#scared the shit out of everyone though

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes

and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.

so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.

short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.

full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.

first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section

and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.

they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)

it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.

which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.

and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.

everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection

Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.

and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!

best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.

not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.

which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.

and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.

but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.

but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?

their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.

i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?

how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.

it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.

personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.

#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain #i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower #and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back #*taking a break from art* #brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings #welcome home theory #welcome home speculation #SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY #mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour #barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him #and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here #but like.... ugh #barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation #him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else. #him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt #everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone #and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away' #that has GOT to get on his nerves over time #this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck. #even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship #if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties #barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]' #and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship' #BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me! #also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things #bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn! #but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different #not said as a bad thing At All. #just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals #we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics

[cinnamon-phrog]

A mutual reblogged a pr*ship post and their dni is now neutral. Unfallowed. Bolcked.

#see if i joke i don't CHOKE. on my tears. because this just keeps happening #i'm so scared to interact with mutuals for this exact reason #most i've made have either left me. became toxic over minor differences or become a degenerate. #which is sad because i really enjoyed this friend and all those friends before they or i cut ties #but this kind of shit is unforgivable to me. i've had bad experiences with a friend turning out to be a pr*shipper #everyone flocked to me to fix their traumas but i had talked to that person often. it hurt a lot. they harassed people who harassed them #i was only 15. and i was threatened but what the hell is a sheltered kid SUPPOSED to do back. i wasn't taught shit #people in their fucking 20's were trauma dumping to me in dms and sadly still go to me when they catch wind of this person- #'i need support' you need to get offline. please. just block and ignore. i'm tired. #i should not have had to be babysitting adults and older teens when i didn't know what half those words were at the time. #months ago i did something stupid when i was at my limit and mirrored the pettiness i saw. i was told i would drive someone to suicide. #over saying the person was a bit mean and bringing up some posts i thought they made #i did apologise when i got it wrong. but got threatened with the person possibly killing themselves in my inbox. #this person and the pr*ship person were famously at eachothers' throats #i do not stand by the pr*ship persons' actions. their opinions on the other person were honestly right though. the only thing i agree with. #once again i complain about proshits and gatekeeps. the two are almost as bad as eachother to me #or at least two awful sides that have affected me and my ability to make friends online. #so that's what this remined me of.

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[advisorsage]

I think I've fucked up

#i ranted to my girlfriend and i know she probably is just busy but my brain is screaming that i made her upset even though.. #my rant was about my own situation and how i feel about it and then i apologized for complaining at her and said that i wasn't supposed to #and I'm worried she thinks she's not supposed to complain to me when i just meant that i don't like telling people about my shit #and i know she said i could tell her and that she wants to support me but she and my boyfriend are my first relationships #and i don't want to fuck up and i think i have and i haven't told my boyfriend about my diagnosis yet #and I'm scared I'll complain at him too when i tell him and i don't care that he's told me i can and should complain to him #i don't want to saddle them with my complaints #and i called out of work because of how I'm feeling from my diagnosis and that's what i ranted to my girlfriend about #and i'm terrified she doesn't want to date me anymore because my reaction to being diagnosed with one more thing is so fucking pathetic #and i just need to cry and scream and throw up and i can't do any of those things and i feel like everyone except her is telling me #it's no big deal when it is a big deal and i don't think i got it through to my therapist and I'm just freaked out and i don't want to cling #and and and I'm just. i hate existing right now #i feel like i shouldn't do what i want to at home because i called out from work and i know that's stupid but i don't feel like i deserve #nice things right now despite needing them and I'm just so tired but not sleepy and i feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and #i can't even do anything about it! #fuck #i fucked myself over basically #anyway #drink water you heathens

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease. #scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :) #it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week. #like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭 #also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary. #like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks. #specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about. #like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45. #it's so unbelievably exhausting. #but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :) #oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) ) #ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part. #and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked. #personal

[freebooter4ever]

You know, one thing ive been thinking about the whole keke's outfit thing...it continues to baffle me how the straight heterosexual view of women's 'attractiveness' STILL tends to equate scantily clad with 'availability' or 'asking for it' or 'putting it on display'. As if wearing something skimpy is what threatens the boyfriend's position as the only man who is allowed to be attracted to his girlfriend.

