Au milieu du gué
Fini d'écouter un podcast où Dominique Kalifa dit tout le bien qu'il pense de Sexy et de son livre. Cette chose incongrue qui se rappelle à moi une fois l'an - l'opinion des autres. Quand je suis amoureuse d'un gars comme je le suis de lui, le monde entier peut venir me dire que c'est le roi des tocards : rien à foutre. A la limite, je serais du genre à penser comme Hélène Ségara, il y a trop de gens qui t'aiment.
et tout de suite, l'agacement qui monte en moi - et qu'est-ce que tu vas chercher en écoutant çà, t'en as pas marre, sors, va prendre la pluie, change-toi les idées un peu.
=> vivre seule, c'est se refaire en circuit fermé des engueulades de vieux couple.
Mais c'est parce que je suis encore dans le temps de ce (sentiment ? désir ? élan ? curiosité ? ravissement ?). L'année universitaire n'est pas terminée, que çà me plaise ou non. Il y a eu un moment de bascule, après les partiels, je l'ai bien senti, mais pour l'instant je reste bloquée dans un genre de petit enfer personnel, une zone sans Prof Sexy où le même jour recommencerait tous les matins
un intervalle entre deux orbites où le temps lui-même m'aurait oubliée, où je ne pourrai, ni le draguer franchement, ni tourner la page, ni même me rincer l'œil sur lui en cours, humblement (parcours olympique : les yeux la bouche les mains les yeux le torse les épaules les cuisses les mains les fesses le dos la nuque, extra bonus : le sexe, à condition de ne pas te faire repérer).
N'importe comment c'est là, alors autant essayer d'en faire quelque chose.
Je rigole parce qu'au début, pour me souvenir du nom de Dominique Kalifa, je pensais au rappeur, Wiz Khalifa ; je me disais : "Un jour çà va t'échapper, tu vas mélanger les noms devant un historien et tu auras envie de disparaître sous le lino".
Moment magique sur Earfquake : à partir du 2è couplet, Tyler place une teneur en si bémol qu'il reprend sur le flow de Playboi Carti - l'ensemble formant un accord mineur, si j'ai bien travaillé mes leçons d'harmonie. Quand je me sens chez moi dans une chanson, je prends mon temps et j’explore toutes les pièces ; et quand la maison est aussi baroque que Earfquake, je trouve toujours un nouveau détail qui réjouit : ici, la membrane du gros son qui vibre, là le petit break au piano, et maintenant cette dissonance discrète qui, d'abord, électrise comme sa respiration sur ma peau, puis enfle et fait pencher la lourde structure vers une belle déroute.
La conclusion me donne envie de pleurer. C'est çà que j’aurais dû envoyer à Sexy avant qu’il ne sorte de ma vie, après ces faramineuses quinze minutes qu’il venait – complaisant, jupitérien – de me consentir :
I don't want no confrontation
You don't want my conversation
I just need some confirmation on how you feel, for real
But you don't want no complication, no
And I don't want no side information
0 notes
The second episode of the Remake, FF7 Rebirth, has proven to be a terrific experience thus far. SE obviously made a few big decisions here and there.
It is seemingly implied now that Jenova wasn't "brain-dead", and it is hinted that Sephiroth was addled during his breakdown.
It all begins with a strategically placed cut, when Sephiroth touches the door bearing the name Jenova and instructs "Cloud" to close the valve. The scene is merely functional for new fans, yet leaves a vacant space that Crisis Core players will quickly fill in with the inferred arrival of Genesis. Smart move that, leaving the interpretation to the player. Whether Genesis exists inside the Remake's continuity or not, the moment reads differently to each fan. Quite frankly, I was half-expecting “Cloud” to come across a banora apple, rolling on the floor, but I suppose that would be telling.
What's remarkable is that they give Sephiroth almost identical symptoms to those that Cloud has in the remake. Glitches and odd headaches superimpose themselves nicely over the original Crisis Core scene. And, as much as I loathe Tyler Hoechlin's acting in the game, he lends a tangible sense of rage to Sephiroth's disparaging remarks about Hojo and his experiments. You can hear the hatred, a touch of pity, and disgust directed at Hojo's work and the creatures he tortured. In Crisis Core, he refers to the test subjects as “abominations” with the same touch of bitterness.
Back to the point: glitches, pupil dilations, and headaches are visual cues for Jenovaroth's influence or proximity, as shown in the first part of the Remake. However, at this point, Sephiroth is still sane — cracking, but still himself — so the only agent who can exert influence on him is, well, Jenova.
