#sassy bucky

[yourenotdonefighting]

It's truly impossible to decide which version of Bucky Barnes (post being TWS) I love the most. Every time I think brooding, angry, would-burn-the-world-to-the-ground-for-the-people-he-loves Bucky has my heart ...

(Yes... please show me all that leverage, James.)

... he gets all sassy and grumpy and smart-mouthed.

... and because that's just not enough, he goes and smiles and turns into *Soft Bucky*, and I just cannot handle it.

*swoon.*

#do I have to choose? #the correct answer is all of the above #I love every version of him #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #iykyk #comfort character #marvel mcu #I've been thinking about this all day #tfatws #tfatws bucky #soft bucky #sassy bucky #james bucky barnes

[itsagentromanoff]

Bucky: Hey, Sam.

Sam: Hey, Bucky. What are you doing here?

Bucky: Oh, I'm living here again.

Sam: Do, uh, Steve and Tony know? Or is it like a possum in the walls kind of thing?

#original: the big bang theory #robert downey jr #sebastian stan #anthony mackie #chris evans #tony stark #steve rogers #sam wilson #bucky barnes #stony #winteriron #stuckony #sassy Sam Wilson #the avengers #non avengers quotes #quoting the avengers #tony x bucky #tony x steve #tony x steve x bucky

[therealcalrissian]

remember that one scene in tfatws where bucky helps out sam on that boat??

i knew crosshair reminded me of another corrupted soldier turned loving sassy brother who needs serious therapy because of his ignored trauma here

#if they ever met crosshair would pull a rocket and ask for his arm #bucky would take it off and throw it at him causing crosshair to stab him with a toothpick and sass him so hard he stumbles backward #then they would have a sassy fistfight with so much attitude hunter would have to intervene #sam and omega are standing in the corner like #•-• #that’s them #star wars #sw tbb #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #memes #tbb #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #the bad batch star wars #meme #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #winter soldier #bucky barnes #captain america #the first avenger #star wars memes #omega tbb #tbb crosshair #crosshair

[navybrat817]

Make Yourself at Home

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You find a familiar face in your home after a long day. Word Count: Over 2.1k Warnings: Pining, fluff, feels, swearing, sass, a bit of humor, mentions of blood and trauma, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?) A/N: Hey, lovelies! I began this in June of 2021. That's right! I'm slowly, but surely, trying to make my way through WIPs and this felt good to complete. Shockingly no smut for Sinday. Beta read by the beautiful @buckyownsmylife, but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by the wonderful @sweeterthanthis. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please reblog or comment as it means the world!

To say that you had a rough work day was an understatement. Between spilling your drink all over yourself on your way to your desk, being unprepared for a last minute meeting (which your boss called you out on), and your system crashing right before your report was finished, you were done. All you wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a stiff drink. Anything to forget that you had to stay at that place to get a paycheck. 

I can't even fuck out my frustrations since I'm painfully single. I really need to buy a new toy.

The moment you walked in your front door, you knew it wouldn't be a relaxing evening. The glow from the living room gave it away. Sighing, you tossed your bag and keys down before heading into the room. You weren’t shocked when you saw Bucky Barnes slumped against your couch, but you weren't exactly happy either.

The dark tactical gear clashed with the soft throw pillows surrounding the soldier. He often looked larger than his 6'3" height since he took up space, but he somehow looked like he belonged there. He cut his long locks some time ago, his short, dark hair urging you to run your fingers through it. Maybe you could pull it if he gave you the chance.  

I would have a crush on a man who may have a death wish.

“Hey, doll,” he smirked when he acknowledged your presence. “We really need to stop meeting like this.”

“Well, maybe we would if you would STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!”

He seemed to wince more at your tone than the wound on his right arm. “What can I say? You and your place are comforting.”

You tried to ignore the way your heart raced faster at his sincerity. “You’re bleeding on my couch!”

“Sorry. I’ll get it cleaned or replaced. I promise,” he swore as he sat up more, smiling a bit when you rushed over to help.

“That’s what you said about my rug,” you muttered as you sat down. How does someone bleeding smell so good? He already had your first aid kit, water and towels on the coffee table. He knew by heart where you kept everything. "What happened this time? Who did this to you?"