But like. And i cant speak for all women attracted to women here. But i KNOW i am not the only woman who watched nope, caught the VERY SUBTLE HINTS, and was immediately like 'oh she is the hottest thing ever I AM DEVOTED TO HER' because we are starved for lesbian characters just being allowed to exist and be attractive on screen without catering to the male gaze. Like the akira slide and motorcycle scenes? Sexy as hell. The little dancey thing to classic music? Sexy. Her general refusal to sit upright? Still hot. And she was doing it all in slightly butch but still extremely stylish clothing that basically covered everything. And i mean she was still the most attractive character on that screen the entire time, i probably missed half the movie because i was just watching her the whole time. And it had absolutely nothing to do with how little she was wearing.

Like yes keke herself also looked sexy in that dress/bodysuit that her boyfriend hated so much. But why is it THAT that makes him insecure? Why not the thousands of lesbian/bisexual girls who watched nope a few too many times just to daydream about dating a girl like emerald one day?

#Journal shit #My own insecurities are all about emotional intimacies #Like the physical attractiveness stuff doesnt make me jealous #If other people find my significant other attractive thats fine #But if it starts to feel like there is someone who would be better suited for my significant other emotionally or personality or whatever #Yeah lol #It seems like with men its very much about control #They want to control the relationship and feel secure that their woman is performing *sexy* only for them #Though i would guess an independant woman scares and intimidates insecure men too #Like a woman who has a choice to just walk out scares them #I have tried and tried to wrap my head around shit like this #Like my abusive ex used to HATE all my friends #Every. Single. One. Of. Them. #And he refused to believe i wasnt secretly wishing i could date every other person in my life #Like everyone was a threat #And i bent over backwards trying to make him feel secure nothing EVER worked #I lost tons of friends that year 2011 is hell year for a reason i was SO isolated and lonely and hermity #I would make friends and then lose them quickly partially because my boyfriend didnt like anyone #And its not like he wasnt very vocal about the girls he ACTUALLY wanted to be dating who werent me #and how much he resented me for not being prettier more talented more elegant/refined whatever #It was a mind fuck and always made me feel like i was going crazy trying to jump all the hoops #Even after he dumped me theres still sad sack journal entries on this blog of me sighing about how much i loved and missed him lmao #I took all his insecurity and hate and turned it on myself like why couldnt i BE better why couldnt i make him happy #Spoiler alert that didnt work #I guess i always felt like i kinda deserved it i was mostly ugly and not worth much and who can blame my ex #But seeing women who have it all STILL get stuck dealing with asshole behavior? :( makes me sad

[tropicalgothships]

Picture not related but I am not feeling too great and uh yeah vent in tags.

#god being told by the hospital that I’m a lot more sick than I thought I was just hit hard #and I don’t like being sad or sick or anything #I don’t want to be sick #I need to keep going and recover from that breakdown #they’ve gotta rule out cancer first though so I get why the urgency but #it’s scary man #i’m scared #anyways sorry about this I don’t mean to bore anyone with my health shit #sometimes I think this is some weird karma for what I went through but that’s not true is it? #everyone irl has been lovely about it #I’m just so tired and sleepy and run down #anyways #vent tw #medical shit #medical tw #cancer mention tw

[melto]

something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone

#^ guy who is not out of a depressive ep like he thought he sorta was #dont even like particularly feel the old urge of the anxiety/need to hurt my relationships like i used to..i just feel like shit. #short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy #even if that feeling is like making me feel sorta suicidal still. #just dont have it in me to like figure out how to act normal right now. something i have to do around most people and nearly everyone #i intreact with irl right now #not healthy. Ofc naturally i know this. and i can push through it. im just not excited about it. #the exhaustion to like contain myself is greater than my lonliness even though that is rather large #and i would like to get this out of my system before like. the semester starts next week. which i know i cant like control but whatever #this is all sooooo stupid. i need to be alone but i need compaionship of someone i trust. #it feels like there is glue in my mouth and i can barely speak to people im not close with bc of how exhausted and anxious i am #man. thearpy is like. going to really . idk. probably not help my mood. bc it has been hard for me to word what has been happening to me #and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything. #but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just. #cant seem to figure out how to fix or ask for help. whatever. Guy who is stupid and helpless and will have to just get over it at some poin #sry i just feel like shit. i should probably just eat something i havent been eating much. and then i will probably feel a bit better #news with isaac

[dootznbootz]

...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...

#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways. #she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way. #She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw. #It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is) #a maggot. #while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out #I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first. #He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know. #it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly #it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns #and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied #I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending #I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her #why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID. #was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled #at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit #Mad rambles #idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran #folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school. #vent #rant #I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?

