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#saw this image in my head and couldnt NOT draw it
succikko-draws · 2 months
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esims For Gaza
Help Gaza children
Palestinian Children Relief Fund
care for gaza
[Image ID: A digital drawing of a Palestinian man hugging and reassuring and a little girl, both are bloodied and crying. Both are wearing kufiyya and are surrounded by blooming poppies. Over them is written "Free palestine" and under them "Ceasefire now". The main color palette is red, black white and green, with brown added for the skin and hair. /.End ID]
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coffee-bat · 10 months
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bar therapy session [one sided]
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punkitt-is-here · 1 year
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Hey, I saw a post claiming you ship AJ and Pinkie together despite that they’re related I guess? It would be nice if you could clear that up if it’s just a misunderstanding.
HKGLSJFHJLHGHJKFHKGS OKAY SO THATS REALLY FUNNY.
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it was for a post where i made a joke about the crew round robin dating before twilight showed up AND if you'll notice: it is not colored. i color nearly all of my horse drawings before i send them out. this was because i had 15 minutes to get this made before i had an event i couldnt miss but i wanted to get the idea out, so I doodled it up real quick. the characters are also fucking copypasted
So the reason is ONE i wanted fluttershy and rainbow to be next to each other and i ALSO wanted to have AJ and RD next to each other and then since i literally had, once again, 15 minutes, i didnt think about putting pinkie and rarity in the positions they were.
reason 2: i forgor. the moral of that episode was that it didnt matter if they were related by blood, AJ accepts pinkie all the same. so i just assumed in my head it didnt matter and they werent related, and even if its some great great x45 grandfather relation that would be a cousin so far removed it wouldnt even matter. when i made this image i completely forgot it was ambiguous if they were related or not and i had forgot the episode existed by the time i posted it. oops oh well!
3. that post probably got made because people on twitter are mad at me and looking for other reasons to justify it aside from me supporting just being chill with queer identity. i dont know how you could extrapolate that im some sort of incest-crazy pinkie/applejack shipper when i haven't really ever drawn ship content of them (or anyone) in the first place, and especially since round robin format works by everyone competing against everyone so literally it would be all of the 5 before twilight shows up. its silly. its silly!!! i literally meant ntohing of it bc i made it quick and im a dummy and forgot about one of the 80+ episodes that id watched up to that point.
i literally have a sibling who's awesome and i love and the idea of incest SERIOUSLY squicks me out so its fucking wild that someone would even suggest im some sort of proshipper incest artist or whatever. i can guarantee its just people deliberately looking for ways to make them more uncomfortable with me so they can justify what they're doing more. i think its very bizarre!
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exocynraku · 1 year
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would you mind sharing how you go about drawing the anatomy (body/legs/tail in relation to head) of a cat? its like the main thing i struggle with that i cant seem to find all too many tutorials for. apologies if youve answered something similar you just draw really good cat bodies & poses
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i have NO idea how to put my thought process into words but i do have this image which has helped me very much (its a pic of a cat i saw here on tumblr that i just drew lines over) and also one simple rule that ive been trying to follow lately: the cats head (w/o ears) should be able to fit into the cats chest area and if it does not your head is too big
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heres an example i drew quickly !! i also want to say that this is if you want your cats to be relatively anatomically correct (or at least how my brain says it should be) if your style says otherwise that is OK!!!!!!!!!!! do whatever you want idc . i also do break this rule and make heads too big occasionally (usually on kits cuz its funny looking) head size compared to tail doesnt really matter (to me) tails are very silly fun to draw and i like to have fun with it and leg size i usually base off of whether or not i think this cat would be able to stand up (ex: i wouldnt give a cat like the one at the bottom on the pic above skinny thin tall legs their legs would be chubbier and thicker) i also often draw necks too thin because well thats just how i draw them which doesnt matter too much the only rule with that i put in place for myself is the body has to be at least a LITTLE thicker than the neck er i dont think i have anything else to say the only other thing i think i could give you is breaking down the different body parts (like i did on the first image) for some of my designs which could maybe help ? if you want that then just send an ask! actually with that breaking down different body parts if you want to learn good anatomy id reccomened just finding images of cats online (preferably ones with different body types & simple poses) and then segmenting off their body parts like i did in the first pic it helped me alot when i used to reference images (now most of my poses just come from my head) because then i had a structure to draw off of (think of how some people draw human bodies with boxes and circles and triangles) ok im done for realsies now sorry i couldnt helpp too much im bad at explaining my though processes lawl
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your post about fair use is entirely incorrect; fair use is intended to protect those doing reviews, critique, parody, and analysis of other pieces of media. it does not mean “i found this online so i’m allowed to use it however i want”. do some actual research into copyright law before spreading lies to support literal art theft
let me ask you something about art theft.
i have a lovely collage that was made by a friend for me. its a collection of magazine cutouts mostly. none of the images in it were drawn by a human hand; they were created by printing presses reproducing a pattern. there are likely a thousand copies of any of those images available to anyone willing to look for them.
is it stolen art?
now a different question. say i input a command for an ai to generate an image. when i input those commands, it is going to attempt to generate a unique image by collating its data from a large set of other images, and its going to place and color pixels based on its statistical modeling of the concepts contained in my prompt. it is, on a conceptual, essentially a computer-generated collage. none of the pixels were placed by human hands, no, but they were placed based on parameters set by me using statistical models that already exist.
is this stolen art?
another question. i learned to draw by copying art that i saw. mostly comic books and animation. i actually spent about a year where most of the drawing i was doing was done by first tracing over a screenshot of BTAS or a stock image, and then redrawing it without tracing, usually a few times. it allowed me to create models in my head of how human bodies move, look, and act. now, when i draw things, how they look is very much influenced by the art that i studied and trained myself on. in fact, sometimes i still reference images when im drawing, and in fact i often use screenshots of shows i like. the other day i did a whole series of thumbnails that were all based on magic the gathering card art.
am i stealing art?
you may think my questions pedantic, but i think theyre important. these ai image generators arent doing anything a human couldnt do. they just do it faster, because they are computers, and computers are made to do things that humans can do but faster.
so why is it considered art theft? is it art theft because they arent fully original images, but cobbled together based on a database? is it art theft because they are referencing other images? is it art theft because the people using them didnt have to devote hours holding a pencil to make them?
i do not think that ai generated images are any more "art theft" than any other sort of image. obviously they can be used for art theft--copying someones work and changing a few things around is kind of a dick move. but thats not inherent to ai art. just as easily as i could copy an artists style with an ai, i could trace over a piece of art or a photograph and try to pass it off as my original work. in fact, because of my particular skillset, it would probably be easier for me to do that than to try and wrestle with an ai prompt for hours trying to produce a decent looking image.
next time you accuse someone of art theft, ask yourself something. are they actually trying to pass off another artists work as their own? are they making money off of the image? are they trying to copyright the image? are they actually doing anything that a very determined human couldnt accomplish on their own?
