker, Y/N. Please, from the bottom of my heart… don’t go after him ever again”
“I won’t”
“And don’t let him come back when he try to” your mother tucked your hair behind your ear. “Because they always do”
After two weeks feeling depressed and incapable of leaving your bed, you knew you had to do something.
You were no longer the only person affected by your actions, so you took a shower, trying to wash all the sadness and guilt away. You weren’t supposed to be on this all by yourself, and it’s not your fault. Like your mom said, no woman can make a baby alone.
For days you have been blaming yourself. You saw Walker’s announcement. You saw his big smile, like the transfer was the best thing ever happened to him. You saw all the comments about how excited they were with his signing. You saw his first game for Ajax, and you saw his old teammates wishing him well — except for one of them.
The thing that worried you the most at first, telling your parents, went well, and now you need to face your new reality. Your new life.
You know your parents will help you with everything you and the baby will possibly need, and there’s still a few months before you need to start thinking about buying things, so there’s only one thing left to do right now.
Grabbing your phone, you searched for your best friend’s number. Besides your parents, you want him to be the first to know. Not because he’s famous nor because he has money, since you don’t need any of it. But simply because he’s your other half.
This is what you need right now. The person who completes you.
It only took him two rings to answer with a shaky breath — probably from training, since you didn’t think about checking the hour before calling.
“Y/N? My princess, how long! I’ve missed you so much” he said with excitement, and your heart pounded with how much you miss having him around everyday.
Gulping, you looked at the latest test you’ve took, the ‘positive’ facing you.
“Hi Mase” you whispered, just happy to hear his voice. “I have some news to tell you”
Mason hit the road as soon as he finished showering, grateful for his wise mind that decided to bring cosy clothes to wear after training.
His mind was still a bit hazy, trying to process what you had told him.
He knows how much you always dreamed about pregnancy, family, marriage. He is happy for you, truly.
You’re the best thing Mason has after his family. You’ve been besides him through all of his goods and bad moments, his family loves you like one of them. He loves you like he loves his own, and he wants to be there for you now.
But, no matter how much he loves you, he can’t pretend he likes the father of your baby.
Mason thinks that Walker Stones is disgusting. They grew together, both working on their football career, chasing the dream. But the fact Walker seemed to follow every single one of Mason’s steps got under your best friend’s skin.
In the end, they ended up playing for Chelsea together. Mason hated it.
Last year, Walker tore his ACL, and that was when he came back to Portsmouth to focus on his recovery. Mason hated this even more, because now Walker was closer to you.
Since you all know each other for a long time, it didn’t take long for you and Stones to start dating. It broked Mason’s heart a bit, to be honest. All he could think about was how hurt and broken you would be when Walker decided to show you who he really is, the Walker that Mount was used to seeing every day. A nasty guy.
Mason saw a few posts weeks ago, wishing him well in his new clube. Coming back from injury now, the bastard made it to Ajax, which only made your best friend confused. How the hell you were going to deal with a pregnancy whilst Walker is living in fucking Netherlands?
So he asked you about Walker, and the only thing you said is that you needed Mason. Right now.
The anxiety floating through Mason’s body was unreal. You broke up with Walker? Were you moving to Ajax with him? That’s why you were crying, since you love England so much?
He stepped on the accelerator, chewing his lips. He even tried to distract his running thoughts with some music, but it was useless.
When he finally made it to your front door, Mason quickly parked his car and ran to knock it, being received by your dad.
Your dad loves Mason almost as much as you do, and after a quick hug your best friend was on his way to your room.
Knowing you would be waiting for him, he didn’t even knock, opening the door slowly. Your room was cold due to the air conditioning and you were laid with your favourite fuzzy blanket, sleeping. He took off his shoes and approached your bead silently, doing his best to not wake you up.
Mason gently got under the blanket, laying beside you. He rested his chin on your head, circling your waist with one arm and smiling when you hummed in content.
He doesn’t even know if you broke up with Walker, but it’s not like that piece of shit needs to know that he’s in your bed, right?
Mason snuggled you in his arms and the movement woke you up.
“Mase?” you whispered,
“You invited any other man to your house?” he teased, hugging you tighter. “Sorry about sneaking into your bed, I didn’t wanted to disturb your nap”
“It’s okay” you yawned, turning to face him. It’s been so long since you and Mason shared a bed, whether at sleepovers or when you went to London, and you just missed it so much. You hugged him tightly before pulling away to look him in the eyes. “How was the drive?”
“Normal” he tried to smile, brushing your messy hair out of your face. “I was worried about you, though”
“It wasn’t my intention to get you worried” you sighed, avoiding his eyes now.
“I know, I just care about you” he tipped your chin so he could look you in the eyes again, his thoughts getting the best of him when he asked you what played on his mind during the whole drive. “Are you moving?”
“What?” you furrowed your browns, confused. “No. Where would I go?”
“I don’t know, Netherlands?” Mason pouted, making you giggle.
“Oh Mase, no” you smile sadly. “We’re no longer a couple, me and Walker”
“What happened?” he kept stroking your cheek with his thumb. Mason wanted to feel happy because Walker is no longer a part of your life, but the sad look in your eyes broke his heart. “I can catch a flight and broke his nose right now”
You shook your head, sighing before whispering. “He had this pre-contract with Ajax for two months I guess… I told him I was pregnant two weeks ago and he said he couldn’t lose the opportunity. I had no idea about the contract. Guess he already wanted to break up with me but couldn’t find the courage to do so. I mean, when was he going to tell me? He’d break up with me before leaving or I’d have to accept a long distance relationship without even discussing it? The fact he was hidding this from me was already bad for the future of our relationship, and then I dropped the bomb… Anyways, from the beginning to the end he chose Ajax”
Mason ran his hand up and down your spine whilst the other was between your face and the pillow, brushing a few tears. He could tell you were about to collapse, your voice choked by the lump on your throat.
“C’mere” he brought you closer, holding you tighter when you tucked your face in the crook of his neck. “You’re not alone, you know that, right? You deserved a man so much better, Y/N. Your baby deserved a better father, and I’m sorry you fell for him. You know how I feel about Walker, and I know it’s not your fault you love him, but promise me we gonna forget him now, uh? He made a choice and this choice means he doesn’t want to be a part of your life. He doesn’t want to be a father or a husband. Let’s leave him behind, alright?”
You cried even more, and your heart pounded at his words. At how much Mason cares about you.
Nodding against his neck, you clung to him even more, and Mason let your sobs echo through the room, knowing you probably needed that kind of cry that leaves you breathless.
After a few minutes crying desperately, you pulled away, laid on your back and tried to breathe. Your best friend brushed your wet hair out of your face and waited for you to catch your breath.
When Mason also laid on his back and tipped his chest telling you to get closer to him, you put half of your body on top of his so you could rest your face on his shoulder.
After long minutes of silence, he caught your open eyes looking to nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
“What’s going through your head?” Mason whispered, his lips brushing your forehead gently.
You sighed before answering, tightening your arms around his body.
“I feel like everybody likes me, but that’s all. I know I’m a good person, and it would be dumb for someone to lose a friend like me because I’m always the one to help, I’m always there for them” you closed your eyes, trying not to cry again. “So I always think, who could ever leave me when I’m the best person they could keep around, when I give everything in me to be the best person they could have around? But at the same time, no one ever stays”
Mason tipped your chin so you would look at him. He stared at you a few seconds, admiring your face and the way your pretty eyes were shining with tears.
Kissing your forehead, he brushed your belly with the pad of his fingers, making imaginary drawings.
“I could stay” he rested his chin on your head, sighing when you clung against his body and whispering what it felt like a promise. “I’ll stay”
And you know he meant it.
-> next chapter
224 notes · View notes
princessbrunette · 4 months
Note
baby daddy - barely holding down a job because of his attitude - line cook jj who feeds you waffles at his work for free as a ‘i’m sorry i knocked you up cause my pull out game ain’t that strong’ when he finds out. being a consistent thing that ends up with him taking ingredients for the ‘secret recipe’ home to their newly conjoined place because it becomes all she (she/her fem reader) craves. him introducing the baby to the work crew. I NEED PAPA JJ ✋
OHHHH MY GOD IM SCREAMING ???? this is exactly what i needed. anon u are an angel omg.
he gets the job as soon as he finds out you’re pregnant. it takes you like two weeks to build up the courage to tell him, because you’re terrified he’ll freak, have worries about being just like his dad and leave. you’re riddled with guilt, rubbing your tummy and crying, somehow feeling like it’s your fault, practically still kids yourself in your early 20s starting a life together. you were scared.
but jj, god, he’s just such a good guy.
he stares at you in shock when you tell him, taking his hat off and running his hands through his hair, and as you brace yourself to be told to get out, you’re met with a teary grin. “you’re not playing right? you mean it?” his voice is shaking. he’s… happy?
within the next two days he’s got that linecook job, called in a favour with some guy who ironically used to owe his dad— explained his situation, ‘look man, i got a baby on the way, i gotta step my shit up—’ the cravings hit hard and you’re seeing JJ a lot more than you planned, showing up at the restaurant for something to tide you over before dinner. JJ appears from the kitchen, bright smile on his face, backwards cap, grease stained white t-shirt, dark blue apron folded and tied at his waist. “there’s my girls.” he grins despite your bump only just being visible, plate of waffles in his hand for him to fork into your mouth whilst chatting, the restaurant pretty empty that day.
he’s tired, but happy to come home to you. your hormones are all out of whack, so sometimes you’re crying and hugging his tummy as he stands over where you sit in confusion, telling him you missed him so much when he was at work. other times you’re clenching your thighs in your little nightie, tits heavy and bump showing, telling him how good he looks in his work uniform and that he’s making you wanna take more of his babies, had you mentioned how much wetter you get when pregnant? JJ tries to keep up with your rollercoaster, happy to deal with whatever you throw at him.
once you have that baby life gets a little harder but it’s nothing the two of you can’t handle. a little girl, and JJ is relieved. he would have loved that baby all the same if it was a boy, but he has to admit the idea scared him a little — knowing his own relationship with his dad. this felt like a breaking of a curse, a fresh start. that baby is his whole entire world, and so are you.
“my weak pull out game is the best damn thing that happened to me.” he jokes, stretching an arm around you on the couch.
“your weak pull out game is making noise in her crib, can you go check on her?” you sark back with a tired grin, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
the baby is the sweetest. your eyes and hair, his nose and mischievousness. once you’ve gained back some energy and the baby isn’t screaming through the night anymore, you start to take her places, showing her your world. the chateau, the group taking turns holding her, arguing over who her number one aunt or uncle is. john b and sarah take the role somewhat as the babies god parents, minus the ceremony and legal title. pope and kie, uncle and auntie. it makes sense to all of you, and they all love that baby like it’s your own— offering their help whenever they can. your baby takes a liking to john b the most, warming your hearts when she falls asleep on his chest.
“its ‘cos hes such a dreamboat. look at him. daddy ain’t pretty like john b.” jj jokes, stretching on the couch opposite as the sun goes down.
“my god she’s so cute!” his best friend whisper yells with a pout as he looks down at her.
everyone takes to calling JJ ‘papa J’, once a random nickname turned reality. JJ is constantly calling you “mama” which makes you wanna get pregnant all over again. he gets super upset when he sees even a flicker of his own father in him, locking him self away for the night, crying until you let yourself in, the baby in bed, rubbing his back. you tell him he’s the best daddy in the whole world, and he is. he just needs to believe it.
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ec1ips3 · 1 year
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-;༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞
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⚡��� pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader
⚡︎ summary: you and jj aren’t friends, the thought of being friends felt so foreign. after some arguments, boy troubles, and years of yearning and aruging, the idea doesn’t seem so foreign. 
⚡︎ warning: angst, mean jj, you’re a kook, i know that’s clique but i love kook!reader, swearing, she/her pronouns, not proofread, underage drinking, cheating, abandonment issues mentioned, mention of blood, fluff if you squint.
⚡︎ word count: 21, 284
⚡︎ a/n: hi everyoneeee! hope you’re all doing amazing. I decided to write some jj in honor of the new outer banks season i have yet to watch (because of jiara). also i’m guessing this takes place before season 2 because no cleo :(. BUT there is always a next time :). Also im sorry this is so long, i kept writing and i just kept adding and adding and adding, got too into it. also sorry this was late, but it’s okay because i think i wrote the best kissing scene i’ve ever written. Anyway like always, requests and taglist are always open. happy reading! <;33
masterlist | jj’s masterlist | taglist
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“If you do it like that, you could break it” JJ complained.
“JJ, I did it the exact way you do it, get over it” You respond.
“Can you two stop acting like children?” Kie pleads.
You and JJ never got along. There was no real valid reason, not that you know of. You started hanging out with the pogues when Sarah and John B got together. She insisted one day you come with her so she actually has someone to talk to because there was still tension with Kie. You agreed because you wanted to help her, but one time turned into a second visit, then it became going every time Sarah went, or when Kie had called you to come over. 
It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.
It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.
It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.
JJ would always pick up stupid little arguments about anything. If you reacted in any sort of way he didn’t like, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. If you wanted to surf you were told you didn’t know how to. And you always fed into it.
“Y/n please, you two have been going at this all day on hms pogue,” Sarah says rubbing her head, hoping to soothe her headache from the arguing. 
“I’m curious JJ, what is my place here? Kook Princess?” You remind yourself of JJ’s comment earlier.
“You may be all high and mighty in kooklandia, but here, you’re a bottom feeder”
The both of you continue to argue, everyone on the poor boat having to listen to the both of you go back and forth. In the beginning, you ignored JJ and his remarks, he was furious when Sarah brought you the first time. He was already unhappy when John B brought one kook princess, but another one was his limit. 
You understood why JJ didn’t like you at first, you were a kook, people that treated people like him like garbage, he didn’t know who you were as a person.
But as you slowly showed up more often, JJ just seemed more annoyed with you. He hasn’t even tried to have one genuine conversation with you, he’s never said anything remotely nice to you, and he hasn’t made any friendly gesture towards you. After a while, you had reached your own limit. You were no longer able to just sit and frown as he said mean things to you, you started to defend yourself.
When John B finally docked the boat at the Chateau you were the first one off the boat thanking him once you landed and walking straight into the small house. You were hoping that Sarah or even Pope had been the one behind you but you knew it was too good to be true when you heard his voice again.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks following you.
“I’m getting away from you so you could stop annoying me” you roll your eyes.
“I wasn’t done talking to you,” JJ said.
“I was,” you say, plopping yourself on the couch, massaging your temple from the headache JJ had caused you.
“J, just let the girl be” Pope defended you, sitting next to you.
“Are you seriously on her side? When she was pulling the anchor chain, she was pulling it too close to us. She would’ve had to get us a new boat” JJ reminds him as everyone else walks in too.
“Like you wouldn’t have liked a new boat with my money” you grumbled.
“You mean daddy’s money,” JJ said. 
“JJ” Kie called him out.
“Am I wrong? It isn’t even her money. It’s the money daddy gives her. She doesn’t even do anything for it, she just has it” he continues.
“Oh, shut the fuck up JJ. You never stop talking about me or my family for more than 10 minutes” you stand up, visibly getting angrier.
“Yeah right kook princess, just like how you never-” 
“That’s enough!” John B cuts Jj off before he could finish. The room was now silent.
It always annoyed John B and Sarah how much you and JJ argue. JJ was like John B’s brother just like you’re just like Sarah’s sister. Seeing two people they loved argue really ruined their moods and sometimes they even had arguments about the two of you arguing. 
It wasn’t like John B didn’t like you, he did really like you. When Sarah would show up to a pogue thing, he would always ask for you, you were really easy to talk to, and you always looked out for him and his friends. JJ included. There were times when you had to pay for things for everyone, times when John B needed a little extra money for food, and even having to bail JJ out of jail. And you were always there to help and talk. 
JJ liked Sarah. That was it. She makes John B happy and that’s all that really matters to him. She always treats his friends right and makes them happy too. JJ is started to warm up more to Sarah and is beginning to have an actual conversation with him now. His only problem with Sarah is that she brings you around.
“I’m so sick and tired of the arguing today. Pope, JJ, and I will stay here. Ladies, do whatever you want, I don’t care. Just take her, away from him and we will all be happy” John B points to you and JJ when he says your name, his arms folded once he’s done.
“Yes! That’s a great idea. We could eat at the Wreck. I’m starving” Sarah jumps in, looking at you with the hope that you’ll agree.
“My dad did ask about you last time,” Kie told you, trying to convince you.
You didn’t need convincing. The second John B had said you and JJ needed to be apart, you would’ve done anything. 
“That isn’t fair. I’m hungry too” JJ complained.
“I will gladly leave,” you say.
“Perfect” Sarah sighs, walking to John B as a Bye and see you later.
You wave to Pope and John B who wave back, not indicating if you were coming back or not. The three of you left in Sarah’s car as she was the one who picked you up and drove to the Wreck.
The minute you stepped foot into the vehicle, there was a large weight lifted off of your shoulders. And when you stepped foot into the restaurant, your entire mood changed from annoyed to happy. Maybe it was the atmosphere, but Sarah and Kie are convinced it’s because you are now completely away from JJ.
The three of you strike up a random conversation, you not wanting to even think about the boy who changed the mood for you. After Kie gets your table’s food from the kitchen and you’re all eating is when someone just had to bring him up.
“Maybe you were just hangry when you had that argument with JJ” Sarah starts, and you roll your eyes.
“Or maybe, JJ is just annoying”
“She isn’t wrong, JJ is very annoying” Kie backs you up.
“Yeah but, Y/n. It’s JJ. You can always ignore him” Sarah says.
“If I ignore him he thinks it’s okay to do it. When I talk back he still thinks it’s okay, but he knows that I’m able to defend myself. That within himself already angers him” you say, sipping on your drink.
“I don’t know, maybe you guys just need to have sex,” Kie says plainly.
“Kie!” you and Sarah say at the same time.
“I’m serious. What if all this fighting is just both of you sexually frustrated with each other? Instead of taking each other’s clothes off, you argue with each other” Kie explains herself.
“I would rather get gum in my hair,” you say, biting a fry.
You would be lying if you said you didn’t find JJ attractive. Hell, everyone in, even Rafe did. 
Before you met him, you just liked to look from afar. When you did, you thought maybe if you were nice enough something would blossom. But nothing ever did, just hatred towards you. Maybe that’s why you never could actually hate JJ as much as you disliked him. Maybe it’s the way he laughs, the way he shakes his head like a dog when he gets out of water. Maybe his pretty privilege gives him a pass.
“Her idea doesn’t actually sound too bad,” Sarah says as she thinks about it more.