[ehlnofay]

I need to write two characters with the most unhinged enmeshed nonromantic relationship imaginable. and I need to do it right now

#I LIKE being aromantic. is the thing #it rules it kicks ass etc all you dumbasses are faffing around worrying about kissing when you could be looking at pictures of fish #or literally anything else #I'm right about this. everyone else is fussed about nothing #HOWEVER. it is a tad bit lonely. when it feels like everyone else in the world is worrying about kissing #and there I am. looking at pictures of cool fish on my own #I'm saying it kind of jokily but like... genuinely it's rough out here sometimes!! #I see my dear friends being happy in relationships and I am happy for them but it's. #you know. there's a bit of an edge to it. there's this feeling that people don't value the way that I love - even though I surround myself #with lovely people and I know that's not true - and it's hard not to feel like one day I will be left behind #I'm getting a bit older and it's getting harder to work with peoples' schedules and I'm scared for what it means for ten years from now #everyone will find people who are more important to them than me. and I will still be looking at the pictures of fish #and then I go to my little books and shows and all manner of stories and ALL OF THESE GUYS ARE FUSSED ABOUT KISSING TOO #and it's like goddamn can't a bitch catch a break #can't a bitch see people caring for each other in a way he can understand #romance is sweet and all sometimes. I don't despise it. but fucking hell if it isn't oversaturated as shit!!!! #enough!!!!! we've seen enough of this!!!! if I don't right now think of seven different platonic ways #for people to be profoundly important to one another. that are also kind of fucked up but like in a delightful way #I am going to FLIP MY LID #anyway google the barreleye fish right now. it's a cool ass fish #fay complains

[computerpeople]

my mom got very very drunk yesterday and she's an aggressive drunk, not physically but it amplifies her anger and irritation by like 6, and she's already a very very explosive and volatile woman. she got in a fight with her boyfriend and was screaming and drove off to the middle of nowhere and that's why my sister called and im so proud of her for reaching out and asking me to call, and i think she is too, she said she wants to call me more for sure and wants to ask more, and that she felt a lot better after we called. that feels good for me, even if im worrying about it now, at her age i didn't have anyone to turn to or call, so im glad i get to be that for her. i fucking hate my parents man

#my mom is so. #shes just not well man. she isn't healthy #neither is my dad. #working on myself away from them has gotten so scary because. holy shit. holy shit they are. like. broken people. not in the sad way but #like in a 'how how the fuck did you get this far in life without dying. how. how did you fucking do that' #my dad aparently hates his job and wants to quit because and i quote 'the teenage workers wont clean up after themselves' #and now he 'has to' deal with that at home AND at work #and i swear hes makingf it up in his head because literally he is a hoarder and insane and expected all of us to keep the house with him in #it cleaned without him actually putting in any effort. so i assume thats what happening at his job too but thats so baffling because its li #llike how are you a grown man fucking acting like this at your minimum wage job #how . #youre fucking inane #anyways everyones scared he might kill himself too so now ive gotta worry abotu BOTH parents killing themself #and even when i moved he was lkike we need to talk about where my moneys going if i die before youre twenty four #and of course i was like. huh!? i dont think youre going to...? #and he was like yeah we just gotta make sure though #HUH?! #but i assumed thats bexcause fucking everyone has us brainwashed that hes going to die of a heart attack #i brought that up with my sister too i was like. i swear its not even a real threat but everyones always freaking out about it but hes #literally never had heart problems and has fantastic blood tests other than slightly high cholestoral. its literally just because my step #moms dad died of a heart attack and she proojected it onto him and said i was going to give him one #and now my entire family is convinced thats how hes going to die #but my sister said my mom took her to my dads house at one point and he didnt answer the doorbell for HOURS #he was asleep but while drivbing away my mom was like 'phew i thought we were going to walk in on him dead' #BROOO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO YOUR 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH OCD AND PTSD FUCK OFFFFFF #I HATE YOU #txt

[poisonsteel]

"brodias emblem is veronica" my dumbass: how can i make this about grissamant

theyre Both scared of fire magic. i dont know if im crazy for noticing this or not, but griss rarely uses it, as compared to.. every other mage in the game ever. like no joke the most fire-ish magic he uses frequently is via celica. outside of it? bolganone once, and he drops it anyway

diamant basically describes his incident with fire magic like trauma sometimes and veronicas is related to the muspell arc and. Yeah we know what was going on in that one

juuuust saying. griss pining in such a pathetically homosexual way for his enemy that he stops using fire magic entirely because him and the emblem he's with via "i knew another you" association are scared of it

#i think veronica would attach herself to diamant bc hes familiar #even if he acts completely different compared to the other one #she definitely seems more comfortable around him than others #grissamant #he wants to hurt diamant but not scare him i think #griss has his limits #he does want to terrify the living shit out of everyone else though thats how chapter 20 exists!

