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#satan obey me!

Satan Singing Christmas Songs part 1

CW for implied murder and weapons I guess

Just hear those chain saws, jingling ring-ting-tingling too

Come on, it’s lovely weather for a slaughter together with you~

Outside bodies are falling

And people are screaming, “Yoo hoo”

Come on, it’s lovely weather for a slaughter together with you~

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Warning: swearing and implied NSFW

Satan: Fuck you!

MC: At least take me to dinner first, jeez.

Satan: … *turns around to look at them* Why? Your cooking it better than any restaurant we’ll find down here.

MC: … *smiles like an idiot* Husband material.

I’m MC.

159 notes · See All


So I did a 10 pull, and didn’t get a rainbow. I was like “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK” and almost threw my phone, but on the screen it turned into a rainbow. That rainbow was this card.



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May I request some obey me Satan yandere? Headcanons or a small fic is fine.

//rubs hands

Oh boy, let’s do this, I was excited for this request since I got it, sorry it took a bit though, until I had an idea for what to write! Thank you for requesting!

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

Satan didn’t drink.

Well, he usually didn’t do it to a great extent like his brothers liked to indulge in it, because as everybody knows, alcohol and anger didn’t mix as good as a fruity cocktail did. And as it was, he embodied one of those ingredients - and not the tasteful one sadly. Sometimes he’d mix some alcohol with orange juice or drink straight just that, but when Mammon had handed him the full glass of Demonus, his will to keep his distance to the beverage had already disappeared.

And the reason was you. It was always you.

He didn’t need to ask for a refill after he emptied out his glass, as the little floating servants were glad to keep a new bottle near for the guests. But no matter how much he took from the glistening beverage, it was no use to calm his raging gut feeling.

To say the least, you looked stunning, absolutely marvelous. Even if you had worn a plastic bag to this gathering at Diavolo’s place, you’d still be a sight for sore eyes. But instead, you decided for the most eye-catching, shimmering garment you could find, sure to be a good accessory to the palace’s ballroom. This wasn’t exactly what drove him so mad, but it was a thought that kept bothering him relentlessly. Satan knew you were pretty, but that night, you just looked especially wonderous.

It might have been your clothes or the fact that you and Solomon were the only humans that evening, but you two were the tight-lipped captivators of many demons these nights. They surrounded you in masses, everyone wanted to get a good glimpse of you two special delicacies of the ball. Sometimes they wanted to ask you a question, but not for the answer, just to hear you speak up, and even if Solomon did most the talking, you weren’t shy with your smiles and nods towards everyone around you.

Gestures, that were only meant for him, how Satan found. Just like your laughs and objections to Solomon’s stories, those belonged to him too. He wasn’t jealous. If anything, he pitied the demons so desperate to get to know you. After all, he already had you. Satan was the demon you visited in the late hours to talk, and who you watched movies with. He was the one you had pillow-fights with and asked your curious question. He was everything to you, too, even if you never said anything about your relationship.

But neverminding this, he simply didn’t approve of you being shown off like an especially delicious bottle of Demonus. Did no one else notice the gazes of the demons? The hunger, the desire to eat you up? The only thing that did keep you alive was Lord Diavolo’s protection, which no one dared to breach just for the taste of a human. They were all perfectly fine with getting some humans for dinner on their own, but you two were looked upon as special because you had the time to ripen in the Devildom.

Satan also pitied you. He was done with his third glass already, and you were still not farther at being left alone, even if some fools had lost interest already. He’d never lose interest in you. Not in your words, and that mind of yours. The little gestures you did when nervous or exhausted, like the brushing through your hair, and the wringing of your pointer finger. You weren’t perfect, but at least in his eyes, you were everything he could desire. Even for a human, you were smart and witty, creative, and open-minded. A joy to be around and a joy to wake up next to in the morning. He never dared to wake you when you fell asleep against his shoulder after a reading session, but he loved to watch you until he fell asleep too.

Those were the pleasures they’d never have. No one but him would ever have them. Satan would have done everything to keep it this way, but the more he drank, the more his feelings nagged him. He could be angry about it. He should be even! Those demons were keeping you away from him, this party was taking up his share of time with you! He had all the right to be angry!

The cracking of his glass in his hand didn’t go unnoticed but ignored for the sake of the servants pouring more. Fuel to his anger really, anger he usually knew so well to keep buried in himself. Only when he held you in his arms was he truly calm, but at any other given moment, there was anger consuming him inside out. Only you would be able to stop him now, drunk and in love, raging from the feelings inside of him.