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rainecloud020604 · 1 year
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Can you tell me about Karma I saw you uploading images to (??? pronouns??) toyhouse and I'm very curious
you cant see me shaking with excitement and also i let this sit for a few days cause i havent touched my laptop since thursday SDFHKHFKJWFHDSJ anyways this is about to be a lot you asked for it
Anyways <333 Karma my beloved (pronouns, he/him doesnt care about gender and is probably agender thinking about it) hes another one of my comfort characters who every once in a while i will just draw and draw and draw, I also have drawn a few comics with him which I'm kinda surprised that I have done more than one dfhskjFDHSKJ but nevertheless hes fun to draw and like also one of my many greyscale ocs cause if you cant tell i really like those Hes a god, of what? Balance and Revenge. He doesn't like being a god, its so much responsibility and also the way people will treat him for being so powerful isn't ideal to him. he prefers to play amongst mortals and interact with them, pretend to be one and blend in with them even because he just really hates being a god :( Also he is Jardins twin and Universos uncle
He is an old god, which makes the pressure he feels significantly worse as he has seen so much change and dissolve, build and be destroyed. Including the godly realm he is from, most of the people that worshiped their gods ended up just...stopping, stopping or were wiped out and this made a good portion of the gods from their realm forget what they were, several reincarnated themselves out of boredom (A rather common practice in fact, Karma is an older god due to only doing so once) and it ended up falling into chaos, and as well as several mortal faults at some point some order was established but it had fallen to severe corruption, someone did rise to power several times once this weird system was established, the one that had the most power was supposed to be in charge and head of things, every once and a while it would cycle on who was there/old enough
Karma is a rather powerful god, never took as head cause he believed the entire thing was stupid but after a while with Vida became in power he reluctantly agreed to take a position as like his right hand man, only because he his brother and a handful of others were plotting something to help everyone realize and remember what they were and get things back to normal and not this fucked up mess of things and upon taking this position it led to a lot of abuse that Karma just, tolerated and didnt argue or fight against at all because he really couldnt risk it with how close he had gotten to get this plan executed and have this all be over.
Karma used to have a wife when he was younger, she was the goddess of winter and also suicide, which should hint to one thing that happens next, she didnt warn Karma at all, hell she didnt expect him to be there to witness it either but he was, Inverno was no longer there and Karma was alone in the woods with more than a broken heart and grief to carry, is he over it? no no he isnt but hes getting there slowly
He has a fear of sewing needles due to Vida, as well as most of his will to fight back against being abused was burned out, as if enough wasnt killed by his abusive father who favored him over his brother and wasnt shy about it and led to Karma trying everything to get him to hate him. It didn't work at all which led to frustration but he no longer is able to be near his father or think about him for too long without getting upset or stressed out. Other than his father using him like a tool to just brag about, Vida treated Karma like a puppet and would literally have strings attached to him only he could see and feel,which sucked for karma. But he let Vida do it just to get close enough for thousands of years to one day kill him, which he finally was able to do.
He adopted a baby angel named Winter who he will protect with everything in his being, shes a delightful child who he rescued from being kidnapped and she is a handful but makes his day brighter, he takes care of Winter and roams the mortal realm just getting to know mortals and befriending them as well as enjoying what small things there are there and the mortal realm has to offer him, he likes dresses and the color yellow which i associate with him, he also plays the guitar and violin <3
there is so much more but i will stop here SDHFKJWHFJHDFSKJ
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moss-sprouted · 2 years
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deviantart and "lets make fun of teenagers art on tumblr" blogs fucked me up
i went from not caring too much of what my art looked like and having fun and Improving that way, to now i have a hard time drawing anything at all cause it has to look perfect and be original
i feel bad using references, i feel horrible when it trace to practice, hell i feel horrible even when a reference image is totally free use or a person who posts poses says i Can trace i still have this horrible icky feeling if i just do a like, stick figure over it to get the proportions and shape
when everything i read now as an adult says tracing and copying is not bad as long as you arent like, claiming things as your own and using stuff that you own or that allows you to do so
but i still feel this horrible feeling about it, when i used to use bases literally made from people tracing official monster high art and mlp art but i got accused of tracing Once when i didnt, because i used a base that someone else used to draw my own character and i also drew my character on that base
and i used to have my ocs put on tumblrs for being bad and even art my little sister made when she was just playing around and didnt have any art skill, and like i was 12-15 at the time, and got roasted constantly for no reason besides that i was learning and trying and even when id start to make art without bases that got shit on so i just, stopped trying
and the constructive criticism of "hey try png instead of jpeg" or "try to make the calves thicker" never bothered me but literally stuff like "this is awful and this idea is stupid" that i saw so much just totally ruined me and art feels so hard now, i feel like i cant do it and feel like i dont have ideas i can put on paper because i cant visualize in my head when i used to be able to draw whatever i wanted even without bases and i still couldnt visualize in my head i just
feel such a mental block,ive always found it easier to draw things for other people because then it was their design and no one could make fun of me for it,not because id let them make fun of my friends but because i still doubt my ability so much that i feel like nothing original i make is good enough and being able to bounce off of stuff that already exists is easier but i can only do that in like, a safe way that doesnt feel just
like a horrible bad thing, and fuck fanart actually exists but my brain still feels horrible at the idea of someone accusing me of tracing or copying or stealing because ive always been good at copying things and i wouldnt, be Trying to do that but i worry itd happen anyway so its bad to look at any references or anyone elses take on an art
im in like, art hell i think
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hrhoffman · 1 year
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Dude I joke about how I have such GREAT fuckin ideas but im not skilled enough to bring them to life but im seriously about to teach myself how to draw JUST to make an animatic of Tangled’s I Got a Dream with Dead by Daylight characters
The more I watch, the better things come together in my head
BOOM the first fucking shot is a hatchet getting thrown at some nerd who starts playing the accordion
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poor bastard is chained there, what a pathetic man. clearly it’s gonna be Dwight
then we cut to
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who the fuck do you think its gonna be. take a wild fucking guess. Ace mcfuckin Visconti
we cut back to the hatchet thrower. Again, I wonder who that’s gonna be. I know Huntress doesn’t have a hook for a hand but shhhhhh
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I have no idea who Rapunzel would be by the way like I have everyone else nailed but I cant pick her. My best contender is Kate, mainly because she’s like the singer, she could carry her guitar instead of the frying pan, and the main theme of the song is about dreams and hopes and I’ve always considered Kate to be the most hopeful one but anyways
Huntress plays the piano, we get some general shots of the bar
OH SHIT the rats are definitely crows like for sure, maybe Pascal is Maurice or a vulture from Dead Dawg? Idk there aren’t a lot of animals to choose from
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And then we have the next thug,
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A hideously deformed man looking for love. Hillbilly. It has to be. But that’s not even the best part because then we get this shot:
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And it’s like, okay whose gonna fill in the role of the drunk cupid?