[pepprs]

covid is such an evil evil disease and an evil evil thing to live through lol

#purrs #this isn’t prompted by anything im just thinking about it. i hate that thisis what life looks and feels like now and it might always be thi #way. i hate that getting covid feels like an inevitability even though i wear n95s and don’t go anywhere but work and have basically 0 #social life and have put my life plans on hold to wait for this thing to pass when it probably never will. i hate that lockdown was better #and easier than this in some ways because at least back then people were still scared and there still felt like hope and there was clear(is #) guidance and free testing and vax sites and whatever. i hate that free testing and public health dashboards showing covid rates and vax s #sites and all that shit have fucking disappeared even though the variants going around now are more contagious than ever. i hate the #mortifying ordeal of being the only person (or one of the only people) wearing an n95 and sometimes the only person wearing a mask at all. #hate that so many things have been lost and we are not taking time to grieve them or make sure that we are okay and will be okay. i hate #being scared every time i swallow. i hate how there is literally no way to tell if you will get long covid and no way to reduce your chance #of getting long covid or covid at all (aside from masks) just ways to make the symptoms less severe. i hate trying to bring people together #and stay away from people at the same time. i hate all the life that covid has taken out of me and the people i love even though thank god #know more people who haven’t gotten it than who have but actually that may not be true idk. and i HATE that because of covid and how #egregiously badly it has been handled everyone is just like.. perpetually tired and sad and we’ve accepted mass illness and death and #accepted that disabled people (esp those who are marginalized in other ways) are disposable when actually no fucking human being is #disposable and everyone should be able to live happy connected healthy lives and we could’ve ended this shit in EARLY 2020 without having t #deal with any of this absolute fucking NIGHTMARE. like god. i remember sobbing hysterically thinking we would be dealing with covid for 18 #months and now we’re coming on 3 fucking years and lockdown is over but the danger is even worse than it was and like.. no one cares anymor #and it fucking sucks lmfao. i am so tired. i need to move out. and i miss my friends and i miss my life and i miss having fewer things to #constantly worry about and i can’t believe how good and simple life was before this stupid shit. #delete later #i wasn’t planning on going on a huge rant lol sorry it’s just what’s on my mind this morning

[impossible-rat-babies]

sitting here in EW feelings like maybe eyrie did die. like was dead for a real hot minute

#endwalker spoilers #like sitting on the ragnarok coming home #the white sheet over their body. the having to close their eyes l #they do come back though—it’s kinda freaky in that way of you don’t expect a corpse to suddenly take a huge breath and scare the shit #out of everyone nearby #I’ve also been thinking about their recovery and how it’s both the best and the worst times #oc: eyrie kisne

[unproduciblesmackdown]

nonzero people podcasting about goosebumps the musical & it’s never enough. neither extensive enough nor enthusiastic enough & that’s coming from me which is the entire explanation for the assessment. 