“Sarah!” you say.
“Think about it. What if one day you and JJ just fuck, do you think you’ll continue to fight?” Sarah asks.
“I don’t want to think about fucking JJ, thank you very much” you respond, going back to eating. After that statement and a few laughs from the table, Sarah strikes up a new conversation. 
Kie took this time to take other tables, every 20 minutes going back to your table to include herself in the conversation. As she was sitting this time, she noticed something, or rather someone.
Kie kicked your food under the table.
“Ow. What was that for?” you complain.
“Don’t look now but that guy behind you is totally checking you out” Kie says, still looking at the guy.
You did the only thing any reasonable person would and looked back, Sarah following suit. When you looked back a boy was looking at you. With light brown hair and blue eyes, he blushed and looked at his friends after you looked at him. He was really cute, like really really cute.
“I told you not to look back” Kie laughed.
“Yeah and I’m glad I did anyway. He’s cute” You say.
“You could always just, talk to him. Maybe get his number” Sarah suggested.
“Yeah right, he’s probably some guy that’s staying for the weekend, I’ll pass. Can you take me home now” You look at Sarah, her eyebrows knit together.
“You aren’t coming back?” she asks, you shake your head.
You were having a good time, going back to where he was would just ruin your mood. So to not risk it, you wanted to go home.
“To spare everyone from an even harder headache, I’ll stay home. I have things to do anyway” you say.
“You mean binge-watch ‘You’ and obsess over Joe Goldberg again” Kie calls you out.
“I can fix him” you respond.
“He’s a serial killer!” Kie responds
The table laughs until Sarah finally agrees, Kie going with her to drop you off at home. You do exactly what Kie said you would do, it’s a little boring but, it’s better than arguing with someone. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
You’re scrolling on your phone when you hear your doorbell ring frantically. Since no one else was home, you take your phone with you as you quickly run down the stairs to open the door. When you open the door, you weren’t expecting Kie.
“Y/n, you have to come. Sarah got stung by a jellyfish” she said frantically
“Wait what, how? Why are you even here shouldn’t you be-” Kie cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.
“She wants you to pee on her. Just put on your shoes and come!” Kie tried pulling you out of the door but you took a step back. “Give me a second,” you said quickly getting your shoes from the side and holding them in your hand until you get in her car.
Kie drove you to the Chateau when she held your hand to the back you already saw Pope and John B on HMS Pogue. 
If John B was here, why did Sarah need you? “Wait, John B? Where’s Sarah?” you ask, getting on the boat, Pope holding your’s and Kie’s hand. 
“She’s on her dad’s. But she insisted we leave to get you to pee on her” John B explained.
“But you’re literally her boyfriend” you respond, confused.
“She said something about how ‘boy pee is dirtier than girl pee’” Pope said, you rolled your eyes. That is something Sarah would say. 
Eventually, John B pulled up next to Sarah’s boat. JJ was nowhere to be found, you had assumed he would be on the boat with Sarah to keep her company. But it was only her and her painful moans in the water.
You get on Sarah’s boat and you try to lift her, “Y/n, you’re here to pee on me” Sarah said cheerfully. 
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not peeing on you Sarah, I’m taking you to the doctor which should’ve been done when you first got stung” you said, sending daggers to John B’s eyes. 
“But you know that you can pee on someone to take the stinging away,” Sarah says leaning against you.
“I don’t even think that’s true but whatever helps you sleep at night,” you say walking to the edge of the boat so John B could take Sarah, who gracefully does his job. 
Once you hand Sarah off you hear banging, and when you look back the cockpit door is moving rapidly. The loud banging with the moving door only makes you more confused. 
“Sarah… Is there someone here?” you ask, expecting some sort of answer. But all you heard was the motor and silence. “Sarah?” you look back where John B’s boat should be but it isn’t there. 
Your eyes go wide, you see them slowly boat away. “Sorry Y/n, I still love you!” Sarah called out from the boat. She still loves you? What does she mean by-
You couldn’t even finish your thought before the cockpit door opens, but someone comes out quickly. When you see the familiar blond hair you want to curl into a ball and never come out again. 
JJ notices you, his eyes wide. He mumbles something under his breath before he goes to where you are and looks at his friends. “What the fuck?!” He yells at them.
“We’re tired of the arguing! We’ll come back in the morning for the both of you” Kie said.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you groaned.
JJ looked at you for a second, then back at his friends. He groans loudly, louder than you which already annoys you.
“They’re kidding right, they’re not actually gonna leave us here?” you ask him, JJ just rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah dumbass, they are. We did it to Kie and Sarah once” JJ told you, he sighed and walked away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose.
You suck your teeth and look where your friends were. But when you felt the familiar something in your shorts you squealed loudly. JJ looked back at you to see what made you so excited. But when you pulled out your phone that was when he got angrier. 
“It isn’t gonna work,” JJ tells you.
“You don’t know that Sarah’s boat should have wifi” 
“I do know that and she doesn’t. Remember she said something about how it never works when it’s away from her house.” JJ rolled his eyes.
When you stood up and raised your phone in the air you cursed yourself. He was right, it wasn’t working. You remember Sarah and Kie laughing about when the pogues did it to them. You had hoped that maybe this would help you and JJ. With that being said instead of trying to make an actual conversation with you, JJ pulls a joint out of his pocket, lights it up, and puts it to his lips before he could even offer it if you wanted.
Even if you rejected his offer, it would’ve shown he was actually trying. You roll your eyes and go down to where you and Sarah usually sleep when you sleep over on the boat. If he wasn’t going to make the effort, why should you? You thought.
You entertained yourself with the games on your phone that didn’t need wifi for a couple of minutes. Then minutes turned into hours when your phone died and you hadn’t seen JJ since you left him. You know he’s hungry because you’re hungry so as much as you dread it, you decide to put an end to the arguing.
You took some chips out of your and Sarah’s secret stash and left the small room. When you walk out the first thing that hits your nose is weed. You walk to the middle of the boat just to find him on the edge of it, smoking a joint, looking in the distance. You walked a little harder so JJ could recognize you were around, and he did, looking back at you. You threw him the chips. 
“I know you’re hungry, consider this a piece offering,” You say, opening your bag and taking out a chip to bite. 
JJ just looked at his chip bag and scoffed, he threw it back at your feet. “I don’t want it,” he said lowly. You roll your eyes, of course, he’s acting like a child. 
“Look, I don’t want to do this as much as you but we should at least give it a try. Us arguing is ruining our friendship with everyone else.” You explain to him
JJ laughed loudly, “you mean you’re ruining your relationship with everyone” 
“Excuse me”
“You heard me. Maybe if you weren’t so annoying you wouldn’t be ruining those friendships, but you are” JJ says 
You’re speechless for a second thinking of what to say before you actually say it. “Last time I check JJ it takes two people to hold an argument. I’m not the only annoying one” 
“Sorry, Princess but that’s all you. Maybe if you didn’t act like a kook you would be able to realize how annoying you are”
“Is that the only reason you don’t like me? Because I’m a kook? That’s real childish of you, JJ” 
JJ stood up at the word childish, getting close to you. “Then so be it, but at least I act like my true self,” he says
“What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask to be a kook, I can’t control that” you defend yourself.
“Yeah but you control who you choose or who not to be friends with,” JJ says, venom rolling off his tongue.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you knew exactly what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.
“You’re a princess who lives in this big castle, everyone caters to you. You can do no wrong, everyone loves you. But you chose to befriend the ones everyone looks down upon. It’s fucking weird and fake” JJ says, raising his voice slightly.
“So you hate me because I’m friends with your friends instead of some random kooks?” 
“No, I hate you because you are you. You’re a spoiled brat who uses daddy’s money to get closer to us. You act so innocent like you don’t know what you��re doing but you do! I don’t know why you’re friends with us Y/n but I know that when Daddy is no longer upset at you, you’ll go crawling back to your kook friends” JJ said, every word he said hurting you slightly more, and more.
“You don’t even know me,” you say angrily.
“And I don’t want to. Think about it. When it was just Sarah, everything was perfectly fine. No one was ever begging someone to stop arguing, we were always happy and laughing. That all changed when Sarah decided to bring you around. You changed everything!”
You were speechless, your mouth slightly wide, your eyebrows furrowed together. JJ has never yelled at you once, so seeing him do it now only made you feel pain. To think you actually liked this guy, to think you tried to befriend him. And all of it was for nothing.
JJ took your silence as an opportunity to go further. “You changed everything! And you changed everything for the worse! Do you actually think we enjoy being with you? Do you really think Pope doesn’t care when you ask him multiple questions? Do you really think Kie doesn’t hate it when you bring up something from the kook academy? Do you really think John B likes you? He only puts up with you because of Sarah. They all only put up with you because of Sarah! So get a grip, stop trying to be my friend, and leave my friends alone!”
The sound of his echoes was the only thing heard. Your eyes began to water. You knew he was wrong, if he wasn’t they would’ve all said something to you or Sarah. But there was a small part of you that believed him. 
JJ had only realized what he said once he noticed your entire face go pale. Like all the life and the spirit you had in you was gone instantly. He felt bad, he didn’t mean the words he said. He was angry, he wanted you to stay away from him. He never wanted to ruin you, when he first saw you, that was his one wish for himself. But he did it anyway.
“Y/n… I’m sorry I didn’t- I didn’t mean it. I- I was just saying-”
“It’s okay, I get it,” you said softly, it’s so soft and quiet. He’s never heard you be this quiet and he never wants to hear you this quiet ever again.
“No, this isn’t-” he took a step closer to you and you took two steps back. “Y/n…”
You wipe the tears that fall, “I’m gonna go back inside the cabin. Have a nice night JJ” you said even quieter than before.
“I’m sorry. Y/n I didn’t mean any of it, you gotta believe me” JJ pleaded with you. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you knew if you did you would only cry more.
 “Yeah JJ. I believe you” you said, looking at him for a second, just a second. Once you do you quickly turn away, walking to the cabin.
JJ didn’t stop you, he wanted to. He didn’t want to make you cry, he never wanted to even see you cry. He ran his fingers through his hair and grabbed the ends of it. He felt like an idiot. He sat down, the unopened bag of chips next to him. He looked at it and shook his head, getting angrier with himself.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
The sunlight fell onto your face, waking you up. Your eyes were tired from all of the crying you did last night. You had a massive headache. Your voice felt so small. Everything from last night made you want to go back to sleep and stay in that cabin for the rest of your life, but you knew that wouldn’t be possible. 
You walked out of the cabin and saw a small bag of chips at the door, the bag of chips you gave him. You throw it back into the cabin and you didn’t even try to look for him. You were on the edge waiting for your friends to come back. 
You finally saw a small white dot in the distance, sighing with relief. But that sigh was too soon because you felt the new presence behind you. The HMS Pogue was getting closer and neither of you said a word. Not until it was almost there that JJ had broken the silence.
“I’m really sorry Y/n. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you because they all aren’t true.”
You stood up and looked at him, “it’s okay JJ. You won’t have to worry about me anymore” you say, looking at the HMS Pogue.
“What?” his blue eyes filled with confusion.
“I’ll stay away from you and your friends. Just so everyone can be happy like they were before me”
“Y/n” was all JJ said when he heard Kie’s voice.
“Did everything go as planned?” she asked. The both of you were silent.
You had climbed down to the HMS Pogue with the help of Pope, both you and JJ silent as ever. 
“Guess not” John B mumbled, climbing onto Sarah’s boat with Sarah. 
“Why are you getting here?” JJ asked. 
“Well, I need my boat back. So John B and I were gonna drive it back to my house and Pop was gonna take the pogue boat and drive to my house in the twinkie to pick us up. You can join John B and me if you want” Sarah offered JJ.
He looked at you who was looking at the ground below you. So quiet you were. JJ nodded, walking away from the edge of Sarah’s boat.
“Pope, can you drive me home before you pick them up? My mom is probably freaking out about where I was last night” you ask him, your eyes soft and the presence you held within them so small.
“Uhm, yeah. Sure, Of course” Pope nodded, starting the HMS Pogue. 
“Uh, we’ll see you guys later,” Kie told John B and Sarah.
“See you later,” Sarah said, but she only looked at you.
The boat ride to the Chateau was the quietest it’s ever been in. You, Pope, and Kie got in the twinkie shortly after docking and just like he said, Pope took you home first. Not without a bye of course.
When you walked into your house, your mother was already waiting for you in the kitchen. After your long minutes of scolding and your punishment of not going outside unless asked to for a week, you went to your room. To do what you did in the cabin. Cry your eyes out.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
The week’s punishment wasn’t bad. You actually enjoyed it. You had an excuse for Sarah and Kie when they asked to hang out. But once the week was up you gave every excuse in the books to not go. You told JJ you would stay away from them, and you are. 
You would be lying if you said it wasn’t lonely, it was very lonely. You were so used to being with them almost every day that now your day just feels empty. And poor Sarah. You would talk to her every day, there wasn’t one time when you weren’t with or texting her. You didn’t tell her what happened on the boat after she asked. You didn’t want their image of JJ to disappear.
JJ was also going through it. Ever since what happened on the boat JJ was quieter than usual, it made the rest of the pogues worry. He also hadn’t told them what happened on the boat mainly because he knew you weren’t going to.
Every time the pogues brought you up JJ just felt guilty. He knows he is the reason why you aren’t showing up anymore, and in a way, the pogues know it too. JJ didn’t know what to do, he wanted to talk to you but he didn’t know if he should actually go to your house. He had a feeling you would just ignore him and tell him to leave. JJ felt helpless, he didn’t know how to clean up the mess he created.
When you woke up this morning you did your usual routine, mainly just sulking. When you went to eat your breakfast though your mom asked to run some errands for her. You asked her why she couldn’t do it and she reminded you that you haven’t been outside in a while, to soak up some sun. 
She was right though, you hadn’t been out since Pope dropped you off. You agreed to run the errands. You got upstairs and decided to try to look decent since you’ve just been in pajamas. Once you were done and looked at yourself in the mirror you felt more like yourself, maybe you felt even a little happier. 
You went in your car to do the things your mom told you to do, playing your music and you felt better than when you first woke up in the morning. You went to the flower shops, you went to your mom’s office to grab something, you went to the grocery store, and the last place you had to go to was Heywards. You saved that for last because you know Pope is usually with his dad, sometimes JJ and John B even helping for extra cash.
Once you walked in Mr. Heyward already smiled at you. “Y/n, how are you doing? Long time no see”
“Mr. Heyward, I’m alright. How are you? How’s Mrs. Heyward” 
“Oh, she’s doing great. You know you could just call me Heyward, Y/n. Mr. Heyward makes me feel old” you both laugh. “What brings you here?” he asks, the smile still on his face. 
“My mom had made an order a couple of days ago she said, I’m just here to pick it up and pay”
“I’ll get right on that” He starts to walk away but he pauses and looks back “You know, the rest of them have been around a couple of times and I haven’t seen you. Pope hasn’t even mentioned you in a while. I guess what I’m letting you know is that they miss having you around” 
“Oh” was your only response, you didn’t know what to say. It felt nice knowing that they miss you, but it pains you to know they still want you around. 
“I’ll get your order now. I’ll be with you right now sir” Mr. Heyward said to someone behind you and walked away quickly.
You looked behind you once he left, and it was a guy behind you. Light brown hair and blue eyes. He looked familiar but you didn’t know from where. When you looked back at him it was like his interest had peaked, once you smiled at him and he returned one you turned away. 
There was an awkward silence between the two of you but Mr. Heyward came out quickly with a bag. “Here you go, that’ll be 67.95,” he said. You gave him a hundred-dollar bill. “You can keep the change Mr. Heyward” you smiled.
Mr. Heyward thanked you and you grabbed the bag walking to your car now. You put the bag in the backseat on the driver’s side but when you shut the door the boy that was inside was walking towards you.
“Hi, I don’t want to take too much of your day. I don’t know if you remember me but I saw you t that one restaurant, you were with your friends, two girls.” He says, you jog your memories and it pops up.
“Yes! I was wondering why you looked so familiar. I remember now, what’s up” you give him a gentle smile.
“Well, I was with my friends there too. And they noticed I was looking at you and they wanted me to ask you out. I kinda chickened out and when you left I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. But now that I have, I think it’s a sign to take my chance. So are you willing to maybe, go on a date with me? You could say no of course but I wouldn’t mind a yes either” he gives you a dazzling smile. He was cute. You haven’t been on a date in forever and you don’t have friends to make plans with. The worst that could happen is the date doesn’t go well.
“Yeah, sure. I’d love to”
The boy smiles wider, “great. That’s perfect uhm- Sorry I thought you would say no” he says, sounding suddenly out of breath. You giggle at him. You pull out your phone and pull up to add to contacts, giving it to him.
“Give me your number and I’ll give you mine. Just text me the details and it’s a date” you say, the boy gives you his phone quickly. You put your phone number and put your name down, then you texted yourself a little message before giving the phone back.
“Oh, I’m Jayden by the way,” the boy says. 
“Y/n” you respond, walking to open your car door. “I’ll see you around Jayden” you opened the door. 
“Likewise, I’ll get right on with the details,” Jayden says, you nod and he walks away a smile on both of your faces. 
You enter your car and drive home in a much better mood, you needed this. A cute date with a cute guy. This could lead to absolutely nothing or maybe just a short fling, you didn’t mind either. Maybe this could help you take your mind off of the pogues.
But the pogues wouldn’t take their mind off of you. Especially not anymore. Pope was outside of Heyward’s and watched when you first pulled up to his dad’s business. Not only that but his dad mentioned you were there. Pope saw you walk out and saw a guy he’s never seen before walk up to you. He watched as you listened to what the boy was saying and he saw when you gave him your number.
He didn’t know when he was gonna bring it up but he knew he would tell the rest of them. There was a part of him that felt like it wasn’t anyone’s business, to just leave you alone. But then he reminded himself how much everyone is moping around, maybe this will be a clue.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
Some time has passed since you were at Heyward’s. A month to be exact. 
You were happier than the month prior. The date with Jayden went so well you had another one not long after. Then you started hanging out more and more. Then he kissed you. Not long after he asked you to be his girlfriend.
You felt like it was too short, you hadn’t known him for long and he was already asking you to be his girlfriend. But you accepted anyway.
It’s been almost two months since the last time you saw the pogues. Almost two months since you saw Sarah. God, you missed her. You wanted to tell her all about Jayden, you wanted to have a girls’ day with her and Kie. You wanted to be with the pogues. You wanted to laugh like you used to, you wanted to surf with people who knew how to, and you wanted to feel fun again.
