aghhh why do i suck at hair so much, it’s literally the only thing I have a legitimate passion for and I still can’t do it right.
I try and be forgiving of myself bc I didn’t have an easy time in school with crazy teachers and a lack of appropriate education and supplies but I still feel like I should be better than I am. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
you know what would be CRAZY……..if kids could learn at school and have fun gathering knowledge and being educated without developing severe anxiety and depression etc. because of all of the work they have to do and the incredible amount of stress and pressure and expectation that’s weighed upon them. also if they could not have back problems bc of bad posture and heavy backpacks that would b nice too,,
I sit in front of a pair of sisters in class, who often giggle. Sometimes, I think they’re giggling at me, or I’m afraid they’re pointing at my hair…
I hope they’re just giggling about their personal stuff. They haven’t been rude to me, that I’ve noticed. I could just be paranoid. I often am!
It’s just… ugh… after one girl already asked me in class if “that” is my “natural hair”, I’m so nervous about being found out. They won’t understand. This is why I’ve struggled so hard to make friends. I can’t trust anyone. Most people can’t comprehend trichotillomania, let alone have empathy for people who are afflicted by it.
I’m on the verge of dropping out of a multi-year program.
What do you do if you’re doing well academically, but you find the classroom overwhelming and each day in there feels like slow poison?
What do you do in a language class, in which you’re expected to talk, but you have extreme social inhibition? What do you do when you’re expected to divide into groups, but nobody knows you, so you’re always alone?
My mom just messaged me, “well quit then and do nothing”. “do nothing to fix your problems”. She thinks it’s a simple fix.
Two others were more supportive, but they think it’s because the language is difficult, not because of my personal challenges. Idk what to do.
On one hand, I don’t want to be known as a quitter because I dropped out. On the other, I have to take care of my mental health.
- a series of events -
me being an A+ student and acing all my classes
me developing anxiety near my final high school years
me wanting to do so well in school to get my best possible grade regardless of my anxiety bcs I’ve been raised to believe that having a mental illness should be frowned upon (even tho I KNOW it shouldn’t)
me trying to confront my mental illness and failing so I just start accepting it
me wanting to get back on top of my grades and do my best whilst my brain insists on having this “idgaf” attitude leaving me in a state of constant procrastination
will my mom stop talking about how hard this year is gonna be??? i KNOW it will me hard and i KNOW I’ll have to work harder but guess what? i don’t want to think about it because i can barely keep up doing the bare minimum
I have so much work left to do. And it’s all due by midnight. I need to learn time management.
This is really getting out of hand.
TELL MY WHYY
i literally just said that “I’M AFRAID OF JOINING CLASSES BC I’M SCARED OF MY CLASSMATES SEEING ME”
that mfing principal finalized, “ok ure gonna go to class and ure gonna be monitored”
???!/?#!??? FUCK YOU ????!$/?!#
Me walking into class late:
How Do You Get Rid of School Anxiety?
Mental health is something not everyone takes seriously. Go through this infographic and learn how do you get rid of school anxiety?
It’s hard to breathe and I’m just doing homework lmao
Me, getting a 98/100 in a national examination: it feels so good to be so young and have this fun and be successful
Me, dropping out two months later for a year because of the anxiety said exam caused me: but what about-
Me: I’m so successful!
I am trying to be positive, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t bawled my eyes out multiple times over the weekend because these polynomials are fucking murdering me. I’m never going to use this info in real life. WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW? Math with patterns - I can understand the concept of that. This has too many variables and methods and I freak out when I see that my answer, which I thought was logical, is wrong. FUCK THIS SO MUCH.
I haven’t had any downtime in weeks because I’m consumed with anxiety over this.
Oh my fokin gods
I had been told that on january we were gonna stop having online classes. Aparently people are dumb and everithing is worse than expected (again, wow. Big surprise) and we are gonna continue online next semester.
The anxiety is kicking in now. I hate it here.
Wooooo amazing news
Today i finnally managed to ask the teacher to check again my exam (ussually my anxiety doesn’t let me). My grade went from a 5 to a 8.5 (out of10). This exam is worth 30% of my final grade on this subject im so happy rigth now.
I am beyond done with my parents trying to force their expectations on me right now. I am drowning in assignments and feeling tired, anxious and stressed ALL the time. I can barely sleep because I feel like I am wasting hours in the day and when I try to sleep, my mind won’t shut up and let me. I am trying to survive on a day to day basis. I have no energy to think about what I am going to do years from now (especially in ye times of plague and pandemic). And my refusal to engage in their laundry list of plans does not mean I am not interested - I am JUST EXHAUSTED. I AM STILL BURNT OUT. I have no energy to think of these things whatsoever but stop belittling my desires and interests if I do not have the energy to engage with you every moment of every day at 300% energy levels because I have an actual academic life that is sapping me of all energy and motivation. Nor do I have the energy right now to decide if the major I am pursuing I really like. I have switched my majors once before and am doing academically better but it has been a grind for four straight years. I don’t know if I am truly interested in it because I don’t know if I have the leftover energy to be interested in everything.
I am doing nothing when I finish my classes because I literally cannot think of doing anything but sleep I am so tired. So no, I am not dreaming of accounting equations or interesting accounting strategies. I am trying to survive my major and keep myself alive and perhaps when I have energy to think about anything I will ponder it. I sometimes wonder if being in the grind since the day I was born (thank you toxic parents) has sapped me of the desire to be interested in anything that would lead me to a career.
Please stop sniping at me and including underhanded digs in every text you send though I have told you that the reason I am unavailable is because I am bone tired and stressed. Stop questioning my integrity, my character and my dedication just because I have had to step away from your toxic presence just to get my work done.
Ah yes i love it when I have so much school work I barely have enough time for lunch defiantly not fucked up at all