on the same topic but a completely different point, i was just appreciating how extra fun i always find understudy buddy to be. and obviously i would like to think that maybe tina & the unit that is brooke & zeke are like, more neutral to amicable after the show lol. tina is a lot of fun as is, like, automatic shoutout to any character just being like, getting in the way being offputting / a pain and all powered by one’s own intensity, that’s fun & funny & who among us? and like yeah she’s also definitely doing the mean girl thing like, in the song as mentioned lmao like please, rein it in. and maybe she will, but then when other suspects are being kind of crossed off the list just before thee play she manages to just be regular supportive towards brooke, so that’s promising lol. and also just shoutout to the Fun of a lively antagonistic role, great stuff, delightful number for her there, and sure helping ramp things up. and zeke and brooke not just showing up for this one horror musical (also i would love to shoutout zeke’s plight there lmfao like, the experience of original readers of poto where the twist is “nah it’s not a phantom it’s just some wet pathetic guy” like he’s so hyped to be The Ghost Lead and then he’s like oh god i’m a romantic lead in a hole & i’m five & it’s embarrassing & i even know my counterpart irl (the bestie) like i guess technically the role’s a ghost by the end & good for the mystery mask wearing element being exciting still) but that they were unnamed ensemble members in guys & dolls & saw that through, they’re bringing support & appreciation for the theatre, & on the flipside tina might just enjoy the theatricality & attention from it but she was having a great time informing everyone that on top of their haunted school it’s a specifically haunted (cursed) play, so maybe she can also relate to zeke and brooke’s horror genre appreciation. and she might warm up at all to zeke when he’s cleared about the fact he wasn’t trying to prank their efforts into oblivion, at least to the same degree she can manage to provide regular supportiveness to brooke when it comes to it. and on the one hand, despite brooke and zeke sure seeming like that hell of an established unit like probably just have their [socializing at school] foundation covered by hanging out w/each other, they could let brian in on that easily enough for something of a triumvirate, but now not only are they bffs since 5ever who love a genre together, they sure had an Adventure in emile messing up by [you never try to scooby doo villain your way through it] but also doing it all wrong where they think You’re the danger here & that you’re going to murder them, plus it’s scary for real exploring the darkness elevator underground tunnels anytime, but also now they have this off the shits experience with that new guy friend who was a ghost for real. kind of its own bonding element & maybe you wouldn’t exactly let anyone else in on it, much less like, tina lmao. she might be interested in The Legend but she was also super interested in telling everyone all about it, and idk, difficult and weird to explain, thing it’d all be quite the stuff to process for one lol like sure we love drama and ghosts and attention too but it’s A Lot. ghosts are real and i online dated one except across time rather than space and he was just some guy hanging out and i also hung out with him sometimes but then in the end it got weird b/c he was the suspicious understudy all along and this role is really not coming through....but also hey, could talk about it all eventually, and tina’s got plenty of context already. next year’s cast n crew party for the last show, be like hey guess what, b/c we’re solidly amicable now also

plus being extracurricular buddies like, ms. walker head in hands dealing with these three menaces lmao....although zeke wasn’t Really up to that much, tina’s sure committed to the show, etc. and it’s like, being a student or teacher or anyone else at a middle school is just always gonna be like that. could really be worse, she can handle it. and maybe she can know of the lore also, she’s out here engaging in irl drama and lore about like avenging her grandmother’s theatrical aspirations, or none of this would be going on lol. get used to these three and actually they’re reliable really, maybe tina will have learned to better accept not getting the dream role, which will be an easier time for everyone. but it’s just always gonna be a handful lol but all these kids were also all about putting on the play too, actually, yes maybe some problems arose from messing around with the platform but they could’ve been worse problems (queues of ghosts in line for their turn at finally achieving one last goal of performing their part in this one damn play lol) and does seem like it’s engineering issues inherently rather than Just messing around backstage unsupervised which isn’t often otherwise going to be fatally risky, and maybe just give people a rundown about the riskiness of things that Isn’t emile’s botched effort where he mostly just made children afraid of Him. like idk, i did shop class throughout middle school, we avoided injury w/successful cautionary rundowns. brian’s one other last goal could’ve been about safety measures, but whaddaya gonna do. anyways point is, hanging out after school for theatre purposes and having an understanding and bonus patience affordance with the teacher in charge of this and maybe everyone gets to know the Real Ghost Story or maybe it’s zeke & brooke’s personal inside secret, it was already a shared adventure for all involved even if they didn’t get the Full story the way those two did, all of them are up for Drama and for Horror, they’re good to go. and good for them