Jayden introduced you to his friends after the second date. Neither he nor his friends lived in the Outer Banks, they all lived on the mainland. They usually came out here for the summer but the commute from there to the mainland wasn’t long, so the relationship was doable when summer is over.
His friends, Austin, Rafael, Kolton, and Garrett are nice, they engage in conversations with you. The girls, April, Diana, and Alana didn’t bother you. They seemed to like you, always finding something to compliment you with. This group of friends was so much different than the one you were so familiar with. The pogues felt like a family, this one was separated into two, the boys and the girls. Everyone spoke to each other but you knew there was something deeper inside the group, a secret not everyone knew about.
You’ve mainly just been with Jayden and his friends, going to one of their house parties a couple of times. It wasn’t like the keggers but it did help you forget about the people you’d rather be with.
You were now getting ready to pick up Jayden to go to Rafael’s house, doing a light amount of makeup since you’ll be in his pool. You hear a knock on your door, you tell your mom she can come in. Your back is turned away from the door so when you hear it close followed by silence you look back. The person you didn’t expect to see was Sarah.
“Sarah… What are you.. What are you doing here?” you ask.
“Are you serious right now, Y/n?” Sarah said she is visibly angry.
You close your eyes and breathe out, once you opened them Sarah didn’t wait for a second to continue to speak.
“I haven’t seen you in almost two months. You haven’t texted me back in a week and a half to hang out with you and every time you do text back it’s some stupid excuse. I try calling you, Kie has tried calling you, hell, even John B has tried calling you to come over. I have to show up at your house unannounced and lie to your mom about being here and why she hasn’t seen me in so long. And your first words to me are asking me what I’m doing here?” she rants
You’re quiet. You don’t know what to say. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to solve this problem. Your silence only makes Sarah angrier.
“And Pope- he told us he saw you with some boy last week, apparently this is the second time he’s seen you with him. And not once did you even think to tell me. Is this what you’re doing? Are you just abandoning us for some random guy? Why aren’t you saying anything?!” her voice finally gets loud, she didn’t want your mom to worry but she wanted you to understand how she feels.
“Now, I’m not abandoning you guys. I’m just taking a break. You don’t get it alright” you say, getting up from your vanity and walking back and forth across your room.
“I don’t get it because you never told me anything. One day we were great, we put you and JJ on a boat and the next morning you never speak to me again. What happened on that boat?”
“JJ and I just had a bad argument. Instead of arguing, I’m just taking a break from him so we wouldn’t argue so much” it wasn’t the full truth, but it was something you could give her. Sarah stood silent to let you speak.
“If you were tired of the arguing imagine how I was. And as for the boy, I met him when Pope saw us the first time I’m guessing. But the second time, we had just started dating. We still are dating. I’m going out to see his friends now” 
Sarah was silent, trying to process everything you were saying. You, dating a guy you hadn’t known for long was unlike you.
“I’m fine Sarah. I’m doing good actually. I have a good boyfriend who is treating me right and his friends are treating me like they’ve known me longer than they’ve known him. You and the rest of the pogues can stop worrying about me now. I’ll be around soon but right now, I’m not ready yet”
Sarah sucked on her teeth, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. You started putting on your shoes and started walking to the door, Sarah stepping in your way.
“Where do you think you’re going?” 
“I already told you, I’m going to my boyfriend’s friend’s house to hangout”
Sarah scoffed, “so you’re leaving this here, all for some people you barely even know? This isn’t like you, Y/n. Just talk to me and we could have this all figured out”
“I don’t want to talk right now Sarah and I promised Jayden I would be there today. I’m sorry for everything and I’m sorry for leaving right now but I have to go whether you like it or not.” 
You maneuvered around her and opened the door, walking out of your room and going down the stairs. “Y/n” Sarah called out, you looked back as she was slowly going down the stairs.
“If you need anything. Someone to laugh with, someone to gush about your new boyfriend too, someone to cry on their shoulder. I’m here” Sarah said, her voice shaky like she was about to cry. 
You walked to Sarah and hugged her tightly, tears streaming down both of your faces. You knew this wasn’t a goodbye, this wasn’t something where you would never see her again. It was more of a way of both of you saying you miss each other without actually saying you miss each other.
“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” you whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded quickly after, “yeah, I’d like that” she laughed lightly, you laughing with her.
You separate from her and just look at her for a moment. You get the feeling to just ditch Jayden and stay with Sarah. Go back to the chateau and just hang out with everyone. You just tell everyone about the new people you met and make fun of them. You knew JJ would like it too, he had a thing for making fun of wealthy people.
But you didn’t.
You walked out of your front door, saying bye to Sarah and you drive to Jayden’s house. You waited for him to come out of his house and you looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes puffy, a sign you had been crying. But that didn’t matter, your only thoughts were of the pogues suddenly, your only thoughts were of him.
When Jayden showed up in your car and kissed your lips. He didn’t even question your state and just went straight to talking about nonsense. Talking about things you never really cared about. You would look at him occasionally. Just because you were admiring him. You only ever did that with him. But because you started to think did you really like Jayden, or was he some sort of distraction? 
You showed up at Rafael’s house, everyone already in some sort of bathing suit with a beer in their hand. You didn’t want one so once you settled down, you got into the pool. Conversations striking left and right. But you weren’t interested in them. Your mind always wandered to someplace else. You were like this the entire night.
You kept thinking about them and how happier you would be if you were there. Sarah’s words made you feel like you abandoned them. But JJ didn’t want you there. He didn’t like you being there. Then why do you keep thinking of him? Why are you imagining yourself with JJ, being a little too close if he didn’t like you? 
It’s a shame your mind is everywhere else but present. Maybe if your mind was where everyone else was you would notice the pity stares you’re getting right now. Maybe you would notice Diana getting close to Jayden. Maybe you would notice their whispering. But you didn’t. And every time you looked at him, he smiled back at you. 
You felt pity for him. From your perspective, you’re thinking of a different guy while you’re still with him. To you, he isn’t a bad boyfriend. To you, he deserves better. When you get up, he separates himself from Diana, and you walk over to him, sitting next to him. You kissed his cheek and then started to engage in the current conversation.
After you left Sarah went to the chateau, telling everyone what happened. She told them about how you have a new boyfriend named Jayden. She told them what you looked like. You looked normal but you didn’t look like yourself. She told them her suspicions. She told them she thinks you don’t even want to be with Jayden and that you don’t want to be with his friends either.
JJ heard it all. He wanted to go pick you up and take you back here with him. But who is he to you? The guy who made her push everyone away. The guy who made become friends with this random guy’s friends. He caused all of this. So why would you listen to him?
He was jealous when Sarah mentioned Jayden. He had been jealous when Pope had brung it up at first. He was the one who convinced the group that maybe the boy she gave her number to was just a friend. But the group knew he wasn’t, they just let JJ think he convinced them. JJ mainly convinced himself. He was jealous when Pope saw you and him again, “clinging onto each other” in Pope’s words. 
JJ knew he shouldn’t be jealous, he was the one that helped the guy. But there was still that part of him that couldn’t help being jealous.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
You and Sarah slowly started to make up. You met up with her once since she showed up at your house three weeks ago. You spoke more about how you were doing, and how Jayden was, even showing pictures of him and all of his friends. Sarah did the same, talking about the pogues and about how much they missed you. She told you how JJ has been different since the boat. He was a lot quieter and a little calmer. It was getting harder and harder for him o want to go out, John B, Kie, and Pope doing all they could to even get him to surf. JJ loves surfing.
He didn’t even want to party anymore. Just wanted to stay in John B’s bed all day and sleep all day. It was different from the JJ you once knew.
Sometime after the meetup Sarah had convinced you to let Jayden meet her, baby steps she said. This was mainly so Sarah could get his vibe and report back to the pogues but she didn’t tell you that. She claimed it was because she wanted to warn him if he ever broke your heart.
Today was the day, Sarah had told you to meet up at the Wreck so all you had to do was get Jayden and meet her there. You had called and texted him with no response, something you’re getting used to lately because he keeps oversleeping. When he does you have to go to his room and wake him up so you knew that’s what you would most likely do today. You got ready and texted him you were on the way just in case he woke up in the middle of your driving.
You pulled to his house and walked in, already knowing the door was opened. You walked up the stairs and knocked on his door, once, twice. No response. You twisted the knob to see if he had locked it or not. But it was unlocked.
You walked in saying, “Jayden, we’re meant to be seeing Sarah today, can you wake-”
You stopped yourself. The sight in front of you makes you sick. You feel humiliated, embarrassed, angry, and lied to.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you say loudly, Jayden and Diana jumping awake.
Both of their eyes wide, “Wait wait wait wait. Baby, Baby-” Jayden started.
“Don’t you fucking baby me. How dare you? How dare you?!” You ask him.
Diana pulled the covers over her body, “Y/n, I’m so sorry I-” she started.
“Save it.” you kept your eyes on Jayden. “I can’t fucking believe this, how long has this been going on?”
The both of them were silent. “Fucking Answer me!” you yell.
“Since before I saw you at that place the first time” Jayden responded.
Your head felt dizzy. You couldn’t believe this. This was the secret this group was hiding. 
“Y/n, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t- It was an accident” Jayden said getting closer to you.
“An accident? An accident is spilling milk on the floor or tripping somewhere. This is no accident! You putting your dick inside her multiple times is not an accident!” you said getting angrier.
“I have needs baby, come on. We were together for a month and we never had sex. You don’t even send pics. I needed to release, baby. You understand that, don’t you?”
You were stunned. All of this was because he needed to fuck someone? He just needed a good lay? Is he fucking serious? Trying to blame you when he can’t keep his dick in his pants.
Although you didn’t feel an ounce of love for him. This still hurt you. No one likes being cheated on. 
“And to think I was gonna introduce you to my best friend today” tears started to stream down your face. 
“Y/n…” he says quietly, his arms open, taking a step closer. You step back.
“No. We’re done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even look at me!” you yell at him, tears still coming out of your eyes. Your eyes went to Diana, “and you. I liked you.” you scoffed. You walked out of his room, the tears trickling down to your clothes, messing your makeup up.
Once you get into your car and start driving to your house, you almost forgot to call Sarah. When you dial her number down she answers immediately, “I’m almost out the door right now-” she started, her voice cheerful as ever.
“Don’t even bother showing up. He’s a dick” you said, it was obvious you had been crying.
“Y/n, are you okay baby? What happened?” Sarah asked, worry in her voice.
You begin to cry again, even just saying the words make you sick.
“Jayden he- he was in bed with Diana,” you said, a cry following after you.
“Oh babe, I’ll be at your house in two seconds. I’ll be there” Sarah said, the sound of her front door closing.
“No, Sarah. I- Don’t come please, I-”
“I told you when you need a shoulder to cry on,  I’ll be there. I’m on my way now” she said hanging up.
She felt awful for you. She texted Kie about the change of plans, she was staying with you for the rest of the day. Jayden cheated on you.
Kie told John B, Pope, and JJ. Hearing you got cheated on made JJ’s blood boil. What was the point of being with you if he was gonna cheat? He couldn’t stay loyal for a month? JJ wanted to do something, anything. He was about to go to your house but Kie had reminded him Sarah would be there with you. 
That’s what stopped him. Knowing you had someone else there with you.
And you did.
Sarah showed up at your house and hugged you tighter than she’s ever hugged you before. You just cried and cried and cried on the poor girl. Sarah helped you clean your makeup off as she reminded you how beautiful you look. Sarah would look at her phone occasionally, it was mostly Kie telling her how worried JJ is and JJ texting her to see how you were holding up.
You told her everything, how Jayden first started to not wake up. Now looking back it was just him waking up Diana and getting her out before you could see her. Or maybe he hid her when you showed up. You didn’t care. You told her what happened at his friend’s house, how after Sarah spoke to you all, you thought about the pogues. All you thought about was how it would’ve been better if you were with them. 
You and Sarah at one point changed into pajamas, Sarah changing into the one she leaves behind. After several hours of crying, yelling, singing, and dancing. It was beginning to get late, your eyes were both tired from the crying but also tired because you were just exhausted.
Sarah held you in her arms, your mind begins to wander. 
“Do they know?” you ask quietly. Sarah knew exactly who you were talking about. She nodded.
“What did he say?” you ask even quieter. Sarah knew who you were talking about, but she wanted you to say it. “Who?” she asks. 
“JJ.” 
Sarah closes her eyes, holding you tighter. You were fully expecting her to say nothing, you were expecting her to say he didn’t care.
“He’s been worried sick. It’s kinda cute actually. Look” Sarah says, showing you her phone and the text messages JJ has sent.
You weren’t expecting so many texts asking how you were, if he could come over, how could he help, when she thinks you’ll be fine. Sarah just kept responding with you were getting there, that he shouldn’t come over, that he shouldn’t help, and that it takes time.
But every time JJ insisted on going over, he wanted to know your current status, he wanted to help. Once Sarah stopped answering, he kept texting the same messages as before. 
At the bottom of the screen, you see the familiar three dots. They disappeared for a second and a new message popped up. “I see you reading my texts. Answer them and let me come over Sarah.”
You smile, something Sarah hasn’t seen in a while. You close your eyes once Sarah takes her phone away.
“I know this isn’t the right time. But whatever he said on the boat, Y/n. He didn’t mean it.” Sarah says quietly, when you didn’t respond, she went on.
“You see he cares about you Y/n. And it isn’t my place to tell you. But you mean a lot to him, he just doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes”
You sighed.
“Goodnight, Sarah”
Sarah was quiet, getting the memo.
“Goodnight, Y/n”
 ─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
It’s been quiet now. You’ve just been in your room. Like how you were after the boat. Sarah would come over every single day, even if it meant spending 30 minutes with you, she would come over. She would even sometimes bring Kie with her. 
And every time either of them would come over, their phone would always get a text ping. And every time you glanced at their phone. Even a little bit. It always said either JJ or JJ Maybank.
You’ve been moping around, Sarah was starting to feel bad, summer was about to end and John B had suggested throwing a kegger a few days ago, JJ was not really into the idea. He also said this could be an opportunity to try to get you back with the pogues. Once John B said that JJ was down.
So after Sarah was at the chateau and went to your house to just hang out, she had brought some clothes over so she could leave to the kegger after your house. But she wanted you to join her. 
As she was getting ready in your room, you were snuggled up in your bed, watching her mumble some song lyrics that were playing in your room. Sarah always looked pretty, but she would always outdo herself when it comes to parties. She loved going to them and she loved the thrill of being at them. The adrenaline rushes you get and the energy that everyone has bounces off each other.
“You should come,” Sarah said, sending you out of your trace.
“What?”
“You should come. You haven’t been to a party in forever” she looked back at you.
“That isn’t true. Remember I would go to Jayden’s friend’s parties” you remind her, she rolled her eyes at the name of Jayden.
“Yeah, but those don’t count. I mean you haven’t been to a party with me in forever. If you don’t come right, you’ll have a shitty summer”
“This summer has already been shit.” you roll your eyes. Sarah walked to the side of your bed and pouted.
“I would be really happy if you came Y/n. I miss you”
You laugh, “I’m right here. You saw me yesterday and the day before that and the day before that you even brought Kie.”
“I miss the fun you have.”
You stood silent. The words hurt. Not because Sarah said it in a mean way, but because she was true. You haven’t been having fun, with anyone. You were different. More bland and private. Sarah used to be able to read you completely. Now you built a wall, so thick and so high that she hasn’t been able to break through it.
“Y/n,” Sarah says quietly, looking at you in your eyes. “What did JJ say on the boat?”
Your eyes leave hers. You didn’t want to tell her. You don’t want to. You didn’t want her to think of JJ differently. You didn’t want her to hate her boyfriend’s best friend. But god did you need to get it off of your chest.
“Just promise you won’t think of him differently” Sarah nodded.
“I said promise, Sarah,” you said, your voice stern.
Sarah was confused at the change of tone, “I promise I won’t think of him differently. And I won’t hate him”
You looked at her and nodded.
“After you guys left us, we didn’t talk. I was waiting for him to talk to me. Then the sun started to set and my phone had died, I thought to make a peace offering, I could give him our stash since you guys didn’t leave us food.” 
“I told John B you guys needed something but continue”
You smiled at her for a second. “Let me just say, JJ was pissed that you guys left us alone. Like he was distraught, more so than me. And I only know that because was on the edge of where you guys left us, looking in the direction you left in. But I tried to give him the chips and talk to him but he just refused. We started arguing per usual but this time he just seemed angrier. He was saying things about how I chose to be friends with the pogues and how I could’ve been friends with kooks. He then went on to say how none of you guys liked hanging out with me and gave me reasons why you put up with me”
Sarah’s heart dropped. She knew JJ, and she knew that wasn’t like JJ. She knew what she was going to do at the party.
“I know now, he’s just an idiot and wasn’t thinking before he spoke. He was just upset. He even apologized after he said it, and tried apologizing the morning after. And I don’t fully forgive him. But hearing what he was saying hurt Sarah, terribly. At that moment I thought they were true. So I told him I wouldn’t be around you guys anymore, and I wasn’t around you guys.” 
“Can I hug you?”
You nodded, Sarah getting closer to you as you both wrapped your arms around each other. “I’m so sorry that happened. None of what he said is true. I’ll talk to him tonight”
“No, don’t.” You cut her off. Sarah separated herself, confused. “I just.. I don’t want him to be mad that I told someone. I don’t want him to hate me more than he does”
Sarah laughed, “he doesn’t hate you, Y/n. He never did. He just needed to find a reason to hate you. But since you don’t want me to talk about him, I won’t.” She lied. Of course, she was going to tell him. She knew he wouldn’t be upset, but even if he did, she wouldn’t have cared.
“Thanks” you smiled at her. Sarah smiled and got up from the bed, going to your closet. Your brows knit together. “What are you doing?”
“I’m picking out your outfit for the kegger”
You sat up from your bed, “Who said I was going?”
“I did” Sarah smiled.
“Sarah, I don’t have an outfit, my hair isn’t done, and it’ll take me too long to get ready. I can’t go”
Sarah pulled out a short black dress you had stuffed in your closet long ago. “You have an outfit, I can do your hair and makeup. It’ll be quiet” Sarah said a devilish smile on her face.
“What about my mom?”
“Y/n, you walk out of your house all the time. What’s stopping you now? Just come to the kegger.”
“What if Jayden’s there?”
Sarah rolled her eyes, “he’s not gonna be there, and if he is fuck him. Show him what he cheated on. He’s a loser anyone so it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not.”