May I present fucked up looking Victor holding an umbrella
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Then we get to see Victor getting flown across the room
And here comes the barrage of different dreams here we go
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First guy wants to be a florist BOOM Blight easy next
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Interior design. Trickster.
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Do I even have to say anything. Clown.
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This guy bakes. Bubba.
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Guy on the left sews, guy on the right knits. I went back and forth a lot on this one but I think Doctor and Nurse could fit here. Also the mental image of Nurse knitting a scarf while Doc fixes a huge gash on her arm is really funny to me. TBH I think u could argue that the roles could even be switched and it would still fit.
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Next guy does puppet shows and when I first saw it I was stumped until I checked the killer roster and imagined Pig holding up the Billy doll
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The last one is mostly based on looks cause this guy is massive so all I could think about was Oni.
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cue the Ace scene
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when he takes the unicorn Oni would def enter rage mode
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maybe Gothel is the Entity? couldnt really get a good fit for her
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I FORGOT ABOUT THE GOAT this is def Maurice
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This guy that blows fire is Plague vomiting
That’s about it all the other killers would be in the background shots but GOD I can’t draw
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creitive · 4 years
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smug smile duo // partners in crime
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purelars · 4 years
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Surprise attack kiss, followed by revenge kiss!
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tiens-letters · 3 years
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upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past
zhongli (angst)
@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe
Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.
Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.
Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.
It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.
He felt exhausted. Desultory even.
Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.
Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.
The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.
You.
He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.
Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.
"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.
"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.
"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his
"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him
"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.
After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.
"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him
"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."
"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him
"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"
"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.
"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.
"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.
"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"
"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him
"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."
However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.
"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze
"Thats better."
He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.
Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.
Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.
He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.
Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening
" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of
" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."
"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white
You slapped him.
With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.
"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them
"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips
"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."
To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.
But of course, all things are evanescent.
The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.
"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.
He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.
Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."
To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.
Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.
He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.
The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.
The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.
It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.
"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant
"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."
Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe
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nestable · 3 years
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BRING IT ON HOME NESSIAN ONESHOT
Bring it on Home to me by Sam Cooke is on of my favorite songs in the word and I highly recommend you go have a listen if you havent heard it, I promise you wont regret it. I was listening to it the other day and instantly thought of how these lyrics resonated with nessian, cassian more especially and couldn't resist writing this fic. Just a little soft, SFW, domestic Nessian. 🥺😭
"Nes." Cassian groaned as he rolled closer to her side of the bed. "Nesta?"
After being met with stark silence, Cassian outstretched his hand only for it to collapse onto cold sheets.
No Nesta, he realized with a start.
Though he and his Nesta have been mated for some months now, all of which have been without an incident, he can't help but worry.
Each night he reassures himself with the knowledge of their bond, the heat of her body pressed against his own, the words of love and loyalty she ensures he hears everyday, that she is safe and finally happy.
Not miserable and balancing on the cusp of oblivion where he found her last year. Juggling between drowning her sorrows and indulging in sub-par sex just to feel something, just to deny the connection they share because she felt that she wasnt worthy of him. No, that was all over now, but he can't help when the memories resurface.
The memory of Nesta writhing and arched in her bed as silver flames wreathed her body like a shroud. The screams of pain and anguish that left her lips only to be swallowed by starless night and Deaths flames. How the very mountain trembled beneath their feet, bracing itself for the potential explotion that Cassian could sense building up. Somehow he knew that Velaris would've been crumpled to dust that night and become a fond memory. He felt it in his gut. Just the same way he felt her night terrors take hold of her for her powers to bask in centre stage. And in the same breath, he also felt that he could stop it. Whether that was pure male arrogance or the suspicion of the bond that lay between them, that was yet to be found. And it was...the moment her powers seized in intensity when he said her name. Once, twice, just enough for Rhys to gain control and save them all.
No, he would never forget that and he'd be damned if it were to happen again and catch him in a helpless position as the first time he witnessed the extent of her power. A power that mostly returned back to the Cauldron, only to be replaced by 3 Dread troves and the Mothers favour. A different sort of threat perhaps. One sweeter, kinder, even benign from what he's witnessed.
Nesta barely speaks about the power the same way she did with her Cauldron gifts. She reassures him that these were different, these she understands and smiled every time he enquired about her connection with the Mother. He wishes to know more, his body yearns for it, but his mate has always loved surprises.
Cassian threw on a pair of his undershorts before leaving his and Nestas new room. Though the House of Wind has become their shared abode, its ill advised to walk around naked with the possibility of Azriel becoming an unwilling spectator with his prowling around the halls in the dead of night like he's been doing for the past year.
Cassian loves his brother, sometimes more than kin normally do, he believes sometimes, but he'll never forgive him for that night he ruined his birthday night when he walked in on Nesta modelling her new negligee in the library. He's never jumped from one intense emotion to another so quickly. Blinded by the red lace of her silk garments only to see red of a different kind when the blue of Azriels siphon opened the door.
The territorial male part of him nearly took over that night and he was inclined to let it ride him had Nesta not winnowed them to their room and pushed him onto the bed. The anger, the curiosity he had as to how Nesta was able to winnow around the House when no one else could were obscured then turned insignificant by the view of Nesta sitting astride on his thighs.
Cassian followed the music swimming through the hall which brought him to a new lounge area that didn't present itself in the centuries that he's been living here until Nesta inherited the place.
Many new things have made their presence known and sprung to life since Nestas made the House her home. Hidden rooms have materialized, troves have opened and a gorgeous garden has flourished on the top of the mountain. As if in preparation of someone, or little someone's who might need it.
Cassian isn't blind to the fact that the House makes things available according to Nestas hopes, dreams and wishes. All of which make Cassian excited for the future and a forever with his mate even more.
