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So it has been awhile since I used Solidworks for anything– I think I only had one class a few years ago where we religiously were sitting and trying to figure it out in order to complete final project report requirements. I have literally forgotten everything, but for some reason the one thing I did not forget was how to set a background… Now I can look at pretty scenery while struggling

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Throughout my life I have had trouble with my career choices. During my early elementary school years, I obviously had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was only around the fourth grade that I began taking my own aspirations somewhat seriously. Throughout the rest of my time in elementary school and middle school, I had a lot of different career aspirations: Detective, archaeologist, music producer, photographer, cook, restaurant manager, and seaman. Those last two were the results of taking a career aptitude test. However, it was not until late into my second semester of the eighth grade that I thought I realized what I should be: a video game writer.

Well, not exactly. I wanted to be the person who came up with the ideas for video games, but I had no idea what title that person went by. I eventually learned that they were called a “game designer,” but then I found out that “designer” is what every member of the development team is called, and then I found out that the person in charge of a game’s development is called the “director”. However, the idea for a game doesn’t always come from the director—it can come from any member of the development. Besides, “video game director” is a position you have to be promoted to, so I would have to start as something else.

Unfortunately, I did not learn most of this until the twelfth grade. I think I was late into the school year too by this time. I tried finding as much information as I could throughout high school, but it was not until I was about to graduate that I found anything that was actually helpful. Also, there are barely any video game companies in the state I grew up in. The number one problem is that this type of career goal requires a good fallback or backup career; although I feel like everyone should have some sort of backup for their primary career goals, regardless of what those goals are. This lack of a secondary career path led to one of the biggest mistakes in my life: rushing into college.

I graduated from an online high school in August 2010, and then enrolled in college the very next month. I chose retail management as my major, thinking that I could pursue a career in selling video games as my backup for a career in creating video games. However, I badly needed a job to pay for tuition, and I eventually stopped doing my assignments to focus more on the job hunt. I really should have thought it over more. By the way, I promised myself that I would never, ever take out a loan in my entire life, so student loans were not an option for me. I loathe the idea of having to spend the rest my life paying back money.

Over a year after I first enrolled in college, I enrolled in a career school, choosing hotel/restaurant management as my major. This time, I did put a good amount of thought into this decision before going through with it, and I had help from family to pay for tuition. Then I had my first lesson. Right there, in the very first text that I was assigned to read, I was told that a diploma in hotel/restaurant management did not mean anything without some work experience. I should have switched majors right then and there, because it was basically telling me that this entire course was pointless, but no, I didn’t; I stuck with the course, earned my diploma, and then failed miserable at finding any sort of job at any hotel or restaurant. I think the biggest problems were that I had written that I would not cook meat in my resume, and that I lived in a town full of close-minded people who did not believe in online education.

At some point while reading this, you were probably thinking, “Why not aim for a degree in computer science? That way you could get a job as a video game programmer, and you would have computer skills that could get you jobs in several other industries as well.” That is because I hated computers, and did not want any job that revolved around them. However, in late 2012, I realized that computers are just going to become more and more important in every job out there, so I had to get more used to them. I decided to go all-in with this and re-enrolled in college for an associate of science in graphic design.

On December 3, 2015, after almost three years of College Take Two, I earned my degree; but there were two problems. Halfway through my course, I realized that I care way more about the stories and characters from my video game ideas than I did actual gameplay, and that I should be trying to turn my ideas into TV shows instead of video games. That’s actually how they started out, by the way. During the second half of elementary school, I began coming up with ideas for TV shows. Late into middle school, I imagined those shows getting video game adaptations. I then exclusively imaged them as video games. As a result, when thinking about what I should do for a career, I decided I should turn these imaginary games into reality. The second problem was that there was way less demand for graphic designers than I thought, at least where I lived. I pretty much had to apply to jobs out of state, but no-one was willing to do interviews over the phone or webcam. I couldn’t even get jobs in cities I could drive to, because I never got my driver’s license! I couldn’t, there was no-one to teach me and I hate driving!

It took so long to get hired for a job that was related to my field. I eventually got a work-from-home contract job as a photo editor, adding new backgrounds to pictures of cars and trucks so they could be used for advertisements. I hated this job. At first, it was OK. I was fine with it. Over time, I got better at it; but at some point, I peaked, and there were just not enough tasks for me to take. Not only was I never able to make enough money to move out and live on my own, but I eventually got worse at the job, which got more and more stressful as the solitude and monotony got to me.