You thought about it. A smile crept on your face. You nodded and Sarah squealed loudly. She pulled you out of bed and sat you down on your vanity. She pulled your hair down and quickly went to work, taming the beast you developed over time. Not long after she started to do your makeup, telling you how excited she was you were going. Giggling at just the thought before everything started. She told you how excited Pope and John B were gonna be, she even included JJ in it.
Once she was done with your makeup you got changed in your bathroom, once you were in the dress you looked at yourself in the mirror. You knew you were gonna get clod but who cares? You looked more like yourself than you did when you were with Jayden. You liked how you looked, Sarah did a good job making it look like it took hours to get ready. 
“Are you gonna come out or stay locked up in your bathroom forever?” Sarah called out from the outside. You laughed and opened the door, her mouth opening the minute she saw you. “You look so hot!” she squealed loudly.
“I feel like it too,” you say, Sarah, laughing.
“This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get you drunk” Sarah giggled.
“No way, I’m the DD. I agreed to go, you have to agree with me now” 
Sarah pouted and gave you puppy eyes. “That may work on John b, but it doesn’t work on me. So give me your keys, I’m driving and let’s get the fuck out of here.” 
Sarah smirked, “don’t make me makeout with you right now,” she said, you both laughed, and eventually Sarah gave you the car keys as you both got into the car.
Sarah was controlling the music the whole time while you were driving to the beach. She was yelling and screaming every lyric to every song she played. Her voice just never got tired and it made you laugh the entire time. You joined her for a couple of songs, but you mainly enjoyed the show. You missed this.
When you parked the car Sarah got out after seeing her boyfriend from the window. She smiled at the way she clung onto him like he was her lifeline. You wished you had something like that, but the last thing you needed right now was boy troubles.
You locked the door and walked up to where Sarah was, who was just with the pogues, except JJ. When you showed up John B and Pope’s eyes lit up. Pope hugged you immediately, “God I missed you. I was starting to lose brain cells with these guys,” he said. You just laughed. “Long time no see,” John B said.
“Yeah, Long time no see. Missed you guys” You respond, John B awes you and hugs you.
“Can we please share her? I need to hug her too” Kie said. 
“You saw her two days ago. I haven’t seen her in almost three months” John B defended himself, still keeping you close.
Kie pulled John B away from you and hugged you gently, “Are you back now?” she asked. The rest of the pogues behind Kie waiting for an answer. You roll your eyes playfully, “since you insist” you say.
They cheer, everyone now excited to have you around again. John B gets you a cup filled with some liquor, “I’m the DD tonight, can’t” you respond.
“But it’s your first night back” Kie pleaded with you.
“I know, but I want to make sure everyone is okay for the night. Next one I’ll drink” you promised them. The pogues nodded and John B took whatever was inside the cup for you.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and catching up. You and Kie finally talk about what happened since you were gone, bringing up the fact that JJ was different. 
“Where is he anyway?” you asked.
“He was here before you showed up, probably off with some girl” Kie responded, going back to how everything was.
You felt a pang in your heart with the thought of him with someone else. This wasn’t the first time you felt that pang when someone mentioned JJ with a girl. But there wasn’t much you could do about it. So you chose to do what you always did, ignored it.
You spoke to John B about Sarah, and how much she missed you while you were gone. But when she started going over to your house every day that she was happier than ever. He acknowledged what happened with Jayden and said he was sorry for what happened. John B always felt like a brother to you, so it was no surprise that your heart grew warm when he felt bad. You told him not to worry about it and to just focus on Sarah tonight and have fun.
You then moved on to Pope who had, so many things to tell you. He was never a big drinker so he was soberer than you are you thought. He told you all of his thoughts and theories he had when you were away. He was giving you updates about schools and such and explained he missed having deep, thoughtful conversations with you. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw a girl looking at him. You whispered it into his ear and when he looked she blushed. You took that as a sign to find Sarah as you told him to shoot his shot.
You went looking for a certain blond. You hadn’t seen him the entire time you were there and you were beginning to think he left at some point. Sarah found you first though, so when she saw you, she pulled you and started to dance with you. You could tell Sarah was already drunk but you didn’t mind it, the whole point of the kegger was to get drunk and have fun.
You’ve been at the kegger for a couple of hours now, talking to other people, meeting the last of the tourins that were the last on the island. You were enjoying yourself, completely sober, and still having a good time. 
But then you saw him. 
Hanging out with his friends. Pointing at you and looking back at his friends. You were gonna ignore him, he didn’t deserve your time of day. Once the laughing got louder you chose to try to walk away. You didn’t want to start something at the kegger, not after everything you’ve been this summer already.
But once you started to walk away, someone bed your arm. You quickly turn around and it’s April. Jayden’s other girl friend, or maybe someone else he was sleeping with.
“Y/n, where’d you go? Come join us” April said.
You shook your head quickly, “I’m sorry April. I have to get back to my friends” you say, putting your hand on top of her’s so she could let go. 
“We just wanted to talk to you, it’ll take five minutes. Tops.” April smiled, you were cautious. You looked around the kegger for any sign of your friends so you could get out of this situation. But you couldn’t find one, not even Sarah who had been dancing the whole night. When you looked back you were already being dragged back to April and the rest of Jayden’s friends.
“Y/n!” Kolton called out, you awkwardly smiled. He was standing in between his friends, looking at you up and down. Smirking.
“We haven’t seen you in forever. Just because Jayden was fucking Diana doesn’t mean you should ditch us” Austin slurred, the rest of them laughing with him.
“Hey could you guys make this quick, I have to be with my friends,” you tell them, visibly uncomfortable.
“Your friends that you left? That you replaced?” Alana started, “if they were your friends you wouldn’t have replaced them. Stay here with us” you looked at Jayden since he was the only person who knew about the pogues, he didn’t know why you left them, just the fact that you spaced yourself from them.
“I’m sorry if you guys aren’t gonna say something worth my time, I’ll get going,” you say, beginning to walk away. But Jayden had grabbed your wrist.
“Don’t worry about them, I just wanted to talk to you. We’re all drunk” Jayden confessed, the rest of them laughing. You tried to pull your wrist away but he kept his hold on it.
“I just wanted to talk to you.” He repeats, one of his hands caressing your cheek, the other still on your wrist. You moved your face away from his touch.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Jayden”
He scoffed. “You don’t want to talk to me? Why? Because I was fucking someone behind your back?” he laughed. “It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I mean it doesn’t seem like it is now. You’re at a party, dancing like a slut. Talking to other guys” 
Your eyes widened at his words. He probably won’t even remember this in the morning. You didn’t care about him, you never loved him, and he was just your boyfriend for a little over a month. You shouldn’t even count that as a relationship.
But if he didn’t matter, why are his words making you upset?
“I should’ve guessed you liked being thrown around. If I did I could’ve given my boys a chance. Right guys?” he asked his friends
“You know I was already asking for it,” Rafael said.
“I don’t like used-up whores” Kolton responded with bitterness in his voice. His friends laughed at his comment.
“Come on, compared to April? It’ll be an upgrade” Garrett said.
“She’s been used up. I should know. And every other guy here knows it too” Jayden continues.
“Didn’t you say you were fucking Diana because I wasn’t giving it up to you? Retracing your words?” you remind him. Jayden smiles.
“That’s what was my favorite thing about you. You were always so feisty. It’s kinda turning me on now” he said getting closer. 
Your fight or flight kicks in finally, and you try to get his hand on your wrist. “Let go of me” you mumbled to him. His friends around him are saying awful things about it. Calling you a slut, a whore, ugly, dry, used up, fake, annoying. Everything in the books.
“Come on, Y/n. One last time” Jayden said, his lips getting close to yours. But you slap him just before he could. He was holding the side of his face with both of his hands, your wrists finally free.
“Leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck off the island,” You said sternly, you walked away from them and went straight to where the drinks were. 
Their words to you shouldn’t matter, they don’t matter to you. Just some random people you knew for a month at most. Then why are you washing down their insults with drinks? You were taking shots, anyone that handed you a drink, you took, you even made your own. With the alcohol in your system, you forgot everything they said, you forgot everything that happened over the summer. It didn’t matter anymore, you were having fun.
JJ had been watching you from the minute you showed up, from afar obviously. He could tell you were looking for him at some points, but he didn’t have the guts to go up to you. So he just stood watching. 
Usually, JJ would have a drink, but he didn’t have one. You may hate him and he saw that you weren’t drinking but he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He saw the way you spoke to John B, Kie, Pope, he saw the way you danced with Sarah. You looked like you needed this break from the world. He saw you speaking to some old friends and saw you speak with some new ones, but you looked okay.
He saw someone walk up to you, a very drunk girl. He saw you look around but you end up being pulled away. JJ is about to walk up to you but someone else gets his attention.
“JJ!” Sarah calls, sloppily walking over to him, JJ meets her halfway and laughs, his back now facing where you were. 
“Sarah, how much have you had to drink?” JJ asked, still laughing.
“Not enough, but that isn’t why I came over here. I wanted to talk to you about Y/n” she slurred her words, but JJ understood every word. His face became serious when your name was mentioned.
“She told me what happened on the boat. And I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I really like you.” Sarah says, “but I know you like Y/n”
JJ’s face turned pink, he felt blessed that it was night and Sarah wasn’t able to see that well. “What? Where’d you get that idea” he asked her.
“You’re always asking for her JJ. You’re always looking for her, even before the boat thing. I want you to know I get it, you have abandonment issues. So do I, look at my mom. But I don’t want those issues to define who you are and how you are around people” Sarah’s words are combined, but JJ is listening. “I know you like her. I know you think you shouldn’t be with her. I think the same thing with John B. But you know what I do? I show him more love and affection than he’s ever had before.”
Sarah pauses to catch her breath, drinking what’s in her red solo cup. “And she doesn’t hate you. She never has hated you. I always told John B that you two would look so cute together. And you guys would. But I need you to be better to her, JJ. I need you to forget about your issues for a second and show her who you truly are.” she ranted, “If you want her, you’re gonna have to work harder than before, But it’ll be worth it because she’s worth it. You need to fight for her. She likes you too JJ. That’s why she took your words so seriously. Cause your opinion matters to her more than John B’s or Pope’s or Kie’s. Maybe even mine” Sarah laughed at the last sentence. “So be kind to her, show her how you truly feel about her, and make sure you love her more than she loves you. Because of you don’t, I’ll break your neck” she laughed even louder than before.
JJ was thinking about her words, and even though she was drunk, she wasn’t wrong. JJ has always liked you, he thinks he always will like you. JJ was always a player but when you showed up, he got worse because of it. It came to the point where he imagined you instead of the girl he was actually with. 
John B came over and put his arm around Sarah, “what’s happening over here?” he laughs, sipping his drink now too. John B is now drunk, to be expected.
“I was just telling JJ that he should be with Y/n and that he likes her and that she likes him back” Sarah filled him in, and John B’s mouth opened.
“Dude, I’ve been saying for like ever. It came to the point where I thought you were in love with her” John B laughs, “and she likes you back”
“That’s what I’m saying!” Sarah said loudly, both her and her boyfriend now laughing.
“Then when they start dating we can go on double dates. We’ll be so cute, all of us” Sarah commented. 
“Just go for it. I know she means a lot to you, she always had.” John B said.
“Do I mean a lot to you?” Sarah asked him.
“Of course baby. I love you” John B said.
“I love you too,” Sarah said, their lips then locked on each, making out in front of JJ. 
He internally threw up in his mouth and turned around, but when he looked back he didn’t see you anymore. His eyes scattered everywhere and he couldn’t find you. He saw the new friends you made, he saw the mini bar, he saw some kooks, he saw a guy with his friends holding his face, he saw where you danced earlier.
JJ decided to make himself be seen, he saw Kie who was talking to some girl about ocean stuff. Kie also being drunk.
“Hey, have you seen Y/n?” JJ asked
“No, but she was looking for you earlier. Did you see her earlier she was looking so hot” Kie confessed. 
“Yeah, she was. If you see her, tell me” JJ said moving along to Pope.
“Hey man, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Pope said, clearly sober as day.
“Yeah, just been watching. Have you seen Y/n?”
Pope shook his head, “last time I saw her she was taking shots with some guys. When I went up to her she gave me Sarah’s keys.” he said holding them out.
JJ nodded, he took out the keys to the twinkie, “here, take these. You’ll drive John B and Sarah home tonight. I’ll take Kie and Y/n” 
Pope nodded to the new plan, the two of them traded keys and JJ walked away. He was now looking for you. He started to ask random people if they saw you, everyone saying something different.
Forty-five minutes had passed since he spoke to Pope and he still hasn’t found you. It was 3 AM and the kegger was still alive as ever. JJ was looking for you everywhere and he couldn’t find the girl who last spoke to you. Once JJ walked further down the beach, he then saw a familiar pretty girl in a familiar pretty black dress.
You were wobbling all over the place, talking to some random guy about your problems. Your words were slurring worst than Sarah’s who you saw ten minutes okay. But you then hear a familiar voice.
“Y/n?” he says.
You turn around and there he is. You excuse yourself from the guy, and cling to him “JJ!” you say excitingly.
JJ was so confused, the last time he saw you, you were stone-cold sober. Now he’s seeing you towards the water, wobbling around, talking to the air, and excusing yourself from the same air to hug him tightly. 
“I missed you so much,” you say to him, your head in his chest. You were way too drunk for him to try to stall to wait for Kie. He decided he would take you home right there, Pope could take Kie with him.
“Hey, we’re gonna go home okay?” 
All you do was nod, separate yourself from him, and start walking with him, wobbling next to him. JJ noticed it immediately and held onto you, his hand on your side to pull you close to him, your arm around his shoulders. 
JJ began to look for Pope who he found quickly, he raised his eyebrows and looked at you. Pope got the memo and nodded, now watching Kie. Once JJ knew he walked to Sarah’s car, you were babbling the whole way there. And once you got to the car you were silent, JJ opened the backseat so you could lie down.
He made sure you were comfortable and secure, once he knew you were he went in the driver’s seat. The minute he started driving, you started to speak up again.
“Where are we going?” you ask.
“I’m dropping you off home,” JJ said.
“No no no no no. I don’t want to go home. I want to go to John B’s house. Where you stay”
“Are you sure? I could take you to your hou-”
“No!” you demanded, “Alright, calm down,” JJ said.
“Hey, next one’s on me” 
“Whatever you say, cupcake”
You laughed quietly in the back, then it slowly became louder. “What’s so funny?” he asked.
“So you know about Jayden right? The guy that cheated on me? Well, he was the keeger and his friends were saying so many things to me. Like really mean things, and so was he. But tonight I-” you cut yourself off with your laughter. “I slapped him” you laughed even louder than before.
JJ stood silent, letting you speak longer. “It was so funny, you should’ve seen his face. You should’ve been there,” you said then you were quiet for a while. “Why weren’t you there?” you asked quietly.
JJ looked at you through his top mirror and then looked back at the road. He cleared his throat, “I was there” he responded.
“No, you weren’t. I kept looking for you and looking for you and I couldn’t find you. I thought you were with a girl. Were you?”
“No, I was watching you”
“Like a stalker?”
JJ was silent. Now that you say it like that it sounded creepy. He was just looking out for you but that’s something else a stalker would say. The more he thought about it the more it made him uncomfortable, but you sent him out of his trance with you giggling.
“JJ Maybank is my stalker” you giggled to yourself. JJ stood quiet letting you have your moment.
“Jayden was so boring anyway, I was out of his league anyway.” 
“You sure are” 
“You haven’t even seen him and you’re agreeing. That’s how you know I’m right” JJ laughed at your drunken state. Your words slurring together and the way you’re trying so hard to form a sentence is so cute to him.
“He just wanted to hangout with his boring friends all the time. And I always had to take him because he didn’t know how to drive” you laughed. “Do you know how I found out he cheated on me? We were meant to meet Sarah and then when I got to his house, I found him in bed with his girl space friend. Might as well be his actual girlfriend for how long they were fucking each other, it started before he and I started dating, which wasn’t long but still. And you know what excuse he gave? Because we never had sex, isn’t that childish?” You ranted.
JJ has only ever heard what Sarah has told him, so hearing you say how it went, made JJ upset. More than upset. It felt like when he first heard you got cheated on. He never found out why he cheated on you, but now that he does, he’s angry about it. He cheated on you because he needed to fuck someone and you weren’t willing? He’s a fucking idiot he thought. “You wouldn’t do that, would you JJ?” you ask him.
“No, not to you”
“Not to me or in general?”
“Both,” he said.
You and JJ stood silent. 
“JJ do you hate me?” you ask.
He looks at you through the mirror again, “I could never hate you, Y/n”
“Are you mad at me?
JJ was quiet for a moment, “no. Never.”
You giggled, “you know what I realized, his name is Jayden, and your name is JJ. Isn’t that funny?” you laughed. “What’s even funnier is how you both have the same basic features. His hair is almost blond and he has blue eyes too” 
JJ tilted his head to the side slightly after hearing the news. He thinks he knows who you’re talking about, mainly because he thinks he’s seen him at the wreck with some girl.
“But don’t worry JJ. You’re my favorite blue-eyed person. I can’t say blond because of Sarah. But you’re my favorite guy with blond hair”
JJ smiled, “thanks Y/n. You’re my favorite too” 
He pulls up to the chateau, once he puts the car in park and grabs the keys, he’s already going straight to the back. He scootches you closer to him so he could pick you up instead of making you walk, and he does.
You grab on around JJ’s neck as he carries you bridal style into the chateau and into the room he usually sleeps in. JJ places you on the bed and takes out a pair of sweatpants for you to wear. 
“I know you’re wearing a dress. Put these on, I’ll be right outside the door, and tell me when I could come in” JJ said, leaving you with the sweatpants. When he’s out he hears some groans and mumbles, but nothing too serious. He grabs a bucket and fills it with a little bit of water, a rag, and makeup wipes that Sarah had left, waiting at the door for you.
You open the door to let him back in and when JJ looks at you, you’re not only in his sweatpants but in his shirt, when he wants in he sees the discarded dress on the floor. “This is for you, you could take it off in the bathroom,” JJ said, handing you the makeup wipes.
You look at him in awe. Like he just hung the moon and the stars. And maybe in your drunken state, he did. You take the wipes and went to the bathroom closing the door behind you. JJ places the bucket close to the bed just in case you have an accident in the middle of the night and he isn’t there.
He takes his extra time to change into the same attire as you, a shirt with sweatpants. Usually, he wouldn’t have a shirt but, out of being a gentleman, he will tonight.