Nesta was leaning against the cream white wall that she and Cassian painted just last night, holding an A2 canvas painting in both hands. He couldn't decipher her facial expression or read some of the wild thoughts that were evidently bouncing around her head as Nesta was inclined to raising her mental walls to him when she was stressed. He'd once asked why and she told him that she didnt want to plague him with her problems. Didnt want to bother him. Little did she know that Cassian was built for her, problems and all. Nothing about Nesta could bother him. Not even the parts that bothered her.
"Hi." He whispered which startled Nesta before she composed herself. For her to be so drawn into her thoughts that she didnt notice him approaching, instantly put him on edge him.
"Hi." She said, plastering a lazy smile onto her face.
Cassian took that as an invitation to enter. His eyes swept across the room, taking in the organized clutter. From the closed boxes filling the lounge, the half hung snow white gossamer curtains blowing in from the open balcony, to the slightly dusty white marble tiles that were installed just last week.
Cassian was a bit skeptical when Nesta told him of her plans to decorate this room in all white. White cushions, white couches, white walls, white flower arrangements, white chandeliers and white fur carpets felt like a fever dream to Cassian, but now that it's all coming to life, he can see the vision of beauty that Nesta had in mind. A vision not only limited to this lounge but the entire House of Wind that Nesta will decorate herself with the input of the House itself to revitalize the place. All of which will be paid for by Rhys.
How the Cauldron matched him to such a female, not mere female but god, he'll never know. All he can do is be grateful and work to be worthy and deserve the gift to draw breath in her presence.
Now that Nestas accepted her Human emissary role and is the courts newly appointed courtier, she's recieving the same fat salary like the rest of the IC, but Cassian doubts that Rhysand will ever let Nesta access her funds because he insists on paying for everything for her. Which goes to show that Rhys' gratitude for Nesta runs very far. Or guilt, or both.
What Nesta did for Feyre, Nyx and Rhys was something that couldnt be described with words. She saved their lives and in doing so the entire court. Rhys failed to tell his family about him and Feyres decision and never left a plan of action to follow after his death. Had he died, the role of High Lord could've fallen to anyone. Probably Keir or one of Mors detestable brothers because they are Rhys closest male blood relatives. What they would've done to Velaris, done to the entire court....Cassian seldom contemplates that. Nestas sacrifice and mercy saved them all and in doing so, opened herself to a higher form of being that is yet to be seen.
"What are you doing up so late?"
"I had a lot on my mind. I couldn't sleep so I decided to come and get this room in order." She explained, flipping her golden brown hair over her shoulder.
"What's been on your mind?" Cassian asked casually, taking a step closer.
He'd have embraced her and held her against his chest if it weren't for the massive painting in her hands. A painting that he can feel is the source of all her trepidation.
Nesta bit her lip before turning the canvas toward him and placing it in his hands. "Feyre finally finished that and it was delivered yesterday afternoon. I was too afraid to open it then- but I figured that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw it."
At first glance, anyone would assume that the muse was Nesta. From the steel eyes to the clear skin and poise in the pose. But upon further inspection, the age of the woman, the beauty spot beneath her right eye and slight darker tresses reveals the truth.
"This is your mother..." Cassian said lowly. The weight of the image, not the canvas itself but the obvious memories, pain and loss the painting held settled on him.
"Was." She uttered a bit sharply. Her throat bobbing up and down.
Cassians eyes darted between Nesta and the painting. Surprise and admiration pouring into him in droves. Her sisters did mention more than once that Nesta is their mothers spitting image, but this...it was as though the same person had been born twice.
"You stole her whole face." He chuckled, bringing a sweet curve to Nestas lip.
"I know...I know." She shrugged.
Cassian lay the painting carefully against the wall then wrapped his arms around his mates shoulders. Her own found their home around his waist as she rested her chin atop his chest so that their eyes could meet.
If it were a few months ago, a year, she would've furiously blinked away the tears that have settled in her eyes, or rejected their proximity entirely. Only to retain a semblance of control that shes strived so hard to maintain. But now shes opened herself to him entirely. Made him a part of both her happiness and pain, loss and gain, victories and failure. Just as their mating vows ordered.
"Talk to me." He whispered, dragging his fingers through her hair.
"I- I just...I know that my mother was not the best of mothers, nor did she love us in the ways that a mother should but....but that doesn't make me love her any less. She might've trained me instead of raised me, saw me as a ticket to wealth and leisure or lived vicariously through me but she was still my mother." Her tears fell down her cheeks as if a damn had been broken. "There were good moments as well as bad and I'm not going to pretend that she was never loving or good to me. Elain and Feyre might've forgotten her, but I can't... I wont."
Cassian lowered his head to press soft kisses to her cheeks where her tears left stains. "I know." He murmured. "You dont share the same memories as Elain and Feyre, it's only natural that you saw her much differently and remember her in a better light than they do." He rubbed feather light circles on the back of her neck in an attempt to assuage her from her pain.
"It broke my heart when I walked through Feyres house that day and didn't see a piece of myself or her. It felt like I was being erased, forgotten. Now I've found my place in that hall but she hasn't. I couldn't allow that to happen. I couldn't let her be erased just like that."
"And she wont be, not if you will it. I'll remember her with you." Cassians lips found Nestas and before they knew it, the couple found themselves descending into a deep kiss that only a mating bond could conjure.
"You know that's one of the reasons I love you?" He stated, to which Nesta replied with a raised brow. "Your compassion, your massive heart, your loyalty... these are all qualities that you motivate me to pursue everyday. You've kept your soft side hidden for a long time and now we're starting to see it." She smiled. By far the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. "That sweet love. Just bring it on home to me."
A giggle was shared between them as soon as the words left his mouth. The lyrics of a song, their song, that came on the day of their mating ceremony that they had on repeat for 2 hours straight. Cassian had never heard a song that spoke to him and his experience with love the way that one did. One that Nesta knew would speak to his very marrow and chose not to warn him in advance, only to see his reaction.
"You're insufferable." She said, only to hug him tighter and lay her head on his chest.
"Well then you're going to have to get used to it, Nes. We only have forever left together."
Just when Cassian expected Nesta to respond, the soft melody of a piano begun in the corner of the room from Nesta symphoniam, followed by the ever true lyrics that might've been written for them, that might as well have been their wedding and mating vows.
If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leaving me behind
Baby, bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
Nesta begun the dance. Cassian followed with no hesitation. Though it was a far cry from the pulsating waltz they'd done in Hewn city or other court events thereafter. It was far more intimate, passionate. Just a sway of the hips and foot movements that reforged and strengthened the golden bond that surged through them on Winter Solstice and polished it to a shimmer. Their bond was not a mere tether, not a chain. It was a rainbow. Shimmering through storms and sunny days. It didnt only make its presence known or surge when they were in the throes of passion, it became more sentient when they were upset with each other. It was the musical and colourful road that led mate back to mate. Self back to self.
