#school starts next week again

[viobearr]

she meduka my meguca til i walpurgis

#madohomu #kaname madoka #akemi homura #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #fanart #doodles #vio.png #(WE ARE SO BACKKKKK IM SO EXCITED TO START POSTING ON DAILY-MADOHOMU AGAIN WITH THIS NEW STYLE AAA) #(also just excited to draw again in general bc school is finally over next week... time to make those pmmm animation memes)

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[torchickentacos]

winter depression is here and I am ANNOYED about it

#not really a vent in tags. just bitching about it lmao #i am a creative extrovert who suddenly does not want to create or talk to people! #but i have been through this more than enough times to know that i need to start doing those things MORE #as to not get dragged into the depression spiral #and like for a lot of people it's just 'get outside more' #but my disabled ass isn't easily able to do that so it's just 'text more. discord more. draw more. read more. inside things more.' #which does work for me but is harder in some ways #i do not miss high school but at least it got me out of the house some #at least I do enjoy christmastime. i like the lights and the vibes and the winter flavors and scents of things #so i have that in the next few weeks to lean into #like idk. i know how to deal with this. i do it every year. it's more annoying than anything at this point #like. oh okay. life feels like a cloudy grey parking lot. again. it'll go away eventually. #and until then i just need to be a Normal Person About Everything if i feel like it or not #hate that feeling of going through the motions. everything is just emotional grey static

[cocrante]

Modern au where Haitham is a graduate student and Kaveh is a renowned young architect who always finds time to accompany his boyfriend to his exams.

If Haitham is feeling anxious, Kaveh tries to cheer him up by helping him review his coursework during the car ride and promising to pick him up after classes to celebrate together

#📌 : wip #kavetham #haikaveh #writing this more for myself than for the wip #exams start again next week #so scared #wheres my kaveh to accompany me to school? :(( #genshin impact

[thebirdandhersong]

hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead

#wish i had my support network but what with all my friends being so busy #with school work engagements marriage pregnancies housing issues #and my priests both up to their ears in work and all my older sister figures #having issues and more important things to deal with and my family being one of the sources of high stress #i dont have anyone to talk to or go to at the moment #so i need to figure that out before i have another health crisis because my body's starting to give up on me #(again) #on top of that there needs to be planning in place for the summer and next fall and graduation #i just want to stick my head in the ground like an ostrich and stay there!!!! instead of wading through this mess during midterm season #and having to start finals the WEEK after midterms end #complaining again sorry #i am so tired and trying to be cheerful/distracting myself only lasts a few hours #im trying. i promise im trying. but the world seems rather bleak right now #and it is very hard not to feel so very alone #anyway i love you all and i'll see you soon

[mike-wheeler-ik-what-you-are]

forget hot girl summer imma bout to have busy girl autumn and stressed girl winter

#so basically #big rant incoming #next saturday I have to go to verona with my family #my best fríend told me today that in TWO WEEKS she is having a red carpet themed birthday party #and I have to make the dress #I have to do the proficiency c2 exam this year to take #school starts in two days and I have done like 50% of my summer homework #I have to take a tech exam / certification this year too #I have to buy a new phone #I'm starting singing classes again #I have to go find the right gym and go to the gym #I have more internship hours to do #can't forget about my feminist school group #aaaaand my sewing lessons #yes I am going to be busy no don't ask me how I'm doing

[grapejuicegay]

pran gun 🤝 struggling to write a song on the beach about love while talking about their relationship with their partner and how without knowing it they went from two people who couldn't be friends to two people who couldn't be just friends

#this whole ep was bbs ep 11 coded i will fight you on this #we literally started with 'the sand the sea the breeze and us' #and then this song #and this dialogue #and the older mentor figure giving them a place to stay on the beach and helping them out #i cannot believe i just compared uncle tong to yak but this is where this metaphor is going hop on board #anyway this is to say don't trust the trailers they're liars they're doing it again #(watch me be clowned next week but that's fine i'm keeping my hopes up this time around) #my school president #my school president series #bad buddy #bad buddy series #bad buddy brain rot #this isn't about bad buddy but when is anything not about bad buddy anymore #phi bbs and nong msp

[themeeplord]

No more summer for me :')

#starting school again next week #this might be a hard year but I'll try to prioritize my health

[shywhumpauthor]

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say that I’m probably not going to be putting out much writing for a bit. Like right now, I’m not actively working on writing anything. I feel kinda shitty about not writing though :/

I will probably (most likely, don’t want to say “definitely” though cause I know myself) put out some more short prompts/maybe some snippets in the next while but probably not any long pieces. Maybe. I don’t know maybe inspiration will strike tomorrow and this will all be a lie. But as of now, yeah.

