#school stories 🏵️

[helenawa-art]

Tomorrow I have to go to school to get my official grades 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 everyone manifest that i have passed all

#school stories 🏵️

[thegoddessyuri]

Tittle: Dallae

Author: Choonae.

Genre: Yuri(soft), Recounts of life, Manhwa.

Status: Completed.

Sypnosis: Bo-eun has recently acquired a furry little roommate named Dallae (Korean for azalea), who she met in an azalea field. Dallae has her own schedule, though, and comes and goes as she pleases. Meanwhile, Bo-eun can’t seem to stop dreaming about a missed friendship in high school – her name is Saeyeon. Oddly enough, it was around the time that Dallae started showing up that Bo-eun started having recurring dreams of Saeyeon…

This story has two (or is it three?) main characters, and they’re all hiding a secret from each other.

🌼🌻🏵️💮🌸🪷🌷🌺🥀🌹🌼🌻🏵️💮🌸🪷🌷🌺🥀

#yuri manga #yurigirls #girls love #manga #girls love girls #lgtbq #yuri edit #gl manga #gl manhua #gl manhwa #manga recommendation #shoujo manga #manga aesthetic #romance manga #manga art

[clawbehavior]

Hello, I hope you are having a lovely day/night 💞🌷🏵️🍵

For the ao3 wrapped:

11,12,15,18

omg these asks led me on a trip down memory lane and made me so excited for my biggest WIP (which has also been a pain in my ass), so tysm for sending them anon ❤️❤️🙏

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hands down 'everything everywhere all at once', my modern au where gaon drops out of law school when his parents die and falls for their private money lender, kyh, against his better instincts. here's the funny thing: i intended to complete in one one week with 3 chapters published in 3 days!! i started it in January 2023, nearly a year ago. 

i love this story so much. i wanted to write a gentle kyh for gaon so badly, but that's difficult to do for canon unless i wrote them post-canon. so i made an angsty au. this story was also my first true foray into FF writing on a03 years and years after i had put content creation aside, and the story ended up becoming a gateway to a totally new side of TDJ fandom. people share so many beautiful ideas about the lawful family in their story comments that fic writing feels like a rich conversation. so many times i have written gahan one way to read somebody's thoughts in the comments and go ahhhh i didn't even think of that. hearing people's perspectives has been such a rewarding and crucial piece of writing bc i am a person who works best when sounding ideas off another. 

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

straight for the heart, lmao. i have three, all 95 per cent ready for publication, in that the story is fully written out and the dialogue is completely polished in some areas but i am missing a key part that's critical for bringing the story together. it's too clunky basically. 

for example, when i was writing 'i hope you are lonely' the sex tape fic, i had everything written except a single scene: i couldn't figure out how gaon publicly responded to the tape. this was a crucial part of the story because his emotion would set the tone for how comfortable he felt expressing sexual desire for yohan and thus the progression of their relationship. was he hurt and afraid? angry and sexually frustrated? wanting revenge or to move on? and how did all those emotions shape what he asked yohan for, a man who would give him whatever he wanted. so this nearly complete draft was sitting in my GD for weeks until a reader asked me when i was updating and while i was typing out everything above just how i wrote it for you some part of my brain suddenly woke up and came up with a solution. i published the fic the next day. 

all this to say that the 3 stories i have lined up for publication are experiencing the same thing. basically polished except for oooooone thing. i need to tease out what a character feels about a specific event to successfully build the tension until it ratchets up to unbearable levels and needs to be released right the fuck now, i.e. theyre going to talk about it or fuck it out or whatever. but until that piece comes to me....these fics remain in the drafts. who knows tho, maybe after this a03 wrapped my ADHD brain will pop back in and do it's darned job. 

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

all of them! i don't publish a multi chap unless i have the ending written. otherwise it stays a oneshot. rn i am excited for i hope you are lonely, elevator troubles, and everything everywhere all at once.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

isaac! i actually didn't realize this until you asked me in concrete terms, so thanks for helping me articulate the writing block i am having. it's the kang isaac in my money lender au. he does something that has significant consequences but needs plausible deniability for the story to work. i can't nail down why he does it tho. he meddles, and he's foolish and he causes trouble but not vindictively or deliberately. his heart is in the right place, but how do i write him without overly abusing the trope of the good guy who bumbled his way into something wrong? now that i'm asking myself this specific question, i may come up with an answer. 

thinking through this was loads of fun and a perfect way to spend lunch break pfft. you have yourself a good weekend 🎉🎉🥳🎉🎊🎉🥳

#the devil judge #bts with the writer #am writing #my fic ideas #anon ask #send me asks

[blueboi30]

I'm back from the maze!(school) and surprisingly I came back in one piece. So here's a funny story that happened to me during break time.

Me and my classmate ( who I call my dad): *just vibing and listening to music*

My classmate: you guys are so cute together!

Me: that's my dad-

-🏵️

LMAO

[schibi12]

🏵️,🌷, and🍀

🏵 which OC have you had the longest, what inspired them?

Ok so this might get long while I set up some context

I would say my first OC would be this high fantasy Game of Thrones/Minecraft Diaries world I have been building while daydreaming in the bus on my way school since I was in middle school and it had this group of rag tag heroes trying to defeat the corrupt king who usurp the throne and they are travelling across the land trying to get allies for the upcoming war/rebellion.

It followed 2 groups of characters

The first one had the goal to kill the king since they all had a personal vendetta against them like destroying their village, killing their parents or ruining their house's name (house as in elite family like game of thrones) and all come come from houses, formal training and well they are kinda privileged and don't know how the people have truly suffered under the corrupt king

🌷 is there a lesson for the readers in your WIP?

The second group are from small villages honest working folk and they have seen first hand the horrors that the king has done so they traverse across the land trying to build an alliance with the other villages so that they can bring down the king.