After a year of working at this job, I decided that I needed a change in career. After three months of carefully thinking about it, I enrolled at my local community college to get a degree in therapeutic massage. Unfortunately, I was unwilling to ask my relatives to help me cover tuition again, and my photo editing job wasn’t paying enough to help, so I had to take out a student loan. I promised myself I would never take out a loan, and I broke that promise. To this day, I hate myself for doing that.

Towards the end of my first semester, I quit my job as a photo editor, which was negatively affecting my health. I got one A and three B’s for my first semester, but I dropped two of my second semester classes before it ended. I could no longer get a degree in massage therapy, but I could still get a vocational certificate. However, I had to transfer to another school in another state. I was homeless during my time at this college, and the massage therapy class was in danger of shutting down due to a lack of students. I liked massage therapy, but I had to drop out.

Now I’m living in Canada with my birth family, working another job I hate while waiting out a pandemic so I can find a job in retail or entertainment. There is a lesson here that I want everyone reading this to take away from my story: do your researching and think very carefully about what you want to do for a career. Do not rush into college before knowing what you want to study or what you want to do once you graduate. If you don’t know what to do by the time you finish high school, then take a year off; take two if you have to! Just don’t rush into your post-high school life, or you may just regret it.

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Everyone I love my choir teacher. I emailed him in the middle of summer break and he got back to me the next day with not only the names of the songs I was requesting and not only the PDFs of them but he also complimented my singing voice and look. One time this man told me he just liked singing with me and I rode that high for a week. He’s probably the best person at school ever

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the kids in my math class pretending the calculators are phones: “hello yes this is my new i phone 134874839 let me just call my friend” *types in random numbers*

kid from across the classroom: *holding a calculator up to his ear* “hello this is john speaking”

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Today I come with an artstyle and theme very different from the rest here on the blog. If all goes well, a school here in my town will call me to illustrate their English textbook, and I am testing something that is more childish and simple kkk.

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Ooookay!  After two years of soul searching/panicking/screwing around, here we are.  Beginning my GMAT journey.  Test is December 12.  159 days to go! 

1.5 hours today: mostly familiarizing myself with the test structure and the background behind CAT testing.  I am taking my first practice test on Thursday and honestly am not expecting great results… it has been a WHILE since I have reviewed anything math related, but I am looking forward to finding my baseline.  

My study goal is to usually do 1.5 hours a day, 5 days a week. I also plan to take a practice test every 3ish weeks (test day would replace a study day.) 

If anyone has any advice or thoughts, please let me know!  I am looking forward to moving my career forward, and reconnecting with this community in the process. :) 


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I’d like to start off by talking about my experience at dinner tonight, during which we were all eating peacefully until out of the blue my brother looks at me and tells me my hair looks stupid. Okay, it was kind of childish, so whatever, but he goes on to talk about how bangs look so bad and that no one should have them, that mine look like I cut them myself and I looked really bad. I did not ask for his opinion, nor did I appreciate receiving it. But whatever, he has never been the most kind person, and I quite like my hair, so it shouldn’t matter. 

Oh but I must talk about last night as well. Last night, when my family was gathered and playing some board games, my stomach started hurting, quite a bit. And I had a headache the previous day so I wasn’t sure if I was getting sick or what, but in the moment I was in a fair amount of discomfort, and I told my mom so because I wished to be excused from the family activity to go lie down. When my dad decides to join in and say “maybe she’s pregnant” and laugh at his own statement. I did’t respond, but I can’t explain how upset that made me. I was on the fence about telling my parents about my boyfriend, I wasn’t going to do it, except he asked me if my parents knew about him and I had to say no, they didn’t, then I wanted to right that. I sat down in my dad’s office and told him, and I guess I should have expected it to come back to bite me in the form of such comments. It is upsetting because it undercut my current pain, and held implications that make absolutely no sense because I am currently in a different state, hundreds of miles away from said boyfriend. My dad seems to generally focus on himself, he doesn’t think about other people, or how they may feel if he says something. He has hurt my mom as well countless times with his careless speech.

So my family has thus been somewhat difficult as of late. I am all the more ready to get back to school and out of this house, hopefully never to return to stay for any amount of time close to what the duration of this summer has been.

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I hate the argument “If children all dress the same there will be less bullying” like no. No no no. Wrong.

I was bullied because of my clothes, and guess what when I completely changed my wardrobe it didn’t stop the bullying. A bully finds someone weak or really different from them and will hurt them in every way, using something they don’t like about them as a tool.

What you need is not to force children to wear expensive uniforms but rather educate your goddamn kids it’s not that fucking hard.

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