#saving myself
rawritsnikky · 3 months ago
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innamorat4 · 7 months ago
You can't save somebody's life,
But oh God, how I tried.
Please come back, and tell me where I went wrong
So none of us would face our pain all alone.
I could see through it, and I still see it now,
Your amber eyes staring at the ground.
And everything was silent,
And everything still is.
But all I truly ever meant to
Was to make amends
Save everyone I came in touch
Because if I was their savior
Maybe I could save myself too.
Maybe I could save myself too,
And all this life around me and in me
Wouldn't go to waste,
Wouldn't have a rotten taste.
But I heard that people save themselves
And I had to leave you to fall fast,
To relapse or recover.
And you're still growing older.
I knew then that I am the one to save myself
So I took my savior complex, and a lot of hope
And became my own warrior,
I convinced myself
That all I am, all I see,
All this life around and inside me
It is all worth saving.
I am worth saving.
I am worth saving.
Lívia S. G.
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deepkriti · 7 months ago
When I was young I used to think I'll do something huge like saving the world some day. A pandemic and collapsing economies later I am desperately trying to just save whatever shred of myself I am left with.
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savemysoul-please · 2 months ago
Azért kezdtem el, mert meg akartalak menteni. Aztán ahogy telt az idő, azon kaptam magam, hogy azért csinálom, mert abban bízom, hogy te mentesz meg engem.
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grimmscythe · 9 months ago
Please be patient, I'm saving myself.
We already know we're destined to be.
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spvcecrvcker · 2 years ago
‘You found somebody to help you get over me and i got over you by finding myself. We are not the same.’
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comically-long-cape · 11 months ago
i listened to a podcast where wil wheaton the dnd guy talked about his chemical wellbeing. at some point he said something like, “i know my children—JUST THEM EXISTING!! is good enough for me! and my dad will never get those experiences with me, and it’s completely his loss.”
and my mom just never got to that experience with me, and it’s completely her loss. all the brilliance that is me, she will never get to say she experienced it.
there are people, where, just me existing is good enough. and i don’t have to look back.
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lifeina1000words · a year ago
“I'm still standing 'cause I won't forget, the hell on earth you put me through. I'll save myself in spite of you”
- White flag, Bishop Briggs
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qualifiedaquarian · a year ago
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creatingnikki · 2 years ago
I can’t stop asking questions, even though I know no answer will come. Your silence is very consistent and all too ironic - where was this consistency in your love?
Oops, stupid me, like always there I go letting my emotions make assumptions for yours, It was no love - just relieve, convenience and entertainment. 
I would never mind being your solace, Helping you through things that were too hard for you to bear alone. 
But you saw me as a child, ironic again for you didn’t see me as one when you wanted me in your bed. Your inconsistencies I won’t blame on myself, however the failure to recognize them, yes, it stings me. 
‘Life is too short to be little’, they say Better despise and then forget, they say
Forgetting would mean forgiving, they taught me  And we both know all too well, if I forgave you, I’d come right back when your lying mouth says, ‘I love you’. 
So, no, I can’t forgive and I can’t forget, Let them think of me as stupid or weak, Pathetic and even pretty. 
But this time I know - When shit gets real, only I will be there to save myself. So, I will protect myself the way I see best even if it laces my existence in sadness. 
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viansasane · a year ago
Theres a part of me who is still fighting and hasn’t given up on me, who tells me that I AM WORTH IT and shouldn’t indulge in self destructive activities and habits and honestly I’m gonna continue living for that little me
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awkwardpetunia · 2 years ago
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justtryingtosurvive1519 · a year ago
I’m drowning
It feels like the more I fight the more I am pushed under
I am sinking into the depression
Letting it consume everything
Letting the water fill my lungs
I’m gasping
Crying out for help
No one will help
No matter how loud I get myself to scream
They won’t notice till their burring my water soaked body deep in the group
Standing around telling their lies of who I was
Saying they wish they had known
“If i had known, I could have saved her”
But here I am begging for help
While you push me further under the wave
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giantladywithtitsicles · a year ago
Premarital affection? No thanks, I’m saving my uwus for a special someone
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lightupstarslightuphearts · 2 years ago
These last few months have been hard. It was a few of my friends' birthdays, two of my friends were in inpatient, I had an almost s**c*d* attempt. I got more ear piercings. I started dating a girl and then we broke up and then we got back together. I stared texting my ex-best friend who I almost dated. I self harmed for the first time. I wore pajama pants to school. I had a sleepover and it went okay. I kissed a girl. I rediscovered Scooby-Doo.