Now, a widely established fan hypothesis maintained that Jenova was brain-dead or comatose. Bodily functions sustained, but brain activity plateaued. Rebirth, however, strangely suggests otherwise.
When "Cloud" returns to Sephiroth in the manor's basement for the second time, Sephiroth recites an excerpt from a journal purportedly written by Professor Gast:
��The specimen, found in a strata dating back two thousand years, smiled with what could only be described as 'ethereal grace'… Though the truth eluded me at first, I later determined that she was an Ancient - or a 'steward of the planet', as they are referred to in legend”.
Remembering the battles with Jenova Dreamweaver and Jenova Emergent, the creature is far from "graceful" or "ethereal". There is nothing graceful about her figure in the tube either, and she is not smiling. The game goes out of its way to lampshade the glaring contradiction by showing the flashes of Jenova’s fanged skull and grotesque body as Sephiroth quotes the passage. So how could Gast perceive her as such?.. The answer is most likely found in Jenova Dreamweaver's description given in Ultimania: the entity has the ability to induce hallucinations in individuals who come into proximity with it, which is further corroborated by Jenova Emergent description.
An ancient lifeform that Shinra Company has kept under strict
confidentiality. Those who come into contact can have their
conscience interfered as well as see illusions. Professor Hojo
has dedicated half of his life to researching Jenova, and within
the Shinra Company building's top floors lies a secret research
center called the "Dome," where Jenova's cells are injected into
lifeforms or machinery to conduct experiments. (Ultimania)
Gast even writes that “the truth eluded him at first”, but LATER he determines the specimen belonged to the race of Ancients, as if that answer was suggested. The implication is chilling: Jenova may have purposefully misled Gast in order to present itself as an Ancient. As Sephiroth later explains in the FF7Rb, Jenova is capable of seeing deep into one's soul and impersonating individuals you fear, love, or hate.
If ShinRA and Gast were determined to unravel the mysteries of Ancients and their Promised Land, it would make sense for Jenova to "scan" Gast and determine the best course of action: disguise itself as an Ancient in order to escape captivity in geological strata jail.
The scene in which Sephiroth reads Gast's notes is possibly the final time he is more or less himself, before Jenova's image intermingles with his for a brief moment. Again, I appreciate Tyler's voice acting in this particular section and the real rage he brought to it. Admittedly, I was concerned that with next-gen visuals, they would take a more gruesome approach, displaying Sephiroth conducting the Nibelheim carnage with sadistic pleasure, but they took a different route. Slow, zombie-like movements, and a glassy expression.
He speared the militiamen as casually as if he were spearing bugs, which is far more frightening from a narrative point. What jumped out was how they emphasized the possessed-like behavior: from snarling and flailing the book like a suffering person to an empty countenance and automaton-like strides, as if he was being beckoned. Which is what "Mother is waiting" implies.
The final segment of the Nibelheim flashback is likely the most essential as well. According to previous developer claims, Sephiroth's will took precedence over Jenova's, and he was in control — whether Jenova was brain-dead or simply of lesser willpower. However, the Rebirth appears to suggest something different right off the bat. First, "Cloud" shouts, "I believed in you… No… Not you — whoever the hell you are!", highlighting the significant personality change and the resulting lack of recognition. But then "Cloud" sees Jenova's image superimposed over that of Sephiroth in a rapid, glitch-like succession.
In other words, he sees Jenova inhabiting Sephiroth's body as a vehicle to once again escape the confinements. Whatever that means, whether it suggests that Jenova is in control from the start, or whether Sephiroth is literally the greatest functional agglomeration of her cells, and therefore literally “becomes” Jenova.
If Jenova's original body was severely damaged — either as a result of eons of incarceration or Hojo's tinkering — it stands to reason that, if she wished to carry out her plan, she would need a new body, one capable of moving at the very least. Perhaps Sephiroth, an able-bodied skilled Mako-infused fighter of considerable might, served as a better "vessel" than her original damaged one.
But the crux of the matter lies elsewhere. The possibility of Jenova being conscious and influencing Gast is very terrifying. With the potential to affect others in close vicinity, she may have influenced the minds of the whole science team behind the Jenova Project, particularly those who had long-term contact with her tissue — Gast and Hojo. It could turn out that the whole idea to revive an “Ancient” was planted by Jenova in order to grow itself a powerful host. In fact, if it could "peer into one's soul," i.e. read minds and memories, it might have easily identified a pressure point to indoctrinate people who could forward her objective. It's one thing to inject tissue samples into an adult body; it's quite another to devise a plan to inject cells into a developing human fetus. Who knows. Perhaps Hojo is such an obsessed Jenova nutcase in large part because he fell under its spell; feelings of inadequacy and being overshadowed by his colleague may have offered a crack in his defenses.