But so was the third bottle opened for him of Demonus, because it whispered beautiful little images into his mind, about how he’d shove anyone aside and escape to the garden, pull you through a portal into a world no one would find you in. Where only you two would be, unbothered by anyone.

At least for a moment, this idea calmed him, urged him to use the wasted brain cells of his to think about what he had to do. Looking around, he took in the decor of the palace, stylish pictures, mixed with horrid scenes of demon-lore. And more ideas sprouted from the chained chandelier, the gruesome decorated cutlery at the buffet made from bones, the accessories some of the guests liked to wear like their chokers and big, chunky rings on their fingers. Tattoos, brandishings, devotions of their beliefs and desires. More and more ideas rose in his head, delusions of you and what you could be.

That night, Satan learned that after all, he did mix well with alcohol.

Now, you just had to learn he didn’t mix well with the ideas it was giving him.

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sure!! sorry it’s not very angsty:(( also, we chose three brothers only since no one was specified uwu sorry for the long wait!

Around the middle of the year, Diavolo announced that there will be two new exchange students from Olympus: Dionysus and Medusa. Dionysus, being the God of drinking and parties, quickly made friends with Asmodeus while Medusa stuck with Simeon quite a lot.

Overall the pair seemed pretty normal, or at least what normal is in Devildom, but for some reason, Medusa always wore sunglasses indoors. One day, you and the seven brothers were walking down the hall and your eyes landed on a pair of sunglasses on the floor. You picked it up and examined it, then looked around the area to find the person who owned it. After a few moments, you spotted Medusa frantically pacing back and forth.

Assuming she was looking for her sunglasses, you approached her and tapped her shoulder, causing her to freeze. “Is this yours?” you asked. With her back facing you, she replied, “Are they sunglasses? If yes, then they are mine.” You, being the curious meddler you always were, were curious about why she always wore sunglasses. Indoors. Maybe her eyes were so beautiful that the Avatar of Lust would be jealous.

You gently grabbed her shoulder and forced her to face you. “Can I see your-“ Before you could even finish your sentence, your eyes met with her golden orbs. You were so mesmerized by them that you were frozen still and couldn’t move an inch. No, you were turned to stone.


Lucifer wasn’t one for fits of rage. After all, he believed was far more superior than Satan and would never stoop down to his level, but this time he just might. Nope, you cannot kill an exchange student. The exchange student didn’t mean to do it; It would be irrational to harm her. Lord Diavolo will be unhappy with you if you kill the exchange student.

Lucifer sighed and forced his brothers into their classrooms while taking particularly long with Mammon because he wouldn’t stop crying. He calmed himself and simply told Medusa to return to her classroom while he would handle this. He very carefully and quite easily picked you up in his arms and carried you up to Lord Diavolo’s office.

Now away from the prying eyes of students, he can break his calm facade and show his true emotions: Lucifer began to have a full-blown mental breakdown. Lord Diavolo laughed as he has never seen Lucifer this disheveled and simply told Lucifer to calm down. ”CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN?!?” Lucifer practically shouted at Diavolo before almost immediately apologizing for disrespecting him.

Lord Diavolo put his hand on Lucifer’s shoulder and explained that for centuries, a lot of humans would often sell their souls to demons because their loved one had been turned into stone, and they want them to be turned back. This being a lucrative business opportunity, Lord Diavolo and several other demons have created several methods of turning a human that has been turned to stone back to normal. Lord Diavolo then calls Barbatos on his DDD to come to his office. Barbatos enters and looks at you knowingly. He takes a look at Lucifer and uses all his willpower to stop himself from bursting into laughter as Lucifer looked like he aged a thousand years from the sheer stress of you being turned into stone. Barbatos quickly brought you out of the room as if this wasn’t the first time he’s done this while Lucifer could only watch you be carried out the door.

A couple of hours have passed since you’ve been taken away and Lucifer has been pacing back and forth this whole time. Around hour three, Lord Diavolo had to attend to business in the palace and so had to leave Lucifer alone with his thoughts. What if she isn’t okay? What if she stays like that forever? Fuck, do I even know how to function without her? His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door, which was opened by no other person than you.

He quickly stood up and walked towards you as if to hug you but just said: “Oh, you’re back, are you alright?” You poked his arm teasingly and said, “Yes, were you worried about me or something?” He quickly responded that he was confident in Lord Diavolo’s abilities and so he didn’t worry at all. He couldn’t admit that he, the Avatar of Pride, who is second in command of the whole Devildom that is feared by all, was so scared of losing you. You looked down and smiled because you knew he was lying. ”Your hair is messy,” you said with a rather smug look on your face. He blushed and looked away, straightening his tie while muttering something about not having enough time to get ready this morning.