And the 2 groups do meet up in their travels and joined forces I don't remember some of the characters name but they had a disgraced knight, a rogue who is also the dragorne (the chosen one to protect the dragon race who is given the ability to turn into a dragon), a pair of siblings one who is a witch Annora and the other a guard Leoric and that's the first group, the second group is a woman trying to become a knight, an archer Arne , an orphan werewolf Riane and a man with demon blood Caleb.

We also follow the king and their children who he uses in their conquest and puts a lot of pressure and expectations on them causing some internal conflict between the siblings and well some of the siblings go to the good side.

And I'm gonna leave it here cause this world gets lore heavy and extensive.

I honestly don't know I just write a story and if you find a lesson or a message in it well that's cool.

🍀 which OCs would get along the best?

Addison and Tulip strangely they have some story parallels plus their theatre kid energy would just make them pals.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #ask game #oc #toon oc

[indigo-blueses]

As humans we are born with so much potential and then somewhere along the way society clips off our wings and still has the audacity to ask why we can't fly? 🧚‍♀️

Just read a story of how this one guy stopped writing because his high school teacher had told him that he'd never make it as a writer. Now he's become the best selling author of two books. 📖📕

We owe it to ourselves to go after the dreams other people think we couldn't achieve. Because how will you know if you don't try?🧩

Like Paulo Coelho said: "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting" 🎗️🏵️

#growth #Purpose #courage #confidence #dreams #potential

[freshairforrabbits]

Tbh you deserve this.

For circled me!Spider: 🍼🍨🍬🌹🍁🍎🍅🥕🥭🍑🧅🍋🍕🧈🍌🏵️🥃🥐🍹🍰💐🍈🍏🍐🥝🌿🌵🍸🌱🌸🧁🍩🥔

Thank you very much for all of these and I hope I was able to answer them sufficiently!!

There's a lot of the sexual grooming, Spider's unreliable perspective aspects in the Circled Me! Universe story that really leap the fuck out in these answers, so y'know, watch your steps out there everyone.

Answers for 'you circled me inside my room, i couldn't go another day' Spider from the OC interview questionnaire because fuck it, we ball 😼.

Tags: sexual abuse, incest, child abuse, medical trauma, child marriage, non-con, underage sex, victim blaming, sexual trauma, psychosexual horror, all those fictional fucking southern gothic themes, Recom Jake as his own content label

🍼 [BABY BOTTLE] What's your OC's first memory?

This is a tough one considering there's a lot of ways I could go with this, but what keeps coming to mind for reasons I cannot explain is his first solid memory being of a hospital room, of the smell, the crinkle of the bed, and the weight on his chest from a bad bout of pneumonia. That luckily his dad realized he was way more tired than usual and wasn't even interested in eating, and so he took him to the doctor just in case; which immediately had him being sent over to the ER.

It's the baby-sized IV cannula in the back of his hand, the gauze, tape holding it in place, the IV splint wrapped around it all, and the strange, scary environment, the beeping sounds, the nebulizer mask's plastic gouging at the sides of his face that launched two year old Spider into a state of awareness, this conscious sort of feeling, deeply unsettled with no words to describe it and nothing to do but hold a nurse's hand, and then his dad when he's allowed in. That he doesn't know what death is, but he knows that this is uncomfortable and it makes him cry and want his dad. And the memory sort of sticks and sticks for quite a long time, but the first time his dad slaps him it very quickly gets buried under an avalanche of smaller moments that add up very fast. Because his dad was a solid rock in that hospital, so even if the trauma was big, it didn't rock him quite like all the others, because after he came home healthier and on the mend, and with an inhaler he would have to use for quite a few years every time he did too much exercise, he seemed to drift apart again. With Spider's little brain much more online— well, it made for a situation that Spider almost wished he would get that sick again just so his dad would be right there at his side day and night like that all over.

🍨 [ICE CREAM] How does your OC compose themselves in stressful situations?

I think he does a lot of deflecting and denial, and that he'll turn his panic into anger (subconsciously) because that's what his daddy's done his whole life, and he has no one else to learn how to deal with emotions and stress from. It really does depend on the situation what he will do though, he's been through a lot of different stressors and in a lot of situations he'll resort to humor, laughing it off, and worming his way out of any tight spot with the sort of predilection cats have to get through impossibly narrow spaces. He's highly adaptable because he has to be, but not resilient, and will quickly cave under stress even if he doesn't believe he will or ever has. He would get so mad if someone pointed out how much he will avoid situations, get rid of things, and isolate himself simply to avoid said stress.

Something about traumatized kids and being fragile as fuck with a thorny exterior and the illusion of being impenetrable to keep themselves going for years and years.

🍬 [LOLLY/CANDY] What would your OC like to receive for Valentine's Day/as a token of love?

Probably one of those silly Valentine's candy grams because he's never really had the opportunity to exchange them, the schools he's been to, he's not there long enough to really make connections and he often misses chunks of school that get him dangerly close to being truant. And as a token of love just something that means a lot to a person being entrusted with him, he has stones and rocks on a shelf at home from Kiri, a little braided grass doll from Tuk, things from Lo'ak and Neteyam as well jewelry, bracelets he doesn't wear out of fear of losing them. Even the time they made God's Eyes (a votive of the Huichol), Spider keeps those hung in his room, five of them side by side on walls that are otherwise pretty bare.

Unfortunately, the tokens of love he receives now are considerably more overwhelming. Let's just say Jake buys Spider a Nintendo DSi and loves to hold over his head all the less than legal lengths he went to obtain it and bring it on their trip, pressuring him into sex on the regular because he's being so generous letting Spider break the no technology rule on the farm, in the camper, wherever they happen to be and Spider tries desperately to glue himself to the screen. Of course, Daddy's tokens of love aren't much different and just as damning/controlling meanwhile Spider wishes he was just loved like the sons he sees in his favorite films and action-thrillers where the dad keeps them all safe, keeps them going, where his dad will hold him tight and tell him he's scared to let go, but in ways that won't make his stomach do so many flips, his skin crawl, and his insides writhe.