I know I laughed when you left
But now I know I only hurt myself
Baby, bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
His heart cracked at the words and the truth they carry. The memories when they were so at odds with each other that they could barely be in the same room longer than necessary. The nights when he thought the immense sadness and grief at the prospect of losing her entirely would drown him and suffocate him. When he wished that he could rip his heart out of his chest only to get a reprieve from his anguish. Anguish he attempted to expunge with throwing himself into work and training only to realize that the further they moved from one another, the further they moved from themselves.
As if Nesta could hear and feel those memories, she held onto him tighter. This female, his tether to reality, his anchor, the tree that was able to weather a thunderstorm that left the land decimated only to come back and continue to grow with fruits and flowers on display for all to see.
I'll give you jewellery and money, too
That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do for you
Oh, if you bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
Cassian knew that from the moment he met Nesta, there was nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for her. Nothing too out of reach that if she should request, he would give. He was already hers in mind, body and soul. Their bond might've snapped into being after she emerged from the cauldeon, but the draw he felt toward her was infinite. Like their souls were made from the same essence but placed on earth in different time periods so that they know life without the other, to appreciate being together more.
You know I'll always be your slave
'Til I'm buried, buried in my grave
Oh honey, bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
Cassian held up Nestas hand so that he may look upon the wedding and mating band. She requested that she have both and went to the best jeweler in Velaris to fuse both choices so that they sit as one on her finger. Both were made of rose gold, the slimmer wedding ring was imbued with three tanzanite diamonds and the larger mating band sports just one giant diamond that would need it's own security team. Cassian knew his mate loved nice things and made him pay a pretty penny to get it. He'd do again if only to see the stars that twinkled in her eyes when they chose the bands at the jeweler.
He looked at his own jeweled finger. A simple silver band that stood out more than he expected it to. He wanted to get black carbon fiber but Nesta threatened not to speak to him again if he had. Now he can't stop looking at it. He loves how it makes an appearance even though he's bedecked in full illyrian armour. He'll never forget the swell of pride he felt when his soldiers eyes zoned in on the piece of metal that could've easily been obscured by the red siphon that rests atop his hand, but chose to stand out and make its presence known. A symbol of his immature bachelorhood dead and gone, giving life to a new stage in his life. A stage he's waited for longer than he cares to admit.
He remembers using the word 'shackled' when describing his mating bond with Nesta when he was upset with her, but now that word seems appropriate. If the pieces of metal sitting on their matching fingers are the shackles of which he spoke, then he'd wear his shackles with pride.
One more thing
I tried to treat you right
But you stayed out, stayed out at night
But I forgive you, bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
Cassian rarely thinks about the time they spent apart. When resentment, self punishment and grief pulled them apart only because those memories are nothing in comparison to the centuries he spent without her.
Living life believing the words of the ignorant and seeing oneself as a inferior and undeserving of the love that he relishes in now. The love that has somehow wiped away centuries of self hate and lack of self awareness. He figures that the reason why he used to be the first to throw himself into deadly missions were all desperate plea to prove himself, to put it into stone that he isn't a mere worthless bastard but is someone worthy of respect. But now his outlook has completely shifted. He is no longer living only for himself, but for another. He remembers the blind terror he felt when he thought that Nesta was swallowed by the black water in the Bog, or how she screamed when she thought that she lost him on Mount Ramiel.
He doesnt want either of them to go through that again. To be without the other. To feel that their very heart was ripped out of their chest, when both had taken permanent residence in the other.
He saw how Feyre reacted when Rhys died, and heard when Rhys screamed when Feyre was on deaths doorstop. The mere thought of Nesta experiencing that pain or him has softened his daring heart.
He will live, he will love and he will do it with Nesta in his arms.
As the song drew to a close, Nesta shifted from her position on his chest, too look upon him again. She brought her slim fingers to his cheeks and smiled. "Forever."
He could offer nothing but the same. A truth that had been both a promise and a prayer from the moment they met, "Forever."
Tag: @bakingandbooks3 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @arinbelle @silvernesta @darklobe @haepaw @carlieg20 @illyrianshadowhunter
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thatonesadending · 3 years
Text
Power of Words - Chapters 5
Molly is overwhelmed with how much has changed, including his body. Caleb helps him feel a bit more normal.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056542
It could have been minutes, or hours, that Molly sobbed into Caleb’s neck. He didn't have a grip on time, let alone his current reality, so he let himself cry until his voice was hoarse, and his cheeks tight with dried tears. He wasn't sure when he had sunk to the floor, but Caleb had gone with him, holding him close, cradling Molly in his arms as he sobbed his way to exhaustion.
It wasn't that Molly was sad or unhappy really, but he was experiencing a sort of onslaught of grief of his own death. Of all the adventures he missed, the moments he didn’t get to share. Complicating it was that he knew that his friends, people he had grown to love over an impossibly short time, now had images of him hurting them that he didn’t have. Why else had they been scared of him, wary of his return?
And then there was the issue of him. This body. The coat had helped ground him, but it only lasted a short while. Every reflection in the glass that he caught, every flinch when he approached one of the Nien too fast, every time he looked at his own hands and saw the missing rings and golden caps on his fingers … It reminded him of the fact that he had been lost, and someone else had been piloting this body.
The mixture of all the upsetting feelings, with the beauty of all the ways he had been remembered - preserved - created chaos of spilling out feelings that he couldn't help but let out in embarrassing sobs. The only thing that was coxing him back was Caleb’s hand, drawing circles on his back, humming some lullaby he faintly recognized.
There had been a time before, when he had come out empty and hollow from the grave he had been left in, that the only way Yasha had been able to calm him was to sing him a song meant for the Gods. A prayer pressed to melody. Caleb was humming it now, while rubbing his back. When he was able to steady his breathing enough, Molly managed to ask him about the song.
“How do - did Yasha give you the song?” His voice was still quiet, more of a whisper, but the ever preceptive Caleb still heard him.
“Yes, she shared it with me on a particularly hard night, seeing as we both can speak celestial.”