You walk out of the bathroom and hand him back the wipes, climbing into bed. JJ puts them away and goes back to you, crouching down so you could be at your level. “I’m gonna sleep on the sofa bed, when Kie gets here she can sleep in here with you. If you need anything just wake me up. I left a bucket f-” JJ was cut off.
But he wasn’t cut off by your words, or by the pogues coming home. He was cut off by a kiss, a kiss you gave him. It was unlike you. JJ was stunned for a moment, but his body moved as in instinct. Your lips were soft and warm. He can taste the alcohol from your lips. If it was any other situation, he would’ve deepened the kiss, grabbing your face. Pulling you closer so your bodies could collide with each other. He would’ve shown you how long he had been waiting and hungry for it but he didn’t think he deserved it. 
But he pulls away from you. When he does, he rests his forehead against yours, and you’re pouting at him. Disappointed in him. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask, sounding like you were about to cry.
“No, baby. No No. I just-” he was thinking of the right words to say. “You’re drunk, Y/n. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret or forget about in the morning”
“But I won’t regret or forget about it J.” You tell him. 
JJ doesn’t know how to respond to that. The only thing he knows how to do is to kiss your cheek to keep you satisfied, which it does. He stands up straight.
“If I were sober, would you have kissed me back?” you giggled. You knew the answer, you just wanted him to say it. JJ rolled his eyes playfully, walking to the door. “Wait where are you going?” you sat up from the bed. 
“I told you I’ll sleep on the couch” 
“Stay here”
JJ looks between you and the door. “Y/n, I don’t think I-”
“Please.”
You flashed your puppy eyes at him, your first time doing it to him. He never understood how you were able to get whatever with it. But now he does. 
He sighs and slowly walks to the bed, slipping under the covers next to you. He feels the heat you’ve gained from under the blanket, he also feels you relax. Once he’s laying down, you wrap your arms around him, leaving a hand on top of his chest. JJ relaxes and puts an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close. His closes for a second, but once you move your hand on top of his chest slightly, he opens them again.
He notices the black and blue mark around your wrist, “Y/n” he whispers. You hum in response, too tired to answer anything anymore. “Who did that to your wrist?”
Your breathing pauses for a beat or two but continues soon after. “Jayden,” you said quietly. “And why did he do that?” he continues to speak in whispers, but you hum back at him. “You can tell me, baby. Why did he make a bruise on your wrist?” he asked, closing his eyes and leaning his head against yours.
You breathed in and out, “He and his friends were saying things about me. Calling me a slut, commenting on my dress, and who I was with. Telling me how easy I was, just saying mean things to me. When I tried to he wouldn’t let go after I told him to. He just kept talking and I think he was about to kiss me. But once I slapped him he let go though. And I left after that J.” 
“And then you got drunk afterward?”
You hum, JJ is quiet. “Are you mad at me?”
JJ shakes his head lightly, “no. Never.”
 ─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
JJ had woken up twice. 
The first time was very early in the morning, and you were still in each other’s arms. You holding onto him especially tight. He had opened his eyes and once he saw you, he went back to sleep.
And again in the afternoon. The chateau was quiet, he knew everyone was sleeping. He noticed that the warm body that was next to him was no longer next to him. He wouldn’t be lying if he said he wasn’t upset you were no longer next to him. But he reminds himself you couldn’t have gone far, you didn’t have a car and you’re most definitely hungover.
JJ got up from the bed, rubbed his eyes, and made his way out of the familiar room, his dress still on the floor as he passed by it. He walks out of the room quietly and slowly, Pope sleeping in a small chair and Kie sleeping on the couch. He looks out the door and sees a familiar someone, the person he wanted to see when he woke up. 
When he walked out of the house you were sitting on the edge of the dock, the hms pogue boat on your right. You hadn’t noticed a new person was there with you until the wood you were sitting on started to make noise, it didn’t take a genius to know it was him. 
He stood standing as you were still sitting in his sweatpants and shirt. It was silent for a minute, a silence that made you both want to rip off your skin. But you didn’t. Because he broke the silence.
“Hey”
That’s all he said, after everything, last night all he had to say was hey. 
“Hi,” you said quietly.
“How are you holding up?”
“Other than a major migraine and a bucket full of embarrassment. I’m peachy”
JJ smiled a bit, he’s happy you were able to see it though. “Do you remember anything that happened last night? You got drunk pretty quickly”
“Yeah I remember” JJ stood quiet for a minute. He wanted to make you remember everything that happened last night. From when you first started drinking to when you asked him to stay in bed with you. 
“Everything?” He asked quietly.
You knew what he was talking about. The kiss.
You looked back at him and looked up to look at hin the eyes, “everything.”
JJ breathes in and out quietly, you turn back to the water. “Do you remember how excited everyone was to see you?” You smiled at the reminder. The smiles on their faces. You nodded in response. “They really missed you. I’m sure you already know that, they most likely told you. Does this mean you’re staying?”
You sighed. You didn’t know what you were gonna do. You planned on staying last night, but now with this thing with JJ. The boundaries you crossed. You don’t think you’ll ever be his friend after this, you’ll always feel that feeling of something more, little did you know so would he.
“I don’t know” you answered truthfully. 
JJ stood up straighter, he was confused. You were having so much fun last night, it looked so natural to you. The thought of you not coming back and his friends being upset again crushed him.
“What do you mean? I thought you were gonna back up”
“Things have changed JJ, especially now. I don’t think I can put myself through it, not again”
“Y/n, our fighting isn’t going to happen again. They need you around. You don’t understand what it was like when you were gone.”
You scoffed at that. You didn’t understand what you were going through. He doesn’t understand what you went through.
“I went through the same thing as they did, if not worse.”
“You aren’t seriously comparing the two are you?”
You stood up from the edge of the dock, you turned to face him. “I am because you don’t get to tell me what they felt when I had to deal with the guilt of leaving.”
“And you’re willing to feel that guilt again?” You scoffed at his words, beginning to walk past him. “I can’t tell you what to do but I can encourage you to stay. They want you around Y/n, they need you around” he went on to say, you continued to walk away.
“I need you around”
You stopped. You felt so many emotions. There was a part of you that wanted to run back to him and smother him with kisses. The other half of you wanted to yell and scream in his face for how he treated you.
So you listened to that other half.
You turned around quickly and looked like you were on a mission. “That’s real funny of you JJ because three months ago you wanted nothing to do with me. Now you say you need. Do you need me to be around you? If you need someone around you don’t treat them like shit and that’s exactly what you did to me.” 
“Y/n, listen-”
“No, you listen!” you yelled, not caring if the pogues woke up and see you yelling at him. “I was nothing but nice to you and you treated me like I was trash. Like I wasn’t there like I didn’t exist. Like I didn’t matter. But now. Now! I matter. After I kiss you when I’m drunk, I matter!” 
JJ was silent. You had every right to yell at him, he did this. He made you like this. He understands how the switch-up confuses you. He knows he deserves every second of this, this is something he’s willing to take. So he just lets it happen.
“You remember when I asked you why you hated me? Do you? And you always told me that it was because I was a kook. What about now? Does it still matter I’m still a kook? Or does it just go away?! Tell me JJ. Does it just go away?!” you push his chest. 
“I had to leave my friends because of you! I got into a relationship to forget the feeling! To forget the thought that I abandoned them! And you did that! You made me abandon my friends! It’s not fair how you made me leave them and now you’re telling me they want me back. That you need me back!” You look up at him and all you see are his sad blue eyes.
You push his chest again, and again, and again, and again. There were tears quickly coming down your face, and you were yelling at him. Telling him how it wasn’t fair. Telling him he’s a dickhead. Telling him how you hate how he makes you feel. Telling him how you feel right now.
JJ wrapped his arms around you as you tried to keep pushing. Stopping once he was too close so you just sobbed into him, wrapping your arms around him too. JJ kept kissing the top of your head, trying to soothe you and call you down. He just wanted to be with you.
You hated him right now. Sometimes people say things out of anger. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. But not you. You meant every word. And you wanted to make sure he knew you meant it, and he did know. 
You did feel like it was unfair. You knew he was a dickhead. You felt angry. And you did hate how he makes you feel. You want to fully hate him. But you can’t, even if you try to convince yourself, you can’t. 
Once you calmed down, JJ pulled away slightly, but you held him closer. You didn’t want to let him go you didn’t want to go back to how you were before. You didn’t want to go back to reality. You wanted to stay here, clinging onto him, and not thinking about anything else.
But once JJ tried to slip away again, you knew it wasn’t possible. 
He looked at you, but you weren’t looking back at him, staring at the floor. JJ lifted your chin to look at him. Once you did he wiggled his other hand to wrap it around your hand. He held your hand so gently, but he still had a good grip on you. 
“I’m so sorry for everything. For the way, I treated you over the years, for the words I’ve said to you. I’m sorry for what I said on the boat. I’m sorry for making you leave us. I’m sorry for not being there for you when I should’ve been. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t there like you didn’t exist like you didn’t matter. Because you do matter. You matter to me. You always have” 
There were tears still streaming down your face, but now JJ was matching you. He didn’t realize he was crying until the droplet was hanging from his face. 
“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean JJ,” you said quietly.
“But I do mean them. I mean all of them.” 
“JJ-” 
He kisses you. His hand is on the side of your side to keep you close. He was gentle with you, but you felt the hunger from his lips. You felt the longing and felt how bad he wanted this, needed this even. It wasn’t sloppy like last night, it wasn’t a chance he took. It was passionate. It was hard. It was perfect.
He was so warm. He smelled like leftover cologne and wood. JJ’s eyes were closed. His nose was brushing against your’s but you didn’t mind it. His lips feel smooth and it was obvious JJ was a good kisser. He wasn’t rough with you, he wanted you to feel it this time. 
For the first second and a half, you stopped breathing. But you eventually kissed him back, closing your eyes with him. Your hands were on his face and his neck and once he felt you kiss back the hand that once held yours was holding your waist, pulling you close. 
His mind fogged up with just you. Only you. Nothing and no one else, just you. All those hookups meant nothing because right now you’re with him. All those years of yearning for you finally came true.
Your mind fogged up with just him. You’ve always liked JJ, maybe you even loved him. But all the memories from before came rushing back. All of them. 
You pulled back, JJ following you. But then he couldn’t follow you anymore. You both were breathing heavily. Again, his forehead leaning against yours. 
“J,” you said, your voice breathy.
JJ doesn’t respond, waiting for you to finish.
“I have to go,” you say.
His heart dropped. He knew what you meant. He knew what you were trying to stay. He doesn’t want you to go, he doesn’t want you to leave him. 
“No… Stay”
“I have to go, J” stepping away from him, looking into his eyes.
“You asked me last night if you were sober and if I would’ve kissed you back. And I would have. I would’ve kissed you at the kegger. I would’ve kissed you on the boat. I would’ve kissed you at the chateau. I would’ve kissed you when I first met you. Please don’t go”
“I can’t J.” your hands leave him.
“Let me take you home at least, please Y/n.” he pleaded with you.
You shook your head at him. “I can’t let you do that J,” you said
“Why not?”
“Cause then I’ll stay here,” you said softly.
JJ just sighed, looking up at the sky for a second, his eyes getting watery again. He then looked at the ground to avoid eye contact with him.
“I’m taking Sarah’s keys. When she wakes up if you could tell her”
JJ never responded, just silently crying, looking at the ground. You walked towards him and grabbed ahold of his wrist and shoulder to keep your balance. JJ saw the bruise around your wrist again. And you kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you around JJ” you whispered.
You then walked back into the chateau, you were crying too now. You just kept wiping your tears when you walked inside the chateau. You grabbed the car keys and quickly walked out, looking at JJ one last time.
He was crouched down, his arms folded and his head on them. He would move slightly. He was sobbing.
You looked away and got into Sarah’s car, starting it and driving away from him. 
Much to JJ’s unlucky life, the pogues had seen and watched the scene. When you walked in Kie and Pope pretended to still be asleep but you didn’t even glance at them. JJ was out on the dock for an hour before he wiped his tears and went back inside the chateau. When he walked in, the pogues all looked at him. 
He didn’t want to deal with them and their questions right now so he just went back to the room you slept in and locked the door behind him. He went into bed, your scent still engraved in the sheets even when you weren’t there for long. When he sat up from the bed, he saw your dress in the corner of the room.
JJ closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. Wanting nothing more than to just have you with him again.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
Now and again you would go back to the chateau but only went JJ wasn’t around. Usually, he was working and Sarah would promise you he wouldn’t be there for a while. You would go in your car and just hang out with them like you used to. You even had a chance to surf with them. 
But when he came back, before he could even see you, you would quickly say your goodbyes and leave in your car. That’s the only reason why you would bring your car, it was so you could make a quick exit. 
Fortunately for you, the pogues never pestered you with questions. They never asked why you were avoiding JJ. It seemed like they were just happy to have you around. But you felt the absence when you were there. There was a missing piece.
Unfortunately for JJ, they always asked him questions. Every time they saw him they asked him why you were avoiding him. He would simply say, “you guys saw what happened. I don’t know” and then go to the room he stood in.
They wanted you both back together but the boat idea was out of the question, and that ruined everything for everyone. So they didn’t know what they were going to do now.
Today JJ was with the pogues at the wreck, helping Kie do her job. John B’s keys with her mom and Sarah’s phone with her dad so they couldn’t get distracted. But now they were just taking a break, all of them outside of the wreck. Talking about nonsense.
A car full of people pulled up to the parking lot. They were extremely loud, the pogues glancing at them a few times but continuing their conversation. Three girls and three girls get out of the car.
“They look familiar” Sarah mumbled, the pogues then looking at them as they walked to the entrance.
A guy got out of the passenger seat, “make sure it comes quick!” he said, leaning against the car. 
“Oh my god,” Sarah said, “What?” Pope asked confused.
The guy’s friends laughed and walked into the wreck, the guy now scrolling on his phone.
“That’s Jayden,” Sarah said. JJ looked at the guy, with light brown hair, and blue eyes. It was him.
“Whose Jayden?” John B asked, getting overprotective. 
“Y/n’s ex. The guy that cheated on her over the summer. She showed me pictures of him and his friends one time.” 
“Is he? JJ and I have seen him with some girl, it was the girl with the dark hair” Kie said.
“That’s Diana! Oh my god, don’t look at him. I don’t know if Y/n showed me what I look like. Act like we’re having a conversation” Sarah said, looking away, Jayden not even noticing the pogues.
“We were having a conversation,” Pope said plainly.
“You know what I mean!” Sarah whisper yelled. 
The conversation they were just having again picked up, but JJ didn’t engage in it this time. He just kept staring at him. He never left his sight. The bruise on your wrist flashed in his eyes. The memories of what you said he and his friends were saying to you popped up in his mind. JJ just saw red. 
He stood up, the pogues not noticing at first. 
“You’re Jayden, right?” JJ asked, walking to him.
Jayden looked up and looked JJ up and down. He looked confused. The pogues looked up once they heard JJ’s voice.
“Yeah, why?” Jayden responded.
Not even a second later JJ punched him in the face, Jayden getting low to the ground.
“JJ!” Kie yelled, the rest of the pogues getting up to stop him.
But JJ never stopped, he just kept punching him, and punching him, and punching him. He couldn’t stop. He just kept thinking of the bruise, and your face when you told when what they said. He kept thinking of you.
Eventually, the pogues finally pulled JJ off, “What the fuck man?” Jayden yelled, blood leaking out of his nose.
“Why don’t you give me a bruise huh?! Give me one!” JJ yelled out. 
John B and Pope were trying to calm JJ down, holding him back away from Jayden. The both of them yelled at each other, Sarah trying to calm down Jayden from the other side of the parking lot.
Because of the amount of noise outside, people started to notice, includg Jayden’s friends who walked out.
“Diana, call the cops,” one of them said, the dark-haired girl nodding.
“No, don’t call the cops!” Kie said, the girl just looking at Kie like she was crazy.
“You think you can just cheat on her and not face the consequences?!” JJ yelled
“Holy shit, you’re with Y/n?” Jayden laughed. 
“That slut?” one of the girls laughed.
“What did you just say?” Sarah asked, walking to the girl that said it. 
“Sarah, don’t.” John B warned.
“I should’ve known she had a thing for dirt. I’m not surprised, she’s dirty herself” Jayden continued to laugh. 
“Say that again!” JJ yelled. 
JJ was itching to go back at him again, and he knew that if he kept talking about you. It wouldn’t end well.
“I called her slut, is there a problem?” the girl said.
“Yeah, it is a fucking problem. That’s my fucking best friend” Sarah got in the girl’s personal space. 
There was so much yelling going on, the boys were yelling at each other, Sarah and this random girl were coming up, and Diana was on the phone as Kie was arguing with another girl who wanted Diana to call the police.
“She’s all used up now and you still want that bitch? I could only imagine how slutty she is now” Jayden said.
That was JJ’s limit. 
JJ pushed John B and Pope off of him and went straight to Jayden, yet again punching him.
Jayden’s friends ran towards JJ and John B and Pope went to get them off of JJ. The boys have their brawl of three going against four.
Sarah took this as an opportunity to hit the girl in the face. Another girl came up from behind her but Kie went after her, that being the only fair fight of two going against two. Diana was already on the phone with the police. 
Multiple people from the restaurant ran outside to record the brawls instead of trying to stop them. The pogues seemed to be winning, JJ even holding his own when Jayden and one of his friends tried going after him together.
Not long after, the cops had shown up, separating everyone from everyone. Now it was a yelling match between the pogues and some random people on the island. The randoms had visibly more injuries than the pogues did. The only injured ones were Sarah and Kie who only had a scratch. The randoms had blood coming out of their noses, their cheeks were cut, and their lips were cut. And JJ knew he broke Jayden’s nose. They looked like they went through a brawl. While the pogues looked like they got a little dirty.
“Talk shit about my girl again and see what happens!” JJ yelled
“How you tried to fight her when she was already beating your friend’s ass?!” Kie yelled at the girl
“What did you think was gonna happen when you put your hands on him?!” John B yelled.
“Get the fuck off the island!” Sarah yelled.
“Don’t say shit you don’t mean” Pope yelled.
“Your girl? Or the island’s?!” Jayden yelled.
“You should’ve told your friend to back off man!” one of the guys yelled.
“She beat my ass?! Please” A girl yelled.
Everyone was being held back, the officer who had JJ having to work harder than the rest of them. JJ just kept pulling and pulling. He was ready to pounce on his prey and beat him again. Eventually, everyone was in handcuffs. The random guys with each other in one car, the two random girls in another with another random boy. Pope, JJ, and John B in one car, Sarah and Kie in another.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
You were watching tv as you were eating your cereal. Sarah or Kie texted you that they be free and JJ was with them so you decided to keep yourself busy. You had just cleaned your room and bathroom, so you just needed a little break before you could do anything else.