🌹 [ROSE] Does your OC believe in true love? Why?

I think he did at one point, and maybe he thinks he knows what it is, but he never thought it was for him for a lot of reasons. That it was a storybook thing, the closest he would ever get is childish fantasies and stupid dreams where he would kiss pretty girls or pretty boys and they would make him feel safe as they slayed monsters and dragons together— the ones with blue scales, orange fire, and gold eyes, wicked, dripping teeth and long curling tongues. They would rescue him from his tower, riding off together, maybe someone even a bit older with bright eyes and dark hair and a warm smile; but he knows the love he gets from Jake and his dad is the kind of love he deserves instead. That it's the kind that makes his daddy look at him with pride more often than he ever did before. And so that has to mean something even if some part of him wants to shrivel up and disappear.

🍁 [MAPLE LEAF] What is your OC's favourite season? Why and what do they do during it?

Summer, not that he likes the heat, but the summer is when they consistently head up to the farm and those are his favorite days, weeks, months, depending on how long they stay. He's always liked Fall as well purely for the turn in weather (although where they currently live in Florida it doesn't make much of a difference, still it gets milder and the migratory birds arrive in droves), and he thinks it might become his new favorite as for the first time he's looking forward to school starting up again, because his dad and Jake have always respected homework as an excuse to be left alone and he's hoping, praying that it will be the same. He's hoping that he can crack open a textbook and stare down it, marking shit down, highlighting it as Jake sits at his desk fiddling with shit and making conversation, being a distracting asshole until Spider throws a pillow at his head and it will all go back to the way it was where every dirty thought stayed in his head and didn't leak out into the world, infecting everything and everyone.

🍎 [RED APPLE] Who does your OC value above all else?

Probably his dad, and Jake by proxy of being attached to his dad— because valuing Jake is also valuing Dad. Even if it's a serious internal struggle, there's this collision course, gravitational type pull that has him wanting to do anything and everything to impress his father, atone for how he's fucked him over by fucking his boyfriend behind his back (because it's all about internalized victim blaming in Spider's head) and which his dad reminds him of more than once, starting this whole thing that day he let Jake be all over him. He values his dad's opinion, his words, his gun and its bullets and every shooting lesson, the way he wants to crawl out from under the shadow of his mother's death being the result of his birth. (He once valued Kiri very, very much, maybe even more than his dad for a while, but ultimately he found himself feeling guilty about that. That somehow he might drag her down to his level and his dad was careful to remind him that Kiri was Augustine's kid still, that she hates his guts deep down in there just like her mother, that it's a lot of pity and not much else.)

🍅 [TOMATO] How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

I'd say pretty fucking misunderstood thanks to his dad. There's so many people who see him and just see this mini version of Miles Quaritch and that does not help shit at all in-universe. Not to mention he is now actively pushing people away to try and protect them in ways he doesn't even understand completely, only that it's instinct, that he has to be exactly what they think he is, flawed, damaged, devil child, terrible, rude, and unpleasant, destined to be all the nasty things he's overheard about his father while never knowing the whole story. Just that he feels responsible since it all went down around the time he was born. He is lashing out, snapping, rapid fire leaping through every trauma response that his brain is desperately treading water with and Spider refuses to acknowledge that as anything but some shit he has to choke down, that everyone must've been right, he's too fucked up and there's no point trying to be anything different.

🥕 [CARROT] How tough is your OC against certain situations? How weak are they against others?

I'd say he's tough against things that involve physical fights, even if he gets thrown on his ass, gets punched, hit, scraped knees and elbows, he just gets back up. He's been taking hits for a long, long time and has been in quite a few scraps mostly in self-defense or from a snapping temper because of something someone said about him or his family. He's also of course been in fights and screaming matches with his dad for a long time as well, and so when confronted with that sort of violence he'll sink into wise cracking insults, falling into the familiar routine with a nasty snarl if he has to, so long as he doesn't feel helpless and out of control.

He's weak against everything to do with Jake and is easily reeled in by every hook Jake sets, because he's so starving he'll take every bit of bait and his tough facade will shatter like fucking glass so fast the moment Jake spins from friendly face to hands anywhere but kept to himself. And his dad knows how to hit him where it really hurts as well, knows how to make him feel helpless and lost and puny, and like everything is his fault, that the weights so heavy he's nothing more than a little boy with one foot in the grave who needs a shit ton of discipline and guidance to get right again.

🥭 [MANGO] What colours best represent them and why? Does this differ from their favourites?

Rich brown like the color of the Sully kids eyes, deep gold like the farm's fields and the curls of his hair, greens that remind him of Kiri's favorite shirts and her sling bag that she carries around.

Blue represents him, blue like his dad's eyes, like Jake's, like cyan between darker stripes from another world, another time. Blue like the lake he used to float face down in wishing it would swallow everything, blue like the propane torch he watched Jake fuck around with in the garage of their last rental home when he was working on some copper piping, blue like the fresh bruises kissed into his skin once by knuckles, now by teeth.

🍑 [PEACH] How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly?

It's difficult for him to afford to be kind, and it's been like that for a long time. But there is a Before and an After now, where his kindness used to be quiet moments spent shoulder to shoulder with Jake, swapping some too sweet chocolate bar and a soda as they sat on the porch and talked about anything and everything. The same with Kiri, Lo'ak, even Neteyam sometimes, where he would just do his best to listen and understand. Now, his kindness is when he does his best to pretend like everything is fine so no one has to worry; which isn't much different from before, but he's having to work so much harder and he hates it so fucking much. (Which is to say none of this is actual kindness, and there's no saying how kind Spider is truly because he's so fucking traumatized and needs years of healing to understand what it's like to be safe enough to trust the right people, let them in, and learn what kindness actually looks like beyond self-sacrifice and taking on burdens he never should have to).

