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johnnymundano · 5 years

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The House by the Cemetery (AKA Quella villa accanto al cimitero) (1981)

Directed by Lucio Fulci

Written by Dardano Sacchetti, Giorgio Mariuzzo and Lucio Fulci

Music by Walter Rizzati

Country: Italy

Language: Italian

Running Time: 88 minutes

CAST

Catriona MacColl as Lucy Boyle (credited as Katherine MacColl)

Paolo Malco as Dr. Norman Boyle

Ania Pieroni as Ann (babysitter)

Giovanni Frezza as Bob Boyle

Silvia Collatina as Mae Freudstein

Dagmar Lassander as Laura Gittleson

Giovanni De Nava as Dr. Freudstein

Daniela Doria as the first female victim

Gianpaolo Saccarola as Daniel Douglas

Carlo De Mejo as Mr. Wheatley

Kenneth A. Olsen as Harold (credited as John Olson)

Elmer Johnsson as the Cemetery Caretaker

Ranieri Ferrara as a victim

Teresa Rossi Passante as Mary Freudstein

Lucio Fulci as Professor Mueller (uncredited)

The House by the Cemetery is a disjointed 1980’s schlocker by the entertainingly inconsistent Italian director Lucio Fulci. As movies go, it’s terrible. As Lucio Fulci movies go, it’s quite good. As horror movies go, it’s kind of for diehards only; not because it’s so harrowing (it isn’t) but because you need to forgive its many, many failings in order to enjoy it. It’s not for everyone, but then what is, besides death. Appropriately enough for a house by a cemetery there’s plenty of death in The House by The Cemetery, so much in fact that several of the characters are in fact dead to start with. Ghosts then, except for the guy in the cellar with a head like a burn scarred testicle.

Of course this cellar is in The House by the Cemetery, and of course our expendable family move in. Lucy (Catriona MacColl; good) is a mum ,and the ‘70s not really having ended yet in 1981, that’s about all she gets to play with. Norman (Paolo Malco; not bad), her husband is an academic studying (something I either missed or which is less than explicitly stated). Whatever he’s studying it has a high mortality rate (it’s probably Sociology; tough gig that). See, Norman’s colleague, Dr Peterson, murdered his wife and hung himself, while studying (mumble mumble) at the house by the cemetery. Norman and his family move into the house (by the cemetery; that’s important) to complete Dr Peterson’s research into (cough cough). Even before they leave the city, Bob (Giovanni Frezza), their small son, is having spooky experiences which I feel legally obliged to state in no way suggest someone has been watching The Shining (1980) and taking notes. In many ways The House by the Cemetery is like The Shining, but The Shining written not by Stephen King, but by a glue huffing Guy N Smith.

Wait, I think Norman is researching the house itself (?), because there’s a lot of talk in libraries about a one time resident Dr Freudstein (yes, really; I know, I know) who killed his family back in Victorian times. A kind of academic boon for Norman’s researches then is that Dr Freudstein (I mean, wow, that name...just wow) is actually still in the basement, kind of dead but kept mobile due to his non-specific “experiments”, when he isn’t doing those he presumably sits very quietly in the basement. The perfect tenant then, except every now and again he’ll come up and stab someone repeatedly with a poker, or saw through their neck or stab them in the head. Obviously no one would want to live in a house where defrosting the fridge could be suddenly interrupted by a maniac with a cheese melt face ripping your throat out. So, cunningly, the realtor (Dagmar Lassander; angry and confused alternately) just never mentions this offal faced tenant, or even the fact the basement is boarded up. But then it seems to be boarded up with magic nails because old face ache nips in and out smoother than a teenager sneaking down for a midnight snack. Mind you, I’m not sure the realtor knows what’s going on, she seems quite surprised when the man with a boiled arse for a face starts stabbing her really slowly with a poker. So maybe no one know he’s there? Which makes precisely no sense.

But, unlike scarlet corn syrup and maggots, sense is in short supply in The House by the Cemetery. I mean, the cemetery isn’t just by the house; some of it’s actually in the house. There’s a tomb stone inlaid into the ground floor. Because, reasons. Unfortunately, it is established that there is a huge basement under the house so that makes no sense. A lot of this illogicality is intentional as Fulci’s obviously going for a dream-like state, and every now and again that works; dream logic is light on sense and nightmare logic doubly so. Creepy child trapped in photograph, shop window dummy prefiguring death by decapitation, a kid playing hide and seek with a ghost, these are all flesh crawlingly good fun. The problem is that this dream logic saturates every scene, even the mundane stuff, so the whole thing just ends up bafflingly irrational.