Your phone started to ring next to you, and when you looked at the screen it was a random number. You usually don’t answer random numbers you don’t know, but something in you told you to answer this one, so you did.
“Hello?”
“Y/n! Thank god you answered. I need a small favor from you.”
“Sarah? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 
“No actually. Uhm.” Sarah stopped for a second, she sounded like she was speaking to multiple people but went back to you. “We got arrested” 
You almost dropped your cereal, pausing your movie. You got up from the couch and walked to your kitchen. “We? Whose we? Who got arrested? How did you get arrested? Why did you get arr-” 
“John B, Pope, Kie, JJ. We were at the wreck and- I’ll tell you everything. But we just need you to bail us out. Please. I didn’t want to call my dad and he-” 
“Of course, I’m on my way,” you say, putting a hoodie over your shirt but keeping your shorts on.
“You’re a lifesaver, I owe you one,” Sarah said, the stress coming off of her shoulders.
“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be there as quick as I can, alright?” You say putting on your shoes.
“We’ll be waiting,” Sarah said before hanging up.
You drove as quickly as you could to the Wreck. Grabbing something in your car before, getting out, and seeing Kie’s mom immediately. “Hi, uhm. I don’t know if you heard about Kie yet or not. But if you did don’t worry about it, I’m getting everything solved right now. But did they leave anything behind?” you ask her.
Kie’s mom nodded and made you follow her to the back, “This is Sarah’s phone and John B’s keys. I don’t how you get it done, just get them home. Safely” she responded, you nodded and quickly walked out.
You got in the twinkie instead, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of the pogues in your car. You drove to the Sheriff’s department quickly, once you parked, and quickly walked in and went straight to Shoupe’s office.
The receptionist tried calling you to stop you but you didn’t care, when you walked into his office and the receptionist tried to stop you, Sheriff Shoupe stopped her.
“That’s alright, She can stay,” he said, putting his hand up to defend you. She huffed and walked back to where she usually sat. “What can I do for you today, pum-”
“I know you have my friends. I want them back” You say in a stern voice.
Shoupe sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You want your friends back” he repeats, more so for himself than for you. “Do you even know what they did? They got into a brawl with people from the mainland. This isn’t some stupid prank, JJ broke a boy’s nose”
You closed your eyes and breathed in and out. You knew the people from the mainland were Jayden and his friends. And you knew the boy JJ broke his nose was Jayden.
“And where are the people from the mainland now? Running free while my friends are-”
“They’re here with them if you would like to see them,” he said.
You ran a hand through your hair, you didn’t want to see them. Shoupe knew you were starting to get stressed.
“Y/n, does your mom know you’re here right now?”
You laughed at that, he was trying to scare you with your mom. She would be upset you were there, and she would be even more upset that you went to bail your friends out. But you didn’t care about that, not right now anyway. 
“Can’t I just bail my friends out? Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be”
“There’s a lot of paperwork that involves an adult. I’m sure you know that by now with JJ. I don’t think you would want to deal with that again. So Miss Y/l/n. You may leave my office right now” Shoupe said going back to his computer. 
You threw an orange envelope on his desk. Shoupe stopped what he was doing and looked at it. “What is this?” he asked
“Ten thousand dollars. Three thousand three hundred for my friends. Four thousand seventy for the mainlands. The rest of the two thousand, seven hundred, and forty dollars goes to you and the money you can use to make sure this incident isn’t on their records. On my friend’s records.”
“Are you bribing me, Miss Y/l/n?”
“I’m helping my friends. Ten thousand is my only and final number” You warned him. 
Shoupe was in thought, he was thinking about the choices he had here. He then spoke into one of those police speakers, “let the kids out. All of them” he said, you smiled and walked out of his office. 
None of the pogues went through the system and all of this was being kept off of their record, they were safe another day. Sarah was the first to walk out, running and hugging you when she saw you.
“You’re the best” she whispered in your ear. 
“Yeah I know” you laughed. 
Kie walked out after, also hugging you. “Oh my god, I love you and your money,” she said, you laugh at her, “I love you too I guess’ you say with a smile on your face.
The three of you walk outside, Sarah explaining what happened, Kie adding to her story. The three of you leaned against the twinkie so the rest of the pogues could see you guys. And they did, all three of them coming out at the same time.
“I knew you would come in handy,” John B said, 
“Yeah yeah, get in the passenger. I’m driving” you respond.
John B nods and the rest of the pogues get in the back, talking over each other trying to tell you the story. Everyone except JJ was quiet. Too quiet. He would glance at you but nothing more.
You were about to walk into the driver’s side but saw Jayden and his friends walking out. “Stay here” you mumbled. 
Everyone but JJ was calling you back as you started to walk to Jayden. Once you were finally in his view he scoffed.
“You got your friends to gang up on us?” Alana asked.
“No, I didn’t. But from what heard, it was a fair fight. If anything you guys had the upper hand, there was more of you” you respond.
“It doesn’t matter, what does matter is the lawsuit they’re gonna be bombarded with,” Jayden said, warning you.
“That’s what I came here for. You won’t be pressing charges” 
“And why’s that?” Jayden asked, amused.
“Who do you think paid for your bond? I do something for you, you do something for me, and don’t press charges” You explain.
The rest of his friends stood quiet. “Your boyfriend broke my nose” Jayden argued with you.
“And you deserved it, if not more.” You got close in his personal space, “you aren’t going to press charges. None of you are. But if one day I find out you are. You’re gonna fucking wish you never saw me at the Wreck the first time” you say, walking from them and back to the twinkie.
You got in and started to drive to the chateau, the drive there is silent. Too silent. You don’t know how you’ll get your car back from the wreck but, you’ll get it eventually. When you arrive at the chateau and when John B opens the back door, JJ is the first to run out, saying he needs a shower.
 The rest of the pogues followed him inside, Pope sitting on the couch, Sarah and John B whispering things to each other, and Kie pacing back and forth. You were still here though, but your mind was just on him. Why did he fight Jayden? Why did he start it?
You needed to clear your mind, you knew the ten thousand dollars in your car would come in handy, but you didn’t expect to finish it in one go. Now you’ll just keep a small amount. “I’m going to the beach,” you say before leaving the chateau. 
The beach wasn’t far from John B’s house, so you just walked there. So when you did get there, you saw down and looked at the water.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。・ ───
JJ got out of the shower and he needed to talk to you. But when he walked out he didn’t see you. At all. He only saw Pope, Kie was on the phone with her parents, and John B and Sarah were on the hammock. 
“Where’s Y/n?” JJ asked. 
“She said she was going to the beach. I’m guessing she isn’t lying ‘cause she didn’t take the twinkie” Pope said. 
You were at the beach. JJ thought for a moment he shouldn’t go there. He thought you needed your space, your peace. But that went out the window when he thought about it longer. He threw the towel into the room he stays in and walked to the beach. 
He got there quicker than you did because he was running. But he saw your silhouette, he breathed in and out and sat next to you. Looking at the water with you.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” you ask.
JJ just nods. The silence killing the both of you inside.
“JJ”
He hums.
“Why’d you break Jayden’s nose?” you ask, looking at him. JJ hung his head low after that sentence. There were so many things he wanted to say. But he couldn’t.
“Sarah said he was Jayden, and I thought about your bruise. And remember the words he told you. I just had a switch inside me. And once I hit him, I knew there was no going back.”
You sigh, “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me JJ. I can handle them by myself”
“I know that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He apologizes, finally looking you in the eyes. 
The two of you were quiet, just looking at each other. He never explained why he was so rough to you. He needs you to know why.
“Y/n”
You hum.
“The reason why I treated you like shit was that I liked you. A lot. Too much even” JJ confesses. Of course, it was for a stupid reason, you thought.
“I don’t want this to sound like, ‘when a boy is mean to you, it’s because they like it’ but-” He pauses. “You know my mom walked out on me pretty young. You know I’ve known Big John and John B for like, ever. So when Big John disappeared, I felt like he walked out on him.”
You don’t say a word, letting him have his moment.
“And I had these girlfriends that either cheated on me or randomly left. So I started to just, hook up with people. I was okay with them being meaningless. And then you came along and- you changed everything for me. You weren’t like the rest of the kooks. You were nice and sweet. You were smart and beautiful. You have a future. And you still have those things in you but. I didn’t. I don’t even think I still do.” 
A tear comes down his face and when you go to wipe it away, he stops you, nodding slowly. 
“I knew I liked you, John B knew, Pope knew, Kie knew. Maybe even Sarah knew. But I also knew that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. So when you first started being nice to me, I thought if I would push you away hard enough, you would realize how bad I am. It didn’t work in the first year. But then I saw this switch in you, and I knew it did from that moment.”
He breathes in and out.
“I know I pushed you too far. I’m truly sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for it. And I’m not excusing my behavior. I just wanted you to have the information before I go further with this”
He pauses for a moment, thinking of what he should say next. One thing about JJ is that he gets into his head too much, and this was one of those moments.
“Just say what you feel, J” you reassure him. JJ looks at you and nods.
“I really like you, Y/n. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous and you make me want to just, keep you safe from the world when i know you can take care of yourself. You make me feel like I have a future in store. Maybe this is love, I don’t know. But if this is love, I don’t want to feel this way with anyone else but you” he confessed. 
You look at him, his eyes so soft.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I am willing to try this if you are too. I want to be around you all the time. I want to hug you and kiss you every time I see you. I to be able to call you to mind. I want to show you off to the world. I want you, Y/n.” 
The silence is back again, and it bothers JJ more than anything. He can’t read your mind. With the way you’re looking at him, this could mean you’ll give him a chance, or that you’ll reject him.
You nod at him, “I want you too, JJ.” you whisper.
JJ’s eyes changed, from being so fearful to being hopeful.
“You want me too?” he asks
You nod, a smile on your face. 
“You want me too?” JJ repeats, a wide and goody smile on his lips.
You laugh at him, “yeah” 
JJ laughs a bit and grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss. For a hard, hungry, meaningful kiss. He smiles into it and you smile back.
When his lips leave yours, he starts to smother you with kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle and laugh loudly.
“I can’t wait to show everyone that you’re mine and mine only,” JJ says more to himself. You giggle at him, “hold your horses. I want a date first” you say
“A date?” 
You nod, “okay, where?” he asks, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. 
“Anywhere, you could take me to McDonald’s. I just want that me and you, where one doesn’t end up leaving the other. And we don’t argue”
JJ laughs and nods his head. “Deal”
You smile at him, he’s listening to you with no further statements or anything to come back with. You give him a peck on the lips and then lean your head on his shoulder. Watching the waves with him as he leans his head against yours. “I could get used to this” he whispers, kissing the top of your head before leaning again.
You smiled, not saying another word to him. This was the silence you loved, the comfortable silence. Now, this was something you could get used to.
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again I'm sorry this is so late and so long :(
588 notes · View notes
presleyanswrites · 9 months
Text
The Drawer
pairing(s): jj maybank x pouge!reader
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i think this is an imagine/blurb
requests are open 🫶🏼
enjoy 🤍
------------------------------------------------------- authors note you were searching around in the chateau for the keys to the twinkie, but you happen to stumble upon a drawer of love letters towards one girl in particular.
word count: 566 (sorry its short!)
warnings: fluff, language, grammar
-------------------------------------------------------
"okay john b, geez, im coming!" you shuffle around the chateau looking in every cabinet and drawer. "where the hell did pope put the keys?"
you sigh and toss beer bottles out of your way trying to look for where these dumbass boys keep their things at, because you, john b, and kie were all supposed to be going surfing for the day.
"are you sure its in here?" you ask
"positive." john b folds his arms to the back of his head.
you look endlessly around, but you cant find the keys. so, after you made your rounds through the entire place, you decide to check the last room you were sure it wouldn't be in, but you had no other option. you creaked open the door to big john's office, thank god it was unlocked.
You take a step in and begin searching through the drawers and lifting maps and papers.
you place your hand on another drawer and pull it open its cool handle to find a bunch of little pieces of very recklessly folded paper.
"probably more ripped maps or something", you say to yourself.
you rustle through the paper and unfold it, to find a letter written in sloppy handwriting, that adresses your name.
you furrow and cock your head in confusion trying to read what its saying.
then your heart skips a beat.
it was a love letter, from jj.
multiple, actually.
you kept reading through it and it made your eyes water from all of the sweet things he said in the little peices of paper.
it made you warm and fuzzy but almost excited and and full of butterflies at the same time.
he had written letters to you for when you are sad, one for when you are happy, and in that one particularly, he wouldn't stop talking about your smile, and how it lit up.
you softly smile and press your pointer finger to your lips and laugh.
after you read some of them, you wiped a tear away from your eyes, chuckled, and left the room to find the keys in john b's couch the entire time. you roll your eyes, someone must have sat on them.
that night, you and the pogues were all sitting by the fire, per usual, sipping beers and laughing.
sarah said something that made you laugh, and jj glanced at you and smiled, and then looked down at his boots.
you notice jj looking, and you turn your attention to the blonde boy.
"what is it, j?" you ask
"your smile."
"how it lights up my whole face? i know, you never shut up about it in that note."
his mouth slightly opens in shock and he begins to blush
"how did you-"
"just, shut up."
you smile and lean over to press your lips to his. it was a passionate, and free kiss. he kisses you back with an equal amount of love.
you pull away and gaze up at his eyes while the flames of the fire radiate on both of you.
butterflies swarmed in your stomach and up your throat, making you giggle like a little girl, as he tucked a piece of hair that fell from your face back behind your ear.
laughter from your friends echoed. It felt like you were the only girl in the world at that moment.
"i have my ways."
239 notes · View notes
mysticficti0n · 3 months
Note
so
Tom and Y/n HATE each other (well she hates him but he gets little butterflies from her sometimes heheheh but like he still doesn't like her) but she still is around a lot of the time bc she's Georgs cuz and she lives with his family (come up with something bc idk) and she helps produce TH music and is like their photographer kinda?
and in the first part she's like getting ready for a date and stuff happens and tom takes her for some reason yeah and he gets rlly pissed at her but then she wants to get picked up from this guys house and tom is the only one who picks up so yeah- enjoy writing this if you do ❤️
Oh em ghee- kinda jelly I didn't come up with this but I love it so so much
Happy new year everyone! I really like this idea and making it a new series bc why not, and don't worry All my attention is coming back this 2024!!! I havent preread this before posting because im tired as shit its literally 3:07 am so ♥︎
Get over it Part One
∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞  ∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞ 
warnings- swearing, mentions of sex, clubbing, kissing
words- 1.6k
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I sat in my mirror with music blasting in the background, Bill sat on my bed flicking through a magazine with a cig hanging from his mouth "Is a red lip too much?" I asked turning to the boy who looked up from the pages
"depends what you're wearing" I got up and grabbed my little blood red dress, black lace dressing the bottom and the u-neck shape at the top "red lips all the way" I smiled sitting back down and grabbing my red lipstick and swiping it on
"Knock Knock" a voice called outside and then three people wondered In "what the fuck are you doing" Gustav laughed shoving me
"whats it to you" he shrugged sitting himself down along side Tom, Tom never looked happy unless he had some whore sucking his cock or a smoke in his hand, I stood grabbing my dress and walked out into the bathroom, I left the door open slightly as I knew they'd be asking questions
"where she going Bill?"-"not my place to say"-"oh come on"-"nope"-"well she looks like she's going to be payed to fuck a guy"-"watch your mouth thats my cousin remember" I smirked listening to their conversation, I finally got the dress on and twirled in the mirror but realised I couldn't do the button at the back, so reluctantly I held the dress up around my side and went back to my room
"can one of you do the button please" I turned my back to the group and soon I herd the sound of shuffling and someone standing behind me
"is it just this one?" the voice of Tom rang behind me and I nodded, why him out of everyone out the room? gently his fingers brushed against my skin as he pushed the button through the loop "done" he said barely above a whisper
"thanks" I spoke walking to grab my heals, I quickly slipped my feet in and stood to look back at the guys "right well I have a date to go to but I need someone to take me- who's that gonna be?" I looked to Georg first
"erm.. well I don't have my car- Tom is the only one with one" a sigh escaped my lips but it was him or nothing and I missed my date
"fine- come then" I grabbed my bag and looked to Tom
"now?" he spoke
"yes now get up were going" The boys all stood leaving my room Bill switched off my stereo then we all went down stairs and I headed for the front door closely followed by Tom "bye guys" I yelled before walking out, Toms car clicked and unlocked
"you know-" before he could finish I closed the car door and buckled my belt, Toms side opened and he climbed in "you are such an ungrateful bitch" I laughed staring ahead "I could just not take you- get that in your fucking head"
"yet your still in the fucking car with me" he rolled his eyes staring the engine "drop me at Sarahs court" we sat in silence, no radio, no nothing until we hit a red light, I could see Tom's eyes scanning me up and down "issue?"
"your dress is very showy, do you even know the guy you're seeing?" I smiled knowing exactly who it was, and So would Tom
"thought you liked slutty things, like your girl-" he cut me off my throwing me a gaze "oh and I'm meeting Brandon, Brandon Quick" I watched as his jaw dropped slightly, eyes turning thin
"you are a fucking cunt" no words were shared after that, he stayed quiet, I knew I lit the fire now and all I could keep doing was adding to it
"Yeah he called me last night, told me he missed me and wanted to see me again, asked me to wear his favourite dress.... favourite lip, and no panties either" I kept pushing watching Toms face curl into one of pure anger, before I knew it we were at Sarahs court and he slammed on the breaks. I pulled the sun-visor down and opened the mirror checking my make up, I looked to Tom once more, his face was contorted into a frown, I didn't bother saying anything and just climbed out.
I walked around the car and saw the calming face of Brandon "hey sweetheart" he spoke coming over, hand wrapping around my waist, pressing a kiss to my cheek "who brought you?" he spoke looking behind me
"just Tom- he was the only fucking one with a car" I laughed turning to see that his car was still there with him just staring at me
"I'll come say hi" I grinned knowing this would only piss him of further, together me and Brandon walked over and I pulled open the driver door "hey man whats up?"