🧅 [ONION] What is surefire to make your OC cry? Who knows of this information?

If anyone says his mom is dead because of him (even the barebone facts of the story, the fact she did die during childbirth), he will absolutely cry even if he has to blink super fast and scrub at his eyes to try and fight it off. Jake and Quaritch know this very well, and others have accidentally found this out by wording things about Paz poorly around him because when he's so on edge already, every tongue becomes a knife.

🍕 [PIZZA SLICE] How good is your OC at sharing? How do they share something if there's not enough supply?

If anything, he shares a little too much. At least food wise, he'll constantly try to cut his portions to make sure everyone else has more even if he's still hungry. More than ever he's giving the larger half of sweet treats and other stuff to Kiri, to Jake, even to his dad simply because he can't stomach them. And of course they'll try and offer him more in their own ways and in Kiri's case he'll eventually get mad and slink off, but with Jake and Quaritch well… they're giving him way more than he bargained for in return, and there's no getting out of it. I think in a lot of ways he's not very good at sharing Jake either— there's this weird sense of jealousy, protectiveness, something, Something, that makes it so "sharing" Jake with his dad feels like some kind of psychosexual competition that Daddy dearest is well fucking aware of. And of course Jake is, too, but he thinks there's plenty of himself to go around (he absolutely adores the fact Spider is so attached to him in this extra special way compared to Quaritch and absolutely loves to tease Quaritch about it even though Spider is devoted to his dad wholeheartedly the way altar boys are to their priests' touches. It's just that Jake… he's sooo special, right? 😼 He's not Dad, but he *is* Dad's, and that's exactly who Spider belongs to as well. Match made in super hell— or heaven if you ask Spider, but the kind of heaven filled with maggots stuffed in soft pillow nest beds.)

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

His biggest weakness is physical affection, I kept trying to think way too hard on this one, but no it's that simple! That's his ultimate weakness, and of course Kiri as his kryptonite, too, at least when on the farm because he feels incredibly responsible for her safety even when he shouldn't have to shoulder that. But that's how he operates, and it's easy to catch him in a silver wire snare the way Jake has by doing things as simple as threading his hands through Spider's hair and humming softly during their little horror film nights. His dad starts to do the same, but only as a reward after being such a good boy for him— physical affection withheld from the person Spider fucking Lives for, breathes for, and occupies his mind deeper than Jake ever will.

🧈 [BUTTER] How soft is your OC? In what sense are they soft?

He's actually incredibly soft, but he's not necessarily allowed to be. It's everything he fears, letting his guard down, letting people in, showing he cares about them too much, especially now— after he's twisted in the web of sexual abuse; after he showed how much he cared about Kiri, about his cousins, uncles, aunt, grandparents, he was too soft, he ler them see too much, he listened to them, sat too close, smiled too much and laughed at their jokes and their stories, that's how he sees it. Now he pays the ultimate price, now he knows he can't let it happen ever again.

🏵️ [ROSETTE] What flower symbolises your OC best and why? What does the flower mean in floriography?

Witch Hazel. Those little yellow flowers that need chilly weather to bloom and have those seeds that can snap really far away with a popping sound. In Appalachia and among different peoples of the Shaconage, the plant has been used to find many things and has been associated with the ability to in fact find anything. It's also used traditionally for external and even internal anti-inflammatories and is indistinguishable from other understory plants until fall and winter roll around.

Which is to say it shares a lot of qualities with Spider, it's a resilient plant and Spider is physically resilient as hell— he has to be, but he also blends into the background until he snaps, pops all at once. And it could be said he helped Jake and Quaritch find something, Something Horrible, and everything Spider saw coming and couldn't stop.

A y-shaped branch of Witch Hazel used as a dousing rod can find lost knives, tools, and even Daddy's gun if the right intent is put in, isn't that right?

🍌 [BANANA] Have parts of your OC been lost to time (in-universe)? What do they wish they could lose from themselves?

I am so pisspoor at understanding the wording of this question, so I'm gonna go with what I assume it's asking; I'd say a lot of parts of him have been lost to his time growing up in-universe. He may only be fourteen, but since a very young age he's felt ancient despite still very much being and behaving as a child. He has memories from way younger than his peers, which only makes time feel as if it's stretched so much further and yet condensed all at once, a substantial chunk spent in terror and confusion with all the bittersweet good bits sprinkled in between. He lost the ability to just be a kid a long time ago, and I think if someone were to offer him a safe place where he could have that back again, he would break the fuck down. He absolutely wishes he could lose everything to do with that first time with Jake, every bit of sex and lust and desire pushed inside of him, planted in his head, he would lose whatever makes him feel so fucked up, confused, and jumping at his shadow even if he can't name it out of fear that all of it will be real.

(He wishes he could lose his dad, but that would be something he'd choke on if he ever said aloud.)

🍹 [TROPICAL BEVERAGE] If your OC could go anywhere, where would it be?

Genuinely anywhere that isn't where his dad and Jake are (he's fantasized about going where the Sullys live, even though he's never been, he's had more than one dream where it's just him and even Kiri all playing out in woods he's never seen before); except a part of him, a slimy, coiling, boiling hot part wishes that they'd just go on some vacation far, far away together, maybe somewhere where there's rainforest, animals he's never seen before, humidity so high he'd practically need a mask to breathe, somewhere easy to get lost in and disappear and that way he will know his dad and his rapey boyfriend will never touch anyone but him ever again.

💐 [BOUQUET] If you could send your OC a bouquet, what flowers would make it up and what is the overall message?

Nothing specific I can really think of besides it would be a casket spray, an arrangement for those to be buried, for the dead. Probably chrysanthemums, black dahlias, yarrow, and lotus flowers as well since they can be associated with sexual assault– it'd be quite the weird bouquet. Maybe a bit of baby breath's thrown in there. The overall message being you survive or you die, even if you already feel more than dead; the reality of the chronically traumatized.