One that Jenova easily took advantage of. After all, as Dirge of Cerberus implies, Hojo ended up implanting himself with alien organic material.
Again, Jenova's power to extract information from an individual when in proximity supports a bleak reading of the events leading up to Nibelheim's ransacking. A person who kept on carrying a photograph of his supposedly late mother and badgered others about his background, as suggested by Ever Crisis episodes, was literally wearing his weakness on a sleeve.
Perhaps the 30-something years of the Jenova Project were supposed to bring Sephiroth there.
Perhaps the chain of events had been nudged in that direction, starting from the very discovery of a derelict non-human lifeform. Nudged by an intelligence both cunning and incomprehensible. And that makes Jenova a much, much scarier presence in the remake than it was ever suggested in OG.
423 notes
·
View notes
Spring Break Mishap
“Yo bro, I think that old dude is checking you out.”
Tyler turned and made eye contact with a rather large and older man, sitting on a beach chair. He looked like a hairy beached whale, obviously eying the young jock. Tyler smirked and turned back to his bros.
“Whatever man, let ‘em look.” The brunette tossed the football back to his bro, “I’d be staring too.” He chuckled and flexed one of his arms, showing off one of his muscular biceps.
His bros chuckled and continued their game, enjoying their time off on spring break. And after a few hours of spending time on the beach, Tyler was in need of some AC. He said bye to his bros and made his way back to his hotel room, making sure to give his signature smirk to a few of the girls he saw along the way. The young jock was planning for a night out and he made sure to get his own room for the trip. He was in some serious need for some action, which he was pretty confident he’d get.
“Not like many people can resist this.” He thought with a grin, “Fuck, her tits are big.” He thought as he passed by another blond, “I hope I see her tonight.”
He felt himself chub up a bit and quickly made his way back to his room. But when he got there, he was surprised to find his door slightly unlocked and ajar. He could’ve sworn he shut and locked it beforehand. And that’s when he heard it. There was someone in his room, rummaging around.
“A thief?” Tyler thought, “This asshole has another thing coming.”
“Hey dude what do you think you’re doing?” Tyler shouted as he entered his hotel room, immediately coming face to face with the intruder, “Wait you? Get the fuck out!” It was the older man- the man who Tyler remembered was checking him out earlier, “You fucking creep.”
“Wait, please I can explain!” The older man said in a gruff voice, holding what looked to be a gray body suit, “I-I...” Tyler shoved the man into the wall, inadvertently touching the gray body suit.
“I don’t give a shit. I’m gonna call...” Tyler heard a strange hissing sound and looked down at the gray suit on the ground.
It was quickly changing, taking on a human skin tone. A tan color that Tyler recognized as his own. But that wasn’t all. Key details started to appear on its initially formless shape, until Tyler realized he was basically looking at an incredibly detailed costume of himself.
“What the hell?” Tyler whispered, stepping away from the older man.
And Tyler watched closely as the suit seemed to move on its own and reached towards the older man like a zombie.
“Need... body...” It hissed.
Tyler felt frozen to the spot. This was unreal. There was no way this was happening. The older man smirked and let his arm enter the suit.
“I didn’t want to cause any trouble.” The older man said as the suit continued to wrap around his body, “But you’ve seen too much.”
Before Tyler could even register, the older man flexed his new, muscular arm, and punched the younger man with his new found strength. Tyler’s world spun before he passed out.
....
Tyler’s eyes flickered open and he winced at the mild pain in his head. He went to grab his head, but found that his arms were held above his head and restrained on a hotel bed frame. And it wasn’t just his arms, his legs were also bound. Dread settled in and he quickly tried to free himself to no avail.
“Oh shit you’re awake.” Tyler’s eyes widened and he looked around in terror. That voice... It sounded exactly like his, “I was hoping for just a little more time.” And then a man walked out from the bathroom.
And to Tyler’s terror, it was like looking in a mirror. The man who stood at the end of the bed was Tyler... Or at least an exact physical copy of him.
“You’re...?”
“You? Yeah you catch on fast.” The doppelganger chuckled, flexing an arm, “Well, I’m not ‘you’ per se, I’m ‘me’ now.” The new Tyler said, “I saw you on the beach and knew I needed to be you. So fucking sexy.” He kissed his bicep.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
The New Tyler smirked, “I’m Tyler from now on. Doesn’t seem too hard to understand. Right?”
“Let me go!” Tyler shouted, “How the fuck are you going to explain...?”