Molly had never thought to ask what language the song had been in, so many languages and things had been forign to him at the time. It didn't surprise him that Caleb had memorized it. He wanted to thank Caleb again, but it wouldn’t have conveyed how actually grateful he was. He stayed there for a few more moments, his cheek pressed to the man's chest, horn resting on his shoulder, and his tail wrapped tightly against his waist. It was only until he felt the ache of tiredness in his own bones, and remembered who he was holding on to, that he let go.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“It is alright Mollymauk, I only care that you are okay.”
Caleb didn't let Molly get very far in his self-conscious retreat, clasping him at the elbows and looking him firmly in the eyes. Molly wasn’t okay, but he also wasn’t not. He was caught in between glee at being alive again, and horror that someone else had been living for him in the meantime. And then there was that unspoken dread, the one that he was constantly trying not to think of, because what if Lucien ….
“It is alright to need time. I will do everything in my power to give you all the time you need to be okay.” Caleb’s words were like an incoming tide, slowly washing away at the edges of Molly’s worries.
“I am n- it’s just that…” He struggled find the words to try to express how he was feeling everything too much right now, and he really wanted to feel just like himself. Caleb stayed silent and just waited until Molly could compose himself to try again. “It’s a lot. The whole dying, being possessed by your former self - well a sad sack of a soul that was not me- and then living again to-” Molly gestered the gorgeous window and room that surrounded them. “-and still feel, I don't know, like I am not really here. Like I haven't earned the right to it.” Molly hadn’t really understood the weight of his emotions until he spoke aloud, and then he felt his eyes threatened to spill again. But of course, Caleb came to his rescue once more.
“Ah, I think I understand. I believe I can help, if that is alright?”
How Caleb could do anything more for him was beyond imaginable. He had already brought Molly back from his unconscious prison and a chance of life, given him a not only decadent room but one that represented his life, and most of all - Caleb had offered Molly an incredibly close embrace when he needed to cry out the most. Still, he chose to follow the human when they disentangled, and he had been led to the gorgeous red vanity he had admired before.
Caleb pulled out the overstuffed stool, and motioned for him to sit. He did so, admittedly a tad cautiously, since he didn't know what Caleb wanted from him. Nervous hands pulled out the top long drawer, but Molly couldnt take his eyes away from Caleb’s face, trying to see why the man was suddenly shy. He was used to Caleb being reserved, self-deprecating, humble to a fault, that was until he came back, and he found himself with a wizard that was more self assured and hopeful.
“My memory is not perfect, close, but - um - some things can be misremember, so if you would like any changes or if I got anything wrong …”
He looked down at the drawer as Caleb spoke. It was lined in a lavender velvet that almost perfectly matched his skin. Inside was every single piece of jewelry that he was currently missing, the outlandish bits of glitter and gold that Molly had used to set himself apart. From his earrings, the chains that had been in his horns, to the cuffs he had worn around his tail.
“I am not sure which set you would like. I tried to capture each I could remember.” Caleb was being far too modest. There laid perfect versions of every variation of his jewelry from when they had met in Trostenwald to when they left Hupperdook.
“The last ones.” His voice was still rough from crying, but Caleb ignored it and started to lift the various pieces from its place. Molly had wanted to say ‘Oh the ones that I was wearing when I died.’, but he didn't. He didn't want to taint why these were his favorite. How he had eavesdropped on Jester trying to convince Yasha to tell her which one he would like more, the horn cuff with matching  jade studs, or the crescent at the end of a teardrop earring that had a chain that would connect at the top of his ear. While Yasha had tried to convince her money would be better spent elsewhere, Molly could remember Nott sneaking up and simply pocketing both sets. She later presented them to Molly in front of the other women. “That shop was horrible, nothing worth taking, but they wouldn’t leave … so here.” He knew she hadnt meant it, that she was actually offering friendship, not earrings. He took and cherished them all the same.
Caleb was gentle, fastening the earrings with care, being impossibly soft with his horns while he placed the jewelry. Molly didn't say a word, Caleb knew where every bit went. He hadn’t meant to screw his eyes shut, but it was the only way to prevent more tears, those of anxiety, from falling. It wasn't until he felt a thumb slowly pressing gentle circles at the base of his horns, that he was able to blink his eyes open again. Caleb was kneeling in front of where he sat, hands still massaging this temple.
“Would you like to look?” he asked. Molly nodded, though only after a moment. Caleb pulled out a hand mirror, as though he knew that he couldn't turn to look at himself in the large one hanging above the vanity quiet yet. He took the matching ornate mirror and looked at just his horns, then to his ears, and then to his face. His horns and ears were familiar, grounding him in the memories that he felt were just yesterday. They gave him considerable relief compared to the reflections he had caught earlier, that looked nothing like him, but that of Lucien.
It was when he got to his actual face, did he feel the weight of sorrow again. It was still him, of course, but his hair was long and the curls greasy were uncared for. His lips were wind chapped and cracking. The hallows of his cheeks were more pronounced. It was only then that Molly realized how much weight he had lost, his already slender frame now reduced to just what was necessary. It was obvious that Lucien had not cared for his body, not with good food or consideration for its frame.
Molly tried not to let the disappointment show, because the jewelry really had help, and he appreciated Caleb’s sweetness, but there was still a part of him that was missing, hollow. Try as he might, Caleb apparently had the gods on his side.
“Not enough, ja? That is alright, give me just another moment.”
Molly didn't know how this man knew what was going on in his head, especially when he had only spoken a half a dozen or so sentences since entering this magical room. All the same, Caleb rose from his knees and crossed the room where a thick silk rope hung, and pulled on it twice. He couldn't hear what the other man said, but it was brief, and then Caleb was back his side, opening drawers again.
“I will admit, I do not know your preferences, but these are the cosmetics that Jester prefered, I only altered them to what I thought you might have enjoyed.” Molly chose to ignore the past tense, especially when Caleb pulled out several different vials of hydrating oils, scented balms for blisters, and …. A beautiful array of gold tinted make-up.
“God’s, Caleb! How much did you spend on this?!” Molly couldn’t help admonish while admiring a glistening jar of lavender body oil.
“Nothing but my imagination.” Caleb supplied, as though it was the most natural answer in the world. Catching Molly’s confusion, he continued. “This is actually a demiplane, it only lasts for 24 hours, and you can not take out what you did not bring in other than what you consume.” Caleb looked apologetic, as though that wasn’t work that only Gods should be able to do. “So while you may wear anything you want while you are here, unfortunately if it is made of magic, it won't survive outside of the tower’s walls.” Molly didn’t care, it was grateful just the same for what Caleb was giving him. The wizard handed him a balm for his lips, and opened another drawer and pulled out a delicate-looking comb.