🥐 [CROISSANT] Where is your OC from? How do they feel about their homeland? Where are they now?

He was born in Laughlin near Del Rio, Texas. He was there only a few months and has no real attachment to Texas; they have never been back to the state since then. A shit ton went down that he does not remember and has never been told or found much news about due to it being what his dad only calls classified. When he thinks of Texas or sees the different memorabilia, the photos of his dad's squad, the base, his mom, and the old ranch his grandparents had before selling and moving Northeast, he feels churning guilt, and grief he's never been allowed to understand is related to how much his childhood has been ripped apart, shifted, changed, and thrown him out with the bathwater. Now his dad and Jake rent a place in central Florida and he keeps the same arm's length distance that he reserves for every place they go, seeming to move every two years if not much sooner.

He doesn't know that his dad's plans are to remain in Florida for very specific child marriage purposes if he can reach his hands deep in the guts of those pre-2018 loopholes.

🍰 [CAKE SLICE] How does your OC change as you get to know them?

Oh, this is a tough one considering as the story continues I believe he gets more and more devastating to trek in his shoes. I don't really know what readers' first impressions are of Circled Me!Spider, but fuck, I'm assuming it's like marching down that endless hallway in House of Leaves, into the yawning darkness, or even down the staircase of Silent Hill 2, trekking far too deep into the world below, but you've gone so far there's no turning around— you commit to the bit. He changes against his will in the eyes of the reader and in the eyes of the characters, if that answers the question.

🍈 [MELON] If they had to be put into a box, what box would it be and why?

One of those cardboard nest boxes they put injured baby birds in, because he desperately needs it. The warm lamp, the soft blanket, the time to rest and recover and just sleep without the threat of reaching hands, sharp claws, and gutting fangs.

🥃 [MATE] What does your OC look for in a friend? What do they find is a turn-off?

He has a very, very limited number of friends, those he does have are pretty much within family circles only now. He looks for people he can sort of hang out with in an easy capacity, friends who don't ask too many questions, who wanna talk about themselves and what they like, tell him all sorts of stuff. He looks for friends who are willing to get down in the dirt, who will play games and do stupid shit, but not stupid enough to get a broken arm or worse. He finds it easier to get along with friends who are slightly younger, or maybe it's just circumstance that his cousins are all younger than him and they get along so well, only Neteyam being the more distant of the bunch— something about never feeling the age he is, either years ahead or years behind and somehow the Sullys get it.

Jake ticks all the boxes as well, but also all the turn-offs, too. Because Jake's nosey, he asks too many questions, he's too perceptive, he's always in his space and always goes through his stuff without asking just like the few friends he tried to make at school. He makes crass comments, gets him in trouble with his dad half the time, and has no concept of personal space that always pissed Spider off and reminded him of kids back in grade school who would hug him out of nowhere, or drag him around by the wrist when he was still the shorter of the bunch. And now Jake does so, so much more than that, and yet Spider can't help but think of him as a friend. The kind that leaves him feeling hollow and curled on his side, showered in gifts and affection and physical touch, stinging cheeks and knuckle shaped bruises from a rough punch. Praise and scathing, cutting words he needs to hear so he'll know how to do better, how to grow up, how to protect his family. Jake's his best friend like that, perfect and terrible in every way, and he thinks he might die if he were to ever leave him.

🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it?

He happens to be his father's son, set apart from the rest, only child to half a military family. He's punished the way kids growing up with a shitty parent who has a bad reputation do, by the sins of the father, because it's never made clear to Spider that the reason the extended family is so wary of him, that he gets the cold shoulder is because his dad is always right there. It doesn't help either that he's constantly the new kid in class, that his hair's long and sometimes braided, that he's never really hid the fact that he likes boys and girls in school, that he wears the same clothes a lot; ones too big on him. Worn and faded graphic tees, holes in them that sometimes get him dress coded at school. That he's taller than his classmates and so he stands out, and his shoes constantly seem to be too small for his feet and falling apart so sometimes he'll just go without them when he can get away with it. Lately, his dad's been getting him better shoes and clothes, nicer things, but more than ever he's being forced to isolate himself, to act out, to self fulfill the prophecy of being an unpleasant asshole (and far worse) like his dad.

🥝 [KIWI FRUIT] How does their outside appearance differ from who they are?

He probably has a resting scowl at this point. Like his default face would look so tense and angry, not to mention he's only ever getting taller. He may not know who he really is, but he's certainly not as mean as he tries to make himself appear/people assume based on all sorts of biases. It's easier being what other people assume than trying to break the mold at some point.

🍐 [PEAR] What is their current social standing? If they could change it, would they, and to what?

Shit, not good. And I don't think he can even comprehend what it might look like if he could change it. Right now he's the bratty boy with his dad's demon blood, the poor kid who's always getting towed around by his dad, the black sheep of the family, the odd one out, the one everyone's worried about but Everytime they approach Quaritch he tells him it's just Miles going through some things, puberty, a girlfriend back home that is totally not real, mental health woes like his momma, stuff that runs in the family, you know how it is, of course— and that's what he'll tell them, story after story and Spider remains Quaritch's son through and fucking through.

🌿 [HERB] Is your OC religious? What do they believe in?

He's agnostic, mostly, he hasn't had enough time to connect with any sort of spirituality at all. And it will be a long time before he learns that he's allowed to, that he's safe to. Although he knows Kiri and the Sullys have a very close connection with their religious practices dating back more years than he can comprehend, he feels distant, disconnected, trapped and unable to see what they see when they look at a tiny ant or the moon with her stars, the gentle kiss of every breeze and the power of each storm. He also doesn't feel any sort of kinship towards his dad or the Christian denomination churches they've been in and out of, but he does enjoy the live music and the free food.

