Harley Quinn who recently kidnapped Bruce Wayne and texted Scarecrow to meet her: "Alright Brucie Boy, you're probably wondering why I kidnapped you, and don't worry! It's not for anything "villainous" or the like. You might not remember it but I remember me and you being in med school together along with Crane and I thought we could form a club since we never got to start one in school since you dipped in the middle of the year!"
Scarecrow who just walked in: "That's seriously why we're here? I thought you needed my help. You said it was urgent."
Harley holding up a tote bag: "It is urgent! I made t-shirts and I need to know if they fit!"
Bruce who honestly just wanted a nap: "Let's just see the shirts Quinzel."
Scarecrow: You're actually going along with this!?"
Bruce raising a brow and looking down at the ropes that are binding him to a chair: "I don't have much of a choice..."
Scarecrow: "...Fair point. Okay Harley show us the shirts."
Harley pulls out a crop top shirt proudly, it's half red, half black that has 'OFFICIAL FUCK FREUD CLUB' on the chest: "I got em personalized! Bruce gets a black turtleneck because he was the soft goth boy in med school and he's still a little goth baby. John you get a flannel that has the sayin' on the back! Aren't they cute?"
Bruce remembering how much he hated Freud and having to listen to his methods and ideas in school, and how he, Harley, and John would shit talk him in their study group: "Okay I actually love this idea and the shirts."
Scarecrow trying to hide how touched he is: "You got me flannel?"
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I’ll make fun of Male Power Fantasy Batman for the rest of my life.
But the Batman that, as Bruce Wayne, gave Scarecrow a job at Wayne Industries when he thought he reformed?
The Batman that spend an entire issue hunting Killer Croc when he killed some cops, only to find out that he only did it because he was protecting the homeless people he took care of, was like “Oh dang, if you ate them I guess I don’t have any evidence. Guess I’ll have to leave you alone Waylon”?
The one who sent the Riddler on the path to becoming a private detective because he needed help with a case￼ and just knew Ed couldn’t resist?
The one who’s so proud to see Freeze doing better, the one who helps him every chance he gets?
The one who’ll happily team up with Poison Ivy as long as innocent people don’t get hurt?
The one who, at the end of the day, just wanted Harley to finally realize that the Joker didn’t actually love her?
I adore that Batman.
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Bruce: I'd like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.
Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?
Tim: A lot more.
Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.
Jason: I- wait what?
Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.
Jason: What exactly did you do?
Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn't the little bird?
Robin: [coldly] Question man.
Riddler: It's "the Riddler"
Robin: Who cares?
Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]
Penguin: Great. It's the boy annoyance.
Robin: [cordially] Birdman.
Penguin: I beg your pardon?!
Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.
Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-
Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.
Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety
Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime
Harley: [cracks her knuckles]
Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]
Clayface: great. a mosquito.
Robin: ...[with distaste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.
Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.
Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!
Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it's the cavalary...'s pet.
Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.
Robin: You are Harley's husband correct?
Joker: [furious] no!
Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name... ... [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.
Joker: [frothing at the mouth]
[back at the meeting]
Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.
Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.
Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.
Bruce: [grinds his teeth]
Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker's preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?
Jason: [munching down a power bar] It's Fuckface McKidkiller
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