Bucky’s smile widened as he shifted to give you more room. “Why? Will you take him out for me?”

“I just might,” you said. Truthfully, your heart stopped whenever you saw him in a state like this, even though he bounced back quickly. And you wanted to hurt anyone who hurt him. 

I’ve got it bad. Why am I like this?

"I’m flattered, but I handled him and you don’t need to worry about it. Fucker had a knife up his sleeve though. Not as nice as mine," he told you as you opened the kit, taking a moment to figure out what you needed to clean the wound with.

"Better not let Steve catch you swearing. He might chastise you."

"Don't let that punk fool you. He swears like a sailor and he's still kicking himself for saying 'language' to his team. Wish I could've been there to hear that."

The fondness made you smile a little. You were glad Bucky had a good friend by his side. You were also flattered that Bucky trusted you enough to tell you stories. "Super soldier reflexes certainly don't stop you from getting hurt, do they?"

"Nope. Still human."

"You know, sometimes I think you fake these just so you have an excuse to visit me."

"You caught me," he half joked, something soft in his eyes as he looked at you. 

"Bucky, how many times have you broken in?"

"More than enough," he acknowledged.

The first time Bucky broke into your place, to hide out from someone whose name you can’t even remember, you almost took a swing at him because you thought he was a burglar. You, luckily, recognized the former Winter Soldier and he promised he wouldn’t hide out long. But after the day you had today, you were reconsidering grabbing the nearest object and throwing it at his head. If only for making you worry. 

I doubt it would knock any sense into him. And I shouldn't be mad at him. He didn't do anything. Except break in. Again. 

Every few weeks, Bucky let himself into your place when he got injured or needed a quiet place to relax. Some nights he talked to you and others he hardly said a word. He even left you "thank you" gifts following his visits. Admittedly, you looked forward to them, even on your bad days, because you simply got to see him. You just wish you knew why he kept coming back. 

"Seriously. Why don't you see a doctor or a nurse?" you questioned, carefully dabbing at the cut. "They're much more qualified than I am."

"I told you, doll. You and your place are more comforting."

"Stop calling me doll!"

"Sure thing, sassy," he smirked, making you groan when your cheeks felt hot. 

"Grumpy," you grumbled back at him. 

If I use one of his own knives on him, can I consider it self defense? 

"I'm not grumpy. I'm an old man," he argued.

"You don't look like an old man. My new boyfriend might be jealous."

Your eyes flickered up just in time to catch the tiny tick in his jaw. "You're seeing someone?"

"No," you scoffed, not bothering to continue with the joke. "Still single, like every other time you've shown up."

Bucky slowly exhaled, relaxing against the cushions again. "That's good," he whispered.

Your teeth ground together as you cleaned him up. Maybe it was good to him, but it wasn't to you. It was lonely.

"You okay?" he asked. 

"Fine," you lied, avoiding his gaze.

He gently caught your wrist before you pulled away, the metal cool against your skin. "I really am sorry about the couch. I know the last thing you want is to deal with me."

Guilt crept in when you saw hurt in his icy blue eyes. “It isn’t ‘dealing’ with you, Bucky, and I’m sorry for snapping. Work was shit, but that's no excuse to take it out on you."

“I'm sorry you had a bad day," he swore and you wished the ground would swallow you up. The man was hurt and he felt bad for you. "And I don’t blame you. I did kind of invade your space again.”

“It's okay," you said, glancing at your wrist. He was still holding it, his grip softer than you expected. "Why do you come here? Is it really comforting?”

He sighed as he rested his head against the cushion. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere since it’s my place,” you teased, making him chuckle. You did pride yourself on making the often stoic man laugh. “So, try me.”

"You're not afraid of me," he stated, his thumb moving in slow circles over your pulse. You weren't sure if he was aware that he was doing it, but it had your heart racing faster. "Most people are."

"I have no reason to be afraid of you. As many times as you've managed to break in, you would've hurt me long ago if you wanted to," you said, shaking your head. "And I don't think you'll do that."