​please stick with me here though I promise I’ll get back to writing soon.

I was also thinking about doing whumptober again, not sure if I will do it for a new series with characters or miscellaneous fills. Let me know?

#i feel crappy about not writing but also like #I started reading this book #and I read the first one in two and a half days #and I just got the second one Monday and I’m almost halfway through it #I’m really happy because it’s been a while since I’ve read a book and been excited like this #I stayed up late reading last night and it was just #such a good feeling #I haven’t done that since middle school #it’s been so long since I’ve found a book I could really get into #but also band camp starts next week #that’s two weeks long so idk what my writing will be like then #then school starts up again #my classes are a lot harder this year which I’m excited but also nervous for #and I have a job now so balancing everything’s going to take some getting used to

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤

#just a little diary dump: #i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment #she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me #+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her #school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes #and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help #then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only #1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it #down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior #but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so #i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder - #clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see) #hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad #and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol. #so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me #just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes #instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime #im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c: #im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol #i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood #she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me #which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well #im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah #im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel #so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have #to... be sad and just keep going forward #hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got #ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :(( #i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy #im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me

[iguessitsjustme]

hello friends i am back. just had a mental reset in a weird way but i feel much better now so i'm back to being silly goofy on tumblr

#rae irl #i had a very strange time away not gonna lie #i'm not counting the few hours i was here on saturday as being back really #but now i'm back to annoy you all #well sort of. i'll probably be on less next week for work reasons but i'll still be here #anyway accidentally formed a cult while i was gone #also had an entire mental breakdown and drank on a school night #realized i'm the only staff member at my job in my 30s and the next oldest is 5 years younger than me #send immediate assistance my desk mate quit so i am all alone and no one snarks with me #started watching anime again and also finished a book series i've been trying to read for years #there's more but i'm too tired and cold to keep typing #time to go reblog some things

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[crpingdeath]

my mom has a scan tomorrow to evaluate where she’s at with her cancer so i’m praying and begging that she’s still in remission and i’m trying to be hopeful and positive but like my chest hurts my stomach hurts my head hurts

#she’s doing really good and she just finished radiation 2 months ago so i feel optimistic #plus her doctor said her blood work is back to normal the last time we saw him. but i feel like we have such bad luck. #and the fact that she’s finally doing well and i’m starting school next week and we’ve been able to do some normal stuff again makes me #think it’s all about to be taken away again.

[astranauticus]

a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy

translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner

Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)

I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me

the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence

specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong

'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all

'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore

How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)

(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)

definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time

"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works

'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring

specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath

'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH

the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')

fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.

Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)

finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually

the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this

'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay

'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back

'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general

'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...

#rolling with difficulty #rwd starship #rwd professionals #my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j #im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers #ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes #bmadd11 my beloathed #/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so #its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon #i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020 #genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years #grammar is just weird sometimes #i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it #spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted #but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely #also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen #bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen #but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line #'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!” #post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all???? #did this instead of my programming homework :|

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎 #the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover #and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol #i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4 #years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes. #and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd #but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this #i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that #i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck #also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not #give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care #i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess #but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol #i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^ #the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur #here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school #i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional #so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-] #but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her #also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im #dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide #unrelated

[vazaez]

Quick thing i did in one of the school's computers after the teacher checked my assignment 🏃

#wild kratts #kratt brothers #chris kratt #wk chris #after he checked mine (i was the second one btw) he had to go one by ond with the rest of my classmates to check their assignment too #it was more of a verbal test+ showing him in the computer the process of whatever he asked n stuff #so when he finished he walked behind my chair again and saw it and asked me if i made it lol #i said yea obv #and he was like 'but you made it right now?? after you asked me if you could draw?' and i said yea again lmao #i think he thought i had started it last week and continued it today but i msde it from scratch and that kinda surprised him ig #Idk why tho because all the teachers know i draw #but anyways #now that i think of it i left the drawing in the school computer after i copied it into my usb #so i'll just pray no one in the next groups to use the computers recognizes him because that'd be embarassing af #cuz i even put my shortened name and school year in a cortner 💀💀💀💀💀 #THAT WAS SO DUMB WHY DID I DO THAT #i'll delete it next Thursday 🚶 #ms paint #vaz art ✨✨ #vaz ms art✨✨