"mhm whats up" Tom spoke, his voice low
"eh nothing much, thanks for bring madam, promise to have her home by 9" he joked, looking down at me, I purposefully cuddled to his chest, drawing circles on his peck
"great- well I'll go now" Tom grabbed the door slamming it shut and started the engine
"whats wrong with him?" the boy spoke with a tone of sarcasm
"whats never wrong with him?" I laughed pulling Brandons head down to meet mine in a kiss, there was no denying it Brandon was hot, his brown messy locks, blue eyes, a smile that was contagious, perfectly toned body, tattoos covering his torso, he was beautiful
--- Time Skip ---
I lay there, on Brandons chest, tonight was amazing, dinner, the club and the sex but I couldn't fall asleep at all, my mind was everywhere and I just felt like going home, but the only way I could get home was Tom, I sat up and went to get my phone "hey everything okay?" Brandon's voice spoke quietly, his hand rubbing my back
"yeah sorry, I'm gonna go okay, I need to be up early tomorrow" I lied, I did feel bad but I felt bad saying the truth, I'd slept over many times but today... I just couldn't this time
"Okay babe- text me when your back" I nodded leaning down pressing a kiss to his lips softly, it took a lot to pull away but I did, I grabbed my dress, shoes and bag, pulling my phone out and going out side of the house, wrapping myself tighter in his jumper, I went through my contacts before seeing Toms and I clicked call, within seconds it was answered
"what?"
"can you come get me"
"why?"
"I cant sleep and I wanna come home and you're the only one with a car"
"Y/n its fucking 4 am"
"you answered straight away so don't tell me you weren't awake" I spat
"fine-" I gave him the address and he told me five minuets, I sat on the wall at the end of the house, staring onto the quiet street until the bright lights of Toms car cleared the darkness. I got up and opened the car door to find Tom still in the clothes he was wearing earlier and a cig in his lips
"thanks for getting me" he nodded blowing smoke away
"yeah- don't think I'll do this again alright" I nodded, I felt to tired to really answer, or argue his car was warm and I was quite warn out already "why are there tear stains down your face?" he spoke, his voice slightly concerned, I hadn't even noticed anything with my face, I'd been so concentrated on other things
"oh erm... it doesn't matter" I yawned closing my eyes, it wasn't like I was hurt or anything
"no why the fuck have you been crying" I sighed opening my eyes, looking to the boy
"me and Brandon fucked okay" Tom breathed looking back to the road "better now?" and he just nodded, I closed my eyes again and soon everything was quiet.
soon I felt cold wash on my body until two arms wrapped around me, I let myself hook my arms and legs around whatever had me, my head falling into the crook of their neck "hm- thank you"
◇─◇─Toms POV─◇─◇
I did stay up- is it because I cared- no... I was more worried something was going to happen, I knew Brandon, he was my old best friend all through school till he got with my girlfriend while we were on tour. He was known to hurt his dates, not physically but emotionally and seeing those streaks down her face just made something burn inside my chest. I kept driving until I made it back to her house, the Listing's house.
"okay Y/n-" I turned my head to see her asleep "fuck" I hit my head of the back of the seat, it was to late to call Georg to come get her, and her aunty and uncle couldn't know she was getting back at 4:15 in the morning.
I got out and walked to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her seat belt, slowly I pulled her out from the car and let her body wrap onto mine "hm- thank you" she whispered into my neck, her breath cool against my skin, I walked us toward the door, I went to her bag and pulled out the keys, I had no other choice, and let us in.
silently I began walking up the stairs, she was quietly snoring into my shoulder as I held her going to her room, I gently pushed open her door and set her on the bed, taking her belongings and put them on the desk "okay Y/n lie down" I whispered helping her lie back and pulling her sheets onto her
"my head hurts" she spoke again, without thinking my hand went to her head, I rubbed small circles and scrapped her hair back soothingly, a small smile appeared onto her lips before soft snores filled the room again. I took one last look before coming away, I went to her window, pulling it shut, closing her curtains and finally shutting her door. she wouldn't remember any of this... hopefully
Like I don't care about her but- she does mean something to me, but she couldn't know that
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cookstorys · 10 months
Note
hi I just found your blog and your the only one that I’ve seen that does outerbanks. If it’s not to much trouble could I request a rafe Cameron x sunshine male reader, were he wants to be a better person because the guy he’s crushing on never have up on him.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙼𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛
_____________
Character- Rafe Cameron
Show/Movie- Outer Bands
Warning- Rafe being crazy 😝☝🏾, haven’t watch outer banks in a while so I had to remember what I could 🕴🏾, sunshine reader showed a lil dark side at the end😰
Author Notes - Im genuinely so sorry for the long wait, you’ve been waiting so long and you’ve been so extremely patient, thank you! Part 2? 🤭
Females dni
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The time was 2:45 am. Granted the [hair color] haired boy should’ve been in bed enjoying his weekend but when he got a worrying text from his friend he awoke immediately. On your way to his location, you could only imagine what he had gotten into. For all you knew he could’ve killed someone. God, you hoped he didn’t kill anyone.
You slowly pulled up to a boat dock. Putting your car in park your heart almost immediately fell to your stomach. You’re the mayor’s son, alone in the dark, with nothing to protect yourself but a rusty pocket knife. ‘He’s your friend, and you love him’ you mumbled to yourself. After a few more minutes in your car, you nervously got out. Your footsteps were the only thing that could be heard as you hurriedly walked toward the docks.
If there wasn’t a light pole near the end of the dock you wouldn’t have been able to identify Rafe at the end of the dock staring down at his reflection. Slowly walked towards him, not wanting to scare him. Once you’ve beside him you spoke. “It’s pretty nice out huh?” His head snapped to look at you, obviously startled at your presence. “You came?” You chuckled at the dumb question. You gently shoulder-bumped him with a smirk. “What else are friends for.”
His stomach fluttered with butterflies. Friends. He could never quite get used to that word. He huffed out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Do you… do you think I’m a bad person?” Your eyes pulled away from the stars to observe his face. His eyes twinkled with sorrow, and his lips stayed still, as his jawline clenched and tightened. You concentrated your eyes back on the shining moon. “Everyone’s a bad person in some way. Yes, some out-way others. However, no one’s completely a good person. Not to mention what makes someone a bad person?” You could feel his confusing eyes land on your calm persona. “I’m lost.” He replied.
“Think of it like this. Someone who steals is considered a bad person correct? But what if they’re stealing to pay for their mother’s medical bills? Some might say stealing is stealing, he belongs in jail. Others might say he’s stealing for genuine reasoning so it’s ok.” Rafe chuckled at your tiny morale rant. “So, does that mean I’m a bad person?” Rafe asked and for the first time that night, you looked at each other. “You tell me, Rafe, are you?” His eyes purposefully pulled away from yours, clearly trying to not say something.
“I don’t know,” he cried. “I’ve been trying to be a good person to make you happy, but I can’t keep this up.” He burst into tears. You pulled him into one of your amazing hugs, his head rested on your shoulder as he continued to cry. “I almost drowned Sarah [name], my fucking sister. What the fuck is wrong with me.” He sobbed. You tried to keep your calm composure but the newly learned information took you aback but you refused to show it.
You pulled him away from your touch, taking his head between your hands. “You listen to me Rafe Cameron, you are not a bad person. Just someone who’s made mistakes. Now answer me this…is she dead?” You asked shaken up. “No, Topper stopped me before I could do anything more.” He answered finally calming down. “Good, Rafe where is Topper exactly?” Rafe had to think for a second but finally answered. “He should be at his vacation house until his dad’s back from business.” You smiled at this newly learned information, pulling Rafe back into a hug.
“Ok, remember Rafe I’m always here for you.”
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xorafe · 15 days
Note
im rewatching obx and i forgot how fucking tragic Rafe’s character actually is like its breaking my heart😭😭😭
100% 😭 once you realize rafe carries around a lot of pain and secretly hates himself… ouch… under the cut because this became an ESSAY exploring rafe’s trauma
ok i always think about how we haven’t learned what happened to his mom. rafe is the eldest sibling and the loss probably hit him worst of all because being older, he’d remember more. and why do i think he was a mama’s boy? his heart shattered when he lost her and never came back together. hate that my mind goes there but what if he witnessed her passing away and that’s why he’s so broken :(
and his dad is always expressing how disappointed he is in rafe and how much he clearly favors sarah... so detrimental to rafe’s self-worth and mental wellbeing. on top of that, he sees his dad do horrible things, which tells him it’s okay and acceptable. ffs his dad wakes him up in the middle of the night to help him dispose of a body… it’s because of shit like this that rafe is so desensitized to violence.
and when rose tells ward there’s something wrong with rafe and has been since he was ten? ward disregards this and it just shows how rafe’s constantly dealing with consequences of nobody caring about him enough :(
and when rafe tells his dad he’s scared because he has intrusive thoughts and he doesn’t think he can control them. he’s afraid of what might happen. a VERY blatant cry for help. one that could have helped him had it been listened to. but ward tells him to ‘man up’. tells that to his son who could have a severe mental illness. rafe is seen later on telling himself to ‘man up’ when ward turns violent on him, saying ‘i suck. man up’ :( he’s internalised the way ward treats him and it’s turned into a form of self loathing. i think that’s why he is so obsessed with acting like he’s above the pogues. he needs to lie to himself that he’s worth something, even if it’s just because he’s wealthy
rafe has a conscience. he shows remorse for the things he does. he knows deep down they’re wrong and that he’s struggling with thoughts he can’t control. HONESTLY with help, therapy, love, and at least someone in his corner, there is so much hope for rafe being a good, happy person :(
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 2 years
Text
Prom Date
Summary; Eddie finally realises his feelings for y/n when he finds out she's going to the prom with, Steve.
Warnings; Angst to fluff.
I do not give anyone permission to copy my work.
Reblogs, comments etc mean the world to me ❤
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"So prom is in a week". Y/n decided to sway the discussion away from D&D just for a second and also she was planning to ask her longtime crush Eddie to prom.
"More conforming bullshit". Eddie mutters as he nibbles on his lunch and her heart sinks.
"You don't think it would be fun to go?". She asks trying to stay hopeful but he shakes his head.
"Wouldn't be saying that if it was Chrissy on his arm". Gareth teases Eddie whose cheeks go pink.
This is the thing that kills all of her confidence to ask him. She wasn't Chrissy, far from it and Eddie would never return her feelings.
It seemed silly now but she had this fantasy of wearing a beautiful prom dress and slow dancing with Eddie to a cute love song.
That wasn't meant to be though and she shrugs sadly.
"Right. Chrissy".
She heads to Family Video right after school and her mind is racing, heart sore as she explains to Robin and Steve what happened.
"I couldn't even get the words out, it sucks because all I've ever been dreaming of these last few months is to go to prom with Eddie but of course, he thinks it's Bullshit unless Chrissy was involved".
Robin gently rubs her back.
"You could come with Vickie and me? It will be so much fun! We will have such a good time! Vickie won't mind if we explain what happened". She softens.
"Robin, it's you and Vickie's first big night together and it's prom. So no I'm not crashing on that". Robin's eyes light up.
"How about if you went with Steve? Then we could all go together?". It sounds like a nice idea and she looks at Steve who agrees.
"Hey, take my favourite ladies to prom? Absolutely". With that settled she begins to feel excited about prom again and plans her outfit with Robin.
💞💞
Five days until prom.
The weekend passes in a haze of prom planning and she has found the most beautiful dress too.
It finally seems to be hitting some of the Hellfire Boys that prom is very soon as they have already started scrambling around for dates.
Eddie is planning to go with Jeff and Gareth and do some last-minute deals and get drunk.
Jeff smiles at her as she sits down and the way he looks at her makes her pause. Shit. She's sure she knows what's about to happen.
"So, y/n you can go to prom with one of us right?". She immediately feels their eyes on her and is a little flustered.
"I uh". Gareth pipes up and grins.
"It's perfect. If you go with Eddie then I can ask Sarah to the prom?". This annoys her. Was that all she was? A date of convenience. Could Eddie not ask her himself? Did he even want to go with her?
In her fantasies, him asking her was romantic not like this.
"I can't go with any of you. I have a date". This shuts them all up and Eddie's gaze locks onto her intently.
"Who are you going with?". She squirms and sips some water.
"Steve, all of you thought it was some big joke when I mentioned prom and it isn't. I wanted the pretty dress and to dance with the guy I liked but he didn't ask and Steve was sweet to agree to Robin's idea".
They are all silent, especially Eddie.
"I'm not a second choice either guys, Im not a second choice to Chrissy. I want my prom to be special". She gets up and leaves feeling a little lighter that her feelings have come out.
Prom night
She spent the afternoon with Robin and Vickie getting ready. The dress she's chosen is so pretty and fits her perfectly. Vickie does her and Robin's make-up and Steve arrives looking really handsome in his tux.
He hands her a gorgeous pink corsage and she accepts it happy to be with her friends on this night.
They all get in Steve's car and excited chatter fills the air as they reach Hawkins High and head into the gymnasium where prom is being held.
The minute she heads inside she spots Eddie with Jeff and Gareth, he looks handsome in an all-black suit, a Hellfire patch sewn on the suit jacket.
It makes her smile. He catches her eye and it sends butterflies through her stomach when he gapes.
Steve comes up to her and offers her punch and she's distracted from Eddie for a second missing the way his eyes flash at Steve who takes her hand and spins her around until she's giggling and he leads her onto the dancefloor with Steve.
Steve is dancing with Nancy and she watches them both feeling happy that they are reconnecting.
The minute Steve as Nancy sitting with her friends and looking longingly at the couples dancing she urged Steve to go and dance with her.
There's a gentle tap on her shoulder and she turns around to find Eddie looking at her nervous.
"Can I have this dance princess?". She slips her hand through his and he squeezes it as he leads her to the dancefloor.
"Jesus H Christ you look, beautiful sweetheart". He murmurs to her and she grins wrapping her as around his neck.
"You look good yourself Eddie". A faint tinge coats his cheeks.
"I should have asked you to prom, he admits to her. Hearing you talk about going with Steve and then seeing you with him? I didn't like it one bit, in fact, I was jealous".
He was jealous.
"Eddie... I wanted you to ask me" He strokes her cheek and she leans into his touch.
"I'm sorry it took me so fucking long to see what's been right in front of me all along sweetheart".
"But Chrissy?".
"What about her? She's pretty and all princess but she isn't you. She isn't my best friend or the most beautiful, girl in the world to me to me. You are". He leans down and kisses her tenderly, she returns the kiss on cloud nine.
It's everything she's ever wanted. He kisses her forehead and then her cheeks and to her lips.
She's at the prom. Dancing to a love song with the guy she's adored all of her life who is looking at her with reverence and holding her right against his chest.
It was perfect.
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thechaoticreader · 2 months
Text
10 Booktok Books I Refuse To Read (&Why)
I'm feeling a little controversial today and while I'm a microscopic blog might as well!
*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*
1. Any Colleen Hoover
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I don't like her as a person and don't want to give her money
Her writing style feels like I'm reading bad 2010's fanfics
Her plots feel half-baked and contrived
It feels like her plot twists are just there to emotionally manipulate the reader not to actually make the book better
Every twist is predictable
I've never met a likeable CoHo character
I hate reading insta-love
All of the male Leeds (😉) are toxic and shitty
The breeding kink that underlies most of her books make me very uncomfortable
The pick me "not like the other girls" attitude of the female MC's makes me hate them when im supposed to be rooting for them
thats all I can think of right now but there's probably more
If you want Verity vibes but well written, read Rebecca by Daphne De Maurier
If you want the writing style, plot points and vibes of the rest of her work but for free, visit Wattpad or Fanfiction.net or even venture further into this very site
2. Haunting Adeline
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Hate the writing style
The Q Anon subplot makes me so upset...like if I wanted to hear righty conspiracy theories and propaganda i'd hang out with my aunt...at least id get food out of that
I've been in abusive relationships and I'd find this book triggering and disgusting, not sexy
3. Fourth Wing
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I just feel like I've grown out of the genre (I was an avid reader during the Y/A dystopia craze of the 2000's/2010's)
hate the writing style
the world building makes no sense
bad chronic illness rep
in general not a romantacy fan
4. Sarah J. Maas
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Not a fan of her writing style
Not a romantacy fan
Don't have the attention span for MASSIVE series
5. Icebreaker
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I grew up in Southern Ontario surrounded by hockey boys...theres not much less sexy to me than a bunch of hockey bros
6. Hidden Pictures
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its transphobic :)
7. Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
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I loved the hunger games books and I'm afraid this will ruin it
8. Creedence
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not into incest
don't find abuse hot
9. Cassandra Clare
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not into incest
not into plagiarism
bad writing
series are entirely too long
10. The Pawn & The Puppet
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bad writing
the worst mental illness rep I've seen in a long time
transphobia
badly handled eating disorder
toxic at best love interest
don't like the author
there's definitely more but thinking about this book makes me so mad
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justchobi · 1 year
Text
“are you done yet?”
TLOU2! joel x platonic!reader (or pedro joel, whatever makes u happy)
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warnings: nothing tbh, just joel being a grumpy old dad.
summary: after a shift of checking for hoards with joel, you guys decide to ride back to jackson a bit early. due to your curiosity, you end up talking to him longer than joel appreciated.
A/N: hi guys.. erm, this is a "found family" fic, so the reader is pretty much a teen. if this gets any recognition and you repost, don't repost as like a relationship type deal, plz and thx :p also, im like 14 so please excuse how awful the writing is, i'm still trying to get used to it lol
you walk close to joel after you did a few rounds outside of Jackson. with your earbuds in your ears, joel climbs onto the horse before lifting you to sit in front of him. clicking the pause button, you remove the buds and stuff them in your pocket. joel grabs the rein and kicks the horses side as it begins to gallop, slowly picking up speed. it was awkward between the two of you.
“soo..” you started off. “did you hear how dina and ellie are thinking of getting married?” it was painfully silent.
“yes.” he said. his voice was rough but quiet. you keep your grip around his waist the same. “i don’t know if she wants me at the wedding.”
the atmosphere was tense. it was obvious he didn’t feel like talking, let alone to a curious kid. you thought to yourself, should i keep talking? “well, maybe you should ask her. you’re like her dad anyways, right?” he nodded his head before keeping it low.
“you think you’ll get married, joel?” he whipped his head around and glared at you. his eyes said “what are you talking about?” it caused you to laugh. “kid, what are you saying?” you caved in and started giggling. “i didn’t mean it in a bad way! just.. ya know, curious. anyone back home that catches your eye?” he shook his head.
“of course not, son. i prefer being alone. i don’t need a partner.” you look at him. he hadn’t told you about his past, but joel was a handsome man. there was no way he didn’t have a wife before all of this. “you didn’t have a wife before? or even a husband?” he hesitated at first, but opened up. “i did. she uh, left me. so i just had to take care of my daughter alone. it wasn’t too hard.”