People wander about ostensibly doing normal things but none of it makes much sense. At one point the nanny, Anna (who is played by Ania Pieroni as though she is possessed, for no clear reason), is cleaning up a massive blood trail in the kitchen when Lucy, not unsurprisingly, asks what she’s doing. Anna stares at her like she’s on a crack high and the conversation moves on. Lucy apparently is more used than I am to massive blood trails in the kitchen. About half way through the movie you realise you have no idea why any of what’s happening is happening, or even why any of the characters are where they are, or doing what they are doing. The only thing you are sure of is several of them have died violently at the hands of someone with an inside out face, and before moving into a house you should always check the basement.

To be fair to The House by the Cemetery, the version I saw was dubbed and this dubbing was just terrible. Just bloody awful stuff. It was so terrible it did the cast no favours whatsoever. The kid, Bob, is largely irritating because of the dubbing, which sounds like a someone doing a shrill impersonation of Little Lord Fauntleroy. When he’s allowed to act without speaking he’s remarkable, largely because in those bits he looks shit scared out of his wits. Seriously, he looks pretty genuinely distressed, I hate to imagine what they were putting him through. I’m sure he shows up in the jeep at the end of Demons (1985), so clearly he survived the filming experience. Basically, The House by the Cemetery is probably a much better experience viewed with subtitles, but I doubt even that would actually catapult it into “good”. It is, however, very enjoyable and a great deal of fun, with some really quite nifty direction by Fulci. Bonus: contains a fantastically ridiculous bat attack.

#The House by the Cemetery #Movies #Horror #Italy #Lucio Fulci #Catriona MacColl #Paolo Malco #Giovanni Frezza #1981 #The 1980s #Quella villa accanto al cimitero

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arachnofille · 6 years

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WHAT IS YOUR MUSE LACKING?

Virginia Esther Merrye is lacking: 1. dreams 2. good taste 3. THAT

Comments: 1. patently false ! she’s all dreams & no common sense -- next ! 2. as the late mr. schlocker said, “this has gone well beyond the boundaries of prudence & good taste ! ” 3. YES , THAT ! she wants THAT ! give it !

tagged by: @vaguerdoubts , thank you !

tagging: @allstitchedup , @pumpkin-royalty , @patiencetaught , @diewithouthim , @patrickhockstetter , @godsickk , + anyone else ! sorry in advance if y’all have already done it

#at this point telling the merrye sisters they lack good taste makes you braver than any u.s. marine

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her-hell · 5 years

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Am I the only one who gets a little choked up when Bruno’s trying to explain there will be more Mr. Schlockers’ and he’s just so upset by the prospect - like, you can actually see how tired he is & then Virginia and Elizabeth’s little faces when they promise no one’s going to make them leave him.

Fuck me up.

#† I Just Get The Coffee - Don't Rope Me Into This !!! † ( OOC. )

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raven0276 · 2 years

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After the Second World War, Marty Schlocker served with the LAPD for twenty-five years. During the war he was assigned to the 17th Airborne Division. He was captured in the Battle of the Bulge and became a prisoner of war for five months until his liberation. He is still strong as an ox for 97. www.theWWIIRifle.com

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Best Horror Comedies of the 21st Century

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Spooky season isn’t just about candy and trauma (although we enjoy those things as much as the next person), it’s also a perfect time to gather together for giggles. Horror and comedy go hand in hand and as well as the classics like An American Werewolf in London, Young Frankenstein and Army of Darkness the 21st century has coughed up plenty of new gems. We’ve rounded up 13 of our favourite to delight and amuse you this Halloween.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Just because you’re a redneck, it doesn’t make you a psycho, in this deceptively adorable anti-slasher where a bunch of vacationing college kids keep accidentally getting themselves killed trying to escape from the harmless Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and his lovely friend Dale (Tyler Labine). Eli Craig’s directorial debut is gruesome, gory, and very funny, but the movie is more than just a gimmick: there are some top horror twists here, too.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Possibly the most iconic horror comedy of the 21st century, Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead is the first part of the director’s “Cornetto Trilogy,” which all riff on genre and all star Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Shaun is a “zom-rom-com” which sees Pegg’s leading man trying to win back his girlfriend in the face of a zombie apocalypse. It’s achingly British in its humor but has become an international cult classic, with cosplayers regularly dressing as Shaun. It came out in 2004 but still completely holds up today.