"I've hurt and killed people," he swallowed as he looked at the ceiling.

You weren't sure if he wanted you to listen or respond, but you chose the latter. "I know," you acknowledged, shifting so you could face him as he lifted his head. "But from what I've heard and what you've told me, it wasn't you, Bucky. You didn't have a choice."

"It doesn't make what happened go away," he said, blinking rapidly at the wetness that filled his eyes.

Seeing him on the verge of tears made you blink a few times, too. You wanted to hug him, but refused to initiate that kind of touch without his permission. "No, it doesn't, but you aren't who they tried to force you to be."

"Then who am I?" his voice cracked as his grip tightened on your wrist.

It doesn't hurt. You won't hurt me.

"You're Bucky," you stated, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "You're a hero and good man. You're also a pain in my ass who keeps ruining my furniture."

Bucky chuckled, his nose scrunching like you told a hilarious joke. The sound soothed the cracks his tears formed in your heart. The pain hadn't left his eyes, but it began to fade. "That easy to answer, huh?"

"I wouldn't say that. I think it's just easier for us to see the best in others because we tend to see the worst in ourselves."

"Is that what you do? See the worst in yourself?"

"I try not to," you admitted, but you were human. It was easy to hyperfocus on your flaws. 

"I don't want you doing that," he said, frowning as his hand moved from your wrist to your fingers. 

The delicate touch had your thighs pressing together. You hoped his super soldier senses didn't detect arousal. Though you pretty much were turned on at some point during each visit, this was a heart-to-heart moment and no time to want him.

"You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do. I worry about you when I'm not around," he said, sitting up a bit as you moved closer. "It's one of the reasons I don't use your front door. I don't want your neighbors to recognize me and be afraid."

"Yes, because breaking and entering is safer. Great logic, grumpy."

Bucky laughed, his eyes warm again. "Can I admit something and you can throw me out, sassy?"

"I won't throw you out, but I'm listening."

He cleared his throat, toying with your fingers. "I don't have nightmares after I see you."

His words hit you in your chest. You didn't know what to say. "You don't?"

"No," a heartbeat passed before he spoke again. "Most nights I wake up in a cold sweat, remembering the screams and fear. I remember everything."

"Bucky, I'm so sorry," you spoke, wishing you could take that pain away.

"The days I see you before I go home, I think of your smile, your scent, even your sass. A woman who showed me kindness time and time again, even on tiring and long days," he smiled sadly as you hung on his every word. "I eventually fall asleep and wake up peacefully. Nothing else I do works."

It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to you. "I had no idea."

"It's why I'm glad you don't have a boyfriend because I know he wouldn't tolerate me being around. Among other reasons."

You almost threw yourself at him, but had to maintain your dignity as you carefully leaned in. You weren't sure if the temperature rose in the room, but the sudden tension had you breathing faster. "What other reasons?"

"I think you know," he whispered, his gaze dropping to your lips. 

Oh, shit. 

"For the record, no boyfriend of mine will tell me who I can and can't be friends with."

"I don't doubt that," he said, placing a hand on your cheek. 

"He needs to clean up his messes," you teased. "Like bleeding on my couch."

"That's a given," he smiled, his massive thighs opening so you could move in closer.

"I would also like it if he took me out on a date once in awhile," you added. 

"I can take you out," he offered as you pressed closer, your heart pounding faster. You were practically in his lap and he wasn't stopping you. "Wherever you want to go."

"Yeah? You want to be my boyfriend?" you asked, smiling at how silly the question sounded. "You've already bought me gifts."

"If you'll let me," he answered, his lips a fraction away from yours. "I'll even use the front door."

"I'd like that," you sighed, closing your eyes as his nose touched yours.

Finally. He's finally going to kiss me.

"Buck!" Steve said from the window, climbing inside as the two of you broke apart. Bucky caught you before you fell backwards. The former captain's boots didn't make a sound as they touched the floor, brushing his gloved hands on his thighs. "Why didn't you answer your- Oh. I'm sorry. Am I interrupting?"

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?!

Bucky ran his hand over his face with a sigh and handed you one of the pillows. "Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?" 

 "Duck."