🌵 [CACTUS] How physically resilient is your OC?

I think I actually answered this one up there a bit! But he is very physically resilient as a matter of survival. He absolutely hates being in pain, and discomfort is practically sensory overload, but he can absolutely keep physically fucking going even when he should've collapsed or been out for the count a long time ago. He has to, he doesn't see any other options, and it will absolutely catch up to his ass in so many fucking ways.

🍸 [COCKTAIL] When was the first time your OC had an alcoholic beverage? What did they think of it?

First time he came to visit the farm, so at seven years old. He thought it tasted like muddy hand sanitizer with some sugar in it and promptly spit taked right into his dad's lap which earned him some choice words and a shake down later.

He doesn't drink and doesn't feel inclined to, but that could certainly change given his new circumstances and something that's floated in the back of his head the few times he's tried some of Aunt Grace's wine— that it tasted pretty damn good. And he's seen the way she seems to relax, loosen up when she's drunk, opposite to the sort of simmering look his dad develops when he's down a couple cans of something that makes his nose wrinkle. (He doesn't know what a lush is, but he's sure to find out that Jake's going to call him one with so much fucking amusement, smiling ear to fucking ear the first time Spider gets proper drunk on the farm.)

🌱 [SEEDLING] What new passions/hates is your OC discovering?

Lord, this one— this fucking question is a big one, huh? Well, new passions, he's probably what could safely be considered addicted to sex; the intoxicating high of it, even if it's abuse, even if he Knows it's abuse, if something feels that fucking good the brain doesn't really give a shit, because when it's good it's Good, when it's bad it's Bad, and the actual term is Compulsive Sexual Behavior, but Spider doesn't really understand he's been groomed to hell and back to want all this shit, that he's being used to fulfill the pleasure of two other men. He's discovering a shitton of hates all in the same breath, he hates when Jake threatens Kiri, he hates when he talks about her the way he does, he hates how his dad talks about her, too. He hates how his soft pallette gets bruised, he hates when they're rough, he hates when he bleeds, he hates hiding the bruises like he's a little kid, he hates when he cries in the middle of it, he hates not being able to sleep unless he gets the insomnia fucked out of him. He hates how much everything has changed and yet nothing has at all— he hates how much everyone seems to look right through him and right at him at the same time; and he hates how every vaguely sexual reference and joke makes his cheeks flush and his brain leap into overdrive. He hates being a fucked up, disturbed kid that's infecting the farm the exact way they all never said to his face, but he knows they were thinking; that maybe they know his dad's fucked up like this and they just don't care because he was destined for this being who he is.

(He's very passionate about being a good student, a good son, the best fucking shot—

He hates how much he wants to kill himself seemingly out of the blue.

He hates how much he knows his dad would rip him right out of hell if he did.)

🌸 [CHERRY BLOSSOM] Does your OC believe in legends/myths?

I think he doesn't really know a lot of legends or myths yet aside from the ones his grandparents have told him, maybe even Quaritch (Bible stories here and there, fairytales and other stories about men who betray their basic principles, who turn their backs on everything they know, back stabbing traitors and meddling scientists, and projects involving soldiers memories, thoughts, and consciousness, everything that can go wrong when the good guys mix with bad circumstances, when they get painted in poor light because we all know Quaritch has that thin blue line sticker slapped on his truck's bumper, propaganda and jingoism out the ass.)

I like to think the Sully kids have told him some stories from the Omatikaya that he does his best to remember and spin in his head at night when he's anxious, that he even does his best to retell them around the fire. I also think he'd know some classic Appalachian folklore, too, stuff his grandparents have picked up since moving up to North Carolina that's blended with their roots in Southern Texas, in North Mexico before that.

I think he believes less in monsters wandering the hills, of strange lights flashing through the mountainside, of never whistling outside at night now and more in the monsters sharing his bed. Although he might think of the legends of those wearing the skin of people he loves and knows, of bodysnatchers trying to get close to him, devouring him whole when he's stuck between Jake and his dad as they all sleep.

🧁 [CUPCAKE] If you had to describe your OC using flavours, how would you (e.g., 'they're very sweet')?

Those first they're sour then they're sweet sour patch kids— or maybe the opposite, or maybe he just gets more sour; so sour he turns sweet.

🍩 [DONUT] What is your OC's biggest flaw? How do they deal with it? Do they deal with it?

Probably his inability to consider what he wants, needs, or feels and instead everything is filtered through how it'll make his dad feel, what his dad Wants, what his dad Needs. (What Jake Needs and Wants, too, because upsetting Jake will upset Dad and he can't have that— hates when it happens, can't stand when he's made his dad a mess and he just wants to fix it, apologize, avoid the hurt and pain of his consequences.) He doesn't even recognize it is something he's doing on a basic level, so he has no way to stop the way his mind has been wired to consider Dad in absolutely everything he does and will do; even at the detriment of his own life, soul, mind, and well-being.

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Chronic avoidance, like a cat that's never seen in the house by anyone, but absolutely lives there type of avoidance. Many people recognize and see that he's cagey about so many things, that he always has been, skittering off or deflecting with humor, a joke, a subject change or even doing something impulsive and unexpected to redirect everyone's attention. He doesn't see this as a problem, as the Socorro-Quaritch household's infamous unspoken motto, "if you can't see it, if you don't talk about it, it's not real."

Also the martyrdom, but no one quite recognizes this as a flaw except for Kiri, and perhaps the Socorros in some way due to the amount of times Spider's thrown himself under the bus and taken the blame for things he shouldn't.

#answered asks #you circled me inside my room #if any of this is contradictory no it isnt look away #thank you for indulging me with these questions!!

[thecoffeebeeeean]

Self love. Self growth. And my guide BEEside me.