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

The movie that spawned the excellent TV show is a deeply funny mock-doc about vampires who share a house, written and directed by Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, who also star alongside Jonny Brugh and Ben Fransham. Set and shot in Wellington, New Zealand, the humor is silly, self-effacing, and specific. A genuinely hilarious riff on vampire and werewolf tropes.

Psycho Goreman (2020)

One of the most joyful new horror comedies sees an all-powerful force of evil bested by the small girl who inadvertently releases him from cosmic jail. Problem child Mimi and the brother she bullies discover they can control “The Arch-Duke of Nightmares” and rename him Psycho Goreman. They just want to play games, he just wants to destroy the universe. Packed with over-the-top gore, great gags, and a surprising level of sweetness, this is an ’80s-style schlocker with a modern twist.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Directed by Drew Goddard, who went on to make the stylish, and star-studded Bad Times at the El Royale, this clever, surprising, love-hate letter to the horror genre is packed with rug pulls, reveals, and gags. The movie juxtaposes a typical gang of teens taking a doom-laden vacation and the white collar workers who are pulling the strings behind the scenes. If you somehow missed it–go watch! Now! If you’ve seen it before, this is a movie that rewards repeat viewing.

Slaxx (2020)

This Canadian eco-horror about, yes, killer trousers, which played the festival circuit before making its way to Shudder, is actually smarter than it appears. Slaxx is set around a trendy designer store which purports to be ethically sound but is anything but. Yes, there are multiple pants-based slayings as a sentient pair of jeans exacts its bloody revenge on the store workers, but there’s also dark satire and a killer sense of humor at work here–and surprisingly a catchy, cool dance routine to boot.

Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland: Double Tap seemed a little late when it came out in 2019, but that shouldn’t detract from the original, which was a refreshing take on the zom-com with great performances from its now-starry cast. Zombieland sees a bunch of misfits who name themselves after their respective hometowns navigate the apocalypse via a strict set of rules. Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin, and Woody Harrelson star in this zippy comedy with heart, and a surprise cameo to die for.

Trick ’r Treat (2007)

If a film ever truly captured the spirit of Halloween it’s this one. Michael Dougherty’s seasonal anthology movie weaves together four stories with a wraparound that brings just the right level of chills and giggles–it manages to be both funny and scary without compromising either. A murderous school principal, a bus driver with a horrible past, teenage girls reclaiming the night, and a little kid dressed in a burlap sack bring the Halloween spirit to life in this cult movie with a cool cast including Brian Cox and Anna Paquin.

Happy Death Day (2017)

This Groundhog Day-style slasher sees college student Tree Gelbman (Jessica Rothe) get murdered on the day before her birthday, only to discover she’s stuck in a time loop and destined to relive the day over and over. It’s up to Tree to work out who’s been killing her, while fixing some bad life choices along the way. Blackly funny with some good kills–even if it is, largely speaking, the same person being killed–Happy Death Day is a glossy production from Blumhouse which spawned a sequel in 2019 that is also worth checking out.

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Karen Kusama’s tasty teenage satire was somewhat misunderstood at its release, criticized by some for not being funny or scary enough. But in recent years it has been embraced for its feminist themes as Megan Fox’s popular cheerleader Jennifer becomes demonically possessed and begins attacking the boys at her school. Amanda Seyfried is great as Jennifer’s best friend Needy, while Fox shines in her best role. Juno’s Diablo Cody wrote the screenplay, too, so the dialogue is as spiky and sharp as Jennifer’s teeth.

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

Breakout Japanese indie One Cut of the Dead is a film of three parts, and there are three stages of watching. Part one: Why does everyone keep going on about this low-budget zombie film? Part two: OK fine, it’s smarter than I thought, but get a grip people. Part three: OMG One Cut of the Dead is the greatest film ever, I love it so much, it’s so clever and funny and brilliant, I must tell everyone I know about One Cut of the Dead. That’s all you need to know.

