#scream of the shalka bit where the doctor says that and alison is like okay and then the master is like

[seveneyesoup]

one of my favorite bits in doctor who is when someone is like your time machine doesn’t work very well does it and the doctor is like Excuse You, This Is A Type 40 TARDIS That Can Go Anywhere In Time And Space. that’s like if i drove to a place where they don’t have cars but know about them and took someone for a drive and they saw cooling that only works on one setting and heat that barely works and a broken cd player despite the functioning tape deck and shaky brakes and they went mate your cars a bit shit isn’t it and you were like fuck you, this is a 2002 toyota camry, it can drive on roads

#scream of the shalka bit where the doctor says that and alison is like okay and then the master is like #Between You And Me. a type 40 isn’t that impressive of a model. they just want you to think that and know you don’t know any better. #i do though. #also idk what features a 2002 camry has if they even had cd players it’s just an old car and an unimpressive model #no shade though i drive 2005 honda so yk. stones and glass houses #i like my car even but i wouldn’t demand anyone be impressed by her #wait actually the doctor about the tardis is that post that’s like if i had a lame ass bf i’d hype him up id go in a restaurant #and say here comes the worlds most special boy if you don’t clap for him i’m going to blow you all up #and u know what. they’re right #i just think it’s funny that specifically to make her seem impressive they say the model and stress that she can do what in theory #any timeship can #doctor who

[modernwizard]

Don’t antagonize the evil alien super-powered robot, okay? Just...don’t.

Three more chapters of my Scream of the Shalka fanfic are up at AO3. The alternative Ninth Doctor is sick and comatose, leaving their two companions to fend for themselves. One companion is the young black British woman Alison Cheney, who has a low tolerance for bullshit and zero tolerance for mind-fucking. The other is the Master, the Doctor's robotic frenemy, whose expertise lies in both bullshit and fucking with people's heads. Oh yeah, and the planet they landed on is where the Doctor is supposed to be preventing a civil war. Plot ensues.

The following excerpt takes place during a diplomatic hearing in which Alison and the Master are listening to the Schuaschen, the people fighting for their independence against the Agricole:

The commander turns to Alison. “So you think that our common enemy makes us allies. And you think that your abuse of Time Lord authority is excusable if you interfere on behalf of Schuaschen freedom.”

The Magister places his right hand on his sternum and leans forward a bit. “Yes. My colleague and I shall devote our stratagems, our interventions, and all our power to the fulfillment of the lellayschiiya that we have established.” Alison wonders if his honesty about his dishonesty renders him more trustworthy to the Schuaschen or less.

“Um…” says Loriischi, out of whose depth this conversation has spiraled so fast that she is not sure what word to insert edgewise.

“Well then,” says Commander Effschischa. “I’m a practical person, and I will take whatever help I can, even if it is from Time Lords, to guard my people and keep them safe. I believe we might have an understanding after all.”

Suddenly something speeds through the air. The Magister sits up and catches it, his eyes never leaving the commander’s. “What’s this?” he asks in all mildness, his right hand held near his cheek as if to launch a dart. Only when she squints does Alison see the fine needle-like shaft of a metal arrow between the tips of his fingers.

Some sort of tube -- a blow gun? -- has materialized in the commander’s hand. “I intended that for the golden book just behind your right ear, but I think I’ve made my point. Break the lellayschiiya, and I will kill you.”

“Commander!” the Magister cries. The word flies out as a dart of its own. “I offer you frankness and good faith, and you respond with a show of force, threatening me and thus my Domina. Take care, then, with your next move, for it is to her whom I answer above all others.”

“Indeed it was a show of force,” says the commander, her voice completely even, “not an actual use. But now I see, Time Master and Time Tree Cheney, that you pose no threat to me.” She puts her gun back into the secret place where she got it from. “So I will be no threat to you. I agree to your terms.”

“A wise decision.” The Magister lowers his arm.

Alison stares. The Magister has promised her all sorts of things recently, but only now does she have an idea of how he would defend her limits when someone else tried to push them. She knew that he was powerful, but she never counted on such a combination of speed, defense, and incontrovertible authority. And this person has voluntarily given himself to her service. Well, that’s...intense. Alison swears to use these powers only for good.

#doctor who #doctor who extended universe #scream of the shalka #alison cheney #the master #fan fiction #fanfic #i told you his powers included bullshit #also honesty about his dishonesty i guess #does that make him more honest or less? #i dunno but i sure wouldn't trust him #then again i'm not in alison's situation where she's so disturbed by the doctor that the master starts looking like less of a threat #why you gotta be such a shit doctor?!!!!