Before my 26th birthday, I was suffering from so much anxiety. Growing up, I always saw myself as a failure. Even the smallest thing, I cannot do it right. I get scolded, and that makes me feel bad about myself more. I feel so ugly all the time. Everyone doesn't want to befriend me. Also, I felt like I was so dumb because I am bad at academics. Actually, not bad. Average. But you don't get compliments for being average.

When my father introduced The Secret (the Law of Attraction) in high school, my life changed. Applying this law made everything simple. My anxiety has lessened. But when I got to college, anxiety always visited me again, and it got worse. And the worst attacks came after my dad died. I'm always drunk. I'm always pissed. I was angry with the world. I self-harm. It was bad. I appeared happy like a regular person to everyone, but I was broken.

I've been in a battle since then. I cried to sleep. I was even crying while I was working. My colleagues asked me why I space out most of the time. I always overthink things. There was always a riot in my head. I was always tired. Tired of everything. And just wanted to end everything.

I tried to cope with the situation, and even in that state of being, I faced other people with a smile. I had to force myself to get up every day because there were people counting on me. Holding on to me. Even if I can't hold any longer. I had to carry them to save them from what I am suffering. I have to prepare them for the worst that may come. I fought for my life against the monster inside me for other people. I was thankful for everyone who told me their stories; that fed my purpose in life when it was too thin; that fueled the fire to keep me fighting for life.

Then came a day when I thought I wanted to free myself from the cage of my thoughts. I realized I was too hard on myself. I want to fix myself. I used the law of attraction again. I tried to avoid bad thoughts. I diverted my attention and made myself focus on good things. Good music. Funny movies. Facebook break. Major Facebook break, my friends. Really . For more than a year, I didn't use Facebook. Also, be with good people. Choose what to listen to or to whom you should listen; what words that I hear should I accept or absorb. Filter the beneficial and dispose the bullshit scrapes. Then I came across this book. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and Everything is Fucked by Mark Manson. It is a good book. Really helped me a lot.

After my 26th, the flip happened. I don't know how. I just woke up one day, and everything feels right. I appreciated every little thing in life. I learned to be content with what I have and who I am. I focused on my dreams and goals and not those of others. I did the things I wanted, not what others wanted to see in me. So many good things happened.

I practiced a healthy way of living. Well, I don't do that perfectly, but as you continuously do it, I could notice a difference. Good difference.

I've been so hard on myself. All this time, what I think other people think of me is what I think about myself. It took me so many years. It took me decades, actually, to gain this freedom from the torture of my own mind. Well, we cannot keep ourselves away from anxiety since it is just hiding in our veins. But we have to learn how to deal with them when they bother to visit.

How many times have I mentioned 'I' and 'myself' in here? I never had this chance to talk about myself. This time, it's all about me. Periodt.

This tattoo serves as a trophy for the galaxy I built for myself. I will guard this, whatever it takes. The construction is still ongoing, but I guarantee the foundation is strong enough for whatever storm may hit.

I love myself more than anyone else. I will continue to grow as a person and learn more about life. There is so much in life to be excited about. I will make this through with you Beeside me.

❤️🏵️🐝

[morska-trava]

Jasmine, lily, anemone, lotus, blazing star ❤️🌹🌻🏵️🌼🌷💮

Jerca!!! Ily!!! 💕💕💕

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

Either phoenixes or griffins.

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

I love re-reading the ya fiction that I really liked in the elementary/at the beginning of high school - partially to slightly more critically re-create my evaluations of those books or to figure out why i even liked them in the first place (because I am Very forgetful) and partially just for fun, even if I remember that a certain book was kind of bad/cringey.

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

Patient, quiet and always tired

lotus; best memory as a child?

When I was little I used to spend a lot of time at my grandpa's farm in Rakovnik. Towards the beginning of autumn, there would always be hedgehogs near the barn and sometimes they'd even come close to the house. I was a rather picky eater (not as in not liking certain foods but more as in not wanting to eat much of anything) and in order to get me to eat the whole meal, my grandpa would make up stories about the hedgehogs - he would make random stops and if I wanted him to continue the story, I'd have to eat some more. In general, almost all the time I spent on that farm is among my favorite childhood memories, hedgehog stories or no hedgehog stories.

blazing star; share a secret.

There were some songs and other pieces of media that I couldn't bear to listen to/watch up until very recently, because I tied them too strongly to some memories that I'd rather forget now, but in the past few weeks I have slowly been trying to enjoy them again, without thinking back to the memories that I'd previously associated them with. It had varied levels of success, but it gave me hope that I'm maybe finally starting to recover, and that makes me happy, I think.

#thanks for the asks 💙 #asks #asks answered #botanical ask game #personal

[fxiryheiize]

Hi, so i want to participate in your exchange,

I would like to get a general reading on future spouse, if you can get their 18+ thoughts on me i would love that ( i hav seen your pac so i am assuming you are not a minor, if you are by any way please refrain ) and will send you the same. 🥰

I don't have anything specific to ask on them so i ll keep yours general and will try to get whatever I can

First off they seem to have a gloomy looking or expression less face if you will. Like they may be thinking or are always thinking. They may overthink a lot or are just confused in this moment. They may be a student in an internship or part time job or could have just started work. They have a curious and confused thought process. I think they are a-- look at both sides-- of the story person, this can cause some confusing or chaotic thoughts for them which may make them indecisive. But in reality they just want to know the best possible outcome. This is where their Rationally comes into play. They may be a Libra mercury or 7th house mercury. They may have grown in a household with financial restrictions so they are careful about it as well.

They are average height with a big upper body. Either way broad back or curvacious cheat for women, bald head or small hair, pixie hair for women, they keep bald it like that as a choice. Maybe some tattoo on upper body. They wear tight pants and shirts but this feels more like a uniform.

You guys may meet them in a cafe, i am smelling coffee so it could be it or a place of first date. I saw an image of a local diner, or anything that's nearest to you by foot. Or they may be a barista. They have a small sister, not so small. I am seen a darker skin complexion.