“M-M-M-MC!” Mammon was the first one to react. Well, violently react. As soon as he saw the shocked expression plastered on your face with your whole body turned to stone, he screamed so loud that God probably heard him all the way from heaven.

He immediately rushed to your lifeless form and aggressively grabbed your stiff shoulders. He glared at Medusa for a split second before she darted off to someplace else as soon as she caught Mammon’s sharp glare on her. He then returned his attention to your figure, his look softening to that of a needy puppy’s. He cupped your face in his quivering hands and gazed at it, that frozen look on your face leaving a scar on his mind forever. Lucifer approached Mammon and told him to step away from you so that he can bring you to Diavolo, who will return you back to normal.

However, Mammon just furrows his brows at Lucifer and completely envelopes you in a tight embrace. “NO! MC stays with me! AND I WILL KILL THAT SNAKE-HAIRED BITC-“ He declared, but was cut off by Beelzebub forcefully grabbing him by the back of the collar and dragging him back up to his room. Beelzebub sets him down on the floor. Mammon, with his legs sprawled on the floor, crossed his arms and started sulking. Beel hummed in pity. “Don’t worry. Diavolo’s gonna bring her back, you know.” But, he received no response from his older brother.

He was silent—completely silent, which was an extremely unusual situation. The only thing on Mammon’s mind was you, who could end up staying dead, or returning, but who knows what could possibly happen? Right now, all he wanted to do was to reunite with you, feeling the warmth all over your body and hearing your sweet little insults that, secretly, brought music to his ears. He hugged his knees and buried his crying face in them.

Hours of endless sulking have passed, and Mammon finally decided to speak up. “Beel, what if she doesn’t return?” He questioned in a muffled, almost inaudible voice. Beel sighed in relief, knowing that Mammon will not stay dead silent forever. “I know she’ll come back, I feel it.” This response caused Mammon to relax his tense body a bit.

Suddenly, the door swung open, causing Mammon to perk up. He shoots up and hurriedly dashes towards you. He furrowed his brows and bent forward to meet you eye-level. You pushed the middle of his brows back up. “Don’t do that, you’ll get wrinkles.” He blushes and stands straight, placing his hands on his hips. “W-Well, I- Um- You’re back, I guess,” he muttered, trying to seem like he doesn’t care, but you were still able to hear the obvious relief in his tone. You giggled. “You know, even while I was frozen stiff, I was still able to see everything that happened around me-“ you started, gently grabbing his collar and bringing his face closer to yours until your noses were already touching. “-including everything you did and said that openly expressed concern for me.” Mammon widened his eyes, his bottom lip quivered a bit. He grabs your waist and pulls your body close to him, placing his head on top of yours to prevent you from seeing the tears that started rolling down his cheeks. “I…I thought I’d lose you for real… S-Stupid…”


”WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO-” When Satan saw your motionless form, he stayed true to the fact that he was the Avatar of Wrath and tried to kill Medusa. In fact, it took literally all six of his brothers in their full-demon forms to pin him down, which was rather shocking, as he was only the fourth most powerful.

Simeon came over due to the huge commotion and quickly escorted Medusa away from the blast zone of Satan’s rage. While Satan was trying to free himself and swearing that he will torture and end Medusa, Lucifer took out his DDD and called Diavolo. With Lucifer distracted, Satan was able to release himself from their grasp and got up. “WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO? I AM GOING TO-” Satan was quickly restrained again by Lucifer who told Satan to calm himself and that MC will be alright. DID YOU JUST ASK ME, THE GODDAMN AVATAR OF WRATH, TO CALM DOWN?

Although Lucifer’s words were meant to relax Satan, it only made him far more infuriated. Every sense of logic, rationale, and intelligence that Satan is known to possess just flew out the window. Barbatos arrived at the scene and hauled you away to an unknown location while Satan could only stare. Lucifer and Beelzebub dragged Satan to his room and locked him in while saying that Lord Diavolo will return MC to normal and that Satan will stay here until he calms down. Lucifer put a spell on the door quite similar to the one he used on Belphie’s door. Satan used all of his strength to try to get out but couldn’t, which of course, only made him angrier. He punched a hole through the wall.