A lot of shitty stuff happened, but there's some good stuff in there, too.
The other thing that happened was that I started shoplifting.
The very first thing I lifted was a constellation ring from the mall. That day, I lifted about eighty dollars worth of stuff. Thongs and bras and shirts and jewelry.
I made myself a promise: only corperations; big companies. I broke that promise.
I lifted crystals and some earrings and a bunch of stickers from small businesses. I felt... Really shitty.
I stole a cookie and a chapstick from thr store by my school, and one day during lunch I stole makeup and a bra.
Yesterday I went shopping with my best friend and stole a whole fucking dress and jewelry I'll never wear. I almost stole a pair of shoes but the alarm went off so I set them down and kept walking.
That shook me, and I did a heck ton of research on lifting. I learned how different types of security precautions work. I learned what stores had cameras that were watching. And I tunneled.
But the next day, today, I went shopping again. I wasn't even planning on it, but I did... And I stole stuff. Of course.
At this point, I've stolen about three hundred and fifty dollars worth of stuff. That's more money than I get for Christmas and my birthday.
I'm supposed to go shopping with my friend tomorrow. I'm going to wear a hoodie with no pockets and a tiny purse so I CAN'T steal stuff easily. I don't know if I'll succeed, but I'm going to try not to. We might just stay for half an hour, unless I'm feeling okay with shopping for longer. If I do, I'm going to look for boots. To buy! I'm going to buy them. I feel really, really proud that I have that plan.
I tried to talk to my friends today, and I just... I felt so lost. I was so sad for so long and then all of a sudden, I could have FREE stuff? It hooked me. And they didn't get that.
But... I don't want to fuck up my future. There's so many things I want to do and if I make mistakes now.... I could get in the way of future me's happiness and wellbeing.
I want to get a job and save my money and visit my best friend in Germany and travel around Europe.
I want to grow my hair out and then get an undercut.
I want to wear high heels. Even though I'm tall.
I want to get a tattoo sleeve.
I want to get a two kittens and name them Spaghetti and Florence.
I want to be a maid of honor at a wedding.
I want to have my own wedding.
I want to go to college and study to be a nurse, or even a doctor.
I want to adopt children.
There are so many things I want to do. Right now, looking into the future feels a bit overwhelming. I'm going to focus on getting some sleep, and tomorrow, I'm going to focus on something. Maybe how I wish my bedroom could look or all he hairstyles I ever want to try or names for cats. I'm going to be okay. I may lift tomorrow. I may always have the urge to lift. But I'm going to fight for my future.
A mess of a girl who is going to be okay.
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illseeyouinthestars · 2 years ago
"Well which of them do you choose?"
I paused and thought for a second.
"I think I choose myself."
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epictitanium · 2 years ago
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lying to myself, I am barely able to gather enough strength to say you don’t matter, but inside, I know you do
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astraeainvade · 2 years ago
“Saving Myself” (demo)
Blue Crush
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everythingliar · 3 years ago
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[4-panel comic. May 3, 2019. Panel 1: To save myself, I watch tv. Panel 2: I start a blog.  Panel 3: I order a pizza. Panel 4: I leave, but I come back.]
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purplefire250 · 2 years ago
Saving Myself
Being weak does not mean done
Even when I’m crawling on hands and knees
I can still move forward without having to run.
And I may never be enough to be a pharaoh
Though do not turn your back on me
Because you don't need to be a hero 
In order to save yourself.
So tell me, “No ones coming to save you now.”
I will reply, “Then I will have to save myself.”
- R.M.
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