They give me very rational and soft peaceful vibes like i mentioned Libra mercury, possible a Libra sun or virgo sun. They may not seem like it but i think they tend to think a lot about finances. They have nice teeth and loves sneakers. Very classic fashion choice, lot of basic solid color shirts.

I wasn't getting this before but i think when you meet it could be on the streets besides the cafe or a sunny day, they maybe wearing black shades, or dance may be involved somewhere, may you both can do it or it is dancing in the background. Your friends or their friends may be around the time you meet.

They may not be the most upfront about their 18+ thoughts with you, i see a very friendly and chill vibe for a relationship, they may keep their private thoughts of you hidden so i cant het much but i feel frustration so maybe at a point they may feel like it when they are restricting themselves from you, this heat seems very passionate to me.

They could cry with you at some point.

Hope you like this

i am m 🏵️ i am excited for my reading.

Hello M! Sorry it took me so long; school has been kicking my ass!

I'll type feedback in a different post because this is already about to be too long lol.

Channeled Messages: “I’m sorry please forgive me” “Don’t give up on me” “Lo dejaria todo porque te quedaras” “I promise, I swear” “I can treat you better than he can”

Channeled Songs: La Ley - CNCO

Zodiac Signs: Sagittarius, Virgo (August is coming in strong) Water Signs (specifically Cancer)

The months January, and August May be significant as well as Spring and Winter. The color Green may also hold significance.

So, for starters I feel as though this is someone who has been through a lot. This person has had their fair share of ups and downs but always manages to come out of every situation in a positive mindset. They seem to be very optimistic despite the hardships they face, in fact they look forward to it because they see it as an opportunity to become stronger. This is an interesting individual, very odd or different. They are the type of person to take being called weird or strange as a compliment instead of an insult because they pride themselves in having this trait.

This person is likely very up and down in terms of appearance. For example, one day they could have brown hair and the next day their hair is blood red. I do, however, see that their current hair color is likely blond and of a wavy texture. They may wear colored contacts at times. I feel that they are in their twenties right now. I’m getting both pale skin and tanned skin, so they could live somewhere where they get tanned a lot. Regardless of whether this is a man or a woman, I see this person having broad shoulders. They could have a few tattoos that are noticeable and a few that they keep hidden, only for people they trust to see. They make a lot of impulsive decisions and while sometimes this allows them to live on the wild side, it can also come back to bite them in the ass eventually if they aren't careful. I also feel as though they are slightly younger than you.

They seem extremely insecure, and this may cause them to lash out in childish ways. They are easily angered, unnecessarily jealous, and a tad bit manipulative and self-righteous. All of these traits may stem from something that happened in their childhood. I can’t say what because even though I have a slight idea about it, it wouldn’t really be fair for me to share someone else’s trauma. Anyway, they may have a bad habit of projecting these insecurities onto you and the people around you, just because they refuse to see them within themselves.

However, despite these looming insecurities, this person is in love with the idea of love. They long to experience a fairytale-like love story. They want to be your Knight in Shining armor and they like to feel wanted. They want to feel like you need them. A romantic at heart. Speaking of which, I feel as though they would be into Venusian themes during sex. They may be into nice scents, pretty lingerie (pastels with a lot of lace) definitely the type to light a candle or create a trail of rose petals. They might also be into choking.

Also, the embodiment of “Get rich or die trying” this person values money a lot and they are stubborn to no end. They refuse to go down easily, and they will fight to the death over anything they deem worthy. They are not the type to easily accept criticism or a helping hand. They want to do everything by themselves (this is one of the reasons why they go through so many hardships in life). I wouldn't recommend getting into an argument with this person because they will hold it over your head for the longest time. They are the type to hold grudges. They will say that they are over it but if you make them upset, they’ll probably go “hey remember when you, blah blah blah” and create an entirely new argument. I’m getting Spanish here as well so they or you could be a Spanish speaker.

Initials: E , F , M , C , N , G , Y , O , J

#fxiryspeaks #exchange

[helenawa-art]

Thinking about my next school year

#sorry for always complaining about my school it actively takes away my will to live #at least is only one more year #school stories 🏵️

[helenawa-art]

I want all of you touching wood so I can at least have a 3/10 on my artistic drawing class test today

#normally id want at least a 5 but i have to know my limits.. #school stories 🏵️

[helenawa-art]

Im probably gonna fail this test and on top of that I fought with my teacher because okay listen. I am not crazy. Is not normal that this man makes us IMAGINE how would we see our school if we were IN THE TOP OF A TREE (a real specific one it couldn't be an hypothetical one) and then we had to draw it exactly like it is like do you get me? Like it's impossible and I told him that is ridiculous and he was like calm down 😐 and I was like I'M CALM BUT THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRAW SOMETHING I CAN'T SEE like ??????? FOR AN EXAM TOO LIKE HELLO.

#then he tells me well that's your problem 😐 well you're about to have another problem when i jump through the window #sorry for the rant guys 😍😍 #i needed to let it out #school stories 🏵️

[helenawa-art]

My teacher was really feeling in a goofy mood when he decided to give us the most important test of all year this week after explaining the subject for (I am not exaggerating) 30 minutes.

#school stories 🏵️ #like im getting rlly stressed and i cant really do anything because I have half a page of notes i could get and like #thats all #lmaoo 😭😭😭😭 #if i dont pass this test ill go to repeat the two prior exams on summer btw 😀 and if i dont pass then ill have to repeat all this year #which i refuse #so #praying hoping manifesting believing asking etcetc

[helenawa-art]

Girls when school :(

#its me im the girl :( #school stories 🏵️

[helenawa-art]

Looking through all my 69825 possible art styles trying to find the one that won't make my teachers crawl in my bedroom at night to strangle me

#new assignment new style 🥰 i hate it #school stories 🏵️ #not like i have a super defined one but 😭 its annoying