“by daughter, do you mean-“
“no, i had a daughter before ellie. sarah.” he rubbed in between his eyes. “i’ll tell you later, ‘kay kiddo? just.. stop asking me questions for right now.”
you looked at him, sticking your tongue out behind his back. the sky got darker and the cold continued to increase in temperature. you held onto him tighter to stay warm.
“what’s your favorite thing in the whole world?” you could hear him groan. “pure silence without the voice of an annoying kid.” you chuckled with pride. “come on, old man. just answer the question!” it was quiet before he spoke again. “ i guess..” he thought for a few seconds. “movies. loved ‘em since i was a little boy.”
smiling, you lay your head on his back. it started to get warmed now that you were closer to him. and he didn’t seem to mind the fact you were practically glued to him. “maybe we could watch a movie later? when you have time, of course.”
he silent nodded his head. “i would like that.” you could hear a smile form on his face.
after your trip with him, you leap off the horse and put your bag on. you holding onto the animal for support while you put on some sneakers. coincidentally, joel place his hand on yours as you meet eyes. “hey, before you go kiddo..” he gave you a soft smile. “uh, thanks for the talk. it was short but.. i appreciate it.”
“psh. no need to thank me, dad-“ you catch yourself. no way you just said that. you put your foot back down and stomped away without looking back. hearing joel’s chuckles from behind, you wave goodbye. so embarrassing.. “i’ll see you later, joel.. looking forward to that movie night.”
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demxnicprxncess · 1 year
Note
Hiii :)
I really like your writing and i wanted to ask if you could write an Evan peters x fem reader story, where you are Evans gf. You go to a birthday party and tease each other the whole night (maybe some specific movements or touching). You end up in the bathroom, but the whooole action ends up at home. I just had that idea and hoped you could make a good story out of it
THis request is perfect for Evans bday sorry its so late btw im going thru some things but here you go!
Taglist: @kitwalkersgfff, @ppawmpkin, @yes-divine-ruler, @quicksilversg1rl, @charsdunkie, @eddiemunsonsbitch69, @dahmevan, @sultrysullen dm me to be added or removed dears.
His Bday | Evan x Fem!Reader
Cw: angst?, smut but like its making love ig? idk. Happy birthday Evan!
A couple minutes after we got to the beautiful birthday party that the lovely Ms. Sarah Paulson had arranged for the beloved Evan Peters, my husband might I add, some floozie decided to ruin my mood immediately. She hugged him for longer than the friendly overextending 20 seconds, kissed his cheek and decided to announce that he had been her celebrity crush for so many years. However, me being the good wife I am settled on just letting it be, because at the end of the day I will be in OUR bed BESIDE him. He also thought it would be fun to tease me and dance with the woman. I'm trying not to be hurt because he's just trying to fuck with me, but then I see her hands tangle into his hair before he pushes her away and explains it was a friendly dance. I can't help but feel some type of way, his teasing turned against him and now it was my turn to become insufferable. I walked over to him grabbing his hand and dragging him into the bathroom, not caring who bothered to look at where the birthday boy was going. Once in the bathroom I slammed the door shut and locked the door. "Well, Mrs. Peters, how could you drag me from my own par-" He stopped talking as I pressed my lips into his, my hand snaking down to cup his soft dick and massage it, feeling the length grow in my hands. "Sorry Mr. Peters, I just couldn't stop myself." I removed my hand from him and pulled away. "Go have fun baby, Happy Birthday!" He looked at me and covered his now hard dick in his pants glaring at me, forming his lips to object but I push him out of my way and walk out of the bathroom, causing him to follow me like a lost puppy whining about how mean I am before Sarah smacks him dead in the face with a little cake. I turn around and start laughing which makes him smear some on my face. "Evan! My makeup!" He laughed at me and rubbed it all the way down to my cleavage. "Don't you dare." He smirked and ran it over my dress making me smear his into his shirt, we busted into giggles and smiles as Sarah chuckled. "Alright, we'll let you guys go home." I wiped the cake off my face nodding. Once we finally got home, I couldn't even remove my jacket before he was sweeping me off my feet and carrying me to our room. "Evan! Put me down!" He smirked and dropped me on the bed making me bounce and chuckle. "I've been waiting to undress you all night babe." I smiled at him and sat up so he could push up the rather short dress. "But I'm too impatient." I felt him pull my panties down and then I heard him pull his dick out. He lined it up with my entrance and pushed in making me whine out in pleasure. "I love you so much (name) Peters." I smiled before moaning again feeling him pull out slowly and push in at that same pace in a loving manner. "I love you too Evan." I wrapped my arms and legs around his neck and torso as I felt my body push with each of his gentle yet deep thrusts. "Fuck, you're all mine and I don't ever have to share you baby." I whined out in agreement as I felt myself getting closer. He slipped his hand down to my clit rubbing figure eights on it making me jolt in pleasure. "Ev, please." He kissed me and rubbed faster while still lovingly grinding his dick in and out of me. I felt my body convulse before I spilled my liquids onto his cock and him into me. "I love you so much, happy birthday." He smiled and kissed my collar still inside of me, me dress bunched up his pants at his ankles and us dozing off into sleep. "I love you too baby."
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Text
daddy day care// steve rogers
pairing: dad!steve rogers x reader, slight bucky barnes x reader (platonic)
summary: when bucky goes on a mission and it goes wrong causing him to become a 6 year old boy once again who better to look after him than his two best friends.
warnings: none currently
a/n: guess who's back! i'm finally writing again and im so happy! ive been so busy with college and work but as it's christmas i've had time to write. i am currently working on my first request and i'm so excited for you to read it but first have this fic!
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Y/N and Steve were sat in the living room watching TV when their four year old daughter, Sarah Jamie Rogers, came rushing into the room clutching one of her teddies and she had a silver princess crown on her head. 
“Daddy, when's uncle Bucky going to be back?” She asked.
“Either tonight or tomorrow princess,” Steve said.
“Ughh, okay” Sarah groaned
“Why baby what’s wrong” Y/N said to her daughter who was now pouting slightly.
“I need someone to play tea parties with” Sarah stated as if it was common knowledge.
“I can play with you princess all you have to do is ask” 
“No I don’t want to play with you, you don’t play it properly”
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you could play tea parties wrong” Steve said jokingly, poking his daughters ribs causing her to giggle but then she stopped and wore a sad expression on her face once again. 
“You don’t wear the princess crown or the b-b-”Sarah stutters, looking to her mum for help. 
“Boa baby” Y/N said.
“Boa and without it it’s just not the same” Sarah said slightly whining. 
“Well, I’m sure when Buck gets back I’m sure he will want to play with you” Steve said, pressing a kiss on her forehead, “But until then why don’t me, you and mummy have a movie afternoon and I’ll go get some snacks and we can cuddle hmm?” 
“Yeeeaaahhh” Sarah yelled loudly, jumping onto the sofa elbowing Steve in his crotch causing him to grunt, standing up slowly and walking out the door. 
-
It had been two days since Bucky, Sam and Tony were due home from their mission and it was causing Steve and Y/N to worry none of them were answering their phones or had even contacted anyone in those two days.
“I’m worried they should have been back ages ago” Steve said pulling Y/N in closer rubbing his thumb up and down her arm absentmindedly.
“I know, if we don’t hear from them by tomorrow we will start to panic okay” Y/N said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
-
The next morning Steve and Y/N are awoken by loud banging on their bedroom door. Steve gets up and opens the door to see Sam stood panting.
“You’re back, what took so long,” Steve said, pulling Sam into a hug.
“Yeah um about that, we had a slight problem. Tony tried to fix it but without his tech he couldn’t so we had to come back”
“Why, what happened?” Y/N said standing next to Steve.
“It’s hard to explain, it’ll be easier to just show you” Sam said as he turned and rushed down the corridor. 
As Y/N and Steve entered the living room they saw Tony with his back to the two of them talking to Pepper who seemed slightly stressed but no Bucky in sight and that’s when Y/N heard it, the sound of tiny feet running across the floor and the sound of a small child's laughter. 
Y/N turned expecting to see Sarah except she saw a small brunette boy with bright blue eyes, Bucky.
“What the hell happened on that mission” 
“He may or may not have temporarily been captured by Hydra” Sam muttered 
“What!” 
“They have developed a new weapon, they used it on Bucky and when we found him he was a child” 
“So how do we fix this?” Steve asked as he watched Bucky jump onto the sofa giggling. 
“I’ll have to see what they actually did to him before I can reverse it, so it’s going to take a while,” Tony said.
“Okay, so what do we with him until then because he can’t be left alone, he’s a kid” Y/N said 
 “Well…” Tony said looking between Y/N and Steve, “I think it’s pretty clear who should look after him”
“I mean he isn’t wrong” Sam said “You two do actually have a kid that’s around the same age as Bucky”
“So does Tony” Y/N said
“Technically Morgan is older and I can’t look after him as well as try and reverse what they did all at the same time” 
“Maybe it would be good for us to look after him, he is your best friend and it will be good for Sarah to be around someone her age a bit more. We both know she misses Bucky” Y/N said as she turned to Steve.
“Okay, we will look after him” Steve said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 
-
It had been three hours since Bucky returned and to say Y/N and Steve had their work cut out. Bucky was a ball of energy and with the serum it made it 20 times worse and when he was put in a room with Sarah and the two were wild. The two had always been close and when they were together they were always up to something and causing some sort of trouble and now they were the same age it was worse, mainly because Bucky now had the same energy levels as Sarah so he wasn’t getting tired as quickly so he could run around just as much as she could now. 
Y/N and Steve were laying on the sofa with her head resting on his lap as he rubbed her forehead slowly with his thumb. 
“Are you feeling okay? You don’t look so good” Steve said looking down at Y/N.
“Yeah just tired, they’ve just worn me out” 
“You sure, you’re not getting sick or anything are you?” 
“No, just tired. I think it’s cause I don’t have the serum but all three of you do” Y/N said, smiling up at Steve.
“Okay but if your tired go to sleep sweetheart”
“I’m okay, I just need to relax a little” Y/N said, although within twenty minutes she was fast asleep. 
-
It was the next morning and Y/N was standing in the kitchen making Bucky and Sarah breakfast whilst Steve was on a run, suddenly Y/N was hit by a wave of nausea. Holding back the urge to be sick when Sam came into the kitchen. Tony was slowly getting closer to solving what happened to Bucky and is working on something to bring Bucky back to how he should be.-=
“Can you keep an eye on the food and the kids please” Y/N asked Sam trying to talk quickly to get to the toilet quicker. 
“Yeah, you okay?” Sam asked with a concerned tone in his voice.
“Um maybe” Y/N said as she walked quickly to the toilet. 
She opened the door and kneeled in front of the toilet, shutting the door with her foot. 
“Hey, Y/N you okay?” 
Y/N recognised that voice from anywhere, Nat. Nat had become Y/N’s best friend, she was the reason her and Steve were together, for every big moment Nat was there. Her and Steve’s wedding, the proposal, Y/N finding out she was pregnant with Sarah, Sarah’s birth. It only made sense for her and Bucky to be Sarah’s godparents. 
Nat could hear her being sick and knew she hated it luckily she didn’t really have that problem with Sarah’s pregnancy. “Oh, Y/N.” Nat said, pulling her hair into a ponytail and tying it with the hairband she had on her wrist. “I know, just get it all out” She said, rubbing her back slowly. 
After a few minutes, Y/N sat up and leant against the wall next to Nat. “I think I might have food poisoning, I told Tony the chicken didn’t look cooked” Y/N said wiping her mouth with some tissue. 
“Babe, we all had the chicken and your the only one that’s ill” Nat said, that’s when it hit Y/N.
Her period was a few days late. She felt sick. Her hormones have been slightly out of whack but she assumed it was having another child around causing her to be slightly more reactive. But now that she thinks about the symptoms as a group she realises she felt the same around 5 years ago. When she found out she was pregnant with Sarah. 
Y/N jumped up and rushed to the bathroom that was connected to her and Steve’s bedroom with Nat following behind her. She could hear Nat calling her name but the adrenaline currently rushing through her veins. She rushed over to the sink and dropped to her knees and began rummaging through the cupboard. As she reached into the back corner that was when she felt the box. She opened the box and pulled out the white package. 
It had been 3 minutes and Nat was sat on the bathroom with Y/N. Y/N reached over to the white stick that rested near her feet. She picked it up and flipped it over. 
Pregnant.
Tears filled Y/N’s eyes as she felt Nat pull her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around Nat. Y/N wasn’t even sure how to feel, she felt overwhelmed. Would Steve be happy? How is Sarah going to react? And then there’s Bucky. Y/N is currently looking after two children and it’s hard work. Would she cope with three?
“Hey, look at me. It’s all going to be okay” Nat said as she wiped the tears off Y/N’s cheek with her thumb. Nat could tell that Y/N was overwhelmed. It happened when she found out she was pregnant with Sarah. Her mind just goes into overdrive thinking about all the possible outcomes, some good but some bad. 
The door opened causing Y/N and Nat to look towards it and saw Steve. 
“Hey, what's going on in here? It looks slightly dodgy. Should I be concerned?” Steve said as he walked into the bathroom leaning against the wall opposite the girls. 
“You should always be concerned rogers, you wife is sexy”
“Oh really Romanoff? I haven’t noticed” Steve said as he leant down to press a kiss onto Y/N’s lips, using his index finger to tilt her chin up. That’s when Steve noticed the white stick laying on the floor. 
“Y/N?” Steve said with a questioning tone in his voice “Is this what I think it is?” Y/N nodded quickly. Steve had never been so happy, his smile grew and he placed another kiss on her lips. Nat knew they needed a moment alone so she left and went to spend time with Sarah. 
He had always wanted a family pre-serum but after he came out of the ice he lost the desire. He couldn’t see himself having children with or marrying anyone other than Peggy. That was until he met Y/N. She changed him for the better and everyone around him noticed it, especially Bucky. When he came back from Wakanda he was finally ready to meet the girl his best friend wouldn’t shut up about and to say all three were nervous would be an understatement. Steve wasn’t sure what he would do if the two most important people in his life would get on but he couldn’t have been any further from the truth. The two immediately got on like a house on fire, if anything they got on two well. It was common for the two to pick on Steve. Especially once Sarah was born. It was Y/N’s idea to give Sarah the middle name Jamie in honour of Bucky. He saved Steve’s life multiple times and for that naming her child after him was the least Y/N could do. 
-
It had been a week since the pair found out they would be welcoming another life into the world. They were both laying in bed with Sarah in between them with Steve subtly rubbing Y/N’s stomach when they heard a knock at the door. Sarah immediately jumped up and opened the door. 
“Hey uncle Tony”
“Hey kiddo, where’s your parents?” Tony said, shocked slightly by the small person that opened the door.
“What do you need Tony?”  Steve said, standing behind Sarah with Y/N next to him. 
“I’ve done it, I can bring him back” Tony said, being careful what he said not knowing how much Sarah knew about the Bucky situation. 
“Are you sure?” Y/N asked, “It won’t hurt him will it?”
“Well I mean it might a little bit but it won’t cause any more damage to him” Tony said as Sarah ran off and grabbed her doll that was laying on the floor.
“That’s great, when can you do it?”
“Now. Where is he?” 
“Uh, terrorising Peter with Sam” 
“Okay let’s go save the kid and sort out that issue” Tony said as three of them leave with Sarah following behind, although she notices Nat and immediately runs to her. 
-
When they entered Tony’s lab Y/N was holding Bucky in her arms. Tony walked over to the two with a vial with a clear liquid in and handed it to Y/N. She placed Bucky on the floor and Bucky turned to look up at Steve.
“Stevie” Bucky said causing Steve to bend down onto one knee to be at Bucky’s eye level.
“Yeah buddy”
“I don’t want to drink the nasty liquid”
“I know but if you want to be back to yourself then you need to”
“What if I like being small? I don’t want to be big” Bucky exclaimed causing Steve to chuckle. “And Sarah will be sad she told me she likes me being little cause we can play all day” 
“I know but Sarah will have a new friend in about 8 months so she will be okay” Steve said quietly ruffling Bucky’s hair. Bucky looked slightly confused at first but then realised what they meant, Y/N was pregnant. 
“Hey, Bucky. I know you are feeling scared but I promise we would never do anything to hurt you, it will just be a little uncomfortable. We just need to get the old Bucky back” Tony said, kneeling next to Steve. The two had a complicated relationship and it took a while but eventually the two managed to put aside all the drama and tension  and are now civil. 
Bucky took the vial into his hand and poured it down his throat. He felt the liquid run through his body causing him to grunt.
-
Steve and Y/N walked into the living room where Nat and Peter were sat on the floor playing with Sarah. 
“Hey, there’s our little princess. Are you having fun?” Steve said as he picked Sarah up who came crashing into him.
“Yeah, we were playing princesses”
“I can tell” Y/N said looking at Peter who had a crown on his head and a tutu. 
“UNCLE BUCKY” Sarah screamed, wriggling out of Steve’s grip and colliding into Bucky’s legs. 
“Hey munchkin” Bucky said as he scooped up Sarah. 
“How are you big again” Sarah asked squeezing Bucky’s cheeks together
“Uncle Tony helped me out so now we can play again”
“But I liked when you were small, we could play more” Sarah said whining slightly.
“I know munchkin but we can still play, I will always play with you. You know that” Bucky said, pressing a kiss on her forehead.
Y/N looked over to Steve after seeing Sarah’s putty lip she felt guilty. She knew it was the hormones but there was one thing she knew would cheer up Sarah.
“Steve”
“Yeah baby” He said, wrapping an arm over her shoulders, looking down slightly at her.
“I think we should tell her” 
“You sure?”
“Yeah plus she will probably get suspicious soon” 
“Hey, it’s up to you. If you think we should tell her then we’ll tell her” Steve said pressing a kiss onto Y/N’s lips.
“Sarah, baby come here for me please”   
Bucky placed Sarah on the floor and she skipped over to her parents who were now sat on the sofa. 
“Hey princess”
“Hi mumma” Sarah says as she is placed between the two of them.
“We have something to tell you” Steve said 
“What is it?”
“You know how Peter is Morgan’s big brother?” 
“Yeah uncle Tony adopted him”
“Yeah exactly so how would you feel if you were to be a big sister in about 8 months” Y/N said, studying Sarah’s reaction which was a very confused one. 
“Mumma has a baby in her tummy” Steve said cousin Sarah’s jaw to drop.
“A baby? How did it get there?” Sarah asked Y/N
“We will explain it when you are older princess” Y/N said chuckling as she kissed Sarah on the forehead. 
Sarah looked down at Y/N’s stomach for a few seconds and then lent in closer to it placing a kiss on her mum’s belly. 
“I love you baby”
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