*****

Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #grumpy and sassy #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

[livingincolorsagain]

Y’all know I’m all about sambucky being cat dads™️ but them being dog dads is just as good actually. It’s especially hilarious because they’re so obviously cat people and absolutely no one expects them to have a dog.

But one time after a mission they’re walking and they hear this whining and they find a little puppy hiding behind a dumpster and it’s cold and dark and they’re like ‘well we can’t just leave him here!’, so Bucky opens his jacket and carry the puppy there and they buy him food and they take him home all while being ‘we’re not keeping him! just until we find him a home! we’re not even gonna name him!’

But when one of them is having a nightmare, he sneaks into the room and licks their face until they wake up. He loves cuddling Bucky while he reads and staying as close as possible to Sam as he works on Redwing, or when he’s cooking. He loves Cass and AJ so much and is very protective of them. Sarah pretends so hard she disapproves but she absolutely melts at the puppy’s big brown eyes and ends up cuddling him all day and sneaking him all the treats.

So, yeah. They keep the dog. Probably end up naming him Gandalf or something. (Bucky’s fault. He called him that as a joke and now he only answers to it. And maybe Goodest Boy.)

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sarah wilson #cass wilson #aj wilson #sambucky headcanons #a writes sambucky #can you tell i want a dog? #i don’t think my very sassy cat will approve but i really do

[ljlokijinx]

Steve: Spidey, you are BLEEDING from a STAB wound!

Peter: Do I look like I care?

Steve: Not really no..

Peter: Why do you think that is?

Steve:....

Peter: It's because I'm a bad actor bitch.

Steve: I walked right into that one didn't I?

Tony: Yeah, you really did.

#bucky would just cackle #this is what its like steve! #when you want to help someone but they think their invincible #im sorry bucky i cant hear you over the sound of jumping from an airplane without a parachutw #steve rodgers #peter parker #spiderman #spider-man #spider man #iron man #tony stark #captain america #avengers #avengers funny #avengers incorrect quotes #avengers incorrect scenarios #domestic avengers #sassy peter parker #peter doesnt give a shit

[kalee60]

My latest AU fic is finally up - my twist on royalty!

Title: made you look

Rating: E

Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Guards, Pining, Sassy Bucky, explicit sexual content, bottom Bucky, POV Bucky Barnes, slight dom/sub, mild fighting scenes

Summary:

Being part of the Wakandan King's Guard was a job Bucky never thought he'd fall into. But apart from the uniform, it was a great gig, especially since he got to stare at Captain Steve Rogers when the changing of the guard occurred. The same Captain who six months earlier promised him the night of his life then disappeared, ignoring him after.

So when Bucky ends up on duty with Steve, he wasn't expecting to be recognised, nor was he expecting a rogue intruder to interrupt his less than platonic thoughts.

First save the palace - second get the guy?

Or was there some other plan in motion that Bucky didn't know about?

~*~*~*~

If this sounds like something you'd be interested to read - click on in here!

This is also for the @stuckybingo prompt - N2: "jerk"

#stucky #my writing #alternate universe #royalty #well - my twist on it anyway... #sassy Bucky - though when isn't he?? #captain steve rogers #stoic until he's not ... #lots of words for so little plot 😅 #kalees AU extravaganza

[onbearfeet]

If anyone wants insight into how I write Bucky Barnes in Monster Mash, know that this Bucky lives rent-free in my brain.

Also this one.

And this one.

In conclusion, everyone who is not writing Bucky Barnes as a sassy little shit who's done with everyone and everything is missing an opportunity.

(To clarify, the third example was from a conversation about who was going to fake their death and then sneak around a Kree base.)

God, I loved All-New Invaders.

#bucky barnes #winter soldier #comics #fanfiction #monster mash #sassy bitch bucky barnes

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

All of my favorite characters are whumpees & there’s so many different kinds. I personally love sassy AND stoic ones best, so here’s a venn diagram of some of my all-time favorites. Reblog with what you think!

