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#scp iceberg

aight, let’s get started.


heres larimar! at first I was gonna make him a blue pearl but,, larimar markings. keep in mind these designs are gonna be oldish so

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  1. circulated inflammatory lolcat-style memes of dr. crow around the office anonymously for a full calendar year before being exposed
  2. sends out separate email to mercilessly mock every single person who accidentally hits “reply all” on the weekly staff reports, in increasingly hurtful and personal ways
  3. got so fed up with nobody cleaning the break room microwave that he just unplugged the whole thing and took it to his office
  4. renders the communal coffee pot room temperature instantaneously with his shitty little gay hands
  5. one time kondraki handed him a stack of paperwork and he lit the whole thing on fire, threw it on the ground, and walked away. they had to evacuate the entire site. he has yet to issue an apology or stand in the same room as kondraki again.
  6. escalated the fiscal year-end bonfire considerably when he dumped the contents of the office lost-and-found directly onto the blaze despite loud protests from the assembled crowd, quote, “if you wanted your shit you should have stopped clogging reception with it for the past ten months”
  7. urges others to move out of his way by placing aforementioned shitty little gay hands on your bare skin with no warning
  8. keeps putting passive-aggressive memos up on the bulletin board with thinly veiled threats tacked onto the end of them. there is no name signed to these but everybody fucking knows it’s him.
  9. once threw a stack of paperwork out of the third story window, quote, “don’t leave your paperwork on my desk next time and it won’t happen”
  10. took the last friday morning donut despite multiple sources corroborating him having taken one already earlier in the day
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