“There is a bath on the other side of the dresser, if you have the energy for that. I am sure Jester would be willing to cut your hair, if you would like. But how about I comb it out first, and you can decide if you want that later?” Caleb’s offer warmed him, so he nodded and let the man comb through the knots of his hair, while Molly took advantage of the balms and lotion. They worked in comfortable silence for several moments. Caleb was careful and calm, relaxing Molly enough that he felt is eyes fall closed again, but this time to just sit and feel the small touches of fingers on his scalp and running through his hair. It wasn’t until he felt a small tap, that he looked and saw a cat he’d never met, somehow holding a bowl of fruits and bread and a large glass of water.
“Ah yes. Thank you.” Caleb took the bowl and set it on the table next to Molly. “If you are hungry. But please, drink this.” The glass of water was pressed into his hands, and Molly readily gulped most of it down. “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask. The cats will bring you what you need.” How that was possible, was beyond him. But he had also been bitten by a wessel that was also apparently a god, so anything could be possible then.
Molly took a few of the grapes, and let himself relax again as Caleb finished with his hair.
“I am done. Does that feel better?” Caleb asked, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to look again. He did anyways, in the larger mirror on the wall, and was pleasantly surprised. His skin was still a bit pale, but no longer ashy with lack of moisture. He did even mind the longer hair, now that Caleb had worked out the tangles, the longer curls falling past his shoulders. He wondered if Yasha would braid it around his horns. His lips even looked more like his, smoothed and shining from the balm. He pressed his fingers to them and hummed a please affirmative to Caleb.
“Good, would you like me to call fetch Yasha for you?”
Yes. He missed her terribly, it felt like it was just yesterday that he had been terrified about how she was because she had been taken from him by slavers. But he still wasn’t quite ready to confront that.
“In a bit, stay with me?” Molly couldn’t read Caleb’s expression, it was a mixture of surprise and warmth. He didn’t say anything, but followed him to sit on the edge of the ridiculous bed. Caleb seemed to be looking to Molly for clues of what to do, so Molly sat close and rested his cheek on the wizard's shoulder. When he didn't flinch, or stiffen like Molly would have expected, he took it as a sign that this was ok. His tail wrapped lazily around Caleb’s ankle, and he drew little patterns on Molly’s knee. They stayed like that for only gods know how long, in comfortable silence, letting the tiefling clear out his mind from all the clutter and noise the day brought. He was beginning to feel like he could maybe, possibly, start process the day’s emotions.
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itsmeevie01 · 4 years
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Bio!Dad Bruce Month Day 13- Gifts
a teen was standing in an airport, the hood of his hoodie pulled up to hide his dark hair. His hands were stuffed in the pocket of his sweatpants, and he kept his eyes (really blue eyes!) fixed on his phone. When the arrival of the last flight from Paris for the night was announced, he glanced up, scanning the area. Satisfied that whoever he was looking for wasn’t yet at the baggage claim, he returned to his phone. 
20 minutes later, the device binged, and his head shot up, once again scanning the area. The athletic boy’s face split into a smile when he locked eyes with a girl who was waiting near a pile of bags, looking through the ones that were spitting out. The boy made his way over and pulled the girl into a hug. After they had snagged the last of her bags (how on earth did the kid have 6???) the two made their way to the parking garage. When they neared the doors separating the warm airport, the boy pulled the girl’s hood up and made sure his was up as well before pulling the bags he had taken behind him. the tow hurried through the cold air, heads down. 
As they passed a line of cars in the drop off lane, the boy’s hood got knocked off by the wind. He ducked down further, but by then, it was too late. “Timothy! Timothy Drake!” his name flew through the reports and visitors in the crowd. The boy, Tim, scowled and cut those closest to him a glare. The girl behind him sniggered at his distress before pulling her hood farther forward. As she pushed past the teen, there was a flash of blue eyes, before she was pulling him after her. As they hurried off, there were multiple flashes of cameras and questions floated through the air.
---
“what that fuck did you do?” the question was punctuated by the slamming of Marinette’s door. Tim huffed as he slumped into the driver’s seat.
“I didn’t do anything though! Honestly, it’s not my fault B has been making me do the public appearances for WE!” at his sister’s suspicious look, the older teen made a face and checked to make sure she had buckled her seatbelt. S
oon, the two were speeding down the road that led to the manor, where the rest of the family was gathering. 
---
When they walked in, they were greeted by Alfred, who gave Tim an unimpressed look before smiling at Marinette and insisting that the two go join the family in the big sitting room. When they entered, they found everyone staring at the television, where a news story was flashing on the screen. As the Anchor continued to talk, a picture of whatever had caught the family’s interest appeared on the screen and-
“well shit, Timmy, can’t you even pretend to be low key?” Jason’s question made the other boy groan and throw himself into a chair.
“I tried, Jason. I tried. It wasn’t until we were almost to the car that someone saw us.” He glanced at the image on the TV, “at least M can’t be seen clearly. That went correctly.” Jason snorted derisively and let himself fall back into his seat.
“how long do you think before the conspiracy theories start flying?” at his question, Marinette looked up from where she was scrolling through her phone.
“oh, those have already started. Half of Twitter thinks I’m Tim’s Girlfriend.” The room erupted in laughter and the siblings moved to accommodate the teens before turning back to the news.
Bruce smiled at his children as they started to stumble down the stairs. First, Marinette had come down from her room. The 14-year-old had taken the holiday to swap out her jeans and long-sleeved tees for a pair of leggings and a long green top that settled mid-thigh. Although her clothes weren’t festive, per say, you could tell she had thought her appearance through very carefully. At this point, Bruce mused, he wouldn’t expect anything less from the budding fashion designer.
Next had come Tim, somewhere around 5 am. The teen had also changed from his Pajamas into what Bruce realized was an outfit Marinette had planned. Black joggers, black tee peeking out from under a red hoodie, and a pair of slippers that Bruce suspected were actually his.
 Once the two had curled up together gripping their coffee, Dick and Jason appeared. They too had forgone the customary pjs for joggers, in Dicks case, and sweats in Jason’s. Dick was wearing a deep blue hoodie that was almost back, with…OH that must have been Marinette’s doing who else was going to make a custom hoodie for Dick that displayed his Nightwing symbol so subtly. Jason on the other hand…Marinette clearly had put less into being subtle with him. instead of a deep garnet that could blend into the bat symbol on his chest, the hoodie was a bright glaring red. On the back, in cursive, the name “Red Hoodie” had been sewn. Bruce held back a laugh of disbelief at the ease the girl had used to sneak the hoodies into the boy’s wardrobe.