Sassy:

-Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer)

-Arya Stark (Game of Thrones)

-Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

-Sawyer (Lost)

Sassy AND Stoic:

-Bucky Barnes (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

-Natasha Romanoff (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

-Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan, specifically in the prequel OVA A Choice With No Regrets)

-Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Stoic:

-Aaron “Hotch” Hotchner (Criminal Minds)

-Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)

-Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan)

-David Budd (The Bodyguard)

-Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows)

-Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan, main episodes)

-Leroy Jethro Gibbs (NCIS)

-Castiel (Supernatural)

Stoic AND Nerdy Sweetheart:

-Peter Petrelli (Heroes)

Nerdy Sweetheart:

-Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

Nerdy Sweetheart AND Sassy:

-Malcolm Bright (Prodigal Son)

-Shawn Spencer (Psych)

-Steve Harrington (Stranger Things, post season 1)

-Peter Parker (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

All of the Above:

-Ash Lynx (Banana Fish)

-Patrick Jane (The Mentalist)

Overall, stoic and sassy combos are my favorite, but most of the shows/books I like are stoic whumpees. What about you?

#spike #buffy the vampire slayer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #arya stark #game of thrones #whump #whumpee #stoic #sassy #nerdy #logan echolls #veronica mars #sawyer #lost #bucky barnes #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #natasha romanoff #levi ackerman #a choice with no regrets #attack on titan #captain levi #dean winchester #supernatural #castiel #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #jon snow

[atlas-the-bastard]

Not me falling in love with another dark haired, gay as hell, traumatised, sassy/sarcastic/dramatic fictional boy who only wears black clothes.

#this is about barty crouch jr. #the newest addition to my collection #barty crouch jr. #sirius black #regulus black #nico di angelo #klaus hargreeves #bucky barnes #jesper fahey #except jes doesnt wear black he wears horridly yellow vests and lime pants and purple jackets bcos hes so silly #WILLGRAHAM #cant believe i nearly forgot my baby #will graham #also kinda an exception with the clothes and also the sassy/sarcastic/dramatic thing but its ok bcos hes pretty #although you could argue pulling hannibal off a cliff with him was pretty dramatic #actually he talks in metaphors half the time that boy is dramatic as hell #anyway ill shut up now #atlas talks

[lavender-annd-lilac]

👁👄👁

So we all know the classic Fic Rec list, but what I really haven’t seen much of is the Fic “Anti-Rec” list.

Just like the wonderful work tumblr is doing with content censorship rn, I would also like to provide you with ways to steer clear of potentially enjoyable content. 😃

⭐️I present, the anti-rec list:⭐️

a collection of written works along with reasons why, and situations where, you shouldn’t read them. Pls enjoy :) All works are 18+ 

The Last Time - @sunshinebuckybarnes

Don’t read if: you are driving. That’s just straight up irresponsible. Keep your eyes on the road pls. 👀

 Only the Lonely  - @charnelhouse 

Don’t read if: you aren’t wearing your preferred form of vision enhancement (glasses, contacts, etc.). You won’t be able to see the words AT ALL, and let me tell you, the words are the best part. 😉

  Crossing Lines - @speechlessxx 

Don’t read if: you plan on harassing the author afterwards b/c you weren’t being responsible for your own media consumption. You don’t deserve the feelings of happiness and joy this 2 part fic will elicit. Improve yourself and then come back when you are enlightened, mmmmmmkay? Peace & love ✌️

 I Want Your Midnights - @mjolnir-steve 

Don’t read if: you are on the FBI’s most wanted list. Turn yourself in first buddy, then go ahead and reward yourself by reading this masterpiece. Don’t forget to reblog after 😘

Snowstorm pt1 & pt2 - @cherienymphe​

Don’t read if: You aren’t ready to deal with multiple roommates, because this fic and its part 2 will be living rent free in your head long after you’ve finished reading. 😤

 Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes - @thenhewaswrongaboutme 

Don’t read if: you’ve just cut the red wire by accident and the timer on the bomb you were trying to diffuse has started to count down. This is currently an ongoing series, so there is literally no way you will be able to finish before the bomb goes off. You will literally die without knowing how it ends, and I’m pretty sure that’s one of the top 5 Worst Ways to Die. 👻 