Freaky (2020)

It’s a concept so cunning we wonder why it hasn’t been done before. Magic hokum means a teenage girl suddenly swaps bodies with a deranged serial killer. How will she convince anyone that he is really her, while stopping her possessed body from murdering her pals? Happy Death Day director Christopher Landon heads up this quirky slasher comedy which stars Vince Vaughn and Kathryn Newton having the time of their lives.

Slither (2006)

Before he became a comic book movie darling, James Gunn made his directorial debut with this icky black comedy starring Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker. A small town is invaded by an alien parasite who takes over the body of one of the residents, transforming him into a grotesque, tentacled being intent on breeding and infecting the townsfolk. Influenced by David Cronenberg’s Shivers and The Brood, this is tongue-in-cheek body horror only for the strongest of stomachs.

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thedarkbrood · 3 years

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Finsternis

Zoom-Vorstellung aus dem Residenztheater München

Mitten in der Coronakrise (oder vielleicht schon gegen Ende?) bringt das Residenztheater München doch noch ein Stück über die Flucht über das Mittelmeer auf die Bühne, oder besser gesagt in die Zoom-Konferenz.

Schauspieler Robert Dölle spielt die Solo-Erzählung live für eine kleine Gruppe an Zuschauer:innen, die nicht nur aus München sondern auch aus Nord- und Mitteldeutschland kamen. Ihm ist dabei wichtig, auch das Publikum wahrzunehmen, sodass wir angewiesen waren Kamera und Ton während der Aufführung eingeschaltet zu lassen. Dadurch entstand das Gefühl eines gemeinsamen Theatererlebnisses.

Inhaltlich ist das Stück ein echter Schocker. In Deutschland, weit weg von den eigentlichen Anlandungen ist man für das Leid Geflüchteter leider abgestumpft, umso intensiver nimmt man die Erzählung wahr. Davide spricht mit lokalen Helfer:innen, Rettungstaucher:innen, einem Bestatter und einer Pathologin um zu untersuchen, was es bedeutet wenn jährlich hunderte Menschen im Mittelmeer sterben.

Die Inszenierung ist dabei sehr persönlich gehalten, nicht nur durch die neue Möglichkeit des Kamera Close-Ups, sondern auch durch die Präsentation der Figur in einer Küche, bei der Arbeit. Durch die Regie von Nora Schlocker wirkt das ganze Stück als leiste man einem Freund Gesellschaft, der von seiner Reise erzählt und dabei Orangenmarmelade macht.

Der einzige Charakter, ein italienischer Schriftsteller, erzählt im Stück seine Reise auf die Insel Lampedusa nach, die er bereits kennt, aber von der Aufnahme von Geflüchteten, die aus dem Nahen Osten über das Mittelmeer anlanden. Gleichzeitig ist es eine Familiengeschichte über seine schwierige Beziehung zum Vater und den an Krebs sterbenden Onkel.

Der biographische Originaltext stammt von Davide Enia, der diesen in Italien auch selbst vorträgt/spielt. Aus seinem Roman „Schiffbruch vor Lampedusa“ hat er das kurze Stück in der italienischen Erzähltradition, es ist aber durch die Ähnlichkeit zum modernen Poetry Slam auch ohne Kenntnis des Ursprungs einfach zu verstehen.

Das Programm enthält dabei das kurze Stück und dazu eine gute halbe Stunde Nachbesprechung, in der man dem Schauspieler und der Dramaturgin einige Fragen stellen kann. Das Format gefällt mir sehr gut. Durch die kürze und Gefühlslastigkeit ist die Zoom-Aufführung von der Anstrengung lange nicht mit Stundelangen Online-Vorlesungen vergleichbar. Zudem kann man Theaterproduktionen auch überregional erleben, wann hätte ich sonst mal ein Stück aus München sehen können? Ich und andere Zuschauer:innen hoffen jedenfalls, das dieser neue Modus auch bei live-Betrieb noch etwas erhalten bleibt, laut Schauspieler und Dramaturgin Almut Wagner ist dies zumindest im Gespräch.

#resi #enia #flüchtlingskrise #mittelmeer

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