#goosebumps the musical #like let's do a play by play of the show And this kind of meandering musing about any and all elements lmfao #funny when the [just some guy] was clearly not at all intending to murder them but so far as they know he might've. which yeah terrifying #and their Real Ghost was a just some guy new friend. brian truly just hanging out like yep what's up everyone. yeah i'll paint a set #and i can't get over book brian being all the more just So Nervous in general lmao that's like his whole thing #like is this some extra anxiety you get when you die & then have been a ghost abt it? maybe. or maybe he's just already like that. #either way lol. i Love how they talk abt maybe encountering an actual ghost via the platform & brian's like omgg nooo stopp ;m; too scary #if you're a kid who would've been scared of ghosts then....just b/c you happen to be one yourself. still like omg no stopppp #but zeke & brooke aren't too overly terrified of this possibility of Real Ghosts though it Is clear they're both scared in the abyss there #like. yeah fair. you're like eleven and that is scary for anyone and does involve various elements of not insignificant danger #and it's more fun when they Aren't utterly unfazed by everything happening in the story ofc. which they are not #and who knows maybe zeke's a bit put off about actual ghosts lmfao like he Did get ghost attacked. whoops #hopefully as simply disorienting as alarming rather than like yeah i had a whole fight for my life back there while gradually smothered #things that have you looking up folklore abt ghosts' breath stealing ability. like fatally or just a lil sip... #well i don't know. where is the fog patch haint warding tradition recited humorously from perhaps my grandma as the lore source there lol #not online i suppose. go figure. anyways theatres & ghosts & superstitions? already going on. the ghost light for sure. just add some more #and be all the more earnest with it lol. hey why do you always say ''brian no more of that shit please i don't care if you wanna be man 7'' #might still be more like ''i hope emile who's an alive guy out there doesn't try to kill me :/'' lmao fr.... #maybe he makes himself scarce a while but returns also. kids probably wouldn't tell a soul so long as he doesn't try to scare them abt it #kind of difficult to ask these children straightforwardly to just not say anything to anyone once they know you're here but #they probably don't wanna go exploring back down there again. did that. just don't haunt the plays or seem like you'll kill them #and like who knows maybe a lot of ghosts w/goals hanging around & they're generally Just Ppl in gb situations thusly #your new friend even if they're really more Mortal than you for the temporariness of it all; ideally #given that they Do have some goal to fulfill & then they'll peace out a ways. really hardly the worst gb style of situation to be in #it's the drama & mystery & theatrics....& the fun of like layers of genre awareness lol. you like horror & you know you're kinda in A Story #the play; the play having a mystery history & possible curse; school's haunted; someone's sabotaging you; fake janitor; suspicious behavior #and a couple of protagonists who are liable to go looking for some degree of trouble for the fun of it.... #anyways what a setup. lot going on lol. lot that Did go on. including the show; congratulations to everyone just about

[quietwingsinthesky]

Hate the Winchesters not because it’s bad but because every time I watch an episode I wake up at 3 AM to my brain trying to construct a better version of the show out of scraps

#thinking rn about what if they went more early season spn and leaned into American urban legends #specifically thinking about. headless horseman episode. #headless horseman killing people who try to leave Lawrence #it’s going to go after Mary at some point obv. She’s trying to keep people from leaving town #but in doing so she accidentally gets on the ghost’s radar #imagining her like. wrecking her car into someone else’s. just to keep them from leaving #she’s saving their life! they don’t know it but she is! but then as she’s getting out of her car to go make sure they’re okay #turns around and oh shit. headless horseman. run #meanwhile Carlos and Latika have figured out the whole ‘can’t cross bridge with running water’ thing that I think is part of the mythos? #anyway the point is that Mary’s running. and then Carlos pulls up after having driven here like a madman. blew right past the horseman. #van back doors open for Mary to jump in #and then they fucking book it #shit is falling out of the van all over the road #and latika was in the back to help Mary climb in so they’re holding hands (this is because they r gay. also. important detail.) #they get rid of the ghost. maybe there’s a reason for the bridge thing. maybe he got his head chopped and his body thrown in the river #scare the ghost to not existing like the guy from the fear illness episode #but the three of them make it over the bridge. and the thing is. they’re free. nothing is chasing them. Carlos could keep driving. #he’s not going to though. because the thing that keeps everyone in Lawrence. the thing that’s got them trapped. it’s not a ghost. #I think there could be something to that. you know how the thesis of spn’s pilot was ‘you can never go home’ #what if the thesis of the Winchesters was ‘you can never leave home’ #a v different kind of horror story #mary is going to die in this town. she’s never going to escape. and the thing is that Carlos and Latika love her. they do. #which is a terrible thing in the spn universe. gets you as tangled up and trapped as the person you love. #presumably they’re going to end up like Mary’s other old friends that are referenced as having suspicious deaths in s3 of spn #and we know that. they don’t. #anyway you may have noticed John wasnt in this at all #that’s because I would just. write him out. of the hunting parts. #he’s the love interest guys. he’s not here to contribute to the plot. he’s here to make heart eyes at mary. #(and ultimately damn her because she loves him and saving his life will be what jumpstarts the whole mess.) #also no weird aliens in this version. samuel’s just kidnapped by a run of the mill demon. which is actually a threat.