While Bruce was marveling at his daughter’s creativity and sneakiness, Cass slipped in and settled next to him. she too was wearing a hoodie that Bruce now recognized as one of Marinette’s. it was black on black with white outlining the bat symbol. At his look of amusement, Cass handed him the hoodie in her hands.
It was black like hers, except much bigger and completely devoid of color. As he inspected the hoodie, Bruce found a small selection of embroidery on the bottom hem. “dad, I didn’t want to do anything huge, but this is a thank you, and a small reminder that I love you. Stay safe, Marinette Cheng-Wayne” he smiled as he ran his fingers over the stitching. 
When he glanced over at Cass again, he found her playing with the embroidery on her own hoodie where it met her leggings. Before he could turn and say anything to the designer, Damien made his presence known as he entered the room. The boy scowled at everyone before he plopped down on next to Marinette, on the side opposite of Tim. Bruce shook his head as he watched his two youngest interact, Damien in a green hoodie and sweats. The hoodie wasn’t anything special, except for the red lining and yellow accents that Marinette had obviously added as a nod to his hero persona.
Alfred came in shortly after and handed out coffee and Hot Cocoa. As the siblings woke up, they moved so that the family made a semi-circle around the tree. They pulled out their phones and started checked the time, texted their friends, and generally got accustomed to the early morning. 
When Alfred came back to join them, toting two giant trash bags and a camera, Dick perked up, it was time to start handing out presents. As the young adult started moving through the room, the others sorted what he was handing them when they all were given boxes in an unfamiliar paper, many of the older ones traded confused glances with each other. When the last present had been distributed, everyone turned to Damien who glanced around in confusion. “what? Do I have something on my face?” the others laughed, and Marinette bumped him with her elbow.
“its not that, little brother, you are the youngest, so you go first. You open one and everyone else will take turns after until it comes back to you!” the boy rolled his eyes at her explanation, before reaching for the paper that the rest of the family knew signifies that the gift was from Alfred. 
When the youngest had opened the parcel to reveal a selection of books on drawing and wildlife, Marinette smiled at him and nodded to Dick, who had ended up next to Damien. Dick flashed her a bright smile and opened his own present form Alfred. After Dick, Jason tugged off the paper on his box. Then, Cass who turned to Bruce with a prompting tilt of her head. After Bruce had opened his bag (really, Alfred! He didn’t need any more books on raising emotionally stable children. He had done well so far, right?) he nodded to Alfred who raised a pointed eyebrow at him (about what, Bruce wasn’t sure. He hadn’t done anything yet, had he? It was barely 6 in the morning!). Tim rolled his eyes at their interaction, before ripping open his own package and letting out a yelp of happiness at the stack of books that he found waiting for him. 
After that, Marinette simply giggled at the family antics and opened her gift. When Damien reached for the next present, Alfred lifted his camera to capture the smiles that were flooding the room.
Somehow, Damien had left the unfamiliar papered gift for last. When he reached for it, he tried to do a mental tally to figure out who it could be from. First they had opened Alfred’s gifts, so it couldn’t be him. then they had moved onto Bruce’s then Jason’s. After that, they had gone through Cass’s (apparently, she was a notoriously bad gift giver) and his own. Then, Damien had reached for the ones he knew came from Marinette, before deigning to opened Tim’s. if they had opened all of the family presents, then…” Alfred, why are these under the family tree?” Dick’s question broke Damien from his thoughts. “shouldn’t we wait until the Kents get here to open these?” the old Butler shook his head and gestured for the vigilante to open the box. 
When Dick did as instructed, he full on squealed. “How!” at the family’s confusion, the oldest of the siblings held up a card that had been nestled inside. The small crème square read ‘Complements of MCW’. As the family processed what they were seeing, all hell broke loose. The others tore into the boxes in front of them, and all found a personalized gift, and a matching Christmas sweater. No one noticed Marinette’s small smile at the chaos surrounding her, or that though she had the Christmas sweater, she didn’t have a personalized item to go with. 
No one, that is, except Tim.
so, this is LATE, because the place im staying over the weekend has crazy spotty internet and i couldnt get Word to save anything. that said, i will also be uploading day 14, so keep an eye out for that today...
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tobebugjewce · 3 years
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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series
first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over
which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.
so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.
i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here
without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1
clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.
firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 
the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case
i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case
i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.
i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!
i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974
i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 
i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.
i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 
Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978
awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx
this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 
so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;
Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978
then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 
claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.
i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 
relocate X/X/75 felix
storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)
Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten
Shipping Service 1975
New Location -> 1982
i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974
starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.
i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;
Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)
i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 
Technical Support 1978 
then, 
Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)
alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;
- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod
- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;
- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho
i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;
- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.
- Tape #4 - Unkown Date
- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 
- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;
TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB
holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;
12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao
found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did
Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao
Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??
starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;
“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 
at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;
@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*
okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 
might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.
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rainne-art · 3 years
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grieving widow
54 hours
aight i can explain, i started the initial drawing months ago, and i just kept leaving and coming back to it. Eventually i got to the point where i just couldnt get a background to work coz i couldnt figure out the perspective. And following the wise words of Drawfee “delete your art” i restarted the whole drawing 14.5 hrs in, which i dont regret at all coz i started it with the perspective and background in time and i made a 3d model to help me figure out the pose i wanted and it all just worked out. So i guess i just need to remember i shouldnt get too precious over a drawing, just throw it out and draw it better 🤷🏻‍♀️ is it how i saw it in my head? nah, but i do like it better than the initial idea 😅
speaking of how i saw it in my head, it’s kinda embarrassing but… this was supposed to be a scene that happens in one of the many stories in my head. it’s something cliche as a princess and knight eloping when she she’s arranged to marry some prince in a neighbouring kingdom. while she’s to have her happy ending with her knight, the prince comes to steal her back in assuming she was kidnapped by the knight because no way can two girls love each other a man and woman could. in the fight the knight is focused on protecting her wife, and gets slain by the prince’s men. thus the princess is stolen back to the kingdom where a wedding and celebration is to happen. the grieving princess although under constant surveillance plots her revenge. this is what the drawing was in my head, is when the princess has successfully avenged her dead lover, and all she can do is finally grieve her in peace before she follows her into the afterlife.
god i dont even know why im sharing this whole section. all i just wanted to say was that in my head it’s a bit more gruesome and bloody (bigger background, less claustrophobic) but im still limited with i can do 🥲. as i drew, the scene kept changing coz i just couldnt properly translate the image in my head to my ipad.
Oh well, maybe when i improve more i’ll be able to do it justice
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