 Pillow Princess - @runa-falls 

Don’t read if: you don’t have access to clean water. This 2 part series is a real tear-jerker, and by that I mean once you’ve finished, you will be crying for hours b/c there’s no part 3. Dehydration is guaranteed. If you don’t think you will be able to remain properly hydrated, please put your health first and just wait until you accumulate enough drinkable liquid as a safety measure. 💧

 You Were the One - @georgiapeach30513 

Don’t read if: you are currently working overtime in retail on a Black Friday, x-mas eve, or other hectic shopping event. From experience, I can tell you this is a very disruptive environment, and you will likely be harassed multiple times. These interruptions will negatively affect your enjoyment of this series, which would be doing a great disservice to both yourself and the author. 😵‍💫

 The Lion’s Mouth - @rustytricycle 

Don’t read if: you anticipate being “bumped off” or otherwise incapacitated before being able to finish this series. For example, do you work in organized crime? Has your boss recently made any remarks to you about “swimming with the fishes” or “pushing daisies”? Maybe just take it one step at a time and stick with one shots and drabbles until you are able to secure witness protection from the government. 🫥

line dividers by  @firefly-graphics and can be found here :) 

#fic recs #bucky barnes #ransom drysdale #lloyd hansen #Sierra six #steve rogers #andy barber #jake jensen #multi part fic #personally curated anti-recs #honestly like scared I didn’t make it sassy enough and ppl might not be able to tell if it’s a joke idk help

[pfenniged]

Also with all due respect but from having a grandfather who was also an intelligence officer in the Air Force and flew on D-Day all I could think when people were fighting in the POW camp to overthrow the German guards and Bucky is instead frantically looking for an American flag is my grandfather's voice on any show that overtly focused on American "ra-ra" patriotism and being like "OF COURSE- THE AMERICANS HAVE TO MAKE IT ALLLL ABOUT THEM"

#personal #PEOPLE ARE STILL FIGHTING BUCKY #I notice they threw in a few superfluous flags in the background for good measure #rip grandpa we were born on the same day and I get my same level of sassiness as you #but I digress #mota #masters of the air #spoilers

[itsagentromanoff]

Strange: The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.

Tony: [to Steve and Bucky] Strange majored in fortune cookies.

#original: veep #robert downey jr #chris evans #sebastian stan #benedict cumberbatch #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stephen strange #dr stephen strange #doctor strange #the avengers #sassy tony stark #stuckony #stony #winteriron #tony x bucky #tony x steve #non avengers quotes #quoting the avengers

[six-demon-bag]

he is my horrible son and i would die for him

#this is about love hate and clickbait #but lets be real #it goes for all my precious babygirls #i would protect him with my life #he is my precious little strawberry #love hate and clickbait #liz bowery #but also like every other ship #will graham #bucky barnes #zemo #ok its mostly zemo #helmut zemo #my sassy little war criminal #nbc hannibal

[feathersofvibranium]

y’all thought sam was sassy when he met bucky. just wait until bucky meets okoye.

#sam wilson #bucky barnes #okoye #why yes this is absolutely a #'marvel where's our marvel sitcom show' #give this to us right now post #and yes i know bucky and okoye kinda already was in a scene together in iw #still tho #marvel better give us some sitcom content #also more sambucky #also this is an okoye and her sass appreciation post #plus bucky already had to deal with ayo too #he can't ever escape the amazing sassiness of awesome black folks hah #mun babble

[ljlokijinx]

Spider-man coming to the Tower for the first time since the Rogues came back.

Steve: Are you okay?

Spider-man: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

Steve: Because your bleeding!

Spider-man: Oh yeah, that happens all the time.

Steve: It isn't a reassurance!

Spider-man: It isn't meant to, it's a threat. If you try to kill me like you did with Tony you'll faster walk to Australia than kill me.

Steve, crying: Oh yeah, the threat worked.

#avengers #avengers funny #avengers incorrect quotes #avengers incorrect scenarios #peter parker #spiderman #sassy peter parker #peter isn't steve friendly #not steve rogers friendly #steve rogers #why are you crying steve? #he refuses to get medical attention #he keeps glaring at me please bucky