It’s been five hours since you’ve been carried away by Barbatos and Satan is still as mad as he was earlier, or perhaps even more so. There are now approximately 31 holes in Satan’s wall, 4 ripped pillows and one destroyed book (which was an accident because he would never hurt a book intentionally). Satan was lying on his bed, still seething, staring up at his ceiling.

Scaphism? No. Electric Chair? Nope. Crucifixion? No. Brazen Bull? Perhaps. Medusa will be made into an example that if anyone dares hurt MC, consequences will not be lenient and- Satan’s thoughts were cut off by three knocks on his door. Satan got up and walked towards the door, irritated that he had to leave his thoughts on how he should torture Medusa. At the door, his thoughts were racing on who could it be. I swear if that is fucking Lucifer coming in to give me a lecture on making a scene, I am going to- the door opened and it was you.

You are holding a tray of tea-his favorite blend of black tea- because, on your way up to his room, you heard the breaking of plaster walls, so you decided to take a detour and make him some tea. When Satan saw you, he immediately calmed down and smiled at you. You entered his room and immediately saw the destruction and chuckled a little. You looked at him who is now as red as a beet. “Okay, so I may have uhm, gotten a little angry,” he says embarrassed and not looking into your eyes. You give him a peck on the cheek and pour him a cup of tea.

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I honestly forgot how many times I’ve posted about this. So now it’s going to just be titled “Why you should rename yourself into a pet name”

So here it goes! ITS A SERIES Y’ALL

Why you should rename yourself to a pet name:

S1 E1: Beef w/ Levi 😤

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Satan: *absolutely furious* Levi! That book was the only one of its kind! And its now covered in energy drink thanks to you and your fucking butter finger’s

Levi: Chill out its only a book!

Satan: Only a book?….ONLY A BOOK? *takes a deep breath and smiles* OK.. You’re right. Its only a book…How silly of me to overreact like that.. *walks off*

Later that day while Levi is out

Satan: *walks into Levi’s room holding a hacksaw, and sees his shelf of anime girl figurines, with fire in his eyes and an evil smile* Good afternoon, Ladies…

An hour later when Levi gets home

Satan: *from the living room* Hello Levi *sweet grin*

Levi: Hey. *walks off to his room*


Satan: *smiles to himself*


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(I thought it would be interesting if the brothers could sense when someone’s deliberately trying to contact/summon them via a Ouija board! If you couldn’t tell, I had too much fun writing this. And seeing as how afterl!fe will be ending in a month, I’d like to write for more fandoms to avoid the extinction of this blog!)

In which you find a Ouija board and decide to contact the demon brothers.

🍷 Lucifer 🍷

  • You probably caught him during one of those rare instances when he manages to catch a break. And even then it doesn’t feel like a break because someone’s bothering him. He’ll make an exception because it’s you, though.
  • Lucifer doesn’t bother using the board to spook you; he sees no reason for it. He’s really formal about the entire thing, answering your yes and no questions and spelling out simple words. Just enough to keep you happy. 
  • If you’re with a friend and you’re trying to scare them, he might find it in himself to entertain you. But Lucifer would have to be in an exceptional mood before he finds any amusement in the tricks of a Ouija board. 
  • You always manage to surprise him and he supposes this sort of spontaneity isn’t all that bad. As long as it isn’t coming from his brothers.
  • Lucifer will make conversation with you after he’s punished Mammon for begging for money through the board. Honestly, if it weren’t for you on the other end he might’ve snapped the board in half. 
  • The two of you vibe while Mammon struggles as he hangs like a rag doll. You feel bad for getting him in trouble on your behalf, but it’s not the end of the world. Besides, that’s what he gets for maxing out his credit card and having the audacity to beg for more money—and through a Ouija board of all things. 
  • You and Lucifer end up making plans through the Ouija board. The next time you come to the Devildom he’ll be ready to have tea with you, and if he ever visits the human world you’ll show him around. It’s a lovely conversation that has you eagerly awaiting your next trip to the Devildom. 
  • Lucifer advises you not to get too relaxed when using a Ouija board because you never know what could come out of one. One minute you could be talking to him and the next you’re inviting a demon with ill-intent into your home. It’s quite dangerous and Lucifer doesn’t want any harm to befall you. 
  • As long as you’re responsible and aren’t trying to stir up trouble, he doesn’t mind what you do. Although he can’t help but worry.
  • Next time you want to talk to Lucifer, you can always call. He wouldn’t ignore his precious human, so why don’t you make use of the technology you’ve got? 

Keep reading

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