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#satire

Having had 9 Months of a Conservative Labour Coalition Government, and considering how well they have worked alongside each other in what has been an ‘unprecedented’ and challenging year for British Politics, I would like to think that we will not bother to run the scheduled 2024 General Election. I mean really, what’s the point? We have seen over the past 9 months that an opposition works best when it fails to oppose, so it stands to reason that we should (as I have previously suggested) do away with the opposition element and move from a two party (with a third influencer to swing opinion and voting now and again - a la UKIP/Lib Dems) democracy to a unified one party political system.

Obviously we would need to replace the Red and Blue competitive Theatre that we are subjected to as the ramp up to an election builds, but we have options, the one party State could instead focus on its duals with Viruses, Terrorists, Conspiracy Theorists, Aliens and the general public, I think that these could easily replace prime minister’s questions and the piss weak scripted pre election debates that take place on the various corporate dissemination channels. Anyway, political activism has moved on from the days of rallys, door to door canvassing, and stuffing slips into boxes as a way of making your voice heard at a political level.

We all know that the most radical political act available to us as political actors these days is Direct Digital Action. There is no greater political power at one’s disposal today than the power to Unfollow, Unfriend or Delete another political actor. In one press of a button we can send a powerful message of 'NO’ to all who do not conform to our own Political Identity, an act so radical it sends ripples right across our hard drives to GCHQ, ensuring that we are no longer exposed to the toxic opinions of others, those opinions that have not been cross referenced and checked for their progressive righteousness, those that do not tick the boxes of the liberal intelligentsia, and ultimately those who foolishly do not engage in the game of Virtue Signaling one-upmanship. Forget the ballot box and just press delete for Fucks Sake. Couple that with One Party Politics at war with the public and I think we’re on to a right winner. Peace Love and Autonomy.

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Mr. Grumpy is one square looking guy. Everything has to be thought out in a nice symmetrical order.

Parking his square black car across the street from his ex-wife’s house, Lil Miss Sunshine, he sucks on a square cigarette before taking out his camera. He exhales grumpily thinking he should’ve let someone else take the case.

It’s not too long before he hears uncontrollable laughter erupt into the late afternoon air. Mr. Grumpy’s eyes slit into rectangles as orange tentacle-like arms wave into camera view.

Click. Shutter.

There was only one guy who could fit the profile….Mr. Tickles.

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Recounts: $10,000,000

Legal fees: $7,000,000

Booking and travel expenses: $1,500,000

The look on my supporters faces when they realize I’ve still got a hundred and eighty million dollars left in the bank on January 21st, 2021 and I’m no longer the president: priceless

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Mod Customer Services📺: this is YOUR last chance before I go into complete ultimate wolf, cat, dog, fox, kitsune hybrid/gang leader/eats ice cream without getting a brain freeze/has the power of all Kirby villains + Kirby himself/fought with star warriors on the better side of the war/won in a fight against galacta knight/strongest warrior in the universe/emo/listens to mcr/everyone simps for me/is the star rod/killed nightmare/long black hair that covers my secret scar over my eye/ has a white stripe in my hair/shoots u in the knees while u monologue about what you can turn into mode!

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If I ever meet mgg I’m gonna be like “hey, can I reccomend you some great pieces of writing to terrorize your castmates with?” And then link him to the hoop earring theory and AYHTDWA and whoreforhotch

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