And that’s when Tyler heard it. Another hissing sound and a whispered voice, “Need... body...” Tyler’s heart sank as he heard something shambling through the hotel room. And that’s when he saw it. Crawling up the side of the bed was another one of those things. But this one... this one had the same appearance of the older man.
“No no no no!” Tyler begged as the suit got closer to him, “No please! Fuck let me go!” He was trying his bed to free himself from his restraints. A smile formed on the mask as it’s empty eye sockets cast their gaze on the restrained man.
It crawled inhumanely and began positioning itself over the restrained young man. Tyler watched in terror as the suit began to lower itself on Tyler’s helpless form.
“Please! Stop this!” Tyler shouted as he felt the skin of the suit on his legs.
He let out a cry as the suit aggressively wrapped around his lower legs, breaking the restraints nearly instantly. And as the suit settled over Tyler’s legs and feet, he could feel them begin to shift and crack. And to his horror, he realized he could no longer feel the difference between the suit and his own body. There was no suit, he realized as he wiggled his new toes, this was his body.
“Please, you can stop this? Right?” Tyler begged as the suits torso began to approach his toned abdominal muscles, “I... please stop!”
New Tyler shook his head, “I can’t stop this.” He said as he watched the suit’s dick encase Tyler’s, “And unfortunately once you’re bonded with this suit, it isn’t easy to undo.”
Tyler’s eyes widened before they closed in pain as the suit bonded to his torso. He felt his toned abdomen become seared to the suit and push out until he again couldn’t tell the difference between his body and the suit. His pecs followed- the muscle behind them vanishing as the suit fully connected and forced them to remodel to match the suit’s sagging chest. Tyler let out a frustrated grunt as he realized he could no longer feel his muscular chest. It felt old... somewhat jiggly and he winced as the New Tyler plucked one of his new chest hairs.
“And unfortunately, this little guy doesn’t work the way it used to.” Tyler could feel tears in his eyes as the New Tyler tugged on his dick, which didn’t show any signs of getting hard, “Don’t worry, I have stuff that might help you.” New Tyler reassured mockingly.
“You need to stop this.” Tyler huffed, “Please... I can’t...”
“It’s okay. I’ve made a few modifications to this suit.” New Tyler said calmly, “You won’t even miss your old body.”
Tyler groaned as his arms were encased and quickly bonded to the suit. His restraints came undone, and the larger man rolled off the bed with a thud. He sat up his knees and looked down at his hairy abdomen that now sat between his legs. He frowned and grabbed a fistful of his new fat.
“You need to reverse this... please... I want my body back.” Tyler begged as he felt the back of his head become wrapped by the suit’s. There was something odd though... Tyler could feel something else... not just the usual feeling of the physical changes, but new thoughts that also seemed to permeate his mind as the suit’s head touched his.
“I can’t do that.” New Tyler smirked, pulling down his pants, “But I’ll give you one last chance to enjoy your body.”
Tyler’s eyes widened as he came face to face with his own dick. He could barely process what was happening, as New Tyler slapped his face with it. Tyler wanted to resist, to turn away, but he felt another pulse from the back of his head and suddenly, he was slowly opening his mouth, inviting his own cock into his mouth.
“There you go.” New Tyler said as Tyler started sucking his cock, “Enjoy it while you can.”
Tyler felt tears in his eyes as he swallowed more and more of his large cock. At the same time, the suit was finishing its process. Tyler’s face was slowly covered by the suit’s, which quickly bonded to him and started cementing the changes. His once clean shaven face now sported an unkempt beard, which covered his double chin. His hairline now receded, while his once youthful features were now older. And with this final physical change, Tyler was bombarded with mental alterations.
‘Fuck.’ He thought as a cloud settled over his brain and he gained new appreciate for sucking cock, ‘This guy is so fucking hot.’
New Tyler moaned as the Old Tyler continued to vigorously suck his cock, now with the skill of an expert. And after a few more moments of intense pleasure, New Tyler let out a moan and came- coating the back of the old man’s throat. The young jock breathed heavily and smirked as he watched the older man wipe the sides of his mouth.
“Fuck, you’re good old man.” New Tyler smirked, “But that was a one-time thing for us, got it?”
Old Tyler nodded, “Thank you.” He whispered in a far gruffer voice, gazing at awe at the hunk of a man standing in front of him, “If you change your mind though...” But New Tyler was already gone, leaving the old man sitting on the floor. He eventually picked himself up and walked over to the mirror, looking at himself carefully. Sure he was out of shape and not much to look at, but if he was able to get someone like that young man to come by, he felt like he might have some better luck that night. He quickly snapped a photo of himself for Grindr, waiting eagerly for another chance to have some fun.
456 notes
·
View notes